Ambition Without Compromise

Ambition Without Compromise

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“What do you truly want?” This is the central question Ambition Without Compromise seeks to dare high-achieving women of color to answer with more boldness, creativity, and radical honesty. Join Monique R. Shields - executive coach, entrepreneur, family woman, and champion of badass moguls in the making - for conversations that meet powerful women at the legacy-altering inflection points in their businesses and careers that cause them to reexamine everything they thought they knew. Monique and her guests will share their stories of how they’ve connected with their True Norths, how they survived their trials, and what becomes possible when a woman boldly claims her unique and uncompromised definition of success. Are you ready? (By the way, if you enjoy Being Boss with Emily Thompson, The Hello Seven Podcast by Rachel Rodgers, Side Hustle Pro with Nicaila Matthews Okome or Glambition Radio by Ali Brown, then you’re in the right place.)

Monique R. Shields


    • May 21, 2025 LATEST EPISODE
    • every other week NEW EPISODES
    • 39m AVG DURATION
    • 61 EPISODES

    Ivy Insights

    The Ambition Without Compromise podcast has been a game-changer for me as I navigate a new career path. With all the uncertainties and doubts that come with transitioning into a different field, this podcast has provided me with the guidance and reassurance I needed to stay on track. Hosted by Monique Shields, it offers valuable insights and perspectives on personal growth and success.

    One of the best aspects of this podcast is how Monique acknowledges the challenges that high achievers face. She recognizes that feeling off-balance and questioning ourselves is a natural part of the growth process. Her honesty and vulnerability in sharing her own experiences make the content relatable and inspiring. It's reassuring to know that others are going through similar struggles, and her advice provides practical steps to overcome them.

    Another great aspect of this podcast is its focus on women of color. Monique's understanding of the unique challenges faced by women in this community shines through in every episode. She offers empowering messages tailored specifically for women of color, pushing them to reach their goals and embrace their ambitions unapologetically. This representation is greatly needed, as it adds depth and nuance to conversations about personal ambition and success.

    In terms of drawbacks, there really aren't many. Some listeners might find certain episodes repetitive or lacking specific action steps. However, overall, the content is engaging, insightful, and inspirational. The length of each episode is just right – not too long that it becomes overwhelming but not too short that it feels incomplete.

    In conclusion, The Ambition Without Compromise podcast is an absolute must-listen for women looking to navigate their careers ambitiously while staying true to themselves. Monique Shields delivers powerful messages with her soothing yet motivating voice, providing concrete advice for black women striving for success. This podcast has become my go-to source for inspiration and strategies to grow both personally and professionally.



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    Latest episodes from Ambition Without Compromise

    60 | Too Busy to Dream: When the Work That Made You Successful Starts Holding You Back

    Play Episode Listen Later May 21, 2025 30:46


    Text Monique directly! Share thoughts, feels or feedback! What if the version of leadership that got you here is the very thing keeping you stuck? It's time to grow and expand—not so you can carry more, but so you can finally live out your dream without the weight that's been holding you back.Join Monique as she speaks directly to high-achieving women like you—navigating the tension between your professional obligations and your personal ambitions. This isn't about finding another tactic or quick fix. It's about shifting your identity, cultivating an abundant mindset, and setting boundaries that protect your time and energy.When you do that, you'll start to reclaim your vision and attract the kind of opportunities that truly align with who you are becoming. Monique's insights and strategies are here to help you break free from what's no longer working and step boldly into the future you know is waiting for you.GEMS DROPPED“You've ​always ​known ​that ​where ​you're ​at ​right ​now ​is ​a ​stepping ​stone ​place. ​And ​​it ​may ​have ​given ​you ​really ​specific important ​things, but it's ​not ​meant ​to ​be your ​forever ​place, ​and ​you ​know ​that.”“Because ​you're ​on ​this ​hamster ​wheel ​every ​day, it diminishes ​your vision, and ​it ​shrinks ​your ​capacity ​to ​exist ​as ​bigger.”“Growing ​your ​skills ​to ​the ​point ​where ​you ​can ​now ​possess ​the ​dream. ​That's ​not ​actually ​how ​it ​works. ​You ​have ​to ​grow, ​expand ​yourself ​so ​that ​you ​begin ​to ​live ​out ​the ​dream. ​You ​begin ​to ​attract ​the ​dream.​ It ​begins ​to ​build ​within ​you ​and ​around ​you ​because ​you're ​operating ​that ​way.”“I ​honestly ​don't ​​care ​who ​it ​is ​that ​is ​listening ​to ​my ​voice ​right ​now. ​If ​you're ​my ​girl and ​you're ​considering ​becoming ​better and expanding ​in ​your ​leadership, ​delegation ​is ​going ​to ​be ​a ​thing ​for ​you. ​Because ​we, ​as ​women, are ​actually ​socialized ​against ​delegation. ​We ​are ​socialized ​to ​show ​up ​for ​everybody ​in ​every ​way, ​for ​everything and ​so ​becoming ​better ​at delegating ​is ​absolutely ​something ​that ​we ​need ​to ​do. ​But ​here's ​the ​problem, getting ​better ​at ​delegating ​or ​delegate ​more ​is ​not ​the ​advice ​you ​need. ​What ​you ​need ​is ​the ​space ​to ​occupy a ​more ​abundant boss ​mindset.”“This ​being ​too ​busy ​to ​connect ​with ​our ​dreams-the ​solving ​for ​the ​busyness, ​it ​does ​have ​to ​happen ​first. ​Like, ​you ​cannot, ​​you're ​not ​going ​to ​connect ​with ​an ​authentic ​dream ​from ​a ​place ​that ​feels rushed ​and ​constrained ​and ​overwhelmed ​and ​tight. ​Like, ​that's ​not ​the ​place ​that ​you ​want ​to ​be ​dreaming ​from. ​So ​we ​do ​have ​to ​solve ​for ​this ​first. But ​what ​I'm ​trying ​to ​say ​is ​that ​the ​solve ​starts ​at ​the ​identity ​level. ​The ​solve ​does ​not ​start ​at ​the ​tactics ​and ​the ​tricks.”“​This ​is ​not ​about ​becoming ​better ​at ​carrying ​all ​these ​things ​that ​are ​just ​too ​much. ​It's ​about ​showing ​up ​in ​a ​way ​that ​protects ​you ​from more ​and ​more ​of ​the ​nonsense, ​and ​shifts ​you ​into ​a ​being ​that ​attracts ​the ​dream.”EPISODES MENTIONEDEp 15: Learning To Dream FirstEp 3: What Are You Playing For?STAY IN TOUCHCome and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com. CLA

    59 | You Don't Need More Time — You Need a New Identity

    Play Episode Listen Later May 7, 2025 42:20


    Text Monique directly! Share thoughts, feels or feedback!

    58 | What Got Me Here: The Real ROI (And Real Costs) Of My Self-Investment Journey

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 23, 2025 44:55


    Text Monique directly! Share thoughts, feels or feedback! In this deeply personal episode, Monique shares the behind-the-scenes story of her biggest self-investments—from surprise trips and $15K coaching programs to community spaces that changed everything. She walks us through the fears, mindset shifts, and identity upgrades that come with choosing yourself.As busy ambitious women, we don't have time to piece together every self-help book and DIY our way to transformation. You don't have to do this alone. Monique is spilling all the tea as she discusses the financial aspects of her investments, the importance of mentorship, and the invaluable lessons learned along the way. This conversation is your reminder that betting on yourself isn't just bold—it's necessary. GEMS DROPPED“I ​want ​to ​be ​a ​solution ​to ​isolation. Self-investment ​is ​one ​less ​thing ​that ​you ​need ​to ​figure ​out ​and ​DIY—to let someone else hold you. This ​is ​how ​I ​have ​been ​held ​and ​continue ​to ​find ​ways ​to ​make ​sure ​that ​I ​am ​held, ​and ​I'm ​making ​sure ​that ​I ​take ​my ​skills ​and ​offer ​it ​to y'all.”“​I ​have a ​firm ​belief that if you are not willing to invest in the thing that you are offering to other people—then what are you doing in that profession?"“​The networks we were building a decade ago may not serve the vision we're trying to live out now. ​It's ​a ​lot ​more ​efficient ​​and ​it's ​a ​lot ​more ​effective to ​be ​in ​community ​with, ​​in ​council ​with ​someone ​or ​some ​group ​that ​gets ​it, ​that ​is ​trying ​to ​do ​the ​same ​or ​very ​similar ​things ​that ​you ​are ​trying ​to ​do.”“​I ​know ​many ​of ​y'all ​listening ​are ​good ​students. ​You're ​like, ‘​I ​can ​learn ​anything. You ​can ​put ​me ​in ​front ​of ​a ​stack ​of ​books, ​baby, and ​I ​will ​read ​the ​research ​papers. ​I ​will ​watch ​all ​the ​videos ​and ​the ​documentaries. ​I ​know ​how ​to ​learn ​things'. ​It ​is ​not ​the ​same ​thing ​as ​forming ​a ​whole new ​self -concept.​ That ​requires ​relationship, that ​requires ​a ​new ​environment, it ​requires ​challenging ​limiting ​beliefs ​and ​somebody ​that ​can ​help ​you ​see ​your ​blind ​spots. ​If ​you ​want ​to ​do ​that ​with ​speed ​and ​not ​isolated, ​​it's ​available ​to ​you.”STAY IN TOUCHCome and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com.

    57 | The Less I Do The More I Get Done: Finding Rest As We Work

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 9, 2025 52:51


    Text Monique directly! Share thoughts, feels or feedback! Are you feeling overwhelmed and overworked? In our latest episode, Monique explores the transformative power of rest and how it can revolutionize your productivity.Drawing inspiration from a recent gathering of high-achieving Black women, she addresses the overwhelming exhaustion that often accompanies leadership roles, motherhood, and societal pressures. Monique also introduces seven actionable steps to help us combat overwhelm and create meaningful space in our lives. From fostering community support to establishing clear priorities and making time visible, she provides a roadmap for reclaiming control over our schedules.Tune in now to discover how rest can be your greatest ally in achieving your goals!GEMS DROPPED"We ​point ​to ​time ​management ​just ​because ​it ​is a ​buzz ​phrase for when things start to feel out of whack, when your focus is too scattered and spread. You look back over a day or a month and think: I was busy and ​I ​know ​I ​got ​some ​things ​done, but what just happened? And ​why ​do ​I ​feel ​like ​nothing ​is ​getting ​done although ​I'm ​doing ​all ​of ​the ​things? What ​this ​actually ​ends ​up ​boiling ​down ​to ​is ​less ​about ​time ​management and ​more ​about ​the ​courage ​to ​actually ​stop ​everything. An ​aggressive ​stop can feel impossible. It can feel indulgent.”"With growth comes breaking. When something new is born, something else has to die. ​And ​taking ​account ​of ​that ​and ​anticipating ​it ​ahead ​of ​time, ​before ​you're ​too ​broken ​to ​pull ​yourself ​back ​together. ​That's a ​tough ​practice."“For ​my women ​of ​color ​and ​moms, ​the ​courage ​​to ​stop ​everything ​feels ​like ​we're ​taking ​something ​away ​from ​someone ​else. ​To ​stop ​for ​ourselves ​feels ​like ​theft. ​To rest can feel spoiled, privileged, or entitled—but that belief is cultural conditioning. We've been trained to demonize the part of us that wants to rest, that needs a break. If you're not producing, then who are you? What are you worth? That lie holds us back. What ​I've ​discovered is the less I do, the more I get done. And ​I ​want ​to ​offer ​that ​to ​you ​today. ​The ​less ​you ​do,  ​the ​more ​you ​can ​get ​done. ​”“Stopping for yourself is not selfish—it's strategy. Build a practice that includes rest, not as a reward, but as part of the process."“​When ​we ​give ​ourselves ​away, ​we ​give ​our ​energy ​and ​our ​time ​away ​for ​other ​people ​to ​control, ​for ​other ​people ​to ​tell ​us ​what ​we ​can ​and ​should ​do ​with ​our ​time ​and ​our ​energy. There's a ​cost. And ​you're ​probably ​suffering ​that ​cost ​if ​this ​is ​the ​existence ​that ​you're ​in ​right ​now ​where ​you're ​not ​creating ​aggressive ​space ​for ​yourself.”“Whether ​you ​work ​for ​yourself ​or ​you ​work ​for ​someone ​else, ​​it's ​incredibly ​important ​to ​create ​sacred ​space ​for ​yourself and ​to ​do ​so ​as ​aggressively ​as ​you ​possibly ​can ​​and ​to ​hold ​it ​​firm. ​Do ​not ​let ​others ​in. Not ​only ​can ​you ​not ​let ​other ​people ​onto ​your ​calendar, ​you ​can't ​let ​your ​little ​productivity ​self ​in ​either. Focus ​on ​what ​you ​need ​and ​what ​those ​priorities ​are ​and ​let ​it ​flow.”STAY IN TOUCHCome and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com. 

    56 | Creating Space For Motherhood As A Leader

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 26, 2025 35:43


    Text Monique directly! Share thoughts, feels or feedback! Motherhood is a transformative journey that ambitious women in leadership find themselves contemplating. For many, the thought of becoming a mother can evoke feelings of fear and uncertainty. How will this new role affect my professional impact? Will I lose my sense of self? These are common concerns, and in this episode, Monique addresses them head-on, offering insights and encouragement for those navigating this complex decision.  Join in as she candidly shares her own experiences and the profound changes that come with stepping into this new identity. And the importance of defining what motherhood means to you, identifying the resources you need to thrive, and embracing the support of your community.

    55 | When You Do The Most But Expect The Least: Letting Go Of Shrinking Yourself

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 12, 2025 24:37


    Text Monique directly! Share thoughts, feels or feedback! This week's episode dives into self-love and transformation! Join Monique as she discusses the importance of recognizing your worth and embracing your true self. Inspired by a profound coaching conversation with a client, she explores the concept of being "low maintenance" and its detrimental effects on women, particularly women of color. Monique unpacks the societal pressures that lead us to minimize our needs and accomplishments, urging us to embrace our bigness and the unique contributions we bring to the world.This episode is a call to action for all women to acknowledge our worth, celebrate our achievements, and demand the support we deserve. Press play to start your journey to break free from the limitations of self-doubt and step into your full power.

    54 | The Giver, The Grinder & The Pleaser: Rethinking Success

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 26, 2025 36:27


    Text Monique directly! Share thoughts, feels or feedback! Is the pursuit of success weighing you down? In this episode, Monique uncovers how ambition can sometimes come at the cost of our deepest dreams.Listen in as she shares compelling stories of women balancing leadership, motherhood, and personal fulfillment. Through the lens of the 'Giver,' the 'Grinder,' and the 'Pleaser,' she reveals how these identities shape our paths—both fueling and restricting us.Tune in to learn how to break free from outdated roles, redefine success on your terms, and step into a future of authentic fulfillment.

    53 | The Safety Shift: Trusting Yourself in Times of Transformation

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 12, 2025 37:36


    Text Monique directly! Share thoughts, feels or feedback! In today's fast-paced world, the pressure to conform to a certain image of success can be overwhelming. Many of us are familiar with the archetype of the "4am CEO," a figure that embodies relentless ambition and productivity. But what happens when this pursuit of success starts to overshadow our true selves? In this week's episode, Monique dives into the journey of identity evolution and the fears that accompany significant life changes. Building on her previous discussions about identity leaps, she reflects on the critical moments when we find ourselves on the brink of transformation, yet held back by fears surrounding safety and acceptance.Join in as Monique guides us through the transformative process of letting go, embracing new identities, and ultimately finding peace in the pursuit of our authentic self.

    52 | Making The Scary Identity Leap

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 29, 2025 33:02


    Text Monique directly! Share thoughts, feels or feedback! Are you standing at the edge of a new chapter, feeling the pull of transformation, yet held back by invisible barriers? Join Monique as she uncovers the secrets to navigating identity shifts and breaking free from the self-doubt that keeps us stuck. Explore the thought-provoking questions that often paralyze progress, like 'Am I truly capable?' and 'Is this the right moment?' Through fresh insights and actionable strategies, Monique helps you reframe those doubts into empowering questions that inspire clarity, courage, and momentum on your journey of becoming.

    51 | Monique's 2024 Reflections: Money, Motherhood & Mental Health + What's Next!

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 15, 2025 48:35


    Text Monique directly! Share thoughts, feels or feedback! In this episode, Monique shares her personal process for annual reflection, offering insights into how she evaluates the past year and sets intentions for the year ahead with clarity and purpose. Tune in to discover how embracing feminine energy and becoming more emotionally available can transform your approach to goal setting and personal growth. As you listen to this episode, you'll be inspired to reflect on your own journey and consider how you can set intentions that align with your values and aspirations. Happy New Year, and here's to a year of intentional living and personal growth!

