Complex Trauma Recovery; We Are Traumatized M***********s

We can't prevent trauma, but we can help ourselves prevent long-term disordering in the aftermath. Here's the ultra brief rundown of behaviors to prevent PTSD.

Coming off a natural disaster trauma, let's talk about 47 *practical* ways to rebalance your nervous system.... that aren't all "yoga and breathing deeply."

Taking back the triggers - here's an edited version FOR ALL! A helpful metaphor and some basic trauma-tending advice for every shituation. The brain can't always be trusted - that's when you need a higher perspective from a lower place.

VIDEO (FREEEEEE)Compassion requires protection in the form of relationship-allowing boundaries. read: not relationship-ending rules. What are boundaries, how do we set them, and how do we make sure they're enacted? Talking inner and outer boundaries to separate their shit from yours, so love can exist.

So my CNS has been plugged to a 50amp this week, hburs?Gratefully heard some sounds under the near-full moon that swept a bitta anxiety awayHave an immersive walk and some guided visual breaths with Marcus and meIt's a predawn stroll through waterfalls and frogs, break glass in case of nerves on fireGoin nature zen, Fuckers

A VIDEOMemories detached from the whole -> views too big or too small which lock the brain into patterned behaviors and outcomes. Talking perspective resizing and generational ego acquisitions in our Feb drop.And for all the unfolding expansions? Come check patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers.

ADVANCED THINKIN.Trauma: many outcomes from only a few standard reactions. Let's talk about adoption, avoidance, rigid adherence, and oppositional abandonment in a short drop with many reflection points to help you understand yourself and the nightmares around you. (juk)

It's time! To support ourselves by applying everything we've learned in 5 years of research together. Today: stress utilization. On the market for more applied trauma care? patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers for the community stream

TMFRs 2025 A nu Plan

A FULL LENGTH SHARE! Let's talk about the directions of disassociation and what to do about the pattern of continually ditching this bitch. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

What waits inside your self? STRESS, BIG EMOTIONS, MISALIGNMENTS, AND HUMILIATING MEMORIES, anyone? Let's summarize these stops on our spooktacular self-adventure. VIDEYUM! For the full ride, including DISASSOCIATION, the WHAT'S NEXTS, and FEAR check patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers Happy holiday season ❄️☃️❤️‍

It's that time. Whether you're NC, LC, or BC (bitter contact), it helps to integrate evidence and recognize your personal "ENOUGH." For more help with the holidays, check patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers and find the free Holiday Survival Collection.

"Be with your self undistracted, unphased by negative emotions, and working towards alignment!" Okay bitch, not a good week. Let's talk about aligning after this election.

Being with you... isn't an innate skill after trauma. And yet, we must, or we'll never recover. Take this long treat of an episode to start practicing your self-work.

It's the public summary of our work from the past month! The filthiest words: love yourself.

Back to Basics! What IS the inner work? What's the end goal? How do we do it effectively alongside media? Let's talk about trauma archeology and perspective work.

The Back to Basics series continues! Positive event... Negative reaction. WTTMF? Talkin the rollercoaster of hope, self-sabotage, superstition, narrative and identity disruption in brains built on trauma.

Education and Responsibility are important for t-recovery... But progress peters when self-punishment predominates. Without self-compassion, regression becomes reality. Let's talk about the requirement for self-compassion and 5 ways to do it. Want more help helpin yerself? t-mfrs.com or patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers for the full series

"whoops that's a trauma thought." -all of us. Logical fallacies, overgeneralizations, B&W rulings, toxic positivity; these are brains on t-bullshit.

You asked, I answer. How to overcome shame surrounding traumatic events? I have a bottom-up approach that targets the hell your brain already believes you're living though... so we might as well process, re-evaluate, and recontextualize your worst nightmares, finally freeing up the PFC for conscious sense-making, huh? Huh. Here's that toxic shame post I mentioned from 2022!

When life serves conflictual and confusing information, our brains simplify it to survive... and fuck us over in the long-run. Let's talk about the "ALL GOOD" and "ALL BAD" self-defense mechanisms of Splitting and Projective Identification, what function they serve as children & adults, and how they create shitass trauma-bound lives down the line.

