Going Thru It

One of us may be growing a baby but both of us are still figuring out how to grow around grief. In this episode, we catch up on Jill's third trimester—including her very on-brand babymoon in Hawaii—and talk about what it's like preparing for new life while still carrying the absence of our brother Adam, something Holly didn't have to navigate during her own pregnancy.We also touch on the Knicks' brief but incredibly long overdue playoff run (recorded in the blissful window before they lost), how siblings shape your whole identity, and why joy and grief seem to be on a shared custody schedule. Come for the baby updates, stay for the real talk.Connect with US on Instagram Peter Bretter trying to Forget Sarah Marshall In case you missed it, Mike White on Survivor: Season 37 

Drop your buffs—it's time for an episode decades in the making. This week, we're joined by Bianca Maria Asumpte Immaculate Roses (yes, that's her full legal name, and no, it did not fit on her high school diploma). She's Jill's best friend of nearly 30 years, a major PR pro, and now… a freshly torched contestant from Season 48 of Survivor. In this week's episode, we talk all things Fiji, sleep deprivation, and what it's like to have to leave the island while the game is still being played. Whether you're a fan of the premiere reality series or not, this conversation has it all. Beyond the game, this episode is a celebration of chosen family, shared Survivor obsessions, and the Roses-Shakoor bond—one that Adam cherished deeply. The tribe may have spoken… but now it's Bianca's turn.Connect with Bianca on Insta Catch up on CBS' Survivor Connect with Holly in InstaConnect with Jill on Insta 

We were lucky enough to connect with someone who has truly shaped the grief space: Rebecca Soffer, author, community builder, and cofounder of Modern Loss. In this episode, we talk about how Rebecca turned her personal tragedy of losing both of her parents in her early 30s into a movement that normalizes grief in all its messy, complicated glory.From her days producing The Colbert Report to creating one of Substack's top newsletters on mental health, Rebecca has been using her voice to remind us that grief isn't something to “get over”—it's something we live with, grow through, and even connect around. We get into resilience (the real kind, not the Pinterest-quote kind), the myths we wish people would stop repeating (“everything happens for a reason” can take a seat), and how to hold space for both the pain and the absurdity of loss.Whether you're deep in it or supporting someone who is, this one's for you.Going Thru it Connect with Rebecca on Instagram Modern Loss Subscribe to Modern Loss on Substack Modern Loss Handbook   

It's a big week! The Knicks are in the playoffs, we're celebrating one year of Going Thru It, and most importantly, we're honoring our brother Adam on what would have been his 42nd birthday. While one of us is raising a (strong) Orange Jameson in his honor, the other is… not drinking at all, because — BREAKING NEWS — Jill is pregnant!With life comes death, and with death comes rebirth. Through it all, there's nothing but love. Join us as we keep going through it - together⁠Going Thru It 

In this episode we catch up on all the chaos and comfort from the past few weeks—birthday bashes, LA adventures, and a whirlwind one-night trip to Vegas. The good news is there is some great culture happening right now to help get us thru it all. With Siblings Day upon us we get real about what this time of year brings up for us. The rush of memories, the weight of time passing since losing Adam, and the healing magic of a good playlist. Whether you're deep in grief or just here for some pop culture recs, this episode has a little bit of everything.wearegoingthruit.com  

When it comes to having a baby, we all know someone who has gone thru it—IVF, IUI, surrogacy, egg and sperm donors, adoption. Parenthood looks different for everyone, and for our guests, Carrie Gordon and Phil Halpert, the road was anything but easy. They've faced loss, uncertainty, and grief at every turn—but their story is one of resilience, love, and ultimately, hope. This episode is for anyone who's been on a similar path or simply needs a reminder that light can be found, even in the darkest moments.Connect with Carrie G and Phil on InstagramA true disruptor in IVF with an innovative outlook on fertility, Dr. Hade and Generation NextTHE baby whisperer, acupuncturist Christina Burns Dr. Jonathan ScherGrowing Generations: Surrogacy and Egg Donations 

Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month is here, and it sparks the question: why are SO many young people getting cancer?! TIME Magazine's recent cover story dives deep into this growing crisis, and so do we.....well, in our own way. In this week's episode we try to unpack what is causing this change in trend by breaking down the science, sharing personal stories and talking risk factors and red flags. Join us for an honest and definitely necessary conversation. TIME Magazine by Jamie Ducharme Colorectal Cancer Alliance 

In this week's episode, we sit down with author, mother, and fellow podcaster Jessica Fein, whose journey through loss and resilience is deeply meaningful and helpful for anyone going thru it. Jessica has endured the heartbreaking losses of her mother, father, two sisters, and her 17-year-old daughter, Dalia—each shaping her understanding of grief, love, and the strength it takes to keep moving forward.Her memoir, Breathtaking: A Memoir of Family, Dreams, and Broken Genes, offers a deeply moving look at life with Dalia, who passed away from MERRF syndrome, and explores the depths of loss and resilience. Featured in The New York Times, Newsweek, The Boston Globe, and HuffPost, Jessica's work sheds light on the power of storytelling and the beauty that can coexist with griefDespite experiencing unimaginable loss, Jessica walks through the world with all the grace and has made it her mission in finding purpose in pain and connection in sharing her story. We are honored to have connected with her and it's our privilege to be able to  share her wisdom, strength, and perspective with this conversation.Bottom line, even in loss, love endures. About Jessica FeinI Don't Know How You Do It Podcast Breath Taking: A Memoir of Family, Dreams and Broken Dreams What exactly is MERRF Syndrome? Connect with Jessica on Insta 

We've always called this time of year the 'dark ages,' and honestly, reality is proving us right—so we're leaning in. In this week's episode, we welcome Jill back and catch up on all things 2025. From cities burning to shake-ups in the White House to the never-ending seasonal illnesses (seriously, why won't they leave?), we cover it all.Sounds a little bleak? Maybe… but as always, we find reasons to be grateful—like our mom, who got to really flex her 'mom' muscles this month. (Thanks, Mom!) Plus, we've got some breaking-but-not-really-breaking news: Friend of the family and the pod, Bianca Roses, is competing on Survivor 48! We can't wait to watch her outwit, outplay, and outlast.So join us as we navigate the darkness of winter—and, as always, find the light.Bianca Roses Pre-Season SURVIVOR Interview Meet the Cast of SURVIVOR 48  

Collective grief is the shared experience of loss or change that impacts a group, community, or even an entire nation. It can be sparked by war, natural disasters, or the passing of a public figure. One month after the devastating Los Angeles fires, the grief remains, even as the city begins to rebuild.In this episode, Holly sits down with her friend and fellow New Yorker-turned-Angeleno, Micki Marseglia, to reflect on both collective and personal grief. Micki, the longtime head of talent relations at Jimmy Kimmel Live!, has been with the show since its inception over 20 years ago. She's also Jimmy's cousin and one of three daughters of the beloved Uncle Frank Potenza and Concetta Aunt Chippy Potenza.With Jill out sick, Micki was the perfect person to explore the emotions that come with loss in the wake of disaster. Together, she and Holly discuss the weight of grief, the resilience it demands, and the importance of trusting the journey—even in times of uncertainty. Listen as they reconnect over their love for New York and Los Angeles, share memories of their own losses, and remind each other that even in darkness, there is always light to be found.Jimmy Kimmel Live on instagram Perhaps the greatest video of Micki to ever exist FIRE RELIEF: Shelter Partnership American Red Cross LA Food Bank LAFD Foundation Altadena Rotary Club  

We recorded this episode on Sunday, January 5th. Three days after Jill's 34th birthday and two days before so many lives were forever changed with the devastating fires in Los Angeles, a place we both call, or have called, home. We're thinking of the amazing LA community and all those affected by the ongoing fires during this devastating time. Our heart goes out to this city we love so much. And while we know the world could use a laugh right now, we invite you to join us in rewinding to a simpler moment—a time when the only things we mourned were memories of Christmases past. In this week's episode, we catch up after spending the holidays apart on different continents and celebrate Jill's 34th birthday. Is having a birthday during the holidays fun, or does it actually suck? And do the holidays ever get easier? We don't have all the answers, but with open hearts, we remain hopeful and grateful for all that is.

