The Honestly Adoption Podcast

With all of the negative, and often untrue, headlines that surround foster care and adoption, it's refreshing to read a story that uplifts and brings hope.  That's exactly what this week's podcast guest is on a mission to do. Dagmara Sitek is a children's book author, who is turning tragedy into hope and bringing encouragement and empowerment to children in foster care, and their caregivers, all over the world.  A Little More About Dagmara... Dagmara Sitek is a Canada-based mother of two, who is committed to children's education and emotional well-being. Originally from Poland, she is married to a Taiwanese-Canadian. She wrote the Courage Tales series about foster care heroes because she realized something important – not all kids get a fair shot at life. 
 “Loris Opens Up His Heart” was inspired by the tragic story of 8-year-old Kamilek from Czestochowa, who died due to mistreatment by his stepfather. Dagmara's goal is to empower children through literature: Explore the transformative power of books in shaping young minds. 'Loris Opens Up His Heart' provides a medium through which adoptive or foster parents can empower their children, fostering a sense of self, understanding, and compassion. How To Connect With Dagmara... Pre-order Loris Opens Up His Heart Visit Dagmara's website Follow Dagmara on Instagram Thanks for stopping by this week ;-) 

If you're anything like us, last year was a really difficult year. We stepped out of it, into 2024, feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and fearful that the New Year would turn out just like the old year. The biggest aspect of this journey to take a hit was our mental health.  Anyone out there with us on that one?  But, it doesn't have to be this way. There are practical steps we can take as caregivers, to drastically improve, even transform, our mental health. It begins by creating a Mental Health Decree.  This past week, we hosted a 3-part workshop entitled, Overcoming Isolation & Burnout in 2024 and it was simply amazing. More than 500 caregivers from all over the world signed up and went through it. Session 2 was all about Transforming Our Mental Health in the New Year. Not only did we give practical advice, we also shared a valuable Action Sheet to help you take action and decree your value and boundaries. Game-changer!  It was such a powerful session (in fact, possibly our best live session ever!) that we decided to drop a snippet into this week's podcast. Check it out.  The great news is that you can also still register for the workshop and catch all of the replays. Details below (along with the Action Sheet Download). And, we've also opened up public enrollment for Resilient Caregiver University (also, below). Register for Overcome Isolation & Burnout in 2024 (replays available until 1/25) Download Your Mental Health Decree Action Sheet Enroll in Resilient Caregiver University Thanks for stopping by this week ;-) 

Happy New Year! We're kicking off the 31st season of The Resilient Caregiver Podcast and this is episode 299. We are absolutely BLOWN away that we have produced 31 seasons of this show since October, 2015! Thank you for being part of this amazing journey.  We're kicking off the brand new season with an amazing interview with our good friend Rob Scheer from Comfort Cases and author of A Forever Family: Fostering Change One Child At A Time. A Little More About Rob... Rob entered the foster care system as a child who had lost both parents. He was brought into a house with all of his belongings in a tattered and torn trash bag. As Rob and his husband Reece went through the adoption process for each their 5 children, who are now their daughter and 4 sons, they arrived on their doorstep through foster care experiencing the same undignified process Rob endured forty years ago. Floored by the fact that children still carry their lives in a bag used for trash nearly four decades since his own experience, Rob decided to devote his life to restoring dignity to those transitioning in and out of foster care with the creation of Comfort Cases. His personal dedication and success through Comfort Cases has provided hope and self worth to thousands of children as he and his team empower the next generations transitioning within foster care. How To Connect With Rob... Learn about Comfort Cases Discover more about Rob Watch Rob's TED Talk Also On The Show... Grab your spot now for the Overcoming Isolation & Burnout in 2024 workshop coming January 15, 16, & 18th exclusively online! During this free 3-part live event we'll be diving deep into your purpose, person and plan as a caregiver. Plus, we'll be sharing the proven path to building and maintaining resiliency all year long! Registration is open! Click Here.  Thanks for stopping by this week ;-) 

2023 was a combination of fulfilling, overwhelming, sometimes defeating, but most importantly, a year of growing for us. We learned so many important things this past year.  As we bring this year to a close, we take a moment to look back and discuss the important things we learned as caregivers.  These include... The value of time and space Focusing on the need before the behavior Setting healthy boundaries with our adult children Making the most of the time we have with the people who are with us and sooo much more!  Pull up a chair and join the conversation!  Also on the show... The Safety Planning Essentials Mini-Course is available until 11:59pm PST on December 31st. The course includes lessons on building and maintaining safety plans, navigating investigations, and managing crisis. Click Here to enroll!  Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)     

Once we've aligned our expectations, and leveled them to a manageable place, we need to establish boundaries with our children. This is not an easy task, especially if you're parenting children who become triggered easily. And sometimes the boundaries will be very hard to explain.  How do you do this?  In this episode of The Resilient Caregiver Podcast we dive into a conversation around boundaries, what they may need to be, how to set them and, most importantly, how to maintain them.  Also On The Show.... Check out the TRC website Browse our free resources Learn about the Resilient Caregiver University Check out other podcast episodes (and subscribe!) Book us to speak at your event Schedule coaching sessions with us Thanks for stopping by this week ;-) 

In the words of Ellen Griswold (from Christmas Vacation), "I know how you build things up in your mind, Sparky. You set standards that no family event can live up to."  That might not fully be the case for you, but we often do struggle with our expectations. Especially when it involves the Holidays and situations that can go south quickly with meltdowns, triggered behaviors, overstimulation, and more.  How do we navigate through this?  More importantly, how do we set expectations that don't set us, or our families, up for failure?  That's what we're diving into in this week's episode of The Resilient Caregiver Podcast.  Also On The Show... Check out the TRC website Browse our free resources Learn about the Resilient Caregiver University Check out other podcast episodes (and subscribe!) Book us to speak at your event Schedule coaching sessions with us Thanks for stopping by this week ;-) 