The question that fucks with us all, on both ends of the relationship dynamic. How do we define "abuse"? And how can we spot it in our own lives? Let's redefine it, run through some examples, and ask some Qs that might help you to identify it in your own life. Want to leave a comment? Here's the free Patreon post to share your thoughts. https://www.patreon.com/posts/108753298/

NOTE: This video is part of the Free Membership on Patreon! For the official Patreon post & comments, check here What is it / what isn't Psychosomatic Illness? How does the Brain-Body Painbrow Bridge work? 6 common causes to watch out for. And how to navigate PSI without making it worse.

Finding a practitioner for safe Somatic Experiencing is half the battle. Here are 5 easy S's to use as a guide. Free video version. Subscribe as a free member on patreon to get all the bonus freebies delivered to your inbox! Or choose your tier of choice when you're ready for the 400+ episode backlog of locked posts! Openpath Collective for sliding-scale therapy. https://openpathcollective.org/

The real challenge in Somatic Experiencing? In CPTSD it means "working through the memory of being you." Here are my embodiment tips and tricks, hopefully lending some ideas about how to aid yourself in that effort.

What IS somatic experiencing, and how necessary is it for recovery? It's a complex topic for the complex-PTSDers - let's start the conversation. https://www.patreon.com/posts/106982208/

Ready to learn about the maladaptive tendencies of your most difficult relational partners? When we don't believe we're "entitled" to a need or emotion, we vent it into (unwise) action. Let's discuss the immature cognitive patterns we/others may still be utilizing to keep our brains "safe." We'll cover the lowest level self-defense mechanisms: Acting Out, Help-Rejecting Complaining, and Passive Aggression. Want to learn a lot more about these SDMs? Check the patreon page, where we're talking about each one in depth! Next up: Image-splitting and Object Projection. Toot Toot, all aboard Fuckers. Cheers!

In our last BtB episode I used some poorly-understood words. Let's define "Mindfulness," "MetaCognition," and "Traumatic Training" as we use a common example of a traumatic lesson-turned-maladaptive-habit that rails so many of us: emotions = punishment. Git ready for another holistic discussion of parental shortcomings vs. the human brain vs. societal abuse vs. survival vs. living lives we actually want.

Free to all! It's been pretty "advanced" round here. Let's take ten steps back and outline the 7 pointers everyone REALLY needs to know about PTSD and brain rewiring.

A BONUS for ya, as we start talking about defense mechanisms. We take on roles of employer or employee, and the defense mechanisms that allow us to maintain our assigned roles "for safety" flow from there. CHEERS FUCKERS

We've learned that narcs don't generally recover because of their "creative narration" abilities. Now, let's talk about some of the ways they spin those stories. Today, we start our examination of self-defense mechanisms by looking at the purposes of Intellectualization and Rationalization. Then, we ask the question: SO HOW SMART ARE THEY? And discuss the distinct Thought Processing limitations of both Grandiose and Vulnerable Narcissists. Want the full story? Find the longform episodes on these topics at patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers or check the new subscription stream on Spotify for all recent releases in video form, right on your favorite streaming app! Good to speak to you like a human again... And Cheers, Fuckers!

They'll shake your hand while pissing on your leg, plead and then pulverize promises, and generally give the sense that they're one hundred people who share a face. But why? Let's talk about narcissist personality structuring that ranges from neurotic to psychopathic, but never hits the mark of "maturity." Meanwhile, creating the condition I've titled simply: There is no Integrity without Integration. Into this talk? Come hang out, there's been plenty more at patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers or the new Spotify exclusive subscription option found here.

From the private Patreon stream, a special release epiaode! "Just feel good about yourself!" Great. Except your brain was drafted uponst narratives of self-derogation for 'safety.' So, now what? Let's talk about using the concept of adaptive narcissism and the self-supporting traits it encompasses for parts work... starting with your gd Managers. For more episodes like this and to support this DIY project, check us out.

"Just feel good about your authentic self and don't let anyone wreck your recognition of specialness." Right. Let's talk about what may be holding us back from achieving this safe, centered, self-supportive, resilience-boosting psychological station, and the easiest way to achieve the "healthy self" that's never been otherwise defined. Adaptive Narcissism. Plus, we'll be discussing how AN relates to VN and GN; reiterating the truth that going small with your self is not the answer to trauma recovery.

