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3 episodes with gottmans
2 episodes with gottmans
2 episodes with gottmans
2 episodes with gottmans
2 episodes with gottmans
2 episodes with gottmans
2 episodes with gottmans
2 episodes with gottmans
2 episodes with gottmans
The Gottman Institute has been studying couples for decades. They are one of the only empirically backed institutes that has such long term studies on couples. They've pretty much cracked the code on what actually makes a couple stay together or get divorced. Pretty amazing work they've done. The basis to the Gottmans work is something called The Four Horsemen. Four communication styles that are proven to create major foundational cracks in your relationship if done consistently. They are: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling. I dive deep into explaining each one and what they look like within an argument. This is an important episode if you're trying to work on your relationship or prevent future issues. If you liked my style and are thinking about therapy I'm currently taking client! Reach out below!https://loveyouevenmore.com/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thejacquelinebrubakerIG: https://www.instagram.com/jacquelinebrubaker/Support the show
Struggling to understand what makes a relationship flourish over time? In this eye-opening episode with Dutch-American psychologist Julie Sharon, we uncover the science-backed secrets that separate thriving marriages from those that falter.When couples find themselves locked in the same frustrating conflict patterns, the answer might be surprisingly physiological. Julie reveals how a racing heart (over 100 BPM) signals we've entered "fight or flight" mode—a state where productive communication becomes nearly impossible. Learn why taking a structured 20-30 minute break can transform heated arguments into constructive conversations, and why agreeing to return to difficult topics builds crucial trust.The episode dives deep into the Gottmans' groundbreaking research on "bids for connection"—those small moments when we reach toward our partner for acknowledgment or engagement. Julie explains why couples who respond positively to these bids 86% of the time stay happily married, while those responding only 33% of the time face relationship breakdown. These seemingly minor interactions create what she calls an "emotional bank account" that buffers relationships during inevitable conflicts.Beyond the research, Julie shares practical tools you can implement today: the stress-reducing conversation (listening without solving), effective repair attempts after conflicts, and creating a culture of appreciation and kindness. She emphasizes that healthy relationships aren't conflict-free—they simply maintain a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative interactions during disagreements.Ready to transform your relationship? Start by looking inward at your own contributions rather than focusing on your partner's shortcomings. As Julie reminds us: "Slow down, take a look inside. Don't respond too quickly. Think before you act, think before you speak, feel before you speak."Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com
Er det mulig å leve sammen lenge – og fortsatt føle glede, nærhet og lyst? I denne episoden ser vi nok en gang på forsking og finner hva som kjennetegner par som lykkes i det lange løp. Vi tar utgangspunkt i et ærlig og sårbart lytterbrev fra en mann som er ufrivillig singel, og som undrer seg over om det noen gang vil lykkes for ham – og hva som skal til for å få kjærligheten til å vare.I 2022 ble det registrert 8 204 skilsmisser i Norge, det laveste tallet siden 1986! Hvis dagens trender fortsetter, anslås det at 37,1 prosent av ekteskap inngått nå vil ende i skilsmisse - men her er ikke de som "bare" er samboere tatt med - så taller er høyere. Og mange har både to og tre samvisbrudd bak seg.. Handler det bare om flaks og kjemi – eller finnes det mønstre og valg som faktisk gjør en forskjell?Vi leter etter svar fra både Dr. John Gottmans banebrytende studier på parforhold og Esther Perels refleksjoner rundt begjær, autonomi og lengsel i langvarige relasjoner. Vi snakker også om hvordan parforhold påvirker selvfølelsen vår – og hvorfor det er viktig å føle seg som seg selv i møte med den andre og mye mer... Som alltid får du noen enkle refleksjonsspørsmål du kan ta med deg videre - for hva som er riktig for deg, vet bare du... Hva trenger du for å føle deg fri – og samtidig knyttet?Hvordan ønsker du å bli møtt i et forhold?Hva slags kjærlighet ønsker du å skape?Lytt med hjerte og nysgjerrighet – uansett om du er i et forhold, ønsker deg et, eller prøver å forstå hvorfor det er så vanskelig - og hvordan det kan bli litt lettere med et lite perspektiv skifte...Om du vil lære mer om dette kan du sjekke ut Gottmans "Love Lab" som har over 40 års forskning på par. Han snakker også om de fire rytterene (The Four Horsemen): Kritikk, forakt, forsvarsposisjon og stonewalling – tegnene som varsler trøbbel. Hva lykkelige par gjør i følge Gottmann:De bygger et sterkt vennskap.De reparerer konflikter tidlig.De viser "bids for connection" – og svarer på dem.De har en kultur for takknemlighet og humor.De kjenner hverandres indre verden (drømmer, frykt, verdier)Og vil du ha hjelp til å finne ut av verdiene dine - sjekk ut boken vår for å ta kontroll over eget stress og bli bedre i balanse så du kan finne Og husk : Kjærlighet er ikke bare følelser – det er også ferdigheter. Relasjoner må pleies, og det krever bevissthet og arbeid.Å være et lykkelig par handler ikke om å unngå problemer, men om hvordan man møter dem.Et ektepar kan ikke gi hverandre alt – men kan gi hverandre nok, når begge tar ansvar for både seg selv og forholdet.
Life doesn't care about your plans—it throws curveballs. In this episode, we dive into the mindset required to turn adversity into strength. From a hilarious text mishap to a personal story involving my 75-year-old mother stranded on the road, we explore how family, grit, and perspective fuel resilience. Drawing insights from “Fight Right” and SEAL training, we break down how real toughness is forged—through chaos, not comfort. With strategies like journaling, kihon-level discipline, and embracing discomfort, we arm you with tools to stay grounded, push forward, and grow stronger through life's storms. This is the warrior's path.--------- EPISODE CHAPTERS ---------(0:00:05) - Navigating Stress and Problem Solving(0:11:31) - Transforming Adversity(0:21:54) - Building Resilience and Grit Through Experience(0:30:22) - Navigating Growth and Self-Improvement(0:38:16) - Reflecting on Resilience and Growth(0:48:51) - Empowering Through Life's ChallengesSend us a text
Ever feel like one tiny argument spirals into a full-blown meltdown—and you don't even remember what started it? In this raw and transformative solo episode, Sabrina Zohar dives deep into the psychology and neuroscience of reactivity, conflict, and emotional regulation. Using personal stories, real client insights, and powerful research-backed tools, she breaks down how childhood programming wires us for knee-jerk reactions—and how to break the cycle. Whether you're anxious, avoidant, or somewhere in between, you'll walk away with practical ways to pause, process, and respond without losing yourself in the heat of the moment. This episode is packed with actionable frameworks like the 90-Second Rule, STOP Method, and Nonviolent Communication, plus insights from experts like Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, the Gottmans, and Dr. Susan David. If you're ready to stop reenacting old trauma in your adult relationships and start showing up with more clarity, empathy, and self-trust, this one's for you. Perfect for anyone navigating conflict with a partner, family, or even your own inner critic. MERCH IS NOW AVAILABLE! Stuck After the Podcast? Master Implementation in 8 Weeks with Sabrina's Foundation Course HERE! Do you feel like your emotions run the show and react in ways you can't control? Join the Nervous System 101: Navigating the Unknowns In Early Dating from Sabrina and Masha Kay HERE! Struggling with a breakup? Join the Make It Make Sense: Getting Through a Breakup course from Sabrina and Britt Frank HERE! Get Ad free HERE! Want to work with Sabrina? HERE! Don't forget to follow Sabrina and The Sabrina Zohar Show on Instagram and Sabrina on TikTok! Video now available on YOUTUBE! Please support our sponsors! Hero Bread is offering 10% off your order. Go to hero.co and use code SABRINA at checkout You can focus on the care your pet deserves and cover what matters most. Explore coverage options for your pet with ASPCA Pet Health Insurance HERE! Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formally known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity.
