Quick Hits

Rick Alcantara started this conversation off by saying he doesn't think this is a valid question because they aren't mutually exclusive. He believes you can be both naïve and cynical at the same time. Further into the conversation he mentioned the word “rational” that could be a middle ground.   Laura Agafitei brought in the idea of healthy skepticism. For her that means being open to learning why someone believes what they do and then analyzing those reasons in light of her own biases and beliefs. The bottom line for her was not trusting everything you see, but also give the benefit of doubt.   Stewart Wiggins wondered when in our lives we start to become cynical. Children aren't cynical by nature. What causes us to become bitter (my word) as we get older?   For me cynicism is bitter, almost angry. Whereas, being naïve is not having any knowledge or life experience and I wasn't sure if I agreed with Rick's idea that you could be both and asked him to say more about it.   In listening back to this conversation, I decided to look at the definition of naïve. From Dictionary(dot)com: “having or showing a lack of experience, judgment, or information”    Based on just that definition, Rick's concept works.   Do you think cynicism and naïveté are opposites? Can you be both? What does it look like to have healthy skepticism instead?   Connect with the panelists: Laura Agafitei: https://www.linkedin.com/in/laura-agafitei/ Strategy and design Consultant for the health and wellness industry. Based in Dublin.   Stewart Wiggins: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stewart-wiggins/ Induna Advisors – where he offers Fractional Chief Operating Officer services and Brings resources together to help scale your business.   Rick Alcantara: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rickalcantara/   He does public relations, digital marketing and crisis communication at Rick Alcantara consulting   Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in business psychology with a concentration in high performance. I provide customized, confidential, high-performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of Quick Hits in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com  

Brandon Mahoney started this conversation off by saying he uses this as a tactic to end a conflict. It allows him to feel like the better person for being willing to walk away and perhaps sacrifice to make the other person happy.   Chelle Shapiro agreed. She will intentionally take herself out of a conversation to keep it from escalating; particularly if the other person is really not interesting in hearing what she has to say.   Philip Tate commended Brandon and Chelle for being self-aware enough to recognize when they are choosing to not demand their needs be met. Further commenting that many times people subvert what they need without even realizing they are doing it.   I agreed that there are times when it's not a huge deal and you can just say, “Never mind, that I need isn't important.” But it can become a recurring habit to avoiding conflict. I wondered how do you realize, “I don't want to fight with you AND my needs aren't being met.”   I also asked this panel how they deal with situations where maybe they let something go for too long and now they are saying, “Hey this is no longer okay.” But the person they are talking to is so used to getting their way, they get angry when you set a boundary.   Watch to the end where I shared a story that recently happened in my life where I had to make some tough choices.   How do you notice when you bury your needs? Is it always a problem and what do you do about it?   Connect with the panelists: Chelle Shapiro: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chelleshapiro/ Marketing Strategist for Wellness Coaches & Consultants and recognized as one of the top 15 LinkedIn experts in New York city as well as the author of the book, Loving Yourself isn't Selfish.   Brandon Mahoney: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drstartup/ Co-Founder of Launch Point Labs, National venture firm where he is the expert in creating sales departments. He is known as Dr Startup and based on the west coast of the US.   Philip Tate: https://www.linkedin.com/in/philiptateaprfellowprsa/ He is a communications consultant doing Brand Building | Strategic Communications and Marketing based in Charlotte NC   Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in business psychology with a concentration in high performance. I provide customized, confidential, high-performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of Quick Hits in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com  

Elissa Hecker started this conversation by saying, yes. Some bad bosses do know and they don't care. And on the other side, there are bad bosses who don't realize they are bad. They could be insecure, overcompensating, or want to be everyone's friend.   Pascal Derrien thinks that some bad bosses are in denial. They may have become a boss as social posturing, for status reasons, and don't really care if they are a good boss or not. Pascal says people like that aren't managers, they are damagers.   He can also see the other side where a bad boss has good intent but doesn't have the experience, training or baseline to be a good boss.   James Lee believes that for someone to be a really bad boss they have to not care that they are bad. He also brought in the reality that drugs and alcohol can be a major problem with bad bosses (Side note – I worked in the banking industry in the nineties and cocktail lunches were a real thing for “leaders.”)   I followed up with the question about what a “bad boss” actually looks like. We even talked about whether the “Covid break” has made some bosses worse because they feel like they are losing control.   At about the mid-point of the conversation we had a difference of opinion, some panelists thought if you are a bad person at work, you are likely a bad person at home and vice versa. Others disagreed and said that people can have from different work personalities.   Jim wondered if we really need as much middle management as most organizations have now.   This conversation could have gone a lot of different directions and we touched on a lot of things.   What do you think, do bad bosses know they are bad or are they clueless?   Connect with the panelists: James Lee: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jleeadvisor/ He is a financial futurist at StratFI. He has 30 years' experience in the financial word and is the author of the book, Foresight Investing:  A Complete Guide to Finding Your Next Great Trade    Elissa D. Hecker: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elissa-d-hecker-48467711/ She is the Go-To General Counsel, Collaborative Partner, and Creative Problem Solver, for businesses and the Entertainment and Arts industries   Pascal Derrien: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pascalderrien/ CEO of the nonprofit Migraine Ireland and an avid athlete   Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in business psychology with a concentration in high performance. I provide customized, confidential, high-performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of Quick Hits in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com  

Catarina von Maydell started us off by talking about environments that normalize “toughness” with sayings like, “If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen.” Plus blaming and shaming – If you can't handle it, that is your fault.   Rick Alcantara agreed adding that there can be a mentality of just grin and bear it because people don't feel like they have an opportunity to go somewhere else.   Stewart Wiggins suggested there might be a generational component. That the younger generation is less likely to tolerate toxic work environments than they predecessors. Those in their twenties and early thirties will just pick and leave for another job. He also believes there is some complacency. “If it doesn't harm me, it's not a toxic work environment.”   Other reasons people might stay: Afraid the next place they go will be worse. Golden handcuffs – being paid so much that they can't find another job at similar pay.   This is the book Catarina mentioned: What Men Don't Tell Women About Business: Opening Up the Heavily Guarded Alpha Male Playbook https://www.amazon.com/What-Dont-Women-About-Business/dp/0470145080/ref=sr_1_1   Do you think people who stay in toxic environments are to blame for their own situation because they stay in it?   Is there an option between, be quiet and keep your head down and quitting?   Connect with the panelists: Rick Alcantara: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rickalcantara/   He does public relations, digital marketing and crisis communication at Rick Alcantara consulting   Catarina von Maydell: https://www.linkedin.com/in/catarinavonmaydell/ She helps business leaders build disruptive business models and define key leverage points to create powerful change and impact using a process of systemic, organizational, and human evolution. If you want different, lead different.   Stewart Wiggins: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stewart-wiggins/ Induna Advisors – where he offers Fractional Chief Operating Officer services and Brings resources together to help scale your business.   Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide customized, confidential, high-performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of Quick Hits in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com  

Todd Karges started this conversation off with a yes. And adding that it is even more important for leaders to create an environment where innovation and creativity can thrive. That means allowing space for learning, outside the box thinking and failure.   Jennifer Watson talked about a survey that showed what employees want and need is psychological safety. The ability to screw something up and know their boss has their back and they will be welcome in the group. She also believes that it is important for a leader to be able to pull in the right people to allow that kind of environment to flourish.   Dr Mohan Ananda is confident that it is the founder or CEO's responsibility to set the example. Which includes believing in growth, being willing to take calculated risks and providing support and resources. For him the answer is not only yes, it is an absolute must.   I wondered how much autonomy an individual leader has to create this and how much of it is determined by the overall culture of the whole organization. And further into the conversation I asked how a leader can provide guidance without squelching ideas.   Listen in to what this experienced panel had to say on the subject and then we would love to hear from you.   Do you agree that creating space for innovation and creativity is the leader's responsibility or do the employees also need to come to the table ready to create?   Connect with the panelists: Jennifer Watson: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennifer-watson-6b08b9121/ She a keynote speaker and coach helping leaders heal and accelerate their influence by optimizing Vitality, High-Frequency Leadership and Transformational Communication   Todd Karges: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toddkarges/ Has a background in project management and building agile development mindsets.  He is a transformation and change management practitioner and a leadership development coach. Based outside of Toronto.   Dr. Mohan Ananda: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mohanananda/ Scientist, lawyer, serial entrepreneur, and author of the book, Autobiography of an Immigrant. Which has been translated into multiple languages. He is passionate about helping people succeed in business   Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide customized, confidential, high-performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com  

When I was little my dad used to say, “You want fair? Go to Turlock in August.” That's when and where the county fair was held each year. That was his way of saying life wasn't fair and that was too bad.   Dr Bob Choat started our conversation off by talking about culture and how, depending on where you are and what biases you have, fair might be seen differently.   For Lisa Howard two words came to mind first, balanced and impartial. She then went on to add, moral, ethical, free of bias and favoritism. She believes a situation has to be looked at holistically to determine if it is fair.   Brett Knopf agreed, adding there is a subjectivity to it. He considered the question from a negotiation standpoint. In that case, fairness is both parties walking away satisfied.   I believe there is an element of expectation when it comes to fairness. In the conversation I shared a funny story of my sister explaining to her four-year-old why it was “fair” for them to split a chocolate bar one third to the toddler and two-thirds to my sister. Fair doesn't always mean equal.   Another little antidote from my childhood – If I was splitting something with a sibling my mom would always have one of us cut it and the other one got to choose their half first. You have never seen such careful halving of something as me cutting something knowing my sibling would choose the larger half.   What do you think it means for something to be fair? Is fairness a thing in the adult world?   Connect with the panelists: Lisa Howard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lhoward2/ Is the Founder of the HR consulting company, People Core Strategies. She is a trusted Business Consultant and HR Advisor - Helping companies grow through effective people strategies.      Brett Knopf: https://www.linkedin.com/in/brett-knopf-5849b48/ He is a Performance Coach and Business Strategist with over two decades of experience. He empowers leaders and teams to create environments that focus on collaboration, transparency, self-accountability and personal development.   Dr. Bob Choat: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bobchoat/ He has eight years military experience, worked with the LA PD, he is now the founder of the Integrated Mind Institute and is going back to school for another PhD. This time in physics    Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com  

