This is your show to discuss open relationships, the swinger lifestyle, consensual non-monogamy - however you describe it, we’re here to talk about it. Your podcast is hosted by John and Jackie Melfi, the force behind the industry famous colette swingers clubs and the award-winning blog Openlove101.com. With over 20 years of combined experience in open relationships and coaching thousands of couples, they are here to share with you the trials, tribulations, passion, and positivity of love and the lifestyle.
Jealousy in Relationships: How to Talk About It | John & Jackie | OpenLove101 Jealousy isn't just one emotion—it's a mix of fear, anger, and vulnerability. In this video, John and Jackie from OpenLove101.com dive into the emotional complexity of jealousy and how couples can navigate it with open, honest communication. They share personal stories and explore how different people process jealousy in unique ways. Discover how understanding your emotional triggers—and embracing the idea of compersion (joy in your partner's joy)—can actually strengthen your relationship.
How Single Men Can Succeed in Swingers Clubs | Tips from John & Jackie | OpenLove101 Filmed during Mardi Gras in New Orleans, John and Jackie from OpenLove101.com dive into what single men need to know before stepping into swingers clubs like Colette. From respectful etiquette to building genuine connections, they offer practical advice for creating positive experiences in the lifestyle. Learn why starting with friendly conversation—not propositions—is key, how to approach couples with kindness, and why emotional intelligence goes a long way in forming both friendships and intimate connections.
Curious about an open lifestyle with your partner? Ever thought about what it's like to embrace intimacy, trust, and communication in new ways? Let's explore it together!
In this candid conversation, John and Jackie from Openlove101 dive into how relationship dynamics evolve over time—especially in open and non-traditional partnerships. They share real-life experiences of how initial excitement around adventurous intimacy (like inviting others into the bedroom) can shift into feelings of jealousy and insecurity as emotional bonds deepen. From skydiving metaphors to intimate storytelling, they explore how emotional responses change, how communication is the glue that holds it all together, and why embracing uncomfortable feelings—like jealousy—can actually lead to growth, trust, and a stronger connection.
Discover the hidden truth about partner jealousy in open relationships! Ever struggled with feelings of control when your partner is with someone else? In this raw and honest video, I share my personal journey from experiencing intense anxiety to finding peace and excitement in open relationships. Want to know how I transformed those uncomfortable feelings of jealousy into genuine excitement for my partner's experiences? I break down the exact steps that helped me overcome my fears, including practical communication strategies and mindset shifts that changed everything. You'll learn: • Why jealousy is often about control, not love • How to identify and address your true fears • Practical steps to build trust and confidence • The power of open communication with your partner • Ways to turn anxiety into excitement Whether you're new to open relationships or experienced in the lifestyle, this video offers valuable insights into managing emotions and building stronger connections. Ready to transform your relationship experience? #OpenRelationships #RelationshipAdvice #Lifestyle #CouplesGrowth #Partnership #Trust #Communication #selfimprovement #openrelationship #personaldevelopment #mentalhealth #relationshipfears CHAPTERS: 00:00 - Intro 01:10 - John's Journey to Acceptance in Polyamory 02:46 - Overcoming Fears of Losing Control 06:57 - Coping with Partner's Outside Relationships 09:02 - Managing Jealousy and Insecurity 10:10 - Strategies for Emotional Resilience 11:19 - Reaction to Partner's Return Home 12:18 - Navigating Feelings with Partner 12:53 - Emotions After Partner's Infidelity 14:08 - Processing Betrayal and Trust Issues 14:35 - Understanding Feelings of Deception 14:59 - Healing from Cheating Experiences 15:44 - Long-term Effects of Infidelity 16:20 - Moving Forward After Betrayal
In today's throwback episode, John and Jackie talk about visiting a swingers club as a single woman! They discuss expectations, ways to break the ice, and how to make the most of your experience inside of a lifestyle club! Curious about an open lifestyle with your partner?…Let's explore it together :)
Debunking 5 brutal myths about open relationships!
