Risk Everyday with Kristy Arnett

There's no shortage of advice on the internet about how to heal depression. Today's podcast is about depression, but instead of advice, you'll hear a story about one person's battle with it. And because this person is a relationship and life coach himself, you'll be able to draw your own conclusions about moving through depression.  ___ In late 2013, I met Aaron Steinberg. He was a relationship counselor and my marriage was at the brink of divorce. Now, my marriage is better than I could have ever imagined, and Aaron is a huge reason why. What I didn't know was that at the exact time Aaron was helping us, he was also going through the toughest time in his life. He was depressed, struggling to get out of bed every day. Today, he shares his story. 

I recently read a statistic that said that less than 50% of couples report being happy with their sex lives. I wanted to know why this happens and what we can do about it, so I called up Alexandra Stockwell, a physician turned Sex & Intimacy expert who has been featured in Cosmopolitan, USA Today, and InStyle.  She is the author of Uncompromising Intimacy, creator of several online programs and The Marriage Podcast, as well as a private mentor. I decided to put my relationship to the test as well, and she walks me through the steps of how to have better sex in a long-term relationship. Find out more about Alexandra at AlexandraStockwell.com  Also, check out the short film I made about our conversation and the process of integrating her intimacy advice into my marriage on my new YouTube channel. 

A message. 

Each of us has gifts that we desire to bring to the world. What stops us tends to be our emotions -- the scary ones -- like fear, anger, judgement and shame. Amber Rae, speaker, artist and author of Choose Wonder Over Worry, comes on the podcast about how to create boundaries both with other people and with the scary emotions that visit us. 

If you've ever had a hard (or impossible) time changing something in your life and wondered why, this podcast is for you. Eric Zimmer, entrepreneur, Behavior Coach and host of The One You Feed podcast, comes on the show to talk about the principles of being able to make sustainable behavior/habit change. 

There's a difference between being reckless and taking calculated risks. 

Tune in to this conversation with one of the most prolific online poker players in the world about how he's learned to take risks for incredible amounts of money with acute focus and without letting emotions cloud his judgement. 

Poker pro, YouTuber and entrepreneur Johnnie Vibes comes on the podcast to talk about challenging himself to #EmbracetheGrind where he played poker for 30 days, 150 hours and documented his journey along the way. 

The best risks were taken when you weren't sure you were ready. They were ones where you said, "I could fail, but deep down, I know this is the step I need to take." Remember that the next time you get the chance to go for it.

I took a risk and guess what? I was still scared and insecure. It took a courageous young woman from Louisiana to remind me that it's totally normal. 

When life gets boring, that means you're not growing. The way to kick any slump is to go on adventure. It could be a trip to Bali, or it could be to the gym. Or maybe it’s just eating out at a restaurant you’ve never been. According to professional adventurer, entrepreneur and writer Derek Loudermilk, new experiences is the secret to learning personal resilience, confidence and leadership. 

Monday Morning Message: Eckart Tolle just nailed me between the eyes with a quote from The Power of Now. If you're constantly striving and always feeling behind, this message is for you.

What if we have it all wrong? What if compromising is NOT the answer? What if that is actually what's killing the passion. That's what Alexandra Stockwell MD, a relationship and intimacy expert, believes. Find out why on the show.    http://www.kristyarnett.com Music by Autograf

Whatever it is, turn it into action. 

This is the first of many Monday Morning Messages to start your week. 

When a trusted friend asked my husband and I to sit down and be interviewed about how we healed our marriage after infidelity, we felt afraid, but said, "Absolutely, yes."  Here is the interview.   

If you've ever wanted to learn exactly how to stand in your power, this interview with Kasia Urbaniak, a former dominatrix, is for you.  As women, we've been told that we need to be powerful. In the workplace, we must speak up and hold our own. There have been so many times in my life, where I've felt shy, insecure and afraid in conversations. I've frozen, said nothing, then walked away feeling weak and ashamed. Accordingly to Kasia,who is now CEO of The Academy, a school that teaches women the foundations of power and influence, this is an extremely common occurrence and she explains why and what to do about it.

You read the headline right. Jeremiah Brown went from a beginner rower to a Olympic Silver medalist in four years. He chronicles his journey in the book, The 4 Year Olympian. Today on the podcast, Jeremiah talks about what it was like moving from wondering what he was capable of to taking action to find out. During his pursuit, he faced down self-doubt and mounting adult responsibilities (something we all can relate to). 

"There are just so many things I still want to do." She was 25. Beautiful. Talented. Dying. With those words, my friend Thuy Doan taught me what gives life meaning.     

Ayahuasca. Some people call it spiritual medicine. Others call it a schedule 1 drug. But there are reports from all over the world of people having the most transformative experience of their life after attending an Ayahuasca ceremony. Kat Courtney, a shaman and expert, comes on the podcast to talk about the experience of plant healing.

If you've ever asked yourself this question, this podcast is for you. Sometimes we know the answer to getting what we want out of life, but when the opportunity presents itself, we freeze. In today's episode, Kristy explains why that is and shares an exercise for you to do that will bring you clarity and the courage to RISK!

Are you stuck in a rut? In a relationship that you feel isn't right for you? In a job that makes you feel tired and less than valued? How much time will we devote our lives to things that are not working for us? As you might already know, we don't live forever but we may live our lives like we do. If this is you, then you will not want to miss today's guest. In this episode, I interview Bronnie Ware the author of The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. When Bronnie was a child, she believed she would grow up and be a musician like her parents. When her heart led her to work with the terminally ill, she was inspired to share all that she has learned from the dying with the world.  Listen to learn how to live a life without regrets and satisfy your dreams.  Links: https://bronnieware.com/bronnies-book/ Show Notes: [00:01:31] risks I've taken have have just been a culmination of one risk after another and I don't actually see a lot of Bermas risks anymore because it's just my nature and my lifestyle to think okay well my heart says to do this next I'll do this or I'll do this. [14.8] [00:03:17] I picked up my guitar and started writing a song and that led to me stepping onto a stage and I was so sick with nerves and it felt like for a couple of weeks before I even got there and I got on on that stage and I hated it.  [00:04:24] I learnt to open my heart a crack at a lot of walls that were blocking me and it was a massive healing journey for me and that led to me eventually opening a creating a songwriting program in a women's jail and that led to all the while I was doing the music I was looking after dying people and that led to me writing an article for a music magazine which led to me starting a blog which led to the blog taking off which led to me being offered an agency contract for a book deal and then 25 rejections later I went independent release my book. The book took off and ended up with a publishing deal. [44.0]   [00:06:54] this deep desire to share this message because you know that it will make an impact and hearing how your story progressed into. Exactly Being a writer that suits you. [14.4] [00:08:07] How do people get to the deep desire or passion that is going to carry them through the scary parts. Okay well there's two things. [00:14:00] The mind does the mind and see the exact exact vision but the heart doesn't the heart wants to feel a particular feeling. And so if you can take and the heart won't forget that feeling. [00:14:12] So there's no risk of you getting distracted because the heart will actually say I'm really not happy here. You're getting off track. So the heart will always always call you back. So if you can have the courage to only do one step at a time knowing that your heart won't lead you astray your heart will actually keep pulling you in the true direction you're meant to be going. [35.5] [00:15:30] So by committing to just one step at a time then not only are you fully present and can enjoy that step and learn more about yourself in the process but then you give life a chance to reveal the next step when you're ready and that way you end up taking 10 steps 10 really significant steps to get to your destination even if there they'll be enjoyable and an amazing even if they're also really difficult because they can you know life is challenging you to get rid of all the other conditioning that isn't serving you. [39.9] [00:23:12] I would love to just to talk about your first book The top five regrets of the dying as you mention and dig a little bit deeper into just the first regret. How did you find yourself caring for people as your as your next step. [19.2] [00:29:07] And you promised me please promise to this dying woman that you are going to live a life true to yourself that you're going to be courageous that you're not going to care what other people think of you. Please darling please tell me don't. [15.0] [00:30:49] So we have to recognize this that was a precious resource time is and that it's not replaceable and it's not infinite. So the more we can recognize that that we're on limited time and then we realise we don't want to live a life. But other people expect of us. We need to be brave and dare to surrender into where our hearts calling us. [26.2] [00:34:35] so. So it's it's just recognising that life your life is incredibly precious and it's not for ever and the pain of regret is nothing you ever ever ever want to experience. [15.3] [00:36:52] When Dad died because we'd healed a very tumultuous relationship. So when he died I actually just felt amazing peace and gratitude but I just knew was a changing time in my life and so I took a few months off and within a week of a few months of Bloom just it was just like warm. [18.3] [00:39:06] what is surrender in this context and how and why is it so necessary in living no regrets life. Sure. It's definitely not giving up. It takes a lot more courage than that and it actually takes reaching a place where you say I really don't. [19.2] [00:42:49] I had to I had to learn forgiveness towards myself. I felt guilty for being too happy and I had upper limit problems. It was time to embrace happiness without guilt is embracing happiness without guilt over this idea of a sort of like that we deserve to be happy to surrender play into that as well. [24.0] [00:47:26] whatever. You know these vulnerabilities and being able to share things like that make us more human. And so when I put bloom out there sharing different facets of my past and and raw honesty I knew that I'd done the job I was meant to do because in doing that not only am I serving others by helping them find strength through my journey but I have learnt through surrender that it came full circle that life loves us and wants us. [35.9]