This panel has decades of combined experience running a host of different types of teams.   Kevin Wash started us off. His expertise is in sales for international property development. From his point of view, you can share the goal numbers and where the company is along the path to achieving that goal. It is a very clear metric and not overwhelming at all.   Brandon Mahoney went next. He is a master of sales as well but in the startup arena. He agrees with Kevin that the first thing you need is very clear company goals (side note – I would have assumed that was a given but it seems that is not always the case).   Dr Bob Choat has experience in too many industries to list here. He talked about using storytelling to help people be engaged in the company mission and goals. He also shared about the new app project he is working on and how the three individuals involved have had to shift from personal mission to joint mission.   When I worked in corporate, I never knew how what I did mattered to the company goals. I asked this panel if they thought that was every okay. They all shook their heads no. I asked them to explain what they thought that.   I then followed up by asking how much a front-line employee really needs to know. Kevin made an interesting point saying every employee needs to know the impact if they do a bad job.   Do you agree that everyone in an organization needs to know how they fit into the larger picture? Or does it not matter for people who are just coming in and doing their job? If it does matter, how much do they really need to know?   Connect with the panelists: Brandon Mahoney: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drstartup/ Co-Founder of Launch Point Labs, National venture firm where he is the expert in creating sales departments. He is known as Dr Startup and based on the west coast of the US.   Dr. Bob Choat: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bobchoat/ He has eight years military experience, worked with the LA PD , he is now the founder of the Integrated Mind Institute  and is going back to school for another PhD. This time in physics    Kevin Wash: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-wash-23b90915/ Coach, mentor, author, trainer, and speaker running a consultancy business specializing in sales for international property development. Based in Spain   Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com  

Bonnie Sussman-Versace started us off by saying she has looked at this topic a lot over the last few years and she thinks it is both and neither at the same time. Some people seem to get to a certain point in leadership development and get stuck. Other people just seem to be naturals at it.   Daisy Cedeño loves the humanity in this question. Science is about have a theory, structure and the evidence. Art appeals to the senses and our emotions. Doesn't that make leadership both? However, she leans towards it being an art.   Stewart Wiggins agreed that it is both and believes it builds on itself. You have to learn the science of leadership in order to make it into an art.   I think about it kinda like sports. Most people can go for a jog. Very few can be worldclass runners. The difference certainly includes hard work. And there has to be some innate ability to be really great. Could the same be true of leadership?   Do you think leadership is art (innate or talent) or is it science (learnable and teachable)?   Connect with the panelists: Daisy Cedeño MS:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/daisy-cede%C3%B1o-ms/ 20 years as a communications coach for the Latino market and a multimedia journalist for TV and radio stations on the east coach – based in FL   Bonnie Sussman-Versace: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bversace/ Re-imaginer at FOCUSED LLC. Where she specializes in developing leaders, building positive and productive workplace cultures, and improving individual, team and enterprise-wide performance   Stewart Wiggins: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stewart-wiggins/ Induna Advisors – where he offers Fractional Chief Operating Officer services and Brings resources together to help scale your business.   Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com  

Sara Oblak Speicher started us off by sharing that things she perceived as unjust, like an athletic coach being harder on her than her teammates, used to cause her to feel resentment.   For Bill Haase resentment is how he feels about making a bad decision and the cost associated with that decision.   Catarina von Maydell liked the idea of connecting resentment to the choices that we make and she took it a bit further, associating it with power and pointing out that the feeling of resentment is a signal that one of our boundaries has been crossed.   For me resentment is different from disappointment in a very clear way. Disappointment is, “that didn't work out.” Resentment is, “that SHOULD have worked out.”   Listen all the way through to hear how the panelists deal with feeling resentful.   What does resentment mean to you and what do you do when you are resentful?   Connect with the panelists: Sara Oblak Speicher, MBA: https://www.linkedin.com/in/saraospeicher/  Former international athlete, now a Life coach, and transformational expert   Catarina von Maydell: https://www.linkedin.com/in/catarinavonmaydell/ She helps business leaders build disruptive business models and define key leverage points to create powerful change and impact using a process of systemic, organizational, and human evolution. If you want different, lead different.   Bill Haase: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bill-haase-a506299/ Co-Founder/CEO MetaEd Partners. He is developing global virtual and live conferences to support the underprivileged and building programs in the US to help high school students understand how money works.   Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com  

Oh what fun this conversation was! By the end I felt so inspired.   James Lee started us off by sharing that he traveled internationally by himself for the first time recently, going to Dubai.   For Todd Karges his new thing was meditate.   Cole Galloway was up next and he told us that he made a decision a few years ago to do new things all the time. He orders something he's never had at restaurants. He wears clothes together that he never has. He tried acting for the first time a year ago.   He is on a mission to find new things to make sure he doesn't get into a rut. And he loves it.   He did say that doing new things all the time can make your friends and family a little bit bonkers.    What does it do to your life to do new things all the time? To purposefully seek them out? We asked Cole that. You'll have to listen to our conversation to hear his answer.   What new thing have you done recently? What did you learn or how did it change you?   Connect with the panelists: James Lee: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jleeadvisor/ He is a financial futurist at StratFI. He has 30 years' experience in the financial word and is the author of the book, Foresight Investing:  A Complete Guide to Finding Your Next Great Trade    Dr Cole Galloway: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cole-galloway-1ba715107/ Recovering academic working in social justice and disability, primarily with babies as the Founder at Go Baby Go   Todd Karges: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toddkarges/ Has a background in project management and building agile development mindsets.  He is a transformation and change management practitioner and a leadership development coach. Based outside of Toronto.   Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com  

The easy answer to this is “ask questions.” But about what? I'm pretty extroverted and can carry both sides of a conversation if I need to. But I wondered how other people keep a conversation flowing. Enter my wonderful panel:   First off, we learned that Kevin Wash has a game he plays (yes really!) to see how much he can learn about someone without telling them so much as his name. (Side note – I find the last thing people ask me is my name.)   His tip – start with an interesting question that even a stranger will answer and then follow up with a question related to their answer.   Inga Hebden agreed with asking a question and then listening to the answer with a caveat that some people give VERY short responses. Maybe they are shy or just not very comfortable. She then shared an example of trying to get to know someone who just didn't want to share. In the end she wondered if it was even worth the effort to try to get to know the person if they didn't want to be known.   Rick Alcantara added that in a business setting asking questions about what they are trying to accomplish and what their needs are is a good place to start. On the personal side some topics he suggested are the weather, sports, music, politics (if you are brave).   There is a downside to being really good at creating conversations – you get to the end of your scheduled time and you know all about them and they haven't learned anything about you. Fine if you're playing Kevin's game. Not so good if you are networking. (That happened to me today in fact.)   How do you keep a conversation going with a stranger without making it all about you? Connect with the panelists:   Inga Hebdon: https://www.linkedin.com/in/inga-hebdon/ Leadership & Personal Impact Coach helping people increase their impact, their ability to lead, their influence and act strategically.   Rick Alcantara: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rickalcantara/   He does public relations, digital marketing and crisis communication at Rick Alcantara consulting   Kevin Wash: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-wash-23b90915/ Coach, mentor, author, trainer, and speaker running a consultancy business specializing in sales for international property development. Based in Spain   Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com    

Joey Robert Parks started us off by saying he tries to keep an open mind and look for counter-arguments to his existing opinion.   Jim Tam came in next to say that it feels like someone is being lazy when they say “do your own research.” Or maybe they don't really know the answer. He believes it takes a very secure person to challenge their own biases and keep an open mind.   Lisa McDonald pointed out that actual scientific research is about looking for things that say your hypothesis is wrong. But the way it is generally used, people mean “do your own research” and you'll find things that support me.   My frustration with people who insult me with “do your own research” is that there is no data I can bring to the table that is disagreement with them that is “acceptable.” They want me to do my own research but only if I find information that agrees with their existing beliefs.    After we turned the recording off Jim made the point that there are really smart people who think differently than he does and he wonders, what do they know that I don't?   Have “do your own research” been tossed at you as an insult? How do you make sure you get a well-rounded look at a topic before you create your opinion?   Connect with the panelists: Joey Robert Parks: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joeyrobertparks/ He is a 32-book author and ghostwriter and The DaVinci of Writing. He can write in any style, genre, or topic, and make it sound natural, like he's been an expert in it for decades.   Jim Tam: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jimtam/ Is a Principal Client Director with Korn Ferry's Digital group where he advises organizations on how to improve their sales effectiveness using world-class sales methodology and technology.   Lisa McDonald: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisa-k-mcdonald-executive-career-coach/ Founder of Career Polish where she is an specializes in career management and executive presence.   Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com    