    50 | Top 5 Episodes Since Launching AWC

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 1, 2025 39:04


    NEW! Click here to text Monique directly with any thoughts, feels or feedback ... seriously, it goes directly to herWelcome 2025 with us as we celebrate our 50th podcast episode!

    49 | Whose Permission Are You Seeking?

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 18, 2024 27:36


    NEW! Click here to text Monique directly with any thoughts, feels or feedback ... seriously, it goes directly to herHave you ever felt the pull to close one chapter of your life and start a new one, only to be held back by an invisible ball and chain? This episode tackles the heart of that struggle, exploring how we can make meaningful shifts in how we work, live, and perceive ourselves. Join Monique on this live broadcast episode as she discusses how to break free from old identities, embrace personal evolution, and seek permission from within. Tune in for a transformative conversation that challenges you to rethink the rules you've lived by and invites you to create from a place of artistry and authenticity.

    48 | Learning How To Choose Instead Of Saying Yes To Everything

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 4, 2024 37:42


    NEW! Click here to text Monique directly with any thoughts, feels or feedback ... seriously, it goes directly to herIn a world where success is often defined by external benchmarks and societal expectations, Monique invites us to pause and reflect on the art of intentional living. Tune in as Monique shares her personal framework, "Nature, Nurture, Navigate," guiding us to understand our inherent strengths and make choices that resonate with our true self. Press play now to learn how aligning your actions with your core values can lead to a more fulfilling and abundant life. This is the first step into a life of intentional living. Listen now!

    47 | When Ambition Meets Stillness: Finding Strength in Slowing Down

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 20, 2024 35:03


    NEW! Click here to text Monique directly with any thoughts, feels or feedback ... seriously, it goes directly to herAre you feeling ungrounded or disconnected from your true self? Our latest episode takes you on a transformative journey of self-discovery through therapy, journaling, and meditation. Join Monique as she takes us on an unscripted journey, sharing raw and real insights fresh from a therapy session, where the realization dawned that the key to feeling grounded lies in embracing our past and present selves.Through insightful reflections and a powerful grounding exercise experienced at a recent retreat, Monique challenges the notion of productivity-driven meditation and journaling, advocating instead for a return to the simple, joyful practices of being in nature and embracing the present moment.This episode is a heartfelt call to action for those feeling detached from their inner selves, offering a fresh perspective on finding balance between our adult responsibilities and the wisdom of our inner child. Tune in now to explore your own relationship with stillness, play, and the simple pleasures of life.MENTIONEDSpelman CollegeBarnes and NobleGEMS DROPPED“Sometimes ​you're ​in ​a ​moment, ​you're ​having ​realizations,in real ​time, and ​trying ​to ​architect,organize, and ​package ​it ​is ​just ​going ​to ​kind ​of ​ruin ​it. ​And ​it ​just ​needs ​to ​be ​raw, ​it ​needs ​to ​be ​real.”“The ​thing ​is ​never ​the ​thing ​y'all. ​There's ​something ​that's ​running ​beneath ​it ​that ​is ​keeping you ​from ​doing ​whatever ​activity ​or ​habit ​or ​ritual ​or ​behavior ​it ​is ​that ​you ​want ​to ​exhibit ​or ​want ​to ​stop ​exhibiting. It's ​not ​about ​the ​behavior ​itself. ​It ​is ​about ​something ​else ​that ​is ​running ​beneath ​it.”“I ​always ​had ​my ​diary. ​It ​was ​a ​companion ​and ​it ​was ​a ​way ​that, ​I ​not ​only ​just ​consolidated ​my ​thoughts ​or ​processed my ​emotions, ​but ​it ​was ​a ​way ​that ​I ​connected ​with ​myself. ​It ​was ​like ​a ​part ​of ​a ​relationship ​that ​I ​had ​with ​myself. ​It ​was ​a ​trusted ​anchor, ​​and ​an ​expression ​of ​my ​own ​rootedness.”“The ​aspects ​of ​how ​journaling ​used ​to ​show ​up ​for ​me ​when ​I ​was ​younger and what ​was ​so ​grounding ​and ​beautiful ​about ​it ​was ​that ​there ​was ​no ​adult ​pressure. ​There ​was ​no ​pressure ​period ​on ​it.”“For ​those ​of ​you ​who ​are ​craving stillness, who ​feel ​like ​the ​relationship ​that ​you ​once ​had ​with ​yourself, where ​there ​​was ​space ​for ​no ​strings ​attached, ​no ​pressure, ​no ​expectations, where  ​you can ​just ​be ​and ​let ​your ​feelings ​flow. ​It's ​like ​you ​get ​to ​experience ​the ​fullness ​of ​yourself. ​To experience that again, make ​space ​for ​this ​other ​part ​of ​yourself, ​your inner child.”​STAY IN TOUCHCome and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com. 

    46 | Balancing Success and Personal Legacy with Former Blavity.org ED Tamyra Gordon

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 6, 2024 66:57


    NEW! Click here to text Monique directly with any thoughts, feels or feedback ... seriously, it goes directly to herJoin Monique for an enlightening conversation with Tamyra Gordon as she shares her journey of intentional living, homeschooling and legacy building.Tamyra, also known as Tammy, is a public historian whose work serves as a powerful reclamation of Black history, identity, and legacy. With over 18 years of experience in education, historic preservation, workforce development, and public programming, she is more than just an executive; she is a steward of ancestral stories.Tune in as we explore Tamyra's path and learn how she continues to build and nurture her legacy with courage and heart. Her wisdom and experiences offer valuable guidance for anyone looking to live a life of purpose and impact. GUEST INFOTamyra Gordon, former and founding Executive Director of Blavity.org and the current Founder of Your Legacy Tours | Website | Instagram (Tamyra) | Instagram (Legacy Tours) | Instagram (Greenwood Seneca) | LinkedInMENTIONEDAssociation of African American MuseumsGEMS DROPPED“There's ​something ​really ​special ​and ​important ​about ​recognizing ​that building ​a ​relationship ​with ​our ​little ​selves and our ​former ​selves.The ​different ​essence ​is ​the ​part ​that ​we ​get ​to ​reconnect ​with,celebrate ​and ​honor, ​but ​also ​giving ​room ​for ​the fact that our little ​nine ​year ​old ​selves will ​never ​exist ​exactly ​in ​the ​same ​format ​that ​she ​did ​back ​then. So ​even ​as ​we ​reimagine ​our ​younger ​selves ​now ​and ​engage ​with ​that ​essence ​and energy ​and ​help ​leverage ​it ​as ​best ​we ​can ​that she ​gets ​to ​grow ​and ​evolve ​and ​morph ​as ​we're ​growing, ​evolving, ​and ​morphing. ​It's ​not ​like ​this ​static ​thing. ​​I ​think ​that ​that's ​really ​important ​because ​that ​speaks ​to ​the ​beauty ​and ​the ​messiness ​of ​it ​all.” - Monique R. Shields“Legacy is ​less ​about ​generational ​wealth ​and ​what's ​the ​hand ​down, ​and ​what ​are ​the ​things ​that ​we ​sort ​of ​get ​as ​part ​of ​being ​tied ​to ​someone ​else's ​legacy. ​Really, ​it's ​just ​like, ​are ​we ​leaving ​this ​place ​any ​better ​than ​we ​found ​it and ​​can ​the ​people ​who ​are ​left ​to ​tell ​our ​story ​actually ​articulate ​that? ​Did ​we ​live ​a ​life ​that ​our ​values, ​that ​our ​beliefs, ​that ​our ​actions are ​aligned ​to ​all ​those ​things ​that ​we ​said ​that ​we ​cared ​about? ​Did ​people ​feel ​better ​after ​being ​in ​my ​presence ​and ​being ​around ​me ​than they ​did ​not being ​around? ​​Did ​I ​honor ​people ​who ​would ​otherwise ​be ​forgotten and not let to work ​and ​other ​things ​sort ​of ​distract ​from ​those ​moments ​where ​you ​can ​pull ​in ​people ​into ​the ​fabric ​of ​how ​we ​live ​today. ​​In ​my ​mind, ​that's ​the ​legacy. That's ​how ​​​I'm ​thinking ​about ​it ​today. ​I'm ​also ​open ​to ​the ​idea ​of ​what ​that ​looks ​like ​continuing ​to ​mature ​and ​evolve ​with ​me ​and ​how ​I ​sort ​of ​see ​​the ​babies ​keeping ​and ​thinking ​about ​legacy, ​because ​that ​will ​also ​matter. But ​for ​right ​now, ​it's ​keeping ​things ​alive ​that ​I ​think ​matter ​at ​the ​end.” - Tamyra Gordon  STAY IN TOUCHCome and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so se

    45 | How To Actually Prioritize Rest: What I've Learned To Do

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 23, 2024 55:25


    NEW! Click here to text Monique directly with any thoughts, feels or feedback ... seriously, it goes directly to herThis episode is a delightful reflection on Monique's recent family trip to Australia and the valuable lessons she learned about balancing ambition with rest. Monique takes us through her journey of stepping away from her solopreneur business to embrace a much-needed break, all while maintaining the essence of her work and personal life. She shares insights on how to create space in your life for rest and recovery, even when you're running a business that thrives on personal connections.Monique also dives into the practices that have enabled her to take extended breaks without compromising her business. She discusses the importance of viewing rest as an asset, studying your own rhythms, setting a vision and plan, and getting the right support. For anyone contemplating a sabbatical, a big trip, or simply more spaciousness in their daily life, this episode is packed with actionable advice and inspiration.Press play now to discover how to integrate rest into your entrepreneurial journey and emerge with renewed energy and clarity. MENTIONED42 | Committing To Success That Heals You With Marla TeyoliaGEMS DROPPED“You ​have ​to ​decide ​that ​rest ​is ​an ​asset ​and ​not ​a ​liability.”“We ​have ​to ​acknowledge ​that ​something ​is ​not ​congruent ​and ​that ​we ​actually ​have ​to ​step ​into ​a ​true ​valuing ​of ​rest, ​of ​space, ​not ​with ​the ​deep ​undercurrent ​of ​guilt ​that ​comes ​along ​with ​not ​constantly ​being ​productive. ​We ​have ​to ​see ​the ​relationship, ​like, ​truly ​feel ​the ​relationship ​between ​rest ​and ​productivity ​as ​one ​that ​is ​harmonious.”“Conceptually, ​it's ​easy ​to ​understand ​that ​rest ​is ​good ​for ​you, but ​my ​behaviors ​over ​time ​are ​not ​necessarily ​lining ​up ​with ​that ​understanding. ​So ​I ​want ​to ​shift ​us ​from ​understanding ​to ​belief.”“We ​are ​wrapped ​up ​in ​so ​many ​systems ​that ​tell ​us ​that ​if ​we ​ever ​stop ​moving, ​that ​we ​will ​be ​overtaken ​and ​destitute ​and ​just ​out ​of ​the ​game, ​​that ​we ​will ​be ​fighting ​for ​our ​lives ​to ​feed ​ourselves ​and ​to ​be ​relevant. ​No ​matter ​how ​much ​money ​you ​have ​that ​track ​can ​be ​running ​in ​the ​background ​still pushing ​you ​to ​do ​more ​than ​what ​you ​need ​to ​be ​doing. ​And ​so ​I ​don't ​mean ​to in ​any ​way ​make ​light ​of ​this, ​but ​we ​have ​to ​kind ​of ​get ​real ​with ​how ridiculous ​it ​actually ​is ​and ​that ​it ​is ​not ​a ​narrative ​of ​our ​making. ​It ​is ​a ​narrative ​driven ​purely ​out ​of capitalism.”“I'd ​given ​myself ​over ​to ​this ​season ​of ​rest, ​and ​it ​gave ​me ​the ​proof ​after ​going ​through ​that, ​that ​abundance ​can ​be ​possible ​for ​you ​when ​you ​treat ​yourself ​abundantly.When ​you ​treat ​yourself ​with ​scarcity, you ​cannot ​be ​surprised ​when ​your ​results ​are ​scarce.““We ​cannot ​always ​be ​sowing ​seeds. ​Sometimes ​we ​need ​time ​for ​the ​stuff ​to ​grow. ​Sometimes ​we ​need  ​time ​for ​the ​stuff ​to ​wilt ​and ​die so ​that ​it ​has ​the ​energy ​to regrow in ​a ​new ​season. ​You ​cannot ​always ​be ​on, ​you ​cannot ​always ​be ​doing, ​you ​cannot ​always ​be ​giving ​because ​​you're ​going ​to ​reap ​really ​weak crops ​or ​it'll ​be ​the ​wrong ​crop.”STAY IN TOUCHCome and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com. 

    44 | Submitting To Hard Changes In A New Season

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 9, 2024 51:22


    NEW! Click here to text Monique directly with any thoughts, feels or feedback ... seriously, it goes directly to herAre you navigating a season of change? This episode is here to provide inspiration and guidance.Join in as Monique revisits a transformative period in her life, reflecting on a throwback episode from her earlier audio newsletter series, "Letters from Monique." She shares insights from her journey of allowing herself to be changed, especially during significant life transitions like the birth of her second child and the early seeds of this very podcast. She also emphasizes the importance of allowing oneself to be changed, the power of community, and the necessity of support and presence.Monique dives deep into the messy and beautiful process of change, offering a raw and honest account of her experiences. Whether you're in a season of transition or just seeking inspiration to embrace change, this episode is dropping gems. So, grab your tea, journal, and a cozy spot as Monique takes you on a journey through personal evolution, resilience, and the beauty of embracing change. Enjoy, and may this episode meet you exactly where you need to be met.GEMS DROPPED“You ​can't ​want ​change ​without ​permitting ​yourself ​to ​be ​changed.”“Our ​thoughts ​are ​anchored ​upon ​ ​the ​changes ​that ​we ​get ​to ​experience ​externally, but ​what ​has ​to ​happen ​internally ​we undersell, ​we ​undershoot, ​and ​oftentimes, we ​don't ​fully ​anticipate ​because ​it's ​something ​that's ​new. So ​you're ​not really ​able ​to  ​preemptively anticipate ​what ​those ​internal ​changers ​are. So ​to ​be ​changed ​is ​something ​that is ​easy ​to ​struggle ​with.”“We ​want ​the ​external ​product ​of ​change, we ​want ​the ​external ​experiences ​of ​change, but ​it's ​not ​all ​upside ​to ​get ​there. ​​It ​can't ​be. There ​has ​to ​be ​some pain. ​And ​I'm ​not ​gonna ​say, ​full ​on ​suffering, ​necessarily, but ​pain, ​loss, ​absolutely. ​And ​this ​comes ​with ​any ​kind ​of ​change.”“When ​we ​ask ​for ​change ​be ​ready ​for ​everything ​that ​comes ​with ​that, ​but ​also ​recognize ​the ​beauty ​in ​it.”“Permitting ​ourselves ​to ​be ​changed ​is ​to ​​permit ​ourselves ​to ​have ​permission ​to ​change,  ​to ​have ​permission ​to ​create ​in ​the ​midst ​of ​change, ​to ​have ​permission ​to ​re​envision, ​to ​pivot, ​to ​shift, ​to ​reimagine, ​to ​want ​differently. And ​it ​requires ​support. ​I ​think ​for ​most ​of ​us, ​particularly ​so ​for ​women, ​we ​are ​so ​practiced ​at ​not permitting ​ourselves to ​want, ​to ​create,​to ​build ​freely, ​ ​unapologetically, ​and ​inviting ​in ​the ​support ​to ​do ​that. ​And ​not ​even ​the ​support ​to ​do ​that, ​but ​also ​just ​making ​sure ​that we are ​part ​of ​​communities ​where ​that ​was ​heralded ​and ​encouraged ​and ​modeled. It ​means ​everything.”“It ​is ​very ​easy ​to ​scale ​back ​on ​our ​self ​investments ​when ​we ​think ​we ​can't ​produce ​as ​much, ​or ​we ​think ​that, ​like, ​oh, ​I'm ​stepping ​into ​a ​season ​of ​less. ​So ​then ​we ​start ​giving ​ourselves ​less. ​Girl, ​you're ​doing ​the ​opposite ​of ​what ​needs ​to ​happen. This ​is ​a ​season ​where ​we ​give ​ourselves ​more,much, ​much ​more.”“If ​you ​want ​change, ​you ​have ​to ​permit ​myself ​to ​be ​changed. ​So ​ask yourself, what ​needs ​to ​be ​true ​in ​this ​next ​season ​in ​order ​for ​you ​to ​get ​prepared ​for ​that ​season​? There's ​a ​new ​version ​of ​you ​that ​is ​waiting.”​STAY IN TOUCHCome and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com. 