If you have ever struggled taking action because fear stopped you, this episode is for you. I brought back one of my favorite guests, Elliot Roe. He has taught me so much about overcoming my own fears that I wanted to bring him back to share a visualization exercise for processing your fear. Listen to hear us discuss how pro athletes deal with fear, hypnotherapy for fear, why we have fear and how to risk everything and be ‘all in’. If you enjoy Risk Everyday, please take time to leave a review. Show Notes: [01:42] Well, what happens if I do go all in completely. First, let me say like I'm smiling right now. It to hear that you know it hugs and you started to see those changes. [04:02] And if you're only half putting yourself half committing to the relationship or you can feel that you're holding back you might feel that you're protecting yourself in some way. So oh I'm safe if the partner does something wrong. But the reality is if you're not committing fully they're much more likely to do something wrong and probably going to prove yourself right. That CEO was right it was only worth me putting in half effort because he's run off or whatever else has happened. [07:43] So first off there's no one who has no fear. I wouldn't have a job if these people were perfect you know they're working with me to try and fine tune and optimize anyway. So even the best in the world recognize that there are things I can improve in their mindset. And you know often there are relatively big issues that can be improved so it can really take you there and performance to the next level. [16:37] So we need to be able to say what are you going to do if you're in a bad position. How does your training kick in if you're on the ground and your opponents on top of you. What do you do next how do you stay calm. How do you turn it back to your advantage. [23:21] What I found so interesting in the hypnotherapy session that we heard was that there is so much deeply rooted some Kupp subconscious stuff that is occurring under the surface. And so I am curious because I am really excited to talk about primed mind. So what's the difference for people who are kind of just getting into this or are just Anangu what visualization can do in hypnotherapy in the difference. Can you talk a little bit about the difference between a visualization in the prime mind and then hypnotherapy is really getting in deep. [36:44] And the one thing that I've noticed more than anything else is everyone else is just human. Everyone wants to be treated with respect. Everyone is just generally people are just nice and they don't want to be hero worshipped and I just join I just try and speak to everyone as if they're my friend and hope that they will be and in most cases if you speak to people like you're their equal but you respect them and you like them any speak to the same way. [40:17] Think about the feeling you get when the fear comes up. So for some people it's a tightening of the chest for others as a sickness in their stomach or a headache or whatever it is for you then think through your life and think about the moments you felt that way around a similar subject. And gradually these memories will come out and just write them down so I'm 15 years old and someone rejected me some 12 and this happened and you'll start to get an idea of why these things are particular triggers for you. Five Minute Visualization for Overcoming Fear [50:00]  

Welcome to Season Two of Risk Everyday!  Today, I am speaking about big juicy goals and how to create a vision for your life. Listen to this episode to learn more about how you can have what you want in life.  If you enjoy listening to my podcast, please take time to leave a review.  Links World Series of Poker (WSOP) Vlog - https://youtu.be/JgoWJxzOTeM

Have you ever started a project and wanted to quit? Have you quit something too early? Are you known as a starter, not a finisher? That’s been me before. I’ve quit a lot of things. This podcast though, I’m not quitting. But I am taking a break to reorganize and recharge. Today on the podcast, I talk about how to decide whether or not to quit.      While you're waiting for Season 2, I would be SO grateful if you filled out a feedback form.

Did you know that you will spend 90,000 hours of your life working? That's over 3,700 days! We better make it count then, right?  But what do you do if you can't seem to find the right job? One that fulfills you. What if you're in a job now that isn't right? Today on the podcast, we're going to talk about how to figure out what you work purpose is and how to make the best of it even if you're not in the perfect job right now. Our guest today is Leah Weiss. She is a researcher, Professor, consultant and author. She teaches courses on compassionate leadership at the Stanford Graduate School of Business and is principal teacher and Founding Faculty for Stanford's compassion cultivation program which was conceived by the Dalai Lama! She's also written the book, "How we work: Live your purpose, reclaim your sanity and embrace the daily grind" which is out in March 2018. In it, she offers practical evidence based strategies to achieving workplace and career satisfaction. Links:  Leah's Website Preorder Her Book Announcement!!!  After doing my own year and reflection and intention setting for 2018, I’ve decided that I’m going to bring season 1 of this podcast to a close! This means that after this episode, I’ll release one more and I’ll be taking break. Not only to recharge my batteries but also to take time to make the podcast even better. I’ll explain more in the next episode, but if you want to stay updated during the break, go to kristyarnett.com and enter your email to join our mailing list. I want you to know how much I’ve loved being on this journey with you and that I’m more dedicated than ever to bringing you the most effing inspiring show ever. To do that, I'd LOVE to hear from you! Please take 5 minutes and fill out this Podcast Feedback Form! 

You know how sometimes we can be irrational? Like being afraid of something you know won't hurt you? Or losing your temper when your TV breaks even though you know that they aren't supposed to last forever? When our emotions run us, there is chaos. One way to help us overcome this is to take an analytical approach. Today's guest is professional poker player, presenter and astro-geek Liv Boeree. She has won over $3.5 million in live poker tournaments, has a degree in Physics and Astrophysics, and is host of the webshow, Amazing Science Adventures. Find out how she uses a scientific/analytical to build a successful life.  Links:  Liv's Website Twitter Facebook Blog About White Noise

We have all been there; you are at an event, you're going around meeting new people, you have a lengthy conversation with a new acquaintance, but you instantly forget their name. It can be embarrassing, and you can feel guilty for not paying close enough attention, but it doesn't have to be this way. With practice and going back to your childhood imagination skills, you can enhance your memory. Today we are back with Chris Pimmer to discuss how to hack your memory. Listen as Chris teaches us steps to remembering everything from names to memorizing a deck of cards. Take a course with Chris Pimmer   Show Notes: McDonalds 1. Parking Lot 2. Door 3. Bathroom door 4. Tables 5. Counter 6. Straw and Napkin Box 7. Cashier 8. Offerings Screens 9. Drive through order 10. Drive through delivery window ________________________________________ One Bun Attitude Two Shoe Priorities Three Tree Health Four Door Family Five Hive Thinking Six Sticks Commitment Seven Heaven Finances Eight Gate Faith Nine Whine Relationships Ten Hen Generosity Eleven Kevin Value Twelve Shelf Growth   [10:57] One of my very good friends told me to buy a book about memory techniques you hadn't read it himself. I thought at the time he did and he was telling me to buy this book because he thought it was so good. But no he just thought it was the memory world champion at the time for the team the team memory champion of the world. And he just thought that would interest me. And I bought the book I read the first couple pages and. Left it alone. Never looked at it again until 2016 I started to record my first online video courses. And I started to write books. And I wanted a better method. [12:17] And in the book, it talks about a technique which is called The Memory Palace. And late in 2016, I started to learn about memory palaces. I made my own in the book he suggests you use your apartment. And you take in every room you take five memorable spots like for example in my bathroom. I have the radiator and I have a towel. I have. A washing sink. [19:39] So the first step was assigning each suit like a category and then each card an image within that category. And then how do you link the order together. [26:26] Using one thing per station means you can easily also go backward or start in the middle and go either way wherever you want to go. So even though you have a fixed order you can start anywhere within that order and always go from there. Like for example I've I shuffled a deck of cards and I can tell you either forward or backward. If you want to. [41:10] And in this rhyme technique that impact technique that I'm going to do with you. You can use any rhyme that you want that worked well for you. And again we're back to where we said in the first part of the interview about quality it's always important to take what is best for you not for everybody else use what others say or give as an idea as a template and work from there to find your own way. [50:21] It'll help you. And afterward, we do a review like we said before. Testing you. And if there is an error we will be able to find that error where you probably could have. Had a different image that would have helped you more or why an image didn't help you and why another one didn't help you see that the next one five thinking. [01:13] I wanted to share a memory powers that potentially everyone can use. I created one for everyone. Because it might help with setting up something yourself. And I'm using McDonald's as an example because I assume most people have ever. Most people have been to McDonald's before maybe even more than once.      

