Finance Your Dream

Trauma from the stress, anxiety, and anger of having a spouse who mismanages money - and then an ex who continues to cause financial hardship - is real! Lucinda Testo, therapist and life coach for divorced women and moms, tells her story and provides actionable steps for women experiencing a similar situation. Lucinda talks with Debra about waiting to divorce because of being “financially crippled,” pulling out of debt left from marriage, moving from a safe, corporate job as a psychotherapist into private practice and then starting a coaching business, re-marrying and what to think about financially with a new partner, dealing with a difficult medical diagnosis, and more.For show notes, go to www.moneysmartforlife.com/podcast

Bethany Gettis came to single parenthood as a widow, but no matter no matter how you became a single mom, you'll take away valuable insights from this conversation. Bethany shares her story of postpartum depression; the steps she took to take back control of her life after the initial shock of losing her partner; how she faced her new financial situation and moved from fear of losing her house to creating a life that enabled her to pay the bills AND homeschool her children - all while doing work she loves. And more. So many take-aways from this conversation!For show notes, go to www.moneysmartforlife.com/podcast

Our tendency as single moms is to give everything to our kids - every last bit of our energy and attention. But sooner than you know, your children will grow up and leave the nest. Then what? Looking to your children as your only source of happiness and fulfillment isn't good for you - or for them. In this episode, Debra talks about the importance of "getting a life," even if that means spending some money, and she outlines steps for how to do that.For show notes, go to www.moneysmartforlife.com/podcast

How do you teach your child to be good with money? Debra interviews writer, producer, social media manager, and podcaster Julia Washington, who talks about raising her son as a young, solo mom. Julia shares the steps she took to encourage her son to take an interest in personal finance. At 17, he is well on his way to a life of financial security and achievement of his dreams. Debra and Julia also talk about negotiating salaries, approaching college financing, and more.See show notes for this episode at www.moneysmartforlife.com/podcast

Listening to experts can change our lives in positive ways, but can sometimes lead us down the wrong path. Debra shares her journey about going in a direction with this podcast that didn't feel right, and refocusing now on single parenthood and money. She also talks about why we listen to other people instead of what we know to be true and how to avoid that pitfall.See show notes at www.moneysmartforlife.com/podcast

If you struggle with a heavy student loan debt burden, you're not alone. Student loan debt has reached crisis proportions in the United States, and many people put their lives - and dreams - on indefinite hold while they wonder how they're ever going to pay it down. Take heart though - there's hope! Even if you owe into the hundreds of thousands. Travis Hornsby and his team at Student Loan Planner have helped thousands of people save millions of dollars on their student loan debt pay-down. In this episode, he shares his wisdom and knowledge, and offers hope for achieving your dream even with large amounts of student loan debt. To book a life-changing session at Student Loan Planner, go to www.studentloanplanner.com/moneysmartforlife/. For this episode's show notes, go to www.moneysmartforlife.com.

If you or someone in your family is active duty military, former military, or is thinking about joining the armed forces, don't miss this episode. Tricare expert and retired Naval officer John Letaw joins Debra to talk about the benefits and challenges of military life, and to break down the opportunities Tricare (the health care program available to all current or former military members and their families) offers. John is author of "Tricare Around the World: Getting the Most From Your Military Benefits," and runs the "Tricare Around the World" FaceBook group, the world's largest and most active online community dedicated to sharing information among users of Tricare worldwide.For show notes, go to www.moneysmartforlife.com/podcast

Decluttering can have a big impact on your financial life. Clutter is heavy. It weighs on you and prevents you from moving forward. Listen in for Debra's clutter story and for tips and resources for decluttering your life and opening up space and time to focus on achieving your dream.For show notes, go to www.moneysmartforlife.com/podcast

Does the life you've been taught to want leave you feeling empty? Do you feel stuck and unable to make changes? Expectations of what life is supposed to be like and fear of living differently hold us back from working towards our deepest dreams and desires. Don't miss this discussion with "Liberated Bad-Ass" and Life Coach Sarah Leslie, who shares her own transformational journey and the radical changes she made to create happiness and fulfillment. Sarah offers steps you can take to choose - and build - the life you want.For show notes, go to www.moneysmartforlife.com/podcast

