QuitByHealing - beat porn addiction & level up your life

Do you crave real, deep friendship in your life? Do you want to have men around you whom you can trust, who've got your back, who help you grow and challenge you to keep going? In other words: do you want high quality friends?Let's talk about exactly what it takes to make this happens. In this video, you'll discover why building this kind of friendship requires leadership. And why the world needs men like you to step up into greater social leadership.You'll see what's been going wrong in the world that leads to such loneliness and disconnection as we're experiencing now and we'll go into the practical steps and tools you can use to change your own social life and the social lives of everyone you touch. By the end, you'll know exactly how to change your social life and you'll understand how this topic relates to the deeply masculine qualities of taking leadership and responsibility.Chapters: 00:00 Intro00:54 I had to learn this from scratch01:45 Relational Leadership03:05 Overstimulated & Addicted04:21 Get clear about what you want05:43 Apply the Filter07:58 Where to Find the Right People08:38 Be Proactive09:06 The Texting Rule10:11 Create the Perfect Meetup11:40 Activation Energy14:10 A Matter of Practice17:35 Cultivating Deep Connection19:23 The World Needs You More than You KnowRelated videos:- Honesty & Courage: https://youtu.be/Tv10XZXwMy4- Communication skills every man needs: https://youtu.be/u4kOqFU7oj0- Communication skills, part 2: https://youtu.be/ijVGplE45gIAlso, check out this article I co-authored about how I quickly gather awesome people around me when I arrive in a new place: https://thisistbh.substack.com/p/more-friends-wont-make-you-less-lonely

Get the QuitByHealing Program: https://quitbyhealing.com/program/Join the newsletter: https://quitbyhealing.com/newsletter/There's a lot of talk about semen retention in the men's advice and nofap worlds. Unfortunately, almost everything people are saying about this is plain wrong. Really just entirely missing the point and probably doing more harm than good.If you're going to do this, do it right and avoid the pitfalls and mistakes that I explain in this video. Here, you'll learn about the Taoist and Yogic roots of the idea of semen retention, why there are stories of people gaining superpowers from not nutting for a while and what you should and shouldn't do if this is a path of spiritual development you want to take.Chapters:00:00 We need to talk about this...00:41 A quick disclaimer02:01 What semen retention is NOT about03:42 What semen retention IS about04:50 "Moving Energy"05:58 Okay, but how?07:56 The Real Thing vs. The Side Effect09:43 Why it does more harm than good11:19 Don't Abstain(?)12:27 Mistake Number 114:57 Mistake Number 216:17 What it SHOULD Feel Like18:33 Do this instead19:39 My personal experience20:32 Get out of the Struggle Cycle23:26 The World Needs Good MenRelated videos: - Why it's harmful to expect benefits/superpowers on a specific timeline: https://youtu.be/bIdb60GrI18- Don't get stuck in your masculine development: https://youtu.be/nLsEGUF3JUg- How to develop a healthy masculine communication style: https://youtu.be/u4kOqFU7oj0

Join the newsletter: https://quitbyhealing.com/newsletter/ Get my Introspective Writing Course: https://shanemelaugh.com/iw/ How do you build self respect? The only good answer to that question is: become a man you respect. Change your behavior so that it is in line with your values. But how exactly do you do that? Unfortunately, most guys do this wrong. Especially young, ambitious men tend to fall into the "trap of perfection". That's why I've come up with a simple tool you can use to build your habits and build self respect much more effectively. Use this approach to outperform all the average guys around you (who are constantly aiming for perfection and always falling short). 00:00 Simple But Powerful Question 01:20 How You're Doing it Wrong 02:26 The 3 Questions 02:59 Example 1: Gym 05:21 Example 2: Dating 08:14 Example 3: Relationship 10:25 How You Will Outperform 12:10 The Exception: When to Aim for Mastery 13:30 How Generalists Win 14:52 Try this Challenge

Join the QuitByHealing newsletter: https://quitbyhealing.com/newsletter/ What do you do when you are struggling with addictive urges? How can you stop yourself from compulsively doing things you later regret and falling back into bad habits? The most effective tools I've found to deal with these issues are the 2 awareness tools I'm presenting in this video. I call them Spotlight Awareness and Embodiment. Chapters: 00:00 Intro 00:49 When your bad habit have the most power over you 01:26 Tool 1 - Spotlight Awareness 02:11 Checking in with Thoughts and Emotions 03:09 Keep following the thread 04:23 Underlying emotions leading to addictive behavior 06:03 Arriving at resolution 06:48 Turn it into a new habit 07:20 Tool 2 - Embodiment 07:50 How it Works 08:30 What to do if embodiment feels difficult to access 09:06 Focus on what is most noticeable 10:13 Learning to drop from your mind to your body 11:42 Rest your awareness with sensations 12:28 Why resistance doesn't work 14:30 How to combine these tools 15:37 Practicing awareness 15:58 Use these tools to make real progress 17:22 Conclusion

Join my newsletter: https://quitbyhealing.com/newsletter/ The better your self control, the more successful you'll be. It's people who are good at delaying gratification that end up more successful, happier, better off and wealthier, compared to people who have low self control and act impulsively. Common sense, right? Well, it turns out that almost everything you've ever been told about self control is actually a misunderstanding. Many studies have shown that people with "high self control" do indeed end up healthier, happier and better off... but when you look closer, "self control" is actually a mis-labeling. What from the outside might look like self control is actually a combination of completely different characteristics. What's worse, if you want to join this group of successful individuals, trying to exert more self control is actually making things worse, not better. So let's dig into it and see how this applies to building habits, breaking bad habits and addictions and being smart about improving your life. Chapters: 00:00 It all started with a marshmallow 02:20 False Conclusions 03:17 Delayed Gratification = Success? 04:59 "Self Control" is the wrong label 07:29 Trait vs. State 09:40 Self Control is for Losers 11:21 Key to Success 1 14:26 Key to Success 2 17:56 Key to Success 3 21:40 Summary 22:51 Believe Your Own Experience Sources: - https://docs.iza.org/dp14920.pdf - https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/39096668/ Footage from: - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8M7Xzjy_m8 - https://youtu.be/4L-n8Z7G0ic