What are the fundamental ways of being to have quality results in your life? Is it patience? Is it your mindset? Is it slowing down? Something that we don't usually think of when we think of successful people is their ability to slow down. Today, in the first part of a two-part episode, I interview Chris Pimmer, instructor of Self Mastery: Upgrade Your Mindset & Thought Patterns. Chris Pimmer is a philosopher, instructor on Udemy, a Taoist, a thinker, and writer. He knows four languages, was a semi-pro basketball player and has lost over 70 pounds. He credits his most triumphant moments to slowing down and having patience.  Listen as we discuss how to have quality results by slowing down and keeping your patience in check. Enroll in Chris Pimmer's Course: Self Mastery: Upgrade Your Mindset & Thought Patterns Follow Chris on Twitter: @chrismission   Show Notes:  [01:48] I'm committed to making it a priority to actually do that for 2018. Review the year and take in the best of what I've learned into 2018 and I've made that a priority due to in large part the influence of our guest today. His name is Chris Palmer. I talked about him on a risk every day about how you magically came into my life and taught me so much. [04:22] Often we think that we need to push push push against or or or go harder and faster and that may not actually create quality. And what I love about Chris is that he's really applied this to all aspects the way he teaches. The way he plays poker the way he speaks the way he's learned four different languages the way he lost one hundred pounds which we're going to talk about on the podcast as well. [08:37] I thought God am I going to do here now. I have no idea what I like what I want even though I had done so many things in my life. I was absolutely unaware of all the things that I had done and what they actually meant. That came years later only. So for example I once fell in love with a Brazilian girl and she didn't know how to speak German. I'm from Germany so the next day I bought a book to learn Portuguese and a couple of months later I was able to talk to her. And I wasn't even aware that that was something that I really loved. Like the learning of something was the key thing here for me. And it took me so long to discover to even. You [11:29] And slowly a very deep depression started to come over me. I started to isolate myself not to try to be with anyone not trying to have any contact with anyone anymore. And that depression. Got only worse over the next couple of years. And. In 2012 we're talking here 2007 so 2012 five years later I finally was able to get out of the Depression using a lot of the techniques that I. Try to learn all the time myself and then employ them in my own life. And those five years fields feel like I completely lost them. Like gone for my life. And so this time you were learning. [18:45] If there weren't that part you mean by accepting by accepting that hey why not try something new why not be open to this and changing a word Tao into literally anything like. I think what helped me the most with the book was that I for some reason that I cannot say I don't know. I always thought about after reading one verse. Usually I didn't read more than one verse. And it has eighty one of them. [30:43] I try to be present for it. I think presence and quality go sort of hand in hand if you're not present for something. You will have a hard time to give it your best and giving your best. Sounds like an effort again. But we're talking about effortless giving your best. I always imagine some martial artists for example that looks just so fluid so. Gracious. When moving and you feel like oh this is exactly what effortless looks like. But it took them tons and tons of training rehearsal. [36:16] But I think the key here is the more and more it's promising it's improving. I feel more joy. No not everything has to be slow I think because like it says it's not about just being slow it means effortless doing effortless doing can also be fast doesn't have to be slow if you feel great with something and if it comes from inside of you just do it fast. That's fine. But when it involves something like chess or poker or some other mental cognitive disciplines you sometimes want to think a little longer or at least take a little more time so that you can. [47:52] But if you do feel something inside that something is right something usually is not right. Doesn't mean that it has to be wrong but something is going on that you should explore and take serious and there are certain triggers like every time you say it feels like this or my gut tells me this or that. Those are sort of trigger moments so whenever you feel yourself saying that to yourself or you. [57:49] No matter what part of our lives we're doing it and I see this example all the time when people start new year's resolutions and they go I'm going to go to the gym every day for two hours for you know the rest of the year and that's like there's a new year's resolution and then like a weekend like still hard. It's too much or at least I mean that's what that's one kind of example that I've seen and you know I just would love to bring this kind of all together and what I really have taken from this hour together on quality is. [1:12] And after a couple days or even weeks I started to have that streak of having so many days in a row what I was like wow OK let's do more than 10 days. There's 250 days as did 20 days and all of a sudden without realizing it because I was so focused on putting in the right numbers. I had a 100 days. Now I have a 209 days of doing that exact diet all the time or actually even more because I left out some days while I was on vacation.

So many of us have difficulties transitioning into the next phase of our day; we cannot shake off work before coming home to our significant others or are spacey when meeting friends for dinner.  When we are somewhere else emotionally and mentally, it stops us from really experiencing life. Not slowing down, checking out, and moving too quickly often has us responding differently than if we were in our intention. I want to share this simple but powerful exercise to help you get grounded, create what you want for your life, and stay in your intention. Listen to learn how to slow down your thoughts and reconnect with yourself.

Chris Lee has always had a natural ability to help others shift their perspectives and let go of what is not working. He is someone that I have wanted to interview since the day I met him and he is one of the biggest reasons I still have my marriage. On today's episode, Chris walks us through the 10 principals of abundance and prosperity. Listen to learn how to make space for abundance and attract what you want in life. Find Chris Lee here: http://www.chrisleemotivator.com/ Buy the book here: Transform Your Life: 10 Principals of Abundance and Prosperity Take a Course with Chris Lee: Choice Leadership   Show Notes:  [1:02] First of all, before I get started I actually just wanted to acknowledge you because you've made such an impact in my life. You've known my story I have shared on this podcast so much about it but. You were one of the biggest reasons I still have my marriage. [2:19] But first I really want to introduce you to my audience who doesn't know you as well as I do. So could you give us a little bit about your backstory and how come this park is so important to you. [2:30] Well I'm from San Juan, Puerto Rico. I grew up there I moved there from New York when I was one and my family spent the first five years in the Old City in Old San Juan. So it's such a rich place with so much culture. And it was a very happy time. And when I was 6 my father decided to leave our family and he left and never came back. [2:56] And so that was a very traumatic moment for me in my life. I felt abandoned and I felt unworthy and being the youngest as well of five kids. I was like always left behind. And so that was that was pretty much the foundation of my mission to really not only develop my self-worth and develop my emotional intelligence but to also see how these tools could support other people. [3:56] And then there was this one workshop that a friend of mine did that changed her life. She was a good friend of mine from school and for some reason, I resisted it the most. And so it took her a year and a half to get me to go. And after finally, I said OK I'm going to go do this. It completely created a massive revolution in my thinking. And so that's when I realized that who we are as who we choose to be and that we have the power to create what we want. [6:36] And that led to my own principles and that led to my own work in my own workshop and developing it into the point where now we have transformed your life. Ten Principles of Abundance and Prosperity and through of course the work of transformation I do workshops all over the world specifically the United States at a place called Choice Center which is absolutely incredible which is where we met and Choice Center is a place a university a leadership University. Emotional intelligence is one of the most powerful tools you can ever implement in your life. And I also work with celebrities I coached celebrities I coach heads of companies and you know people in different arenas to really bring out their authentic selves and bring out the most effective part of them to make a massive difference. [10:11] Most people are always looking at what they are not what they don't have what they haven't accomplished what's wrong with them. And guys I do this work every week and there's and of course it's critical to do that to see OK this is what I need to fix. [10:32] And so by me acknowledging my worth and acknowledging all the gifts and blessings I had in my life and those of you listening think about what are you worth. What are the blessings in your life? What are the priceless things that you wouldn't trade for any amount of money? And so it's about gratitude and gratitude is me highlighting every gift I have from the fact that I'm breathing to the fact that I could see I could listen I could hear I could walk I could talk. There's so many you know in the book I say we're already billionaires we just don't know. [12:07] So one of my quotes in the book is when I live in gratitude. Life will give me more to be grateful for when I live in gratitude. Life will give me more to be grateful for. So that's a bug that's an attitude of gratitude. Prosperity is a byproduct. [15:17] Yeah. It's such an important exercise I think. I challenge you guys to do that right now or after we just just write down the things that you're great at the things that you can give the world the things that you have accomplished and really take time. [18:56] And so one of the key principles are or ways or strategies of letting go through forgiveness, forgiveness of your forgiveness of others as long as you're mad at somebody they have your power. As long as you're mad at yourself then you are powerless to move forward. So letting go is it really it encompasses a lot of things. [21:06] and that's what I'm in now you are able to create that space to attract in my life somebody who's been a partner a soul mate who respects me. We share the same vision we share values principles. We don't disrespect. We don't talk bad to each other. We don't scream. We don't say bad words we are just very loving and honorable with each other the way relationships were meant to be. [23:44] I mean look what's happening now with all these incredibly talented actors and producers and screenwriters that are just being outed for being predators someone is completely out of integrity. It's out of integrity for me to solicit you to have sex. And you say no to me insist on it anyway. It's out of integrity for me to drug you or for me to rip you off or steal from you or lie to you. I mean that just out of integrity and integrity is also about being whole and complete with yourself. You know you're you're acting inconsistently with what you say matters to you-you're out of integrity. So you say your health matters but you smoke. You say your family matters but you don't spend time with them. You say your wife matters but you never spend time with her. You say that your children matter but you don't listen to them. [26:28] I write principle for visualization. This is fun because you know everything was once a vision and then like one of my favorite quotes like Disney said if you have the power of your dream it is the power to achieve it. And think of all the things we can create when we use our imagination. Another quote imagination is more important than knowledge. [28:54] And my message to everyone listening is if you have the power to imagine it you have the power to create it in the current moment. So visualization is beautiful. [30:08] For example if you feel that you're not worth anything you create an affirmation. Like I am a valuable worthy man. So basically you're creating an affirmation. Let's say you want confident speaking in public because you're terrified of public speaking. So you create an affirmation where the words that represent what you want. So I am a powerful influential motivational speaker you know. [34:15] Like your marriage you get to choose it every day. It's not you chose it when you chose it. It's I choose it now and I choose it now and I choose it now it's something that's a work in progress so that persistence is really about choosing the goal over and over and turning any breakdowns that could happen into an opportunity. And in the book once again I teach you how to do that. [38:37] If it's to be it's up to me and when I lived these previous principles I start not only creating big things I attract I attract people in my life opportunities investments jobs relationships. I stopped having to look for work twenty years ago I stopped having to work for a paycheck. Twenty years ago 30 years ago sorry I stopped having to have what I want 30 years ago because I shifted into this energy and I could tell you hands down the avalanche of love and support and work and health and just it all comes back to you when you're sourcing but there's no place like being responsible and there's no apparent victim. [42:23] The big thing for me is humility because when you're in this work for so long and people all over the world are admiring you and loving you and you know it to be the big thing that's coming up for me is it's not about me. It's about the information or the message of the vehicle.  

