Never Perfect

Julie Baumgardner has spent 35 years helping guide people to create healthy vibrant marriage relationships. Almost 28 years ago, she helped launch First Things First, an award-winning nonprofit dedicated to helping people have healthy relationships. In this episode,  she addresses some common myths about marriage and shares some of her favorite research and advice, for walking through hard seasons of marriage and why building a culture of appreciation in marriage can make all the difference. She emphasizes the importance of individuals building their own happiness as a way to put less pressure on  their spouse to meet all their needs. Also be on the lookout for Julie‘s new project called “Marriage on the Daily” which should be coming in the Fall of 2025. Recommended Resources: - The Mindful marriage (Ron and Nan Deal) - Hold Me Tight and Created for Connection (Sue Johnson) - God, Sex and Your Marriage (Juli Slattery) - Hot Monogamy (Pat Love) - The Heart of Commitment (Scott Stanley) Listen to this episode and more: ⁠neverperfect.org⁠ Follow us on instagram ⁠@neverperfectpodcast⁠ Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: ⁠neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today Dr. Beth and her husband Remo experience the benefits of Enneagram coaching with Kat Smith, certified Enneagram teacher and co-host of the Enneagram + Yoga podcast.  Kat gives an overview of the Enneagram test and how it helps us in our journey of self discovery and understanding our loved ones better, and how it can help us reframe narratives. She then shares an overview of Beth's type, which is 7, “The Enthusiast” and Remo's type, 8, “The Challenger.” if you want to get a feel for what Enneagram coaching could do to strengthen your connection with your partner or loved ones, check this episode out. It's full of information, insight, and laughter. Kat recommends reading “The Wisdom of the Enneagram “  or “The Road Back to You” if you're interested in learning more. To book a coaching session with Kat, go to www.theyogasmith.com Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today Dr. Beth and one of her clients (a man in his 70's) spontaneously record their conversation about nonverbal communication and its impact on relationships. Researchers suggest that nonverbal communication is more important than verbal communication, and comprises 70 to 93% of communication. Today's conversation stemmed from a comment he made about two tour guides on a trip who didn't seem to include him. Beth decided to get brave and tell Kim that she had misperceived his nonverbal communication on several occasions, thinking he was angry when he wasn't… This sparked some soul-searching for Kim and he reflected on his resting facial expression and learned about RBF! Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is what happens when 3 therapists get together for coffee, and spontaneously invite Beth's dietician friend Ellie Paulauskaite to join them. Today's episode is a recording of this fun and informative discussion about body image, fat shaming, and nutrition. Things include societal perceptions around nutrition and body image, emphasizing that being thin does not equate to being healthy. It highlights the necessity for a balanced approach to nutrition, acknowledging the impact of modern conveniences on physical activity and the tendency for people to seek quick fixes for emotional and behavioral issues through medication . The importance of motivation to change eating habits is stressed alongside the need for safe spaces to discuss help without shame. Healthy lifestyle, self love and body positivity are highly encouraged by this group as a whole. With Brittanee Estes, MFT, Sharon Ratchford, LCSW and Ellie Paulauskaite, RDN. Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today Dr. Beth interviews Jordanne Sculler, a therapist who specializes in relationships, approaching her clients with a “ tough yet compassionate style”.  She challenges her clients to look in the mirror at themselves rather than pointing their finger at others in an effort to “bring the work back to them.” She also challenges the delusion that relationships can be perfect. For her, the heart of effective therapy requires two components: building  a strong bond and challenging clients with pushback. Jordanne says that her hope/goal for her clients (and all people) is 1) to be completely ourselves, 2) to be loved for exactly who we are, and 3) to be healed through this process. Enjoy this conversation with Jordanne and Dr. Beth regarding relationships. Learn more about Jordanne HERE and follow her on Instagram HERE. Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In relationships, conflict is universal and unavoidable because we all have different viewpoints, opinions, needs and irritable moods and poor affect regulation often exacerbate these issues. Conflict itself is not the problem, but how we manage it can cause the problems. Today Dr. Beth shares several examples of common everyday conflicts and issues. She also includes several examples, including one with her 15 year old daughter and a client sharing her recent argument with her partner, both illustrating some classic communication issues. Dr. Beth suggests reviewing a previous episode called Straight Talk. Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Judith Belmont, best selling author of the TIPS series, has been practicing as a psychotherapist for more than 40 years, has recently published her favorite book with 110 cognitive behavioral therapy tips. It's called 110 CBT Tips and Tools. Cognitive behavioral therapy is an empirically validated treatment for common mental health issues, such as anxiety and depression. Today Beth and Judith share some clinical examples and stories. Beth also shares one of her favorite metaphors for self-esteem related to varieties of flowers and how they all have their unique traits and beauty. Judy Belmont wellness Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Alicia Jones, who developed the program Over Fifty Fit & Fabulous, went through some pivotal experiences with her own mental health and the physical health of her loved ones, which lead her to a life, dedicated to healthy living at any age. In her early adulthood, Alicia was motivated to lose weight because she thought it would make her more beautiful or worthy, but eventually she realized that the main purpose of healthy eating and exercise is mental and physical health.  Alicia is a highly recognized health and fitness expert. Since 2006 she has transformed the health and lives of women over 50 through fitness and weight loss strategies. Her 12 week signature program Over Fifty Fit & Fabulous has helped countless women achieve a wide range of goals, from becoming beautiful and confident mother of the brides (and grooms) to fun grandmas who have the energy and strength to play with their grandkids endlessly. Find the link to her website and her free master class below:  Free Master Class Alicia Jones Healthy Living Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today Stephen shares his story of living with cerebral palsy, explaining what it is, and what he wishes “normies” understood about it, such as how much mental energy it takes to simply live with pain or maintain physical balance, in the sense of walking without falling. At a young age, his mother instilled in him the importance of working as hard as possible to stay strong, and he describes how that has benefited him throughout his life. Stephen describes the growing acceptance and peace surrounding his disability, and reduction in worrying about what others think. Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

After serving as a judge in Los Angeles for 26 years, Anthony pursued his passion for writing and decided to write a book about growing up in a blended family in the 50's and 60's, going back-and-forth between his father‘s house and his mother‘s house. He describes “ living in the shadow of two larger than life men”, both of whom mentored and influenced him in distinctive ways. His father was a Hollywood actor, and his stepfather was a successful entrepreneur. Anthony's book is called “Every Other Weekend: Coming of Age with Two Different Dads.” To learn more about him and his story, go VISIT HERE. Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today Dr. Beth has a fun discussion with her daughter, Cullie, and Cullie‘s boyfriend Bennett, who were both diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder about a year ago. After sharing some of the strengths and weaknesses of individuals with ADD, Beth asks them to share some a little bit about their experience with getting diagnosed, learning struggles, and reflecting on which traits they can and can't relate to. They talk a little bit about everything, including the two dogs they gave away to a neighbor, etc. Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today relationship expert Dr. Carol Stoney returns to Never Perfect to deliver more phenomenal nuggets on how to improve relationships and communication. She focuses on the importance of developing agreements on the front end rather than expecting your loved ones to read your mind or do guess work (Dr. Stan Tatkins developed this concept of agreements). Carol brings up a powerful exercise from Dr. John Gottman called “dreams within conflict” in which couples discuss core issues and longings that underlie conflicts. She also distinguishes between “actual crimes” a relationship from less serious issues (using the work of Dr. Brent Atkinson.) These crimes include lying/deception, sexual unfaithfulness, breaking clear agreements, bad, mouthing your partner, violating privacy/personal space, making big decisions without consulting your partner, etc.) To register for Dr. Stoney‘s webinars visit HERE. To hear previous episodes with Dr. Carol Stoney, look for the repairing relationships episode from November 2021, Our Body's Response to Relationships in September 2022, and How to Manage Unsolvable Relationship issues from October 2023. Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are your life and work aligned with your purpose? Are your efforts making a positive difference? These are questions posed by Annette Gulick in her latest book. She states “In a world overflowing with options—from which product to buy, to which job to take, and for how long—it can be overwhelming to figure out what truly matters. And even harder to know if our choices will foster our well-being.” Annette and her husband Tim have devoted more than a decade to training youth leaders and organizations all over the world, specifically those who are investing in the development of young people. After many years of doing this work and writing several books, Annette decided to write “Aligned: Flourishing in a World of Choice”, summarizing the principles that she and her husband Tim had been teaching for so many years. This work helps readers answer the question, "What can I do to fulfill my purpose and become the fullness of what I am designed to be?". The book includes activities to help readers discover what it means to live a more fruitful life.  