Speaking to Shame

Hot sauce and Viola Davis: the potent combination that shaped my intentions for 2023!The new year is nearing ever closer, and I'm more excited to see where this journey takes me than I think I've ever been.As I endeavor to follow my inner knowing and stop using outward indicators to measure up, I'm going to take you along with me. Want to join?Here's to growing without “should's” in our way! ✨HAPPY HEALING MY FRIEND!✨LOOK AT YOU, HEALING YOUR SHIT! ✨

Mr. Logan Roe has a lot to say:-Emotions are cool.-Dad's are totally capable of being emotionally present with their kids.-Saying “I love you” to those we love matters.-Toxic masculinity is a problematic placeholder for real emotional validation and love.-We are our guardians; all the little kids living in us can look to grown up us to guard and protect us.Listen on for Logan's powerful discussion around parenting and emotional regulation.Find him on Instagram @heymrroe and @themindfulgamer LOOK AT YOU, HEALING YOUR SHIT! ✨

Writings from a shame slayer; a mix of poetry, 2 a.m. notes-to-self, instagram captions, and post-therapy emotions.✨Happy healing, my friend.✨LOOK AT YOU, HEALING YOUR SHIT! ✨

Did you know Frozen 2 had so much to say about healing, inner-knowing, and becoming a loving parent to yourself?Listen for a discussion of Frozen 2's song “Show Yourself” and all the ways it made me (and now maybe you, too) cry in the middle of the theater!Much love and gratitude for your listen and download! Don't forget to rate and share Speaking to Shame, and follow the link below

Maternal mental health IS HEALTH.⚠️CW: Talk of suicidal thoughts/ideations and intrusive thoughts ⚠️On today's episode, I sat down with Karla Carlston, CEO and founder of J.O.T. Journals. Karla's mission is to get the tool of journaling into as many hands as possible. Her own journey through postpartum anxiety/depression drove her to the creation of a journal that would show all the moments in life, even the difficult ones. Karla is a survivor of postpartum anxiety and depression, and wants others to know they don't have to do it alone. Find Karla and J.O.T. at Pinners Conference this weekend!If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide due to postpartum depression, please call or text 988 for help.Additional maternal mental health resources:The Emily Effect Maternal Mental Health UtahDr. Cassidy Freitas, Ph.D.LOOK AT YOU, HEALING YOUR SHIT! ✨

Joan Gardner used muck to describe her experience with starting over after divorce. As a coach for women in the same spot, she wants you to know that your life is not over, and you aren't aloneAs you navigate the loss, you're also learning how to rebuild a life that looks different than before. In that space, it's easy to feel like an island. An island of muck, perhaps?Joan shares how she navigated all of that, as well as how she can help you do the same. She ends it all with the promise that you'll be okay. Join Joan on social media! Her Instagram, her TikTok, her Twitter, and her Facebook.Keep an eye out for her upcoming book, too!LOOK AT YOU, HEALING YOUR SHIT! ✨

What if it had a name?The knowledge you can't pretend everything is okay anymore with small talk.The mid-life crisis that has you wondering what it's all been for.The realization that you can't ignore the dysfunction around you.Like waking up and not being able to go back to sleep again.It does have a name, and you're not alone. The Dark Night of the Soul is the "wait a minute" to your life, and comes with a whole new reality. It calls for your removal from autopilot and asks you to heal along the way.Katie Hanlon guides us through the Dark Night with a surety that reminds us we're all in this together. After her own Dark Night and now, years later, Katie's walked where we're about to walk, has read a ton of research about it, and understands the jarring experiences we're living through.Join her in today's episode, and let her guide you through what the hell is going on.

What would it be like to not hate your body? ⚠️TW: Eating disorders ⚠️Cara Cifelli, a food and body image coach, wants you to know that there is peace in rejecting diet culture's rules for you, including the idea that you are the problem.In this episode, Cara discusses the ways she supports her clients in their inner knowing, and shares ways you can reject other people's rules for your body. She tells her story of battling an eating disorder, and gives us living proof that healing and body connection are possible. Cara's TikTok and InstagramLOOK AT YOU, HEALING YOUR SHIT! ✨

Erika speaks EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) and what it can do for our healing.We know and love Erika, our in house Shame Slayer! She's a:Licensed clinical professional counselor of nearly 10 yearsCEO of Greenstone CounselingEMDR Trained TherapistPUBLISHED AUTHOR (this is big, fam. HERE'S HER DAMN BOOK)Human being dedicated to helping you ✨healurshit✨Find Erika on Instagram, and again, BUY HER BOOK!My TikTok and InstaEmail me: em@helloemilystearman.comBecome a STS donor!

