Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship

"Many friends are entering the empty nest phase of their lives and some are really dreading it. Celebrities like Brooke Shields share on social media how they aren't ready. Planning ahead by embracing new hobbies and friendships can help change the focus during this major life shift." Those words are from guests Dara Collins and Donna Kassman, queens of mahjong and canasta. Maybe a game is not your thing, that's okay. There is a new (or old!) passion out there waiting for you. I started playing tennis again when I was 44. I'm 47 now and had not played since I was 15. It's been an immense joy and a surprising expansion of my social life too.Hobbies are an investment in your future retirement and empty nest social life. And socializing at all ages is important for combating loneliness and keeping your brain active. Did you love a sport or activity as a kid, but you've neglected that hobby (or any non-work, non-family passion) as an adult? This episode is for you!We have two messages today about hobbies and friendship: #1. Get involved in hobbies when you're still in a full and busy stage of life. You're planting seeds for later!#2. But it's never too late to get involved in a new hobby.Meet Dara Collins and Donna KassmanDara and Donna are two friends and former attorneys in South Florida who met when their now 23-year-olds were in Mommy and Me classes. In 2019, they created Mahjong Dice™ and began their small business with a beautiful roll on ModernMahjong.com. They expanded into many other mahjong and canasta items, including books on both subjects, and links and opportunities to find teachers and join tournaments. They also organize tournaments and teach throughout the year. Find Modern Mahjong on Instagram, on their Facebook page, and through their Mahjong Community Facebook group of over 47,000 people.  Send us a text* All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab. Let's connect over all things friendship! My Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram , TikTok, Twitter, Youtube, Threads JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

Episode #116: What a thrill to interview author and journalist Allison Gilbert, who met with Dr. Ruth Westheimer, of blessed memory, every week for a year during what would be the last year of Dr. Ruth's life. Together they worked on Dr. Ruth's final book, The Joy of Connections: 100 Ways to Beat Loneliness and Live a Happier and More Meaningful Life.Dr. Ruth was determined to help people suffering from loneliness and dysfunctional friendships, and I believe this book accomplishes that task. We just need everyone to read it! I underlined parts of every chapter and folded over MANY pages because I adore Dr. Ruth's straightforward, solution-oriented advice.For this episode, I forced myself to choose, what in my opinion, are the top 8 no-nonsense Dr. Ruth friendship nuggets of pure wisdom I'm certain will help you with your friendships the most. They're already helping me since finishing the book and recording this episode with Allison, who so beautifully represents and embodies Dr. Ruth's words.MEET ALLISON GILBERT: Allison Gilbert is an Emmy Award-winning journalist and author. She is co-author of The Joy of Connections: 100 Ways to Beat Loneliness and Live a Happier and More Meaningful Life with world-renowned therapist Dr. Ruth Westheimer. Find Allison on Instagram, Facebook, and X.The two NYT articles mentioned in the episode:"Dr. Ruth Saved People's Sex Lives. Now She Wants to Cure Loneliness." "Long After ‘Sexually Speaking,' Dr. Ruth Taught Me About Friendship"  The top 8 no-nonsense friendship tips from Dr. Ruth that Allison and I covered in much more detail in the episode are Send us a text* All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab. Let's connect over all things friendship! My Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram , TikTok, Twitter, Youtube, Threads JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

Episode #115: Today's "Quick Friendship Tip" is about how to capture the attitude and spirit of that special "freshman energy" apparent on any college campus in the first three weeks of school when making new friends as an adult.There is something real happening in that freshman year, specifically the first three weeks, that is magical for friend making. I saw it while dropping off my son for his freshmen year of college in August, and I remember it from my own freshmen year.  I'm grateful to former guest, Gretchen Rubin, (who also recently dropped off a child for freshmen year) for sharing a 2015 NYT article in her newsletter by Nicholas A Christakis called "Making Friends in New Places." Christakis described in more detail what exactly is happening in those first three weeks. I did not imagine it just a few months ago during the initial college move in days. While adult life cannot replicate those three weeks in exactly the same way, I have some ideas about how we can take what's essential about that vulnerable time and use it to our advantage as adults when we're in periods of having to make new friends or just wanting to get out of a friend rut. Send us a text* All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab. Let's connect over all things friendship! My Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram , TikTok, Twitter, Youtube, Threads JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

Do you know your Enneagram (personality) type and how your core fears and desires impact your friendships? I understood very little about anything Enneagram related before my interview with Christina S. Wilcox, author of Take Care of Your Friends: An Enneagram Guide to Interpersonal Relationships. I still have a lot to learn! Consider this episode an introduction to the Enneagram and a reminder that each of us is wired differently through nature, nurture, and life's experiences. Understanding ourselves on a deep level helps us be better friends because it gives us more patience and grace for others. The Enneagram is one tool towards that goal.There are many resources online about Enneagram tests and more. I took a free quiz here. Please note: I have no idea how this site compares to others! Meet Christina S. Wilcox: Christina is a 26-year-old author, mental health advocate, enneagram expert, and creative in Denver, Colorado. You may recognize her from her first book Take Care of Your Type: An Enneagram Guide to Self-Care, or from one of her Instagram graphics created for over 90K followers. Find Christina on her website, her podcast, her Youtube channel, and of course on Instagram.Send us a text* All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab. Let's connect over all things friendship! My Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram , TikTok, Twitter, Youtube, Threads JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

Episode #113: So, you've unintentionally hurt your friend's feelings. Or, your friend hurt your feelings, likely not on purpose. My wise mom joins me in this replay episode about forgiveness---asking for forgiveness and wanting apologies from others. We also discussed grudges, forgiving but not forgetting, personal stories of our own pettiness and others' pettiness, and more. LINKS MENTIONED:The 20 questions my husband uses for self-reflection around Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. The article I wrote for Kveller in 2014, “Waiting For an Apology That Will Never Come”The article I wrote for The Jewish Daily Forward in 2013, “The Benefit of the Doubt for the New Year”Other episodes featuring my mom: The Friend Who Will Only TextWhen Friends Ask Questions You Don't Want to AnswerWidowhood and FriendshipTwo quotes by Maggie Smith in her book, Keep Moving: “Maybe we say ‘holding a grudge' because that kind of resentment is a heavy thing you have to wrap your arms around to carry. Holding it weighs you down, not the other person. Set it down anytime. Right now, for instance. Keep moving.”“Expect that what you tend to will grow. Expect that what you feed with your care and attention, what you shine your light on, will thrive. Choose wisely. Keep moving.”Quote from my mom on grudges:“Well, you've heard this before. People say that holding a grudge weighs you down, not the other person. So that's how forgiveness is tied into grudge holding. If you can forgive somebody and keep moving forward, it's much better for you psychologically.” Send us a text* All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab. Let's connect over all things friendship! My Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram , TikTok, Twitter, Youtube, Threads JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

This week's friendship topic is the frenzy of college admissions and how it affects friendships between teens and how it potentially affects friendships between those teens' parents, too. Most importantly, we discuss how to approach the college admissions world with a level head!Meet Kate Proger:Kate Proger, is a college planning consultant and admissions expert. With degrees in both psychology and educational testing, as well as executive function coach training, Kate has helped hundreds of students find the university that is their perfect fit. (We discuss at length that there is more than one "right" fit.) Find Kate on her site: Kate Proger College Consulting.We discussed:Book mentioned---Where You Go Is Not Who You Will Be: An Antidote to the College Admissions Mania by Frank Bruni Sharing information or not about where you're applying--privacy vs. intimacyUnderstanding that everyone has reasons for their list (budgets, distance, etc.). We cannot assume we know what's going on behind closed doors Being happy for your friends (or your friends' kids) when admissions decisions arriveThe potential for parents to make some new friends in this next stage of parentingNew social opportunities for college students to seek more of what you liked socially in high school and less of what you didn't enjoyThe reality of kids "soiling the nest" before they leave or sometimes the exact opposite happens (glorifying the next)And more!Send us a text* All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab. Let's connect over all things friendship! My Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram , TikTok, Twitter, Youtube, Threads JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

Episode: #110  It's another letter spotlight episode! This week's anonymous letter is from a woman with two friends who never ask about her. She's fed up doing all the listening and none of the talking. She wants to know how to handle this friendship dynamic and whether other Dear Nina listeners deal with this same issue. Let us know in our facebook group, Dear Nina: The Group. In The Letter Spotlight series I'll be reading one anonymous letter from my inbox every six weeks or so and sharing my answer. Last month's letter was about issues between sisters-in-law. Want to send in a letter for the show or the newsletter? You can do that at https://ninabadzin.com/dearnina/.Send us a text* All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab. Let's connect over all things friendship! My Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram , TikTok, Twitter, Youtube, Threads JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