Is your dream to own a home? Don't miss this episode! You'll get all the info you need to successfully secure a mortgage: how to know you're ready, pre-qualification vs. pre-approval, what debt ratios are and how to know if you have too much debt, what lenders look for in your credit report, the ins-and-outs of down payments and closing costs, and more. Mortgage expert Amy Slotnick shares a deep well of knowledge and experience, so whether you're dreaming about buying a home sometime in the future, you're just starting down the home buying path, or you're well on your way, listen in. You're guaranteed to learn a lot!For show notes, go to www.moneysmartforlife.com/podcast

Do you have a kid who is passionate about and committed to participating in a sport, dance, music, gymnastics, or another expensive pursuit? Those activities can be EXPENSIVE, especially given the costs that come with training at a high level. Listen in for nine ideas for reducing the costs of financing your kid's dream.For show notes, go to www.moneysmartforlife.com/podcast

Is your dream to travel the world? Don't let a limited budget get in the way. In this episode, Debra discusses creative ways to reduce or eliminate some of the major costs of travel. These are not the "usual suspects" of travel hacking (credit card points, flexible travel dates, etc). Those can be valuable, but we go beyond the usual and talk about outside-the-box ways to travel for next to nothing.For show notes, go to www.moneysmartforlife.com/podcast

My kids have just flown the nest. In this episode, I talk about 12 financial and life lessons I hope I've taught them. These lessons can help you chart your own path and get ahead financially as you live with integrity and purpose. For show notes, go to www.moneysmartforlife.com/podcast

Is your dream to have a child? Are you single? You will hear many comments like "it will be too hard" or "it's not fair to the child" or "it's not the way it was meant to be." Baloney. If you accept these comments as truth, you won't get your finances in shape to make your dream of motherhood come true. So let's flip the script. In this episode, Debra lays out five reasons why it can actually be EASIER to parent alone. For show notes, go to www.moneysmartforlife.com/podcast

Divorced, or thinking about divorce? Listen in for steps to take to protect yourself financially, and all the ins and outs of buying a home post-divorce. In this interview with Divorce Financial Coach Shanda Deshield of Real Financial Guide, we go over ways women can save money of their own, what to do with the family home in case of divorce, and everything you need to think about when buying your home after a divorce. For show notes, go to moneysmartforlife.com/podcast.

Is your dream to own a home? You're not alone! In this episode, the first in a series about home ownership, Debra lays out the pro's and con's of buying a house. Listen in for five reasons buying a house is a great idea, and five reasons why you may be better off renting. For show notes, go to www.moneysmartforlife.com/podcast

In this interview with Parent Coach Kiran Gaind, we talk about the financial stories from our childhoods that can inform the actions we take to pursue our dreams. We also focus on entitlement: how a sense of entitlement can get in the way of pursuing our dream, and how we can help our children grow up without a feeling of entitlement - even when we're raising them in an affluent community. One nugget of wisdom from Kiran: "What if there's no such thing as 'fail,' only 'learn'?"For show notes go to www.moneysmartforlife.com/podcast

What are you waiting for? Life is short, and the time to start pursuing your dream is NOW. In this episode, Debra talks about the choice you can make to live your own life - that you create - or to "sleep-live." She also reviews the three steps to take now to develop the financial ability to pursue your dream. Don't let money hold you back! If you want it badly enough, there's a way to make it happen.

Is your dream to become a parent as a single person, or if you have a partner but you're experiencing infertility? In this episode, Debra discusses the different ways people become single parents by choice or form a family in the face of infertility, including pursing assisted conception or adopting. She jumps into the emotional and practical challenges of each method and outlines the costs. Then she offers different ideas for cutting the costs of those paths and/or raising the money to cover them without going into debt. Even if you're not a high income earner, there ARE ways to make your dream come true.