    43 | Rebooting Social Media Boundaries As A Business Owner: What I Had To Do

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 25, 2024 41:52


    NEW! Click here to text Monique directly with any thoughts, feels or feedback ... seriously, it goes directly to herIn this episode, Monique takes us on a journey through her relationship with social media. She dives into an ongoing experiment that is reshaping her life, work, and well-being. Instead of waiting until the end of this process, Monique brings you into the messy middle, sharing her live experiences, feelings, and the steps she's taking to reclaim her time and attention. Join Monique as she unpacks the psychological and emotional layers of her social media detox, offering valuable insights that might just inspire you to rethink your own digital habits. Grab your tea, take some notes, and let's dive in together.GEMS DROPPED“I ​too, ​grapple ​with ​my ​relationship ​to ​technology, ​specifically ​that ​of ​social ​media. ​And ​I'm ​in ​the ​middle ​of ​an ​experiment ​that ​impacts ​my ​life, ​my ​work, ​my ​wellbeing, ​my ​relationships ​regarding ​social ​media.”“We ​are ​going ​to ​reclaim ​our ​time. ​We ​are ​going ​to ​reclaim ​our ​attention. That ​is ​of ​high, ​high ​value ​to ​me, ​especially ​in ​this ​transitional ​season ​where ​I ​am ​really ​focusing ​down ​and ​redirecting ​my ​path ​with ​some ​new ​intention. ​And ​this (social media) ​cannot ​be ​a ​thing ​that ​stands ​in ​the ​way.“​“I ​was ​actually ​really ​surprised ​by ​the ​release ​​that ​I ​felt (with unfollowing every account on IG). ​It ​felt ​like ​a ​real ​releasing, ​a ​relinquishing ​of ​something… ​something ​relieving ​and ​easeful.”“Baby, ​I ​got ​goals and, ​[social media] cannot ​be ​a ​thing ​that ​stands ​in ​the ​way. ​This ​cannot ​be ​a ​thing ​that ​feels ​like ​it's ​clogging ​up ​my ​brain. … a ​top ​line ​​goal ​for ​all ​of ​this ​was ​to ​build ​belief ​that ​I ​could ​feel ​in ​control ​of ​technology ​that ​I ​claim ​to ​use ​for ​my ​business ​and ​engage ​in ​for ​some ​entertainment ​and ​connection ​and ​stuff ​as ​well, but ​for ​its ​primary ​use, ​which ​for ​me, is ​to ​be ​a ​tool ​to ​amplify ​the ​messaging ​of ​my ​business, ​to ​make ​sure ​I'm ​reaching ​people ​with ​my ​message.““Social ​media ​can ​serve ​as ​this ​passive ​proxy ​for ​connection ​that ​does ​not ​exist and ​it ​keeps ​you ​in ​a ​state ​of ​inaction, ​of ​actually ​creating the ​thing ​you ​want, ​which ​is ​real ​connection.”STAY IN TOUCHCome and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com. 

    42 | Committing To Success That Heals You with Transformational Healer & Coach Marla Teyolia

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 11, 2024 49:48


    NEW! Click here to text Monique directly with any thoughts, feels or feedback ... seriously, it goes directly to herWelcome back, good people! This episode is a special treat as we welcome the inspiring Marla Teyolia, a seasoned transformational coach with over two decades of experience. Marla's expertise lies in executive presence development, enhancing communication skills, career growth, and team expansion, all while preserving core values and personal authenticity. Her holistic approach integrates mindfulness, meditation, and yoga practices, making her coaching a transformative experience.In this episode, we dive deep into Marla's journey, from her early work in the field of domestic violence to her current role in empowering leaders. We explore how she balances her deeply spiritual practices with her work in high-powered corporate spaces, and how she navigates the dance between personal freedom and family commitments.Marla shares profound insights on the importance of reconnecting with our humanity, the power of breathwork, and the necessity of decolonizing our vision of success. This conversation is a powerful reminder that our true power lies within, and that by tending to our spirit, we can navigate any space with grace and strength.Join us for this enlightening conversation and discover how you can embrace your inner power and live a life aligned with your deepest values.GEMS DROPPED“Nothing ​about ​the ​fuckery ​that ​I ​was ​experiencing ​shifted, ​but ​I ​had ​shifted. ​And ​that's ​when ​I ​realized, ​oh, ​my ​liberation ​is ​an ​inside ​job, ​first ​and ​foremost. And ​then ​when ​I ​feel ​strong ​and ​powerful ​and ​I ​feel ​free, ​then ​I ​can ​actually ​do ​the ​work ​I'm ​here ​to ​do ​in ​a ​way ​that's ​fully ​aligned ​and ​isn't ​coming ​from ​a ​place ​of ​lack ​or ​trauma, ​but ​it's ​coming ​from ​a ​place ​of ​power.” - Marla Teyolia“We ​have ​a ​western ​way ​of ​thinking ​where ​it's ​like, ​medicine ​is ​an ​external ​thing ​that ​you ​take ​into ​your ​body ​to ​help ​you to solve a problem. But ​your ​relationship ​to ​your ​inner ​spiritual ​awareness ​and ​connectedness ​is at your core and is your medicine. The ​medicine ​is ​inside. Making ​your ​medicine ​your ​lifeline has ​to ​start ​from ​there ​and ​everything ​else ​flows ​from ​that.” - Monique R. Shields“The strength ​that ​comes ​from ​knowing. ​First ​of ​all, ​what ​you ​value ​most-​family, ​freedom, etc- there's ​no ​perfect ​static ​place ​that ​you ​arrive ​to ​that ​just ​stays ​that ​way. There's ​always ​this ​constant ​dancing ​trade ​off. When ​you ​think ​about ​doing ​that ​dance, we ​will ​cannibalize ​the ​things ​that ​matter ​most. And ​it's ​not ​like ​your ​family ​always ​gets ​the ​best ​of ​you ​or ​your ​work ​always ​gets, ​you ​know, ​100% ​of ​the ​time, ​all ​the ​time. ​But ​there ​are ​other ​things ​outside ​of ​what ​matters ​most. ​And ​it's ​like ​focus ​on ​cannibalizing ​that.” - Monique R. Shields GUEST LINKSLearn more about Marla Teyolia, Exec Coach + Advisor to BIPOC Visionary Leaders | Website | Instagram | LinkedIn | Tik TokSTAY IN TOUCHCome and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com. 

    41 | What to Do When Your Vision Is Changing

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 28, 2024 46:58


    NEW! Click here to text Monique directly with any thoughts, feels or feedback ... seriously, it goes directly to herHave you ever found yourself feeling stuck, even though you've accomplished everything you set out to do? Life is full of subtle shifts and changes that can catch us off guard, leaving us feeling lost or in limbo. As high achievers, we can sometimes be so focused on our goals that we miss the subtle shifts happening around us. In this episode, we'll explore how to recognize and adapt to these seasonal transitions, ensuring that our dreams expand and contract with grace. Whether you're a CEO, entrepreneur, or someone in the midst of a personal transition, this episode offers valuable guidance to help you align with your next season.Join in as we explore the importance of acknowledging shifts, seeking trusted perspectives, and giving yourself the grace to grow.MENTIONED15 | Learning To Dream First (CEO Series)GEMS DROPPED“Dealing with seasonal ​transition ​in ​our ​life ​means ​to ​have ​a ​life ​that ​is ​ever ​moving, ​​ever ​changing, ​and ​responding ​to ​those ​changes, …getting ​what ​we ​need ​out ​of ​the ​seasons ​that ​we're ​in, ​not ​fighting ​the ​seasons ​that ​we're ​in.All of ​those ​things ​are ​going ​to ​come ​up, but, ​I ​think ​part ​of ​where ​we ​hit ​the ​rough ​edges ​is ​we ​don't ​realize ​that ​a ​season ​has ​changed ​until ​it's ​too ​late. ““It's ​hard ​to ​detect ​that​ ​something ​is ​off because ​the ​really ​tricky ​thing ​about ​it ​is ​that ​things ​aren't ​actually ​​broken.”“​I ​don't ​think ​​we ​spend ​enough ​time ​talking ​about ​what ​it's ​like ​to ​navigate ​the ​murky ​waters ​of - not ​just ‘​I ​set ​the ​vision,' ‘​I ​set ​the ​mission,' ‘I ​walked ​the ​path,' and ‘​I'm ​accomplishing ​the ​things ​I ​said ​I ​wanted ​to ​do' and ​now ​something ​is ​wavering, ​something ​is ​shaky.”“​Dreams move. ​They pivot and change course but our ​dreams also ​expand ​and ​contract ​through ​different ​seasons. When ​something ​contracts, ​usually ​everything ​comes ​closer ​together ​and ​you ​become ​more ​compact. ​There's ​no ​more ​or ​less ​material ​there. ​It's ​just that ​we ​are ​more ​focused, ​​and ​only ​going ​to ​do ​a ​certain ​number ​of ​things. ​And when ​ ​we ​have ​a ​little ​more ​heat–​think ​of ​that ​as ​energy ​or ​capacity …​then ​that ​same ​dream ​gets ​to ​expand.”“Sometimes ​we ​will ​wake ​up ​in ​the ​middle ​of ​a ​season ​​that ​is ​basically ​trying ​to ​end. I ​had ​to ​wake ​up ​to ​the ​fact ​that ​my ​season ​had ​shifted. Now ​I'm ​in ​a ​season ​where ​all ​these ​doors ​are ​open, ​and ​I ​get ​to ​choose ​which ​door ​I ​want ​to ​walk ​through. ​Initially, ​the ​prospect ​of ​that ​felt ​kind ​of ​exciting. ​But ​then, ​immediately, ​it ​turned ​to ​overwhelm ​because ​I ​had ​not ​given ​myself ​space ​to ​actually unpack ​the ​season ​that ​I'd ​come ​through ​because ​I ​did ​not ​realize ​that ​that ​season ​had ​come ​to ​a ​close.”STAY IN TOUCHCome and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com. 

    40 | Are You Asking Too Much Of Your Team?

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 14, 2024 34:04


    One of the most challenging aspects of this journey of entrepreneurship is people management. As entrepreneurs, we often find ourselves grappling with delegation and feedback, two crucial elements that can make or break our team dynamics and overall business success.In this episode, I'm diving deep into these very topics by exploring the common pitfalls entrepreneurs face when trying to delegate tasks and provide feedback, and offering practical solutions to overcome these challenges. Join me as I share personal experiences and the lessons I've learned from coaching clients through the intricate dance of delegation. From setting clear expectations to creating effective checkpoints, I walk you through my thought process and provide actionable advice to help you delegate tasks more effectively and give constructive feedback. If you've ever struggled with feeling like your standards are too high or questioned your ability to trust your team, this episode is for you.MENTIONEDI'm opening three exclusive spots for women CEOs ready to redefine their leadership. If you're at a pivotal moment—launching a new fund, leading a team, or stepping into a new role—and feel the weight of what's next, I'm here to support you. Ready to invest in your growth and tackle challenges head-on? Visit www.moniquershields.com and fill out the simple contact form to get started.GEMS DROPPED“When ​we ​delegate ​the ​first ​thing ​we ​go ​to ​is ​the ​initial ​delegation, but I ​think ​that ​we ​skip ​a ​couple ​of ​steps ​when ​we ​jump ​to ​initial ​delegation. We ​bundle ​together ​in ​our ​mind ​that ​expectation ​setting ​and ​delegation ​are ​the ​same ​thing. ​Telling ​someone ​what ​you ​expect ​them ​to ​do ​in ​terms ​of ​steps ​that ​you ​expect ​them ​to ​take, ​people ​that ​you ​expect ​them ​to ​speak ​to, that ​is ​not ​the ​same ​thing ​as ​expectation ​setting. Expectation ​setting ​really ​revolves around, have ​I ​actually ​taken ​the ​time ​to ​define ​what ​ownership ​means?”“I ​think ​the ​other ​part ​of ​​defining ​ownership, ​is ​also ​explaining ​the ​stakes ​in ​the ​context because when ​we ​start ​handing ​over ​decision ​making ​authority - even ​if ​it's very ​low ​stakes ​or ​small ​decisions - they ​still ​have ​an ​impact. ​We ​equip ​our ​team ​members ​with ​what ​they ​need ​to ​increase ​their ​chances ​of ​success when ​we ​explain ​to ​them ​the ​context, ​that ​is ​necessary ​for ​the ​task ​at ​hand ​or ​for ​the ​whatever ​it ​is ​that ​you're ​trying ​to ​hand ​over ​ownership ​for. This ​is ​a ​key ​missing ​piece.”“Before ​we ​set any ​expectations, we ​have ​to ​recognize ​how ​little ​we ​actually know about ​what ​our ​expectations ​are. Especially ​as ​women ​leaders, ​we ​ ​know ​what ​we ​want, ​but ​we ​don't ​know ​how ​to ​express ​what ​we ​want. ​We're ​not ​practiced ​at ​it. ​We're ​not ​practiced ​at ​both, ​what ​it ​is ​that ​we ​want, ​and ​expressing ​it ​freely ​because ​we ​are ​often ​in ​spaces ​where ​it ​is ​not ​safe ​to ​do ​that. And ​so, number ​one … ​is ​to ​drop ​into ​and ​find ​support ​for ​expressing ​your ​needs. ​This ​flows ​outside ​the ​walls ​of ​your ​business or ​your ​organization. ​This ​is ​about ​how ​you ​are ​also ​showing ​up ​in ​life, ​how ​you ​relate ​to ​what ​it ​is ​that ​you ​need…  ​How ​you ​express ​that. ​Period.“STAY IN TOUCHCome and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com. 

    39 | On People Pleasing

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 31, 2024 32:33


    In this live-recorded episode, we explore the pervasive issue of people-pleasing, its roots, impacts, and the paths to overcoming it. This behavior, often rooted in a desire to be liked and accepted, can have profound impacts on both our personal and professional lives. Join me for personal stories, client experiences, and actionable steps to help you reclaim your voice and set healthier boundaries. Learning to love and accept ourselves, flaws and all, is a vital part of the journey towards breaking free from this behavior.If you're ready to reclaim your voice, tune in to this enlightening episode. It's time to prioritize your own well-being and create a life that truly reflects who you are. GEMS DROPPED“People pleasing ​is ​symptomatic ​of ​feeling ​unseen, ​going ​for ​long ​periods ​of ​your ​life, ​probably ​in ​your ​youth, ​probably ​having ​to ​deal ​with ​some ​of ​our ​traumas, ​​where ​we've ​been ​unseen. ““​I ​want ​to ​be ​really ​clear ​that ​people ​pleasing ​is ​not ​the ​same ​thing ​as​ being ​”weak”, ​or, not ​having ​a ​perspective ​or ​being passive. Some ​of ​the ​most ​hard ​hitting, ​ambitious, ​aggressive, ​in ​all ​the ​best ​ways, women ​that ​I ​know ​also ​identify ​as ​being ​people ​pleasers. ​Two ​things ​can ​be ​true ​at ​the ​same ​time, ​y'all. ​People ​pleasing ​is ​not ​the ​same ​thing ​as ​playing ​second ​fiddle ​and ​always ​taking ​a ​backseat.”“You ​are ​in ​the ​driver's ​seat ​of ​the ​choices ​you ​make, ​no ​matter ​what ​choices ​you ​make. ​This ​podcast, ​Ambition ​Without Compromise, ​is ​about ​you ​designing ​what ​ambition ​looks ​like. ​And ​I ​think ​oftentimes ​when ​you ​really ​think ​about ​it, ​one ​of ​the ​most ​ambitious ​things, ​if ​I'm ​honest, ​that ​a ​black ​woman ​in ​this ​world ​could ​do ​is ​to ​decide ​against ​all ​odds ​that ​she ​is ​prioritizing ​just ​her ​basic ​well-​being ​over ​anything ​else. Over ​career, ​over ​accolades, ​over ​anything. ​And ​that ​could ​look ​a ​lot ​of ​different ​ways.”“Our ​bodies ​are ​our ​bodies. We ​are ​still ​real ​flesh ​and ​blood ​human ​beings. ​We ​are ​not ​supernatural. ​We ​are ​not ​meant ​to ​take ​on ​all ​the ​burdens ​of ​the ​world. ​We ​have ​got ​to ​stop ​convincing ​ourselves ​that, ​like, ​I ​can ​hold ​it. ​ ​They're ​not ​built ​like ​me, ​so ​I ​guess ​I ​better ​handle ​it. ​Like, ​at ​some ​point, it ​will ​catch ​up ​with ​you. ​​1000% ​guaranteed and ​on ​that ​day, ​you ​won't ​be ​able ​to ​always ​just ​walk ​it ​back.”“I ​think ​all ​of ​this ​boils ​down ​to a ​very ​fundamental ​need ​that ​all ​of ​us ​have ​as ​humans, ​which ​is ​unconditional ​love. It's ​like ​the ​ooey ​gooey ​center ​of ​it ​all. ​I'm ​talking ​about ​leadership. ​I'm ​talking ​about, ​you ​know, ​showing ​up ​in ​spaces ​and ​holding ​things ​and ​pleasing ​folks. ​And ​you ​gotta ​please ​your ​investors, ​you ​gotta ​please ​your ​team, ​you ​gotta ​please ​your ​clients, ​you ​gotta ​please ​your ​parents, ​you ​gotta ​please ​your ​extended ​family, ​you ​gotta ​please ​your ​spouse, ​you ​gotta ​please ​your ​kids. ​Right? ​But ​when ​we ​operate ​like ​this, ​I ​think ​a ​big ​part ​of ​it ​is ​that ​we ​move ​into ​​circumstances, ​in ​general, ​in ​life, ​where ​we ​just ​don't ​expect ​unconditional ​love. ​We ​don't ​know ​what ​that ​looks ​like. ​We ​have ​not ​been ​taught ​that ​and ​not ​in ​a ​blanketed ​way. ​And ​it's ​what ​we ​crave ​most, ​where ​it's ​just ​like, ​I ​can ​be ​me  ​and ​I'll ​still ​be ​accepted. ​I ​can ​want ​what ​I ​need ​too, and ​still ​be ​loved. I'm ​deserving ​of ​it ​all.”STAY IN TOUCHCome and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com. 

