The How-To Heretic

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Your user's guide to life on the outside. Leaving religion is the first step into a larger, better world. But it can also be a scary world. Things work differently now. Never fear: that's why we’re here! We're your audio uncles, and with help from good friends and experts in all sorts of fields, we're going to share the stories and seek the knowledge we all need for building a great life! After all, you only get one (that we know of), so you'd better make the most of it!

Mark, Dan, and Doug


    • May 5, 2021 LATEST EPISODE
    • weekly NEW EPISODES
    • 1h 15m AVG DURATION
    • 189 EPISODES


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    Latest episodes from The How-To Heretic

    Gimme a Break - 189

    Play Episode Listen Later May 5, 2021 67:25

    This week! Uncle Mark thinks we need to take a long, hard look at Medusa, Uncle Doug tells us about the most hopeless Pope with Clement VII, and we break the news about a much-needed break.

    20/20 Revision - 188

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 28, 2021 81:12

    This week! Uncle Mark can't see too good with the Urim and Thummim, Uncle Doug chooses to slow rather than fast with Ramadan, and Uncle Dan cracks all things chiropractic. 

    Burnt by the Sun - 187

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 21, 2021 96:06

    This week, Mark asks you to wear eye protection with the Miracle of Fatima, Uncle Dan spills the beans on the secrets of the Rosicrucians, and Uncle Doug loses all meaning (or does he?) with Kabbala. 

    Dr. Death - 186

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 14, 2021 75:29

    This week! Uncle Mark rolls snake-eyes with Pascal's Wager, Uncle Doug gets into a fishy mystery with the Jesus Fish, and Dr. Terri Daniel joins us to talk about grieving and death from a non-religious perspective. To find the Amazing Dr. Terri Daniel and explore her work and services, check out her website:  https://spiritualityandgrief.com/

    Triangle Talk - 185

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 7, 2021 92:04

    This week! Uncle Mark bends belief with spoon bending, Uncle Doug warns against the wrath of the Bermuda Triangle and professor Jim returns to help us understand the theories behind conspiracies. 

    Nate Phelps - 184

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 31, 2021 92:22

    This week! Uncle Doug runs wild and lives to regret it with Rumspringa, Uncle Dan tries to explain Easter and fails, and Nate Phelps joins us to talk about waking from his nightmare.

    The Third Corey - 183

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 24, 2021 97:40

    This week! Uncle Mark finds 9 is too many with The Order of 9 Angles, Uncle Dan finds the accidental good guy in the Book of Mormon with Korihor, and Uncle Doug wants you to tell your friends the COVID vaccine is right for them.

    Snake Saint - 182

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 17, 2021 74:40

    This week! Uncle Mark wants the loot from the young Earth creationists, Uncle Doug reviews Murder Among the Mormons and Uncle Dan hopes you enjoy St. Patrick's Day responsibly (and a little more honestly).

    Bridgertime - 181

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 10, 2021 85:57

    This week! Uncle Mark finds a route to the White House with Manly P. Hall, Uncle Dan thinks you're ignoring the 2nd Commandment with political idolatry, and Uncle Doug introduces us to the man who stopped the Mormons with Jim Bridger.

    666 - 180

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 3, 2021 71:24

    This Week! Uncle Mark disturbs your slumber with sleep paralysis, Uncle Doug spins the night away with the Sufis, and Uncle Dan has the wrong number with 666!

    No Rush - 179

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 24, 2021 87:15

    This week! Uncle Mark gazes into the past to find someone that could not see the future, Uncle Dan sends your Valentine a drunk naked bouquet, and Uncle Doug thinks the dead deserve to be remembered for who they were in life.

    Goa Way - 178

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 17, 2021 72:50

    This week! Uncle Doug tells us the sad story of a very lonely island with Makemake, Uncle Dan takes us Christian shopping, and Uncle Mark sets sad sail to the Goa Inquisition.

    Flat Wrong - 177

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 10, 2021 92:52

    This week! Uncle Mark asks "what's in the box?" with Orgone Energy, Uncle Dan puts 3rd Nephi out of our misery, and Uncle Doug makes us all want to jump off the edge of the flat Earth!

    3 Days of Night - 176

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 3, 2021 82:18

    This week! Uncle Dan gives us the damage report with 3rd Nephi part 2, Uncle Mark wonders how many atoms your gold has with the Anunnaki, and Uncle Doug ruins a perfectly good time with Project Blitz. 

    Gimme Some Skin - 175

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 27, 2021 81:56

    This week! Uncle Dan makes the Book of Mormon seem kinda dumb with 3rd Nephi part 1, Uncle Mark thinks the story of Saint Bartholomew the Apostle should be rated R, and Uncle Doug does a Q with no A with Heretics in the news!

    Queen of Heaven - 174

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 20, 2021 74:10

    This week! Uncle Mark traces some insurrectionist DNA back to the Mormon Council of 50, Uncle Doug stinks up the place with Moxibustion, and Uncle Dan introduces us to Mrs. God with the Queen of Heaven!

