Terrible Book Club

This week, Paris turns up the Perturbator records, dons some aviators and a trenchcoat, and heads out into the rainy nights of 1980s Milwaukee to help our Patron Fred. Fred wrote to us saying, “...the sheer notion of a murder mystery with Happy Days characters that is apparently officially sanctioned by whoever owns the rights is enough to give me pause. I can't even find any information about why th[is] book was made and I just end up asking myself, “Who is this for?” because while I don't doubt that Happy Days still has a large fan base, I don't think many people would want to read a book about how one of the best characters on the show gets murdered.” We hope you enjoy this episode, Fred! Thank you so much for supporting TBC. Remember that if you, too, would like to have us read and review a book of your choice on the show, you can gain that power by joining our Patreon at the appropriate tier. Today's episode includes our usual barnyard language in addition to infidelity, kidnapping, murder, and one brief moment of drug use. Additional Links: Interview with James Boice (2011) Interview with James Boice about his writing of Who Killed the Fonz? (2019)

Chris has to travel to another reality again today - this time, it's a Grecian fantasy world that isn't actually Greek! Speaking of Greece, thank you to The Metal Classicist Dr. Jeremy Swist for pronunciation help on today's episode. Our Patron Austin sent Chris on this voyage through the world of In the Ravenous Dark by A.M. Strickland for his Patron's Choice this year saying this was, "...a book about a girlfailure who ends up step-cousins to the royal family, all of which become inexplicably interested in either becoming her friend, fucking her, or both. Some highlights includ[e] a first chapter that involves fucking on top of a two story gazeebo, an island of vaguely celtic wizards who all have anime hair and eyes, a love interest who does that scene with JOI and the prostitute in Blade Runner 2049, and distracting your ghost bodyguard by almost flashing your tits at him." We hope you enjoy the episode, Austin! Thank you for your longtime support of TBC. Remember that if you, too, would like to have us read and review a book of your choice on the show, you can gain that power by joining our Patreon at the appropriate tier. Today's episode includes our usual barnyard language in addition to discussion or mention of blood, corpses, death/dying, necromancy, and sex.

Nearly 5 years ago to the day, we reviewed The Horse of the Invisible with our very best podfriends the Antiques Freaks. Years later, we realized that we had never actually read the story aloud as we had promised you, as we've done with all the other Carnacki stories. Once again, we were wrong - there is yet one more 'nack to Carn, so the Terrible Antique Book Freaks assembled anew! Dust off your Carnacki Bingo cards and enjoy a second round of the gobble-neighing contest, all set to the impeccable scoring and SFX talents of Chris (Oselka Sound). If you haven't had enough invisible horse after you listen to this episode, you can also hear our review of the story from April of 2020 in Episode 83 - The Horse of the Invisible from Carnacki, the Ghost Finder by William Hope Hodgson *Special Guests D & Ken from Antiques Freaks* 

The Devil in the White City: Murder, Magic, and Madness at the Fair that Changed America by Erik Larson has been floating around in the American pop cultural stew for the last 22 years. Paris had always been interested in reading it, so when it happened to be in a pile of books some friends were giving away, she heeded the call of our dark lord and tossed it on the schedule for 2025. Get on your fancy new bicycles, affix a lightbulb to the front, grab a can of PBR, and somehow also balance a bowl of Shredded Wheat while you're at it for a wild journey from the 1880s through the early 20th century. Paris leads us through Larson's dual accounts of the 1893 Chicago World's Fair and its Director of Work, Daniel Hudson Burnham, alongside the Chicago years of "America's first serial killer", H.H. Holmes (Herman Webster Mudgett). If you think you know the Holmes story because you already read this book or saw some TV dramatization - you don't. Together, we'll discover that misinformation and disinformation have suffused this story for 120 years (and counting)! Thanks to Ken from the Antiques Freaks for helping me down the research rabbit hole & to Adam Selzer for a stellar book, without which much of our disappointment in and suspicions of Larson's tale would not have been justified and relieved.  In addition to our usual barnyard language, today's episode includes swindling/fraud, infidelity, sexism, racism, and murder. Links & References: H.H. Holmes: The History of the White City Devil by Adam Selzer

Chris had to go to space again this week. This time, he takes us to a galaxy kinda far away and sort of a while ago (or maybe now? or in the future?) because our Patron Miles requested Black Moon Rising for his Patron's Choice this year. Miles wrote to us saying, "Since I requested two books in a row that were both deeply political, I figured I'd instead give you guys something lighter: published Star Wars fanfiction. The book I'm referring to is Black Moon Rising by Frankie Rose and Callie Hart...to give you an idea of how egregious it is, it starts with a prologue that feels designed to be turned into a Star Wars text crawl. It then jumps directly to [the protagonist] who[se] name is literally Reyza, having a graphic sex dream involving the main antagonist, Jass Baylar." We hope you enjoy the episode, Miles! Thank you for your support for TBC throughout the vast spacetime continuum. Remember that if you, too, would like to have us read and review a book of your choice on the show, you can gain that power by joining our Patreon at the appropriate tier. Today's episode includes our usual barnyard language plus some sexual content, Star Wars violence, and weaponry. Links & References: Other commentary on this book: Jenny Nicholson: This is DEFINITELY not a published Reylo fanfic novel

