Sex Advice for Seniors Podcast

Bob Mizek-Menopause for men and I connected through Substack, where he's been sharing his journey following prostate cancer surgery. His writing tackles the highs and lows of that experience including dealing with medical professionals of varying skill levels and learning to advocate for his own sexual health.What I truly admire about Bob is his raw honesty. He's candid about the challenges he's faced, both in the bedroom and beyond. From navigating treatment options to rethinking assumptions about menopause and hormonal changes, Bob's journey has been one of growth, resilience, and discovery. He openly discusses how his illness has deepened the bond with his partner, especially in how they communicate about sex.Bob's determination to ensure other men don't feel overlooked or ignored, as he once did, is inspiring. He's now writing about his own version of the "Male Menopause," exploring the impact of significant hormonal changes, and inviting others to join the conversation. You can follow his insightful and moving reflections on Substack.Thank you, Bob, for your honesty and generosity in sharing your story with the Sex Advice for Seniors audience!Please leave a comment or a question as we'd love to hear your thoughts and please do share if you found our conversation of value.Thousands of people are finally talking about intimacy, desire and pleasure without shame. Join them - subscribe now and you'll receive my freebie - Top 10 Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex.If you'd like access to exclusive features like personal posts, my new and highly regarded 32 page booklet, Getting Started with Sex Toys, a chat room, direct messaging for your burning questions, and Substack Live sessions with expert guests, consider becoming a paid subscriber! Your sex life will improve as a result!Annual membership is just £49.99 (a better deal than £6.99/month) and supports the work behind creating weekly podcasts, managing social media, collaborating with health professionals, and producing valuable resources that will help you to become a better lover. This isn't just a hobby—it's my passion and profession.Your subscription helps empower older individuals to feel sexually confident and access tools for pain-free, pleasurable intimacy.What others are saying:"I just finished listening to your podcast! I felt like I was sitting around the dinner table with friends, finally able to talk about what no one else does."“First of all, let me tell you how awesome I think you are and how valuable I think your Substack is.”“Your work is one of my new found joys. Thank you.” Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

In this episode, I reconnected with my former co-host, the wonderful Zoe Kors. Though we've never met in person, she feels like a kindred spirit, and I absolutely love her to bits!.It had been months since our last chat, but like old friends, the conversation flowed effortlessly. I was eager to catch up and hear what she's been up to since we last recorded together, back when another former co-host Peter Marriott joined us.As always, we had plenty to talk about - sex, relationships, and dating in later life. We touched on the role of sexologists in helping couples navigate their sexual life, often having gone through couples therapy, and the fascinating impact they can have.Zoe's been working on a memoir, as have I, and we traded stories about the highs and lows of writing about our personal lives. It's a challenge to create something deeply honest yet engaging for readers and know where to draw the line when it comes to saying too much, or too little.We wrapped up by sharing our plans and aspirations for the future. It was a joy to catch up, and I hope you enjoy the show. If you do, please leave a comment. We love hearing from our listeners!00:00 Reconnecting and Reflecting on Change02:58 The Role of Sexuality in Therapy05:54 Navigating Sexuality and Relationships09:05 The Journey of Self-Discovery12:01 Embracing Aging and Sexuality15:01 Writing and Creative Expression18:03 The Importance of Community and Connection21:03 Life Transitions and Personal Growth23:53 Curating a Joyful Life26:59 Future Aspirations and RetreatsThousands of people are finally talking about intimacy, desire and pleasure without shame. Join them - subscribe now and you'll receive my freebie - Top 10 Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex.If you'd like access to exclusive features like personal posts, my upcoming guide Getting Started with Sex Toys, a chat room, direct messaging for your burning questions, and Substack Live sessions with expert guests, consider becoming a paid subscriber!Annual membership is just £49.99 (a better deal than £9.99/month) and supports the work behind creating weekly podcasts, managing social media, collaborating with health professionals, and producing valuable resources. This isn't just a hobby—it's my passion and profession.Your subscription helps empower older individuals to feel sexually confident and access tools for pain-free, pleasurable intimacy.What others are saying:"I just finished listening to your podcast! I felt like I was sitting around the dinner table with friends, finally able to talk about what no one else does."“First of all, let me tell you how awesome I think you are and how valuable I think your Substack is.”“Your work is one of my new found joys. Thank you.” Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

What actually goes on when you attend a session with a sex therapist and what are some of the tools they use to try and help singles and couples to overcome their challenges around sex. After a hundred or more episodes, in which I suspect I have overlooked many of the practical aspects of sex therapy, I decided to use my conversation with Dr. Denise Renye to get into the nitty gritty of her profession.We begin by addressing the natural nervousness many of her clients feel when stepping into therapy for the first time. Dr. Renye reassures us that this is completely normal and shares practical tools to help ease into the process, creating an environment where they can feel safe and understood. She then introduced me to the "Wheel of Consent," a powerful tool that clarifies how we can navigate our desires and boundaries. We also talked about the practice of sensate focus, a method that encourages couples to reconnect with their partner by focusing on touch and sensation rather than performance. This approach invites them to shift their attention toward presence and shared experiences, helping to reignite the spark in their intimate lives. She reminds us that intimacy isn't about perfection—it's about being present with one another.We also explored the importance of setting boundaries, a vital part of building trust and safety in any relationship. Dr. Renye guided me through ways we can establish and respect boundaries, helping us create relationships that feel secure and fulfilling. For those of us who may struggle with performance anxiety, she introduces the "4D Wheel," a tool designed to help us reframe our anxieties and approach intimacy with curiosity and compassion.I hope you find these tools useful and would encourage you to find out more about them. You can find Dr. Denise Renye here.00:00 Understanding Sex Therapy02:47 Navigating Nervousness in Therapy06:08 The Wheel of Consent Explained08:55 Comparing Consent Tools11:46 Sensate Focus and Its Benefits14:52 Re-engaging with Intimacy18:07 Exploring Boundaries in Intimacy20:59 The 4D Wheel and Performance Anxiety24:00 Resources for Sexual Health27:07 Closing Thoughts on IntimacyDr. Denise Renye has specialised training and has worked directly with people in the areas of sexuality, relationships, states of consciousness, psychedelic integration and intimacy. She holds several degrees and accreditations. You can find out more about her here.Sex Advice for Seniors is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.If you'd like access to exclusive features like personal posts, my upcoming guide Getting Started with Sex Toys, a chat room, direct messaging for your burning questions, and Substack Live sessions with expert guests, consider becoming a paid subscriber!Annual membership is just £49.99 (a better deal than £9.99/month) and supports the work behind creating weekly podcasts, managing social media, collaborating with health professionals, and producing valuable resources. This isn't just a hobby—it's my passion and profession.Your subscription helps empower older individuals to feel sexually confident and access tools for pain-free, pleasurable intimacy.What others are saying:"I just finished listening to your podcast! I felt like I was sitting around the dinner table with friends, finally able to talk about what no one else does."“First of all, let me tell you how awesome I think you are and how valuable I think your Substack is.”“Your work is one of my new found joys. Thank you.” Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

In this episode of Sex Advice for Seniors I had the pleasure of speaking with fellow Substacker Ally Iseman, a relationship coach and self-proclaimed non-monogamy nerd, about the nuances of ethical non-monogamy and its implications for older adults exploring new relationship dynamics. This is an area in which I'm too familiar, having been in several relationships, both serious and casual, in which monogamy was not part of the construct. And I am now in a situationship, which has some degree of flexibility around it.We delved into the importance of communication in relationships, particularly when considering non-traditional structures like polyamory and swinging. Ali emphasised that understanding and articulating one's needs and boundaries are crucial, regardless of the relationship style. Thousands of people are finally talking about intimacy, desire and pleasure without shame. Join them - subscribe now and you'll receive my freebie - Top 10 Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex.We also discussed the challenges and misconceptions surrounding non-monogamy, such as jealousy and societal expectations, and how these can be navigated through open dialogue and self-awareness. Although monogamy comes with its own particular challenges, so do relationships that may involve multiple partners.Our conversation highlighted the potential for personal growth and fulfilment through exploring different relationship dynamics, especially later in life when individuals may seek new experiences or have different emotional and physical needs.Chapters00:00 Exploring Non-Monogamy and Relationships09:58 Communication in Non-Monogamous Relationships20:10 Understanding Jealousy and Compersion30:04 Navigating Relationship Dynamics in Later LifeYou can find Ali here:If you'd like access to exclusive features like personal posts, my upcoming guide Getting Started with Sex Toys, a chat room, direct messaging for your burning questions, and Substack Live sessions with expert guests, consider becoming a paid subscriber!Annual membership is just £49.99 (a better deal than £9.99/month) and supports the work behind creating weekly podcasts, managing social media, collaborating with health professionals, and producing valuable resources. This isn't just a hobby—it's my passion and profession.Your subscription helps empower older individuals to feel sexually confident and access tools for pain-free, pleasurable intimacy.What others are saying:"I just finished listening to your podcast! I felt like I was sitting around the dinner table with friends, finally able to talk about what no one else does."“First of all, let me tell you how awesome I think you are and how valuable I think your Substack is.”“Your work is one of my new found joys. Thank you.” Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

I'm always intrigued by what inspires ‘sexperts' to help others navigate the challenges within their sexual relationships. For many I've met, their journey into this field is often deeply personal, shaped by their own experiences and struggles.In this recent conversation, intimacy coach Anna Marti, whom I have met before, shared her path to becoming an intimacy coach. Her journey was profoundly influenced by her experiences with trauma in relationships, particularly with a long-term partner who had a traumatic sexual history. Their shared effort to rediscover sexual pleasure and connection ultimately motivated Anna to pursue a career as a counsellor and learn how to heal others who found it difficult to move on from their traumatic past.Our discussion delved into the cultural influences on sexuality, the critical role of communication in intimacy, and the importance of redefining pleasure beyond conventional ideas of sex. Anna highlighted the value of bridging body and spirit, dispelling misconceptions about intimacy, and embracing playfulness in relationships.Chapters00:00 Introduction to Intimacy Coaching03:01 Understanding Trauma and Relationships05:59 Exploring Sexuality and Cultural Influences08:56 The Role of Communication in Intimacy11:51 Redefining Sex and Pleasure15:06 Bridging Body and Spirit18:02 Misconceptions About Intimacy21:11 Finding Playfulness in Relationships23:54 Key Takeaways on Connection and HealingYou can find Anna here: https://annamarti.comThousands of people are finally talking about intimacy, desire and pleasure without shame. Join them - subscribe now and you'll receive my freebie - Top 10 Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex.If you'd like access to exclusive features like personal posts, my upcoming guide Getting Started with Sex Toys, a chat room, direct messaging for your burning questions, and Substack Live sessions with expert guests, consider becoming a paid subscriber!Annual membership is just £49.99 (a better deal than £9.99/month) and supports the work behind creating weekly podcasts, managing social media, collaborating with health professionals, and producing valuable resources. This isn't just a hobby—it's my passion and profession.Your subscription helps empower older individuals to feel sexually confident and access tools for pain-free, pleasurable intimacy.What others are saying:"I just finished listening to your podcast! I felt like I was sitting around the dinner table with friends, finally able to talk about what no one else does."“First of all, let me tell you how awesome I think you are and how valuable I think your Substack is.”“Your work is one of my new found joys. Thank you.” Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