The conversations I'm posting yesterday and today were born out of the discussion: How should anger be expressed in the workplace? https://youtu.be/q8uPMUPGvgY   After we turned off the recording for that conversation the panel started talking about how hard it is to express anything in a dysfunctional workplace. We didn't all have time to record again right then so we came back together to create this conversation.   In this part of the conversation, I asked the panelists to share their stories.   Claire Schwartz started us off talking about her time in the fast paced and often toxic environment of the legal and financial world in New York. Her advice was to get (good) advice and support and connect yourself to other grounded people.   Laura Agafitei agreed with the idea of creating a community. She provided the toxic and abusive example of having worked as an admin. She was very open about why she stayed in that environment even though she had other options. She suggested finding others to help you validate that what is happening is toxic so you don't just accept it as “normal.”   Catarina von Maydell echoed what Laura said, adding that as hard as it is to hear, sometimes we have to recognize that we are complicit in allowing dysfunction in our lives because we have been taught to just “suck it up.” In her case she “loved” being in some of those dysfunctional, even abusive, environments because it was high powered, smart people and it was fun. But there was a lot of damage being done.   After sharing some of my own journey I added what I believe to be the best thing anyone can do for themselves: you have to stop choosing dysfunction   What tips do you have for functioning (keeping your sanity?) in a dysfunctional environment?   You can watch the first half of this conversation here: https://youtu.be/1JG80Gt1MU8   Connect with the panelists: Laura Agafitei: https://www.linkedin.com/in/laura-agafitei/ Strategy and design Consultant for the health and wellness industry. Based in Dublin.   Catarina von Maydell: https://www.linkedin.com/in/catarinavonmaydell/ She helps business leaders build disruptive business models and define key leverage points to create powerful change and impact using a process of systemic, organizational, and human evolution.   Claire Schwartz: https://www.linkedin.com/in/clairemschwartz/ She is a Grief Coach and Trauma Healing Expert. Demystifying and Destigmatizing Grief and Trauma healing. Working with Individuals, Organizations and Families.   Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com  

The conversations I'm posting today and tomorrow were born out of the discussion: How should anger be expressed in the workplace? https://youtu.be/q8uPMUPGvgY   After we turned off the recording for that conversation the panel started talking about how hard it is to express anything in a dysfunctional workplace. We didn't all have time to record again right then so we came back together to create this conversation.   Ten minutes wasn't enough so we ended up with parts one and two.   Catarina von Maydell started us of talking about how dysfunction is on the rise. We have to laugh just so we don't cry. How do we differentiate between palliative responses, which is just how do we deal with it in the moment, and then more systemic changes?   Laura Agafitei agreed and shared some of her story of being in a toxic work environment before going out on her own. Sometimes the hardest thing is to realize how toxic the situation is and that the level of distress (physical, emotional, mental) that you are carrying is in no way normal.   Claire Schwartz pointed out that what makes workplace dysfunction particularly challenging is that it is tied to your livelihood. Many people can't just up and quit their job because their boss is toxic. Even if, ideally, it would be better for them mentally to get a job in a healthier environment.   When we reached the 10-minute mark I felt like we had done a good job of defining the problem but I wasn't sure we had given solutions. Hence there is a part two that will be posted tomorrow.   Connect with the panelists: Laura Agafitei: https://www.linkedin.com/in/laura-agafitei/ Strategy and design Consultant for the health and wellness industry. Based in Dublin.   Catarina von Maydell: https://www.linkedin.com/in/catarinavonmaydell/ She helps business leaders build disruptive business models and define key leverage points to create powerful change and impact using a process of systemic, organizational, and human evolution.   Claire Schwartz: https://www.linkedin.com/in/clairemschwartz/ She is a Grief Coach and Trauma Healing Expert. Demystifying and Destigmatizing Grief and Trauma healing. Working with Individuals, Organizations and Families.   Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com  

Oh boy. Trying to please everyone all the time sounds exhausting to me. But Tim Hawkes was keen to have a go at this question because he believes that saying, “You can't please everyone” is a cop out to not have to bother trying to make a situation better or care about upsetting people.   Stewart Wiggins agreed to a point. He shared an example of giving $20 prizes and people complaining that they were given $20 bills instead of smaller bills.   Lynn Whitbeck disagreed. Looking at it from a business standpoint she said, “This is not about pleasing everyone. This is about pleasing who you serve.” She then added that personally, as a woman, she abhors people pleasing.   The conversation didn't end there. We went back and forth and worked on what it means to try to please everyone all the time. Is it about pleasing or treating with dignity?   Listen to the whole conversation before you pass judgement on it. I think it is actually surprising where we started and where we ended up.   Based on this conversation, do you agree with Tim's idea of trying to please everyone or do you land more with Lynn and being focused about who you try to please?   Connect with the panelists: Tim Hawkes: https://www.linkedin.com/in/timhawkes/ Managing Director of Unlimited Potential. Mental engineer and executive coach focusing on logical and practical solutions to challenging problems.  He is in the UK   Lynn Whitbeck: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lynnwhitbeck/ She is the Founder & CEO of Petite2Queen where she helps people Get More Clients and Uncover Hidden Profits using her Results Driven Sales Strategy System.   Stewart Wiggins: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stewart-wiggins/ Induna Advisors – where he offers Fractional Chief Operating Officer services and Brings resources together to help scale your business.   Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com

Well, this was not the conversation I expected to have on this topic. All three of my panelists they use “just kidding” in conversation.   In contrast, I find it inauthentic and rude.   Bonnie Versace shared that she uses it as “benign sarcasm.” She doesn't mean for it to be harmful or detrimental in any way.   Atif Agha agreed saying some people just think it's funny or they might be using it to say, “I didn't mean to say it, or it didn't come out right.”   Brandon Mahoney went further saying it is up to the recipient to understand the relationship well enough to realize if the person saying it meant to be hurtful or if they really are just teasing and joking.   After years of being told I was too thin skinned and I couldn't “take a joke” I finally realized it is not my responsibility to have thick enough skin to be okay for you to cut me and laugh while I bleed.   What do you think? Is “just kidding” an okay way to smooth over something off-putting you might have said or is it a cover up for being rude? Do you use it or do you really dislike it?   Connect with the panelists: Atif Agha: https://www.linkedin.com/in/atifagha/ Technology specialist doing data analytics and avid runner, based in Chicago   Bonnie Sussman-Versace: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bversace/ Re-imaginer at FOCUSED LLC. Where she specializes in developing leaders, building positive and productive workplace cultures, and improving individual, team and enterprise-wide performance   Brandon Mahoney: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drstartup/ Co-Founder of Launch Point Labs, National venture firm where he is the expert in creating sales departments. He is known as Dr Startup   Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com  

Dr Cole Galloway started us off by saying there is no absolute answer to this question. It depends on what the “end” is and it depends on what the “means” were. There are certainly times were winning the battle isn't worth the damage you caused to win it.   Joe Pici came in with a hard line in the sand. “The end never justifies the means. How you get there is more important than arriving.”   Fallon Siniscarco said it comes down to morals. She would rather work really hard and not get the outcome she hoped for than to cheat to get the end results she wanted.   Then I wondered why it's so clear when we sit in our little zoom boxes (which I stumbled over badly trying to say) that bad means aren't justified by a good end. But in the real world, it doesn't play out like that.   In the real world, the people who cheat often do win. We talked about that near the end of the conversation too.   What do you think? Does the end ever justify the means? And how do you handle it when you see people cheating their way to success while you struggle to do things fair and square?   Connect with the panelists: Joe Pici: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joepici/ He is a speaker, coach and strategist specializing in results driven sales training for top sales professionals   Dr Cole Galloway: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cole-galloway-1ba715107/ Recovering academic working in social justice and disability, primarily with babies as the Founder at Go Baby Go   Fallon Siniscarco: https://www.linkedin.com/in/fallon-siniscarco-889558267/ Student Utica university studying occupational therapy. She will be starting grad school in the fall to study the same.   Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com  

Pity is a strange emotion. Is it the same/similar to empathy? I didn't think so but one of the panelists suggested that maybe it is. Listen in and see if you agree or not.   Daniel Gramkee started us off by noting the difference between just pitying yourself verses having other people notice that you are.   Alexi Bracey noticed that when someone is feeling pity for you, they mean well but often come with unsolicited advice and information, which can make you feel worse rather than better.   Kevin Wash thinks that some people mix up pity and sympathy. He feels that sympathy is sincere concern. And pity is condescending, contemptuous, aggressive – patronizing (I agree with that last one).   What does it mean to pity someone (or have them pity you)? Is there any positive aspect to it? Why do you think it feels so awful?   Connect with the panelists: Kevin Wash: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-wash-23b90915/ Coach, mentor, author, trainer, and speaker running a consultancy business specializing in sales for international property development. Based in Spain   Alexi Bracey: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alexi-bracey-34935a7/ Mission Happiness. Promoting happiness for no reason. Bouncing back after cancer and dementia prevention specialist.   Daniel T Gramkee: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dtgramkee/ He is a photographic artist with a background in performance and coaching who will capture you at your competitive best   Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com  