For caregivers of a multi-racial families, hair care can be stressful and overwhelming. How do you provide the best care for your daughter or know what products to use?  If you've had these questions, or felt overwhelmed and defeated by this topic, we have good news. Tony Award Nominated Acress Shalita Grant from the shows NCIS: New Orleans and You most recently, joins our show to discuss her new brand, Four Naturals Hair and provides a TON of hope and insight for caregivers just like you! About Shalita... Shalita Grant was raised in Petersburg, Virginia and attended high school at the Baltimore School for the Arts in Maryland where she was a YoungArts Winner in Theater and Presidential Scholar in the Arts. At 17, she received a scholarship to attend the Julliard School for her B.F.A. in Drama, graduating in 2010. She starred as Cassandra in "Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike" on Broadway, for which she earned a Tony Award nomination for Featured Actress in a Play and won the 2013 Theatre World Award for Outstanding Broadway Debut. Her TV credits Include, NCIS: New Orleans, Santa Clarita Diet, Search Party and You. In Shalita's words... My journey with Four Naturals started with a ponytail. As an actress with Type 4 hair, the tightest texture on the hair chart, I faced unique challenges while on NCIS New Orleans. My ever-changing ponytail concealed the damage I was chasing. I experienced traction alopecia in my second season and significant hair loss along my hairline in the third season, leading me to leave my job by the fourth season. I experienced a hard truth: No matter how much money you have or who you have access to, if you have type 4 hair, your options are limited to wigs and extensions, getting locs, or just cutting it all off. After quitting, I recognized my hair as my number one acting career problem and set out to solve it. In 2019, I began reading journals and articles from the world of Cosmetic Chemistry - absorbing everything there was to know about the three parts of the hair strand, hair porosity, cationic and anionic charge, and more. After reading, I understood that everything I was taught to do to care for my fragile, fickle type 4 hair was pure ritual! No wonder I could never solve my chronic issues with dryness and breakage.  I then researched the hair practices and ingredients used by the people of India, Eritrea, Ethiopia, and Greece and created the patent-pending Four Naturals Treatment. I combined hair science and plant medicine and solved my lifelong issues with dryness, breakage, lack of curl definition, lack of established hair routine, and heat damage.  The first treatment, I couldn't quite believe my results - my hair felt softer, the color was richer, and it appeared thicker, and my hair felt heavier! However, by my third treatment, my hair was undeniably different. I had the best hair of my life! It was so easy to maintain, unbelievably soft and strong, and I could flat iron it without the heat damage requiring a Big Chop. So, I created Four Naturals Hair, and my mission is to make the lives of people with Type 4 hair better, easier, and more consistent. Best of all, because my treatment addresses the hair health concerns of people whose needs have been ignored for generations, it solves everyone else's health concerns. I see the Four Naturals Treatment as the beginning of a hair revolution. How To Connect With Shalita... Visit the Four Naturals website Follow Four Naturals Hair on Instagram Visit the Four Naturals YouTube channel Thanks for stopping by this week ;-) 

Diversity is a central aspect of the foster and adoption journey. But often, it's overlooked or taken for granted. That's precisely why we have crucial guests like our good friend Maria Hansen-Quine.  She's a wealth of knowledge and expertise, particularly when it comes to the celebration of diversity in foster care and adoption.  A Little More About Maria... Maria passionately believes in the value of children. So much so that she has devoted the past 22 years to working with children, currently working as a school counselor in a beautiful inner city community.   Maria has worked in three different states, six different schools, two group homes, an outpatient therapy children's programs, a homeless shelters, and has provided court mandated therapeutic in home support to families.  Maria's passion for kids was birthed during college, when she spent two summers running day camps in Camden New Jersey. Maria's early beginning stories begun in a little country called the Faroe Islands. Here Maria spent the first eleven years of her life, immigrating to Canada as a non-English speaker. Later as an adult, Maria immigrated to the United States.  Maria calls herself a precious jewels mamma, as she believes children are sacred gifts from God.  Maria and her husband Sam have ten beautiful and diverse precious jewels, seven through adoption, two born biologically, and one bonus adult daughter (and son in law).  Sam is an adult adoptee. Also On The Show... Our new booking page is live! If you are an event coordinator or leader and looking for your next keynote or breakout speaker, send us a request. Our 2024 calendar is filling up fast. Click Here! Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)   

We're excited to welcome Marna Pacheco from CapeAble Weighted Products to The Resilient Caregiver Podcast to discuss how weighted products (blankets, vests, wraps, etc) can help your children who have sensory needs. Through their patented Smart Weight Technology, CapeAble Weighted Products is changing the game in the weighted products field. And good news...the products she shares are NOT just for children. Adults can benefit too! (Just ask Kristin...

It leaves us baffled. We're having a good day, doing something they wanted to do, and suddenly they reject us, respond negatively, or become defensive. We could simply ask our child a question and the claws come out. It leaves us confused, defeated, and bewildered.  And we often don't see it coming. How do we make sense of the metldowns, outbursts, and push-backs?  In this episode we discuss our child's defense system, what causes them, and how to make sense of what we're seeing.  Also On The Show.... Don't Miss The 5-Day Resiliency Challenge, happening right now. You haven't missed anything though. You can catch all of the replays. During The Challenge, we are sharing practical steps to building and maintaining resiliency as a caregiver. It's free to join. Click Here to register.   Thanks for stopping by this week ;-) 

You may be thinking, "Wait, they're talking about the holidays already?" That's right!  We're entering the season known as the holiday vortex- From Halloween through New Years it's a season of overstimulation, grief-magnified, and loss-intensified for our children.  How in the world can we nagivate this season and live to tell about it? If you're a caregiver who's wondering this, we have good news. Deborah Gray joins the podcast for an amazing throwback episode all about helping our children through the holiday season (Halloween through New Years!).  A little more about Deborah... Referred to as the “attachment guru” by Adoptive Families Magazine, Deborah Gray specializes in attachment, grief, and trauma issues of children in her practice, Nurturing Attachments. As a clinical social worker, Deborah has the honor of helping families develop close, satisfying relationships after children's earlier losses, traumas, and/or prenatal exposure to drugs and alcohol. In addition to her therapy practice, Deborah is the creator of the post-graduate certificate program, Attachment & Trauma Focused Therapy (ATFT). She holds an MPA in Public Administration (Health Care), from the Maxwell School/Syracuse University.  Deborah is the author of Promoting Healthy Attachments; Attaching through Love, Hugs, and Play; Nurturing Adoptions; and Attaching in Adoption. She co-authored, with Megan Clarke, Games and Activities for Attaching with Your Child. In 2015 Deborah was awarded a Lifetime Achievement Award from the International Association for Training on Attachment and Trauma in Children. Also on the show... Get our FREE Holiday Survival Guide.... a collection of interviews with trauma-trained therapists that will give you valuable insights into navigating the holidays! Click Here to get access.  BIG annoucement coming this Monday, October 16th. But you need to be on our email list to get the firsthand info. Click Here to visit our homepage and get on the list!  Thanks for stopping by this week ;-) 

Most caregivers step into the parenting journey with dreams, ideals, and a certain vision of how parenting is going to unfold. We have dreams of what our children will be like when they grow older. We envision positive, warm relationships, that are worthy of a Hallmark Movie. Sounds ridiculous, right? But that's what we do. That can set us and our children up for failure.  In this episode we discuss re-adjusting your expectations to help you and your children achieve success.  In this episode we talk about... Re-adjusting your expectations. Trauma doesn't play by the rules. What happened yesterday is not what will happen today! No longer trying to achieve perfection (newsflash- it's NOT possible!)  Feeling successful when we accomplish 1 or 2 things that are important Lowering expectations so not to set our children up for failure How we can re-adjust expectations successfully Also on the show.... We are getting REAL close to launching Resilient Caregiver University! Click Here to learn more and send us some important feedback!  Thanks for stopping by this week ;-) 

For a lot of caregivers, hands-on parenting won't end when their child graduates from high school. We'll be involved in some what, shape, or form with our children as they move into adulthood. But that doesn't mean that our lives, or their lives, will be restricted. Quite the opposite. Resiliency as you continue to parent into adulthood IS possible. In this episode, we welcome Sue Badeau, who knows a thing or two about building resiliency long Into parenting adult children. She and her husband Hector are currently involved in several of their adult children's lives.  A Little More About Sue... Whether delivering a training herself, or developing a curriculum for others, Sue has one goal in mind: providing memorable, effective, educational workshops that inspire and motivate action. After participating in Sue's training sessions, attendees report understanding new ways to apply complex information. "I see myself as a translator," Sue explains, "Presenting challenging material in ways that professionals, parents and caregivers can implement in their daily lives and practice."   How To Connect With Sue... Contact her via email Purchase her book Follow her on Facebook Thanks for stopping by this week ;-) 

Being a dad on the foster and adoptive caregiver journey is no easy task. Resiliency, let alone our sanity, seems like climbing Mt. Everest without oxygen. But, it doesn't need to be this way. There is hope. In this episode Mike has an open conversation with two dads about how to build resiliency!  We talk about vulnerability, the importance of community and connection, a little bit about what happens at Road Trip (our unique experience in the mountains of Colorado for foster and adoptive dads) and so much more.  Also On The Show... Road Trip! We have 6 spots left. Dads, if you need a getaway, join us in LESS THAN 2 WEEKS for Road Trip 2023. Click Here.  Hope Conference 2023. Join us this fall in Des Moines, Iowa for a powerful, refreshing, and hope-filled weekend for foster and adoptive parents. Click Here to learn more.  Resilient Caregiver Resource Page Resilient Caregiver Podcast Resilient Caregiver Homepage Thanks for stopping by this week ;-) 

In the heat of the moment, when your child is melting down, you're on display, or you're just overwhelmed and exhausted, the question that is likely running through your head is "What's wrong with this child?"  But, it's the wrong question to ask. It's okay if you've asked this before. We all have. Don't beat yourself up. It happens to all of us. You're not alone.  In this episode we discuss this and what the RIGHT question actually is. And the right question has the power to change EVERYTHING- your response, your attachment to your child, the level of trust you have with them, and even your resiliency as a caregiver!   Also on the show... Visit the NEW Resilient Caregiver website here.  Road Trip 2023 is almost here and we have a few spots left. If you're a dad in need of a getaway to the mountains, don't miss this amazing and transformational event. Click Here.  Join us for Hope 2023 this November! Hope Conference takes place just outside of Des Moine, Iowa and is a can't miss event for foster and adoptive parents. We will be there leading 3 different breakout sessions on understanding and leveraging your influence with your children, effectively responding to behaviors, and building healthy attachments with your children. Click Here to grab your spot.  Thanks for stopping by this week ;-) 

Welcome to The Resilient Caregiver Podcast. We are sooooo excited to unveil the new name, new approach, new conversations, and (each week) new insights.  This week, the two of us are talking through the heartbeat behind The Resilient Caregiver (our parentn company's name) and some insights into how to achieve resiliency.  In this episode, we discuss.... Understanding, and how gaining a new perspective on your child can change everything!  Education, and why we can never ever ever stop growing as caregivers.  Support, and why this is the glue that holds it all together.   Also on the show.... The NEW Resilient Caregiver website!  Thanks for stopping by this week ;-) 

We've blown the lid clean off on a BIG secret we've been keeping for the past 8 months!  On August 30th, our brand new initiative (and name), The Resilient Caregiver, will go live to the world. We're making this change for one big reason: We are passionate about and intensely focused on helping you, amazing caregiver, build resiliency through a deeper understanding of your child, in-depth and relevant education, and an insanely dedicated and understanding support community that helps you thrive!  We're diving into all the amazing details of the new site in this final episode of The Honestly Adoption Podcast (don't worry, only the name is changing!)... On The Show... Visit The Resilient Caregiver Preview Page Download the presentation slides! Download The Resiliency Success Path Thanks for stopping by this week! 

In this episode, Mike shares some encouragement for foster and adoptive caregivers. Along with that, he also shares an exciting annoucement that you won't want to miss.  Here are important links mentioned in this episode... Honestly Adoption's website (to get on our email list to you're in the loop on the BIG announcement)  Lady GaGa's song Hold My Hand Thanks for stopping by this week :-) 

In 2016, sensing an urgency to create safe space where foster and adoptive dads could connect with one another, Mike Berry, Andrew Schneidler and Jason Morriss, created Road Trip: A Mountaintop Experience for Foster and Adoptive Dads. They had one goal: create safe space where men could be open, honest, and vulnerable in without fear of judgement or criticism. To date, more than 600 men have journeyed up the mountain. In this latest episode, they share openly what Road Trip is, why it's so transformational in men's lives, and how dads can find connection and camaraderie. A Little More About Road Trip... Let's begin with what Road Trip is NOT. It's NOT a retreat, NOT a conference, and NOT a church men's retreat. It's a conversation. Weird, right? What does that even mean? At Road Trip we're all about invitation. Simply put...you attend a retreat, but you're invited into a conversation. And the best part? You can choose to participate, or just listen. In any case, Road Trip is safe space for foster and adoptive dads to share their greatest fears and greatest struggles, without judgement.   In the midst of this conversation, you also get a chance to getaway and participate in fly fishing, hiking, exploring, napping (if you need it), micro-brewery trips, horseback riding, and much much more! Heads up, we only have a few more spots left for 2023... Click Here To Learn More Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

One of the strongest emotions we'll experience on this journey is grief. How do you work through this so you better help your child?  It's not easy. In fact, grief itself, is a journey. We experience this because this journey is hard, and we have lost a lot. So have our children. And helping them heal is a priority. But in order to better help our children heal and process their own grief, we must learn to process ours and arrive to a place of healing.  Fortunately, we have amazing partners and leaders like Jessica Sinarski, LPCMH. A Little More About Jessica... Jessica's superpower is making brain science accessible and entertaining for children and adults alike. Extensive post-graduate training and 15+ years as a therapist, consultant, and educator led her to create the resource and training platform—BraveBrains. In addition to speaking engagements all over the country, Jessica partners with schools, child welfare agencies, and other organizations to help adults become healers for hurting children. She is also the mom of 3 busy boys. How To Connect With Jessica... Order a copy of Riley The Brave's Big Feelings Activity Book Check out Jessica's Safe To Feel Sad blog post Thanks for stopping by this week ;-) 

As caregivers, we crave good resources. But they can be so hard to find. Fortunately, there are amazing human beings who help us succeed by sharing their amazing and powerful gifts with us. In this episode, we spent some time with the amazing, and the the lovely Terria Roushun from the Hair Essentials Company. You will love this conversation as the crew discusses how to provide the best care possible for your child's hair. A Little More About Terria... Terria Roushun is the CEO and Director of The Hair Essentials Company. Terria has established herself as a veteran in the hair and makeup industry with over 25 years of experience as a licensed cosmetologist, freelance beauty artist and textured hair expert. Terria has a keen eye for trend looks and her hand perfecting skill has afforded her the opportunity to work with several prestige brands and agencies in New York, Los Angeles, and in the Chicagoland area. More recently she began to help the transracial adoptive and foster community overcome the anxiety of dealing with highly textured hair. Hair Essentials Company is designed specifically with that community in mind. From a young age it was instilled in Terria to use her gifts to serve others. Throughout her formative years she always kept that notion in the back of her mind, what are my gifts and how can they help others? Today, Terria is celebrated for spreading positivity, empowering families and turning trend looks into everyday fashions. Now Terria is expanding from one-on-one sessions to sharing her signature methods to help as many transracial adoptive and foster families gain confidence, skills, knowledge and support for their child's textured hair. How To Connect With Terria... Visit Terria's Website Follow Terria on Instagram Check out Terria's Mini-Course Also On The Show... Dads! Join us in the mountains of Colorado THIS October for Road Trip! Learn More Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

Gaelin Elmore found himself in 25 different foster homes, over 13 years as a youngster. Fortunately for him, a kind and caring football coach brought him into his home while he finished high school. Through that turn of events, he received the resources he needed to thrive as he transitioned into adulthood. But so many children do not have the same fortune as Gaelin did. Now, in his adult life, he's on a mission to speak truth into the foster care system, and enact change that will ultimately transform the lives of thousands of vulnerable foster youth. A little more about Gaelin... Gaelin Elmore spent 13 years in foster care without being adopted. He stayed in over 25 different homes, before living with his high school football coach to finish high school. While in care, Gaelin was abused, and his mom was manipulated to give up parental rights. Now he speaks and uses his story and experiences to educate people on ways to better serve foster youth, and care for disadvantaged communities. After high school, Gaelin played college football for the University of Minnesota and East Carolina University. He also played professional football for the Cincinnati Bengals. He is married and has a daughter. How to connect with Gaelin... Follow Gaelin on Instagram Connect with Gaelin on Facebook Visit Gaelin's website Thanks for stopping by this week ;-) 

Where can caregivers go to find connection, camaraderie, inspiration and hope? We're glad you asked! Registration is open for one of our favorite in-person conference for caregivers, The Replanted Conference. It's happening October 12-14, 2023 in Naperville, Illinois and it's a must-attend event.  We only endorse and recommend a handful of conferences each year and Replanted is one of them. This episode is a recording we did live during the 2022 Replanted Conference.  Replanted Conference 2023 is open for registration... Register now for Replanted 2023. This year the conference features speakers Dr. Ira Chasnoff, Jason Johnson, Cindy Lee, and more. Click Here to learn more! Thanks for stopping by this week!

The adoption and foster journey can be difficult for our children. Feelings of loss, grief and abandonment can move in and take up residence in their hearts and minds. Fortunately, there are voices of hope clearing the way for understanding and transformation.  Don Brushaber is one of those voices. As an adult adoptee he had lived a lot of life before feelings of abandonment began to stir in him. Just a few short years ago he found himself in the middle of a nervous breakdown. But from that, he was able to come to terms with the loss and abandonment he felt at a young age. He reconnected with his birth parents and began a journey of transformation and healing.  His story will inspire you but, most importantly, give you insights into helping your own children navigate similar feelings as he had to navigate.  If you would like to ask Don a question, send us an email to hello@honestlyadoption.com. Thanks for stopping by this week :-) 

Behaviors can be so hard to handle. Especially when you are overwhelmed and tired. But behaviors are telling us an important story that can help us reframe our entire approach to our children.  Where do we begin?  The first step is to understand trauma's impact. The second is to learn how trauma's impact dictates present behavior.  In this episode we're sharing the audio from our free workshop this week, The Trauma Knowledge Transformation (which you can still sign up for and catch the replays).  Click Here to sign up for The Trauma Knowledge Transformation workshop.  Also, our online course and coaching program, Trauma Knowledge Masterclass is open for public enrollment. Learn how you can get access to 8 weeks of group or personal 1:1 coaching with Mike and Kristin. Click Here! Thanks for stopping by this week ;-) 

