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3 episodes with respect he desperately needs
2 episodes with respect he desperately needs
2 episodes with respect he desperately needs
2 episodes with respect he desperately needs
Love & Respect. This is a book that first published in 2004. 20 years ago. I just looked at Amazon and it's ranked at #885 in all books right now. All. Why is the book so popular? Because it resonates so much with so many people. This week we've talked about peacemaking and respect and I thought it relevant to bring this episode back where I talked with the one and only, Dr Emmerson Eggrichs, author of Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs. Please don't get hung up on the gender aspects. We all desire levels of love and respect. The point Emmerson makes in the book is how they are different and you'll find some people who feel and speak more towards love or respect and recognizing this will help you understand and connect with people better, especially those closest to you. In this episode I was joined by Tom Ziglar, CEO of Ziglar and son of Zig Ziglar, as we questioned and learned from the master…Dr Emmerson Eggerichs. Sign up for a $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to sign up for your FREE 60-day trial Get 20% off your first probiotic membership order at pendulumlife.com/drivesyou Kajabi is offering a free 30-day trial to start your business if you go to Kajabi.com/kevin Go to cozyearth.com/driven and use code DRIVEN for an exclusive 40% discount Join thousands of parents who trust Fabric to protect their family. Apply in minutes at meetfabric.com/WHATDRIVESYOU. If you're concerned about OCD, visit NOCD.com to schedule a free 15-minute call with their team. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
On today's podcast, Ashley unpacks Emmerson Eggerich's book "Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires and the Respect He Desperately Needs." She deconstructs the theology around Eggerichs' work and offers up a different definition of love inspired by Cater Heyward's book "Touching Our Strength: The Erotic as Power and the Love of God." In Heyward's book, she defines love as being rooted in mutual respect and discovery. Ashley offers Heyward's definition of love as a healthy alternative to Eggerich's patriarchal theology. To learn more about Ashley's ministry, visit ashleylhengst.com or connect with her on Istagram @ashleylhengst.
Please join Kate and Sheila as they recap rule #2-All people deserve respect— in Jacob Hudgins book, House Rules. Respect may be a bit challenging to define but it is easy to see the lack of it. Where is respect taught first?... You guessed it–The home! We are made in God's Image and God values all people, yes ALL people, the good, the bad, and the disparaging. It is not about us or them, it is about our Heavenly Father, 1 Peter 2:17 says to ‘honor everyone', quite a challenge when leaders are unjust. David was a good example of respecting an unjust ruler. David could have killed King Saul but would not because he was the Lord's anointed, he trusted God's timing and was known as a man after God's own heart. This is a tough rule indeed. It is easy to see when this rule is not kept. In times past, manners, kindness, and courtesy were modeled in the home. Where/when did we lose ground in this arena? Instead of looking back and pointing fingers let's look forward and endeavor to make a change. Do you want to set your children up for a more joyful life? Give them the gift of respect.Thanks so much for listening as we strive to live lives pleasing to our heavenly Father! This week we have a diamante poem to highlight the contrast between the dark side and the light. Disrespect negative scornful Belittling, ignoring, interrupting Arrogance, inconsiderateness, appreciation, kindness Empathizing, listening, teaching Positive, valuable Respect Additional books mentioned in this podcast: Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs — by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer The Devil and the White City by Erik Larson --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/recapbookchat/message
Tom and Tabi unpack one of the classic books on marriage written by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs titled, Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs. Based on over three decades of counseling, plus scientific and biblical research, Love and Respect is for anyone: those in crisis, the happily married, engaged couples, pastors and counselors, and small groups. This dynamic and life-changing message is impacting the world, resulting in the healing and restoration of countless relationships.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is a pastor, author, speaker, and founder of the Love and Respect Conference. His book, “Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs,” and his conference have helped thousands of couples learn how to resolve conflict and meet each other's needs. The book's inspiration comes from Ephesians 5:33, which commands husbands to love their wives and wives to respect their husbands. Approximately 3 out of 10 marriages end in divorce because love alone is not enough. Dr. Eggerichs and Les discuss the crazy cycle and the energizing cycle that marriages go through and how couples can work to bring peace, unity, love, and respect back into their marriage. Les shares things he wishes he could change if he could go back to the early years of his marriage, and Dr. Eggerichs reminds him that his current marriage is a testimony to the work God can and will do in any marriage. Learn more about Dr. Eggerich's work: https://www.loveandrespect.com/about-us
The Lads begin their education on the subject of LOVE & RESPECT: THE LOVE SHE MOST DESIRES; THE RESPECT HE DESPERATELY NEEDS in the hopes of improving the podcast. Support us on Patreon! Please subscribe to our Youtube channel! ILYM Plugs Mike Lester's Upcoming Shows: https://linktr.ee/Justmikelester Micah's Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/bellytelevision Discord: https://discord.gg/VeVs3g2 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/iloveyoumana/ IG: https://www.instagram.com/Iloveyoumana/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/ILoveYouMana ILYM Theme: dmoon ILYM Outro: Neel Ghosh Editing: Micah/Belly
This summer, we're talking about seven principles of healthy relationships, according to relationship experts John and Julie Gottman. In the last two weeks, we've discussed the foundation of healthy relationships: curiosity. And in the next two episodes, we're talking about the practices of admiration and appreciation. Be curious. Be positive. Sounds simple enough. Except EMPish (Evangelical, Mormon, and Pentecostal) communities identify the success of the relationship not based on the ways that people solve problems together. Successful marriages happen when men and women effectively play the gender roles ascribed to them. And no Christian resource describes this better than Emerson Eggerichs' Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires, The Respect He Desperately Needs. In this episode, we compare the Eggerichs' and Gottman's processes for exploring admiration and appreciation: Parental Models (7:00): “We talked in church spaces and school spaces about being kind and grateful and positive, but I didn't see a lot of it modeled.” Young children model after their parents, and when the models do not admire each other, we tend to mirror that in our own relationships. This episode is about initially breaking that pattern. Jesus' Admiration (10:00): “I do have a deep hole within myself that the church told me only Jesus can fill, but perhaps the church created that hole with constant legalistic scrutiny for over two decades of my life, and now I am just constantly in need of someone telling me that I'm worthwhile and valuable. That is for my own therapy.” Julia shares how the Church created this idea that the only person that can fill your heart is Jesus. This does not actually teach anyone how to do relationships, and, when coupled with the anxiety that you constantly have to ask Jesus and an erratic God into your heart, this creates a compulsive need for validation from others rooted in a fear of never being good enough. Defaulting onto Gender Norms (11:00): Jeremiah shares, “If someone doesn't overtly teach you how to do something in a relationship, the easiest thing to do is to fall back on gender expectations. For me as a man, the most important gendered message was that men are leaders. Assume that you're gonna be in charge and that people want you to be in charge.” When admiration for our partners is not taught or modeled, people can default onto gender norms as a way to show their appreciation. Appreciation then becomes about performing the gender role as opposed to celebrating the holistic person and