When I asked, “Is it important to have friends at work?” (https://youtu.be/9egtuaT11y8)? This panel unanimously agreed that it is very important.   The question of what if you don't have friends at work followed so naturally that we had to get together again to discuss it.   Dave Roberts started us of by saying if you don't have friends at work, you can at least be friendly, collegial and cooperative. That could help you get a promotion or develop friendships.   Glady Baradaran thinks that leaders have a role in helping their employees develop friendships.   Todd Karges pointed out that there are benefits to an organization for its employees to be friends and in that case, he agrees that it should be intentional. But he also noted that he has worked with people who didn't have friends at work and that was because they weren't open to making friends.   All of that said, I have been in situations where my friendliness was taken advantage of and people just dumped their work on me.   Is it a big deal not to have friends at work? If someone doesn't, should they go out of their way to create them?   Connect with the panelists: Glady Baradaran: https://www.linkedin.com/in/glady-baradaran-6238071a/ 15 years of HR experience and a love for organizational development. Based in Canada.   Todd Karges: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toddkarges/ Has a background in project management and building agile development mindsets.  He is a transformation and change management practitioner and a leadership development coach. Based outside of Toronto.   Dave Roberts: https://www.linkedin.com/in/david-roberts-56690513/ Teacher, co-author of the book When the Psychology Professor Met the Minister and a bereavement support specialist   Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com  

Hindsight is 20/20. Monday morning quarterbacking. It's easy to look in the rear-view mirror and “know” things were going to turn out like they did.   I share a story during this conversation about doing something “stupid” and breaking something that was important to me. I was SO angry at myself because I know better.   Philip Tate started this conversation by saying you have to give yourself some grace and allow yourself to learn from your mistakes. Later in the conversation he brought up self-compassion.   Stewart Wiggins talked about Mike Tyson – you can do lots of planning but once the punches start flying it becomes a problem-solving exercise. It's not about how you look at it when it happens but how your respond to fix it.   Inga Hebdon added that trying to anticipate all possible problems before they happen can be a spiraling rabbit hole that gets you stuck doing nothing.   I feel like we danced around this topic more than answered. Grace. Learn from it. But letting go of being angry at yourself? I don't think we came up with a good answer.   How do you let go of a mistake you “should” have seen coming? Or maybe worse, did see coming (like the story I shared) and didn't stop it?   Connect with the panelists: Inga Hebdon: https://www.linkedin.com/in/inga-hebdon/ Leadership & Personal Impact Coach helping people increase their impact, their ability to lead, influence, and act strategically.   Stewart Wiggins: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stewart-wiggins/ Induna Advisors – where he offers Fractional Chief Operating Officer services and Brings resources together to help scale your business.   Philip Tate: https://www.linkedin.com/in/philiptateaprfellowprsa/ He is a communications consultant doing Brand Building | Strategic Communications and Marketing based in Charlotte NC   Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com  

Staying informed but not overwhelmed with negative news can be a challenge.   Ed Samuel started us off by saying he uses his faith to help him stay sane in a broken world.   Jim Tam thought that his career was going to be very global, living the ex-pat life, speaking multiple languages. And at first it was very cool working with people from all over the world and learning about their cultures. But then the realities of being awake in the morning to talk to South Africa and at night to connect with Singapore started to take a toll. Not to mention the atrocities that are happening all over the world.   Atif Agha brought up how connected we all are. And wondered about navigating the major changes we see in the world while still having an identity, having a purpose, having a meaning in life. We are living in a world that is very different from even the world our parents grew up in and it is only changing faster for the next generation.   I feel like if it's not something I can control or impact directly, I can't let it make me crazy every day.   What works for you? How do you keep your sanity when it feels like the whole world is a dumpster fire most of the time?   Connect with the panelists: Ed Samuel: https://www.linkedin.com/in/edsamuel/ Is a career coach at Sam Nova where he helps mid to senior leaders get to a better place, whether they are working or in transition.   Jim Tam: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jimtam/ Is a Principal Client Director with Korn Ferry's Digital group where he advises organizations on how to improve their sales effectiveness using world-class sales methodology and technology.   Atif Agha: https://www.linkedin.com/in/atifagha/ Technology specialist doing data analytics and avid runner, based in Chicago   Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com  

Before we turned on the recording, we talked about how to word the question. I wondered if we should make gender part of the equation. We talked about how anger can be used for power (Steve Jobs was known to cry to get his way).   In the end, we landed on how to express anger at work. This turned out to be part one of a three-part conversation.   Catarina von Maydell started us off at the beginning – where is the anger coming from and what is the context of the situation?   Claire Schwartz added that knowing the goal is important. You can't just expect to explode at work and for that to be acceptable. Yes, express your emotions. Also, yes you must have it under control.   Laura Agafitei brought in the cultural aspect, that in most cases anger is seen as a negative emotion and it is important not to escalate the situation.   How do you think anger should be expressed at work?   This is a panel of brilliant, powerhouse women. If you aren't connected with them, make that happen today. I am better for knowing each of them.   Connect with the panelists: Laura Agafitei: https://www.linkedin.com/in/laura-agafitei/ Strategy and design Consultant for the health and wellness industry. Based in Dublin.   Catarina von Maydell: https://www.linkedin.com/in/catarinavonmaydell/ She helps business leaders build disruptive business models and define key leverage points to create powerful change and impact using a process of systemic, organizational, and human evolution.   Claire Schwartz: https://www.linkedin.com/in/clairemschwartz/ She is a Grief Coach and Trauma Healing Expert. Demystifying and Destigmatizing Grief and Trauma healing. Working with Individuals, Organizations and Families.   Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com

Oof. This was a tough one. There was no way we were going to cover something this deep in ten minutes. But we gave it a good try.   Christopher Jerjian started us off by admitting this question stumped him. He thinks it must be about being worth in a specific area because you can't be worthy of everything.   Fallon Siniscarco said it depends on who is making the measurement. How gets to decide worthiness? If it is someone in authority over you, a teacher or a boss, they get to decide if you are “worthy” of a good grade or a raise. And you have to decide what you have to do to prove you are worthy if you think you are.   Bill Haase compared it to Boy Scouts. If you earn all the badges, you are worthy of being and Eagle Scout. He also agreed with Fallon that if you believe you are worthy, run with that.   I believe what determines worthiness depends on what you follow it with. Worthy of… of what? As a human you are worthy of happiness. Worthy of certain human rights. There are other things that you have to jump through hoops to be worthy of. Like Bill pointed out.   We then get into how different the perspective is for Fallon, just finishing college, and for the rest of us who are further along in your lives.   What do you think? What does it mean to be worthy?   Connect with the panelists: Fallon Siniscarco: https://www.linkedin.com/in/fallon-siniscarco-889558267/ Student Utica university studying occupational therapy. She will be going to grad school in the fall to study the same.   Christopher Jerjian: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chrisjerjian/   Commercial real estate for 40 years he focuses on creating spaces for small businesses   Bill Haase: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bill-haase-a506299/ Co-Founder/CEO MetaEd Partners. He is developing global virtual and live conferences to support the underprivileged and building programs in the US to help high school students understand how money works.   Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com    

I recently heard someone give this advice to a group of students, “You have to be able to lead yourself before you can expect to lead others.”   Everyone nodded along like it was sage advice. But I wondered, “what does that even mean and is it true?”   Lucky for me I have a platform designed to asked exactly those kinds of questions.   Kevin Wash answered the second half of the question first with a strong yes. He believes that being a leader requires leading by example. Anything else is hypocritical.   Kelle Jacob agreed saying she believes that leading yourself means having a vision. Too often people are running on autopilot and checking boxes rather than being clear about where they are going.   Michael Sicuranza came in with conceptual agreement – The best leaders do all the things Kevin and Kelle talked about. Then he pointed out that there are lots of examples of people who didn't practice what the preached and weren't very great people. And yet, they managed to maximize leadership, gotten people to follow them and created success both personally and professionally.   My experience working with high powered, successful people – On paper it looks like they are “leading themselves” but that often isn't what is actually going on.   What do you think? What does it mean to “lead yourself” and is it a prerequisite for leading others?   Connect with the panelists: Kevin Wash: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-wash-23b90915/ Coach, mentor, author, trainer, and speaker running a consultancy business specializing in sales for international property development. Based in Spain   Michael Sicuranza: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelsicuranza/ CEO of Affinity Wealth Management where they focus on helping small business and corporate executives make better choices with their money   Kelle Jacob: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kelle-jacob-0912a523/ She is a Master level Holistic Health, NLP, EFT, and Hypnotherapy Practitioner and the founder of ASRI Wellness, she helps high-performing professionals on the verge of burnout create better habits.   Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com  

It isn't a secret that the farther up the corporate ladder you go, the less diverse it becomes. I decided to ask three guys who have been at the top of their respective ladders about it.   Dr Cole Galloway, who works in social justice, started us off by talking about mission. If you are looking for leaders who will continue to propagate and manipulate and cultivate a top-down mission, you are going to have a hard time getting diversity at the top.   Dr Bob Choat agreed and then added that with startups, the mission comes from the founder. As they grow the culture gets stuck in ridged thinking. To get out of that they might need to bring in people from the outside.   Gary Fredericks really like the bottom-up approach. And pointed out that you can't legislate people or an organization accepting someone different from them. He believes it starts with teaching creativity and outside-the-box thinking.   About halfway through the conversation I picked up Dr Bob's point about culture. If we are hiring for “cultural fit” it is REALLY easy to hire people who are just like us because they are easy to talk to and connect with. I feel like that causes diversity to be squeezed out as we move up the ladder.   I asked the panel what they think can be done about that.   At the very end with no time to discuss it, I asked this: Are the people you want to be in leadership tomorrow, getting the skills to do that today?   What do you think?   Connect with the panelists: Dr. Bob Choat: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bobchoat/ He has eight years military experience, worked with the LA PD, he is now the founder of the Integrated Mind Institute and is going back to school for another PhD. This time in physics    Gary Fredericks: https://www.linkedin.com/in/garyfredericks/ CEO of On Point Partners where they provide back-office services for small businesses. They make business easy.   Dr Cole Galloway: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cole-galloway-1ba715107/ Recovering academic working in social justice and disability, primarily with babies as the Founder at Go Baby Go   Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com    