Join the QuitByHealing newsletter: https://quitbyhealing.com/newsletter/ Men nowadays grow up without anyone teaching us how to become real men. We stay stuck in boyhood for far too long and it's a painful experience! But if you feel lost and confused like many do, it's not your fault. For some reason, you were not given the guidance and life skills that you deserved! In today's podcast episode, I have a conversation with a friend of mine who had exactly this problem in his life - and then solved it in a very short amount of time. Darriall is someone I've personally known as he rapidly went through the stages of development for healthy masculinity (https://youtu.be/nLsEGUF3JUg). You can find Darriall here: https://www.instagram.com/dmjport/ https://www.threads.net/@dmjport https://www.linkedin.com/in/darriall In this episode: 00:00 The guidance we aren't getting 01:18 A real life example of breaking free 03:26 Literally leaving the comfort zone 07:41 Fake adversity doesn't work 09:05 What if you can't afford to leave? 14:44 Going Ghost Mode (the wrong way) 19:39 Why you should have a

Join the QuitByHealing newsletter: https://quitbyhealing.com/newsletter/ The goal is not just to quit porn, it's to become completely uninterested in porn. And yes, that is possible, no matter how severely addicted you are right now. Today, we look at a story that explains this. It can be hard to imagine that you'd literally become 100% addiction free, for most people. But once you understand the "alternate reality" that I explain in this video, you'll have a new perspective. This story will show you the true roots of addiction and the mental health issues that are closely tied to it. And it also shows you the way out. This is about how to become the man who is completely uninterested in porn and other addictive stuff. Quit porn addiction in just 21 days: https://quitbyhealing.com/program/ In this episode: 00:00 Intro 00:44 Coping Early On 01:45 Managing vs. Healing 02:06 Once an Addict Always an Addict? 02:52 What Causes Addiction 04:05 An Alternative Scenario 04:33 Early Experiences 05:41 Why We Have Dysfunctional Families 06:33 Negative vs. Positive Imprint 07:58 A Healthy Exploration 09:54 The Unhealthy Reality 11:11 Boys and Girls 13:19 Our Culture Creates Addicts 14:44 Become Immune to Addiction 16:48 The Man Who is Uninterested 17:01 This is Not Just About You 18:05 What to Do Next

Get my free Introspective Writing crash course: https://quitbyhealing.com/newsletter/ Could it be that using pornography while in a relationship is actually WORSE than cheating? That sounds like a crazy claim, but there are at least 2 ways in which it is indeed worse. We live in a world where it is normalized to watch porn. Even in a relationship, many people wouldn't be surprised that one partner (or both) still watch porn in secret. It's easy to dismiss this and assume it's harmless. Maybe even a good way to balance out mismatched libidos between the partners! Unfortunately, this is not the whole truth. And when you look more closely at the long term effects and at the causes underneath, a very different picture reveals itself. 00:00 Could it really be worse than cheating? 00:58 Reason Nr. 1 - Brain Health 01:37 Evolutionary Perspective on Infidelity 02:48 Ethics vs. Health 03:33 Casual Use 05:04 What's better for the relationship? 05:29 The Long Term Harm 06:12 How it all goes wrong 06:29 The "Mismatched Libido" Excuse 07:50 Do women really have lower libido than men? 08:55 Using porn in a "healthy" way? 10:26 What happens when you keep numbing 10:39 Scenario 1 12:07 Putting your life back together 12:43 No longer the man-child 13:41 Scenario 2 14:19 The slow death of a relationship 14:49 Stuck in the same cycle 15:16 Sadly, I speak from experience 16:08 None of this means cheating is good 16:24 The third option 17:23 Make the honest choice 18:12 Set a High Standard 20:26 This is Why You Need to Step Up 21:30 How to Do the Honorable Thing Quit porn addiction forever, in just 21 days: https://quitbyhealing.com/program/ Sources: - The Evolution of Desire by David M. Buss - The State of Affairs and Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel - Sex at Dawn by Christopher Ryan Related videos: - The 5 levels of porn addiction: https://youtu.be/yLnDilkqGQA - How to quit while in a relationship: https://youtu.be/F28Rnel63xY - Fake desires caused by porn consumption: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzPCWITx0GQ

Get the introspective writing course here: https://quitbyhealing.com/newsletter/ Quitting porn is often seen as the solution to many problems, but what if it makes intrusive thoughts worse during recovery? Intrusive thoughts are a withdrawal symptom that can be very frustrating to deal with, when you're quitting a bad habit or addiction. Unlike other withdrawal effects, many people find that intrusive thoughts actually get WORSE, the longer you stay clean. Why does this happen and what can you do to eliminate these unwanted, unwelcome thoughts that pop into your head, once and for all? That's what we're examining in today's video, including a practical case study and the one key insight you need to never have this problem again. If peace of mind has been difficult for you to get after you quit your addiction, this video contains the knowledge you've been missing. Chapters: 00:00 This gets worse instead of better? 01:19 Part of the solution is not skipping 01:44 Why do intrusive thoughts happen? 03:21 Normal part of the recovery process 05:05 The crucial difference 06:40 It's just how the brain works 09:18 Negative emotions are a strong signal 10:18 Your response to intrusive thoughts 11:37 The “emotional charge” model 12:20 How it all connects 13:03 Solutions, Part 1 14:23 Solutions, Part 2 15:15 Solutions, Part 3 17:45 A case study 18:52 How to never have intrusive thoughts 20:36 A new perspective on intrusive thoughts 21:44 One more thing

Discipline and hard work are the keys to success, right? It's how you accomplish your goals and create the life you envision... at least, that's what we're constantly being told. But while discipline is a useful tool, it's not useful in every situation. And when it comes to achieving your goals, discipline can actually end up slowing you down rather than getting you there faster. In today's episode, we unpack this unusual idea, so you can know the pitfalls of being overly reliant on discipline and you can detect the opportunities where there is an easier way to get better results. If one of your goals is to overcome p*rn addiction, sign up for my new, free newsletter here, to get access to my best tools and strategies: https://quitbyhealing.com/newsletter/

To become a man, you must progress through a natural process of maturing: from boy to Knight, to Prince to King. Unfortunately, we live in a world where this natural progression is denied to most of us. And instead, we have social media, OnlyFans, vapes and junk food to keep us stuck in boy mode... Join the newsletter & get access to my free courses: https://quitbyhealing.com/links/ The result is clear: we've got a lot of boys walking around in adult bodies, these days. We've lost and forgotten all the tools our ancestors had, to help in the difficult transition, the teach a boy how to become a real, complete man. Nowadays, we get stuck in childhood in many ways. We become passive consumers of entertainment media and entertainment goods. And yet, no matter how comfortable we are or how much we entertain and stimulate ourselves, we never actually feel good in a lasting kind of way. The solution to this is to get unstuck and progress through the stages of development that, as a man, you have a natural inclination to go through. In this episode of the QuitByHealing Podcast, you'll discover the 4 stages of development that every man must go through, how to go through them and where it typically goes wrong. Chapters: 00:00 Intro 01:00 The 4 Stages 01:08 The Page - looking up to his heroes 01:51 The Knight - adventure calls! 02:23 Play and skill development 05:11 The Prince - time to build 07:19 The crisis at the end of the Prince phase 08:41 Multiple attempts as a Prince 10:05 The King - the mature man, in service of others 11:27 How to apply this to your life 12:25 How we get stuck 13:57 Addiction is seeking a substitute for real development 15:22 The eternal Page 16:24 A world designed to keep you immature 17:40 Getting stuck in the Prince stage 19:12 Avoiding failure is overrated 20:36 You can't skip to the King stage 22:08 Which stage are you in? 24:00 Observe the stages in others 25:19 How you can progress to become The King The stages of development presented in this episode are based on Alison Armstrong's work "The Amazing Development of Men" and I highly recommend you check it out.

In this episode, we're looking at the surprising and powerful benefits of... doing nothing. Phone addiction, doomscrolling, social media dopamine traps, p*rn... everyone's addicted to digital stimulation these days. And it's causing a lot of suffering. I know how bad this can get, both from personal experience and from the people I've worked with to overcome their addiction. When you're in the middle of a personal mental health crisis, everything feels overwhelming and hopeless. But what I have for you today is a message of hope. There is one fact of life, one thing that is universally true and that we can actually observe everywhere if we just pay close enough attention, that makes me very optimistic. And once you understand this, you will see that for you, no matter how desperate your situation seems, a solution is much closer and much more immediate than you think... 00:00 Intro 00:29 The Spiral of Suffering 01:27 The Thing Everyone Misses 03:27 Example: Curing Disease 04:33 Removing Interference 05:45 What (not) to DIY 07:07 What About Mental Health? 08:49 A Message of Hope 10:04 Don't Believe Me 11:45 A Fact of Life 12:03 Why this is a "Secret" 13:04 You Have the Power The fastest way to quit: https://quitbyhealing.com/program/

https://quitbyhealing.com/links/ ☝️ this is the link for the QuitByHealing Community, all the free courses I mentioned in the episode and for the 21 day QuitByHealing Program. When you use p*rn a lot, one of the consequences is that it changes and warps your desires. It's common for addicts to end up watching content that isn't even aligned with their true desires or even true sexual orientation. In today's episode, we examine the phenomenon and explain how you can "uninstall" those fake desires and return to a healthy, wholesome and authentic sexuality. Note: this is advanced content. If you are only just starting on your journey of addiction recovery, there is better content for you to start with. I recommend the first episode of the podcast: https://youtu.be/MIRntVnoX34?si=dPopq2M7SvNuOucE And this "how to quit" crash course: https://youtu.be/ttNE0Fd9PoI?si=lpu5g8QwD_TMkOdg Chapters: 00:00 An Important Warning 02:13 Emotional Burden 07:16 How to Heal 09:10 Real vs. Fake Desire 12:44 What Happens When You Quit 14:00 How to Develop Healthy Desire The most radical way to quit your addictions and reset your life: https://youtu.be/sbPSY9ktLIA?si=G7v2cPdbzEjdSJdb What happens if you relapse? https://youtu.be/lNvWG65Ta0Q?si=WHwPbEPpOTf7z4sk Why non-resistance is (scientifically) the best way to change: https://youtu.be/couAdusdd1w?si=dtuBOYkz4SXvWvhr --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/qbh/message

Do you ever feel like you're trying so hard to improve yourself and improve your life... but you're not making any progress? You're watching all this self help content, reading books, learning strategies, trying new things but you're just not sure if any of it is working. If so, this is the most important message you need to hear. It's what I wish someone had told me 20+ years ago, when my own journey started. Only through years of experience in building several businesses and in developing my own skills (pretty much from total loser to living the dream life) did I finally understand what I'm sharing with you in this video. Learn my system here: https://quitbyhealing.com/links/ 00:00 - Intro 01:27 - Building a Successful Business 04:29 - Turning My Life Around 08:17 - Success Paradox 09:41 - Lesson from 2 Stories 10:55 - Why this is a Hidden Truth 12:41 - How to Actually Win 15:56 - Conclusion --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/qbh/message

Join the QuitByHealing community here: https://quitbyhealing.com/links/ "You're just doing it because you're single! Once you get a girlfriend or wife, you'll be fine!" This is what many people believe / hope about p*rn use and p*rn addiction. It's just a normal, harmless thing that guys do, right? And once you're partnered, the problems go away... Unfortunately, the opposite is often true and users find that their habit causes even MORE problems when they're in a relationship than when they were single. Today, we'll look at why this is and what you can do right now to prevent your addiction from ruining your next (or current) relationship. 00:00 Intro 01:03 My Story 06:17 How the addiction affects a relationship 08:58 When an addict gets into a relationship 11:10 What to Do: Single 15:28 What to Do: Partnered 17:18 Conclusion How to take leadership in communication & relationship: https://youtu.be/u4kOqFU7oj0 How to establish healthy boundaries: https://youtu.be/ijVGplE45gI How to completely reset your brain in 30 days: https://youtu.be/sbPSY9ktLIA Subscribe to the podcast, leave a voice note: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/qbh Watch my interview on the Modern Couples Summit: https://summit.modern-couples.com/#aff=skillmedia --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/qbh/message

...and realizing this is like a cheat code for life. Join the QuitByHealing community: https://quitbyhealing.com/links/ You're making your life unnecessarily difficult by going after the things you want. Wait, what..? Isn't it a good thing to go for what you want? Well, yes. But there's one problem: the things you THINK you want aren't what you REALLY want. And in many cases, going after what you think you want actually makes it harder for you to get what you really want. I know this may sound a bit complicated, but that's exactly why I recorded this episode for the QuitByHealing podcast: once you understand this idea, it becomes a real life hack. It's what I used to shortcut my way to living my dream life. Sounds like a big claim, but I have the stories from my personal life to back it up. So strap in and take notes. If you get it, this might just change your life. Subscribe to the podcast, leave a voice note: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/qbh 00:00 Intro 01:06 What You Think You Want vs. What You Really Want 01:25 I want the perfect physique 02:33 The Question 03:40 Lifting to Be Attractive to Women? 06:25 A shorter path to your goal 08:35 Direct or by Proxy? 09:07 I want a better jawline 10:04 I want status & respect 11:36 I want to be rich 14:10 Chasing Rainbows 14:41 Un-Addict Yourself 16:59 How to Do This 18:00 Conclusion The ultimate way to quit your addictions, reset your dopamine levels & become a radically better version of you: https://youtu.be/sbPSY9ktLIA?si=klTCTyDrI2Qcbr7Y The 3 stages of overcoming addictive behaviors: https://youtu.be/dXfLDUFt7jg?si=3i8Zs9zJ7Yq_CcwJ Being bored is good, actually: https://youtu.be/60ak4oTpPG4?si=PgFD5p59RxlC8RM1 --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/qbh/message

Join the QuitByHealing community: https://quitbyhealing.com/links/ For men, our development is stunted by the modern world and most of us are stuck in "man-child mode" in many areas of our lives. In the last episode, I shared a technique you can use to form deep connections with people (like a mature man) instead of only shallow connections (like a child). In this episode, we're looking at the flip side of this communication coin: how to establish and defend healthy boundaries. This might sound simple, but the truth is that A) most likely no one has ever taught you how to do this and B) if you do this correctly, it's absolutely life changing. If you: find yourself surrounded by toxic people who don't support you are a pushover and you're tired of it want to be taken seriously want to be able to make a powerful impression on people want to be able to project authority want to be a more desirable man You absolutely NEED the tool of healthy boundaries in your toolkit. 00:00 Intro 01:28 Not Everyone Deserves Your Trust 04:00 What Are Healthy Boundaries? 05:15 An Example 06:13 What Unhealthy Boundaries Look Like 07:36 Mature Communication is Contagious 08:52 Make a Better Impression 09:59 Become a Man of Values 13:46 How to Handle Boundary Violations 15:42 Practice in Small Steps 16:23 How it Changes Your Life 18:12 Surround Yourself With Excellence 19:08 Conclusion --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/qbh/message

Join the QuitByHealing community: https://quitbyhealing.com/links/ The world you live in is unfortunately keeping you stuck in man-child mode. This happens in many ways and one of them is the topic of this podcast episode: you never learn to create and cultivate deep social connections or deep romantic connections. The world (especially the online media world) is obsessed with all the aspects of shallow and fleeting connection. It trains you to chase variety and to see social connection through the lens of status. But shallow connections always leave you feeling empty and lonely, no matter how many people you're surrounded by. This applies to both platonic connections as well as romantic ones. In response to widespread dissatisfaction, we see a lot of complaining and entitlement. Everyone's unhappy and in the modern dating discourse, everyone's trying to find someone to blame for this unhappiness. Someone other than themselves, that is. Instead, let's look at exactly why this is happening and how you are being called to step up and take on the role of a mature man and the role of leadership in your relationships. 00:00 Intro 01:40 Two Modes of Connection 04:18 What Does it Mean to Connect Deeply? 08:27 Depth of Connection in Romance 10.37 Don't Know What You're Missing 13:22 How You're Stuck in Boyhood 14:30 Solution, Part 1 17:17 Solution, Part 2 18:40 Solution, Part 3 20:40 Growth Outside the Comfort Zone 21:57 Conclusion --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/qbh/message

Join the QuitByHealing community: https://quitbyhealing.com/links/ What does it take to transform your life completely? Is it even possible to go from dead-end existence, complete lack of direction, low energy, no motivation... to living an awesome life, feeling driven, feeling motivated every day? As you'll discover in this episode, the answer is most definitely YES. But there are also clear reasons why most people never make such a dramatic transformation. Once you understand what's holding you back, you're one step closer to making it happen. 00:00 Intro 00:51 Is it even possible? 02:05 Resistance 04:53 Social Discomfort 06:16 Step 1: Replace Passive Consumption 07:37 Too extreme? 08:18 Change Your Brain 11:08 Why You Should to the Spartan Challenge 12:15 Creating instead of consuming 15:01 The Highest ROI Thing You Can Do 18:10 Rapid Skill Building 20:25 Conclusion 22:04 Digging My Own Grave? The 30 day Spartan Mode challenge: https://youtu.be/sbPSY9ktLIA --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/qbh/message

