Podcast appearances and mentions of nami helpline

Humility is one of the most quietly powerful practices for positive psychology and mental health. It's also one of the most misunderstood. Here's the heart of it: humility is not a weakness. It's not about making yourself small or performing modesty for social approval. It's an accurate, grounded sense of self, what Dr. Daryl Van Tongeren calls "right-sizing." You own your strengths and weaknesses. And you hold your worth steady through all of it. We explored four types of humility this month: relational, intellectual, cultural, and existential. And we worked through three core ingredients to build humility up: Know Yourself. This is where self-compassion becomes essential. Self-knowledge without self-compassion tends to slide into rumination — that harsh, looping self-focus that keeps us stuck. Dr. Kristin Neff's research reminds us that genuine self-reflection requires feeling safe enough to look clearly, without bracing for an attack. When self-compassion is in place, honest self-awareness becomes possible. So does recognizing things like the better-than-average effect, which is our tendency to unconsciously and inaccurately position ourselves as a little more right, and others a little more wrong. Humility gently corrects that drift. Check Yourself. This is ego territory. When we feel threatened, the ego rises up. We deflect, deny, shut down, intellectualize. It's a very human, very normal response. But it doesn't have to run the show. One of the most practical tools from this series: when you feel defensive, pause. Breathe. Then ask yourself, "What would I think if I weren't feeling defensive?" That question can create some space for the ego to stand down and lets emotional regulation take over instead of reactivity. Go Beyond Yourself. This is where the magic of humility really shows itself as we build a genuine curiosity about other people and life's bigger questions. The self-forgetfulness that C.S. Lewis describes as essential to humility puts it all into action. When we're not so consumed by ourselves, the world opens up. And that's where connection, meaning, and joy actually show up in more noticeable, lasting ways. If you've worked through this series and feel less certain than when you started, that's not a problem. That's the practice of humility in action. Sitting with uncertainty, tolerating what's unresolved, resisting the cultural pressure toward easy answers and performed confidence is peak courage. It's often uncomfortable and it's always worth it. If this work has stirred something that feels bigger than you want to carry alone, please reach out to a therapist, a trusted friend, or a support community. Seeking support isn't weakness. It's an act of humility and one of the most courageous things you can do. And for Joy Lab Program members: your Episode Experiment includes a guided meditation and journal prompts to help you harvest and integrate the work you've done this month.  We close with Rilke (we know, we close with Rilke a lot!): "Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves." Keep tending to your humility. It grows good things.   About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, anxiety, and depression. It's hosted by integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons and holistic mental health researcher Dr. Aimee Prasek. The podcast is best paired with the Joy Lab Program (get your 7-day free trial!). Bonus: spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible).       Sources and Notes for our Element of Humility: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life. Start your 7-day free trial now. Episodes in this Humility series: Humility Can Be Stressful... But Worth it for Mental Health [ep. 268] Know Yourself: The Humility Practice That Quiets Rumination and Builds Emotional Resilience [ep. 269] Check Yourself: Ego Threat, Stress Relief, & Needing to Prove Yourself [270] Book: Humble by Daryl Van Tongeren, PhD Tara Brach's website Find more about Neff's work on Self-compassion at Self-Compassion.org More on C.S. Lewis from the C.S. Lewis Foundation.  Hagá & Olson. 'If I only had a little humility, I would be perfect': Children's and adults' perceptions of intellectually arrogant, humble, and diffident people. Access here. Nielsen & Marrone. Humility: Our current understanding of the construct and its role in organizations. Access here. Porter et al. Predictors and consequences of intellectual humility. Access here. Van Tongeren et al. Humility. Access here.  Weidman et al. The psychological structure of humility. Access here. Wright et al. The psychological significance of humility. Access here. Wendell Berry's book Standing by Words   Common Questions: Q: How do I stop being so hard on myself without losing self-awareness? A: Self-compassion and self-knowledge are partners. As researcher Dr. Kristin Neff puts it, "You can look clearly at yourself when you're not afraid of what you'll find." Self-compassion creates the psychological safety for honest, accurate self-appraisal, replacing harsh rumination with compassionate self-reflection. Humility is the result: an accurate, grounded sense of self that's neither inflated nor deflated. Q: Why does being humble feel so uncomfortable and countercultural? A: Because in many ways, it is. We live in a world that often rewards certainty, self-promotion, and being right, even when those things don't actually nourish us. Building humility means opening up to uncertainty and the unknown, which takes real courage. The good news is that discomfort is also building something called uncertainty-tolerance, a form of emotional resilience that reaches across every area of your life in really nourishing ways.   Key moments: [00:00] Welcome & orientation — Aimee frames the three-part humility arc (Know Yourself → Check Yourself → Go Beyond Yourself) [01:30] Henry's realization: humility, like every Joy Lab Element, is ultimately about learning to love well and connect more deeply [03:00] Why humility is the antidote to loneliness — the difference between being surrounded by people and being genuinely seen; how isolation is really a form of alienation [05:00] What it feels like to be with a truly humble person — and why humility makes us safer, more trustworthy, and more magnetic in relationships and communities [06:30] The traffic circle of defensiveness — Aimee on why the risk of being burned by someone is still better than a lifetime of self-protective looping [07:30] Epistemic humility explained — the idea that your understanding of reality is always partial, always filtered, always a vantage point. And so is everyone else's. (Plus: a pronunciation debate.) [08:45] Why disagreement doesn't mean someone is wrong, and how truth is larger than any one person's grasp of it [10:30] William James on the deepest craving in human nature: to be appreciated and seen [11:00] Two practical strategies for going beyond yourself: (1) deep, active listening as a humility practice — not formulating your response, but truly receiving another person; (2) seeing the innocence of others [12:30] Thich Nhat Hanh: "Listen until they empty their hearts." Henry shares this as a guide for showing up and listening [13:30] Seeing the innocence in others — Henry's 30+ years of clinical wisdom distilled: most people are doing the best they can with what they have, right now. How holding that awareness softens judgment without eliminating boundaries [15:30] Aimee reflects: "That's the wisdom I'd want somebody to hold when they see me messing up." [16:00] Experiment preview for Joy Lab Program members + closing Rumi quote: "You are not a drop in the ocean, you are the entire ocean in a drop."    Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram Linkedin Facebook YouTube   Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

Humility is a powerful mental health tool we have. The science of happiness is clear: genuine connection and belonging are among the strongest predictors of emotional resilience and wellbeing. In this episode of Joy Lab we'll explore the final dimension of humility: going beyond yourself. Building on Dr. Daryl Van Tongeren's framework from Humble, we'll explore how knowing yourself and checking your ego aren't the finish line. That's prep work so you can show up for others with open eyes and an open heart. Whether you've been lonely, stuck in defensive loops, or just tired of running into yourself everywhere you turn, this episode offers a warm, science-grounded roadmap toward deeper connection. This is Episode 4 of Joy Lab's Element of Humility series, following Dr. Daryl Van Tongeren's framework: know yourself, check yourself, and go beyond yourself.   About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, anxiety, and depression. It's hosted by integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons and holistic mental health researcher Dr. Aimee Prasek. The podcast is best paired with the Joy Lab Program (get your 7-day free trial!). Bonus: spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible).    Full transcript      Sources and Notes for our Element of Humility: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life. Start your 7-day free trial now. Episodes in this Humility series: Humility Can Be Stressful... But Worth it for Mental Health [ep. 268] Know Yourself: The Humility Practice That Quiets Rumination and Builds Emotional Resilience [ep. 269] Check Yourself: Ego Threat, Stress Relief, & Needing to Prove Yourself [270] Book: Humble by Daryl Van Tongeren, PhD Tara Brach's website Find more about Neff's work on Self-compassion at Self-Compassion.org More on C.S. Lewis from the C.S. Lewis Foundation.  Hagá & Olson. 'If I only had a little humility, I would be perfect': Children's and adults' perceptions of intellectually arrogant, humble, and diffident people. Access here. Nielsen & Marrone. Humility: Our current understanding of the construct and its role in organizations. Access here. Porter et al. Predictors and consequences of intellectual humility. Access here. Van Tongeren et al. Humility. Access here.  Weidman et al. The psychological structure of humility. Access here. Wright et al. The psychological significance of humility. Access here. Wendell Berry's book Standing by Words   Key moments: [00:00] Welcome & orientation — Aimee frames the three-part humility arc (Know Yourself → Check Yourself → Go Beyond Yourself) [01:30] Henry's realization: humility, like every Joy Lab Element, is ultimately about learning to love well and connect more deeply [03:00] Why humility is the antidote to loneliness — the difference between being surrounded by people and being genuinely seen; how isolation is really a form of alienation [05:00] What it feels like to be with a truly humble person — and why humility makes us safer, more trustworthy, and more magnetic in relationships and communities [06:30] The traffic circle of defensiveness — Aimee on why the risk of being burned by someone is still better than a lifetime of self-protective looping [07:30] Epistemic humility explained — the idea that your understanding of reality is always partial, always filtered, always a vantage point. And so is everyone else's. (Plus: a pronunciation debate.) [08:45] Why disagreement doesn't mean someone is wrong, and how truth is larger than any one person's grasp of it [10:30] William James on the deepest craving in human nature: to be appreciated and seen [11:00] Two practical strategies for going beyond yourself: (1) deep, active listening as a humility practice — not formulating your response, but truly receiving another person; (2) seeing the innocence of others [12:30] Thich Nhat Hanh: "Listen until they empty their hearts." Henry shares this as a guide for showing up and listening [13:30] Seeing the innocence in others — Henry's 30+ years of clinical wisdom distilled: most people are doing the best they can with what they have, right now. How holding that awareness softens judgment without eliminating boundaries [15:30] Aimee reflects: "That's the wisdom I'd want somebody to hold when they see me messing up." [16:00] Experiment preview for Joy Lab Program members + closing Rumi quote: "You are not a drop in the ocean, you are the entire ocean in a drop."    Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram Linkedin Facebook YouTube   Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

Humility and mental health are more connected than you might think. And if you add self-compassion to the humility-ego mix, then you have a recipe that can support mood, offer stress relief, and give your mind and body a break from constantly trying to defend yourself. We'll dig into all this with the "Check Yourself" step of the humility framework, unpacking ego threat, defensive thinking patterns, and the very human stress response that kicks in when we feel criticized, wrong, or uncertain. Spoiler: the ego is not the villain here. It's more like an overzealous bodyguard, and humility is how you can teach it to stand down. This is Episode 3 of Joy Lab's Element of Humility series, following Dr. Daryl Van Tongeren's framework: know yourself, check yourself, and go beyond yourself.   About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, anxiety, and depression. It's hosted by integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons and holistic mental health researcher Dr. Aimee Prasek. The podcast is best paired with the Joy Lab Program. Bonus: spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible).    Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram Linkedin Watch this episode on YouTube     Sources and Notes for our Element of Humility: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life.  Episodes in this Humility series: Humility Can Be Stressful... But Worth it for Mental Health [ep. 268] Know Yourself: The Humility Practice That Quiets Rumination and Builds Emotional Resilience [ep. 269] Book: Humble by Daryl Van Tongeren, PhD Tara Brach's website Find more about Neff's work on Self-compassion at Self-Compassion.org More on C.S. Lewis from the C.S. Lewis Foundation.  Hagá & Olson. 'If I only had a little humility, I would be perfect': Children's and adults' perceptions of intellectually arrogant, humble, and diffident people. Access here. Nielsen & Marrone. Humility: Our current understanding of the construct and its role in organizations. Access here. Porter et al. Predictors and consequences of intellectual humility. Access here. Van Tongeren et al. Humility. Access here.  Weidman et al. The psychological structure of humility. Access here. Wright et al. The psychological significance of humility. Access here. Wendell Berry's book Standing by Words   Key moments: [00:00] Welcome and episode framing — checking ourselves means we accept that we don't know it all, recognize our own cultural lenses, and can sit with uncertainty without losing ourselves. [02:00] Henry on accepting uncertainty as a form of letting go of control — and why the self-knowledge work from last episode makes this possible. True inner strength means being secure enough to admit when you're wrong and hold your ground when you need to. [04:00] Enter: the ego. Aimee makes the case that the ego isn't the root of all evil. A healthy ego helps us maintain a coherent, positive sense of self. The problem isn't the ego itself; it's when the ego runs the whole show, making every decision from a place of fear. [06:30] Ego threat explained — when criticism, mistakes, or uncertainty shake our sense of self, a stress response activates. This triggers cognitive distortions: black-and-white thinking, confirmation-seeking, and rigid beliefs. It's common, it's wired in, and it doesn't have to take us down. [08:30] Henry's bodyguard metaphor: the ego is a zealous protector that sometimes overreacts wildly — treating a questioned idea like a life-or-death threat. Humility doesn't fire the bodyguard. It just teaches it to relax. [11:00] Signs the bodyguard has overstepped. Aimee walks through the obvious ones (counterattacking, deflecting, blame-shifting) and the subtler ones (shutting down, overexplaining, people-pleasing, doubling down on beliefs to avoid uncertainty). If you're nodding, you're in good company. [13:00] Henry adds the physical signs of ego threat to watch for: chest tightness, heat rising, clenched jaw, shallow breathing. Your body knows you're in ego threat before your mind does. Also: the urgency to respond immediately, spinning narratives to justify reactions, needing the last word. [15:00] The good news — and the real mental health payoff. Admitting mistakes makes us more liked and respected. Humility builds psychological safety in relationships, keeps small harms from becoming earthquakes, reduces thought distortions, and separates self-worth from performance. It's a genuine resilience-booster. [17:00] Henry's three-step in-the-moment practice: pause (especially when it feels most urgent), take one slow breath (gives your brain a chance to come back online), and ask "What would I think about this if I weren't feeling defensive?" Shift from threat response to curiosity response — and still hold your ground if you need to, just from a grounded place. [19:00] Aimee adds supportive touch as an emotional regulation tool — hands stacked gently on the body, a breath, a moment of self-compassion. Getting out of the traffic circle doesn't require a response or a win. Sometimes you just drive on your way. [20:30] Closing wisdom from Tara Brach: "The ego is not your enemy, it is your partner. Make peace with it."   Full transcript here   Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

