Unmaking Me with Melanie Welch MD

Season 1 Finale! How do you make decisions? Do you rely on that gut sense? Are you a more logical decision maker? Neuroscience has started to unveil the process that occurs in our body that leads to that gut feeling, and how we can use it to make better decisions. This is the last episode of Season 1, and I will be back on September 1st for Season 2. Until then, tune in all summer for replays of my favorite episodes. I would love to hear what strategies you will use after listening to this episode. Connect with me by email at hello@melaniewelch.ca, on my website melaniewelch.ca, or through Instagram where I'm @melaniewelchmd. If you want to create a calendar more in line with your purpose, go to melaniewelch.ca/workbook for a free resource. Resources for this episode: https://eagleman.com/academic-publications/ https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/bdm.1903 https://neurosciencenews.com/gut-feelings-9082/ https://thestack.world/news/wellness/self/the-neuroscience-of-intuition-and-why-it-s-time-to-hack-yours-1615539839323 https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/kahneman-excerpt-thinking-fast-and-slow/

Do you have times when you are doing an activity, time flies, and you feel better after doing it than before you started? How much of your time is spent in moments like this? These moments might be a clue to your Zone of Genius. In the book, The Big Leap, Gay Hendricks introduces the concept of the ZOne of Genius. In this episode, we discuss how to identify your own Zone of Genius and how to work toward spending more of your time there. I would love to hear what strategies you will use after listening to this episode. Connect with me by email at hello@melaniewelch.ca, on my website melaniewelch.ca, or through Instagram where I'm @melaniewelchmd. Resources for this episode: https://melaniewelch.ca/workbook https://www.gallup.com/cliftonstrengths/en/253790/science-of-cliftonstrengths.aspx https://www.harpercollins.com/products/the-big-leap-gay-hendricks?variant=32205677625378

Were you told as a kid that your passion for drama, art or writing was a waste of time? It turns out that cultivating creativity in our lives, a little at a time, has the power to be truly transformative. The skills and ways of thinking that creativity brings will be more and more needed as we move into a world with so much technology at our fingertips. In this episode we discuss some strategies to reshape our thinking through simple daily practices. I would love to hear what strategies you will use after listening to this episode. Connect with me by email at hello@melaniewelch.ca, on my website melaniewelch.ca, or through Instagram where I'm @melaniewelchmd. Resources for this episode: https://www.danpink.com/books/whole-new-mind/ Narrative-based medicine: https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jama/fullarticle/194300 Narrative-based medicine: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31988222/

Do you find it hard to celebrate your wins? Are you always on a quest for the next accomplishment? I have spent my life constantly seeking the next big thing and finding it really hard to slow down celebrate the moments. Yet, I now realize how important celebrating along the way is. Evidence in organizational psychology and leadership supports this. Organizations are stronger and people are happier when we celebrate along the way. In this episode we discuss my experience with learning to celebrate, as well as the evidence in this area. I would love to hear what strategies you will use after listening to this episode. Connect with me by email at hello@melaniewelch.ca, on my website melaniewelch.ca, or through Instagram where I'm @melaniewelchmd. Resources for this episode: https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2019/06/24/recently-succeed-at-something-celebrating-is-good-for-your-brain/?sh=65a871703d91 https://theartofeducation.edu/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/WhyCelebrate.pdf https://www.optimumhealth.org/blog/the-science-of-celebration https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/07439156221145696

Do you stop yourself from telling people what you really believe? Sometimes I am not even sure I know what I really believe, I have done this so much. In this episode I share my own journey with practicing getting comfortable with my truth and sharing that. I discuss Martha Beck's recommendation about doing what she calls an "Integrity Cleanse." I would love to hear what strategies you will use after listening to this episode. Connect with me by email at hello@melaniewelch.ca, on my website melaniewelch.ca, or through Instagram where I'm @melaniewelchmd. Resources from this episode: https://marthabeck.com/2016/10/how-to-live-your-truth/ https://marthabeck.com/the-way-of-integrity/

When something goes wrong, or you feel hurt or sad, how do you care for yourself? Do you give yourself the same care you would if you had a broken leg? In our society, we don't typically get taught how to care for ourselves when our emotions get hurt. The concept of emotional first aid is a practical tool created by Guy Winch to help us recognize that our psychological wellbeing is dependent on how we care for ourselves when things get hard. I would love to hear what strategies you will use after listening to this episode. Connect with me by email at hello@melaniewelch.ca, on my website melaniewelch.ca, or through Instagram where I'm @melaniewelchmd. 4 components of emotional hygeine: 1. Recognizing our emotions 2. Mindfulness 3. Self-compassion 4. Connection with others Resources for this episode: https://www.guywinch.com/

Is there something in your life that you are spending time, energy or money on that you should quit? The old adage that "Quitters never win" just simply isn't true. In fact, quitting the things that won't ultimately lead you to your goals might just be the most important step toward success. Last week's podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/making-time-creating-a-purpose-driven-calendar/id1641747336?i=1000612729173 and the associated workbook melaniewelch.ca/workbook are great first steps on the path to using your time and energy wisely. Resources for this episode: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.ca/books/300938/the-dip-by-seth-godin/9781591841661 https://thedecisionlab.com/biases/the-sunk-cost-fallacy