It was great to welcome back Amara Charles to Sex Advice for Seniors, a relationship and sexual empowerment expert and best selling author of three books. I really love this woman - she has a wonderful calm energy about her and she positive lights up when she talks about her work.In this episode I was keen to delve into the practise of concept of Quodoushka, which represents the fusion of energies to create a greater whole. Amara is an expert on this ancient practise, having written a book about it, and believes there are nine male and female genital anatomy types--such as Coyote Man or Buffalo Woman. I know it all sounds very woo woo, but when Amara is talking about it, it actually makes perfect sense because I certainly have known men who liked to howl like a coyote during sex (I used to worry he would wake up the neighbours). Amara discusses the three essential pillars of ageless sexuality: embodied presence, resonant communication, and sexual alchemy. Through personal stories and insights, we explore how understanding one's genital anatomy can enhance sexual experiences, the importance of acceptance in pleasure, and the potential for growth and vibrancy in sexuality as one ages. Ultimately, I'm a great believer in that whatever system works in helping us become closer, more intimate, with our partner(s), the better. And Amara has certainly witnessed, as we discussed, the transformative power using Quodoushka can have on our clients.If you'd like to find out more about Amara visit her website:https://amaracharles.com/https://www.youtube.com/@amaracharles7203Here Mystic Rapture Couples Intimacy Retreat is being held in Costa Rica May 3-10, 2025. It sounds AMAZING. Chapters00:00 Introduction to Kodoshka and Amara Charles10:32 Understanding Genital Anatomy Types22:53 The Third Pillar: Sexual AlchemyThousands of people are finally talking about intimacy, desire and pleasure without shame. Join them - subscribe now and you'll receive my freebie - Top 10 Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex.If you'd like access to exclusive features like personal posts, my upcoming guide Getting Started with Sex Toys, a chat room, direct messaging for your burning questions, and Substack Live sessions with expert guests, consider becoming a paid subscriber!Annual membership is just £49.99 (a better deal than £9.99/month) and supports the work behind creating weekly podcasts, managing social media, collaborating with health professionals, and producing valuable resources. This isn't just a hobby—it's my passion and profession.Your subscription helps empower older individuals to feel sexually confident and access tools for pain-free, pleasurable intimacy.What others are saying:"I just finished listening to your podcast! I felt like I was sitting around the dinner table with friends, finally able to talk about what no one else does."“First of all, let me tell you how awesome I think you are and how valuable I think your Substack is.”“Your work is one of my new found joys. Thank you.” Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

One of the recurring topics in my conversations with older people is how to navigate a sexless relationship, especially when one person in the partnership wants more sex than the other. Having spent the last four years of my own marriage celibate, I am familiar with this dynamic. In my case, my sexual dissatisfaction was not defined by my ability to orgasm (which I had always taken control of) but more of an inability to communicate my desires and a lack of vernacular around sex and overall confidence to even know how to start the conversation.In my conversation with sexologist Renée Yvonne we discuss the challenges of navigating sexless relationships, the importance of communication about desires, and the need for understanding female pleasure. We explore how sexual satisfaction impacts overall well-being and the emotional toll of unmet sexual needs. Renée shares her experiences and insights as a certified sex counsellor, offering practical advice for couples to enhance intimacy and connection.There's no age-specificity when it comes to learning how to talk about sex. Whether with a new partner or in a long-term relationship, we can all benefit from improving our communication skills in this area. 00:00 Navigating Sexless Relationships09:55 Communication and Desire20:01 Understanding Female Pleasure29:57 The Impact of Sexual Satisfaction on Well-beingYou can find Renée Yvonne here:www.thegensexologist.comrenee@thegensexologist.comListen to previous episodes of her The Gen SeXy Podcast here.Thousands of people are finally talking about intimacy, desire and pleasure without shame. Join them - subscribe now and you'll receive my freebie - Top 10 Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex.If you'd like access to exclusive features like personal posts, my upcoming guide Getting Started with Sex Toys, a chat room, direct messaging for your burning questions, and Substack Live sessions with expert guests, consider becoming a paid subscriber!Annual membership is just £49.99 (a better deal than £9.99/month) and supports the work behind creating weekly podcasts, managing social media, collaborating with health professionals, and producing valuable resources. This isn't just a hobby—it's my passion and profession.Your subscription helps empower older individuals to feel sexually confident and access tools for pain-free, pleasurable intimacy.What others are saying:"I just finished listening to your podcast! I felt like I was sitting around the dinner table with friends, finally able to talk about what no one else does."“First of all, let me tell you how awesome I think you are and how valuable I think your Substack is.”“Your work is one of my new found joys. Thank you.” Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

Rose Rouse is the editor of the social enterprise Advantages of Age and Now magazine on Substack, which we founded together back in 2016 to challenge the media narrative around ageing. She also happens to be one of my good friends.We share many of the same views on ageing, believing that getting older doesn't mean being "past it." We both enjoy wearing flowers in our hair from time to time, shopping sustainably, exploring out-of-the-way places, and generally being curious about life.However, when it comes to relationships, we're quite literally miles apart. I prefer the men I'm involved with to be within a 30-minute to one-hour proximity, while Rose has been in a decade-long relationship with a man who lives about six hours away. I'm not very monogamous, whereas she is deeply monogamous.I thought it would be fun to explore what it's like to have a "living together apart" (LTA) relationship and how Rose has managed to make it work for so long—especially when health issues arise, for example. We ended up diving deep into the topic, so much so that by the end she said to me, “And we didn't even get to the sex part!”That's true—we didn't. So, I suspect we'll have to revisit that in another episode. (I try to stick to 30 minutes to keep things engaging and prevent boredom from setting in.)You can follow and subscribe to Rose's own Substack, thespirited70something.00:00 Introduction to Unique Relationships01:12 The Beginning of Rose and Asanga's Journey06:19 Maintaining Emotional Connection11:22 Balancing Independence and Commitment15:06 Celebrating a Decade Together19:38 Navigating Aging and Future Challenges24:04 Family Dynamics and Relationship Growth25:11 Mature Love and Personal Growth27:24 The Decision to Share a Bed30:54 Conclusion and Future PossibilitiesThousands of people are finally talking about intimacy, desire and pleasure without shame. Join them - subscribe now and you'll receive my freebie - Top 10 Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex.If you'd like access to exclusive features like personal posts, my upcoming guide Getting Started with Sex Toys, a chat room, direct messaging for your burning questions, and Substack Live sessions with expert guests, consider becoming a paid subscriber!Annual membership is just £49.99 (a better deal than £9.99/month) and supports the work behind creating weekly podcasts, managing social media, collaborating with health professionals, and producing valuable resources. This isn't just a hobby—it's my passion and profession.Your subscription helps empower older individuals to feel sexually confident and access tools for pain-free, pleasurable intimacy.What others are saying:"I just finished listening to your podcast! I felt like I was sitting around the dinner table with friends, finally able to talk about what no one else does."“First of all, let me tell you how awesome I think you are and how valuable I think your Substack is.”“Your work is one of my new found joys. Thank you.” Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

In this episode of 'Sex Advice for Seniors', me and somatic psychotherapist Erica Shershun, Author of Healing Sexual Trauma Workbook, discuss the pervasive issue of sexual trauma, particularly in light of recent high-profile cases such as Gisele Pelicot. We explore the impact of rape culture, the importance of recognising trauma symptoms, and effective healing techniques. Subscribe for honest, stigma-free sex advice for people who refuse to let age define their desires. Receive the weekly podcast direct to your inbox. ;)Erica shares insights from her work with trauma survivors, addressing common misconceptions about trauma and healing, and introduces her new guided journal aimed at helping individuals navigate their healing journey.Chapters00:00 Introduction to Sexual Trauma Awareness01:48 The Impact of Rape Culture13:17 Healing Techniques for Trauma Survivors22:52 Recognising Trauma Symptoms26:51 Misconceptions About Trauma and Healing28:56 New Resources for Healing Sexual TraumaErika's new Healing Sexual Trauma Guided Journal is available now via Amazon."I just finished listening to your podcast! I felt like I was sitting around the dinner table with friends, finally able to talk about what no one else does."Want to go deeper? Join The Intimacy Insider Membership for exclusive advice, unfiltered stories, and expert reviews that will transform the way you experience intimacy.

Darlaine and I have met before, and in this conversation we talk openly and honestly about the challenges of sexual health, especially for women after breast cancer. We shared some of our personal experiences and talked about how hormonal treatments can impact intimacy, as well as the importance of taking care of vaginal health. We also discussed how lifestyle choices can make a big difference, busted a few myths about feminine hygiene products, and looked at environmental factors that contribute to breast cancer. For me, the biggest takeaway was how much we need better education and support when it comes to sexual health, especially for women as we get older.Chapters02:57 Personal Experiences and Challenges05:54 Exploring Sexual Health Post-Breast Cancer09:02 The Importance of Vaginal Health12:01 Understanding Hormonal Treatments15:02 The Impact of Lifestyle on Sexual Health18:05 Debunking Myths About Feminine Hygiene Products20:58 Environmental Factors and Breast Cancer24:01 Navigating Intimacy and Aging26:53 Addressing Sexual Health Concerns29:52 Conclusion and Future ConversationsHere's what others have to say:"I just finished listening to your podcast! I felt like I was sitting around the dinner table after dessert with good friends, giving voice to what some of us have been feeling and thinking for ages!""Love the dialogue, love the subject, will be a devoted listener!!Thousands of people are finally talking about intimacy, desire and pleasure without shame. Join them - subscribe now. Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

It was great to have Ena Xena back on the show, recently back from a winter in Goa and glowing. The last time she was on the programme we talked briefly about her work in ‘Human Design' - a set of energy types that helps us to understand how to show up in the world, and how others relate to us. Similar to the astrological chart, in that energy types are defined according to birth date, time and place (only three months before your actual birth occurs). “Human Design offers a map of your unique genetic design, with detailed information on both conscious and unconscious aspects of yourself.”In this episode, we discussed Ena's forthcoming workshops - one on Human Design and the other about Full Body Orgasms (where you are fully clothed!).These will be taking place on the Union Canal, London, from 23rd February - 1st March and are entirely FREE, funded by the London Borough of Kensington & Chelsea.Chapters00:00 Introduction to Human Design and Workshops03:04 Exploring Human Design Energy Types06:11 Understanding Relationships through Human Design09:01 The Role of Energy in Relationships11:55 Full Body Orgasm Workshop Overview14:50 Navigating Sexual Energy and Confidence17:53 The Importance of Communication in Relationships21:02 Normalising Conversations about Sexuality23:46 Conclusion and Workshop DetailsThousands of people are finally talking about intimacy, desire and pleasure without shame. Join them - subscribe now. Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

One of the perks of my ‘job' is occasionally being offered incredible freebies I can't refuse. My massive sex toy collection is one example, and another is the post I wrote about a sensual massage I received from Colin Richards.After nearly two hours of being massaged and sensually stroked by the country's leading sensual masseur, I felt as though I'd just returned from a week-long holiday (one where I'd been liberally coated in oil). It was divine, and I was eager to catch up with him to hear about his latest venture—a web-based channel for those who enjoy both giving and receiving sensual massage.While it may seem niche, more and more people, especially later in life, are exploring sensual massage as a way to revive their libido, deepen their connection with a partner, and fully embrace pleasure. In the world of massage, however, advertising these services can be tricky, as they often sit somewhere between adult work (even though penetration is typically not involved) and traditional massage.That said, the sensual masseurs I've met take their work very seriously, ensuring that clients' boundaries are respected and that the experience aligns with what the client is seeking.Currently, the networking platform operates as a Telegram chat group called Intimacy Matters. This is described as “the first phase of creating a networking platform to unite sensual massage lovers and general sensualists.”Colin explains: “To qualify to join, you should take great pleasure in giving and receiving erotic intimacy or, ideally, have some experience in sensual massage. You should appreciate intimacy and connection during sex. Empathy, authenticity, and being a good person should form the core of your values.”To get access too the chat group you must complete the Application Form00:00 Introduction to Sensual Massage and Community Building05:58 Creating a Safe Space for Intimacy12:03 Exploring Consent and Boundaries in Sensual Experiences18:11 The Future of Intimacy and Sensuality for Older AdultsYou can find Colin Richards at:Facebook; https://www.facebook.com/IntimacymattersTwitter; https://twitter.com/IntimacyMattersWebsite: https://www.intimacymatters.co.ukColin is a member of The Association of Somatic & Integrative SexologistsThousands of people are finally talking about intimacy, desire and pleasure without shame. Join them - subscribe now. Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