Humility is a powerful (and mostly misunderstood) mental health skill that's grounded by self-knowledge and self-compassion. Humility is also a powerful antidote to rumination and harsh self-criticism and a tool to support mood and emotional resilience. We'll build up humility through this series by taking a positive psychology approach along with Dr. Daryl Van Tongeren's framework to build humility (know yourself, check yourself, go beyond yourself.) This episode is all about Step 1 (know yourself) and it turns out it's both the most uncomfortable and the most freeing place to start. About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, anxiety, and depression. It's hosted by integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons and holistic mental health researcher Dr. Aimee Prasek. The podcast is best paired with the Joy Lab Program. Bonus: spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible).    Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram Linkedin Watch this episode on YouTube   Sources and Notes for our Element of Humility: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life.  Episodes in this Humility series: Humility Can Be Stressful... But Worth it for Mental Health [ep. 268] Book: Humble by Daryl Van Tongeren, PhD Find more about Neff's work on Self-compassion at Self-Compassion.org More on C.S. Lewis from the C.S. Lewis Foundation.  Hagá & Olson. 'If I only had a little humility, I would be perfect': Children's and adults' perceptions of intellectually arrogant, humble, and diffident people. Access here. Nielsen & Marrone. Humility: Our current understanding of the construct and its role in organizations. Access here. Porter et al. Predictors and consequences of intellectual humility. Access here. Van Tongeren et al. Humility. Access here.  Weidman et al. The psychological structure of humility. Access here. Wright et al. The psychological significance of humility. Access here. Wendell Berry's book Standing by Words   Key moments: [00:00] Why self-knowledge comes first in the humility framework — and why skipping it makes the rest of the work harder. [02:00] The humility paradox: who scores highest on self-reported humility? People with narcissistic traits. What this reveals about why self-knowledge matters. [04:30] Reflection vs. rumination: same self-focused action, completely different energy — and very different effects on anxiety and depression. [07:30] Clark Griswold on the roundabout: Aimee's perfect visual for rumination, plus Van Tongeren's concept of "right-sizing yourself." [09:30] Obstacle #1: The idealized self. When the gap between who you are and who you think you should be stops motivating and starts deflating. [12:00] Obstacle #2: The better-than-average effect. Most of us rank ourselves above average — and that's statistically impossible. How this positivity bias quietly inflates us. [14:30] Obstacle #3: The harsh inner critic disguised as self-awareness. Why beating yourself up isn't humility — it's ego turned inward. [17:00] Dr. Kristin Neff's insight: self-compassion is the foundation of honest self-awareness. You can look clearly when you're not afraid of what you'll find. [19:30] Rumination as an internal courtroom — and Aimee's personal story about chronic lateness, hard feedback from a friend, and what it took to actually receive it. [23:30] Henry's simple journaling practice: notice what you observed about yourself this week. No analysis, no judgment — just patterns, held gently. [25:30] Preview of next week's "Check Yourself" episode, and a closing note from Aristotle.   Full transcript here   Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

Humility is not a weakness or a sign you're a pushover, instead it's a mental health tool that just might be exactly what our loneliness epidemic and anxiety culture are desperately craving. Humility is an accurate, grounded sense of who you are. And that grounded sense of self is a foundation for confidence, deeper connection, and holistic mental health. Here's what we'll explore this episode: There are four research-backed types of humility to focus on: Relational humility — how you hold yourself in relation to others; not above, not below Intellectual humility — holding beliefs with openness; curiosity over certainty Cultural humility — recognizing the limits of your own cultural lens and genuinely welcoming differences Existential humility — making peace with uncertainty, impermanence, and the big unanswerable questions of human life You might be doing great in one area and struggling in another (that's normal). These types aren't perfectly clean categories, but they offer areas for self-reflection and focus as you work to boost your humility and emotional wellbeing throughout the month.  With these areas in mind, we'll use researcher Dr. Daryl Van Tongeren's framework to build humility through three core ingredients: Know Yourself — honest self-awareness of strengths and limits, without self-preoccupation Check Yourself — reducing defensiveness and the need to protect your ego Go Beyond Yourself — cultivating empathy and humility as a deep relational practice These three ingredients aren't just a nice framework for self improvement, they're a pathway to reducing loneliness, increasing connection, and building the kind of holistic healing and joy that Joy Lab is all about. If you're in the Joy Lab Program, your first Experiment will help you locate yourself within these four types and start the work.   About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, anxiety, and depression. It's hosted by integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons and holistic mental health researcher Dr. Aimee Prasek. The podcast is best paired with the Joy Lab Program. Bonus: spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible).    Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram Linkedin Watch on YouTube     Sources and Notes for our Element of Humility: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life.  More on C.S. Lewis from the C.S. Lewis Foundation. Book: Humble by Daryl Van Tongeren, PhD Hagá & Olson. 'If I only had a little humility, I would be perfect': Children's and adults' perceptions of intellectually arrogant, humble, and diffident people. Access here. Nielsen & Marrone. Humility: Our current understanding of the construct and its role in organizations. Access here. Porter et al. Predictors and consequences of intellectual humility. Access here. Van Tongeren et al. Humility. Access here.  Weidman et al. The psychological structure of humility. Access here. Wright et al. The psychological significance of humility. Access here. Wendell Berry's book Standing by Words   Key moments: [00:00:00] Welcome + intro to Joy Lab's Element of Humility — solo episode with Dr. Aimee Prasek [00:00:30] Clearing up the bad takes: what humility is not — not weakness, not martyrdom, not dismissing your talents [00:01:00] The social science of humility: why we're drawn to humble people from mid-adolescence on, and why it primes us for connection [00:02:00] Humility as antidote to certainty culture and self-destructive perfectionism; the formal definition unpacked [00:02:45] C.S. Lewis on humility as self-forgetfulness — and the powerful paradox it reveals about hyper self-focus [00:03:30] The reframed Lewis quote: "Humility is not thinking less of yourself — it's thinking of yourself less often" [00:04:15] Introducing the four research-backed types of humility: relational, intellectual, cultural, and existential [00:05:00] Deep dive into intellectual, cultural, and existential humility — leaning into curiosity over certainty [00:06:00] Why humility is harder than other Elements — and why it's worth it anyway [00:07:00] The obstacles: certainty culture, fear of being wrong, pressure to perform vs. just be [00:08:00] Ego protection, the stress response, and why humility can feel like a physical threat to the nervous system [00:08:45] Dr. Daryl Van Tongeren's three ingredients for building humility: Know Yourself → Check Yourself → Go Beyond Yourself [00:09:45] Humility as medicine for the loneliness epidemic, anxiety, and depression — why culture is craving this right now [00:10:30] What's coming next: knowing ourselves, plus your first Joy Lab Program Experiment [00:11:00] Closing poem: The Real Work by Wendell Berry   Full transcript here   Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

Spoiler: you were never meant to do this alone. In the final episode of Joy Lab's Resilience series, Dr. Aimee Prasek and Dr. Henry Emmons explore the most powerful — and most underrated — ingredient in lasting resilience: deep, meaningful connection. They unpack the neuroscience of belonging, the illusion of separation that quietly wrecks our wellbeing, and two surprisingly accessible practices: shared-joy and moral elevation. These practices can open us to greater connection right now, no personality overhaul required. The takeaway from this episode is that deep connection isn't a bonus feature of a resilient life. It's the foundation. And the good news? You're already wired for it.   Try It Free

We're in our Element of Resilience and we're going somewhere most mental health conversations completely skip: the heart.  Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek unpack why mental health has been so brain-centric for so long, what the field of neurocardiology is revealing about the heart's role in how we feel, think, and connect, and why ancient healing traditions were frankly ahead of the curve on all of this. Then they walk through three practical, research-backed heart-centered practices to support your mental health: self-acceptance, loving-kindness, and compassion. Henry also shares a simple, portable exercise called The Three Kindnesses that you can do anywhere, anytime. Whether you've been with us throughout this series or this is your first episode, this one is a great entry point into what Joy Lab is really about.   Try It Free

This is your final invitation! The Joy Lab Program's free 30-day offer ends May 31st — and we want to make sure you know what you're actually being invited into before the door closes. It's not a slick two-and-a-half-hour morning routine. It's not cold plunges or weird concoctions. It's deep, real inner work that often looks a little messy, requires genuine courage and self-compassion, and is worth every bit of the effort. And one of its quieter, underrated gifts: you are not doing it alone. Inside the Joy Lab Program, you're part of a community working on the same experiments, sitting with the same questions, and doing the same hard, worthwhile work together. That matters more than any choreographed wellness performance.   Try It Free

In this episode of the Joy Lab Podcast, Dr. Aimee Prasek and Dr. Henry Emmons dig into one of the most counterintuitive resilience skills we can build: turning toward negative emotions instead of running from them. This isn't about wallowing. It's about befriending the feelings that are already there so they can actually move through you, instead of getting lodged and piling up.  We're talking fear (the emotion at the core of so many others), the science of emotions vs. feelings, why your emotional immune system needs exposure to develop, and three grounded steps (embody, observe, yield) to help you navigate the next emotional flurry before it becomes a blizzard. This one pairs beautifully with our Grief Series (starting at Episode 248) and our last episode on the observer self. Whether you're new to this work or deep in it, there's something here for you.   Try It Free

Dr. Aimee Prasek drops in with a quick Mental Health Awareness Month reminder and Joy Lab's 30-day free offer. Joy Lab has just launched into the Element of Resilience, and there's no better time to join the Program and start doing this work together.   Try It Free

A sensitive content warning: this episode includes discussion of substance addiction, mental health struggles, suicide attempts, and recovery. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger or at risk of harm, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room. The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is available 24/7 in the U.S., call or text 988 to connect with a trained counselor, or use the online chat through the 988 Lifeline. It supports people experiencing suicidal thoughts, emotional distress, mental health crises, and substance use concerns. To honor May being Mental Health Awareness month we invited Drew Motiv to share his story of transformation through addiction, mental health struggles, and surviving suicide attempts, in this episode. Now a motivational speaker and founder of the Divine Family Movement, Drew opens up about the darkest chapters of his life and how he found his way toward healing, self-belief, and purpose. We explore what it truly means to hit rock bottom, the isolation that can come with addiction and recovery, and the difficult work of rebuilding your identity after trauma. Drew reflects on the internal battles he faced, the moments that changed his path, and how he now uses his lived experience to help others feel less alone. Beth and Cathy also talk with Drew about the emotional complexity of recovery, learning to trust yourself again, coping with lingering anxiety and darkness, and turning personal pain into public advocacy. His story is both deeply personal and broadly resonant for anyone navigating mental health challenges, addiction, or the long road back to themselves. In this episode, we discuss: Drew Motiv's journey through addiction and mental health struggles What “rock bottom” looked like in his life Surviving suicide attempts and the emotional aftermath The role of isolation, honesty, and support in recovery Rebuilding trust in yourself after trauma How recovery is not linear Turning painful experiences into purpose-driven advocacy Founding the Divine Family Movement Redefining strength, especially for men facing stigma around vulnerability What Drew wants listeners who are struggling to hear right now If you or someone you know is struggling, please use the resources below.  Drew's Links: Follow Drew Motiv on Instagram @Drew_Motiv divinefamilymovement.com Resources:  Need support? If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room. In the U.S., you can call or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline 24/7. For substance use or mental health treatment referrals, contact SAMHSA's National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357). For text-based crisis support, text HOME to 741741. Veterans and service members can reach the Veterans Crisis Line by calling 988 and pressing 1 or texting 838255. For non-crisis support and local mental health resources, contact NAMI HelpLine at 1-800-950-NAMI (6264) or text NAMI to 62640.  Connect With Us:    Stay tuned for the next new episode of “It Happened To Me”! In the meantime, you can listen to our previous episodes on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, streaming on the website, or any other podcast player by searching, “It Happened To Me”.    “It Happened To Me” is created and hosted by Cathy Gildenhorn and Beth Glassman. DNA Today's Kira Dineen is our executive producer and marketing lead. Amanda Andreoli is our associate producer. Ashlyn Enokian is our graphic designer.   See what else we are up to on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube and our website, ItHappenedToMePod.com. Questions/inquiries can be sent to ItHappenedToMePod@gmail.com. 

May is just around the corner and it's Mental Health Awareness Month. At Joy Lab, we believe awareness alone isn't enough. It's time to actually care for your mental health. So we're offering the full Joy Lab Program free for 30 days (offer ends May 31st). No paywall. No catch. Just a genuine invitation to experiment with more joy. In this episode, Aimee walks through exactly why now is the right moment to try the Program and shares the exciting updates that make this the best version of Joy Lab yet.   Try It Free

We're in our new "month of renewal" format. We're essentially exploring this question throughout the month... what if growth required less effort? This is an encore episode that helps us answer this question. Reminder that we'll be back with new episodes May 1, 2026.  Busyness: society's favorite status symbol and one of resilience's sneakiest enemies. In this episode, Henry Emmons, MD and Aimee Prasek, PhD dig into time poverty — the feeling of having too much to do and never enough time to do it — and unpack why so many of us are stuck in this cycle without even realizing it. Spoiler: it's not just about your calendar. They explore the science of adrenal fatigue, the cultural glorification of overwork, a concept called effort justification, and the fears that keep us moving too fast to feel anything. Plus, a practical, almost embarrassingly simple mindfulness trick to help you wake up to your own life — and a cautionary tale about solitaire. About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, ease anxiety, and uplift mood. Join Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek for practical, mindfulness-based tools and positive psychology strategies to build resilience and create lasting joy. Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with the Joy Lab Program.  If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts! And... if you want to spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free, then please join our mission by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible).   Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram Linkedin YouTube   Full transcript here     Sources and Notes: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life. Episode referenced: Emotional Inertia: Feeling Dull & Disconnected [ep. 207] Annie Dillard's website. Jonathan Gershuny: "Work not leisure, is now the signifier of dominant social status." Closing poem excerpt: Max Ehrmann, "Desiderata"   Key moments: [00:00:00] — Welcome & Episode Introduction Henry and Aimee introduce today's topic: busyness as a resilience-depleting habit and a deeper dive into time poverty. [00:01:00] — What Is Time Poverty? Time poverty defined: the feeling of having too much to do and not enough time to do it. The nuance: it's less about how many activities are on your calendar and more about why you feel so strapped — and what you consider time well spent. [00:02:00] — Stress, Perception, and the Hijacked Sense of Time When we're in a chronic stress state, our nervous system makes it virtually impossible to feel like we have enough time. Aimee sets up a connection to adrenal fatigue and how our perception of time gets distorted under prolonged stress. [00:03:30] — Annie Dillard Quote + The Brick-By-Brick Life Henry brings in writer Annie Dillard: "How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives." The key insight: the days we fill with unconscious busyness aren't separate from our life — they are our life. [00:05:30] — Adrenal Fatigue Explained Henry breaks down adrenal fatigue in plain language — not a lab result, but a state of physiological depletion from sustained high stress. When the system gets pushed too long, motivation crashes, fatigue sets in, and it can look a lot like depression. The takeaway: don't wait until you're running on empty. [00:09:00] — Waking Up to Your Own Life Aimee connects the Dillard quote to Joy Lab's core practice: seeing what is. The bricks you're laying right now are already your foundation — you can't outsource that awareness to some future version of yourself. [00:10:00] — Two Reasons We Resist Slowing Down Henry and Aimee identify the two forces keeping people stuck in chronic busyness: A cultural shift that glorifies work over leisure as a status symbol Fear of the emotions that surface when we stop moving [00:10:30] — The Cultural Glorification of Overwork Sociologist Jonathan Gershuny: "Work — not leisure — is now the signifier of dominant social status." Not productivity, not meaning, not mastery. Just logged hours. Aimee connects this to the founder-sleeping-at-the-office mythology and the phenomenon of effort justification — the false belief that harder or more work must be more meaningful work. [00:12:00] — The Bell Curve of Busyness Not all busyness is bad — in fact, too little challenge has its own negative health outcomes. Henry and Aimee describe the bell curve: there's a sweet spot of productive challenge that supports joy and wellbeing. Both ends of that curve — too little and too much — lead to worse outcomes. [00:13:30] — Fear #1: If I Stop, I'll Sink Henry draws on clinical experience with patients who've had to take time off work. The fear of going from frantic to flat is real — but the antidote is surprisingly modest: one or two structured, meaningful activities per day is often enough. [00:15:30] — Fear #2: Running From Emotions The deeper fear beneath chronic busyness — staying in motion to avoid feelings. Henry reflects honestly on using busyness as an avoidance strategy in his own life. It works... until it doesn't. The way out: learning to turn toward emotions rather than away from them. [00:17:30] — Aimee's Cross-Country Escape (And What Followed) Aimee shares that she moved across the country partly to run from her problems — only to discover that her feelings were faster than a plane ticket. A lighthearted but real reminder: avoidance is portable. [00:19:00] — What Is Time Well Spent? The missing link in the time poverty conversation: most of us haven't actually defined what time well spent means to us personally. Key questions to sit with: What do I want to learn or experience? Who energizes me? What leaves me feeling depleted? [00:20:00] — The Time Log Practice A practical tool: track how you spend your minutes for at least three days, noting both the activity and how you feel during it. Many people discover they have more agency over their time than they thought — and they're often spending that discretionary time on things they don't even enjoy. [00:21:00] — The Solitaire Saga Aimee's honest story about downloading a solitaire game for the warm, nostalgic reasons and spending five stressed-out weeks in a dopamine feedback loop before finally deleting it. The point: unconscious habits have real costs — and awareness is the first step to changing them. [00:25:00] — Henry's Mindfulness Shortcut: Expand or Contract? A deceptively simple real-time mindfulness practice: in any given moment, pause and notice whether your chest or belly feels expanded, contracted, or neutral. No judgment. Just notice. Then — over time — start making choices that move you toward more expansion. [00:27:00] — Closing Reflection + Desiderata Aimee closes with lines from Max Ehrmann's poem Desiderata — a meditation on self-compassion, presence, and trusting that the universe is unfolding as it should.   Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