Access the free workbook for this episode here: melaniewelch.ca/workbook How much of your time is spent on the topics and activities that give you the most sense of purpose? If you are like me your calendar is probably filled with activities that reflect other people's goals and priorities, and those urgent things that come up and disrupt our lives, but are actually not that important. I decided to make a change to my own calendar by flipping the way I create my calendar and STARTING with the most important topics, the things that relate to my big dreams and sense of purpose, then filling in the rest from there, and learning to outsource the parts that are less important to me. I created a workbook for myself to work through an exercise like this, and I am happy to share it with you. Resources for this episode: Access the workbook for this episode: melaniewelch.ca/workbook Purpose-Filled Calendar Workbook Guided Visualization on Designing Your Dream Life https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ziOryqljzf4

"Do or do not, there is no try" -Yoda If you are anything like me, you have likely internalized this quote. We live in a society where trying is not celebrated. What if trying is okay? In this episode I share some of the evidence in this area that shows how important it is to be willing to try, fail, and learn from it in order to try again. I would love to hear from you about your thoughts and experiences. You can connect with me by email at hello@melaniewelch.ca, on Instagram @melaniewelchmd, or Tik Tok @drmeliswell.  I also have a really special request for you. I want to give you the best possible information, on topics that are most important to you. On my website melaniewelch.ca there is a link to a very short 3 question survey which will help me so my best for your.  If you complete the survey you will be entered in a draw for a Starbucks gift card! Thanks so much! Resources from this episode: https://www.nature.com/articles/s41467-019-12189-3 https://insight.kellogg.northwestern.edu/article/benefits-failure-mistakes-success https://www.nature.com/articles/s41586-019-1725-y.epdf?sharing_token=iu1bD2hdkJp3X4s1JqGxetRgN0jAjWel9jnR3ZoTv0Mgy9BYsOk8MdLh9FaYyO-uNHcoI4Ks4l4e8bh2OJDSfYgroVCBPay2_qZ8uToOlYS9Gk5mGQCb84SJ7swxrPNJ8uhquHcchN4oGRG0sYAiNQscbmNVKz68gbLkHdn--tX3nEvNFsp0_9oUDBbPkN2IwGPxWt9s1ZJnT-AO_yFGc3PjyDl9ZVqXCMLc0PeqVmaSVASf1cF2uiJjqawaIpqnE_8_XPf51-YOvvOFHLqrMzbaUDrO1-NWFXH-vBbomFxSj5yrvFFTXrTC8_X420Kg&tracking_referrer=www.scientificamerican.com https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_learn_from_your_failures

Have you heard the term embodiment used a lot lately? I have too, and I have been trying to understand what it means and what I need to do to experience life more fully through my body and mind. In this episode I talk my own journey, and how I believe practicing embodiment is going to help me and may help others. I would love to hear from you about your thoughts and experiences. You can connect with me by email at hello@melaniewelch.ca, on Instagram @melaniewelchmd, or Tik Tok @drmeliswell.  I also have a really special request for you. I want to give you the best possible information, on topics that are most important to you. On my website melaniewelch.ca there is a link to a very short 3 question survey which will help me so my best for your.  If you complete the survey you will be entered in a draw for a Starbucks gift card! Thanks so much! Resources for this episode: https://positivepsychology.com/embodiment-philosophy-practices/

Have you thought about all your core needs, those ones that need to be met for you to be satisfied with your life? I recently heard Amanda Doyle say, on the We Can do Hard Things podcast, that "Life is about activating all the parts of us." This statement struck and inspired me to reflect on what all the parts of me are. In this episode I discuss what all the core needs that I identify as the parts of me that I need to activate to stay well and happy. I would love to hear from you about your thoughts and experiences. You can connect with me by email at hello@melaniewelch.ca, on Instagram @melaniewelchmd, or Tik Tok @drmeliswell.  I also have a really special request for you. I want to give you the best possible information, on topics that are most important to you. On my website melaniewelch.ca there is a link to a very short 3 question survey which will help me so my best for your.  If you complete the survey you will be entered in a draw for a Starbucks gift card! Thanks so much! Resources for this episode: https://www.edu.gov.mb.ca/k12/cur/cardev/gr11_found/blms/blm14.pdf https://www.thoughtco.com/maslows-hierarchy-of-needs-4582571

Have you ever been in a room, place, or organization where you felt like you didn't belong? I feel like this a lot of the time, so today's episode is a look at the phenomenon of imposter syndrome and whether it really addresses our experiences. I would love to hear from you about your thoughts and experiences. You can connect with me by email at hello@melaniewelch.ca, on Instagram @melaniewelchmd, or Tik Tok @drmeliswell.  I also have a really special request for you. I want to give you the best possible information, on topics that are most important to you. On my website melaniewelch.ca there is a link to a very short 3 question survey which will help me so my best for your.  If you complete the survey you will be entered in a draw for a Starbucks gift card! Thanks so much! Resources for this episode: https://hbr.org/2021/02/stop-telling-women-they-have-imposter-syndrome https://www.inthelibrarywiththeleadpipe.org/2020/its-not-imposter-syndrome/ https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2023/02/13/the-dubious-rise-of-impostor-syndrome