Sometimes it's hard to see past the behaviors and into the heart of what's really going on with your child. But once you discover this powerful parenting tool, your journey transforms!  We get it. Trust us on this one. In our 20+ years of parenting, and parenting children with a trauma history, and special needs, the struggle has been real. We did a lot of things wrong in our parenting in the early days. One of those 'things' was often viewing behavior as simply 'bad behavior' from a child who just wanted to be bad, and not as a voice trying to tell us something deeper.  When we discovered that behavior was actually a windown into a much bigger story of what had happened to our children, and what was happening with our children, our perspective changed. We now how the parenting tools to frame their behavior in the correct context. And that, in turn, helped us replace contempt with compassion.  In this episode, we dive into that transformation and share a big update on an upcoming live event we are hosting that will help you gain the same tools that changed everything for us. Keep reading.  Join The Trauma Knowledge Transformation Workshop, LIVE this coming week! Beginning Monday, June 19th we are kicking off our FREE 3-Part Live workshop that will help you gain a new perspective on your child's trauma, behaviors, and needs. We're calling this the transformation because, well, that's precisely what happens for you when you learn these valuable tools. It's free to join but space is filling up fast. Click Here to save your spot!  Thanks for stopping by this week ;-) 

Saying no, not right now, setting boundaries, or emphasizing consequences are all part of the parenting journey. Even the foster and adoptive parenting journey. But there's one aspect of this that often stands at the forefront.  It's a big question we receive all the time. "I say no to my child, set a boundary, and then the meltdown begins. What can I do?" It's tricky. No doubt about that. But there are ways to navigate this. In this episode we share Insights and strategies to help you effectively respond to your child when you set a boundary and they become triggered.  Also On The Show.... Thrive Coaching has a few open spots! If you are looking for one-to-one attention and support from us, sign up for one of our few remaining spots to our 90-Day coaching program. Click Here. Thanks for stopping by this week ;-) 

At any given moment on the foster and adoption caregiver journey, we can find ourselves in crisis. How you respond, and the plan you put in place, can change everything!  We in no way want to freak you out, but having a plan is crucial to successfully navigating these tricky waters.  In this episode we share a recent session we taught on responding to, managing, and navigating through crisis in your home.  Also On The Show... Get our Behavior Response Blueprint here. Download our Trauma Knowledge Guide + Video here Thanks for stopping by this week ;-) 

It's a tricky thing to deal with. Boundaries. Where's the balance between connected parenting and boundary setting? In this episode we have an open discussion around this.  As caregivers we can often feel taken advantage of, walked on, and just plain used. Our children don't necessarily mean to do this, but, as a product of their trauma history, that "taking" nature is a survival tactic. How do you set up, and maintain, healthy boundaries with a child who may, or may not, understand them?  That's what we discuss in this episode!  Thanks for stopping by this week ;-) 

Out of all the great resources we have at our disposal as caregivers, there are a few that stand out among the rest. We must learn to listen to them.  Our children. Adult adoptees. Former foster youth. And birth parents. Those who have experienced the journey first hand have a wealth of knowledge to share with us, to help us become the best caregivers possible.  The best thing we can do is open up our hearts, and minds, and ears, and listen deeply to their voices and hearts. In this episode, Kristin and Nicole explore what that looks like. Also on the show... Insight Virtual Conference 2023 replays are still available and will be until May 15th. Click here to get access to more than 15 hours of training PLUS in-depth valuable resources!  Thanks for stopping by this week :-) 

There is so much unnecessary fears and misunderstandings surrounding birth parents and birth families. In this episode, we're working to clear it up. Last week we were grateful and honored to have the amazing and wonderful Ashley Mitchell join us for Insight Virtual Conference 2023. The Q&A portion of her session was so moving and powerful that we knew we had to make it a stand-alone podcast episode.  In this episode, Mike and Ashley spend time clearing up unwarranted fears, the truth about extended family, how to set up boundaries with birth parents who aren't in a healthy place, and much more. It's fun, colorful, and insightful. You will love Ashley's heart!  A Little More About Ashley... Ashley Mitchell, owner of Big Tough Girl and Founder + Executive Director of Lifetime Healing Foundation, set out to seek increased care, understanding, and resources for birth mothers.  For over a decade, Ashley has been one of the most consistent and sought after birth mother voices in the nation.  Well known for her vulnerability and transparency in adoption, her story has touched the hearts of countless members of the adoption community and beyond. How To Connect With Ashley... Follow her on Instagram Check out Ashley's website Learn about Lifetime Healing Foundation You can still get access to the Insight Virtual Conference 2023 replays and take home more than 15 hours of amazing and indepth training content! Click Here. Thanks for stopping by this week ;-) 

On the journey of healing and fostering healthy attachments, we must be tuned in to the needs our children have. But also our responsbility as caregivers. How do we pinpoint both?  We're fortunate to be connected to brilliant minds, and hearts, like our good friend Deborah Gray, who is a licensed clinical social worker, and known worldwide as the attachment guru.  In this episode we're sharing the replay of a session Deborah hosted during the 2021 Insight Virtual Conference (because the 2023 conference is coming THIS week!).  A Little More About Deborah... Deborah has a lifetime achievement award in 2015 from ATTACh, and was a Henry Meier Practitioner in Residence at the U of WA. She treats children and families in a specialty practice focused on trauma, attachment, grief, and parenting support. She was core faculty for the Portland State University Foster Care and Adoption Therapy Program. She is the author of the Attachment-Trauma Focused Therapy Program, now in partnership with The Honestly Adoption Company and 1MillionHome, and presented through Honestly Adoption University. Deborah authored: Promoting Healthy Attachments; Attaching through Love, Hugs, and Play; Nurturing Adoptions; and Attaching in Adoption. She co-authored Games and Activities for Attaching with Your Child. Also On The Show... Insight Virtual Conference 2023 is coming THIS Thursday and Friday, April 20th and 21st. There's still time to grab your ticket and get more than 15 hours of amazing insight, education, and connection to other caregivers like you. Early Bird registration closes at 11:59pm PST this Wednesday, April 19th. At-the-door tickets will be available after that for a higher price. Lock in your early bird spot now. Click Here! Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)   