In this throwback episode, John and Jackie talk about dealing with fear and jealousy in an Open Relationship. Do you throw in the towel and call it quits? Or figure out a game plan on what you can do in the future if it happens again and how to move forward from here. Curious about an open lifestyle with your partner?…Let's explore it together :)
Curious about non-monogamy? Join us for a fascinating journey through 40 years of open relationships! Ever wondered how someone's upbringing shapes their view on sex and love? John shares his eye-opening experiences from Catholic school rebel to swinger club owner. You'll be surprised by his candid stories of threesomes, roller rink hookups, and personal growth! Want to explore open relationships with your partner? This video is packed with insights on honesty, boundaries, and self-discovery. Learn how therapy and sobriety transformed John's approach to intimacy and trust. Discover the secrets of maintaining healthy connections in the swinging lifestyle! Ready to dive deeper into the world of ethical non-monogamy? Subscribe to our channel for more open discussions on threesomes, swinging, and alternative relationships. Visit openlove101.com for exclusive content, free guides, and info on our private community. Let's explore the open lifestyle together! #non-monogamyjourney #sexualidentityexploration #authenticrelating #relationshipadvice #openrelationship CHAPTERS: 00:00 - Intro 00:38 - John's Upbringing 04:54 - Parents Influence on Childhood 08:59 - Alcohol and Sexuality Impact 10:51 - Early Sexual Experiences 12:49 - Sobriety and Sex Life Transformation 16:19 - Importance of Boundaries in Relationships 19:10 - Inner Work and Sexual Well-being 20:47 - Recap of Key Insights 21:54 - Final Thoughts on Personal Growth 23:04 - Join Our Email List & Openlove 101 Plus
In this throwback episode, John and Jackie talk about "Coming Out" to your kids. They discuss the intense feelings, navigating having an intimate conversation with you children, and knowing when it is the right time to tell them. Curious about an open lifestyle with your partner?…Let's explore it together :)
Our First Lifestyle Experience: Raw and Unfiltered
In this throwback episode, John and Jackie talk about Overcoming Fear in Open Relationships (A Different POV)! They discuss the early stages of the relationship, how you are taught to feel, when to go ahead, and when to pump the breaks! Curious about an open lifestyle with your partner?…Let's explore it together :)
The TRUTH about swingers clubs? It's not what you think! Ever wondered what really goes on behind those doors? Surprise - it's not just for swingers! Curious about an open lifestyle with your partner? Let's explore it together :) Discover how these clubs offer a safe, respectful space for everyone - even if you're not looking to swap! Tune in to learn why couples love the sexy atmosphere, open conversations, and judgment-free zone. Did you know many go just for the vibe? It's true! Want to spice things up without crossing boundaries? These clubs might be your answer! Learn how they can boost communication, trust, and intimacy in your relationship. Ready to see your partner in a new light? Explore the unexpected benefits of the lifestyle scene. You'll be surprised what you discover about yourself and your relationship! Subscribe now for more eye-opening content on open relationships, swinging, and everything in between. Let's break those taboos together! #openrelationship #authenticrelating #love #swingers #whatislove CHAPTERS: 00:00 - Intro 00:18 - Swingers Clubs for Everyone 02:23 - Safe Space for Women in Swinging 06:01 - Seeing Your Partner Differently 09:19 - Sexual Conversations Without Sex 12:57 - Join the Openlove101 Email List 13:11 - Openlove101 Newsletter Overview
In this throwback episode, John and Jackie talk about the self care through self empathy and giving yourself a break. They discuss the intense feelings, both positive and negative, that come with being in the lifestyle and how to manage both sides of the coin! Curious about an open lifestyle with your partner?…Let's explore it together :)
The ugly truth about open relationships? It's NOT cheating! Join John and Jackie as they tackle the biggest misconception about ethical non-monogamy head-on. Ever wonder why people automatically assume open relationships are about cheating? We're breaking down the real difference between consensual non-monogamy and infidelity. Discover how trust, honest communication, and mutual respect are actually the foundation of successful open relationships. Ready to challenge your assumptions about love and commitment? We share our 12+ years of experience navigating the open lifestyle, proving that love isn't about exclusivity - it's about honesty and trust. Learn why the physical and emotional aspects of relationships don't have to be wrapped together, and how different relationship models can work for different people. Whether you're curious about open relationships or simply want to understand them better, this candid discussion reveals why judgment and assumptions about other people's relationships never tell the whole story. We're sharing real talk about commitment, love, and what makes relationships truly work - no matter what model you choose. Want to dive deeper into conversations about ethical non-monogamy? Visit us at openlove101.com and join our community of open-minded individuals exploring authentic relationships together. #cheatingmisconceptions #openrelationship #love #relationshipadvice #ismonogamynatural CHAPTERS: 00:00 - Intro 00:34 - Open Relationships & Cheating Assumptions 04:17 - Open Relationships & Failure Myths 08:11 - Love in Open Relationships 09:36 - Misconceptions: Open Relationships & Sex 12:44 - Understanding Cheating 16:16 - Open vs. Monogamous Relationships 18:45 - Open Level 101 Plus 19:11 - Sign Up for Our Email List
In this throwback episode, John and Jackie discuss how to defuse arguments within the lifestyle. They discuss how most arguments are rooted in fear of the unknown and how to find a way to work through that fear in order to communicate with your partner. Curious about an open lifestyle with your partner?…Let's explore it together :)
John and Jackie commemorate a decade of OpenLove101, reflecting on their journey in the world of consensual non-monogamy advocacy. They share memorable moments, challenges, and triumphs while emphasizing the growth of their community and its impact on relationships worldwide. From their early days blogging to becoming prominent voices in their field, this episode celebrates their passion for education, connection, and empowerment.
In this throwback episode, John and Jackie talk about the Swinging Lifestyle Highs and Lows! They discuss the intense feelings, both positive and negative, that come with being in the lifestyle and how to manage both sides of the coin! Curious about an open lifestyle with your partner?…Let's explore it together :)
In this episode, John and Jackie dive deep into the fascinating world of hotel takeovers and conventions in the lifestyle community. They share essential tips for preparation, settingboundaries, meeting new people, and maximizing your experience at these unique events. Whether you're a seasoned attendee or considering your first event, this episode is packed with insights to make your next hotel takeover unforgettable!
In this throwback episode, John and Jackie discuss dealing with the pressure of visiting a Swingers Club. They most common answer for why people do not go to a swingers club is because they feel an overwhelming pressure to either find a play partner or fit in with the crowd. Today, John and Jackie discuss these fears and more! Tune into learn how to handle these situations with grace and maintain respectful, loving communication.
In this throwback episode, John and Jackie discuss feel confident in embracing your bi-sexuality while attending a swingers club! They discuss the change over time with people embracing their sexuality at swinger clubs. Tune into learn how to handle these situations with grace and maintain respectful, loving communication.
In this episode, we tackle a difficult but important topic: "What happens when couples in the swinger lifestyle go through a breakup or divorce?" We dive into the unique challenges faced by those who continue to attend the same parties, events, and clubs after their relationship ends. We also discuss the double standards people face in open relationships compared to monogamous ones and how to navigate friendships and shared spaces post-breakup. Tune into learn how to handle these situations with grace and maintain respectful, loving communication.
In this throwback episode, John and Jackie discuss the definition of Swinging and what is really means! Is Swinging what mainstream media paints it to be or is there something more to it? Tune into learn how to handle these situations with grace and maintain respectful, loving communication.
Join John and Jackie in this engaging episode as they dive into the diverse world of open relationships. Today they're exploring 14 different varieties of open and swinger relationships. They discuss the nuances and dynamics of each relationship model, shedding light on terms like ethical non-monogamy, polyamory, and kitchen table polyamory. Whether you're curious about these concepts or looking to understand how different relationship structures work, this episode is packed with information that will both educate and entertain you. Don't miss out on this comprehensive guide to alternative relationship styles!
In this throwback episode, John and Jackie discuss the most common fear they hear from other's in the lifestyle. The Fear of Being Honest Tune into learn how to handle these situations with grace and maintain respectful, loving communication.
In today's episode, we're diving into a question from one of our Openlove101+ members: "How do you smoothly transition to playtime with another couple at a club?" This is a scenario many couples face, and we're here to offer some practical advice and share our personal experiences. Whether it's your first time or you're a seasoned pro, we'll discuss the nuances of creating organic opportunities for connection, managing expectations, and ensuring clear communication with your partner. Tune in to learn how to navigate these exciting moments and enhance your lifestyle experience.
In this throwback episode, John and Jackie discuss how the Swinging Lifestyle is different in different cultures! They discuss the difference and similarities they have experienced first hand on their travels living in the lifestyle. Tune into learn how to handle these situations with grace and maintain respectful, loving communication.
In this episode, John and Jackie are tackling some tough questions from their viewers about navigating boundaries in open relationships. "What do you do when your partner is interested in playing with another couple, but you're not?" And how do you handle shifting boundaries when one partner isn't comfortable with the change? John and Jackie share their personal experiences, practical advice, and the importance of communication and respect in maintaining a healthy relationship. Whether you're new to the lifestyle or a seasoned participant, this episode offers valuable insights into handling these common dilemmas.
In this throwback episode, John and Jackie discuss how the topic of "consent" has changed over the years. They discuss the importance of both nonverbal and verbal consent, respecting someone's answer if they consent or not, and how everyone should respect consent in any situation. Tune into learn how to handle these situations with grace and maintain respectful, loving communication.
In this episode, John and Jackie dive into the exciting world of keeping relationships spicy and vibrant. They explore how introducing new experiences, whether it's through food, activities, or even new people, can bring a fresh spark to long-term relationships. They discuss the importance of novelty in maintaining intimacy and connection, sharing personal anecdotes and practical tips on how to keep things interesting. From trying new restaurants to playing relationship-enhancing games, this episode is packed with ideas to help you and your partner stay connected and energized.
Join John and Jackie as they discuss how the relationship advice they give for non-monogamy helps their monogamous friends in their relationship! Whether you're new to the lifestyle or a seasoned participant, this episode is packed with enlightening information and plenty of laughs. Tune in and expand your swinger vocabulary with us!
Join John and Jackie as they dive into the fascinating world of swinger terminology. Ever wondered what terms like "unicorn," "soft swap," or "airtight" mean? Join us as we play a fun game hosted by Courtney, where we define and discuss various terms used in the lifestyle. We share our reactions, insights, and some hilarious moments along the way. Whether you're new to the lifestyle or a seasoned participant, this episode is packed with enlightening information and plenty of laughs. Tune in and expand your swinger vocabulary with us!
Join John and Jackie in this blast from the past episode as they discuss what to do when you have a bad experience inside a lifestyle club or swinger party! If you have ever had a bad experience, you are not alone! Through out the years, many of our followers have reached out with their own stories and asking for advice when the night does not go as planned. So be sure to listen or watch this episode and see what you can do if you find yourself in a similar situation!
John and Jackie dive into the important topic of body image within the lifestyle community. They share insights on how everyone, regardless of their appearance, can find a place and feel accepted in lifestyle clubs, parties, and events. John and Jackie discuss common concerns from those new to the lifestyle, emphasizing that attraction is diverse and subjective. They highlight the inclusivity and acceptance found in lifestyle spaces, contrasting it with the often judgmental atmosphere of mainstream nightclubs. This episode is a must-listen for anyone feeling apprehensive about their appearance and considering joining the lifestyle community.
Can swinging be a solution to marriage issues? Today we talk about a married couple who are having some challenges in their relationship and decided to try something different to see if it could help. The husband suggested they open up their relationship and see other people, which is something completely new and different for them. But what about the fears and concerns that come from that as they explore this new option? Things like insecurity, managing communication, and the importance of focusing on the positives and not just the negatives. Let's dive deeper into this couple's situation and talk about it!
In this episode, we sit down with the dynamic duo from The Swing Nation, Dan and Lacy, to hear about their incredible journey within the lifestyle. We kick things off with a fun chat about how they first met as a unicorn and a bull. Dan and Lacy share the story of their relationship's evolution from casual encounters to a deep, loving connection, all while navigating the complexities of non-monogamy. We discuss the challenges and triumphs of maintaining an open relationship, including how they dealt with jealousy, set boundaries, and eventually found a balance that works for them. We also touch on their unexpected rise to fame on TikTok and how their openness about their lifestyle has impacted not just their lives but also the wider community. This episode is packed with insights on love, communication, and the importance of being true to yourself in any relationship.
In today's blast from the past episode, John and Jackie discuss different types of Open Relationships. From Swinging Relationships to Myths to Emotional Attachments! This short podcast is the perfect introduction to the different types of Open Relationships! Curious about an open lifestyle with your partner?…Let's explore it together :)
In today's episode, we dive into the exhilarating yet sometimes challenging topic of New Relationship Energy (NRE). We discuss the powerful emotions that arise when you meet someone new and how it can impact you and your partner. Whether you're new to open relationships or a seasoned pro, NRE can catch you off guard. We share personal experiences and practical tips to help you understand, embrace, and navigate these feelings with your partner. Join us as we explore how NRE can be a positive experience, offering joy and excitement, while also addressing the insecurities and fears that might arise. This episode is all about turning NRE into an opportunity for growth and deeper connection.
John and Jackie answer a follower submitted question in today's episode! "Have You Ever Faced Discrimination in the Swingers Lifestyle?" In today's episode, they discuss their experience with people judging their relationship and how they deal with the stigma that comes from being in a "non-traditional" relationship. Curious about an open lifestyle with your partner?…Let's explore it together :)
John and Jackie explore the transformative power of setting boundaries in relationships from a positive perspective. Instead of focusing on what we don't want, we discuss how emphasizing what we are comfortable with can foster a more supportive and exciting partnership. Join us as we share practical tips and personal experiences on creating positive boundaries that enhance intimacy and connection.
John and Jackie sit down in this blast from the past episode and talk about Swinging in the Lifestyle and a few questions they received regarding swinging alone. They share about their journey navigating through the lifestyle and how they have grown as a couple. Curious about an open lifestyle with your partner?…Let's explore it together :)
As owners of lifestyle clubs, we hear all the common complaints from members about single guys, so we figured we make a video and share some things NOT to do as a single male at swingers clubs. AVOID these at all costs if you want to connect and play well with others! Curious about an open lifestyle with your partner?…Let's explore it together :)
In this episode, John and Jackie tackle various aspects of navigating the swinging lifestyle based on questions from their audience. "How do I deal with the emotional challenges in witnessing my partner's satisfaction with someone else outside group scenarios?" Listen in for practical advice on handling attraction dilemmas, emphasizing communication and individual comfort levels in play situations.
We went to an incredible open relationship workshop in Austin, Texas called "True Sex and Wild Love" and here is recap in case you missed it! (And yes we talk about the pink thing.) The event was hosted by Aubrey Marcus, CEO of Onnit, a company that makes and markets nutritional supplements, fitness equipment, and more in the spirit of optimizing human performance, and his fiance Whitney Miller, who is a relationship coach. (And they both happen to be in an open relationship.) The guest speaker at their event was Dr. Wednesday Martin, author of the award-winning book "Untrue: Why Nearly Everything We Believe About Women, Lust, and Infidelity Is Wrong and How the New Science Can Set Us Free". It was incredible to hear Dr. Martin talk about the benefits of open relationships from her scientific perspective and the research about the critical time period when monogamous couples seek variety (is it the man or woman?!). And finally of course, we talk about this mysterious pink thing. Curious about an open lifestyle with your partner?…Let's explore it together :)
In this episode, John and Jackie dive into a conversation about the positive impact of the lifestyle on women. Jackie reflects on the acceptance and camaraderie among women in the lifestyle, where competition is replaced by celebration. They explore how consensual non-monogamy can empower women, providing a platform for sexual growth, independence, and breaking free from societal constraints.
Want to have your cake and eat it too? Well, it takes two to tango. But, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. And, that's enough old proverbs (for now) :) Being in a swinging or poly relationship DOES take consent and understanding from all parties involved, but how do you do that? Well, we've got the video for you because that's the question we address today! Let the discussion begin!
In today's episode, John and Jackie discuss the common experience of handling rejection and dealing with canceled dates. They explore the emotional impact of these situations, sharing personal anecdotes and insights on how to navigate the complexities of dating in both single and married life. The discussion emphasizes the importance of not jumping to conclusions, maintaining open communication, and learning from rejection experiences. John and Jackie offer practical advice for those new to the lifestyle, encouraging a positive outlook and resilience in the face of canceled plans.
When it comes to consent, what's usually discussed is getting consent from the person with whom you would like to have a physical interaction. What's not talked about as much is giving consent to your partner on what you're comfortable with them doing with others so that they don't cross any boundaries you may have. The tricky part to this whole thing is doing it without being too controlling or possessive. After all, shouldn't each person have the right to their own body and actions? (You're not the boss of me!) Let the discussion begin!
You know what they say, "The only thing constant is change." And that includes playing with couples in our open marriage. How it started is not how it is today. How we go about it. What we do while we're playing. The things we think about. The things we do with our partner. What's ok and what's not. Check it out!
In this episode, John and Jackie explore the concept of transforming negative experiences in the lifestyle into valuable learning opportunities. The conversation revolves around handling discomfort, setting boundaries, and fostering positive communication within the swinging community. Reflecting on past experiences, Jackie shares personal insights on the significance of being an advocate for oneself. The discussion touches on the challenges of vocalizing boundaries and preferences, highlighting the evolution of communication skills over time.
Open Relationship Advice: How To Handle Fear & Jealousy John and Jackie answer a follower submitted question in this week's episode! Do you have any advice or techniques to help alleviate self-doubt and stress and is it common for the wife to take the leadership role in the lifestyle adventure? Listen hear John and Jackie's answer!
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