This question came from a real-life situation. Regardless of whether you are the one left out in the cold or the one asked to abandon the person you worked with to create the proposal; this is messy.   Karen Loomis started us off by sharing a story of her experience with this exact issue and that when it happened, she wondered what she would have done if she had been on the other side of it.   Rick Alcantara went next saying he believes it is conditional and that he has been on both sides of a situation like this. It really requires an understanding between you and the person doing the proposal so you both know where you stand if something like this comes up.   Bonnie Sussman-Versace agreed saying that anything you can do beforehand to preempt these types of issues is ideal. When she had this situation she and her partner went back to the client and explained that it really was a two-person project and asked for a trail period to work on it together.   What do you think is the ethical thing to do in a situation like that? What does having integrity look like?   Connect with the panelists: Rick Alcantara: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rickalcantara/   He does public relations, digital marketing and crisis communication at Rick Alcantara consulting   Bonnie Sussman-Versace: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bversace/ Re-imaginer at FOCUSED LLC. Where she specializes in developing leaders, building positive and productive workplace cultures, and improving individual, team and enterprise-wide performance   Karen Loomis: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kloomis/ Founder at No Moss Brands. 20 years as a marketing and branding professional. Adjunct professor at Grand Canyon University.  She is passionate about social change.       Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com    

This conversation did not go as I expected it to. I thought we would talk about how you decide when to give 100% and when to let something slide a little bit so you can put more effort into something else.   I am noticing now as I type this, that when I've had this conversation before (not on Quick Hits) it has been with women. Now I'm wondering if having more competing priorities makes a difference.   I can 100% tell you, there are things in my life I choose not to do perfectly – weed my flowerbeds. As long as they look good from the sidewalk, I'm (mostly) not going to worry about the little weeds only I can see when I'm actually in the bed.   But work stuff that is different.   Here is the summary of how the conversation started.   Pascal Derrien started us off by asking us to look at the other side. What if you are expected someone to do something to a high level and you get mediocrity instead? He believes if you are going to do something, do it really, really well or just don't do it.   Joey Robert Parks wondered no important benefits for who? And depending on expectations, it may or may not be a big deal not to do something perfectly.   Ed Samuel thought it depended on the situation. If you are in a time crunch or up against a deadline, you simply might not have the ability to do something to the highest level possible because you have to get it out the door. However, he like the other two will tend to err on the side of doing something of a high quality if at all possible.   Do you think there is ever a time when it is acceptable to do something at say 85% because it's good enough? Might there be a difference in the way men and women answer this question?   I might have to do an all-female panel and find out.   Connect with the panelists: Pascal Derrien: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pascalderrien/ CEO of the nonprofit Migraine Ireland and an avid athlete   Ed Samuel: https://www.linkedin.com/in/edsamuel/ Is a career coach at Sam Nova where he helps mid to senior leaders get to a better place, whether they are working or in transition.   Joey Robert Parks: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joeyrobertparks/ He is a 32-book author and ghostwriter and The Da Vinci of Writing. He can write in any style, genre, or topic, and make it sound natural, like he's been an expert in it for decades.   Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com    

Michael Davis started us off with the perfect framing: a cynic is negative ▪ and stays planted in his or her beliefs. A skeptic is a healthy optimist. It's a difference between being open minded and closed minded.   Stewart Wiggins agreed saying he thinks most of us are probably skeptics but that there are some people who always believe something bad is going to happen. That cynicism often leads to those bad things actually happening.   Gary Fredericks came in strong with the idea that being skeptical is a key ingredient to good leadership; having that ability to go through the checks and balances to make sure the facts are adding up. He also shared that he can be cynical – particularly about spinach (we disagree on that. I like spinach.)   I followed up by wondering if someone is being negative, if they are skeptical, are they are open to changing their mind but if they are cynical, is it a waste of time to even try to talk to them?   Toward the end I asked a more practical question: How do you notice if you're kind of sliding into that cynical space? And how do you pull yourself out of it?     Do you agree or disagree with Stewart's point at the end about marriage being helpful to keep you from being too cynical?   Connect with the panelists: Stewart Wiggins: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stewart-wiggins/ Induna Advisors – where he offers Fractional Chief Operating Officer services and Brings resources together to help scale your business.   Gary Fredericks: https://www.linkedin.com/in/garyfredericks/ CEO of On Point Partners where they provide back-office services for small businesses. They make business easy.   Michael Davis: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaeldavisspeakingcpr/ Founder of Speaking CPR where he helps business leaders and speakers improve their presentations and speeches   Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com

Jim Tam's first thought was, if you're on zoom, turn off your camera. It takes practice to keep a straight face and can be important in negotiation situations. He suggested preparing ahead of time to avoid being surprised because surprise might be the hardest tell to hide.   Stewart Wiggins shared an adage from his time in the military: “if you're smiling, you're not doing your job.” But that learned behavior didn't serve him when he got out of the military because people would misread his body language.   Catarina von Maydell built on what the other panelists said by saying one of the hardest things about a poker face is deciding when and if we should or should not use it because it can be damaging to relationships if we need to be building trust.   We shared a few stories and towards the end I asked the group how the learned when and how to use or not use a poker face.   Since most of communication has nothing to do with the words we say, this is a topic we would all do well to think about a little more than we do.   How do you keep a straight face when the emotion you feel is not what you want to share?   Connect with the panelists: Jim Tam: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jimtam/ Is a Principal Client Director with Korn Ferry's Digital group where he advises organizations on how to improve their sales effectiveness through using world-class sales methodology and technology.   Stewart Wiggins: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stewart-wiggins/ Induna Advisors – where he offers Fractional Chief Operating Officer services and Brings resources together to help scale your business.   Catarina von Maydell: https://www.linkedin.com/in/catarinavonmaydell/ She helps business leaders build disruptive business models and define key leverage points to create powerful change and impact using a process of systemic, organizational, and human evolution.   Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com  

Glady Baradaran started this conversation by say unequivocally yes. For her, having a best friend at work who she can send an eye roll emoji to during a meeting to feel the relief of having a shared experience is super important.   Dave Roberts agreed saying that having friends at work for the emotional support makes the day-to-day experience better. He also shared a personal story about how having friends at worked helped him get through the loss of his daughter.   Todd Karges brought in the idea of friends being able to provide and help create psychological safety that managers or the larger organization as a whole just can't offer. Which might be a flaw in the organizational structure that employees have to figure out how to make that happen on their own with each other.   I followed up with the question, are friends at work different from friends outside of work. You'll have to tune into our conversation for their answers.   Do you think that having a friend at work is important?   This panel enjoyed their time together so much they asked me to schedule them together again to answer the question, what if you don't have friends at work?   Look for that conversation in the coming days.   (Apologies for Glady's scratchy mic. She was able to get it sorted ahead of our next conversation.)   Connect with the panelists: Glady Baradaran: https://www.linkedin.com/in/glady-baradaran-6238071a/ 15 years of HR experience and a love for organizational development. Based in Canada.   Todd Karges: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toddkarges/ Has a background in project management and building agile development mindsets.  He is a transformation and change management practitioner and a leadership development coach. Based outside of Toronto.   Dave Roberts: https://www.linkedin.com/in/david-roberts-56690513/ Teacher, co-author of the book When the Psychology Professor Met the Minister and a bereavement support specialist   Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com  

We covered some things I WISH I had known when I first started working. It would have saved me a lot of stress.   Brandon Mahoney's opening volley was that you should assume you are there as the expert. They hired you because they need someone to do something. Exactly what that something is might be up to you to define because you bring knowledge and skills the organization didn't have before.   Dr. Rhonda Bompensa-Zimmerman added that you have to bring curiosity, particularly if you are brought into a situation of change or flux. Talk to your coworkers. Try to understand the culture and how the organization functions. Recognize that you don't know what you don't know and might not even know what to ask.   Joe Pici agreed with being curious, adding that he doesn't do anything without understanding scope. He is going to come in with a lot of questions about the project, the role, how success will be measured, results, timelines. Once he has that, his expertise and knowledge can shine and he can be creative about how he gets things done.   There have certainly been times in my life where the role I was filling was not clear and then I was told I was not performing – performing to what metric? What were they measuring? (I wish I would have asked rather than just accepting their opinion).   What has worked for you when responsibilities aren't clear? What have you done that has worked or not worked?   Connect with the panelists: Dr. Rhonda Bompensa-Zimmerman: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-rhonda-bompensa-zimmerman-138aa3b/ She is the Substance Use Response Coordinator at the Maricopa County Department of Public Health and she runs marathons   Brandon Mahoney: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drstartup/ Co-Founder of Launch Point Labs, National venture firm where he is the expert in creating sales departments. He is known as Dr Startup   Joe Pici: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joepici/ He is a speaker, coach and strategist specializing in results driven sales training for top sales professionals   Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com    

