Unbreakable Podcast with Thom Shea

Stop watching other people.  You will never get good while watching because your perspective is different.  Get into living your life from your Point Of View.

Erik Weir and Thom Shea talk about Unbreakable and Three Simple Things.  And how to Transition from war to civilian life.

Warrior Wisdom.  How would you live one more day?  What would you life be like if you didn't have to deal with your past or have to build toward your future?  What if you had just this day?

The disillusioned human condition of being told things are other than they are.  The constant deception of the people by the media and by many politicians has caused our youth to not be capable of simple things that matter.

  Few of us even know freedom anymore. Teach your kids to earn it. freedom frē′dəm noun 1.  The condition of not being in prison or captivity. 2.  The condition of being free of restraints, especially the ability to act without control or interference by another or by circumstance. 3.  The condition of not being controlled by another nation or political power; political independence.

We all misunderstand what happens during any type of communications.  The first misunderstanding is we always believe what we hear.  The ears are designed to only think what they hear are true.  However, you need to have another sense back up that notion.   That is how media dupes us all.  Nothing in the media is actually true, if you research it for facts. That is important to realize. True authentic communication first requires you to   Listen without judgement (listen not believing in order to free them up from their past so they can be present) Speak without drama (drama is uncommitted words that cause both people to lose interest and not be present) Get clarity (that means interrupt if you don't know what they are saying and to ask them to repeat what you said) Those three points are authentic communications

Suffering is when you think things should be different.  When you think the struggle isn't what you need to do.  

The ability to build a strong relationship is simple but not easy. All you need are three simple things: Listen without judgement Speak without drama Intimacy Learn how here Spartan Training

Marriage to an alpha female makes the man stable and the family stable.  Marriage may be meant to build a stable environment so that each and grow and transform into their best selfs.  Submissive women never grow.

Relationships don't have to be complex.  They just have to be all in.  Nothing held back and no way out.   video can be seen on Youtube at @thomasshea

There are similarities in all success.  Thom and Erik discuss hell week and combat and parallels in business and life. https://www.thomshea.com/ 

What would you life be like if you just went for it.

listening to Joe Rogan trying to find what is toxic about masculinity.

Trying to define what toxic masculinity is in a world searching for excuses and meaning has been difficult.   A little help here!

Making complicated things simple in a complex social media world.

To thrive in each of our lives we need only be brave enough to confront our own darkness.  Running away from, medicating away from our darkness is the tragedy of our times.

The real battle is to seek a priority off efforts and never balance one thing for the others. Learn here

When you are ready to own your life you must own the I AM conversation you have with yourself and you place on others .Learn the way Follow us on LinkedIn.  @frogmanout  

Forcing women into positions for political gain will be catastrophic both on women in the long term and the military in the short term. www.thomshea.com  

Often what you don't know will change your mind about a group and a business.   www.thomshea.com

There are four levels of communication. Imagine a baseball diamond: - first base is listening without judgement - second base is speaking without drama - third base is clarify and verify - home plate is create action   This is truly Authentic Communication.  And I bet you cannot get on first base without help!

Joining forces with FullSail in Wisconsin to produce a leadership even and powerful presentation to support Veterans and their families. Sign up with the link below. https://www.eventbrite.com/e/leading-through-chaos-inspiration-and-learning-from-a-former-navy-seal-tickets-419235102477

How to Start over? 1.  Commit without knowing the solution 2.  Burn all bridges 3.  Be willing to learn and do whatever it takes 4.  Be willing to die doing it 5.  Never give up

Quite a remarkable process to look up and find the definition of various words in order to communicate better.  Would be nice to have an agreed to definition so that we all can communicate appropriately.  Wouldn't it. A man last named Cassette, said once, “As soon as certain words we all think are true are communicated the concrete melts into the abstract until none of us know what the hell we are talking about if we all do know the simple meaning of a word” Diversity the state or fact of being diverse; difference; unlikeness: Equity the quality of being fair or impartial; fairness; impartiality: Inclusion the act of including. The fun part is that old dictionaries, hard bound ones, have simple definitions.  The internet (which we now all use) has very new ones.  Wonder why they are new.  So I looked into the dates the words were redefined. In 2009 -16, these three words were redefined 5 times, on the internet under the dictionary website.  In 2021 they were changed again. If rules and definitions of exact terms can change without us noticing, without anyone calling bullshit or wanting to clarify the new meaning in day to day life we are all stuffed. If someone changed the definition of a mile from 5280 feet to 5000 because the deem it better.  I want you to let that sink in.  if the masses or a leader can redefine basics without your consent or understanding than we are all stuffed. If over night you lost 280 feet of your land and had to concede what would you do?   