In the words of the great Cosmo Kramer, "Festivus is for those who want to escape the stress of traditional holiday cheer and embrace the absurdity of life." We seem to have really leaned into that notion. Drones, anyone? In this week's episode, we catch up with each other as the clock inches closer to Christmas—and, well, we're still not that psyched. Holly's tree is officially dead, and Jill can't seem to find the holiday spirit anywhere in LA.But what we do have is each other, and the shared memories of Christmases past, when we were a party of three. While we know Christmas will never be the same, we still have hope and trust in all the ways we continue to hear from Adam, and that gives us so much to believe in. Whether you're in the holiday spirit or want to avoid it at all costs, there's something for everyone in this week's episode. We hope you enjoy it! So, on that note: Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukkah! Happy Kwanzaa! And most of all, Happy FestivusConnect with Holly on InstaConnect with Jill on InstaConnect with We Are Going Thru It on Insta Gianna the Magician MY OLD ASS on Prime Video Jamie Foxx: What Happened Was NYT Review 

The holiday season is upon is, and our inner Depressica Simpson is in full force. We know this is supposed to be a joyous time, but honestly, we are just NOT feeling it. Join us this week as we reflect on our recent Thanksgiving holiday and navigate the challenges of coping without our better third, Adam. We also reminisce on past holiday memories, including, but not limited to, losing fake IDs at Dave & Busters, Jaeger shots (because, #Jersey), and the scam that is buying a Christmas tree. We may not be feeling festive this year, but at least we have each other to get thru it. Connect with Holly on InstaConnect with Jill on Insta  

Happy Thanksgiving! Thanksgiving can be tough for families for a multitude of reasons. But Thanksgiving off the heels of an election can be an entirely different story. And if you come from a politically divided family, like we do, it's not always that easy to navigate. No one understands unconditional family love during divided times better than the Laub family. We sat down with famed artist and creative storyteller, Gillian Laub to discuss what it's like to be part of a family whose political values may not necessarily align. In 2021, Gillian published her third monograph FAMILY MATTERS which, through photos taken over a 20 year period of time, illustrate the dichotomy between the political divide her family experienced during the 2016 election but also the everlasting love and compassion that trumps all. We wish we had this book back then but being that we're all back in this same-ish place, we're glad we have it now. Learn More about Gillian Laub Follow Gillian on Instagram FAMILY MATTERS by Gillian Laub Live2Tell  

A widower has lost a spouse, an orphan has lost their parents, but what do you call someone who has lost a sibling? Oh, right — there's no word for that. This week, we have the pleasure of connecting with cultural researcher, writer and storyteller Annie Sklaver Orenstein, author of Always A Sibling. After Annie's brother Ben was tragically killed by a suicide bomber in Afghanistan, she found herself in the grief section of her local bookstore, searching for guidance on how to navigate the pain of losing a sibling — but found nothing. In a quest for understanding, Annie spent over a decade researching and talking with thousands of people around the world, exploring the unique bond between siblings and the deep sorrow that comes with losing one. Through recounting memories of her brother Ben and the insights learned from her research, Annie has crafted an incredible story that illuminates sibling love and loss. About Annie Sklaver OrensteinConnect With Annie on Instagram Always A SiblingRemembering Ben

They say the influences of a great teacher can never be erased. And with that, we're honored to share with you the wit, wisdom and super soul vibe that is Marcia Meade aka The Chocolate Princess. A classically trained ballet and contemporary dancer and truly one of Brooklyn's finest, Marcia has made it her mission to bring Pilates to the people. As a certified instructor and life coach, she has the unique ability to teach smart and effective technique that goes beyond the mat and seamlessly creeps into daily life. She's been the source of transformation for so many bodies and minds alike (Holly can attest first hand) and honestly, she's just funny as f*ck. Take a listen and enjoy Marcia's musings on life, love and her connections to the other side.More about Marcia 

It's been two years to the week that Adam received his cancer diagnosis that changed the course of his life forever. Listen as we catch up and reflect on what that time was like for all of us.  Speaking of siblings, we'd be remiss not to discuss the recent flux of siblings on television lately. And surprise! Holly is heading to Abu Dhabi with her dad for a pilgrimage to the Middle East. Let's hope he likes the food. 