Somehow we ended up with another zombie romance around Valentine's Day for the second year in a row. Paris chose Rabid Heart for this season after her partner randomly turned to her one day last year and said, “Hey did you realize Jeremy Wagner from Broken Hope is an author?” This piqued her interest since she fondly remembers being at Broken Hope's comeback show at Maryland Death Fest 13 years ago. It's not usually her type of death metal, but something about that show was extra fun and every now and then when she's feeling ignorant and wants some dumb slammy shit, she may put on Grotesque Blessings. When reading for TBC that's kind of peak “I am feeling dumb and also full of rage”, so she listened to a lot of Broken Hope while reading this. Wagner sure has a theme and he's sticking to it! In addition to our usual barnyard language, today's episode includes gore, guns, kidnapping, sexual assault, general violence, weapons, and - of course - zombies. Have you listened to a brutal slam record recently? It's that. Links & References: The publisher's website: Riverdale Avenue Books Jeremy Wagner's band: https://brokenhope.com/ Metal Archives - Broken Hope

Our Patron Beastwiththeleast sent us Lunar Justice through the mail, presumably straight from his colony on the moon. This may be our favorite way of receiving Patron requests. Join us today for a very 1990s version of the future, including judicial malfeasance, musical patents, jurisdictional insanity, and guillotines - in space! We hope you enjoy the episode, Beastwiththeleast. Thank you for your steadfast support (and for sending us this book)! Remember that if you, too, would like to have us read and review a book of your choice on the show, you can gain that power by joining our Patreon at the appropriate tier. Today's episode just includes our usual barnyard language. Links & References: Turning Jupiter into a Red Dwarf/Second Star: What would the effects be if Jupiter was turned into a star? Physics Stack Exchange: Could Jupiter become a star? Science Focus: Could Jupiter become a star? Podcast Episode Recommendation: The Emerald - Your Consciousness Comes from the Moon .

Paris tackles today's selection, which was suggested by listener Deborah, self-proclaimed Unrepentant Sinner! She wrote in to us last summer saying, "Would you consider an episode on a book popular in another era but one that is actually currently being sold to indoctrinate the home school religious zealots? Elsie Dinsmore was popular after the Civil War. I first read a copy that was my mother's or grandmother's. Elsie is this smarmy goody-goody who is despised by her daddy and the aunt, uncle, and cousins she lives with for being such a devout Christian...I have abhorred this book since I first read it but I so enjoy tearing it apart. The fact that people still buy it is so disturbing!” We had never heard of this series before so we were excited to add it to the schedule as it was a different terrible flavor for us - Victorian Christian child lit. Thanks so much, Deborah! We hope you enjoy the episode. Musings and derailments in this episode include:  Gentle Giant - I Lost My Head (Live, 1976) In addition to our usual barnyard language, today's episode includes discussion or mention of ableism, grooming, parental abuse, racism, slavery, and Victorian-flavored Christianity. Mmm - lead!

Happy (?) new year, listeners. We discuss Chris's journey through the latest Maradonia book that reboots the series entirely, proving that we are all caught in this loop together within the worst timeline. Although not strictly necessary, we recommend listening to the other Maradonia episodes in the following order: Maradonia and the Seven Bridges (Book 1 of the Maradonia Saga/Series) by Gloria Tesch - Episode 11 (2015) Maradonia and the Escape from the Underworld (Book 2 of the Maradonia Saga/Series) by Gloria Tesch - Episode 62 (2019) Maradonia and the Gold of Ophir (Book 3 of the Maradonia Saga/Series) by Gloria Tesch *Patron's Choice* - Episode 63 (2019) The Secret of Moon Lake by Sofia Nova (Gloria Tesch) *Patron's Choice* - Episode 86 (2020) Maradonia and the Law of Blood (Book 4 of the Maradonia Saga/Series) by Gloria Tesch *Patron's Choice* - Episode 87 (2020) Today's episode just includes our usual barnyard language.

It's the final episode of Season 9! Luna's Edge was self-published in June of 2024 by author Roxana Macias. Just like our last episode, this author contacted us and asked us to read their book. While we normally don't take authors up on these offers, the book was described as a bilingual sci-fi novel which sounded like a new and potentially fun concept for us. While we thought the bilingual aspect was squandered and this was more draft than final manuscript, this concept could work with a more narrow focus, deeper emotional nuance, and a second editor. Thanks to Roxana for giving us a free review copy of the book (and for welcoming a potential skewering)! If you've got young ones at home, perhaps check out her newest bilingual children's book, Butter & Cinnamon/ Mantequilla y Canela: A Christmas Story/ Un Cuento de Navidad Musings and derailments in this episode include: Terrifying university degrees, Lu Elizondo & disclosure, and The Emerald: So You Want to Be a Sorcerer in the Age of Mythic Powers… (The AI Episode). Happy New Year, folks! May 2025 be full of great books and good times. For us, 2025 will mean a decade of terrible books and a new format for the show as previewed in our 200th Episode Twitch Livestream Extravaganza. In addition to our usual barnyard language, today's episode includes discussion or mention of aliens, guns, action-movie level violence, eugenics, and miscarriage.

Hail and well met, book friends! We're feeling pretty silly as we close in on the final episodes of Season 9. We travel back to 10th century Bohemia to learn the story behind the popular Christmas carol "Good King Wenceslas". Join us for a very biblically-styled tale that taught us some things but failed to get us invested in the characters. The author emailed us about his book and, usually when we get emails from authors or PR reps, it's not even worth consideration - but a medieval historical thriller? about a Christmas carol? In this century at this point in history? At this time of year? It only made sense to pop it onto the schedule for December.  Thanks to George himself for furnishing us with a free review copy of the book (and being willing to be featured on TBC with all that may entail)! Musings and derailments include: Duke Abe Simpsovclav of Springfieldia, heavy metal months, Breastfeeding education, Paris's Babadook terrors, and we struggle to poorly sing another song from the book (the titular carol)! In addition to our usual barnyard language, today's episode includes discussion or mention of parental abuse, sexual assault, and murder.