Meghan Dwyer, financial planner, mom, and podcaster at "Money Isn't Scary," joins Debra to discuss some of the deep issues women face around money: when reality differs from what we've been taught to expect, when we may not feel worthy or deserving of high incomes or financial successs, when deeply embedded cultural stories inform the way we view ourselves and our financial lives. They start out talking financial planning and coaching, but soon jump into the meatier money mindset issues. See show notes at www.moneysmartforlife.com/podcast

Debra outlines the six steps she takes with clients who are working on making their dream a financial reality, from creating the vision, to gaining clarity about your current financial situation, to mapping out the costs of realizing the dream, to taking "radical action" and more. Most things are possible with determination, commitment, and a willingness to live differently from the norm. What are you willing to do?For show notes, go to www.moneysmartforlife.com/podcast

Quick explanation of upcoming name change for the podcast

Learn about out-of-the-box ideas for saving significant amounts of money on the journey to single motherhood by choice, and as a single mom. Sarah Kowalski - SMC, fertility doula, life coach, and author - shares her journey and the brave moves she made.For show notes and links, go to moneysmartforlife.com/podcast. Or copy the links below and paste into your browser:To join Sarah's brand-new community for Single Mothers by Choice, the Motherhood Reimagined SMC Community, go to https://debrajacobs--motherhoodreimagined.thrivecart.com/premium-97/To get a free copy of my new PDF, Ignored to Intentional: Five Essential First Steps for Moving into Money Mastery, go to https://dedicated-producer-3233.ck.page/388905443a

We all make mistakes. Looking back, it's easy to see where we could have done better - but when we're in the thick of it, we have a harder time making good decisions. This week, Debra lets you in on her own personal mess-ups: the five biggest mistakes she made when her kids were younger.Two of these mistakes were financial, the other three were parenting mistakes.Debra's getting up close and personal this week so you can benefit from her experience, and hopefully do better.For show notes, go to www.moneysmartforlife.com/podcast

Reducing expenses will help you create the life you want - but bringing in more money is equally important. How can you create new income streams to save the money you need to realize your dream of becoming a single mother by choice, or to create the life you want for yourself and your kids? It's not easy, especially when you're a single mom already pressed for time. But it's possible, and you can do it. In this episode, we review ways to raise quick money, to create longer-term side businesses, and to increase your salary. For show notes, go to www.moneysmartforlife/podcast

We all have money stories - thoughts that inform the way we approach our finances.What are your stories? Are they holding you back from facing your financial situation and from working towards achieving your dreams?In this episode, we go over 10 common limiting money stories - from scarcity to feeling like "the poor kid" to the Cinderella Syndrome, and more - and talk about ways to face these thoughts and begin writing new stories.Changing your thoughts won't magically change your life, but will open the path to actions that WILL result in major change.Note: The money stories in this episode are numbered - but for some reason skipped from 6 to 8. You're not crazy - there's no number 7!For show notes and links to resources mentioned, go to moneysmartforlife.com/podcast

After working all day and taking care of your kids, the rest of life can feel overwhelming. From paying bills to doing the dishes to making the hundreds of decisions that you have to make as a parent and simply as an adult - life can feel out of control. Often we respond by ignoring things, which we all know leads to bigger problems in the long run. In this episode, Debra offers five easy-to-implement tips for making your life run more smoothly - financially and otherwise. For show notes, including links to resources mentioned in the episode, go to www.moneysmartforlife.com/podcast.

You really want a dog, or your kids are relentless in asking for one. As a single mom, should you do it? Can you manage it between work and parenting your kids by yourself? How much will it cost? In this episode, we go over everything you need to think about before making the decision. For show notes, go to www.moneysmartforlife.com/podcast.

Budgeting can feel scary, daunting, and time-consuming, and when you're a single mom focusing on your job and your kids, it's something you likely ignore. But budgeting can actually be freeing. It can give you a structure for financial decisions that lightens your load. In this episode, learn how to budget in a way that will work for you. Yes, you'll have some initial set-up and leg work to do, but once you have the system in place, you won't need to track your money every day or spend hours entering every little expense.You'll finally have an easy way to get on top of your finances!For show notes, go to www.moneysmartforlife.com/podcast. And when you leave a review on iTunes, drop a note at debra@moneysmartforlife.com to let Debra know, so she can enter you in the drawing for a free hour of coaching.

If you have a teenager, or a younger child who will one day become a teenager, don't miss this episode! It's full of important information and strategies for relationship-based parenting through the teen years. Debra discusses:- Ways to build and maintain strong relationships with your teen- What to do when they lash out and say hurtful things- The pressure of school and the crazy, toxic push towards college- Sex, drugs, and your teenager- When your teen lies to you- Anxiety and teenagers- The dangers of "rescuing" your teenFor links to resources mentioned in the episode, go to www.moneysmartforlife.com/podcast.