Some words can elicit such strong reactions. How do you feel when you hear the word 'compromise'? Do you think compromise is a win/lose, lose/win, or lose/lose situation? In today's Risk Everyday, we are talking about how to compromise without feeling like you have to lose or win. Listen to learn how to express your needs and keep close in your relationships instead of drifting away in resentment. I would love to hear what you have to say and how you are risking - remember to use the hashtag #riskeveryday on Facebook, Twitter, and/or Instagram.

On today's episode, I interview Steve Sims, the world's first luxury concierge. Steve is the visionary and founder of a company called Bluefish. Bluefish makes all of their clients' fantasies and wildest dreams come true. Whether that is visiting the International Space Station or taking a submarine to the Titanic, Steve makes it happen. Through Steve's journey, he has learned that failure is what has helped him move forward in life. He has been a bricklayer, a doorman, unemployed, etc., but what helped him move forward is his ability to allow failure but not be defined by it. He recommends failing daily and if you are an entrepreneur, you should be failing often because it's the only way you will grow. Listen to learn how to move forward with what you want and get shit done. You can find Steve Sims here: Steve Sims Buy the book Blue Fishing here: Blue Fishing: The Art of Making Things Happen Show Notes: [07:59] It's so so interesting that you launched this business and it's evolved and basically out of that it named itself you've got to really put the definition of creating your own world. So I would love to know a little bit of the history of your you're in this incredible company like one of a kind company. What had you began did you just see that I could really create these incredible events for people or how did that evolve. [08:31] Yeah I sat down and I did a 400 page PowerPoint. And I studied in Harvard for four years I'm now so complete and utter B.S. I was a doorman for a nightclub in Hong Kong because I'd lost my job. I'm British I lived in London. I got this chance of a job in Hong Kong. I went over for a in one day and they fired me. So I'm stuck in Hong Kong with no job no future. And I ended up working on the dole you know luckily this is an audio podcast and not a video so I can convince you that I'm about 150 pounds. The simple fact is I'm about 250 pounds of ugly. So God created me for that. So I did what I was for I started working on the door. Started throwing parties. [09:18] And quite simply at that time I thought I'm gonna invite rich people poor people come pay me and rich people are the chances of employing people so it makes sense. It sounds rude but you know hopefully I told myself if I've got like 50 rich people in the know in the nightclub maybe one of them will offer me a job and that was the whole premise behind it. [19:09] Now entrepeneurs, there is one trait an entrepreneur needs and it's to become comfortable with being uncomfortable because shit goes wrong when you're an entrepreneur if you haven't been sued broke ripped off let down disappointed that it's it's going to happen because that's what happens to entrepreneurs.I just tried it and I failed more times than anybody else. I fail weekly if not daily and those five years are quite simply just educational what not to do. And I allow failure to find me and not define me. [38:01] If you've got people in your life the naysayers. They say "that doesn't sound like a good idea, we shouldn't try that" you want to get those people out of your life from a place where people go why shouldn't we tried that what's the downside if we tried marketing campaigns and it fails, are the lights still going to be on? If yes they are then hell that's the one we should try because you can only go forward by trying new things. [42:59] Beginning to let go of control or trust in other people brings up some level of fear for people. I love what you say when you say you can you can only grow by giving other people responsibility and also that gives them the opportunity to grow into. And I'm curious so your company Blue Fish, what do you see for in the future and are you constantly asking yourself what things can I delegate still or are you really clear with what it is that you want to be doing currently and it's kind of set? [43:44] So in my business when things are happening them I like to try new concepts allowed to try new markets are allowed to try new demographics dynamics countries are allowed to try new things. It's what keeps my interest. [45:18] So in my business when things are happening them I like to try new concepts allowed to try new markets are allowed to try new demographics dynamics countries are allowed to try new things. It's what keeps my interest. [47:41] So if you're worried about offending somebody maybe they shouldn't be in your circle because maybe they should be part of the problem solution. Maybe those people shouldn't be in your circle. I'm having a bad day. Something's wrong here. I'm not happy. Will you help me. And as the person turns around says no. Maybe not person should be in your circle and if you're offended then what are you lost. Totally. I'm actually a great believer and this might sound silly or it may be plausible to any of you out that I'm a great believer in being selfish. I am an amazingly selfish, self-centered person. I don't do anything that doesn't benefit me. [50:23] I want to try some different. I always want to try something different I want to experience something different because only once I've experienced it well I know do I like. [52:04] I think what they need to do first of all is clean house. I would suggest the cleaning house is imperative. You can't run up a hill when you are too much baggage. So clean house get rid of those people that are irritating aggravating zapping your energy and focus on the good stuff.

When we hold back on what our gut is telling us to do (visit new parents, reach out to a busy friend, ask something of someone else), we miss out on the opportunity to deepen relationships, give our love and gifts to others, and allow others to give to us. This week's episode is about how we decide that others are too busy, overwhelmed, and are uninterested in anything that we would ask them to do. When we do this, we are really saying that we are afraid of being vulnerable. Listen to find out why it is worth the risk to call someone that you think is too busy or ask a favor of someone else. #riskeveryday -- Please let us know if you have taken a risk and use the hashtag on Facebook, Twitter, and/or Instagram.

When polling my friends about what their biggest hurdle is in relationships, one of the top answers was-- COMMUNICATION. Well, that and choosing what to eat for dinner (but I think that can be put into the communication category anyway).  The question then becomes- Why can't we communicate effectively? What's stopping us? And what would good, clear communication between people look like? According to Joshua Hathaway, the reason we don't communicate effectively is because bull shit runs us. 

EPIC FAILURE! Sounds scary right? Well, seeing as though failure is unavoidable in life, especially for those who risk big, why not change that conversation? Let's celebrate going down in a giant ball of flames! Kristy does and she shares her story of her biggest financial and career failure. 

"Do you have the patience to wait till your mud settles and the water is clear? Can you remain unmoving till the right action arises by itself?" Verse 15 in The Tao Te Ching.  My answer? Umm... well no, that hasn't been a strong suit of mine. 