    Mom, is that you? - 173

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 13, 2021 93:01

    This week! Uncle Mark says ass a lot with Balaam's Ass, Uncle Dan talks about your mom with Heavenly Mother, and Uncle Doug challenges us to find common cause in uncommon times!

    Super Duper Spreader - 172

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 6, 2021 67:41

    This week! Uncle Mark explores maybe too much alien life with Panspermia, Uncle Dan concludes that church music might be a bad thing, and Uncle Doug shows us bloody mercy by concluding the Book of Joshua!

    UFOH? - 171

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 30, 2020 92:26

    This week! Uncle Mark spins off into silly space with UFO cults, Uncle Dan gazes into your eyes for cult recruitment, and Uncle lets loose torrents of blood with Joshua part 1.

    Choose the Right - 170

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 23, 2020 82:01

    This week! Uncle Dan continues his exploration of spirituality and the brain with chemical enhancements, Uncle Doug gets his wings with It's a Wonderful Life, and Uncle Mark thinks Mormonism might have a serious problem on its right. 

    Superdope - 169

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 16, 2020 80:27

    This week! Uncle Doug examines a marginal Mormon menace with Superdell Schanze, Uncle Mark marvels over miracles and machetes with St. Peter of Verona and Uncle Dan discusses profound spiritual experiences and Temporal Lobe Epilepsy. 

    Three Unwise Men - 168

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 9, 2020 83:15

    This week! Uncle Dan wonders about the point of 3 weird dudes with the Magi, Uncle Doug "Discovers" something some people have known about for thousands of years, and we discuss the horror of the BYU "conversion therapy" program (CONTENT WARNING!)

    #NoThanks - 167

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 2, 2020 77:32

    This week, Uncle Mark leads police to a body of bullshit with psychic detectives, Uncle Dan introduces us to the Aristocracy of Hell, and Uncle Doug finds yet another religious leader offering less than nothing for what ails us.

    Evil Problems - 166

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 25, 2020 80:18

    This week! Uncle Mark introduces us to a liar for laughs with Mike Warnke, Uncle Doug wonders if Evil is a problem with theodicy, and Uncle Dan asks our friend Eli Bosnick about our dumb brains. 

    The Ends of the World - 165

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 18, 2020 77:59

    This week! Uncle Mark lists the apocalypses that weren't, Uncle Dan tries to take your money with NLP, and Uncle Doug examines a life without meaning in Ecclesiastes. 

    The Big Factory - 164

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 11, 2020 78:33

    This week! Special guest Audio-Auntie Lauren O'Neal joins us to blab about the beasts of the Bible, Uncle Dan shows us that knowing nothing has a long tradition in America, and Mitch Shira joins us to give some horrible old men what they richly deserve! Find our special Guest Auntie Lauren O'Neal on Twitter @laureneoneal and you can pick a copy of the excellent anthology Empty the Pews that she coedited with our friend @C_Stroop and why not submit an essay of your own for their second here: emptythepews2@gmail.com Find the very talented Mitch Shira on TikTok @genie_man

    Uncle Frank! - 163

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 4, 2020 92:39

    This week! Uncle Mark shows us the inky horrors of Jack Chick, special guest Uncle Frank talks about teen suicide issues in Utah, and Uncle Dan ponders whether to kid or not to kid! 

    The Pain of Purity - 162

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 28, 2020 80:31

    This week! Uncle Doug takes a much-needed break, Uncle Dan fulminates on the foundations of faith, and we're joined by purity culture expert Linda Kay Klein!

    Strangers with Candy - 161

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 21, 2020 90:03

    This week! Uncle Mark says we should chill out about the Halloween Candy Panic, Uncle Dan introduces us to the OG witch Ursula Soothtell, and Uncle Doug wants more atheists in office!

    Spooky Bible - 160

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 14, 2020 75:31

    This week! Uncle Doug tries to describe Biblically accurate angels and fails, Uncle Mark puts you to sleep in the twinkling of an eye with Mormon Conference culture, and Uncle Dan scares the children by reading directly from the Bible!

    Jay's Journal - 159

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 7, 2020 81:09

    This week! Uncle Mark reports on yet another work of Mormon fiction posing as something else with Jay's Journal, Uncle Doug dusts off Mormon Bolshevism with the United Order and Uncle Dan freaks us out with the People of Praise!

    We're doin' it Live(ish)!! - 158

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 30, 2020 78:26

    This week we celebrate 3 wasted years of our podcast with a live Zoom audience of global Heretics, play a game, look in the mirror and take questions!

    Wicked Weather - 157

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 23, 2020 75:50

    This week! Uncle Mark questions Pat Roberston's skills as a weatherman, Uncle Dan copies a copy of a copy with St. Dominic, and Uncle Doug needs a handyman to help him fox his broken shelf!