Episode #110: "Neurodivergent friending" Thrilled to welcome Dr. James F. Richardson, author of Our Worst Strength: American Individualism and Its Hidden Discontents, who explains how his neurodivergent friend difficulties inspired a deeper exploration of, "how our American value of self-reliant individualism encourages us to be way too independent, undermining many relationships, including our friendships." Listeners will appreciate James's sense of humor, heart, and practical tips for understanding each of our friends as individuals and considering the people in our community who could use an invitation.James, like many GenX neurodivergent people, had no diagnoses until later in adult life. He says, "In writing my recent book, I step back and connect disparate laments in public discourse (weak community, weak friendships, weak family ties, shallow approaches to fun and dating, junk food, impulse-driven diets) back to our very American, hyper-individualistic approach to life in general. We are settlers on our own personal frontiers, I like to say. We curate, personalize, and edit everything. And it's not working out too well for many of us—this unstructured, de-ritualized life of infinite opportunity and lonely stumbling. We try hard to curate our social worlds as executive editor instead of letting them build through giving and receiving our time organically. I was the worst at this in my twenties. I curated an austere, monkish life that was not good for me or anyone. Monks have far more community than I experienced! And more friends!"  Meet James F. Richardson:James F. Richardson is a Ph.D. cultural anthropologist who has studied American society for twenty years as a market research consultant. Recently, the author of a new nonfiction book – Our Worst Strength: American Individualism and Its Hidden Discontents - questions our approach to individualism as a way of life. He lives in Tucson, Arizona, where he writes a weekly Substack — Homo Imaginari — for a growing international readership.Send us a text* All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab. Let's connect over all things friendship! My Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram , TikTok, Twitter, Youtube, Threads JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

Episode #109: Let's say you know that a friendship has run its course, but the friend has done nothing wrong. How do we go about distancing from a friend or ending a friendship? How do we process it when we feel a friend withdrawing? How do we negotiate conflict or transitions that are going to come up in many friendships?"Quiet quitting" is the latest term for withdrawing from a friendship, phasing out, or disengaging completely. In this episode with the insightful Dr. Miriam Kirmayer, a clinical psychologist in Montreal who specializes in friendship, we discuss why someone might choose the strategy of "quiet quitting" for fading away from a friend.Meet Dr. Miriam Kirmayer: Dr. Miriam Kirmayer is a clinical psychologist, leading friendship expert, and one of the most influential speakers on human connection and social support. Find free friendship resources on her site and follow her on Instagram and LinkedIn. We discussed:Most people have been on both sides of the "quiet quitting" equationHow quiet quitting differs from ghostingWhen quiet quitting is a good strategy and when it is notWhy we are both strongly against using "quiet quitting" to test a friendFriends cannot read our minds!The struggle many people have to initiate plans, but respecting friends' strengths (and not expecting friends to do things exactly the way we do them)Quiet quitting has its place, but it can also be a sign of an inability to have a vulnerable or direct conversation because of a lack of practice or opportunity to do so.Downgrades in friendships vs. dissolutionsHow to avoid burning a bridge with friends (or old friends)"Quiet quitting works until it doesn't." You might have to be more direct at some point. We discussed some kind ways to do so. Send us a Text Message.* All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab. Let's connect over all things friendship! My Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram , TikTok, Twitter, Youtube, Threads JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

Episode #108: Talking to friends about money has always been a taboo topic. What if, instead, discussing money with friends could deepen a friendship? Money can be an enormous issue between friends, which is why I'm revisiting my conversation with Shondaland.com staff writer, Mia Brabham Nolan. We discussed ways to make talking about finances with friends less awkward. Some of the solutions apply to any topic that's normally private and therefore tough to handle in friendships. Keeping so many topics taboo in a friendship can make the relationship feel surface and lacking in many ways. It might be worth making finances an "approved" topic. We discussed: Our nostalgia about spending time with friends in less expensive waysSplitting the bill with friends (or not)The expense of being in a friend's wedding or traveling to a friend's event The expectations around baby showers and other eventsPlanning group trips and the budget issues involved The awkwardness in talking about money, but also the opportunity. These honest discussions can deepen a friendship and encourage openness about other topics, too.   The two pieces of Mia's in Shondaland.com we specifically discussed in depth:"How Much Are Your Friendships Costing You""The Art of Friendship: How to Open Up About Money"Meet Mia Brabham NolanMia Brabham Nolan is currently a staff writer at Shondaland.com. She pens the series "Joy Makers" and "The Art of Friendship." Her debut book, Note to Self, which is a short collection of life lessons, is in the hands of readers all over the world.  Instagram, Twitter, bymiabrabham.comSend us a Text Message.* All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab. Let's connect over all things friendship! My Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram , TikTok, Twitter, Youtube, Threads JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

Episode #107: I rarely cover family relationships on Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship, but I consistently receive letters about sisters-in-law so I realized it was time to broach the topic. Let me first say, I have a wonderful relationship with my sisters-in-law. I'm lucky! I was still able to take what I know about getting along (or not) with friends and relate it to the sister-in-law problem that listeners and readers keep writing to me about.  In this new series, The Letter Spotlight, I'll be sharing one letter every six weeks or so and sharing my answer. The way I answer this month's letter about sisters-in-law also applies to roommates, neighbors, and cousins---relationships that aren't quite friendships but could be (and don't have to be for a successful and happy connection).  Want to send in a letter for the show or the newsletter? You can do that at https://ninabadzin.com/dearnina/.Send us a Text Message.* All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab. Let's connect over all things friendship! My Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram , TikTok, Twitter, Youtube, Threads JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

Episode #106: Welcome to Dear Nina, Conversations About Friendship. Today is a tough topic, and I'm not going to promise you that we come to an easy solution at the end. The fallout from losing the friendship of an entire group is a heartache that takes tremendous time to heal. Today's guest, is still in that healing process. I spoke to writer and podcaster, Meghan Judge, about her experience being dropped by an entire group of friends in a small community. This happened in her adult life (and not that long ago). Meghan takes us through her story of becoming friends with this group, all that happened when the friendships fell apart, and how she's taking care of her mental health now. With compassion and humor, Meghan gives hope to others who have experienced the same pain. Note: the David Sedaris essay we discussed is "Consider the Stars" from Dress Your Family in Corduroy and DenimMeet Meghan Judge:Meghan is a trauma survivor who covers PTSD, mental health, and suicide prevention on her show Judging Meghan. Through interviews with other survivors, she has learned that there is a way out. "From recovering to surviving and thriving, we all have the strength to come out to the other side." Follow Meghan on Instagram @judgingmeghanSend us a Text Message.* All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab. Let's connect over all things friendship! My Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram , TikTok, Twitter, Youtube, Threads JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

Episode #105: After a trip to Chicago to say goodbye to my childhood house, I appreciated how even one meal with your long distance friends means so much. You need time with your long distance friends, but not as much time as you think. You don't need full weekends away, though of course those are nice. You don't need long retreats in fancy resorts or expensive rental houses.Yes, it's true that with extra time you can cover more ground, but it's still worth making an effort to hangout in person even for one meal, one walk, or one excursion. This sounds obvious, but so many people are waiting for the perfect time and life conditions to spend time with their long distance friends. Don't wait. Even a little bit of time goes a long way.In this short episode, I also celebrated three years of podcasting, announced two new behind-the-scenes team members and two new types of episodes that will appear regularly in the podcast feed.Send us a Text Message.* All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab. Let's connect over all things friendship! My Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram , TikTok, Twitter, Youtube, Threads JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

