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Are you feeling overwhelmed by life's curveballs? In this episode of The Just Believe Show, Herbie Mack shares five powerful resilience strategies that helped him weather Hurricane Milton—and how you can apply them to overcome life's toughest challenges. In This Episode, You'll Learn: How to focus on what you can control. Why it's important to lean on your support system. How to build resilience and move forward through challenges. Don't forget to rate and subscribe if you're enjoying these tips! Share this episode with someone who could use a little extra support today. Chapters 00:00 Welcome to The Just Believe Show 01:22 Herbie's Story: Overcoming Hurricane Milton 04:44 Step 1: Practice Acceptance 05:30 Step 2: Lean Into Your Support System 07:50 Find Meaning in Struggles 11:00 A Message of Resilience 12:30 Final Thoughts Unlock Your Potential with the Mirror To Me Journal Ready to start your transformation? The Mirror To Me journal will guide you through 30+ days of reflection and growth. It's designed to help you tackle challenges and rediscover your inner strength. Get your copy today on Amazon and take the first step toward a better you! Special Offer: Life Activation Sessions Are you looking to dive deeper? Start your personal transformation with a Life Activation session at Logan Light Center. Use code "JUSTBELIEVE" for 25% off your session! Learn more at LoganLightCenter.com. Stay Connected & Build Our Mental Health Community Help us spread mental health awareness by rating and sharing the Just Believe Show! Follow Herbie Mack on Instagram @hbmack. Visit herbiemack.com to learn more about Herbie's mission or to inquire about having me at your upcoming event. Need Support? Help Is Available If you or someone you know is struggling, these resources are here to help: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Call 988 or 800-273-8255 Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 SAMHSA Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357) NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-NAMI (6264) Trevor Lifeline (LGBTQ Youth): 1-866-488-7386
Welcome to the Just Believe Show with Herbie Mack. In today's episode, Herbie will discuss how to break the chains of stress. Stress is a common but often misunderstood part of our lives. Join Herbie as he shares his personal journey through the ups and downs of stress. He will reveal how he navigated through the noise to find peace and purpose.#JustBelieveShow #StressManagement #StressReliefTechniques In This Episode: Herbie's Personal Stress Story: From working in a high-stress casino environment to juggling academic aspirations, Herbie unpacks his stress journey and the pivotal moments that led to profound life changes. Demystifying Stress: We break down the types of stress - acute, chronic, and episodic - and how they affect our lives differently, providing insights into recognizing and addressing each form. Strategies for Stress Management: Discover actionable steps to manage stress, including the importance of mindfulness, physical activity, and finding your stress-relief activities. Are you ready to control your stress and live a more balanced life? Tune in to learn from his experiences and gain insights on managing stress in your own life. Special Offer for Life Activation Visit www.LoganLightCenter.com for more about Charles's work and how you can embark on your own journey of transformation. Dive deeper into the world of Life Activation at www.LoganLightCenter.com/Activations. Use the coupon code "JUSTBELIEVE" for 25% off your session in Sarasota or Palm Harbor, and start your journey to self-discovery today! Don't forget to check out my new Substack newsletter for even more insights and stories. It's your go-to resource for personal growth and empowerment.
Welcome to another empowering episode of the Just Believe Show, hosted by Herbie Mack. Today, we dive deep into the transformative world of Life Activation with Charles Logan from Logan Light Center, a beacon of hope and healing in the Lineage of King Salomon. Charles, an initiated Celtic Shaman, Life Activation Practitioner, and intuitive Sound Healer, shares his riveting journey from despair to the pinnacle of spiritual awakening. Discover the ancient metaphysical teachings that reshaped Charles's life and led him to establish the Logan Light Center. Learn how Life Activation can be a cornerstone in your journey to self-discovery, offering healing and a profound understanding of your true purpose. I'm thankful to Jonathan Pouliot for introducing me to the Logan Light Center and the life activation program, which has been a truly transformative experience. Key Takeaways: Journey to Joy: Uncover Charles's transition from a life of turmoil to one filled with joy and purpose. Healing Power: Explore the transformative impact of Life Activation and how it can revolutionize your life. Path to Purpose: Learn how finding your true purpose can be the key to lasting happiness and fulfillment. Special Offer for Life Activation Visit www.LoganLightCenter.com for more about Charles's work and how you can embark on your own journey of transformation. Dive deeper into the world of Life Activation at www.LoganLightCenter.com/Activations. Use the coupon code "JUSTBELIEVE" for 25% off your session in Sarasota or Palm Harbor, and start your journey to self-discovery today! Don't forget to check out my new Substack newsletter for even more insights and stories. It's your go-to resource for personal growth and empowerment.
Welcome to Episode 61 of The Just Believe Show with Herbie Mack. In this episode, titled "How Setting Boundaries Can Change Your Life," we'll explore how setting boundaries can help you manage the world's demands and avoid overextending yourself to others. If you ever feel like you're giving too much of yourself to others or overwhelmed by their expectations, this episode is a game-changer you can't miss! In this enlightening episode, we journey together through the simple yet profound concept of setting boundaries. I'll share stories and insights on how a word like "no" can unlock doors to a happier, healthier you. It's not just about keeping people out; it's about inviting peace, respect, and love into your life. Why Listen to This Episode? Discover the power of clear, rigid, and open boundaries. Learn to recognize when boundaries are crossed through gut feelings and emotional responses. Understand the importance of setting healthy boundaries for mental health and relationship harmony. Get practical tips on implementing boundaries in daily life, from managing work emails to protecting your personal space. Join me, Herbie Mack, as we confidently delve into the crucial art of boundary-setting. This episode goes beyond advice; it's a roadmap to a more balanced and fulfilling life. Whether you struggle with saying no or finding balance in your relationships, tune in to discover how setting boundaries can confidently change your life for the better. Don't forget to check out my new Substack newsletter for even more insights and stories. It's your go-to resource for personal growth and empowerment.
Welcome to Episode 60 of The Just Believe Show with Herbie Mack! Get ready to TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE in 2024 with our goal-setting hacks!
Welcome to another enlightening episode of the Just Believe Show with Herbie Mack! Today, we're diving deep into a critical aspect of our well-being: Boosting Self-esteem. This episode is a beacon of hope if you've ever found yourself battling inadequacy or struggling to appreciate your worth. Join Herbie as he shares his journey and offers practical, easy-to-implement strategies to elevate your self-esteem. Key Takeaways: Know Yourself: Discover the power of recognizing your strengths and passions. Appreciate Yourself: Learn to celebrate your achievements and embrace self-compassion. Silence the Inner Critic: Transform criticism into constructive learning and maintain a positive mindset. Expect engaging stories, expert advice, and Herbie's unique perspective on overcoming low self-esteem. This episode is not just a discussion; it's a toolkit for a happier, more confident you! Engage with Us: Don't forget to rate our podcast, share it with friends, and join our challenge this week by sharing one thing that makes you proud! Follow us on social media for more inspiring content. Support our journey towards mental health awareness by rating and sharing the Just Believe Show. To learn more about my mission or to inquire about having me at your upcoming event, please visit https://herbiemack.com/ Stay connected and inspired by following me on social media: https://www.flowcode.com/page/herbiemack Resources for Support If you or someone you know is struggling, there is help available. Reach out to these organizations for Support: The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available 24/7 in English and Spanish.
Welcome to The Just Believe Show, where every story is a journey, and every journey inspires belief. I'm your host, Herbie Mack, inviting you to a powerful discussion on the twists and turns of self-discovery. This is episode 56, called "Discovering Self-Worth in Toxic Relationships." In today's episode featuring the brave and enlightening Cam Taylor, we'll explore practical steps to peel back the layers of personal identity and harness the transformative power of self-love. Join us as we delve deep into Cam's narrative—a tale marked by challenges, personal growth, and a poignant illustration of overcoming adversities through introspection and acceptance.
Welcome to The Just Believe Show, where we dive into stories of adversity and growth and hope to inspire you to believe in a better tomorrow. I'm your host, Herbie Mack, and today. We're thrilled to bring you Episode 55 - "Mental Health, Healing, and the Power of Narrative," featuring an incredible guest, Ian Lewis. Ian, a Philly native turned rural Ecuadorian, takes us on a transformative journey that begins on the baseball field but takes an unexpected turn after a traumatic encounter with the police on his university campus. This raw and enlightening episode explores how Ian rewrote his narrative, turning pain into purpose. Discover the strength found in vulnerability and the peace unearthed through spirituality and connection. Ian's story is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit, from farming in Ecuador to his healing spiritual journey. Despite a grueling legal ordeal, he's found solace in nature, the joy of teaching, and positively impacting the mental health community. Join us as we delve into the nuances of masculinity, the importance of removing toxicity from our lives, and the power of influence. Ian Lewis's journey is a captivating blend of African American and Italian roots, weaving a life that spans borders and explores the soulful realms of spirituality and earthiness. Key Takeaways for Our Listeners: Resilience Can Forge New Paths: Ian's journey showcases the incredible capacity of human resilience to transform setbacks into new and fulfilling opportunities. Outgrow Toxicity for Personal Growth: Ian and Herbie emphasize the importance of distancing oneself from toxic relationships and content, illustrating the significant impact this has on personal development and mental wellness. Spirituality as a Tool for Connection: Spirituality takes center stage in this episode as a bridge to inner peace and self-understanding, with both men sharing their personal experiences of finding balance and authenticity through their spiritual practices. Stay connected with Ian Lewis: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/coach.lewis/ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@coachlewis3107 Spiritual Community: https://sacredinclusion.com/ Land regeneration: https://livingground.art/ To learn more about my mission or to inquire about having me at your upcoming event, please visit https://herbiemack.com/ Stay connected and inspired by following me on social media: https://www.flowcode.com/page/herbiemack Resources for Support If you or someone you know is struggling, there is help available. Reach out to these organizations for Support:
Welcome to Episode 54, My Journey from Domestic Violence to Victory, of The Just Believe Show! Join host Herbie Mack for an inspiring conversation with Craig Daigle, the Unfiltered Life Coach, as he shares his remarkable journey from domestic violence to victory. Discover practical steps and life-changing insights that can empower anyone facing hardships. #JustBelieveShow #MentalHeathAwarness #SuicidePreventionAwareness #DomesticViolenceAwareness Craig Daigle Bio: Living under the weight of opinions and judgments, Craig decided to break free from an 8-year tumultuous relationship in 2015. Facing domestic violence, emotional struggles, and health issues, Craig reached a breaking point. Choking on acid reflux, he stared at himself in the mirror at 4 am, realizing the urgency to change for the sake of his children. For Craig, being overweight and depressed was a constant struggle, but he chose to change. Over five years, he shed 130lbs, found love, and became a proud father. This led Craig to become an unfiltered life coach. He is raw, honest, and UNFILTERED... that's how we make things happen. 5 Lessons from Craig's Journey: Breaking Stigmas: Explore the conversation on male victims of domestic violence, challenging stereotypes and normalizing dialogue for healing and understanding. Power of Choice: Craig's story emphasizes the transformative power of choice and personal reinvention, inspiring listeners to recognize their potential for change. Fitness and Wellness: Learn the importance of adopting a healthy lifestyle, understanding its impact on physical and mental health, and making minor changes to achieve significant differences. Solo Parenthood Triumph: Craig's journey as a single father illuminates solo parenthood's challenges, realities, and rewards and offers practical inspiration for those in similar situations. Financial Wisdom: Craig's experience demonstrates the importance of financial management, prioritization, and budgeting and provides valuable insights for those navigating financial struggles. Stay connected with Craig Daigle: https://www.unfilteredlifecoach.com/ To learn more about my mission or to inquire about having me at your upcoming event, please visit https://herbiemack.com/ Stay connected and inspired by following me on social media: https://www.flowcode.com/page/herbiemack Resources for Support If you or someone you know is struggling, there is help available. Reach out to these organizations for Support:
Welcome back to another powerful episode of The Just Believe Show! I'm your host, Herbie Mack, and today, we embark on a journey of resilience, hope, and healing as we shine a light on the critical topic of veteran mental health and suicide prevention in our episode titled "From Battlefront to Healing." Joining us are two remarkable guests, Dr. Derrick "TC" Copper, a counseling psychologist and Navy Veteran, and Ellsworth "Tony" Williams, a Combat Army Veteran. Together, they share their journeys and the incredible work they do in mental health. In this compelling conversation, Dr. TC Copper, Executive Director of the Suicide Prevention Training Institute, draws on his 35 years of experience providing behavioral health services to the Department of Defense. He takes us through the challenges faced in destigmatizing mental health in the military and emphasizes the vital role of grassroots efforts. As a certified LivingWorks ASIST Trainer, Dr. Copper has dedicated his retirement to establishing the Suicide Prevention Training Institute, showcasing his unwavering commitment to saving lives. Tony Williams, a Combat Army Veteran with over 24 years of service, shares his inspiring journey from active duty to becoming the President/CEO of Veterans Counseling Veterans Inc. His dedication to serving fellow veterans led him to obtain a master's degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling, and he continues to make a significant impact in the mental health community. Tony's accolades, including the 2014 National Award "For Social Service," highlight his passion and commitment. Join us as we explore mental health resources, including the Suicide Prevention Training Institute and Veterans Counseling Veterans Inc. We'll celebrate Tony Williams' induction into the Florida Veterans Hall of Fame on 14 November in Tallahassee. Guests will discuss the importance of breaking the silence around mental health, journaling, reflection, and community support. Discover how these two remarkable individuals are making a difference in the lives of veterans and their families. From their challenges to the triumphs of grassroots efforts, this episode is a beacon of hope and empowerment. Join us as we shed light on the pressing issue of veteran mental health, learn from the experts, and inspire each other to create positive change. #JustBelieveShow #VerteransMentalHealthMatters #SuicidePreventionAwareness #MentalHealthAwareness Suicide Prevention Training Institute's website: https://www.educatingtosavelives.org/ Veterans Counseling Veterans website: https://vetscounselingvets.org/ To learn more about my mission or to inquire about having me at your upcoming event, please visit https://herbiemack.com/. Stay connected and inspired by following me on social media: https://www.flowcode.com/page/herbiemack Resources for Support If you or someone you know is struggling, there is help available. Reach out to these organizations for Support:
Welcome back to another eye-opening episode of The Just Believe Show! I'm your host, Herbie Mack, and today, we have a remarkable guest, Joy Larkin, joining us for an in-depth conversation on a topic that touches many lives: healing from narcissistic abuse. In this gripping episode, Joy shares her journey, insights, and invaluable advice on finding love and healing from the clutches of narcissistic relationships. She's no stranger to the emotional rollercoaster that such relationships can be. Joy's experiences serve as a beacon of hope, guiding you to recognize the red flags in potential partners and helping you navigate the often treacherous waters of narcissistic entanglements. Joy Larkin is more than just a guest; she's a seasoned author and mentor with firsthand experience dealing with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Her book, "Reclaim Your Life Back: My Journey into Understanding Narcissism," is a testament to her dedication to helping others break free from the chains of narcissistic relationships. As her wisdom and guidance became increasingly sought after, Joy expanded her reach by penning a new book, "Your Pain Will Make You Successful: A Guide To Living Your Best Life After Dealing With Mental, Emotional, And Psychological Pain." This book is a comprehensive resource for anyone looking to overcome pain, discover their true identity and self-worth, and achieve lasting success. Join us for this thought-provoking and empowering conversation with Joy Larkin, the expert who understands the ins and outs of narcissistic abuse and how to emerge victorious on the path to healing and self-discovery. If you're ready to regain control of your life and find joy again, this episode is a must-listen! #JustBelieveShow #MentalHealthMatters #SuicidePreventionAwareness #DealingWithNarcissists #Narcissism Don't miss this inspirational episode of The Just Believe Show. Subscribe now and embark on a journey of healing and hope. To learn more about Joy Larkin, please visit https://livenarcfree.com/ Joy Larkin's book Your Pain Will Make You Successful. Your-Pain-Will-Make-Successful Joy Larkin's book Reclaim Your Life Back.: My journey into understanding narcissism. Reclaim Your Life Back.: My journey into understanding narcissism. Stay connected with Joy on social media. livenarcfree.llc To learn more about my mission or to inquire about having me at your upcoming event, please visit https://herbiemack.com/. Stay connected and inspired by following me on social media
Welcome to The Just Believe Show! In this exciting episode, we have a special guest, Dr. Chris Kastner, a wellness expert with a passion for natural medicine. Join us as we dive into Dr. Kastner's incredible journey, from helping people with mental health to exploring the world of cupping therapy. Our host, Herbie Mack, visited Dr. Kastner at the Aiki Wellness Center in Bradenton, Florida, to discover the secrets of balancing brain chemicals, improving memory, and restoring body balance. Dr. Kastner will also share insights into running a successful holistic health practice, blending Eastern and Western approaches. But who is Dr. Chris Kastner? He's a certified expert in acupuncture and Oriental Medicine, with degrees in Alternative Medicine and more. His passion for healing comes from martial arts, and he's fascinated by the science behind acupuncture. Aiki Wellness uses holistic treatments like acupuncture, herbal medicine, and clinical nutrition to help your body heal itself. They believe in the power of food and its connection to mental well-being. Plus, they explore the link between emotions and physical health. If you're curious about natural healing and want to learn about holistic healthcare solutions, join us for this enlightening episode of The Just Believe Show. Dr. Kastner's expertise will inspire you to embrace alternative medicine and discover the fantastic transformations it can bring. #JustBelieveShow #MentalHealthMatters #TheeSuicidePreventionSpecialist Dr. Chris Kastner's website - aikiwellness.com Stay connected and inspired by following me on social media
Welcome to another compelling episode of The Just Believe Show! I'm your compassionate host, Herbie Mack, and today, we're delving deep into the critical subject of suicide prevention. As a host dedicated to raising mental health awareness and suicide prevention, I often receive inquiries from various platforms regarding this pressing issue. I'm genuinely honored to address them. In light of Suicide Prevention Month, we aim to foster essential conversations like these. Recognizing the impossibility of responding to every individual inquiry, in this episode, I'll be addressing a carefully curated selection of questions that offer diverse perspectives on suicide prevention. Before we dive into this insightful Q&A session, I'd like to take a moment to share a personal reflection. Being a devoted members of the mental health and suicide prevention community, we've recognized the significance of a language shift. We now use the term "died by suicide" instead of "committed suicide" to underscore our empathy and respect for the individual and their loved ones. It's time to leave behind outdated language that can perpetuate harm. With that crucial point in mind, join us as we embark on this enlightening journey. Our first question: What is suicide prevention? Stay tuned as we navigate this complex topic, providing valuable insights on how each one of us can contribute to making a meaningful difference in the lives of those who need it most. #JustBelieveShow #MentalHealthMatters #TheeSuicidePreventionSpecialist Stay connected and inspired by following me on social media
In this enlightening episode of The Just Believe Show, recorded live at the NAMI Florida Conference, our host, Herbie Mack, engages in a profound conversation with the incredible Aisha T. McDonald, LMHC. Asia is a mental health advocate, clinician, equity, inclusion consultant, mental health first aid instructor, suicidologist, and behavioral health expert. Together, they delve deep into the challenges faced by black men and women in today's society. Aisia's journey, passion for promoting diversity, and mission to provide accessible and relatable mental health support form the heart of this discussion. The episode explores the significance of representation, the impact of historical trauma in the black community, and strategies for navigating mental health challenges. Aisia's insights, shared experiences, and dedication to healing make this episode a powerful exploration of the complexities and triumphs of life as black individuals in today's world, as presented at the NAMI Florida Conference. Connect with Aisha McDonald Aisha McDonald Stay connected and inspired by following me on social media
Welcome to The Just Believe Show, where stories of resilience, transformation, and the extraordinary power of belief come to life. Today, in an episode that will tug at your heartstrings and ignite your hope, Herbie Mack introduces you to the captivating tale of Crystal Medley, a woman who navigated the treacherous waters of despair and emerged on the shores of redemption. Imagine everything falling apart - Crystal's relationships, her world, and even her daughter taken away. But she didn't give in. She fought to get her daughter back and battled her problems. Crystal's story is like a big adventure. She fought to protect her daughter, worked hard to beat her problems, and even found help in a surprising place - a church. Along the way, she had challenging moments but always kept going because of her love for her daughter and the support of her loved ones. In this special episode, Crystal shares her journey of struggle and success. It's a story of strength, hope, and believing that no matter how hard life gets, you can always find a way to make it better. #JustBeliveShow #MentalHealthMatters #NationalRecoveryMonth Connect with Crystal Medley Crystal Medley Stay connected and inspired by following me on social media
Welcome to The Just Believe Show, a collaborative effort between NAMI Pinellas and the Just Believe Show, with our episode titled "BIPOC Voices, Mental Health, and Self-Discovery." I'm your host, Herbie Mack, and today's discussion is enlightening and inspiring. Our esteemed guest, Lola B. Morgan, is not only the author of the impactful book "The Butterfly and the Bully," she is also a certified life coach and a mental health first aid instructor. Her expertise lies in teaching individuals how to support those navigating mental health and substance abuse crises. In this episode, we dive into the critical themes of fear, hope, and the importance of representation in mental health. Lola B. Morgan's journey through mental health challenges is awe-inspiring. She candidly shares her battles with inner darkness, shedding light on many's harsh realities. Throughout our conversation, Lola emphasizes the significance of seeing someone who resembles you openly discussing mental health. We also delve into her background in entertainment and her mission to create inclusive and safe spaces where individuals can embrace their true selves. Join us as we explore the powerful intersection of BIPOC voices, mental health, and self-discovery in this compelling episode. Stay tuned for insights that will resonate with you on a profound level. #JustBelieveShow #BipocMentalHealthMatters Connect with Lola B. Morgan Lola B. Morgan's Website Stay connected and inspired by following me on social media
Join host Herbie Mack and special guest Mike on The Just Believe Show as we explore the transformative journey of personal growth and resilience. In this episode, "Discover Personal Growth and Resilience," we dive into the power of vacations for rejuvenation and growth. Learn from our host's personal vacation experience and mindset shift. Discover how to reframe your thoughts, embrace failure as a stepping stone, and enhance relationships through effective communication. Delve into the impact of social media on self-perception and mental health, and hear about our host's real-life struggles and triumphs on the path to success. Uncover actionable insights for your growth journey in this inspiring episode. Tune in and start believing in your potential for resilience and growth. Connect with Mike on social media. Mike's Instagram Stay connected and inspired by following me on social media
Welcome back to The Just Believe Show! In today's episode, Herbie Mack takes us on a journey of hope and healing. From a pivotal turning point after his last suicide attempt to building a resilient community around him, Herbie's story is one of strength and transformation. He shares how a seemingly joyous graduation day triggered inner turmoil, leading him down a dark path of depression and self-destructive behavior. Through the compassion of a friend, a life-changing call to the Suicide Prevention Lifeline, and a male nurse who saw potential, Herbie found his way to healing. Join us for an inspiring conversation as Herbie reflects on the importance of supportive networks, the pursuit of healthier coping strategies, and the significance of seeking therapy. This episode shines a light on the power of hope and showcases the possibility of recovery for all. Let's believe together in the strength of the human spirit! #JustBelieveShow Stay connected and inspired by following me on social media
Herbie Mack is a suicide prevention specialist and keynote speaker who provides post-suicide attempt guidance. He is also the host of the Herbie Mack Show. Herbie's Human Design: 3/5 Manifesting-Generator with Emotional Authority Herbie's Astrology: Sagittarius (Sun), Pisces (Moon), Libra (Rising) Herbie's Songs For Our Spotify Playlist: Three Little Birds by Bob Markey & Man in the Mirror by Michael Jackson *** Trigger Warning: Inside of this episode, we discuss topics such as suicide and depression. If these are sensitive or triggering topics for you, please listen with awareness and make sure you are supported during/after listening. If you are in crisis or know someone who is, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline - Text 988, Call 1-800-273-TALK (8255), or Call 911. *** Inside this episode, we dive into: Herbie openly shares about his rock bottom moments struggling with depression and multiple suicide attempts that led him to begin walking a path of emotional healing and self love The impact of sharing your personal story/experiences with a live audience How Herbie uses journaling as a form of self therapy to identify the areas that he wants to improve upon in his life Embracing self responsbility on our healing journeys paired with self kindness, recognition, and celebration The power of taking things one step at a time and accomplishing incremental goals along our journey Herbie's journey of learning how to love himself and create a true foundation for himself Unpacking the danger of comparing yourself to others The importance in crying and expressing your emotions, especially as a man & so much more! Herbie's Website: www.herbiemack.com Herbie's Instagram: @hbmack Herbie's Podcast on Apple: The Just Believe Show Herbie's Podcast on Spotify: The Just Believe Show Connect with Shannon on Instagram: @shannonkeating For 1:1 Coaching, Human Design Readings, & Intuitive Readings: www.shannonkeating.com For Coaching & Community for Young Women (Ages 18-24 years old): www.babesrising.co Podcast Sponsored by: Ayurvedic Protein (Use code: shannon for 10% off your order!)
So honoured to once again speak with Herbie. He's a fellow survivor with a huge mission. We talk about Social Media and You.. the Good the Bad and the Resources you can use to manage your digital life. Empowering Suicide Prevention Specialist and Keynote Speaker with Expertise in Suicide Ideation Education and Post-Attempt Guidance | Host of the Just Believe Show | Dedicated to Helping Those Struggling with Suicide. Daily Dose of Inspiration! Mental health is not a destination; it's a journey. A journey that requires patience, self-love, and support. Remember to care for your mental health daily, not just during Mental Health Month. #JustBelieve #MentalHealthMatters Suicide Prevention Specialist • Suicide Ideation Educator • Provide post-suicide attempt guidance • Keynote Speaker Host of @thejustbelieveshow. Socials And Site https://herbiemack.com/ https://www.facebook.com/imherbiemack/ https://www.instagram.com/hbmack https://www.tiktok.com/@herbiemack https://www.twitter.com/HBMACK https://www.youtube.com/@imherbiemack ------------------------------------------- Transcript # Herbie Mack Returns S4 E15 [00:00:00] [00:00:00] **Elaine Lindsay:** Hello. It's good to be back. Very happy to be here and excited to have a returning guest today I'm going to be here with Herby Mack, who was on the show back in 2022. And we have a lot to talk about. This is gonna be more of a conversation about what we see going on now. Herbie Mac is an amazing speaker. [00:00:28] **Elaine Lindsay:** He's all about suicide prevention and just one of the loveliest guys I've ever met. So, without further ado, here we go. Hi. Herbie. [00:00:42] **Herbie Mack:** How's everything? [00:00:43] **Elaine Lindsay:** It's good. It's good to see you. [00:00:46] **Herbie Mack:** Likewise, likewise. I'm, I'm honored to be a returning guest and also, I'm just ready for this conversation. I think that's how we can prevent suicide. [00:00:56] **Herbie Mack:** It's just my conversation. [00:00:58] **Elaine Lindsay:** That is such a [00:01:00] perfect start to this. Yes it is conversation. Talking is, to me the most important thing and I know for your generation and younger, we're starting to get that message out. For my generation, talking was not something you ever give. And I have a, a real deep-seated need to make sure that all of us, right down to the youngest person who might have a suicidal thought, I want you to know you need to reach out and talk to someone, anyone. [00:01:47] **Elaine Lindsay:** Don't keep it inside, because what people sometimes don't remember all the thoughts that run through your head. Number one, they're not real. Number two, they're not true. And number three, when you [00:02:00] tell someone you lessen that burden. [00:02:06] **Elaine Lindsay:** So that, that's my little often running. That's [00:02:10] **Herbie Mack:** your TED talk? [00:02:12] **Elaine Lindsay:** That's my mini TED talk. Yes, yes. Talk to somebody. Anybody [00:02:17] **Herbie Mack:** I do agree. You know, for myself, during the, the challenges that I had, the struggles and, and trying to decide if I wanna be here or not, I found it easier once I started talking to like, really backtrack that man, you know, do, do I wanna make that forever decision. [00:02:37] **Herbie Mack:** And it's like, no, I don't, I actually want to be here, but I want the pain to end. And, but I. When I sat down and started having conversations with people, right. The, support group that I like to say, they really helped me reframe my mindset of like, man, I understand that you're hurting, but it is okay to, to, to ask for help. [00:02:56] **Herbie Mack:** And now, like, you know, being a guy like, oh my [00:03:00] life, they've been saying, you know, asking for help is a sign of weakness. **So I started reframing my mindset into let me use my resources, and that changed everything. ** [00:03:12] **Elaine Lindsay:** Oh my God, that's brilliant. That is brilliant. [00:03:17] **Herbie Mack:** Yeah. You just being told, like, you know, asking for help. [00:03:21] **Herbie Mack:** Weakness, weakness, weakness. But then when you look at it and you say, let me ask, let me use my resources, it it, it's you realizing like, man, I have great assets and friends or maybe access to actually seek someone to, to. Provide the proper help that I need, whether it's a, you know, a counselor, a therapist, social worker, whomever works for you that can help you get out of that negative mindset. [00:03:46] **Herbie Mack:** And once I've said that, it was just like, oh, life is so much easier. Right? Because like, like if my car breaks down and I know I need a ride, I'm gonna call you. Not because I'm active for help, I'm just looking at my phone and I'm looking at the resources that I have that can give me a [00:04:00] ride to where I need to go. [00:04:01] **Herbie Mack:** Yes. [00:04:03] **Elaine Lindsay:** And I'm sorry you'll wait a little while for me to get there, but I'll be there. [00:04:07] **Herbie Mack:** You're worth the wait. [00:04:08] **Elaine Lindsay:** Okay. You're such a sweetheart. Oh. Giving aside, no, I think that's a really, really good point. Reframing gives us an opportunity. To turn things on their head. And we talk about that in business. [00:04:24] **Elaine Lindsay:** Yes, a lot reframing how you go about managing your business can inject a, a whole new outlook. So why not, you know, take that as a resource and use that in your personal toolbox. And that brings us to two things. I really believe that we need to start the conversations with elementary school children. [00:04:55] **Elaine Lindsay:** Suicidal ideation starts a lot younger than [00:05:00] people think. And y you said you decided y you knew you wanted to be here. People who know my story know that I lost a dear friend at 16 and her death was her showing me. That leaving was not the best option and what it would do to those that I would leave behind. [00:05:27] **Elaine Lindsay:** And I think because I'm so hardheaded, the universe decided that that was the way to show me. And, and it doesn't work for everybody. It's not necessary for everybody, thank God. But we need to be sure that from childhood you understand that not everything that goes through your head ha you have to act on, or, or is the truth or, or is in fact reality. [00:05:58] **Elaine Lindsay:** And you [00:06:00] can't fix what you don't understand or don't know. And, and in all honesty, I don't think school prepares us for any of the things that actually happen in life. [00:06:15] **Herbie Mack:** Yes. And I, I would say yes and no. Yeah. Like, is there, is there, is there a, a subject for it? Like in a school curriculum, probably not. [00:06:23] **Herbie Mack:** Right? But then when you come across certain teachers, certain teachers have a certain way on you. You know, for myself, I was having, in high school, I was really struggling. My sister died from cancer. And one of my friends who was like, Hey, you know, do you play basketball? Whatnot, was like, oh, yeah, yeah, I do. [00:06:41] **Herbie Mack:** And I was actually pretty good. And then he suggests, let's go on the basketball team. Let's try out, we make the team. And it was a coach that really helped me out, not only in that moment, but in life. He was always saying, Hey Herby, what's the weakest areas in your game? I'm just like, dude, I don't know. [00:06:57] **Herbie Mack:** You're the coach. Like, you're supposed to let me know. [00:07:00] And he's like he's like, all right, look, I'm gonna teach you the, these tools to know what areas to improve on. So this way when the season's over, you can work on it. Cool, right? Like just analyzing my game. So when I was going through my suicidal ideations and, and, and attempts when it's like time to pick me up, I decided to use that method, right? [00:07:20] **Herbie Mack:** But instead of using it in a basketball term of like, oh, like, let me look at the film. The film was me sitting down and actually journaling, right? So this way I was able to understand what areas in my life I have to improve on. You know, in my mind, you know, when, when you, you know, when you're in your twenties and your thirties, you think, I know it all right? [00:07:39] **Herbie Mack:** Like, my life is good. My life is amazing. But then when I sat down and took that moment to pause and analyze the game and, and my writing right, I realized my foundation was extremely weak. I didn't really have a great foundation, so what can I do? What can I work on? How to build a foundation, right? [00:07:55] **Herbie Mack:** Then it went from finances, right? Like realizing that I am [00:08:00] making a lot of irrational decisions, emotional decisions, instead of logical decisions on like, Hey, I'm going out to the club, I'm going out to the strip clubs, I'm going out to the bars. We're going here and there. But then the long term, I wasn't really putting an investment on myself, right? [00:08:14] **Herbie Mack:** So it was like stuff like that. And I always thank coach White for just taking the time to help me break down the game of basketball. But then I had to learn how to reframe my mind and use it in a, in a way of like, in a game of life, what areas do I need to prove on? What can I do? What, what was, and that despite like one of the biggest, like, thank you. [00:08:36] **Herbie Mack:** I can, I can, I can say about him. Yeah. And, and it was wasn't just the. The skills of basketball he taught also taught me about life. Hey man, you know, slow down. You're moving too fast. It's fast. You don't need to hang out with people. That's taking, taking a, well, not taking, but adding distractions in your life. [00:08:55] **Elaine Lindsay:** It's incredible. And I think all of us have those people in our lives. [00:09:00] Sometimes it takes a while for us to, to be able to remember what it was that someone did for you or, or you know, how useful the information you learned was. But I think everybody at some point gets someone in their life. And if you can be aware of these types of mentors and these types of people, then when we are open, To help when we're open to resources, let's say, let's not use the word help when we're open to resources and to, to interacting with others who may have other game plans that we can use. [00:09:48] **Elaine Lindsay:** The universe provides whether you call it God or the universe or a higher power, whatever you call it. Okay. They, it will be provided. It's [00:10:00] just a matter of being open, being curious. Right. I think that's really important and, and that, that's sort of let, let's segue into what I see as one of the biggest issues. [00:10:17] **Elaine Lindsay:** A a, an area I've, I've worked in for many, many years, but social media is both a blessing and a curse. And like everything that's happening right now online ai, all of the, the changes that we are going through, it is ramping up to the speed of light. And none of us had the time or the foresight to listen to those who were saying, caution, caution here. [00:10:56] **Elaine Lindsay:** And here we are. You and I are here [00:11:00] because suicide in the world now is the second leading cause of death. More than 800,000 people died from suicide every year. Like that's, that's a staggering number. And the most, I think, terrifying. Part of that. Is, there are many, many times social media's involved. [00:11:31] **Elaine Lindsay:** Yeah, [00:11:32] **Herbie Mack:** yeah, yeah. I, you know, it, it's, I love social media and I hate it at the same time, you know, you can be, be someone with you know, amazing smile and you can post a picture like, oh, what a wonderful day. And then you'll have someone that you may, you you may know or you may not know, that will reply in your picture and be like, oh, you're ugly, or whatever, you're fat, or whatever. [00:11:56] **Herbie Mack:** And it's, and that can just be a [00:12:00] spark for someone who's already having insecurities that's just like, man, you know what? I'm always getting picked on. Nobody loves me. And you learn not to love yourself. And then you go into that negative place of making that forever decision and. I feel like when it comes to social media, yes we do dictate what we watch, what we control, who's in our who's on our feed no matter what platform you choose. [00:12:22] **Herbie Mack:** And for myself, I had to do something. When I was in that negative mindset, I just got off of social media cause I wasn't that strong enough. And then when I got back on social media, I started unfollowing some of my friends that wasn't align, aligning to what I wanted. Right. I wanted to be someone who woke up and had positive thoughts, all this stuff. [00:12:44] **Herbie Mack:** So I started following people that was inspiring me to do that. And I started unfollowing people who was just like poaching, posting pictures of like, them just sitting on the couch, right? Like, it's not really adding the value that I needed or, or they started posting things [00:13:00] that wasn't aligned with me as far as like negative Negative, negative fights. [00:13:04] **Herbie Mack:** Like, you know, it's just like, oh, you know, like all this negative stuff. And it's just like, I didn't need that. And it takes, I wanna say bravery to one, acknowledge like, Hey, I'm not in that mindset to, to receive all this negative stuff. I don't want this negative stuff. Let me unfollow certain people. Like I unfollow some of my family members, right? [00:13:25] **Herbie Mack:** Not because I don't love them, but what they was shown on their feet, I didn't wanna see anymore. Yeah. And then I, same thing with friends. And for that, you know, when it comes to social media, you want to make sure that you're, you're following people. That's going to inspire you or gonna add value, whether it's entertainment of like, you know, something that's gonna make you laugh, that's not gonna bring you down. [00:13:46] **Herbie Mack:** Yeah. And I think, I think it should be something that's talked about now. It's like we control our social media that is like our cable to say the least, right? Yeah. So it's like, hey, let me, let me follow this. Whether it's a sports team, whether it's a [00:14:00] motivational speaker, whether it is your favorite podcast about, about phishes, right? [00:14:05] **Herbie Mack:** Like, it's like, let me follow something that makes me happy, that add value and the stuff that doesn't, I'm just gonna block out. I don't wanna see this, I don't want that. And then that just only thing, only thing that's gonna come from that is obviously you being a better person, but you're gonna get the right people in your circle. [00:14:21] **Herbie Mack:** Yeah. That's gonna vibe with you. That's gonna not bring you down, but lift you up. [00:14:26] **Elaine Lindsay:** Absolutely. And in talking to younger people, I know how exciting it is to, to get likes and to have comments and, you know, and, and to try and keep up with those, sorry. But the Kardashians and what have you. And I'm not knocking the Kardashians. [00:14:50] **Elaine Lindsay:** Okay. I have to say for, for all the stuff that's out there, these are good, smart business women Okay. Who put a [00:15:00] lot of effort into what they do and, and kudos to you. And, and I have to say, I actually like Kylie's lipsticks, so there you go. Even at my age, but all of those people, okay. They didn't start with a billion followers. [00:15:18] **Elaine Lindsay:** They didn't start yesterday. So all of the young people that are looking at the college Jenners and, and What's Kelsey Ballerini and, and all of these people, yes, it looks wonderful, but they didn't get there in five minutes. You have to take time. There's no rush to living your life. Try and be where you are. [00:15:43] **Elaine Lindsay:** And for, for me, I see the problem with the young people is one bad comic can be the end of somebody. Like, it's happened. This, this is not, you know, this is not a fairy [00:16:00] story. This is the truth. And, and the fact is, I, I have a, a different take now than I would have early on in social media, even young people. [00:16:13] **Elaine Lindsay:** I want you to look at the people that troll others, the people that say hurtful things that don't even know you. Imagine, okay. That you can see into their life. I guarantee you, you're going to see pain and hurt and trauma and old stuff that they're carting along with them because people who hurt are the ones who hurt other people. [00:16:43] **Elaine Lindsay:** And, and that's true all the time. It doesn't matter what they're hurting with. I posted a little video on the Instagram it was one of the school shootings. I, [00:17:00] I just breaks my heart. And this year specifically, it's been happening so much. There were more than 150 shootings and there weren't 150 days in the year at that point. [00:17:14] **Elaine Lindsay:** And I, I just had enough. It was late at night. I'm tired of crying over other people's children. And I just got on and said like, I'm sorry, America, what is wrong? What is wrong with you? That you value guns more than children? Yeah. How? How can that be? And I had a couple of really vicious trolls that were calling me all kinds of things. [00:17:38] **Elaine Lindsay:** And it was like, okay, I feel very sad for you. Thank you for sharing. And that's that because I can't do anything about your opinion if you are not open to learning something new. And therefore, me trying to interact with you [00:18:00] or change your opinion at this point is futile for me. So if I just say, thank you for sharing, and this came from Marissa Pier, a hypnotist. [00:18:13] **Elaine Lindsay:** That sort of diffuses things because there's no comeback for them. No, it's not okay. And any comeback is if, if you are somewhere where you have to engage, you just keep repeating. Thank you for sharing, because you don't wanna be rude, you don't wanna engage and ramp it up because the only person who's gonna get hurt is you. [00:18:41] **Elaine Lindsay:** And in social media, my suggestion for young people, the minute someone trolls you and it's someone you don't know, block them. I don't care what platform you're on, I don't care that your friends follow them. Don't care about [00:19:00] any of that. Somebody attacks you. Think of that as your little space. Okay? [00:19:05] **Elaine Lindsay:** That's your little place. Somebody comes into your home and attacks you, you block them, they're gone. Okay. And, and there's no three strikes here, okay? We are talking about your mental health, your wellbeing, and, and keeping you going. So no three strikes, one strike block. 'em, you do not, as Herbe said, you don't need that in your life. [00:19:33] **Elaine Lindsay:** No, you don't. It's just not worth it. [00:19:36] **Herbie Mack:** Yeah, no, I wanted to add to that as well. You know, if, you know, it doesn't even matter if you don't know them, if you know, like it's not worth your energy. As far as as like the negative stuff, the negative comments, even for myself, like, you know, as much positive stuff I try to send out to the world, I do get negative comments or negative dms. [00:19:54] **Herbie Mack:** And even with that, you know, I acknowledge it. Okay. All right. That's how you feel. I didn't [00:20:00] resonate with you. Okay, cool. And. I don't even, I don't even take it home with me. You know, as far as like that. It's like, oh, okay, cool. Like that's, everyone is entitled to how they feel, what, you know. But for myself, I know, like I'm trying to add good, I'm trying to be the, the, the shine my light, right? [00:20:20] **Herbie Mack:** Like I'm trying to shine people light on who, who are struggling. Oh, just might just need a, a little pick me up. And sometimes it's, it's me, right? Like I'll create a pulse and I see it like two days later, like, oh, you know what? That actually resonated. And for the negative feedback that I do get back, it's just like, okay, cool. [00:20:36] **Herbie Mack:** Thank you. As you said, thank you. Appreciate it. And just keep it pushing it. And if they do want to keep going, then yeah, obviously you just hit the block button. You know, I, I'm all about creating space for people who need space, but also you have to put on your own, your own oxygen mask, right? This is not helping me, so I can't assist you. [00:20:54] **Herbie Mack:** Yeah. You know, you know, so it's like leave me alone. But, but needless to say, when it comes to to social [00:21:00] media, I do give myself a limit, right? Because it can be unhealthy. Yeah, it can be addictive as far as like, oh, look how many likes I got, look how many people view my reels. But then it's like, am I really doing it for, you know, the benefit of helping out people or am I doing it for the likes? [00:21:16] **Herbie Mack:** And it, when you start thinking about that or questioning that, that's when you might have to take a moment to just get off of social media. So, you know, one day, one day a week, my one day is like Sundays. I really don't try to engage on social media. I might have some stuff scheduled to post, but as far as like me like spending hours on it, nah, it, it's, I need to still be, you know, dealing with the kids, dealing with the wife, or just taking a walk and just really being present in in life. [00:21:45] **Elaine Lindsay:** Absolutely. And yeah, Sunday around here the dog and I go see my dad and. You know, we, we do family things and what have you, and the only reason I even have a phone beside me is because my father's 90 years [00:22:00] old and he needs to be able to get in contact with me. I very often leave the phone in the kitchen because it's just, it's become so, it's not even secondary anymore. [00:22:15] **Elaine Lindsay:** It's so far down the list of priorities that yes, as a business we, we do schedule things that will go out and that's, that is, you know, it's part of business. You have to, but for, for me, responding and what have you, I found that weekends should be for family and if you can take one or two days to just sort of distance yourself from it all. [00:22:42] **Elaine Lindsay:** Now, I understand if you are a teenager or you are in your twenties, You are thinking, I have two heads and I'm a nut. There's no way you're gonna spend that much time away from your friends. And it's okay. I [00:23:00] totally get it. But you wanna be sure. Okay, Herbie said, are you doing it to add value or are you doing it? [00:23:09] **Elaine Lindsay:** And I'm gonna say for the dopamine, yeah, that hit of dopamine inside is such a boost. That's what those likes do for you. It puts little firecrackers off in your head that that give you that wonderful feeling. And we all love dopamine. We love that, that euphoria that you get. And that's good. But it's like anything else. [00:23:35] **Elaine Lindsay:** Think about eating three ice cream cones instead of one, and then you get sick. Okay, really that third one was not worth it. Cut back a little. Give yourself as her rec. Give yourself time. Yes. Set yourself a limit and stick to that limit. And please God for if you do nothing [00:24:00] else, I want you, before you hit the floor with your feet in the morning, take a couple of breaths. [00:24:09] **Elaine Lindsay:** Be grateful that you're breathing. Think about your day and get the hell out of the bed before you touch that phone or tablet or whatever else it is that you've got stuck beside your head. Okay? Because all that external stuff, as much as it's fun and important in your life, it's not the end all be all. [00:24:34] **Elaine Lindsay:** And when you start each day with gratitude, you are more likely to finish that day the same way. [00:24:41] **Herbie Mack:** Yes. I, I wouldn't say so. That's a funny story. Not a really funny story, but so it was like me, me and my brother, a couple of my friends, we went out to like, go out to eat and one of my friends was like, all right, look dude. [00:24:56] **Herbie Mack:** We're all on our phone, we're out here, we're, you know, we all came to see each other [00:25:00] like, what's going on? And so we had a friendly bet, everybody put down this, their cell phone, and it was four of us. And it was like everybody putting down their cell phone, the first person picks up their cell phone, has to pay the whole entire task. [00:25:11] **Herbie Mack:** All right, now you think it's like four guys, so you know it's gonna be way more than like 20 bucks. And so with that, it was just like, oh, okay, this is like challenging. But then it, it, the, I'm gonna show my age. It took us back before like the cell phone times where everybody just was engaging and having conversations and really actually catching up and not just like, oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah. [00:25:36] **Herbie Mack:** Oh, hey, did you see this? Oh, guess what? Like, you know, like, this is what's going on in the, in the world of sports, or this is what's going on in pop culture. And it was just like, no. Like, we actually was like, Hey, what's going on in your life? How's everything improving? Did you actually get that bonus that you was looking for? [00:25:49] **Herbie Mack:** Did you get that raise right? Or, Hey, how's school going? And we did that. And obviously dinner was probably like an hour, hour and a half or so. And for that hour and a [00:26:00] half, like you hear the phone's buzzing and no one picked up the phone. Well, one, nobody wanted to pick up that tab, but it was like, man, we took it back to back in the days before cell phones. [00:26:11] **Herbie Mack:** Right? Like I like to say BC times before cell phones. Oh, I like that. And, and we was just actually just engaging into conversations and not only engages in, into conversations, but like really engaging with it and within us, right? Like, man, I'm making an investment into you cuz you know what, this is the most important thing that I'm never gonna get this time with you. [00:26:31] **Herbie Mack:** I can always replay a reel or replay a YouTube video, whatever, but I can't re, I can't. Repurpose this, right? This event of like, yes, man, here we are. We're actually doing well. One is in college, one is actually like in their field, the other one is still trying to figure out how can we support. So I was like, seeing that was, was something that I enjoy. [00:26:53] **Herbie Mack:** And then like every time, every now and then when we do go out, we always like, Hey, no cell phones. He's like, oh, you gonna pick up the [00:27:00] tab? All right. No cell phones, you know, unless it's like, you know, the wife or something like that. Yeah, yeah. Then like, okay, cool, we get it. But like, other than that, it's like, dude, we don't wanna see No, no Facebook, no Instagram, no TikTok, no YouTube. [00:27:12] **Herbie Mack:** We just want to like, Hey, let's spend time and and catch up. Yeah. [00:27:16] **Elaine Lindsay:** No, and I think that's important. And I think even, even if you are 11, 12, 13, you need to make a plan with your friends to do that maybe once a week. Okay. Spend an hour with your friends. Face to face and talk to them. Just talk to them. [00:27:37] **Elaine Lindsay:** Because talking seems to be a, a lot less of what younger people do. I see it all the time. You go into a restaurant and there are kids sitting at the table and they all have phones, but if you go really close, they're talking to the other people at the table, just [00:27:55] **Herbie Mack:** texted each other. It's like, [00:27:57] **Elaine Lindsay:** what? Yeah. [00:27:57] **Elaine Lindsay:** That is crazy. Yeah. [00:28:00] And the first time I saw that I, I literally stopped and the young lady across the table laughed and looked up and smiled across the table and I thought, oh, please tell me they're not actually texting each other. And I went up to the table. First of all, they thought it was just some nutty old lady, whoa, what do you want, woman? [00:28:23] **Elaine Lindsay:** And I said, you know, I don't mean to be rude, but are you texting each other? And they looked at me like I had three heads and were. Yeah, but they're in front of you. Like, could you not say that? And, and they, they took a beat and looked at me like, oh yeah, I guess they, they didn't stop. They went back to their texting that we saw them later, but maybe I put a little bug in their head that the next time they'll look up and actually say something to the person at the table. [00:28:59] **Elaine Lindsay:** [00:29:00] We, we have become, you know, I've said before as such a society of immediacy and, and fomo. Like, God forbid we don't know something happened this second. That's no way to live. If you are, you're constantly pushing your body. It's not just about dopamine. When you make yourself so stressed that you're waiting for to be sure you know what happens, you are, you know, flooding yourself with cortisol and other. [00:29:32] **Elaine Lindsay:** Hormones and things that are not helpful to you, and being in that hyper state, that was, that was good when you were a caveman and you were running away from sabertooth tigers. But we don't have those kinds of immediate danger every second in our lives anymore. Yet that's how we are living internally, and that's causing all kinds of problems [00:30:00] for young people and old people alike because it, it is not, the body is not meant to produce that amount of cortisol or, or those amounts of adrenaline or, or the, the fear motivators that flight, fight, or flight response, it should not be 24 7. [00:30:22] **Elaine Lindsay:** Yeah. [00:30:23] **Herbie Mack:** No, I agree. No, I agree with that. I just wanted to, to add value to what you said as far as like that, you know, sometimes not only with social media, the world seem like it's moving too fast and, and to take that moment to slow it down, whether you start writing, whether you start journaling, coloring, whatever. [00:30:46] **Herbie Mack:** Just taking a moment to just not be in the phone, not really engage, to just be with your thoughts. And for some people it can be, man, that's, that's a lot to take on my own thoughts. But releasing those thoughts, [00:31:00] whether they're negative or positive, helps, right? You, you're keeping all that inside, you're keeping all that bottle up where to a point where it's like, man, it's unhealthy. [00:31:09] **Herbie Mack:** And like, oh, well I just share it with my friends. I'll text and whatever sometimes, and I'm just speaking for myself. Sometimes you may not want that feedback. Right. You just want to be, have a, a, a safe space to vent and not everybody is strong enough to, to take on whatever burden that you have to carry. [00:31:28] **Herbie Mack:** Yeah. And that's why I find it so easier, beneficial to release those emotions, whether it's in a book or, or coloring. Yeah. Right. Excuse me. So one of the times I was really struggling and I was on, on the way of picking myself up. One of my buddies, my buddies probably like 6 4, 6 5, 300 pounds. And he's like, Hey, we're gonna go play basketball, right? [00:31:52] **Herbie Mack:** He was like as we called him around the way, like Baby Shaq and and he's like, oh, you know, you like my Kobe, right? And I'm like, okay, cool. You know, he's like, Hey, I'm [00:32:00] gonna come pick you up. We're gonna go play basketball. And I'm really like, I'm not in the, the greatest mindset right now to play basketball, let alone to be around people. [00:32:09] **Herbie Mack:** The world was moving way too fast. My negative thoughts was like racing. And for some reason, you know, I had a coloring book, and the coloring book was like the Justice League. And I was like, Hey, I'm gonna go color. And he's like, Hey, you know, you know, he's banging on my door. He's like, Hey, Herby, you ready? [00:32:25] **Herbie Mack:** And I'm like, no, I just, I just need the color. Like, and he's just like, yeah bro, can we go like, forget the coloring, like can we go play basketball? And I'm like, no, you don't understand. I need to do this. And he's going back and forth with me and I scream at him and I'm a pretty like, calm dude. Yeah. He's like, I just need to color right now. [00:32:47] **Herbie Mack:** And he's just like, all right, I'm just gonna have a seat. And I kid you not, the only thing I colored was the S on Superman's chest. That was it. I didn't color [00:33:00] anything else. It was just that, and that s you know, if, if you're a Superman fan, it's like hope, right? Yeah. And I needed something to hold onto. [00:33:08] **Herbie Mack:** And that s was hope. And you know, I thank my friend. He didn't really press me right away, like, Hey, no, like, what's going on? And we waited to, like, after basketball, and I told him, I was like, man, the world was moving too fast. And I needed something to provide hope, Superman. The s was the hope. And I needed to color, I'm not gonna lie you, I did not color very well. [00:33:31] **Herbie Mack:** I was barely in those lines, but it's just something that I needed to slow down. And he got it. And he was like, Hey, okay, this is bigger than just like sports. If you ever need to talk, let's talk. You know? And he's like, Hey, do you want to go get a beer? Do you wanna do that? And I was just like, no. I just, I just wanna go home and color. [00:33:52] **Herbie Mack:** And he's like, all right, cool. Drop me off. He stayed in the crib to like watch basketball while I was coloring. And he just wanted to, I guess like [00:34:00] now that I look at it, he just wanted to make sure that I was okay. And, and I say this story because sometimes we need someone, but then we also need something to help slow the world down. [00:34:11] **Herbie Mack:** And for me, coloring was slow the world down. I was in my, I was in my own head and I was becoming my own enemy as far as like the negative thoughts. But once I started coloring and saw the, the, the superman symbol, I was like, okay, I am Superman. I can't take this on. Right. Like, let me turn this negative into a positive. [00:34:29] **Herbie Mack:** And, and then having someone there like Batman to support me helped out. Yeah. Very well. [00:34:37] **Elaine Lindsay:** Well, kudos to your friend for being so empathetic and, and also picking up on how important that really was to you. Because sometimes people don't, they love us, but they don't pick up on our cues because we aren't [00:35:00] often very forthcoming. [00:35:03] **Elaine Lindsay:** We tend to sort of go sideways when we, when we really wanna say something of import. We're not often, you know, head on because there's so much going on inside. I have a, it's not, I don't think it's as useful as coloring or journaling, but in dating myself too, in the late eighties, I managed a dance studio and the young professional dancers would come in after school and they brought in their crap about their girlfriends and their boyfriends and the fight they had and the teacher that annoyed them, and yada, yada yada. [00:35:45] **Elaine Lindsay:** And it was just, You know, noise. And it's not just noise, okay? When you're in a space with a lot of people and there's a lot of negativity, you can actually, the air [00:36:00] is heavy, it's oppressive, like it's not good. So the first week I was there, I took a cardboard box, not very big. I colored it brightly, like put wrapping paper around it, and I wrote sea box, okay? [00:36:22] **Elaine Lindsay:** It's crap box. And when they come in after school that day, I said, okay, don't you all stand around me here, see this, this is the crap box. I'm putting it at the bottom of the stairs. And when you come in, I want you to dump everything, your boyfriends, your arguments, your teachers, your homework, your shitty grades, whatever. [00:36:45] **Elaine Lindsay:** Put 'em in the box. You can pick 'em up when you want, when you leave, or you can choose to just let them go. Doesn't matter to me. They don't come past that doorway. And all these years later, I [00:37:00] still know some of those wonderful dancers and they're incredible people. And the kids said, oh, you know, that's really cool. [00:37:08] **Elaine Lindsay:** I went home and I completely forgot that I had a fight with X, Y, Z, and, and it was just good. And it's it's something you can do in your home if you have a, a few children, because there's always, you know, a little bit of angst between siblings and what have you in classrooms, in, in dance studios, in wherever. [00:37:32] **Elaine Lindsay:** Having that external place to leave your troubles is better than dragging them around in your head. And I wouldn't have known how to voice that back then. It just kind of made sense to me. So if that's what you have to do with your social media, put it in a virtual box, put it in that crap box, and when you're [00:38:00] ready to go back to social, only take out the stuff that matters. [00:38:06] **Elaine Lindsay:** Not the bad stuff. Just leave that crap in there. [00:38:11] **Herbie Mack:** I love that. Like I really do. I do. I love that. Thank you. You know, you do need a safe space to, to release that, you know, those emotions, so negative emotions. You know, and, and for myself But I, I didn't have a box. I just had like one of those, I guess you would call like a, a, a dump journal. [00:38:31] **Herbie Mack:** Right. Like just dumping out my, my emotions. Yeah. And then sometimes when the, when it was too much baggage I would write as if I was a three year old, you know? And it just, like, once I was able to like, release those emotions and, and just rip it out out the journal and just tearing it up, I was just like, oh, man, not only did that negative thought went away, but the, the, the baggage of stress that I was carrying with it is gone. [00:38:57] **Herbie Mack:** And, and it's highly important for that. So [00:39:00] like, even now in today's place, like there's not enough safe spaces that I see where you can actually express yourself release that baggage and feel good about it. Right. I know, like, you know, we, we love the human connection. Right. And even for myself, I do like peer meetings and whatnot, and sometimes people come in with the With that heavy emotion, like a, like, no, they're carrying, carrying like a blue wilm on them, and then after, after our sessions, they seem so better. [00:39:29] **Herbie Mack:** And it's just like, you know, just allowing people to express themselves and that's all they want. You know, I have a very close relationship with one of my sisters and, you know, when I'm going through it and I have the emotions, I always text her, Hey, do you have space for me? Right? Because one, I don't know what she's dealing with on, on opposite side of, of, of her, of her on opposite side of the phone. [00:39:52] **Herbie Mack:** But two, I also want to make sure that I'm not bombarding her with my nonsense of what I'm going [00:40:00] through and not validating her feelings. So I always ask her like, Hey, do you have space for me? And she's like you know, no, not right now. Or vice versa is like, Hey, let's sit down and schedule a spot. When you can vent, but then not only when you could vent, you know, it's like, hey, well, do you want feedback or do you just want someone to listen? [00:40:19] **Herbie Mack:** And that not only helped our communication so much better, but it also, we know what to prepare for. Right? So some, like, probably like a month ago, she was like, Hey do you have space for me? No feedback. And she went on like a two hour rant and I was just like, okay, you know, I'm fine. And she's, she was like, what do you think? [00:40:40] **Herbie Mack:** And I was just like, but you just told me you don't want any feedback. I was like, if you want feedback, guess what? Let's schedule tomorrow. I don't, I just, I wanna validate your feelings and your emotions. Not, not only because I, I I see you, but I want you to understand that I do hear you. Yeah. [00:40:56] **Elaine Lindsay:** And I, and I think that's a really, sorry to interrupt you. [00:40:59] **Elaine Lindsay:** That's a really [00:41:00] important distinction because we're not always looking for people to ride in on their white horse and save us. We, we just wanna be heard. [00:41:11] **Herbie Mack:** Yes. Yeah. Yeah. The support, even for myself through my, my challenges and my struggles, I wanted someone to, yeah, as you said now I didn't, I didn't want someone to be the superhero. [00:41:22] **Herbie Mack:** I just wanted to like, Hey, let me just vent whatever emotions that has been carrying for, for years that now I'm acknowledging. And then if I do want feedback or, or anything like that, I'll ask for it. You know what I mean? Let, let me, let me, Hey, can, can I get feedback here? Can I get feedback there and now, like, you know, that, that helped our relationship. [00:41:44] **Herbie Mack:** But I do that with everyone, right? The clients that I do work with, Hey, this is a safe space. If you want to vet, let's vent. If you want feedback, please let me know. Right? And sometimes I, you know, even if like, Hey, I want some feedback, I'm like, okay, fine. I'll allow them to vent and then I'll [00:42:00] sit there and I'll just have them answer their own questions. [00:42:05] **Herbie Mack:** And they're like, oh, oh, but you didn't really gimme feedback. I'm like, I don't think you really came here for feedback. I think you just came here to try to figure out the answer. You know the answer, but you just want to hear it out loud. And just giving them that space and opportunity helps out so much. [00:42:19] **Elaine Lindsay:** Oh, absolutely. And, and I can have to say thank you again for all that you do. I appreciate it because it's critically important. Having people that can, can be there for others, I think is incredible. And it's, I have to acknowledge that it takes a lot of work for you to be able to do that for others while still protecting yourself. [00:42:53] **Elaine Lindsay:** Yeah. Because that's an important skill to learn, to be able to do what you do. [00:42:58] **Herbie Mack:** Thank you. Thank you. I've [00:43:00] learned They're importance of self-care boundaries. So, you know, Sundays is like my recharge day and if I, if I felt like I poured out too much on that that week, then obviously Saturday too, right? [00:43:12] **Herbie Mack:** And then allowing myself to say no. Right. No's a complete sentence. Hey, yes it is. Hey, her, her, Hey Herby, do you got space for me? No, I don't. You always have space for me. Can you make space? And it's like, no, I can't, because right now I'm barely aflo. I need to recharge myself before I take on whatever baggage that I have to take on. [00:43:30] **Herbie Mack:** You know, it's like, not to say like their baggage is negative or anything like that, but sometimes like I. It can be overwhelming, but then also I still have to juggle the husband and the father's side. So it's like, Hey, I got a lot on my plate as well. Give me a moment. Let me recharge and we can reevaluate this. [00:43:45] **Herbie Mack:** Or if that, if I notice they're in a crisis, then it's like, okay, obviously I'm gonna actually stop to, to, to assist. But for the most time, they're not really in a crisis, thank, thank goodness. But it's just like life is getting too much for [00:44:00] them and they don't know how to slow the world down, as I like to say. [00:44:03] **Herbie Mack:** And, you know, I'm like, Hey, what about the tools that we worked on? Have you tried this? Have we tried this? No, no. I just thought about calling you. And I'm just like, call me for option Z because I want you to, to feel like you have your power to change your world. And you do, you know, let's, you know. So I'm like, I'm here to navigate and coach you through it, but at the same time, I wanna make sure you believe in yourself and you have the confidence to do that, right. [00:44:28] **Herbie Mack:** And [00:44:28] **Elaine Lindsay:** those, those resources that you've given others, that toolbox is with you at all times. Yes. And you know, it's like anything else, we get better and we become more expert at what we do when we do it more often. [00:44:46] **Herbie Mack:** Yeah. Yes, yes. Practice, make progress. Absolutely. If we're, if we're not, if we're not doing any of the the practice, then how can we grow? [00:44:54] **Herbie Mack:** Right. It's like we're not making any progress. We're just, you know? Absolutely. I'm gonna use my resources [00:45:00] for this person, call that person for that. And sometimes it's like, Hey, you can do that, but you have to do the work too. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Like, I can plant the seed, but you have to take care of your garden baby like you have to. [00:45:13] **Elaine Lindsay:** Yeah. It's like, think, think of, you know when, when our kids learn to walk, if the first time your kid falls down, you pick him up and every time you pick him up, he's never gonna walk. Mm-hmm. Okay. He's just gonna wait for you to pick him up. Yeah. You know, that we, we get the resources that we need so that we can then implement them. [00:45:35] **Elaine Lindsay:** That's where men do. [00:45:37] **Herbie Mack:** Oh yeah. Yeah. And even for myself, like I always try to, you know, use my own toolbox and then I, when I realize like some of the tools that I'm using are, is not being effective, then I know it's like it's time to chart new tool. Right? So like if there's a couple of clients I was working with last week and you know, I was like, Hey, how's your self care routine? [00:45:57] **Herbie Mack:** And yada yada, oh yeah, I've been doing this and doing this and doing [00:46:00] that. And I realized like just from the outside perspective that they was getting comfortable, which is cool to a certain extent. So I was like, Hey, I want you guys to try something different. It's like four of them, and they're like, oh, different. [00:46:12] **Herbie Mack:** And one, I'm like, I want you to do one activity that you haven't done before. Right. And it doesn't necessarily have to be, you know, something extreme like jumping out of a plane or anything. But I was like, one activity that you haven't done before. And one guy was like, well, you know, I never went jet skiing and I want to do it. [00:46:27] **Herbie Mack:** It looks like it's fun. Okay, well try it out. Yeah. And, and then another one of the other clients was like, well, you know, I've never been fishing, but I really wanna try fishing. Okay. Try it out. Right. Because at some point, once you hit a certain level, and I like to say this, like, once you hit a certain level, there's always come a new devil. [00:46:44] **Herbie Mack:** And whatever toolbox that you used to use, whatever tools that you used to use in your toolbox may not be effective for this devil. So you have to try something different to, to really maneuver yourself into a better way. And, you know, Try it out. You know, even for myself, like [00:47:00] there's certain things that I do to try out to, okay, I like it. [00:47:02] **Herbie Mack:** I didn't like it. I actually do like it. Let me actually sit down and try to learn how to play the piano. Let me actually sit down and try to learn a new language. Right? And it's something that's like, oh, it's challenging me, it's adding value to me, but it's also slowing the world down for me. Cause I'm not focusing on whatever problems I have or whatever issues that that's coming across. [00:47:21] **Herbie Mack:** It's just like, oh, I'm actually trying to learn this language. You know? Yeah. I'm horrible at it, but guess what? Over time I'm gonna get better at it. You know, just because I'm, I, I'm, I'm doing the reps. And that's just one positive way that I try to grow as a person, but also try to get away from those negative experiences and thoughts because it's like, oh, this is a new challenge. [00:47:42] **Elaine Lindsay:** Yeah. I think that's, that's a really, really good point. And another, well, this is a, a resource. It's a tool, but it's more. It's more part of your mindset, and that's the 80 20 rule. [00:48:00] Okay? The 80 20 rule fits across everything, you know, personal business, what have you. But I think for handling your stress and managing what's going on your life, you wanna know that, you know, guess what? [00:48:17] **Elaine Lindsay:** 80% of the time I'm doing well, I'm, I'm getting through my day, I'm having more positive thoughts. Then celebrate that there's 20%. That's just not gonna work. You're gonna try tools that at that time don't work, or you're just going to be in a, a wallow. It's what I sometimes call it, and you know what, that's okay because you're only gonna allow that 20% and then you shake it off and you go back to doing the things you need and using the resources that you have. [00:48:52] **Elaine Lindsay:** So that you stay in a more positive, but don't beat yourself up for not [00:49:00] making a hundred percent. Yeah. Okay. Nobody makes a hundred percent. That's perfect. Doesn't exist. Cuz guess what? It'd be boring. It would be so boring. [00:49:11] **Herbie Mack:** A another analogy or, or how I view it is, you know, in the beginning when we are learning how to tie our, our shoe, we are horrible at it. [00:49:19] **Herbie Mack:** Yeah. But over time we get better at it. Right. And then there's moments when it's like, man, this is not the best knot, but whatever. I gotta keep it going and it's okay. So just like whatever skill sets that I'm trying to learn, I, I, I always compare it to tie my shoe, right? Like right now I'm currently trying to learn Spanish. [00:49:36] **Herbie Mack:** Am I good at it? No. Nowhere near it. Right. But I know, like over time I, I'll get better at it might not, may look, you know, lopsided one day and it might look perfect the next day. Right. And I even tested out with some of my friends in Spanish and they're just like, bro, keep practicing. You know? And I'm like, ok, it's cool. [00:49:56] **Herbie Mack:** It's cool. And then some of them are like, Hey, yo, that's, that's pretty good for a [00:50:00] beginner. That is really good for a beginning and that helps me. Okay, cool. I'm doing a decent job, you know, and, and now the school that my daughter goes to Spanish is like, she's learning that from pre-K all the way to high school. [00:50:14] **Herbie Mack:** Yeah. So it's like, oh, she's going to learn Spanish at some point. She's gonna be way fluent than I am. But you know, what, if I, if I can meet her where she's at and learn it, it's that level, you know, it's like, that's my accountability partner. You know what I mean? Yeah. And, and then Absolutely. And that helps me stay locked in and focus to just keep on practicing. [00:50:34] **Herbie Mack:** Keep on practicing. And then it, it's, and it's so funny now because like I can't really speak it very well. Yeah. But I can when I listen to like this artist called Bad Bunny, he's like probably the, one of the biggest artists in the world right now. And and his music, like, I was listening to it and I was like, wow, I actually understand the verse. [00:50:53] **Herbie Mack:** Yeah. But no problem. Now, when if you would ask Yeah, if you would've asked me like three months ago, [00:51:00] far from it, you know, like I got little words, but it like, it, it helped me. And not only that, like I told you, it slows the world down for me. I'm not too hard on myself. I'm actually like, okay, I'm flawed, but it's fine. [00:51:12] **Herbie Mack:** I'm learning and this is what life is all about. Learning and, and not comparing my, my Spanish to someone who have years of Spanish. She was like, no, I'm, look, I'm at this level and I'm okay with it. I'm growing. And it just, not only with Spanish, but just even with the healing journey. Yeah. Understanding that like, Hey, I'm at this level, but I am gonna grow. [00:51:32] **Herbie Mack:** Yes. It's weird speaking into the mirror, all these positive affirmations, cuz it's just you and your thoughts. It seems weird, but then after the time you get better at it. Like, oh yes, I am smart, I am love, I can change the world. Or you know, sitting down writing your feelings and emotions you might like, I don't know what to write or I'll start crying, but it's okay, you're growing because you're not gonna be that same person that you was yesterday. [00:51:55] **Elaine Lindsay:** Absolutely. Every day you have a chance to be a new [00:52:00] you, which I think is incredible. And all I can say is Ola. And then I think I, there's a couple more sentences which are totally irrelevant. [00:52:14] **Herbie Mack:** Yeah. It, it takes time. It really does. Yeah. It's like [00:52:20] **Herbie Mack:** like, you know, it's like, it, it takes time. Just practicing that and, and really getting that down. But you know, like, Six months ago, I couldn't really even say that. That fluid. Yeah. Yeah. No, [00:52:30] **Elaine Lindsay:** you did that [00:52:30] **Herbie Mack:** really well. So it's like, oh, okay, cool. You know, and it, and it helps, but it, it, it's something that I know it's a new challenge and for me that's like part of my coping skills. [00:52:39] **Herbie Mack:** It's just like really taking time to learn a new language or reading a book or listening to a book or a podcast, right? Just all I want is just 15, 20 minutes of, of no distractions and something that's gonna add value to my life or entertain me. [00:52:54] **Elaine Lindsay:** Yeah. Yeah. And entertainment can add, not just add value, but [00:53:00] it can be learning as well. [00:53:02] **Herbie Mack:** Yes, yes. You would catch me either watching the office Jerry Seinfeld Seinfeld, like probably one of my favorite shows, the Office as well. But then like, you know, even watching like an action movie, something like a comic superhero movie would also just like, oh, it's entertainment, right? Sometimes I don't want to think, I, I just want, I just want to just sit down and just. [00:53:23] **Herbie Mack:** And just go with the flow, because life can be overwhelming. Oh yeah. You know, but then also, not only that I realize like those moments where I don't think, like watching superhero movies Right. I built a lot of good friendships off of that. Yeah. You know, cuz it's like, oh, hey man, hey, you know, I'm not even thinking about the world. [00:53:41] **Herbie Mack:** We're talking about Marvel, we are talking about DC and all this other stuff. And it's just like, yo, this is fun, this is good. And then it's like, oh, okay. I am the weirdo. But if I'm such the weirdo, why do I have friends that also have the same thing? Right. Because I found people that, that get my love language. [00:53:59] **Herbie Mack:** [00:54:00] Yeah. It, it's huge. [00:54:02] **Elaine Lindsay:** I met Stan Lee. [00:54:05] **Herbie Mack:** I'm, I'm jealous. [00:54:07] **Elaine Lindsay:** In a hangout. I spent an hour with him. And you are? My son is super my son was trying to get him. In an interview. I was with a group of friends in a hangout and I just, I think the Marvel universe is, is absolutely brilliant because it does give hope. [00:54:29] **Elaine Lindsay:** Yes. And, and that's, you know, incredible. Now, a little off script, but Guardians of the Galaxy, we're going as soon as it opens. Yes, [00:54:41] **Herbie Mack:** yes. I, I'm asking my wife, Hey do you think, do you think your mama watch the kids? I'm like, I'm asking, but No, but it's, it's, it's something like that, right? Like, no, we was talking earlier in episode as far as. [00:54:55] **Herbie Mack:** You know, social media can be a negative thing, right? But it also can be a positive thing [00:55:00] because if you're that, that, that that kid or that, you know, teenager that's like, man, no one gets me, right? But then if you go into whatever platform you use, if you go like, look at whatever hashtag and you see someone that's talking about the Avengers or talking about gardens at Galaxy, right? [00:55:18] **Herbie Mack:** And they might be really passionate about group and you're like, I am group. And you're like, man, I love group too. That person love group. Let me follow them. And that follow might lead into a dm. And then next thing you know, you, you got your own fan club, right? You got people that get your love language. [00:55:32] **Herbie Mack:** So life doesn't seem too stressful, right? Like, oh man. Like, man, I, people are making fun of the way I dress or how I talk. Right. The fact that I'm always wearing superhero outfits or whatnot. But guess what? I found people that got me. Yeah. Right. They may not physically be here, but hey man, I can DM them or I can go into whatever, like Facebook group or, or whatever, chat and find them and just really be a sponge. [00:55:57] **Herbie Mack:** Or I can act, actually express myself the way that I [00:56:00] want to express myself [00:56:01] **Elaine Lindsay:** and be part of your community. [00:56:04] **Herbie Mack:** Yes. That part. [00:56:06] **Elaine Lindsay:** Yeah, that's, that is definitely the good part of social media is that you can find community and the other thing that sometimes can be hard for us to get, and it's hard to stay there, but if you are looking for good, you're gonna find it. [00:56:27] **Elaine Lindsay:** If you are hesitant, You're more likely to pull in negative. And if you're looking for negative, I guarantee you'll find it cuz there's a ton of it. But it is our intention. What you put out there is what you get back. Okay? If you walk into a bodega to buy something and you're smiling and you say, thanks very much, and the person behind the counter might have been a little surly with the person before you, but they're polite with you because [00:57:00] you just lifted their vibration and it makes you feel good, it makes them feel good. [00:57:07] **Elaine Lindsay:** Okay? I drive my husband crazy because I wanna say hi to everybody on the planet. Okay? Everybody I walk by, doesn't matter if you've got headphones on, I'll do this. If you know, it doesn't matter if you're on a bicycle or whatever. I, I wanna say hello. And it's amazing. People don't often immediately hear you. [00:57:31] **Elaine Lindsay:** Yeah. But then they'll turn around and go, oh, hi. You know, because we are so in our little bubbles, if ya let that bubble go a little and your intention is to pull, good to you. Now I'm getting really esoteric. I know. No, that's fine. But you can in fact affect what's around you and, and bring better things towards you. [00:57:58] **Elaine Lindsay:** And when you get in the [00:58:00] habit of doing it, then it makes those tough times a lot easier and a lot shorter. Yeah. [00:58:09] **Herbie Mack:** I, I definitely agree with that. People want to be around good energy. Yeah. Yeah. Always around good energy even. Even, even when you're not like thinking, like the other day I went, I went grocery shopping and I'm like, I'm so locked into like, let me hurry up, lemme grab my groceries and come back home. [00:58:29] **Herbie Mack:** And, you know, I'm a pretty much of a positive person and I don't know, at this time I just was like, horse with blinders. Just like, let me hurry up. Lemme grab this and hurry you back. Hurry up back home. Cuz you know, the misses need help with the, with the kiddos. And I had, it was someone that was like, Hey, you never know who's watching you. [00:58:51] **Herbie Mack:** It was someone that was like, Hey, I always see you all the time, like everything okay. And I was just go, yeah, I'm good. Like, hey, how, how are you? You know? And it was like, oh, you know, you don't seem like yourself. And I'm just like, [00:59:00] I'm just, I was just focused and whatever. Yeah. And I thought, man, I never realized like, who's watching me? [00:59:07] **Herbie Mack:** No, it was like the target that I always run to. And she's like, Hey, is everything okay? Like, are you doing fine? Like, you just don't seem like yourself. And I was just like, no, I'm fine. I'm just, you know, trying to hurry up and you know, help the wife out with the kids. And that person was like, oh, okay. [00:59:19] **Herbie Mack:** Like, you know, I just wanted to make sure just checking in because you know, when I see you, you, you know, bring so much joy to me. And I was just like, but you don't even know me. Right? But it's just like, like that type of thing. And it was just like one of those like, oh wow. Oh, well thank you. I didn't realize I was making an impact when, you know, when you see me shopping, you know, I'm like, oh no, you always say hi. [00:59:41] **Herbie Mack:** You always ask me how I'm doing. Yeah. You know, I just thought like something was bugging you and I just wanted to make sure you was okay. And I was like, oh, well thank you. [00:59:48] **Elaine Lindsay:** And, and see that's perfect. That's part of the law of reciprocity because you give out so much positive all the time when you come around, and [01:00:00] that's not the vibration you have. [01:00:03] **Elaine Lindsay:** The people that you've always been nice to, are going to wonder and, and that, that the reciprocity is in checking in to make sure you are okay because you're not presenting as you normally do. I just think is absolutely [01:00:22] **Herbie Mack:** wonderful. I I just had to share that. [01:00:25] **Elaine Lindsay:** Oh, that's fabulous. Absolutely fabulous. So, oh my God, I, you and I could talk forever. [01:00:32] **Herbie Mack:** It's just a conversation. [01:00:34] **Elaine Lindsay:** It's just a conversa. Yeah. Yeah. Well, by next year we will have a conversation face to face. I'm, I'm putting that one on my agenda. What would you like to leave our audience with today? [01:00:54] **Herbie Mack:** I would like to leave them with understanding that you're not by yourself. I. You [01:01:00] know, during the, during the struggles that I was having, I thought I was by myself until I allowed my pride to actually sit there and decide to use my resources in understanding that, that I do have resources. They may not have all the answers, but guess what? [01:01:16] **Herbie Mack:** They can actually help and guide me to the help that I do need. So, understanding that you're not by yourself, but understanding that that ask for help or resources or using your resources is such a great thing cuz you're not by yourself and you, you can find people that's gonna understand your energy, your vibe, your language. [01:01:36] **Herbie Mack:** So go out there and ask for help and receive it. Be okay with it. [01:01:41] **Elaine Lindsay:** Absolutely. And just think you're not asking for help. You're using your resources. Yes. That was so well put, Herby, once again, thank you so much for being my guest. I so appreciate having you here. Your wisdom, your joy, and your [01:02:00] energy is lovely. [01:02:02] **Elaine Lindsay:** Absolutely lovely. Thank you for listening. It's wonderful to have you with us as well. And as I always say, make the very best of your today every day, and I'll see you next time. Bye for now. Thank --------------------
So honoured to once again speak with Herbie. He's a fellow survivor with a huge mission. We talk about Social Media and You.. the Good the Bad and the Resources you can use to manage your digital life. Empowering Suicide Prevention Specialist and Keynote Speaker with Expertise in Suicide Ideation Education and Post-Attempt Guidance | Host of the Just Believe Show | Dedicated to Helping Those Struggling with Suicide. Daily Dose of Inspiration! Mental health is not a destination; it's a journey. A journey that requires patience, self-love, and support. Remember to care for your mental health daily, not just during Mental Health Month. #JustBelieve #MentalHealthMatters Suicide Prevention Specialist • Suicide Ideation Educator • Provide post-suicide attempt guidance • Keynote Speaker Host of @thejustbelieveshow. Socials And Site https://herbiemack.com/ https://www.facebook.com/imherbiemack/ https://www.instagram.com/hbmack https://www.tiktok.com/@herbiemack https://www.twitter.com/HBMACK https://www.youtube.com/@imherbiemack ------------------------------------------- Transcript # Herbie Mack Returns S4 E15 [00:00:00] [00:00:00] **Elaine Lindsay:** Hello. It's good to be back. Very happy to be here and excited to have a returning guest today I'm going to be here with Herby Mack, who was on the show back in 2022. And we have a lot to talk about. This is gonna be more of a conversation about what we see going on now. Herbie Mac is an amazing speaker. [00:00:28] **Elaine Lindsay:** He's all about suicide prevention and just one of the loveliest guys I've ever met. So, without further ado, here we go. Hi. Herbie. [00:00:42] **Herbie Mack:** How's everything? [00:00:43] **Elaine Lindsay:** It's good. It's good to see you. [00:00:46] **Herbie Mack:** Likewise, likewise. I'm, I'm honored to be a returning guest and also, I'm just ready for this conversation. I think that's how we can prevent suicide. [00:00:56] **Herbie Mack:** It's just my conversation. [00:00:58] **Elaine Lindsay:** That is such a [00:01:00] perfect start to this. Yes it is conversation. Talking is, to me the most important thing and I know for your generation and younger, we're starting to get that message out. For my generation, talking was not something you ever give. And I have a, a real deep-seated need to make sure that all of us, right down to the youngest person who might have a suicidal thought, I want you to know you need to reach out and talk to someone, anyone. [00:01:47] **Elaine Lindsay:** Don't keep it inside, because what people sometimes don't remember all the thoughts that run through your head. Number one, they're not real. Number two, they're not true. And number three, when you [00:02:00] tell someone you lessen that burden. [00:02:06] **Elaine Lindsay:** So that, that's my little often running. That's [00:02:10] **Herbie Mack:** your TED talk? [00:02:12] **Elaine Lindsay:** That's my mini TED talk. Yes, yes. Talk to somebody. Anybody [00:02:17] **Herbie Mack:** I do agree. You know, for myself, during the, the challenges that I had, the struggles and, and trying to decide if I wanna be here or not, I found it easier once I started talking to like, really backtrack that man, you know, do, do I wanna make that forever decision. [00:02:37] **Herbie Mack:** And it's like, no, I don't, I actually want to be here, but I want the pain to end. And, but I. When I sat down and started having conversations with people, right. The, support group that I like to say, they really helped me reframe my mindset of like, man, I understand that you're hurting, but it is okay to, to, to ask for help. [00:02:56] **Herbie Mack:** And now, like, you know, being a guy like, oh my [00:03:00] life, they've been saying, you know, asking for help is a sign of weakness. **So I started reframing my mindset into let me use my resources, and that changed everything. ** [00:03:12] **Elaine Lindsay:** Oh my God, that's brilliant. That is brilliant. [00:03:17] **Herbie Mack:** Yeah. You just being told, like, you know, asking for help. [00:03:21] **Herbie Mack:** Weakness, weakness, weakness. But then when you look at it and you say, let me ask, let me use my resources, it it, it's you realizing like, man, I have great assets and friends or maybe access to actually seek someone to, to. Provide the proper help that I need, whether it's a, you know, a counselor, a therapist, social worker, whomever works for you that can help you get out of that negative mindset. [00:03:46] **Herbie Mack:** And once I've said that, it was just like, oh, life is so much easier. Right? Because like, like if my car breaks down and I know I need a ride, I'm gonna call you. Not because I'm active for help, I'm just looking at my phone and I'm looking at the resources that I have that can give me a [00:04:00] ride to where I need to go. [00:04:01] **Herbie Mack:** Yes. [00:04:03] **Elaine Lindsay:** And I'm sorry you'll wait a little while for me to get there, but I'll be there. [00:04:07] **Herbie Mack:** You're worth the wait. [00:04:08] **Elaine Lindsay:** Okay. You're such a sweetheart. Oh. Giving aside, no, I think that's a really, really good point. Reframing gives us an opportunity. To turn things on their head. And we talk about that in business. [00:04:24] **Elaine Lindsay:** Yes, a lot reframing how you go about managing your business can inject a, a whole new outlook. So why not, you know, take that as a resource and use that in your personal toolbox. And that brings us to two things. I really believe that we need to start the conversations with elementary school children. [00:04:55] **Elaine Lindsay:** Suicidal ideation starts a lot younger than [00:05:00] people think. And y you said you decided y you knew you wanted to be here. People who know my story know that I lost a dear friend at 16 and her death was her showing me. That leaving was not the best option and what it would do to those that I would leave behind. [00:05:27] **Elaine Lindsay:** And I think because I'm so hardheaded, the universe decided that that was the way to show me. And, and it doesn't work for everybody. It's not necessary for everybody, thank God. But we need to be sure that from childhood you understand that not everything that goes through your head ha you have to act on, or, or is the truth or, or is in fact reality. [00:05:58] **Elaine Lindsay:** And you [00:06:00] can't fix what you don't understand or don't know. And, and in all honesty, I don't think school prepares us for any of the things that actually happen in life. [00:06:15] **Herbie Mack:** Yes. And I, I would say yes and no. Yeah. Like, is there, is there, is there a, a subject for it? Like in a school curriculum, probably not. [00:06:23] **Herbie Mack:** Right? But then when you come across certain teachers, certain teachers have a certain way on you. You know, for myself, I was having, in high school, I was really struggling. My sister died from cancer. And one of my friends who was like, Hey, you know, do you play basketball? Whatnot, was like, oh, yeah, yeah, I do. [00:06:41] **Herbie Mack:** And I was actually pretty good. And then he suggests, let's go on the basketball team. Let's try out, we make the team. And it was a coach that really helped me out, not only in that moment, but in life. He was always saying, Hey Herby, what's the weakest areas in your game? I'm just like, dude, I don't know. [00:06:57] **Herbie Mack:** You're the coach. Like, you're supposed to let me know. [00:07:00] And he's like he's like, all right, look, I'm gonna teach you the, these tools to know what areas to improve on. So this way when the season's over, you can work on it. Cool, right? Like just analyzing my game. So when I was going through my suicidal ideations and, and, and attempts when it's like time to pick me up, I decided to use that method, right? [00:07:20] **Herbie Mack:** But instead of using it in a basketball term of like, oh, like, let me look at the film. The film was me sitting down and actually journaling, right? So this way I was able to understand what areas in my life I have to improve on. You know, in my mind, you know, when, when you, you know, when you're in your twenties and your thirties, you think, I know it all right? [00:07:39] **Herbie Mack:** Like, my life is good. My life is amazing. But then when I sat down and took that moment to pause and analyze the game and, and my writing right, I realized my foundation was extremely weak. I didn't really have a great foundation, so what can I do? What can I work on? How to build a foundation, right? [00:07:55] **Herbie Mack:** Then it went from finances, right? Like realizing that I am [00:08:00] making a lot of irrational decisions, emotional decisions, instead of logical decisions on like, Hey, I'm going out to the club, I'm going out to the strip clubs, I'm going out to the bars. We're going here and there. But then the long term, I wasn't really putting an investment on myself, right? [00:08:14] **Herbie Mack:** So it was like stuff like that. And I always thank coach White for just taking the time to help me break down the game of basketball. But then I had to learn how to reframe my mind and use it in a, in a way of like, in a game of life, what areas do I need to prove on? What can I do? What, what was, and that despite like one of the biggest, like, thank you. [00:08:36] **Herbie Mack:** I can, I can, I can say about him. Yeah. And, and it was wasn't just the. The skills of basketball he taught also taught me about life. Hey man, you know, slow down. You're moving too fast. It's fast. You don't need to hang out with people. That's taking, taking a, well, not taking, but adding distractions in your life. [00:08:55] **Elaine Lindsay:** It's incredible. And I think all of us have those people in our lives. [00:09:00] Sometimes it takes a while for us to, to be able to remember what it was that someone did for you or, or you know, how useful the information you learned was. But I think everybody at some point gets someone in their life. And if you can be aware of these types of mentors and these types of people, then when we are open, To help when we're open to resources, let's say, let's not use the word help when we're open to resources and to, to interacting with others who may have other game plans that we can use. [00:09:48] **Elaine Lindsay:** The universe provides whether you call it God or the universe or a higher power, whatever you call it. Okay. They, it will be provided. It's [00:10:00] just a matter of being open, being curious. Right. I think that's really important and, and that, that's sort of let, let's segue into what I see as one of the biggest issues. [00:10:17] **Elaine Lindsay:** A a, an area I've, I've worked in for many, many years, but social media is both a blessing and a curse. And like everything that's happening right now online ai, all of the, the changes that we are going through, it is ramping up to the speed of light. And none of us had the time or the foresight to listen to those who were saying, caution, caution here. [00:10:56] **Elaine Lindsay:** And here we are. You and I are here [00:11:00] because suicide in the world now is the second leading cause of death. More than 800,000 people died from suicide every year. Like that's, that's a staggering number. And the most, I think, terrifying. Part of that. Is, there are many, many times social media's involved. [00:11:31] **Elaine Lindsay:** Yeah, [00:11:32] **Herbie Mack:** yeah, yeah. I, you know, it, it's, I love social media and I hate it at the same time, you know, you can be, be someone with you know, amazing smile and you can post a picture like, oh, what a wonderful day. And then you'll have someone that you may, you you may know or you may not know, that will reply in your picture and be like, oh, you're ugly, or whatever, you're fat, or whatever. [00:11:56] **Herbie Mack:** And it's, and that can just be a [00:12:00] spark for someone who's already having insecurities that's just like, man, you know what? I'm always getting picked on. Nobody loves me. And you learn not to love yourself. And then you go into that negative place of making that forever decision and. I feel like when it comes to social media, yes we do dictate what we watch, what we control, who's in our who's on our feed no matter what platform you choose. [00:12:22] **Herbie Mack:** And for myself, I had to do something. When I was in that negative mindset, I just got off of social media cause I wasn't that strong enough. And then when I got back on social media, I started unfollowing some of my friends that wasn't align, aligning to what I wanted. Right. I wanted to be someone who woke up and had positive thoughts, all this stuff. [00:12:44] **Herbie Mack:** So I started following people that was inspiring me to do that. And I started unfollowing people who was just like poaching, posting pictures of like, them just sitting on the couch, right? Like, it's not really adding the value that I needed or, or they started posting things [00:13:00] that wasn't aligned with me as far as like negative Negative, negative fights. [00:13:04] **Herbie Mack:** Like, you know, it's just like, oh, you know, like all this negative stuff. And it's just like, I didn't need that. And it takes, I wanna say bravery to one, acknowledge like, Hey, I'm not in that mindset to, to receive all this negative stuff. I don't want this negative stuff. Let me unfollow certain people. Like I unfollow some of my family members, right? [00:13:25] **Herbie Mack:** Not because I don't love them, but what they was shown on their feet, I didn't wanna see anymore. Yeah. And then I, same thing with friends. And for that, you know, when it comes to social media, you want to make sure that you're, you're following people. That's going to inspire you or gonna add value, whether it's entertainment of like, you know, something that's gonna make you laugh, that's not gonna bring you down. [00:13:46] **Herbie Mack:** Yeah. And I think, I think it should be something that's talked about now. It's like we control our social media that is like our cable to say the least, right? Yeah. So it's like, hey, let me, let me follow this. Whether it's a sports team, whether it's a [00:14:00] motivational speaker, whether it is your favorite podcast about, about phishes, right? [00:14:05] **Herbie Mack:** Like, it's like, let me follow something that makes me happy, that add value and the stuff that doesn't, I'm just gonna block out. I don't wanna see this, I don't want that. And then that just only thing, only thing that's gonna come from that is obviously you being a better person, but you're gonna get the right people in your circle. [00:14:21] **Herbie Mack:** Yeah. That's gonna vibe with you. That's gonna not bring you down, but lift you up. [00:14:26] **Elaine Lindsay:** Absolutely. And in talking to younger people, I know how exciting it is to, to get likes and to have comments and, you know, and, and to try and keep up with those, sorry. But the Kardashians and what have you. And I'm not knocking the Kardashians. [00:14:50] **Elaine Lindsay:** Okay. I have to say for, for all the stuff that's out there, these are good, smart business women Okay. Who put a [00:15:00] lot of effort into what they do and, and kudos to you. And, and I have to say, I actually like Kylie's lipsticks, so there you go. Even at my age, but all of those people, okay. They didn't start with a billion followers. [00:15:18] **Elaine Lindsay:** They didn't start yesterday. So all of the young people that are looking at the college Jenners and, and What's Kelsey Ballerini and, and all of these people, yes, it looks wonderful, but they didn't get there in five minutes. You have to take time. There's no rush to living your life. Try and be where you are. [00:15:43] **Elaine Lindsay:** And for, for me, I see the problem with the young people is one bad comic can be the end of somebody. Like, it's happened. This, this is not, you know, this is not a fairy [00:16:00] story. This is the truth. And, and the fact is, I, I have a, a different take now than I would have early on in social media, even young people. [00:16:13] **Elaine Lindsay:** I want you to look at the people that troll others, the people that say hurtful things that don't even know you. Imagine, okay. That you can see into their life. I guarantee you, you're going to see pain and hurt and trauma and old stuff that they're carting along with them because people who hurt are the ones who hurt other people. [00:16:43] **Elaine Lindsay:** And, and that's true all the time. It doesn't matter what they're hurting with. I posted a little video on the Instagram it was one of the school shootings. I, [00:17:00] I just breaks my heart. And this year specifically, it's been happening so much. There were more than 150 shootings and there weren't 150 days in the year at that point. [00:17:14] **Elaine Lindsay:** And I, I just had enough. It was late at night. I'm tired of crying over other people's children. And I just got on and said like, I'm sorry, America, what is wrong? What is wrong with you? That you value guns more than children? Yeah. How? How can that be? And I had a couple of really vicious trolls that were calling me all kinds of things. [00:17:38] **Elaine Lindsay:** And it was like, okay, I feel very sad for you. Thank you for sharing. And that's that because I can't do anything about your opinion if you are not open to learning something new. And therefore, me trying to interact with you [00:18:00] or change your opinion at this point is futile for me. So if I just say, thank you for sharing, and this came from Marissa Pier, a hypnotist. [00:18:13] **Elaine Lindsay:** That sort of diffuses things because there's no comeback for them. No, it's not okay. And any comeback is if, if you are somewhere where you have to engage, you just keep repeating. Thank you for sharing, because you don't wanna be rude, you don't wanna engage and ramp it up because the only person who's gonna get hurt is you. [00:18:41] **Elaine Lindsay:** And in social media, my suggestion for young people, the minute someone trolls you and it's someone you don't know, block them. I don't care what platform you're on, I don't care that your friends follow them. Don't care about [00:19:00] any of that. Somebody attacks you. Think of that as your little space. Okay? [00:19:05] **Elaine Lindsay:** That's your little place. Somebody comes into your home and attacks you, you block them, they're gone. Okay. And, and there's no three strikes here, okay? We are talking about your mental health, your wellbeing, and, and keeping you going. So no three strikes, one strike block. 'em, you do not, as Herbe said, you don't need that in your life. [00:19:33] **Elaine Lindsay:** No, you don't. It's just not worth it. [00:19:36] **Herbie Mack:** Yeah, no, I wanted to add to that as well. You know, if, you know, it doesn't even matter if you don't know them, if you know, like it's not worth your energy. As far as as like the negative stuff, the negative comments, even for myself, like, you know, as much positive stuff I try to send out to the world, I do get negative comments or negative dms. [00:19:54] **Herbie Mack:** And even with that, you know, I acknowledge it. Okay. All right. That's how you feel. I didn't [00:20:00] resonate with you. Okay, cool. And. I don't even, I don't even take it home with me. You know, as far as like that. It's like, oh, okay, cool. Like that's, everyone is entitled to how they feel, what, you know. But for myself, I know, like I'm trying to add good, I'm trying to be the, the, the shine my light, right? [00:20:20] **Herbie Mack:** Like I'm trying to shine people light on who, who are struggling. Oh, just might just need a, a little pick me up. And sometimes it's, it's me, right? Like I'll create a pulse and I see it like two days later, like, oh, you know what? That actually resonated. And for the negative feedback that I do get back, it's just like, okay, cool. [00:20:36] **Herbie Mack:** Thank you. As you said, thank you. Appreciate it. And just keep it pushing it. And if they do want to keep going, then yeah, obviously you just hit the block button. You know, I, I'm all about creating space for people who need space, but also you have to put on your own, your own oxygen mask, right? This is not helping me, so I can't assist you. [00:20:54] **Herbie Mack:** Yeah. You know, you know, so it's like leave me alone. But, but needless to say, when it comes to to social [00:21:00] media, I do give myself a limit, right? Because it can be unhealthy. Yeah, it can be addictive as far as like, oh, look how many likes I got, look how many people view my reels. But then it's like, am I really doing it for, you know, the benefit of helping out people or am I doing it for the likes? [00:21:16] **Herbie Mack:** And it, when you start thinking about that or questioning that, that's when you might have to take a moment to just get off of social media. So, you know, one day, one day a week, my one day is like Sundays. I really don't try to engage on social media. I might have some stuff scheduled to post, but as far as like me like spending hours on it, nah, it, it's, I need to still be, you know, dealing with the kids, dealing with the wife, or just taking a walk and just really being present in in life. [00:21:45] **Elaine Lindsay:** Absolutely. And yeah, Sunday around here the dog and I go see my dad and. You know, we, we do family things and what have you, and the only reason I even have a phone beside me is because my father's 90 years [00:22:00] old and he needs to be able to get in contact with me. I very often leave the phone in the kitchen because it's just, it's become so, it's not even secondary anymore. [00:22:15] **Elaine Lindsay:** It's so far down the list of priorities that yes, as a business we, we do schedule things that will go out and that's, that is, you know, it's part of business. You have to, but for, for me, responding and what have you, I found that weekends should be for family and if you can take one or two days to just sort of distance yourself from it all. [00:22:42] **Elaine Lindsay:** Now, I understand if you are a teenager or you are in your twenties, You are thinking, I have two heads and I'm a nut. There's no way you're gonna spend that much time away from your friends. And it's okay. I [00:23:00] totally get it. But you wanna be sure. Okay, Herbie said, are you doing it to add value or are you doing it? [00:23:09] **Elaine Lindsay:** And I'm gonna say for the dopamine, yeah, that hit of dopamine inside is such a boost. That's what those likes do for you. It puts little firecrackers off in your head that that give you that wonderful feeling. And we all love dopamine. We love that, that euphoria that you get. And that's good. But it's like anything else. [00:23:35] **Elaine Lindsay:** Think about eating three ice cream cones instead of one, and then you get sick. Okay, really that third one was not worth it. Cut back a little. Give yourself as her rec. Give yourself time. Yes. Set yourself a limit and stick to that limit. And please God for if you do nothing [00:24:00] else, I want you, before you hit the floor with your feet in the morning, take a couple of breaths. [00:24:09] **Elaine Lindsay:** Be grateful that you're breathing. Think about your day and get the hell out of the bed before you touch that phone or tablet or whatever else it is that you've got stuck beside your head. Okay? Because all that external stuff, as much as it's fun and important in your life, it's not the end all be all. [00:24:34] **Elaine Lindsay:** And when you start each day with gratitude, you are more likely to finish that day the same way. [00:24:41] **Herbie Mack:** Yes. I, I wouldn't say so. That's a funny story. Not a really funny story, but so it was like me, me and my brother, a couple of my friends, we went out to like, go out to eat and one of my friends was like, all right, look dude. [00:24:56] **Herbie Mack:** We're all on our phone, we're out here, we're, you know, we all came to see each other [00:25:00] like, what's going on? And so we had a friendly bet, everybody put down this, their cell phone, and it was four of us. And it was like everybody putting down their cell phone, the first person picks up their cell phone, has to pay the whole entire task. [00:25:11] **Herbie Mack:** All right, now you think it's like four guys, so you know it's gonna be way more than like 20 bucks. And so with that, it was just like, oh, okay, this is like challenging. But then it, it, the, I'm gonna show my age. It took us back before like the cell phone times where everybody just was engaging and having conversations and really actually catching up and not just like, oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah. [00:25:36] **Herbie Mack:** Oh, hey, did you see this? Oh, guess what? Like, you know, like, this is what's going on in the, in the world of sports, or this is what's going on in pop culture. And it was just like, no. Like, we actually was like, Hey, what's going on in your life? How's everything improving? Did you actually get that bonus that you was looking for? [00:25:49] **Herbie Mack:** Did you get that raise right? Or, Hey, how's school going? And we did that. And obviously dinner was probably like an hour, hour and a half or so. And for that hour and a [00:26:00] half, like you hear the phone's buzzing and no one picked up the phone. Well, one, nobody wanted to pick up that tab, but it was like, man, we took it back to back in the days before cell phones. [00:26:11] **Herbie Mack:** Right? Like I like to say BC times before cell phones. Oh, I like that. And, and we was just actually just engaging into conversations and not only engages in, into conversations, but like really engaging with it and within us, right? Like, man, I'm making an investment into you cuz you know what, this is the most important thing that I'm never gonna get this time with you. [00:26:31] **Herbie Mack:** I can always replay a reel or replay a YouTube video, whatever, but I can't re, I can't. Repurpose this, right? This event of like, yes, man, here we are. We're actually doing well. One is in college, one is actually like in their field, the other one is still trying to figure out how can we support. So I was like, seeing that was, was something that I enjoy. [00:26:53] **Herbie Mack:** And then like every time, every now and then when we do go out, we always like, Hey, no cell phones. He's like, oh, you gonna pick up the [00:27:00] tab? All right. No cell phones, you know, unless it's like, you know, the wife or something like that. Yeah, yeah. Then like, okay, cool, we get it. But like, other than that, it's like, dude, we don't wanna see No, no Facebook, no Instagram, no TikTok, no YouTube. [00:27:12] **Herbie Mack:** We just want to like, Hey, let's spend time and and catch up. Yeah. [00:27:16] **Elaine Lindsay:** No, and I think that's important. And I think even, even if you are 11, 12, 13, you need to make a plan with your friends to do that maybe once a week. Okay. Spend an hour with your friends. Face to face and talk to them. Just talk to them. [00:27:37] **Elaine Lindsay:** Because talking seems to be a, a lot less of what younger people do. I see it all the time. You go into a restaurant and there are kids sitting at the table and they all have phones, but if you go really close, they're talking to the other people at the table, just [00:27:55] **Herbie Mack:** texted each other. It's like, [00:27:57] **Elaine Lindsay:** what? Yeah. [00:27:57] **Elaine Lindsay:** That is crazy. Yeah. [00:28:00] And the first time I saw that I, I literally stopped and the young lady across the table laughed and looked up and smiled across the table and I thought, oh, please tell me they're not actually texting each other. And I went up to the table. First of all, they thought it was just some nutty old lady, whoa, what do you want, woman? [00:28:23] **Elaine Lindsay:** And I said, you know, I don't mean to be rude, but are you texting each other? And they looked at me like I had three heads and were. Yeah, but they're in front of you. Like, could you not say that? And, and they, they took a beat and looked at me like, oh yeah, I guess they, they didn't stop. They went back to their texting that we saw them later, but maybe I put a little bug in their head that the next time they'll look up and actually say something to the person at the table. [00:28:59] **Elaine Lindsay:** [00:29:00] We, we have become, you know, I've said before as such a society of immediacy and, and fomo. Like, God forbid we don't know something happened this second. That's no way to live. If you are, you're constantly pushing your body. It's not just about dopamine. When you make yourself so stressed that you're waiting for to be sure you know what happens, you are, you know, flooding yourself with cortisol and other. [00:29:32] **Elaine Lindsay:** Hormones and things that are not helpful to you, and being in that hyper state, that was, that was good when you were a caveman and you were running away from sabertooth tigers. But we don't have those kinds of immediate danger every second in our lives anymore. Yet that's how we are living internally, and that's causing all kinds of problems [00:30:00] for young people and old people alike because it, it is not, the body is not meant to produce that amount of cortisol or, or those amounts of adrenaline or, or the, the fear motivators that flight, fight, or flight response, it should not be 24 7. [00:30:22] **Elaine Lindsay:** Yeah. [00:30:23] **Herbie Mack:** No, I agree. No, I agree with that. I just wanted to, to add value to what you said as far as like that, you know, sometimes not only with social media, the world seem like it's moving too fast and, and to take that moment to slow it down, whether you start writing, whether you start journaling, coloring, whatever. [00:30:46] **Herbie Mack:** Just taking a moment to just not be in the phone, not really engage, to just be with your thoughts. And for some people it can be, man, that's, that's a lot to take on my own thoughts. But releasing those thoughts, [00:31:00] whether they're negative or positive, helps, right? You, you're keeping all that inside, you're keeping all that bottle up where to a point where it's like, man, it's unhealthy. [00:31:09] **Herbie Mack:** And like, oh, well I just share it with my friends. I'll text and whatever sometimes, and I'm just speaking for myself. Sometimes you may not want that feedback. Right. You just want to be, have a, a, a safe space to vent and not everybody is strong enough to, to take on whatever burden that you have to carry. [00:31:28] **Herbie Mack:** Yeah. And that's why I find it so easier, beneficial to release those emotions, whether it's in a book or, or coloring. Yeah. Right. Excuse me. So one of the times I was really struggling and I was on, on the way of picking myself up. One of my buddies, my buddies probably like 6 4, 6 5, 300 pounds. And he's like, Hey, we're gonna go play basketball, right? [00:31:52] **Herbie Mack:** He was like as we called him around the way, like Baby Shaq and and he's like, oh, you know, you like my Kobe, right? And I'm like, okay, cool. You know, he's like, Hey, I'm [00:32:00] gonna come pick you up. We're gonna go play basketball. And I'm really like, I'm not in the, the greatest mindset right now to play basketball, let alone to be around people. [00:32:09] **Herbie Mack:** The world was moving way too fast. My negative thoughts was like racing. And for some reason, you know, I had a coloring book, and the coloring book was like the Justice League. And I was like, Hey, I'm gonna go color. And he's like, Hey, you know, you know, he's banging on my door. He's like, Hey, Herby, you ready? [00:32:25] **Herbie Mack:** And I'm like, no, I just, I just need the color. Like, and he's just like, yeah bro, can we go like, forget the coloring, like can we go play basketball? And I'm like, no, you don't understand. I need to do this. And he's going back and forth with me and I scream at him and I'm a pretty like, calm dude. Yeah. He's like, I just need to color right now. [00:32:47] **Herbie Mack:** And he's just like, all right, I'm just gonna have a seat. And I kid you not, the only thing I colored was the S on Superman's chest. That was it. I didn't color [00:33:00] anything else. It was just that, and that s you know, if, if you're a Superman fan, it's like hope, right? Yeah. And I needed something to hold onto. [00:33:08] **Herbie Mack:** And that s was hope. And you know, I thank my friend. He didn't really press me right away, like, Hey, no, like, what's going on? And we waited to, like, after basketball, and I told him, I was like, man, the world was moving too fast. And I needed something to provide hope, Superman. The s was the hope. And I needed to color, I'm not gonna lie you, I did not color very well. [00:33:31] **Herbie Mack:** I was barely in those lines, but it's just something that I needed to slow down. And he got it. And he was like, Hey, okay, this is bigger than just like sports. If you ever need to talk, let's talk. You know? And he's like, Hey, do you want to go get a beer? Do you wanna do that? And I was just like, no. I just, I just wanna go home and color. [00:33:52] **Herbie Mack:** And he's like, all right, cool. Drop me off. He stayed in the crib to like watch basketball while I was coloring. And he just wanted to, I guess like [00:34:00] now that I look at it, he just wanted to make sure that I was okay. And, and I say this story because sometimes we need someone, but then we also need something to help slow the world down. [00:34:11] **Herbie Mack:** And for me, coloring was slow the world down. I was in my, I was in my own head and I was becoming my own enemy as far as like the negative thoughts. But once I started coloring and saw the, the, the superman symbol, I was like, okay, I am Superman. I can't take this on. Right. Like, let me turn this negative into a positive. [00:34:29] **Herbie Mack:** And, and then having someone there like Batman to support me helped out. Yeah. Very well. [00:34:37] **Elaine Lindsay:** Well, kudos to your friend for being so empathetic and, and also picking up on how important that really was to you. Because sometimes people don't, they love us, but they don't pick up on our cues because we aren't [00:35:00] often very forthcoming. [00:35:03] **Elaine Lindsay:** We tend to sort of go sideways when we, when we really wanna say something of import. We're not often, you know, head on because there's so much going on inside. I have a, it's not, I don't think it's as useful as coloring or journaling, but in dating myself too, in the late eighties, I managed a dance studio and the young professional dancers would come in after school and they brought in their crap about their girlfriends and their boyfriends and the fight they had and the teacher that annoyed them, and yada, yada yada. [00:35:45] **Elaine Lindsay:** And it was just, You know, noise. And it's not just noise, okay? When you're in a space with a lot of people and there's a lot of negativity, you can actually, the air [00:36:00] is heavy, it's oppressive, like it's not good. So the first week I was there, I took a cardboard box, not very big. I colored it brightly, like put wrapping paper around it, and I wrote sea box, okay? [00:36:22] **Elaine Lindsay:** It's crap box. And when they come in after school that day, I said, okay, don't you all stand around me here, see this, this is the crap box. I'm putting it at the bottom of the stairs. And when you come in, I want you to dump everything, your boyfriends, your arguments, your teachers, your homework, your shitty grades, whatever. [00:36:45] **Elaine Lindsay:** Put 'em in the box. You can pick 'em up when you want, when you leave, or you can choose to just let them go. Doesn't matter to me. They don't come past that doorway. And all these years later, I [00:37:00] still know some of those wonderful dancers and they're incredible people. And the kids said, oh, you know, that's really cool. [00:37:08] **Elaine Lindsay:** I went home and I completely forgot that I had a fight with X, Y, Z, and, and it was just good. And it's it's something you can do in your home if you have a, a few children, because there's always, you know, a little bit of angst between siblings and what have you in classrooms, in, in dance studios, in wherever. [00:37:32] **Elaine Lindsay:** Having that external place to leave your troubles is better than dragging them around in your head. And I wouldn't have known how to voice that back then. It just kind of made sense to me. So if that's what you have to do with your social media, put it in a virtual box, put it in that crap box, and when you're [00:38:00] ready to go back to social, only take out the stuff that matters. [00:38:06] **Elaine Lindsay:** Not the bad stuff. Just leave that crap in there. [00:38:11] **Herbie Mack:** I love that. Like I really do. I do. I love that. Thank you. You know, you do need a safe space to, to release that, you know, those emotions, so negative emotions. You know, and, and for myself But I, I didn't have a box. I just had like one of those, I guess you would call like a, a, a dump journal. [00:38:31] **Herbie Mack:** Right. Like just dumping out my, my emotions. Yeah. And then sometimes when the, when it was too much baggage I would write as if I was a three year old, you know? And it just, like, once I was able to like, release those emotions and, and just rip it out out the journal and just tearing it up, I was just like, oh, man, not only did that negative thought went away, but the, the, the baggage of stress that I was carrying with it is gone. [00:38:57] **Herbie Mack:** And, and it's highly important for that. So [00:39:00] like, even now in today's place, like there's not enough safe spaces that I see where you can actually express yourself release that baggage and feel good about it. Right. I know, like, you know, we, we love the human connection. Right. And even for myself, I do like peer meetings and whatnot, and sometimes people come in with the With that heavy emotion, like a, like, no, they're carrying, carrying like a blue wilm on them, and then after, after our sessions, they seem so better. [00:39:29] **Herbie Mack:** And it's just like, you know, just allowing people to express themselves and that's all they want. You know, I have a very close relationship with one of my sisters and, you know, when I'm going through it and I have the emotions, I always text her, Hey, do you have space for me? Right? Because one, I don't know what she's dealing with on, on opposite side of, of, of her, of her on opposite side of the phone. [00:39:52] **Herbie Mack:** But two, I also want to make sure that I'm not bombarding her with my nonsense of what I'm going [00:40:00] through and not validating her feelings. So I always ask her like, Hey, do you have space for me? And she's like you know, no, not right now. Or vice versa is like, Hey, let's sit down and schedule a spot. When you can vent, but then not only when you could vent, you know, it's like, hey, well, do you want feedback or do you just want someone to listen? [00:40:19] **Herbie Mack:** And that not only helped our communication so much better, but it also, we know what to prepare for. Right? So some, like, probably like a month ago, she was like, Hey do you have space for me? No feedback. And she went on like a two hour rant and I was just like, okay, you know, I'm fine. And she's, she was like, what do you think? [00:40:40] **Herbie Mack:** And I was just like, but you just told me you don't want any feedback. I was like, if you want feedback, guess what? Let's schedule tomorrow. I don't, I just, I wanna validate your feelings and your emotions. Not, not only because I, I I see you, but I want you to understand that I do hear you. Yeah. [00:40:56] **Elaine Lindsay:** And I, and I think that's a really, sorry to interrupt you. [00:40:59] **Elaine Lindsay:** That's a really [00:41:00] important distinction because we're not always looking for people to ride in on their white horse and save us. We, we just wanna be heard. [00:41:11] **Herbie Mack:** Yes. Yeah. Yeah. The support, even for myself through my, my challenges and my struggles, I wanted someone to, yeah, as you said now I didn't, I didn't want someone to be the superhero. [00:41:22] **Herbie Mack:** I just wanted to like, Hey, let me just vent whatever emotions that has been carrying for, for years that now I'm acknowledging. And then if I do want feedback or, or anything like that, I'll ask for it. You know what I mean? Let, let me, let me, Hey, can, can I get feedback here? Can I get feedback there and now, like, you know, that, that helped our relationship. [00:41:44] **Herbie Mack:** But I do that with everyone, right? The clients that I do work with, Hey, this is a safe space. If you want to vet, let's vent. If you want feedback, please let me know. Right? And sometimes I, you know, even if like, Hey, I want some feedback, I'm like, okay, fine. I'll allow them to vent and then I'll [00:42:00] sit there and I'll just have them answer their own questions. [00:42:05] **Herbie Mack:** And they're like, oh, oh, but you didn't really gimme feedback. I'm like, I don't think you really came here for feedback. I think you just came here to try to figure out the answer. You know the answer, but you just want to hear it out loud. And just giving them that space and opportunity helps out so much. [00:42:19] **Elaine Lindsay:** Oh, absolutely. And, and I can have to say thank you again for all that you do. I appreciate it because it's critically important. Having people that can, can be there for others, I think is incredible. And it's, I have to acknowledge that it takes a lot of work for you to be able to do that for others while still protecting yourself. [00:42:53] **Elaine Lindsay:** Yeah. Because that's an important skill to learn, to be able to do what you do. [00:42:58] **Herbie Mack:** Thank you. Thank you. I've [00:43:00] learned They're importance of self-care boundaries. So, you know, Sundays is like my recharge day and if I, if I felt like I poured out too much on that that week, then obviously Saturday too, right? [00:43:12] **Herbie Mack:** And then allowing myself to say no. Right. No's a complete sentence. Hey, yes it is. Hey, her, her, Hey Herby, do you got space for me? No, I don't. You always have space for me. Can you make space? And it's like, no, I can't, because right now I'm barely aflo. I need to recharge myself before I take on whatever baggage that I have to take on. [00:43:30] **Herbie Mack:** You know, it's like, not to say like their baggage is negative or anything like that, but sometimes like I. It can be overwhelming, but then also I still have to juggle the husband and the father's side. So it's like, Hey, I got a lot on my plate as well. Give me a moment. Let me recharge and we can reevaluate this. [00:43:45] **Herbie Mack:** Or if that, if I notice they're in a crisis, then it's like, okay, obviously I'm gonna actually stop to, to, to assist. But for the most time, they're not really in a crisis, thank, thank goodness. But it's just like life is getting too much for [00:44:00] them and they don't know how to slow the world down, as I like to say. [00:44:03] **Herbie Mack:** And, you know, I'm like, Hey, what about the tools that we worked on? Have you tried this? Have we tried this? No, no. I just thought about calling you. And I'm just like, call me for option Z because I want you to, to feel like you have your power to change your world. And you do, you know, let's, you know. So I'm like, I'm here to navigate and coach you through it, but at the same time, I wanna make sure you believe in yourself and you have the confidence to do that, right. [00:44:28] **Herbie Mack:** And [00:44:28] **Elaine Lindsay:** those, those resources that you've given others, that toolbox is with you at all times. Yes. And you know, it's like anything else, we get better and we become more expert at what we do when we do it more often. [00:44:46] **Herbie Mack:** Yeah. Yes, yes. Practice, make progress. Absolutely. If we're, if we're not, if we're not doing any of the the practice, then how can we grow? [00:44:54] **Herbie Mack:** Right. It's like we're not making any progress. We're just, you know? Absolutely. I'm gonna use my resources [00:45:00] for this person, call that person for that. And sometimes it's like, Hey, you can do that, but you have to do the work too. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Like, I can plant the seed, but you have to take care of your garden baby like you have to. [00:45:13] **Elaine Lindsay:** Yeah. It's like, think, think of, you know when, when our kids learn to walk, if the first time your kid falls down, you pick him up and every time you pick him up, he's never gonna walk. Mm-hmm. Okay. He's just gonna wait for you to pick him up. Yeah. You know, that we, we get the resources that we need so that we can then implement them. [00:45:35] **Elaine Lindsay:** That's where men do. [00:45:37] **Herbie Mack:** Oh yeah. Yeah. And even for myself, like I always try to, you know, use my own toolbox and then I, when I realize like some of the tools that I'm using are, is not being effective, then I know it's like it's time to chart new tool. Right? So like if there's a couple of clients I was working with last week and you know, I was like, Hey, how's your self care routine? [00:45:57] **Herbie Mack:** And yada yada, oh yeah, I've been doing this and doing this and doing [00:46:00] that. And I realized like just from the outside perspective that they was getting comfortable, which is cool to a certain extent. So I was like, Hey, I want you guys to try something different. It's like four of them, and they're like, oh, different. [00:46:12] **Herbie Mack:** And one, I'm like, I want you to do one activity that you haven't done before. Right. And it doesn't necessarily have to be, you know, something extreme like jumping out of a plane or anything. But I was like, one activity that you haven't done before. And one guy was like, well, you know, I never went jet skiing and I want to do it. [00:46:27] **Herbie Mack:** It looks like it's fun. Okay, well try it out. Yeah. And, and then another one of the other clients was like, well, you know, I've never been fishing, but I really wanna try fishing. Okay. Try it out. Right. Because at some point, once you hit a certain level, and I like to say this, like, once you hit a certain level, there's always come a new devil. [00:46:44] **Herbie Mack:** And whatever toolbox that you used to use, whatever tools that you used to use in your toolbox may not be effective for this devil. So you have to try something different to, to really maneuver yourself into a better way. And, you know, Try it out. You know, even for myself, like [00:47:00] there's certain things that I do to try out to, okay, I like it. [00:47:02] **Herbie Mack:** I didn't like it. I actually do like it. Let me actually sit down and try to learn how to play the piano. Let me actually sit down and try to learn a new language. Right? And it's something that's like, oh, it's challenging me, it's adding value to me, but it's also slowing the world down for me. Cause I'm not focusing on whatever problems I have or whatever issues that that's coming across. [00:47:21] **Herbie Mack:** It's just like, oh, I'm actually trying to learn this language. You know? Yeah. I'm horrible at it, but guess what? Over time I'm gonna get better at it. You know, just because I'm, I, I'm, I'm doing the reps. And that's just one positive way that I try to grow as a person, but also try to get away from those negative experiences and thoughts because it's like, oh, this is a new challenge. [00:47:42] **Elaine Lindsay:** Yeah. I think that's, that's a really, really good point. And another, well, this is a, a resource. It's a tool, but it's more. It's more part of your mindset, and that's the 80 20 rule. [00:48:00] Okay? The 80 20 rule fits across everything, you know, personal business, what have you. But I think for handling your stress and managing what's going on your life, you wanna know that, you know, guess what? [00:48:17] **Elaine Lindsay:** 80% of the time I'm doing well, I'm, I'm getting through my day, I'm having more positive thoughts. Then celebrate that there's 20%. That's just not gonna work. You're gonna try tools that at that time don't work, or you're just going to be in a, a wallow. It's what I sometimes call it, and you know what, that's okay because you're only gonna allow that 20% and then you shake it off and you go back to doing the things you need and using the resources that you have. [00:48:52] **Elaine Lindsay:** So that you stay in a more positive, but don't beat yourself up for not [00:49:00] making a hundred percent. Yeah. Okay. Nobody makes a hundred percent. That's perfect. Doesn't exist. Cuz guess what? It'd be boring. It would be so boring. [00:49:11] **Herbie Mack:** A another analogy or, or how I view it is, you know, in the beginning when we are learning how to tie our, our shoe, we are horrible at it. [00:49:19] **Herbie Mack:** Yeah. But over time we get better at it. Right. And then there's moments when it's like, man, this is not the best knot, but whatever. I gotta keep it going and it's okay. So just like whatever skill sets that I'm trying to learn, I, I, I always compare it to tie my shoe, right? Like right now I'm currently trying to learn Spanish. [00:49:36] **Herbie Mack:** Am I good at it? No. Nowhere near it. Right. But I know, like over time I, I'll get better at it might not, may look, you know, lopsided one day and it might look perfect the next day. Right. And I even tested out with some of my friends in Spanish and they're just like, bro, keep practicing. You know? And I'm like, ok, it's cool. [00:49:56] **Herbie Mack:** It's cool. And then some of them are like, Hey, yo, that's, that's pretty good for a [00:50:00] beginner. That is really good for a beginning and that helps me. Okay, cool. I'm doing a decent job, you know, and, and now the school that my daughter goes to Spanish is like, she's learning that from pre-K all the way to high school. [00:50:14] **Herbie Mack:** Yeah. So it's like, oh, she's going to learn Spanish at some point. She's gonna be way fluent than I am. But you know, what, if I, if I can meet her where she's at and learn it, it's that level, you know, it's like, that's my accountability partner. You know what I mean? Yeah. And, and then Absolutely. And that helps me stay locked in and focus to just keep on practicing. [00:50:34] **Herbie Mack:** Keep on practicing. And then it, it's, and it's so funny now because like I can't really speak it very well. Yeah. But I can when I listen to like this artist called Bad Bunny, he's like probably the, one of the biggest artists in the world right now. And and his music, like, I was listening to it and I was like, wow, I actually understand the verse. [00:50:53] **Herbie Mack:** Yeah. But no problem. Now, when if you would ask Yeah, if you would've asked me like three months ago, [00:51:00] far from it, you know, like I got little words, but it like, it, it helped me. And not only that, like I told you, it slows the world down for me. I'm not too hard on myself. I'm actually like, okay, I'm flawed, but it's fine. [00:51:12] **Herbie Mack:** I'm learning and this is what life is all about. Learning and, and not comparing my, my Spanish to someone who have years of Spanish. She was like, no, I'm, look, I'm at this level and I'm okay with it. I'm growing. And it just, not only with Spanish, but just even with the healing journey. Yeah. Understanding that like, Hey, I'm at this level, but I am gonna grow. [00:51:32] **Herbie Mack:** Yes. It's weird speaking into the mirror, all these positive affirmations, cuz it's just you and your thoughts. It seems weird, but then after the time you get better at it. Like, oh yes, I am smart, I am love, I can change the world. Or you know, sitting down writing your feelings and emotions you might like, I don't know what to write or I'll start crying, but it's okay, you're growing because you're not gonna be that same person that you was yesterday. [00:51:55] **Elaine Lindsay:** Absolutely. Every day you have a chance to be a new [00:52:00] you, which I think is incredible. And all I can say is Ola. And then I think I, there's a couple more sentences which are totally irrelevant. [00:52:14] **Herbie Mack:** Yeah. It, it takes time. It really does. Yeah. It's like [00:52:20] **Herbie Mack:** like, you know, it's like, it, it takes time. Just practicing that and, and really getting that down. But you know, like, Six months ago, I couldn't really even say that. That fluid. Yeah. Yeah. No, [00:52:30] **Elaine Lindsay:** you did that [00:52:30] **Herbie Mack:** really well. So it's like, oh, okay, cool. You know, and it, and it helps, but it, it, it's something that I know it's a new challenge and for me that's like part of my coping skills. [00:52:39] **Herbie Mack:** It's just like really taking time to learn a new language or reading a book or listening to a book or a podcast, right? Just all I want is just 15, 20 minutes of, of no distractions and something that's gonna add value to my life or entertain me. [00:52:54] **Elaine Lindsay:** Yeah. Yeah. And entertainment can add, not just add value, but [00:53:00] it can be learning as well. [00:53:02] **Herbie Mack:** Yes, yes. You would catch me either watching the office Jerry Seinfeld Seinfeld, like probably one of my favorite shows, the Office as well. But then like, you know, even watching like an action movie, something like a comic superhero movie would also just like, oh, it's entertainment, right? Sometimes I don't want to think, I, I just want, I just want to just sit down and just. [00:53:23] **Herbie Mack:** And just go with the flow, because life can be overwhelming. Oh yeah. You know, but then also, not only that I realize like those moments where I don't think, like watching superhero movies Right. I built a lot of good friendships off of that. Yeah. You know, cuz it's like, oh, hey man, hey, you know, I'm not even thinking about the world. [00:53:41] **Herbie Mack:** We're talking about Marvel, we are talking about DC and all this other stuff. And it's just like, yo, this is fun, this is good. And then it's like, oh, okay. I am the weirdo. But if I'm such the weirdo, why do I have friends that also have the same thing? Right. Because I found people that, that get my love language. [00:53:59] **Herbie Mack:** [00:54:00] Yeah. It, it's huge. [00:54:02] **Elaine Lindsay:** I met Stan Lee. [00:54:05] **Herbie Mack:** I'm, I'm jealous. [00:54:07] **Elaine Lindsay:** In a hangout. I spent an hour with him. And you are? My son is super my son was trying to get him. In an interview. I was with a group of friends in a hangout and I just, I think the Marvel universe is, is absolutely brilliant because it does give hope. [00:54:29] **Elaine Lindsay:** Yes. And, and that's, you know, incredible. Now, a little off script, but Guardians of the Galaxy, we're going as soon as it opens. Yes, [00:54:41] **Herbie Mack:** yes. I, I'm asking my wife, Hey do you think, do you think your mama watch the kids? I'm like, I'm asking, but No, but it's, it's, it's something like that, right? Like, no, we was talking earlier in episode as far as. [00:54:55] **Herbie Mack:** You know, social media can be a negative thing, right? But it also can be a positive thing [00:55:00] because if you're that, that, that that kid or that, you know, teenager that's like, man, no one gets me, right? But then if you go into whatever platform you use, if you go like, look at whatever hashtag and you see someone that's talking about the Avengers or talking about gardens at Galaxy, right? [00:55:18] **Herbie Mack:** And they might be really passionate about group and you're like, I am group. And you're like, man, I love group too. That person love group. Let me follow them. And that follow might lead into a dm. And then next thing you know, you, you got your own fan club, right? You got people that get your love language. [00:55:32] **Herbie Mack:** So life doesn't seem too stressful, right? Like, oh man. Like, man, I, people are making fun of the way I dress or how I talk. Right. The fact that I'm always wearing superhero outfits or whatnot. But guess what? I found people that got me. Yeah. Right. They may not physically be here, but hey man, I can DM them or I can go into whatever, like Facebook group or, or whatever, chat and find them and just really be a sponge. [00:55:57] **Herbie Mack:** Or I can act, actually express myself the way that I [00:56:00] want to express myself [00:56:01] **Elaine Lindsay:** and be part of your community. [00:56:04] **Herbie Mack:** Yes. That part. [00:56:06] **Elaine Lindsay:** Yeah, that's, that is definitely the good part of social media is that you can find community and the other thing that sometimes can be hard for us to get, and it's hard to stay there, but if you are looking for good, you're gonna find it. [00:56:27] **Elaine Lindsay:** If you are hesitant, You're more likely to pull in negative. And if you're looking for negative, I guarantee you'll find it cuz there's a ton of it. But it is our intention. What you put out there is what you get back. Okay? If you walk into a bodega to buy something and you're smiling and you say, thanks very much, and the person behind the counter might have been a little surly with the person before you, but they're polite with you because [00:57:00] you just lifted their vibration and it makes you feel good, it makes them feel good. [00:57:07] **Elaine Lindsay:** Okay? I drive my husband crazy because I wanna say hi to everybody on the planet. Okay? Everybody I walk by, doesn't matter if you've got headphones on, I'll do this. If you know, it doesn't matter if you're on a bicycle or whatever. I, I wanna say hello. And it's amazing. People don't often immediately hear you. [00:57:31] **Elaine Lindsay:** Yeah. But then they'll turn around and go, oh, hi. You know, because we are so in our little bubbles, if ya let that bubble go a little and your intention is to pull, good to you. Now I'm getting really esoteric. I know. No, that's fine. But you can in fact affect what's around you and, and bring better things towards you. [00:57:58] **Elaine Lindsay:** And when you get in the [00:58:00] habit of doing it, then it makes those tough times a lot easier and a lot shorter. Yeah. [00:58:09] **Herbie Mack:** I, I definitely agree with that. People want to be around good energy. Yeah. Yeah. Always around good energy even. Even, even when you're not like thinking, like the other day I went, I went grocery shopping and I'm like, I'm so locked into like, let me hurry up, lemme grab my groceries and come back home. [00:58:29] **Herbie Mack:** And, you know, I'm a pretty much of a positive person and I don't know, at this time I just was like, horse with blinders. Just like, let me hurry up. Lemme grab this and hurry you back. Hurry up back home. Cuz you know, the misses need help with the, with the kiddos. And I had, it was someone that was like, Hey, you never know who's watching you. [00:58:51] **Herbie Mack:** It was someone that was like, Hey, I always see you all the time, like everything okay. And I was just go, yeah, I'm good. Like, hey, how, how are you? You know? And it was like, oh, you know, you don't seem like yourself. And I'm just like, [00:59:00] I'm just, I was just focused and whatever. Yeah. And I thought, man, I never realized like, who's watching me? [00:59:07] **Herbie Mack:** No, it was like the target that I always run to. And she's like, Hey, is everything okay? Like, are you doing fine? Like, you just don't seem like yourself. And I was just like, no, I'm fine. I'm just, you know, trying to hurry up and you know, help the wife out with the kids. And that person was like, oh, okay. [00:59:19] **Herbie Mack:** Like, you know, I just wanted to make sure just checking in because you know, when I see you, you, you know, bring so much joy to me. And I was just like, but you don't even know me. Right? But it's just like, like that type of thing. And it was just like one of those like, oh wow. Oh, well thank you. I didn't realize I was making an impact when, you know, when you see me shopping, you know, I'm like, oh no, you always say hi. [00:59:41] **Herbie Mack:** You always ask me how I'm doing. Yeah. You know, I just thought like something was bugging you and I just wanted to make sure you was okay. And I was like, oh, well thank you. [00:59:48] **Elaine Lindsay:** And, and see that's perfect. That's part of the law of reciprocity because you give out so much positive all the time when you come around, and [01:00:00] that's not the vibration you have. [01:00:03] **Elaine Lindsay:** The people that you've always been nice to, are going to wonder and, and that, that the reciprocity is in checking in to make sure you are okay because you're not presenting as you normally do. I just think is absolutely [01:00:22] **Herbie Mack:** wonderful. I I just had to share that. [01:00:25] **Elaine Lindsay:** Oh, that's fabulous. Absolutely fabulous. So, oh my God, I, you and I could talk forever. [01:00:32] **Herbie Mack:** It's just a conversation. [01:00:34] **Elaine Lindsay:** It's just a conversa. Yeah. Yeah. Well, by next year we will have a conversation face to face. I'm, I'm putting that one on my agenda. What would you like to leave our audience with today? [01:00:54] **Herbie Mack:** I would like to leave them with understanding that you're not by yourself. I. You [01:01:00] know, during the, during the struggles that I was having, I thought I was by myself until I allowed my pride to actually sit there and decide to use my resources in understanding that, that I do have resources. They may not have all the answers, but guess what? [01:01:16] **Herbie Mack:** They can actually help and guide me to the help that I do need. So, understanding that you're not by yourself, but understanding that that ask for help or resources or using your resources is such a great thing cuz you're not by yourself and you, you can find people that's gonna understand your energy, your vibe, your language. [01:01:36] **Herbie Mack:** So go out there and ask for help and receive it. Be okay with it. [01:01:41] **Elaine Lindsay:** Absolutely. And just think you're not asking for help. You're using your resources. Yes. That was so well put, Herby, once again, thank you so much for being my guest. I so appreciate having you here. Your wisdom, your joy, and your [01:02:00] energy is lovely. [01:02:02] **Elaine Lindsay:** Absolutely lovely. Thank you for listening. It's wonderful to have you with us as well. And as I always say, make the very best of your today every day, and I'll see you next time. Bye for now. Thank --------------------
Before we get going, I want to warn everyone that we will discuss suicide attempts today. If you are in crisis right now - please get help. Text or call 988 in the US. Help is available 24 hours a day. For other countries, visit https://findahelpline.com/ for options near you. The goal of this episode is that our shared experiences as suicide attempt survivors offers hope and encouragement to others, to you. We also want to raise awareness about the importance of mental health and suicide prevention. The World Health Organization estimates that 800,000 people die by suicide each year. That number is undoubtedly underreported. In 2020, it is estimated that 1.2 million people attempted to end their life, and what isn't talked about enough is that millions of people go on to live full, healthy lives after attempts. My guest today is Herbie Mack. Herbie was born and raised in the South Bronx of New York, where he saw drug abuse and gang violence and experienced family trauma that caused him depression as a child, teenager, and adult. This led Herbie to become a functional alcoholic for over 11 years due to his inability to express his emotions effectively. Herbie was unaware of the signs of suicide ideation, which led to him attempting suicide multiple times. After his last attempt and years of healing, he decided not to keep his suicide attempts to himself. Topics and Questions 2:26 - Why multiple attempts? 3:20 - What were you trying to end? 4:00 - How do you define a suicide attempt? 5:28 - Herbie's story. 10:43 - Andy's experience. 13:38 - Forgiveness was the hardest thing. 16:45 - A cry for help. 19:52 - Did you need to experience multiple attempts? 22:03 - How long has it been since your last attempt? 22:17 - Do the thoughts return for you? 23:30 - How do you keep hope and healing after your attempt? 25:06 - What's the best part of being alive? 26:10 - Any advice for someone who has made an attempt and is alone? 27:40 - Any tips for someone who has found a loved one who made a suicide attempt? 28:40 - Andy's seven tips following an attempt. 30:42 - The weakest thing. 35:36 - Tell me about your podcast. 37:22 - Herbie asks Andy how his road to recovery was. 43:43 - What's the best way for people to learn more and connect with you? Links Herbie Mack -- https://herbiemack.com/ Recommended Books: 200 Powerful Positive Affirmations Vol1, Volume 2, and Still Here: How To Succeed in Life After Failing at Suicide. Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast: Interested in a Clarity Call with Andy? - visit theandygrant.com/talk Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @andyfgrant Personal Website | theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info! Podcast Website | re --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/realmenfeel/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/realmenfeel/support
Herbie Mack attempted suicide, but survived. He, just like many, thought it could never happen to him. He tells his story, but also talks about how to regain hope. This episode is for everybody! This episode is listed as explicit not because of bad language, but because of the intense nature of the facts about the story being told. https://hbmack.net/ Police Guides: https://amzn.to/3P9Lhjl Disclaimer: The creator is not responsible for any errors or omissions, or for the results obtained from the use of this information. The views or opinions belong solely to the Creator. Information by the Creator is for Educational Purposes Certain Content herein is subject to the Doctrine of “Fair Use”
Herbie Mack interviews Nicholas Murray. Nicholas is a personal trainer and co-founder of Mind Muscle Pro, which spreads mental health awareness through interviews and inspiring people. Nicholas shares his powerful story of childhood struggles that led him down the path to suicide ideation and attempt. He discovered the benefits of working out and how it can positively affect his mental health and ultimately save his life. #JustBelieveShow #MentalHealthMatters #SuicidePrevention Mind muscle pro - Instagram page Mind muscle pro-Youtube channel Follow me on Instagram @HBMACK Add me on Facebook Herbie Mack Suicide Prevention Herbie Mack Suicide Prevention Resources
Herbie Mack interviews Deryl Glaze. Deryl is an addiction recovery expert and speaker. Deryl Glaze has inspired men and women of all ages to overcome substance abuse issues and live healthy, drug-free, and productive lives. His secret to their success is striving for a purpose bigger than "recovery" alone because people who don't have a dream more significant than their recovery often relapse. #JustBelieveShow #MentalHealthMatters #SuicidePrevention Deryl Glaze's Instagram Deryl Glaze Website - DerylGlaze.com Follow me on Instagram @HBMACK Add me on Facebook Herbie Mack Suicide Prevention Herbie Mack Suicide Prevention Resources
In today's Just Believe episode, Herbie Mack is celebrating seven years after his last suicide attempt. Trigger warning, Herbie opens up and shares his powerful story and that pivotal moment that saved his life and started his path to suicide prevention advocacy. Conversations about mental health and suicide can help everyone. No one deserves to die by suicide; we can prevent it. #JustBelieveShow #MentalHealthMatters #SuicidePrevention Follow me on Instagram @HBMACK Add me on Facebook Herbie Mack Suicide Prevention Herbie Mack Suicide Prevention Resources
In today's Just Believe episode, Herbie Mack breaks down the new lifeline and crisis number 988. He also provides resources for anyone struggling with or who knows someone struggling with mental health challenges and crises. Anyone can have a mental health challenge; it can happen at any age and in any person. #JustBelieveShow #MentalHealthMatters #SuicidePrevention Follow me on Instagram @HBMACK Add me on Facebook Herbie Mack Suicide Prevention Herbie Mack Suicide Prevention Resources
Herbie Mack is a multi-time suicide survivor, which led him to become a suicide prevention speaker. Herbie is also a mental health first aider, QPR gateKeeper, and the Just Believe Podcast host. The Just Believe Podcast gives insight into how people overcome their mental health challenges, seek professional help & provide alternative ways to tackle anxiety and depression. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/normalizetheconversation/support
Episode 21 is one survivor's story from hopelessness to happiness: a survivor's story around multi-suicide attempts, featuring Herbie Mack of the Just Believe podcast, in honor of Mental Health Awareness Month. Listen now! Herbie Mack is a Life coach, Suicide Prevention Speaker, Multi-times Suicide Attempt Survivor and the host of the “Just Believe” podcast, where he normalizes conversations about mental health challenges. Herbie gives insight into how everyday people overcome mental health battles, how to seek professional help & alternative ways to tackle anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation & more. Check out Herbie's social media links below: HerbieMack.com Instagram @hbmack Twitter @hbmack Facebook Herbie Mack Page The Just Believe Podcast Resources discussed during this episode: Low-cost therapy: openpathcollective.org How to find a therapist: www.psychologytoday.com/us Episode 21 Highlights: Destigmatizing the stigma around mental health in BIPOC communities His own personal journey dealing with depression & multi-suicide attempts Warning signs to look out for in regards to suicidal ideation Dealing with forgiveness towards those who hurt us The importance of setting boundaries & changing toxic environments & much more! Share this podcast with everyone you know. Tell a friend to tell a friend to TELL A FRIEND about the Watch Us Thrive podcast! New episodes are released every Tuesday at 5AM EST. Be sure to follow me on Instagram, TikTok & Twitter to stay up-to-date. Sending you love, light, healing and many, many thanks✨ XO, Lianne This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp®. Get professional support when you need it, at a fraction of the cost of in-person therapy. Sign up today and receive 10% off your first month! Get started today! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/watchusthrivepodcast/support
PollyAnnamazing and the remarkable Herbie Mack discuss how he brought himself out of desperation into the pleasure he now knows. He discusses the 5 Love Languages and a host of other ways to communicate to allow for healing from trauma and depression not only for yourself but for your partner/s.
The Awareness Space - Health & Wellbeing - Podcast and Movement
** See Teaser Trailer - https://youtu.be/8plb0Vcv9yQ ** Welcome everyone to The Awareness Space Podcast that explores human experience. In this episode we talk with guest Herbie Mack -- Herbie shares his powerful story of his experience with suicidal thoughts and intentions and the journey to recovery. We cover men's health, childhood trauma and what is needed to feel steady in life. -- For more on us visit https://www.theawarenessspace.com/ -- Welcome everyone to The Awareness Space Podcast that explores human experience. When we become aware of what's going on for us in this moment and doing so with compassion, safety and non judgemental we can begin to heal. The question is, how can we integrate this sense of awareness to create a steady and resilient way of life? What daily practices can we implement, what kind of wellbeing support can we engage in and what mental and emotional resources can cultivate within?. This what I seek out to discover via this podcast -- All we have is this moment and how can we best engage with it for a sense of peace within. -- Our Guest Details -- Herbie Mack --- Herbie Mack is a multi-time suicide survivor, which led him to become a suicide prevention speaker. Herbie is also a mental health first aider, QPR gateKeeper, and the Just Believe Podcast host. The Just Believe Podcast gives insight into how people overcome their mental health challenges, seek professional help & provide alternative ways to tackle anxiety and depression. -- Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/hbmack/ Website - https://hbmack.net/ YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7dlSOc4KpfL1N0UuNxWscg Podcast Apple - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/just-believe-podcast/id1535362100 Podcast Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/005eZldgTZpgnxxGCWMeKV -- Based in United States of America (sessions online available) -- If you are in need of support regarding anything you have seen here today then please contact the support services listed below. Please contact a health professional if you need help -- UK -- The Samaritans - https://www.samaritans.org/ -- Mind - The Mental Health Charity - https://www.mind.org.uk/ -- USA National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1 (800) 273-8255 National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1 (800) 799-7233 LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline: 1 (866) 488-7386 National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1 (800) 656-4673 Crisis Text Line: Text “HOME” to 741741 -- Australia Helplines and online support https://www.mhc.wa.gov.au/getting-help/helplines -- More affordable Online Counseling https://www.betterhelp.com/about/ -- PODCAST DISCLAIMER - PLEASE READ BEFORE WATCHING OR LISTENING Welcome to The Awareness Space. As always please read the disclaimer in the description of podcast & also put yourself first as the following content may bring things up for you that feel uncomfortable. Look after you and take a break from the podcast if you need too. The videos on this channel and it's content are not a substitute for the support & guidance of a qualified health professional. We are here to share information that may be useful to our viewers and we hope you enjoy. Links to organizations that can support you are in the description. The views, opinions and theories shared via this video, channel and TAS as a whole do not representative of the individual views, opinions & beliefs of the narrators, producers or creators and of this channel and movement as a whole.
Herbie Mack, host of the Just Believe podcast is our guest this episode, a loving father and husband, a suicide prevention speaker, a multi-time suicide survivor, and much more. Herbie is an open book of a story we can all relate to, like a book, he is a fountain of knowledge when it comes to mental health and overcoming our cognitive, emotional and environmental challenges. We discuss overcoming addiction, surviving suicide, expressing emotion, and normalising discussions on mental health and what's really going on in our lives.
Herbie Mack, host of the Just Believe podcast is our guest this episode, a loving father and husband, a suicide prevention speaker, a multi-time suicide survivor, and much more. Herbie is an open book of a story we can all relate to, like a book, he is a fountain of knowledge when it comes to mental health and overcoming our cognitive, emotional and environmental challenges. We discuss overcoming addiction, surviving suicide, expressing emotion, and normalising discussions on mental health and what's really going on in our lives.
Herbie Mack is a multi-time suicide survivor, which led him to become a suicide prevention speaker. Herbie is also a mental health first aider, QPR gateKeeper, and the Just Believe Podcast host. The Just Believe Podcast gives insight into how people overcome their mental health challenges, seek professional help & provide alternative ways to tackle anxiety and depression. Social Media Links Instagram @hbmack Twitter @Hbmack Facebook Herbie Mack Suicide Prevention Speaker
Herbie Mack is a multi-time suicide survivor, which led him to become a suicide prevention speaker. Herbie is also a mental health first aider, QPR gateKeeper, and the Just Believe Podcast host. The Just Believe Podcast gives insight into how people overcome their mental health challenges, seek professional help & provide alternative ways to tackle anxiety and depression. Social Media Links Instagram @hbmack Twitter @Hbmack Facebook Herbie Mack Suicide Prevention Speaker
In today's Just Believe Podcast episode, Herbie Mack breaks down mental health in the black community. Herbie talks about how many black people have been affected by mental health in the last year. He also provides resources for anyone struggling with or who knows someone struggling with mental health challenges. Anyone can have a mental health challenge; it can happen at any age and in any person.
In today's episode of the Just Believe Podcast, Herbie Mack interviews a special guest Gwendolyn Downing, LPC (licensed professional counselor). Gwendolyn is the initiator of the Connect All initiative for the safest and most hopeful possibilities. She has an in-depth discussion on the importance of building a solid foundation and how to improve your self-care daily using only five essential elements. Gwendolyn Down's website connectall.online Gwendolyn Down's Instagram @gwendolynjdowning Gwendolyn Down's Facebook Connect All Website Hbmack.net Follow me on Instagram @HBMACK Add me on Facebook Herbie Mack Suicide Prevention Speaker Resources
In today's episode of the Just Believe Podcast, Herbie Mack interviews a special guest Angelo Tratsis. Angelo shares his story about leaving Greece to come to America, opens up about his struggle with lacking self-confidence, and how he learned to believe in himself. Angelo is a motivator and Freeletics ambassador. Angelo's Instagram @fitness_for_body_and_mind Angelo's Website freeletics.com/en/athlete/145019 Website Hbmack.net Follow me on Instagram @HBMACK Add me on Facebook Herbie Mack Suicide Prevention Speaker Resources
In today's episode of the Just Believe Podcast, Herbie Mack interviews a special guest Ice Prabakar. Ice shares her story about overcoming malaria, which gave her the courage to chase her dream to become a national dancer. She is a media star in India. Ice also shares her struggle to leave India to come to America and adjust to married life. Ice is a teacher in acting, dancing, and media training. Ice Prabakar's Instagram - @ice_prabakar Website Hbmack.net Follow me on Instagram @HBMACK Add me on Facebook Herbie Mack Suicide Prevention Speaker Resources
In today's episode of the Just Believe Podcast, Herbie Mack breaks down depression. Herbie talks about how many people are affected by depression, what can cause depression and the signs of depression. He also shares tips that helped him with his depression and provides resources for anyone struggling with or who knows someone struggling with depression. Anyone can get depressed, and depression can happen at any age and in any person. Website Hbmack.net Follow me on Instagram @HBMACK Add me on Facebook Herbie Mack Suicide Prevention Speaker Resources
This week on the Just Believe Podcast, Herbie Mack celebrates four years of sobriety. He shares his struggle with alcohol and shares tips that helped him along his journey to sobriety. Alcohol reduces inhibitions and affects decision-making, making decisions while drinking that we would not usually make sober. 71.4% of alcohol-related deaths occur in men. Excessive drinking kills 3,504 Americans under 21 each year; 77.5% are male. 34.7% of people who die from alcohol are between 50 and 64 years old. Please drink responsibly. Website Hbmack.net Follow me on Instagram @HBMACK Add me on Facebook Herbie Mack Suicide Prevention Speaker Resources
Walking Purpose Episode 15 Special Addition Episode “Breaking The Stigma”.Our Founder Craig Cooper had the opportunity to have a great conversation with Herbie Mack about the importance of expressing yourself. Tune in to hear Craig and Herbie talk about how both of their depressions started in their childhood. Imagine what you could say to your self as a child. In this episode you will hear about the importance of finding an outlet when you are battling depression also the importance of Surround yourself with good people and strong brotherhood. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/craig-cooper9/support