From me and my amygdala to you and yours

When Kobe Campbell set out on her healing journey, it was truly to stay alive. Now, years later, she has much to say on healing, connection, and the divine purpose of her life. This interview is for anyone seeking a reminder that they're not alone. It's for the person seeking answers on what healing can look like for them. And it is, especially, for the person questioning if the hard work to heal is worth the energy it takes.  You can find Kobe on Instagram and TikTok Follow along on The Healing Circle PodcastStay tuned for updates on Kobe's upcoming book with Harper Collins, coming 2023.Find me on Instagram and TiktokEmail me em@helloemilystearman.comBecome a Speaking to Shame Donor

What does an engineer-pastry chef-Thrive Coach-entrepreneur have to say about shame? Listen to find out.

WOW. Speaking to Shame is here for season two and it has GROWN! I am floored and humbled and weepy. What a journey this has been! As the podcast grows, so too do my abilities to share incredible stories and people with you. As my time investments increase, so does my need for support. If Speaking to Shame has ever helped you feel seen, I'd be honored if you donated ANY amount to the show. Here's to continued healing.

Season two of Speaking to Shame is less than a month away! Here's a glimpse of what to look forward to. More experts, more helpers and healers, more human beings just like you and me, ready to remind you that you are not alone.With much love and less shame,Em

I know it's heavy and heartbreaking to think about children being harmed. It sucks. Deeply.

The fight to feel valid, supported, and seen is one the queer community knows well. I sat down with Cameron Stearman for a vulnerable, authentic conversation about his experience with that fight. Cameron shares his story of growing up gay, his fight for validity, love, and acceptance, and the shame that lived with him in that place. ⚠️TW: discussion of suicidal thoughts/ideation, self-harm, and coming out to parents/family. If any of these themes are difficult for you to sit through, please go mindfully into this episode.⚠️This episode is a beautiful glimpse into queer adolescence; the butterflies-in-your-stomach, "will they like me back?" period so many of us know, but with the added heartbreak of navigating homophobia. If you're interested in connecting with Cameron, find him on Instagram or Twitter. Find me here or here, or email me em@helloemilystearman.comP.S. YOU ARE VALID AND YOUR WORTH IS UNTOUCHABLE.

No, you read that right. The Vagus Nerve is a big old chunk, in charge of things like:-digestion-heart rate-respiration-activation of your parasympathetic nervous systemAKA it is IMPORTANT.  AND YOU HAVE ONE!Tuning into vagus nerve stimulation can help reduce the sympathetic stress response! Meaning, learning about this awesome part of your anatomy is an additional, shameless tool in your mental health tool box.Join me on today's Speaking to Shame episode, where we'll talk about the tool that is the vagus nerve. Find me on Instagram or TikTok, yeah? Also: em@helloemilystearman.comAdded August of 2022: WOW. Speaking to Shame has GROWN! I am floored and humbled and weepy. What a journey this has been! As the podcast grows, so too do my abilities to share incredible stories and people with you. As my time investments increase, so does my need for support. If Speaking to Shame has ever helped you feel seen, I'd be honored if you donated ANY amount to the show. Here's to continued healing.

What got you through the hardships of your childhood?When Tammica Dowd was young and living in a group home, at times she'd be locked in a closet by a counselor. In order to keep her mind strong and pass time, she envisioned what she wanted for her future.-Graduate high school.-Marry her dream guy.-Have five children who'd never go through what she went through.-Go to Maui.-Win a Grammy.All her goals but one were achieved! (But don't count her out for that Grammy.)She did not see divorce coming. Now, as a single mother of five young children, she has advice and experience to share, including how helping her children through life events has allowed for personal healing.Sometimes healing comes with helping someone through the experience that caused our trauma. Join me and Tammica Dowd, as she speaks to the shame of single motherhood.Tammica's blog Tammica's InstagramFind Tammica on Clubhouse: @tammicadowdJoin Tammica on PinterestTammica's TwitterFor questions regarding the show, or discussion on previous episodes, please contact em@helloemilystearman.comAdded August of 2022: WOW. Speaking to Shame has GROWN! I am floored and humbled and weepy. What a journey this has been! As the podcast grows, so too do my abilities to share incredible stories and people with you. As my time investments increase, so does my need for support. If Speaking to Shame has ever helped you feel seen, I'd be honored if you donated ANY amount to the show. Here's to continued healing.

GUESS WHO'S BACK?Erika Nordfelt, our in-house shame slayer, is back for a conversation on shame! Erika, an LCPC with almost nine years of experience, is the CEO of Greenstone Counseling in Rexburg Idaho. She loves shame in the same way we all do; the unpacking of it and speaking to it way.Get a comfy seat and a tasty snack and join us for an easy conversation on shame, worth, and healing.

