Horrible Sh*t: A Millennial Confessional

Don’t call it a comeback! The Toast has had an eventful summer and is finding the rhythm to get these episodes back to the people. Stay tuned, there is plenty more horrible sh*t on the way… In this lengthy tirade, The Toast recounts his rocky relationship with his own self-identity and explains to Ulrich his many misguided attempts to find it in the reflections of media reviewers. In this confessional, The Toast and Ulrich discuss: Personal Identities, personality traits as TV Tropes, being lonely teenagers, the digital divide, how twitch can make friends, bipolar, the dangers of internet cults-of-personality, Channel Awesome, the Angry Video Game Nerd, doing things for money versus as career, and much much more. Just what is The Nostalgia Critic reviewing this time? Whatever it is, it’s going to be some horrible sh*t… CONTACT US: EMAIL TWITTER

Hop in the back and get ready to go for a ride on this weeks confession. The Toast tells Ulrich all about the times his wheels have let him down. From being pushed into snow, to stranded in West Virginia with a flaming car, your hosts go on a leisurely drive down memory lane, discussing terrible pizza restaurants, family reunions, Seinfeld, racism, and first dates. And just what does the Mothman want with The Toast's minivan? Pop open the hood, but get ready to find some horrible sh*t. 

Head on down to the Community Center in this week's confession. The Toast explains to Ulrich his varies attempts to appreciate and produce fine art, and just how terribly that went. In the discussion, the two talk about American vs. European art, anime, the Naruto Run, homeless pigeon punchers, mastering total control of your body, and much more. But behind all of this lies the frightening tale of a young, disturbed boy, who expresses more than the Toast ever wanted to see in art class. Just what waits for this boy in the parking late? Whatever it is, it's going to be some horrible sh*t.  CONTACT US: EMAIL TWITTER

In this weeks confession, the Toast weaves a tale of all the other tales he weaved using other peoples characters. He tells Ulrich how he got started on writing Beetleborg fanfiction, and how many school assignments he got away with through fanfiction. Featuring a dramatic reading of the only extant sample of the Toast's Sonic fanfiction. Just what happens in chapter 7? Whatever it is, it will be some horrible sh*t... EMAIL

Gotta listen fast! Mr. Needlemouse himself is the primes focus of this weeks’ confession. The Toast explains to Ulrich his ground breaking theory of “The Sonic Gene”, outlying how it was created, how it develops, and how it is exploited. Going through all stages of a Sonic Fan’s development, The Toast and Ulrich discuss fandoms, slice of life comics, furries, Chris-chan, beloved video games, and much much more than can be written in this description. It’s a sordid tale of a boy tainted too soon, and all the awful things a blue speedster made him do. And what was the song The Toast was dancing too? Whatever it is, it’s going to be some horrible sh*t. IMAGES:  Issue 75 Page 2 Issue 94 CONTACT US:  EMAIL TWITTER

It's a literal bone-cruncher in this weeks confession. The Toast tells Ulrich all about the many ways he has hurt himself over the years. From licking hot radiators, playing soccer, imitating Star Ship Troopers, and more, we see just what lengths The Toast will go through to get out of doing something he doesn't want to do. If you're eating ice cream, you'll want to slow down after you listen. And just what is under the tape of the Donatos bag? No matter what it is, it's going to be some horrible sh*it.

You're gonna want to take a shower after this one. In this weeks confession, the Toast tells Ulrich all about his lack of personal hygiene. It's a tale of head lice, wetting the bed, pretending to brush your teeth, and hair grease. All of this along with a look at undiagnosed mental illness, and the hierarchies of middle school. What ssent of body spray is that? Whatever it is, it's going to be some horrible sh*t...   EMAIL

Grab a box of pocky and some ramune, this is going to be a long one. In this confession, the Toast and Ulrich take a look back at the horrifying anime-fueled fires in which their friendship was forged. It's a tale of teenaged angst, heart break, Arby's curly fries, nerf guns, broken friendships, anime, 2000's memes, jobs, and loyalty. All of which takes place in libraries, buses, and of course, anime conventions. Sit back and here how beautiful friendships can be born in the cringiest of places. But, just what did those guests do to their hotel room? Whatever it was, you can be sure it was some horrible sh*it   CONTACT US: EMAIL TWITTER

Back refreshed after trips to the emergency clinic and Norway, the Toast regales Ulrich with days of holiday fun in this confession. But in the stocking is not just whimsical yuletide greetings, but conversations about racism, boundary stepping, the horrors of the elderly, Jive Ass Turkeys, and much more. What did the Toast's mom say to land him in the hot seat? It's time to open your presents, and see what you got. But no matter what it is, it's gonna be some horrible sh*t.    CONTACT US: EMAIL TWITTER

After an impromptu Christmas break, the Toast returns to tell his tale of manipulation to Ulrich. Stricken by his parents divorce, and puberty, the Toast attempts to turn his sadness into personal gain through a serious of guilty pleads for gifts, and using his mother as bait. Listen as through this, your hosts discuss iPods, the Wii, new dads, Jim Gaffigan, Clerks, art projects, dancing, and much more. Just what did the Toast write to his mom's boyfriends in those letters? Whatever it was, it's going to be some horrible sh*t.

Things take a turn for the serious in this confession. The Toast confesses to Ulrich the struggles he faced in his pre-college education. From self-hatred in his Montessori elementary school, authoritarian principals in middle school, to hate-mongering algebra teachers in highschool, to the illnesses - both real and fake - that lead him to be prosecuted by the school system. What's on the lesson plan for today? Whatever it is, it's going to be some horrible sh*t...

There's even more trouble in Equestria in today's confessional. The Toast confesses to Ulrich how in a desperate bid of loneliness, he would seek comfort in a group of sinful Bronies, who would eventual defraud himself, and the state, of a incredible amount of a money. It's a tale of fedoras, hot tubs, lover suites, burning conventions, fanficiton, ice skating, being bamboozled, hidden racism and homophobia, and lots more in this sordid tale. Ulrich is forced to relive some terrifying memories, too. What are they? Whatever they are, they are going to be some horrible sh*t... CONTACT US: EMAIL TWITTER

The Toast and Ulrich no longer have to wonder what friendship could be in this confessional. The Toast relays just how he fell into being a hardcore Brony, and how a cartoon about colorful horses would have a direct role in losing his virginty. Between those horrifying points the conversation leads to gender roles, 4chan, weird cartoons, hot glue, "mutual oral pleasure", The Lonely Island, The Toast's 18th birthday party, and more. What do you think your cutie mark would be? Whatever it is, it's probably some horrible sh*t... Contact Us: EMAIL TWITTER

It’s back to late 2000’s in this episode of Horrible Sh*t. The Toast tells Ulrich of a night filled with a distinct lack of teenaged-hormonal romance. Listen as The Toast relays his near Olympic level inability to read signals, and also to hear about skittles, footy pajamas, staying home alone, Sonic Riders, cocaine, lying, awkward popcorn hand-holding, destroying self-confidence, the EMO LANTERN, and much more. What did Daphne bring in here purse? Whatever it is, it’s going to be some horrible Sh*t…   And yes, he DID mean Melanin   Contact us: EMAIL TWITTER

Things get… uncomfortable in this third confession. The Toast confesses to Ulrich just how and when his masturbation saga began. One late night watching a battered VHS of the Berenstain bears, a casual reach down the pajamas sends a 6-year-old the Toast spiraling into a downward auto-erotic pit that leads to doctors’ visits, blackmail, The Basement, airplanes, under the kitchen table, and college entrance exams. And just how do possums fit into all this? Whatever the answer, it’s going to be some horrible sh*t…   Contact us: EMAIL TWITTER

In his second confession, the Toast admits how a simple browser pet game led to several internet girlfriends and fleeing from a hotel in the middle of the night. In trying to unpack this to Ulrich, your hosts discuss virtual pets, killing your problems, dedicated internet forum culture, carving words into walls, Code Lyoko, taking minors over state lines, scratch off tickets, young love, meeting strangers on the internet, infidelity, *asterisk sexting*, break ups, and so much more. It’s gonna be a long one, maybe check what’s in your child’s internet history while you listen. You might just find some horrible sh*t…   Contact us:  EMAIL TWITTER

In his first confession, The Toast relays the sinful relationship he had with his Playstation Portable. What started out as an innocent Christmas gift received in a hotel room quickly turned into a pandora’s box of teen-aged millennial lust. As Ulrich listens to this account, the conversation explores furry porn, fetish development, broken door handles, stolen Wi-Fi, Mountain Dew Game Fuel, and the strange loneliness of early 2000’s internet. What will we find in that PSP’s downloads? No matter what, it will be some horrible sh*t.    Contact us: E-Mail Twitter