What impact is trauma having on your life? In this conversation with Dr. Christine Gibson (christinegibson.net) about this critically important topic, we explore the role trauma plays in our lives, and how we begin to heal. Christine is on TikTok as @tiktoktraumadoc, and her book Modern Trauma Toolkit (moderntrauma.com) is coming out in May, 2023. Don't forget to follow the podcast wherever you listen, and connect with me at my website melaniewelch.ca, or on Instagram @melaniewelchmd. On my website I have a link to a very brief survey about your needs, click on "3 quick questions. " I will enter your name in a draw for a Starbucks gift card for completing the survey. Thanks so much for listening. Key takeaways from this episode: 1. How can you foster a more generalist approach to your life? How can you leverage your different interests and skillsets? 2. Traumatic experiences in childhood increase the risk of many mental health and physical conditions. Trauma can be healed. 3. We can't provide care for others if we aren't well ourselves. 4. There's a balance between true connection with others and maintaining our own psychological safety. 5. Trauma is much more prevalent than we have known, and the events and circumstances that cause trauma are unique to each individual. 6. For us to show up the way we want, the first step is balancing our own nervous system. 7. Attunement matters to our relationships and we can't be attuned until we are regulated ourselves in our own ventral vagal system. 8. As caregivers, it is key for us to recognize and acknowledge our own traumas and to do the work of healing. 9. The three stages of trauma therapy include: 1. Safety and grounding. Noticing our own nervous system. 2. Shifting away from stress responses and 3. Resourcing. The programs that are set up to help us manage our wellness are often not taking us past the first stage. 10. Being trauma informed starts with building our own toolkit around remodeling and rewiring our nervous system. 11. The opposite of trauma is not being happy all the time. The opposite of trauma is having a flexible menu of human experiences available to us, and more options for paths forward. Resources discussed in this episode: moderntrauma.com https://forward-facing.com/about-j-eric-gentry-phd/ Balint groups: https://www.cfp.ca/content/58/3/245 Deb Dana: https://www.rhythmofregulation.com/ https://www.danpink.com/books/whole-new-mind/

How can you make your money work for you? I have a new perspective on this topic, and I have realized that money is a tool to help us live the life we really want. In this episode, which is the third of a 3 part series about money, we talk about the ways that we can build wealth and use that to focus on goals that reflect our own values. I share my own story of learning to manage my money. You can connect with me by email at hello@melaniewelch.ca, on Instagram @melaniewelchmd, or Tik Tok @drmeliswell.  I also have a really special request for you. I want to give you the best possible information, on topics that are most important to you. On my website melaniewelch.ca there is a link to a very short 3 question survey which will help me so my best for your.  If you complete the survey you will be entered in a draw for a Starbucks gift card! Thanks so much! Resources for this episode: https://gighustlers.com/do-side-hustles-really-work-8-facts-and-statistics/ https://www.fool.com/the-ascent/research/side-hustles/ https://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/976130 https://www.ruleoneinvesting.com/ https://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/how-to-live-a-rich-life/#what-is-a-rich-life

Do you hate to talk about money? Or maybe you believe that how much money you have determines your sense of self worth. I have recently realized that I hold some beliefs about money that are holding me back.  In this episode, which is the second of a 3 part series about money, we talk about how to use evidence-based tools to start to change our beliefs about money.  You can connect with me by email at hello@melaniewelch.ca, on Instagram @melaniewelchmd, or Tik Tok @drmeliswell.  I also have a really special request for you. I want to give you the best possible information, on topics that are most important to you. On my website melaniewelch.ca there is a link to a very short 3 question survey which will help me so my best for your.  If you complete the survey you will be entered in a draw for a Starbucks gift card! Thanks so much! Resources for this week's episode: https://positivepsychology.com/core-beliefs-worksheets/#identify https://www.therapistaid.com/therapy-worksheet/exposure-hierarchy https://www.researchgate.net/publication/265907830_How_Clients'_Money_Scripts_Predict_Their_Financial_Behaviors https://www.researchgate.net/publication/232574114_The_Treatment_of_Disordered_Money_Behaviors_Results_of_an_Open_Clinical_Trial

Do you hate to talk about money? Or maybe you believe that how much money you have determines your sense of self worth. I have recently realized that I hold some beliefs about money that are holding me back.  In this episode, which is the first of a 3 part series about money,  I share my own story about learning about my own core beliefs about money, and how this links to the evidence on the common money beliefs in our society.  Let me know what your money beliefs are. You can connect with me by email at hello@melaniewelch.ca, on Instagram @melaniewelchmd, or Tik Tok @drmeliswell.  I also have a really special request for you. I want to give you the best possible information, on topics that are most important to you. On my website melaniewelch.ca there is a link to a very short 3 question survey which will help me so my best for your.  If you complete the survey you will be entered in a draw for a Starbucks gift card! Thanks so much! Resources for this week's episode: https://www.bradklontz.com/moneyscriptstest https://www.bradklontz.com/research https://www.researchgate.net/publication/265907830_How_Clients'_Money_Scripts_Predict_Their_Financial_Behaviors https://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/podcast/ https://www.morganhousel.com/