Why is the decision to sacrifice or save our brains so difficult to make? Let's talk about subconscious narratives we probably all carry, the ambivalence-guilt connection, and the power of perception on caregiving burden. Find the transcript at t-mfrs.com Looking for the 9 full episodes on this topic? Hit up the Filial Obligation Collection on patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers. Need some FilOb support? There's a group coming for that dontchaknow. Stay tuned. Cheers FCKRS. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/complextrauma/message

A big 'nouncement; so long TMFRS! Then let's talk about what constitutes a VulNarc versus "a person with CPTSD." Where does the chronic manipulation come from? How are recovery resources used for trauma-unhealing? What's up with the hostility and antagonism? . Lots to cover in this mashup of "time, space, and energy" meets "VulNarcs" and "trauma-selves." . For even more detail, check the newly updated Narc Collection at Patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers . And thank you again for the past 4 years of gettin nerdy together. See you in the next evolution.

This year we spoke about Intimacy. Now it's time to confront *Intimacy.* Let's look at the discrepant programs that live inside of us, gathered across a lifetime of adaptation to extreme events and unhealthy narratives. We're talking Sexual Healing vs. Internal Family Systems and deprived needs. Need this conversation more than you knew? Check out patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers for the application-heavy episodes, and see what you find out about yourself. While you're there, add a little mutuality to this exchange, by helping to support this DIY healing project. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/complextrauma/message

We're tying up loose ends in our discussion of relationships! Today, discussing the cognitive copy-pastes we accidentally carry out between past and present relationships - and they ways they set us back in our recovery goals while creating abusive dynamics. Need more thoughts about transference in all its forms? I've got another hour of material and an animated vid on this one. Check patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers for more help, or go to t-mfrs.com to get your pubpod transcripts and learn more about the project. Cheers y'all! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/complextrauma/message

Let's cut the brainy shit, the real answer to surviving the holidays is not abandoning yourself. Need more holiday support? Don't we all. For all the other holiday freebies, just hit up patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers. Search "holiday" to find releases from the past for no cost, or subscribe to access the pre-wrangled Holiday Survival Collection for your listening ease. Stay safe, support yourself, and see you soon Fucker! MFJess and Marcus Barkus --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/complextrauma/message

Back to NonViolent Communication! Here are 10 things the experts say destroy our attempts at vulnerable disclosures and requests. Just in time for the holidays, let's talk about why these conversational reactions burn our t-brains and why people are programmed to use them, anyways. For the full transcript and all the doods, check t-mfrs.com and get ready to peruse for hours. To jump into the full-length conversations and deep dives, head over to patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers. And help support this project's continuation while you're there! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/complextrauma/message

We learn to neglect ourselves at an early age and then everything goes to hell forever after. Stuck in unfixable suffering, toiling away with ineffectual attempts to comfort ourselves, and possibly... destroying our own lives, in an attempt to end the self-deprivation through backdoor methods. Let's talk about needs and what happens when we learn there are "required" versus "unallowed" ways we're permitted to care about ourselves. If this show made your eyes get real big, you may want to check out this full episode series. Hit patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers and jump into the "NonViolent Communication Collection" for all the episodes, videos, workbooks, and reflection exercises on self-neglect. And we'll be returning to talking deprivation in a few weeks :) Cheers, Fuckers! Jess --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/complextrauma/message

"Depression is the reward we get for being good children." NVC helps yer relationships, sure. But it'll also rewire your t-brain trashhabits, emotional misunderstandings, and shit perspectives if you use it solo. Let's talk about the roots of the worst of us; our unmet needs and beliefs that deprivation = goodness. Which create vicious cycles of projection, unfulfillment, and relational abuse. Like reading along and looking at scribbles? Find your transcript here, Fucker. Ready to dive headfirst into this conversation, or any of our other topical focuses? Hit up "Collections" of episodes, workbooks, videos, polls, bonuses, and more at patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers. ... and help this one-person operation keep rolling, while you learn.