To learn more about Annette's book, go to annettegulick.com Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today Vanderbilt trained physician Patricia McLelland addresses 10 common questions about menopause and hormones. Topics include how to know when you need hormones, how to decide which hormones to take, the benefits of hormones, the safest way to take them, etc. Patricia approaches medicine from an integrative standpoint, recommending holistic and botanical tools whenever possible. She focuses on nutrition, exercise, stress management, good quality, sleep, botanicals, and medications as the ways to stay as healthy as possible during menopause. She highly recommends Dr. Aviva Romm's podcast and articles on the topic as well. Link to Dr. Romm's podcast is HERE Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

After raising two daughters with allergies and working in the health and beauty industry for over 20 years, Kim Grustas founded  Good For You Girls, the first clean skincare company for girls in the United States. Kim has spent many years studying puberty and views it as a miraculous phase to be celebrated. Today she shares her views on puberty and how she talks about it with young girls and parents, emphasizing the fact that it is not happening TO you as much as it is happening FOR you.  To learn more about Kim's mission with clean and healthy living for adolescents and girls, VISIT HERE For a 20% discount, enter code neverperfect20 Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Author Sasha Saidman knows what it's like to have struggles with learning and to question your intelligence. As a person with dyslexia and a high school dropout, Sasha is passionate about helping other individuals with learning disabilities discover their gifts and realize how intelligent they truly are, and embracing themselves as “outside the box thinners.” Today she shares her childhood story of being in a family who provided emotional safety and urged her to advocate for herself. She and Dr. Beth offer some of their favorite parenting advice, highlighting the importance of emotional safety, Sasha has written children's books about dyslexia, adoption, and other topics. To learn more about her book “Melonade” and others, go to sashasaidman.com Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Thanks to a conversation about licorice with a dental tech, Dr. Beth got to hear a wonderful story about a young woman's struggles with severe anxiety. This woman, Erika Derryberry, she how she got her anxiety to a manageable level, from antidepressant medication to EMDR to neurofeedback, meanwhile developing a huge passion for holistic medicine and natural cures. Today Erika shares her story with Dr. Beth. Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today Dr. Beth attempts to get some free counseling from her listeners as she processes some recent parenting mistakes in her own family. She discussed some of the components of executive functioning which she, and most parents with ADHD) are lacking in. these include skills, such as decision-making, prioritizing, planning ahead, and organizing. Beth shares a few examples how poor planning can cause a lot of unnecessary distress and disappointment. She urges other parents to learn from her mistakes and to be a better captain of their families ship, so to speak. Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Years ago, Beth came up with the term “Overfunctioner” and frequently talks about this with clients and friends who tend to overwork, overperform, do more than their share, and frequently have trouble being on the receiving end of things. There are a variety of potential reasons that people overfunction, including perfectionism, childhood trauma, feelings of insecurity or inadequacy, feeling that love and approval is conditional, etc. Fath is passionate about helping people like this and today she shares a couple examples of people who worked through these issues and learned to love, value and protect themselves more and to exercise greater self compassion.  Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today Beth records a spontaneous podcast on parenting, and shares her own personal struggles with it, as well a couple of client examples. She summarizes the parenting research on authoritative parenting and illustrates the principles using a fish tank/aquarium. In essence, parenting that is too strict and too much like a dictatorship doesn't lead to optimal outcomes for children, but permissive and overly lenient parenting doesn't either. The ideal is in the middle, but Beth admits that she's too democratic in her parenting style, and talks a little bit about how that backfires. The ideal is a balance. Beth also talks about how her own ADHD relates to having traits of a “passive parenting”, or being too permissive at times, and how this relates to deficits and executive functioning (making decisions, planning ahead, being organized, etc.). Although it's not always a parent, kids really want parents to be the captain of the ship, as long as there's not too much rigidity and excessive control. Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this 10 minute episode, Beth shares a few examples of how perfectionism or overestimating a task/situation can lead to procrastination and all our nothing thinking. A common behavior and anxious, depressed or ADHD individuals is overestimating the difficulty of something and underestimating yourself. Analysis paralysis is similar. Beth shares three examples of this behavior in today's episode. Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In his mid 40s, Jeff Barry, an “oops” baby, became passionate about his life story, the heroes and the villains he'd encountered, and the life lessons along the way. His book “Go to Hell Ole Miss” is clearly a passion project, and one that he couldn't sit down until he got it almost perfect. An editor told him it was ready to publish about a year into the process, but he spent another seven years developing the characters in a “pitch perfect “ way, according to a fellow author. Somehow, Jeff manages to tackle big picture issues such as racism, misogyny, southern culture, religion, and family dysfunction in an entertaining way. Jeff poured himself into this project, even talking to the characters out loud while he was writing the story. He even shares his struggle with depression when the project was over. Check out his website HERE Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, Beth asks dietitian Ellie, Paulauskaite for her top 10 pieces of nutrition advice. Ellie provides some amazing and simple guidelines to help with a big picture approach to giving our bodies what they need. Her advice includes: 1) eating whole grains instead of refined grains 2) making sure that half of your plate includes veggies and fruits, especially veggies 3) having small amounts of protein at every meal 4) mindful, eating, slowing down and being aware of and grateful for what you're eating 5) having fermented foods daily in order to improve gut health 6) The three pillars of a healthy lifestyle include nutrition (eg, a Mediterranean diet), movement, and community/connection 7) limiting overprocessed food (and explaining what that means) 8) meal prepping and having quick/realistic “go to” recipes 9) eat the colors of the rainbow for more variety and diversity 10) keep an eye on your bowel movements because they can tell you a lot about your health and nutrition. (number 10 gave Beth an opportunity to show her immature side with a little giggle, partly because Ellie added this 10th one unexpectedly.)  If you would like to set up a consultation with Ellie, you can check out her website sceniccitynutrition.com or email her at info@sceniccitynutrition.com or call/text her at 423-708-2322 Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Chad talks about his journey as an Enneagram Four and coming into his own as an adult, recognizing his tendencies and passions, and how they affected his relationships. As a teenager and young adult, he was reluctant to pursue some of his passions, like poetry, that didn't seem very welcomed in masculine culture. He also talks about his Enneagram subtype as a Sexual (One to One) type, and the way it shapes his Four-ness. After a "wake up call” with a near death experience while paddle boarding the Ocoee River last summer, Chad has a renewed sense of self, including integrating his shadow, and other challenging soul work. He recites two poems for memory during the interview, and talks about how the ego rather than the soul wants to do everything at once. Beth talks about how she “can't “seem to make herself do what she knows she is supposed to do or what is good for her consistently, but she should have said “I don't “instead of “I can't “or that it's difficult…" Check out Big Self School and Dr. Chad Prevost's website Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today Matt Monahan returns for another interview with Dr. Beth, following a great conversation on the Never Perfect Faith podcast on 6/20/24 entitled “Allowing hard questions and honest answers.” So many men find it difficult to face their pain and be vulnerable, and Matt is willing to share his story of growing up with childhood abandonment and emotional neglect. He barely knew his father, and has spent most of his life, wondering if he is good enough. He realized that his feelings about his father translated into his assumptions about God, which unconsciously happens for many. He felt that “if God existed, he would be a capricious and attentive military “type of person. Matt discusses how his insecurity and self loathing translated into his 25 year marriage. He discusses various triggers, including his wife, rejecting, sexual intimacy, and the despair that followed. He talked about the relationship challenges that presented during Covid, and the unexpected healing that came as a result of having more time for introspection. Tune in to hear how Matt pursued healing through self help and faith. And if you want to check out his artwork, go to his website at themightybluegill.com Follow Matt on instagram @themightybluegill Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today's episode, Beth, interviews 2 brave and insightful teenagers (clients who are friends with eachother) who are willing to share their battles with mental health issues, body positivity struggles, etc. Charlie and Emie share their process of learning to value their package deal of strengths and weaknesses, managing social stressors and FOMO, discussing the impact of social media with these issues, and a few other topics. Also, both Charlie and Emie highly recommend the Finch app as a way to improve healthy