Folks, this is a big one. We decided to once and for all, completely and comprehensively answer the question: "what should I do when I get the urge to relapse?" This is the complete answer. Not only are we laying out 60+ options for what to do instead of relapsing, but we're exploring exactly why these things work and how it all fits together. Find the full write up and visual mind-map here: https://quitbyhealing.com/urges/ Join the QuitByHealing community: https://quitbyhealing.com/links/ Quit Porn Crash Course: https://quitbyhealing.com/quit-porn/ Topics covered in this episode: 00:00 The best way to deal with urges 01:21 The Two Categories 03:28 Exercise, Movement & Burpees 05:20 Don't just resist 07:21 Sport 08:50 Movement Skills 13:53 Movement is Brain Healthy 15:18 Cooking Skills 17:02 Emotional Skills 18:15 Introspective Writing 20:12 Meditation 21:39 Push a little further 23:35 Mental Skills (Reading) 29:40 Active learning & Mental Models 30:18 Social Skills 32:13 Communication Skills 35:38 Social Courage 38:08 Financial skills - Income, Save, Invest 38:39 Too many options 40:58 Rest 41:42 Nervous System - Breathwork 43:26 Addiction Replacement 48:56 Move Through the Urge 49:21 Sitting in the Fire, Embodiment & Boredom 53:00 Active Engagement: Shadow Work 54:00 Amplify the Feeling (Advanced) 57:47 How does this serve me? 01:00:02 Conversation with Addict Self (IFS) 01:03:25 Writing: Emo Dump 01:05:55 Self-Awareness is a Skill 01:07:08 Energy Transmutation Practices 01:11:42 Eureka Moments & Pointing Out the Obvious 01:12:41 What is the best thing to do? 01:18:10 Build your own Version 01:19:24 Where to start? (Self Responsibility) 01:23:18 Don't do it alone The Summarised List & Full "How To Beat Urges" Protocol Details: https://quitbyhealing.com/urges/

Join the QuitByHealing community: https://quitbyhealing.com/links/ Quit Porn Crash Course: https://quitbyhealing.com/quit-porn/ In this episode, Shane and Abhi take a deep dive into how pornography addiction (and other dopamine traps) can become the main obstacles preventing you from achieving your life's goals. Through a community survey, we've identified the profound desires people have in life, with healthy relationships and personal growth emerging as top priorities. Of course, when an addiction to porn comes into play, your chances of success are significantly hindered, cutting you off at the knees. Join us for a candid conversation about breaking free from these dopamine traps and regaining control of your life. Gain valuable insights and actionable advice on overcoming the allure of instant gratification and pursuing a brighter future. The SPARTAN MODE Approach to Overcoming Addiction: https://youtu.be/sbPSY9ktLIA Chapters in this podcast 00:00 - Intro: Is porn a roadblock to your best self? 02:24 - Community Survey: You Want to be a Better Man 06:36 - Sexual Energy is your Life Force 14:04 - A distorted view of Success 18:31 - The Impossible Standard 25:10 - IRL Feels Good 29:07 - Dopamine traps are keeping you stuck 34:08 - The Comfort Trap: Abundance 40:20 - Self Control is the Key 43:12 - Don't wait for rock bottom Join the QuitByHealing community: https://quitbyhealing.com/links/ Quit Porn Crash Course: https://quitbyhealing.com/quit-porn/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/qbh/message

Join the QuitByHealing community: https://quitbyhealing.com/links/ A lot of folks in the self-development community often find themselves sifting through advice that may not be relevant to their situation. They encounter elite optimization plans, intense bootcamps, and claims of "the fastest and best" methods to achieve their goals, typically offered by high-achievers and coaches. In this podcast episode, we're introducing a model that breaks down self-development into four levels. This model will assist you in assessing your current level and provide practical tips to help you progress up the ranks. The Levels of Self Development: Level Zero - No Lifer Level 1 - GYST Level 2 - The Top 1% Level 3 - Mastery & Paying it Forward The 5 Pillars of GYST (Get your Sh*t Together): 1 - Physical (Fitness, Strength, Mobility & Nutrition) 2 - Emotional (Awareness & Resilience) 3 - Metal (Knowledge & Development) 4 - Social (Communication & Relationships) 5 - Financial (Literacy & Career Capital) To get the full episodes on how to practically improve these domains in your life see ikario podcast. Physical https://youtu.be/gfYaJ9TTqzE Emotional https://youtu.be/mTGLM0bKOOs Metal https://youtu.be/f6LiWVBZwGY Social https://youtu.be/IVuOh1llq64 Financial https://youtu.be/goZ9EzldSko Chapters in this podcast 00:00 - Intro: What advice is right for me? 03:31 - The 4 Levels of Personal Development 04:23 - Level Zero: No-Lifer 07:42 - Addiction Keeps You Stuck 11:02 - Unconsciously Seeking Escape 15:16 - You Cannot Consume a Solution 16:03 - Level 1: GYST (Get Your Shit Together) 19:26 - Level 2: Top 1% 22:56 - Level 3: Mastery & Paying it Forward 25:23 - Motivated by Making a Difference 29:10 - Role Modelling to Make a Change 32:44 - Level Zero Advice: Stacking Small Wins 38:45 - Start Where You're At 40:16 - High-Functioning Level Zero 42:43 - Deliberate Action 44:24 - Tracking Small Wins 45:06 - Level 1 Advice: Kill Internal Suffering 48:01 - Level 1 Advice: Consistency & Remove Friction 56:31 - What is a Skill I Need? 59:16 - The Basics Are Underestimated 1:03:52 - Level 2 Advice: Prioritize & Optimize 1:08:49 - Level 3 Advice: Be open to the Transition 1:10:01 - Summary of the Levels 1:12:21 - Outro Join the QuitByHealing community: https://quitbyhealing.com/links/ The SPARTAN MODE Approach to Overcoming Addiction: https://youtu.be/XIJs36sHZo0?si=V7DOhfNtFNRCxbeQ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/qbh/message

Join the QuitByHealing community to beat p*rn addiction once and for all: https://quitbyhealing.com/links/ Porn addiction is a serious issue. It affects mental health, mood, motivation and many other aspects of life. Not least, it affects everything related to love, dating, romance and sex. As I've discovered through my work with addicts, the addiction creates a complicated, tangled mess that construes all the guilt and shame associated with pornography overuse with healthy desire, romantic feelings and acts of self pleasure. In this podcast episode, I attempt to untangle this mess so that you can move towards a healthy, happy relationship with desire, sex and romance in your own life. In this episode: 00:00 - Intro 01:09 - What is and isn't harmful 03:50 - A much needed definition of terms 05:12 - Why the untangling is important 06:32 - Religion and shame 07:33 - What it means for quitting 10:08 - Unhealthy self pleasure? 12:49 - Healthy self pleasure habits 14:34 - How porn addiction affects partnered sex 17:04 - Sex and human connection 18:50 - A period of abstinence 20:23 - Beware of simple stories The most effective way to beat p*rn addiction and rapidly rewire your brain: https://youtu.be/sbPSY9ktLIA?si=jkYHWMHeEONt8DZ5 --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/qbh/message

Join the QuitByHealing community: https://quitbyhealing.com/links/ My 30 day challenge summary - see what SPARTAN MODE actually looks like: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbPSY9ktLIA I followed the Spartan Mode protocol for 30 days. The protocol is designed to completely obliterate all bad habits, addictions and all the ways in which we keep ourselves from really living to our full potential. In this episode, I share in detail what the experience was like and what lessons I took from it. What we cover: - The most surprising and unexpected positive effects of cutting out ALL media consumption. - Why doing an extreme challenge is easier than doing a moderate challenge. - How Spartan Mode is designed to unhook you from addictive behaviors AND rewire your brain as quickly as possible. - How to transition back into "real life" after such an extreme challenge. - What the hardest thing about the challenge was, which almost made me give up. - The most important lessons I took from the challenge and how you can use them to your advantage. Check out the QuitByHealing Program here: https://quitbyhealing.com/links/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/qbh/message

Join the QuitByHealing Community: https://quitbyhealing.com/links/ Since starting QuitByHealing, I have received thousands of comments on my videos, TikToks and in the QbH community. In all of these comments, I am seeing clear patterns and one of them is this: There are 3 limiting beliefs that are very common... and that make you fail because they create a self fulfilling prophecy. So in today's podcast episode, we examine these 3 limiting beliefs, look at how they are part of your self sabotaging behavior and discover what you can do to fix them. Subscribe to the podcast, leave a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/qbh 00:00 - Intro 01:15 - Limiting Belief Nr. 1 02:30 - Fun With Cognitive Biases 05:03 - Cognitive Biases in Action 05:43 - Self Fulfilling Prophecy 06:53 - How to Fix Limiting Belief Nr. 1 09:49 - Limiting Belief Nr. 2 12:53 - How to Fix Limiting Belief Nr. 2 15:42 - A Tool for Awareness 16:30 - Limiting Belief Nr. 3 18:15 - How to Fix Limiting Belief Nr. 3 19:03 - The 4 Pillars of QuitByHealing --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/qbh/message

All the QuitByHealing links & resources: https://quitbyhealing.com/links/ All of Jeremy's links & resources: https://linktr.ee/jeremymindful Check out Jeremy's podcast here: https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/id1648984850 In today's episode of the podcast, meet Jeremy Lipkowitz. He is a guy who seemingly had it all: academic and athletic success, friends, good health and hopeful prospects for the future... and yet, he was plagued with an addiction to pornography that stole all his joy. He got fed up with this state of being and chose a radical solution: he left his life behind, traveled to India and studied meditation and other contemplative practices. He was determined to get to the bottom of why his mind kept him stuck in compulsive behaviors and why he was unable to be happy despite things seemingly going so well in his life. The lessons he brought back from this journey not only helped him overcome his addiction but also changed his life in countless other ways. And today, he shares some of his most valuable insights with us. Chapters: 00:00 Intro 01:32 Jeremy's Turning Point 04:32 How to Gain Awareness 07:43 Hungry Ghost Behavior 12:15 Addiction Despite Living the Dream Life? 17:25 How to Untangle Yourself from Addiction 21:00 Expert Doom Scrollers 22:38 What is the Default State of Your Mind? 24:27 How to Transform Your Mind 27:27 Why You're Suffering 31:03 Rat Park Experiment 34:52 Where to Start the Healing Process 38:04 What to Do When You Relapse 39:37 Unwinding Your Feelings of Shame 44:17 A Uniquely Difficult Challenge 48:49 A Goal Worth Striving For --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/qbh/message

An important tool in your arsenal against temptations, urges and relapses is what we call a strong why. Having a strong, clear, emotionally resonant reason fro WHY you want to quit can make all the difference in a critical moment. In this episode, you'll discover exactly how a STRONG WHY works and the practical way in which you can create one for yourself. 00:00 Intro 00:57 The Counter Force 01:53 Example of a WEAK WHY 03:03 What Makes a STRONG WHY 05:46 The Painful Way to Create a STRONG WHY 07:51 How to Create Your WHY 12:43 Putting it Into Practice 14:46 Conclusion --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/qbh/message