Ever feel "unheard"? Well, here's the key to getting your point across and sparking collaboration rather than opposition. Today, we're talking about NonViolent Communication (NVC) - the 4 step framework for communicating effectively about emotions and unmet needs without stimulating defensive reactions or leaning on your own deeply ingrained control tactics... And so much more. Wanna transcript and some doods to listen along with? Find it here! Looking to do more than scratch the surface on NonViolent Communication? Check out the new NVC "Collection" as it populates on Patreon! We're wrapping about all the NLP details and recovery implications with whiteboard vids and workbooks, to boot, at patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers. ps - your patronage makes this entire project possible. Thank you, Fuckers. Cheers MFJess --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/complextrauma/message

So, how do we apologize "the right way"... Rather than creating MORE damage through half-assed "I'm sorrys"? Today, let's talk about the 5 points for offering a real apology for sake of true relational healing... And four examples of how NOT to apologize, unless you actually want to make the emotional abandonment experience worse for your partner. Looking for 10 more examples of terrible non-apologies? Hit up the recent episode "Non-Apology Apologies" over at patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers. And fuckle up for NonViolent Communication month, coming at ya in September. For the transcript version of this (and every) episode, go to t-mfrs.com. And do some extra CPTSD learnin while you're there. Cheers, Fuckers! MFJess --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/complextrauma/message

How DO we heal what's been broken? I've got a short phrase for you - it's what we've all needed to hear all along. And let's talk about the timeless wounds patched up by real apologies, as we prepare to talk about shitty apologies next time. Hail yerSelf and Cheers Fuckers. Git the transcript version of this post at t-mfrs.com and check out some doods while you're there. Catch up on the recent downpour of episodes over at patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers and help this one-human DIY project keep spreading the good news about healing. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/complextrauma/message

We all know about the 4 survival Fs at this point. But how about the additional F reactions- Fronting and Feigning? Let's talk about learned reactions that keep us feeling safe in relationship... while rotting out the connection, engaging manipulation tactics, and using fear as a self-defense. Looking for more "real relationship talk"? Well that's the order of the month, over in the private podcast stream. We're dropping four full episodes of "less fluffy" relational conversations, talking about how relationally traumatized partnerships actually tend to shake out... and how to "read them" before you're in too deep. See you there! And cheers, Fuckers! MFJess --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/complextrauma/message

We've talked a lot about committing fully to relationships and overcoming our conflicts together, through examining the subconscious wounds that actually underly our relational upsets. But here's my question: Is that realistic? Today, we talk about getting clearer on the contents of our potential and current relationship partners' preprogramming, through checking our own somatic experiences, our shared trauma histories, and their adaptions to the social systems that raised them. For alllll the relationship x CPTSD details that will reframe how you view other people and yourself... hit patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers and join the private conversation around relearning "healthy relating." Prepare to reflect.

Let's run through a bunch of messages today, and end on a trauma recovery inspired tune - sent by a gifted MF putting their skills to good use for all of us. We'll talk about fearing borderline diagnoses, redesigning life to meet our recovery needs, the utility of journaling and trauma narration, and beyond. Thanks again to Somber Mercy for their share and song submission! Find them at instagram.com/sombermercy If you want to be a part of the Mailbag or Motherfuckers Speaks episodes, send your shiiiiiit to traumatizedmotherfxckers@gmail.com to get on the show, in written or recorded form. Cheers y'all MFJess --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/complextrauma/message

Ever feel like "the issue" isn't really "the issue" in relational conflict? That's because the real issue is buried under layers of protective instincts that keep us unable to fully connect or communicate... but very capable of fighting, endlessly. Let's talk about "conscious relationships" and their trauma recovery utility, as we discuss methods for resolving unescapable conflict detailed by IFS couples therapy practitioners. Hankering for the full details on this relationship recovery talk? Hit up the private community and long-ass episode stream at patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers, and git all the extra bonus resources this month at any subscription level! Then stay tuned for next month, as we get into the "relational real talk" that brings this conversation down to t-earth. See you there! MFJess --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/complextrauma/message

Why do we start close relationships and love connections feeling one way... only to watch them disintegrate, become survival-based, and turn into "resentment"? Let's walk through the easiest explanation ever told; pulling in our Internal Family Systems education to discuss the greatest relational obstacle of them all. Looking for a lot more relational talk? Good news! It's been the theme of 2023 over on the private stream. Check this month's special triple research episode release and get all the extra resources, no matter how you subscribe. See you there, and cheers, Fuckers! MFJess --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/complextrauma/message