11 Lost Lessons worth remembering on September 11th   The enemy of a republic always is lurking Better to stay up than to fight you way back up The Love for family, country, and your swim buddy will ultimately defeat someone who hates you Freedom earned through effort is always lost by the ones who live in it Offense is always better that defense or kneeling in fear No one ever said they practiced too much or trained too much before a life event, most say they could have done more to prepare If you think being violent doesn't solve problems you have only led a protected life Elected officials left unattended always serve themselves, and should only serve limited years There is divine hand but only when you have spent all your effort and are still trying. If you give up there is no divine hand. You are always fighting you way home. Live each day as if it matters, because it does.

Blind Spots and their impact on our every day life is a determent to success.  We all have them and few of us confront them in any meaningful way. What would you life be like if you over came your blind spots?

Motivation is the search for some external meaning or an external source to get you moving.  You know that source is rare and often doesn't last long. Inspiration is your ability to breathe life into something.  Your ability to say something is possible and of value.  Notice that you can do that whenever and where ever you want to.   When you practice inspiration you get better at taking action and better and better.

There are five ways to prepare for war. Be resilient Question the norm Learn to lead by allowing others to win At home listen, speak, and have intimacy Build someone else up www.unbreakableleadership.com

Please donate.  Your effort matters! It's a tale dating more than a century, a bitter rivalry pitting America's Elite Military Academies and service members against one another. It's the only rivalry more impactful to the nation than siblings fighting over, well, everything.   It's Army vs Navy West Point vs Annapolis Andy vs Jon Who will finish first in the Half Ironman 1.2 mile swim, 56 mile bike, and 13.1 mile run in Waco, TX this October 16?   A year of trash talking rights are on the line as Andy and Jon compete to raise $133,000 to help the veterans at Warrior Rising! Show your support for either Andy and Jon! Donations of $100 or more will receive their respective TEAM ANDY or TEAM JON t-shirt for free!   Army v Navy 2022 Challenge (Andy v Jon) - Warrior Rising

Andy v. Jon 1/2 Ironman In honor of the 133rd Army-Navy football game to be played in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania this December, two of our supporters, both former military have thrown down the gauntlet to raise support for Warrior Rising in the time-honored tradition of the rivalry pitting America's Elite Military Academies and service members against one another.  Andy Riise, West Point graduate and career Army officer vs. Jon Macaskill, retired Navy SEAL are training to compete in a Half Ironman 1.2 mile swim, 56 mile bike, and 13.1 mile run in Waco, TX this October 16 for the benefit of Warrior Rising. Support Warrior Rising and the entrepreneurs we serve by supporting Andy and Jon in their quest for Ironman supremacy.  (links below)   What is Warrior Rising primer: Founded in 2015, Warrior Rising is a non-profit started by Veterans, for Veterans. The Warrior Rising team has a singular goal: transform Veterans into Vetrepreneurs. We have achieved this through carefully selecting strategic partners in business, and leveraging a vast network of young professionals and successful entrepreneurs from a wide variety of backgrounds. The organization hosts a robust team of professionals, business owners, and experts in their fields. Since 2015 Warrior Rising has grown from a regional to a national organization with a robust outreach assisting more than 3000 veterans annually. Warrior Rising has developed sophisticated programs that leverage remote learning, built a network of mentors and coaches, and has awarded grants that will result in creating one hundred veteran-owned businesses valued at more than $1 million by 2024. The Warrior Rising team listens to veterans and provides them exactly what they need. As opposed to some non-profits, Warrior Rising doesn't give a veteran one good day… we give veterans the opportunity to earn their success and have one good life!   https://www.warriorrising.org/armyvnavy2022/

Resiliency is the key to building your future.  It can be learned and you will need it.