Chris found The Wife App by Carolyn Mackler out in the wild at a bookstore in NH when he was on a trip earlier this year. Considering apps themselves are often terrible, a book about an app seemed like a good candidate for the show. Musings and derailments include: Chris gets really upset about the recurring stereotype of shitty musician boyfriends/husbands and we wonder about several things in the text such as British chins, sending cookies in Ubers, the power of polka dots, and babies smelling like fresh bread. In addition to our usual barnyard language, today's episode includes discussion or mention of infidelity, closeting, and the horrors of capitalism in app form.

This week we're discussing our experience reading Verity by Colleen Hoover. We selected this for today's episode because it has appeared fairly often in reddit posts regarding bad books. Plus, we like to try to touch on current, popular authors when we can amidst the sea of deep weird terrible books we cover throughout the year. Off-topic musings and derailments include: Paris Uses Maps About It™, the truth of our Dark Lord Mr. Peanut, and we struggle to solve this GRE murder problem. In addition to our usual barnyard language, today's episode includes discussion or mention of ableism and disability prejudice, abortion, child abuse, child death, murder, parental neglect, and sex.

We've released this as an alternate episode if today's regular episode is a bit too much for you on this particular day. Please enjoy the audio from a Patron-only video special from 2021 where Paris and The Mothman (Antiques Freaks Ken) play a guessing game that Chris created. You can find the original video version here if you'd like to see us in all of our three-years-ago-physical-glory. We know you love the games we come up with sometimes here at TBC, so Chris has challenged Team MothParis to a game where they must choose which bands are real or from rock band romance novels and which musician names Chris made up. Musings and derailments include: We learn that Terriblo's 2nd in command is The Mothman, Paris realizes she's been lied to by the anti-cryptid media, we sail away on the Nick Crandle Ferry, and are reminded of the horrors of the English language.

*The US general election is TODAY! Get out there and vote in person if you haven't yet voted early or by mail. Head to vote.org for all the information you need to help you cast your ballot.* We've released an alternate episode for you if today's regular episode is a bit too much to listen to on this particular day. Please enjoy the Patron-only video special from 2021 where Paris and The Mothman (Antiques Freaks Ken) play a romance novel guessing game that Chris created. You can find the audio-only version in our regular feed in your podcast app. Musings and derailments in this episode include: jihadi dentists, Mt. Rushmore vs. the Grand Canyon, 100% Grade A Real Shadow Wolves, Shadow Dick Wolf, Degrees of Bubbas, how many men could a lawman law if a lawman could law men? Referenced in this episode: Steven Seagal - Wikipedia Behind the Bastards did 3 whole episodes on Steven Seagal, one of which is also a review of this book, so if you really want to get pumped full of more 90s action hero history, you can check those out: Part One: Steven Seagal Is So Much Worse Than You'd Ever Imagine Part Two: Steven Seagal Is So Much Worse Than You'd Ever Imagine Steven Seagal Wrote a Book (We Read It) Joe Arpaio - Wikipedia Tom Morrissey ICE Shadow Wolves Did 800 terrorists come over the Mexican border into the US in 2024? The Dark History Of The Texas Rangers (36 minute listen) In addition to our usual barnyard language, today's episode discusses or mentions: right-wing talking points (e.g. open borders/immigration, drug cartel violence, etc.), law enforcement worship, some magical native vibes, and a guest appearance from the R-slur.

This was recommended eons ago in the age of 2021 by Twitter user KirliaHookah who described this book as, “Hey what if we crossed Sabrina the Teenage Witch with Mean Girls poorly?" which turned out to be perfectly accurate. Musings and derailments in this episode include: Chris's DeathNote powers, George Michael Clooney, the Dance of Tables, the limits of school guidance counselors, Chris's criminal past, and we play a magic word guessing game. In addition to our barnyard langauge, today's episode includes discussion or mention of bullying.  

Happy Octoberween, dear listeners! In honor of the season, we bring you some spook-adjacent books for October's episodes. Today, our favorite guest Mary Parker is back with the sequel to The Phantom of the Opera musical - in book form! Although it was also turned into a musical, but remember this book is not the sequel to the original Phantom of the Opera book by Gaston Leroux...yeah. Musings and derailments in this episode include: the morning routine underneath the Opera Populaire, Paris transforms into Girl Boss Mammon, Mary becomes a Valley Girl Priest, and Chris plays God. In addition to our usual barnyard language, today's episode includes discussion or mention of ableism, accidents leading to physical disfigurement, guns, murder, and suicide.