Before I met Molly, I heard her. It was this singsongy voice bellowing out from the hallway of a conference I was attending. I turned towards the sound and in walks this tall brunette with bright red lipstick and a big smile to match. Her hair and outfit reminded me of one of those gorgeous vintage pin up models from the 40s. Molly Mahoney is a professional performer, Camera Confidence Coach and expert in helping entrepreneurs, artists and business owners grow their visibility and business through Facebook— everything from attracting customers to your Facebook business page, understanding how to run highly converting Facebook ads, hosting Facebook Live broadcasts that provide value and build deeper relationships, and creating Facebook Messenger bots that attract more of your perfect clients and customers in a uniquely authentic way. The conference I met her at was Adam Urbanski’s Revenue Rev Up live event in San Diego. (As many of you who’ve listened to this podcast, Adam was on the show awhile back. He talked about his mission to Eradicating Entrepreneur Failure). Molly was a speaker. In addition to fun, valuable Facebook strategies, Molly also share her own entrepreneurial story in which she nearly failed. Today on the podcast we discuss: 5:53 What comes out of your mouth is actually a magnet for you and your business. 10:07 Molly shares her story, step by step, of how she went bombing a product launch which got zero sales… to doing $50,000 in three months with a totally different offering. 21:40 Why your one “why” isn’t enough. Molly shares her fail-proof method of having a Three-Part Why. 36:47 Learn more about the common entrepreneur trap Molly has coined, “Busy Balls.” Molly also has a free gift for you guys. Be sure to listen to the end of the podcast! Please please share with your friends. We’re taking this podcast to the moon. Links:  ThePreparedPerformer.com Molly's Facebook Page Molly's Twitter Molly's Instagram Free Gift- How to create your morning mantra   _____ Call the show! Leave a message! Ask Kristy a question!  (702) 605-4609   The song featured on this show is "Slow Burn" by Autograf.    KristyArnett.com

Integrative medicine physician Dr. Robin Miller, a medical reporter on NBC and regular guest on Dr. Oz, says ditch the fads and look to your gut to get you toward your goals of health and happiness while ditching those extra pounds. Ten years ago Dr. Miller left mainstream medicine in order to practice the kind of patient-focused medicine she had dreamed of doing in medical school. “I have been frustrated by the lack of options available when it comes to conventional medicine. There are amazing treatments and therapies available these days that have allowed our lifespan to increase. However, often I find I cannot help people as much as I would like because I run out of tools and possibilities.” She began a search to find new, innovative ways to help people achieve balance and wellness, which culminated in the publication of HEALED: HEALTH & WELLNESS FOR THE 21ST CENTURY.

Today's story is about love, poker and the fight within us all. 

I have been asking myself WTF am I doing with my life a lot lately. I always say that it is about the question and not necessarily the answer. It’s about having the question empower us to choose what we want to create with our lives. By asking these questions we really get to know what is important and what we want to create. As I write my WTF Am I Doing With My Life book, I have been going through the process of how to choose what we want. I also keep asking myself why do I keep having to go through this process and answer this question. Just as I am finishing up my first draft, Bri Seeley pops back into my life and messages me about her new book Permission to Leap which will be released on November 14th. Bri and I recorded a podcast last year about how to co-create with the universe. Bri is a coach, author, speaker, blogger, and podcaster who helps women turn their inner visions into outer realities. Today, we talk about the concepts in Bri’s book and how to take a look at what you want in life. Bri talks about how she came up against her own blocks and had to give herself permission to leap along with a lot of other great insights.    You can find Bri here: Bri Seeley Bri Seeley facebook Bri Seeley YouTube @BriSeeley Twitter Bri Seeley Instagram Bri Seeley LinkedIn Permission to Leap Podcast Permission to Leap   Show Notes [06:34] Kristy acknowledges Bri for who she is and the actions and risks she takes and how she makes a difference to her audience. [07:31] How sometimes Bri feels like what she is doing is never enough, but that's a byproduct of being a high achieving person.  [08:32] Bri decided to change her trajectory and switch to a 7-figure business. Realignment also has to happen. [10:02] Everything that was working last year, stopped working this year. Bri decided to write her book and see where it goes from there. [12:44] Being sure that you are truly committed to the project or change. [13:32] Deepening the practice and the pause before you take off. [15:14] How there is always a journey and impactful people are always questioning how to take things to the next level. [16:34] How Bri has been struggling because things are manifested in a physical form. She has a lot of different things going and that she is doing the job of 15 different people. [17:33] How we often wait for external validation to say yes to our dreams. These things can happen, but they often don't. They only person that is going to give you permission to say yes to what you want in the world is you. [18:53] Permission to Leap is about saying yes to yourself. By saying yes to yourself you are allowing the universe to step in and create what is within you. [19:58] Choosing to leap or not, either way you need to choose a side or else create stagnation. [21:19] How meditation is a practice and getting familiar with the different parts of yourself. [23:40] How Bri can feel her intuition by getting to know the bits and pieces of herself. [25:40] Alignment and the things that align to your old trajectory, may not align to your new trajectory. Some things will need to fall away and create space to come into existence. [27:26] Taking a leap of faith and creating something out of nothing. [28:10] How to find trust and faith when we aren't sure, by going back to whatever we have faith in right now. [29:01] There is no right or wrong. Sometimes choosing a leap will turn into something else.  [30:15] Asking what you have learned and moving forward or redefining the moment. [32:17] Clarity and tapping into the energy of the future. You can get amazing energy and insights by using the energy of the future. Open up to a time and place where it has already happened and tap into that. [33:54] Confirmation or that double check moment. This is when the universe makes sure that you are committed. [38:02] How it is so hard to step towards the unknown future. The prior steps keep you moving. [40:02] Inspired action, putting the pieces together, and taking the leap. It is an inspired action that comes from within. [40:44] Bri asks what actions she should take each day to move towards her goals. She does the ones that scare her the most because they create the biggest impact. [42:07] Do the things that make the most impact. Fear indicates an action will take you out of your comfort zone. [42:57] Feedback. In order to stay aligned with your vision, you need to know how it is working, feeling, and creating impact. Move forward with the actions that work with feedback loops. [45:20] Bring explains how to get advance copies digital copies of Permission to Leap. With a PDF version and free Kindle version. [47:49] Stepping back and trusting that the book is done. [50:25] Bri is writing the book to support and help people with saying yes to their visions.   Links and Resources: How Co-creating With the Universe Works With Bri Seeley Danielle La Porte Inside Out Advance Digital Copy of Permission to Leap Bri Seeley Bri Seeley facebook Bri Seeley YouTube @BriSeeley Twitter Bri Seeley Instagram Bri Seeley LinkedIn Permission to Leap Podcast Permission to Leap

I’d been traveling a ton, felt totally ungrounded and have numerous deadlines tightening their strangle holds on me. But of course, I have created all of this for myself. My drive can often switch from passion driven, to obsessive, to self interested over the course of even a single day. The self interested part of me wants to prove to everyone- look how much I can do! Look how I can be what you want me to! Look how good I am! Aren’t I doing a good job??? — It’s like I’m a little girl, jumping up and down screaming, trying to get my parent’s attention to love me! ❣️And in the end, isn’t that what we are all trying to do in some ways? But the problem is, when that part of us takes over. When I’m not conscious, I start to take everything on and forget the wisdom of my body. And I’m tired. And it’s not working. I know it because I can feel the difference in what I create and who I am when I come from love and passion rather than this fear place of not being good enough. ✏️What I write feels true, rather than trying. What I say flows easily, rather than calculated. What do feels right, rather than forced. And when I choose it feels light rather than out of obligation or with resentment. It’s just that if I’m not careful, I fall back into my old patterns of Do-Do-Do, instead of just BE.