The second and most destructive of the four “horseman” that the Gottmans identify as a relationship killer is contempt. Contempt involves taking a one-up position of superiority and shaming the other person. The antidote to contempt is a culture of appreciation in the relationship. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/QmOqghcAoOU *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/
In this episode of Let's Talk Love, Robin has the incredible honor of speaking with two of the world's leading relationship experts, Dr. John and Dr. Julie Gottman. With decades of groundbreaking research, the Gottmans have transformed our understanding of love, offering science-backed insights into what makes relationships thrive.Their latest book, Fight Right, reframes conflict as an opportunity for growth rather than something to fear. In this conversation, they share practical tools for navigating disagreements with trust, curiosity, and mutual respect. Robin and the Gottmans explore different conflict styles, the importance of maintaining a strong foundation of positive interactions, and how to repair and reconnect after difficult moments.Whether you're navigating everyday disagreements or deeper relationship challenges, this episode is packed with actionable insights to help you and your partner strengthen your bond—even when you don't see eye to eye. And for those joining In Bloom: A Love & Relationships Summit this April, you'll have the chance to learn from the Gottmans in person!Takeaways:Relationships can be improved with learned skills.Conflict is not inherently dysfunctional; it can be constructive.Softened startups in conflict discussions lead to better outcomes.Understanding your partner's dreams can resolve gridlock conflicts.69% of relationship problems are perpetual and unsolvable.Curiosity about your partner is essential for long-term relationships.There are key questions you can ask to deepen understanding in conflicts.Mutual understanding is the ultimate goal in conflict resolution.The ratio of positive to negative statements during conflict is crucial.All three conflict styles can be successful with the right approach.Missed bids for connection often lead to unnecessary conflicts.Trust means considering your partner's perspective when making decisions.Commitment involves addressing issues directly with your partner.Regrettable incidents should be processed thoughtfully, not rushed.Understanding each other's vulnerabilities fosters deeper connections.Join Us at In Bloom 2025
John & Julie Gottman founded the Love Lab at the UW in Seattle, WA which can predict with 94% accuracy whether a couple will stay together based on observing the first several minutes of their argument. The Gottmans discovered four relationship killers called “the four horsemen”; the first one being criticism. Criticism is when you attack the person or character rather than address the behaviors. The relationship antidote to criticism is a soft startup. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/2PUwgGAViUE *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/
In this episode of Birth, Baby! Podcast, host Ciarra Morgan discusses the challenges of postpartum relationships with guest Shelley Scotka, a certified childbirth educator and postpartum doula. They explore the 'Bringing Baby Home' program developed by the Gottmans, which focuses on improving couple relationships during the transition to parenthood. The conversation highlights the importance of communication, conflict resolution, and the need for couples to prioritize their relationship amidst the challenges of parenting. Shelley shares insights on the structure of her workshops and the benefits of evidence-based practices in supporting families during this critical time.Shelley Scotka is a certified Gottman Bringing Baby Home Instructor, a certified Childbirth Educator and a certified birth and postpartum doula. She has been supporting families since 1998 through prenatal education, labor and birth support and postpartum care, and is so excited to be adding the Love Strong After Baby workshops to her offerings. She recognizes bringing a baby home can be one of life's most amazing and challenging journeys and is dedicated to helping families navigate this bumpy territory! She has been married for over 35 years and has grown "babies" of her own (ages 28/31)Instagram @ShelleyScotka Website: www.shelleyscotka.com (Info about these workshops is under parent education)Workshop inquiry email lovestrongafterbaby@gmail.comPlease feel free to reach out to us with any recommendations for show episode ideas. If you'd like to be a guest, email us with some information about yourself and what type of podcast you'd like to record together. Thank you for all of your support and don't forget to follow and review our podcast, Birth, Baby!Instagram: @BirthBabyPodcastEmail: BirthBabyPodcast@gmail.comWebsite: www.BirthBabyPodcast.comIntro and Outro music by Longing for Orpheus. You can find them on Spotify! (00:00) - Introduction and Overview of the Podcast (02:31) - Introducing Shelley Scotka and Her Expertise (03:00) - Understanding the 'Bringing Baby Home' Program (06:36) - Challenges of Postpartum Relationships (10:44) - Navigating Perpetual Conflicts in Relationships (14:58) - The Importance of Communication in Parenting (17:39) - Adapting the Program for Postpartum Couples (22:54) - Workshop Structure and Goals (26:51) - Options for Remote Learning and Support (28:39) - Conclusion and Future Workshops
In this episode of Mindfully Masculine, Charles and Dan dive deep into conflict resolution strategies inspired by The Man's Guide to Women by the Gottmans. This episode isn't just about fighting—it's about learning how to navigate disagreements with greater empathy, patience, and self-awareness.Key Highlights:Understanding Conflict: Why conflict is inevitable in relationships and how to embrace it as part of healthy connection.Biological Differences: How men and women experience and process anger differently—and why understanding this can improve communication.Self-Soothing for Men: Practical techniques like deep breathing, taking breaks, and diaphragmatic breathing to regulate emotional responses during heated moments.Critical Questions to Ask: The three essential questions to uncover the root of your partner's frustration— "What do you need?", "What are you concerned about?", and "What are you feeling?"Managing Defensiveness: How to avoid the common trap of defensiveness by validating your partner's emotions without jumping to solutions or rebuttals.The Power of Taking Breaks: Why a 20-30 minute break during conflict can lead to better outcomes, and how to effectively communicate the need for space.Why You Should Listen:This episode isn't about "winning" arguments—it's about mastering the art of managing emotions and building stronger, more connected relationships. If you've ever struggled with feeling misunderstood or defensive during disagreements, Charles and Dan offer actionable insights that will help you fight smarter, not harder.Listen Now to Discover:How to break free from destructive fight-or-flight patterns.Simple yet powerful habits that can transform your approach to relationship conflict.Why emotional regulation is key to fostering long-term relationship success.Tune in and learn why "fighting like a girl" might just be the best relationship advice you've ever received.Keywords for Search Optimization:Relationship conflict resolution, men's emotional health, healthy fighting in relationships, Gottman relationship advice, conflict management for men, improving communication in relationships, relationship podcast for men, self-soothing techniques, emotional intelligence for men.Support the show
This episode is brought to you by Ollie, Lifeforce, and Lumebox. Relationships, communication, and intimacy are the cornerstones of meaningful connections in our lives, yet they often present some of our greatest challenges. In today's episode, leading experts explore the keys to fostering deeper relationships, improving communication, and creating lasting intimacy, offering practical tools to transform how we connect with those we love. Today on The Dhru Purohit Show, we bring you a special compilation episode featuring Dhru's conversations with experts on relationships, connection, and intimacy. Drs. John and Julie Gottman discuss the importance of recognizing what your partner is doing right. They also highlight key findings from a seven-year study on happiness, including how to turn toward your partner and implement bids for connection. Dr. Emily Morse explains why scheduling intimacy—even if it feels like a chore—is crucial for maintaining a healthy relationship. She also dives into the "Three T's of Communication" and how to initiate conversations about intimacy. Esther Perel shares why letting go of the need to be right is essential, along with strategies to overcome the overwhelming feeling of disconnect when your partner doesn't see your point of view. She breaks down how all fights connect to core pillars and offers tips on practicing mirroring for better understanding. If you're ready to enhance your relationships and improve your communication and intimacy, this episode is a must-listen! In this episode, Dhru and his guests dive into: Evidence that your partner is doing things right (2:00) Seven-year study on happiness and turning toward your partner (3:10) Bid for connection and how to implement it (6:18) Interdependence versus independence (16:12) Scheduling intimacy (20:35) Who should initiate the conversation (23:35) The 3 T's of communication: Timing, Tone, and Turf (25:15) Mirroring what you heard (29:15) Initiating the conversation and carrying the burden (33:25) The need to be right (39:52) The overwhelming feeling of disconnect (42:57) Catching yourself, listening, and mirroring (46:32) The core pillars: What all fights are about (53:15) Final thoughts (56:30) Drs. John and Julia Gottman have studied over 3,000 couples and through their research have found the secrets to successful partnerships. The Gottmans help give individuals the tools they need to listen and connect with their partner while providing a safe space for conversation and growth without criticism or contempt. Dr. Emily Morse is the host of the award-winning number one sexuality podcast, Sex With Emily, which has been on the air for nearly two decades. Esther Perel is a psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author, and is recognized as one of today's most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Esther is also an executive producer and host of the popular podcast Where Should We Begin? and How's Work? Also mentioned: Why Nobody Is Having Great Sex & How To Make it Amazing with Dr. Emily Morse 4 Big Signs That a Relationship Won't Last and the Latest Science on Creating Love with Drs. Julie and John Gottman Why Some Relationships Don't Last With Esther Perel This episode is brought to you by Ollie, Lifeforce, and Lumebox. Want to give your dog the best in clean eating? Take the online quiz and introduce Ollie to your pet. Right now, Ollie is offering 60% off your first box of meals when you subscribe today! Just head to Ollie.com, use the code DHRU and you'll get 60% off your first box of meals in your subscription. Right now, you can save $250 on your first diagnostic and get personalized suggestions. Optimize your longevity and track your progress; go to mylifeforce.com/dhru! Lumebox is offering my community 50% off their portable Red Light device for Black Friday! Just go to thelumebox.com/dhru to get your device. Sale ends 12/2. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Is there a way to switch gears even when you're running late, overhwhelmed, and already past crispy? Isabelle and David explore how changing gears, especially during a transition--whether it's starting a conversation, leaving the house, beginning a work task--is up to us and how hard and real the struggle is and how important it can be to get your reps in. From potato sprouts and Carl Rogers, to neurodivergent trauma as culture, to all those half finished water bottles underneath your carseat, this conversation embraces what it means to share collective wounds as well as adaptations to a world not built for neurodivergent folx.----Isabelle (speaking of a hard moment trying to get herself and her kids out the door when they're already running so late and then stopping, covering her eyes and ears, and just sitting on the couch)-- thought this "busy-ness" was a personality trait, moving on to the next, to the next, to the next—to always be busy, harried, running behind. And you can't expect the environment to stop when things feel like too much. Pandemic was not a blessing in disguise (that's BS), and Isabelle's experience was that on top of the systemic and personal trauma and wanting to chew her own arm off, it was the first time the world did stop to a degree—it took a lot of demands and choices off the table for her. How often when she is burned out and crispy does she want the world to stop, for things to slow down, to quiet down on a sensory level. And when the world stopped, that wasn't the answer either, she actually found herself doing more—it's a lot to realize that the world won't stop for you and even when it does, it doesn't address the overwhelm problem. David names that a lot of social expectations changed—doing laundry, doing hygiene. Finding out which things were effective and which weren't was a lot then. In couples, there's a big difference between a harsh versus a soft startup, taken from the work of the Gottmans (see links below). The harsh versus soft start up through transitions—are you giving yourself a harsh or a soft start up to a task? What do you need to transition to a particular activity—do you want to get there late, stressed, sweaty? Or do you want to get there and be bored for a bit, because you're about to read to kids in a library and need to come in with less energy? When Isabelle sits and asks for help, she interrupts and resets a harsh start up to a soft start up. She is doing for herself what she wishes another person would do. Sits her down, has her take a moment, helps take away the expectations and demands. Bobby can do that sometimes, but also she can't expect someone to do that everyday. And it helps her get reps at switching from a soft to a harsh transition. She didn't think she had a gear shift; she was on and off. It's existential, you have to reset your own expectations and what it means to stop. Isabelle has to unmask, and reveal how vulnerable she is and ask for what she needs, she has to face trauma. A client of hers recently invented (she thinks?) This term “ADHD trauma.” Being neurodivergent in a neurotypical world that's constructed to benefit and aid neurotypical ways of being generates trauma by virtue of the not having the right manual. And David calls this ADHD culture. We have different problems with friend groups or making purchases or being an imposter, the thing that makes this podcast fun to listen to. Culture is defined by how we dance with trauma. Every kind of culture—race, class, etc.—sets the standard of how you interact with the world. The feeling of going into a class and forgetting you had a test; all those empty water bottles under the seats, if you could clap your hands and the pile of laundry, the corner you forgot existed—and suddenly we feel better because you're not the one who is like that. Does having ADHD make me allergic to rigid capitalist systems? There's two people: the ADHD person is going to look down at the cliff and see apples and yells “apples!” And then the other person hears “oh, apples?” and makes an apple farm. We're not all the same but we do have something in common. Anything that overwhelms our capacity to cope or unable to change it—isn't any identity the world wants you to change but you can't going to set you up for overwhelming your capacity to cope (you can't run from it, hide it, fight it, play dead…etc.) David has a thought: when he was getting kicked out of school, his brain coded that as bad. Fast forward, he ended up going to grad school at Northwestern. And not a lot of people at Northwestern got kicked out of high school. It's definitely not something that you talked about. But then, he started working and advocating with Eye to Eye and other groups—suddenly, his story had worth. The amount of relief he started to see on kids faces that “oh, you can recover from every mistake” and he wasn't proud when it happened, but now it's an important part of his origin story. In community and connection, the very thing you're hiding is what I'm hiding--whoa, we don't have to hide, how much energy we get from not hiding this thing? When David first went to Northwestern he would lie and tell people he went to a local “multidirectional school" —those people weren't good people and he didn't want to be branded with those people. Isabelle doesn't want to say where she went to college. Because people from our culture don't go to schools like that (like Harvard?) David had no models, didn't know how to say it. Everyone ‘thinks they're the mistake.” Pause for effect, Isabelle went back and looked through her old medical records and she got her records from counseling while at college. In those clinical notes she received an ADHD diagnosis; multiple sessions where she as a client thought she had ADHD, and as many listeners will remember, she didn't know she had ADHD until 15 years later. Isn't that really interesting—isn't that interesting that she was never told she was diagnosed with ADHD, there was no affirmation or information, and in the notes it indicated even why she was even given the type of antidepressant or weaned off, she walked around telling everyone who knew her "I think I have ADHD because I can't focus anymore.” She wasn't told she had a diagnosis. Even when she asked point blank. The world 25 years ago was really different, how much they maybe saved her from a tougher road. When you're "not supposed to" be there, the messages you get at each of these places, to hide, to shame, to silence, to minimize. "Everyone has some ADHD, right?" The masking component has more consequences to neurospicy culture. We don't have the same the care and feeding instructions as the people around us, we'll still grow but it's not the same. A potato sprout is going to grow and develop no matter what situation you're in, whether the potato is in the root cellar or planted in the earth (as Carl Rogers states, see actual full quote below). Across animal groups, culture is modifying your environment in order to adapt, at least how Isabelle learned what culture was when studying archaeology and social anthropology in college. We started to cook as a form of survival, the culture we form is the things we try to do to survive and adapt. Because we have to survive and shelter in the same places. Isabelle feels way better being a potato in the root cellar around potatoes also in the root cellar. Or at least better than the shriveled magic spell potato you find behind the drawer—forgotten produce! Another feature of neurodivergent culture.DEFINITIONS
This week, I'm rebroadcasting a minisode where I explore a powerful concept from relationship experts John and Julie Gottman. The Gottmans introduced the idea of The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, and it has helped me personally in my relationships a great deal. In this minisode, I break down each Horseman, share real-life examples, and provide a resource to help you apply the antidotes to these common behaviors. It's simple but deeply impactful. Resources: Private Coaching with Andrea Article on the four horsemen The four horsemen antidotes Article on physiological flooding Book recommendations: I love a good personal development book, and you do too, right? I've compiled a list of book recommendations, as mentioned in past episodes. Check out these amazing book recommendations here. Happy reading! MSN is supported by: We love the sponsors that make our show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: andreaowen.com/sponsors/ Episode link: http://andreaowen.com/631 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
After 50 years of research, the Gottmans can predict with 90% accuracy if a relationship is doomed for divorce, these are the answers to love you've been searching for Drs. John and Julie Gottman are professional relationship researchers that have published over 200 academic journal articles and 46 books. They are the co-founders of The Gottman Institute and Love Lab. In this conversation, the Gottmans and Steven discuss topics such as, how to repair from an affair, why dating apps are broken, the facts behind an awful sex life, and why to stop chasing the idea of 'the one'. (00:00) Intro (02:28) What Do You Do? (05:08) What We Doing Wrong About Dating (09:55) How Do We Find True Love? (11:39) What Is The Most Attractive Thing In A Person? (13:51) The Role Of Self Esteem In How Attractive You Come Across (16:13) There Isn'T 'The One' (18:30) Are We Attracted To People Different To Us? (21:11) Do We Need To Lower Our Expectations (24:52) It'S A Red Flag When They Want To Rush Things (29:06) Can You Fake Confidence? (31:25) Science Know If People Connect Well Or Not (35:13) How To Build Confidence (38:04) Differences Between Gender In Attraction (39:37) Why People Need Alcohol When Dating (44:29) Is Good Enough, Enough To Be With Soemone? (48:06) The Role Of Sex In Attraction (53:40) How To Spice Things Up (57:46) How Much Sex Should We Be Having? (01:03:21) Men Struggle To Talk About Their Feelings (01:09:36) Expressing Gratitude To Your Partner (01:15:55) How To Know If You Should Break Up (01:19:24) The 4 Horsemen Of The Apocalpse In A Relationship (01:25:02) Insecure People Are More Defensive (01:32:19) Do Homosexuals Relationships Last Longer? (01:33:45) Gaslighting (01:38:32) Why People Stay With Gashlighter Or Abusers (01:41:24) How To Help People Going Through Domestic Violence (01:45:01) Treating Affairs (01:47:45) What Percentage Of People Have Affairs? (02:00:42) Does Cheating Help A Relationship? (02:03:34) The Importance Of Connection Follow the Gottmans: Instagram - https://g2ul0.app.link/66wXYNo5QMb Twitter - https://g2ul0.app.link/5htmCbr5QMb The Gottman Institute - https://g2ul0.app.link/KlYOelu5QMb YouTube: You can purchase the Gottmans' book, ‘Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict into Connection', here: https://amzn.to/4emRC7u Spotify: You can purchase the Gottmans' book, ‘Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict into Connection', here: https://g2ul0.app.link/KosccZE5QMb Watch the episodes on Youtube - https://g2ul0.app.link/DOACEpisodes My new book! 'The 33 Laws Of Business & Life' is out now - https://g2ul0.app.link/DOACBook Follow me: https://g2ul0.app.link/gnGqL4IsKKb Get your hands on the brand new Diary Of A CEO Conversation Cards here: https://appurl.io/iUUJeYn25v Sponsors: Shopify - http://shopify.com/bartlett
John and Julie Gottman are world-renowned relationship researchers and psychologists who have been happily married for the past 37 years. They've authored more than 40 books together, including Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict Into Connection. On this week's episode of Everyday Better, the Gottmans join Leah to share their perspectives on conflict resolution in relationships. They explain how disagreements, whether at home or in the office, present opportunities to strengthen bonds and deepen connections. They also discuss the three main styles of conflict management in couple relationships and propose a new method for voicing dissatisfaction that moves from criticizing to complaint-making. Follow Leah Smart on LinkedIn. Follow The Gottman Institute on LinkedIn. For more on conflict resolution in relationships, check out the Gottmans' latest book, Fight Right. And, don't forget to sign up for Leah's weekly newsletter to get practical tips on how to level up with small steps every day.
Relationship Experts Drs. John & Julie Gottman EXPOSE the SHOCKING REASON Why Relationships Fail. 94% Accurate Divorce Predictions: Discover the biggest predictors that guarantee which marriages will crumble and how to get the LOVE you WANT! The Gottman duo are world leading relationship researchers that have been studying couples for over 40 years, publishing over 200 academic journal articles and 46 books. They are the co-founders of The Gottman Institute and Love Lab. Drs Gottman drop the ULTIMATE Relationship Bombshells, including the 4 Horsemen of Relationship Apocalypse (Spot these 4 predictors of relationship demise before they DESTROY your love life!), PLUS....learn the #1 skill for Connection and BETTER SEX! Your relationship is either HELPING or HARMING you HEALTH, and is a big factor in how you fight disease. The Gottmans also break down:- The #1 Cause of CHEATING & how it can lead to PTSD- Childhood Trauma's Hidden Role in Relationships: How a lack of positive relationship role models can WRECK your marriage- Ways to better support your partner's trauma- Why Addiction can spell disaster for even the strongest of relationships- Phases of recovery from affairs & other forms of betrayal- How to argue with your partner in a healthy way- Why today's culture seems to be afraid of long term commitment- Codependency: Is it really as HORRIBLE as it sounds, or could it be the key to your marriage's survival & your own longevity?- Why Women Are UNHAPPY: The unsettling reason behind women's relationship dissatisfaction and the FEARS they face daily- Men's Emotional Needs: How today's involved dads are CHANGING EVERYTHING- Social Media's Role in Cheating: How it's fueling nonmonogamy and screwing up your communication- Effects of porn addiction on the other partner- Key communication factors in healthy partnerships- The Managerial Marriage: Why losing PLAYTIME is the nail in the coffin for happy marriages- The Power of a 6-SECOND KISS: This simple act could SAVE your relationship! TUNE IN to MBB now & learn how to turn around your relationship before it's too late! The latest version of The New Marriage Clinic: https://wwnorton.com/books/9781324016311BialikBreakdown.comYouTube.com/mayimbialik
Rhomas Men's Team podcast here. As always, if you resonate with our content, please follow, like, share, comment, and support our channel: https://www.rhomas.com/ In today's session, we review a crucial aspect of "Eight Dates," the renowned book by Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman: "Building Trust." Trust is the foundation of any strong relationship, and this book provides practical guidance on how to cultivate and strengthen it through intentional and meaningful dates. We'll explore the strategies and activities recommended by the Gottmans for building trust, focusing on open communication, honesty, and vulnerability. By engaging in these structured dates, couples can foster a deeper sense of security and connection, laying the groundwork for a lasting and fulfilling relationship. Join us as we delve into the insights from "Eight Dates," and discover how to build and maintain trust with your partner. #BuildingTrust #EightDates #RelationshipGoals #CoupleGoals #Rhomas
How you define your relationship determines its trajectory. If you see your romance as a triumph over adversity, you will triumph. This is one of the many lessons we took from our long ago exploration of Drs. John and Julie Gottman, and we discuss their philosophy thoroughly on this week's podcast with Maria Bamford and Scott Marvel Cassidy. Their new graphic novel from Fantagraphics, Hogbook and Lazer Eyes, details their complicated coupling, all told through the eyes of their various elder pugs. When Maria Bamford and Scott Marvel Cassidy were at their lowest, they signed up for the dating website O.K. Cupid, using the handles "Hogbook" and "Lazer Eyes." One date became two, which became three, then four. Their compatibility was less than a sure thing, but as they persisted, their connection solidified. Something about the other stirred understanding in themselves, and witnessing that epiphany through their canine housemates cleverly, maybe magically, creates profundity. After the Gottmans, we discuss the other classic texts that shaped our understanding of relationships: Dan Slott and Michael Allred's Silver Surfer. As we've previously covered on the show, entering a marriage is to engage with "The Infinite All-In." In a best-case scenario, one of you will leave the other to wallow in grief. As you'll hear, for Maria Bamford and Scott Marvel Cassidy, "the 50/50 risk" gives value to the partnership. As longtime admirers of Maria Bamford's standup comedy and television work and Scott Marvel Cassidy's comics and artistry, it was more than a joy to chat with them about Hogbook and Lazer Eyes. Discussing romance and collaboration with another creative couple helped us more clearly define our desires and wants for the future. Is a puppy on the horizon? Possibly. To continue this conversation online, follow Maria Bamford on Twitter, Instagram, and her Website. Follow Scott Marvel Cassidy on Instagram and his Website. Hogbook and Lazer Eyes is now available from Fantagraphics. Find it wherever fine comics are sold. As always, Omnibus, the Digital Comic Store and Reader, sponsors our Referrals segment. This week, we selected two comic book titles on the site that satisfy this episode's themes. We won't spoil what they are here, but if you click the links below, you'll be immediately escorted to those books. Brad's Referral Lisa's Referral Other Relevant Links: Brad and Lisa on Free With Ads, Talking Tank Girl Subscribe to the 2000 AD Thrill-Cast Subscribe to the Vactor-Verse Subscribe to Wizards: The Podcast Guide to Comics Final Round of Plugs (PHEW): Support the Podcast by Joining OUR PATREON COMMUNITY Join us at the Alamo Drafthouse in Winchester, Virginia, on 5/19 at 4:00 PM for our Green Lantern screening, co-sponsored by Four Color Fantasies. Watch the latest episode of The B&B Show, where Brad and Bryan Review the Hottest Cinematic Releases. And, of course, follow Comic Book Couples Counseling on Facebook, on Instagram, and on Twitter @CBCCPodcast, and you can follow hosts Brad Gullickson @MouthDork & Lisa Gullickson @sidewalksiren. Send us your Words of Affirmation by leaving us a 5-star Review on Apple Podcasts. Continue your conversation with CBCC by hopping over to our website, where we have reviews, essays, and numerous interviews with comic book creators. Podcast logo by Aaron Prescott @acoolhandfluke, podcast banner art by @Karen_XmenFan.
Becky delves into the concept of 'hidden dreams' within relationships, drawing on insights from John and Julie Gottman's work on healthy conflict. Becky highlights how perpetual arguments often mask deeper, unexpressed desires and values. Through the lens of the Gottmans' personal experience and a detailed example of their methodology, she illustrates the transformative potential of uncovering and empathizing with these hidden dreams for resolving conflicts. The episode emphasizes the significance of thoughtful questioning in revealing underlying aspirations and acknowledges that, although not all conflicts are solvable, their manageability improves with mutual understanding and empathy. Becky encourages listeners to embrace the role of a 'dream catcher' in their own relationships and shares avenues for feedback and further discussion on this vital topic. 00:00 Welcome to the Healthy Conflict Series: Unveiling Hidden Dreams 00:21 Understanding Perpetual Arguments in Relationships 01:32 The Gottmans' Discovery: The Technique of Hidden Dreams 01:56 The Iceberg of Conflict: Uncovering Hidden Dreams and Values 02:58 Judging Desires: The Pitfall of Value Judgments in Relationships 03:57 A Real-Life Example: The Gottmans' Cabin Conflict 05:29 The Power of Understanding and Dialogue 08:33 Practical Steps: Questions to Uncover Hidden Dreams 10:30 The Unsolvable Nature of Some Conflicts and the Value of Empathy 11:24 Applying the Dream Catcher Technique in Your Life1 2:28 Conclusion and Invitation to Share Your Experiences https://calendly.com/beckycoach/resentment-free-relationships --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/becky-smith0/message
No matter how much you love your partner, your relationship will never be totally free from disagreement. And nor should it be, say researchers Dr John Gottman and Dr Julie Schwartz Gottman. We actually just need to learn to argue better. Enjoy this episode from our friends at The Happiness Lab.The Gottmans join Dr Laurie Santos to talk us through how to raise complaints with our partners and how to react when they complain about us. Further reading: Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict into Connection by Dr John Gottman and Dr Julie Schwartz Gottman.
EVEN if you don't get behind open relating, open up your ears and listen to this convo because I gurantee you will learn something regardless
It's Lisa Bilyeu here with another episode of Women of Impact and this one is FILLED with science-backed methods that will help you have a stronger, healthier relationship with your partner! Today we are joined by the world's leading relationship scientists, Dr. John Gottman & Dr. Julie Gottman. Together they have more than 50 years researching couples and relationship health, and they have SOOOO much information to share if you want to build a strong, long-lasting relationship! In this episode, we're diving into: - The signs that all but guarantee your relationship won't last, AND what you can do before it's too late - Why you MUST go deep into the conflict to truly understand why you're fighting - How to fight right and keep it from getting out of control with their “Repair checklist” - Ways you and your partner can come together and find solutions or compromise - The 5 steps to ACTUALLY heal an emotional injury in your relationship - Why cheating is a symptom of a problem in your relationship, and not the CAUSE of the problems - How contempt in a relationship can lead to physical illness - And soooo much more! The Gottmans are dedicated to helping couples repair and strengthen their relationship, and their research has truly been revolutionary and unmatched! From fighting, to cheating, to sex and SOOOO much more, in this episode, you're getting a research-based MASTERCLASS on strengthening relationships. Be sure to get a copy of “Fight Right” here: https://www.amazon.com/Fight-Right-Successful-Conflict-Connection/dp/0593579658 Follow The Gottmans: Website: https://www.gottman.com/ For Couples: https://gottmanconnect.com/ Order Your Copy of “Fight Right”: https://www.amazon.com/Fight-Right-Successful-Conflict-Connection/dp/0593579658 Follow Me, Lisa Bilyeu: Website: https://www.radicalconfidence.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lisabilyeu/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lisabilyeu X: https://twitter.com/lisabilyeu If you want to dive deeper into my content, search through every episode, find specific topics I've covered, and ask me questions. Go to my Dexa page: https://dexa.ai/lisabilyeu Themes: Confidence, Relationships, Business, Mental Health, Self-Improvement ***CALLING ALL BADASSES!*** If you really want to level up your confidence game, check out the WOMEN OF IMPACT SUBSCRIPTION, specially designed to turn you into the badass you were born to be! *New episodes delivered ad-free, EXCLUSIVE access to hundreds of archived Women of Impact episodes, and so much more!* Don't settle for mediocrity when you can be extraordinary! *****Subscribe on Apple Podcasts: https://apple.co/457ebrP***** Subscribe on all other platforms (Google Podcasts, Spotify, Castro, Downcast, Overcast, Pocket Casts, Podcast Addict, Podcast Republic, Podkicker, and more) : https://impacttheorynetwork.supercast.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
After a comical discussion about “dry January” and the health benefits of not drinking, Beth and Kat (certified Enneagram teacher and co-host of the Enneagram + Yoga podcast) launch into a discussion about how the Enneagram helps us “ understand the motivations, the fears, and behaviors of people that you're in relationship with, and have kindness and compassion for that because they are different from you and they see things different and they are motivated and fearful about different things”. Many of us naturally gravitate toward a person who has strengths and qualities that we don't possess, but these differences often result in a disconnect down the road if communication skills are lacking (as they generally are, in most relationships!). The very differences that attract us to people can eventually drive us apart or drive us crazy! The Gottmans' state that couples can work through “ perpetual issues and unsolvable problems” by dialoguing about them to get unstuck and change your perception about them. Kat works with couples as an Enneagram coach to help them “be their best self and their most authentic self “by helping them understand questions like “what makes you tick? Why do you do things you do? Why do you react a certain way, or see things a certain way? Why do you resolve conflict in a certain way? “ Kat believes that without addressing these questions, “you can't grow.” Kat Smith Yoga Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Jeff & Cathy discuss what most couples fight about (according to research by the Gottmans), and what we can effectively do about it. Listen for ideas you can apply to reduce the frustration and increase the joy in your own relational interactions. #couple #fight #conflict loveinlateryears.com --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/loveinlateryears/support
No matter how much you love your partner, your relationship will never be totally free from disagreement. And nor should it be, say researchers Dr John Gottman and Dr Julie Schwartz Gottman. We actually just need to learn to argue better. The Gottmans join Dr Laurie Santos to talk us through how to raise complaints with our partners and how to react when they complain about us. Further reading: Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict into Connection by Dr John Gottman and Dr Julie Schwartz Gottman. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
No matter how much you love your partner, your relationship will never be totally free from disagreement. And nor should it be, say researchers Dr John Gottman and Dr Julie Schwartz Gottman. We actually just need to learn to argue better. The Gottmans join Dr Laurie Santos to talk us through how to raise complaints with our partners and how to react when they complain about us. Further reading: Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict into Connection by Dr John Gottman and Dr Julie Schwartz Gottman. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
According to relationship experts, Drs. Julie and John Gottman, it is perfectly OK to go to bed angry. Sometimes a couple needs time to calm down and reset. As they note, “Fights can get intense and messy…We get hijacked by our emotions, our pasts, our old hurts. But if you can get at what's underneath, there's so much compassion and understanding.” In their latest book, “Fight Right,” the Gottmans explode misconceptions about fighting and share ways to get through conflict and find connection. We talk to the Gottmans and hear from you: how do you handle conflict in your relationship? Guests: Julie Schwartz Gottman, co-author "Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict into Connection" - Schwartz Gottman is a clinical psychologist, therapist and researcher and with her husband Dr. John Gottman, is the co-founder and president of the Gottman Institute. John Gottman, co-author "Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict into Connection" - Gottman is a psychologist, researcher, therapist, and with his wife Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, he is the co-founder, The Gottman Institute.
What 40 years of research tells us about how to cultivate good relationships in our lives.World-renowned for his work on marital stability and divorce prediction, Dr. John Gottman has conducted over 40 years of breakthrough research with thousands of couples. He is the co-founder of The Gottman Institute and Affective Software Inc. as well as author of over 200 published academic articles and author or co-author of more than 40 books, including The New York Times bestseller The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Dr. Julie Gottman is the Co-Founder and President of The Gottman Institute and Co-Founder of Affective Software, Inc. A highly respected clinical psychologist and author, she is sought internationally by media and organizations as an expert advisor on marriage, domestic violence, gay and lesbian adoption, same-sex marriage, and parenting issues. She is the co-creator of the immensely popular The Art and Science of Love weekend workshop for couples and she also co-designed the national clinical training program in Gottman Method Couples Therapy. In this episode we talk about:how to talk (and listen) to your partner in moments of conflictwhat to do before you start trying to solve a problem togetherwhy “there's no such thing as constructive criticism” the details of John's research findings, which have allowed him to predict with stunning accuracy whether a couple will get divorcedhow the Gottmans themselves do when it comes to operationalizing their findings/advicehow and why betrayal occurswhen a couple should consider separating the role mindfulness can play in healthy relationshipsand the role of humor in relationships.Related Episodes:Six Buddhist Strategies for Getting Along Better with Everyone | Sister True DedicationThe Science of Emotional Intelligence | Daniel GolemanImproving Your Relationships - Buddhist Style | Martine BatchelorSign up for Dan's weekly newsletter hereFollow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTokTen Percent Happier online bookstoreSubscribe to our YouTube ChannelOur favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular EpisodesFor tickets to Dan Harris: Celebrating 10 Years of 10% Happier at Symphony Space: click here Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/gottmans-418-rerunAdditional Resources:Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/installSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
The Gottmans have been studying marriage and relationships for 40 years. In a new book, Fight Right, they explain how successful couples resolve their conflicts.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy
Conflict doesn't have to suck. These iconic relationship researchers tell us how. Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict Into Connection is the name of a new book by esteemed guests Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Gottman.They are the co-Founders of The Gottman Institute and have completed over 40 years of research with more than 3,000 couples. John is the researcher; Julie the clinician. They have written several books together, including Eight Dates and The Love Prescription.Even though the majority of the Gottmans' research is on couples, the advice is applicable to all types of relationships. In this episode we talk about:The three principle conflict stylesWhy we often don't understand what it is we're fighting aboutPerpetual problems vs. Solvable problemsWhy the first three minutes of an argument are key The simple sentence to use at the beginning of an argumentHow to downregulate defensiveness in an argumentWhy the Gottmans' believe there is no such thing as constructive criticismWhy apologizing quickly isn't always the right moveWhen a fight might spell the end Related Episodes:Dan Savage on how to handle disappointment in your relationships, how to get better at sex, and why “a couple” is an IllusionLori Brotto on mindful sexDevon and Craig Hase on how not to be a hot messMyisha Battle on love, sex, dating, and relationship mythsSign up for Dan's weekly newsletter hereFollow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTokTen Percent Happier online bookstoreSubscribe to our YouTube ChannelOur favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular EpisodesFor tickets to Dan Harris: Celebrating 10 Years of 10% Happier at Symphony Space: click here Full Shownotes: http://tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/gottmans-726See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Some people are just good at building and maintaining healthy partnerships. In their 'Love Lab", the married researchers Dr John Gottman and Dr Julie Schwartz Gottman have seen how certain couples interact in ways that mean they'll happily stick together for decades. The Gottmans join Dr Laurie Santos to explain what we can learn from these "Masters of Relationships" - so that the stresses and strains of life don't destroy our intimate partnerships. Further reading: Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict into Connection by Dr John Gottman and Dr Julie Schwartz Gottman. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
“If you're dealing with an issue, don't describe your partner. Describe yourself, your feelings, and your needs," says Julie Gottman, Ph.D. Julie and John Gottman, Ph.D., leading relationship experts and founders of the Gottman Institute, join us to discuss how to know if your partner is long-term material, plus: - The top ingredients for a loving relationship (~00:02) - The three main conflict styles (~02:34) - The “bomb drop” fight (~09:16) - What to do if you feel “flooded” during a fight (~11:17) - The “shallows” fight (~16:17) - How to resolve “the standoff” (~19:20) - How couples can rebuild their relationship post-affair (~28:43) - What causes affairs? (~34:20) - The Gottmans' top 3 green flags in a relationship (~35:56) - How to know if you've found The One (~43:01) - What causes unhappy marriages? (~46:02) - How to know if you're ready for a serious relationship (~50:51) - The Gottmans' No. 1 tip for successful relationships (~54:18) Referenced in the episode: - The Gottmans' book, Fight Right. - mbg Podcast episodes #320 and #461, with the Gottmans. - Learn more about the Gottmans' research on marriage and couples. - Check out Caryl Rusbult's research. - Research on recovering after an affair. Visit shop.mindbodygreen.com/whey20 to get 20% off whey protein isolate+. Cannot combine with gift cards or other discount codes. We hope you enjoy this episode, and feel free to watch the full video on YouTube! Whether it's an article or podcast, we want to know what we can do to help here at mindbodygreen. Let us know at: podcast@mindbodygreen.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Some people are just good at building and maintaining healthy partnerships. In their "Love Lab", the married researchers Dr John Gottman and Dr Julie Schwartz Gottman have seen how certain couples interact in ways that mean they'll happily stick together for decades. Enjoy this special episode of The Happiness Lab with Dr Laurie Santos. The Gottmans join Dr Santos to explain what we can learn from these "Masters of Relationships" - so that the stresses and strains of life don't destroy our intimate partnerships. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Some people are just good at building and maintaining healthy partnerships. In their "Love Lab", the married researchers Dr John Gottman and Dr Julie Schwartz Gottman have seen how certain couples interact in ways that mean they'll happily stick together for decades. Enjoy this special episode of The Happiness Lab with Dr Laurie Santos. The Gottmans join Dr Santos to explain what we can learn from these "Masters of Relationships" - so that the stresses and strains of life don't destroy our intimate partnerships. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Some people are just good at building and maintaining healthy partnerships. In their "Love Lab", the married researchers Dr John Gottman and Dr Julie Schwartz Gottman have seen how certain couples interact in ways that mean they'll happily stick together for decades. Enjoy this special episode of The Happiness Lab with Dr Laurie Santos. The Gottmans join Dr Santos to explain what we can learn from these "Masters of Relationships" - so that the stresses and strains of life don't destroy our intimate partnerships. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
“Every single human being is a pack animal. That's what we are biologically. We would die if we didn't depend on each other. Saying what you need is a form of connecting with your partner and saying, let's be a team. Can you serve me in this way? Can I trust you to have my back? Because I've got yours. And I want to be there for you. The other thing that people don't realize is that when they ask their partner for something they need, what they're doing is saying to the partner, you are my chosen one. You are my confidant. You are the person I trust more than anybody to be there for me. And the other person may feel very honored by that, actually. What that person is saying is you are trustworthy. You are the person that I know has the strength and the resources to be there for me.” Doctors John and Julie Gottman are two of the most famous and popular couples therapists in the world—not only because of their ability to impart relationship-saving and relationship-strengthening advice, but because of John Gottman's decades of reearch in the so called “Love Lab,” where he observed couples over time and could predict—with a dizzying level of success—who was destined to divorce. In short, the Gottmans are the world's leading relationship scientists, having gathered data on thousands of couples—they then use those findings to train clinicians and create simple principles for couples around the world. In their latest book, Fight Right, they explore conflict—something we're all trained to avoid at all costs. Their point though, which their research supports, is that conflict is essential for healthy relationships, clearing out the brush of stagnant resentments and deepening bonds. In today's conversation, we explore everything from fighting styles—there's avoiders, validators, and volatiles—along with our tendency to start conflict harshly because we feel like we need a lot of ammo to justify the rupture and make our point. And then we move to modes and paths of repair, along with what their latest research can tell us about infidelity and its root cause. I loved this conversation, which we'll turn to now. MORE FROM JOHN & JULIE GOTTMAN: Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict into Connection The Love Prescription: Seven Days to More Intimacy, Connection, and Joy The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work The Gottman Institute: A Research-Based Approach to Relationships Gottman Relationship Quiz: How Well Do You Know Your Partner? Find a Gottman Trained Therapist Follow the Gottman Institute on Twitter and Instagram To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman and Dr. John Gottman discuss their research surrounding couple's therapy, relationships, and how to fight positively with your partner. How having quality relationships can extend your life by 17 years The 3 fighting styles & how to know which one you fall into The 5:1 ratio you need to follow to have a successful fight with your partner How to know if your relationship is healthy or unhealthy (& whether or not unhealthy relationships can change!) The number one thing to never say in a fight What the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are & why they ruin relationships Why you only have 3 minutes to create a successful fight The Gottmans' surprising thoughts on Love Languages An exercise to build more trust and happiness into your relationship What to do when a fight isn't resolvable (and how to know when to break up) And so much more For more from The Gottmans, you can visit The Gottman Institute on Instagram at @gottmaninstitute or online at www.gottman.com. You can purchase their newest book, Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict Into Connection online or wherever you buy books. To join The Liz Moody Podcast Club Facebook group, go to https://www.facebook.com/groups/thelizmoodypodcast. Ready to uplevel every part of your life? Order my new book 100 Ways to Change Your Life: The Science of Leveling Up Health, Happiness, Relationships & Success now! This episode is sponsored by: Pet Honesty: go to PetHonesty.com/LIZ to get 25% off your first purchase. LMNT: go to DrinkLMNT.com/LizMoody a to get a free LMNT sample pack with any order. Seed: go to seed.com/lizmoody and use code LIZMOODY for 25% off your first month. Osea: get 10% off your first order at oseamalibu.com with code LIZMOODY10. Previous episodes referred to in this episode: Ask The Doctor: Epigenetics Edition—How To Hack Your Genes To Increase Lifespan, Reverse Cellular Damage, & Fight Disease with Dr. Lucia Aronica How To Be More Persuasive, Get What You Want, & Leave A Better Impact On Friends, Family, & Strangers with Vanessa Bohns, Phd What It's Really Like To Be Childfree By Choice with Ruby Warrington & Vanessa And Xander Marin The Liz Moody Podcast cover art by Zack. The Liz Moody Podcast music by Alex Ruimy. Formerly the Healthier Together Podcast.
John and Julie Gottman are top relationship researchers, psychologists, and the power couple behind the new book, “Fight Right." They joined Leah Smart to share eye-opening perspectives on conflict management and resolution. We're all familiar with those tense moments at home or office disagreements. The Gottmans reveal that these aren't just hurdles to overcome; they're valuable opportunities to strengthen bonds with family, colleagues, and even yourself. The Gottmans highlight the transformative power of the simple shift from criticizing to making complaints, give their take on and reveal the three styles of handling conflict that can change your perspective on disagreements. Follow Leah Smart on LinkedIn Follow The Gottman Institute on LinkedIn Listen to the previous conversation with The Gottmans
Parforhold er komplisert. Ofte er det slik at når vi trenger hverandre mest, er på vårt mest sårbare, er det størst sannsynlighet for at vi ryker uklare. Potensiale for konflikt er overhengende i samarbeidet mellom to mennesker, selv om de elsker hverandre høyt. Økonomi, barneoppdragelse, hvem som gjør hva i huset, hvor mye tid man har for seg selv og svigerforeldre er vanlige kilder til konflikter i et forhold.Det er på det rene at de fleste opplever konflikter i parforholdet, og også at noen av konflikt-temaene er vedvarende og fastlåste. Det amerikanske paret Gottmans har forsket på par i snart 40 år. De har funnet ut at 69% av temaene par krangler om ved forholdets start, er de samme temaene de krangler om ved forholdets slutt, om det så er etter 50 år.De har også funnet at par som har det bra sammen, også har konflikter i parforholdet. Det er altså ikke det at par har konflikter, men heller hvordan kranglene ser ut og oppleves, som er avgjørende for hvordan paret opplever kvaliteten på parforholdet. Psykolog Ida Graf har skrevet en oppsummerende artikkel om parforhold basert på forskningen til Gottman og erfaringer fra klinisk praksis. Jeg vil begynne med å gi deg noen av Graf sine betraktninger å parforhold og typiske konflikter som oppstår i parforholdet. Deretter tar vi turen til en biblioterapigruppe med parforhold som tema. I andre segmentet blir det altså løse refleksjoner rundt parforholdets psykologi Få tilgang til ALT ekstramateriale som medlem på SinnSyns Mentale Helsestudio via SinnSyn-appen her: https://www.webpsykologen.no/et-mentalt-helsestudio-i-lomma/ eller som Patreon-Medlem her: https://www.patreon.com/sinnsyn. For reklamefri pod og bonus-episoder kan du bli SinnSyn Pluss abonnent her https://plus.acast.com/s/sinnsyn. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Meet Rachel Fleischman – a licensed social worker, psychotherapist, registered expressive arts therapist, workshop facilitator, and speaker who, over the last two decades has supported thousands of humans to deepen their creativity, feel understood, and love themselves fiercely. Through her private practice, Bliss Counseling, and a unique movement system she developed called Dance Your Bliss, Rachel works with individuals and couples and has expertise in crisis management, trust, body image, premarital and marital issues, sex therapy, depression, anxiety, life transition, and panic disorder, to name a few. Rachel's love for supporting others began at a young age in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, where she grew up experiencing complex trauma and learned about resilience and self-reliance as she raised herself. She found reprieve through dance classes and put herself through college and graduate school, where she also taught aerobics (which she thoroughly enjoyed). At the age of 24, Rachel took care of her dying father by teaching him exercises, which sparked the ideas surrounding the Dance Your Bliss classes and programs that she would later go on to develop. “As a young person, I often found myself being called upon to help others who were having difficulty coping with life situations. I had this ability to really “get” them and wanted desperately to learn more about how we process emotions, deal with adversity, and thrive,” says Fleischman. “During my 23 years practicing, I've trained with Esther Perel, the Gottmans and many other clinicians. I have studied Couples Counseling, sex therapy, CBT, and Solution-Focused Therapy. I refuse to stop learning – my clients mean the world to me!” Fleischman is currently developing new e-books and coursework surrounding perimenopause and menopause, and working with individual clients. She can regularly be found leading international workshops and programs at conferences, corporate retreats, and wellness centers such as the Esalen Institute, the Omega Institute's Women and Courage Conference, Canyon Ranch, the Naropa Institute's Hakomi Conference, the Hollyhock Retreat Center, UCSF Women's Health, Rancho La Puerta Spa, and the International Dance Therapy Conference. Her sought-after mental health expertise has been featured on numerous podcasts and in magazines such as Verywell Mind, Best Life, Psychology Today and Elephant Journal. Rachel also aims to give back to her local community by volunteering at the San Francisco Public Libraries and leads a variety of pro-bono movement activities at organizations such as the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. In her spare time Fleischman enjoys crafting and spending time in nature with her husband in and around San Francisco, California, where she currently resides. Join us in this heartfelt episode as Rachel opens up about her personal journey and the origins of her deep passion for serving others. Discover the profound connection between movement and dance, and how it can transform your life. Rachel explores the importance of healthy vibrations for healing, breaking free from self-judgment and judgment of others, and finding self-love and acceptance through grace. Rachel's Beginnings and story of hope: Rachel shares her early experiences and how they shaped her into the person she is today. Discover the roots of her passion for making a positive impact on others' lives. The Connection Between Movement and Dance Explore the profound connection between movement, dance, and personal growth. Learn how embracing movement can bring about profound changes in your life. Healing Through Dance and Vibration Rachel discusses the concept of healthy vibrations and their role in the healing process. Discover practical tips for incorporating healthy vibrations into your daily life. Finding Self-Love and Acceptance Through Grace Explore the concept of grace and its role in the journey toward self-love and acceptance. Rachel offers insights on how to cultivate grace in your life. Get in touch with Rachel: https://www.blisscounseling.com https://www.instagram.com/danceyourbliss.sf/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/dancingyourbliss/ Get in touch with Jana and listen to more Podcasts: https://www.janashort.com/ Show Music ‘Hold On' by Amy Gerhartz https://www.amygerhartz.com/music. Get the Best Holistic Life Magazine APP! One of the fastest-growing independent magazines centered around holistic living. https://www.presspadapp.com/digital-magazine/best-holistic-life-magazine Grab your gift today: https://www.janashort.com/becoming-the-next-influencers-download-offer/ Connect with Jana Short: https://www.janashort.com/contact/
We've all been there - stuck in an recurring argument with our partner, feeling unheard and misunderstood and never getting to the bottom of things. Did you know that 69% of your fights with your partner are unresolvable? World renowned couple's therapists and researchers, the Gottmans, have identified that nearly 2/3 of our conflicts with our spouse are Gottman are what they call "perpetual problems" - those unsolvable issues that you're never going to seee eye to eye on just because you are two different people. So what if the key to resolving the endless arguments with your partner isn't about getting your partner to get on the same page as you and start seeing more eye to eye, what if it's about digging deeper to understand the fears, wishes, and desires behind the disagreement? It's time to stop proving who's right or wrong and start understanding the deeper issues at play. I'm guiding you on how to turn challenging conversations into opportunities for growth and understanding. FREE MINI-COURSE TO STOP THE FIGHTING & FRUSTRATIONGet access to a free five-day mini-course to help you and your partner glide through tough conversations with grace. Brace yourselves for a paradigm shift in your relationship as we navigate the gridlock together and find more peace between the differences.SIGN UP HERE:https://fun-cell-31288.myflodesk.com/i0qbwrz0mjHave a topic or question you'd love to hear about?Message me and let me know.email april@lovelossproject.comInstagram @with.love.aprilhttps://www.instagram.com/with.love.april/Sign up to get tips & tools sent to your inbox.https://aprilboyd.ca/ Please note: This show is not a replacement for therapy, assessment, treatment or diagnosis. This show is intended for educational and entertainment purposes only. See your physician, counsellor or local crisis support centre if neededAll identifying details about the people and the stories shared here are removed to protect confidentiality.
Sharing the best lessons learned in relationships from couples therapy. In a candid and light hearted conversation, Joanna and I unearth invaluable lessons on accountability, communication, sidestepping stonewalling, nurturing self-awareness, and fostering personal growth.If you're on the quest to becoming a stellar partner, we've got you covered. We dish out some stellar tips and scripts to level up your relationship game, and show you how to find a top-notch therapist.Ever heard of the Gottman Institute? We break down their relationship research, especially the intriguing concept of "turning toward" or "turning against" your partner's bids, and the profound ripple effect it has on your love story.Growing up in Asian and Latino households, we navigated emotional terrains that often valued stoicism over feelings. We reflect on the process of unlearning negative patterns and the transformational power of saying "I feel."Get a deep dive into the dynamics of healthy relationships, actionable advice, and personal anecdotes that shed light on the journey toward becoming better partners.Therapists mentioned: @therapywithjeff@therapywithalybWebsites to find a therapist:www.zocdoc.com www.zencare.co Brene Brown's podcasts:The Gottmans episode The four horsemen episode CONNECT & BUILD OUR COMMUNITY: Connect with Thania on Instagram @tataconquers Follow on IG: @faithandotherfwords Review on Itunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/faith-other-f-words/id1458989305 Tag me with a screenshot of you listening to an episode!
Breaking up with yo-yo dieting | Binge Eating | Nutrition | Motivation | Self-Love | Mindset
Do you and your partner struggle to communicate? Have you ever experienced… - Things you thought were small issues turn into a blowout fight. - Your partner tells you they feel criticized. - You see your partner walk away in conflict and it makes you upset. - You're unsure what is going wrong and why you are fighting so much with the person you love. In this episode, we are going to cover what Drs. John and Julie Gottman studied relationships and identified what they call the Four Horsemen of conflict discussions. When these communications styles make up the majority of interactions, the relationship breaks down. When couples come to me for communication issues, most of the time these four communication patterns are dominating their communication and their relationship. Link to Communication Cures https://www.emberrelationshippsychology.com/communication-cures This podcast is for informational purposes only.
Imagine if you could invest just 1 hour per week in the one conversation you must have every for a healthy relationship. Well it's possible and it's called the State of the Union Meeting. Created by the Gottmans, this State of the Union is a time to reflect on the relationship and share both things that are working well and things that need to be addressed. It creates more connection, understanding, tolerance and ultimately leads to a relationship you both will love and respect.Tune in to find out the four steps involved and what Josh and I found worked and didn't work from doing this for ourselves.Head to https://lifepilot.co/11 for the full transcript. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Our podcast today is with our guest speaker Dr. Robert Navarra. He talks about addiction and how there is hope in recovering. An interesting talking point he mentions is that recovery should be done as a partnership. He provides some helpful insights for partners in dealing with the disease of addiction that can sweep into a relationship. Timestamps: 0:00 – Introduction: Who is Robert Navarra?2:44 – Fear and misunderstanding of addiction5:42 – What's the difference between codependency and interdependency?9:34 – What partners of addicted individuals should know11:03 – Addiction impacts the relationship not just the individual just like a disease14:31 – Most common addictions15:49 – Safe levels of drinking18:50 – Rituals in relationships create connection21:52 – Resources to help with creating rituals23:39 – Understanding addictions and affairs27:53 – Couple recovery resources32:16 – Advice for partners of addicted individuals35:15 – Responding to your partner in a way that feels good to create a stronger marriage connection37:35 – The smallest unit of intimacy38:12 – Robert's takeaway: addiction is treatable and it is preventable39:32 – Liz's takeaway: be aware of “secondhand harm”37:00 – Dave's takeaway: there is hope; we're in this together, let's do this together. About Robert Navarra: Dr. Navarra has been a Certified Gottman Therapist since 2007 and is a Master Trainer, Consultant, and Researcher with the Gottman Institute. He has trained therapists nationally and internationally and is a popular presenter at conferences, webinars, podcasts, and in the media. He has co-authored book chapters with Drs. John and Julie Gottman on Gottman Method Couples Therapy, as well as co-authoring with Dr. John Gottman three articles on Gottman Therapy for the Encyclopedia of Couple and Family Therapy. Dr. Navarra developed a relational model of addiction assessment and treatment and has been published in textbooks and in the Encyclopedia of Couple and Family Therapy on systemic approaches in addiction recovery. Dr. Navarra was also recorded presenting a workshop that he developed, Couples and AddictionRecovery Training, for an online class offered by the Gottman Institute that requires therapists in the Gottman Certification track program to complete. The Gottmans also invited Dr. Navarra to present his model with them at the Evolution of Psychotherapy Conference. He is currently collaborating with the Gottmans on researching the effectiveness of a workshop for recovering couples that he designed called, Roadmap for the Journey: A Path for Couple Recovery. Additionally, he teaches addiction assessment and treatment in the Graduate Counseling Psychology Program at Santa Clara University in California Insights: Robert: If you want to reduce conflict in your marriage, then focus on the times when you're not in conflict. Dave: There is hope. We're in this together, let's do this together. Liz: Be aware of “secondhand harm”. Invites: - To reduce conflict in your marriage, or in any relationship you may be struggling with, focus on the times when you aren't in conflict. Focusing on the good reduces conflict. - If there is problematic substance use in your relationship, go to a professional to figure out to what extent it is an issue and if there really is an addiction. - The smallest unit of intimacy is responding to your partner in a way that feels good. When you respond to your partner, give them your attention to show them that you care for them. Robert Navarra Links: - Love Map Card decks - https://Drrobertnavarra.com - Free courses - Workshops and Events o June 10-11 workshop o Oct 21 and 28 workshop Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org podcast.strongermarriage.org Facebook: StrongerMarriage.orgInstagram: @strongermarriagelifeTikTok: @strongermarriagelife Dr. Dave Schramm: https://drdaveschramm.com https://drdavespeaks.com Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642 Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Taber asks, “I'm an anxiously attached person and it's become clear to me that it doesn't work for me that my partner talks to another woman every day, behind my back. I have found proof that he has crossed the line with her before, and with anxious attachment I am not in a healthy enough place to accept him continuing friendship with this person. I'm welcoming advice on how to set this boundary for myself without just ending the relationship, and I certainly don't want to give an ultimatum. I'm new to this and need to set my mind free.” Lestie wonders, “What do you simply accept in a relationship in the other, as opposed to trying to change it? I.e., one of you is clean, the other is messy, one is punctual, other is never on time… I'm having difficulty knowing what to and what not to address. I know Gottmans says 69% of issues in relationships aren't resolved and it's more about how you communicate about them than trying to change them, and where to draw the line? Some of these issues really bother me. I also tend to fall into the fixing role and can be a perfectionist, and I'm not wanting to do that in my relationship.” Angela asks, “Why do men view emotional development work as weak? I'm trying to put more insight into understanding this concept in society. I do understand society has had some old idealism about masculinity, not being in touch with emotions, and not being able to be as vulnerable because it's seen as weakness, but I'd love to understand the depth of this and what's really going on.” Join Ellen and Jayson's in-depth chat as they talk through your questions in this Ask me Anything episode unpacking boundaries, insecure attachment dynamics, acceptance, and the systemic effect that is at play with men and their emotional landscape. Useful Links: https://www.gettingtozerobook.com https://relationshipschool.com/relationshipmastery/ https://relationshipschool.com/getcoachingnow/
Julie Gottman, Ph.D. & John Gottman, Ph.D.: “Touch is as essential to our well-being as food, water, and exercise.” The Gottmans, renowned psychologists, co-founders of the Gottman Institute, and the world's leading experts in the study of relationships, join mbg co-CEO, Jason Wachob, to discuss little things you can do to secure a long-term relationship, plus: - New challenges many couples face (~01:08) - The power of touch for overall well-being (~03:18) - Little things to do on a daily basis to connect with your partner (~06:38) - Why compliments are crucial for successful relationships (~12:09) - How family trauma impacts your ability to find love (~18:58) - The most common mistakes people make in relationships (~24:11) - Essential ingredients for long-lasting relationships (~27:22) - The importance of weekly date nights (~29:22) - How to have meaningful conversations with your partner (~31:17) - How to have a discussion about your sex life (~35:28) - What role sex actually plays in a relationship (~38:09) - Why some people have affairs (~43:41) - What you can do today to ensure everlasting love (~46:34) Referenced in the episode: - The Gottmans' book, The Love Prescription. - Check out the Gottman Institute. - mbg Podcast episode #320, with the Gottmans. - Harry Harlow monkey study. - The Gottmans' study on newlyweds and bids for connection. - Check out Robert Levinson's research. - A study showing couples underestimate positive experiences 50% of the time. - Check out the Gottmans' Open-Ended Card Decks. - The Normal Bar. - Not "Just Friends". Take 20% off our holiday collection with code HOLIDAY20. Cannot combine with gift cards or other discount codes. Apply code at checkout. We hope you enjoy this episode, and feel free to watch the full video on YouTube! Whether it's an article or podcast, we want to know what we can do to help here at mindbodygreen. Let us know at: podcast@mindbodygreen.com.
The sisters are here for our final installment in a three-part series on The Love Prescription: Seven Days to More Intimacy, Connection, and Joy, from Drs. John and Julie Gottman. And we're talking about our reaction to the book and what we learned from the Gottmans in Parts 1 and 2. Their tactical, practical, get-your-vulnerability-on work calls us to action, so we commit to doing some specific things over the next weeks. It's scary. It's vulnerable. But we're ready to take on this seven-day journey. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Think you can't make relationship changes in a week? Drs. John and Julie Gottman say, yes, actually, you can — and they have 40 years of breakthrough research on marital stability and divorce prediction to prove it. The Gottmans are back, by popular demand, and they're here to talk about their new book, The Love Prescription: Seven Days to More Intimacy, Connection, and Joy. In this first of a three-part series, we talk about their work, their findings, and some huge hacks that were mind-blowing for me. This book feels so hopeful because it's direct, it's really honest, and it's so actionable. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Julie and John Gottman are renowned marriage experts and the cofounders of the Gottman Institute, where they provide couples with the tools to help them get their partnerships back on track. In their new book, The Love Prescription, the Gottmans share their research-based approach for strengthening relationships. They join Erica Chidi to talk about the small yet effective shifts that can help increase intimacy and connection over seven days. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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