Take a moment and ask yourself if you really think success breeds success or does failure?   Make a list of everything  and every time you failed and what you learned from it and how you eventually succeeded.   If you want to learn the only path to success sign up for unbreakable leadership training Level one. https://www.unbreakableleadership.com

Independence Day is a time to break from tyranny and rekindle successes and friends who are the best people we know. John Doolittle and I served at SEAL Team Two before the war on terror and continue to earn our freedoms through effort and leadership. John, now, supports an organization that helps injured men and women to recover and continue with life. Check out and order a Kaatsu support system and keep in the fight. https://kaatsu.com/

Unbreakable Leadership Training Level One Fundamentals of leadership (health, wealth, intellectual, relational, and spiritual outcomes)   Overview Communication. (Listen, speak, clarity, action) Unbreakable Formula (Human code that drives all actions, associations, and results) Unbreakable Tools How to become efficient - Focus On or OFF (no partial involvement) How to solve problems - Ego and emotions as tools Execution and the 21-day Challenge   Level Two : Building a Team (Team Centered/individual performance) Level One : Fundamentals of leadership (Health, Wealth, intellectual, relational, spiritual)       Level Two Building a team (Team centered individual performance)   Overview Building a Team 6-Traits of leaders and teams Unbreakable Tools          -Fail to succeed          -Inspired Mentorship Expressed execution and the True Value of Life Formula                         Level One – Fundamentals of leadership (health, wealth, intellectual, relational, and spiritual outcomes) Who benefits from the training? Already successful leaders who want to create a legacy through their efforts to improve the lives of their teammates and their families Leaders who want to lead their best life Leaders who recognize the holistic nature of leading and teamwork Leaders must be willing to lead themselves in all areas of life   How the training works? Friday evening: The training starts at 6:30 pm and ends before 11:00 pm Saturday: The training continues at 8:00 am and concludes at midnight We engage in experiential learning and education through profound discussion and experiences that transform what was out of reach to what is now possible We teach fundamental skills and create a process to execute, ‘on a daily basis', the three simple things method.   Execution and Follow-up! 21-day challenge to build a process to execute on your goals and learn skills to overcome the pitfalls of success The process of overcoming your excuses and inertia is profound and once complete will leave you inspired for more   Outcome and Skills acquired! Achieve health, wealth, and intellectual goals in 90 days Learn efficiency in your actions Learn how emotions work Learn how to make a promise and keep it Learn how to overcome your excuses Learn what it is like to lead yourself in order to lead others               Level Two – Building a team (Holistic team support and performance based)   Building a Team 6-Traits of leaders and teams Unbreakable Tools          -Fail to succeed          -Inspired Mentorship Expressed execution and the True Value of Life Formula   Who utilizes the training? Humble Leaders committed to the lives of their teammates and their families Already successful leaders willing to mentor the lives of their teammates Leaders committed to personal growth and leaving a legacy Leaders who continue to be goal oriented   How the training works? Friday evening: The training starts at 6:30 pm and ends before 11:00 pm Saturday: The training continues at 8:00 am and concludes at midnight We engage in the uncomfortable discussions of the 6 human traits of both leading a team and how the individuals on the team lead their own lives We engage and transform how to engage the primary relationships in our lives at home, in order to, ensure a legacy of support and values service to each other. We teach fundamental skills and create a process to execute, ‘on a daily basis', the true value of actions in all aspects of your life   Execution and Follow-up! 21-day challenge to operate within a 6-hour baseline of actions You will learn failure and you will apply mentorship skills toward the success of others   Outcome and Skills acquired! Achieve health, wealth, intellectual, relational, and spiritual goals in 90 days Learn the design of how to fail to succeed Learn the process of inspired mentorship Learn how to lead others toward their expressed goals  

Lessons while in combat to my kids. 1.  Honor your word for 21 days 2.  Face your fears every week 3.  Walk for 24 hours 4.  Commit to a project with another human 5.  Kill Hope and Belief from your vocabulary 6.  Give up being Right 7.  Join a Team 8.  Mentor another human 9.  Embrace the grind 10.  Choice - pick one 11.  Overcome the Fear of dying 12.  Play big and Burn Bridges 13.  Embrace Failure as a means to succeed   www.unbreakablelessons.com  