Episode #104: Jill Smokler is the creator of Scary Mommy, one of the most original and successful mom blogs ever. She was also the first mom blogger to sell her site to a major media company. But Dear Nina is not a business podcast, and this is not a discussion about business regrets or rebranding. Jill was recently diagnosed with brain cancer. And since Jill is also my real-life friend from college, this episode is personal. Jill and I had a candid conversation about her diagnosis, her decision to step away from her post-Scary Mommy work, and the ways friendship and community have become so important in this part of her life. Jill also had specific advice for anyone with a friend who is diagnosed with cancer---what is most helpful, what is least helpful, and everything in between. For updates on Jill (and for her humor and candor!) follow her on Instagram and Threads --both @jillsmokler.Links mentioned:The recent today.com piece on Jill's diagnosis and the rise of Scary MommyJill's books: Confessions of a Scary Mommy and Scary Mommy's Guide to Surviving the HolidaysShe's Got Issues: the podcast and online magazine Jill foundedMy two visits on She's Got Issues: "Friendship-- Mistakes & Hard Lessons Learned" and "Friendship Breakups: Accepting When a Friendship is Over"Jill's previous visit to Dear Nina: "Old School Blogging Friendships"Kate Bowler's book, No Cure For Being Human (And Other Truths I Need to Hear)Send us a Text Message.* All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab. Let's connect over all things friendship! My Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram , TikTok, Twitter, Youtube, Threads JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

Episode #103: Friendship meet-cutes, the perfect jacket or blazer, fashion emergencies solved by our friends, making the first friendship move, and more. I'm talking to Rachel Levy Lesser of Life's Accessories: The Podcast for a fun crossover episode. We covered:Some personal friendship "meet-cutes" that mean more to us than our former romantic meet-cutes. Yes, our stories include blazers and jackets. The leather jackets in my best friend Taryn's closet that I coveted as a teen.The very special friends who send you fashion links to help you in your fashion emergencies or just because they're thinking about you.Making the first friendship move no matter how awkward it can be to put yourself out thereKnowing that our personalities (and therefore being friends with us) are not for everyone Meet Rachel Levy Lesser:Rachel was the host for this episode! She's the woman behind the mic at Life's Accessories: The Podcast. Rachel is also the author of Life's Accessories, A Memoir (And Fashion Guide) Her articles and essays have appeared all over the internet and in various anthologies, and she's one of my favorite new friends in the past few years. (Yes, I added that to her official bio.)Find Life's Accessories on Instagram and Facebook.Send us a Text Message.* All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab. Let's connect over all things friendship! My Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram , TikTok, Twitter, Youtube, Threads JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

Episode #102: Shasta Nelson, friendship expert extraordinaire, joins me to discuss how and why to be honest with friends when we're upset with them. Our friendships CAN survive tough conversations, hurt feelings, and conflict. AND, our overall social health will improve when we learn to get through the hard stuff with our friends. Meet Shasta Nelson:Shasta Nelson is a leading expert and author on social relationships, speaking across the country and facilitating events to build belongingness and human connection. She's a contributor to the Harvard Business Review and has been quoted in several publications, including Forbes, the New York Times, and TIME magazine; and she has been interviewed live on dozens of TV shows, such as the Today Show and Steve Harvey Show. Shasta's new podcast is Friendtimacy: More Fulfilling Friendships.Some of the topics we covered:Conflict can be a portal to closeness once issues are addressed.Expressing a problem to friends gives them the opportunity to explain themselves. If you're not going to bring up your hurt feelings or your issue, it's on you to work on forgiveness even though your friend hasn't been given the opportunity to ask for forgiveness.When to let things go vs. when to be direct with your friendVulnerability is important in friendships, which includes being honest with friends when you're upset with them and letting friends know where you're sensitive in general.When we feel lonely, scared, or nervous we look for reasons to confirm those feelings.The issue of parents overprotecting their kids from hurt feelings for so long that even into young adulthood their children cannot handle even the tiniest bit of friendship conflict.Friendship is a major investment in time, energy, and emotion. Being honest with a friend about an issue you're having with the friendship protects the time "investment" you've already made.How writing and talking about friendships affects Shasta's friendships (and I answered that one too).When a friendship is no longer worth fighting forTough conversations get a little easier with practice and strengthen your health!Send us a Text Message.* All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab. Let's connect over all things friendship! My Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram , TikTok, Twitter, Youtube, Threads JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

Send us a Text Message.Episode #101: It's the first official "ask me anything" episode in honor of 100 episodes! With questions to my anonymous inbox and through my Facebook group (Dear Nina: The Group), or through Instagram and TikTok-- both @dearninafriendship.I had a great time answering questions and I couldn't even get to everything so I will keep doing these every so often. Some of the topics I covered in under 30 minutes:Be more direct with friendsAwkwardness after ending a friendshipFriendship trios, rectanglesLetting friends hangout without youDon't assume friends operate like you do“Best” friends as a difficult termTeens who never make plansNot ditching certain friends for the "popular" friend Friends who dismiss a topic that you're trying to discuss Some of my friendship historyAnd more!Links mentioned in the episode: Reconnecting with an Ex-Friend: Rebecca KotokWhen Your Friend's Kid is Being Mean to Your Kid: Taryn KesselFriends Will Hang Out Without You: Taryn Kessel* All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab. Let's connect over all things friendship! My Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram , TikTok, Twitter, Youtube, Threads JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

Send us a Text Message.Episode #100: They say camp friends are the best friends. Why? At camp there are no screens, you take risks, parents aren't breathing down your back, and the magic ingredients of endless hours + constant proximity make it possible to create intense, close bonds with kids your age. In this special episode of Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship, I have voicemails about campers and former campers ages 15-50, and I have a fantastic in-depth discussion about the highs (and lows) of camp friendships with author, Dara Levan, whose new novel, It Could Be Worse, features an important camp bond in a character's otherwise traumatic childhood. Meet Dara Levan: Dara, a Miami-based writer, is the creator and host of Every Soul Has a Story, a podcast in which she interviews inspiring people from around the globe. Find Dara on Instagram @dara.levan. Some of the topics we covered:Not every aspect of camp is good-- cliques are an issue at camp just like everywhere else, maybe more so.Single sex vs co-ed campsJonathan Haidt's new book, The Anxious Generation, discusses the dangers of a screen-based childhood and a childhood with no autonomy. Camp helps solve both of these issues, at least while kids are there. Conflicts at camp have to be dealt with by the kids, with some help from staff. Parents aren't there to fix every social disappointment, though they definitely try now more than ever.Are pictures ruining camp?Are counselors sending news home (with their phones) ruining the "camp bubble"?The word "intense" came up in every voicemail--in a good way.At camp you have rare access to older role modelsThe humility that's developed through learning so many new skills and not always being the best"Lifelong friends" came up in several voicemails as well as "camp friends are the best friends."* All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab. Let's connect over all things friendship! My Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram , TikTok, Twitter, Youtube, Threads JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

Send us a Text Message.Episode #99: Welcome to the 14-day friendship (mindset) cleanse, brainchild of previous Dear Nina guest, Anna Goldfarb, whose book Modern Friendship:  How to Nurture Our Most Valued Connections, is finally out in the world. Don't feel put off by the word, "cleanse." This discussion is about reconsidering how you're approaching friendships and how you're treating your closest friends. (And that particular list shouldn't be too long.) By the end of this episode, you will have a healthier frame for thinking through your friendships, and you'll know why I became friends with Anna after her visit to the podcast almost two years ago when we talked about lopsided friendships. Meet Anna Goldfarb: Anna Goldfarb is the Philadelphia-based journalist and author  of Modern Friendship:  How to Nurture Our Most Valued Connections. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, Vice, TIME, The Cut and more. Follow Anna on twitter @AnnaGoldfarb and on Instagram.* All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab. Let's connect over all things friendship! My Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram , TikTok, Twitter, Youtube, Threads JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

Send us a Text Message.Episode #98: There are five questions I want us to be asking ourselves to get a sense of where our friendships stand. Even if you're not a student or a parent, thinking in school months is a helpful measure of time. Maybe you got some grades. Maybe your kids got grades. Maybe at work you got an evaluation. It's also worth your time to evaluate your friendships and give yourself an honest assessment. And if you DO have kids of any age all the way through college, this is a good short episode to send them. I'm saying "us" because I'm here assessing right along with you as I'm trying to be the friend I want to be and have friendships in my life that feel fulfilling.The 5 questions also make good journal prompts. Each question deserves more time than I can give them on the podcast. I've personally found as a writing teacher (and a lifelong writing student) that putting pen to paper or fingers to the keyboard brings unexpected answers to the surface. The questions are listed below so that you don't have to write them down while listening.Full show notes with the 5 questions listed and other related links can be found here: https://ninabadzin.com/2024/05/27/5-questions-to-evaluate-your-friendships/* All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab. Let's connect over all things friendship! My Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram , TikTok, Twitter, Youtube, Threads JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