    Heavenly Kingdom - 156

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 16, 2020 76:50

    This week! Uncle Mark argues for easier standardized testing with the Taiping Heavenly Kingdom, Uncle Doug fails to make gold with Alchemy, and relationship consultant Tanya Jarvik joins us to talk about upping the ante!

    Abraham vs. Abraham - 155

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 9, 2020 91:54

    This week! Uncle Mark thinks Isaac should have pressed charges, Uncle Dan meets a man in Iran, and Uncle Doug tells an Abrahamic tale even worse than the original with the Book of Abraham.

    Do-si-don't! - 154

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 2, 2020 73:34

    This week! Uncle Mark shows us how to dance in a swastika, Uncle Doug is merciful with the shortest book in the Bible, Philemon, and our own secret agent man Greg Rogers joins us to get real about human trafficking. 

    Mowing Devil - 153

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 26, 2020 76:44

    This week! Uncle Doug circles the drain with crop circles, Uncle Dan introduces us the Eric and Don Jr. of the Bible with David's shitty kids, and Uncle Mark thinks maybe there should be some limits.

    Empty the Pews! - 152

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 19, 2020 101:36

    This week! Uncle Doug introduces us to one badass lady with Ishtar, Uncle Dan brings some belief relief and Chrissy Stroop and Lauren O'Neal Join to discuss their book, Empty the Pews!

    Mea Culpa - 151

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 12, 2020 76:21

    This week! Uncle Mark has one hell of an insect problem with Beelzebub, Uncle Doug finally gets it right by admitting his wrongs, and Uncle Dan admits he's powerless with AA.

    Ley Loons - 150

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 5, 2020 90:59

    This week! Uncle Dan draws some suspicious lines, Uncle Mark examines the Lamanite Placement Program and Uncle Doug takes us on a 3-hour tour of the Middle East with Acts part II.

    So Many Simons - 149

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 29, 2020 91:25

    This week! Uncle Mark goes looking for the Huldufolk, Uncle Dan opens the big book of nothing with the Akashic Record and Uncle Doug regales us with all the inactive action in the Book of Acts!

    Nazi Land - 148

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 22, 2020 92:05

    This week! Uncle Mark takes to where white people come from with Hyperborea, Uncle Doug wraps up anther stupid week with Heretics in the News, and Uncle Dan shakes out the welcome matt for the newly liberated!

    Witness Me! - 147

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 15, 2020 74:14

    This week! Uncle Mark thinks your feet are too big with Ho No Hana Sanpogyo, Uncle Dan needs to know if you're pointy, moist, and mobile with Ayurveda and Uncle Doug rides eternal, shiny and chrome!

    Jell-o Submarine - 146

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 8, 2020 90:00

    This week! Uncle Mark takes us under the sea with the story of Jared's brother, Uncle Doug explains the poison of the Power of Positive Thinking, and Uncle Dan encourages us to be nice!

    The Hunchback of Vietnam - 145

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 1, 2020 67:13

    This week Uncle Mark takes us to sunny Vietnam to meet Coa Dai, Uncle Dan knocks over Saint Junipero and Uncle Doug tells us everything is not alright with the Alawites.

    War Church - 144

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 24, 2020 84:19

    This week! Uncle Doug introduces us to some religious loonies with a dildo problem with Cliven Bundy, Uncle Mark blesses all the bombs with the Main Cathedral of the Russian Armed Forces and Uncle Dan talks about a woman with an actual name in the Bible, Ruth.

    Brigham's Bust - 143

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 17, 2020 89:12

    This week! Uncle Dan surprises us with Mormon murders we'd never heard of, Uncle Doug uses math to clown Lord Xenu and Uncle Mark ponders the limitations of statues.

    Cheeseburger Bible - 142

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 10, 2020 86:45

    This week! Uncle Doug wonders what Trump thought he was holding up, Uncle Dan gives us an intro to Shinto, and we interview a couple of guys on an extended bicycle tour for Jesus! https://cesletter.org

    The Friend - 141

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 3, 2020 75:36

    This week! Uncle Mark introduces us to the fascinating Public Universal Friend, Uncle Dan gives us a saint then takes her away with St. Wilgefortis, and Uncle Doug reads to us from the CES Letter.

    Spying for the Lord - 140

    Play Episode Listen Later May 27, 2020 89:23

    This week! Uncle Doug takes a truthful look at the much-maligned practice of Vodou, Uncle Dan goes crazy with the Mark of the Beast, and Uncle Mark conspires with Bryce Blankenagel of the Naked Mormonism podcast about the Strengthening Church Members Committee.  You can catch Bryce and his miles-deep dive into Mormon history at  https://nakedmormonismpodcast.com/

    Out with the Old... - 139

    Play Episode Listen Later May 20, 2020 66:38

    This week! Uncle Mark lights one up for Loudun's most eligible bachelor with Urbain Grandier, Uncle Doug tells us about a cult that imploded without a body count with NXIVM, and Uncle Dan wants to pull off history's most necessary editing job if he can!

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