habits and mental health. On this app is a daily quote, and Emie shared a recent one by Socrates which related to today's discussion, “He who is not contented with what he has, would not be contented with what he would like to have.” Check out FINCH Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Scottie Bowman is an entrepreneur and restaurant owner today, but 22 years ago, after beginning her recovery from alcohol and drug addiction, she developed a passion for starting a rehabilitation center of some kind so that she could help women like herself. In 2019, her dream finally came true when she and her dream team of friends and colleagues, developed a 12-step based sober living home for women recovering from alcohol and drug addiction. In today's episode, Scottie shares her addiction story and the ongoing mission of the Launch pad.  “The Launch Pad is a non-profit organization dedicated to launching women out of addiction and into the healing power of a 12-step sober living program.  We provide housing, mentorship, and workforce development that is nurtured with love, support, and structure. Success in our program fosters a strong belief in oneself, allowing our residents to become more productive members of the community while igniting a sense of purpose, sustainability, and empowerment.” Learn more about the Launch Pad at www.lpchatt.org Also if you live in Chattanooga or you want to make a road trip, please join us at their annual charity auction and concert on August 10 called “The Teal”! Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sydney Guerette, founder of the Be The Change Youth Initiative, shares the reasons her family began a quest when she and her brother were teenagers of traveling the country, writing music and speaking to other teenagers about mental health issues and how they can make a difference in their everyday lives. Sydney believes that “all youth should be seen, heard, and loved,” as well as empowered “to become advocates for their communities.“ The Executive Director of Hands and Feet Project (Mark Stuart) said that Sydney‘s work is “proving that youth truly have the power to impact the lives of people all around the world.” Find more information and how you can volunteer or donate at bethechangeyi.com Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today the hosts of Enneagram + Yoga, Christy Bonner and Kat Smith, return to the show to discuss the unique challenges of different Enneagram types to tune into their bodies. They describe each type briefly and how they can find ways to get centered and listen to their body. They also have a fun discussion about sex and intimacy related to embodiment and the enneagram types. Beth talks about the value of practicing the opposite of your normal tendencies as a way to grow. Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this short episode, Beth attempts to explain the impact of the nervous system on anxiety levels. She describes the speeding up (the sympathetic process) and the slowing down, a compensatory mode (parasympathetic) and how it relates to the fight flight and freeze responses that we have. Sometimes our nervous systems speed up because we encounter real danger or situations we fear and sometimes we have anxious thoughts or fears that cause us to go into fight or flight. Beth talks about how we can unknowingly put ourselves into panic mode or fear mode because of our thoughts and associations. She explains how our nervous systems try to prepare for danger by being hypervigilant, and how this relates to social anxiety. Some techniques can help us put our nervous systems in a calmer state. Other people may also try to read our facial expressions and nonverbal cues to try to figure out whether we are safe or not. A few client examples that relate to these concepts, including the emotional labels that we put on our heightened nervous system states. Remember trauma nervous system. Non-verbal communication Training How does your body respond to dangers? Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is more of an informational discussion on inpatient treatment and intensive outpatient treatment, for those who need more than just standard counseling and therapy . Beth interviews staff from local facility Erlanger Behavioral Health CEO Robin Weagley and Business Development Director Roberto Garcia, and they discuss the differences between inpatient treatment, partial hospitalization, and intensive outpatient treatment. They provide suggestions on how to determine whether someone needs varying levels of care. Erlanger Behavioral Health VISIT HERE Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, dr. Beth interviews Brittanee Estes, a marriage and family therapist, who deals with autism spectrum disorders and ADHD. Brittanie describes the autism spectrum and the criteria/categories used to diagnose it. The first category relates to difficulty understanding and maintaining relationships, and trouble understanding, nonverbal cues. The second category relates to repetitive motor movements, flexibility, with routines, fixated, interests, and sensory issues. And of course, Dr. Beth shares, professional and personal stories to illustrate. Brittanie talks about how she uses family systems work to help the families understand the disorder and how to work with it. She also works with clients to help regulate their nervous system and to help their family members go regulate with them.  Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this very short episode, Beth was so inspired immediately following a counseling session with a man in his late 60s that she wanted to record this podcast. Her client Joe is blind and has had two organ transplants and faced much adversity due to health problems. And yet he, a retired chemist and chef, continues to develop proactive ideas to help inner city and aging people get access to better nutrition. During their counseling session, he shared a YouTube video, by Admiral William McRaven, called “One Person Can Change the World: The Power of Hope” with tears streaming down his face. It was very powerful for Beth to see a man who struggles to walk and to see, and how he's still trying to change the world, one step at a time. These are the types of conversations that Beth feels are so sacred they must be shared with others.  Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today Joe Timberlake returns to Never Perfect for a conversation about addiction recovery and recovery (previous podcast, was called “The Journey to Good Enough”). Joe has been in recovery for about 35 years, and he talks about his journey as a sponsor and a sponsee, and what that looks like. Beth and Joe talk about a little bit of everything related to Recovery. Including conversation about the attempt to fill our voids, imposter syndrome, Dumping your pain, connection and isolation, dropoing the rock, asking God to.remove our defects of character, a problem shared is a problem halved, isolation, shame and self hatred, assuming sponsors are too busy or they aren't important enough , looking for something to fill your void or satisfy the existential ache inside you, engaging with others, the rules of engagement, the power of sharing things out loud, the importance of accepting powerlessness, that's when it's unmanageable, positive rules of engagement, etc. Joe has a wealth of wisdom and experience to share. Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Physical therapist and former NFL player Nic Colbert shares his life story and mental health of battling depression from early childhood through the present. Nic vulnerably shares his experience of shame, low self-worth, and self harm over the years and how he has grown and use therapy over the last seven years to get to his healthiest place.  Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tiffany Dorizas, wife and mother of 5 adolescents, has a refreshing perspective on hospitality, and takes a casual approach to having people over and gives herself permission to never make it perfect. That's why she posts videos on social media about how to make it easy. Very few people have the gift of hospitality, but maybe that would change if we shifted our view of it and the implications of it. Perfectionism is one of the biggest obstacles. Letting others into your home and into your space creates connection and a sense of belonging, like being part of your family. We all want to feel like part of others lives and so many people are lonely. It still means a lot to be invited, even if the house is messy, and the food gets burnt!  Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In the second episode with Jason, a middle aged carpenter, he shares his story about being on the brink of divorce, and how he and his wife turned things around in just a few short months. This was accomplished by starting to dialogue with his wife about the false assumptions and narratives, and gradually building a new connection Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Part 1 with Jason, a middle aged carpenter: In this episode, he describes how he benefited from therapy as an adolescent, and again in adulthood. Growing up, he developed a lot of false assumptions and unhealthy narratives; he often felt like a disappointment to his parents, and assumed they were more proud of his sisters, and of him. He realized, “I never developed healthy ways of communicating so all I had left was to assume. Assumptions have really dug me into holes my entire life.” He talked about feeling like a failure in school and then again, professionally as a line cook, but eventually , he says “a lot of things changed for me when I gave up on trying to please my parents. “He now realizes that it's important to do things for himself, and not based on false (or true) narratives about what others want.  Feel free to pick your favorite title or create a better one! Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

After a comical discussion about “dry January” and the health benefits of not drinking, Beth and Kat (certified Enneagram teacher and co-host of the Enneagram + Yoga podcast) launch into a discussion about how the Enneagram helps us “ understand the motivations, the fears, and behaviors of people that you're in relationship with, and have kindness and compassion for that because they are different from you and they see things different and they are motivated and fearful about different things”. Many of us naturally gravitate toward a person who has strengths and qualities that we don't possess, but these differences often result in a disconnect down the road if communication skills are lacking (as they generally are, in most relationships!). The very differences that attract us to people can eventually drive us apart or drive us crazy! The Gottmans' state that couples can work through “ perpetual issues and unsolvable problems” by dialoguing about them to get unstuck and change your perception about them. Kat works with couples as an Enneagram coach to help them “be their best self and their most authentic self “by helping them understand questions like “what makes you tick? Why do you do things you do? Why do you react a certain way, or see things a certain way? Why do you resolve conflict in a certain way? “ Kat believes that without addressing these questions, “you can't grow.”  