Barflys & Butterflies

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Four New York City friends and occasional guests of varying age, background, sexuality, etc. meet over drinks to discuss all topics life. The goal: to express themselves, enjoy each other's company, think and hopefully learn something in the process.

Barflys & Butterflies

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    • Apr 5, 2022 LATEST EPISODE
    • every other week NEW EPISODES
    • 1h 6m AVG DURATION
    • 118 EPISODES


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    Latest episodes from Barflys & Butterflies

    Attention

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 5, 2022 80:06


    After a month long break, the fellas are back in a fun episode that goes all in on Attention. Ground covered includes an old pic of Brian's ass featuring in Jamal's recent breakup, the overwhelming competition for people's attention, the difficulty of breaking through the signal-to-noise ratio, what grabs us enough to click and why, the share button as word of mouth, ADD/ADHD and Adderall, negative attention (embarrassment), Turkish Guy's good looking yet non-photogenic family, breathing into it, preening/peacocking/flexing, withholding attention to get attention, intentional social media hiatuses, wooters, the art of the subtle flex, the importance of self-attention, attention balance in relationships, being in the room vs. being present, getting attention vs. holding it, and, of course, the latest rebrand of I$H.Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

    Inspiration

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 2, 2022 74:30


    The fellas go all in on Inspiration, using the undeniably authentic courage shown by Ukraine's president as a jumping off point.Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

    Diary of a Mad Man - Glory to Ukraine edition

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 2, 2022 58:16


    Brian talks all things Ukraine and why it matters to you. Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

    Trust

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 1, 2022 80:29


    The fellas go all in on Trust. Ground covered includes Dan's ramped up segue game, the (mis)information wars, the Joe Rogan/Spotify controversy, trust as a vital source of happiness, Moldova, the disproportionate response to inconvenience in America, the played out red/blue binary of our society, the confusing nature of random/unnecessary lies, the importance of logic/rationale/consistency in building trust, Britney Spears, the importance of friends who will always be straight with you, the danger in selling paranoia, civil war, motivation as a source of distrust, celebrity crypto shills, not-for-nothingisms, and Newt Gingrich's long history of glamouring GT. Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

    Anxiety

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 25, 2022 76:24


    The fellas go all in on Anxiety. Ground covered includes Dan's return to NYC, Brian's inherited anxiety regarding time commitments, a Liam Neeson-less rendition of the movie ‘Taken', sourcing in relation to anxiety, Earth Runners, American Utopia, positive forms of anxiety (pre-performance butterflies), the hell that is moving, the pitfalls of being too constricted or too loose, the technology-fueled creep of work life into personal time, ignoring all inner commentary after 10pm, the Sunday Scaries, GT's love for his weighted blanket, fidget spinner tricks, using physicality to affect mentality, and the danger of devaluing real issues through the over/incorrect use of terminology. Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

    Narrative

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 6, 2022 77:24


    The fellas go all in on Narrative. Ground covered includes buzzword overuse in everyday life, the devaluation of overworked language, the double edged sword of repetition, the mainstreaming of storytelling jargon and formulas, Jamal's sexy underwear, the stories we tell in how we present ourselves, inside jokes as a form of layered narrative, everyone being the hero of their own story, inclusion/exclusion in narrative (IYKYK), the danger of weighting all information as equal, cherrypicking a narrative before having all the information, untrustworthy narrators, Dragon's Lair, the Venn diagram formed by overlapping lives/narratives, Disney Princesses and, of course, a 6'8” Tom Cruse.Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

    Analytics

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 29, 2021 64:24


    The fellas go all in on Analytics. Ground covered includes Jamal's return after a long hiatus, Ken's dominant victory in fantasy football, triaging your day, analytics already present in our lives (screen time, steps, floors climbed, views, listens, likes, downloads, bank activity, etc), applying analytics to your personal life, memory as an untrustworthy narrator, fighting the last war, pattern recognition, Brian's personal test from the Matrix, the vulnerability of data to be skewed to a desired result, pleasure vs. gratification, feelings vs. metrics, leveling up, experience as data, and paralysis through analysis.    Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

    Boundaries

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 10, 2021 59:32


    The fellas go all in on Boundaries in a very fun episode. Ground covered includes personal space, buffer zones, red lines, the potential Russian invasion of Ukraine, a whole lot of examples involving “friends”, trolling and provocation, texting style by age group, the importance of communication in establishing boundaries, the pitfalls of using clinical language in emotional situations, Dan's hangry cat, the usefulness of resting bitch face, managing expectations, proportionality, the power of attraction to override established boundaries, and a fantasy football conflict gone nuclear. Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