I have a very large sex toy collection, most given to me for free. When friends have come over and seen the overspilling box of toys next to my bed, the most common reaction is, “Wow, how do you find the time to use all of that?!'“ Here's the thing: testing out sex toys is a job like any other, and nobody knows that better than my guest, Ralph Greco. He has been reviewing toys for websites, magazines like Hustler, and anyone else willing to pay him for over a decade. As a result, I suspect he has a much larger toy collection than I do. I don't envy him for that, though, because toys take up space, are mostly not recyclable, and we have only so many erogenous zones for which a vibrating device can enhance our pleasure.Ralph is very funny and it was great to dive into the world of sex toys and our respective experiences using them. For those who have not been initiated into the world of sex toys, Ralph and I discuss how to get started, what does or doesn't make a sex toy useful, the growing interest in prostate play amongst older men. We also touched on what to do when you have accumulated too many toys - is it OK to sell them on secondhand toy/underwear/pantyhose sites?We we also delve into the evolving landscape of men's pleasure products, discussing the shift in perception towards adult toys for men. And we debate the balance between simplicity and complexity in product features, while humorously contemplating the future of pleasure with the potential rise of robotic companions.00:00 Introduction to Naughty Writing and Erotica06:01 Exploring Prostate Play and Older Men13:57 The Challenge of Toy Accumulation and Disposal19:12 Exploring Men's Toys: A Shift in Perception25:31 Safety and Quality: The New Standards in Adult ToysThousands of people are finally talking about intimacy, desire and pleasure without shame. Join them - subscribe now.Ralph's New Book is out on Valentine's Day! It's called Sex: Everything You Didn't Know You Needed to Know and is co-authored with M. Christian. Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

Ken and I had a conversation last year about his relatively new business focused on supporting men with erectile dysfunction. His goal was to help them navigate the U.S. healthcare system and address their challenges in achieving and maintaining an erection.Having experienced this issue firsthand and struggled to find a helpful healthcare provider, Ken wanted to save other men the time and effort. He wanted to work with them to understand their circumstances and experiences, ultimately providing a tailored recovery pathway.Unfortunately, as we discussed in the show, he found it challenging to reach potential customers, who, I suspect, felt too ashamed to discuss their sexual health with another man who lacked a PhD, despite being a fully qualified sexologist and training with the Dr. Rachael Institute. Our conversation delves into the stigma surrounding ED, the role of lifestyle and health in managing the condition, and the need for men to advocate for their sexual health. We also explore societal expectations of masculinity and the performative nature of male sexuality, as well as advancements in ED treatments and the importance of a holistic approach to health. Ken emphasises the need for open conversations about ED and the resources available to help men navigate their sexual health challenges.Chapters00:00 Introduction to Erectile Dysfunction01:24 Ken's Personal Journey with ED03:17 Understanding the Underlying Causes of ED05:12 The Role of Lifestyle and Health08:03 Advocating for Sexual Health10:28 Breaking the Stigma Around ED12:00 Marketing Challenges in ED Coaching13:54 Societal Expectations and Masculinity16:50 The Performative Nature of Male Sexuality19:31 Advancements in ED Treatments22:21 The Importance of Holistic Health25:20 Navigating ED as a Lifelong Journey29:03 Conclusion and Resources for EDhttps://www.healthysexualitywithken.com/

OMG, I love this woman! The last time Susan Bratton was on the show, we dived into all things related to sex and intimacy, including non-monogamy. Since then, she has appeared on ‘Diary of a CEO' with Steven Bartlett, so she's gone even more into the stratosphere than she was before, and I feel blessed to have her here talking to me. Steven calls her the ‘Orgasm Queen' but, for me, Susan's knowledge about sex and intimacy go way beyond the orgasm. For this episode, we decided to focus specifically on pumping, of which Susan knows her stuff, as you'll find out!Until about a year ago, I had no clue what pumping was. I vaguely remember seeing ads in the back of comic books as a kid, claiming that men could increase the size of their penis with a large cylinder-like apparatus.After chatting with several urologists on the show, who mentioned pumps to help men regain erections post-prostate surgery and clitoral pumps for older women seeking increased blood flow to their genitals, my partner and I decided to buy pumps and give them a try. I have to admit that, while I don't use it often, my partner really enjoys it and has definitely noticed an increase in girth and the ability to maintain his erection. Plus, it's pretty kinky to watch a partner pump and vice versa, a sentiment Susan and I both agree on!On a more serious note, studies are now being undertaken to determine the effectiveness of pumping for men with erectile dysfunction and nerve damage through surgical procedures. Anecdotal evidence suggests that pumping can help restore blood flow to the penis (and the clitoris) meaning greater sensitivity and more pleasureable sex. In short, if you're an older guy, than you should be pumping 3 - 4 times per week and there's nothing shameful or dangerous about pumping when used correctly. And, here, for the first time is our video conversation!!Here are some of the products we featured:FirmTech MaxPR cock ring. Use my Code NOBLEDISC20 for 20% off. Buy here.GRO N SHOW Men's Pump Package LadyPumpStimulate Red Light Pump AccessoryAndroDEEP Penile Extender for Length:Chapters00:00 Introduction to Penis Pumps02:58 Understanding the Mechanics of Pumping06:05 The Kinky Side of Pumping09:08 The Benefits of Clitoral Pumping12:02 Pumping as Self-Care15:04 The Science Behind Pumping18:00 Choosing the Right Pump21:00 Normalizing Pumping for Men24:02 Conclusion and Future Perspectives28:00 Understanding Erectile Dysfunction and Treatment Options30:45 The Role of Red Light Therapy and Traction Devices34:49 The Importance of Nitric Oxide for Sexual Health40:54 Tools and Techniques for Enhancing Sexual HealthSex Advice for Seniors is a reader-supported podcast, weekly newsletter with random notes, erotic stories and observations about sex, dating and relationships in later life. Paid subscribers benefit from accessing all the paywalled content (podcasts and posts over two weeks old), naughtier-than-usual posts, joining me on Chat, supporting all my voluntary work with academics, doctors and health professionals in shaping how we talk about sex and intimacy issues with older adults. It's only £4.99/month or £49.99/year. Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

Laurie Stone is author of six books, most recently "Streaming Now, Postcards from the Thing that is Happening," longlisted for the PEN/Diamonstein-Spielvogel Award. She writes the Substack "Everything is Personal.”When I read Laurie's Stone Substack article about her decision to marry her long-term partner Richard at 78, following a brief two-week engagement, I knew I had to contact her. It was subsequently covered in the ‘Vows' section in the New York Times. Laurie and I have many mutual friends, mostly other writers and creative types, which led me to suspect her choice to marry was likely more thoughtful and less conventional than the typical “we've been together so long, we might as well.”Just three weeks earlier, at a friend's Christmas party, I had encountered another writer in her fifties, someone I had met a few times, who had recently announced her engagement to her partner of five years. (I'm sensing a micro-trend here). She expressed surprise at the mixed reactions from friends, ranging from “Well, I guess someone has to” to “Congratulations, how wonderful.”I might have asked her if her decision was based purely on romance, to which she appeared taken aback and said “Yes, of course.” I explained that after my most recent partner passed away, I became acutely aware of my lack of agency, particularly in not being able to communicate directly with his doctors or stay informed about his declining health. It had left me feeling frustrated and angry.This experience highlighted for me the emotional difficulties of being partnered but not married in the traditional sense, helping me understand some of the complexities involved and why deciding to marry when you're no longer in your 20s or 30s, is not always a romantic one. I have to admit I'm cynical about romance, having not had the best track record when it comes to long-term relationships and my own decade-long marriage was not filled with joy, and so I am curious as to why anyone would consciously choose to ‘tie-the-knot' when my age. But I'm also a great believer in the old cliche, ‘To each, to his own,' and have several friends who have been happily married for decades, so clearly it does work for some people, only not for me! In any case, I'm not going to spoil some of the many interesting observations about love and marriage that Laurie shared with me during this discussion but only to say I hope you will enjoy our conversation as much as I did.Laurie is hosting her next workshop on taking risks in your writing to which you are invited to attend if you become one of her paid subscribers. It's taking place on 25th January 3 - 4 pm EST. The cost for a year is $37.50 and $3.75 a month making it one of the least expensive Substacks on the platform. “It's uniquely literary, funny, sexy, and feminist.” To RSVP, please write to: lauriestone@substack.com (once you become a paid subscriber)00:00 Introduction to the Podcast and Guest10:41 The Wedding Experience: A Unique Perspective16:04 Reflections on Marriage and Practical Considerations22:33 Writing and Personal Experiences: The Creative Process30:52 Closing Thoughts and Future PlansSex Advice for Seniors is a reader-supported podcast, weekly newsletter with random notes and observations about sex, dating and relationships in later life. Paid subscribers benefit from accessing all the paywalled content (podcasts and posts over two weeks old), joining me on Chat, supporting all my voluntary work with academics, doctors and health professionals in shaping how we talk about sex and intimacy issues with older adults. It's only £4.99/month or £49.99/year. Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

Delving Into the Sexual RevolutionIn this lively chat, I had the pleasure of interviewing Sam Feldman, the very engaging and funny author of 'Hookups, Hiccups and Happenstances.' We delved into the juicy bits of the sexual revolution, shared a few personal tales about intimacy, and had a good old chinwag about why communication is absolutely vital for keeping long-term relationships ticking along.Sam shared some cracking insights from his own life, including how health can sometimes be a bit of a party pooper when it comes to sexuality, and the sheer joy of date nights. He cheekily reminded us that age is just a number—definitely not a barrier to having a right good time in the bedroom or beyond!Takeaways:* The sexual revolution brought significant changes in women's empowerment (both good & bad)!* Personal experiences shape the narratives in erotic literature.* Health challenges can impact sexual intimacy but can be adapted to.* Ethical non-monogamy was practiced before the term existed.* Date nights can enhance connection and intimacy in relationships - no matter what your age!Chapters00:00 The Sexual Revolution: A Historical Perspective06:03 Personal Experiences and Ethical Non-Monogamy12:08 Maintaining Intimacy in Long-Term Relationships17:50 Adapting to Change: Health and Sexuality24:05 The Importance of Communication and ConnectionSex Advice for Seniors is a reader-supported publication. To pledge your support, help keep this going and for me to spend more time promoting the joys of sex and intimacy for older adults, consider becoming a paid subscriber. A little goes a long way.Hookups, Hiccups, and Happenstances is a collection of erotic short stories that capture the spirit of the era when attitudes toward sex were being redefined. Set in the wild, libertine world of the 60s and 70s, Sam's stories follow the character of Butch, a man admired by both men and women for his unapologetic embrace of sexual freedom. The book explores encounters that celebrate human desire, autonomy, and mutual pleasure, offering a refreshing and boundary-pushing perspective on relationships.You can buy it here.Find Sam on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sam.l.feldman Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

One question that often comes up is how to make dating easier for men and women seeking serious relationships.From my experience, finding a man who wants regular sex and understands female anatomy is far less challenging than finding one who desires a deep, meaningful connection beyond just physical intimacy.I've been a virtual Facebook friend of Shakti Sundari for several years. During that time, I've watched her navigate relationships with men who were clearly incompatible, trying to make things work despite the odds. After taking a break due to family responsibilities, she moved to Glastonbury and settled into the community, which required some adjustment.Recently, over the past three months, she's been documenting her reengagement with dating on her Facebook profile. She expresses a desire to flirt, have fun, and eventually find a proper adult relationship. I've thoroughly enjoyed reading her long, detailed posts. Shakti has a wonderful curiosity and an open energy. Unlike many women I've spoken to who find the online dating scene disheartening and have given up, I can sense that Shakti is still in the process of figuring it all out and wants to help others to find the ‘conscious connection' they are seeking too.Sex Advice for Seniors is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber to receive sexy stories and sex toy reviews, helping me to support more older people to have pleasurable sex.While she's still navigating all of this, and being an educator for a significant period of time, teaching tantra, amongst other disciplines, she has decided to hold a series of workshops to offer women and men, during separate events, the opportunity to share their thoughts on the dating world, their experiences and with the hope of gaining more clarity in themselves and their online profiles in how they express themselves and what they are seeking in a partner.She's offering two online introductory events in January (more if there's demand): on Wed, Jan 15th & Sat, Jan 18th, 2025Both will follow the same format. There'll be a maximum of 20 participants per session. Every woman is warmly welcomeGathering #1When: Wednesday, 15th January, 7-9pmWhere: Online via zoomRegistration: £11 via this PayPal link (please select friends & family payment option):https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/shaktisundarilove/11You can find all the information about the Conscious Dating Collective Workshops here: Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

In this chat, I had the pleasure of speaking with Sydney Zwicker about the many aspects of pelvic health, especially for women. We explored the emotional and physical connections tied to pelvic health and why women often seek support. It was fascinating to discuss the importance of addressing both physical issues and emotional trauma.Sydney shared her holistic approach to healing, which includes various bodywork techniques and the vital role of creating a safe space for women to reconnect with their bodies. We also touched on men's experiences, the significance of communication in intimacy, and the need to rethink societal narratives around menopause and women's health. * Pelvic health discussions are vital for women of all ages.* Emotional stories are intertwined with physical health.* Women often seek help for physical pain, emotional trauma, or spiritual disconnection.* Healing requires addressing both physical and emotional aspects.* Techniques include bodywork, visualization, and somatic coaching.* Men also experience pelvic health issues and need support.* Intimacy can exist without sexuality, focusing on connection.Sound Bites* "You can't separate a woman from her story."* "The body is not out to get us."* "There's no shame in the healing process."* "Men need this work too."* "Intimacy doesn't have to involve sexuality."* "Communication is a practice."Chapters00:00 Introduction to Pelvic Health Conversations01:23 Understanding Pelvic Health and Emotional Connection02:36 Pain Points and Reasons for Seeking Help04:31 The Interplay of Physical and Emotional Health06:30 Techniques for Healing and Body Awareness08:11 Expanding the Scope: Working with Men10:45 The Importance of Emotional Maturity in Healing12:12 Navigating Touch and Intimacy15:40 The Need for Non-Sexual Intimacy18:00 Communication and Intimacy in Relationships21:45 The Role of Elders and Wisdom in Sexuality24:28 Menopause: A Rite of Passage27:56 Reframing the Narrative Around Menopause30:22 The Purpose of Menopause in Evolution32:22 The Dangers of Medical Interventions35:54 The Importance of Body Awareness and Educationhttps://www.zwickerhealingarts.com/https://www.instagram.com/zwickerhealingartsSex Advice for Seniors is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

In this episode of "Sex Advice for Seniors," I had the pleasure of chatting with Bel de Lorenzo about something intriguing: vaginal gymnastics or pompoir training, as it's sometimes called. This practice isn't just about fun; it's all about enhancing pelvic floor strength and boosting sexual pleasure. And the best news is you don't need to be an Olympiad or have any special skills to become an expert.We dove into why understanding the pelvic floor is so important and explored various techniques and exercises that anyone can try, no matter their starting point. Bel highlighted that training can be not only beneficial but also enjoyable—who knew working on your pelvic floor could be so engaging?We also touched on the importance of rest and recovery in any training regimen and discussed how tools and toys can elevate the experience. It was a fascinating conversation, full of insights that can help boost libido, confidence, and overall well-being. You'll find a discount code at the end for Bel's Vaginal Gymnastics programme. I'm curious to try it myself and will be filling you in on how my training goes!Key Takeaways* There's always something new to learn about sex.* Vaginal gymnastics can enhance dexterity and pleasure.* Kegel exercises are just the beginning of pelvic floor training.* Using fingers can help understand pelvic floor movements better.* A strong pelvic floor can alleviate incontinence issues.* Training can lead to heightened sensitivity and pleasure during sex.* You can start pelvic floor training at any age or fitness level.* Rest and recovery are crucial for muscle growth and strength.* Training can enhance libido and sexual confidence.* Making training fun is essential for consistency.Chapters00:00 Introduction to Vaginal Gymnastics05:58 Exploring Techniques and Exercises12:12 Benefits Beyond Pleasure18:05 The Connection Between Sensation and Training24:10 Enhancing Libido and Confidence29:54 Conclusion and Program Detailswww.gohddess.comCoupon code SA4S gets them 25% off on the program, it is a one-time fee for life.YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@gohddessReddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/pompoir/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@goh.ddess Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

Sexologist Chris Hands and I met a few months ago but the recording was mangled, so it was great to catch up with him again and talk about the intricate dynamics of men's groups which Chris has run for several years and the pervasive influence of toxic masculinity. Our discussion delved into the cultural perspectives on sexuality, particularly among older individuals, and how these attitudes shape our experiences.We explored the role of dance as a profound means of connection, highlighting the benefits of practices such as Biodanza and Five Rhythms in fostering intimacy and vulnerability within the realm of dating. It became clear that modern relationships are rife with complexities, especially given the disconnection many individuals, particularly men, experience in today's society.The impact of the pandemic on our social connections cannot be overstated, as it has prompted a significant redefinition of relationships in later life. We addressed the challenges posed by societal norms in dating, emphasising the emotional dynamics at play. Ultimately, as with most of my conversations with experts, it's all about learning how to communicate within relationships and the importance of sharing perspectives without attributing blame or anger.takeaways* Men's groups have evolved but often become negative.* Toxic masculinity is pervasive and affects relationships.* Cultural differences influence perceptions of sexuality.* Dance can create physical connections and intimacy.* Biodanza offers a unique way to connect with others.* Vulnerability in dating is increasingly challenging.* Older individuals often withdraw from discussions about sexuality.* The pandemic has exacerbated feelings of isolation.* Creating a supportive community is essential for connection.* Engaging in group activities can help bridge gaps in understanding. Many men feel disconnected and lonely in today's society.* The pandemic has exacerbated feelings of isolation and anxiety.* Older adults are redefining what relationships look like for them.* There is a growing desire for non-traditional relationship structures.* Both men and women are seeking companionship without the constraints of traditional dating.* Emotional dynamics in relationships require time and understanding to develop.* Societal expectations often hinder genuine connections between people.* Communication is key to navigating relationship challenges.Sound Bites* "Let's just rewrite the rule book."* "Men often just want to fix things."* "I don't do drama anymore."Sex Advice for Seniors is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.Chapters00:00 Introduction and Background02:54 Men's Groups and Their Evolution05:56 The Impact of Toxic Masculinity08:59 Cultural Perspectives on Sexuality11:54 The Role of Dance in Connection15:08 Exploring Biodanza and Five Rhythms18:11 Navigating Vulnerability in Dating21:45 The Disconnect in Modern Relationships24:06 The Impact of the Pandemic on Social Connections27:02 Redefining Relationships in Later Life29:56 Challenging Societal Norms in Dating33:09 Understanding Emotional Dynamics in Relationshipshttps://www.linkedin.com/in/christopher-hands-health2fit Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

It seems obvious, but rarely discussed, is the relationship between how our parents conceive us and how this can significantly influence our sexual energy and development. This topic is important, as it highlights the deep-rooted connections between our childhood experiences and adult intimacy. And yet, I suspect for most of us, considering our parent's role in how we approach our sexuality is yet another one of those topics that may bring up shame or resentment or a myriad of emotions, which help to suppress feelings of sexual desire or longing.The Influence of Parents on Sexual EnergyIt's fascinating to consider how shame and guilt from parents can disrupt a child's natural arousal and sexual development. These early impressions can create patterns that affect relationships later in life. Certain life stages are critical for developing a healthy understanding of sexuality, and disruptions during these times can have lasting effects.Communication in RelationshipsOne of the pressing issues we discussed is the lack of communication about sexual needs within relationships. Partners often carry imprints from childhood, yet they may not fully understand how these affect their intimacy. As we noted, “The partner does not know what your imprints are,” emphasizing the need for open dialogue about desires and experiences.Physiological Changes and Body AwarenessPhysiological changes that occur in both women and men can also alter sexual experiences. Understanding these changes is essential for fostering intimacy. Body awareness plays a crucial role in sexual health; grounding therapy, for instance, helps individuals connect their energy flow with their sexuality. “Grounding is down to earth sexuality,” we agreed, highlighting its importance in enhancing intimate connections.Sex Advice for Seniors is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.Navigating Survival BehaviorsWe touched on how survival behaviors from childhood can hinder adult relationships. These ingrained patterns can manifest as barriers to intimacy, making it essential to recognize and address them. “When women close their vagina, men close their heart,” we noted, illustrating how emotional and physical barriers are intertwined.Releasing Stress for Improved IntimacyLastly, we discussed how releasing stress through body awareness can significantly improve intimacy. By cultivating a greater understanding of our bodies and recognizing the impact of childhood experiences, we can pave the way for healthier, more fulfilling relationships.https://www.rodeparel.nl/https://www.facebook.com/maya.kerstan.3 Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

I was incredibly flattered when Joan Price, who wrote the first book about sex over 60, Naked at Our Age, got in touch about coming on the show to publicise the recently relaunched and expanded edition of the award-winning, Sex After Grief: Navigating your Sexuality after Losing your Beloved.Joan Price is a true trailblazer in the world of senior sexuality and I am very much following in her footsteps when it comes to tackling the taboos around sex in later life. During our conversation, Joan shared her inspiring journey into writing about senior sexuality, and why she has reworked her latest book, bravely tackling the challenges of navigating grief and intimacy. She offered some fantastic advice for anyone looking to embrace their sexuality and explore new relationships after a loss. We emphasised how crucial it is to have honest conversations about our desires, boundaries, and the exciting possibilities of reinventing our sexuality later in life. She will definitely be coming back onto Sex Advice for Seniors in the New Year!Here are some key takeaways from our conversation:* Grief can deeply affect our sexual desires and relationships, but it doesn't have to define them.* The pandemic has changed how we grieve and connect with others.* Clear communication about what we want and need in new relationships is essential.* Older people can discover new and fulfilling ways to explore their sexuality after the death of a partner.* Talking about death can actually help ease guilt for those left behind.* Approaching dating as a fun experiment rather than a heavy commitment can take the pressure off.Here's a quick rundown of the chapters we covered:00:00 - Introduction to Senior Sexuality06:00 - Navigating Grief and Sexuality11:55 - Understanding Sexual Urges After Loss17:55 - Communicating Desires and Boundaries24:01 - Reinventing Sexuality in Later Life30:07 - Dating in the Modern Agehttps://www.joanprice.com* Newly updated: Sex after Grief: Navigating Your Sexuality after Losing Your Beloved* Author of award-winning Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex* Now on BlueSky https://bsky.app/profile/joanprice.bsky.social* For senior sex news and views, subscribe to Joan's newsletter: https://witty-feather-67285.myflodesk.com/sun5wbx417 Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