⚠️TRIGGER WARNING: Childhood sexual abuse disclosures and descriptions⚠️Dear Survivors.You are brave, but I'm sorry you've had to be. I believe you. You're safe to share your story here.There is no more shame in surviving.Love, EmP.S. For those who listen to this who are not survivors, thank you for sitting with us. Remember that survivors are people you know and love. InstagramTikTokem@helloemilystearman.comAdded August of 2022: WOW. Speaking to Shame has GROWN! I am floored and humbled and weepy. What a journey this has been! As the podcast grows, so too do my abilities to share incredible stories and people with you. As my time investments increase, so does my need for support. If Speaking to Shame has ever helped you feel seen, I'd be honored if you donated ANY amount to the show. Here's to continued healing.

"Dear Diary, today I spoke with one of my heroes, KC Davis."That's how I'd tell my diary that LPC, TikTok creator, author and founder of Struggle Care, KC Davis, was on my podcast.I was drowning in shame and anxiety at the start of the pandemic. Everywhere I looked were diapers, unfinished tasks, and reminders that I no longer had it in me to fake it. Even if it made me a lazy, gross person (IT DID NOT EVER), I couldn't muster up the energy or focus to have a "clean" home anymore.Cue KC Davis, or Domesticblisters on TikTok. KC was a mom, licensed professional counselor, and human being with her own experiences with mental health impacting care tasks.She quickly became a favorite follow of mine. I was regularly sending her videos to family and friends, going “SHE GETS IT.”Because she DOES. She understands the underlying shame surrounding our output, the state of our homes, the state of our physical bodies, and speaks to the unfair ways in which labor is so often divided up in households.She's been featured in places like Momtastic, UPworthy, The Washington Post, is an Amazon Bestselling Author, and has created an informed, educational place for people who feel like they're drowning.StruggleCare has become a way in which countless people have worked through shame to find self-kindness and functionality. I'm beyond amazed that I got to sit down with her and speak to the shame around care tasks and surviving with less shame.Find KC HERETikTokInstagramBuy her bookConnect with Emily and the STS community here or hereORemail me em@helloemilystearman.comAdded August of 2022: WOW. Speaking to Shame has GROWN! I am floored and humbled and weepy. What a journey this has been! As the podcast grows, so too do my abilities to share incredible stories and people with you. As my time investments increase, so does my need for support. If Speaking to Shame has ever helped you feel seen, I'd be honored if you donated ANY amount to the show. Here's to continued healing.

“At one point in your life you're gonna either shit your pants as an adult, or not be able to wipe your butt as an adult, and I'm here for you for either of those experiences.”  -Emily StearmanIn episode 20 of STS, I share my most recent shame spiral, and some lessons I learned from the surviving of that. Keep in mind, all these pontifications come months after the start of the spiral, and are greatly due to the introspection my therapist makes me use. If you enjoyed any part of this episode, tune back in next Friday for an all new episode of STS! Come hang out with me on Instagram or TikTok where I am much more awkward and fashionable.Got a thought? Email me em@helloemilystearman.comAdded August of 2022: WOW. Speaking to Shame has GROWN! I am floored and humbled and weepy. What a journey this has been! As the podcast grows, so too do my abilities to share incredible stories and people with you. As my time investments increase, so does my need for support. If Speaking to Shame has ever helped you feel seen, I'd be honored if you donated ANY amount to the show. Here's to continued healing.

“We don't talk about Bruno (money)” When was the last time your dinner conversation revolved around how much money you made? Or, how much money you want to make?Brooklyn Jolley, business and money mindset coach and six figure earner, walks us through her beliefs about money and the shame revolving around it. We talk about:-How our childhood lessons around money are still impacting us today.-The shame around wanting to make more money.-How reframing the way we speak about money holds power.-Overcoming money blocks.-Money as an amplifier; it just makes you more of who you are.When we don't talk about money, the shame and stigma around it live on. Brooklyn discusses in detail the change we can each make surrounding our thoughts on money. 

Join my husband and me as we follow up on one of STS's most-listened to episodes, Dear Shame, Sincerely Divorce.

BACK AGAIN, BABY!On today's episode of STS, I update you on why Speaking to Shame took a little break. AND THEN… I share my impactful interview with Dr. Taelor. It's powerful, personal, and funny. If you're a trauma survivor, Dr. Taelor's episode facilitate's safety to learn and be heard while providing you with tools to continue your healing journey.Taelor holds many roles & passions such as advocate, recovering perfectionist, spiritual goofball, podcast host, entrepreneur, mashed potato enthusiast, Doctor of Occupational Therapy, & complex trauma survivor.  She currently runs her own primarily online business where she provides 1:1 coaching for adult survivors of childhood trauma, and breaks down barriers for trauma education in a holistic and accessible way to companies and survivors. Taelor is on a mission to change the way that trauma and mental health is treated and understood in society- and believes that each and every one of us are on our own Overcoming journey in life + can benefit from tools to grow. She has endured a lot of overcoming of shame in her own journey, personally and professionally, to get to where she is today.It was a joy to connect with Taelor, and has continued to be a joy to see her grow as more survivors find her work. Connect with her here:

What do a water bottle, text books, and hundreds of feeling words have in common?They were all in Nathan Stearman's backpack for years!On this STS episode, I chat with Microbiologist Nathan Stearman about his feelings. (Oh, did I mention Nathan is my husband?