    Gratitude

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 26, 2021 61:57


    The fellas go all in on Gratitude. Ground covered includes the emptiness of relative/negative gratitude, the awkwardness of dead people on Facebook, the performative underbelly of gratitude, Brian's comeback vehicle for Katherine Heigl and himself, the ties between gratitude, guilt and selfishness, the overwhelming value of awareness and assessment, the human tendency to take things for granted, the personal nature of gratitude, spiritual bargaining and porcelain prayers, fiscally challenged vampires, and the importance of appreciating the good stuff when it happens.Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

    Perception

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 18, 2021 72:54


    The fellas go all in on Perception, using the Kyle Rittenhouse trial as a jumping off point.Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

    Diary of a Mad Man - Accountability edition

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 27, 2021 45:10


    Brian discusses the urgent need for true accountability surrounding the events of January 6th as the country continues its slow slide from a cold civil war to the other kind.Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

    Instinct

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 19, 2021 67:59


    The fellas go all in on Instinct. Ground covered includes the differences between instinct, impulse and intuition, the society-wide butchering of the word ‘literally', people who vocally turn every sentence into a question, red flags and their trending emojis, a cat's ability to find the warmest spot in a room, krav maga, the value of not thinking, GT's contribution to the corruption of a celebrity minor, the agony of too many choices, overpainting, the human conundrum of knowing when to trust or deny our instincts, the power of the subconscious, the importance of vibes, and, of course, the Myers-Briggs test.Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

    Trolling

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 1, 2021 72:26


    The fellas go all in on Trolling. Ground covered includes Dan's tough Fantasy Football weekend, the profits in professional trolling, clickbait, breaking the signal to noise ratio via controversy, the inherent trolling of advertising, Jessica Alba, fucking with your friends vs strangers, the rule differences of real life and online conflict, picking friends by their sense of humor, reverse trolling, vague trolling, the metaverse, proportionate response, friendships lost over internet fights, keyboard warriors and internet tough guys, the shifting morals of doxxing, hive mind, and, of course, nominative determinism.Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

    Doubt

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 21, 2021 73:28


    The fellas go all in on Doubt. Ground covered includes a rare semi-cold open featuring space monkeys and severe haircuts, the cheapening of information due to overabundace, Descartes, the Matrix, the cynical fabrications of doubt around our elections, the lack of critical thinking in modern society, the necessity of showing your work, skepticism, cynicism, pessimism, nihilism and a whole bunch of isms, theatre capacity as a tool to interpret statistics, the importance of a large data pool, the human desire for certainty, and of course, Independence Day.Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

    Pain

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 15, 2021 67:47


    The fellas go all in on Pain. Ground covered includes Brian's sweaty visit to the dentist, the anticipation of pain outweighing the pain itself, the insidiousness of small talk, the brain's power to heighten pleasure and pain, the physical empathy and reactions generated by  stories of other people's injuries, a testicle unspooled, pain's power to bring you fully into the moment, the brutality and social ostracization surrounding chronic illnesses and diseases, the inability to bite your own tongue on purpose, the importance of pain in the healing process, old people's joy in discussing their ailments, and fantasy football for life.Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

    Beliefs

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 9, 2021 69:03


    The fellas go all in on Beliefs. Ground covered includes Jamal's reaction to OnlyFans's short-lived policy changes, GT lies about his reading list, Brian announces he is firmly pro-reality, the Texas abortion law, the human ability to hold contradictory beliefs, the carrot and stick quality of religion and lottery tickets, the role of superstition in daily life, the built in conceit factor of many beliefs, karma, the curious absence of conspiracy theories around unsuccessful assassinations, and the importance of not only having opinions, but leaving space for them to evolve.Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

    Embarrassment

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 17, 2021 66:37


    The fellas go all in on Embarrassment. Ground covered includes algorithms and Insta reels, the tragic and humiliating botched exit from Afghanistan, the natural human instinct to laugh at  the literal missteps of others, the universality of the shart, embarrassment as a symptom of failed image control,  the power of laughing when you trip, awkward overheard bar conversations, and that uncomfortable look your pets give you when doing their business.    Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

    Popularity

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 11, 2021 68:19


    The fellas go all in on Popularity. Ground covered includes the podcast crew's spotty track record of social media sanctions, Frank “Garbage” Mancuso, Ferris Bueller, the idea that everything is high school, the power of authenticity, the generalization of content in order to reach the broadest audience, crossover stars, Brian's theory the Rachel haircut of the 90's birthed the Karen haircut of today, the need for recognition, the periodic table of douchebags, and the popularity and profitability of haters.  Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