Holly's journey began in a poverty-stricken family in Delaware, where she became the first in her extended family to attend college, earning a full scholarship to Liberty University. After graduating with a degree in Biblical Studies and receiving the Horatio Alger scholarship, she initially aspired to be a missionary but later navigated a 20-year marriage that ended amicably. Embracing various roles, Holly found her true passion in empowering women and fostering communities that combat loneliness. Through social media, she helps women navigate relationships and promotes self-love, drawing from her extensive personal growth journey. Now living on a farm near Charlotte, North Carolina, she leads a women's group called Soul Sisters, connecting women in support and sisterhood.Navigating Love and Self-Discovery: An Empowering JourneyIf you follow relationship and dating coaches on any of the social media platforms, then you'll have come across @Hope with Holly, who delivers straight talking, b******t-free advice, mainly based on her own experience from a restrictive upbringing in a Christian cult to the often chaotic world of modern dating. Holly's experiences are a testament to the complexities of love, intimacy, and self-discovery, and I could have talked to her for hours! From Restriction to LiberationHolly's background undeniably shaped her views on sex and relationships. She experienced sex for the first time on the first night of her wedding. Growing up in a cult environment, she faced strict limitations that impacted her understanding of intimacy and it was fascinating to hear how she has transformed those early lessons into a journey of exploration and empowerment that has led her to become the superstar she is today. The Role of Emotional IntelligenceOne of the most striking points Holly made was about the critical importance of emotional intelligence in dating. Relationships are not just about chemistry; they require a deep understanding of oneself and one's partner. Communication about sexual preferences is essential for building fulfilling connections. “You can teach a good man to be a good lover,” she reminded us, highlighting the importance of sharing desires openly.The Dating App DilemmaWe also discussed the wild west world of dating apps. While they can sometimes feel like a “dumpster fire,” they also offer opportunities for connection - once you know what you want. Holly shared her very amusing anecdotes, navigating the ups and downs with these platforms, and highlighting the need for patience, resilience and, above all, knowing what you want and sticking to your guns until you find a suitable partner.Friendship as a FoundationWe touched on the idea that friendship can serve as a strong foundation for romantic relationships. Situationships, while often complicated, can provide valuable insights into compatibility and what we truly desire in a partner. Compromise, as Holly emphasised, is key to navigating these particular types of relationships.Redefining Societal ExpectationsThroughout our conversation, we acknowledged how societal expectations can limit personal happiness. Women, in particular, should feel empowered to express their desires and understand what they want in relationships. Physical connection is essential for emotional well-being, and for Holly, that meant holding off on intimacy until she had established a genuine connection with her partner. Chapters00:00 Introduction to Hope with Holly05:55 Exploring Sexual Awakening and Education11:54 Finding Emotional Connection in Relationships18:04 Building a Relationship from Friendship28:11 The Journey of Self-Discovery35:06 The Importance of Physical Connection42:47 Empowerment and Hope in Self-DiscoverySex Advice for Seniors is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. I can't keep going without your help to pay for all the work that goes into this, including software subscriptions, editing, and time.You can also schedule a 1:1 call with her on her website:https://stan.store/HopeWithHollyhttps://www.tiktok.com/@hopewithhollyhttps://www.instagram.com/hope_with_holly/https://www.facebook.com/HopeWithHollyCoach/http://www.youtube.com/@hopewithholly Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

In a recent conversation, I had the pleasure of interviewing Ena Xena, an orgasmic human design coach, and we delved into the fascinating intersection of human design principles and intimacy. Ena's insights opened up a whole new perspective on how we can enhance our relationships, particularly for those of us over 50.Understanding Human DesignEna introduced the concept of an “orgasmic human design coach.” This unique approach merges intimacy advice with the principles of human design, allowing individuals to better understand their sexual energy and intimacy needs. Each person's human design chart reveals both conscious and unconscious aspects, providing a roadmap for personal and relational growth.Enhancing RelationshipsOne of the key takeaways from our discussion was how understanding human design can improve relationship dynamics and decision-making. Ena explained that analysing intimacy and compatibility through human design connection charts can reveal valuable insights about how partners interact and support each other's needs.Sex Advice for Seniors is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.The Importance of Sexual EnergyWe emphasised that sexual energy is vital for our well-being and should be nurtured throughout life. Ena noted, “We create a third being in a relationship,” highlighting how couples can cultivate a shared energy that enhances their connection. Regular dates and intentional time together are crucial for maintaining the health of a relationship. “Don't take each other for granted,” she advised, a reminder that intentionality matters.Workshops and Self-DevelopmentEna offers a variety of workshops and courses designed to help individuals explore their sexual energy and enhance relational well-being. She articulated how self-development is essential for sustaining long-term relationships. By investing in personal growth, partners can keep their connections vibrant and fulfilling.Chapters00:00 Introduction to Orgasmic Human Design Coaching03:09 Understanding Human Design and Its Impact05:58 The Connection Between Human Design and Intimacy09:05 Integrating Orgasmic Therapy with Human Design11:55 The Importance of Sexual Energy in Relationships14:54 Creating a Nurturing Relationship17:55 Tools for Sustaining Long-Term Relationships21:02 Workshops and Courses Offered by Ena XenaYou can find Ena Xena here:https://openwing.weebly.com/A big THANK YOU to all my subscribers, both paid and unpaid. When I first started this 2 1/2 years ago, I never could have imagined I would now be speaking on panels with academics talking about sexual health in older adults, being asked to participate in TV programmes about Sex over 60. However, most of this kind of work is completely unpaid. I don't like to put my posts behind a paywall because I'm a great believer that good sex shouldn't be something you have to pay for to learn about although I get that's the Substack business model. However, it does take considerable time out of my day to participate in all the activities at which I am being asked to contribute, and that's where your paid subscription comes in. The more money I can generate from this Substack and brand collaborations, the more time I can focus on Sex Advice for Seniors.Your £4.99/month or £49.99/year can help me to reach more people who may be wondering how to go about having pleasurable sex in later life. Suzanne Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

In every episode, I learn something new and in this conversation with pelvic floor physiotherapist (yup, it's a thing) Amanda Olson and I talk about pelvic health, especially for women navigating menopause and beyond. It's a topic that often lurks in the shadows, but it's about time we confront many of the issues that arise from having a weak pelvic floor that go beyond incontinence!Understanding Pelvic Health and Intimate RosePelvic health is a vital part of overall well-being, affecting individuals of all genders and ages. Many people don't realise how impactful pelvic issues can be, but Amanda's insights about her company, Intimate Rose, and why she started it, were enlightening. They've crafted tools like vaginal dilators and pelvic wands that empower people to take charge of their health.The Importance of Vaginal DilatorsAmanda shared a gem of wisdom: “If you don't use it, you can lose it.” Vaginal dilators help maintain the elasticity and mobility of vaginal tissue, which is crucial, especially during menopause when our bodies undergo significant changes.Navigating Menopause and Pelvic Floor ChangesMenopause can feel like a rollercoaster of emotions and physical shifts. It's a time of transformation, and understanding the changes in pelvic floor health is essential. We talked about how many women are unaware of the resources available to them, which is why education is so vital.The Role of Psychological Factors in Pelvic HealthWe also explored the psychological side of pelvic health. Our bodies can develop deep guarding reflexes due to pain or trauma, making it even more challenging to navigate these issues. It's important to recognize that these feelings are valid—“It's a true issue, and they're not crazy,” Amanda said.Addressing Sexual Health Post-CancerFor those who have faced cancer treatments, the impact on sexual health can be profound. It's never too late to address these concerns, and tools like dilators can play a crucial role in restoring quality of life.Empowerment and Quality of Life for SeniorsThe overarching message from our discussion was one of empowerment. Quality of life can significantly improve with proper pelvic care, and it's essential for everyone to feel equipped to manage their health. “These are all quality of life issues,” we agreed, emphasising the importance of proper lubrication for comfortable experiences.Check out the full range of products here.Chapters00:00 Understanding Pelvic Health and Intimate Rose02:57 The Importance of Vaginal Dilators05:48 Navigating Menopause and Pelvic Floor Changes09:08 The Role of Psychological Factors in Pelvic Health11:50 Personal Stories and the Impact of Accidents14:49 Addressing Sexual Health Post-Cancer18:10 The Functionality of Pelvic Health Tools20:48 Misdiagnosis and the Need for Awareness24:03 The Path to Pelvic Health Care26:52 Empowerment and Quality of Life for SeniorsWhere to find Intimate Rose:https://www.intimaterose.com/https://www.facebook.com/IntimateRosehttps://www.instagram.com/intimaterose/Sex Advice for Seniors is a reader-supported publication. Your subscription not only pays for my bread and butter sandwiches, but goes towards helping to normalise the conversation around sexual pleasure in later life. For only £4.99/month or £49.99/year you can support me to spend more time talking on panels, chasing down guests, writing articles, making videos and spreading the word about how to enjoy sex when you're older! Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

In my recent conversation with Marina Gerner, author of ‘The Vagina Business' we delved into the fascinating and rapidly evolving field of FemTech, a sector dedicated to harnessing technology to enhance women's health. As anyone with a vagina will tell you, trying to raise investment for their business, whether in the world of female health or otherwise, there are myriad challenges such entrepreneurs face.It's disheartening to see how societal taboos surrounding women's health can hinder investment and innovation, but hardly surprising, as most investors are men. Marina and I discussed the need to break down these barriers and foster greater awareness and education about women's health issues. This is crucial not just for entrepreneurs but for all of us who care about improving women's health outcomes.We also touched on significant topics like menopause and sexual health in older age. These are often overlooked areas that deserve much more attention in discussions and the marketplace. The regulatory hurdles that complicate introducing new products only add to the complexity of the landscape, making it even more vital that we advocate for change.Marina's book, The Vagina Business, serves as an essential guide through the innovations and challenges within this space. She has done a tremendous job of showcasing the range of products and services being developed and the challenges these founders face in bringing them to market. It underscores the urgent need for support and solutions prioritising women's health. I left with the hope that many of these products eventually see the light of day with their ability to transform female health and are not simply left on the page.You can find out more and buy Marina's book here.Website: https://www.marinagerner.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marinagerner/Sex Advice for Seniors is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

I've been looking forward to this conversation for a couple of months, since coming across Stella Fosse on Substack. A rarity in the world of romance and erotic writing, Stella has a unique perspective, writing for and about older adults. We discuss the challenges and biases in the publishing industry, the importance of representation, and the evolving landscape of self-publishing. Stella shares her journey into writing, the differences between erotica and romance, and the significance of community and social media in building an audience. Our conversation highlights the joy of writing as a form of play and the potential for older characters to inspire readers.Takeaways* The publishing industry often favours younger characters in romance and erotica.* Older women writing erotica can challenge societal norms and stereotypes.* Self-publishing has opened new avenues for authors to share their work.* Erotica focuses on sexuality, while romance centres on character development and relationships.* Diversity in romance writing is still a work in progress.* Marketing for indie authors requires a different approach than traditional publishing.* Social media is crucial for building an audience and credibility.* Writing can be a playful exploration of fantasies and desires.* Community support among writers enhances the creative process.* Older characters in romance can provide relatable role models for readers.Gift Yourself or Others a Subscription to Sex Advice for Seniors This Christmas!As the holiday season approaches, consider giving the gift of knowledge and open conversation about sexuality in later life. Subscribing to Sex Advice for Seniors supports the destigmatisation of these important discussions and highlights the incredible individuals I've interviewed who share this passion. Join us in fostering a more open dialogue about sex and ageing!Chapters00:00 Introduction to Erotic Writing for Older Audiences02:54 The Journey into Writing Erotica05:49 Breaking Age Stereotypes in Romance09:06 The Evolution of Publishing and Self-Publishing12:10 Understanding the Differences: Erotica vs. Romance14:54 Diversity and Representation in Romance Writing17:52 Marketing Strategies for Indie Authors21:02 The Role of Social Media in Building an Audience24:04 The Creative Process of Writing Erotica27:06 Exploring Fantasies Through Writing29:59 The Importance of Community in Writing33:01 Conclusion and Future AspirationsWebsite:  www.stellafosse.comFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/StellaFosseAuthor/Twitter: stellafosseLinkedIn:  www.linkedin.com/in/stellafosseInstagram:  @stella.fosseCheck out Stella's Books and Stories:https://stellafosse.com/stella-fosses-books-stories/Write & Sell a Well-Seasoned Romance:Launch Your Author Adventure in Late-Life RomanceVampires of a Certain Age:Five Hundred Years of LovingBrilliant Charming B*****d:Getting Rich is the Best RevengeThe Erotic Pandemic Ball:  Tales of Love in LockdownAphrodite's Pen: The Power of Writing Erotica After Midlife Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