Today’s guest is Dr. Sharad P. Paul. Dr. Paul is an expert in many areas, but today we talk about understanding our genes and using genetics to approach our health. Dr. Paul is a world renowned geneticist who has discovered how to tap into gene therapy to understand who we are, what makes us tick, and how to hack our genetics to become the best person possible. Dr. Paul is also a skin cancer surgeon, a family physician, an academic skin care expert, an evolutionary biologist, and a storyteller who has not only written his new book The Genetics of Health, but he has written fiction too. Dr. Paul is a social entrepreneur and an adjunct professor at Auckland University of Technology. His accomplishments are so impressive, and he is such a passionate person that this is a great show.   You can find Dr. Paul here: The Genetics of HealthDr. Sharad Paul@DrSharadPaul TwitterDr. Sharad Paul facebookGT21 Gene Test Show Notes [05:10] The age old question of nature versus nurture. How genes affect everything about us.[06:08] How the Genetics of Health is about applying our genetics for health and wellness instead of just the treatment of disease.[07:18] Song lines in aboriginal culture. All European cultures can be broken down to seven lines. How the number seven is popular in folklore of many cultures and science too. [09:23] How there is a oneness to humanity, and how our health issues can be broken down into genetics. [10:28] How there is high UV in the Southern Hemisphere and people of Celtic descent weren't designed to live in these sunny areas. [11:08] Lactose intolerance in different cultures and the trends of what people should be eating according to their DNA.[12:46] Genome sequencing tests for diseases that there aren't treatments for. The stress could affect health. [13:13] Microbiol test to see what you should be eating.[13:22] Dr. Paul's test is saliva based and it focuses on diet and exercise and vitamins not disease. It's all about prevention and wellness.[14:50] How everyone is born with a certain genetic profile.  [15:19] In the past science thought some DNA was junk DNA, but now they know that is not true.[15:42] Genes get transmitted down generations. The job of a gene is to make proteins. They make beneficial and harmful proteins.[16:34] We have control over the concentration of the enzymes is what makes the difference between a gene creating good or bad proteins.  [17:15] Chemicals in the womb, can affect our genes. Once we are born we are exposed to an external and internal environment.[18:17] Understanding what environmental factors have affected your genes give you an opportunity to work on that. [18:54] Relationships can have a bearing on our genetic environment. [19:30] People always want to look younger. The same genes implicated in aging are the same ones in disease and stress. So things shouldn't be looked at in isolation. [20:23] Today our climate and environment and food are the biggest factors on our genes.[21:27] How junk food makes people and mice angry, fat, and stressed. We need to put a good environment in our body. The less processed stuff the better. [22:46] How most vitamin C capsules get excreted. The natural form makes more of a difference. Eating more fruit is better than taking more supplements.[25:37] Everything in moderation. Avoid processed foods and products. Eat food in the most natural form.  [26:44] How we started eating processed foods in the last 100 years. The world is increasingly processed. We need to take charge of our own lives and be authentic in our environments.[28:13] All we can control is our internal environment and avoid being in polluted places.[30:47] Environmental change can be a massive part of health implications down the road. In destroying your environment, you are destroying yourself.[33:44] The lazy gene or sluggish gene in mice was corrected when they started running and doing mice endurance training. In the beginning things can be hard, but once you do it, it is not that bad.[35:24] Procrastination is a finely tuned evolutionary thing. People who were the most stressed and scared survived. [36:17] Fitness in biology means ability to propagate a gene.[37:19] How it is detrimental to our health to get stressed. There are no more saber toothed tigers.  [38:01] The myth of race and what it means. How apes have pink skin and polar bears have black skin. Evolution is about the fitness of the population. We need folic acid to reproduce. Skin darkens to protect folic acid in our systems. [40:13] There is a battle between vitamin D and Folic Acid going on in our bodies. All of us are the same, changes happened according to where we are from and what we ate.[43:50] Dr. Paul is a creator because it creates curiosity and makes people better in math and science. Being creative you set the context, develop the characters, and there will always be conflict. Being creative can be a problem solving approach. [47:49]  How we all need to take a step back and think about what unites us and not divides us. This is our only chance on life as what we are. If we follow our passion, we can automatically create good stuff. Links and Resources: Kristy’s Facebook Page The Myth of Race Dr. Sharad P. Paul TEDxAuckland Dr. Sharad Paul on Mind Body Green The Genetics of Health Dr. Sharad Paul @DrSharadPaul Twitter Dr. Sharad Paul facebook GT21 Gene Test

Today, I want to talk about an incredible and powerfully impactful social movement. That is riding on the courage of many women. Last week the story broke out about several women accusing Harvey Weinstein of sexual misconduct. This is such a big deal. Especially, with the number of women that have spoken out and the large time span over which the occurrences happened. Harvey WeinStein is a huge and powerful Hollywood figure. He is a film producer who in 1979 cofounded Miramax with his brother. Miramax has produced many popular films like Pulp Fiction. Harvey has won academy awards for producing Shakespeare in Love and Tony awards for The Producers and Billy Elliot the Musical. He is a massively powerful person in Hollywood. The questions that so many people have been asking in the face of these accusations are how come it took so long for people to come out with this information and why is this just coming out now? He has been in the industry for decades. People are really looking at the power dynamic. Many actresses were afraid of coming out with these accusations and being blacklisted. Even men weren’t sure how to stand up against this. Now that the accusations are out, many people are banding together and saying, “me too”. Show Notes [03:32] How Alyssa Milano tweeted "me too" and how thousands of women are joining in with their own stories with the hashtag #MeToo. [03:48] How we are holding shame for these things that are hard to talk about, yet people are being met with love and kindness. [04:37] There has been some conversation that we are shaming men by telling our story. These conversations can be had without shaming men. That is not going to further the conversation. [05:40] We need to share what we have experienced and share raw, honest experience of what it feels like to be run over and assaulted.[05:36] We need to say here is what I experienced and bring real authentic, honest and raw pain of how it feels to be passed over, run over, assaulted, and cat called. [06:16] In so many ways, men have been conditioned, so it is important for us to share in a way that is real for them. Now men are sharing #ItWasMe stories. [07:18] Men have been sharing how some of their actions were conscious and this is coming from women sharing in a vulnerable way. [07:23] Men can hear and choose differently and give themselves permission to have been wrong and choose differently.[07:48] Justin Bonomo wrote an incredible post that gave Kristy a deeper sense of empathy for what men go through. [09:30] Justin's message to women and how he vows to be an ally going forward. [10:09] As women, let's share our stories and call forth the best in men instead of making them wrong.[10:52] As a woman in the male dominated poker field, I have experienced slights and harassment, but I want to take the opportunity to acknowledge men in a positive way and recognize behavior and the power that men have and the wonderful ways in which they contribute. [12:50] We need to teach men respect and kindness and not to get physical with a woman.[13:11] Physical violence is never acceptable. The more we take action on that it will show that it is not okay.[14:33] Kristy shares how she drank too much and was laying down and a guy came in the room, but another guy stopped him from whatever he was up too. [15:43] This person had the best parents and they were great people. Thank you for watching out for me.[16:17] I had the best high school sweetheart and she still cares about him today and hopes he does well and is happy.[17:07] In college, I drank a lot. Fortunately, I was in situations where I was surrounded by great men who didn't take advantage of me. I am really grateful for these men.[18:48] To the wonderful amazing incredible men who are protectors of women. Thank you. [19:45] Your love needs to be seen and heard, and you don't need to be lumped in with men who are treating women poorly. [20:14] No woman deserves to be touched inappropriately. Women deserve to be cared for. [20:39] Women should also be mindful of their situations and drinks and alcohol and create space and boundaries and have responsibility on both sides. Links and Resources: Alyssa Milano Conditioning of Men Robert Kandell @JustinBonomo Kristy@KristyArnett.com  

While recording today’s interview, I realized that this episode has the perfect message for millennials. So many of you are wondering what to do with your life and your career. Most of you want to find a purpose and make a difference. My guest today is a very successful man who has the perfect message for today’s episode. Mark Howley is the CEO of Pacific Bag Inc. which is an award winning 30 million dollar packaging company with more than 5000 clients. Mark has also launched an encore career as a professional speaker, and he really loves inspiring young people. His message is especially applicable if you are in a job that isn’t quite right for you. Mark specializes in finding the silver lining in your job and using it to find a career that is fulfilling. He speaks from experience because he has had some difficult times in his past, yet he decided to take the high road and use his experience to grow and help others. Mark not only created a successful business and a successful family, but he found purpose by leading young people through sharing his message. In this episode, Mark shares his story and message with us. You can find Mark here: MVH SpeakingMVH Speaking on FacebookPacific BagPacific Bag on FacebookPacific Bag on Twitter @pacificbag   Show Notes [04:00] Mark shares his story from when he was young and life was fun. He was partying too much. He had a craving to chase something. [05:54] Mark's mother was diagnosed with cancer, and Mark was drinking and doing drugs. He knew he had to stop. Everything seemed glum and he was taking one bad turn after another. [07:55] He went to rehab and it felt humiliating and his friends didn't support it.   [13:15] How Mark realized that his negative thoughts weren't serving him. [14:58] He was able to shift his mindset to work hard and make things better. He knew being the best he could be would make him feel better about himself.  [17:04] Mark found outside sources such as books and exercise to keep him focused and engaged with what he was doing. [14:58] He was able to shift his mindset to work hard and make things better. He knew being the best he could be would make him feel better about himself. [17:04] Mark found outside sources such as books and exercise to keep him focused and engaged with what he was doing. [19:51] Mark became curious and finding out the details of his bag business became interesting. He decided to accept where he was and do the best he could. [21:42] How at a point Mark became ready to grow and further himself in the industry he was in. [25:48] How Mark's top-earning sales representative started as a personal assistant gopher type position for Mark 14 years ago. [27:12] Standing out by having a willingness to learn. Hiring is more about values and character than experience. [28:07] Mark shares the importance of work ethic and taking pride in things we complete. It's not bad to say, "I don't know". [30:06] How Mark doesn't think that the millennials are any different than any generation. [33:54] How millennials want to make a difference and are more open about reaching out for help if needed. [36:11] How it is an honor for Mark to focus on his family. [36:42] How Mark quit his job and started working for Pacific Bag and finally became where he is now.   [37:56] Mark's success wouldn't have happened if he hadn't learned all of his previous lessons. When something good happens, you need to be ready. [39:15] Focusing on the beauty of things and learning and doing while finding your true path. [40:27] Be humble and your day will come.   Links and Resources: Mark Howley on Onward NationMVH SpeakingMVH Speaking on FacebookPacific BagPacific Bag on FacebookPacific Bag on Twitter @pacificbag  