This was a deep and insightful conversation with three guys who innately have an interest in how we interact as humans. We covered a lot in ten minutes and I would love to hear your (the viewer/listener) thoughts and responses.   Stewart Wiggins started this conversation by posing a different question: why are there so many bad leaders out there or bad managers?   Is the reason there are so many bad leaders because leadership training is trying to teach emotional intelligence and it's not something you can learn? Maybe you can learn the behaviors that align with emotional intelligence but going through those motions doesn't mean you have become emotionally intelligent.   George Rotsch believes we are thinking about emotional intelligence wrong. He compared it to math skills. Some people are really good a math. Other people aren't as good; it doesn't come easily to them. They can learn math. They can get better at it than they might be naturally but they are never going to be as good at math as someone for whom it just makes sense.   George believes the same is true of emotional intelligence. If you aren't good at it, you can get better but it unlikely to ever come naturally to you. He put it succinctly: “We can teach it. We should respect it as a gift.”   Justin Dorsey agrees saying there is a cynic in his brain that says, “If you don't get it, you don't get it.” And he has seen that in trying to teach EQ from an HR stand point. The people who need it the most never think they are they ones who need it.   What do you think? Can EQ be taught/learned or is it a pipe dream?   Connect with the panelists: Justin Dorsey: https://www.linkedin.com/in/justin-dorsey-sphr/ Background in corporate HR as well as in consulting. He has a Passion for People.   Stewart Wiggins: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stewart-wiggins/ Induna Advisors – where he offers Fractional Chief Operating Officer services and Brings resources together to help scale your business.   George Rotsch: https://www.linkedin.com/in/georgerotsch/ He is the director of communications for Delaware Live and a Communication consultant with clients across the country   Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com    

Rick Alcantara started us off by sharing the multitude of ways he has been able to network virtually – associations, boards, Chamber of Commerce, chatting with friends and even doing Quick Hits is on the list.   Jim Tam reminded us that your network is your net-worth; which makes networking and staying in touch invaluable. To his point, if you are driving in your car, don't waste that time listening to the radio. Make a call and have a conversation with someone to stay in touch.   Catherine Fitzgerald is self-professed to be compulsive about adding contacts to her phone along with notes about where they met and who they are. She also does a lot of introductions to help other people to connect.   That said, it is very easy to fill your calendar with meetings that you could call “networking” but have no actual value for you or the other person. One and done, you'll never remember each other meetings are pointless.   I also tell a funny story at the end about the first time I asked Russ (my husband) to have coffee with me.   How do you stay in touch with people in the virtual world?   Connect with the panelists: Catherine Fitzgerald: https://www.linkedin.com/in/catherine-a-fitzgerald/ Is a writer, speaker, certified coach, and founder of Brass Tacks with Heart-executive coaching.  She helps founders, owners, and C-Suite Executives and their teams to build businesses that fuel their lives, not consume them.   Rick Alcantara: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rickalcantara/   He does public relations, digital marketing and crisis communication at Rick Alcantara consulting   Jim Tam: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jimtam/ Is a Principal Client Director with Korn Ferry's Digital group where he advises organizations on how to improve their sales effectiveness through using world-class sales methodology and technology.   Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com  

This is a conversation that needs to be had more often because I don't think enough people understand how to use a calendar link without coming off as rude.   Steve Ramona started us off by saying you have to have a relationship first. Don't just throw your link at people and expect them to book time with you.   Janice Dru-Bennett agreed and added that it depends on the relationship you have with the person. A good friend is likely to be put off if you send them your booking link.   She also brought up the great point of cancellations. If she uses your link to schedule and you cancel, it's on you to reschedule. And if both send each other their link, who is it on to schedule?   Kevin Wash is old school. He doesn't have a link and he doesn't use them to schedule. If he can't talk to the person he needs to meet with, or at least their assistant, there isn't much point in setting up a meeting.   I would rather use someone else's link because I don't like random meetings all over my calendar. I want like meeting bunched together. And I think it is ridiculous when I go to schedule with someone and they have one slot six weeks from now.    Connect with the panelists: Steve Ramona: https://www.linkedin.com/in/steveramona/ Global Sales Director at InPhone, a podcast coach and the host of the podcast, Doing Business with a Servant's Heart. He is in California.   Kevin Wash: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-wash-23b90915/ Coach, mentor, author, trainer, and speaker running a consultancy business specializing in sales for international property development. Based in Spain   Janice Dru-Bennett: https://www.linkedin.com/in/janicedru/ Building strategic partnerships for a health tech company and also an entrepreneur helping nonprofits and start-ups grow.   Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com  

Karen Loomis started us off with what that saying means at first blush – go as hard as you can and do all of the things. Hard driving, fast moving. All of it all of the time. Grab all the opportunities. But what if there aren't opportunities to grab?   She added further into the conversation that it means letting go of your to-do list and doing the thing that is now or never.   Yonason Goldson said he used to be the kind of person who said no and then thought about the question. Then he realized he was missing out on things so he switched to saying yes and then thinking about it. That wasn't the best option either. The ideal is somewhere in the middle.   Stewart Wiggins said he used to follow the “go forward as fast as you can, as hard as you can” idea of seizing the day. But now he has a more measured approach. Sometimes seizing the day means putting your feet up and letting the world happen around you.   I agree with all of those things. And I think there needs to be an addendum that says, “Do the things that make you happy and don't feel guilty about it.”   What does it mean to you to “seize the day?”   Connect with the panelists: Stewart Wiggins: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stewart-wiggins/ Induna Advisors – where he offers Fractional Chief Operating Officer services and Brings resources together to help scale your business.   Karen Loomis: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kloomis/ Founder at No Moss Brands. 20 years as a marketing and branding professional. Adjunct professor at Grand Canyon University.  She is passionate about social change.       Yonason Goldson: https://www.linkedin.com/in/yonason-goldson/ aka the Ethics Ninja and the Hitchhiking Rabbi, works with leaders to create a culture of ethics that earns trust, sparks initiative, and limits liability.  He is the award-winning podcast host of Grappling with the Gray and author of the book of the same name.   Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com

Dr. Mohan Ananda started us off by saying there are two kinds of office politics. One that causes problems and for which the person doing it should be removed. Or two – the kind that causes competition and is okay.   I'm not 100% sure I agree with that. I'm not sure it can be defined as “office politics” if it is a good-natured rivalry – although to be fair I don't think those are healthy in an organization either.   But Kaitlyn Niechwiadowicz agreed that office politics can be either positive or negative and the culture of an organization dictates which it is.   Joey Robert Parks looked it as a freelancer coming in from the outside. He has learned that it is important for him to listen and learn so he can adapt and flow with the existing office politics, even if he doesn't really understand it.   Towards the middle of the conversation, I shared that I had worked in organizations where I felt like leadership had no idea that the office politics were as bad as they were.   All three panelists had an opinion about why that is and what should be done about it.   How do you define office politics and what has been your experience with it?   Connect with the panelists: Joey Robert Parks: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joeyrobertparks/ Is a 32-book author and ghostwriter and The Da Vinci of Writing. He can write in any style, genre, or topic, and make it sound natural, like he's been an expert in it for decades.   Dr. Mohan Ananda: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mohanananda/ Scientist, lawyer, serial entrepreneur, and author of the book, Autobiography of an Immigrant. Which has been translated into multiple languages. He is passionate about helping people succeed in business   Kaitlyn Niechwiadowicz: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kniechwiadowicz/ Senior Manager of Talent at Alkegen where she leads their global learning and talent management initiatives. She is passionate about helping individuals make an impact and exceed their potential.   Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com  

Asking someone for help shows vulnerability and trust. But what if you don't ask. Instead, they offer. Does accepting that help create the same kind of connection? My experience says yes. I asked today's panel why they thought that was the case.   Lisa McDonald started us off by talking about the safety that comes from connection and trust.   Dr Peter Economou added that we are communal beings and brought up the difference between how men and women ask for and accept help (ask for directions lately?).   And Laura Agafitei brought in our ability to grow and better ourselves by accepting help.   When I work with teams I will ask if anyone would feel put-upon if a teammate asked for help. The answer is universally no. But when I ask if they would ask a teammate for help, usually the answer is, “I don't want to bother them.”   This conversation is a powerful look at how humans connect by supporting each other and I am really thankful that these three lovely humans helped me talk about it.   What does this question and our conversation bring up for you? Help me out by sharing in the comments.   Connect with the panelists: Laura Agafitei: https://www.linkedin.com/in/laura-agafitei/ Strategy and design Consultant for the health and wellness industry. Based in Dublin.   Lisa McDonald: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisa-k-mcdonald-executive-career-coach/ Founder of Career Polish where she is an specializes in career management and executive presence.   Dr Peter Economou: https://www.linkedin.com/in/peter-j-economou-4b4000a/ With a Ph.D. Counseling Psychology, he is an Executive Growth Consultant, Rutgers University Faculty member and the Director of Athletics Behavioral Health   Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com  

Philip Tate wanted to hit lead-off on this one because he sees it as the ultimate communication question. You have to create an environment that encourages honest dialogue and ongoing conversations by asking open ended questions and being an active listener.   In a communication audit, you need to provide anonymity and confidentiality if you expect to learn the truth about a difficult topic.   Abby McCloskey agreed. You have to lay the groundwork for a good relationship if you want someone to be comfortable enough to share hard things with you. And when they do venture out to answer a tough question, it is on you, as the leader to receive it well. If you don't really want to know and then do something with that information, don't ask.   Michael Sicuranza agreed that it is easy to get defensive and forget about having compassion; remembering that the people who work for you have a fear of repercussions. If you are compassionate with giving them feedback, they will care enough about you to tell you the truth too.   I bundled it into creating a foundation of psychological safety BEFORE you expect someone to have a tough conversation with you. Without it, subordinates will hide bad news until it explodes.   This question is straightforward if you are a leader.   For those watching who aren't leaders yet – what do you need to be willing to share a work thing that isn't going well with your boss to warn them or maybe ask for help?   Connect with the panelists: Michael Sicuranza: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelsicuranza/ CEO of Affinity Wealth Management where they focus on helping small business and corporate executives make better choices with their money   Abby McCloskey: https://www.linkedin.com/in/abigail-mccloskey-cfp%C2%AE-clu%C2%AE-b8233a5/ Certified Financial planner helping people to live a fulfilled life   Philip Tate: https://www.linkedin.com/in/philiptateaprfellowprsa/ He is a communications consultant doing Brand Building | Strategic Communications and Marketing based in Charlotte NC   Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com  