We're in our new "month of renewal" format. We're essentially exploring this question throughout the month... what if growth required less effort? This is an encore episode that helps us answer this question. Reminder that we'll be back with new episodes May 1, 2026.  In this episode of Joy Lab, Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek dismantle the idea that balance is a fixed destination you arrive at someday — once the laundry is done, the inbox is empty, and the kids are listening. Spoiler: that day is not coming. Instead, Henry and Aimee reframe equanimity as an active, embodied practice — more like balancing on one foot than standing rigidly still. Drawing on the metaphor of the Equinox, the rhythm of the ocean, and the very real signals your nervous system sends when you've overloaded your plate, they offer two practical, evidence-informed strategies: releasing perfectionism and cultivating outer stillness through the radical act of doing less. Whether you're recovering from burnout, drowning in self-help listicles, or just tired of waiting to feel balanced before you start living, this episode is your permission slip to recalibrate — right now, imperfectly, and with grace.   About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, ease anxiety, and uplift mood. Join Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek for practical, mindfulness-based tools and positive psychology strategies to build resilience and create lasting joy. Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with the Joy Lab Program.   If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts! And... if you want to spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free, then please join our mission by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible).   Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram Linkedin Watch this episode on YouTube     Sources and Notes: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life.   Full transcript here   Key moments: [00:01:00] Defining equanimity — calm, serenity, inner peace, and balance Why "balance" is the most relatable word, even if it's overused and under-understood. [00:01:45] The biggest myth about balance: it's a fixed end state Unpacking the belief: "I just need to get my life in balance and then I can…" — and why it keeps failing us. [00:02:45] Balance as a boat on the ocean Waves, storms, narwhals, manatees — navigating it all is the practice. Balance is not the island. [00:03:45] Physical balance as a mirror for life balance Henry reflects on aging, illness, and how something we once took for granted can become a major effort — and what that teaches us. [00:05:30] When life knocks your reserves out — anxiety, depression, significant stress What once seemed doable can feel insurmountable. Normalizing the experience of losing your footing. [00:06:00] The Equinox metaphor for balance Twice a year, day and night are perfectly balanced — and it lasts a moment. Nature doesn't fight the shift. It flows. [00:07:30] Savoring moments of calm and preparing for inevitable shifts The Equinox teaches us to appreciate balance when we find it — and not to be blindsided when it moves on. [00:08:45] Balancing on one foot — balance is in the balancing Aimee reframes physical balance as wobbling, reassessing, and rebalancing — not rigidity. An invitation to ease up on yourself. [00:09:30] Honest check-in: Joy Lab's own season of imbalance Six months of heavy workload, three months of feeling out of balance — and the confidence that recalibration is possible. [00:11:00] Strategy 1: Let go of perfectionism Aimee breaks down how our vision of "balance" is often a vision of impossible perfection — and how that perfectionism causes us to delay our own self-care indefinitely. [00:12:30] How perfectionism anchors the balance myth We stop doing the things that help us recalibrate until we reach a state that never arrives. The invitation to check in and offer yourself grace.   [00:13:45] Strategy 2: Cultivate outer stillness by doing less Henry's personal strategy — and why it runs counter to every "5 Things Highly Productive People Do" headline in your newsfeed. [00:15:30] What the pandemic unexpectedly taught about doing less When life was stripped back, Henry discovered his life could be rich without being packed full. [00:17:00] Why "do less" is the only wellness strategy with nothing to add to your list No gadgets. No hacks. No hooks for perfectionism. Just awareness and the willingness to say no. [00:17:30] Using your body as a navigation app for balance Tuning into the feeling of being rushed and pressured as a signal to change course — no wearable required. [00:19:00] Aimee's body check-in — stomach tension as a balance metric Instead of opening another listicle, go inward. Your nervous system is already telling you what you need. [00:20:00] We are balanced creatures when we allow ourselves to be Balance isn't about biohacking or concoctions. It's inner stillness and inner wisdom — skills we can all build. [00:21:00] Joy Lab Program and community support A reminder that the podcast is community-supported — and an invitation to go deeper in the Joy Lab Program. [00:21:45] Closing quote from Anna Quindlen     Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

We're in our new "month of renewal" format. We're essentially exploring this question throughout the month... what if growth required less effort? This is an encore episode that helps us answer this question. Reminder that we'll be back with new episodes May 1, 2026.  Solitude and fun in the same sentence? Stick with us. In this episode, we'll explore how intentional alone time — free from devices, distractions, and the pressure to perform happiness — can actually be one of the most powerful tools for mental wellness and, yes, even joy. From the neuroscience of arousal states to Trappist monks in rural Iowa, this one is equal parts science and soul.   About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, ease anxiety, and uplift mood. Join Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek for practical, mindfulness-based tools and positive psychology strategies to build resilience and create lasting joy. Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with the Joy Lab Program.   If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts! And... if you want to spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free, then please join our mission by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible).   Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram Linkedin Watch on YouTube   Full transcript here   Sources and Notes: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life.  Podcast episodes referenced:   #73 Lonely in crowded places (this isn't a country music song) (this is the episode that originally played before this one) #28 Common Humanity vs Isolation Related podcast episodes: #72 Blame-It, Overanalyze-It, Should-It, & Separate (BOSS Dominoes) #71 Uncovering Your Playful Nature (guided meditation) #70 Update and Special [Super fun!] Replay #19 The Power of Play: Clocks vs Clouds and Taming Your Wild Things  National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine. 2020. Social Isolation and Loneliness in Older Adults: Opportunities for the Health Care System. https://doi.org/10.17226/25663 Loneliness and Social Isolation Linked to Serious Health Conditions Brain systems underlying the affective and social monitoring of actions: An integrative review How BIS/BAS and psycho-behavioral variables distinguish between social withdrawal subtypes during emerging adulthood Solitude as an Approach to Affective Self-Regulation What Time Alone Offers: Narratives of Solitude From Adolescence to Older Adulthood The Handbook of Solitude: Psychological Perspectives on Social Isolation, Social Withdrawal, and Being Alone, Second Edition Descartes' Meditations Maya Angelou's website    Key moments: [00:01:00] — Defining Solitude Aimee offers a working definition: solitude is the voluntary experience of being alone, without devices or stimuli pulling attention away from oneself. Key distinction: solitude feels full, while loneliness feels like lack. [00:02:30] — Solitude vs. Loneliness: A Useful Parallel Henry draws a parallel between solitude/loneliness and grief/depression — experiences that may look similar on the surface but lead to very different outcomes. Healthy solitude, like healthy grief, can free and open us up. [00:05:00] — Obstacles to Solitude: Social Pressure Aimee calls out the cultural pressure to be perpetually social. In US culture, extroversion is rewarded, "table for one" is framed as sad, and choosing alone time can feel like going against the grain of good mental health — even though meaningful solitude actually supports it. [00:06:30] — The Paradox of American Individualism Henry reflects on how a culture that prizes individualism can simultaneously use constant social activity as a defense against the loneliness that individualism breeds — a potential downward spiral. [00:07:00] — Solitude as the Outbreath: Rhythm and Nature Drawing from his resilience retreat work, Henry introduces the breath as a metaphor for healthy life rhythm: activity needs rest, stress needs recovery, depletion needs renewal. Solitude, he suggests, is the outbreath after the inbreath of companionship and extroversion. [00:09:00] — Descartes on Peaceful Solitude Aimee shares a passage from Descartes' Meditations on the freedom solitude offers — a chance to release rigid opinions and find spaciousness. [00:10:00] — The Neuroscience: Arousal States Explained Aimee breaks down the arousal state spectrum — from deep sleep (lowest) to stress and agitation (highest) — and explains why US culture's incentivizing of high arousal states keeps our nervous systems chronically buzzing. [00:11:00] — High Arousal Positive Affect & Toxic Positivity A nuanced look at the cultural pressure to display high-energy happiness — "high energy on top of high energy" — and why that contributes to nervous system overload and, in Aimee's view, is where toxic positivity lives. [00:12:00] — Low Arousal States and the Healing Power of Solitude Research on how solitude can bring us into lower arousal states — awake, at ease, peaceful — and why that matters for overall balance. Aimee notes that individual differences matter: some people may actually need more activation, not less. [00:14:00] — Henry's Story: Trappist Monks and Medical Training Henry shares how the chronic high-arousal state of his medical and psychiatric training led him to a Trappist monastery in rural Iowa — with no prior knowledge of Catholicism or contemplative practice. He found daily rhythms of work and contemplation, centering prayer (similar to mindfulness meditation), and came out renewed. [00:17:30] — You Don't Need a Monastery Solitude doesn't require a silent retreat or foraging your own food in a cave (though that's an option). It can be 15 minutes in the garden — including relocating a very fat caterpillar eating your parsley. [00:19:30] — What Solitude Can Look Like for You Henry shares his current practice: time in nature when possible, journaling, quiet reflection on what feeds him and what steals his joy. Not productivity — sometimes a crossword or simply zoning out. A.A. Milne gets a well-earned cameo. [00:21:30] — What You'll Find in the Quiet Henry's invitation to those new to solitude: it may feel daunting, but what you'll encounter beneath the surface is worth it. "It's all love." [00:22:30] — Closing Wisdom: Maya Angelou on Solitude Aimee closes with a passage from Maya Angelou on solitude as a desirable condition — a space to listen to yourself, describe yourself to yourself, and hear something deeper.   Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

This is it — the finale of our 10-part series on grief, and we're closing with a Gate that might be the most quietly powerful one yet: Other. That's right, the catchall. The one that says: if your loss doesn't fit neatly into a framework, it still counts. If you're feeling it, it counts. Losses that fall into this category include: Identity shifts, infertility, retirement, faded friendships, the life you thought you'd have — and anything else. We also reflect on the full arc of the series, sharing four essential takeaways about grief, and perhaps most importantly, making the case that grief and joy aren't opposites. They're companions. And working with one deepens your capacity for both. If you've been putting off your grief because it seemed too small, too strange, or too hard to explain to anyone else — this episode is your permission slip. This episode is part of a 10-part series on grief. You can jump in here and circle back to Episode 248 when you're ready.   p.s. Find a Simple Joy practice for this episode right here at our blog.   About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, ease anxiety, and uplift mood. Join Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek for practical, mindfulness-based tools and positive psychology strategies to build resilience and create lasting joy. Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with the Joy Lab Program.   If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts! And... if you want to spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free, then please join our mission by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible).   Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram TikTok Linkedin Watch on YouTube   Key moments: [00:00:00] — This is the final episode of Joy Lab's 10-part Grief Series, beginning with episode 248. Overview of the framework: Francis Weller's Five Gates of Grief, with additional gates from other practitioners. [00:01:00] — Introducing the Ninth Gate: Other. Examples include: identity transitions, infertility, miscarriage, abortion, aging, retirement, relocating, faded friendships, missed opportunities, a diagnosis. The message of this Gate: your grief is valid, even if it doesn't fit a category. [00:02:00] — Why the "Other" Gate matters: it gives permission to grieve things we didn't think were grievable. Henry reflects on grief he carried about the life he imagined for his later years. Sometimes the losses that linger longest are the ones we felt we weren't allowed to name. [00:03:00] — The Ninth Gate as permission: no framework, however good, can contain all of grief. If it feels like a loss, it is a loss. This Gate honors grief's vastness and individuality. [00:04:00] — Connecting grief to our Element of Joy for this month: Equanimity. Real equanimity isn't about avoiding highs and lows — it includes grief.  [00:05:00] — Real equanimity is the ability to stay present with whatever's happening — joy, fear, sorrow, love — without being swept away. Grief can be a storm, but we can learn to work with it rather than be destroyed by it. [00:06:00] — How grief becomes workable: by practicing with smaller emotions when they're less overwhelming, we build capacity. Touching grief lightly, letting it move through — that's how the storm becomes survivable. The whole series has been about building exactly this capacity. [00:07:00] — Four Key Takeaways from the Grief Series: Takeaway 1: Grief is not a problem to solve or something to get over. It's a natural response to loss — and loss is part of living. Takeaway 2: Grief is communal. Billions of people are working with these gates. You are not alone. Takeaway 3: Grief is a skill we have to practice — consistent, regular grief-hygiene rituals help us work with frequent losses before they accumulate. The small "Other" griefs percolating in the background? Name them. Work with them. That's great training. Takeaway 4: Grief isn't just about death or obvious losses. Curiosity about how loss touches us is itself a powerful mental health skill. When we're willing to see and hold our losses, we can also see and hold the love around us — and within us. [00:09:00] — The gifts of grief, Part 1: Henry reflects on what this series — and his own prolonged experience of grief — has given him. Grief opens us to compassion. When you've been through real loss, you recognize it in others. You understand their struggle at a level you couldn't before. That's profound connection. [00:10:00] — The gifts of grief, Part 2: Grief brings wisdom. You learn what really matters. You stop wasting time on what doesn't. Henry shares something personal: "I am more tender now. More permeable. I feel things more deeply." And because of that, he's more open to joy — because you can't close yourself off to pain without also closing yourself off to beauty, love, and wonder. [00:11:00] — Grief and joy are not opposites — they're companions. The deeper your capacity for grief, the deeper your capacity for joy. Both require an open heart. Henry's closing encouragement: "Don't be afraid of grief. Let it be your teacher. Let it make you more of who you really are." [00:12:00] — Closing wisdom from Kahlil Gibran: "The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain."   Full transcipt here   Sources and Notes for this full grief series: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life.  Grief Series: The Grief Series: The Wholeness of Being Human [part 1, ep 248] Everything We Love, We Will Lose: Navigating the First Gate of Grief[part 2, ep 249] Welcoming Back the Parts of You That Have Not Known Love [part 3, ep 250] Why You Can't Escape the Sorrows of the World (and why that's a good thing) [part 4, ep 251] Born to Belong: Grieving What Should Have Been There From the Start [part 5, ep 252] Breaking the Cycle: Ancestral Grief, Epigenetics, and the Power to Change Your Legacy [part 6, ep 253] How Facing the Harm You've Done Can Set You Free [part 7, ep 254] How the World's Pain Enters Your Body and What to Do Next [part 8, ep 255] Related Episodes: Savoring the Present and Overcoming FOBO (it's kinda like FOMO...) [ep 45] Wild Edge of Sorrow by Francis Weller The Four Things That Matter Most by Ira Byock, M.D.  Beckes & Sbarra, Social baseline theory: State of the science and new directions. Access here Beckes, et al. (2011). Social Baseline Theory: The Role of Social Proximity in Emotion and Economy of Action. Access here Bunea et al. (2017). Early-life adversity and cortisol response to social stress: a meta-analysis. Access here. Eisma, et al. (2019). No pain, no gain: cross-lagged analyses of posttraumatic growth and anxiety, depression, posttraumatic stress and prolonged grief symptoms after loss. Access here  Hirschberger G. (2018). Collective Trauma an d the Social Construction of Meaning. Frontiers in psychology, 9, 1441. Access here   Kamis, et al. (2024). Childhood maltreatment associated with adolescent peer networks: Withdrawal, avoidance, and fragmentation. Access here  Lehrner, et al. (2014). Maternal PTSD associates with greater glucocorticoid sensitivity in offspring of Holocaust survivors. Access here  Maier & Seligman. (2016). Learned helplessness at fifty: Insights from neuroscience. Access here Sheehy, et al. (2019). An examination of the relationship between shame, guilt and self-harm: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Access here  Strathearn, et al. (2020). Long-term Cognitive, Psychological, and Health Outcomes Associated With Child Abuse and Neglect. Access here  Yehuda et al. (1998). Vulnerability to posttraumatic stress disorder in adult offspring of Holocaust survivors.  Access here. Yehuda, et al. (2018). Intergenerational transmission of trauma effects: putative role of epigenetic mechanisms. Access here    Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