uniqueness of the relationship. What Does Respect Actually Mean? (27:00): Julia reflects, “I remember reading that sex was one of, if not the primary way, that men feel respected. The book also reinforced that I should be well groomed, made up, and lingerie wearing for when my husband comes home from work. Because of course I'm not working and he just needs sex for his own gratification.” Jeremiah responds, “Respect communicates a power hierarchy, and adhering to the power hierarchy means men are at the top.” The idea that women are “depriving” men of sex is a toxic idea that feeds into non-consent and un-enjoyable sex and relationships. When sex is viewed as a thing to be given and taken, it stops existing as a thing occurring between consenting people, but instead as a process of conquering. We conclude the episode with Relationship 101, where Jeremiah states, “For you and I, practicing the Gottman value of nurturing fondness and admiration requires us to develop new interaction patterns that move away from gendered scripts of love and respect, and into collaborative and non-gendered dynamics based on admiration and fondness.” The Gottman's labeled these six practices, the 6 magic hours, and Julia and Jeremiah offer advice on how to incorporate these into everyday life: 1. Partings. The Gottman suggests learning one thing that is happening in your partner's life before they leave for the workday or whatever else they may be doing. 2. Reunions. The Gottman suggests at least 20 minutes at the end of the day for a connection point that is purely for the sake of reestablishing intimacy and closeness. Julia offers, “For those of you who may be less inclined to physical touch, or need some other forms of connection before moving into a physical space. A reunion could include going out for ice cream, a short walk, or even just a curious conversation in which you take an active interest in your partner's day. Questions beyond “How was your day?” 3. Admiration and appreciation. Be explicit about what you love and value about your partner. Jeremiah shares how because of the context in which he grew up he sets reminders on his phone to text Julia appreciation and admiration, which can be helpful for those who also grew up in similar contexts. 4. Physical Touch. The Gottman suggests physical affection every day, especially before going to bed to be clear. This is not necessarily sexual affection. There will be episodes in the future tackling the topic for people who may not be comfortable with physical touch. 5. Date Night. The Gottman's encourage a two hour date night, once a week, the setting. “So do you go to a restaurant? Do you go out for a movie? The setting is less important than the process for communication and exploring deeper things about the other person.” Julia says, and then adds that though this may not be attainable weekly for many people, even monthly or bi-monthly is great, and everyone is just doing the best they can. 6. State of the Union meeting. Jeremiah explains, “Gottman encourages a one hour business meeting each week to discuss practical and logistical aspects of your relationship, such as finances. Trips, meal planning, childcare, chores, et cetera.” The state of the union keeps the administrative part of the relationship out of the romantic part of the relationship. Healthy relationships include all six of these items; this week, focus on developing two of these in your relationship with your partner. And then, for the next month, build one item a week into your relationship building. Let's heal together!
I am such a speck inspector! And unfortunately, (especially for Tim) my marriage is often not exempt from my expertise. You know what I'm talking about, right? The passage in Luke about the beam and the speck? I seem to have an uncanny ability to see around or even straight through the beam in my eye to help Tim identify the speck in his. Praise God, I'm not a bad as I used to be, but no doubt, I still have plenty of work to do! Find all Scripture references from this episode at http://jennyzentz.com/podcast-seeing-clearly-in-your-marriage *Resources mentioned in this episode: - Called to Love: Experiencing Your Best Marriage Through the Words of Jesus, by Alisa DiLorenzo - The One Extraordinary Marriage Podcast - Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs, by Emerson Eggerichs And please don't forget to subscribe and share. Together we can help more women discover practical ways to apply the power of God's Word to our everyday stuff! *Please note any resource links are affiliate links. I will receive a small percentage from purchases made through them to help compensate for the time, effort and cost of content creation. Happy Shopping!
Beginning a series on marriage and family life, Fred is joined by friend and co-host of the Forte Catholic Podcast, Taylor Schroll for a fun and lighthearted discussion on marriage. What have they learned? What advice would they give themselves on their wedding day? How much more do they still need to grow? Why does Fred insist on mentioning Cobra Kai in every episode of Draw Near? Find out in this episode! What are some resources we recommend? Learn more about Taylor Schroll and Forte Catholic here! (https://www.fortecatholic.com/) Just Married: The Catholic Guide to Surviving the First Five Years of Marriage by Greg and Lisa Popcak (https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1594712808/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1594712808&linkCode=as2&tag=couplecatholics-20&linkId=U2WZ4AYFGBHRUPSX) Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, The Respect He Desperately Needs by Dr Emerson Eggerichs (https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1594153205/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1594153205&linkCode=as2&tag=couplecatholics-20&linkId=TTOXAJTUWCZO4EII) The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman (https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/080241270X/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=080241270X&linkCode=as2&tag=couplecatholics-20&linkId=H27WTLI3V5DDOQPZ) Three to Get Married by Fulton Sheen (https://www.amazon.com/Three-Get-Married-Fulton-Sheen/dp/0933932871/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1ARB68BX4M2UI&keywords=three+to+get+married+fulton+sheen&qid=1663137970&sprefix=three+to+get+ma%2Caps%2C120&sr=8-1) The 21 Undeniable Secrets of Marriage: Taking Your Relationship to the Next Level by Dr Allen Hunt (https://www.amazon.com/21-Undeniable-Secrets-Marriage/dp/1942611137/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2DSYSJP8ZIKHV&keywords=21+secrets+allen+hunt&qid=1663138028&sprefix=21+secrets+allen+hunt%2Caps%2C142&sr=8-1) For Your Marriage (https://www.foryourmarriage.org/) Click to Donate (https://www.patreon.com/drawnear) to become a supporter/patron! Join the community by following the Draw Near Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/fredandkara). Book Fred and/or Kara to speak by visiting the Draw Near "booking page (https://www.drawnear.me/booking)." Like our podcast? Hit that “subscribe” button AND the notification button/bell to know when new episodes are posted! Give us a rating! Leave a review! Tell your friends! Even more, pray for us! Draw Near Theme © Fred Shellabarger & Kara Kardell
Beginning a series on marriage and family life, Fred is joined by Draw Near listener and fellow Cobra Kai super fan, Phillip Grothus for a discussion on marriage. What have they learned? What advice would they give themselves on their wedding day? How much more do they still need to grow? Find out in this episode! What are some resources we recommend? Just Married: The Catholic Guide to Surviving the First Five Years of Marriage by Greg and Lisa Popcak (https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1594712808/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1594712808&linkCode=as2&tag=couplecatholics-20&linkId=U2WZ4AYFGBHRUPSX) Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, The Respect He Desperately Needs by Dr Emerson Eggerichs (https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1594153205/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1594153205&linkCode=as2&tag=couplecatholics-20&linkId=TTOXAJTUWCZO4EII) The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman (https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/080241270X/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=080241270X&linkCode=as2&tag=couplecatholics-20&linkId=H27WTLI3V5DDOQPZ) Three to Get Married by Fulton Sheen (https://www.amazon.com/Three-Get-Married-Fulton-Sheen/dp/0933932871/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1ARB68BX4M2UI&keywords=three+to+get+married+fulton+sheen&qid=1663137970&sprefix=three+to+get+ma%2Caps%2C120&sr=8-1) The 21 Undeniable Secrets of Marriage: Taking Your Relationship to the Next Level by Dr Allen Hunt (https://www.amazon.com/21-Undeniable-Secrets-Marriage/dp/1942611137/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2DSYSJP8ZIKHV&keywords=21+secrets+allen+hunt&qid=1663138028&sprefix=21+secrets+allen+hunt%2Caps%2C142&sr=8-1) For Your Marriage (https://www.foryourmarriage.org/) St Francis of Assisi Parish in West Des Moines (http://saintfrancischurch.org/) Click to Donate (https://www.patreon.com/drawnear) to become a supporter/patron! Join the community by following the Draw Near Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/fredandkara). Book Fred and/or Kara to speak by visiting the Draw Near "booking page (https://www.drawnear.me/booking)." Like our podcast? Hit that “subscribe” button AND the notification button/bell to know when new episodes are posted! Give us a rating! Leave a review! Tell your friends! Even more, pray for us! Draw Near Theme © Fred Shellabarger & Kara Kardell
In today's episode, John talks with Aaron Walker, a.k.a Big A — a speaker, podcaster, an author, life & business coach, president & founder of View from the Top & ISI Mastermind, creator of The Mastermind Playbook, husband, dad, and grandpa. Aaron started his first business at 18 and sold it to a Fortune 500 company nine years later. Over the past four decades, he has bought and sold twelve successful companies. As president and founder of View From The Top, Aaron spends most of his time empowering people to achieve success and significance in their lives. Listen to this episode to learn more: [02:00] - Aaron's backstory and how he established his business [08:34] - Aaron talks about an accident he had and how he got through it [12:40] - Aaron's idea of significance and helping others become who they want to be [16:07] - John discusses his divorce and offers advice to men [21:02] - About Aaron's book, View From the Top, and why he wrote it [25:48] - How the listeners can get a free copy of Aaron's book [26:36] - About his podcast and how listeners can participate in a zoom call with Aaron [28:31] - What prompted Aaron to start Iron Sharpens Iron [32:06] - The role his faith plays in his personal life and his business [34:07] - Tips by Aaron on building long-lasting relationships [42:13] - One habit that Aaron believes every entrepreneur needs NOTABLE QUOTES: "Have an abundance mindset, not a scarcity mindset. Think about your colleagues and peers, and other family members, and try to live a life of giving back. It just always comes back to you." "Money and things are not going to scratch the itch like you think they're going to anywhere." "We've been fed a lie, as boys growing up into men, that somehow this idea of emotions and feelings is a female-only domain. If you don't know how to do it, it's a new skill set; you can learn how to do it." "It doesn't cost any money to do little things that matter. Words of encouragement, edifying, doing random acts of kindness, these things are invaluable in building relationships." "Opportunity happens when you're prepared." "Failing means we're learning opportunities that are being created as a result of it not working the way you thought originally." BOOKS MENTIONED: Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs (https://tinyurl.com/LoveAndRespectBookEE) Be Exceptional: Master the Five Traits That Set Extraordinary People Apart by Joe Navarro (https://tinyurl.com/BeExceptionalBook) 10 Rules for Resilience: Mental Toughness for Families by Joe De Sena (https://tinyurl.com/10RulesForResilienceBook) USEFUL LINKS: https://www.viewfromthetop.com/ https://tinyurl.com/ViewFromTheTopBookAW https://www.linkedin.com/in/aaronwalkerviewfromthetop https://www.facebook.com/AaronWalkerViewFromTheTop https://www.facebook.com/CoachAaronWalker https://tuesdaynoon.live/ https://twitter.com/VFTCoach https://www.instagram.com/isimastermind CONNECT WITH JOHN Website - https://thejohnhulen.com Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/johnhulen Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/johnhulen Twitter - https://www.twitter.com/johnhulen LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/johnhulen YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLX_NchE8lisC4NL2GciIWA EPISODE CREDITS Intro music provided by Tony Palacios - https://www.instagram.com/tonytonedog/ Outro music provided by Jeff Scheetz - https://jeffscheetz.com/
Everyone gets to be on the show this week! VT, today a very special duo joins us to tell you about a book they've found valuable called,"Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; the Respect He Desperately Needs" by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs My parents' relationship isn't perfect, but they've been together for over 25 years, and they are stronger than they've ever been. I hope you gained value or even just hope for a lasting relationship. I know I did! You are loved!-M & M+BSupport the show (https://pod.fan/maximum-vibes-podcast)
Yvette Hampton and Rachel Zwayne discuss the four areas of wisdom that contribute to a God-Honoring marriage. A WISE WIFE FEARS THE LORD A WISE WIFE CHOOSES HUMILITY A WISE WIFE CONTROLS HER WORDS A WISE WIFE SEEKS ACCOUNTABILITY WATCH THE MOVIE! Schoolhouse Rocked: The Homeschool Revolution is here. Stream the film today or bring Schoolhouse Rocked to your church or homeschool co-op. Movie Clip - Heidi St. John on the Myth of the "Perfect" Homeschool “Schoolhouse Rocked” will rock your educational world to the foundations and give you and your kids great hope for the future! The old-school paradigm has proven broken and a new way of learning is here. Don't miss this important film!” - Kirk Cameron "This is one of the most empowering tools I've seen for parents! I was honored to be interviewed in the film and am excited to see it come to fruition. It is amazing!" – Israel Wayne, Family Renewal Watch this full conversation on our YouTube channel. Support Schoolhouse Rocked Episode Notes and Scripture References: #1. A WISE WIFE FEARS THE LORD Proverbs 8:13 NKJV - “The fear of the Lord is to hate evil.” Proverbs 14:26 - “In the fear of the Lord there is strong confidence, and His children will have a place of refuge.” Proverbs 31:30 - “Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.” #2. A WISE WIFE CHOOSES HUMILITY Proverbs 28:25 NKJV - “He who is of a proud heart stirs up strife, but he who trusts in the Lord will be prospered. Proverbs 28:26 - “He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, but whoever walks wisely will be delivered.” Proverbs 26:11-12 - “As a dog returns to his own vomit, so a fool repeats his folly. Do you see a man wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him.” Proverbs 28:13 - “He who covers his sins will not prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy.” #3. A WISE WIFE CONTROLS HER WORDS: Proverbs 17:27 NKJV - “He who has knowledge spares his words, and a man of understanding is of a calm spirit.” Proverbs 29:11 - “A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back.” Uplifting words We see in Proverbs 12:25 NKJV - “Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, but a good word makes it glad.” Proverbs 16:24 - “Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the bones.” Gentle words Proverbs 15:1 NKJV - “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” {Kind words} Proverbs 31:26 NKJV - “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness.” Thought-out and studied words Proverbs 15:28 NKJV - “The heart of the righteous studies how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours forth evil.” Listening well Proverbs 18:13 NKJV - “He who answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame to him.” #4. A WISE WIFE SEEKS ACCOUNTABILITY Proverbs 13:20 NKJV - “He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed.” Proverbs 18:1 - “A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire; he rages against all wise judgment.” Proverbs 15:31 - “The ear that hears the rebukes of life will abide among the wise. He who disdains instruction despises his own soul, but he who heeds rebuke gets understanding.” Proverbs 12 - “Whoever loves instruction loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid.” Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Final Encouragement: DON'T GIVE UP! ~ The grass is always greener when you water it. HANG OUT WITH PEOPLE WHO ENCOURAGE YOU IN YOUR MARRIAGE...not bring you down. Don't gossip about your husband. SHOW HIM APPRECIATION AND RESPECT - MAKE HIM A PRIORITY Titus 2:3-5 ESV "Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled." The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Recommended Resources: What Did You Expect: Redeeming the Realities of Marriage, by Paul David Tripp I Still Do: Growing Closer and Stronger through Life's Defining Moments, by Dave Harvey The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, by Dr. Laura Schlessinger For Women Only: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men, by Shaunti Feldhahn Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, the Respect He Desperately Needs, by Dr. Emmerson Eggerichs The Power of a Praying Wife, by Stormie Omartian The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, by Gary Chapman Connect with Rachel Zwayne: Joyful Mothers on Facebook Joyful_Mothers on Instagram Has Schoolhouse Rocked been a blessing to you? Please consider making a tax-deductible donation to support the ongoing ministry of Schoolhouse Rocked. Support from the homeschool community allows us provide resources and encouragement to homeschooling families around the world. Your support is making an ETERNAL impact! "If you are new to homeschooling check out this podcast!! I've been feeling like I should homeschool for a couple years but was worried I couldn't do it. Once the pandemic brought my kids home and I started seeing their emotional health and attitudes improve I decided to finally make the leap. This podcast has really encouraged me to make this a permanent change. Thank you for all your efforts in making this resource available!” - Autumn “I was tearing up at the end of this film being reminded that my children are GIFTS from the Lord. I never want to abdicate my role and responsibility as their Mama. I cannot wait to share this film with everyone once it is released!!” - Amber “We loved the movie and watched it with our children. It left us encouraged in our choice to homeschool, as well as gave us confidence that we are not "messing" up our children's education or socialization!!” - Danielle Whether or not you can donate, we ask that EVERY listener support the show by sharing it with your friends and family, by leaving a review on iTunes, and by praying for our team. If you are considering homeschooling or just need some great homeschooling encouragement, get your FREE Homeschool Survival Kit from the producers of Schoolhouse Rocked: The Homeschool Revolution and the Schoolhouse Rocked Podcast. This 60+ page guide includes helpful articles, videos, and audio, for every stage of homeschooling, from pre-school to graduation. It will give you the encouragement you need to start strong and finish well! The Homeschool Survival Kit also includes an extensive directory of must-have homeschooling resources. Please take a minute to visit our sponsors and thank them for helping to bring you The Schoolhouse Rocked Podcast. We ONLY work with companies we know and love! We happily recommend these companies and their products. Are you looking for a new Math Curriculum? CTCMath specializes in providing online video tutorials that take a multi-sensory approach to learning. Creative graphics and animation, synchronized with the friendly voice of internationally acclaimed teacher, Pat Murray, make learning math easy and effective. Visit CTCmath.com today to start your free trial today. BJU Press Homeschool provides complete curriculum for preschool through 12th grade with both traditional textbooks and video courses available. Education from a Christian worldview reshapes how children see the world. BJU Press materials teach Christ's power and lordship through the Big Story of creation. Patriot Academy - Inspiring Patriotism, Equipping Citizens, Educating A Nation. Patriot Academy has a Single, Bold Vision: To equip a new generation of leaders to champion the cause of freedom and truth in government, media, entertainment, education, as we help bring our nation back to the principles on which we were founded. The Institute for Excellence in Writing (IEW) equips teachers and teaching parents with methods and materials which will aid them in training their students to become confident and competent communicators and thinkers. Using the Structure and Style™ writing method, IEW will give you the ability to fill young minds with language-building skills, laying the groundwork for a lifetime of excellent writing. Podcast Topics: Rachel Zwayne, Marriage, Living Waters, Wisdom, Proverbs 31, Ray Comfort, EZ Zwayne, Valentine's Day, Romance, Love, Yvette Hampton, Interview, Schoolhouse Rocked: The Homeschool Revolution, Homeschool Movie, Homeschool Documentary, Homeschool Podcast, Christian, Parenting Podcast
Yvette Hampton and Rachel Zwayne discuss the four areas of wisdom that contribute to a God-Honoring marriage. A WISE WIFE FEARS THE LORD A WISE WIFE CHOOSES HUMILITY A WISE WIFE CONTROLS HER WORDS A WISE WIFE SEEKS ACCOUNTABILITY Come back tomorrow for the rest of this conversation! WATCH THE MOVIE! Schoolhouse Rocked: The Homeschool Revolution is here. Stream the film today or bring Schoolhouse Rocked to your church or homeschool co-op. Movie Clip - Heidi St. John on the Myth of the "Perfect" Homeschool “Schoolhouse Rocked” will rock your educational world to the foundations and give you and your kids great hope for the future! The old-school paradigm has proven broken and a new way of learning is here. Don't miss this important film!” - Kirk Cameron "This is one of the most empowering tools I've seen for parents! I was honored to be interviewed in the film and am excited to see it come to fruition. It is amazing!" – Israel Wayne, Family Renewal Watch this full conversation on our YouTube channel. Support Schoolhouse Rocked Episode Notes and Scripture References: #1. A WISE WIFE FEARS THE LORD Proverbs 8:13 NKJV - “The fear of the Lord is to hate evil.” Proverbs 14:26 - “In the fear of the Lord there is strong confidence, and His children will have a place of refuge.” Proverbs 31:30 - “Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.” #2. A WISE WIFE CHOOSES HUMILITY Proverbs 28:25 NKJV - “He who is of a proud heart stirs up strife, but he who trusts in the Lord will be prospered. Proverbs 28:26 - “He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, but whoever walks wisely will be delivered.” Proverbs 26:11-12 - “As a dog returns to his own vomit, so a fool repeats his folly. Do you see a man wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him.” Proverbs 28:13 - “He who covers his sins will not prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy.” #3. A WISE WIFE CONTROLS HER WORDS: Proverbs 17:27 NKJV - “He who has knowledge spares his words, and a man of understanding is of a calm spirit.” Proverbs 29:11 - “A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back.” Uplifting words We see in Proverbs 12:25 NKJV - “Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, but a good word makes it glad.” Proverbs 16:24 - “Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the bones.” Gentle words Proverbs 15:1 NKJV - “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” {Kind words} Proverbs 31:26 NKJV - “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness.” Thought-out and studied words Proverbs 15:28 NKJV - “The heart of the righteous studies how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours forth evil.” Listening well Proverbs 18:13 NKJV - “He who answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame to him.” #4. A WISE WIFE SEEKS ACCOUNTABILITY Proverbs 13:20 NKJV - “He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed.” Proverbs 18:1 - “A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire; he rages against all wise judgment.” Proverbs 15:31 - “The ear that hears the rebukes of life will abide among the wise. He who disdains instruction despises his own soul, but he who heeds rebuke gets understanding.” Proverbs 12 - “Whoever loves instruction loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid.” Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Final Encouragement: DON'T GIVE UP! ~ The grass is always greener when you water it. HANG OUT WITH PEOPLE WHO ENCOURAGE YOU IN YOUR MARRIAGE...not bring you down. Don't gossip about your husband. SHOW HIM APPRECIATION AND RESPECT - MAKE HIM A PRIORITY Titus 2:3-5 ESV "Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled." The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Recommended Resources: What Did You Expect: Redeeming the Realities of Marriage, by Paul David Tripp I Still Do: Growing Closer and Stronger through Life's Defining Moments, by Dave Harvey The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, by Dr. Laura Schlessinger For Women Only: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men, by Shaunti Feldhahn Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, the Respect He Desperately Needs, by Dr. Emmerson Eggerichs The Power of a Praying Wife, by Stormie Omartian The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, by Gary Chapman Connect with Rachel Zwayne: Joyful Mothers on Facebook Joyful_Mothers on Instagram Has Schoolhouse Rocked been a blessing to you? Please consider making a tax-deductible donation to support the ongoing ministry of Schoolhouse Rocked. Support from the homeschool community allows us provide resources and encouragement to homeschooling families around the world. Your support is making an ETERNAL impact! "If you are new to homeschooling check out this podcast!! I've been feeling like I should homeschool for a couple years but was worried I couldn't do it. Once the pandemic brought my kids home and I started seeing their emotional health and attitudes improve I decided to finally make the leap. This podcast has really encouraged me to make this a permanent change. Thank you for all your efforts in making this resource available!” - Autumn “I was tearing up at the end of this film being reminded that my children are GIFTS from the Lord. I never want to abdicate my role and responsibility as their Mama. I cannot wait to share this film with everyone once it is released!!” - Amber “We loved the movie and watched it with our children. It left us encouraged in our choice to homeschool, as well as gave us confidence that we are not "messing" up our children's education or socialization!!” - Danielle Whether or not you can donate, we ask that EVERY listener support the show by sharing it with your friends and family, by leaving a review on iTunes, and by praying for our team. If you are considering homeschooling or just need some great homeschooling encouragement, get your FREE Homeschool Survival Kit from the producers of Schoolhouse Rocked: The Homeschool Revolution and the Schoolhouse Rocked Podcast. This 60+ page guide includes helpful articles, videos, and audio, for every stage of homeschooling, from pre-school to graduation. It will give you the encouragement you need to start strong and finish well! The Homeschool Survival Kit also includes an extensive directory of must-have homeschooling resources. Please take a minute to visit our sponsors and thank them for helping to bring you The Schoolhouse Rocked Podcast. We ONLY work with companies we know and love! We happily recommend these companies and their products. Are you looking for a new Math Curriculum? CTCMath specializes in providing online video tutorials that take a multi-sensory approach to learning. Creative graphics and animation, synchronized with the friendly voice of internationally acclaimed teacher, Pat Murray, make learning math easy and effective. Visit CTCmath.com today to start your free trial today. BJU Press Homeschool provides complete curriculum for preschool through 12th grade with both traditional textbooks and video courses available. Education from a Christian worldview reshapes how children see the world. BJU Press materials teach Christ's power and lordship through the Big Story of creation. Patriot Academy - Inspiring Patriotism, Equipping Citizens, Educating A Nation. Patriot Academy has a Single, Bold Vision: To equip a new generation of leaders to champion the cause of freedom and truth in government, media, entertainment, education, as we help bring our nation back to the principles on which we were founded. The Institute for Excellence in Writing (IEW) equips teachers and teaching parents with methods and materials which will aid them in training their students to become confident and competent communicators and thinkers. Using the Structure and Style™ writing method, IEW will give you the ability to fill young minds with language-building skills, laying the groundwork for a lifetime of excellent writing. Podcast Topics: Rachel Zwayne, Marriage, Living Waters, Wisdom, Proverbs 31, Ray Comfort, EZ Zwayne, Valentine's Day, Romance, Love, Yvette Hampton, Interview, Schoolhouse Rocked: The Homeschool Revolution, Homeschool Movie, Homeschool Documentary, Homeschool Podcast, Christian, Parenting Podcast
Yvette Hampton and Rachel Zwayne discuss the four areas of wisdom that contribute to a God-Honoring marriage. A WISE WIFE FEARS THE LORD A WISE WIFE CHOOSES HUMILITY A WISE WIFE CONTROLS HER WORDS A WISE WIFE SEEKS ACCOUNTABILITY Come back Wednesday and Thursday for the rest of this conversation! WATCH THE MOVIE! Schoolhouse Rocked: The Homeschool Revolution is here. Stream the film today or bring Schoolhouse Rocked to your church or homeschool co-op. Movie Clip - Heidi St. John on the Myth of the "Perfect" Homeschool “Schoolhouse Rocked” will rock your educational world to the foundations and give you and your kids great hope for the future! The old-school paradigm has proven broken and a new way of learning is here. Don't miss this important film!” - Kirk Cameron "This is one of the most empowering tools I've seen for parents! I was honored to be interviewed in the film and am excited to see it come to fruition. It is amazing!" – Israel Wayne, Family Renewal Watch this full conversation on our YouTube channel. Support Schoolhouse Rocked Episode Notes and Scripture References: #1. A WISE WIFE FEARS THE LORD Proverbs 8:13 NKJV - “The fear of the Lord is to hate evil.” Proverbs 14:26 - “In the fear of the Lord there is strong confidence, and His children will have a place of refuge.” Proverbs 31:30 - “Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.” #2. A WISE WIFE CHOOSES HUMILITY Proverbs 28:25 NKJV - “He who is of a proud heart stirs up strife, but he who trusts in the Lord will be prospered. Proverbs 28:26 - “He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, but whoever walks wisely will be delivered.” Proverbs 26:11-12 - “As a dog returns to his own vomit, so a fool repeats his folly. Do you see a man wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him.” Proverbs 28:13 - “He who covers his sins will not prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy.” #3. A WISE WIFE CONTROLS HER WORDS: Proverbs 17:27 NKJV - “He who has knowledge spares his words, and a man of understanding is of a calm spirit.” Proverbs 29:11 - “A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back.” Uplifting words We see in Proverbs 12:25 NKJV - “Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, but a good word makes it glad.” Proverbs 16:24 - “Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the bones.” Gentle words Proverbs 15:1 NKJV - “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” {Kind words} Proverbs 31:26 NKJV - “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness.” Thought-out and studied words Proverbs 15:28 NKJV - “The heart of the righteous studies how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours forth evil.” Listening well Proverbs 18:13 NKJV - “He who answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame to him.” #4. A WISE WIFE SEEKS ACCOUNTABILITY Proverbs 13:20 NKJV - “He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed.” Proverbs 18:1 - “A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire; he rages against all wise judgment.” Proverbs 15:31 - “The ear that hears the rebukes of life will abide among the wise. He who disdains instruction despises his own soul, but he who heeds rebuke gets understanding.” Proverbs 12 - “Whoever loves instruction loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid.” Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Final Encouragement: DON'T GIVE UP! ~ The grass is always greener when you water it. HANG OUT WITH PEOPLE WHO ENCOURAGE YOU IN YOUR MARRIAGE...not bring you down. Don't gossip about your husband. SHOW HIM APPRECIATION AND RESPECT - MAKE HIM A PRIORITY Titus 2:3-5 ESV "Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled." The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Recommended Resources: What Did You Expect: Redeeming the Realities of Marriage, by Paul David Tripp I Still Do: Growing Closer and Stronger through Life's Defining Moments, by Dave Harvey The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, by Dr. Laura Schlessinger For Women Only: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men, by Shaunti Feldhahn Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, the Respect He Desperately Needs, by Dr. Emmerson Eggerichs The Power of a Praying Wife, by Stormie Omartian The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, by Gary Chapman Connect with Rachel Zwayne: Joyful Mothers on Facebook Joyful_Mothers on Instagram Has Schoolhouse Rocked been a blessing to you? Please consider making a tax-deductible donation to support the ongoing ministry of Schoolhouse Rocked. Support from the homeschool community allows us provide resources and encouragement to homeschooling families around the world. Your support is making an ETERNAL impact! "If you are new to homeschooling check out this podcast!! I've been feeling like I should homeschool for a couple years but was worried I couldn't do it. Once the pandemic brought my kids home and I started seeing their emotional health and attitudes improve I decided to finally make the leap. This podcast has really encouraged me to make this a permanent change. Thank you for all your efforts in making this resource available!” - Autumn “I was tearing up at the end of this film being reminded that my children are GIFTS from the Lord. I never want to abdicate my role and responsibility as their Mama. I cannot wait to share this film with everyone once it is released!!” - Amber “We loved the movie and watched it with our children. It left us encouraged in our choice to homeschool, as well as gave us confidence that we are not "messing" up our children's education or socialization!!” - Danielle Whether or not you can donate, we ask that EVERY listener support the show by sharing it with your friends and family, by leaving a review on iTunes, and by praying for our team. If you are considering homeschooling or just need some great homeschooling encouragement, get your FREE Homeschool Survival Kit from the producers of Schoolhouse Rocked: The Homeschool Revolution and the Schoolhouse Rocked Podcast. This 60+ page guide includes helpful articles, videos, and audio, for every stage of homeschooling, from pre-school to graduation. It will give you the encouragement you need to start strong and finish well! The Homeschool Survival Kit also includes an extensive directory of must-have homeschooling resources. Please take a minute to visit our sponsors and thank them for helping to bring you The Schoolhouse Rocked Podcast. We ONLY work with companies we know and love! We happily recommend these companies and their products. Are you looking for a new Math Curriculum? CTCMath specializes in providing online video tutorials that take a multi-sensory approach to learning. Creative graphics and animation, synchronized with the friendly voice of internationally acclaimed teacher, Pat Murray, make learning math easy and effective. Visit CTCmath.com today to start your free trial today. BJU Press Homeschool provides complete curriculum for preschool through 12th grade with both traditional textbooks and video courses available. Education from a Christian worldview reshapes how children see the world. BJU Press materials teach Christ's power and lordship through the Big Story of creation. Patriot Academy - Inspiring Patriotism, Equipping Citizens, Educating A Nation. Patriot Academy has a Single, Bold Vision: To equip a new generation of leaders to champion the cause of freedom and truth in government, media, entertainment, education, as we help bring our nation back to the principles on which we were founded. The Institute for Excellence in Writing (IEW) equips teachers and teaching parents with methods and materials which will aid them in training their students to become confident and competent communicators and thinkers. Using the Structure and Style™ writing method, IEW will give you the ability to fill young minds with language-building skills, laying the groundwork for a lifetime of excellent writing. Podcast Topics: Rachel Zwayne, Marriage, Living Waters, Wisdom, Proverbs 31, Ray Comfort, EZ Zwayne, Valentine's Day, Romance, Love, Yvette Hampton, Interview, Schoolhouse Rocked: The Homeschool Revolution, Homeschool Movie, Homeschool Documentary, Homeschool Podcast, Christian, Parenting Podcast
When I feel respect, I feel valued, and I know I am loved. Respect is about love. It is love in action. Women need respect as much as men. In 2004 a book by Christian writer Dr. Emerson Eggerich was released. It was Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs. The book became very popular in fundamentalist and evangelical church circles. Eggerich and his wife Sarah became big on the Christian speaking circuit in America, and any copies of the book were sold. The book is built upon the theory that the “primary emotional needs” for men and women are that men need respect and women need love. Just like they need air to breathe, apparently. Get this right, and a healthy marriage is sure to ensue, the author promises. When this book first came out, it featured at the Christian bookshop we frequently attended, and we bought it. It seemed true enough. Several years later, another couple at the church we were attending thought so too. So much so that they purchased a carton of these books and made them available to whoever wanted a copy. Whether the would-be reader could afford it or not, they graciously accepted whatever was paid or let the would-be reader have it for free. At the time, I remember that it was a topic that my husband certainly identified with. He knew respect was a major issue for him, and I thought, what woman doesn't just want to be loved? Roll on 10 or 15 years, and I've learned more. Here I am now, in another town, in a new decade and with quite a different way of looking at life. As a result, I no longer agree with the premise of the book. In fact, I think it can be damaging to relationships and might even lead to abuse. Women need respect as much as men. One thing I've learned is that women need respect as much as men. Indeed, we all need respect, and we're all deserving of respect. And it probably goes without saying that we all need love. It's not a case of one or the other. It has become abundantly clear in our present society that disrespect for women is rampant. It's probably always been there, covered over by societal norms and not spoken about out loud. And maybe it's the same for men, although the way to get it is not by asserting it must be given. Demanding respect is not likely to get you what you are asking. It could even cause the opposite; disrespect. What is disrespect? What is disrespect? Words and phrases like belittled, not valued, dismissed, not considered, not worthy of time, attention, money spent, snubbed, cast aside, overlooked, and offended all relate to disrespect. None of them in themselves truly incorporate that feeling nor do full justice to that awareness of being considered inferior and not worthy of even taking a little effort. Respect is often in the small things; it's in the repeated things. The stepping back to allow someone to go through the door first. Or holding said door open for me. The please and thank-yous that we take for granted. It's even in those things that aren't even noticed or regarded, considered so trivial not to be worthy of attention. The picking your dirty dishes up and putting them in the sink. Not leaving your belongings scattered around the house. Those seemingly little things are often not considered worthy of an attempt at change. Furthermore, disrespect is often noted in people from whom we would expect so much more. Partners, loved ones, children, and extended family; we can all be guilty of it. Those professionals we pay large sums of money to who leave us sitting in their waiting rooms until they are good and ready and to the ones we engage in simple transactions who can't be bothered to give eye contact. The people we sit next to on public transport or drive past in our cars. All are worthy of respect, and all are capable of giving respect. What does disrespect actually feel like? So, what does disrespect actually feel like? I have been asked that question recently. Now I have to dig deep to find the words. We're so used to brushing it aside. A shrug and ‘oh, it doesn't matter.' But, hold on – it does matter, and sometimes it gets through and gets under our skin. Or builds up until we explode. And even then, we quickly clean up and cover up our shame at being disrespected. It's not a nice feeling, what more can I say? It sucks, actually. Lately, as I've been doing my personal work and bravely opening up my heart to scrutiny, I've felt it. In fact, recently, I was shocked by the level of fury and rage in me when confronted with several issues to do with lack of respect. So I have dared myself to feel difficult feelings by taking out the self-judgment and criticism and extending compassion to myself the way I would to a friend. I've learned to ‘sit with unbearable feelings' and listen. And I've been able to process it enough to find other words. And then there is respect. And then there is respect—such a beautiful feeling. One of those commonplace treasures in life that we often fail to see and thereby take for granted. What does ‘being respected' feel like? Again, it's a tricky one to describe, but we know it when we experience it. It's somewhere in the being noticed, in the being acknowledged. It's a feeling of I'm okay, maybe even more than that; they see my uniqueness and my individuality. That person has seen me and has deemed me worthy of a little time, maybe just a second or two. It goes on from there; it's the person who seeks out my opinion, takes time to be with me; to really listen, who doesn't interrupt or talk over me; they do want to know what I think. The person who speaks highly of me. It's the kindness shown. Maybe they know that I'm tired and my back is aching; maybe they just want to be kind to me without reason. It's a good feeling, a good nourishing feeling. ‘I'm okay, they're okay,' and the world isn't just a bad place after all. When I feel respect, I feel valued, and I know I am loved. Respect is about love. It is love in action. And we all need it. Quotes to consider I speak to everyone in the same way, whether he is the garbage man or president of the university. Albert Einstein Respect yourself, and others will respect you. Confucious Be beautiful if you can, wise if you want, but be respected – that is essential. Anna Gould Love without respect is dangerous; it can crush the other person, sometimes literally. To respect is to understand that the other person is not you, not an extension of you, not a reflection of you, not your toy, not your pet, not your product. In a relationship of respect, your task is to understand the other person as a unique individual and learn how to mesh your needs with his or hers and help that person achieve what he or she wants to achieve. Your task is not to control the other person or try to change him or her in a direction that you desire but he or she does not. I think this applies as much to parent-child relationships as to husband-wife relationships. Love is not all you need, nor all your wife or husband needs, and certainly not all your children need. We all need respect, especially from those who are closest and most intimately connected with us. Peter Gray PhD Questions to answer When did you last feel respected/disrespected? What did it feel like? Is it true that respect has to be earned? Why or why not? Do people need to be deserving of respect to gain our respect? Further reading By Susanna Warner Susanna lives on a small farm in Central Victoria, Australia, where she and her husband have 3 alpacas and a small flock of black-faced Suffolk ewes. These days she has a bit more time to reflect on her decades as a Registered Nurse, and Mental Health Nurse and her many encounters with people struggling with inner health and how applying healthy spiritual concepts can help. She enjoys writing and putting her musings into words and hopes these will help hurting hearts. Photo by Axel Vazquez on Unsplash
When I feel respect, I feel valued, and I know I am loved. Respect is about love. It is love in action. Women need respect as much as men. In 2004 a book by Christian writer Dr. Emerson Eggerich was released. It was Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs. The book became very popular in fundamentalist and evangelical church circles. Eggerich and his wife Sarah became big on the Christian speaking circuit in America, and any copies of the book were sold. The book is built upon the theory that the “primary emotional needs” for men and women are that men need respect and women need love. Just like they need air to breathe, apparently. Get this right, and a healthy marriage is sure to ensue, the author promises. When this book first came out, it featured at the Christian bookshop we frequently attended, and we bought it. It seemed true enough. Several years later, another couple at the church we were attending thought so too. So much so that they purchased a carton of these books and made them available to whoever wanted a copy. Whether the would-be reader could afford it or not, they graciously accepted whatever was paid or let the would-be reader have it for free. At the time, I remember that it was a topic that my husband certainly identified with. He knew respect was a major issue for him, and I thought, what woman doesn't just want to be loved? Roll on 10 or 15 years, and I've learned more. Here I am now, in another town, in a new decade and with quite a different way of looking at life. As a result, I no longer agree with the premise of the book. In fact, I think it can be damaging to relationships and might even lead to abuse. Women need respect as much as men. One thing I've learned is that women need respect as much as men. Indeed, we all need respect, and we're all deserving of respect. And it probably goes without saying that we all need love. It's not a case of one or the other. It has become abundantly clear in our present society that disrespect for women is rampant. It's probably always been there, covered over by societal norms and not spoken about out loud. And maybe it's the same for men, although the way to get it is not by asserting it must be given. Demanding respect is not likely to get you what you are asking. It could even cause the opposite; disrespect. What is disrespect? What is disrespect? Words and phrases like belittled, not valued, dismissed, not considered, not worthy of time, attention, money spent, snubbed, cast aside, overlooked, and offended all relate to disrespect. None of them in themselves truly incorporate that feeling nor do full justice to that awareness of being considered inferior and not worthy of even taking a little effort. Respect is often in the small things; it's in the repeated things. The stepping back to allow someone to go through the door first. Or holding said door open for me. The please and thank-yous that we take for granted. It's even in those things that aren't even noticed or regarded, considered so trivial not to be worthy of attention. The picking your dirty dishes up and putting them in the sink. Not leaving your belongings scattered around the house. Those seemingly little things are often not considered worthy of an attempt at change. Furthermore, disrespect is often noted in people from whom we would expect so much more. Partners, loved ones, children, and extended family; we can all be guilty of it. Those professionals we pay large sums of money to who leave us sitting in their waiting rooms until they are good and ready and to the ones we engage in simple transactions who can't be bothered to give eye contact. The people we sit next to on public transport or drive past in our cars. All are worthy of respect, and all are capable of giving respect. What does disrespect actually feel like? So, what does disrespect actually feel like? I have been asked that question recently. Now I have to dig deep to find the words. We're so used to brushing it aside. A shrug and ‘oh, it doesn't matter.' But, hold on – it does matter, and sometimes it gets through and gets under our skin. Or builds up until we explode. And even then, we quickly clean up and cover up our shame at being disrespected. It's not a nice feeling, what more can I say? It sucks, actually. Lately, as I've been doing my personal work and bravely opening up my heart to scrutiny, I've felt it. In fact, recently, I was shocked by the level of fury and rage in me when confronted with several issues to do with lack of respect. So I have dared myself to feel difficult feelings by taking out the self-judgment and criticism and extending compassion to myself the way I would to a friend. I've learned to ‘sit with unbearable feelings' and listen. And I've been able to process it enough to find other words. And then there is respect. And then there is respect—such a beautiful feeling. One of those commonplace treasures in life that we often fail to see and thereby take for granted. What does ‘being respected' feel like? Again, it's a tricky one to describe, but we know it when we experience it. It's somewhere in the being noticed, in the being acknowledged. It's a feeling of I'm okay, maybe even more than that; they see my uniqueness and my individuality. That person has seen me and has deemed me worthy of a little time, maybe just a second or two. It goes on from there; it's the person who seeks out my opinion, takes time to be with me; to really listen, who doesn't interrupt or talk over me; they do want to know what I think. The person who speaks highly of me. It's the kindness shown. Maybe they know that I'm tired and my back is aching; maybe they just want to be kind to me without reason. It's a good feeling, a good nourishing feeling. ‘I'm okay, they're okay,' and the world isn't just a bad place after all. When I feel respect, I feel valued, and I know I am loved. Respect is about love. It is love in action. And we all need it. Quotes to consider I speak to everyone in the same way, whether he is the garbage man or president of the university. Albert Einstein Respect yourself, and others will respect you. Confucious Be beautiful if you can, wise if you want, but be respected – that is essential. Anna Gould Love without respect is dangerous; it can crush the other person, sometimes literally. To respect is to understand that the other person is not you, not an extension of you, not a reflection of you, not your toy, not your pet, not your product. In a relationship of respect, your task is to understand the other person as a unique individual and learn how to mesh your needs with his or hers and help that person achieve what he or she wants to achieve. Your task is not to control the other person or try to change him or her in a direction that you desire but he or she does not. I think this applies as much to parent-child relationships as to husband-wife relationships. Love is not all you need, nor all your wife or husband needs, and certainly not all your children need. We all need respect, especially from those who are closest and most intimately connected with us. Peter Gray PhD Questions to answer When did you last feel respected/disrespected? What did it feel like? Is it true that respect has to be earned? Why or why not? Do people need to be deserving of respect to gain our respect? Further reading By Susanna Warner Susanna lives on a small farm in Central Victoria, Australia, where she and her husband have 3 alpacas and a small flock of black-faced Suffolk ewes. These days she has a bit more time to reflect on her decades as a Registered Nurse, and Mental Health Nurse and her many encounters with people struggling with inner health and how applying healthy spiritual concepts can help. She enjoys writing and putting her musings into words and hopes these will help hurting hearts. Photo by Axel Vazquez on Unsplash