Send us a Text Message.Episode #97: Invisible disabilities can turn into a source of shame and unknowingly get in the way of friendships. What is an invisible disability? It's any condition that is not obvious, perhaps even to the closest of friends. Some examples are depression, anxiety, other mental health diagnoses, as well as physical conditions such as chronic pain, fatigue, and too many other examples to list where symptoms are felt but not seen.This week's guest, Estelle Erasmus, shares her experience with genetic hearing loss that began in her 20s and stayed a secret long after she started wearing hearing aids. In her piece for Shondaland.com, "I'm Learning to Listen in New Ways" Estelle shares the stress of keeping that secret from friends and the deep relief of telling the truth. I'm grateful to share her perspective with Dear Nina listeners.  Meet Estelle:Estelle Erasmus, author of Writing That Gets Noticed: Find Your Voice, Become a Better Storyteller, Get Published (June 2023), is a professor of writing at NYU, the host of the Freelance Writing Direct podcast, and a contributing editor for Writer's Digest. She has appeared on Good Morning America and has had her articles discussed on The View. She received the 2023 NYU School of Professional Studies Teaching Excellence Award, a 2023 Zibby Award for Best Book for the Writer, is in Poets & Writers “Best Books for Writers”, and is an American Society of Journalists and Authors award winner. Learn more at www.EstelleSErasmus.com (and receive a free pitching guide). Also, follow Estelle on Instagram, TikTok, and X, and sign up for her Substack of craft advice, stories and opportunities at estelleserasmus.substack.com* All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab. Let's connect over all things friendship! My Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram , TikTok, Twitter, Youtube, Threads JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

Episode #96: I have been a Gretchen Rubin fan since 2009 when I read The Happiness Project the week it came out. Who could resist that cover and concept? And I cannot believe this, but I got to discuss my favorite topic, friendship, with Gretchen Rubin on Dear Nina. In celebration of Gretchen's paperback release of Life in Five Senses: How Exploring the Senses Got Me Out of My Head and Into the World. I am replaying our episode from about a year ago. I found my favorite parts of the episode and put it together.  We covered:The art of listening for what is being said and what is not being said in conversations with friends.The sound, sight, and touch of mixtapes plus our attempt to hatch a new business idea. The sound and touch of mahjongThe joy of tasting partiesThe nostalgia inherent in taste or even discussing foods we used to eat with friendsThe distracting sight of friends checking their phones and watchesThe sight of friends' faces and the emotions we read on their facesMaking plans to see sights with friends and the memories createdHugging friends! (I've gotten better at this since we first spoke.)And we took a quick dip into The Four Tendencies for me to share my husband being the Upholder of all Upholders.Take the "most neglected sense" quiz here.  Meet Gretchen RubinGretchen Rubin is one of today's most influential observers of happiness and human nature. She's the author of many books, including the blockbuster New York Times bestsellers Life in Five Senses, Outer Order, Inner Calm; The Four Tendencies; Better Than Before; and The Happiness Project. Her books have sold more than 3.5 million copies worldwide, in more than thirty languages. She hosts the top-ranking, award-winning podcast “Happier with Gretchen Rubin,” where she explores practical solutions for living a happier life. Raised in Kansas City, she lives in New York City with her husband and two daughters. You can find everything you need at gretchenrubin.com. * All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab. Let's connect over all things friendship! My Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram , TikTok, Twitter, Youtube, Threads JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

Episode #95: Oversharing, overtalking, undertalking, undersharing, small talk, deep talks, mismatches in vulnerability, and the art of listening---these are the tricky friendship topics we are dealing with today. I'm joined by Micaela Blei, a GrandSLAM-winning storyteller and former founding Director of Education at The Moth.Topics we covered:There is no right or wrong in how much to talk or how much to share. The words "over" or "under" signal a potential mismatch in conversation styles. The connection between overtalking and over-explaining (the fear of being misunderstood).Ways to sense when someone is ready to move beyond small talk.How the dynamics of managing new friendship conversations is similar to flirtingSome lessons from storytelling include: an awareness of "airtime," listening attentively (no phone), not confusing your friends for your audience. It takes work to share with friends, and it takes work to listen.Flexibility between deep and casual conversations is a sign of true intimacy in a friendship.Learning not to take responsibility for the success of every conversation.  (That one was for me to work on myself!)Meet Micaela Blei, PhD: Micaela has been teaching, studying and performing true, personal storytelling worldwide since 2012. She is a two-time Moth GrandSLAM winner and former founding Director of Education at The Moth. She's currently the visiting professor of Storytelling at the Salt Institute for Documentary Studies in Portland, Maine, and a story editor for history, comedy and true crime shows at Wondery.Micaela's own storytelling can be heard on The Moth Radio Hour and podcast, Family Ghosts, Risk! and many others. Her Audible Original memoir, “You Will Not Recognize Your Life,” will be released on Audible later this year. Find out more, and hear more stories, at micaelablei.com. * All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab. Let's connect over all things friendship! My Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram , TikTok, Twitter, Youtube, Threads JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

Episode #94: Everyone runs into bumps in their friendships. Trust me, I have a decade's worth of writing material from readers and listeners to prove that point. But when are friendship issues getting to the point where addressing them with a therapist is highly recommended? I'm joined by award-winning psychotherapist, Roxanne Francis, who responded brilliantly and graciously to the five areas of friendship dilemmas I hear about most often. Meet Roxanne Francis, MSW, RSW: Roxanne is a Registered Social Worker and psychotherapist.  She is the CEO of Francis Psychotherapy & Consulting Services, where she runs a busy group therapy practice with her team. She is also a keynote speaker, leadership coach and corporate consultant who addresses topics related to women's issues, race & equity, mental health, parenting, and wellness at work.  The five categories of friendship issues we covered:#1. You feel you have no friends.#2. You struggle to keep friends because friends are ghosting you.#3. You struggle to keep friends because you often cut people out of your life.#4. The majority of your friendships are happening through a screen.#5. Protecting your boundaries has become extreme, making it difficult to connect with friends and community.* All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab. Let's connect over all things friendship! My Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram , TikTok, Twitter, Youtube, Threads JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

A quick conversation about the subtle hurts that can make friendship difficult. It's the small slights I cover on Dear Nina in general, not the giant betrayals.Why? The big "stuff" is much more black and white, and we don't need much conversation around whether to stay friends.Today I also have a big instagram tip if you're looking to change your Instagram handle. I changed mine to @dearninafriendship. Instagram doesn't make it all that simple if you have tons of links in the world leading to your old handle (which I do). I explain it all in the episode.LINKS MENTIONED:I was guest on the We're Not Fine podcast with Dr. Talia Jackson and Doug Jensen. "Your Friend Hurt You, Is Your Friendship Salvageable?"I was also a guest on The AWEd Life Podcast. "Expanding Our Friendships in Different Stages of Life" (with a big focus on midlife and early empty nester life)My friend Emily of The Connected Mom Life gave me the positive push and advice to change my instagram handle to @dearninafriendship.* All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab. Let's connect over all things friendship! My Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram , TikTok, Twitter, Youtube, Threads JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

Episode #92: For anyone who has been hurt by a friend--or a group of friends--recently or in the past, this 14-minute episode is for you. It's a solo episode that came from my reaction to a TikTok video I saw by a woman who was left out of a group trip years ago and has decided she will never trust anyone with her friendship again. Other titles I considered: (and all relate to this 14-minute episode!)Not All Women Are Vicious Don't Let Being Left Out Dictate Your Future FriendshipsDon't Overly Focus on the Friends Who Rejected YouYou (and your kids) Will Survive Being Left Out There is a Natural Drifting From Friends at Each Age and Stage of LifeIn other words, I covered all of the above in this one. LINKS MENTIONED:The TikTok video I'm reacting to in this episode “Why Big Friend Groups Often Fail and Helping Kids Handle Friendship Conflict” with Dr. Lisa Damour“I'm Just Not Into This Friendship” with Ruchi Koval“Friends Will Hang Out Without You” with Taryn Kessel“Difficult Teen Friendships and Parent Involvement” with Stephanie Sprenger“Every Friendship Starts or Deepens With an Act of Bravery” with Amy Weatherly and Jess JohnstonQUOTES FROM THE EPISODE: "There's so much focus on who wasn't interested, who drifted away, who left, who left you out, who left your kid out. Let's focus on who said yes. That is where our energy should be.”“I don't think it's a good idea to ‘normalize,' to use an extremely overused word on the internet, turning our lives upside down when friends do things without us. If we're going to normalize anything, let's normalize that friends WILL hang out without us. Just like we sometimes want to hang out in smaller groups or with just one or two people.”* All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab. Let's connect over all things friendship! My Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram , TikTok, Twitter, Youtube, Threads JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

Episode #91: Dr. Lisa Damour's latest book, The Emotional Lives of Teenagers , is out in paperback. On this episode we revisit the best nuggets of my previous conversation with Dr. Lisa, focusing on teen and tween friend groups and all of the anxiety that goes along with parenting a teen who is dealing with not being in a group. We cover teens not liking their place in a group, wishing they had a group, wishing they had a smaller group, and so on. We also discuss the reality that every kid will be left out and will likely leave out others, and we touch on what "mental health" actually means. (It doesn't mean feeling good all the time.) Finally, we spend a good deal of time on helping teens manage conflict with friends.  Dr. Lisa Damour is a renowned psychologist and the NYT  bestselling author of Untangled, Under Pressure, The Emotional Lives of Teenagers, and the co-host of the Ask Lisa Podcast. Find Dr. Lisa on Instagram and Twitter.Topics We Covered: Dr. Lisa with Dax and Monica on Armchair ExpertTeens will get left out and leave others. Friend groups seem overly formal to adults these days, but it's a reality for teens. Lisa said, "If your kid has one or two good buddies, leave it alone. It's perfect. If your kid has a large friendship group, do not assume that anyone is going out of their way to cause trouble. It is the nature of those larger groups."In groups of over four, it's impossible that every person will like each other equally. If your teen has a few close friends, they have everything they need for a positive social life. Reassure them that we have good data showing that the least stressed kids have one or two good friends.Understanding that mental health has come to be equated with feeling good or relaxed or happy. These are all wonderful things, but they're not what mental health is. Dr. Damour explains that being mentally healthy is about having feelings that fit the circumstance, then managing those feelings, even if those are negative emotions.Learning the difference between uncomfortable and unmanageable.Helping teens make the most of the friendship strife they face by learning how to handle conflict. This will serve them for the rest of their lives.* All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab. Let's connect over all things friendship! My Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram , TikTok, Twitter, Youtube, Threads JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

Episode #90: Many of us say we would be there for our friends in an emergency, but that's often theory until it's tested. Not everyone can rise to the occasion. And crisis is a time when the friends you want around you and the ones you may need to leave behind (even for just a while) becomes very clear. Kelly Lang, co-author with her husband, Mike, of The Miracle Child: Traumatic Brain Injury and Me is a brain injury survivor and caregiver to her daughter who sustained a traumatic brain injury in 2001, in her early 30s, after the family's minivan was hit and pushed through an intersection by a reckless driver. Kelly takes us through the days after the accident and the way friends and family supported her family then and throughout the years. Meet Kelly Lang: Kelly Lang co-leads the Brain Injury Association of America's Advisory Council and serves on the Virginia Brain Injury Advisory Council. Her advocacy experience includes working with the National Center on Advancing Person-Centered Practices and Systems' Brain Injury Learning Collaborative and serving as a member of the Traumatic Brain Injury Leadership Group and the Person-Centered Advisory Group. She has been the Keynote speaker at a number of state brain injury conferences and conducted workshops and webinars about brain injury and advocacy. Kelly is also a communications trainer with INOVA Health Systems. Kelly and her husband, Mike, created a website https://www.themiraclechild.org/ educating others about brain injury.Find Kelly: LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, Threads* All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab. Let's connect over all things friendship! My Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram & TikTok & Twitter JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

Episode #89: It's never too late to address negative patterns in our friendships or any relationship. Today's guest, author Christie Tate, author of B.F.F.: A Memoir of Friendship Lost and Found, set out to break decades of unhealthy cycles in her friendships. Do you think you "suck at friendship" as Christie thought before she started this process? There is hope! Christie is here to prove it. We covered: Abolishing a school cafeteria mentality from our adult friendshipsAiming for friendship circles (expansive ) vs. triangles (hard edges)Recognizing how jealousy and envy alters our behavior towards othersKnowing when we're asking friends for too much assuranceChanging from a scarcity mindset to one of abundanceDeveloping compassion for the "it" person (child or adult)Ghosting and being ghostedOwning our ambitions and desires in order to combat competition with friendsMeet Christie Tate: Christie's latest memoir is, B.F.F.: A Memoir of Friendship Lost and Found. Her previous memoir, Group: How One Therapist and a Circle of Strangers Saved My Life,  was a New York Times bestseller and a Reese Witherspoon book club pick. You can find links to her many published essays and her writing workshops on her website. Find Christie's Substack newsletter here, and find her on Instagram @Christieotate.* All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab. Let's connect over all things friendship! My Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram & TikTok & Twitter JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

Episode #88: Managing differences of opinion with friends can get tricky. An obvious area is politics, but smaller differences also get between friends, like parenting decisions. Examples: parents who give their kids a phone and social media years before the other friend; public vs. private school; where you live; how you vacation---those are not as divisive as politics, but it's an ongoing difference in your choices. Do we allow our differences to become a strength in a friendship or a weakness? I advocate for strength, which requires empathy for the next person.Here to talk about developing empathy and managing these potential differences is therapist and author, Emily Locker. Emily's debut novel, Running Mates, is a modern day Romeo and Juliet and one of the best fictional versions I've read of friends with big differences---political ones in this case. Emily and I lean into her professional work as a therapist for advice on how to get along with people who have different points of view.And there is another major fact that I need to tell you about Emily. Emily is my second cousin! Our grandfathers were brothers, and our moms are first cousins. We also talk in the episode about the potential of friendship between cousins and how jealous I always was of Emily and her first cousins.Meet Emily Locker:Emily lives in Washington, D. C. with her husband and two young sons. Find Emily on Instagram @emilylocker. * All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab. Let's connect over all things friendship! My Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram & TikTok & Twitter JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

Shows like The Golden Girls and Grace & Frankie are beloved by so many, but also treated as a fantasy. What if platonic life partnerships didn't have to be merely a dream? What if you didn't have to wait until retirement age to consider centering your life around friendship?Today's guest, Rhaina Cohen, author of The Other Significant Others: Reimagining Life with Friendship at the Center, profiles platonic partners in her book who are at different ages and stages of life. While there have always been people throughout history making the choice to commit their lives to a friend rather than a romantic partner, there are not common models, labels, or legal benefits for these kind of arrangements. MEET RHAINA COHEN:Rhaina Cohen is an award-winning producer and editor for NPR's documentary podcast Embedded. She was named a 2021/2022 National Endowment for the Humanities Public Scholar for her debut nonfiction book, The Other Significant Others: Reimagining Life with Friendship at the Center. Her writing, often focused on social connection, has appeared in The Atlantic, The New York Times, The Washington Post and elsewhere. She's spent most of her career working on podcasts that blend narratives and ideas, including Hidden Brain, Invisibilia and Rough Translation. Find Rhaina on Twitter and Instagram.We discussed:The lack of vocabulary or process for people who want to try a platonic partnership.The real enchantment and sense of possibility that happens when you're excited about a new friend, a feeling that's not so different from a romantic spark. Rhaina mentioned "limerence" as the term used for this initial sensation in romance that can apply to friendship too.The crucial element of proximity in close friendships.The popularity of the Llano Exit Strategy story and the dream people have about clustering near close friends eventually.The importance of not having just one story in our minds for what it looks like to be happy, fulfilled, and connected.Some of the benefits Rhaina gains because she and her husband live with another couple (platonically) and the couple's two kids. * All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab. Let's connect over all things friendship! My Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram & TikTok & Twitter JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

Episode #86: Making friends and deepening existing friendships starts with some basic truths."Every friendship starts with an act of bravery. And every friendship goes to the next level because of someone's act of bravery. ""Do not wait for the other person to make the first move. It's always your turn."These are just two of many wise and thoughtful quotes about making friends and deepening friendships from today's guests, Amy Weatherly and Jess Johnston. Amy, Jess, and I---three friendship enthusiasts---shared times we've been brave in making friends and deepening those friendships as well as times we've struggled. We covered:Some of our own personal stories of the brave act of making friends, including how Amy and Jess met online and formed a real friendshipThe fear of rejectionThe fear of being awkwardLetting go of assumptions you've made about what everyone is thinkingThe fear of leaving others outFinding a pickleball game! Focusing on the people who say yes and don't fixate on the people who are not interestedNot giving up all of your power to make friendships happenIntentionality and vulnerability in deepening friendshipsThe fear of sharing who you really areAsking good questions Allowing kids and teens to experience friendship bumps (not trying to fix everything)MEET AMY AND JESSAmy Weatherly and Jess Johnston are cofounders of the viral page all about friendship, Sister, I Am with You. They coauthored the new book, Here For It and the Wall Street Journal bestseller I'll Be There (But I'll Be Wearing Sweatpants) and have been featured in national news such as Good Morning America to talk about friendship. They are friends first, business partners second, and absolutely adore any time they can spend together in real life (eating queso) and laughing till they ache.Find Amy & Jess on: Facebook, Instagram, and on their Website.* All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab. Let's connect over all things friendship! My Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram & TikTok & Twitter JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