    38 | Scared To Hire

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 17, 2024 43:54


    In this special behind-the-scenes episode, I pull back the covers on my personal journey as a CEO and entrepreneur sharing my fears, challenges, and breakthroughs. From hiring hurdles to business growth, I get real and raw about the ups and downs of my five-year journey of building my business and the challenges of making my first full-time hire. If you've ever hesitated to invest in yourself or your business, this episode is a must-listen. Tune in now and discover how you can move past your fears and build the business of your dreams.MENTIONED12 | Allowing Your Ambition To Evolve with Jereshia HawkGEMS DROPPED“Inevitably ​when ​we ​move ​through and we ​get ​one ​new ​level ​of ​clarity, a ​new ​barrier ​gets ​introduced. ​When ​we ​break ​through ​one ​ceiling, ​a ​new ​ceiling ​all ​of ​a ​sudden ​appears.”“I ​had ​begun ​to ​buy ​into ​this ​sort ​of ​vague, ​emotional ​reaction, ​and ​told ​myself ​a ​story ​that ​was ​irresponsible ​to ​hire ​someone ​until ​I ​have ​this ​feeling ​that ​I ​can ​support ​them. ​And ​that's ​not ​what ​hiring ​is ​like. The ​actual ​exchange ​of ​expectations ​and ​the ​resources ​and ​the ​energy ​that ​flows ​between ​you ​and ​your ​team ​members ​or ​those ​who ​are ​working ​for ​your ​company, ​​you're ​not ​paying ​to ​take ​care ​of ​them. And ​so ​that ​doesn't ​have ​anything ​to ​do ​with ​my ​values ​around ​​being ​a ​thoughtful ​and ​kind ​and ​compassionate ​person ​and ​leader, ​right. How ​I ​will ​treat ​people, ​how ​I ​actually ​care ​about ​whoever ​works ​with ​me, ​their ​humanity, ​like ​I'm ​still ​me ​and I ​don't ​have ​to ​place ​this ​additional ​weight ​on ​the ​relationship ​that ​doesn't ​need ​to ​exist. ​It ​just ​really ​has ​no ​place.”“We ​all ​need ​this. ​We ​need ​other ​people ​to ​help ​us ​catch ​those ​blind ​spots ​and ​shift ​our ​perspective. ​Otherwise, ​we're ​trapped ​in ​our ​own ​way ​of ​thinking, ​and ​we ​overcomplicate ​stuff. ​We ​make ​things ​harder ​than ​they ​need ​to ​be and ​it's ​just ​because ​certain ​things ​are ​hidden ​or ​there're ​certain ​angles ​that ​we're ​just ​not ​exploring.”“I ​think ​it's ​important ​to ​get yourself ​into ​conversation ​not ​only ​with your ​coach, ​because ​I ​would ​not ​have ​made ​the ​connections ​to ​the ​undercurrents ​right ​around ​the ​belonging, ​around ​the ​messiness ​if ​I ​had ​not ​already ​laid ​the ​groundwork, ​which ​with ​the ​deeper ​level ​work ​that ​I ​do ​with ​my ​coach ​and ​that ​I ​have ​done ​with ​my ​therapists. ​But ​these ​kind ​of [questions], ‘What's ​the ​next ​step? ​Where ​are ​we ​going ​to ​take ​it ​next?' ​Not ​sitting ​in ​that ​alone. ​It ​makes ​all ​the ​difference.”STAY IN TOUCHCome and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com. 

    37 | The Power Of Prioritizing Friendship And Connection

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 3, 2024 36:44


    As a coach, facilitator, and speaker, I have come to realize that our dreams don't always welcome us with open arms. The journey towards our aligned future can often feel lonely and unwelcoming, especially when we are made to feel isolated.Join me as I share personal stories and revelations about overcoming isolation and finding support in our journeys. From a significant encounter in 2018 that solidified my commitment to working with women of color, to the transformative power of finding and fostering authentic connections during the pandemic, this episode is a heartfelt testimony to the necessity of community for thriving.Tune in to discover how prioritizing connection can unlock your potential and lead to greater success in both your personal and professional life.MENTIONEDI'm opening three exclusive spots for women CEOs ready to redefine their leadership. If you're at a pivotal moment—launching a new fund, leading a team, or stepping into a new role—and feel the weight of what's next, I'm here to support you. Ready to invest in your growth and tackle challenges head-on? Visit www.moniquershields.com and fill out the simple contact form to get started.GEMS DROPPED“Success ​requires ​community. Success requires ​belonging. ​Someone ​needs ​to ​be ​​looking ​out ​for ​you, ​holding ​space ​for ​you, ​sending ​up ​prayers ​for ​you, thinking ​of ​you, ​knowing ​what's ​going ​on ​with ​you, ​knowing ​a ​few ​layers ​deep, ​understanding ​the ​dimensions ​of ​your ​life, ​because ​enough ​of ​them ​overlap ​with ​theirs, ​and ​because ​they've ​spent ​the ​time, ​the ​intention ​of ​both ​working ​on ​themselves ​and ​making ​it ​known ​that ​they ​are ​serious ​and ​invested ​in ​your ​success, ​that ​they ​want ​you ​to ​win. ​There's ​no, ​like, ​weird, ​threatening, ​frenemy ​energy ​going ​on, ​right? ““Your ​primary ​concern ​must ​be ​about ​connection. ​It ​must ​be ​about ​community. ​ ​It ​must ​be ​meeting ​the ​needs.”“As ​a ​black ​woman, we're ​used ​to ​counting ​on ​ourselves. ​And ​so ​the ​help ​that ​we ​really deep, ​deep, ​deep, ​deep ​down, ​that ​desire, ​the ​vulnerability, ​the ​sadness, ​the ​emotions, ​the ​joy ​that ​we ​wish ​we ​could ​not ​only ​express, ​but ​to ​be ​witnessed ​and ​to ​be ​held ​in ​and ​celebrated ​in ​or ​whatever ​needs ​to ​be ​amplified ​or ​just ​held, ​ ​we ​don't ​know ​how ​to ​do ​that. ​Nobody ​has ​taught ​us ​how ​to ​do ​that. ​ ​And ​so ​it ​is ​the ​medicine ​for ​so ​many ​things. ““There's ​a ​whole ​different ​experience ​of ​human ​interaction ​in ​the ​world. ​And ​I ​think ​we ​think ​about ​this ​just ​for ​our ​kids. ​We ​are ​greatly ​impacted ​by ​this, ​• ​and ​I ​think ​it ​is ​costing ​us ​dearly. ​And ​I ​think ​for ​those ​of ​us ​who ​have ​layer ​upon ​layer ​of ​subjugated ​and ​or ​marginalized ​identities, ​however ​you ​hold ​that ​language ​in ​your ​mind, ​​it's ​even ​more ​so. So we ​are ​under ​attack, ​like, ​our ​humanity. ​And ​what ​becomes ​possible ​for ​us ​is ​under ​attack ​because ​of  ​what ​kinds ​of ​patterns ​and ​practices ​have ​become ​normalized ​in ​our ​societies.”“When ​belonging ​is ​blocked, ​or ​you're ​not ​getting ​enough ​of ​that, ​it ​has ​far ​reaching ​impacts ​over ​the ​rest ​of ​your ​life. ​It ​has ​everything ​to ​do ​with ​how ​much ​money ​you ​believe ​you ​can ​make ​as ​well. Make ​it ​happen ​like ​you're ​fighting ​for ​your ​life, ​because ​you ​are.”STAY IN TOUCHCome and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com. 

    36 | Learning How To Do Nothing

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 19, 2024 39:44


    In today's fast-paced world, the concept of truly resting and enjoying success often feels elusive. Many of us are caught in a cycle of hyper productivity and achievement, constantly striving for the next milestone without pausing to reflect or recharge. Inspired by a friend's sabbatical and a compelling story from Will Smith's autobiography, I'm examining the internal struggle and unexpected discomfort that comes with stepping away from the grind.If you're seeking ways to incorporate rest into your life, or simply curious about the journey of self-discovery and enjoyment, this episode offers valuable reflections and practical advice to help you embrace stillness and find balance. Tune in as I dive into the art of stillness and explore what it means to remove yourself from the relentless pace of life to reconnect with your true self.MENTIONEDThe Will Smith Autobiography Will by Will SmithGEMS DROPPED“Many ​of ​us ​have ​the ​privilege ​to ​do ​this, ​to ​actually ​take ​sabbaticals ​or ​to ​open ​a ​new ​chapter ​in ​your ​life ​where ​your ​work, ​your ​business, ​your ​profession ​is ​not ​at ​the ​center, ​at ​the ​core ​of ​your ​identity.”“Some ​of ​us ​have ​been ​​working ​full ​time ​employees ​since ​we ​were ​very ​small ​children. ​Whether ​we ​were ​going ​elsewhere, ​outside ​of ​our ​household ​to ​work ​or ​whether ​we ​were ​energetically, ​emotionally ​laboring, ​we've ​been ​like ​many ​of ​us ​have ​been ​laboring ​for ​a ​very ​long ​time. ​And ​so ​when ​that ​threshold ​arises ​where ​it's ​time ​for ​my ​sabbatical, ​it's ​gonna ​vary.”“Without ​the ​expressed ​belief ​that ​I ​am ​working ​towards ​a ​sabbatical, ​some ​sort ​of ​extended ​break ​to ​pull ​yourself ​away ​and ​to ​reconnect ​with ​yourself ​and ​life…whatever. I ​think ​that ​that's ​what ​we're ​quietly ​playing ​for, ​but ​I ​don't ​think ​that ​many ​of ​us ​have ​actually ​taken ​ourselves ​to ​the ​place.”“The ​question ​is​ what ​do ​we ​actually ​think ​we ​want ​and ​what ​we ​truly ​will ​find ​on ​the ​other ​side ​of this ​freedom ​to ​rest, ​the ​stillness, ​the ​pause ​that ​we ​all ​keep ​saying ​that ​we ​want?”“I think ​we ​focus ​a ​lot ​on, ​like, ​I ​need ​to ​have ​a ​hobby, ​I ​need ​to ​have ​fun. ​And ​I ​think ​a ​lot ​of ​that ​just ​comes ​back ​down ​to ​like ​sit ​down ​either ​with ​yourself ​or ​someone ​else, ​however ​you ​process ​out ​your ​thoughts. If ​you ​can't ​think ​of ​like ​what ​am ​I ​into? ​What ​am ​I ​interested ​in ​besides ​making ​money, ​besides ​doing, ​you ​know, ​achieving ​things ​and ​you ​know, ​like ​working, ​what ​am ​I ​into? ​​Go ​back ​to ​your ​younger ​self ​and ​think ​about ​what ​brought ​you ​delight ​and ​joy ​and ​surprise ​and ​what ​really ​intrigued ​you ​as ​a ​kid. ​What ​was ​something ​that ​you ​used ​to ​spend ​hours ​on. ​It ​may ​not ​be ​that ​exact ​thing ​today ​in ​its ​exact ​form, ​but ​some ​continuity ​of ​that ​still ​exists ​within ​you.”“Build ​yourself ​a ​bridge ​back ​to ​yourself ​first.”“Until ​he ​had ​had ​that ​kind ​of ​stillness ​experience ​where ​it's ​like, ​I ​have ​nowhere ​to ​go ​but ​to ​be ​here ​with ​me ​and ​to ​actually ​feel ​what ​it ​is ​that ​is ​trying ​to ​be ​felt. ​That ​is ​the ​thing ​that ​I ​think ​we ​are ​avoiding ​most.”STAY IN TOUCHCome and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com. 

    35 | The Courage To Pursue Peace With Hillarie Maddox of BlackGirlCountryLiving

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 5, 2024 56:15


    Are you yearning for a change in your life, especially one that brings you closer to your true self? This episode might just be the nudge you need. In this episode, we unfold the essence of rewilding – a term that transcends its ecological roots to embody a spiritual awakening and connection with the natural world. Hillarie Maddox, a mother, aspiring farmer, community builder and the visionary behind Black Girl Country Living, shares her profound shift from the corporate grind to a life steeped in nature, healing, and community on Whidbey Island.Join in as Hillarie recounts her journey– from her aspirations for big-city success to her courageous leap into a life that truly resonates with her soul. She discusses the challenges and triumphs of transitioning multiple times, the power of visibility in attracting life-altering opportunities, and the importance of aligning one's work with deeply held values.Her story is a powerful reminder that it's never too late to seek a more fulfilling path, and that transitions are not just about the physical move from one place to another but also about the spiritual passage from one state of being to another. GEMS DROPPED“When ​we ​allow ​ourselves ​to ​be ​free ​and ​have ​the ​privilege… ​​​it ​really ​ends ​up ​being ​like ​​coming ​back ​into ​this ​formative ​early ​part ​of myself, ​this ​foundational ​part ​of ​me ​as ​a ​child ​to ​live ​a ​fuller ​expression ​of ​that ​kid now.” - Monique R. Shields“When ​I ​first ​started ​getting ​into ​gardening, ​​and ​homesteading ​and ​thinking ​about, ​like, ​​you ​know, ​this ​is ​something ​that ​I ​have ​to ​do ​all ​on ​my ​own. ​And ​then ​realizing, ​like, ​homesteaders, ​farmers, ​they ​don't ​do ​this ​on ​their ​own, they ​work ​in ​connection ​to ​all ​of ​these ​other ​people, and ​you ​can't ​possibly ​grow ​everything ​on ​your ​own. ​And ​so it's ​been ​like ​this ​sort ​of ​expansive rethinking of ​what ​this ​lifestyle ​actually ​means. ​And ​​that ​understanding ​has ​trickled ​into ​all ​parts ​of ​my ​life, ​including ​my ​career.”- Hillarie Maddox “Many ​of ​us ​are ​still ​building ​our ​careers ​off ​of ​that ​very ​old ​dream. There's ​nothing ​wrong ​with ​having ​that ​dream, ​like, ​whatever ​age ​you ​have ​it ​at, ​and ​you ​pursue ​it ​and ​then decide, ​actually, ​this ​is ​not ​what ​I ​thought ​it ​was ​going ​to ​be ​and ​then making ​a ​new ​decision. ​But ​sometimes ​we ​never ​hit ​that ​point ​or ​allow ​ourselves ​to ​hit ​the ​point ​of ​reckoning ​where ​it's ​just ​like, ​this ​ain't ​it. It ​may ​be “​it”, ​but ​sometimes ​it's ​not ​it, ​many ​times ​it's ​not ​it.” - Monique R. Shields“If ​you ​don't ​know ​what ​your ​values ​are, ​then ​you're ​making ​decisions ​from ​all ​of ​these ​different ​inputs ​from ​who ​knows ​where ​in ​your ​life and ​then ​it ​creates this ​really ​out ​of ​touch, ​out ​of ​alignment ​way ​of ​living.“ - Hillarie Maddox GUEST LINKSLearn more about Hillarie Maddox | Website | Instagram | Substack If you are looking for retreat space to host your programming around climate justice, BIPOC wellness, or land-based healing work, connect with Hillarie at hillarie@whidbeyinsitute.orgSTAY IN TOUCHCome and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com. 