Spiritual goddess, intuitive healer, expert in mediumship, traveler extraordinaire, creative director and photographer, these are just a few hats our guest Taryn Weitzman wears. Also helming from Wayne, NJ, and later finding her way to Los Angeles, Taryn has been divinely connected to us since her and Holly met in middle school in the early 90's. We were lucky enough to catch up with an old friend and hear about the magic she has encountered and embraced since “coming out of the spiritual closet” and her experience losing her mom in 2020. We may need a glossary after his chat because Taryn is a true wealth of knowledge in all things that transcend the human experience, and we can't wait to share just a small part of her story and magic with you all. More on Taryn Weitzman Elba Iris Weitzman 1954- 2020 

How does one spend the one-year anniversary of their brother's passing? We didn't know either, but we got thru it. From negotiating with a crypt keeper to over-indulging in cheap wine, we reflect on the ways we spent this September 11th honoring Adam. It wasn't conventional, but it filled with love and an immense amount of gratitude. Join us as we recount a day that may have been messy and unpredictable, but ultimately was a special day where we celebrated our brother. E&V Restorante: "Italian Cuisine At It's Best Since 1967" The Garland HotelConnect with Jill on InstaConnect with Holly on Insta 

It's been one year since Adam took his last breath on September 11th, 2023. Join us this week for an intimate and raw conversation with our dad, Jack Shakoor, aka "The Pop". It isn't easy for a father to look back and reflect on his role as a dad, and we are so grateful for the honesty and authenticity that came out of this conversation. Real talk, it may be the most we've gotten out of him our whole lives. We hope you enjoy, and we can guarantee you will take a lesson or two away from this. Jack Shakoor on YELPAdam John Shakoor 1983 - 2023  

How do you say grief in French? Le chagrin of course. This week, Holly joins Jill from her family's trip to France and the sisters connect over le chagrin they are each experiencing with summer coming to an end and the looming, anticipatory chagrin as they get even closer to the one year anniversary of Adam's passing. Being so far apart, they are reminded of their own family trip to Paris back in 2001. Join Holly and Jill in a vulnerable conversation as they reminisce, say goodbye to summer and discuss the importance of everyone ordering their own appetizer at a dinner and NEVER, EVER tying up a table at a restaurant on a Saturday night.Going Thru It on instagram Connect with Holly on instagram Connect with Jill on instagram Everything you need to know about Amiens, France 

As the one year anniversary of Adam's passing approaches, Holly and Jill look back at some of the different ways they tried to show up for Adam – even if they ultimately ended up at net-zero. They also reflect on their conversation with Jakki & Kasey, talk Era's, and even compare themselves to Henry Hill peak breakdown. Some may liken this to Breaking Bad's famed bottle episode “Fly” – minimal action, but necessary to tell the full story. 

“Not everything that can be faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it's faced.” - James Baldwin Holly + Jill have talked a lot about their transformative work with Well Soul and in this episode, they sit down with the founders of the Well Soul community, Kasey Crown and Jakki Leonardini to reflect on what this past year has meant to them.  With their individual backgrounds and work in interpersonal neurobiology, integrative and spiritual psychology, and energy medicine, Kasey and Jakki have created psycho-educational and experiential workshops focused on bridging the scientific and spiritual together in order to optimize individual and communal health. The goal at  Well Soul is to provide information and tools in order to connect people with who they truly are in an effort to repair, nurture and enhance connections to ones self (in the brain and in the body) and connections with others (relationships to each other in the natural and spiritual worlds). Basically, they teach you how to be your best self for everything and everyone in your life. Listen in on a special conversation that hopefully leaves you feeling hopeful, empowered and maybe even a little more curious.  Well Soul Workshops To learn more about Kasey Crown + Jakki Leonardini 

No guests? No problem. August is here and the end of summer is near. In this week's episode, Holly and Jill reflect on this time last year, which was also their last month with their brother Adam. 