Episode #85: "The more the merrier" is a common expression for good reason. Most of us don't want to be considered exclusive. We want others to feel welcomed and comfortable around us. But there are times when the more the merrier is not the case-- when the group dynamics for a particular event won't work if everyone comes along.In episode 85, I have a tough conversation with Danielle Bayard Jackson, an incredibly clear-thinking friendship coach and national speaker on the topic of female friendships. Danielle's viral TikTok and viral Instagram post on "Reasons Why You (Possibly) Weren't Invited" caught my attention. She gave examples in those videos I know I have done myself (cringe) and things I've thought, but have been too scared to say on my podcast or in my own writing about friendship. I needed Danielle by my side to have this conversation about why we and others are sometimes not invited. And I'm glad I shared some of own insecurities and pet peeves, even though the topic gave me a stomachache when we spoke and still does posting it for others to hear.Meet Danielle:Danielle Bayard Jackson is a female friendship coach and educator who speaks nationally on the subject of friendship as a wellness imperative. Her coaching business, Friend Forward, is dedicated to teaching women how to create and maintain better female friendships. Danielle's expertise has been featured in NBC News, Psychology Today, Wall Street Journal, Oprah Magazine, and many other outlets. She shares her insight weekly on The Friend Forward Podcast and has a book coming out in spring 2024 called Fighting For Our Friendships. Danielle is the official spokesperson for Bumble's new app Bumble For Friends. Personal IG - @daniellebayardjackson.    Friend Forward IG - @friendforward TikTok - @thefriendshipexpert    Twitter - @DBayardJackson Website - www.betterfemalefriendships.com* All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab. Let's connect over all things friendship! My Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram & TikTok & Twitter JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

Episode #84:  Debra Arbit and I tell our real-life friendship story, which is a great example of going from barely acquaintances to close friends in our 40s. Well, when we met Debra was still in her 30s, but I was in my 40s. We share the emails and texts that move us from office-mates to friends.  Debra and I don't agree on everything, but we do agree that inviting people into your home is one way to significantly move a friendship forward. We share lots of tips for how to make hosting a much easier task. As I discussed way back in episode 20, good friendship chemistry isn't enough to foster a good friendship. One person in the acquaintanceship has to "make a move" to talk more or hang out in a different context.I shared very detailed show notes for this one with all the hosting tips we covered. You can find that here on my website. Meet Debra: In addition to being a consultant for women business owners, and raising three young kids, Debra has hosted TONS of friends and acquaintances at her house for meals. Debra took her love for cooking onto her instagram account, @fortheloveofcookbooks, where she cooks her way through entire cookbooks and does much of it live on her Instagram  stories. She rates the recipes too. It's a fantastic account!* All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab. Let's connect over all things friendship! My Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram & TikTok & Twitter JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

Episode #83: Have you ever befriended your ex's ex? Today's episode focuses on the potential friendship that comes from a shared hurt and a shared healing. I was intrigued when Lara Starr emailed me about her "sister exes." Lara has written extensively in her Substack, It's Kind of a Long Story, about the friendships that came from bonding with the women who were emotionally hurt by the same man. This kind of friendship could also apply to fellow ex-friends of a particular friend.  There may be some drawbacks to starting a friendship this way. If the relationship stays way too focused on the common hurt, that's not a true or deep friendship. We get into all of that as Lara shares her story. Meet Lara Starr: Lara is a publishing publicist and a former radio producer. Find her on Substack and Instagram.Let's connect over all things friendship! Here's my Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram & TikTok Twitter JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

The friendships formed during difficult, even dark, periods of our lives create a lasting impact unlike any other bond. These friendships "in the trenches" can come in many forms---a health crisis, a traumatic experience, or even experiencing an especially intense work environment with a harsh boss and terrible hours.This week's guest, Jenny Leon, talks about some of the "in the trenches" friendships found in pop culture, but we mainly focus on the special and irreplaceable friendship Jenny made with a fellow young mom who was on the same chemotherapy schedule when Jenny was diagnosed with breast cancer in her 33rd week of pregnancy. Jenny's new friend, Alli, was one of the few people who could understand Jenny's specific experience. Their bond was crucial and irreplaceable. In addition, a listener's voicemail about finding camaraderie during clonazepam withdrawal reaffirms the profound support we discover in our darkest times. You can learn more about Renee's story in here. Meet Jenny Leon:Jenny Leon is a former Manhattan finance lawyer who started writing when she got diagnosed with breast cancer in her 33rd week of pregnancy with her second child. She is working on a memoir on how her love of being a mother provided her with a lifeline to get through a double mastectomy, chemo and radiation. Jenny's essays have been nominated for a Pushcart Prize and other awards. Most of her work focuses on motherhood, anxiety, and breast cancer. Her writing has been featured in the Globe and Mail, HuffPost Canada, the Buffalo News, Motherwell, Kveller and HerStry amongst others. Additionally, she has been featured in numerous campaigns and presentations for Sharsheret, a national nonprofit that focuses on assisting young women and their families affected by the BRCA mutation.Find all of Jenny's publications and interviews here. You can follow her on Instagram. And if you'd like to message her directly, she is always happy to hear from others and to help. She can be found at jennyroseleon@gmail.comLet's connect over all things friendship! Here's my Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram & TikTok Twitter JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

Episode #81: Have you ever held back sharing good news because you sensed a friend wasn't truly celebrating with you? Do you have friends who show up in bad times, but are slow to show support in good times? This episode is for you! I share some thoughts on identifying the friends who want to hear your good news, how to develop more friendships like that, and how to be that kind of friend to others. Then, my guest, Chaz Sandifer, and I discussed the reality of outgrowing friendships, knowing which friends you can trust, friends who cheer you on, the dangers of jealousy and competition, and much more. Meet Chaz Sandifer:Chaz is the founder and owner of theNEWmpls, a holistic health and wellness company specializing in fitness, wellness, and nutrition. They offer private fitness classes around the Twin Cities and a variety of special programs with various partners. Chaz is the sole source for diabetes prevention in Ramsey County. She also owns Lakeview Terrace Farmers Market, the only Black woman owned farmer's market in Minnesota. Chaz personally speaks often about owning a health and wellness business as a Black woman. One of her main specialties is discussing generational wealth. Chaz has a weekly podcast with WCCO called Fitness Revolution with Chaz. Chaz has taken on a role as a co-leader for the communications work group at The University of Minnesota in the department for Community Engagement to Advance Research and Community Health, and she's the co-founder of Stories Through the Menu, an exciting chef series in Minneapolis. Find Chaz on Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn.Let's connect over all things friendship! Here's my Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram & TikTok Twitter JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

Episode #80: "Neediness" has come up in plenty of episodes, but this is the first one dedicated to that loaded word. The episode was inspired by a letter from a listener--author, Sally Vardaman, who found herself reacting to my mom's story in episode #72 about her decision to end a friendship over what she called, "neediness." Sally's letter was so reflective and insightful that I asked her to come on the show. We covered: feeling drained by a friend's needs.worrying you're overtaxing friends with your needs.eliminating the shame of having needs in the first place. We all have needs! They just rarely cannot be met by one particular friend.MEET SALLY VARDAMANSally Vardaman is a writer who believes in the power of stories to make us think, question our assumptions, and connect with each other despite our differences. She is the author of Shoot the Arrows, a new book of essays to her three teenage children on why honesty and self-reflection are the keys to a healthy and meaningful life. You can find more about her work at sallyvardaman.com. As well as on Facebook, Instagram, and Goodreads.The Books Sally has found helpful on the topic of neediness:Sally wrote, "There are no quick fixes and we need all the education we can get.  The great thing about books and learning is we always have the opportunity to understand ourselves better and change."Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller, a great assessment on attachment issues with lots of practical suggestions for all attachment types.Platonic by Marisa Franco, a look at attachment specifically in friendships (pretty sure I heard about this one through Dear Nina :)How to Be Your Own Best Friend by Mildred Newman and Bernard Berkowitz (first published in 1971, thank you Nora Ephron!)Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself by Melodie Beattie (first published in 1986)Lying by Sam Harris Let's connect over all things friendship! Here's my Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram & TikTok Twitter JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

Episode #79: Bri McKoy is a cookbook author and military wife who has moved seven times in 12 years. She went from burning everything in the kitchen to learning to cook as a way to create community. Have you ever wondered how to make good friends in a new city? Bri has repeatedly accomplished this task with some towns proving harder than others.  Bri's husband, Jeremy, has been deployed four times since they were married. Cooking helped Bri make friends while he was gone. She is now the author of a beautiful and helpful cookbook, The Cook's Book, Recipes for Keeps and Essential Techniques to Master Everyday Cooking. I am so inspired by Bri's story. I think you will be too!We covered:the importance of creating a sense of community, even when you know you're moving againwhich cities were harder to make friends than otherscombating loneliness and building relationshipsactionable advice on reaching out to othersnot waiting for invitations learning patience in the kitchen and letting go of perfection as a hostFIND BRI MCKOY:Website, Instagram, YouTubeLet's connect over all things friendship! Here's my Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram & TikTok Twitter JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

Episode #78: You feel good potential friendship chemistry with someone, but then what to do next?  This is an episode about pursuing a new friend. (We also get into some texting etiquette.) How do you pursue the friendship in a way that lets the other person know you're interested, but doesn't scare them off? And if you're someone who already has a full social life, how do you make time for a new friend? And why should you make time for a new friend?We also discussed some texting etiquette such as when to employ the thumbs up and when to respond with words. Fans of Dear Nina will know I have strong feelings about this!Join my conversation with the co-hosts of Life's Accessories, The Podcast, Stephanie Goldstein and Rachel Levy Lesser, as we learn how these very new friends met and became so close despite living in different cities and neither one lacking for friends. Meet Stephanie and Rachel: Authors, journalists, friends and self proclaimed over-accessorizers, Rachel Levy Lesser and Stephanie Goldstein remember what they wore on pretty much every meaningful occasion. In Life's Accessories, The Podcast, they dig deep into their closets and their memories to tell the stories behind these items. Rachel and Stephanie interview experts, friends, celebrities and just really interesting and awesome people about items from their jewelry boxes and closets, and they do it with wit, humor and insight. Find Life's Accessories on Instagram and Facebook. Let's connect over all things friendship! Here's my Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram & TikTok Twitter JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

Episode #77: If there's one thing we need these days, it's some joy and laughter. It's dark times. And while today's story of a heartbreak from a friendship breakup isn't exactly what we think of as funny on its own, I am thrilled to tell you that there is a fantastic comedian out there who has made humor and art out of a painful friendship breakup he had in college.Gabe Mollica's one-man show is called Solo: A Show About Friendship. How could I not feature it on Dear Nina? If you're a fan of This American Life, you might have already heard a bit of comedian Gabe Mollica's friendship breakup story. Reporter Aviva DeKornfeld did a story called “Say It To My Face” about Gabe. I don't want to give too much away from that episode, but for context, Aviva managed to interview not only Gabe, but also his former college best friend, Tim. The parts with Tim are sort of the fantasy anyone with a friendship breakup has ever had a chance to hear from the friend who got away. And it was that part I related to most in Gabe's story. We discussed it more in today's episode. Listen to Gabe and I swap friendship break-up stories and share how we both turned that pain into art. Gabe is a masterful storyteller, and his one-man show, Solo: A Show About Friendship, is in the middle of a long run in New York City with shows planned in Chicago and other cities, too. More about Gabe Mollica: Gabe's story on This American LifeReview of Gabe's show in Time Out New YorkInformation on getting tickets to "Solo" can be found here.Find Gabe on Instagram and TikTok.Let's connect over all things friendship! Here's my Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram & TikTok Twitter JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

Episode 76: This episode of Dear Nina focuses on reaching out amidst turmoil (this time in particular, in the Middle East), navigating conversations when you're not sure what to say, and the profound impact of letting someone know you're thinking of them. Questions discussed include: Can a simple message of love and support make a difference to a friend during a crisis?Is it fair to expect friends to post on social media? At what point do you let friends know you're disappointment they didn't reach out?How do you handle it when you see friends publicly post their anger about others' silence and you suspect they might be referring to you?What might keep people from reaching out personally or expressing their opinions publicly? Past episodes mentioned in this episode:"The Friend Who Never Initiates Contact""The Friend Who Ignores Your Social Media Posts" Let's connect over all things friendship! Here's my Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram & TikTok Twitter JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

Episode #75: If you're struggling with managing your friendships or looking for innovative ways to make new friends, this episode is your roadmap to a richer, more fulfilling social life. What you might be missing if you're not spending time with friends is a container for those friendships. My guests have tons of ideas for you!Jeff Waldman and Dan Moore joined me for an inspiring thirty minutes where we discussed creating closer friendships by scheduling time with friends. Yes, something as mundane as scheduling in the magic here. We also got into more specific ideas like organizing workshops or trips, putting standing dates on your calendar for phone calls, dinners, fitness check-ins, games, workshops, retreats, and more. We discussed saying yes sometimes, even when you feel like staying home, and the benefit of being the host of events instead of the guest. Meet Jeff and DanJeff Waldman is a designer, builder, and author of a book on tools. He sells building plans and has a newsletter on Substack called Elevated Spaces where he writes about both construction and community building and where those two practices intersect for him.  Two of Jeff's especially pertinent posts about friendship are: “Who are all these friends— Scheduled phone calls edition” and “What's Up With All These Workshops”His communal property in California's Santa Cruz mountains burned in the wildfires of 2020 but lives on as a canvas for new project. Dan Moore is a technologist, outdoor enthusiast, husband and father.  He has been writing software for over 20 years, and was shocked early in his career at how much software project success depends on human relationships. He's an author and contributor to technical books such as "97 Things Every Cloud Engineer Should Know" and "Letters To a New Developer: What I Wish I Had Known When Starting My Development Career." Dan's also an organizer and member of several interest based groups, including the Odd Fellows (a fraternal order)  and the Boulder Ruby programming language meetup group. Dan lives in Boulder, Colorado with his wife and two daughters.Let's connect over all things friendship! Here's my Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram & TikTok Twitter JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

Episode #74 with Kristin Nilsen: Have you ever stopped to acknowledge the profound impact of your childhood friendships, even the most casual and fleeting ones, on your adult identity? This episode is dedicated to the friends who touched our lives, even if they are no longer an active part of it.  Walk down memory lane with Kristin Nilsen, a middle-grade fiction writer and co-host of The Pop Culture Preservation Society Podcast, as we scrutinize our early social interactions and their lasting influence. We acknowledge the importance of these friendships, even those that were temporary, and appreciate the roles they played in shaping us. We also take a  quick nostalgic dive into the central friendship themes in our favorite childhood books from Charlotte's Web to The Secret Garden to The Babysitter's Club series and the Sweet Vallely High series.Special shoutout to Braeside Elementary School and the many classmates who made my childhood so special.Meet Kristin Nilsen: Kristin is the author of Worldwide Crush, a new novel for middle grade readers that unpacks and celebrates the celebrity crushes of our youth. It's also gathering a following of nostalgic middle aged readers who are having fun reliving their own first crush experiences. Kristin is also one of the co-hosts of The Pop Culture Preservation Society Podcast, a podcast devoted to preserving the cultural nuggets of the classic Gen X childhood. Find Kristin on Instagram @kristin.nilsen.writer and on TikTok @worldwidecrushbook.Let's connect over all things friendship! Here's my Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram & TikTok Twitter JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

Episode #73 with Ruchi Koval: Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you simply can't connect with someone trying to become better friends with you? Or, have you ever needed to "downgrade" a friendship? Letting down another person is never easy! Join me as I sit down with Ruchi Koval, a renowned author, motivational speaker, and relationship coach, to discuss how to navigate these types of conversations with kindness and grace. Ruchi also shares some hard truths that might require a mindset shift about making room for other people and not always protecting our time as the number one goal in life (despite the internet always teaching us the opposite of that).Detailed show notes are HERE.  MEET RUCHI KOVAL: Ruchi is a motivational speaker and relationship coach who has inspired personal transformation in thousands of people. She's the co-founder and Associate Director of Congregation JFX, an innovative community in Cleveland, Ohio. She has been a Jewish educator for two decades, leading self-development groups for adults and teens, and mentoring educators around the world. She's the author of two books, (she's also working on a third!) and a mother of seven and a grandmother. And she is a trip leader for Momentum, inspiring hundreds of women on their journeys in Israel. I especially loved Ruchi's second book, Soul Construction: Shape Your Character Using 8 Steps From the Timeless Jewish Practice of Mussar. We spend some time on Mussar principles in the episode. Find Ruchi on Instagram and on her website.Let's connect over all things friendship! Here's my Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram & TikTok Twitter JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

Episode #72:  Sometimes we hurt a friend unintentionally, but an apology is still in order. Is there a friend out there who might be waiting for you to say, "I'm sorry?" Are you ready to forgive the friend who comes to you with an apology? This is the episode where we encourage you to think about forgiveness---asking for it and granting it.Who is we? I finally have MY MOM back on the show! We encouraged each other to think about the friends we might have hurt without realizing we have done so. We also talked about grudges and shared some personal stories of our own pettiness, others' pettiness, and we laughed a bit too.Naturally the timing of this episode is inspired by the Jewish holidays of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, but the discussion is valuable and relatable no matter your background--Jewish OR NOT. Join us as we navigate this special time of year dedicated to self-reflection and saying we're sorry, inspiring you to reconsider your relationships and how you handle grudges and forgiveness. Resources:The 20 questions Bryan uses for self-reflection around Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. The article I wrote for Kveller in 2014, "Waiting For an Apology That Will Never Come"The article I wrote for The Jewish Daily Forward in 2013, "The Benefit of the Doubt for the New Year"If you want the challah recipe I use all the time and wrote about in this essay at On Being, email me at ninabadzin@gmail.com. I will send you the pdf version.Other episodes featuring my mom: The Friend Who Will Only TextWhen Friends Ask Questions You Don't Want to AnswerWidowhood and FriendshipTwo quotes about grudges by Maggie Smith in her book, Keep Moving: “Maybe we say ‘holding a grudge' because that kind of resentment is a heavy thing you have to wrap your arms around to carry. Holding it weighs you down, not the other person. Set it down anytime. Right now, for instance. Keep moving.”“Expect that what you tend to will grow. Expect that what you feed with your care and attention, what you shine your light on, will thrive. Choose wisely. Keep moving.”Let's connect over all things friendship! Here's my Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram & TikTok Twitter JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

Episode #71:  Diamonde Williamson, found a way to make art from a painful friendship breakup and help others process their breakups, too. Just like romantic breakups, friendship breakups can lead to feelings of grief, loss, and loneliness. Yet, these feelings are often dismissed or minimized, making it hard to heal and move forward.  Learn more about Diamonde's documentary, Best Friends Not Forever. Topics We Covered:Friendships that end because someone decided they need to end vs. a friendship that fadesFriendship breakups are an ageless, universal issue, causing painAcknowledging the grief of a friendship that ended for any reasonHow mutual friends can handle a breakup between their friends (It's hard to be in the middle!)The importance of communication in friendshipsTaking responsibility for our sides of friendships that endedThe beauty of reconciliation and forgiveness when possibleMaking art as part of a healing processMeet Diamonde Williamson:Diamonde Williamson is the Founder and CEO of Third and Wonder Production House, the go-to media and production company for Black women and Black culture, specializing in branded, documentary, and unscripted formats. She's created hundreds of videos for notable clientele like: The Oprah Winfrey Network, Google, Warner Bros., Essence, and more. Learn more about her original documentary, Best Friends Not Forever, and her highly praised podcast Creative Women Wanted. Her continued goal is to build community and produce entertaining, empowering and relatable art for Black women.You can also find Diamonde on Instagram @therealdiamonde.Let's connect over all things friendship! Here's my Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram & TikTok Twitter JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

Episode #70: Ever feel like your social life is a waiting game, stuck in the perpetual hope for an invitation to hang out? It's time to flip the script! This episode is about empowering you to take control of your social time and friendships. Don't  wait around hoping to be invited--reach out, take the lead, and discover the joy that comes with being the planner. It's a super power! This is the perfect episode for a new school year, or a new season of friendship for ALL AGES from kids to every stage of adulthood. Yes, every stage--through retirement and beyond. A few links mentioned in the episode:The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness by Robert Waldinger M.D. and Marc Schulz Ph.D.This Ted Talk by Susan Pinker: "The Secret to Living Longer May be Your Social Life"Episode #3 of Dear Nina, "The Friend Who Never Initiates Contact"Danielle Bayer Jackson is an amazing source for all things friends, and the upcoming guest I mentioned and not being invited. And so it Anna Goldfarb! In this episode I mentioned her 30 days of friendship tips on Threads.My best friend and occasional guest, Taryn Kessel, always talks about being your own "cruise director." You can find Taryn on episodes #2, #9, #18, #27.Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim by David SedarisLet's connect over all things friendship! Here's my Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram & TikTok Twitter JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

Episode #69: with Jennifer Cramer-MillerYou know those articles and memes that are everywhere reprimanding us about what NOT to say to a friend who is going through a hard time of any kind? Jennifer is here today to say THE OPPOSITE of that. She's urging us to stop being afraid of saying the wrong things to friends with chronic illness, or friends dealing with anything else. Your friends will never say the perfect thing! WE will sometimes say the "wrong thing" to our friends. And I agree with Jennifer that we need to leave so much more room for people to say the imperfect thing and then let it go.Meet Jennifer Cramer-MillerJennifer is an author, speaker, and four-time kidney transplant recipient. Diagnosed with an incurable autoimmune disease at 22 and then experiencing the weight and relief of four transplants has given Jennifer a way of seeing life and the people in it that I could not wait to share with listeners.Jennifer's memoir, Incurable Optimist: Living with Illness and Chronic Hope  is available now where books are sold. She also has lots of essays all over the place but some examples—  Zibby Mag, Brevity,  Grown & Flown, Star Tribune, and Minnesota Physician— some of which were started in our ModernWell Writing Group! Find Jennifer on her website, and on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. A few links mentioned in the episode:The National Kidney Foundation for information on becoming a living donorThe Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness by Robert Waldinger M.D. and Marc Schulz Ph.D The guest spot I mentioned was on The Untitled Gen-X Podcast where we did a deep dive into Steel Magnolias Let's connect over all things friendship! Here's my Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram & TikTok Twitter JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

Episode #68: Today we're discussing a harder topic than usual--what to do when your friend is in a very unhealthy or even an abusive relationship. It can be extremely difficult as a friend, as opposed to a family member, to know when you can step in to help, or how you can help.I'm grateful to Rachel Katz for sharing her story. She's been on both sides of this equation. Rachel can speak to the frustration of watching a friend stay in a dangerous relationship, and she's been in a toxic relationship herself so she has firsthand experience with what a friend could do to help someone in the same situation. Meet Rachel KatzRachel is a Wellness Embodiment Coach, Nutritional Scientist, Certified Holistic Nutritionist, and Yoga Teacher. She helps women heal on a mind body and soul level so that they can embody true wellness. Her mission is to help you heal your relationships- with food, your body, yourself, & others so you can live your most full life ever!Find Rachel on Instagram, TikTok, and on her website. Let's connect over all things friendship! Here's my Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram & TikTok Twitter JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question

Episode #67: In this episode, I encourage listeners to reach out to some long distance friends and plan a trip! Why? I finally put my money where my mouth is and spent time with out of town friends, and in this solo episode, I'm telling you all about it.Visiting long distance friends requires time and usually a financial commitment, but the rewards are priceless. The planning of these trips and then the actual trip itself, even very short ones, creates shared memories, deepens bonds, and reminds of us the joy of being in the same space. In a world where technology often dictates our interactions, it's crucial to remember the value of face-to-face connections and the impact they have on our lives.More specifically, I'm talking about a trip with college friends to Boulder in this episode and the extra few days I stayed there to spend time with Pam Moore, a dear friend of a decade I had never met in person. The resources I mentioned about Pam Moore and Julie Vick:Pam's podcast: The Real Fit PodcastPam's ebook guide to pitching editors. 7 Pitches That Sold.Julie Vick's book: Babies Don't Make Small Talk (So Why Should I?): The Introvert's Guide to Surviving ParenthoodTwo Videos I made of the trip:TikTok (a little longer)Instagram (very quick!)Let's connect over all things friendship! Here's my Substack newsletter about friendship & more Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest Instagram & TikTok Twitter JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group Ask an anonymous question