Let's be real, marriage is too important to only have one episode, so yeah we're talking Marriage again. This time we're talking about some of best practices - like prayer and devotion time as a couple, knowing your spouses love language, practicing love and respect and everyone's favorite topic... SEX. I know! So if you're married, plan on getting married, wish you were married, or just want to hear about this topic from a married person's perspective, this is the episode for you! Book References: The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts by Gary Chapman Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs by Emerson Eggerichs Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage by Kevin Leman (Haven't read this yet, but we've heard great things). 1 Corinthians 7:5 | 1 Corinthians 7:9 | Ephesians 5:22-17 | Matthew 19:4-6 --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Colt and Birungi (Seattle-based stand-up comedian) catch up and discuss the topics below after several months not being able to perform together. For tour dates, please visit www.birungicomedy.com. Instagram: @birungicomedy / YouTube: Birungi Comedy Show Notes: 01:03 Birungi's advice on SUPERSETTING YOUR LIFE. 05:55 The art of authenticity when performing stand-up comedy. 12:00 The art of using silence in music and stand-up comedy. 18:51 We all bring "baggage" into our relationships! 21:94 Performing for fundraisers. 23:01 Bitten by the comedy bug! 28:49 How Birungi's stand-up career started in 2015. 33:01 Stand-up is a grind, no matter how successful you become. 34:30 "Sets and Reps" in the world of comedy and developing your act. 36:18 Recording another comic's joke is like criticizing a woman's fetus at 6 months old. 42:00 Performing in Boston. 47:02 "No prophet is accepted in his home town" -Luke 4:16-30 49:30 Perspectives on "Black Lives Matter." Books referenced: Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, the Respect He Desperately Needs, by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. The New Comedy Bible: The Ultimate Guide to Writing and Performing Stand-Up Comedy, by Judy Carter. Total Recall: My Unbelievably True Life Story, by Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Ok, ladies – this one's just for you! Mike is noticeably absent in our “Ladies Only” podcast, The Noble Man is Encouraged by His Wife. Join the wives of Mike's “Wise Guys” men's group (from Episode 15) as they discuss the power of their husbands' small group and the positive ripple effect it has on their family. Guys… If you've ever wondered whether your wife would be ok with you joining a small group and adding one more thing to the calendar, this just might be the encouragement you need to hear. Ladies… If you've ever wondered if the extra time your man will be spending away from you to invest in small group will be worth it, don't take my word for it. Listen to these women discuss the value of knowing their husbands have other Christian men in their lives. These are men they can be real, authentic, and open with; men who can encourage one another in the Lord and as a result, encourage one another in their marriage and family as well. Benefits these wives discuss: “He wants to talk more when he comes home.” “It helps him become more attentive to me.” “I feel more cherished.” “He has guys to carry the load and share the burden.” “I can be his encourager, but I'm not the only one who knows how he really feels.” Resources that have helped these wives understand their husbands better: The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn (and For Men Only by Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn) Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul by John Eldredge Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs by Emerson Eggerichs Proverbs 27:17 Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! View Show Notes: NobleWarriors.org/Episode18 Leave a Review: If you like what you've been hearing, we invite you to leave us a review. Tell us what you love about this episode! More Resources and Encouragement: NobleWarriors.org © Copyright 2020 All rights reserved
Mike Young is joined by a group of younger guys as they discuss the impact of men who have invested in their lives in this week's podcast, The Noble Man Invests in Other Men. As fathers, we are to be the primary disciplers in our children's lives. As men, we need to seek to invest in younger men, come alongside them, and encourage them in their faith. A broader perspective of discipleship includes modeling ideals and character traits such as: Consistency in church attendance Generosity Caring Availability to share time and advice Walking the talk Hospitality as a family affair Service Investing in others Studying the Word regularly Walking well with Christ Discipleship can also happen in a moment. “Standing in line at Walmart, we can have a spiritual conversation that encourages someone in their faith, and that's a discipleship moment.” “Never get to the point where you think no one is watching you. You can be a mentor and encourager to someone right behind you.” Resources: The Noble Man is a Man of the Word [Podcast Ep. 11] MasterLife Curriculum Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs by Emerson Eggerichs FamilyLife's Weekend to Remember (Use Group Name: NOBLEWARRIORS for discount) Point Man: How a Man Can Lead His Family by Steve Farrar Half Time: Moving from Success to Significance by Bob Buford Qualifications for elders and deacons: 1 Timothy 3 Titus 1 View Show Notes: NobleWarriors.org/Episode17 Leave a Review: If you like what you've been hearing, we invite you to leave us a review. Tell us what you love about this episode! More Resources and Encouragement: NobleWarriors.org © Copyright 2020 All rights reserved
I am such a speck inspector! And unfortunately, (especially for Tim) my marriage is often not exempt from my expertise. You know what I'm talking about, right? The passage in Luke about the beam and the speck? I seem to have an uncanny ability to see around or even straight through the beam in my eye to help Tim identify the speck in his. Praise God, I'm not a bad as I used to be, but no doubt, I still have plenty of work to do! Find all Scripture references from this episode at http://jennyzentz.com/podcast-seeing-clearly-in-your-marriage *Resources mentioned in this episode: - Called to Love: Experiencing Your Best Marriage Through the Words of Jesus, by Alisa DiLorenzo - The One Extraordinary Marriage Podcast - Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs, by Emerson Eggerichs And please don't forget to subscribe and share. Together we can help more women discover practical ways to apply the power of God's Word to our everyday stuff! Follow Jenny on FB and IG @JennyZentz *Please note any resource links are affiliate links. I will receive a small percentage from purchases made through them to help compensate for the time, effort and cost of content creation. Happy Shopping!
In this podcast we continue the marriage conversation started on a recent sermon given on Sunday morning and share some practical tips on how to foster effective communication in order to build a stronger, lasting and fruitful marriage. Resources: "Love & Respect:The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs" - Dr. Emerson Eggerichs https://loveandrespect.com/ "The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts" - Gary Chapman https://www.5lovelanguages.com/ BetterLove Marriage Assessment by Les & Leslie Parrott https://store.lesandleslie.com/collections/better-love
Show Agenda Featured Presentation: The 7 Rings of Marriage with Special Guest, Jackie Bledsoe Recommended resources: The 7 Rings of Marriage, Jackie Bledsoe 7 Rings of Marriage Bible Study, Jackie Bledsoe Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, The Respect He Desperately Needs, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs Other Links Jackie's website Faith in Focus: “Love & Respect” “However, let each […]
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