Owning what goes on inside of you and how you filter and process the world. Internal dialogue drives every single action you do and every single decision you make even while sleeping. Bottom Line Up Front (BLUF): the Design of Human Performance Unbreakable Leadership Training is the blueprint for results in the Five Pyramids of Human Performance®.  Our training is designed around a process formula and step-by-step methodology of linear progression ... there is no other way to take complete ownership of your life.  To achieve these five results, we find it necessary to demonstrate Five “Unbreakable Tools”:  Focused Effort, Emotional Mastery, Fail to Succeed, Inspired Mentorship, and Disruption and Innovation.  While linear progression is needed, the underlying cause of greatness in every human being anywhere is to first master the two foundational principles:   Honor your word Never giving up on honoring your word Without the two foundational principles being deeply mastered and constantly applied the climb toward rapid and sustainable growth is doomed.  We will test these two aspects of human performance upfront and teach you to master them first. We are going to achieve Five Measurable Goals together.  Goals that are built on Honor Your Word and Never Giving Up.    THE UNBREAKABLE LEADERSHIP SOLUTION: Operating at 20% efficiency and capacity is both tiresome and emotionally draining.  Being out of sequence will leave you plateaued and unaware of your ultimate potential.  Not pursuing your ultimate potential every day will cause you to be unhealthy, stagnant, scarce, alone, and disconnected.  Our training will teach you to do three simple things every day in the five pyramids of performance® in order to operate at 100% capacity.    

D-Day and The Long Grey Line symbolize our nations continued excellence in war and character and effecting the lives of all those who participate in your protection.

Memorial Day is to honor those not with us with our best lives.

discussion of what hell week teaches warriors regarding the impact of quitting.

What would you do if you only had one day left?   Many of us think we have time. More time. Perhaps we are taught to put of today what matters because tomorrow May happen.   Do we have more time?   If you take time away, as a factor what would life be like? What would your today become?   Some how progress and upward mobile and a middle class, comfortable lifestyle seems to lead many of us to lazy.   Lazy is thinking today doesn't matter, the more times our parents don't wake us up the more that notion is reinforced. The snooze button is used by lazy minds who think now downs matter.   What would you do today if tomorrow wasn't happening?   Would you dress the way you do?   Would you go to school, work?   I have asked so many people that question I now realize few are programmed to even think outside of the lazy comfortable life at all costs existence.   If you asked a cancer patient if you had one day to life what would you do or become. Now those answers are unique… I would make love until my heart exploded. I would go run that hill that used to scare me. I would tell my patents I am sorry or I love them I would forgive my daughter I would go for it I would go for a walk I would want to be with family   The list from the dying was real.   But they don't have the strength anymore or the capacity to.   So I ask you what would you do now if you had no more tomorrows?   I can tell you that 10 percent of the people alive don't live as if tomorrow is for sure or even a factor.   When you are operating as a SEAL tomorrow doesn't matter. Today matters. And today there is so much to do that you can do.   Successful people, meaning the ones who earned their success and didn't steel it or take it through tax money or politics live like tomorrow isn't of concern.   Winners go for it. Not that they think they will always win but they are not willing to not go for it.   What will Change for you win you go for it? What is holding you back for this moment going all in and risking your life for the best version of your life?   Finding out who you are is the first step. Without you realizing you are an amazing human only limited by you alone, then you are just shit.   Put a goal on paper that scares the living shit out of you. It should literally make your hands shake to write it down.   There are four skills your will need to live now: Hyper focus and the off or rest button. If you do things half asses or just hammer without taking a break you have already failed Learn to embrace discomfort and problems but letting go of your emotional reactions to them. You should be ok with every issue you face and solve each one. Fail to succeed. Practice until you fail. Learn then practice until you fail again. Repeat until you arrive The forth is you need to mentor other people to support their growth not your growth. The more people your help grow the more skills you acquire   You need 3 people in your life who are committed to your goal. One to help with offensive actions, one to help with defense actions, and one to support the overall vision of the future you are creating   Then you need to execute 3 simple Things the partners support. And you cannot take a day off of these simple actions   If you ever ask yourself why then answer that question with because I am my word and I keep my promises or I die

The Two branches of Trait Alignment   In each of us we carry 6 primary traits that when exhibited determine what we say, do and cause in the world around us.  The 6 traits are separated into two branches that further align our thoughts and actions.    Your ability to know which trait is needed for various times and conditions in life will pre-determine the outcome and your ability to place the right trait into the right position in your family, you work, or on a team will also pre-determine the outcome you desire.   Not knowing the traits will cause you to faulter; cause business to die, and cause family to fall apart.   WHO   The Wolf Pack                                      The Shepherd's Herd The Alpha                                                The Shepherd The Beta                                                  The Sheep dog The Omega                                               The Sheep   GOAL   Growth of the individual                            Growth of the Shepherd's herd Growth of the pack                                    Acquiring land to produce more sheep Allowing perfection in skills                       Maintaining the norm of the herd Decentralized Authority                             Centralized Authority Individual Responsibility                            Sheep Dog responsibility Irreplaceable individuals                            All are replaceable except the Shepherd All skills are shared up and down                Sheep dog is afforded skills Mindset is build the pack                            Mindset is do what you are told Philosophy is “Prove it/earn it”                   Philosophy is “moral high ground”   SUCCESS METRICS   Support the pack                                        Sheer the Sheep Build your own pack                                  Eat the sheep Earn and keep what you kill                        Build the shepherd's empire                                       Alpha Goal Driven in all five formula(s) 6-hour nonnegotiable daily activity Focus, let go, fail, mentors betas Always building other alphas (replacing itself) Embrace spartan woman (spousal goals realized) Disruption and innovation on schedule Builds a team of future alphas Beta Acquiring all five areas, may be good in only a few Building toward a baseline and often sporadic Learning to focus, still ego and self centered, seeks comfort often, being mentored Functions well on the team Testing powerful spartan women(plural) Will change and start over if the pack does Wants to be the alpha when ready Omega Expert in One Pyramid (top 1%) or not good at anything Hyper base line in all areas or only in one and is consumed by the one All or nothing with the four skills A reject or has broken away to build own pack If expert does the one thing with great excess While an omega cannot mentor or have spartan woman dynamic While an omega is constantly disruptive and destructive   Shepherd or Master Only works for him or her self (always takes the moral high ground) Expects others to follow a formula yet rarely does him or her self Needs a sheep dog to achieve results Needs a herd to direct Un-intentionally disruptive Hyper focused on empire Emotionally convicted and unyielding Developer not mentor Will abandon the herd in a moments notice The Sheep Dog On formula only or does what is told Subjugates goals for shepherd and sheep Can be taught to develop another sheep dog Do not embrace spartan woman (breads many) Will disrupt if directed to Doesn't work well with other alphas nor other teams without the shepherd The sheep Follows trends never goal oriented Goes with the heard or majority Random, Decisions based entirely on emotions, fear based, never mentor Dislikes the Sheep Dog and the Wolf Often disobeys the shepherd

Sergeant Major (ret) Mark Spicer is a 25-year veteran of the British Army with a worldwide reputation in the sphere of Sniping and Counter terrorism, which led to his selection and use as the US Government's Expert witness ini the Washington DC Sniper trials. He has served worldwide with the British and UN forces on real world deployments, and has extensive experience of counter terrorist operations and terrorist methods of operation, having worked against the IRA in Northern Ireland and subsequent terrorist elements worldwide. He's recently launched his latest book OUTDANCE THE DEVIL where he outlines his own experience of dealing with PTSD & overcoming the "darkness". Post Traumatic Stress Injury (PTSI) ...does not care if you've served. This book focuses on my life, and being a soldier for most of it, it's going to have a part of my career attached by necessity. However, I ask from the first page that you understand that this book is for anyone who has suffered traumatic stress: police officers, firefighters, parents, medical professionals, and more. 

What does success look like from someone at the top of his game? What it takes in all areas of life you can see in the life of someone at the top of the game?

Hyperfocused life is a choice of to be intentional, or to be grey and random, or to not be on-point at all.

The ability to make a the choice to be agile and flexible is the most difficult choice to make in life.  The choice takes skill.  Skill acquired through hardship and loss.   Being rigid requires no skill and no experience. Take Level One Training and learn.  Sign up www.unbreakableleadership.com

Take control of the parts of life that matter and stop chasing things that don't matter.

  www.thespartanwoman.com What does it mean to be a Spartan Woman™? A spartan woman is the center of her family. She lives by four simple, yet absolutely essential principles, each with their own purpose.    * The first makes her unbreakable under adversity.   * The second shows her how to bend or yield when it serves the good of her family.   * The third allows her to honor her role as the leader in her world.    * The fourth makes her uncompromising when it comes to not accepting destructive behavior from her family, her community, or any outsiders.   Who can be a Spartan Woman? Any woman who wants to live in integrity with strength, compassion, honor, and strategic decision making can, with training and a strong community, be a Spartan Woman. 

We are all born to thrive in adversity.   Honor your word Never Quit Speak your truth Commit to the big things that scare you Four unbreakable tools 6 people who count most three simple things plan Why

Theory destroys reality   We are all literally beaten up so often by media and bad leaders and politicians, that we, me included, begin to think what we are told is real.   That is the nature of human life; the nature is to learn not to simply believe what one sense is telling you and learn to question everything in order to stay alive and to build.   I don't say that tongue in cheek, I mean it to be a way to share how to navigate the mud pits and sand pits of our day to day lives.  Theory as stated is never real.  Reality is a contraction to theory.   Once a month, Stacy and I and sometimes other bad ass people come over and we have a one hour discussion about what is real and what is theory in order to not fall into a trap of theory.  It is an exercise I wish you all would do.   So here is the exercise:  there are five categories health, wealth, learning, relational, spiritual. Write down what 2 trends are being discussed in each Write down what 2 real things you can do in each Discuss what you would gain or lose if you added a theory to your real life     So here are mine   Theory and fantasy world Health (cardio is bad,  lifting heavy will make women look bulky)   Wealth (side hustles are important,  follow your why)   Intellectual (a degree will get you a job,  professors know what they are talking about)   Relationship (real love lasts forever,  yelling means the other person doesn't respect you)   Spiritual (god is coming to help you,  Since jesus died for you you can keep doing stupid shit)       Health (do something for an hour,  lift weights or do body weight but bulk comes from food not the work out)   Wealth (hustle at work first,  make a goal and fuck your why)   Intellectual (get a job period,  learn how to perfect something you are already doing from someone already doing it better)   Relationship (every week rebuild and prove love,  be real and authentic every day with the person you sleep with or your family, don't hide your faults)   Spiritual (be self driven and self accountable,  Stop making the same mistakes over and over and praying for salvation)  

What does it take to succeed?   Let's cut to the end credits and realize two truths, You may never reach the goal you want to reach, 80% of the population never really get to it. That is a fact. No one ever said they trained too hard. No one studied too much and dominated a test.  No one worked out too hard and dominated the field.   Don't quit just because the two truths of success are now up front and in your face.  Stop being such a frail child when facing these truths.   Here are some things you can do and realize that get you as close as you possibly can be to succeeding at whatever you have in front of you:   Fact: No one is coming to help you until it is completely broken, your mom, your dad, the cops, your professor, your boss, you lover, your wife or husband, no one.  Jesus or God, won't make a special appearance for you.   Action:  since no one is coming, stop looking for a way out and keep hammering and evolving until you can begin to see improvement.   Fact: If you are going to run a 100 mile race you have to run 100 miles a week.  Simple non emotional what you must do to succeed.   Action:  Literally don't go to a race without preparing.  It may take you a year until you are ready.  Don't show up half-baked.  Start out with 3 miles a day.  Then add miles.  It is that simple.   Fact: School doesn't mimic real life at all.  In real, life there is no answer key, there are few pre set answers.   Action: Get out of the habit you learned in school to pre pare for a pre set answer test.  Stop putting off engaging in a solution in real life like you did prior to test time in school.  Real life is every day all the time.             Fact: Nothing works until it does.  This fact pisses off most people.  Some may get a skill and win early, some late, some never.   Action:  do that action for 21 days straight, if you miss a day start over.  Once you have done something for 21 days straight you can adjust and make a decision.  1/10000 can do a simple task for 21 days, that is why most never experience success.   Fact: If someone else has gone up the mountain you are going, ask them for help.  That fact of imitation is real and effective and few use it.    Action:  Call up the person or read what that person suggests will work.  Integrate the exact details of how they solved it into your 21 day cycle.  At 21 days you can evolve and adapt but for gods sake you need to commit to something before you tuck tail and quit.   Fact: Number one reason or excuse people use to not win or to stop is this hurts or will hurt.   Action:  birth hurts the baby and the mom.  Get over it.  Getting yelled at hurts emotionally.  Get over it.  Running so hard you puke hurts.  Get over it.  Studying until 4 am hurts. Get over it.  Losing 2 million dollars in a failed partnership hurts.  Get over it. Fact: You will lose more times that you will win.  The fundamental truth of every single thing you will try or any path leading anywhere.   Action: Plan and embrace hard times and get good at things that suck.  Let the suck expose your weaknesses.     Fact: Competition is hard.  There will always be one winner and the rest are not winners.  If you have that weak of an emotional disposition you will never win even if you get number one trophy.   Action: Keep trying.  If people around you put down the people who win at the thing you are trying to win, kick those losers out of your life.  Win by winning     Fact: Physical and emotional fights are supposed to happen.  The most pressure, the more strain the more fights happen.  You will be called names by loved ones, you will be punched and physically assaulted by friends and foes.  Bullying is always going to happen.  The space between control and lack of control is filled with things like bullying, punching, degrading, put-downs and all the other lack of control mechanisms.   Action: Forgive yourself be fighting and being mean.  Forgive others for doing it to you.  Learn to notice lack of control quicker and help others gain some control.   Fact: You will give up on yourself and so with people you count on.  Listen stop lying to yourself and others, stop thinking everything will go well.     Action: Before you learn any other skill.  Learn how to heal and recover and start over.  No matter what sport or job or life you have spent 20% of the time while practicing starting over, or dealing with injury, or facing loss or facing never win situations.  Practice losing and then keeping in the game.   Fact: Not every person you date or even marry is the right partner for you.  They just are not.  Our society has demolished the institution of marriage as a process and made it an event.    Action: Slow down.  Go on a camping vacation with them in a cold or rainy environment.  Go meet their parents.    Fact: 9 to 5 jobs are no longer a way to live your life.  If you are working 5 days a week from 9 to 5 it is guaranteed you will not have that job for more that 6 years.   Action: Get trained or train yourself to have a skill you can use and apply in a job and get paid for it.  A diploma is useless.  A skill is treasured. 