This is harder to explain that I expected it to be. It is interesting how we can want something from someone but not be able to explain what it actually looks like to receive it.   Fallon Siniscarco started us off by talking about active listening and not having a pity party (I can get behind that! There is nothing worse than trying to talk to someone about something and getting pity instead of empathy.)   Kevin Wash believes that some people have the ability to empathize and some people just can't and that fake empathy is the worst. The two things he looks for from someone is honesty and sincerity when the empathize with him.   Dave Roberts explained it using terms that are often used in therapy and coaching – creating space. To show that they get without saying “I understand” if they have never been there.   I shared a specific story that recently happened to me. I don't know that I shared the nuances of the situation well due to the time constraints of Quick Hits but Kevin and Dave disagreed with the way I handled it.   If you knew someone professionally, in the situation I described, what would you have done the same or differently?   Like I said at the top – it was an interesting conversation.   What do you expect from someone who is empathizing with you?   Connect with the panelists: Kevin Wash: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-wash-23b90915/ Coach, mentor, author, trainer, and speaker running a consultancy business specializing in sales for international property development. Based in Spain   Fallon Siniscarco: https://www.linkedin.com/in/fallon-siniscarco-889558267/ Student Utica university studying occupational therapy. She will be going to grad school in the fall to study the same.   Dave Roberts: https://www.linkedin.com/in/david-roberts-56690513/ Teacher, co-author of the book When the Psychology Professor Met the Minister and a bereavement support specialist   Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com  

Well, this wasn't an easy conversation. As is the case with so many of the questions I ask, it depends. How much does it matter? Who is it hurting? Will it make any difference if I do/say something?   Judy Musa started us off in a great place – Am I sure that I am understanding the person who is giving the information and am I sure it is wrong? She went to verify her source before making a decision about doing anything else (smart).   Dr Bob Choat is a self-admitted researchaholic. People know to ask questions like “is this true” before sending him things because he will find the facts. He gave us several tips on how to educate ourselves so we aren't spreading mis-information.   And Dawn Gagye shared how her dad encourages her children to be a little bit skeptical. Don't believe everything they see/hear/read and think for themselves.   We talked about people who are dug into their bias and no amount of information will change their mind (not attractive I must say).   I can't do this conversation justice here in the copy. Listen to it and then I have two questions: How do you know if something is mis-information   And   What do you do about it?   Connect with the panelists: Judy Musa: https://www.linkedin.com/in/judy-musanj/ Founder and managing partner at MoJJo Collaborative Communications where she does Strategic Communications and is a story teller, a Content Creator and Social Connector   Dr. Bob Choat: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bobchoat/ He has eight years military experience, worked with the LA PD , he is now the founder of the Integrated Mind Institute  and is going back to school for another PhD. This time in physics    Dawn Gagye: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dawngagye/ She is a Strategic Marketing Guide and does Done for you marketing strategies that eliminate the stress and confusion   Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com  

This question follows on the idea that you have to understand why rules in an industry are in place to break them well or safely.   Stewart Wiggins started us off by asking what makes something outside the box and suggesting that if all previous knowledge is inside the box than any new or different solution is going to be outside the box.   Simon Coles thought that maybe not knowing what is inside the box might keep you from being trapped in there and allow you to think bigger. But then also added that outside the box thinking might not always be safe.   Chelle Shapiro believes that outside the box thinking is very safe because it is less restrictive and gives you the freedom to think about things in a away you might not have before.   If you don't know what is “in the box” you might spend time trying things that have already been proven to not work or making mistakes that others have already made.   When I work with graduate students, I will often share the mistakes I've made, things that haven't worked, so they can go make different mistakes and learn from them.   What do you think, do you have to understand what is in a box to think outside of it?   Connect with the panelists: Stewart Wiggins: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stewart-wiggins/ Induna Advisors – where he offers Fractional Chief Operating Officer services and Brings resources together to help scale your business.   Chelle Shapiro: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chelleshapiro/ Marketing Strategist for Wellness Coaches & Consultants and recognized as one of the top 15 LinkedIn experts in New York city as well as the author of the book, Loving Yourself isn't Selfish.   Simon Coles: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sjcoles/ CEO at Amphora Research Systems where they free scientists from the tyranny of paper. He is also the founder of the Better Conversations Foundation.   Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com    

Dr Bob Choat started this conversation off strong by introducing the Competence Model. If someone has competence, they tend to be confident but if someone is pretending to be competent, they are more likely to be arrogant.    Dawn Gagye summed up her thoughts succinctly, “Confidence as quiet and arrogance, as loud.” I think that is spot on. She went on to talk about how the energy feels different and how body language even comes into it (watch her part of the video. She does a great job of explaining it.)   Judy Musa agreed saying that arrogance comes from a boastful and insecure place. She went on to share an example from the movie Polar Express.   For me the difference has to do with being boastful – I know and you don't or sharing – I know and let me show you.   How do you decide if someone is arrogant or confident? Do you think gender plays a role in what you decide? Connect with the panelists: Judy Musa: https://www.linkedin.com/in/judy-musanj/ Founder and managing partner at MoJJo Collaborative Communications where she does Strategic Communications and is a story teller, a Content Creator and Social Connector   Dr. Bob Choat: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bobchoat/ He has eight years military experience, worked with the LA PD , he is now the founder of the Integrated Mind Institute  and is going back to school for another PhD. This time in physics    Dawn Gagye: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dawngagye/ She is a Strategic Marketing Guide and does Done for you marketing strategies that eliminate the stress and confusion   Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com    

This topic came out of the conversation where I asked “How do you deal with difficult people? (https://youtu.be/q83cXRIYkBI)   Karen Loomis and I have both been called difficult on more than one occasion. Interestingly, Frank Galindo and Jim Tam never have.   Karen started this conversation off by saying she has been called difficult when she doesn't go along and just accept what someone else is saying or demanding. Challenging someone or pushing back on something will cause her to get labeled.   Jim agreed and said there is also something about intention. You wouldn't call someone difficult who is pushing you to help you become better (you might use the word “tough” – which is interesting to think about).   Frank brought up the word “compromise.” If you are trying to negotiate with someone and they simply aren't willing to work with you, you might call them difficult.    I shared that medical professionals have called me difficult (I'm pretty sure it's on my chart) for asking questions. Is that because they are so overly confident that they don't think I should be asking them questions (Just do what I'm told) or are they so not confident that they are afraid that they can't answer my questions?   Interestingly, when a doctor has labeled me difficult, I usually think they are being difficult too.   Near the end of the conversation, I asked the panel what they do when they realize they are being difficult. How do they back out of that?   What would cause you to label someone difficult and/or when have you been given that label?   Connect with the panelists: Jim Tam: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jimtam/ Is a Principal Client Director with Korn Ferry's Digital group where he advises organizations on how to improve their sales effectiveness through using world-class sales methodology and technology.   Francisco "Frank" Galindo: https://www.linkedin.com/in/frankgalindo-mba/ He has 20 years of experience working in PR where he enjoys bringing people together and creating partnership relationships. He is in the US.   Karen Loomis: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kloomis/ Founder at No Moss Brands. 20 years as a marketing and branding professional. Adjunct professor at Grand Canyon University.  She is passionate about social change.       Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of the Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com  

When I was in high school and college other students would often shame me for doing well because I was “ruining the curve.” I have similar stories from working production jobs. “Don't work so fast. You make the rest of us look bad.”   Tim Hawkes pointed out that the average performers don't have any motivation to work harder. It's much easier to tear someone down.   Dr Cole Galloway agreed that the only angle into the problem is from leadership. But that often there is a leadership vacuum. The idea that you can just let people “fight it out” themselves.   Tim then suggested that perhaps a common goal for the whole team was the way to go. But I pointed out that people who are happy with “C” level work will sit back and do nothing because they know the people who want an “A” will easily do enough work for the group to get a “C” (Tim rightly pointed out that I have personal history with this problem).   Do you think it is about leadership creating a mission that everyone on the team can get behind or do you think that top performers are just always going to have a target on their back from some people?   Connect with the panelists: Tim Hawkes: https://www.linkedin.com/in/timhawkes/ Managing Director of Unlimited Potential. Mental engineer and executive coach focusing on logical and practical solutions to challenging problems.  He is in the UK   Dr Cole Galloway: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cole-galloway-1ba715107/ Recovering academic working in social justice and disability, primarily with babies as the Founder at Go Baby Go   Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of the Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com  

Dave Roberts started this conversation off by talking about feeling drained, having someone come to you for everything all of the time and needing boundaries.   Fallon Siniscarco acknowledged that it's normal to go to your friends for advice (never mind that they likely don't have much more life experience than you do). But if there isn't balance over time in the friendship, you get to talk about your stuff too, that might be time to start to wonder if you are being taken advantage of.   I then shared a story from when I was in high school and a girl who was always mean to me asked for a quarter. I gave her one thinking maybe if I was nice to her, she would be nicer to me. Nope. But you can bet the next day she asked me for a quarter again. There is something about being naïve and nice and having your empathy used against you.   I also wanted to know what do you do when you realize you're being taken advantage of so we talked about that for a bit.   How do you notice if your empathy is being abused and what do you do about it?   Connect with the panelists: Fallon Siniscarco: https://www.linkedin.com/in/fallon-siniscarco-889558267/ Student Utica university studying occupational therapy. She will be going to grad school in the fall to study the same.   Dave Roberts: https://www.linkedin.com/in/david-roberts-56690513/ Teacher, co-author of the book When the Psychology Professor Met the Minister and a bereavement support specialist   Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of the Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com  