March 11 is Canadian Women Physicians Day! This episode is dedicated to my colleagues who are holding at all together, caring for patients in a crumbling system,  managing complex family lives, and trying to care for themselves somehow along the way.  Today we're talking about work-life balance. Is it a thing? Does anyone actually have it? How do move toward finding some harmony between all of or roles?  I would love to connect with you further. I would so appreciate it of you would go to https://melaniewelch.ca/ where I have a brief 3 Question Survey so I can give you what you most want and need. You can win a gift card for providing your feedback! I'm also on Instagram @melaniewelchmd and I would love to connect with you there, or you can email me at hello@melaniewelch.ca.  Strategies to move toward work-life harmony: 1. Identify the activities that give you a sense of purpose and meaning 2. Build a calendar that reflects the activities that give you energy as a priority, including short and long term goals and dreams. Use the calendar as a tool to say "no" to requests that aren't in line with your priorities. 3. Manage the emotions that will arise from setting priorities. It is normal to feel guilt, but it doesn't mean you should backtrack. 4. Find another way to manage low priority tasks.  5. Advocate for changes that reflect your needs, ie flexibility with scheduling. Set boundaries when something doesn't work for you.  6. Reassess regularly. Schedule in times to reassess, recognizing that your priorities will change.  Resources from this episode: https://community.thriveglobal.com/the-challenge-of-creating-a-good-work-life-balance/ https://www.researchgate.net/publication/349144745_CHALLENGES_ASSOCIATED_WITH_WORK-_LIFE_BALANCE_A_META-ANALYSIS https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/318087#Is-work-life-balance-just-hype? https://www.ima.org.il/FilesUploadPublic/IMAJ/0/197/98672.pdf https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6139766/ https://www.medicaleconomics.com/view/7-ways-to-find-more-work-life-balance-as-a-physician https://hbr.org/2022/01/why-so-many-women-physicians-are-quitting https://www.cmaj.ca/content/192/35/E1011 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4079063/

Are you on the verge of burnout? I have experienced burnout several times in my career and I have identified some pillars of my own recovery. As I discuss in this episode, the pillars complement each other. The four pillars are: 1. Rest 2. Self-compassion 3. Boundaries 4. Meaning. If you are experiencing burnout, you are not alone, and it can get better. Like Starbucks? I am collecting feedback on the topics most interesting and helpful to you. Go to melaniewelch.ca to answer a few quick questions and enter to win a Starbucks gift card. Connect with me on Instagram @melaniewelchmd and TikTok @drmeliswell. Resources for this episode:https://bootcamp.berkeley.edu/blog/mental-health-resources-to-help-prevent-creative-and-professional-burnout/ https://www.burnoutbook.net/ https://boundarybossbook.com/

Are you a person who feels more comfortable when you are in control? In this episode I discuss why this might be, what the consequences are, and how you can start to change. I would love to hear your story. Connect with me on Instagram @melaniewelchmd or TikTok @drmeliswell. I look forward to seeing you back next week.  Resources: The Relationship Between Uncertainty and Affect https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.02504/full Is the Pain Worth the Gain? The Advantages and Liabilities of Agreeing With Socially Distinct Newcomers https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0146167208328062 https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_losing_control_make_you_happier Desirability of Control Scale https://www.scu.edu › psychology › documents Mindsets That Promote Resilience: When Students Believe That Personal Characteristics Can Be Developedhttps://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00461520.2012.722805 Quantity versus uncertainty: When winning one prize is better than winning two. https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2007-15123-015 Today's takeaways: 1. Learn to appreciate uncertainty 2.Identify situations that trigger your desire for control 3.Reflect on whether you truly have control, and if taking action is the right use of your energy. 4.Reflect on your behavior in situations where you want to take control. Is it better to ask for more perspectives? 5.Gather support 6.Practice surrendering.  7.Focus on what you can control, often it is the process and not the outcome.  

Have you ever considered a career pivot or change? Dr. Beth is here for this inspiring conversation where she shares her story of transitioning from a grueling job in Pharmacy to a job she loves in Tech. Remarkably, this job transition had a huge ripple effect on Dr. Beth's entire life.  Connect with Dr. Beth on her website MedtoTechPivot.com, on TikTok @mtpivot, and on LinkedIn and Instagram @medtotechpivot. Connect with me on TikTok at @drmeliswell, and on Instagram @melaniewelchmd.  Today's takeaways: 1. Can you think outside the box about your career? Have you considered other possibilities?  2. You can make deliberate decisions on how to craft the life and career you want. 3. Advocate for yourself, help others understand your value.  4. The skills that you have are transferable into other worlds.  5. You can have big impacts on people in new and different ways.  6. Make your own purpose.  7. Find fulfillment and happiness outside of your work. You can't do this if your work is taking everything from you.  8. Try to put structures in place that force you to turn work off at a particular time. Plan an activity, a date, a call with a friend, doing something you love.  9. The more you reinforce your boundaries, the easier it gets, it becomes a self-fulfilling cycle.   10. Find something outside of work that brings you joy and is a priority.  11. For the sake of the quality of your work, turn it off when it's time. 12. Be open and seeking new opportunities. Networking is not what you think it is. Step outside of your day-to-day bubble. 

Happy Valentine's Day! However you feel about Valentine's Day, it is a good reminder that practicing showing love for ourselves is the key to a happy, fulfilling life.  Practicing Loving Ourselves in 9 Steps: 1. Get to know yourself. Really reflect on what you need and want.  2. Cultivate unconditional self-worth. 3. Do something that feels good just because it feels good. 4. Give love 5. Focus on the journey and not the destination 6. Set healthy boundaries 7. Feel love 8. Self-love is a practice of showing up for ourselves in small ways every day.  9. Surround yourself with people who love you and you love them back.  Show some love by sharing this episode with someone you care about. I'd love to hear what you think, I'm @melaniewelch md on Instagram.  Today's Tool for Transformation is the song "Special" by Lizzo. Have a listen and really feel the message Lizzo is sending.  Resources from this episode: TedxTalk Dr. Adia Gooden, Cultivating Unconditional Self-Worth https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EirlZ7fy3bE Boundary Boss, Terri Cole https://www.terricole.com/ “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” -Jim Rohn

What was the last experience of awe you had? How did it feel in your body? There is fascinating research to show that awe is a transformative emotion, it connects us to each other and makes us happier and healthier. What's so cool about this is that awe isn't just found when we have an experience like seeing the vastness of the Grand Canyon or the vibrant beauty of a Van Gogh painting. It's found in everyday moments: observing a child learning something new, hearing the first few notes of your favorite song on the radio, the pattern of the clouds on your drive home from work. We can cultivate awe in our lives, and the key is paying attention. I'd love it if you would share with me your experiences of awe, big and small. I'm on Instagram @melaniewelchmd.  If you know someone who might enjoy this episode, please click “share link” on the podcast and send it by text today. If you liked this episode, subscribe for more like it. Today's take home messages: 1. Experiencing awe makes us happier, healthier and more connected.  2. Awe is found in everyday moments. 3. We can cultivate awe, it starts with paying attention. Resources for this episode: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/awe/definition#how-cultivate-awe https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/dacherkeltner/docs/shiota.2007.pdf https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/whats_the_most_common_source_of_awe https://www.nytimes.com/2023/01/03/well/live/awe-wonder-dacher-keltner.html https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/quizzes/take_quiz/awe https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/622175/awe-by-dacher-keltner/

Have you felt lonely over the last few years? I have.  There is strong evidence to show that the most important element of our lives that leads to health and longevity is social connection. And on the flip side, loneliness is dangerous for our health.  In this episode I discuss some of the evidence in this area, and more importantly, discuss what we can do to build meaningful connections in our lives. This is such a special episode because you shared your stories and ideas with me for what you do to build and maintain social connection.  Please share this episode with someone who might benefit and don't forget to subscribe, rate and review. Let's continue the conversation on Instagram, I'm @melaniewelchmd. Resources for this episode: UCLA Loneliness Scale: https://fetzer.org/sites/default/files/images/stories/pdf/selfmeasures/Self_Measures_for_Loneliness_and_Interpersonal_Problems_UCLA_LONELINESS.pdf Harvard Study of Adult Development https://www.adultdevelopmentstudy.org/ The Good Life Book https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-Good-Life/Robert-Waldinger/9781982166694 https://nap.nationalacademies.org/catalog/25663/social-isolation-and-loneliness-in-older-adults-opportunities-for-the Loneliness and risk of dementia https://academic.oup.com/psychsocgerontology/article/75/7/1414/5133324 Loneliness and mortality https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1745691614568352 https://journals.plos.org/plosmedicine/article?id=10.1371/journal.pmed.1000316 Loneliness and risk of Cardiovascular disease https://heart.bmj.com/content/102/13/1009 Loneliness and Depression https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanpsy/article/PIIS2215-0366(20)30383-7/fulltext Loneliness Internationally https://www.kff.org/report-section/loneliness-and-social-isolation-in-the-united-states-the-united-kingdom-and-japan-an-international-survey-section-1/ Harvard report on loneliness (pandemic impact) https://mcc.gse.harvard.edu/reports/loneliness-in-america Eisenhower matrix https://todoist.com/productivity-methods/eisenhower-matrix Take home messages: 1. Social connection is the key to living a long and healthy life.  2. Quality not quantity of relationships is what matters.  3.  Meaningful connection takes effort over time.  4. Find ways to stay connected over time by checking in regularly, using tools like texts or group chats, but also prioritize more meaningful in-person experiences. One idea would be to invite a friend to try something new together.

Are you wondering how to find your life's purpose? In this episode, I speak with Dr. Kim Alexander about how to follow pleasure to find our purpose, honouring our mistakes to create self-compassion, and how being guided by our values can simplify our lives. She shares so many gems of wisdom with me on these and other topics, you will not want to miss this transformative episode.  Dr. Alexander is an Obstetrician/Gynecologist who focuses on Sexual Health, and Vulvar Health. You can sign up for her newsletter at https://www.drkimalexander.com/, and connect with her on Instagram and Twitter where she is @drkimalexander.  Today's tool for transformation is the song "Perdido" by Sarah Vaughan. Do yourself a favor and have a listen to this one. If you're anything like me, you won't be able to stop yourself from dancing! Today's Takeaways:  1.  Every person has inherent worth and dignity. Try to reflect on where you can live with this in mind.  2. In a relationship, (any relationship, for example with kids), use the framework, "This is what I need. What do you need? " as a way to get everyone's needs met. 3. Our life purpose is to seek pleasure. Pleasure is worship.  4. Find out what you can reduce in your life to learn rest. Make space to make space.  5. Replace your "I shoulds" with "I wants." 6. Self-compassion is honoring your mistakes. Learn the three part apology to make amends. 7. Let go of judgment of others. Don't yuck somebody else's yum. 8. Different people have different values. Let your values guide your choices.  9. Remember the spoon theory (https://www.webmd.com/multiple-sclerosis/features/spoon-theory) How many spoons do you have today?  10.  If somebody's best is not contributing to your pleasure or connection with you, and if they don't share the same values, they may not be the right person to have in your inner circle.  11. Reflect on, what is your task for the next phase of your life? 

Do you find yourself mindlessly scrolling on your phone after a long day? Smartphones are amazingly powerful tools, and they are designed to keep our attention. Emerging evidence is showing us some of the negatives of smartphone use. So what do we do about it? In this episode I discuss some tools and strategies for decreasing mindless cell phone use, and also address what often really drives us.  Let me know if this resonates. I would love your feedback on this topic, and on any other potential podcast topics that interest you. Please share with someone who might benefit, and don't forget to rate, review and subscribe. Connect with me further on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/melaniewelchmd/. Resources for this episode: Brain health https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7366948/ Multitasking https://www.apa.org/topics/research/multitasking Reading on a smartphone https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-022-05605-0 Impact of phones on depression https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5970452/ Mobile phones and memory https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29324924/ https://www.nytimes.com/2019/04/24/well/mind/putting-down-your-phone-may-help-you-live-longer.html https://www.theguardian.com/science/2015/jan/18/modern-world-bad-for-brain-daniel-j-levitin-organized-mind-information-overload https://www.becomingminimalist.com/break-your-cell-phone-habit/

Are you considering making a change in your life, big or small?  On this episode we discuss evidence-based strategies for successfully making life changes. One of the key elements, according to behavioral scientist Katy Milkman, is identifying our individual barriers to change and addressing those.  I would love to hear from you about whether this episode resonates to you. Are there pieces missing from the change conversation? Connect with me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/melanieisathree/ to share your experience. If you know someone who may benefit from this episode, please share the link with them, and thank you for rating, reviewing and subscribing to the podcast.  Resources: Work of Katy Milkman https://www.katymilkman.com/ Transtheoretical Model of Behaviour Change https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/10170434/

Are you experiencing “should-itis” this time of year? Holidays and times of transition can be a real trigger to feeling like we “should” be doing things a certain way. This episode gives us all some tools and strategies to reflect on some ways you can shift those “shoulds” to make room for experiences that bring joy and pleasure.  If you have competed the exercises from my Me in 2023 Challenge, designed to  prepare all of us to start 2023 with ourselves on our own priority  lists,  send me a DM on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/melanieisathree/ so I can enter you for a prize.  Resources: https://www.agoodplacetherapy.com/the-blog/should-statements https://positivepsychology.com/cognitive-distortions/

Are you always giving to others and finding that there is no time and energy left for you? It's time to put yourself on your own "To do" list. This episode is the second week of my Me in 2023 Challenge, designed to prepare all of us to start 2023 with ourselves on our own priority lists. In this episode we discuss Tim Ferriss' Past Year Review https://tim.blog/2021/12/27/past-year-review/, with a tweak from me, to review the things that gave us joy and happiness this past year, and build more of those into 2023 before we have a chance to fill our calendars with obligations.  Let me know on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/melanieisathree/ how this experience was for you. What insights did you gain? I will be with you live at 12:00 PST/3:00 EST on Instagram Dec. 23 and for our grand finale Dec. 30, or you can catch up on next week's podcast. I will be giving out a self-care themed prize to to one of you who completes the challenge!

Are you a person who puts your time and energy into caring for others and has little time for yourself? Are you ready to start to put your needs on your own priority list? In this episode, we discuss the benefits of rest and unscheduled time,  and make a plan for how to build it into our lives, starting with three short sessions this week. We also practice a tool that we can use to find the feeling of peace in our everyday lives.   Are you always giving to others and finding that there is no time and energy left for you? Me too. And I have heard from so many people who are finding this is worse than ever right now. It's time to put yourself on your own “To do” list. Let's do this together so we can start 2023 with a plan to care for ourselves. I am so excited to share with you the Me in 2023 Challenge. I will be with you live at 12:00 PST/3:00 EST on Instagram @melanieisathree https://www.instagram.com/melanieisathree/ Dec.16, Dec. 23 and for our grand finale Dec. 30 to share a plan to start 2023 with you on your own priority list. I will be giving out a self-care themed prize to to one of you who completes the challenge! Can't wait to start 2023 off with you!  Resources from this episode: -https://positivepsychology.com/self-worth/ -https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/mental-downtime/ 