Join the community, take the program, find all the important links: https://quitbyhealing.com/links/ If you're trying to overcome addictive behavior, compulsive behavior or even just bad habits, here's an unusual thing to consider: what if you don't actually WANT TO quit? What if you're telling yourself that you really want to quit, that you want to improve and leave this addictive behavior behind... but there's part of you that really doesn't believe that. This might seem strange or even dangerous to consider, but in today's podcast episode we explore why this idea can hold the key to the breakthrough you've been looking for. Ideas explored in this episode: 00:00 Stuck in the Relapse Cycle 01:34 A Not on Parts Work 02:28 The Reasonable Addict 04:37 Time to Stop Fooling Yourself 06:42 The SHTF Moment 10:04 How to Change Before Hitting Rock Bottom 12:21 Porn Use & Desire 14:53 How Awareness Helped Me Heal 17:28 Your Turn to Try Subscribe to the podcast & leave a voice message here: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/qbh How to quit porn, the crash course: https://youtu.be/ttNE0Fd9PoI Get my 21 day step-by-step program for overcoming porn addiction: https://quitbyhealing.com/links/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/qbh/message

Join my Discord community & get the QuitByHealing Program here: https://quitbyhealing.com/links/ Addiction is a tricky problem, but what if the cause of it doesn't have to be complicated? What if there was a single, unifying source behind all addictive behaviors? And what if once you understand this, there's also a single, practical path to unwinding addiction? I believe this is true, it's just that the source is a bit hard to see. Especially in the context of our culture and double especially if you're a man... Topics we visit in this episode: - Why addiction is always a coping mechanism - How to understand the link between emotional pain and addictive behavior - The crucial difference between how to deal with emotional vs. physical pain - What we can learn from grief and a healthy grieving process - How all of this relates to p*rn addiction - How to turn this insight into a practical solution --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/qbh/message

Join the QuitByHealing Program to overcome p*rn addiction in just 21 days: https://quitbyhealing.com/links/ Why is it so hard to shake bad habits and addictive behaviors? And on the other hand, it's also hard to create GOOD habits? Seems unfair. In this podcast episode, we explore the key obstacle: invisible consequences. You'll understand why you struggle with behavior change and you'll learn a simple and practical tool you can use to mitigate the problem of invisible consequences. In today's episode, we look at the concept of Invisible Consequences, why they make habit change so difficult and 2 practical things you can do to overcome this problem. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/qbh/message

Join the Discord community & access my free courses: https://discord.gg/GuacgrT6Qp Leave a voice message: https://anchor.fm/qbh Today, we're answering a question sent in by a listener about PIED, porn induced erectile dysfunction. Also known as: not being able to stay hard during sex because you've desensitized yourself with pornography. The bad news is this: while porn can and often does cause ED, eliminating porn from your life is sometimes not enough to solve the problem. The good news is: you CAN solve this problem and in this episode, you'll learn exactly how. The even better news is: as a side effect of the method I teach here, you'll end up having much better sex than ever before! 00:00 Intro & Question 01:36 The Simple Solution Doesn't Work 03:02 How Porn Causes ED 06:22 Lifestyle Factors & ED 07:50 Psychological ED 11:56 How to Solve Psychological ED 12:08 Method 1: How to Stop Worrying 15:09 Method 2: Learn to Tease 20:47 How to Gain Confidence 23:07 Conclusion How to quit porn without relapsing: https://youtu.be/lQgquJeV6Vk How to heal the root causes of your porn addiction: https://youtu.be/6kLDX56sUzs --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/qbh/message

Join the Discord community & access my Introspective Writing tutorials: https://discord.gg/GuacgrT6Qp Why is there so much confusion on this topic? Some people claim that pornography is completely harmless and everyone has the right to get off on whatever they want. Other people claim porn is the worst thing ever, will lead to the demise of humanity... oh and by the way, if you quit, you get superpowers! It can be confusing and frustrating for anyone trying to navigate this space and figuring out what is best for themselves. The main reason for all this confusion is that most people don't realize that A) porn addiction exists and B) there are levels to it. Once you understand what these levels are, you also understand why people disagree so much and why different kinds of advice will either work or not work for different kinds of people. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/qbh/message

Join the Discord & get support from the whole community: https://discord.gg/GuacgrT6Qp One of the most fundamental and powerful tools to quit porn addiction (or any addiction, really) is to create a plan for how to deal with urges. Because let's face it: when you quit, it won't just be smooth sailing. You WILL experience the urge to relapse. You WILL get triggered. And if you don't have a plan in place that you made in advance of that happening, your chances of success are low. In this episode, we're looking at exactly what you need to do to formulate your own "if-then plan" and make sure you can deal with whatever urges hit you. Subscribe to the podcast and leave a voice message here: https://anchor.com/qbh Chapters: ======= 00:00 Intro 00:42 Why You Need a Plan 02:08 Breathwork 06:14 The Embodiment Method 07:04 Environment Change 07:43 Burpees 09:58 Introspective Writing 10:58 How to Implement Your Plan --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/qbh/message