Do hard things   The older I get, the further I get away from the day-to-day life in the SEAL teams, the clearer I become on a great many things.    The older I get the clearer I see the importance of being a father, of staying alive and being attentive to my family.   The older I get the easier my reactions are to politics and threats of the end of the world and existential crisis like global warming trends trailing an ice age.   Yet something is not being made clear to our society and our youth today and social media is spanking the true hardness out of youth.  So, sit back and listen and watch or read what I am going to share.  If this pisses you off, good?  If this inspires you to act, even better?    Let me first just come out and say it, 90% of the people listening to this have No fucking idea what Hard is.  You lead a protected life and the real predators are all but killed off.  And you can go to a store and buy food or even steel it.  You don't understand hard.   Let me tell you some truths:             Marriage is hard                     Divorce is hard                        avoiding either is weak   Being fat is really fucking hard           getting fit is hard as hell         avoiding both is weak   Losing a job and having debt is hard              having financial discipline is really hard.           Taking a govt hand out is weak   Speaking plainly and clear is harder than you think Deciding not to speak is also hard                                                                         Blaming others for speaking out is weak   Being straight is hard              being gay is really hard     Not having intimacy at all is weak   Making and keeping a promise is hard          quitting is extremely hard on your life                                     Never committing is weak   Learning to fight and face violence is hard                not learning to protect your self is rude and hard                                         giving up the right to protect yourself is weak   Being a republican is hard                  being a democrat is hard                                                                                                 Not taking a side is weak   School is hard not going to school is hard                                                 Expecting a job because someone else is successful is weak   Being born male is hard                      being born female is hard                                                                                                 Not accepting either is weak     Waking up early because you want to is hard Waking up early because you have to is hard                                                                         Hitting the snooze 5 times is weak   Training for an ultra marathon is very hard Not training for anything is even harder on your body                                                                         Drinking beer watching a football game is weak     Being injured and watching others progress is hard Helping others through injury is very hard                                                             Having never been injured or helped another is weak   Being a dad is hard Being a mom is hard                                                 Not trying to raise a family at all is weak   Killing is very hard Watching someone be killed is hard                                                             Never facing down an enemy at all is weak     If you are on the weak side, hard will find you and you will not be ready.    As I close and trust me I could go on for days about the weak times I see and the hard men and challenges I have witnessed, yet let me say the hardest thing you will ever have to encounter is starting over with nothing.    I wish everyone that level of hardness.  I wish you the hardness it takes to start over at the bottom with nothing.