Is there any way to successfully communicate my child's needs to a medical professional that helps me get results? Big question!  Navigating our children's special needs on a daily basis is hard. But what makes the journey even harder is feeling unheard and unseen in a medical or therapeutic provider's office. We've all had that figurative (or maybe literal) door slammed in our face. We've felt dismissed, disregarded, and just plain stupid.  What if we told you there was an effective, and practical, way to successufully communicate your child's needs to providers that got results?  There is. That's why we're excited to welcome Maureen Peterson to The Honestly Adoption Podcast. She's a medical professional but also the parent of a child with chronic illness. She knows the ins and outs of communication from both the professional and parental side of things. And she's here today to share her expertise with us! A Little More About Maureen... In her own words... "As a general pediatrician and allergist/immunologist, I have spent my career caring for patients with a variety of acute and chronic health problems. I am a military veteran and mother of three amazing children. I have first-hand experience with being a parent of a child with long-term health issues. Through my own journey, I have learned that to enjoy the life that I was given even if it wasn't the life I had planned. I became a certified life coach to teach parents how to build self-confidence and decrease overwhelming emotions creating a calm, meaningful life." How To Connect With Maureen... Get her Quick-Start Advocacy Checklist here Follow her on Instagram Connect with her on Facebook Also On The Show... Insight Virtual Conference is coming soon! We're less than 2 weeks away from this exciting conference kicking off featuring over 15 hours of training content, PLUS access to world-renowned thought leaders and trainers. Click Here to learn more! Thanks for stopping by this week ;-) 

The title of this podcast episode likely prompts a reaction from anyone reading it. After all, the hardships of this journey take quite the toll on us. How do you find the strength and insight to regain compassion for your child?  If you're asking these questions, you're not alone. In fact, this makes you normal. But there is hope. More importanly, there is a term for the loss of compassion: Blocked Care.  On this episode, we've invited our two good friends, Lisa Qualls and Melissa Corkum, our go-to experts on this complex topic, to share insights but also truths from their new book Reclaim Compassion: The Adoptive Parent's Guide to Overcoming Blocked Care With Neuroscience & Faith.  About Lisa and Melissa:  Lisa C. Qualls and Melissa Corkum serve thousands of adoptive parents by providing post-adoption support through their podcast, books, speaking, and coaching. How To Connect With Lisa and Melissa:  Visit their website Follow them on Instagram Buy the book Also On The Show:  Insight Virtual Conference is coming soon! Get free access to our latest round of Fast-Action Bonuses when you register by April 1st! Click Here to learn more! Thanks for stopping by this week ;-) 

The FASD journey can be very defeating and very frustrating. Mostly because, we are constantly dismissed by providers, or made to feel like we're a bit crazy when we try to get answers. How do you break through this?  We're glad you're here for this episode as we dive into the topic of advocacy, especially as it relates to parenting a child with a Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD).  We're joined by Laura Hernandez, from Mama Systems, who is an adoptive mama, but also the caregiver to children on the spectrum. She knows first hand what it looks like and feels like to be dismissed, but she also shares some valuable insight we can. take home as caregivers, when it comes to advocacy!  How To Connect With Laura:  Get her FREE resource (especially for being a listener of this show!). Click Here!  Connect with her on Facebook Follow her on Instagram Also On The Show... Insight Virtual Conference is coming soon! Get free access to our latest round of Fast-Action Bonuses when you register by April 1st! Click Here to learn more! Thanks for stopping by this week ;-) 

The caregiver journey is hard and full of challenges. We hear words like resiliency and we often get the wrong idea. What does that really mean?  It's not what you think. Resiliency is not perfection, it's not about never failing, and on the days you don't feel like you're not resilient, it's not what defines you.  So then, what does it mean to be resilient?  In this latest episode of The Honestly Adoption Podcast, Mike explores what resiliency is and is NOT.  Also on the show... Catch our ENCORE presentation of the FREE training, How To Effectively Respond To Behaviors coming THIS Tuesday, March 21st at 1pm EST. Click Here to learn more!  Insight Virtual Conference 2023 is coming soon and with it, BRAND NEW FAST-ACTION BONUSES when you grab your ticket by April 1st! Click Here to register now Thanks for stopping by this week ;-) 

From the memorable quotes, to the "ah-ha" moments, to the tears, to the on-camera dancing....the dancing....oh the dancing! Insight Virtual Conference 2022 was one for the history books. And now...we get to do it all over again! That's right...Insight Virtual Conference 2023 is open for registration and coming April 20th and 21st.  In this special Honestly Adoption Podcast Episode, we are recapping the entire 2022 conference by sharing audio clips from just about everything that happened at the conference. The great news? It doesn't just have to stay in this podcast! Nope. You can get your ticket to the 2023 conference now and get access to our Fast-Action Bonuses... Full access to our University training library ($4997 value) A complimentary ticket to our brand new Insight After Party on night 1 of the conference Plus, you'll receive... More than 15 hours of training (or 15+ hours of Continuing Education Credit if you're a professional) from world-renowned speakers, authors and thought leaders in the foster and adoption space.  Access to our conference Virtual Lobby where we feature a ton of free resources and speaker info The opportunity to learn from the brightest and best minds and speakers in the foster and adoptive community Check out this special episode, and grab your Insight 2023 Ticket now! Click Here. Thanks for stopping by this week ;-) 

As caregivers, we often carry around immense feelings of guilt from something we said, or did. How do we face these feelings, let alone overcome them? It's a question all of us have had at one time or another. And what's even more difficult is that we have to keep on parenting and caring for our children, while carrying this burden. It's not like we can retreat away and find healing.  In our latest episode, Mike shares some ideas and insights into this question from a place of honesty and vulnerablity.  Also On The Show... INSIGHT VIRTUAL CONFERENCE 2023 registration Is opening THIS MONDAY, February 27th! And when we open everything up we have some amazing fast-action bonuses teed up for you. This year's conference is going to be transformational. Get on our email update list here and be the first to hear about our fast-action bonus bundles!  Thanks for stopping by this week ;-) 

While it may be hard to see and understand, our bodies are super computers that capture and hold data for years. This has never been more the case, then with our child's trauma history.  You've probably found yourself scratching your head a time or two, or simply throwing your hands up in confusion, when the child who has been in your home for years is melting down for no apparent reason. Or, perhaps you've been caught off guard by a season where your child, who seemed fine for a long time, suddenly begins to act out, or behave in extreme ways. There's a simple explanation for this: the body keeps score of everything traumatic experience (acute or chronic) that a human being has gone through in their life. When you consider this reality as it relates to our children, who have experienced significant trauma, everything begins to make sense. In this episode, Mike shares a simple understanding of this reality. Also On The Show... Insight Virtual Conference is coming April 20th & 21st to a computer, tablet, or smartphone near you. When we open up registration in just a little over a week, we're giving away some magnificent bonuses. The best place you can be to qualify for this is on our email update list! Click Here to add your name! Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