Grief doesn't wait for loss to arrive. Sometimes it shows up early — sitting beside you while someone you love is still right there. That's anticipatory grief, and if you've ever felt your mind drift to a future without someone while they're still in the room, you already know it. In this episode of Joy Lab, Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek explore the Eighth Gate of Grief: the grief, stress, anxiety, and dread that can accompany an expected loss — whether that's a terminal diagnosis, a parent's cognitive decline, a marriage ending, or even broader fears about the world your kids will inherit. Anticipatory grief can be a mentally and emotionally exhausting experience, and it doesn't get nearly enough airtime in conversations about mental health. Importantly, this episode won't tell you how to stop anticipatory grief — because you shouldn't. Research suggests it can actually support healing. What it will give you: science-backed tools for staying present, a simple framework for saying what matters most before it's too late, and honest guidance on sustaining yourself through anticipatory grief. If anxiety, depression, or stress around future loss is weighing on you — or someone you love — this one's for you. This episode is part of a 10-part series on grief. You can jump in here and circle back to Episode 248 when you're ready.   p.s. Find a Simple Joy practice for this episode right here at our blog.   About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, ease anxiety, and uplift mood. Join Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek for practical, mindfulness-based tools and positive psychology strategies to build resilience and create lasting joy. Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with the Joy Lab Program.   If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts! And... if you want to spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free, then please join our mission by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible).   Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram TikTok Linkedin Watch on YouTube   Key moments: [00:00] — Introduction to the Eighth Gate: Anticipatory Grief [00:45] — What anticipatory grief is: the grief we feel in advance of an expected loss — terminal illness, dementia, a marriage ending, fears about the future of our planet or our children's world [01:00] — The extra "frosting" of this gate: dread, helplessness, and worry about what hasn't happened yet [01:15] — Anticipatory grief and cancer [02:30] — Anticipatory grief and Alzheimer's [04:00] — "We are apprentices to our grief, every time" — on never mastering grief, only practicing it [05:00] — FOBO: Fear Of Being Over — an earlier Joy Lab concept that connects to anticipatory grief and the pull away from the present moment [05:45] — Normalizing anticipatory grief: the goal is not to stop it, but to understand it [06:15] — The science: research on anticipatory grief shows it can actually be helpful — those who grieved some before a spouse died tended to have better outcomes afterward [07:30] — The void that often hits a month after a loss, when others return to their lives; how anticipatory grieving can build a support network that remains [08:00] — Anticipatory grief and early-onset Alzheimer's [13:45] — What anticipatory grief is really about: acceptance; facing truth instead of pushing it away [14:15] — Recognizing avoidance  [14:45] — Anticipatory grief as a gift: time to say what needs to be said, to be present differently, to love fully even while grieving [15:15] — Practicing loving fully amidst grief; being kind to yourself about grieving while the person is still present; holding both the grief of the future and the goodness of the present — they can happen at the same time [16:45] — The Four Things That Matter Most (Dr. Ira Byock, hospice physician): Please forgive me. I forgive you. Thank you. I love you. [17:15] — Why saying these things — even imperfectly — creates completion and reduces regret [19:15] — The gift anticipatory grief offers that sudden loss cannot: the chance to share grief with someone, say the four things, have the conversation together [20:00] — Tending to your own wellbeing during anticipatory grief; checking your energy and nourishment levels; you have to take breaks, let people help, do nourishing things for yourself — it's not selfish, it's sustainable [21:45] — Small ways to refuel: a walk, a phone call, sitting outside, noticing breath; don't wait until you're depleted — build it in now; Letting people support you; they often want to help but don't know how — be specific; "Can you bring dinner Tuesday? Can you sit with her while I go to the store?" [22:30] — Anticipatory grief is a marathon, not a sprint; pace yourself; stepping back to breathe and enjoy lightness is not denial — it's wisdom [23:30] — Closing quote from Rilke: "Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final."   Sources and Notes for this full grief series: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life.  Grief Series: The Grief Series: The Wholeness of Being Human [part 1, ep 248] Everything We Love, We Will Lose: Navigating the First Gate of Grief[part 2, ep 249] Welcoming Back the Parts of You That Have Not Known Love [part 3, ep 250] Why You Can't Escape the Sorrows of the World (and why that's a good thing) [part 4, ep 251] Born to Belong: Grieving What Should Have Been There From the Start [part 5, ep 252] Breaking the Cycle: Ancestral Grief, Epigenetics, and the Power to Change Your Legacy [part 6, ep 253] How Facing the Harm You've Done Can Set You Free [part 7, ep 254] How the World's Pain Enters Your Body and What to Do Next [part 8, ep 255] Related Episodes: Savoring the Present and Overcoming FOBO (it's kinda like FOMO...) [ep 45] Wild Edge of Sorrow by Francis Weller The Four Things That Matter Most by Ira Byock, M.D.  Beckes & Sbarra, Social baseline theory: State of the science and new directions. Access here Beckes, et al. (2011). Social Baseline Theory: The Role of Social Proximity in Emotion and Economy of Action. Access here Bunea et al. (2017). Early-life adversity and cortisol response to social stress: a meta-analysis. Access here. Eisma, et al. (2019). No pain, no gain: cross-lagged analyses of posttraumatic growth and anxiety, depression, posttraumatic stress and prolonged grief symptoms after loss. Access here  Hirschberger G. (2018). Collective Trauma an d the Social Construction of Meaning. Frontiers in psychology, 9, 1441. Access here   Kamis, et al. (2024). Childhood maltreatment associated with adolescent peer networks: Withdrawal, avoidance, and fragmentation. Access here  Lehrner, et al. (2014). Maternal PTSD associates with greater glucocorticoid sensitivity in offspring of Holocaust survivors. Access here  Maier & Seligman. (2016). Learned helplessness at fifty: Insights from neuroscience. Access here Sheehy, et al. (2019). An examination of the relationship between shame, guilt and self-harm: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Access here  Strathearn, et al. (2020). Long-term Cognitive, Psychological, and Health Outcomes Associated With Child Abuse and Neglect. Access here  Yehuda et al. (1998). Vulnerability to posttraumatic stress disorder in adult offspring of Holocaust survivors.  Access here. Yehuda, et al. (2018). Intergenerational transmission of trauma effects: putative role of epigenetic mechanisms. Access here  Full transcript here  Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

Grief doesn't only come from what happens to us directly. In this episode of our Grief Series, we'll look through the Seventh Gate: Trauma — specifically collective trauma and secondary (vicarious) trauma. We'll break down what these are, how they physically land in your body, what the Window of Tolerance really means for your day-to-day life, and what to do when you find yourself overwhelmed by stress. We'll explore super helpful theories like the tend-and-befriend stress response, the power of your hope circuit, the eternal wisdom of finding the Middle Way, and practical guidance for navigating a world that can feel relentlessly heavy. This episode is part of a 10-part series on grief. You can jump in here and circle back to Episode 248 when you're ready.   p.s. Find a Simple Joy practice for this episode right here at our blog.   About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, ease anxiety, and uplift mood. Join Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek for practical, mindfulness-based tools and positive psychology strategies to build resilience and create lasting joy. Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with the Joy Lab Program.   If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts! And... if you want to spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free, then please join our mission by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible).   Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram TikTok Linkedin Watch on YouTube   Key moments: [00:00] — Introduce the Seventh Gate: Trauma [00:48] — A gentle reminder to listen with care [01:30] — Defining collective trauma: shared psychological impact affecting communities, societies, and the globe; examples include COVID, 9/11, mass shootings, natural disasters, and chronic collective traumas like racism and classism [02:00] — Defining secondary trauma / vicarious trauma: how negative effects occur through hearing accounts, watching videos, 24/7 news exposure; not uncommon in caregivers, healthcare workers, therapists, and first responders [03:30] — Why the brain doesn't always distinguish direct from indirect trauma; secondary trauma can produce symptoms identical to direct trauma; we are wired to survive in communities [04:00] — The losses this gate surfaces: safety, trust in institutions, community connection, shared understanding, and moral injuries [05:00] — Linda Thai's definition of trauma: "what happened that shouldn't have, and what should have happened that didn't" — and why the second half matters just as much [06:30] — Minnesota ICE surge reflection; what was missing that could have softened the trauma; community connection as a powerfully protective presence [07:45] — The tend-and-befriend stress response and why it's especially suited to collective grief [08:40] — Physical symptoms of collective trauma: brain fog, sleep problems, appetite changes, jumpiness, physical tension, digestive issues [09:20] — How collective stress lowers individual stress tolerance; why the tend-and-befriend response is so adaptive here [09:50] — Dan Siegel's Window of Tolerance introduced: the zone for healthy stress response; why collective trauma shrinks the window [10:20] — What happens outside the window: hyperarousal and hypoarousal introduced [11:00] — Deep dive on hyperarousal: panic, racing thoughts, anger, hypervigilance; why narrow focus is counterproductive; how sustained overactivation overwhelms the nervous system [13:00] — Hypoarousal: numbness, flatness, disconnection, apathy, brain fog; the freeze/"bite" stress response as protective feature, not personal failure; the COVID grocery bag arc [14:30] — Gentle activation strategies for moving out of hypoarousal: small movements, mindful breathing, connecting with safe people, small accomplishments [15:30] — Learned helplessness reexamined: the original researchers got it backward — helplessness is the brain's default, not something learned [16:00] — The Hope Circuit: prefrontal cortex overrides the helplessness default when actions are seen to matter; cross-stressor effect of agency [16:40] — What agency looks like in practice: self-talk, social connections, information choices, body care, small service acts, values [17:30] — Henry's activating-to-calming spectrum; using the Middle Way framework to self-regulate within the Window of Tolerance [18:30] — What to do when you've gone outside the window: micro-changes, one small choice at a time; deep rest when needed [20:10] — Balance is not a destination; the goal is not to eliminate stress responses but to navigate them more skillfully [21:15] — Self-care during collective trauma enables wise collective action [21:45] — Closing wisdom from Clarissa Pinkola Estés on standing up and showing your soul   Sources and Notes for this full grief series: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life.  Grief Series: The Grief Series: The Wholeness of Being Human [part 1, ep 248] Everything We Love, We Will Lose: Navigating the First Gate of Grief[part 2, ep 249] Welcoming Back the Parts of You That Have Not Known Love [part 3, ep 250] Why You Can't Escape the Sorrows of the World (and why that's a good thing) [part 4, ep 251] Born to Belong: Grieving What Should Have Been There From the Start [part 5, ep 252] Breaking the Cycle: Ancestral Grief, Epigenetics, and the Power to Change Your Legacy [part 6, ep 253] How Facing the Harm You've Done Can Set You Free [part 7, ep 254] Wild Edge of Sorrow by Francis Weller Linda Thai's website Dan Siegel's website Clarissa Pinkola Estés' website Beckes & Sbarra, Social baseline theory: State of the science and new directions. Access here Beckes, et al. (2011). Social Baseline Theory: The Role of Social Proximity in Emotion and Economy of Action. Access here Bunea et al. (2017). Early-life adversity and cortisol response to social stress: a meta-analysis. Access here. Eisma, et al. (2019). No pain, no gain: cross-lagged analyses of posttraumatic growth and anxiety, depression, posttraumatic stress and prolonged grief symptoms after loss. Access here  Hirschberger G. (2018). Collective Trauma an d the Social Construction of Meaning. Frontiers in psychology, 9, 1441. Access here   Kamis, et al. (2024). Childhood maltreatment associated with adolescent peer networks: Withdrawal, avoidance, and fragmentation. Access here  Lehrner, et al. (2014). Maternal PTSD associates with greater glucocorticoid sensitivity in offspring of Holocaust survivors. Access here  Maier & Seligman. (2016). Learned helplessness at fifty: Insights from neuroscience. Access here Sheehy, et al. (2019). An examination of the relationship between shame, guilt and self-harm: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Access here  Strathearn, et al. (2020). Long-term Cognitive, Psychological, and Health Outcomes Associated With Child Abuse and Neglect. Access here  Yehuda et al. (1998). Vulnerability to posttraumatic stress disorder in adult offspring of Holocaust survivors.  Access here. Yehuda, et al. (2018). Intergenerational transmission of trauma effects: putative role of epigenetic mechanisms. Access here    Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