    34 | Perfectionism & The Settled Place We're Seeking

    Play Episode Listen Later May 22, 2024 44:46


    Have you ever felt like you're constantly chasing a moment of peace, where everything on your to-do list is checked off, and you can finally relax? This pursuit of the 'settled place' might be more ingrained in your daily life than you realize. There's a way to shift from this endless cycle of striving for perfection to embracing an abundant boss mindset. A mindset that allows you to assume possibility, to believe that space and resources you need will be available to you, and to prioritize your own well-being alongside your ambitions.Join me as we unpack the layers of societal expectation that have taught us to stifle our emotions, to maintain composure at the cost of our authentic selves. I also share personal anecdotes and insights into how modeling emotional honesty can shape our environments, encourage others, and foster a culture of genuine well-being. Tune in to learn more. GEMS DROPPED“An ​abundant ​boss ​mindset ​is ​a ​mindset ​around ​leadership ​where you ​assume ​possibility. ​​You ​assume that ​the ​space ​you ​require ​is ​available ​to ​you. ​You ​assume ​that your ​needs ​shall ​be ​met. ​You ​assume ​that ​if ​you ​take ​up ​the ​space ​it's ​gonna ​be ​okay. There's ​a ​way ​that ​we ​kind ​of ​assume ​that ​we ​can ​have ​our ​needs ​met ​and ​that the ​things ​get ​done… ​at ​the ​same ​damn ​time.” “Some ​of ​the ​most ​important ​mental resource ​tools ​I've ​honestly ​ever ​picked ​up ​were ​between ​therapy ​and ​the ​fact ​that ​I ​worked ​for ​four ​years ​at ​a ​mental ​health ​startup ​where ​I ​learned ​cognitive ​behavioral ​therapy (CBT) in and out.”“One ​of ​the ​greatest ​lessons ​that ​I ​learned in ​my ​coaching ​training is ​how ​emotions ​move. ​Emotions ​are ​emotions. ​There are ​no ​good ​emotions, there are ​no ​bad ​emotions… ​emotions ​are ​just ​energy. ​ ​They ​are ​energy ​that ​needs ​to ​flow ​through ​us. Our body ​is ​engaging ​with ​the ​world ​and ​energetically ​reacting ​to ​the ​experiences ​that ​we ​have, ​the ​relationships ​that ​we ​keep and ​when ​our ​emotions ​come ​up, ​as ​adults, ​we ​have ​been ​trained ​to work ​them ​on ​down, ​to ​make ​them ​feasible, ​to ​make ​them ​workable, ​or ​to ​shut ​them ​off, ​to ​shut ​ourselves ​off, ​and ​to ​go into numb ​mode ​just ​to ​survive ​the ​moment ​because ​we're ​not ​socially ​given ​the ​space ​to ​do ​much ​more ​than ​that ​on ​a ​da -to -day ​basis.”“This ​craving ​of ​arriving ​at ​the ​settled ​place, ​this ​desire ​to ​get ​ahead ​of ​this, ​to ​get ​to ​the ​point ​where you feel ​peace ​and ​confident ​and ​on ​top ​of ​things. ​I'm ​not ​saying ​there's ​anything ​wrong ​with ​that, ​but ​I ​think ​that ​what ​we ​are ​not ​recognizing ​in ​that ​process ​or ​in ​that ​craving ​is ​that ​it's ​not ​just ​so ​much ​as ​a ​desire ​to ​get ​to ​a ​place ​as ​it ​is ​I ​think ​a ​desire ​to ​get ​away ​from. Because ​what's ​happening ​is ​we're ​just ​scared ​to ​be ​present ​to ​what ​is so ​we ​need ​to ​get ​somewhere ​else where ​there ​aren't ​the ​complicated, ​hard ​feelings ​there. ​​Sadness ​is ​not ​there. ​Rage, anger ​and ​frustration ​are ​not ​there. ​It's ​just ​pure ​satisfaction ​and ​rest ​and ​peace, ​which ​we ​all ​deserve. ​And ​I ​want ​to ​argue ​today ​that ​we ​also ​deserve ​to ​have ​regular ​space ​to ​feel ​all ​of ​the ​other ​emotions ​as ​well.“STAY IN TOUCHCome and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com. 

    33 | Unpacking Trauma And Achievement with Psychologist Andrea Michel

    Play Episode Listen Later May 8, 2024 59:23


    In this episode, we explore the intricate web of trauma, perfectionism and high achievement with Andrea Michel. As a developmental psychologist, trauma-sensitive leadership coach, and former corporate badass, Andrea peels back the layers of what it means to be a high achiever, how our childhood traumas shape our professional lives, and the subtle yet significant distinction between burnout and trauma responses in the workplace. She offers a compassionate lens through which to view our inner perfectionist – not as something to be vanquished, but as a part of ourselves that requires understanding and, if we choose, healing.Whether you're a leader seeking to create a trauma-sensitive environment or an individual ready to confront the roots of your perfectionism, Andrea's expertise will guide you toward a path of self-awareness and empowerment. Press play to join the conversation.Some key points discussed in this episode include:Understanding decision-makingHigh-functioning behavior, overachievement, and childhood traumaParenting and traumaForming relationships based solely on achievementSelf-awareness and HealingDifferentiating burnout and trauma response GEMS DROPPED“Simply ​put, ​trauma ​is ​any ​experience ​or ​any ​event that ​overwhelms ​our ​internal ​resources. ​​And ​when ​we ​feel ​out ​of ​control ​of ​a ​situation. So ​in ​other ​words, ​trauma ​is ​anything ​that ​happens ​to ​us ​where ​we ​feel ​like ​we ​have ​no ​control ​over ​the ​situation ​and ​we're ​basically ​stressed ​out ​to ​the ​max. And ​so ​I ​like ​to ​say, ​when ​we ​think ​about ​trauma, ​there ​is the ​event, ​there ​the ​experience, ​and ​then ​there ​is the ​expectations. ​So ​the ​event ​is ​the ​thing ​that ​happens, the ​experience ​is ​how ​we ​interpret ​that ​thing ​that ​happened and ​then ​the ​expectation ​is ​how ​do ​others ​around ​us ​respond ​to ​that ​situation.” - Andrea Michel“What ​I ​come ​into ​contact ​with, ​even ​with ​some ​​clients ​in ​session, ​sometime ​we're ​asking, ​like, ​where ​does ​that ​come ​from? ​Why ​is ​that ​showing ​up? ​Why ​is ​that ​happening? ​What ​was ​that ​about? ​But ​we ​can't ​take ​it ​much ​further. ​And ​I ​just ​feel ​like ​sometimes ​it's ​just ​another ​reminder ​that ​you ​can't ​really ​do ​this ​alone. ​You ​can, ​many ​times ​only ​get ​yourself ​so ​far, because ​we ​can't ​see ​outside. ​We ​can't ​see ​outside ​of ​how ​we ​see.” - Monique R. Shields“We ​have ​to ​unburden ​ourselves ​of ​things ​that ​we ​ultimately ​cannot ​control ​and ​we're ​not ​supposed ​to ​anyway.” - Monique R. Shields“If ​you ​want ​to ​stop ​repeating the same ​cycle, ​you ​have ​to ​heal ​the ​trauma.” - Andrea Michel MENTIONEDEP. 14 Spiritual Knowing and Self-Integrity with Josie Rosario GUEST LINKSLearn more about Andrea Michel | Website | The ​Global ​Center ​for Trauma | Private Coaching STAY IN TOUCHCome and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com.

    32 | The Right Time Is Not Coming

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 24, 2024 28:19


    Are you waiting for the perfect moment to make a change? In this episode, I am shattering the illusion of the "magical right time" that so many of us are waiting for. The truth is, that moment when you feel entirely ready, when everything is in place, and when you've done enough—it's a myth. It's never coming. The right time is now.Join me as I dive into the language of limitation and how phrases like "I just need to..." can trap us in a cycle of perpetual preparation, holding us back from stepping boldly into the life we're meant to live, without compromise. I also challenge the narrative that familiarity equals safety and explore the power of tapping into the unbridled strength of our younger selves to fuel our courage for change. Press play and let's explore what it means to live freely and authentically, and how to back it into a plan that propels us forward.GEMS DROPPED“This ​magical ​right ​time, ​​the ​time ​when ​you ​feel  ​ready, ​when ​things ​are ​in ​place, ​when ​you ​have ​done ​enough, ​when ​you ​have ​prepared ​enough, ​and ​you ​know ​that ​this ​is ​up ​for ​you, ​that ​this ​is ​a ​challenge ​for ​you ​right ​now… ​The ​whole ​thing ​is ​a ​trick.”“When ​you ​keep ​saying ​stuff ​like, ​well, ​I ​just ​have ​to ​think ​about, ​or ​I ​just ​have ​to ​decide, ​or ​​I've ​got ​to ​give ​some ​more ​thought ​to … ​I ​need ​to ​do ​some ​preparation… ​I ​just. ​I ​just. ​I ​just. ​I ​just. y'all. ​This ​is ​all ​danger language. ​Danger, ​danger, ​danger, ​danger, ​language. ​We ​start ​backing ​ourselves ​into ​deep ​limitation ​​because ​we ​are ​fearful ​of ​giving ​ourselves ​permission ​to ​be ​specific ​about ​what ​it ​is ​that ​we ​truly ​want.”“​I ​recognize ​that ​in ​order ​for ​this ​next ​part ​of ​me, ​this ​next ​phase ​to ​come ​to ​fruition, ​for ​that ​to ​happen, ​I'm ​gonna ​have ​to ​relinquish ​the ​reins. ​I'm ​gonna ​have ​to ​let ​this ​other ​part ​of ​me, ​this ​free ​and ​creative ​and ​open, ​this ​vulnerable ​part ​of ​me, come ​up ​to ​the ​driver's ​seat ​​and ​I ​might ​have ​to ​get ​in ​the ​back, ​I ​might ​have ​to ​get ​in ​the ​trunk ​at ​some ​point. ​That ​feels ​so ​risky. ​It ​feels ​so, ​so ​risky ​internally.”“We ​disconnect ​from ​that ​part ​of ​ourselves. ​We ​leave ​those, ​air ​quote, ‘​childish ​things' ​behind ​and ​we ​get ​serious ​about ​life ​and ​we ​put ​on ​new ​coping ​skills ​and ​different ​things ​toughen ​us ​up ​and ​rough ​us ​up, ​and ​we ​forget ​that ​that ​wild ​and ​free ​little ​version ​of ​us, ​has ​so ​much ​power.”“​I ​hope ​that ​if ​you ​are ​sitting ​in ​stagnation ​and ​not ​realizing, ​I ​hope ​that ​if ​you ​are ​sitting ​in, ​‘I ​need ​to ​wait ​for ​the ​right ​time', ​or ‘​I ​just ​need ​to ​think ​through. ​I ​just ​need ​to ​figure ​out,' ​or ‘​I ​just ​need ​to, ​you ​know, ​shore ​up ​x, ​y ​and ​z,' ​that ​you ​bust ​down ​those ​walls ​and ​get ​real ​with ​the ​truth ​of ​what's ​going ​on ​here, ​which ​is ​​knowing ​that ​you ​don't ​have ​to ​cling ​to ​what's ​familiar ​and ​that ​you're ​not ​going ​to ​find ​your ​freedom. ​Your ​salvation ​will ​not ​come ​from ​this ​place.  ​You ​have ​everything ​you ​need ​to ​make ​the ​move ​if ​you ​give ​yourself ​permission ​to ​let ​that ​part ​of ​you ​actually dream ​it ​up ​and ​connect ​you ​to ​the ​urgency ​of ​it ​all.”STAY IN TOUCHCome and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com. 

    31 | When Will It Ever Be Enough?

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 10, 2024 31:38


    In this episode, I'm tackling a question that is rattling around the corridors of the minds of us highest achievers: "When will it ever be enough?" It's a relentless echo that reverberates in the silence left by our latest triumphs, a whisper that lingers even as we scale the peaks of what I'm calling “Money Mountain” with the weight of the world on our shoulders.For those who've pushed themselves to the brink, who've crafted empires with their bare hands and sheer will, this episode is a soul-stirring examination of the unsustainable pace of success and the personal toll it exacts. We're pulling back the veil on the harsh truths behind burnout, the undercurrents of systemic pressures, and the personalization of collective dysfunctions that lead us to question our worth, our work, and our way forward.Join me as we explore the deeper questions that should be guiding our pursuit of fulfillment. We'll navigate through the false narratives of entrepreneurship, the courage to be beginners in the public eye, and the vulnerability required to ask for what we truly want. Tune in and transform the way you approach your goals and your life.MENTIONED13 | Re-Mothering Ourselves03 | What Are You Playing For? (CEO Series)GEMS DROPPED“In ​this ​quest ​to ​say, ​'Am ​I ​doing ​enough? ​​Is ​it ​enough? ​Have ​I ​ascertained ​enough? ​Have ​I ​done ​enough? ​Have ​I ​created ​enough?' ​We're ​really ​searching ​for, ​'Will ​I ​ever ​be ​enough?' That's ​the ​real ​question ​that ​runs ​beneath ​all ​of ​this, ​is, ​will ​I ​ever ​be ​enough?”“We're ​asking ​ourselves ​at ​the ​end ​of ​the ​day, ​why ​am ​I ​not ​enough? ​Why ​am ​I ​not ​rising ​to ​the ​occasion? ​Why ​is ​this ​wearing ​me ​out? ​Why ​am ​I ​having ​these ​emotional ​reactions ​and ​responses? ​Why ​am ​I ​being ​a ​fucking ​human ​being? ​We're ​punishing ​ourselves ​for ​our ​basic ​needs, ​and ​it's ​wrong. ​​It ​is ​wrong. ​It ​is ​misguided. ​It ​is ​misdirected. ​So ​I ​want ​you ​to ​turn ​that ​energy ​into ​some ​better ​questions. I ​think a ​better ​question is ​'Am ​I ​fulfilled, ​well, and whole?'““That ​moment ​where ​the ​decision ​is ​available ​to ​you, ​it ​can ​feel ​like ​you ​don't ​have ​a ​choice. ​And ​we ​always ​have ​a ​choice. ​We ​always ​have ​a ​choice.”“At ​a ​certain ​point, ​money ​no ​longer ​delivers. ​There's ​no ​return ​on ​that ​investment emotionally. Once ​you ​get ​past ​a ​certain ​level ​it ​caps ​out ​and ​you're ​not ​going ​to ​get ​any ​more ​enjoyment, ​fulfillment, ​happiness, ​even ​delight. ​All ​of ​that ​just ​falls ​flat. ​And ​so, ​well, ​what ​are ​you ​even ​playing ​for? ““There ​really ​is ​no ​enoughness that's ​going ​to ​truly ​satisfy ​you…the ​feeling ​that ​you're ​actually ​seeking ​to ​​meet, ​which ​is ​fulfillment. ​If ​fulfillment ​is ​what's ​lacking, ​​none ​of ​this ​other ​stuff ​even ​matters. ​And ​I ​think ​that ​that's ​what ​we ​end ​up ​getting ​ourselves ​to ​when ​we ​first ​start ​asking ​this ​question. ​What's ​enough? ​You're ​enough. ​What ​do ​you ​want? ​Who ​do ​you ​want ​to ​be? ​Who ​you ​desire ​to ​be? ​Start ​there.”STAY IN TOUCHCome and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com. 

    30 | How I Became A Podcaster - 1 Year Anniversary Episode!