Today’s Episode: Welcome to Risk Everyday which is part of the WTF podcast. I am your host Kristy Arnett. For those of you just joining this podcast, my mission in the world is to be an inspiration who empowers people to create the lives they want. The thing that stands between what we want and have is fear. We move past fear by taking risks. If you are taking risks to get the life that you want please join us on social media and post with the hashtag #RiskEveryday. Today, I am going to talk about a moment that I have been avoiding talking about, but I think it is time. After recording the episode with Suki Sohn where she became so vulnerable and overcame a heartbreak that took her to rock bottom, inspired me to share my story. Regular listeners know about my life experience with my husband and our healing from infidelity. Things are so great now, and I am so grateful for what we have been through. It’s time for me to talk about healing and the tangible parts of moving forward during that time, and what I learned moving through it. If you are experiencing heartbreak currently, I want this podcast to be a place that you can lean on and come back to when you need help. I have been procrastinating the sharing of this part of my life, but you guys are my tribe and I want to share with you and inspire you. I hope my truth makes an impact.     Show Notes [05:15] Almost four years ago, I found out my husband had a short affair for a couple of weeks. We had been married about 3 years at the time. [05:53] I knew things weren't great, and that we had been fighting and that he felt depressed and disconnected. We weren't really on the same page. I never thought it would lead to possible divorce. [07:23] I was devastated when I found out. Heartbreak can be shocking. When it sets in the grief, sadness, and stress can be overwhelming. [08:05] Fortunately, I had a session scheduled with relationship coach Aaron Steinberg. I already knew I needed to speak with someone and had already had the call scheduled. [08:54] The whole conversation was a blur except for the end of the call. No matter what make sure that you take care of yourself. Aaron ended the call with these simple words. I knew this came from a place of caring and love. [10:08] First and foremost, take care of yourself. Whatever that means to you. [10:40] For me, taking care of myself was eating. I was just so stressed that eating didn't feel like an option. So, I got a green juice. I also needed to try to sleep. [12:27] Every time I had a terrible feeling I would hear the voice say take care of yourself. I was also reluctant to lean on anyone, but this is the time it is important to give yourself permission to ask for help. [13:36] Sarah had snacks and wine waiting for me. I couldn't ask for a better person to be with me at that time. I also drank a lot of wine. [14:32] How it is tempting to drink during these rough times, but it is important to keep in mind that alcohol is a depressant and it can exacerbate the depression. [16:03] A part of me saw the beauty of leaning on a friend. [17:05] Sarah also did my makeup and wanted to make me feel beautiful. [18:05] I had rage, stress, anxiety, and neediness. Sarah was wise enough to tell me that going out that night was a bad idea. [20:00] Even when you are going through the worst of it, ask yourself what you really want. Let that want guide you when you are weak. [22:02] I knew I could fight for my marriage coming from a clean place. Part of healing was sleeping in the den on a spare mattress. [24:27] I was lying there and saw light shining on a photo of Andrew and me laughing. What am I doing on the floor in the den? I realized we were both trying together. [26:22] I latched onto the ribbon of beauty and allowed it to expand and heal parts of me. [27:38] Find the beauty and let it carry you during the darkest time, and let it expand when you can. [28:52] Take care of yourself, make decisions based on what you really want, and find the beauty. [29:53] I wake up everyday grateful that both of us went through this heartbreak.   Links and Resources: How to Heal from Heartbreak with Suki Sohn Episode 00: Premiere of the Wtf Am I Doing With My Life Podcast! How and Why We Saved Our Marriage Why Fighting With Your Significant Other Is Actually Great with Aaron Steinberg Sarah Herring @AuntyChardonnay  

Today's guest is Suki Sohn. She is a transformational and leadership coach that started her journey over a decade ago after her divorce left her physically and emotionally depleted. She shares her story in such a beautiful and vulnerable way that I know you guys will connect with it. She is the author of Happily Ever After: 8 Principles from Ancient Esoteric Traditions and Neuroscience to Healing a Broken Heart. Her message is so relevant today. At the beginning of Suki’s journey she found herself with chronic back pain, insomnia, migraines, and depression. After MRIs, CT scans, and Western medical approaches didn’t provide long term solutions, she turned to holistic mind-body-spirit practices. She began to study many esoteric and spiritual paths and became in tune with the subtle energies that influence our daily lives. Suki now uses various timeless energy modalities to help clients reclaim and optimize their emotional, mental, and physical well-being. Prior to Suki’s coaching journey, she worked in finance and media with Fortune 100 companies such as the Walt Disney Company, News Corporation, Lehman Brothers, and Fortress Investment Group. She lives in Irvington, NY with her husband John O'Connor and two sons. In this episode, Suki shares her journey of finding her true self and healing her heart. This is a great time for all of us to learn how to heal because in some way we all have a broken heart. You can find Suki here: Suki SohnSuki Sohn on FacebookContact@SukiSohn.comHappily Ever After: 8 Principles from Ancient Esoteric Traditions and Neuroscience to Healing a Broken HeartSuki Sohn on Twitter @sukinycSuki Sohn on LinkedInSuki Sohn on Instagram @SukiSohn Show Notes [06:33] Suki loves being in nature, trees, her husband, her children, and working with her clients. She is inspired by all of the joy that can be found in life. [07:54] The importance of gaining perspective and how one person can be grateful for an experience whereas another person can be miserable from the same experience. [08:33] How by doing the really deep work, we are able to actually come through and see the beauty in all experiences. [08:56] Suki had a lot of WTF moments in her life. She began with a cool job working for Disney and had a hunky husband and a new baby boy. Yet, there were some relationship issues that they were pretending weren't there. Then she discovered that her husband was having an affair. [10:03] How after this discovery, everything seemed meaningless to Suki. Suki and her husband went to couples counseling for about a year, but she discovered that her husband never stopped seeing the other woman. [10:53] At the time Suki was living in Hong Kong, but quit her job and took her baby and moved to New York. How everything that matters suddenly doesn't matter anymore. [11:52] Suki felt like she had lost her identity. This was not only the obliteration of her dreams but also of who she was. [12:37] She wondered who she was and what was next for her? [13:08] She began dating with the intention of just having fun. She started dating which ended up being a three-year-long relationship that ended in infidelity, and she got pregnant towards the end of the relationship. [14:19] Suki had very hard time and terminated the pregnancy. She felt like she had hit rock bottom. [15:40] She didn't have a spiritual practice and had no perspective on what was going on. [16:10] How the catalyst of her journey began with trying to find a reason for all of these experiences. [16:21] Suki had a couple glimpses of hope. She looked out into the stars and felt that everything would be okay. She also took a trip to Sedona and sat in meditation and said a prayer of hope and dreams and was immediately greeted with a gush of wind in her face. [18:26] Kristy shares a moment when she was outside in the warmth of the sun and something just told her that things would be okay. Following and being open to these moments. [19:23] Being vulnerable enough to hear the presence of the divine. [20:02] Suki became open to learning about self-help and spirituality after the Sedona trip. It was the beginning of trying to figure out the unseen world. She dabbled in everything and gathered certificate after certificate. [21:37] How all of these events told Suki where her soul needed to go. [23:33] Suki started losing hope and thought she may never find love again. She continued doing the inner work she needed. She met her husband during this time, but they didn't get married for two years. [24:41] Do we really know what we want? We think we know, but is that what we really want. Find things that will make you happy like compassion, understanding and a willingness to grow. Find a Mr. Right that comes from the soul. [26:17] Attraction, lust, and passionate sex can trick us into thinking something is love that can last. If the foundation is shaky things won't last. [27:00] Ask what kind of person do you want holding your hand 50 years from now. [27:26] In order to attract the right relationship, you have to take your own garbage out first. [28:18] Finding negative belief patterns that bring about the wrong type of person and ghosts from the past. We get what we believe. We find what we seek. [29:31] Meditation and muscle testing can be used to get into the subconscious mind. Finding beliefs buried in the subconscious. [32:28] How Suki had to let go of her critical judgments went she met her current husband. She had to surrender to how her soul felt. [33:33] Suki went on a vision quest where she went into the desert fasting to find her gifts. It rained for three days straight. On the third day, the sun broke through and she heard the words shadow cat moon dancer. This means to help people through the dark night of their soul. [35:31] Your life purpose is not something that you can achieve in the next year. It's up to us to manifest our gifts. [37:00] How Suki is living out her spiritual name Shadow Cat Moon Dancer. [38:55] Defining who we really are through our beliefs. Getting to know your true beliefs at the deepest soul level. [40:26] How many women don't have clear boundaries. Boundaries come from knowing what your contribution to society is. Being grounded and having self-respect and self-esteem. [42:12] How coaching is a great way to guide people in this quest. Suki believes that a great coach is a guide who allows the client to unfold. [44:22] Having a partner who is always willing to grow and evolve and working at it constantly. [45:15] Work on yourself first. If you transform and change and approach things with gentle femininity your partner will take notice. [50:41] Suki aims to be a lighthouse that helps people through the dark night of their soul. Links and Resources: Rumi8 Weeks to MagneticFeminine Leadership AcademySuki SohnSuki Sohn on FacebookContact@SukiSohn.comHappily Ever After: 8 Principles from Ancient Esoteric Traditions and Neuroscience to Healing a Broken HeartSuki Sohn on Twitter @sukinycSuki Sohn on LinkedInSuki Sohn on Instagram @SukiSohn

In the world of coaching and personal development, there are legends in the game. The kind of people that have been around long enough to be the go-to person of the industry. On today’s podcast, I talk to one of these legends. Robert Kandell is a writer, teacher, coach, and lecturer. Since 2002, Robert has been on the forefront of transformational relationship work. Robert is the co-founder of OneTaste a lifestyle and wellness company that provides courses, mindfulness practices, and Orgasmic Meditation. The goal is to improve wellbeing, focus, emotional intelligence, connection and fulfillment. OneTaste has been featured on The Today Show, New York Times, Inc. Magazine, Time, and Cosmopolitan. Robert is also the host of the Tuff Love Podcast where he answers questions about life and love. On Robert’s podcast he actually gives out tough love advice and speaks openly about the topics that he has mastered over the course of his work. On today’s show, we are going to address men and male conditioning and what life is like for the modern male. Robert is in the process of writing his new book called “Living unHIDDEN: A New Book for Men”. You can support his book through his Indiegogo campaign. Robert speaks the truth about the place for men and how women can get a better understanding. You can find Robert here: Tuff Love Podcast OneTaste Indiegogo Campaign Tuff Love on iTunes Robert@KandellConsulting.com Kandell Consulting Robert on Facebook Robert on Twitter @RobertKandell Show Notes [04:54] Robert has always been passionate about what he believes in, and he has always been a creator. [05:59] Unhidden is about bringing what is inside out. Everything even those things that you are embarrassed about. Find a place to live unhidden, so people can see who you are. [07:25] How it is so confusing to understand what is wanted from men. The pressure from social media has also contributed to this confusion. [08:21] On Robert's first workshop on sexuality, he made his wife cry which woke Robert up to his blind spots. [09:33] Robert began taking self-development courses and started OneTaste to bring conscious sexuality into the world through Orgasmic Meditation. [10:21] After 10 years, he left OneTaste in 2014 and moved to Venice Beach and started life coaching and podcasting. [11:51] Sex is a form of communication and people can take different connotations from that. Men think everything is okay because they are having sex. Women can have sex as a way to look for intimacy. Men and women look at sexuality quite differently. [13:03] How sex is the smoke you can follow to find out what is truly going on in a relationship. [13:46] When people are afraid to communicate they put a blanket over their sexuality. [15:48] Looking at your motivations for not speaking up and how you were educated by unconscious lessons. [16:32] Finding the reason why women may not speak up in bed. Working with a partner to come up with a way to communicate what you want. Talk about things before or after an experience by creating a partnership and a team for pleasure. [18:26] Giving permission to be human. Approval and reflection and not holding stuff in. [21:19] Saying what you feel and talking about it. Being open to share and talk. [22:10] Poor communication is one of the things that Robert hates to see. He loves the moment when someone feels accepted for a thought they thought would be undesirable. The acceptance makes people feel less alone. [24:05] Most men speak in masculine language with a goal to produce. Most women speak in feminine language for emotion and intimacy. [25:33] Women would prefer their feelings acknowledged and men want to fix things. [25:53] How disagreements can occur when people have different relationships to the baseline of facts. [26:47] If you don't know what the other person's expectations are a lot of conflicts can occur. [29:48] How women don't think that men want to please them. Men get pride from their production. Women get pride from their attractiveness. When a woman doesn't approve of what a man does she is insulting his desire to produce. Thank you's are a huge thing to guys. [31:14] This is a tough time for guys. Things like Tinder and free porn have had an effect on the men and there is a lot of confusion. [33:28] Women are no longer dependent on men, but men are used to women depending on them. This might help relate to men in a more clear way. [35:01] Robert taught over 400 workshops at OneTaste, and he loves teaching. His podcast gives him a platform to make a positive impact. It's a live show with a 20-minute rant on a topic and then a 20 minute live coaching call. [37:36] Robert's favorite shows are when he talks about his own vulnerability and bring out the emotion inside of him. [39:26] Robert's biggest breakthrough was learning how sneaky he can be and how it impacts his life. By being honest he was able to connect more. [41:52] Robert's strategic plan is to write his book proposal and find an agent or self-publish. Then he will use the book as a platform for his speaking career. [43:27] Robert wants to be remembered as an example of the power of honesty. Links and Resources: Kristy@KristyArnett.com Tuff Love Podcast OneTaste Indiegogo campaign Tuff Love on iTunes Henry Rollins Eckhart Tolle David Deida Rene Brown Robert@KandellConsulting.com Kandell Consulting Robert on Facebook Robert on Twitter @RobertKandell  

I feel so angry, hurt and confused by the horrifying mass murder that occurred last night in Las Vegas. More than 50 beautiful people, who went out for night of fun, love and country music, are now dead. These are individuals that never expected this would be their last day. They all have ambitions they’ll never have the opportunity to follow and loved ones that never got to say goodbye. They were shot down by someone with multiple assault rifles from the 32nd floor of the Mandalay bay. Hundreds more were injured. One of my best friends was there. He ran for his life and saw so many people shot. I still don’t know if all my friends and family are safe.  Las Vegas is my fucking city. The fear makes me want to spew hate and anger towards people who have beliefs that I think contribute to this happening. The fear makes me want to hide. The fear and anger inside me makes me want to know who the fucking perpetrator is to find out why he did it. It feels like I need answers because I want to be able to say, “This won’t happen again.”  But in this, I get to take responsibility for my choices. I choose not to know or say the shooter’s name. I choose to take action where possible. I choose to speak with passion and compassion. I choose to focus on the good— like the first responders. Like the heroes who carried the wounded to safety. Like the victims at the concert who threw themselves on top of their loved ones to protect them from bullets. We all get to choose. Perhaps you have had certain held beliefs about guns, mental health, politics, terrorism, police, security. To you I ask, can we choose to be willing to be wrong? Can we speak in a way that the other can hear us? Can we come together and make a fucking difference in the name of all those lost their opportunity to last night? I urge us all not to get stuck in fear and anger. Separation and hate will only move us backwards. Unity and love will give us a chance to move forward.  Who you are, the choices you make and the words you choose are never neutral. You are either contributing to more hate or more love.  You choose.

Last week I spent time with my family back home in Kalamazoo, MI. My mom and I had a tumultuous relationship when I was in high school. I couldn't wait to leave to go to college. I thought she was controlling and unreasonable. But I've grown up, and in many ways, she has too. With presence, you can find awe in the simplest of moments. Here's the life lesson I got while picking grapes with my mother. 

Stacy Hartman is a lead trainer and business mastermind facilitator for one of the top coach training schools in the world, the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching where our mission to increase the consciousness of the world, one person at a time with a unique and proven methodology called Energy Leadership.  Today, she comes on the podcast to talk about the 7 Levels of Energy and our hidden powers of potential. Most people have no idea what kind of energy they give off. With Stacy's clear and easy explanations, you can discover this for yourself. Stacy is also a business coach and consultant to today's expert thought-leaders, trailblazers and pioneers. Her unique methodology combines high impact online marketing and sales strategies with secrets of the new entrepreneurial mindset to help entrepreneurs unleash their human potential to make the difference they are meant to make in the world. LINKS:  Stacy Hartman's Website Stacy's FREE training for entrepreneurs  Facebook Lives and more free training