❓Where did the shame you carry come from? ❓Are you giving it away?❓Is shame being passed down in your family?These and so many other things are what Erika teaches us about on this week's Speaking to Shame episode! Erika Nordfelt has been a licensed professional counselor for eight years. She's CEO of Greenstone Counseling in Rexburg, Idaho. Erika has always been a people person and feels very honored to help others with their most personal struggles. She believes all people are trying the best they can and honors being a part of the vulnerable and brave parts of people's stories. Her website. Find her on Instagram.Here to remind you who you were before shame said you weren't enough.em@helloemilystearman.com or Em's instagram.Added August of 2022: WOW. Speaking to Shame has GROWN! I am floored and humbled and weepy. What a journey this has been! As the podcast grows, so too do my abilities to share incredible stories and people with you. As my time investments increase, so does my need for support. If Speaking to Shame has ever helped you feel seen, I'd be honored if you donated ANY amount to the show. Here's to continued healing.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

It's 2022 and time to start having the difficult conversations.Earlobes, Encanto, Applebee's Wonton Tacos, and compliments are all part of today's episode!Reminder: Your worth is untouchable!Second reminder: You're incredible!Speaking to Shame is hosted by Emily Stearman. You can find me on Instagram, TikTok, or email me em@helloemilystearman.comAdded August of 2022: WOW. Speaking to Shame has GROWN! I am floored and humbled and weepy. What a journey this has been! As the podcast grows, so too do my abilities to share incredible stories and people with you. As my time investments increase, so does my need for support. If Speaking to Shame has ever helped you feel seen, I'd be honored if you donated ANY amount to the show. Here's to continued healing.

Join me as I speak to some of the shame of surviving.

Another week, more shame to speak to!

When you think of Thanksgiving, do you think of shame?  SHOCKER, RIGHT. We're talking about shame?! Speaking to ✨Holiday Shame✨It shows up in a lot of ways, many we don't even understand or notice!  Join me for EPISODE TEN (

Vulnerability and dirt: what do they have in common? That's exactly the question Erika Nordfelt answers on the newest episode of Speaking to Shame!

If you are tuning in with thoughts or feelings around ending your life, or thoughts of wanting a break, rest in a permanent way, please know you are not alone.Please know there IS another option. Please know you are deserving of love and  belonging and consideration. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available 24/7 988 (updated in July of 2022.)Reach out to a family member or friend, a colleague, reach out here; let someone know that you're struggling, that you're aching, that you're carrying a heavy load. There is another option. 

When Emily and Nathan lost their way to each other, vulnerability saved them. In this episode of STS, I interview my husband Nathan about our near-divorce in the summer of 2020. Now, over a year later, we are healing and growing! Though, the role shame played in our heartbreak was undeniable. With time and lots of shame resilience work, we're able to see much clearer the paths that lead us to where we ended up, and the shame that was our companion along the way. We hope our story brings light to the deeply personal experience of marital struggle that countless others live through.

HOW did we get here? How are we buying products sold to us using shame? How are we trading shame like currency? How are we using shame to relate to other people? ❓I dive into these questions and more, in episode six of STS.

We do the mom things; what about feeling the mom feelings?

Join me for the first in a series: Let's Talk Tools. 

The shame we feel about the space we take up-- let's talk about that. P.S. Diet culture is wrong, society's beauty standards are not representative of actual people, and you really, truly, absolutely and without a doubt, are enough as you are.

In episode two of STS, I interview licensed therapist Erika Nordfelt. We dive into emoji's, t-shirt slogans, and the isolating feeling of shame.This episode is jam-packed with wisdom and relatability.  Erika gives real tools to aid in the fight against shame, and I say "YES" a lot, because it's just THAT GOOD.

This is the PB and J start to Speaking to Shame. Join me, your host, Emily Stearman, for the why behind the STS movement. You can find Em on Instagram @helloemilystearman, where she is a human holding it together with heaps of grace and snacks she doesn't share with her two children. She and her husband can be found dancing in the kitchen, parenting together, cooking dinner, or going on the hikes she pretends to like because she wants her husband to feel loved.