    100

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 5, 2021 67:11


    The fellas go all in on their hundredth episode. Ground covered includes all the ground covered over the past two years. Listen up, listen in! Cheers!Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

    Intention

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 28, 2021 68:33


    The fellas go all in on Intention in a loosey goosey episode that strays all over the place. Ground covered includes Ken's upcoming art show in Brooklyn, the potential downsides of being a good samaritan, the hollow effect of “I didn't mean it like that”, Connie Francis's honor, authenticity being naturally fed by intention, catcalling for dummies, the questionable value (and inherent danger) of hypotheticals, Indecent Proposal, the importance of acting with intention in your daily life, AND, 99 episodes in, the true intention of the podcast is revealed.  Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

    Obsession

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 21, 2021 69:44


    The fellas go all in on Obsession. Ground covered includes the re-platforming of Jamal's erotic escapism page, the rebranded slang definition of obsessed, Brian's memorable visit to an American Girl Doll Store, obsession as part of “going through a phase”, remembering what the O in OCD stands for, relationships, small distractions versus fixation, internet rabbit holes, GT's Lifetime movie-inspired childhood lies, losing your center of gravity to someone else, the surprising normalcy of obsessive moments in your day, and yet another mispronunciation of the word tangentially. Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

    Control

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 14, 2021 69:12


    The fellas go all in on Control. Ground covered includes the difference between routines and rituals and the benefits of combining them, the illusion of control, assigning blame versus actually addressing problems, the danger of information control, alternate facts, social media algorithms, mini acts of rebellion, the notion that we all turn into our parents, the value of ‘steering into the skid', the willingness to let someone else take the wheel, the idea that the game slows down when you think less, and the eternal struggle to find balance.Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

    Loneliness

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 30, 2021 69:46


    The fellas go all in on Loneliness. Ground covered includes the dying advantages of mask wearing, the anonymity of a large crowd, ground rules for pimps, the need to invest in socialization for a return, raves, the negative connotation surrounding loneliness, the Ray Liotta cocaine pinky, codependency, the marketing of friendship, social media, dating apps, missed connections and the individual prisms we see the world through. Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

    Time

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 24, 2021 71:22


    The fellas go all in on Time.  We're so pressed for it we can't even give you a recap.Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

    Fairness

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 8, 2021 68:59


    The fellas go all in on Fairness.  Ground covered includes the 'it is what it is' outlook as an acceptance of unfairness, the Propublica IRS data dump, GT looking out for our listeners in Kyrgyzstan, the inability to legislate outcome, Jamal talking revolution, 'The System', hypothetical Cornhole scenarios gone awry, HR1, the Black Forager, and Dan finally admitting his propensity to one day rob banks.Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

    Resilience

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 2, 2021 67:53


    The fellas go all in on Resilience. Ground covered includes the reemergence of NYC and beyond, transformation versus continuation, a quick rant on the current labor supply shortage, critical infrastructure hacks, goldfish memories (again), the go along to get along attitude as a form of resilience, and, of course, the Mountbattens. Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

    Diary of a Mad Man - Suppression edition

    Play Episode Listen Later May 26, 2021 56:00


    Brian checks in with some fresh political anger. Weird, right?Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

    Things We Hate

    Play Episode Listen Later May 18, 2021 87:27


    The fellas welcome Dan back to the fold and go all in on things we hate.  Ground covered includes small talk, passive aggressiveness, talking over others,  the debate surrounding the return to office life,  one way conversations,  story topping, selfishness and some helpful NYC tourist advice. Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

    Escapism

    Play Episode Listen Later May 11, 2021 76:41


    The fellas go all in on Escapism. Ground covered includes more Sex and the City talk than one might expect, guilty pleasures, hate-watching, snobbery, Brian’s sobering pandemic realization, the human need to judge others, the value of getting lost in something, ego, charcuterie, Martha Stewart and a multiple alarm fire. Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

    Insecurity

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 27, 2021 82:34


    Four New York City friends and occasional guests of varying age, background, sexuality, etc. meet over drinks to discuss all topics life. The goal: to express themselves, enjoy each other's company, think and hopefully learn something in the process.Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

    Weed

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 20, 2021 97:34


    Four New York City friends and occasional guests of varying age, background, sexuality, etc. meet over drinks to discuss all topics life. The goal: to express themselves, enjoy each other's company, think and hopefully learn something in the process.Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

    Adaptation

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 13, 2021 82:04


    Four New York City friends and occasional guests of varying age, background, sexuality, etc. meet over drinks to discuss all topics life. The goal: to express themselves, enjoy each other's company, think and hopefully learn something in the process.Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

    Self-Sabotage

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 6, 2021 82:53


    Four New York City friends and occasional guests of varying age, background, sexuality, etc. meet over drinks to discuss all topics life. The goal: to express themselves, enjoy each other's company, think and hopefully learn something in the process.Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

    Feelings

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 30, 2021 76:57


    Four New York City friends and occasional guests of varying age, background, sexuality, etc. meet over drinks to discuss all topics life. The goal: to express themselves, enjoy each other's company, think and hopefully learn something in the process.Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

    Patience

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 23, 2021 89:42


    Four New York City friends and occasional guests of varying age, background, sexuality, etc. meet over drinks to discuss all topics life. The goal: to express themselves, enjoy each other's company, think and hopefully learn something in the process.Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

    Habits - Simple Syrup edition

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 16, 2021 79:21


    Four New York City friends and occasional guests of varying age, background, sexuality, etc. meet over drinks to discuss all topics life. The goal: to express themselves, enjoy each other's company, think and hopefully learn something in the process.Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

    Communication

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 9, 2021 83:24


    Four New York City friends and occasional guests of varying age, background, sexuality, etc. meet over drinks to discuss all topics life. The goal: to express themselves, enjoy each other's company, think and hopefully learn something in the process.Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

    Cancel Culture II - Language edition

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 4, 2021 95:53


    Four New York City friends and occasional guests of varying age, background, sexuality, etc. meet over drinks to discuss all topics life. The goal: to express themselves, enjoy each other's company, think and hopefully learn something in the process.Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

    Loyalty

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 23, 2021 78:35


    Four New York City friends and occasional guests of varying age, background, sexuality, etc. meet over drinks to discuss all topics life. The goal: to express themselves, enjoy each other's company, think and hopefully learn something in the process.Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

    Manipulation

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 12, 2021 72:11


    Four New York City friends and occasional guests of varying age, background, sexuality, etc. meet over drinks to discuss all topics life. The goal: to express themselves, enjoy each other's company, think and hopefully learn something in the process.Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

    Competition

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 5, 2021 81:20


    Four New York City friends and occasional guests of varying age, background, sexuality, etc. meet over drinks to discuss all topics life. The goal: to express themselves, enjoy each other's company, think and hopefully learn something in the process.Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

    Speculation

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 29, 2021 77:20


    Four New York City friends and occasional guests of varying age, background, sexuality, etc. meet over drinks to discuss all topics life. The goal: to express themselves, enjoy each other's company, think and hopefully learn something in the process.Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

    Grudges

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 23, 2021 76:07


    Four New York City friends and occasional guests of varying age, background, sexuality, etc. meet over drinks to discuss all topics life. The goal: to express themselves, enjoy each other's company, think and hopefully learn something in the process.Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

    Diary of a Mad Man - Reckoning edition

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 13, 2021 58:06


    Four New York City friends and occasional guests of varying age, background, sexuality, etc. meet over drinks to discuss all topics life. The goal: to express themselves, enjoy each other's company, think and hopefully learn something in the process.Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

    Travel

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 6, 2021 76:30


    Four New York City friends and occasional guests of varying age, background, sexuality, etc. meet over drinks to discuss all topics life. The goal: to express themselves, enjoy each other's company, think and hopefully learn something in the process.Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

    2020-That's a Wrap edition

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 30, 2020 79:16


    Four New York City friends and occasional guests of varying age, background, sexuality, etc. meet over drinks to discuss all topics life. The goal: to express themselves, enjoy each other's company, think and hopefully learn something in the process.Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

    Humility

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 22, 2020 81:55


    Four New York City friends and occasional guests of varying age, background, sexuality, etc. meet over drinks to discuss all topics life. The goal: to express themselves, enjoy each other's company, think and hopefully learn something in the process.Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

    Diary of a Mad Man - Sedition edition

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 16, 2020 48:23


    Four New York City friends and occasional guests of varying age, background, sexuality, etc. meet over drinks to discuss all topics life. The goal: to express themselves, enjoy each other's company, think and hopefully learn something in the process.Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

    Destiny

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 9, 2020 80:07


    Four New York City friends and occasional guests of varying age, background, sexuality, etc. meet over drinks to discuss all topics life. The goal: to express themselves, enjoy each other's company, think and hopefully learn something in the process.Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

    Fun

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 2, 2020 74:16


    Four New York City friends and occasional guests of varying age, background, sexuality, etc. meet over drinks to discuss all topics life. The goal: to express themselves, enjoy each other's company, think and hopefully learn something in the process.Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

    Disillusionment

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 21, 2020 71:30


    Four New York City friends and occasional guests of varying age, background, sexuality, etc. meet over drinks to discuss all topics life. The goal: to express themselves, enjoy each other's company, think and hopefully learn something in the process.Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)

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