To quote Real Housewives of NJ star Caroline Manzo, "Life is about change, sometimes you just have to roll with the punches." This week Holly and Jill are joined by their friend Dave Daly to talk about family lineage, traditions and changes, their shared love of summertime out east and their most recent 4th of July bender. And yes, they'll weigh in on the song of summer, the Eras tour and RHONJ comes up too, because...duh. Southold Bay Oysters! SBO on Instagram  

More about Jeffrey Zaslow The Magic Room: A Story About the Love We Wish for our Daughers by Jeffrey Zaslow The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch and with Jeffrey Zaslow Ted Talk with Jeffrey Zaslow: Finding Empowerment in Life Transitions More about Alexandra Zaslow

Marlon Wayans GOOD GRIEF on Prime Video. Marlon Wayans on Instagram Sloane Crosley's GRIEF IS FOR PEOPLE. NPR's Ayesha Rascoe talks to Sloane Crosley about her memoir. Holly Shakoor Fleischer on Instagram Jill Shakoor on Instagram   

Yes, she was named the "Most Influential Hairstylist in the World" by The New York Times. Yes, she founded, launched and created an incredibly successful business with her hair care brands (yes, that's plural as in more than one) Ouai and Mane. Yes, she wrote a dope autobiography that Holly and Jill swear by called BLOWING MY WAY TO THE TOP. And yes, she's also Going Thru It. Take a listen as Holly and Jill sit down with legendary artist and entrepreneur, Jen Atkin for a meaningful conversation about where the roads in life can take you.

This week, Holly and Jill are joined by their friend and celebrity stylist, Caroline Dejean. In an intimate conversation about loss, they share their respectively healing journey's and remember the legend that is Caroline's mom, Miss Liz. And since the summer is upon us, the question begs to be answered.....what will be the song of summer????

Before there was Cousin Greg, there was Cousin Jeff. He's the oldest of our generation of Shakoor's and also the funniest. We do recommend having tissues nearby because you will be crying from laughing, but you may also shed a tear or two from hearing Cousin Jeff reflect on some of his best memories with Adam. This episode is a special one for us and we hope you all enjoy getting the know the legend that is Cousin Jeff.

Join us for a true SLEUNIGHT! We recorded a little episode the night of Adam's birthday and ended up just talking a ton about the legend who is our dad, Jack Shakoor. We hope you enjoy it. I mean, who doesn't love listening to two sisters as they get progressively drunker on orange jameson??

With each "first" milestone since Adam's passing, Holly and Jill are finding their own ways to get thru every major without having their brother physically around. Join Holly and Jill in this week's episode as they recount how they each celebrated Adam's 41st birthday last month and hear how they threw him an epic 40th birthday rager last year. Spoiler alert - even with moments of sadness, there were plenty of laughs, more shots of orange Jameson than ever necessary and even a celebrity cameo or two.

While some may call it crazy, those who know may think it's on brand, being that they were both born into a family of superstitious gamblers, but Holly and Jill love to talk about the signs they notice. Join them in this week's episode as they recap their recent trips and share all the ways Adam showed up.

Get to know one of Montclair, NJ's finest... intuitive healer and magical creatrix Connie Viglietti. Through her energy work, Connie has gotten to know both Holly and Jill and has been a part of their respective healing journeys for the past two years. She's taught them both the power of ritual and intention and was the most perfect first guest! Listen as she discusses what being a Priestess actually means and the beauty of being in the room where life (and death) happens.

For better or worse, holidays are all about family, so you notice when there's a newly empty seat at your Thanksgiving dinner. In this week's episode, join Holly and Jill as they recap the Shakoor family's first big “thing” since Adam's passing. Thanksgiving in Mexico. Spoiler alert: They got thru it.

This recording took place in November 2023.

We are Going Thru It, a weekly conversation between two sisters learning to navigate their own grief after the recent loss of their brother, Adam, who died of stage IV colorectal cancer. Born 11 years apart and currently living on opposite ends of the country, Holly and Jill Shakoor remain each other's best friend and confidant. Like a cathartic conversation with your best friend, or for some, an actual therapy session, Going Thru It will serve as a platform for human connection, exploring the many layers of loss and love. So come along on this journey with two honest, sharp, semi soulful and empathetically entertaining sisters as they process collective family grief in real time.