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 27, 2024 42:48


    In today's episode, we celebrate the one-year anniversary of Ambition Without Compromise, a testament to the power of persistence and the beauty of evolution. Join me as I take a reflective journey down memory lane, recounting the origins of this podcast, born from a desire to connect authentically and serve a community of visionary women.From the humble beginnings of voice memos sent out to a small circle of friends and family, to the robust, twice-monthly musings that reach an ever-growing audience, this journey has been one of learning, growth, and unwavering commitment to my vision. I delve into five key lessons learned along the way, from embracing imperfection to tuning into the data, and the importance of meeting ourselves where we are.As we step into the next year of the show, I invite you to celebrate the milestones we've reached together and the space we've created for daring questions and honest answers. Whether you've been with me from the start or have recently joined our community, I hope you find inspiration in the realization that ambition does not have to be compromised when we listen, adapt, and serve with heart.In honor of our anniversary, I ask for the gift of your feedback. Leave a review and share how this podcast has impacted your journey. Your words not only help others find this podcast but also guide the future of our conversations. Send me a DM or an email to let me know your thoughts, and together, let's step into another year of uncompromised ambition.REQUESTShare your anniversary well-wishes by leaving a rating and review for Ambition Without Compromise on Apple Podcast. Your engagement fuels this journey, and I can't wait to hear from you.MENTIONED13 | Re-Mothering OurselvesGEMS DROPPED“Perfection ​is ​not ​required ​to ​do ​the ​next ​thing ​that ​you're ​trying ​to ​do. ​I ​just ​want ​to ​remind ​you, ​if ​you ​don't ​already ​know, ​or ​if ​you ​know, ​that ​you're ​placing ​this ​undue ​pressure ​on ​yourself, ​that ​perfection ​is not ​required.”“Sometimes ​it's ​not ​about ​you ​having ​said ​the ​perfect ​thing, ​​crafted ​the ​perfect ​positioning, ​​and ​language, ​and ​put ​all ​of ​this ​thought ​and ​science ​and ​art ​just ​melding ​together ​into ​this ​gorgeous ​piece ​of ​work. ​​Sometimes ​it's ​just ​the ​way ​you ​naturally ​say ​things. Someone ​else ​out ​in ​the ​world ​needed ​to ​hear ​it ​in ​that ​way. ​Someone's ​looking ​for YOU.”“Sometimes ​we ​think ​we ​need ​to ​over ​prepare ​when ​it's ​like ​you ​are ​enough ​as ​you ​are, ​that ​your ​rawness ​is ​actually ​the ​best ​gift ​you ​can ​give ​people, ​for ​people ​to ​get ​a ​real ​taste ​of ​the ​essence ​of ​you.”“You ​have ​everything ​you ​need ​to ​start, you ​just ​need ​to ​be ​creative. Just ​allow ​yourself ​to ​have ​the ​freedom ​to ​have ​like, ​a ​quick ​and ​easeful ​creative ​exploration. ​If ​you ​give ​yourself ​permission​ ​to ​be ​where ​you ​are ​and ​to ​listen ​to ​what ​exactly ​it ​is ​that ​you ​want.”“Listen ​to ​the ​data ​to ​block ​out ​distraction. ​Most ​of ​the ​time, ​I ​think ​the ​distractions ​are ​like ​our ​insecurities, fears ​or ​doubts.”STAY IN TOUCHCome and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com.

    29 | Betting On My Wellbeing: Sharing My Practices

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 13, 2024 48:28


    In this heart-to-heart episode, I'm peeling back the curtain on my personal journey of self-investment and well-being. As I navigate the ebbs and flows of life, I've come to realize that to manifest the life I aspire to, I must over-invest in my well-being. Join me as I share the strategies and practices that are guiding me through 2024, from embracing the power of coaching to the subtle magic of herbal remedies and the transformative impact of environment organization.I'll dive into the profound clarity that comes from addressing health and healing holistically, the importance of community and nurturing relationships, and the spiritual nourishment found in nature and the innocent play of children. This episode is an intimate exploration of how prioritizing ourselves can lead to attracting higher quality opportunities and achieving professional abundance with seemingly effortless grace.Whether you need a nudge to take that first step towards self-care or you're seeking affirmation that your path of personal investment is valid, this episode is a gentle yet powerful reminder that when we take care of ourselves, the universe conspires to take care of everything else. Tune in to be inspired, to find permission, and perhaps, to make that life-changing decision for yourself. MENTIONED25 | Avoiding The Real WorkGEMS DROPPED"We'll sabotage what could be big for us. We'll sabotage what could be incredible and exciting for us because we know that we don't have it within us, energetically, emotionally, spiritually, physically, that we don't have it to rise to that occasion”.“If you take care of yourself, the things you want get taken care of, too. So how can we aggressively take care of ourselves?”“Listen to your body and respond”.“Every time you walk past something in your house and you're like, I got to figure out where to put these things, or I've got to figure out how to make that work better. But you don't have the tools to do it, or you don't have the time to do it. You leak energy … It's a cognitive drain, and it's small. But we're walking through our spaces…the environments that we're existing in, that we're working in, that we're living in, and we're having these little moments of energy, of attention that are being drained away from us because we don't have a space that fully supports the humans living in it and the belongings that we have.”“Stop tolerating discomfort with setting up these systems, adhering to systems that actually support your financial well being, because that has everything to do with how you feel energetically, emotionally in your day to day life.”“When we don't feel alone in the paths that we're walking, the journeys that we're on, because we know someone else is holding space for us, someone else is thinking about us. Or we can reflect back on the inside joke that came out of the last time we spoke, or the vulnerable share, and we can hold space for that person outside of it. It's just so important.” “Once you leave the college and the grad school of it all, there are very few spaces that will forge that kind of bonding and connection because we don't have the same level of interconnected … intensity of a shared experience. Right? We have to create them”.STAY IN TOUCHCome and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com. 

    28 | Beneath The Struggle To Ask For Help

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 28, 2024 30:55


    Often, we tell ourselves that the key to expanding our leadership is merely becoming better at asking for help or refining our delegation skills. But what I've unearthed in my work as a coach to CEOs and leaders is that the challenge goes deeper than tactics and tips. It's not just about optimizing to-do lists or honing delegation strategies; there's a profound internal barrier between us and the help we seek.Join me on this exploration of the struggle of asking for help and the complexities surrounding delegation. I'll dig into the fears of appearing incompetent, needy, or even abusive when asking for help (especially as women and POC) .  I'm also dissecting the misconception that unlimited capacity equates to competence and pull back the covers on how shifting our perspective can transform our leadership dynamics. Press play to tune in as we peel back layers and challenge the narratives that may be holding us back from authentic and sustainable leadership.GEMS DROPPED"What I am constantly finding is that it's not about the tactics, it's not about the tips, it's not about the tricks, it's not about optimizing your to-do list, not at least at first. That's not the first step. There's something that runs much deeper within us around what feels like a barrier between us and the help that we want to better leverage”.“Building this skill, building confidence and comfort, around asking for help, employing help, receiving help, it's gonna be make or break for whatever it is that you're trying to build. It creates a ceiling immediately if you can't move through this and expand and grow this part of yourself.”“I think women and people of color, we can carry a great deal of undue pressure on our leadership design… that maybe makes us account for too many variables. Trying to hold too many things, and maybe not always the things that matter the most.”“There is a level of thoughtfulness that we try to bring to our own leadership, to not repeat and not recreate a culture around reckless and uncaring delegation, and I think that there's a weight to that intent that we carry around …being better, trying to be more thoughtful… that just adds another layer of pressure to what it means to ask for help, what it means to delegate or to set expectations for someone else… what it means to be responsible when you are occupying a position of a great deal more power within a power dynamic, trying to be respectful and responsive to that.”“You're wanting to make sure that basically, the team knows that you can handle hard shit, that the team knows that you have horsepower, that they can believe in your work ethic, and your ability to handle things… but what's happening, because you have such a focus on this, on proving to this team, appearing to this team that you have what it takes, and essentially, that you are strong, is that you are conflating capacity with competence. Meaning, you're trying as hard as you can to always appear competent through how infinite your capacity is, which it's not.”  “When we're focused on, I just need to be the strong one that's getting all the things done, we don't create space for relationships and for what really needs to be invested in here.” STAY IN TOUCHCome and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com. 

    27 | Scaling Your Humanity With Your Wealth

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 14, 2024 34:31


    I've been reflecting on my self-discovery journey, facing challenges and pondering profound questions this season. Recent conversations, especially those delving into my middle school experiences, have revealed personal truths and beliefs related to my sense of belonging.Sharing these experiences isn't just about my journey but aligns with a broader theme observed among powerful women. As we navigate success, visibility, and seniority, we often compromise spaces where we can be authentic. This episode delves into the significance of investing in spaces that foster thriving, full expression, and true belonging. It's time to prioritize our humanity, transition from survival to thriving, and acknowledge the immense potential in embracing our authentic selves. Join me as we explore this crucial investment in our well-being and growth.GEMS DROPPED"In the absence of belonging, my basement was that people would respect me …if looking for and embracing and trusting that belonging wasn't available to me, that at the very least, I didn't go seeking anything beneath basic respect.”“A big important part of our core and important part of this work for you, is to allow yourself to feel that you want to belong… to feel the wanting, to feel the desire, allow yourself to feel that. It's okay …you deserve to want that as opposed to just saying, well, I'm not going to assume that I belong, but I will assume respect and how do you know when one of the ways that we can think of respect is like a proxy for it, that can be sort of symbolic.”“Especially in this day and age, we have got to cling to the things that bring us back into our humanity. We have got to. And when you're operating as the powerful woman, the woman who knows when you're operating at this level, and you have big dreams, big aspirations, and you've got the track record, you can look back and you can say look, check my receipts. I do the things, I operate in a big way, and I have every intent of doing what feels expansive. We're discounting this key aspect of what it looks like to grow and belong and make things happen as a fertile, loving collective.““As you become more and more successful, the more wealth you have, the more seniority you occupy, the more visibility that you have, there are fewer and fewer spaces where you can be your own human self, your real true blue, honest, quirky, full self because cameras are on, people are watching, your team is looking to you, everybody needs something from you. And so people don't always see you as human. Even those who are cheering for you.”“Our humanity carries with it a tapestry of really critical energies– our true personalities, our preferences, our quirks, who we actually are. It's an energy that is meant to be expressed. It is meant to flow. And when it is caged in and bottled up, because you are on a pedestal, you are on a platform, everybody is looking to you and you have to button the shit up, and you need to look a certain way, you need to say a certain thing, you need to…”“Not everybody has the capacity to negotiate their own identities in the distance between your reality and theirs with personal security. People sometimes can't maintain their own self- esteem in your presence.”“The privilege of just being able to be who you are out loud in front of people, bear and real and raw you, that has immeasurable value.”STAY IN TOUCHCome and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com. 

    26 | When Achievement Is No Longer The Goal

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 31, 2024 23:44


    Today's episode focuses on a crucial perspective shift for high achievers who have hit all the targets and are now facing brand new questions and a career crossroads.Listen in as we explore the significance of introspection, identifying our true passions, and the value of taking small steps towards aligning with our inner artist on our journey of self-discovery and transformation as we redefine success beyond mere achievement. This episode serves as a reminder that transcending the constraints of achievement opens doors to a new level of fulfillment. Tune in and let the shift begin.GEMS DROPPED"Achievement has a cut-off point; it's time to shift from being the achiever to embracing the artist within.""In a world of achievement, there's a scarcity hierarchy baked in because not everyone can reach the top. It's time to redefine success beyond achievement.""Transitioning from achievement to artistry requires letting go of the need to constantly prove oneself and embracing the unknown of creating your own path.""Being a high achiever is like playing by a fixed menu; stepping into artistry means creating your own secret menu, even if the page is blank.""As an artist, you need to be in touch with your sensory being, understanding what activates you, where you shine, and what uniquely belongs to you.""The shift from achiever to artist involves doing a whole lot less, embracing stillness, reflection, and the less tangible, yet powerful, work of creation.""You're no longer qualified for roles you excelled in decades ago; your value now lies in the invisible, visionary work that sets the stage for impactful change.""Transitioning to artistry requires taking small steps, aligning with an executive coach, therapy, or activities that nourish your inner creative being.""Your job is to prioritize activities that resonate with your inner artist, even if they seem unrelated to traditional notions of success.""Embrace the discomfort and grieving process of letting go of old identities; prioritize wisdom, vision, and time freedom to enact the influence you desire."STAY IN TOUCHCome and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com. 

    25 | Avoiding The Real Work

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 17, 2024 45:06


    Reflection season is here, and I'm delving into the experiences of the past year, contemplating what truly matters. In today's episode, we uncover the layers of self-discovery and transformation, emphasizing the importance of doing the real work we often avoid.Join me on this deep dive as we concentrate on the four pivotal buckets of meaningful connections and personal growth and why when we nurture them, everything else falls seamlessly into place.This episode is your invitation to embark on a journey of self-discovery and transformation. Cheers to undertaking the real work in 2024!GEMS DROPPED"The real work is more murky, not always gratifying, but important for the experiences we desire in the coming years.""The real work starts with healing, childhood stuff, therapy – the core that yields new outcomes within yourself.""Your body has to be set up for success; it informs your thoughts, creativity, and innovation. You've never seen your peak performance until your body is right.""Investing in community and relationships can skyrocket your dreams with half the effort because you're no longer doing it alone.""Sometimes it's just the fact that there is someone else holding space for your dream alongside you that makes the difference.""Time and energy constraints often hinder building friendships and community, but it's about the quality, not the quantity, of time spent together.""It's not about the superficial tasks and planning; the real work is diving into the emotional and healing aspects, the work we often avoid.""Most of your relationships are lopsided; you're constantly the giver, fixing others' problems. Meaningful connections require a thoughtful design space.""Connection and vulnerability can lead to love in a moment with a stranger, but we're not taught to have trust in open-ended spaces with friends.""Put yourself into spaces designed with intention and care to achieve the depth you crave in relationships.""It's important to have both - the little Kiki moments and the depth that anchors into something real.""Connectedness requires thoughtfulness, especially in the pace of life as a business leader.""Don't avoid the real work in the depth of friendships and community; it's crucial for success and feeling good about your success.""Spirituality is personal; it's what makes you feel connected, hopeful, and alive. It goes beyond religious beliefs.""Arriving at success without spiritual investment feels empty; integrate spirituality into the journey for a fulfilling destination.""Focus on healing, health, friendship, and spirituality; when you nurture these buckets, everything else falls seamlessly into place."STAY IN TOUCHCome and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com. 

    24 | 7 Gifts Of Coaching For High Powered Women

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 3, 2024 34:08


    I'm buzzing with excitement after leading an incredible retreat with a group of amazing black woman CEOs. Now, I'm ready to dive into a topic that's been on my mind for a year: coaching. It's a tricky thing to explain because there are a million different types of coaches out there and the term has come to mean a lot of different things.So, in this episode, I'm breaking down what coaching means to me, shedding light on its benefits, and helping you conceptualize it in your own way. I've jotted down seven key areas that I believe capture the essence of my coaching philosophy.Join me as I share my thoughts on coaching, drawing from what's reflected back to me from my clients, and highlighting what I excel at as a coach. Let's get into it!GEMS DROPPED“The type of person for whom coaching is a little more urgent, is the person who self identifies as the giver and structurally exists this way in their community, network, family, etc. …there is a mental and emotional labor that comes with playing this role in any group or community. When you're always the provider, it makes it easy for you to also feel really alone.  …To be the person that most people look to for something. The role of coaching for this person is that you can finally be in a space with someone who is entirely committed to your thriving and has no personal attachments or agenda for you outside of you getting exactly what it is that you want.”“The benefit of not feeling alone is something that is terribly hard to quantify. But I think we all know just how life changing it can feel to go from being in a state of loneliness to a state of “Oh, somebody's in my corner… somebody is dedicated to me… has no separate agenda… is not attached to my decisions, and the bounds of the relationship are formalized and set up so I can trust that I can fall back into that structure and not feel alone in my own head and on my own journey.”  “Coaching helps us get behind ourselves, examine why we're moving the way we move, giving us explicit permission to pause, asking us the right questions to help us get intentional, to examine our pace and to reset it to feel like we are actually self directed and that we are not being led by some false pace that has been set out in the ether by whoever, whatever, out in the world, all these pressures that make us feel like we need to be doing stuff that we maybe don't need to be doing.”“Coaching provides you the space and the freedom and the safety for that inner little you to still show up, be seen, noticed and taken care of. There is something really, really, invaluable to be in space with someone who can create room for all aspects of you, all dimensions of you, all little ages and grown ages of you to be seen, to be heard and to be held so that we're not always pretending to be the grownup that we want to be… that we want everybody else to see.”  “This is one of the greatest gifts that I know I bring to coaching for sure is that I'm not intimidated by people's accomplishments. I love that about myself. I can be in awe of you, I can be celebratory, I can be inspired and at the same time, just because you do really impressive, superhuman-like things doesn't mean that you are less human yourself. And I think that that can be such a critical experience for someone to have… that space to be human and be regular, that gives you that break from the fandom. To trust that this person is not going to bypass my humanity for the sake of trying to be around for proximity.” STAY IN TOUCHCome and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com. 