One of the most confusing and overwhelming aspects of the foster and adoption journey, is trying to make sense of behaviors that come from trauma. Where do you even begin?  Let's be honest... Trying to make sense of our child's behavior, let alone manage it (or stop it), is like climbing Mt Everest! Nearly impossible....or so it seems! What if we told you there was a simple, effective way to understand and respond to your child's behaviors in a way that brings calm in the middle of chaos? If you're nodding your head yes, we have good news! In this episode we're sharing the first half of an online training Mike hosted entitled, How To Effectively Respond To Your Child's Behaviors: A 4-Part Blueprint To Bring Calm to The Chaos. In this free training, he walks you through: The #1 most important step to effective behavior response A proven, 4-part response blueprint that is easy to apply Done-for-you scripts you can use when your child is dysregulated The mental shift caregivers can make that changes everything! The training is free to join in and you can catch the full replay now until 11:59 pm PST on February 15th. Click Here to access the entire training replay! Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)  ​

Rejection hurts, no matter who you are, or the circumstances. It especially stings when it's coming from our children. Why does it happen, and how can we respond?  In this episode of The Honestly Adoption Podcast, we're sharing an insider's Live Q&A call that Mike did with Jenn Hook, therapist, and Executive Director of The Replanted Conference. This is content that's normally exclusive to Oasis Community, Honestly Adoption's members-only support and training site, but we're sharing this valuable conversation with our podcast audience!  On the call, Mike and Jenn answer questions from caregivers who attended live, as well as questions sent in ahead of time, around rejection, trauma, behaviors, attachment, and much more!  Also On The Show... Insight Virtual Conference 2023 is coming soon! Make sure you are on the email update list, because when we open registration, our update listers will get special bonus access JUST for being on the list. Click Here to join!  Get 30-Days FREE Trial Access To Oasis Community! As part of this special episode, we're giving away 30 days free access to our exclusive members-only site. Click Here to learn more! Thanks for stopping by this week ;-) 

This journey is long and can often be defeating. The fact is, parenting is hard. Sometimes, in the face of it all, we just need some solidarity. We need to know that we are not alone, and we need to hear someone else tell us it's okay.  In this episode of The Honestly Adoption Podcast, we are taking a step back from talking through strategies, techniques, and steps, and just having a conversation about where we are at as caregivers, and what we can do when we feel like we're staring down a mountain.  On This Episode We Talk About... Setting bite-sized goals (and not looking at the entire year, but just a few weeks :-)) Pulling back from a bigger picture and focusing instead on smaller pixels Setting lower expecations (not a bad thing) Taking a breath when we feel like our backs are against the wall We Also Talked About... Getting access to The Scoop, our brand new weekly update email with bite-sized, transformational content that will help you continue to become the best caregiver possible. Visit our main site here, sign up for our parenting lessons, and you'll automatically start receiving The Scoop! Thanks for stopping by this week ;-) 

It's really, really, really hard to believe this when you're in the middle of it, but the behaviors you see in your children are not about you. They're a window into something much bigger.  In short, the behaviors you are seeing are a direct result of trauma, not you (even though it feels like it). Once you understand that, everything can change. But how do you gain the right perspective? How do you successfully tell yourself that this is not personal even when it feels really personal? That's what we're covering in this episode of the podcast. Also On The Show... Sign Up For The Scoop! The Scoop is our brand new weekly email update that gives you insider access and information on everything we're up to at Honestly Adoption BUT more importantly, valuable insights and tools to help you be the best caregiver possible. It's easy to join The Scoop. Click Here to sign up (When you do, we'll send you our Free Behavior Response Blueprint). Thanks for joining us this week ;-)

We're concluding our special podcast series, The Insight Archives, with a question that many parents wrestle with: How do I build a connection with a child who consistently, and constantly, rejects me?  You pour more love, and time, and energy, and resources that you can begin to keep track of into this child. You are there at a moment's nontice when he or she needs you. Heck, you would swim the North Atlantic to get to them if you needed to. And yet, the rejection is real and it's constant. Nothing you say or do will ever be enough (let alone, good enough). How do you even begin to make sense of this?  In this episode, Kristin shares practical, yet in-depth, insights into how you can actually work to build a connection with a child who consistently pushes you away, rejects you, or pursues superficial relationships over you. We know how much this hurts, but we also know there's a much bigger picture playing out in these situations. Have hope, hang in there! You are not alone.  Also On The Show... LAST CHANCE to Get BOTH Insight 2021 and 2022 Replay Libraries for $29.95 limited time access, or $59.95 lifetime access! During this special series, we are giving our listening audience the chance to take home both Insight Virtual Conference Replay Libraries for just $29.95 ($59.95 for Lifetime Access). Click Here to lock in your spot! Thanks for stopping by this week ;-) 

It's week 3 of our end-of-2022 podcast series, The Insight Archives, where we're sharing some of our favorite sessions from both the 2021 and 2022 Insight Virtual Conference replays. This week, our good friend Ligia Cushman joins us to talk about how transracial adoptive families can thrive.  Ligia's wisdom, insight, and gentle spirit will inspire you and move you. If you are a transracial family you will want to lean in because Ligia share stories that are powerful and moving.  A Little More About Ligia... Ligia Noemi Cushman M.A. is the daughter of immigrants from the Dominican Republic, one of eight children, and the mother of one son through adoption. In her award-winning book, Heard: How Loss Led Us to Love, Ligia captures the night her son was born and the many hard experiences she and her family encountered as a multiracial family in the deep South. Ligia graduated with her first master's degree in 2004 with a concentration in Human Services. In 2016, Ligia obtained her second master's degree in professional counseling from Liberty University. Also On The Show... Get BOTH Insight 2021 and 2022 Replay Libraries now! During this special series, we are giving our listening audience the chance to take home both Insight Virtual Conference Replay Libraries for just $29.95 ($59.95 for Lifetime Access). Click Here to lock in your spot! Thanks for stopping by this week ;-) 

It's week 2 of our end-of-the-year podcast series, The Insight Archives. We're sharing 4 amazing sessions from the 2021 & 2022 Insight Virtual Conference! In this episode, our good friend Chuck Hagele shares valuable insights into the online world and helping our children in the best way possible! There are so many present-day dangers that present themselves for children with a trauma history. Namely, the internet. How do we even begin to protect and safeguard our children from the many pitfalls the online world has? Fortunately, Chuck shares his many years of wisdom and expertise with us. But the biggest thing we love about Chuck's approach is that it way bigger than just sharing the latest tech trends, or filters that parents can use. He targets the heart and helps caregivers understand how they can build connection with their child while creating boundaries for them.  Also On The Show... Get BOTH Insight 2021 and 2022 Replay Libraries now! During this special series, we are giving our listening audience the chance to take home both Insight Virtual Conference Replay Libraries for just $29.95 ($59.95 for Lifetime Access). Click Here to lock in your spot!  Thanks for stopping by this week ;-) 

At some point, the odds of your family being in the middle of a crisis are great. It kinda sorta comes with the territory of the foster and adoption journey. In that moment, what do you do?  We've been in the place many times over the past 20+ years of parenting. And the most important lesson we've learned is that there is a right way to respond, and a wrong way to respond. Beyond that, there are crucial steps we must take to help our child heal, and keep us regulated and calm through, what could be, very difficult circumstances for our entire family for a season. As we dive into this new series, The Insight Archives, where we are sharing 4 sessions from the 2021 and 2022 Insight Virtual Conference, our hope is that you find clarity and insight as a caregiver. But most importantly, we want you to find hope.  Also On The Show... SPECIAL CLOSEOUT OFFER... as a listener of the show, you can get full lifetime access to both the 2021 and 2022 Insight Virtual Conference replay libraries for a discounted price. Plus, Certificates Of Training Hours for more than 33 hours of foster care or homestudy credit. Click Here! Thanks for stopping by this week ;-) 

We had the opportunity to sit down with Lata Hamilton who is a leaderships expert and adult adoptee living in Australia. She has an amazing story that will bring hope and empowerment to women worldwide, but also everyone who listens in! About Lata Hamilton (in her words)... "I believe everyone deserves to experience the magic of change. If we can make change the best experience possible, we can inspire change from within and empower ourselves and our teams. I'm a Change Leadership Expert accredited in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and Coaching and help women carve their own paths for change in career, leadership and life. ​Having worked across Insurance, Financial Services, Retail, Manufacturing, Government, Consumer Goods, and Advertising, I blend together my years of experience and accreditation in Organisational Change Management, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), and Coaching. I've led change with some of Australia's biggest companies with agile, fit-for-purpose, practical Change Management strategies, plans and approaches. I've worked on changes that have impacted over 100,000 people, operating model changes impacting thousands, global cultural transformations, and digital transformation that is literally change the way that we work. If you're the kind of leader with vision and passion, pioneer with me." How To Connect With Lata... Visit her website (and download her free guide!) Follow her on Instagram Also On The Show... THIS WEEK ONLY.... you can get our entire Honestly Adoption University Library (more than 200 hours of training) for 98% off! Click Here to get all the details! Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

We love heart-warming adoption storylines. And this week, we are excited to share an interview with Preston Pouteaux, one of the producers of a new documentary called "I'll See You Later."  I'll See You Later is a documentary that tells the life altering stories of adoption, profoundly carried between families learning to embody love together. For those who have an adoption story, this film resonates with a heart-aching richness and reflects the beauty of self-giving love; stories that reveal the very best in each of us. Some stories of adoption do not say “goodbye,” but, “I'll see you later.” Click Here to learn more about the film.  About Preston... Dr. Preston Pouteaux is a beekeeper, neighbourhood pastor at Lake Ridge Community Church, and the director of Plesion Studio. He is an engaging speaker, writer, and curator of conversations about faith and neighbourhoods. He studied at Covenant Bible College, Briercrest College, Regent College, Tyndale Seminary, and Jerusalem University College in Israel. He is the author of Imago Dei to Missio Dei [VantagePoint3], the award-winning author of The Bees of Rainbow Falls: Finding Faith, Imagination, and Delight in Your Neighbourhood [Urban Loft Publishers], and of The Neighbours Are Real and Other Beautiful Things [Plesion Studio]. He is a Harvey/Mackey Award winning writer for Faith Today Magazine, Ekstasis Magazine, and Strong Towns. Since 2015 his column, Into the Neighbourhood, has been printed over two millions times in weekly newspapers. Preston lives in Chestermere, Alberta, with his wife Kelly, their daughters Scotia and Ivy, and a few thousand honeybees. Also on the show... TODAY is the last day to enroll in Jeff Noble's Caregiver Kickstart Coaching Program and get access to a ton of awesome bonuses from Honestly Adoption University. Click Here to learn more!  Thanks for stopping by this week ;-) 

You may have just had a double-take when you read the title of this episode!  What in the world does safety during a traffic stop have to do with the foster care and adoption parenting journey?  A lot, actually!  Many caregivers on this journey are parenting a multi-racial family, children with a fetal alcohol spectrum disorder, autism, a severe mental illness, or another high special need. The likelihood of them having interactions with law enforcement are high unfortuntely. The biggest struggle, and question, we receive from caregivers is "How do I prepare my child for these possible unfortunate moments when they run into law enforcement?"  Fortunately, we have amazing human beings like Jacquelyn Carter from The Alliance For Safe Traffic Stops, who've created transformational resources we can utlitize to bring safety, but most importantly change!  A Little More About Jacquelyn.... Jacquelyn Carter is the president of Alliance For Safe Traffic Stops and the inventor of Not Reaching. She has an Associate Of Arts Degree in Information Technology, a Bachelor Of Science Degree in Criminal Justice, a Master Of Science Degree in Legal Studies, and a Master Of Public Administration with a concentration in Criminal Justice. She also serves on the Community Advisory Board in Alexandria, Virginia where she is also a resident.  How To Connect With Jacquelyn... Visit the Alliance For Safe Traffic Stops website Visit the Not Reaching website Follow Not Reaching on Instagram Also On The Show... Jeff Noble's Caregiver Kickstart Coaching Program is open for registration! When you join, you get more than $5000 in bonus content from Honestly Adoption University. Click Here to learn more! Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)