Life changed for Kim Williams when she found herself pregnant as a sophomore in college. She pulled herself out of despair and did what she had to do to support herself and create a great life for her child. Kim finished school, got her MBA, and moved for the sake of support and then again for a job. She built community both on and off line. The creator of the Experiencing Motherhood Single and Black podcast and community, Kim has an important and inspiring story to tell.

As your kids get older, the cost of raising them increases. They eat more, they may have expensive hobbies or passions, it costs more to buy them clothes. You're more likely to overspend on older kids at the holidays, and it's more expensive to take them on vacation. In this episode, you'll find tips for cutting some of those costs without compromising the quality of your life or your relationship with your kids.

Raising children is expensive - but there ARE ways to reduce the costs. By a lot! In this episode, Debra shares ideas for saving on everything from daycare to diapers, food, toys, and more. Make sure you tune in next week for Part 2, about reducing the costs of raising older children. For links to some of the resources mentioned in the podcast, go to www.moneysmartforlife.com/podcast.

Are you considering becoming a single mother by choice? Sabiha Mustafa, single mom by choice and coach to women thinking about starting that journey, talks with Debra (also a single mom by choice) about all the ins and outs of making that decision. What are the common fears women have? What mindset shifts might be necessary? Will my kids be okay? What's the process? The challenges - and joys - of single motherhood by choice are both significant. This episode is a must-listen if you are thinking about making this leap.

If you ache to stay home more with your child, but feel stuck because as a single mom you have to put food on the table, this episode is for you.We'll talk about ways to make that dream come true. It's absolutely possible - with some creativity, hard work, and maybe some initial sacrifice.Your kids won't be kids for long, and their babyhood and childhood are so precious - and so fleeting. In this episode we'll talk about ways you can to work fewer hours, cut expenses, and carve out more time to spend with your kids.

None of us want to think about our own death, but planning for that possibility is SO important - especially for single moms. In this episode, Attorney Samantha Allen walks us through everything we need to do to protect our kids, from putting specific documents in place to choosing guardians to making our wishes known. Have your pen and paper or your notes app ready - you're going to need them!

Don't miss this episode! Our first ever guest, Heather Wells, has an amazing and inspiring story to tell.Heather Wells is a single mother of three amazing children, and creator of The Single Mom Blog and Podcast. After years of struggling as a single mother on government assistance programs, she was finally able to achieve self-sufficiency by starting her own business working from home. With a thriving consultant business, she now also focuses on helping other single mothers develop the skills and mindsets to live their best lives.

Want to create peace and respect in your home, but not sure how? Do you feel like a drill sergeant - and a not very effective one - instead of a parent who is kind, loving, and firm? In this episode, we do a deep-dive into relationship-based parenting. What exactly does that mean (and what DOESN'T it mean), how can you apply it, and how can it make a difference for you and your kids? You don't want to miss this one.

Making more money is great, but saving what you have is even better! This episode offers lots of ideas for getting clothes, baby items, furniture, and more - for free (or for very little).

All kids ask difficult questions, but as single moms we get our own specific brand of questions that stab us in the heart: Why don't I have a dad? Why doesn't Daddy love me? Why didn't my birthmother keep me? In this episode, we talk about how to prepare for those questions (and others), and discuss three foundational messages to incorporate into our responses.

Housing costs take such a huge chunk of our budget - especially on a single income. In this episode, we discuss eight ways that single moms can reduce housing costs, and offer suggestions for specific resources and websites to help you along the way.

You may be holding onto beliefs that keep you from effective parenting and from moving ahead in your financial and personal life - and you may not even know it! In this episode, we explore six limiting beliefs common to single moms and ways to begin freeing yourself so you can take the action necessary to create the life you want.

In this intro episode, Deb introduces herself and outlines the three pillars of creating an awesome life for yourself and your kids:1) Relationship-based parenting, with an example of how to approach homework melt-downs from a focus on relationship2) Financial security (yes, it's possible!), and ...3) Changing your thoughts in order to change your actions.