    23 | Fighting Against Living Your Own Dream

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 20, 2023 34:09


    Over the past few weeks, I've been actively exploring a concept that's been alive in me, sparked by conversations with others and introspection. I've reached a point where I need to share it publicly and grapple with it out loud. So today we are going to do some wayfinding.Listen in as I explore the fear of success, and the challenge of creating a life that aligns with our deepest desires. It's a journey of building and receiving, of embracing the vision while navigating the uncertainties and the discomfort of living the dream. So, buckle up and come along with me as we navigate the intricacies of wanting, building, and trusting the process of experiencing Ambition Without Compromise.MENTIONEDEP. 15 Learning To Dream First (CEO Series)GEMS DROPPED“So many of us want to be more fully connected, invested in and confident in what we want. In some ways, this is the whole point of Ambition Without Compromise, which is getting to want what we want… getting to embrace it and know – in full, vivid color – what it is that we want, and not needing to look like anything else to anyone else. And as I find myself honestly, in this season of having what I want, I am a business owner stepping into the identity of someone who actually owns her time and chooses her work and pitches for what she wants, and creates opportunities for herself –no permission needed from anybody else. And the vision I had set for myself was, we're going to move to the burbs, I want it to be slow, I want more ease, I'm going to work with fewer clients, I'm going to do fewer things, I'm going to continue to make more money and I'm going to feel connected to myself, take care of myself and be able to see the people that I love and care about. I'm living that dream, so why do I keep fighting against it?”“Step into a realization or an ownership over the fact that you can actually do this. You can command your time. You can exist in spaciousness. You can feel like you're not at the behest of everybody's unspoken needs.”“When you're an overachiever or a high-achiever when you think about it, it's like my bar is so astronomical, it's like I never should be able to reach anything or close to it. And so when you do it, immediately you're like, ‘well, this bar must be too low or something must be wrong with this, like something is off.' We can be quick to question these things and to feel discomfort.”“This is part of what can feel really uncomfortable for us with charting a course towards the life we really, really want is that there is this kind of white space, stuff I can't account for, that feels unreal, kind of unimaginable and we feel uncomfortable with that. There's a big leap that takes place in terms of what we have to learn to value and who we have to be to become comfortable with being in that in-between space. Like who am I if I'm not doing everything? ““When we think about I want to feel more connected to this place I want to go that scares the shit out of me. Because I'm like, ‘Who am I going to be if I'm there and I'm not doing all the things I'm doing today?' Right? But you have to be able to see it. Because you have to give yourself a reason to want to set down some of those fears, or to at least open up like okay, maybe I still have these fears, but I'm open to some exploration are all around them. So there's that. We start there.”STAY IN TOUCHCome and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com. 

    22 | Wanting Change vs. Being Changed

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 6, 2023 49:57


    In this episode, I explore the concept of desiring change and the realization that to truly experience change, we must be willing to be changed ourselves. I share insights from coaching conversations and my personal experiences, emphasizing the importance of creating rituals and safe spaces for courageous conversations.Join me on this journey of self-discovery and transformation, where we confront the discomfort of change, embrace the power of courageous vulnerability and uncover the keys to unlocking the change we crave.GEMS DROPPED“You want more money, respect, to feel more valued and at ease as you put forth so much effort day to day in the things that you do for a living, but it's never going to happen as long as you are still walking into these situations being the same person that you have always been.”“ You want to be a different kind of mother than maybe you experienced growing up, than you see most commonly around you in your community, than you were last Season, or just a parent in general. And your heart's in the right place, your desire is clear, but you don't know how to get there. And I can say, like, you won't get there until you're ready to be changed”.“In our marriages and relationships, we want to feel free, easeful and valued, but where we stop the conversation short. We have to take things a step further and ask ourselves, how am I being free? How am I being useful? How am I valuing myself? Who am I to be in these scenarios and in these relationships, that would allow me to experience what it is I keep saying that I most want to experience?”“There's no blueprint, no exact plan for how to change because we're all unique individuals. We all have unique lives, work and relationships and so there's not some off the shelf template that you can just check down a bunch of boxes and be like, this is what I do to be this kind of different person. What's actually required is a great deal of energy, creativity and courage to open yourself up to a decision.”  “To begin this process of being different, and identifying what that decision is, can feel confronting and difficult, especially when you're exploring these things by yourself. But the decision is always very simple. It's stop doing this, start doing this. It's say yes to this, say no to that. It's always black or white, cut and clear. Yet we try to make these half assed decisions, that are not really decisions.”“You can't just make a decision and have no rituals and habits to support the decision. You have to have rituals and habits that you begin to build, but it's not just the habits alone, it is who I believe myself to be to even embark upon changing my behaviors, to embark upon exceeding what it is that I want to experience in my work and in my life.”“Being different requires a great deal of vulnerability and you have to have the safe and courageous space to confront this stuff.”“The only way to, is through and we can't go through, we can't get through unless we are willing to be cracked open and to be changed. We have to really look at ourselves and be willing to be different with how we feel about things, how we react to things, how things settle in our gut. Otherwise, you can't make new decisions in the moment, you can't do new things if you don't feel yourself open and willing to be different.” STAY IN TOUCHCome and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com. 

    21 | You Need A New Story

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 22, 2023 27:06


    Picture yourself playing at a new professional level; the stakes are higher, your scope of responsibility is broader, and the pressure is palpable. It's a unique blend of excitement and nerves, especially for people of color, who are navigating spaces that might not always feel welcoming. This is fear and it can be paralyzing. The conventional response in this situation is fighting back or getting curious. But here's the thing: I've got a different approach for you—an unexplored option that's like a secret weapon. Join me for a down-to-earth conversation with practical insights and a fresh perspective on embracing fear in a way that feels authentic and manageable. GEMS DROPPED“As long as you're growing, you're gonna keep hitting these growth edges. And these growth edges are meant to scare the shit out of you…. Like, that's the whole point. Otherwise, big growth is not happening. Because big growth entails a lot of ripping away, re-confronting, and that stuff is hard y'all. It's hard. It's scary. It does not feel good. And it can feel very confusing, very illogical, because it's like, when I look back over my story, I see how I got here. So why am I feeling this way?”“There's usually an internal voice, if not several, that says something like, Who do you think you are?  If you can identify that voice and put shape and form around that voice so that it is not this faceless, formless, mystical thing that is just in the atmosphere around you, and then give yourself a bit of space to actually face it, the more that you have power to actually address it. It puts you back in a seat of power. It puts you back in a position of agency and it helps you rewrite this story”.“Our scary voices, those, those things that are, that are trying to speak fear into us, oftentimes are coming from a place of caution, which is coming from a place of protection. And sometimes that same voice, or some version of that voice is still showing up in us when we reach these new heights. And it is asking us to turn to it and say we're safe. We're okay”.STAY IN TOUCHCome and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com. 

    20 | Experiencing Peace While Building Big Scary Things

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 8, 2023 24:25


    In this episode, I explore a powerful and often overlooked aspect of achieving success and finding peace while working hard. Drawing on my own experiences and insights, I highlight the complex dynamics that women, particularly women of color, face in their professional journeys. I challenge the conventional wisdom that peace is primarily linked to self-esteem or confidence and propose a different perspective: peace equals presence. To maintain that presence and peace, I stress the importance of two fundamental elements. By embracing these lifestyle choices, you can detoxify your environment, counteract toxic power dynamics, and remain anchored in your true self. In a world where we often get lost in other people's perceptions, this episode serves as a reminder that finding peace is about coming back to yourself and staying connected to your core identity. Join me on this journey to discover a path to peace and presence that transcends conventional notions of success and leadership.GEMS DROPPED“With each new level of leadership that we ascend to, or that we expand into rather, new things are required of us. New perspectives, new ways of being, new habits are required of us to actually access peace”.“Peace, in my belief, peace equals presence”.“This shift around peace and presence and what we're actually looking to do, it really is about relinquishing this grip that we have on a false sense of control… and this desire and need to control particularly what other people think about us”.  “We can't control whether or not people respect us.  We can do things that are filled with integrity to our own values and to our own mission.  We can do our best to collaborate and to reach across whatever it is we need to reach across to work with folks. But that's all we can do. The focus has to be on ‘what strategies do I need to employ? If we're talking about tactics and things like that, to get the work done? What things do I need to do to get what I need out of this relationship? How can I more and more skillfully begin to understand the ecosystem here, the political system here… whatever these things are that are at play… to just get what I need to happen done? Not how can I get this person to feel a way about me, we gotta let that go. We gotta let that go.” “ The people who see you, help you see yourself clearly”. “ It's hard to be present when you're so busy running around in other people's minds”.STAY IN TOUCHCome and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com. 

    19 | Liberated Business Building with Sabia Wade (aka The Black Doula)

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 25, 2023 68:33


    In this episode, we dive deep into the experiences and wisdom of Sabia Wade, a remarkable Black Queer CEO, Investor, Educator, and Author who's been making waves in the world of birthing and beyond. We reminisce about her childhood and her early concept of "Black luxury." From there, we journey through Sabia's path, from a small business owner to an audacious visionary, embracing her creativity and her resolute belief in the power of asking, "Why not me?"Sabia's journey is an inspiration for many, and her commitment to self-care and representation is a powerful message for anyone on their path to personal and professional growth. Listen in as Sabia takes us through her journey, offering insights and inspiration along the way. Some key points discussed in this episode include:The importance of having a community that validates and values your work, especially as a black creatorUnveiling shared stories of the trauma and experiences of black-birthing individualsRecognizing your needs and not feeling guilty about self-careBuilding and maintaining a supportive team for your personal and professional lifeThe true meaning of restGEMS DROPPED“...you're having this issue in your business because in your personal life, you need to work on that so you can incorporate that into your business”. - Sabia“We can all be of high maintenance, we can all do that at the same time and show up for each other in the ways where it's just like, this is the strength that I have to give it, we're all focused on that..” - Monique“If you don't invent the thing, then you never know what's gonna go right.  Everything that we have on this planet has been created by someone, some brain somewhere, right? And it's like, they didn't know if that thing was gonna pop off …But I just feel like why can't it be me?” - Sabia“For most people, folks of color, in particular, and for many entrepreneurs… if you're thinking differently, you're dreaming differently, you want to create something different, you may not come from some, very specific special, “pedigree,” and is not necessary” - Monique “Every day I can still choose my liberation, even more being in the matrix, right? Because we're in it. We all got capitalism. We all got sexism, bigeye, racism, right? We got all these phobias, all of these things. And, I still choose to do something every day. That is for my liberation”. - Sabia“Everything you do doesn't have to make sense” - Sabia“When you take care of yourself? Yeah, it's always a benefit to the team, right? Whether it's emotionally, financially, whatever the next thing we're gonna do on our part, like, it's always a benefit for me to care for myself”. - Sabia“It takes surrounding yourself with the right people to rest, right. Like we have to build that up around you. We all need that”. - Monique GUEST LINKSLearn more about Sabia Wade | Website | Book | Newsletter | InstagramSTAY IN TOUCHCome and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com. 

    18 | Running a Business And Having A Baby

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 11, 2023 42:21


    In this episode, I share a profound conversation that I had with my amazing mindset coach, where she dropped a bombshell: "Pregnancy is a trauma." This left me truly shaken and I couldn't help but resonate with this statement deeply.  In this first year with my second baby, I had to hold back from screaming in agreement. The truth is, for most of us, pregnancy is far from the glowing, joyful experience often portrayed. It's a complex journey, often fraught with pain, fear, and challenges. What's more, it's a journey that carries the weight of systemic and statistical disparities, particularly for women of color. This episode dives headfirst into the unspoken realities of pregnancy and postpartum experiences, highlighting the need for more support and understanding. It's a conversation that's long overdue, and I'm honored to share it with you. So, join me on this emotional rollercoaster as we explore the profound impact of motherhood, worthiness, and the career-focused world we navigate. GEMS DROPPED“I may not be the coach for you. That's not what this is about. But if you don't have a coach, I need you to rectify that… I really do. And not just any coach obviously. I have been blessed to find the kinds of coaches that I have and to sit at their feet, and to learn about myself through them reflecting back to me and from their sage guidance and wisdoms and strategies …just having walked paths that I'm on but they're ahead of me. And it is everything.”“You cannot live in this society, and be thinking about your future, and your goals or your desires, your interests, your curiosities, and money…somewhere in the recesses of your mind…not play some meaningful role especially as women of color, people of color, or people who don't come from a long lineage of money, we have these poverty scenarios, these destitution scenarios that we have to confront because they're operating in the background.”“Pregnancy is a trauma. I know that we see these extreme cases of people who are having really, really horrible, horrible, horrible things. And so you look at that you're like, ‘well, I didn't have that happen to me.'  Or you have these women who are just like, ‘I love to be pregnant, the glow is real, I had none of that postpartum depression and anxiety.' You're gonna hear basically, the polar opposite ends of that experience and that's it, but there's a whole swathe of us… the majority of us…in between, have had some kind of experience with pregnancy that can be categorized as trauma”.“You feeling, grounded, rooted, firm, clear and connected to your own worthiness and having an empowered relationship to your ability to create money has everything to do with what you go after in life. And so it's not just, ‘oh, I'm tired, oh, I'm emotional and hormonal,' you have gone through something, you are going through something that is way bigger than I ever really hear in social narratives.”MENTIONSBook:The First Forty Days: The Essential Art of Nourishing the New Mother by Heng Ou , Amely Greeven , et al.Book: Ina May's Guide to Childbirth August 7, 2008 by Ina May GaskinBook: Did You Hear About Kitty Karr?: A Novel by Crystal Smith Paul STAY IN TOUCHCome and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an&nb

    17 | Do What You Are Called To Do

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 27, 2023 32:32


    Do you have an idea, a concept, a product, or a business that you are drawn to? Do it! Someone is waiting for you and your unique perspective. Today's episode is all about inspiration. I had past clients reach out to me to share the amazing success they are living right now. Not only does it take me aback that my coaching has impacted my unbelievable clients, but I know their stories will resonate with so many of you. Like so many women, I used to view myself in such a small way. At the time of recording this episode, I'd just received some really moving messages from past clients of mine about how their lives had changed.   These messages really reminded me of what becomes possible when we pursue the work we feel called to do. So many of us are sitting on our talents, vision, and magic. It's so easy to say something isn't good enough, it doesn't have enough degrees behind it, or that no one will care. I want you to trust in your magic. Do not wait for someone to tell you that you are worthy. You've got this, you deserve this, and nothing can hold you back. All you have to do is START.GEMS DROPPED“If there is something that you know that you're just good at, or that you're just drawn to, it's like you have this creative inkling to go and put out into the world, someone is waiting on you. Someone is waiting on you…it's going to matter for someone in the end. You don't know how these things are going to take shape”.“I know that there is someone, there are a lot of us, who are sitting on our visions who are sitting on our talents, or we're just minimizing, the baddest, most exciting, and dopest parts of ourselves”“It doesn't have to look a certain way for you to get out. Take the thing that you know is in you and just give it like you mean it.”“No good ever comes from us thinking of ourselves as insignificant or not significant enough”.“Don't wait to offer the most real, true, honest parts of who you are to the world. Don't wait for someone to tell you that it's time. Don't wait for someone to tell you that it's okay. Don't wait for someone to tell you that you're worthy”.   “Courage takes time, I think to build… time and testing.  You have to put yourself out there in small ways and build and build and build until you can look back and see, oh, wow, look how much I've grown. Look how much I can offer. Look what I can do, right? Sometimes it just does take time to, see our magic”.“The community that you've been waiting for, the community that you have desired and wanted. Actually, it's on the other side of you offering your most true and honest self”.“There's a connection on the other side of you offering your, whatever your thing is. There is a community, there is a person, there is a human being who is waiting for your bat signal so they can be drawn to you so that you can connect for your purpose”. “Doing what you were called to do, showing up as you're meant to show up in the world is not easy. It's going to force you to confront things that make you feel deeply uncomfortable, things that make you feel terrified. And it's not to minimize the fear, it's not to minimize the feelings of terror, those feelings can be real, those feelings are yours, and they are real. And you could give yourself permission to hold those feelings and to just do it messy”.MENTIONSEpisode 07 | Being "Worthy" Of The PivotSTAY IN TOUCHCome and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com. 

    16 | Knowing Your Value Beyond What You Produce

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 13, 2023 40:09


    How do you let go of the version of yourself that is all about producing and achieving? In today's episode, I discuss why it is so terrifying for high-achievers to refrain from valuing themselves outside their ability to produce. This season of fear is a core experience of exceptionally high achievers—that strong attachment to needing to identify as an achiever links to our sense of worthiness. For so many of us, we leveraged that drive to succeed as a means to survival, but what happens after? At some point, hyper-production will no longer serve you, and you will need to find new ways to experience yourself outside of achievement. Breaking away from a singular identity of being an achiever is unbelievably hard because it starts when you stop assigning value to everything you do. Tune in as I share my personal experience in my journey to identify outside of producing. I give exercises to help you reconnect with your humanity and ways to move past the fear and insecurity that is keeping you from experiencing joy, peace, and spiritual freedom. GEMS DROPPED“Whatever it was that you are either running away from, seeking, or trying to create more of, there comes a tipping point of acquisition, this moment where you're like, Well, what do I love? And what do I enjoy? And how do I actually view myself outside of what it is that I can produce”?  “Most of us have identified with this, you know, I produce, I do well, I do things, I build, I create, I tackle for a very, very, very, very long time”. “The way in which we worked through our childhoods, and our young adult lives to get to where we are now, that was out of necessity, but when your life no longer necessitates production in the same way it did, then it's like, who am I? And you hit this point where you've just recognized like, your identity is looking to latch on to something new, but you don't, you haven't been in touch with so many other parts of yourself.”“When life calls us to take on new identities, this old, producer, achiever identity will start to interfere if we don't have ways of being with it differently. We don't have any structures in place to support us with trying to reorient ourselves around this.” “The key, the first step in knowing your value beyond what you produce, is to stop looking for value”.“Finding new ways in the small moments to be different with yourself, to experience and to take some risk and experiencing yourself outside of just being the producer, outside of just being the achiever and learning that you are safe. You'll actually finding that there might be some joy, deepening into some real pleasure and some peace, honey, some peace!”“Ask yourself, if everything was stripped away, and when I say everything, I mean, everything. Everything that you know to be true today in your life, the comforts, everything is stripped away– What would matter most to you? Who would matter most to you? Where would matter most to you? ”   MENTIONEDEP. 14 Spiritual Knowing and Self-Integrity with Josie RosarioSTAY IN TOUCHCome and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com. 