Victor Fralof started this conversation with a straightforward answer – fear.   Brandon Mahoney and Stewart Wiggins agreed and I thought we were going to have the first Quick Hits ever that was over in less than three minutes.   But then we started talking about why it makes sense to align yourself with rather than against a bully. Why bullies become bullies. How people used to be more likely to “mind their own business” but now it seems like people might step in (is that true?)   We talked about how we have been bullied and times we have stood up to bullies.   I asked about what advice we had for people being bullied.   This conversation ended up being long so there were some good ideas that got left on the editing room floor. Thank you to the amazing panelists for jumping into this heavy topic and sharing their experience.   What do you think? Why do people side with a bully?   Side note – be safe out there. Don't stand up to bullies in dangerous situations. Connect with the panelists: Brandon Mahoney: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drstartup/ Co-Founder of Launch Point Labs, National venture firm where he is the expert in creating sales departments. He is known as Dr Startup   Stewart Wiggins: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stewart-wiggins/   Induna Advisors – where he offers Fractional Chief Operating Officer services and Brings resources together to help scale your business.   Victor Fralof: https://www.linkedin.com/in/victor-fralof/ Personal and professional coaching for mindset, leadership and direct sales scaling.   Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of the Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com  

Every sales training I've seen talks about building trust. If you are a good human and selling something someone actually needs or wants and you are engaging in good faith – that's not manipulation - - right?     But, if you're sleazy and trying to get them to buy regardless of their needs or wants – tapping into their emotions and building trust to sway them – that is manipulation and that's not cool - - yes?     Joey Robert Parks shared a story about how he used to lie – a lot. And then an idea attributed to Mark Twain. What is the difference between a lie and fiction? A lie is told for the benefit of the teller. Fiction is told for the benefit of the listener. (I can get on board with that.)     Expanded – manipulation is for the benefit of the seller. Building trust is for the benefit of the buyer.     The idea of lies didn't come up for Todd Karges. Instead, Is the relationship being built to sell or just for the sake of the relationship?     Kaitlyn Niechwiadowicz jumped in next. The word manipulation has such a negative connotation – the expectation of dishonesty or someone trying to be sly or sneaky. Which is the exact opposite of building trust (even if trust is created?) She believes the answer to the original question lies in the intention of the seller.     Near the end we played with the idea that manipulation is not negative if you have permission to do it. As in – if you read a book or go to the movies you are giving the author permission to draw you in, to create emotions in you based on a story.     But without that consent manipulation, building trust for sinister reasons, is evil.     What do you think – is building trust on purpose to gain something manipulation? Connect with the panelists: Joey Robert Parks: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joeyrobertparks/ He is a ghost writer and the Da Vince of Wordsmithing. He's written 32 books fiction and nonfiction for successful entrepreneurs.   Todd Karges: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toddkarges/ Has a background in project management and building agile development mindsets.  He is a transformation and change management practitioner and a leadership development coach. Based outside of Toronto.   Kaitlyn Niechwiadowicz: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kniechwiadowicz/ Senior Manager of Talent at Alkegen where she leads their global learning and talent management initiatives. She is passionate about helping individuals make an impact and exceed their potential.   Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of the Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com    

This was an interesting discussion to have with three people who don't mind conflict and will jump right into or even invite a challenging conversation.   Gary Fredericks tries to start by finding common ground, something that can be agreed upon, to show he is as interested in their success as they are.   Inga Hebdon added that it depends on what you are trying to address. It is different if you have to deal directly with them versus helping them deal with a conflict within their team. But regardless, people who want to avoid conflict often are just looking for peace and avoidance is an easy way to achieve that, at least for a little longer (until it grows and explodes).   Bill Haase brought in the word empathy and then took it in a direction I didn't expect by adding that narcissistic people will use avoidance and your empathy against you. Adding that HR protocols that require everyone be treated the same can make it even more challenging because everyone is different.   You have heard me talk about the volcano method to conflict resolution – push it down until it explodes.   Do you think that warning someone – “I know you don't love these kinds of conversations” is a good idea?   What tips do you have if someone else is avoidant? Or if you are conflict avoidant, how do you like to have people interact with you?   Connect with the panelists: Inga Hebdon https://www.linkedin.com/in/inga-hebdon/ Leadership & Personal Impact Coach helping people increase their impact, their ability to lead, influence, and act strategically.   Gary Fredericks: https://www.linkedin.com/in/garyfredericks/ CEO of On Point Partners where they provide back-office services for small businesses. They make business easy.   Bill Haase: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bill-haase-a506299/ Co-Founder/CEO MetaEd Partners. He is developing global virtual and live conferences to support the underprivileged and building programs in the US to help high school students understand how money works.   Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of the Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com    

As one would expect Rabbi Yonason Goldson started us off with the biblical idea of “love your neighbor as yourself.” The idea being that you have to love yourself before you can love others. But what does it mean to love something or someone?  He even gave us a quick lesson on Ahavah, the Hebrew word for love.   Lori Donofrio-Galley agreed that you do need to love yourself to love others saying, “If you're able to care and nurture and grow yourself and develop yourself, you'll have a much greater capacity to love others and to understand how to love other people.”   Bonnie Sussman-Versace commented on how once you learn self-love it just happens and you don't have to think about it anymore.   Listening back to this conversation I wondered if that was true. But in the moment that wasn't the question I asked.   Instead, I wondered if you can't look in the mirror and say “I love you” it is not possible to love someone else.   And, if I don't love myself, how do I accept love from someone else?   What do you think? Is self-love a prerequisite to loving others?   Connect with the panelists: Yonason Goldson: https://www.linkedin.com/in/yonason-goldson/ aka the Ethics Ninja and the Hitchhiking Rabbi, works with leaders to create a culture of ethics that earns trust, sparks initiative, and limits liability.  He is the award-winning podcast host of Grappling with the Gray and author of the book of the same name, as well as Executive Vice President of the Missouri Chapter of the Coalition for Jewish Values.    Lori Donofrio-Galley: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lori-donofrio-galley-9a970046/ I am a first-born, Type A personality who is loyal and visionary and always finishes! Clients hire me to uncover “angles” and communicate value to produce earned media for growth.   Bonnie Sussman-Versace: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bversace/ Re-imaginer at FOCUSED. Where she specializes in developing leaders, building positive and productive workplace cultures, and improving individual, team and enterprise-wide performance   Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com    

This question came up because I have a friend in the UK who has commented on several occasions how we (North Americans) use “how are you” as a greeting rather than a question. But when he asks me, he is actually asking the question and wants an answer other than “fine.”   I asked Atif Agha to start this conversation off and he talked about being aware. It is the right friend and the right time to actually get into the true answer of how you are. Some people don't need or want more detail than “I'm fine.”   Glady Baradaran says she has tried to teach herself not to ask “how are you?” She doesn't like it when people ask that as a greeting and believes there are so many other, better questions you can ask someone.   Lisa Howard made the observation that if things aren't great and a friend asks, she might say something like “going okay” or “hanging in there.” If the friend picks up from her tone that things aren't great and stops to ask for more details or to listen, then she knows she can share a bit more. But if they must brush over it, she just keeps the details to herself.   What do you think of the question “how are you” and how do you answer it?   Connect with the panelists: Atif Agha: https://www.linkedin.com/in/atifagha/ Technology specialist doing data analytics and avid runner, based in Chicago   Glady Baradaran: https://www.linkedin.com/in/glady-baradaran-6238071a/ 15 years of HR experience and a love for organizational development. Based in Canada.   Lisa Howard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lhoward2/ Founder of People Core Strategies, an HR consulting company. She is a trusted fractional HR Advisor - Helping Companies Grow through Effective People Strategies   Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of the Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com

Alexi Bracey started us off by that accepting that mistakes will happen is part of being resilient for her. Not expecting perfection makes it easier to move forward when things don't go as planned. She also recommends doing things to take care of yourself and feed your soul.   Mario P. Fields says that there are things in life that you go into knowing they will be a challenge, going into the Marines for example. Other times, things come at you out of left field. He likes to look back at things and ask himself how he came through it and learn from it.   For Chelle Shapiro she never questions if or how she will make it through something. Instead, she believes “I will make it.” She takes the insult of people telling her she can't or won't make it as fuel to push her forward to prove that not only can she make it, she will. Not just to prove them wrong, but more importantly, to prove herself right.   For me what looks like resilience is actually the story of me just doing whatever the next thing was that needed to be done. I wasn't trying to create some grand plan. I was just trying to live from one day to the next. It is only in retrospect, when I tell the story that it looks like resilience.   The last question I asked the panel was what advice they would give someone who is going through something right now who really needs to be resilient. Their answers were inspiring.   What has made you resilient and able to bounce back from adversity and what advice do you have for others about being resilient?   Connect with the panelists: Alexi Bracey: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alexi-bracey-34935a7/ Mission Happiness. Promoting happiness for no reason. Bouncing back after cancer and dementia prevention specialist.   Chelle Shapiro: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chelleshapiro/ Marketing Strategist for Wellness Coaches & Consultants and recognized as one of the top 15 LinkedIn experts in New York city as well as the author of the book, Loving Yourself isn't Selfish.   Mario P. Fields: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mariopfields/ Marine core veteran. Small business owner. Host and producer of the podcast, Unarmored Talk   Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/ AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.   Want a summary of the Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/   #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com