Julius the Nice Dragon offered us a true Patron's Choice: Return to The Dunks or choose a new path. We still had plenty of iced coffees to trade, so we made the only choice we could as Bostonians.  We rarely recommend prerequisites for episodes, but we think you should check out our review of the first book in this series before listening to today's episode because a) it's a good episode and b) we'll address elements of the series in that episode that we skipped today: Episode 165 - First, Impressions (Book #1 of Last Intentions) by SJ Saunders Patron's Choice Musings and derailments in this episode include: Boston, the MBTA, Mass Metal Gear Solid, store brand names, and a brief glimpse into Fourth Wing horrors (this was recorded much earlier this year and was perhaps where Chris got his idea to surprise Paris on the 200th episode). *Local primaries and the general election are both coming up fast! Head to vote.org to check your voter registration, register to vote, preview your next ballot, or request a mail-in or absentee ballot.* Referenced in this episode: Weird Studies - Visions of the Wasteland: On George Miller's 'Mad Max' Films: On the post-apocalyptic sci-fi glory of the Mad Max franchise Folding Ideas - Contrepreneurs: The Mikkelsen Twins: Another fantastic Dan Olson piece on a book publishing MLM/pyramid scheme/scam In addition to our usual barnyard language, today's episode discusses body horror, action-movie violence, suicide, guns/weapons, and medical experimentation like cloning, mind control, and genetic alteration.

Chris read Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yaros on his own and retold the plot to Paris on this very special Twitch livestream to celebrate 200 episodes of Terrible Book Club. Afterwards, we bestow honors on the last 100 books over 11 categories in the 2nd edition of Terriblo's Choice Awards. Watch the video version of this episode for free on our Patreon! *The general election is coming up fast! Head to vote.org to check your voter registration, register to vote, preview your next ballot, or request a mail-in or absentee ballot.* (1:58:47) The 2nd Quadrennial Terriblo's Choice Awards - Episodes 101-199: Biggest Surprise: The Golden Basement Most Unholy Abomination: Splattering Yet Endearing Most Toxic Message: The 1776 Report The ExcavatingLizard My Immortal Award for Worst Editing/or Proofreading: Tied! Interview with the Devil (Part I - Victor's Account) Millenium University Most Likely to Become an Off-Broadway Musical: Drag Queen Dino Fighters Most Disappointing Character Arc: Things in Jars Mary Sue Award: The Man Without Qualities Pepe LePew Needless Romance Award: E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial in His Adventure on Earth  James Randi Award for Worst Non-Fiction General: Feeding the Dragon Health & Woo-Woo Wellness: Genesis Diet Best Romance: in a Drama: Valentine's Day For Baby Zeke in a Comedy: The Hog Worst Book from Ep. 101-199: Reaper's Creek by Onision In addition to our usual barnyard language, this episode includes references to sex, murder, violence, weapons, and poisoning.

We finally got around to checking out this 2023 BookTok phenomenon thanks to our Patron Austin, who described Legends & Lattes as, "a cozy and wholesome story about overcoming your past and settling down to...side with the mob threatening to burn down your establishment.” Despite the nerdy theme, the focus today is more on the cozy than the fantastical. Our poisoned expectations are completely subverted and we've rarely been so delighted. In addition to our usual barnyard language, we warn you that this discussion will make you think about how you could really go for one of those right now.  Musings and derailments in this episode include: Dunkin' Orcnuts, Squirrel alarms, language failures, Fren-talian gnomes, the extended Mr. Rat family, and our jubilance over not having to read pornography becomes mildly pornographic in our delirium. *Local primaries and the general election are both coming up fast! Head to vote.org to check your voter registration, register to vote, preview your next ballot, or request a mail-in or absentee ballot.*

This time, we read stuff NOT for TBC, listened to music, watched TV and movies, and played video games! After a failed guest episode, we had to fill the schedule so we decided to do another recap of the non-TBC books, music, and video games we've enjoyed so far this year like we did at the end of last year. If this is your first time listening to this show, maybe choose another episode because today we're talking about our personal media consumption so far in 2024, so you'll (mostly) hear about things we actually liked for once. Musings and derailments in this episode include: our love for the Hendrick's seasonal collection and the Polar Summer Seasonal 2024 flavor line-up; can sexy clowns enter into the Clown Registry? the best and only use for AI; heavy metal doctors; sneaking Andrew Tate into trad metal playlists on YouTube; and Skibidi Toilet Trees. *Local primaries and the general election are both coming up fast! Head to vote.org to check your voter registration, register to vote, preview your next ballot, or request a mail-in or absentee ballot.* Books (3:35): Piranesi by Susanna Clarke Grave Goods & A Murderous Procession from The Mistress of the Art of Death series by Ariana Franklin What My Bones Know by Samantha Foo Dungeon Crawler Carl series by Matt Dinneman Shadow and Claw by Gene Wolfe The Serpent's Tale by Ariana Franklin The Deep by Daveed Diggs, Rivers Solomon, and William Hutson Egg: A Dozen Ovatures by Lizzie Stark Things You May Find Hidden in My Ear by Mosab Abu Toha A Fool and His Money by Anne Wroe Drinking Coffee Elsewhere by ZZ Packer The Meursault Investigation by Kamel Daoud  Music (48:40): Heavy Music: Ulcerate - Cutting The Throat Of God Vitriol - Suffer And Become Aborted - Vault Of Horrors Wormed - Omegon Entheos - “All for Nothing” Gaerea Vulvodynia Wormhole Smothered Sun Pathogenic Cognitive Ice Giant Leylines Crypt Sermon - The Stygian Rose Savage Oath - Divine Battle Writhen Hilt - Ancient Sword Cult RHÛN - Conveyance in Death Hulder - Verses in Oath Houle - Ciel Cendre et Mis​è​re Noire Myth Carver - “Crimson Terrain” & “King of the Pyre” Triumpher - Storming the Walls Demon Chrome - Hung, Drawn, and Quartered The Watcher - Your Turn to Die Electronic, Pop, & Other: Emil Rottmayer oDDling  Hotel Pools A.L.I.S.O.N. Jim Kirkwood Maggie Rogers Sabrina Carpenter Obscurest Vinyl - “I Glued My Balls To My Butthole Again” & “You Look Like You Could Use a Fuckin' Lamp” Vivid Bloom - Out of Focus Glass Beams - Mahal Movies/TV (1:29:40): House of the Dragon, Delicious in Dungeon, Fallout, The Boys, Great Pottery Throwdown, The Acolyte, Fargo, Blue Eye Samurai, Dune Part Two, Mad Max: Furiosa, Late Night with the Devil Video Games (1:59:50): Final Fantasy VII Rebirth, Elden Ring: Shadow of the Erdtree DLC, Gobsmacked

A fateful tweet last summer by the author themselves brought this book into our terrible orbit. At first glance, it looked like a short read by someone with expertise in the field they were writing about, so we figured why not? We've never done a travel book on the show! Little did we know: our passports were about to be stamped for a journey on a AI-fueled train to capitalist hell. Today's episode includes our usual barnyard language and some references to colonialism and sex. Please Note: Chris accidentally mispronounced Cristiano Rinaldo's first name as Christian throughout the entire episode. Whoops!

This week we discuss Home Grown Worries by Alex Donahue. We reviewed Alex's other book, Leon & Chris, back in Episode 114 in 2022; he's hoping that this is an improvement on that one as this is its spiritual successor. In turn, this episode is our spiritual successor to Episode 114. Once again, Donahue's book has great art for kids and it seems like he actually took some of our advice from last time; gone are nearly all of the mechanical writing errors and tedium! While we didn't feel the core story was very captivating, we're impressed with Donahue's masochism. Never have we had an author ask us to review their work - and go through with it - twice. If anything, this is a sign that he has the fortitude to keep refining his work and succeed as an author. Musings and derailments in this episode include: the bounds of furry art, Castlevania, and singing the fake song in the book. In addition to our usual barnyard language, today's episode discusses violence and bullying between adolescents.

You may not think you know Mazes & Monsters by Rona Jaffe, but you certainly know its 1982 movie adaptation starring Tom Hanks in his first leading role (which you can watch along with us on our Patreon). We wondered if anyone would ever request this book and that day has finally come thanks to our patron Lucek. Thanks for all of your support, Lucek (and for being patient with us when we had to ask you for a second and third choice this year due to some unfortunately timed crossover in our patron requests)! Today's episode is all about D&D and LARPing, plus we wonder about what makes a sexy mouth, rules in 70s dorms, who exactly is named 'Hall', and why we need to know this much about everyone's parents. Despite some real truths and emotional realism in some respects, this story is far too steeped in Satanic Panic nonsense. It's also hard to forget that this book trafficked in sensationalism and profitted off of James Dallas Egbert, III's brief disappearance in 1979 and his eventual tragic death in 1980. Musings and derailments in this episode include: D&Tea and the potency of Many World's Tavern Chamomile, and our personal music and video game updates: Play Gobsmacked! Listen to Blood for the King and Divine Battle from Savage Oath's Divine Battle Listen to Down in the Hollow from Crypt Sermon's The Stygian Rose Remember that if you, too, would like to have us read and review a book of your choice on the show, you can gain that power by joining our Patreon at the appropriate tier.

Our patron Arrant has requested another non-fiction gem for their Patron's Choice episode this year. In How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big: Kind of the Story of My Life, Dilbert-creator Scott Adams weaves together the strands of memoir and self-help and fills any extra space in this book basket with glue made of lies (seriously, he opens the book by telling you not to trust him) and a stunning lack of self-awareness. As always, capitalism is the ever-present ghoul, Paris is pissed at Jesus (moreso than usual), and together we learn that the real way to fail at everything is, perhaps, by going on unabashed racist tirades and doubling down rather than engaging in any self-reflection. We hope you enjoy the episode, Arrant, and thank you for your longtime, faithful support of the show! Remember that if you, too, would like to have us read and review a book of your choice on the show, you can gain that power by joining our Patreon at the appropriate tier.

Our patron Of The Void (The Taco Eating Unicorn of the Hot Springs) requested yet another Yahtzee Croshaw book in the hopes that we would enjoy it more than Jam, their Patron's Choice from last year. In that sense, this episode is a spiritual successor to Episode 177 where we return to Yahtzeeworld, but feel like we landed on a different continent this time. We're steeped in video game/MMORPG and fantasy tropes today, Chris is ashamed of his newfound addiction to Dungeon Crawler Carl, and Paris is alarmed that she is perhaps too good at voicing a sleazy character.  We hope you enjoy the episode, Mr. Taco Eating Unicorn of the Void and the Hot Springs, and thank you so much for your unrelenting support of the show! Remember that if you, too, would like to have us read and review a book of your choice on the show, you can gain that power by joining our Patreon at the appropriate tier. Good book alert: This is your semi-annual reminder that if you haven't read the Mistress of the Art of Death book quintet by Arianna Franklin, get to it! We've mentioned the series many times but have both finally dived back in to finish out the other 4 books recently and can't help but remind ya'll to give it a try.

It's time for the ultimate 1990s crossover - X-Men and Star Trek, united at last! We discuss our experience reading 1998's Planet X by Michael Jan Friedman, as per the request of our Patron Fred. For once, we actually want more romance between two characters and just want there to be some stakes in a story, but I guess that's hard when you're working with popular intellectual property. Paris & Chris swap personalities, we remember Orbitz, and Paris Does Math About It™. We hope you enjoy the episode, Fred, and thank you so much for supporting the show! Remember that if you, too, would like to have us read and review a book of your choice on the show, you can gain that power by joining our Patreon at the appropriate tier.

Our Patron Robin requested that we read and discuss VenCo for today's episode. Although they did not request the Antiques Freaks to be here, we felt we needed their support (and knowledge of antique spoons). Thanks so much for your longtime patronage, Robin, and we hope you enjoy our unhinged review with surprise guests! Remember that if you, too, would like to have us read and review a book of your choice on the show, you can gain that power by joining our Patreon at the appropriate tier. Although this one wasn't to our taste, we encourage you to check out other books and stories by Cherie Dimaline (https://www.cheriedimaline.com/books) and to support indigenous and marginalized authors and creators generally! 

Our Patron BeastwiththeLeast requested that we read Rena Vale's Taurus Four from 1970. How could such a dusty, seemingly insignificant sci-fi paperback have roused so much ire? Get your spacesuits on for a journey through misogyny, weed fear-mongering, and communist hysteria on planets near and far! Thanks so much for your support, BeastwiththeLeast, and we hope you enjoy the episode. Remember that if you, too, would like to have us read and review a book of your choice on the show, you can gain that power by joining our Patreon at the appropriate tier. References: Thanks be to the gods of academia (and Mr. Deutsch) for preserving this thesis for us to use for background on the show today: Against the red tide: Rena M. Vale and the long red scare in California by Christopher Robert Deutsch

Today's episode features a book that many folks have asked us to read, but it took our brave Patron Miles to finally force us to do it. At last, we've read the famous satirical Obama/Biden crime thriller from 2018 and, honestly, it could've been a lot worse. Thanks so much for your support, Miles, and we hope you like the episode! Remember that if you, too, would like to have us read and review a book of your choice on the show, you can gain that power by joining our Patreon at the appropriate tier.  

Today's episode is Part 2 of our childhood nostalgia retrospective! We each chose a book for each other from a series we loved as kids. Paris remembered reading several books in the Dear America series, so Chris chose Down the Rabbit Hole - The Diary of Pringle Rose for our second nostalgia adventure. We actually found ourselves really enjoying this one, so this week's episode is a completely different experience from last week with The Hardy Boys.    

Today's episode is Part 1 of our childhood nostalgia retrospective! We each chose a book for each other from a series we loved as kids. Chris remembered reading all of The Hardy Boys series, so Paris chose The Witchmaster's Key for our first return trip to childhood. Prepare yourselves for 1970s Satanic Panic absurdity in the UK, complete with evil dentists, rubber masks, the reddest of herrings, and a scene straight out of Misery! Join us next week for Part 2 where we discuss our experience reading something from Paris's beloved childhood book series, Dear America.

We read Butch for today's episode at the request of listener Os who emailed us last year saying,"A while ago, I read a book that, while incredibly badly written, still somehow left me feeling for the protagonist, because all the other characters are (in every sense of the word) ridiculously homophobic. It's called "Butch" by Jay Rayn. It's a "life story thus far" type of book about a butch woman who constantly ights discrimination in the most cartoonish ways possible and romances just about every woman she meets. I'm 99% sure this is just a veiled attempt at rewriting her own biography by the author. Maybe this can be a fresh bad taste for your reading palate. Best, Os (a listener who bought that book thinking it was actually a big deal for butch culture, only to realize they had been tricked by the self-publishing author).” References & Thanks: "G.I. Joes in Barbie Land": Recontextualizing Butch in Twentieth-Century Lesbian Culture by Sherrie A. Inness & Michele Lloyd https://www.ncsby.org/content/normative-sexual-behavior Thanks to Tris for consulting on this episode and helping us navigate Butch identity In addition to our usual barnyard language, today's episode includes discussion or mention of: homophobia, racism, and sexual assault.

This time, we read How it Unfolds (Far Reaches Book 1) by James S.A. Corey, published by Amazon Original Stories in 2023. Chris really enjoyed The Expanse by Corey, so he was looking through other works by them and found this short story. Unfortunately, though, it had a description that made him think it was more suitable for TBC than for his personal reading adventures. Today's episode includes our usual barnyard language along with some discussions of sex and relationship dynamics.

Paris & Chris dive back into children's literature and find that Dr. Block may have written some of the healthiest relationship dynamics in all of the books we've reviewed so far for the show.

We had so much to say about Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West by Gregory Maguire that we needed two episodes and an extra person to do it! If you haven't listened to Part One, we recommend going back and listening to last week's episode before listening to this one. This was recommended to us by The Good Witch of the Northeast, who made time to float in on a bubble to be our special guest for this two-part episode. In addition to our usual barnyard language, today's episode includes discussion or mention of: ableism, pregnancy, parental abuse, racism, sex, & sexual assault.

We had so much to say about Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West by Gregory Maguire that we needed two episodes and an extra person to do it! We'll finish up our discussion in Part Two which will be out next Tuesday. This was recommended to us by The Good Witch of the Northeast, who made time to float in on a bubble to be our special guest for this two-part episode. In addition to our usual barnyard language, today's episode includes discussion or mention of: ableism, pregnancy, parental abuse, racism, sex, & sexual assault.

We've got another Amazon Double Feature for you! Today, we tackle two more pieces of book-like debris that Chris found in the bowels of an Amazon search, the criteria of which has been lost to time: Rathew Love Story: A Love Story by Argus G. Curiosity: A Book for Curious Minds by Bookinsky* (yes, the asterisk is in the author name) Paris goes on a methodology queen adventure as she and Chris discuss whether both of these authors are actually just AI. They also ponder if Paris will live through Season 9 due to the condition of her New England apartment. Over the last several seasons, we've structured our discussions into Things That Were Good and Things That Were Bad. For the first part of Season 9, we're trying out a rubric Chris created where we rate a book on each of the following categories on a 3-point scale of -1, 0 , or 1: Technical Construction (Typos, Formatting/Layout, Punctuation, etc.) Plot Construction & Content (Coherence, Rule Following, Character Quality) Moment-to-Moment (Quality of Prose & Dialogue, Overall Flow) Terriblo's Presence (Chaos Levels, Huh!? Factor, Please Help) Should This Exist? (Did the author meet their goal? Does it add anything new, interesting, or novel? etc.)

Ring in the new year with the Terrible Antique Book Freaks! The Antiques Freaks join us today to do a live read of The Getting Even of Tommy Dodd by William Hope Hodgson, a cross-dressing revenge fantasy on the high seas. We know it's not a Carnacki, and we know it's not even scary, but it's the best we can do having read all the 'nacks already. As usual, we're using Eye of Argon rules to read this and we encourage you to get out your Carnacki bingo cards and help us re-tool them for more generalized Hodgson tomfoolery. In addition to our usual barnyard language, this episode includes or makes reference to: sexual humor (including foot stuff) and some bad Victorian ideas and opinions, including pedophilia.

It's winter holiday time again, so you all get a little gift from TBC! Please enjoy this special edition of Less Terrible Book Club. People often wonder what else we're reading in a given year so we figured it was worth a brief discussion and rating of our Non-TBC reads from 2023. We wish you a lovely winter and/or holiday time if that's what you get up to at this time of year! See you soon for Season 9. Hail Terriblo. Chris's 2023 Non-TBC Reading List: The Music Lesson by Victor Wooten The Scar by China Miéville The Dark Profit Saga by J. Zachary Pike Jade City by Fonda Lee Kings of the Wyld by Nicholas Eames Rage of Dragons by Evan Winter The Frugal Wizard's Handbook for Surviving Medieval England by Brandon Sanderson Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin   Paris's 2023 Non-TBC Reading List: This is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone Perdido Street Station by China Miéville Jagannath by Karen Tidbeck Walking on Cowrie Shells by Nana Nkweti The Buddha in the Attic by Julie Otsuka The Secret Language of Flowers by Jean-Michel Othoniel Convenience Store Woman by Sayaka Murata Heavy by Kiese Laymon They Were Here Before Us: A Novella in Pieces by Eric LaRocca Babel or the Necessity of Violence by R.F. Kuang To Wallow in Ash & Other Sorrows by Sam Richard The Witch's Garden by Sandra Lawrence Lockdown Laureate by O.F. Cieri Feed Them Silence by Lee Mandelo   In addition to our usual barnyard language, this episode includes very brief mentions of: beastiality, death/murder/violence, ED/weight, and homophobia.

Ken of Antiques Freaks suggested that we read this and the time is nigh. Come along with us to Atlantis and Lemuria while we try to figure out why all of sentient life in the cosmos is organized like your local Target. The return of LMJ. Additionally, we are baffled as to why authors never seem to be able to cite a quote from a famous person that's actually real. In addition to our usual barnyard language, today's episode contains: aliens, a touch of racism/eugenics, and dangerously high levels of woo-woo and conspiracy.

For today's episode, we read The Energy Conspiracy by David C Seman, vanity published in 1981. This was requested by our patron beastwiththeleast, who had this to say: "Here's to another year of Terriblo's blessings and curses. I hereby submit my patron book request for you guys to read at some point next year...I haven't read the book in full, but I skim-read a few of the extremely short chapters. It looks like the sort of thing Ted Cruz would badger his wife into reading to him as a bedtime story. Please enjoy (tolerate? choke down?) this word salad tossed with right-wing dystopian elements, baffling typos, half a pound of cheese wrapped in aluminum foil, and dry-ass dialogue in place of croutons. BYOB." Thanks for the recommendation, beastwiththeleast. We applaud your efforts in finding us an out-of-print book and digitally rendering it for ease of reading - truly a gentleman and a scholar! In addition to our usual barnyard language, today's episode includes discussion or mention of: THE GUB'MINT in the vein of authoritarianism and some conservative and libertarian viewpoints around energy.

We read Jam by Yahtzee Croshaw this week at the request of our Patron Of the Void (The Taco-Eating Unicorn). We bring you a gray goo apocalypse dyed red atop a bland satire about how lame both terminally online and terminally corporate people are. The Taco-Eating Unicorn from the Void would like to dedicate today's episode to his sister, Jade B., for being amazing through everything he's gone through recently, despite being in a different state. Yay Jade! Today's show includes out usual barnyard language plus discussion or mention of: violence, both jam and human in flavor, and a brief discussion of a shitty slur.

Beginnings: A Christian Fantasy Short Story Collection by M.H. Elrich was self-published earlier this year. Chris found it while on an Amazon Short Reads dive and we figured a Christian fantasy collection was worth a review since we haven't read anything from this genre for the show before. Each of the 5 stories features a human-animal friendship with elements of magic and seem to be geared towards young readers or parents reading to young children.  Today's episode just includes our usual barnyard language with some brief discussions of Christianity.

This time we read The Golden Basement by David Norman Lewis, self-published in March of 2023. This was recommended by long-time listener, first-time caller Max who sent us a wonderful email recommending that we read this saying, "A few months ago you might have noticed a poem titled "$Reward$If$Found$" stapled up all over Cambridge, there were a couple reddit threads about it. On going back to my hometown of Seattle, WA I found out the poem is from a local self-published book...The author has been stapling the same poem everywhere. The novel is a "kids' book" about underground monsters controlling people's thoughts during the 1990 Goodwill Games...There's a YouTube video where the author is trying to sell it with donuts. You have to check it out. I so want to hear your takes on it…I emailed the author and he told me the baker is a friend of his. They once worked together on trying to make a new religion for Seattle but nobody showed up." Thank you so very much, Max, for your longtime support and for recommending this book. It was very different from anything we've read before and we actually didn't hate it! Today's show includes our usual barnyard language plus discussion or mention of: emotional abuse, enslavement, murder, parental neglect and abuse, sexual assault, and suicide. Random Band/Album Reference from this Episode: Swan Christy - One with the Swan

Get your flannels, ciders, and s'mores ready for this week's discussion of Campfire Stories of Western Canada by Barbara Smith! Paris's friend Kristina recommended this for the show 6 years ago and we finally found a nice spot for it on the schedule. Thanks for sending us on this silly autumnal adventure, Kristina! Today's show includes our usual barnyard language plus cartoon-level “spooky” stuff like a beheaded ghost, sasquatch, and spectral french fries.

One Hundred Proofs that the Earth is Not a Globe was written and self-published by William Boyd Carpenter in 1885. However, Chris found this on a homeschooler's Twitter page where it was recommended for teaching children in 2023, so we figured it was worth a review. Folding Ideas: In Search of a Flat Earth Science of Our Spherical Earth: Neil deGrasse Tyson Demonstrates Absurdity of Flat Earth Dave Explains: The Earth is Definitely Not Flat Dave Explains: The 10 Things That All Flat Earthers Say Wikipedia: Empirical Evidence for the Spherical Shape of Earth  

The 9th Colony by Colin Curtis was vanity published through AuthorHouse UK in February of 2023. We received an email from a podcast PR rep asking us to have the author on the show as a guest. We don't have authors on the show, but we get a lot of these emails because some PR companies just send blanket form emails without actually having any idea what the podcasts or other entities they're contacting actually do. Normally we just skim and delete, but this one caught our eye because it suggested that Mr. Curtis had expertise in the science of human evolution and space exploration and would talk about "the evolution debate". Considering the book was only 128 pages, it seemed worth a read and review for us this year. Disclaimer: Most of this year's episodes were pre-recorded many months in advance. Please keep in mind that when we recorded this review in early 2023, the UAP/UFO hearings in congress that took place in July obviously hadn't happened yet. If you haven't yet watched or read the transcripts of those hearings, it's worth your time: UAP Hearing Wrap Up In addition to our usual barnyard language, today's episode includes discussion or mention of: aliens, alien abduction, cartoon-level violence, conspiracy theories, and UAPs/UFOs. U.S. Government Alien/UFO Investigations Office of the Director of National Intelligence's Preliminary Assessment of Unidentified Aerial Phenomena National Archives: Project Blue Book Kurzgesagt's Short-Form Videos about Alien Possibilities:  The Fermi Paradox — Where Are All The Aliens? (1/2) The Fermi Paradox II — Solutions and Ideas – Where Are All The Aliens? (2/2) Why Alien Life Would be our Doom - The Great Filter Aliens under the Ice – Life on Rogue Planets What Do Alien Civilizations Look Like? The Kardashev Scale Citations Needed: The Very Real Social Brain Rot of Ancient Aliens and Ancient Apocalypse  

If you're interested in our take on a WWII popcorn spy thriller, it's here! It's hard for us to say no to reviewing a book when you mail it to us. We got a copy of His Majesty's Hope through the magnificence of the US postal system from our Patron EasternSwiss. They asked us to read it for their Patron's Choice episode this year, telling us that this book is about, "a British tutor [who] becomes a spy to fight Nazis, but neglects her duties, gets her partner killed over dumb shit, and never listens to smart people...her half sister in Germany is...clueless about Nazis despite her mother being a top official with the party! Like how can you know nothing about what's happening!? It's implied Goebbels sometimes visits her house, like c'mon - you know some shit.” In addition to our usual barnyard language, today's episode includes discussion or mention of: Nazis and their whole deal during WWII, but specifically child murder, eugenics, prison camps, and mild violence.

We've got another reddit find for you this week! Paris found this when perusing the latest "What's the worst book you've ever read?" post that surfaces a few times each year in various literary subreddits. In one response, redditor u/lydiardbell explained that Interview with the Devil (Part 1 - Victor's Account) was indeed the worst book they've ever read. What made it really memorable was that the author threatened to burn their house down for the review they wrote for the book. In addition to our usual barnyard language, this episode includes mention or discussion of: cannibalism, violent abuse, r*pe/sexual assault, su*cide, and torture.

This week, we discuss our experience reading Golden (The Golden Wolf Series Book 1) by Shannon Mayer at the request of our Patron Robin. Robin said, “It looks truly abysmal. I can't wait to hear your summary.” Golden is a shifter romance where a wolf is cursed to be a golden retriever and gets wrapped up in the events of Ragnarök (the end of the Norse cycle of renewal) and everything's got a little nü-metal flavor. Paris goes full red-strings-on-corkboard to try to figure out how the elements of the plot could possibly make sense. In addition to our usual barnyard language, today's episode includes discussion or mention of r*pe fantasies and physical violence.