Do you know how shame feels in your body and what to do about that very uncomfortable feeling? Understanding the role shame plays in our lives is critical to building connections with others. Shame is different from guilt and embarrassment. Once we know how it impacts us, we can begin to notice it and change the way we react.  Today's Tool for Transformation is to draw how shame feels in your body. You can use an outline of a body like this one, https://coloringonly.com/pages/person-outline-coloring-page/, or just draw whatever comes to mind when you think of shame and how it feels in your body. Listen to this episode for how this activity will help.  Are you always giving to others and finding that there is no time and energy left for you? Me too. And I have heard from so many people who are finding this is worse than ever right now. It's time to put yourself on your own “To do” list. Let's do this together so we can start 2023 with a plan to care for ourselves. I am so excited to share with you the Me in 2023 Challenge, launching on December 9! I will be with you live at 12:00 PST/3:00 EST on Instagram Dec. 9, Dec.16, Dec. 23 and for our grand finale Dec. 30 to share a plan to start 2023 with you on your own priority list. I will be giving out a self-care themed prize to to one of you who completes the challenge! Can't wait to start 2023 off with you! Resources from this episode: https://positivepsychology.com/shame-resilience-theory/#what-is-shame-resilience-theory https://brenebrown.com/articles/2013/01/15/shame-v-guilt/ https://brenebrown.com/book/atlas-of-the-heart/ https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-scientific-underpinnings-and-impacts-of-shame/

Do you listen to your gut feelings? I am trying to learn to listen to mine.  Oxana Ormonova, who is an Intuitive Coach, Clairvoyant, and Spiritual Healer and has worked for 20 years as a Hospitalist Physician, shares her experiences and guidance on how to be in compassion and not sympathy, trust our intuition, identify our purpose, live with joy, and create the life we want to live. Connect with Oxana at https://www.divinewellnessmd.com. Connect with me on Instagram @melanieisathree and let me know if this episode resonates. Today's Tool for Transformation is mindfulness through being in nature. Even if it's winter where you are, consider going outside and practice being in the moment.  Thanks so much for being here.

Is there someone in your life who changed your life or made it better in some way? In this week's short episode, we discuss one key concept: telling people what they mean to us. This simple act will change your life.  Today's Tool for Transformation is the song "Thank You" by Led Zeppelin. I encourage you to listen to it today and think about someone you love.  Resources for Today's episode:  Gratitude letters research:  https://www.researchgate.net/publication/7701091_Positive_Psychology_Progress_Empirical_Validation_of_Interventions Gratitude letters exercise: https://pharm.ucsf.edu/sites/pharm.ucsf.edu/files/residencies/media-browser/gratitude_practice_letter_2.pdf

Are you resilient? I bet you are.  There is a lot of discussion about resilience these days. What does it really mean? It turns out that resilience is complicated. Is resilience always a good thing? I went into this episode thinking one thing, and after researching this topic I have a different perspective.  One thing I did learn is that resilience can be learned and cultivated.  Is resilience the goal? What about meaning, joy, happiness? I touch on all of these topics in this podcast episode.  I would love to know what you think. Connect with me on Instagram @melanieisathree. And if you are ready to start living the life of your dreams, you will find my Five Step Guide here https://melaniewelch.ca/dream-life. Resources for today's episode: Brief Resilience Scale: https://gozen.com/wp-content/uploads/BRS.pdf Steven M. Southwick, George A. Bonanno, Ann S. Masten, Catherine Panter-Brick & Rachel Yehuda (2014) Resilience definitions, theory, and challenges: interdisciplinary perspectives, European Journal of Psychotraumatology, 5:1,  DOI: 10.3402/ejpt.v5.25338, https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.3402/ejpt.v5.25338?src=recsys https://hbr.org/2017/08/the-dark-side-of-resilience Tool for transformation:  Find the silver lining: https://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/finding_silver_linings?_ga=2.248192775.1019528538.1668731116-1107695839.1663441603 https://eerlab.berkeley.edu/pdf/papers/2010_Troy_Seeing_the_Silver_Lining.pdf

Have you had thoughts about making a change and living a life more true to your big dreams? Veronica Hanson did just that. She and her family are traveling, living, and learning all over the world. They have adopted minimalism, and now focus on experiences instead of possessions.  Connect with Veronica at veronicahanson.com or on Instagram @nomadveronica.  Resources referenced during this episode included:  Bronnie Ware: https://bronnieware.com/blog/regrets-of-the-dying/  Documentary by the Minimalists: https://www.theminimalists.com

Do you hold yourself back from sharing your opinions, and your authentic self because of fear of others' judgement? I have always worried so much about how others perceived me, to the point where I realized I was living my life for others. In this podcast I share a variety of ideas and resources that have helped me on my path to cultivating authenticity. I also share this week's Tool for Transformation. I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode. Connect with me on Instagram @melanieisathree, and I would be so appreciative if you would rate, review and subscribe to the podcast. Resources referenced in this episode: Bahns and Crandall work on “Like-minded others”:https://www.wellesley.edu/news/2016/february/node/83586 One option to complete a self check on Fear of Negative Evaluation: https://foundrybc.ca/quiz/social-anxiety-self-check/ Brené Brown on belonging:  https://brenebrown.com/book/braving-the-wilderness/ Savitsky et al on overestimating harsh judgement: https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2F0022-3514.81.1.44 Brené Brown square squad :https://brenebrown.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/DTL-Read-Along-Workbook_092221.pdf Luvvie Ajayi Jones: https://luvvie.org/ https://marthabeck.com/the-way-of-integrity/

Have you ever had an experience with a loved one who has passed? My daughter Raya joins me for this special Halloween episode to discuss the research she has done on After Death Experiences. We share some of our own stories as well. Have a safe and spooky Halloween! The resources Raya used were: https://www.adcrf.org/ https://near-death.com/study-of-evidential-after-death-communications/ https://www.lifeafterlife.com/blog/after-death-communication-adc-experiences-adcs

How is perfectionism impacting your life?  I used to think it was a compliment if I was called a perfectionist. Now I realize it was a way to keep me separate from my life, thinking it was preventing me from hurting. Instead it was keeping me from connecting fully with others. Listen to the end for today's Tool for transformation, some lyrics from the song Surrender, By Christina Perri. 

Dr. Cindy Landy is an award winning physician, breastfeeding expert, educator and leader. In this episode we discuss how she is building a new life by dreaming big, and then making it happen, one step at a time. We explore how she realized how caught up her identify was in being a doctor, and how she began to change that.  It wouldn't be a conversation with Cindy without a Barenaked Ladies lyric, today we explored a lyric from their song, What a Good Boy: "Afraid of change, afraid of staying the same, When temptation calls, We just look away." This conversation with Cindy has left me inspired and asking myself, "What have I been waiting to do that I can do now?" I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. Don't forget to subscribe, and rate and review the podcast. 

Learning to be kinder to myself has completely transformed what I see as possible for my life, as well as making my quality of life so much better. Self-compassion (a triad self-kindness, common humanity and mindfulness) is an evidence-based skill set that can be learned (see self-compassion.org for more information). In this episode, I share 5 steps to start to implement self-compassion.

Weight and weight loss take up much too large a proportion of my daily thoughts, yet it's a topic I find it hard to talk about. On this episode, I share my story, and what a large role my weight has played in my life and in my sense of self worth. I am learning to accept and love myself, and while it has been a difficult road to get here, I see so much possibility in finally shedding the belief that I have to work just a bit harder than everyone else to prove my worth because of my body being the way it is. I share my initial thoughts on a topic I am just starting to explore : intuitive eating. 

Ashley joins me for this episode where she shares her story of learning about herself through leadership, and the process of peeling back the onion and getting to know herself. You can find Ashley on Instagram @fierceashleymeyer and as the host of the Hero in the Mirror podcast. I hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I did. Don't forget to subscribe, rate and review. It means so much to me as a new podcaster.

I don't know about you, but growing up I always thought a midlife crisis was when men bought a new red sports car and got hair plugs. As I have approached midlife myself, the concept that this is a necessary developmental stage has resonated with me. In this episode I review some of what the evidence says about the midlife crisis, and share my own experience.  It seems to be a time when we begin to undo our previous beliefs and identity so we can devote more time and energy to living a life of purpose. I would love to know what your experience has been. 

Today I am joined by Body Positive Personal Trainer and Owner of Bloom Flourish Fitness (www.bloomflourishfitness.com) Samantha Bilby (Instagram @bloomflourishfitness). We dive into the topic of health and fitness with a focus on the internal transformation that comes with focusing on feeling good.  You can also check Sam out on her podcast, The Feel Good Daily Show.  I'd love to hear what you thought of this episode, connect with me on Instagram @melanieisathree. If you ready to start creating the life of your dreams, check out my 5 steps to creating your dream life https://melaniewelch.ca/dream-life. 

On this podcast, we explore the enneagram, it's history, and what it can and can't do. I share my experience of how the enneagram held up a mirror for me, leading me to make big changes.

In this episode, I talk about my own transformation from achieving my sense of worthiness through hustling and overfunctioning, to starting to set boundaries and take the first few tentative steps to living authentically.

Are you at the point in your life where you have started to question what your purpose is? Have you achieved all the things you had hoped for your life, maybe you have a family, and career success, but you still feel unfulfilled ? Do you keep these feelings to yourself because you are worried you'll be judged? If so, this podcast is a space for you. Here we connect, explore our life experiences, talk about how to unmake our view of ourselves, and build a life on the other side of transformation not guided by what other people think, but by what brings us joy and purpose. I hope you feel seen and heard here. I am a mom, doctor, and coach and I have been on a path of transformation since I came to the realization that after achieving all the things I had had on my to-do list for life, I wasn't satisfied. I wanted more meaning and joy out of life, and there was no way around it, I had to start by working on myself. I've always been fascinated with transformation and alchemy: making one thing into something new. And in this podcast, we'll be talking about inner transformation, healing those tender parts of ourselves to allow for something beautiful to emerge. Join me every Friday, and please share with others who might feel the same way. I look forward to spending this time with you and connecting with you.