    15 | Learning To Dream First (CEO Series)

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 30, 2023 28:55


    Who do you desire to be, and have you created the space to dream her up?There is a big difference between a goal and a dream. As a high achiever, fundamentals, planning, and logistics are second nature. Instead of prioritizing your dreams, you focus on goals and to-do lists. You end up in a space where you are doing all this hard work but don't feel connected to the amazing thing you are building.Today, I invite you to dream. Our dreams are the North Star against which we can set our goals. That needs to come first. Planting the seeds of dreams starts with building self-trust in the face of fear and uncertainty, which isn't always something that comes naturally. We must teach ourselves to recognize and prioritize peace to force the articulation of the dreamiest version of ourselves. So I ask you, what is your dream?GEMS DROPPED“If you truly want to innovate, if you truly want to build something that doesn't exist in its current form, you want to do something new in the world, this way of growing (through dreaming), it's going to fail you at some point”.“There is a dream and a vision that I have for my life, the kind of life that I want to live that goes beyond being unalone, that goes beyond being surrounded by people that I call friends, or just humans, you know, which definitely is generally a part of the vision. But it goes beyond that. There's some specificity built into how exactly I want that to feel”.“There is a difference between a dream and a goal, there's a difference between a dream and a plan or a strategy. All of those have various roles to play, whether we are talking about something as human, as connection and friendship or if we were talking about business strategy, or leadership growth, or what it means to scale up a team, for example.”“The thing that we will immediately move towards is plans and goals and strategies because as we are high achievers, that's actually the easy stuff. It takes effort, it takes work, it takes putting in more work than maybe the average person will and you recognize that and so it's like, “well, I'm willing to do it. I know that about myself, why am I still fearful?” I want you all to really understand that this starts to get down to this fundamental, almost childlike place for us, where we need to connect to a dream of what it's going to look like”.“The challenge comes into place when you haven't dreamt into the version of yourself that you want to occupy. At this new level of visibility, who do you desire to be? And have you created the space to dream her up? The dream has to come first y'all. We have to learn to give proper credit to this dimension of ourselves. It's not always about the strategies and the plans and the goals.”“We talk about playing big. We talk about expansion and growth. And it's all there. It's all in you. It is. It's just begging you to access yourself. To spend the time to slow it down to access yourself”.“I believe our dreams are anchored in peace because peace lends itself to clarity. Peace lends itself to creativity. Peace lends itself to restiveness which lends itself to clarity. That imaginative state that we need to be able to bask in, to soak up, to shine out. We have to be at peace”“You have the privilege of dreaming, you have it. You've been blessed with it. You got to occupy it”.MENTIONSKemi Doll - Your Unapologetic Career PodcastSTAY IN TOUCHCome and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com. 

    14 | Spiritual Knowing and Self-Integrity with Josie Rosario

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 16, 2023 39:03


    Today's episode includes a special guest! My friend and fellow coach, Josie, is a former therapist who serves as a performance coach for entrepreneurs and teams. She is a disruptive thought leader whose unique mind shifts perspectives for high-performing, successful women. I am excited to share a dialogue between two high-level female executive coaches. Listen in as we touch on the topics of ambition and motivation and how they come together in our lives.  Tune in as Josie, and I talk about conceptualizing a healthy ambition and how our lineage has influenced our lives today. Key points discussed in this episode include:The idea of waking up to your “medicine.”You don't know what you want unless you know who you areUsing values and beliefs as an anchor for ambitionGathering strength from our lineageOvercoming disappointment when an achieved goal doesn't feel rightYou are more than a professional titleGEMS DROPPED“ I think it's time that we wake up, right that we wake up to not only what's happening around us, but really that we wake up to our medicine, I'm always talking about how every single one of us has medicine, right? It doesn't matter what your formal title is, or what role you're in right now what season of life you're in, we all have medicine to offer the people that we are here to be in community with, people that we're here to serve… the people that we're here to guide, whether that's children, clients, whatever… peers, we really need to wake up to that”. - Josie Rosario“Do you know who you are? How do you do that work first to feel safe in your body, to know what is yours, where that core actually resides, and how to be with it. It just never ceases to amaze me how all of this stuff ends up coming back to like one or two core truths about …can you just get still and present with who you are? Can you do the work and spend the energy and the time or find the support, which I know it's not always accessible to so many people… to do that work… but it's critical, because you can't know where you're headed if you don't know where you're located”. - Monique R. Shields“When we want to get deep with ourselves, that's not easy work to do, and that it's okay, if it feels confronting or scary, even at, like the notion of doing that work.” - Monique R. Shields“For us as women of color, as first or second generation, you know, we're not allowed to talk about our mothers, our identity and mothering ourselves and healing those… we're not allowed to publicly talk about them things, you don't say nothing about mama, you don't say nuthin! Right. But there's so much available to us …in chasing this feeling of success, we can be chasing this experience of ourselves with our ambitions.” - Monique R. ShieldsGUEST LINKSLearn more about Josie's program COTERIE, a sacred 6-month intimate experience for womxn of color entrepreneurs to heal the deepest parts of their Mother Wound at josierosario.com/coterie. | Podcast: ‎Healing Meets Hustle on Apple Podcasts | Instagram:@thejosierosarioSTAY IN TOUCHCome and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com. 

    13 | Re-Mothering Ourselves

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 2, 2023 39:11


    Mothering is strongly connected to ambition because it is a core part of the undercurrent of what we are experiencing as women building and creating in the world. I am choosing to open up this conversation because it is difficult, but we all have these personal experiences, and it is crucial to acknowledge that we are not alone in them.This can feel like a particularly challenging topic for those of us who are people of color or first and second generation because it's typically seen as taboo and even disrespectful to ever publicly broach the topic of our mothering outside of doting celebration.  But there is more to our experience of being mothered than that.  This is not a conversation about being ungrateful or attempting to be disloyal. I want us to begin to separate honesty from loyalty and find a safe space to own that how we have experienced mothering is completely subjective to us and we (and our mothers as well) are allowed to hold our individual perspectives of what was and wasn't there and how we feel about it. Our mothering and re-mothering experiences are, in a profound and pervasive way, impacting how we make choices, make decisions, and show up as leaders. I came to an understanding of my own mothering through years of therapy. I came to today's topic through numerous interactions with the women I know and/or have worked with and, in particular, three recent conversations with some important women in my life where I realized there was something special to offer by opening up the (layered!) conversation about our mothering and, more importantly, what it can look like for us to re-mother ourselves (and each other) as grown women.   So I wanted to share some stories today and offer my unique perspective of why I was empowered to reexamine, reassess, and redefine what mothering looks like for myself, my children, and the women in my village who are re-mothering alongside me. GEMS DROPPED“We are carrying our mothers' stories, we're carrying the most beautiful and powerful… like in ways that the world never recognized in them, not truly not in a way that was congruent with just how amazing they truly are and what potential they carry. And, what opportunities they should have had … what shots they should have been able to take, and we're carrying their dreams. And many times …in many cases, their broken dreams [we] are carrying that with us and all of their potential and that can be heavy. Like you can hold that as an honor. You can hold that as a lot of things. But it's also …I don't care what anyone says… that's heavy. It's a whole human's potential that, in many ways, was overlooked and stomped on right, systemically. ““We never stopped needing mothering. We never stopped needing it. And it's hard when you just can't access it in the ways that you need it most. It's hard. It really really, really is. and it will impact what you go after”.“I think a big part of what makes things realistic is looking back at what has actually been true. And what do I know about where this is coming from? That is not based in my current reality, that this is based on some old stuff, that this is based on some emotional reckoning that is trying to occur, but it's not based on the actual data of what's available to me, what's going on in the world? What is most likely based on my experiences?” “I have to work with myself in these ways to re-mother because the experiences of my past and what I feel emotionally obligated to or like I'm being pushed to rise into that I don't have it…, it's not real.” STAY IN TOUCHCome and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com. 

    12 | Allowing Your Ambition To Evolve with Jereshia Hawk

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 19, 2023 60:19


    I am excited to welcome Jereshia Hawk to the podcast. She is a highly sought-after business coach whose mission is to narrow the racial wealth gap by helping industry professionals leverage their expertise to chart new career paths with strategic online sales. Jereshia grew her business to multi-millions (creating $1MM in PROFIT during one of those years) in less than four years! I know her story will inspire you. This episode is about uncovering how Jereshia's ambition unfolded. Not only is there so much to learn from her success, but I know you will connect with her personal experiences as a Black woman high-achiever who comes from humble beginnings. She is an incredible example of how believing in yourself, knowing there is more to achieve, and connecting to an unwavering sense of ambition is an unstoppable combination.  Tune in as we dive deep into heavy topics such as:The effect of "proximity to possibility."Believing in more out of necessity & survivalThe power of accepting & embracing where you are right nowSeeing yourself as more than what you are able to producePersonal growth & ambition beyond making moneyGEMS DROPPED“I don't know if I ever had this moment in time where I was like, I have this infinite belief in myself that I can do anything. I think a lot of my, like, belief in more was rooted in how clearly I knew what I never wanted to experience”.- Jereshia  Hawk“We just never know how we can be shaping and influencing other people's ambitions and dreams”. - Monique R. Shields“...you have to understand the customer and know who you're for and who you're not for…know when to cut the tie versus wasting the time and when to invest in that in the communication of the relationship.” - Jereshia  Hawk“You need somebody who can teach you privileges that you don't have”.- Jereshia  Hawk“Sales is not really about just the act of sales, it's about how you view the world and how you understand human behavior and people”.  - Monique R. Shields“It has to be a Divine Alignment. You have to be operating in your obedience and I have to be maybe operating in mine and it's a prayer answered in both ways. That's how I know that that's the client for me…that's the filter”. - Jereshia  Hawk“I used to think that freedom was, ‘I get to do whatever I want.' And it is, but I've recognized that when I feel the most free is when I have really beautiful structure in place… the structure allows me to experience freedom”. - Jereshia  Hawk“It's not about, ‘Oh, I already know the answers. I don't need support.' But it's like you might need to surrender to an environment that allows you to unravel your truth to fully come out, like the truth is in you, you need that space sometimes to be held for it to be released”. - Jereshia  HawkGUEST LINKSInstagram: Instagram (@jereshiahawk)Podcast: ‎Jereshia Said on Apple PodcastsYouTube: Jereshia SaidSTAY IN TOUCHCome and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com. 

    11 | When Relationships Take More Than They Give

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 5, 2023 40:24


    Today I'm talking about relationships and the imbalance that so many of us are experiencing and tolerating in our relationships with other people. When I say people, I mean EVERYONE - your friends, family, investors, employees, and clients. This topic matters so much because too many of us are in lopsided relationships. We are giving more than we are receiving. Women, especially, can be so willing to give, and give, and give. But we have to choose something different. Our money, missions, and joy are on the line because of how we engage in relationships.We allow people, organizations, clients, customers, and teams to enter our life willy-nilly. The threshold for engagement is too low. We think that current mistreatment will make us worthy or more ready for a future where that doesn't exist, but it doesn't work this way.  It's much easier to endure things when you haven't taken the time to be specific about what you need. Don't let imbalanced relationships harm your spirit. You deserve more. It's up to you to make the shift.GEMS DROPPED“...many of us are actually moving through our lives and our professional experiences. … below rock bottom, and completely unaware of it because we won't allow ourselves to feel the true pain, the true rage, the true sadness, that exists here, right now, if we allow ourselves to feel it, we'd make some new decisions. And that's scary. We'd have to change. And that's scary”.“...being specific is critical, especially when we're trying to make a change. We know something isn't right where we are right now. We know it's not right. It's because we're allowing ourselves to operate in vagueness, it's much easier to continue to endure things when you haven't taken the time to be specific and precise around what needs to be what and why”.“Just because I've known you for 15, 20, 30 years, or more, doesn't mean we're friends. …the fact that that can be automatic for some of us, is getting us in trouble. We are extending loyalty to folks that have just been around for a long time that have been mislabeled as ‘friends' because we have said time equals friendship in this instance for some reason, and they have done nothing friend-like true blue friend-like to actually have acquired their title”.“We have these different types of friends. Not any individual can be your everything. I don't think that any friend (professional, personal) can be your everything... This is to say that there are certain things that we have to define ahead of entering into [friendship]… ahead of labeling people, friends – that we should know what we're talking about first, what does ‘friend' mean to you? … time does not equal friendship, not in and of itself”.  “People don't need to earn my energy. People don't need to earn my connection. People don't need to earn my time, people don't need to earn my loyalty. All of those things are built on trust, trust is earned. Trust is demonstrated”. “We as humans impact each other, like on a cellular level, … we have to be thoughtful about who gets in, and who we're calling friend, who we are saying that we are in relationship with… who we allow to take up that space, it should be earned”.“You laying yourself bare to just be trampled upon in a relationship is not a show of gratitude. That is simply a demonstration of inequity and abuse”.MENTIONEDMonique's client referral site:  moniquershields.com/referralSTAY IN TOUCHCome and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com.

    10 | Teaching Your Team How To Treat You (CEO Series)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 21, 2023 40:48


    Let's discuss what it means to teach people how to treat you. You can't go out into the world expecting people to understand how you specifically need to be treated. This especially holds true when you are in a leadership position because your time and energy have to be optimized.In this episode, I challenge you to answer this question: "How do you want to be treated?" I want you to identify what matters to you regarding your treatment as a leader. It's okay to feel hesitation or confusion about this. As a woman in leadership, or as a woman of color in leadership, you desire to lead a team in a way that's different from what you've experienced in your past roles. You want equity. You want your team to feel heard and supported.But a big part of leadership has nothing to do with democracy and everything to do with you getting clear on what you need and what your expectations are. So we must learn how to shift back and forth between being open-minded or collaborative and being very specific and directive about what we want our team to do or not do.This starts with learning how to articulate what you need from your team as a leader. We need to assert what we want in life. Unfortunately, that is a skill that most women of color are grossly inexperienced in. Ask for help. Engage with a coach. Because making this a priority will drastically change how you feel and move as a leader. GEMS DROPPED“You have to train people for how you want to be treated. You can't go out into the world expecting people to understand how you specifically need to be treated. …this holds especially true when you're in a position of leadership because your time and your energy have to be so well optimized. It's critical that the folks who say they're on the team with you, the folks that you hire, the folks that you're engaging with day to day to get things done towards your mission, towards the vision of your business, they need to know how to … best leverage you and how to best set you up for success because by setting you up for success as the leader, they set themselves and the entire organization up for success…we as women of color are particularly untrained in how to do this… it's really uncomfortable for us”.“As a leader, it can feel like this dichotomy of either I am democratic, or I am a dictator… Either I am someone who is a doormat or I am a big boss, ‘shut it down. Shut up. I don't care what you have to say,' right? Like, this false dichotomy, right? Y'all know, and whenever I talk about dichotomies, they're not real. There are always tons of shades of gray in between, there are so many different options and nuances in between and ways that we can be with our leadership… being a strong leader, getting things done, and getting what we need out of our teams without having to occupy either of those polarizing states”. As women of color, we are grossly under-resourced and under-leveraged. And so when you've positioned yourself to be in a leadership role, and then all of a sudden, it's like, here I go, again, I'm getting that feeling of being under-resourced …it's like we're being re-triggered…just more evidence …, in our minds that I don't deserve to be here, I'm not equipped… Because we've been hearing these messages forever in our careers, in our lives, and in the broader media. …our absence in these spaces, in these places of leadership in these places of like well-resourced, well-funded, you know, our absence says it all.”STAY IN TOUCHCome and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com. 

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