Kat Smith Yoga Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Bethany Whitted, an expert in the psychology of organizations, team dynamics, leadership discusses authenticity and why it matters in individuals lives. She explains what authenticity is, and how it starts and what gets in the way of it.. essentially it is the degree to which one is true to their real self, including personality, spirit, and character.  Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Beth interviews nurse coach Therese Parks to find out the numerous benefits of meeting with a nurse coach, which seems to be a mix of having a medical cheerleader and a personal organizer for your medical information. Nurse coaches might come for a home visit or attend doctors appointments with you and even go to the grocery store with you to help guide you in your food choices. Therese is a big fan of making a medical notebook for patients with all of their medical information, including medicines, specialist, medical conditions, records of various health information, such as blood pressure, oxygen levels, blood sugar levels, etc. Therese also shares some very helpful information from the functional medicine course she is currently taking.  Using Food As Medicine 6 Reasons For Food Diversity Just Be Well By Thomas Sult MD Chronic Disease Infographic Annual Checkups Help Seniors Thrive What is Nurse Coaching Glucose Goddess Hacks Seed Oils Bad For You Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is Beth's long overdue podcast on the Cluster B Personality disorders, honing in specifically on a subtype of covert narcissism called “vulnerable narcissism” (see attached article for more details.) This insecurity or vulnerability is often surprising since most people associate narcissism with arrogance or feelings of superiority (which can be more of a defensive posture/facade). Beth reviews many of the basic traits of narcissistic personality disorder, and shares a little bit about the other cluster B personality disorders, (Borderline and Narcissistic) and shares a couple of Client examples.  12 Signs of a Vulnerable Narcissist Understanding Cluster B Personality Disorders Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this short episode, after Dr. Beth throws herself under the bus for some of her own unhealthy drinking habits, she shares some of the biggest reasons for cutting back or stopping drinking. Her reasons includes the impact on relationships, mental health, physical health, disease, aging, and the increased likelihood of being a victim (or perpetrator) of assaults, accidents, etc.  Alcohol and Aggression Drinking Alcohol and the Risk of Violence Drinking Too Much Alcohol Can Harm Your Health How Drinking Ages You Traumatic Effects of Alcoholism on Families Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kelsi Ray became a believer in the effectiveness of neurofeedback through the benefits she received personally — brain mapping and training led to such significant decreases in anxiety and depression that Kelsi got off of medication completely and has maintained these results for the past 5 years. After mapping Dr. Beth's brain, Kelsi Ray of Tennessee Neurofeedback explains the basics of Neurofeedback to Beth and her friend Amanda Tarr (friend and previous podcast guest.) Kelsi shares a bit about different types of brain waves, how they are mapped and retrained, and how Neurofeedback Treatment works.  Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, Dr. Beth is going to be talking about the advantages and disadvantages of knowing your diagnosis, that is, if you have one… She has been involved of some lively discussions in our about whether it's beneficial to get evaluated (or diagnosed) for a condition that you might have. Beth recalls conversation with someone last fall, who said “ all of my children probably have ADHD, but I never wanted to get them tested because I didn't want them to have a label or to feel like something was wrong with them.” Although many people might agree with this sentiment, others would disagree, the bottom line is figuring out what seems healthiest and best for yourself and your loved ones long-term. Beth talks about the pros and cons of understanding your brain and your nervous system. This is part of developing your personal users manual, which is one of her favorite concepts to discuss with clients. None of us knows what it feels like to be in another person‘s body, so sometimes it's difficult to know if we are suffering with a mental health condition, or if we are neurodivergent in some way… many people ask, “Is this normal? Do other people feel this angry, depressed, moody? Why am I struggling to make friends? Why do I procrastinate all the time?” It's hard for us to know how our own experience compares with others, so a diagnostic questionnaire can help us figure out whether we meet criteria for a certain mental health condition or learning disorder, etc. Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We need to help the next generation and see their gifts, and to believe in them, often before they even see the best in themselves and have a positive narrative about themselves. Unfortunately teens are often miss portrayed and seen in a negative light. Research has shown that most adults hold negative biases about teenagers. And yet teens long to be understood and viewed in a favorable light, and they want advice from adults who view them this way, but frequently this seems unavailable. After 20 years of working with teenagers, Young Life Director Jason Cha shares some insights about how teens want adults in their lives treat them and view them. Jason shares research showing that the vast majority of teenagers want advice from adults, but most of them never seek it out because they don't trust that they will be understood. Jason and Beth discuss generational and cultural differences between teens and adults, as well as timeless issues that transcend them.  Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ella Green is a high school senior, who shares her story of anxiety, trauma, and loss as a “tween” and how multiple losses in her life crippled her and brought her to her knees, literally. She's written a book about her experience with debilitating anxiety and how her faith carried her through. Read Ella's Book Here: "Dear Anxious Mind" Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Joe Timberlake is a businessman and yoga instructor, who grew up with alcoholic father. He never felt good enough: his father was always critical and disappointed in him. As a young adult, Joe himself discovered that alcohol, lowered his social anxiety and made him the life of the party, so he became an addict himself. At age 35, Joe became sober and benefited greatly from 12 step, meetings, and sponsors. He healed from his childhood trauma and rose above the abusive relationship with his father, and was able to reconcile with him after many years of spending time with him, and continuing to endure criticism. Joe explains how he achieved peace through his own work, and eventually reconcile with his father. He wrote a book about his story called “The Attorney” The Attorney by Joe Timberlake Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today Dr. Beth is thrilled to have relationship expert. Dr. Carol Stoney return to discuss the ongoing conflicts and struggles that all couples deal with. They discuss Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman's research, specifically their work on perpetual problems and unsolvable issues. No matter who you end up with, you will have a distinctive set of issues pop up, and more than 2/3 of these issues will never resolve, but need to be discussed to get out of gridlock. Dr. Stoney reminds us that at least 2/3 of our differences will never be agreed upon. Some of her advice: we need to take responsibility for our own part and admit that often “we don't manage ourselves very well “when we have an issue with our partners. we need to look at our “action tendencies “and to understand ourselves, rather than pointing the finger at others (which is the natural tendency.) we often treat our partner like the enemy, partly because our nervous system‘s are wired to be constantly “checking for safety. “ Dr. Stoney says that couples “quickly lose the feeling that we're on the same team. “ she often Reminds couples to “connect and then correct.” we all need to feel that we are “in a safe pair of hands” with our partner. Our partners actually want to please us, whether we realize it or not. She also recommends the imago profile as a tool for understanding our triggers and patterns and relationships. And Baby Makes Three: The Six-Step Plan for Preserving Marital Intimacy and Rekindling Romance After Baby Arrives Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do you define success ? Is it based on the money you make? Or status? or does it relate to finding a job that matches your gifts and passions? You have the right to define success in your own way, and not in the way that society, or even your family might measure it. Many people feel like failures, because they never give themselves permission to discover their gifts or pursue a Calling, that might not be perceived as successful to everyone . In this episode, Beth talks to Artist AJ Azike about his experience of going from real estate flipper to artist. AJ describes his passion for living in the moment, and sucking the marrow out of life through art, people, and exploration. He shares his perspective on what constitutes a meaningful and fulfilling. What makes a person feel content intrinsically rather than extrinsically?  Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Beth provides a basic description of OCD, using clinical examples and sharing her favorite ways to explain and understand OCD. Almost everyone has intrusive or unwanted thoughts at times, which is the nature of obsession, but this does not mean they have OCD, unless they meet diagnostic criteria for the Disorder. The compulsion is the repetitive behavior or mental act that is used to lower anxiety/distress about the obsession. Beth some of her own personal intrusive thoughts as well as clinical stories. She likes to remind clients that obsessions are unwanted, so they should not feel guilty about having them; they are common thoughts, impulses, or images that pop into our heads. Most people with OCD need a lot of reassurance and second-guess themselves, and they sort of let their mind play tricks on them.  Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices