In today's episode of the “Helping Families Be Happy” podcast, host Christopher Robins, Co-founder of Familius Publishing (A Husband, Father, Author, Fisherman, Backpacker, and Aspirational Musician based in the Central Valley of California) talks with guest Denise Marek (An internationally known Worry Management Expert and the creator of the CALM Methodology for worry-free-living. Besides, she is a Lecturer, Consultant, Writer, and Author of several books including CALM which is coming out on November 2022). Today Denise is talking about how to help mothers be calmer using the four-step process.
Episode Highlights
01:40 – Denise has been awarded the Toastmasters International Accredited Speaker award for professionalism, outstanding achievement, and public speaking. She was the first woman in Ontario to ever receive this honor.
04:00 - When you learn how to stop worrying, it's going to allow your parenting experience to be more present happier, and less stressed.
05:50 - If you're looking deeper into the CALM, the C stands for Challenging your assumptions, because most of the time we're worrying, or assuming that something we don't want to happen might happen, says Denise.
08:00 – Denise states there's nothing wrong with making assumptions, however, the trouble is when you make negative assumptions, that's when you can start worrying.
10:00 – The second step is to ask yourself, will it matter a year from now? Most of the things we spend our time worrying about are really insignificant in the grand scheme of things.
12:00 - A lot of worries are when you're thinking, and there's something very important to do. Take action to control the things that you can control and one of the things you can control is self-care strategies.
14:00 – Denise talks about mastering your mind by catching and correcting throwaway words.
16:10 - Sometimes you have to acknowledge that you are exhausted and there is a time and place to talk.
19:20 - It's important to let go of the things that you can't control. We can learn to control our responses to the things that are happening.
21:25 – You should not feel guilty if you're not doing your best, if you are not doing things appropriately, and are not productive.
23:30 – Denise mentions that when you're feeling worried, it takes away some of your enjoyment. So, do what you can to learn how to stop worrying now and if you feel like you can't do it for you and do it for your kids.
Three Key Points
It is important to learn how to stop worrying, because it's going to allow your parenting experience to be more pleasant, happier and less stressed. It is inappropriate if we're worried and thinking about things that could go wrong in the future. Once you have the tools to stop worrying, then you can share that poem with your children so that then when they grow up, they're will too learn to worry less and then it will pass it down for a generation. So, it really is a generational blessing to learn how to stop worrying as a mom.
Most of the time when we're worrying, we're putting ourselves in the future, all of the things that could go wrong, but in the present, everything's okay. So, in the present, remind yourself that all is well right now. That's just the way our bodies work, if you were actually in danger, your body sets you into motion, your brain will just jump to take you into action. When you're just imagining remind yourself, I'm safe right now.
We need to be on the lookout on the things that we automatically say to ourselves like, I can't do it or this isn't going right, etc. We need to pay attention to the words that we're speaking out because our minds will believe on these more. The things that we hear ourselves say, then the things we hear anyone else saying.
Tweetable Quotes
“It's called CALM, and it's an Acronym, help us to understand what it means.” - Christopher Robins
“There are some steps that you need to take to protect yourself, protect your family to protect your wealth, and that sort of thing.” - Denise Marek
“Let's talk about the first one that I even mentioned in terms of all of those wave questions.” - Christopher Robins
“When your environment is messy, or when your environment is unorganized, your brain sometimes can feel unorganized too.” - Denise Marek
“I'm just talking about being careful that that becomes a habit.” - Denise Marek
“My dad used to say do your best and forget the rest.” - Denise Marek
“I have nine children and I can tell you that they've all come prepackaged, and we've done our best to teach and train them.” - Christopher Robins
“Denise's book CALM for Moms comes out in November 2022, and visit her blog at www.denisemarec.com.” - Christopher Robins
Resources Mentioned
Helping Families be Happy Podcast Apple
Denise Marek Instagram Facebook YouTube
Podcast Editing