Join the Discord community to get help in quitting porn: https://discord.gg/GuacgrT6Qp You're in a relationship and you have an unhealthy habit of using pornography? It's perhaps already caused some issues for your with your partner, maybe also in the bedroom... and you're ready to quit porn. What do you need to know about how to best quit porn while you're in a relationship with your girlfriend or wife? What's different for partnered guys, compared to single guys? This question was asked by some guys in the community, so here's my comprehensive guide. Note: all of this is coming from the perspective of a man (the porn addict/quitter) who is in a hetero, monogamous relationship with a woman. Many of these same ideas will apply to other relationship configurations as well, but the hetero one is the only one where I can talk from my own experience. Topics in this episode: 00:00 Intro 02:26 No more sex? 04:00 How porn affects your love life 06:36 The recovery phase 12:20 Communication(!) 13:30 What if you can't talk to your partner 17:23 How to communicate with your partner 19:14 The flatline 21:13 Improve your love life 26:46 Your true desires 32:00 The timeline 33:57 A stronger relationship As mentioned in the episode, I don't cover every strategy and tactic here, only the differences between single and coupled guys trying to quit. If you aren't familiar with the QuitByHealing method yet, these videos are a good starting point: - 2 things you must know to quit porn: https://youtu.be/sVCbBgS1Pe8 - How to quit porn, the crash course: https://youtu.be/ttNE0Fd9PoI - The best and worst replacement habits: https://youtu.be/p6Qi8KrFOfE - Why porn is a hyperstimulus and what that does to your brain: https://youtu.be/jRYhSKF_qZU - How to go through the healing process: https://youtu.be/6kLDX56sUzs --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/qbh/message

Join the Discord community: https://discord.gg/GuacgrT6Qp In this episode, you'll discover the 3 distinct stages you go through as your quit your porn addiction and rebuild better habits and a better life. Why 3 stages? Because what works in one doesn't necessarily work in the others. So without a framework like this, you could end up feeling stuck even though you seemingly do everything right. We'll also discuss the importance of being aware of your intention and how you can catch your "addict self" before you fall into a full relapse. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/qbh/message

Join the Discord community & delete your porn addiction for good: https://discord.gg/GuacgrT6Qp Today, we're looking at a problem that includes pornography addiction, but also goes FAR beyond it. Let's talk about how everyone's addicted to "dopamine dispensers" and what this is doing to our mood, mental health & motivation. We even get into some dating advice, in this episode. Do you know someone who's like Joey from this episode! Make sure to share this with them, you could save them a whole lot of pain and trouble. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/qbh/message

Join the Discord community: https://discord.gg/GuacgrT6Qp . What is the PERFECT way to overcome porn addiction and heal your brain to reverse all the negative effects the addiction has on your life? If you ask this question in a NoFap community, you'll probably hear about "hard mode" and "monk mode". In this episode, I explain why these protocols don't go far enough and this is where Spartan Mode comes in. We'll run through the steps in this protocol. Don't mistake this for a random list of "do this" and "don't do that" - the protocol is carefully designed to put you into the optimal state for healing. To learn more details about all the steps in Spartan Mode, check out this video on my YouTube channel (https://youtu.be/XIJs36sHZo0). . What we cover in this episode is twofold: we look at the "perfect", optimal protocol for quitting porn. But we also look at the reasons why "perfect" is sometimes not the right choice. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/qbh/message

Join the QuitByHealing Discord community: https://discord.gg/GuacgrT6Qp Today, we're taking a closer look at the HEALING part of QuitByHealing. You'll discover what a huge difference it makes to include this in your process (yes, you can quit porn WITHOUT healing - but I don't recommend it) and I lay out the basic tools you need to start this healing process for yourself. If you are on the journey of kicking your porn habit and you want to gain a deeper understanding of this key aspect of addiction recovery, this episode is for you! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/qbh/message

Join the QuitByHealing Discord community: https://discord.gg/GuacgrT6Qp What is the most important skill you can learn to improve your life? In this episode, you'll discover why it is the exact skill you need to learn to overcome porn addiction: self regulation. By the end of the episode, you'll understand why the world we live in is the way it is. Why so many people are suffering and struggling. And you'll see - maybe for the first time - how it relates to the giant industries that are behind all of it. Because of the way the world is right now, because of the power of the attention economy, there's no more valuable skill to learn than that of self regulation. He who controls how he gets his dopamine, wins at life. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/qbh/message

Most guys who attempt to kick their habit of watching porn try, manage for a few days and then relapse. Sadly, this cycle repeats many times over and many give up entirely. But it doesn't have to be like that! In this episode, I provide you with a complete action plan - a step by step system that gives you a fighting chance to beat this addiction. Listen in to discover why awareness is the most powerful tool at your disposal, how to address your triggers so that you have fewer urges to fight, why pen & paper are your best friends and the surprising way in which getting into some really, really cold water helps with overcoming bad habits! Join my Discord to get help from me directly: https://discord.gg/GuacgrT6Qp --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/qbh/message

Today, we're answering all the questions about porn vs. masturbating WITHOUT porn. Is masturbation by itself harmful? Or is the real problem pornography? Also, are there health benefits, or health drawbacks to masturbating? If you want to fully understand why many people in the NoFap community are stuck in an endless cycle of trying to quit, relapse and binge and why my recommendations are different from what you usually find, this is the episode for you. Join my Discord community to get porn free the easy way: https://discord.gg/GuacgrT6Qp Source of the study referenced in the episode: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27871956/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/qbh/message

Pornography affects men in many ways. One of the less talked about things is sexual maturity. A lack of sexual maturity is at the same time a cause and an effect of porn use. And for guys who want to truly HEAL their porn addiction and not just cope with it for the rest of their lives, this is a really important area of life to address. In this episode, we dive into WHY most men are sexually immature, what exactly that means, how it connects to your porn consumption and why maturing is a key component of healing. Join my Discord community to get help from me directly: https://discord.gg/GuacgrT6Qp --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/qbh/message

In my content about overcoming porn addiction, there are always 2 camps of people duking it out in the comments section. There's the deniers who believe porn isn't harmful and doing nofap won't improve your life. And there's the believers who already acknowledge the harmful effects and advocate for being porn free. In this episode, I share a message that will probably upset people on BOTH sides. But it's an important message. It explains why some deniers say they tried to quit and it didn't improve anything in their lives. And it explains why even some dedicated nofappers are actually wasting the opportunity in front of them. Join the Discord to get my help and quit porn for good: https://discord.gg/GuacgrT6Qp See my content on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChfZvCuX59fndVSKcsn87_Q --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/qbh/message