In this episode of Joy Lab, we'll explore the Sixth Gate of Grief: the grief we carry for harm done to ourselves and others. We'll draw on the expanded framework of Francis Weller's gates of grief to unpack why this gate is one of the most challenging and most liberating to work with. It's important to note that this isn't about guilt-tripping or self-flagellation. It's about honest reckoning, releasing unconscious burdens, and reclaiming inner freedom. Because grief (not shame) is what actually moves us toward healing, repair, and becoming people who cause less harm.   This episode is part of a 10-part series on grief. You can jump in here and circle back to Episode 248 when you're ready.   p.s. Find a Simple Joy practice for this episode right here at our blog.   About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, ease anxiety, and uplift mood. Join Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek for practical, mindfulness-based tools and positive psychology strategies to build resilience and create lasting joy.   If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts! And... if you want to spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free, then please join our mission by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible).   Full transcript available here   Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram TikTok Linkedin Watch on YouTube   Key moments: [00:00:00] — Sixth Gate: Grief for Harm Done, popularized by Sophy Banks and Azul Thomé alongside Weller's original framework. [00:01:00] — What this gate includes: harmful thought patterns like corrosive self-talk, choices that felt necessary but caused harm, inaction when we could have intervened, and participation in collective harms like racism, classism, ableism, and environmental destruction. [00:02:00] — A critical disclaimer: this gate asks us to see these harms — not soak in them. Grief is meant to flow through us, not become a stagnant pool. Henry emphasizes the difference between grieving well and getting stuck. [00:03:30] — Three reasons this gate is especially challenging: (1) the scope of harm we participate in is nearly infinite; (2) the thin line between acknowledging harm and collapsing into shame and guilt; (3) the defensiveness this topic can trigger — and how to touch that lightly and let it go. [00:05:00] — This is about inner freedom, not atonement. Genuine inner freedom requires an honest look at how we affect those around us. [00:05:30] — Aimee and Henry on the word releasing vs. "getting over it." You can leap over a thing and still be carrying it. Releasing requires first being able to see what's there. [00:06:00] — Quote from Sabaa Tahir: two kinds of guilt — the kind that drowns you until you're useless, and the kind that fires your soul to purpose. Working with grief can move us from one to the other. [00:06:30] — Introduction of moral injury: the psychological wound that comes from betraying our own values, or witnessing others do it. Research shows moral injury is more strongly associated with PTSD symptoms than direct exposure to danger. [00:07:30] — Moral injury shows up everywhere — not just in war. Healthcare rationing, kids being detained, someone cutting you off in traffic. Untended grief in this gate can mean we snap at small things because they echo larger unprocessed wounds. [00:09:00] — Henry: grief helps us heal these deep, often invisible wounds. [00:10:00] — How harm to others haunts us for years, even decades. As social creatures, we're wired to repair harm and strengthen bonds. When we don't act, buried harm turns into guilt and shame — and shame isolates. Grief, by contrast, calls us into community and toward repair. [00:11:00] — Autoimmune disease analogy: shame is the emotional equivalent of an immune system attacking itself. A healthy response addresses the problem; an overreaction causes more damage than the original harm. [00:13:00] — Turning to harms we cause ourselves: negative self-talk, lifestyle choices, addictions. No matter the cause, we deserve healing from it. The challenge: in this case, we are both perpetrator and victim. [00:14:00] — Grief opens us up rather than closing us down. It can hold both the hurt experienced and the compassion for causing that pain. [00:14:30] — Connection to post-traumatic growth: not about psychological comfort, but awakening. Grief is the ride between pain and gain — and there's no bypassing it. [00:15:00] — Henry on the role of equanimity (this month's Element of Joy): balance is what allows us to hold two seemingly opposing truths at once. You fully acknowledge the harm and hold yourself with compassion. Neither minimizing nor drowning. [00:16:30] — Quote from Sister Helen Prejean (Dead Man Walking): "People are more than the worst thing they've done." The goal isn't no harm — it's less harm. And believing that you are more than your worst moment fosters humility, compassion, and healing that ripples outward to others. [00:17:30] — Preview of the next episode: the Seventh Gate — Trauma, and how grief and trauma intersect in the work of healing. [00:17:45] — Closing wisdom from Maya Angelou: "Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better."   Sources and Notes for this full grief series: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life.  Grief Series: The Grief Series: The Wholeness of Being Human [part 1, ep 248] Everything We Love, We Will Lose: Navigating the First Gate of Grief[part 2, ep 249] Welcoming Back the Parts of You That Have Not Known Love [part 3, ep 250] Why You Can't Escape the Sorrows of the World (and why that's a good thing) [part 4, ep 251] Born to Belong: Grieving What Should Have Been There From the Start [part 5, ep 252] Breaking the Cycle: Ancestral Grief, Epigenetics, and the Power to Change Your Legacy [part 6, ep 253] Wild Edge of Sorrow by Francis Weller Sabaa Tahir's website Beckes & Sbarra, Social baseline theory: State of the science and new directions. Access here Beckes, et al. (2011). Social Baseline Theory: The Role of Social Proximity in Emotion and Economy of Action. Access here Bunea et al. (2017). Early-life adversity and cortisol response to social stress: a meta-analysis. Access here. Eisma, et al. (2019). No pain, no gain: cross-lagged analyses of posttraumatic growth and anxiety, depression, posttraumatic stress and prolonged grief symptoms after loss. Access here  Kamis, et al. (2024). Childhood maltreatment associated with adolescent peer networks: Withdrawal, avoidance, and fragmentation. Access here  Lehrner, et al. (2014). Maternal PTSD associates with greater glucocorticoid sensitivity in offspring of Holocaust survivors. Access here  Hirschberger G. (2018). Collective Trauma an d the Social Construction of Meaning. Frontiers in psychology, 9, 1441. Access here  Sheehy, et al. (2019). An examination of the relationship between shame, guilt and self-harm: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Access here  Strathearn, et al. (2020). Long-term Cognitive, Psychological, and Health Outcomes Associated With Child Abuse and Neglect. Access here  Yehuda et al. (1998). Vulnerability to posttraumatic stress disorder in adult offspring of Holocaust survivors.  Access here. Yehuda, et al. (2018). Intergenerational transmission of trauma effects: putative role of epigenetic mechanisms. Access here    Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

What if some of the grief you carry isn't entirely yours? In this episode we'll open what Francis Weller identified as the Fifth Gate of Grief: ancestral grief. We're talking about the unacknowledged, untended sorrows of those who came before us: lost languages, severed connections to land and ritual, collective traumas like war, displacement, and genocide. But we're also talking about the science; specifically, epigenetics and how it can help explain how those experiences literally get woven into our biology and passed down through generations, even when we don't know the stories. The good news? What gets passed down can also be healed. You don't have to carry rancid snacks in your backpack forever (you'll get that reference when you listen). And this gate, like all the others, ultimately opens into something more expansive — resilience, power, and the steady ground of equanimity. This episode is part of a 10-part series on grief. You can jump in here and circle back to Episode 248 when you're ready.   p.s. Find a Simple Joy practice for this episode right here at our blog.  About: The Joy Lab Podcast blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, ease anxiety, and uplift mood. Join Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek for practical, mindfulness-based tools and positive psychology strategies to build resilience and create lasting joy. If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts! And... if you want to spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free, then please join our mission by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible).   Full transcript here   Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram TikTok Linkedin Watch on YouTube   Sources and Notes for this full grief series: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life.  Grief Series: The Grief Series: The Wholeness of Being Human [part 1, ep 248] Everything We Love, We Will Lose: Navigating the First Gate of Grief[part 2, ep 249] Welcoming Back the Parts of You That Have Not Known Love [part 3, ep 250] Why You Can't Escape the Sorrows of the World (and why that's a good thing) [part 4, ep 251] Born to Belong: Grieving What Should Have Been There From the Start [part 5, ep 252] Wild Edge of Sorrow by Francis Weller  "Something magical happens when we bear witness to each other in grief. Something alchemical. It transmutes the lead of our devastation into the gold of connection. Our own compassion is activated. Our souls are soothed. The narrow circle of our private pain expands and we recognize that we belong to each other. We take our rightful place in the web of interbeing and find refuge." -Mirabai Starr Beckes & Sbarra, Social baseline theory: State of the science and new directions. Access here Beckes, et al. (2011). Social Baseline Theory: The Role of Social Proximity in Emotion and Economy of Action. Access here Bunea et al. (2017). Early-life adversity and cortisol response to social stress: a meta-analysis. Access here. Eisma, et al. (2019). No pain, no gain: cross-lagged analyses of posttraumatic growth and anxiety, depression, posttraumatic stress and prolonged grief symptoms after loss. Access here  Kamis, et al. (2024). Childhood maltreatment associated with adolescent peer networks: Withdrawal, avoidance, and fragmentation. Access here  Lehrner, et al. (2014). Maternal PTSD associates with greater glucocorticoid sensitivity in offspring of Holocaust survivors. Access here  Hirschberger G. (2018). Collective Trauma an d the Social Construction of Meaning. Frontiers in psychology, 9, 1441. Access here  Sheehy, et al. (2019). An examination of the relationship between shame, guilt and self-harm: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Access here  Strathearn, et al. (2020). Long-term Cognitive, Psychological, and Health Outcomes Associated With Child Abuse and Neglect. Access here  Yehuda et al. (1998). Vulnerability to posttraumatic stress disorder in adult offspring of Holocaust survivors.  Access here. Yehuda, et al. (2018). Intergenerational transmission of trauma effects: putative role of epigenetic mechanisms. Access here    Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

What if the loss you're carrying doesn't have a name — no death, no disaster, just a quiet, persistent ache that something was always missing? In this episode of Joy Lab, we'll look at Gate Four of our grief series: What We Expected But Did Not Receive. Drawing from Francis Weller's The Wild Edge of Sorrow, we'll explore the grief that comes from never being fully welcomed, seen, or celebrated for exactly who you are — a loss so subtle it often masquerades as personal failure. This episode offers a deeply compassionate and scientifically grounded look at why so many of us feel vaguely unfulfilled and how we can actually do something about it. Spoiler: it starts with grieving what you were owed. This episode is part of a 10-part series on grief. You can jump in here and circle back to Episode 248 when you're ready.   p.s. Find a Simple Joy practice for this episode right here at our blog.   About: The Joy Lab Podcast blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, ease anxiety, and uplift mood. Join Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek for practical, mindfulness-based tools and positive psychology strategies to build resilience and create lasting joy.   If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts! And... if you want to spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free, then please join our mission by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible).   Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram TikTok Linkedin Watch on YouTube   Full transcript here   Sources and Notes for this full grief series: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life.  Grief Series: Why We're Doing a 10-Part Series on Grief (And Why You Need It) [part 1, ep 248] Everything We Love, We Will Lose: Navigating the First Gate of Grief[part 2, ep 249] Welcoming Back the Parts of You That Have Not Known Love [part 3, ep 250] Why You Can't Escape the Sorrows of the World (and why that's a good thing) [part 4, ep 251] Imposter phenomenon series: Imposter Syndrome is a Myth (ep. 175) What Imposter Syndrome Really Is (ep. 176)  Backdraft: When Being Good to Yourself Feels Bad (ep. 29) Wild Edge of Sorrow by Francis Weller  "Something magical happens when we bear witness to each other in grief. Something alchemical. It transmutes the lead of our devastation into the gold of connection. Our own compassion is activated. Our souls are soothed. The narrow circle of our private pain expands and we recognize that we belong to each other. We take our rightful place in the web of interbeing and find refuge." -Mirabai Starr Beckes & Sbarra, Social baseline theory: State of the science and new directions. Access here Beckes, et al. (2011). Social Baseline Theory: The Role of Social Proximity in Emotion and Economy of Action. Access here Bunea et al. (2017). Early-life adversity and cortisol response to social stress: a meta-analysis. Access here. Eisma, et al. (2019). No pain, no gain: cross-lagged analyses of posttraumatic growth and anxiety, depression, posttraumatic stress and prolonged grief symptoms after loss. Access here  Kamis, et al. (2024). Childhood maltreatment associated with adolescent peer networks: Withdrawal, avoidance, and fragmentation. Access here  Lehrner, et al. (2014). Maternal PTSD associates with greater glucocorticoid sensitivity in offspring of Holocaust survivors. Access here  Hirschberger G. (2018). Collective Trauma an d the Social Construction of Meaning. Frontiers in psychology, 9, 1441. Access here  Sheehy, et al. (2019). An examination of the relationship between shame, guilt and self-harm: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Access here  Strathearn, et al. (2020). Long-term Cognitive, Psychological, and Health Outcomes Associated With Child Abuse and Neglect. Access here  Yehuda et al. (1998). Vulnerability to posttraumatic stress disorder in adult offspring of Holocaust survivors.  Access here. Yehuda, et al. (2018). Intergenerational transmission of trauma effects: putative role of epigenetic mechanisms. Access here    Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

We're diving deep into Francis Weller's third gate of grief: the sorrows of the world. This gate reminds us that collective losses like wars, violence, injustice, and environmental destruction impact us whether we acknowledge them or not. We are interdependent beings, wired for connection, and when we try to shut down our caring to protect ourselves, we sacrifice our capacity for joy, flexibility, and resilience. The challenge is to trust our intuitive drive to care and connect, even when it feels uncomfortable. We'll offer some practical strategies to meet that challenge and to help you stay open to collective grief without being overwhelmed by it. CONTENT WARNING: This episode discusses gun violence. About: The Joy Lab Podcast blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, ease anxiety, and uplift mood. Join Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek for practical, mindfulness-based tools and positive psychology strategies to build resilience and create lasting joy.   If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts! And... if you want to spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free, then please join our mission by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible).   Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram TikTok Linkedin Watch on YouTube   Full transcript here   Sources and Notes for this full grief series: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life.  Grief Series: Why We're Doing a 10-Part Series on Grief (And Why You Need It) [part 1, ep 248] Everything We Love, We Will Lose: Navigating the First Gate of Grief [part 2, ep 249] Welcoming Back the Parts of You That Have Not Known Love [part 3, ep 250] Other related Joy Lab episodes: The Power of Gathering: Science-Backed Ways to Combat Loneliness Through Group Connection [ep. 240] Sympathetic Fear vs. Sympathetic Joy: What Are You Tuning Into? [ep. 238] Where's Your Third Place? [ep. 171] Learning to Love Well: Creating a House of Belonging [ep. 25] Common Humanity vs Isolation (ep. 28) Lonely in crowded places (this isn't a country music song) (ep. 73) Wild Edge of Sorrow by Francis Weller Skye Cielita Flor & Miraz Indira, The Joyful Lament: On Pain for the World. 2023 Access here Learn more about Joanna Macy's work from the Commons Library. "Interdependency is not a contract but a condition, even a precondition." — Dr. María Puig de la Bellacasa "Let me keep my distance always from those who think they have the answers. Let me keep company, always, with those who say, look and laugh in astonishment and bow their heads." — Mary Oliver "The mind pays for its deadening to the state of our world by giving up its capacity for joy and flexibility." — Joanna Macy "Don't be afraid of your sorrow or grief or rage. Treasure them. They come from your caring." — Joanna Macy "Joy is the practice of our entanglements." — Ross Gay "Grief is brought forth by the safety and holding capacity of the communal nervous system. We cannot and should not do it alone. We have evolved to open together and carry each other into the places that scare us just as we have evolved to sing and praise and dance and grow together." — Skye Cielita Flor and Miraz Indira  Beckes & Sbarra, Social baseline theory: State of the science and new directions. Access here Beckes, et al. (2011). Social Baseline Theory: The Role of Social Proximity in Emotion and Economy of Action. Access here Bunea et al. (2017). Early-life adversity and cortisol response to social stress: a meta-analysis. Access here. Eisma, et al. (2019). No pain, no gain: cross-lagged analyses of posttraumatic growth and anxiety, depression, posttraumatic stress and prolonged grief symptoms after loss. Access here  Kamis, et al. (2024). Childhood maltreatment associated with adolescent peer networks: Withdrawal, avoidance, and fragmentation. Access here  Lehrner, et al. (2014). Maternal PTSD associates with greater glucocorticoid sensitivity in offspring of Holocaust survivors. Access here  Hirschberger G. (2018). Collective Trauma an d the Social Construction of Meaning. Frontiers in psychology, 9, 1441. Access here  Sheehy, et al. (2019). An examination of the relationship between shame, guilt and self-harm: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Access here  Strathearn, et al. (2020). Long-term Cognitive, Psychological, and Health Outcomes Associated With Child Abuse and Neglect. Access here  Yehuda et al. (1998). Vulnerability to posttraumatic stress disorder in adult offspring of Holocaust survivors.  Access here. Yehuda, et al. (2018). Intergenerational transmission of trauma effects: putative role of epigenetic mechanisms. Access here    Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

We're exploring the second gate of grief from Francis Weller's framework: The Places That Have Not Known Love. Unlike the first gate (episode #249)—which dealt with more of the external losses—this gate turns inward to examine the parts of ourselves we've rejected, hidden, or banished in our need to belong. And this isn't about toxic positivity or pretending everything is fine. It's about integrating the messy, uncomfortable, angry, scared, "too much" parts of yourself—and discovering that when you love what you've rejected, it loses its grip over you.  p.s. Find your Simple Joy practice for this episode right here at our blog.   About: The Joy Lab Podcast blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, ease anxiety, and uplift mood. Join Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek for practical, mindfulness-based tools and positive psychology strategies to build resilience and create lasting joy.   If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts! And... if you want to spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free, then please join our mission by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible).   Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram TikTok Linkedin Watch on YouTube    Sources and notes: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life. Imposter phenomenon series: Imposter Syndrome is a Myth (ep. 175) What Imposter Syndrome Really Is (ep. 176)  Self-connection series: Making Self-Connection Your Superpower in 2026 [ep. 243] The Practice of Self-Awareness: Why You're Worth Knowing [ep. 244] Stop Waiting to Accept Yourself: The Truth About Unconditional Self-Acceptance [ep. 245] The Power of Self-Alignment & Reclaiming Your True Self [ep. 246] Self-acceptance episodes: No Need to Hurry, No Need to Sparkle, No Need to Be Anybody But Yourself [ep. 160] Accept Yourself Just As You Are & Then You Can Change [ep. 150] How to Change: External vs Internal Motivators [ep. 145]  Authenticity series: Unmasking Your True Self: Exploring Authenticity and Awe [ep. 216] Embrace Your True Self: Accepted, Connected, & In The Game [ep. 217] The Road Most Travelled: Awakening Through Suffering [ep. 218]  Follow Your Bliss: Awakening to Joy [ep. 219] The Still Small Voice: Awakening with Soulfulness [ep. 220]  Wild Edge of Sorrow by Francis Weller   Full notes, sources, and full transcript available here.   Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

In this episode, we're exploring the first of Francis Weller's Five Gates of Grief: "Everything we love, we will lose." This isn't just another depressing truth about life—it's a surprisingly liberating gateway to deeper love, presence, and joy. We'll share some stories and practical wisdom about how savoring practices can help us hold both love and loss simultaneously. Most importantly, we'll highlight why grief is a skill, not just a feeling, and you'll learn a simple five-minute micro-ritual for tending to loss before it accumulates. This conversation weaves together Buddhist teachings on impermanence, neuroscience research on grief and savoring, and the vital reminder that grief is absolutely a team sport.  p.s. Find your Simple Joy practice for this episode right here at our blog. About: The Joy Lab Podcast blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, ease anxiety, and uplift mood. Join Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek for practical, mindfulness-based tools and positive psychology strategies to build resilience and create lasting joy.   If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts! And... if you want to spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free, then please join our mission by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible).   Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram TikTok Linkedin Watch on YouTube    Sources and Notes for this full grief series: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life. Wild Edge of Sorrow by Francis Weller "Grief is not a feeling, grief is a skill." — Francis Weller "Ritual is a maintenance practice that offers us the means of tending wounds and sorrows, for offering gratitude, allowing our psyches regular periods of release and renewal." — Francis Weller "Half of any person is wrong and weak and off the beaten path. Half the other half is dancing and laughing and swimming in the invisible joy." — Rumi "We are all the walking wounded in a world that is a war zone. Everything we love will be taken from us. Everything. Last of all life itself. Yet this reality does not diminish love. It shows us that loving is the most important business." -Christina Pinkola Estés' Website  Skye Cielita Flor & Miraz Indira, The Joyful Lament: On Pain for the World. 2023 Access here Learn more about Joanna Macy's work from the Commons Library.  Beckes & Sbarra, Social baseline theory: State of the science and new directions. Access here Beckes, et al. (2011). Social Baseline Theory: The Role of Social Proximity in Emotion and Economy of Action. Access here Bunea et al. (2017). Early-life adversity and cortisol response to social stress: a meta-analysis. Access here. Eisma, et al. (2019). No pain, no gain: cross-lagged analyses of posttraumatic growth and anxiety, depression, posttraumatic stress and prolonged grief symptoms after loss. Access here  Lehrner, et al. (2014). Maternal PTSD associates with greater glucocorticoid sensitivity in offspring of Holocaust survivors. Access here Kamis, et al. (2024). Childhood maltreatment associated with adolescent peer networks: Withdrawal, avoidance, and fragmentation. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chiabu.2024.107125  Sheehy, et al. (2019). An examination of the relationship between shame, guilt and self-harm: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Access here  Strathearn, et al. (2020). Long-term Cognitive, Psychological, and Health Outcomes Associated With Child Abuse and Neglect. Access here  Yehuda et al. (1998). Vulnerability to posttraumatic stress disorder in adult offspring of Holocaust survivors.  Access here. Yehuda, et al. (2018). Intergenerational transmission of trauma effects: putative role of epigenetic mechanisms. Access here   Full transcript available here   Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

In this introduction to our 10-part grief series, we'll explain why a podcast about joy is diving deep into grief—and why you can't truly have joy without grief. During this series, we'll mainly lean on Francis Weller's "gates of grief." And importantly, as we move through these gates, the goal is not to help you "get over it" or rush through some prescribed grief stages so you can dismiss "bad" feelings. Instead, we'll explore more about the healing power of grief, how you can see and accept loss with less resistance, and we'll share some practices and realistic ways you can build skills to navigate grief in more nourishing ways.  p.s. Find your Simple Joy practice for this episode right here at our blog. About: The Joy Lab Podcast blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, ease anxiety, and uplift mood. Join Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek for practical, mindfulness-based tools and positive psychology strategies to build resilience and create lasting joy. If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts! And... if you want to spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free, then please join our mission by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible).   Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram TikTok Linkedin Watch on YouTube   Sources and Notes for this full grief series: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life. Wild Edge of Sorrow by Francis Weller Skye Cielita Flor & Miraz Indira, The Joyful Lament: On Pain for the World. 2023 Access here Learn more about Joanna Macy's work from the Commons Library.  Beckes & Sbarra, Social baseline theory: State of the science and new directions. Access here Beckes, et al. (2011). Social Baseline Theory: The Role of Social Proximity in Emotion and Economy of Action. Access here Bunea et al. (2017). Early-life adversity and cortisol response to social stress: a meta-analysis. Access here. Eisma, et al. (2019). No pain, no gain: cross-lagged analyses of posttraumatic growth and anxiety, depression, posttraumatic stress and prolonged grief symptoms after loss. Access here  Lehrner, et al. (2014). Maternal PTSD associates with greater glucocorticoid sensitivity in offspring of Holocaust survivors. Access here   Kamis, et al. (2024). Childhood maltreatment associated with adolescent peer networks: Withdrawal, avoidance, and fragmentation.https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chiabu.2024.107125  Sheehy, et al. (2019). An examination of the relationship between shame, guilt and self-harm: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Access here  Strathearn, et al. (2020). Long-term Cognitive, Psychological, and Health Outcomes Associated With Child Abuse and Neglect. Access here  Yehuda et al. (1998). Vulnerability to posttraumatic stress disorder in adult offspring of Holocaust survivors.  Access here. Yehuda, et al. (2018). Intergenerational transmission of trauma effects: putative role of epigenetic mechanisms. Access here    Full transcript here   Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

Why do most New Year's resolutions fail by week three? Often because we don't really connect with those resolutions. In this episode, we'll build on our self-connection series to see how that work of connecting with our true self can inform goals that we're more likely to achieve. We'll focus on a two-step framework for goal achievement: fit (goals that match your authentic values) and grit (sustained effort that doesn't lead to burnout). If you haven't caught the rest of this series, head back to episode 243 for the first part.  p.s., Find your Simple Joy practice for this episode right here at our blog.   About: The Joy Lab Podcast blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, ease anxiety, and uplift mood. Join Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek for practical, mindfulness-based tools and positive psychology strategies to build resilience and create lasting joy. If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts!   Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram TikTok Linkedin Watch on YouTube    Sources and Notes: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life. Self-connection series: Making Self-Connection Your Superpower in 2026 [ep. 243] The Practice of Self-Awareness: Why You're Worth Knowing [ep. 244] Stop Waiting to Accept Yourself: The Truth About Unconditional Self-Acceptance [ep. 245] The Power of Self-Alignment & Reclaiming Your True Self [ep. 246] Self-acceptance episodes: No Need to Hurry, No Need to Sparkle, No Need to Be Anybody But Yourself [ep. 160] Accept Yourself Just As You Are & Then You Can Change [ep. 150] How to Change: External vs Internal Motivators [ep. 145]  Authenticity series: Unmasking Your True Self: Exploring Authenticity and Awe [ep. 216] Embrace Your True Self: Accepted, Connected, & In The Game [ep. 217] The Road Most Travelled: Awakening Through Suffering [ep. 218]  Follow Your Bliss: Awakening to Joy [ep. 219] The Still Small Voice: Awakening with Soulfulness [ep. 220] More on inspiration and goal-setting: Inspiration: The Engine of Joy" ... gives some great basics for this element of inspiration) [ep. 10] Resolution #1: You Don't Need to Be Fixed [ep. 40] The Myths of Change [ep. 41] Five Principles for Inspired Change (or something that looks remarkably like it) [ep. 42] Harmonious vs. Obsessive Passions [ep. 43]  Dr. Angela Duckworth's website. "You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, and how you can still come out of it." — Maya Angelou   Full transcript here   Coming Next Month on Joy Lab Next month starts our series on grief. If you're wondering what that has to do with joy, well, it has everything to do with joy. The truth is we can't have one without the other. In the series, we'll explore how to move with and through grief more skillfully so that your joy can grow too.  The Science of Goal Setting: Fit (with self-connection) and Grit (with harmonious passion)  Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

We're talking about self-alignment today—the final piece of our self-connection series and perhaps the most challenging. What does it really mean to be "comfortable in your own skin"? More than just knowing yourself (self-awareness) or accepting yourself (self-acceptance), self-alignment is about acting in ways consistent with your authentic values, preferences, and internal states. We'll dig into the obstacles of self-alignment and strategies to overcome them, including designing a "values tattoo" that visually captures what matters most to you. p.s., Find your Simple Joy practice for this episode right here at our blog.   About: The Joy Lab Podcast blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, ease anxiety, and uplift mood. Join Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek for practical, mindfulness-based tools and positive psychology strategies to build resilience and create lasting joy. If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts!   Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram TikTok Linkedin YouTube   Watch this episode on YouTube   Sources and Notes: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life. Self-connection series: Making Self-Connection Your Superpower in 2026 [ep. 243] The Practice of Self-Awareness: Why You're Worth Knowing [ep. 244] Stop Waiting to Accept Yourself: The Truth About Unconditional Self-Acceptance [ep. 245] Title here [ep. 246] Self-acceptance episodes: No Need to Hurry, No Need to Sparkle, No Need to Be Anybody But Yourself [ep. 160] Accept Yourself Just As You Are & Then You Can Change [ep. 150] How to Change: External vs Internal Motivators [ep. 145]  Authenticity series: Unmasking Your True Self: Exploring Authenticity and Awe [ep. 216] Embrace Your True Self: Accepted, Connected, & In The Game [ep. 217] The Road Most Travelled: Awakening Through Suffering [ep. 218]  Follow Your Bliss: Awakening to Joy [ep. 219] The Still Small Voice: Awakening with Soulfulness [ep. 220] More on inspiration and goal-setting: Inspiration: The Engine of Joy" ... gives some great basics for this element of inspiration) [ep. 10] Resolution #1: You Don't Need to Be Fixed [ep. 40] The Myths of Change [ep. 41] Five Principles for Inspired Change (or something that looks remarkably like it) [ep. 42] Harmonious vs. Obsessive Passions [ep. 43]  May Sarton: "Now I become myself. It's taken time, many years, and places I have been dissolved and shaken, worn other people's faces." Parker Palmer: "What a long time it can take to become the person one has always been. How often in the process we mask ourselves in faces that are not our own." Mahatma Gandhi: "Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."    Full transcript available here   Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

Are you self-aware? Thankfully, it's not a yes or no question. Self-awareness is the practice of knowing yourself without judgment and it isn't a one-and-done achievement. It's a lifelong practice that exists on a spectrum, varies across different domains of your life, and requires us to embrace all our multitudes—even the parts we'd rather push away. The truth is that you are worth knowing. All of you. We'll dig into some of the obstacles and superpowers that self-awareness brings, including its foundation for psychological health, wellbeing, and ultimately, living a more inspired life. About: The Joy Lab Podcast blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, ease anxiety, and uplift mood. Join Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek for practical, mindfulness-based tools and positive psychology strategies to build resilience and create lasting joy. If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts!   Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram TikTok Linkedin Watch on YouTube    Sources and Notes: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life. Related Joy Lab Podcast Episodes Unmasking Your True Self: Exploring Authenticity and Awe [ep. 216] Embrace Your True Self: Accepted, Connected, & In The Game [ep. 217] The Road Most Travelled: Awakening Through Suffering [ep. 218]  Follow Your Bliss: Awakening to Joy [ep. 219] The Still Small Voice: Awakening with Soulfulness [ep. 220] Equanimity: A Tool for Emotional Reactivity & the Power of Grounding [ep. 48] Equanimity: When an Emotional Storm Hits & Thoughts Start Spiraling [ep. 49] Equanimity: Seeing our Storylines and Changing Course [ep. 50] Equanimity: Emotional Reactivity and Damage Control [ep. 51] Equanimity: Cleaning Up After the Storm with Self-Compassion [ep. 52] Self love is not narcissism [ep. 227] Authenticity series: Weathering emotional storms series: "They who have not looked on sorrow will never see joy." - Khalil Gibran "Once the storm is over, you won't remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won't even be sure whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won't be the same person who walked in. That's what the storm's all about." - Haruki Murakami "We are not nouns. We are verbs. I am not a thing, an actor or writer. I am a person who does things. I write, I act, and I never know what I'm gonna do next. I think you can be imprisoned if you think of yourself as a noun." - Stephen Fry "The universe is not outside of you. Look inside yourself. Everything that you want, you already are." - Rumi Full transcript and show notes here Coming This Month on Joy Lab January's series on Self-Connection will explore: Self-Awareness practices and principles Self-Acceptance techniques for compassionate inner dialogue Self-Alignment strategies for living in integrity with your values Self-Concordant Goals: a powerful alternative to traditional goal-setting Applied mindfulness practices to deepen each component Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

Happy New Year! Welcome to a special Thursday episode of Joy Lab as we kick off 2026 with our Element of Inspiration. We'll explore why inspiration is so much more powerful than willpower-driven resolutions with some extra attention to the good news that inspiration is absolutely a skill you can cultivate. This is also the first episode of our series on self-connection. We'll start by highlighting the three components that create fertile ground for inspiration: self-awareness, self-acceptance, and self-alignment. If you've ever felt disconnected from yourself or struggled to move from dreaming to doing, this episode offers both the research and a roadmap. About: The Joy Lab Podcast blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, ease anxiety, and uplift mood. Join Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek for practical, mindfulness-based tools and positive psychology strategies to build resilience and create lasting joy. If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts! Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram TikTok Linkedin Watch on YouTube Sources and Notes: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life. Related Joy Lab Podcast Episodes: Inspiration: The Engine of Joy" ... gives some great basics for this element of inspiration) [ep. 10] Resolution #1: You Don't Need to Be Fixed [ep. 40] The Myths of Change [ep. 41] Five Principles for Inspired Change (or something that looks remarkably like it) [ep. 42] Harmonious vs. Obsessive Passions [ep. 43]   Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

Complex trauma is more common than you might think. Many people face a host of significant challenges such as damaging childhood experiences, relationship abuse, and terrifying life events. The impact of traumatic experiences can surely accumulate over time even though we're often unaware of the significant mental, emotional, and physical toll. Sadly, we end up merely "holding it together" as we march forward in survival mode. Yet, when we suppress trauma, the core parts of who we are often starve and wither away. Today, I'm joined by a tremendous complex trauma expert, Dr. Harris, who will help us unravel how anxiety and fear can hold us back--and how to heal and move forward. Topics discussed include somatic experiencing therapy, validation, kindness, healing, empathy, body-based healing, glimmers, stalking, rape, emotional abuse, physical abuse, financial abuse, domestic violence, support, Healing Your Way Home Retreat, secure attachment, insecure attachment, and psychotherapy.Please note that this episode contains sensitive material; listener discretion is advised.Emergency Assistance Note: If you or someone you know needs immediate support, please call your emergency services. In the US, 24/7 help is available by calling "911," "988" (Suicide and Crisis Hotline), or SAMSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) at 1-800-662-HELP (4357). Domestic Violence: https://www.thehotline.org/https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/healthy-living/mental-health-and-relationship Additional links are in the show notes.Mental Health Hotline: https://mentalhealthhotline.org/ptsd-hotline/NAMI HelpLine: https://www.nami.org/support-education/nami-helpline/IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: No expert is offering medical or psychological direction or advice; the content is purely informational in nature. Please consult your physician or healthcare provider before undertaking any new regimen or procedure.Connect with Dr. Carla Manly:Website: https://www.drcarlamanly.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/drcarlamanly/Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/drcarlamanly/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drcarlamanlyLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/carla-marie-manly-8682362b/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.carlamariemanly8543TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dr_carla_manlyBooks by Dr. Carla Manly:Joy From Fear: Create the Life of Your Dreams by Making Fear Your Friend Date Smart: Transform Your Relationships and Love FearlesslyAging Joyfully: A Woman's Guide to Optimal Health, Relationships, and Fulfillment for Her 50s and BeyondThe Joy of Imperfect Love: The Art of Creating Healthy, Securely Attached RelationshipsImperfect Love Relationship & Oracle Card Deck by Dr. Carla Manly:EtsyAmazonConnect with Dr. Harris:Website: https://theempoweredtherapist.com/Blog: https://theempoweredtherapist.com/therapist-mentor-trauma-healing-retreat-blog/Retreat: https://theempoweredtherapist.com/trauma-healing-retreat-somatic-intensives-dallas-texasClasses: https://theempoweredtherapist.com/somatic-movement-classes-healing-yogaInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/theempoweredtherapist/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theempoweredtherapstLove the show? Subscribe, rate, review, and share! https://drcarlamanly.com/

Our work at Joy Lab is both deeply personal and fully universal. In this episode, we're sharing more about why we do this work and why it's so needed. And this isn't just another origin story. It's a call to action. It's about why we keep this podcast ad-free, why we believe mental health tools should be more accessible, and how your support—whether financial or simply sharing an episode—creates exponential ripples of healing and hope. Ways You Can Spread Joy 1. Financial Support Donate: https://www.joylab.coach/donate Even $5-10 makes a real difference Monthly donations help us sustain this work long-term 2. Share the Joy Tell someone about the Joy Lab Podcast Share an episode that resonated with you Help someone discover us when they need us most 3. Create Ripples Practice what you learn Become your own island of light Let your light spread to others About: The Joy Lab Podcast blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, ease anxiety, and uplift mood. Join Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek for practical, mindfulness-based tools and positive psychology strategies to build resilience and create lasting joy. If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts! Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram TikTok Linkedin Watch on YouTube   Full transcript here Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

Ever felt that electric energy ripple through a crowd at a concert, sports game, or peaceful protest? That's not just your imagination—it's collective effervescence, and it's something we're deeply wired for as humans. In this episode, we'll dive into the fascinating science behind why gathering together matters for our mental health, especially in our increasingly isolated modern world. French sociologist Émile Durkheim coined this term over 100 years ago, nearly a century before we could take all of our gatherings online. Even then, Durkheim noticed that folks were missing some of these necessary experiences in their lives. The good news is there are lots of diverse ways to experience more collective effervescence (e.g., concerts, grief groups, sports events, game nights, book clubs, weddings, funerals, and fitness classes). We'll talk more about how to incorporate these experiences into your daily life and some of the obstacles that might pop up. About: The Joy Lab Podcast blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, ease anxiety, and uplift mood. Join Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek for practical, mindfulness-based tools and positive psychology strategies to build resilience and create lasting joy. If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts! Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram TikTok Linkedin Watch this episode on YouTube Sources and Notes: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life. Joy Lab Podcast Episodes: Sympathetic Fear vs. Sympathetic Joy: What Are You Tuning Into? [ep. 238] Caring What Others Think Isn't Your Weakness [ep. 239] Full transcript here. Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

Have you been told (or told yourself) not to care what others think? Spoiler alert—caring what others think isn't a bad thing. In fact, it's completely natural and wired into us as humans. The real issue? Trying to stop that caring or caring too much about what others think and letting that concern disconnect us from ourselves and others. We'll cover some strategies to address both of these common tendencies so that your caring can nourish you rather than deplete you. About: The Joy Lab Podcast blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, ease anxiety, and uplift mood. Join Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek for practical, mindfulness-based tools and positive psychology strategies to build resilience and create lasting joy. If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts! Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram TikTok Linkedin Watch on YouTube   Sources and Notes: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life. Joy Lab Podcast Episodes: Sympathetic Fear vs. Sympathetic Joy: What Are You Tuning Into? [ep. 238] Unmasking Your True Self: Exploring Authenticity and Awe [ep. 216] Embrace Your True Self: Accepted, Connected, & In The Game [ep. 217] The Road Most Travelled: Awakening Through Suffering [ep. 218]  Follow Your Bliss: Awakening to Joy [ep. 219] The Still Small Voice: Awakening with Soulfulness [ep. 220] Full transcript here Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

In this episode, Henry and Aimee explore the fascinating science behind emotional contagion and how we're constantly picking up signals from those around us. They dive into why sympathetic joy can be such a powerful practice—and why it's often harder than it seems. Learn how to become more aware of the emotional "frequency" you're tuned into and discover practical ways to shift toward joy, connection, and love. About: The Joy Lab Podcast blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, ease anxiety, and uplift mood. Join Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek for practical, mindfulness-based tools and positive psychology strategies to build resilience and create lasting joy. Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey and pair this podcast with the Joy Lab Program. You'll learn step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life. If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts!   Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram TikTok Linkedin Watch on YouTube   Sources and Notes: The Asch conformity experiments. Learn more here. Dr. Elaine Hatfield's work on emotional contagion: Hatfield's website Related Joy Lab Podcast Episodes: Self-Compassion: Remembering You're Not Alone [ep. 28] Full transcript here Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

'Tis the season of giving! Or maybe the season of giving too much? In this episode, we'll talk about the positive effects of giving, such as the release of dopamine and endorphins, which create a 'helper's high.' And then... we'll talk about the importance of recognizing and respecting our limits so we don't give too much (and venture into that space sometimes called 'pathological altruism'). We'll cover some strategies to navigate healthy giving, including the reminder that giving and receiving must come together.  About: The Joy Lab Podcast blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, ease anxiety, and uplift mood. Join Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek for practical, mindfulness-based tools and positive psychology strategies to build resilience and create lasting joy. If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts! Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram TikTok Linkedin Watch on YouTube Sources and Notes: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life. Joy Lab Podcast Episodes: Gratitude: Beyond the Hashtags and Eye Rolls [ep. 234] Reducing Negative Self-Talk With Illeism (it's a thing!) [ep. 235] The Power of Good Enough Parenting & Calling Out Our Moms [ep. 236] Worrier? You're Not Alone. Here's Why We Worry... [ep. 213] Fast-Acting Strategies to Combat Worry and Anxiety [ep. 214] Rumination: What It Is And How To Break Free From It [ep. 205] Learning to Love Well: Be More Permeable [ep. 23] Full transcript here. Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.  

How's  In this episode of the Joy Lab podcast, Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek explore the theme of gratitude, specifically focusing on the nurturing roles of mothers and other caregivers in our lives. They discuss the concept of 'good enough parenting' as introduced by Dr. Donald Winnicott, emphasizing that parents don't need to be perfect but should provide sufficient love and care. The hosts highlight the historical context where mothers were unfairly blamed for children's mental health issues and discuss the broader societal implications of appreciating maternal figures. They encourage listeners to recognize and express gratitude towards the various 'mothers' in their lives. About: The Joy Lab Podcast blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, ease anxiety, and uplift mood. Join Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek for practical, mindfulness-based tools and positive psychology strategies to build resilience and create lasting joy. If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts!   Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram TikTok Linkedin Watch on YouTube   Sources and Notes: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life. Book: Winnicott on The Child  by Donald Winnicott  Full transcript here Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

In the spring of 2017, the phone calls came almost every day. Tina Stadig always stayed in touch with her twin sister, no matter where life had taken her. The last time they spoke, Tina talked about what was next in her life. She mentioned finding a new place to land, possibly with her sister, like old times.They never made a plan. And then, one day, the calls stopped. Days passed. Then weeks. And the silence that followed was louder than any conversation they'd ever had. It would take months before anyone realized just how long Tina had been gone… and by then, the search for answers had already become something much more complicated.At the time of her disappearance in 2017, Tina was described as white with brown hair and hazel eyes, about 5-foot-2 and 140 pounds. She might be carrying a backpack and trash bag with her personal belongings inside, and was known to frequent Skowhegan, Waterville and Bangor. If you have any information that could help determine Tina Stadig's whereabouts, please call the Skowhegan Police Department at (207) 474-6908.If you or someone you love is struggling with substance use or mental health challenges, you're not alone and help is available.The National Alliance on Mental Illness offers free support and education for individuals and families. You can call the NAMI HelpLine at 1-800-950-NAMI, that's 1-800-950-6264, or visit nami.org to chat online.You can also visit shatterproof.org, a U.S. nonprofit dedicated to ending addiction stigma and helping families find treatment and recovery resources.View source material and photos for this episode at: darkdowneast.com/tinastadig Dark Downeast is an Audiochuck and Kylie Media production hosted by Kylie Low.Follow @darkdowneast on Instagram, Facebook, and TikTokTo suggest a case visit darkdowneast.com/submit-case Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

How's your self-talk? If you're like most folks, it's probably not as kind as you'd like. In this episode, we'll talk about the power of positive self-talk and gratitude. We'll get into how the chatter of those more critical self-talk "voices" can be navigated and even the positives behind them (with some attention to Internal Family Systems perspective). We'll also guide you through some power strategies to make your self-talk kinder. A few of these include 'Grateful Self-Talk' and the concept of 'distanced self-talk' or 'illeism,' which involves speaking to yourself in the second or third person to create psychological distance and foster self-compassion. After listening, be sure to give these practices a try. They're powerful and well worth your time. Incorporating more positive self-talk is a real pathway to better mental health and wellbeing.  About: The Joy Lab Podcast blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, ease anxiety, and uplift mood. Join Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek for practical, mindfulness-based tools and positive psychology strategies to build resilience and create lasting joy. If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts! How's your self-talk? If you're like most folks, it's probably not as kind as you'd like. In this episode, we'll talk about the power of positive self-talk and gratitude. We'll get into how the chatter of those more critical self-talk "voices" can be navigated and even the positives behind them (with some attention to Internal Family Systems perspective). We'll also guide you through some power strategies to make your self-talk kinder. A few of these include 'Grateful Self-Talk' and the concept of 'distanced self-talk' or 'illeism,' which involves speaking to yourself in the second or third person to create psychological distance and foster self-compassion. After listening, be sure to give these practices a try. They're powerful and well worth your time. Incorporating more positive self-talk is a real pathway to better mental health and wellbeing.  About: The Joy Lab Podcast blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, ease anxiety, and uplift mood. Join Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek for practical, mindfulness-based tools and positive psychology strategies to build resilience and create lasting joy. If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts!   Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram TikTok Linkedin Watch on YouTube   Key moments: 00:00 Introduction to Joy Lab Podcast 00:32 Exploring Grateful Self-Talk 02:22 The Role of Internal Family Systems (IFS) 06:09 Distanced Self-Talk: Illeism Explained 08:55 Practical Applications and Personal Experiences 14:39 The Power of Gratitude and Self-Compassion 17:12 Conclusion and Final Thoughts    Sources and Notes: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life. More episodes about self-talk... our self compassion series is a great place to start: Self-Compassion: Don't Believe Everything You Think (about yourself) [ep. 26] Self-Compassion: Easing Up On Yourself [ep. 27] Self-Compassion: Remembering You're Not Alone [ep. 28] Full transcript here  Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org. Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram TikTok Linkedin Watch on YouTube    Sources and Notes: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life. More episodes about self-talk... our self compassion series is a great place to start: Self-Compassion: Don't Believe Everything You Think (about yourself) [ep 26] Self-Compassion: Easing Up On Yourself [ep. 27] Self-Compassion: Remembering You're Not Alone [ep. 28]   Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

Do you feel like you *should* be more grateful? Yeah, we get it. Gratitude is funny like that. Of all our Elements of Joy, gratitude likely has the strongest scientific evidence right alongside the most bad takes and eye rolls. That's why we're digging into gratitude as more than just a feel-good hashtag. We'll explore how it helps build resilience and how it often intertwines beautifully with life's hardships. So, grab your favorite gratitude-stamped mug and join us for a practical discussion on this powerful Element of Joy. About: The Joy Lab Podcast blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, ease anxiety, and uplift mood. Join Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek for practical, mindfulness-based tools and positive psychology strategies to build resilience and create lasting joy. If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts!   Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram TikTok Linkedin Watch on YouTube   Sources and Notes: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life. Wake Up Grateful by Kristi Nelson Full transcript here Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

In this episode, we're exploring Dr. Gabor Maté's fifth and final level of compassion: The compassion of possibility. We'll dig into how we can see beyond suffering and dysfunction to recognize the good within ourselves and others. This is a skill we can all practice and get better at. And importantly, this isn't some toxic positivity exercise. This is a skill that helps us see the whole picture, the full truth of whatever we're looking at. Seeing that full picture allows us to step into our wisdom and power so that we can make decisions that are more nourishing. About: The Joy Lab Podcast blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, ease anxiety, and uplift mood. Join Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek for practical, mindfulness-based tools and positive psychology strategies to build resilience and create lasting joy. If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts! Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials: Instagram TikTok Linkedin Watch on YouTube Sources and Notes: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life. Previous episodes for this series: Part 1: Ordinary Human Compassion & Self-Compassion to Improve Mental Health Part 2: Understanding Ourselves & Others Part 3: Reducing Self-Criticism & Judgment by Recognizing Our Shared Human-ess Part 4: Facing Pain and Finding Freedom Gabor Mate's website. Full transcript here Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

The poet Rumi shared this wisdom: "Grief can be the garden of compassion. If you keep your heart open through everything, Your pain can become your greatest ally in your life's search for love and wisdom." The poetry of Rumi makes that process sound like a smooth and blissful journey. Of course, the reality is that the work of being open amidst tough stuff, seeing our suffering, accepting our pain, and moving on can be messy and difficult. AND, no matter how many times we try and fall short, it's still healing work. We'll dig into this journey throughout the episode, how we can be open to and see the truth of our pain, and how to apply compassion and practical steps to move beyond what might be holding us back.  About: The Joy Lab Podcast blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, ease anxiety, and uplift mood. Join Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek for practical, mindfulness-based tools and positive psychology strategies to build resilience and create lasting joy. If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts!   Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram TikTok Linkedin Watch episode on YouTube  Sources and Notes: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life. Previous episodes for this series: Part 1: Ordinary Human Compassion & Self-Compassion to Improve Mental Health Part 2: Understanding Ourselves & Others Part 3: Reducing Self-Criticism & Judgment by Recognizing Our Shared Human-ess Gabor Mate's website Full transcript here Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

We're digging into the Dr. Gabor Maté's third level of compassion in this episode: The compassion of recognition. This level emphasizes realizing the shared nature of pain and loss, reminding us that we are not alone. We'll highlight the 'illusion of separation' and how breaking through it can deepen our connections and ease our struggles. We'll also share the 'Judge, Mirror, Bridge' exercise to help us practice compassion by identifying judgments, finding similarities within ourselves, and bridging connections with others.  About: The Joy Lab Podcast blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, ease anxiety, and uplift mood. Join Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek for practical, mindfulness-based tools and positive psychology strategies to build resilience and create lasting joy. If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts!  Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram TikTok Linkedin YouTube Sources and Notes: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life. Previous episodes for this series: Part 1: Ordinary Human Compassion & Self-Compassion to Improve Mental Health Part 2: Understanding Ourselves & Others Gabor Mate's website. How can I love myself more... and love others more too? [ep. 174] Full transcript here Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

Welcome back to Truth, Lies & Work, the award-winning podcast where behavioral science meets workplace culture. Hosted by Chartered Occupational Psychologist Leanne Elliott and business owner Al Elliott, this episode features Josh Levine, work futurist, author of "Great Mondays," and culture consultant who's helped companies like Credit Karma navigate the treacherous waters of hypergrowth. Episode Summary Picture this: You've built something special. Your team of 15 feels like family. Everyone knows everyone. The culture just works. But now you're staring down growth - maybe to 50, maybe to 100 employees. And there's this gnawing fear: what if scaling breaks everything we've built? What We Cover The 50-Employee Breaking Point Why founder's culture has an expiration date and the physics behind cultural breakdown From Implicit to Explicit How to transform unspoken behaviours into values that actually scale beyond personal influence The Three-Step Framework Identify, codify, and communicate the most important decisions that move the needle Why Most Values Fail The difference between values as wall decorations versus business tools that drive decisions Recognition Done Right How Wells Fargo's outcome-focused rewards destroyed trust and what to do instead Trust as Infrastructure Why relational infrastructure matters more than physical infrastructure in distributed work The WD-40 Case Study How Gary Ridge reframed failure as learning and invested in humans, not just outputs Measuring Culture at Scale Why Employee Net Promoter Score captures what matters as you grow Resources Connect with Josh Levine on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/akajoshlevine Follow Josh on Instagram: @greatmondays_culturedesign Great Mondays website: https://greatmondays.com Great Mondays Radio: https://radio.greatmondays.com Great Mondays YouTube: https://youtube.com/@GreatMondays Get the book "Great Mondays" at greatmondays.com Mental Health Support This episode discusses workplace stress, burnout, and the challenges of scaling culture. If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health: UK: Samaritans: 116 123 (24/7 helpline) - https://www.samaritans.org/ Mind: 0300 123 3393 or text 86463 - https://www.mind.org.uk/ US: 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988 (24/7) - https://988lifeline.org/ NAMI Helpline: 1-800-950-NAMI (6264) - https://www.nami.org/ International: Befrienders Worldwide: https://www.befrienders.org/ (directory of crisis helplines worldwide) International Association for Suicide Prevention: https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/ (global crisis center directory) Connect with Your Hosts Connect with Al on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thisisalelliott/ Connect with Leanne on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/meetleanne Join the discussion about this episode on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/truthlieswork/ Email: podcast@TruthLiesandWork.com Follow us on Instagram: @truthlieswork Chat with us on X: @truthlieswork YouTube channel: @TruthLiesWork Check us out on TikTok: @truthlieswork Want a chat about your workplace culture? hi@TruthLiesandWork.com Got feedback/questions/guest suggestions? Email podcast@TruthLiesandWork.com

Stuck in judgement? If so, you're not alone. In this episode, we're exploring the 'compassion of understanding,' the second level in Dr. Gabor Maté's five levels of compassion. This level of compassion can help us move beyond judgment and into curiosity and understanding. We'll talk about some strategies to put this into action so that we can cultivate compassion both for ourselves and others.     About: The Joy Lab Podcast blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, ease anxiety, and uplift mood. Join Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek for practical, mindfulness-based tools and positive psychology strategies to build resilience and create lasting joy. If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts!   Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram TikTok Linkedin Watch this episode on YouTube   Sources and Notes: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life.  Previous episodes for this series: Part 1: Ordinary Human Compassion & Self-Compassion to Improve Mental Health Gabor Mate's website. Sometimes I Just Sits... (the power of solitude) [Joy Lab ep. 74]   Full transcript here Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

Welcome back to Truth, Lies & Work, the award-winning podcast where behavioral science meets workplace culture. Hosted by Chartered Occupational Psychologist Leanne Elliott and business owner Al Elliott, bringing you the latest workplace stories that actually matter. News Round Up Digital Hangover - The New Workplace Epidemic That feeling when you've been on your laptop all day, mindlessly scroll Instagram, and suddenly feel wired but weirdly drained? That's a digital hangover. Psychologies Magazine article: https://pocketmags.com/us/psychologies-magazine/oct-25/articles/the-science-of-wellbeing-how-to-shake-off-a-digital-hangover?srsltid=AfmBOorVwGPxFvEpTNB5EZru-bMQUVahEMrR_Nk5KLVp4daxRgI7CV3W Is Workplace Humour Too Risky? New research from Peter McGraw, Adam Barsky, and Caleb Warren suggests workplace humour might be too risky to attempt. Research article: https://phys.org/news/2025-09-funny.html MrBeast's Vibe Check: Smart Hiring or Commitment Avoidance? The world's biggest YouTuber has introduced 90-day trial periods for all new hires, complete with temporary housing and rental cars. The goal is testing whether someone can adapt to high-speed, high-stakes production work. Business Insider article: https://www.businessinsider.com/why-mrbeast-vibe-checks-new-hires-2025-10 Truth or Lie? Are Tall People Really More Successfully The verdict: TRUE, but with massive caveats. Research shows height correlates with career success - each inch predicts about £600 more in annual earnings. Since 1900, the taller US presidential candidate has won 81% of elections. But height explains only 7% of earning variation, leaving 93% to actual skills, education, and other factors. The effect operates through perceptual bias (we see tall people as more leader-like), modest correlations with intelligence and health, and self-fulfilling prophecies from being treated like a leader from childhood. Workplace Surgery Real listener questions this week: How do you build a reliable team when you're used to doing everything yourself without losing quality control? What do you do when you have to let someone go even though they're trying their best and improving? How do you keep great people when you can't compete on pay with bigger companies? Mental Health Support This episode discusses workplace stress, burnout, and the impact of digital overload on mental wellbeing. If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health: UK: Samaritans: 116 123 (24/7 helpline) - https://www.samaritans.org/ Mind: 0300 123 3393 or text 86463 - https://www.mind.org.uk/ US: 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988 (24/7) - https://988lifeline.org/ NAMI Helpline: 1-800-950-NAMI (6264) - https://www.nami.org/ International: Befrienders Worldwide: https://www.befrienders.org/ (directory of crisis helplines worldwide) International Association for Suicide Prevention: https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/ (global crisis center directory) Connect with Your Hosts Connect with Al on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thisisalelliott/ Connect with Leanne on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/meetleanne Join the discussion about this episode on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/truthlieswork/ Email: podcast@TruthLiesandWork.com Follow us on Instagram: @truthlieswork Chat with us on X: @truthlieswork YouTube channel: @TruthLiesWork Check us out on TikTok: @truthlieswork Want a chat about your workplace culture? hi@TruthLiesandWork.com Got feedback/questions/guest suggestions? Email podcast@TruthLiesandWork.com

Welcome back to Truth, Lies & Work, the award-winning podcast where behavioral science meets workplace culture. Hosted by Chartered Occupational Psychologist Leanne Elliott and business owner Al Elliott, this episode features Professors Ina Purvanova and Alanah Mitchell, authors of "The New Workplace" and experts who've spent years studying remote, hybrid, and in-office work arrangements. Episode Summary What if hybrid working isn't the best of both worlds, but actually the worst? Professors Ina Purvanova and Alanah Mitchell have mapped nine different work personas - from "officers" who never want to leave the office, to "avatars" who live entirely online, to "integrators" trying to bridge both worlds. Their research reveals that 65% of workers are now aligned with their company's workplace strategy, but that still leaves 35% struggling with misalignment that affects engagement, commitment, and ultimately performance. This conversation explores what happens when work personas collide, why hybrid can create more conflict than clarity, and how leaders can move their teams from misaligned to at least half-aligned without losing their best people. You'll hear heartbreaking stories of young workers describing themselves as "soulless husks" when forced to work remotely, and female executives who prefer office work for unexpected reasons. What We Cover The Nine Work Personas How people fall into categories like "officers," "avatars," and "integrators" based on their workplace preferences Why Hybrid Creates Conflict How hybrid workplaces can become battlegrounds between opposing preferences, with officers and avatars both wanting companies to go fully their way The Alignment Problem Why 65% alignment isn't enough and what happens to the misaligned 35% who stay in jobs that don't suit them Task-Location Fit Moving from "dress for your day" to "locate for your day" based on what tasks you need to accomplish Who Decides the Strategy Whether leaders should set workplace policies or listen to what teams actually want Personas Change Over Time How life stages, from early career to parenthood to late career, can shift your workplace preferences Recruitment Reality Why honest job previews about work arrangements are crucial for avoiding misalignment from day one The Future of Work Predictions for 2050 and why hybrid might win by default Resources The New Workplace book website: https://thenewworkplacebook.com/ Connect with Ina Purvanova on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ina-purvanova/ Connect with Alanah Mitchell on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanah-mitchell/ Mental Health Support The episode discusses some difficult workplace experiences, including feelings of isolation, loneliness, and depression. If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health: UK: Samaritans: 116 123 (24/7 helpline) - https://www.samaritans.org/ Mind: 0300 123 3393 or text 86463 - https://www.mind.org.uk/ US: 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988 (24/7) - https://988lifeline.org/ NAMI Helpline: 1-800-950-NAMI (6264) - https://www.nami.org/ International: Befrienders Worldwide: https://www.befrienders.org/ (directory of crisis helplines worldwide) International Association for Suicide Prevention: https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/ (global crisis center directory) Connect with Your Hosts Connect with Al on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thisisalelliott/ Connect with Leanne on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/meetleanne Join the discussion about this episode on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/truthlieswork/ Email: podcast@TruthLiesandWork.com Follow us on Instagram: @truthlieswork Chat with us on X: @truthlieswork YouTube channel: @TruthLiesWork Check us out on TikTok: @truthlieswork

In this episode of the Joy Lab Podcast, we're not just defining compassion, but we're really getting into its relationship with mental health. We'll start by highlighting the important difference between pain and suffering and then get into how compassion, especially self-compassion, serves as a powerful antidote to ease stress responses. This episode also sets the stage for a 5-part series examining Dr. Gabor Maté's five levels of compassion, starting with ordinary human compassion. We'll dive into lots of practical examples (e.g., when you say something you wish you hadn't) and how to apply compassion. About: The Joy Lab Podcast blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, ease anxiety, and uplift mood. Join Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek for practical, mindfulness-based tools and positive psychology strategies to build resilience and create lasting joy. If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts!   Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram TikTok Linkedin Watch this episode on YouTube     Sources and Notes: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life.  Gabor Mate's website. Dr. Krisitin Neff's website (self-compassion.org).   Full transcript here.    Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

NOTE: This episode contains discussion and themes of suicide and suicide prevention. Within weeks I will publish my first book, TransparentSEE: How I learned to SEE through my journey as a parent of a transgender kiddo . I share a few excerpts with you today as a means of connection and sharing of my story of moving through all of the discomfort that comes with being raw, open and vulnerable.The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention states, “There's no single cause for suicide. Suicide most often occurs when stressors and health issues converge to create an experience of hopelessness and despair.” Efforts that counter loneliness and isolation all point to human connection.  I believe connection is a vital component of suicide prevention, long before a person exhibits warning signs.  I am in no way suggesting this as a quick fix or a replacement for adequate mental health care and being proactive about getting it.Showing up vulnerably is the only way to “true connection.”  Shooting the breeze about what you had for lunch,  how was work/school, or did you see the latest movie aren't going to cut it. Heartfelt, raw and authentic sharing followed by open ended, thoughtful questions is a pathway to true connection. Note that the pathway I am describing is indefinite, different for everyone and subject to your intuition of what is best for you in your situation.As you listen to an excerpt of my story, may your heart be touched and opened to the idea of sharing yours with your loved ones.Sources cited: The Trevor ProjectJohns Hopkins MedicineCrisis Resources:Trevor Project (1-866-488-7386) SAMHSA National Helpline (1-800-662-HELP or 1-800-662-4357) NAMI Helpline (1-800-950-NAMI, or 1-800-950-6264)National Eating Disorder Association Helpline (1-800-931-2237)BlackLine (1-800-604-5841)National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233) StrongHearts Native Helpline (1-844-7-NATIVE, or 1-844-762-8483Deaf Crisis Line (1-321-800-3323)____________________________Register for First Friday's Free coaching and learn other ways to work with me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://paperbell.me/meagan-skidmore⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠meaganskidmorecoaching.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.⁠⁠⁠Please help the podcast grow by following, leaving a 5 star review on Spotify or Apple podcasts and sharing with friends.Living Beyond the Shadow of Doubt™ is a proud member of the Dialogue Podcast Network [⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠DialogueJournal.com/podcasts⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠].Hopeful Spaces, a monthly support group facilitated by Meagan Skidmore Coaching, is a ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dallas Hope Charities⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ component of Hopeful Discussions sponsored by Mercedes-Benz Financial Services USA. Send an email to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠chc@dallashopecharities.org⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to join.

Settle in for this short meditation with Dr. Henry Emmons. The practice involves relaxing and imagining meaningful connections with loved ones, fostering a sense of gratitude, and enriching your web of relationships. Prepare to center yourself, feel your connections, and settle into the belonging that is part of your existence.  About: Cope with stress, anxiety, and depression better with the Joy Lab Podcast. Learn evidence-based mental health practices and mindfulness skills to boost happiness, resilience, and emotional wellbeing.   Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram TikTok Linkedin YouTube   If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts! Sources and Notes: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life. Follow this mediation with one of our episodes on love and self-love: Self-Love and Finding Light in the Darkness (encore) [ep. 226] Self-Love: What It Is (and how it's not narcissism) [ep. 227]   Full transcript here. Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

Join us (Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek) as we explore the differences between self-love and narcissism. We'll dig into some common misconceptions and psychological spectrum of narcissism along with the importance of cultivating genuine self-love. Most importantly, we'll highlight the essential fact that self-love is a skill that can be practiced and is essential for a joyful, meaningful life.  About Joy Lab: Find your joy with the Joy Lab Podcast - practical tools, mindfulness techniques, and positive psychology to help you manage stress, calm anxiety, uplift mood, and live with more meaning and resilience.  If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts!   Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram TikTok Linkedin YouTube   Sources and Notes: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life. Joy Lab Episode about FOBO. Series on authenticity from our Joy Lab podcast: Unmasking Your True Self: Exploring Authenticity and Awe [ep. 216] Embrace Your True Self: Accepted, Connected, & In The Game [ep. 217] The Road Most Travelled: Awakening Through Suffering [ep. 218]  Follow Your Bliss: Awakening to Joy [ep. 219] The Still Small Voice: Awakening with soulfulness [ep. 220] Stephen Fry's website and books. Carlson, E. N., Vazire, S., & Oltmanns, T. F. (2011). You probably think this paper's about you: narcissists' perceptions of their personality and reputation. Journal of personality and social psychology, 101(1), 185–201. Access here. Nook, E. C., Jaroszewski, A. C., Finch, E. F., & Choi-Kain, L. W. (2022). A Cognitive-Behavioral Formulation of Narcissistic Self-Esteem Dysregulation. Focus (American Psychiatric Publishing), 20(4), 378–388. Access here.   Full transcript here. Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.