In this conversation, Indigo Stray Conger and I discuss the complexities of opening up relationships, particularly for those in long-term partnerships. We explore the spectrum of ethical non-monogamy, emphasising the importance of communication, understanding emotional dynamics, and navigating the challenges of swinging and polyamory. The discussion also highlights the significance of finding supportive communities and the potential for personal growth and exploration of sexuality later in life.takeaways* Ethical non-monogamy can mean different things to different people.* Communication is crucial when discussing opening up a relationship.* It's important to be on the same page about what opening up means.* Emotions can complicate agreements about non-monogamy.* Work with a coach or therapist experienced in non-monogamy.* Take time to discuss and explore feelings before jumping in.* Workshops can provide a safe space to explore sexuality.* Older adults can still explore their sexual selves.* Finding communities for non-monogamy can be challenging.* It's never too late to have these conversations.Chapters00:00 Introduction to Ethical Non-Monogamy03:00 Understanding the Spectrum of Opening Relationships05:57 Communication: The Key to Successful Non-Monogamy08:59 Navigating Emotions in Open Relationships11:56 The Challenges of Swinging and Polyamory14:49 Exploring Individual Interests in Relationships17:59 Finding Communities for Non-Monogamy20:51 Starting the Conversation About Opening Up23:58 Final Thoughts on Exploring Sexuality Later in LifeHere's the link to Indigo's Choosing Therapy article on open relationships and how to talk with your partner if you want to open up: What Is an Open Relationship?You can find Indigo Stray Conger here:milehighpsychotherapy.com Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

In this episode of 'Sex Advice for Seniors', I had the pleasure of chatting with sexologist Heather Howard about the challenges faced by individuals with mobility issues in experiencing sexual pleasure. How do you find the ideal, comfortable position to be intimate with your partner after a hip or knee replacement? How can you transition from perhaps a lifetime of having sex in a position that hits all the right spots to finding a new position that does the same?We discuss the importance of understanding ergonomic adjustments, the psychological impacts of mobility limitations, and the differences in sexual desire and identity across genders. Because I always encourage my guests to offer practical advice, Heather shares sexual positions for those recovering from surgery and emphasises the significance of mental flexibility in navigating sexual function. This conversation especially highlighted for me the need for accessible resources and open communication about sexuality, especially when your body parts aren't working like they used to!If you're feeling generous and want to show your appreciation for the work involved in creating this podcast, promoting it and, more generally, helping older people to have a happier, healthier, more fulfilling sex life, consider becoming a subscriber.Takeaways* Mobility issues can significantly impact sexual experiences.* Ergo Erotics provides resources for pleasurable comfort.* Common mobility issues include hip and knee pain and pelvic pain.* Psychological factors play a crucial role in sexual motivation.* Sexual identity is often tied to physical capability.* Mental flexibility can enhance sexual function post-injury.* Gender differences affect how individuals approach sexuality.* Practical adjustments can help maintain sexual intimacy after surgery.* Ergonomics in sexual activity can lead to sustainable pleasure.* Open communication about sexuality is essential for health providers.Chapters00:00 Introduction to Mobility and Sexuality Challenges03:07 Understanding ErgoErotics and Its Purpose06:05 Common Mobility Issues Affecting Sexuality09:01 Psychological Impact of Mobility Challenges on Sexuality11:59 Navigating Sexuality After Major Health Changes15:09 Gender Differences in Sexual Desire and Identity18:02 Practical Tips for Sexual Positions Post-Surgery20:48 The Role of Ergonomics in Sexual Comfort23:57 Exploring Tools and Aids for Enhanced Sexual Experience26:59 Conclusion and Resources for Further SupportThis episode is sponsored by Higher Nature - creators of the Rekindle supplement, which launched today! Nature's sexiest plant-powered blend, Rekindle, has been created to rekindle your passion. I'm currently testing this all-natural libido enhancer, which does what it says on the tin. :) Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

In this conversation, I enjoyed speaking with tantric teacher Rahasya to explore the intricate world of tantra and sacred sexuality. We delved into our personal journeys, cleared up some misconceptions surrounding tantra, and discussed its relevance for older adults. Together, we navigated the emotional complexities of sexual relationships, emphasising the importance of commitment on spiritual paths and the potential dangers of dabbling in tantra without proper guidance. Our discussion highlighted the necessity for a deeper understanding and respect for the practices involved in tantra, showcasing its transformative power when approached with seriousness and intention.Takeaways* I began my journey into sacred sexuality over two decades ago.* Awakening is just the beginning of a spiritual path, not the end.* Tantra is often misunderstood and misrepresented in modern culture.* The emotional side of tantra can be dangerous if not approached correctly.* Many enter tantra for superficial reasons, but true seekers discover deeper meaning.* Supporting older adults in their sexual journeys can lead to profound healing.* Past experiences significantly impact one's sexual expression and intimacy.* Dabbling in tantra without commitment can lead to negative experiences.* True spiritual paths require a level of commitment that many may not be prepared for.* The serious seeker must navigate the difficult and often uncomfortable path of spiritual growth.Sound Bites* "I completed my journey of sexuality by 40."* "Awakening is really the beginning of a path."* "Tantra is about learning from spiritual communities."Chapters* 00:00 Introduction to Sacred Sexuality* 02:59 The Journey of a Tantric Teacher* 05:56 Understanding Tantra: Beyond the Misconceptions* 09:11 The Role of Tantra in Relationships* 11:46 Supporting Older Adults in Their Sexual Journeys* 14:55 The Impact of Past Experiences on Sexuality* 17:57 The Dangers of Dabbling in Tantra* 21:00 The Commitment Required for Spiritual Paths* 23:58 Conclusion: The Path of the Serious Seeker Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Judson Brandeis to delve into the often-taboo topic of men's sexual health. We tackle critical issues like erectile dysfunction and testosterone replacement therapy, exploring how these challenges impact not just physical well-being but also mental and emotional health as men age.Our conversation sheds light on the vital role of blood flow and innovative treatments available for men over 60. We also confront the stigma that surrounds discussions of sexual health, emphasising the urgent need for awareness and education in this area.Sex Advice for Seniors is a reader-supported publication. Your subscription enables me to spend more time researching and speaking with my guests, promoting good sexual health for older adults and the cost of my recording software, editing, and other miscellaneous expenses.Key Takeaways:- Many men seek help for erectile dysfunction and testosterone replacement.- Testosterone can revitalise physical, mental, and sexual vitality.- Ageing often brings erectile dysfunction, which can affect confidence and relationships.- Medications like Viagra and Cialis are both safe and effective for treating erectile dysfunction.- Nitric oxide boosters can enhance the efficacy of these medications.- Healthy blood flow is crucial for sexual function and overall wellness.- Embracing the changes that come with ageing is key to proactive health management.- There is a significant stigma surrounding sexual health discussions, particularly for older men.- Men should also be informed about women's health issues linked to sexual wellness.- Open dialogue about sexual health can foster better outcomes for everyone involved.Sound Bites:- "Men's sexual health often gets brushed under the carpet."- "Testosterone can ignite your libido."- "Viagra and Cialis are nothing short of miraculous."Chapters:00:00 Introduction to Men's Sexual Health02:55 Understanding Testosterone and Its Impact05:58 The Role of Erectile Dysfunction Treatments09:01 The Psychological Aspects of ED12:00 Navigating Ageing and Sexual Health15:12 Innovative Treatments and Therapies18:07 The Importance of Blood Flow21:05 Addressing Stigmas in Sexual Health24:07 The Connection Between Heart Health and ED26:55 Final Thoughts on Sexual WellnessJoin us for an enlightening discussion that aims to break down barriers and promote healthier conversations around men's sexual health.https://brandeismd.com/Sex Advice for Seniors is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

Do you consider sex like a McDonald's burger or a Michelin-starred meal? Do you know the difference and what part tantra plays in how we connect with our partner(s)?I've interviewed several tantra practitioners over the years; each has a different take. In this episode, Janice Lee delves into the world of Tantra, exploring its true essence as she understands it beyond the clichés often associated with it. Sex Advice for Seniors is a reader-supported publication. Your support means I can spend more time researching and speaking with my guests, promoting good sexual health for older adults and for the cost of my recording software, editing and the other subscriptions I need to keep this show on the road!We discuss the importance of intimacy in sexual relationships, practical tips for reviving passion in long-term partnerships, and the significance of understanding one's own arousal. Janice shares her journey into Tantra and the misconceptions surrounding it, emphasising that genuine connection and intimacy are essential in modern dating.Sound Bites* "Tantra is about intimacy, not just sex."* "Sex has become kind of like fast food."* "It's about being playful and in the moment."Chapters00:00 Exploring the Essence of Tantra04:51 Reviving Intimacy in Long-Term Relationships09:50 Understanding Arousal and Communication14:59 The Journey to Authentic Sexuality20:11 Breaking Down Misconceptions About Tantra25:02 Finding Genuine Connection in Modern DatingYou can find Janice Lee (Jaylala) - Heart and Soul Tantra - here:Janice's Booking CalendarBio.Link/Jaylala & Social MediaJanice's YouTube ChannelBoundary Bliss On-line Course Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

In a recent post, I wrote about self-exploration and how little many women know and understand their anatomy, especially when it comes to sexual pleasure. This week's podcast is an interview with Michelle Germey, a Yoni therapist, about the importance of understanding female anatomy, the challenges women face regarding body confidence and sexual health, and the impact of ageing on sexual desire. We discuss the need for open communication about sexual issues, the role of clinical sexologists, and the resources available for women seeking help. The conversation emphasises the importance of self-exploration, acceptance of bodily changes, and the normalisation of diverse vulva appearances. Michelle shares insights on enhancing intimacy and pleasure, even as one ages, and the significance of scheduling intimacy in busy lives.Takeaways* The term 'Yoni' refers to female reproductive organs and embodies femininity.* Understanding one's anatomy is crucial for sexual health and confidence.* There is no 'normal' appearance for vulvas; diversity should be celebrated.* Ageing can lead to changes in sexual desire and physical response.* Communication about sexual health is essential for maintaining intimacy.* Accessing sexual health services can be challenging, especially for women.* Clinical sexologists play a vital role in addressing sexual health issues.* Women often experience shame around their sexuality and bodies.* Self-exploration and understanding personal pleasure are important.* Scheduling intimacy can help maintain a fulfilling sexual life.Sound Bites* "I wanted to specialize in female biomedical issues."* "The Yoni is those female organs of the womb."* "There is no normal; it's just what it is."Chapters00:00 Introduction to Yoni Therapy02:50 Understanding the Yoni and Female Anatomy06:04 Body Confidence and Normalizing Vulva Diversity08:55 Ageing, Sexual Desire, and Changes in the Body11:59 Communication and Overcoming Sexual Shame14:47 Accessing Sexual Health Services and Support18:09 The Role of Clinical Sexologists21:01 Exploring Female Sexuality and Pleasure23:46 Scheduling Intimacy and Finding Pleasure26:52 Resources for Sexual Health and TherapySex Advice for Seniors is a reader-supported publication. Your support means I can spend more time researching and speaking with my guests, promoting good sexual health for older adults and for the cost of my recording software, editing and the other subscriptions I need to keep this show on the road!https://www.cosrt.org.uk/search-members/You can find Psychosexual Services on the NHS here. Not all regions offer these services.Exampleshttps://slam.nhs.uk/service-detail/service/psychosexual-service-114/https://www.guysandstthomas.nhs.uk/our-services/psychosexual-clinic Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

In this episode, I interviewed Susan Bratton, an intimacy advisor, wellness expert, author of numerous books about sex and relationships, and veritable powerhouse with 44 programs, gifts, and subscriptions. A topic that comes up time and time again here is how to communicate with one's partner or anyone with whom you intend to be intimate about your sexual desires. This is where Susan's concept of a sexual soulmate pact comes in, which we discussed in this episode. We explored the significance of open communication and the benefits of ageless sexuality. Susan explained that a sexual soulmate pact is an agreement between partners to openly discuss their needs, desires, and boundaries throughout their intimacy journey. This pact fosters ongoing communication and encourages partners to express themselves without fear of judgment. We also discussed the idea of a sex life bucket list, which can help couples explore new experiences and keep their sex life exciting.Takeaways* A sexual soulmate pact is an agreement between partners to openly discuss their needs, desires, and boundaries before, during, and after intimacy.* Open communication is key to maintaining a satisfying and fulfilling sex life.* Ageless sexuality is possible, and sex can continue to improve and bring joy throughout life.* A sex life bucket list can help couples explore new experiences and keep their sex life exciting.Sound Bites* "I've written 44 books and one of the books that I've written is called Sexual Soulmates, the six essentials for connected sex."* "The sexual soulmate pact takes care of two big problems: 'I don't know what I want' and 'I don't want to say anything because I don't want my partner to feel like they've done something wrong.'"* "The sexual soulmate pact is the antidote to the monotony of monogamy."Chapters00:00 Introduction and Welcoming Susan Bratton03:05 The Concept of a Sexual Soulmate Pact08:02 Addressing Communication Challenges18:44 The Antidote to the Monotony of Monogamy23:58 Desire: Safety, Security, Novelty, and Variety33:12 Sexual Confidence and General ConfidenceYou can find Susan at:SusanBratton.comBetterLover.comDownload your FREE Sexual Soulmate Pact here Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

What is your sexual birthright and can you say, with 100% honesty, that you are able to fully embrace your sexual self without shame, embarrassment or fear? That's the topic of this week's discussion with one of my oldest guests, Galen Fous, a sex therapist and educator. During our conversation, we discussed the role of kink and the erotic in maintaining an active sex life, even with physical limitations. Galen encourages couples to have open and honest conversations about their desires and to explore the vast territory of pleasure beyond traditional friction sex. He also highlights the healing and empowering aspects of reclaiming one's sexuality.Sex Advice for Seniors is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.Takeaways* Explore your authentic sexuality and embrace your sexual birthright.* Engage in open and honest conversations with your partner about your desires and fantasies.* Move beyond traditional friction sex and explore the vast territory of pleasure available to you.* Reclaim your sexuality and heal any past wounds or traumas.* Embrace the opportunity to deepen intimacy and connection with your partner through sexual exploration.Sound Bites* "I'm still having sex at least three times a week and I'm talking about sex that is in the range of three to five hours per session."* "This is the great time of life. You know, this is your time to have the freedom to pursue what interests you and what excites you. And sex can certainly be a big part of that."* "To be honest, it's a very complicated at this stage when we have decades of indoctrination and programming and beliefs and stories and judgments and experience painful experiences and all those things now have are a big, those are all tangled up with your authentic sexual expression."Chapters00:00 Introduction and Unique Perspective03:12. Maintaining an Active Sex Life in Later Life08:45. Embracing Freedom and Pursuing Sexual Pleasure11:36. Untangling Beliefs and Programming18:15. Moving Beyond Friction Sex26:07. Exploring the Vast Territory of Pleasure31:51. The Importance of Honesty and Courage34:37Conclusion and Invitation for Further ConversationsFind Galen at : https://GalenFous.comSex Advice for Seniors is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

When I was growing up, there was a cult-like therapy called EST (Erhard Seminars Training), which couples and singles could attend. I subsequently learned that it became Landmark Forum. I mention it because when I think of retreats, having never attended one, they always feel mysterious and somewhat secretive. Still, I know plenty of people who regularly go on retreats, and I know now how beneficial it can be to switch off from the world for several days and absorb whatever knowledge is being imparted. Kanya Ford, my guest on this week's podcast, hosts a couples retreat called Fools in Love Couples Retreat. Here, couples can take a break from their usual environment and address relationship issues. The retreat includes purposeful activities, community meals, and opportunities for couples to support and learn from each other. Each year, she introduces new elements to keep the sessions fresh and interesting.The retreat lasts from Thursday or Friday to Sunday afternoon. As she explains during our conversations, emotions can run high during the retreat, with happy tears, sad tears, and frustration. The motivation for attending the retreat varies, from reigniting sexual passion to seeking help before marriage. The retreat is open to a diverse mix of people, and the average age of attendees is between 35 and 45. What particularly fascinated me about her retreat is that she tends to keep them below ten people so each couple is able to spend quality time with Kanya and the other participants, as well as with each other.In addition to the retreat, Kanya offers one-on-one coaching and group classes called Mind Phucked (I love this!), which focus on utilising the mind to set the body free in relationships. These classes include touch yoga, pleasure mapping, and deep stretch exercises. Kanya emphasises the importance of maintaining intimacy and connection in relationships, especially in the senior years.00:00 Introduction to the Fools in Love Couples Retreat01:24 Digging into Relationship Nuances at the Retreat04:06 Addressing Emotions and Apologies at the Retreat05:13 Motivations for Attending the Retreat15:13 Utilising the Mind in Group ClassesYou can find Kanya at:https://loveandintimacy101.com/https://www.instagram.com/coachkay101Sex Advice for Seniors is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

In this episode, I have the pleasure of chatting with Denise Renye, who is a sexologist, sex therapist, yoga therapist, and psychedelic therapist. We dive into the fascinating role of psychedelics in the lives of older adults and how they can enhance intimacy and help manage pain. Denise shares her insights on being a psychedelic therapist and how she guides individuals in integrating their experiences into everyday life.We also discuss the importance of communication in relationships and how psychedelics can open up new avenues for exploring desires, boosting both emotional and physical connections. It's a heartfelt conversation that underscores the need for greater awareness and access to professionals in the field of sex therapy. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!Chapters00:00 Introduction to Denise Renye and her multiple titles03:21 Integration of psychedelic experiences06:18 Enhancing relationships through psychedelics12:43 Breaking down boundaries in relationships19:28 Using sensual activities to enhance intimacy25:54 The importance of sensate focus technique32:00 The need for awareness and access to sex therapy professionalsDr. Denise RenyeLicensed Psychologist* Certified Sexologist * Psychedelic Assisted Therapy and Integration * Certified Yoga Therapisthttps://WholePersonIntegration.com Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

Darlaine Honey is a Sexual Health Advisor working with Berkshire Healthcare and lives in Surrey, South of England. Having been diagnosed with lobular breast cancer, she is also an advocate for Breast Cancer Now on the workflow task force plus Breast Cancer Now / Ann Summers/My ViV collaboration for sex after breast cancer. During the COVID lockdown, Darlaine and some friends formed the charity Lobular Breast Cancer so that other women could learn more about it.As is evident from our discussion and from previous discussions I've had with those working in the area of sexual health, both in the UK and in the US, there's not enough being done to support older people to have a healthier and happier sex life. There's an assumption that sexual health advisors are there to support younger people. At the same time, the stats reveal that more older people are presenting with STDs than ever before, thanks to escalating divorce rates and the opportunity through dating apps and elsewhere for sexual encounters. I also learned, towards the end of our conversation, of the impact of drugs used to treat breast cancer on women's sexual health and was shocked to discover how they may contribute to vaginal atrophy and a significant decline in libido and sensitivity, none of which patients are commonly told when undergoing treatment. My friend Sam Evans, who runs a sex toy shop called Jo Divine, has spoken via her social media channels about ‘medical misogyny' and, in talking with Darlaine, it's clear how much more needs to be done to ensure women receive the information we all deserve to make educated decisions about our overall wellbeing which includes our sexual health. If you'd like to learn more about Darlaine's work, you can reach her on LinkedIn.Show your support for Lobular Breast Cancer here:https://lobularbreastcancer.org.uk/darlaine-honey/Sex Advice for Seniors is a reader-supported publication. Paid subscribers support my ongoing work to help older people have a healthier, happier sex life and receive an additional subscriber-only post per week. Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

Gigi Raven Wilbur is an American bisexual rights activist and writer. They have a bachelor's degree in philosophy and a master's degree in social work. I suspect 50 Shades of Grey has contributed to confusion around what BDSM entails and how it can be used to enhance one's intimate life. I recall upon reading it and all the publicity that ensued upon its publication that there was outrage from those within the BDSM community that their lifestyle choice should be portrayed so inaccurately. Even my kids who knew I dabbled in this world said at the time, “You should go on TV and tell them it's not like this!” The fact is that BDSM (Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism) has many benefits as Gigi and I discuss during this podcast. It can enhance one's intimate relationships by enabling conversations that touch on consent, power dynamics, pain and sometimes how this may relate to earlier trauma. It can, without any penetration being involved, transport its participants to altered states of consciousness, sometimes called sub-space. And it can be playful, imaginative and fun. In my experience, people I've met in the lifestyle are some of the most open and considerate people I know, for whom consent is paramount and pleasure is key.Gigi is also deeply involved with the BDSM world. Today, she advocates for the healing, cathartic, and spiritual power of BDSM as founder and Sacred Harlot of Aphrodite's Temple. This modern-day sex temple provides sex-positive education and a sex-positive sacred play space for adults. Gigi's book is called The Dominant's Handbook: an Intimate Guide to BDSM Play. Gigi wrote the essay Walking in Shadows: Third Gender and Spirituality about her intersex identity.If you're interested in exploring this further, check out these links:The BDSM Interest Evaluation - https://www.ravenslairleather.com/free-offersThe Dominant's Handbook - An Intimate Guide to BDSM -https://www.ravenslairleather.com/ravenslairbooksAdult Bedtime Stories - https://rss.com/podcasts/adult-bedtime-stories/ Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

A friend suggested that I celebrate Episode 100 of this podcast by reuniting my former co-hosts, Peter Marriott and Zoe Kors. Since Peter and I started recording the podcast in June, much has changed - some of it good and some not-so-good. For a start, Peter moved to Sheffield, where he had been a lecturer at the University for many years. He is rekindling old friendships, making lots of new ones, and dabbling in the local kink scene.Zoe, meanwhile, is on the verge of launching a new course, Practical Intimacy for Couples, is writing her memoir (!), and, from the sound of it, has a full roster of clients.I'm also juggling the increasing demands of hosting this podcast alongside my new role as UK Sales & Marketing Director for Firmtech, singing and co-facilitating Startup School for Seniors. I hope you enjoy this particular episode. And if you appreciate the work we all have put in, please consider becoming a paid subscriber, which will help contribute to the running costs while helping to enhance and support the sex lives of older people. :)Sex Advice for Seniors is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

I met Mo in Las Palmas six months ago when she told me about her desire to open a co-working space there. Well, it opened two weeks ago! So, I decided to take the opportunity to talk to her about her dating life while on a six-day trip there.Although there's more than a 10-year age gap between us, we share our frustration and the problems that come with trying to find a partner using an app. As someone who has tried various apps over the years, I've become increasingly frustrated with the superficial and ineffective nature of online dating. It seems I'm not alone, as multiple articles have been published recently about their ineffectiveness.While Mo comes from the ‘Hot or Not' days, and my history dates back to a very early dating site/erotic magazine called Nerve, we have noticed how swiping reduces people to their physical attributes and tries to ‘gamify' the whole experience. The matching algorithms feel so shallow as if they're more focused on looks than actual compatibility. Another major problem is the lack of meaningful communication. It's become so common for people to simply "ghost"—disappear without any explanation. This is incredibly disheartening and makes the whole dating process feel like a draining chore rather than an opportunity to find a genuine connection.Mo and I agree that in-person interaction is so important in dating. There's an energy and chemistry that can't be captured on a screen.This episode gets at the heart of our frustrations with modern dating. I hope it encourages listeners to approach finding a partner in a more holistic and authentic way rather than relying solely on these flawed dating apps. The right connection is out there; we just have to be willing to try to find it! Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

I met Leora Lightwoman by chance at the launch party for Monique Roffey's new book, Passiontide, which I highly recommend as a great summer read. Leora's name had come up over the years within the tantra community, so I was delighted when she booked to come on the show and talk about her work. Softly spoken, Leora exudes calmness, which explains why she is highly sought after by those who want to deepen their intimacy and connection with their partner.Tantra has had a negative reputation over the years, and I know from speaking to many "tantric practitioners" that its definition can vary greatly from person to person. As someone who has explored this practice and enjoyed techniques I've read about in the classic "The Art of Sexual Ecstasy" by Margot Anand and learned from practitioners such as Jahnet Delight, I was pleased to learn that Leora had studied with Anand, which suggested we would be on the same page discussing tantra.During our conversation, Leora delves into practical tips for using tantra, easy exercises for beginners, and what couples can expect when they come to her for relationship counselling. Sex Advice for Seniors is a reader-supported weekly newsletter. If you believe that maintaining a healthy and happy sex life in later years is important, and you want more people to feel confident about exploring sexual pleasure as they age, consider becoming a subscriber.Buy Leora's Book, Tantra: The Path to Blissful Sex, here.You can find Leora here: https://diamondlighttantra.com/https://www.facebook.com/DiamondLightTantra Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

I love to learn what motivates those working in sex education and as sex therapists/sexologists to choose this career path. For Austin Cresap, who works as a sex educator and sex therapist in Seattle, Washington, it was through numerous conversations with her grandma, now in her eighties. Since training, she has become her grandma's go-to person for discussing her intimate life, and Austin has, in turn, focused on the older generation as an aspect of her work. There's no cut-off date when it comes to learning about sex and intimacy. However, there is a shortage of information and interest from doctors in how to navigate one's sex life when older, especially when it comes to people who may live with chronic pain or have a chronic illness. And it's people such as Austin who can advocate for those who shy away from having uncomfortable conversations with medical professionals.As Austin and I acknowledge, so many messages exist about what is or isn't acceptable to do in later life. The more we can smash those taboos, reframe what older life can look like and embrace who we are, warts and all, the more we can continue to enjoy sex in a way that feels good for us.You can find Austin at her website: www.icameheretotalktherapy.com Instagram/TikTok: @icameheretotalkYou can find the accessible sex toy Austin recommends here: https://www.pushmobility.com.au/products/luddi-ziggy Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

The stats for the percentage of men with erectile dysfunction are pretty staggering:Approximately 41.5% of men in the UK reported experiencing ED, according to a 2018 study conducted by Viatris, Queen's University Belfast, and Pfizer. And it only increases with age: - Around 29.3% for men aged 18-39 - About 45.6% of men aged 40 and overAccording to research by the British Association of Urological Surgeons, 50-55% of British men between 40 and 70 years old have some degree of ED. Ken Schafer can count himself as one of those men who also struggled with ED, and, like many men, he went straight for Viagra to cure his problem. After some time, that failed to work, so he started to look for other solutions. His journey led him to write a book, ‘A Practical Guide to Managing Erectile Dysfunction' and to help now men like himself struggling with ED. In particular, he signposts his clients to specific practitioners who can support them in becoming more fit and healthy and, as a result, remove the requirement for pharmaceuticals and other medical interventions.I found Ken's honesty and willingness to be vulnerable about this particular challenge with ED very refreshing. And if you have a title for his job, please share it with me!Web: https://www.healthysexualitywithken.com/Social media:https://www.instagram.com/healthys3xualitywithken/https://www.tiktok.com/@healthys3xualitywithkenhttps://www.youtube.com/@HealthySexualityWithKenLLChttps://www.facebook.com/healthys3xualitywithkenllchttps://twitter.com/HSWKen Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

Dr Marcy Brink is an intimacy and relationship coach who is here to challenge the traditional "relationship escalator" and explore alternative paths to connection and fulfilment. Many of us have already lived the life outlined by societal norms - the expected progression of dating, exclusivity, marriage, and children. Relationship counsellors call this the ‘relationship escalator.' But as we grow older, we may begin to wonder, "What else is possible?" Dr. Brink's clients have expressed a desire for more flexibility and autonomy in their relationships. They want to enjoy sexual and romantic connections without the pressure of traditional commitments like marriage or cohabitation.Younger generations are already paving the way, freely exploring alternative sexualities and designing new models of intimacy. Embracing meaningful connections with play partners, dating across age differences, and trying consensual non-monogamy are just a few examples of the innovative ways people are redefining intimacy.During our conversation, we discussed how social norms have shaped our dating and sex lives and how we can begin to think deeply about our authentic needs and desires. The goal is to empower us to communicate these needs openly with potential partners so we can all experience more pleasure and fulfilment in our later lives.Join us as we rethink the relationship escalator and discover the vast possibilities for creating the intimate connections we genuinely crave.https://www.instagram.com/marcy.brink/https://www.facebook.com/sexandintimacy/http://linkedin.com/in/marcy-brink-phd-sexandintimacy Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

This week's episode is all about the benefits of slow sex. I've been giving this a lot of thought recently, especially after my exquisite massage with Colin Richards, in which I was lucky enough to experience nearly two hours of undivided time completely devoted to my pleasure. After that experience, I immediately went out and bought a feather implement and a back scratcher that I wanted to try out with a lover as a part of a slow sex/massage session. One of the benefits of being an older person is reconsidering what intimacy can be without the desperate urgency that we may have felt when we were younger to get to the ‘finish line.' Whether we're talking about solo pleasure or with a partner, we can take our time and, in doing so, let the experience take us wherever we want it to go. Amara Charles has three decades of experience as an intimacy coach. In this episode, she shared practical tips for reigniting your sex life and relationships and “becoming the happiest, most fulfilled version of yourself without sacrificing anything.”If your love life has gone a bit stale, or you're in an intimacy rut, have a listen. Amara is very generously offering a gift of a 45-minute session for anyone who would like to consider working with her. Details below.Amara Charles GiftA Complimentary 45 Min. Intimacy Breakthrough SessionOn this call, she will listen to your unique situation, find out what's missing, and we'll create a plan to achieve what you want.www.amaracharleslove.com/applyIntimacy Retreats, Coaching and Sexuality Educationwww.Amaracharles.com    Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

Today's podcast episode came about from a conversation I recorded with Paul Telford, the CEO of Emotional Bliss, a company focused on sexual pleasure. Paul has made it his mission to support older women in attaining sexual satisfaction. I was introduced to Paul by another guest, Kelly Connell, who suggested we discuss Paul's interest in how orgasms can help alleviate menopause symptoms. While I don't completely dismiss this idea, I believe that anything that feels good raises dopamine levels and enhances physical connection with a partner benefits both physical and mental health.Originally from Yorkshire, Paul may not be the person you would immediately associate with someone who cares about women's sexual health. However, his perspective changed after a conversation with a sex therapist.According to Paul, "During that encounter, I discovered that a significantly higher number of women rely on antidepressants compared to men. This is because men self-medicate throughout their lives, and it's even encouraged, while most women do not."Paul began collaborating with leading sex therapists, as well as mechanical and electrical engineers. This collaboration led to the creation of Emotional Bliss, which developed prototypes of intimate massagers for women. After extensive work to find the best shapes, contact areas, textures, and vibrations, they received feedback and now offer a range of products with innovative features. These include incorporating heat and specific low vibrations that are ideal for targeting the larger clitoral nerves.I hope you'll enjoy this episode, and if you'd like to win an Emotional Bliss Intimate Massager, we have two to give away. All you have to do is refer your friends to this newsletter. The one who generates the most sign-ups by 30th June will win a vibrator. Sex Advice for Seniors is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

In this week's episode, I interview Erika Shershun, a licensed therapist specialising in working with sexual trauma survivors, the author of the Healing Sexual Trauma Workbook and facilitator of the PESI Sexual Trauma Clinical Training. Erika has counselled numerous older people who have had symptoms worsen later in life and is now seeking healing for sexual trauma from years earlier. Often, they've been in therapy prior but didn't get the results they were looking for.There is no expiry date when it comes to learning how to heal from any form of sexual trauma that may have taken place when a child, a teenager or in adulthood. And, as I've heard from specialists working in this area, the more we work through issues from our past, the more likely we will have a fulfilling relationship in the future.Erika, herself a survivor of sexual trauma, talks about her own healing journey and about how she goes about helping others to “reclaim the life they were meant to live.” She is based in California.Erika Shershun, MA, LMFT (she/her) Author of the Healing Sexual Trauma Workbook PESI Sexual Trauma Clinical TrainingHealing Sexual Trauma Journey    ErikaShershunTherapy.com | HealingSexualTrauma.com  Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

Welcome to Episode 90! It's wonderful to have you here. What started back in 2022 as a bit of a lark with (who now edits every episode) has turned into a chart-topping podcast, featured in The Guardian, The Telegraph, and multiple women's magazines. Along the way, I've learned more about sex than I thought possible, interviewed amazing experts from all walks of life, and hopefully opened your mind to deepening your own intimacy, whether with yourself or a partner.This week, I'm in conversation with Colin Richards, whom I first heard about through a friend who had trained with him in sensual massage and spoke highly of him. Colin is well-known in the media, having helped over 8,000 clients since he started his practice back in 2005, to improve their sexual confidence and "gain a broader understanding of their partner's and others' sexuality to enhance their personal and intimate lifestyles."During our discussion, we explore how intimate massage can be a gateway to understanding one's own erogenous zones and how, by allowing oneself to be pleasured by another with no need for reciprocation, we can experience the sexual pleasure we all deserve. I'm a firm believer that finding one's way to a happy, healthy sex life can happen at any stage of life, and intimate massage can be one way to understand one's own body. I'm looking forward to experiencing one of Colin's divine massages firsthand in a couple of weeks and will report back to paid subscribers.Speaking of which, many thanks to those of you who have taken up a paid subscription. I truly appreciate it, and I have a backlog of toy reviews to catch up on, which you can look forward to if you're one of those who have chosen to pay £4.99/month. I'll also be sharing details of my holiday in Cap d'Agde, the world's largest naturist village, where I'm currently enjoying a break for a few days. It's a whole lot of fun here!Sex Advice for Seniors is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Paid subscribers receive additional posts and discounts from trusted suppliers.You can find Colin Richards at:Facebook; https://www.facebook.com/IntimacymattersTwitter; https://twitter.com/IntimacyMattersWebsite: https://www.intimacymatters.co.ukColin is a member of The Association of Somatic & Integrative Sexologists Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

This week, I had the privilege of speaking with Dr. Rebbeca Lahann, a licensed psychotherapist since the late 1990s who has recently become a certified sex therapist. Her resume is impressively extensive.Dr. Lahann has delivered many keynote addresses, and our conversation previews her upcoming talk, "Are Your Client's Sexual Values Aligned, or in a 69?", which she will present at the AASECT 2024 Annual Conference in St. Louis, Missouri, on June 12.As we discussed, personal values serve as a compass that guides our lives and helps us understand and appreciate our self-development. However, when it comes to our sexual values, they may not always be aligned. How many of us, for example, would value honesty but feel reluctant to be completely transparent with our sexual partners?Alternatively, if our first experiences of sex were non-consensual or shaped by the lens of pornography, how much does this create conflict or misalignment between our sexual values and our personal values? If that is the case, what do we need to do to help align our sexual values with our personal values?It's a weighty and multi-layered subject and one I certainly had not considered before.You can find more information about Dr Lahann on her website here.https://linktr.ee/DrRebbecaLahann. Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe