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This episode of The Peaceful Parenting Podcast is a conversation with Alfie Kohn, the author of 14 books including Unconditional Parenting and The Myth of the Spoiled Child. The work of Alfie Kohn has been one of the biggest influences on how I parent and why I have dedicated my career to being a Peaceful Parenting Coach. We discuss why people have always thought parents are too permissive, the nuance involved in “working with” our kids, and why we need to raise reflective rebels who question what they are told. We talk about: 7:00 Why people think we are “too soft” and permissive with kids 12:00 How black and white thinking gets in the way of peaceful parenting 15:37 “Working with” parenting vs. intensive or helicopter parenting 22:00 Why some kids need more parental support 24:00 Why we need to be realistic and raise “reflective rebels” Download the episode transcript HERE Resources mentioned in this episode: The Myth of the Spoiled Child Unconditional Parenting Connect with Sarah Rosensweet: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sarahrosensweet/ Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/peacefulparentingfreegroup YouTube: Peaceful Parenting with Sarah Rosensweet @peacefulparentingwithsarah4194 Website: https://reimaginepeacefulparenting.com Join us on Patreon: www.patreon.com/peacefulparenting Newsletter: https://reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/newsletter Book a short consult or coaching session call: https://book-with-sarah-rosensweet.as.me/schedule.php
In this thought-provoking episode, Kyle and Sara Wester sit down with renowned author and speaker Alfie Kohn—a powerful voice challenging traditional ideas about parenting, discipline, education, and motivation. Alfie doesn't hold back as he dives into the unintended consequences of using rewards, punishments, and even praise with children. His insights, grounded in decades of research, have radically reshaped how countless parents and educators approach behavior and discipline. This conversation is equal parts challenging and inspiring—and yes, it even moved Sara to tears. Why? Because Alfie doesn't just critique outdated approaches—he paints a compelling picture of what's possible when we parent with unconditional love, curiosity, and trust. In this episode, Kyle and Sara explore:Why rewards and punishment may undermine intrinsic motivationHow praise can backfire—and what to do insteadWhat it looks like to support children's autonomy and growthHow schools and families can foster genuine cooperation, not compliance Listeners will walk away with not only a deeper understanding of why traditional discipline falls short, but how to do things differently—and more effectively.About Our Guest:Alfie Kohn is the author of 14 influential books, including Punished by Rewards, Unconditional Parenting, The Myth of the Spoiled Child, and The Schools Our Children Deserve. He's been featured on Oprah, The Today Show, and numerous other national platforms. His work has helped parents and educators across the globe rethink what it truly means to raise and teach children with respect and connection.Learn more at
Hello everyone! Today, I am releasing what I believe is the most important podcast in the history of the show. Not only is it filled with honest and real world talk, it is filled with research based advice and insight from one of the premier thinkers on education today. In this episode, I sit down with Alfie Kohn and discuss a range of topics, such as why grading hurts more than it helps, why rewards do more harm than good, and why the testing obsession leads to bad teaching. I consider these the three pillars of what holds up an outdated educational model, and Alfie Kohn is the main reason for that perspective. Without a doubt, Alfie has influenced my teaching in such fundamental ways, and I know his thinking, research, and expertise will encourage you to question some of the norms of our educational climate. Alfie Kohn writes and speaks widely on human behavior, education, and parenting. The most recent of his 14 books are SCHOOLING BEYOND MEASURE…And Other Unorthodox Essays About Education (2015) and THE MYTH OF THE SPOILED CHILD: Challenging the Conventional Wisdom About Children and Parenting (2014). Of his earlier titles, the best known are PUNISHED BY REWARDS (1993), NO CONTEST: The Case Against Competition (1986), UNCONDITIONAL PARENTING (2005), and THE SCHOOLS OUR CHILDREN DESERVE (1999).
Ok - big moment you guys. I'm excited (and somewhat embarrassed!) to share this special conversation with you—one that originally aired back in 2022 in my Facebook community Let's Raise Emotionally Intelligent Kids.Looking back, I can't help but cringe! I was SO nervous and excited to be speaking with the universal expert on parenting, education, and human behaviour: Alfie Kohn.Let's just say I wasn't as polished or professional as I am now… but the insights and wisdom? They're just as powerful today as they were then.Alfie Kohn, renowned author of Punished by Rewards, No Contest, The Homework Myth, and my personal favourite, Unconditional Parenting, (plus many others!) brings his groundbreaking research and passion for progressive education to this chat.In this episode, we dive into:
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Alfie Kohn's book Unconditional Parenting has been a paradigm-shifting read. It has completely reorientated my relationship with my inner child and the way I pursue my self-development work. It has helped reshape the landscape of my partnership and has become a core topic of conversation and exploration as we near our own parenting chapter. In this episode, we get into all things parenting and how to navigate the waters of caregiving without relying on the manipulative tactics of punishment and reward. If you enjoyed the episode, please leave it a review! And check out https://www.alfiekohn.org/ to learn more about his work, tools, and resources.
Chapter 1 What's Unconditional Parenting Book by Alfie Kohn"Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason" is a book written by Alfie Kohn. In this book, Kohn challenges traditional parenting practices that rely on rewards and punishments as methods of control. Instead, he advocates for a parenting style that is based on unconditional love and respect for the child's autonomy and intrinsic motivation. Kohn encourages parents to focus on fostering their child's growth, emotional well-being, and independent thinking rather than manipulating their behavior through external rewards or punishments.Chapter 2 Is Unconditional Parenting Book A Good BookOpinions on books, like "Unconditional Parenting" by Alfie Kohn, can vary greatly. Some people find it to be an insightful and valuable resource that challenges traditional parenting techniques, while others may disagree with Kohn's ideas or think the book lacks practical advice. It ultimately depends on your personal parenting style, beliefs, and what you are looking to gain from the book. It's always a good idea to read reviews, research the author, and perhaps even read a sample chapter or synopsis before deciding if it's a good fit for you.Chapter 3 Unconditional Parenting Book by Alfie Kohn Summary"Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason" is a parenting book written by Alfie Kohn. In this book, Kohn challenges traditional techniques of disciplining children through rewards and punishments and presents an alternative approach based on love, empathy, and reasoning.Kohn argues that conditional parenting, which relies on offering rewards for good behavior and punishments for bad behavior, is not only ineffective but also harms children's development and motivation. He believes that the use of rewards creates external motivation, where children behave well only to receive something in return, and punishments can lead to a fear-based compliance rather than internalizing values.According to Kohn, unconditional parenting focuses on meeting children's needs, respecting their autonomy, and fostering positive relationships. He encourages parents to move away from using praise and rewards, which can erode intrinsic motivation, and adopt a more empathetic approach, where they listen to their children's opinions and feelings.The book covers several key topics, including the meaning and impact of conditional parenting, the use of praise and rewards, the problems with punishment, and the importance of trust and communication in parent-child relationships. Kohn also provides practical strategies and examples for implementing unconditional parenting principles in everyday situations.The main idea of "Unconditional Parenting" is to view children as individuals with valid needs and emotions, rather than objects to be controlled or manipulated. It promotes a collaborative and respectful parenting style that aims to nurture children's intrinsic motivation, empathy, and problem-solving skills.Overall, "Unconditional Parenting" challenges conventional parenting methods and offers a thought-provoking perspective on how to raise emotionally healthy and independent children by focusing on love, understanding, and trust. Chapter 4 Unconditional Parenting Book AuthorAlfie Kohn is an American author and lecturer known for his work in the field of education, parenting, and human behavior. He was born on October 15, 1957, in Miami Beach, Florida.Kohn released the book "Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love...
Powered by Eaton Financial Group: where their motto is to live well, work hard and give generously. Under the leadership of Doug Eaton - the firm specializes in assisting women who handle household financial planning, by acting in a fiduciary capacity – meaning your best interests are their first priority. For a relaxed and no obligation cup of coffee and second opinion – live or virtually – visit eatonfinancialgroup.com to set an appointment. In this week's insightful episode, we dive headfirst into the world of peaceful parenting alongside Jessica Hausknecht, the founder of the Find My ZenFam movement. Together, we deunk the common misconceptions surrounding peaceful parenting, revealing the true essence of this transformative approach to parenting. Our discussion delves deep into the methods and science behind peaceful parenting, shedding light on why it proves to be so effective in fostering healthier family dynamics. Throughout the episode, Jessica provides invaluable advice on helping children decipher their emotions, especially during BIG emotions and unwanted tantrums. When those moments of desperation strike, she offers practical strategies for implementing peaceful parenting even in the most challenging situations. We explore the intriguing realm of attachment science and its alignment with peaceful parenting principles, understanding how it can enrich the parent-child relationship. Jessica also guides listeners on how they can work directly with her to gain personalized support on their peaceful parenting journey. Lastly, we address a common hurdle faced by many parents: handling unsupportive family and friends who may question this unconventional parenting style. Our conversation provides insights on navigating these conversations while remaining steadfast in your commitment to peaceful parenting. We talk about: [0:00] Intro [1:45] Her favorite parenting book to recommend. [4:30] The misconceptions around peaceful parenting. [7:30] How and why peaceful parenting works [10:20] Helping our children decipher their emotions. [13:55] How to implement these strategies when you're at your wits end. [18:30] Studying attachment science. [22:05] How you can work with her - the services shes provides families. [24:20] Handling unsupportive family or friends when it comes to this parenting style - setting healthy boundaries and becoming more confident. Resources mentioned in this episode: Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn The Power of Showing Up by Dr. Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson Connect with Jessica Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ZenFam.co TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@zenfam_parent_coaching Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/zenfam_parent_coaching_yoga/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9aDnfIRiewkJxR52LvHKfQ https://www.findmyzenfam.com/ Connect with Nicole Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.motherhood.village1/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/The.Motherhood.Village1 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicolegcumberbatch/ https://www.themotherhoodvillage.com/
What are 4 main parenting styles? What is your parenting style? Are you helping or hurting your child? Welcome to another episode of The Jews Next Dor! This episode kicks off our series about parenting styles, the next topic of our parenting hierarchy, which we took a long break from due to the various Chagim and back to school. We are so glad to welcome Blimie Heller again and have another incredible and eye-opening episode on parenting, this time, on different parenting styles. Blimie Heller is famously known for creating amazing content on her Instagram page called Unconditional Parenting. She is a mom and a parenting coach passionate about helping parents build better relationships with their children based on respect and trust, and speaks about how she came to develop her parenting style. 00:00 Intro 00:52 What are the different parenting styles? 06:14 Can parents be friends with their children? 11:57 What influences our parenting styles? 14:42 The influence of the attachment theory 17:07 Pros and cons of different parenting styles 21:26 Identifying your parenting style 28:05 Should parents have the same parenting style? 35:46 How to change your parenting style? 44:28 What is a sign that something needs to be changed? 46:55 Finding the best parenting style for your child 49:50 Discovering the need of a child that isn't met 54:25 Does parenting styles shift at some point? 56:56 The final message --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/yair-menchel/message
To praise, or not to praise? That is the question! Is praise actually decreasing your child's intrinsic motivation, and encouraging comparison and competition? Learn the science of how to praise a child - and why you really shouldn't! (Replay) Topics included in this episode - The way we give feedback to our children matters Why do people use praise? 'Podcast Episode #150 "Unconditional Parenting, with Alfie Kohn" What is the right way to praise a child? Why we should end the praise craze - a Happy Families webinar The Most Important Words We Can Say To Our Children - a Happy Families article Asking questions How to help our kids listen to - and express - their inner voice The paradoxical effects of praise & criticism on perceived ability' - Meyer "That's Not Just Beautiful-That's Incredibly Beautiful!" - Brummelman 'The effects of praise on children's intrinsic motivation' - Henderlong & Lepper Find us on Facebook at Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families Email us your questions and comments at podcasts@happyfamilies.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Description: A peak into my life this summer with two kids under eight years old, at home. Hear about the daily mysteries, joys, and growth edges. Mothering is schooling me into deeper awakening. Resources Mentioned in the Episode: Book - Unconditional Parenting Related Podcast Episodes: Breastfeeding Q & A Everything you need to know about co-sleeping Starting Solids Connect with Erika Wirth: Website Instagram Please Note the Following Disclaimer! By listening to this podcast, you understand that the topics discussed are intended, solely, for informational purposes. The information provided is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment and should not be relied on as such. In listening to the podcast, you also agree that Wirth Wellness is not responsible for any outcomes or decisions you make, relating to any information presented on the show. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/crunchymomclub/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/crunchymomclub/support
Alfie Kohn writes and speaks widely on human behavior, education, and parenting. The most recent of his 14 books are SCHOOLING BEYOND MEASURE…And Other Unorthodox Essays About Education (2015) and THE MYTH OF THE SPOILED CHILD: Challenging the Conventional Wisdom About Children and Parenting (2014). Of his earlier titles, the best known are PUNISHED BY REWARDS (1993), NO CONTEST: The Case Against Competition (1986), UNCONDITIONAL PARENTING (2005), and THE SCHOOLS OUR CHILDREN DESERVE (1999). In this episode Mr. Kohn talks about the theory and research as discussed in his book, Punished by Rewards. To Contact Alfie Kohn visit: www.alfiekohn.org
I chat to Blimie Heller, parenting coach and educator at Unconditional Parenting, about the ways we often frame gentle parenting, ideas of trust and partnership, our never-ending journey as parents and boundaries (and why the way we manage them is unhelpful in many ways!). You can find Blimie on instagram @unconditional_parenting. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/consentbasedeverything/message
Smiling, happy siblings are the picture we see often when presented with family snapshots on social media and in holiday cards, but are siblings who get along really imperative to a functioning family? If your kids don't like each other, is there anything you can do about that? Blimie Heller returns to Look Ma' No Hands to give her perspective.
Charlotte Mason advised that we shouldn't use external motivators to make children learn. She said “[grades], prizes, places, rewards, punishments, praise, blame, or other inducements are not necessary to secure attention, which is voluntary, immediate and surprisingly perfect” without them. ( A Philosophy of Education, p. 7.) But is this true today? Are rewards really that bad? How will our kids behave and learn if we don't give them a little incentive to motivate them? And what can we do instead? To help answer these questions I've asked Alfie Kohn to chat with me today. Alfie Kohn is the author of fourteen books on education, parenting, and human behavior, including PUNISHED BY REWARDS (1993/2018), THE SCHOOLS OUR CHILDREN DESERVE (1999), UNCONDITIONAL PARENTING (2005), THE HOMEWORK MYTH (2006), and THE MYTH OF THE SPOILED CHILD (2014). He has written for most of the leading education periodicals and has appeared twice on “Oprah.” Time magazine described him as “perhaps the country's most outspoken critic of education's fixation on grades and test scores.” A strong supporter of public schooling, Kohn works with educators and parents, speaking regularly at national conferences. He lives (actually) in the Boston area and (virtually) at www.alfiekohn.org. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/jessica9025/support
Blimie Heller is all about trust, respect, and a deep connection....and there is a reason Blimie is such a sought after parenting coach: She is genuine and honest in her own struggles too!Blimie has answers to your many questions, including questions about how to unlearn parenting techniques that simply don't work. Blimie dispels many myths that you may have been carrying around with you vis a vis your parenting, and guides you to a place of parenting that really allows you to connect with your child, no matter the scary or big emotions being expressed. To check out Blimie and her incredible work, please visit Blimieheller.comTo order our Pesach digest, which is going to be hitting the shelves and the post office any day now, please go to Bodiessouls.com/ytdigestSupport the showTo order a Pesach/Spring digest, please visit Bodiesoulsytdigest.com
Blimie Heller is a Parenting Coach, lecturer and founder of Unconditional Parenting. Blimie can be reached via her website: https://www.blimieheller.com **SPONSORS** The WhatsApp status that's there for your mental health
hen do we stop labeling things as good and bad? Should we stop rewarding them in order for them to do something? Please feel free to share any thoughts about this episode. To hear more and learn more about today's topic: Join Redefine Parenting: Give Your Kids A Childhood They Won't Need To Heal From
What is unconditional parenting? How do you become an unconditional parent? Parenting unconditionally does not begin with your children or their actions. Unconditional parenting begins with you making a conscious decision about how you want to interact with your children. It all starts with you deciding to show your children unconditional love and support no matter what they do or say. Listen to this episode with my guest, Carolina Behr Carolina is an early childhood wizard. She is a certified Montessori directress and an early childhood development expert. She combines 23 years of experience with rigorous academic research. She utilizes her expertise and acute observation skills to develop strategies that have proven successful through a large sample of family styles, cultural backgrounds, and early childhood experiences. Please be aware you are witnessing a live-recorded conversation exploring opinions that do not necessarily represent you, global views, and/or scientific approaches. These are just conversations of opinions through personal experiences, challenges, and studies. Please take what resonates with you, and leave what doesn't. Feel free to share your own opinion, as you might have your own journey and knowledge that will help someone on their personal path. Give Your Kids a Childhood They Won't Need To Heal From Follow me on social media Instagram ▶ https://www.instagram.com/veenuinspir... Facebook ▶ https://www.facebook.com/veenuinspires TikTok ▶ https://www.tiktok.com/@veenuinspires...
Blimie Heller is a sought-after parenting coach, educator, and expert and the creator of the Unconditional Parenting social media platform which helps parents build relationships with their children. After facing her own parenting struggles, Blimie delved into all the research on child development, into the science of attachment, into neuroscience and more and has used all of that inspiration to inspire thousands to become better parents. --- It is with great pleasure that we announce the launch of Rabbi Shlomo Buxbaum's second book, "The Four Elements of Inner Freedom: The Exodus Story as a Model for Overcoming Challenges and Achieving Personal Breakthroughs". The book will be our this March! You can pre-order a copy here: https://levx.org/event/the-four-elements-of-freedom --- This episode of the Empowered Jewish Living podcast is powered by OKclarity.com. OKclarity.com is THE place for any Jew - no matter how frum or religious you are - to find a top notch therapist, coach, or nutritionist. And its completely free! OKCLARITY.com's therapists, coaches, and nutritionists are vetted and have extensive experience working with the Jewish community. If you're in the market for a therapist, Coach, or nutritionist - or if you are a therapist, coach, or nutritionist, you must go check them out at OKclarity.com. Also, if you have WhatsApp, OKclarity has an amazing WhatsApp status or groups with thousands of obsessed followers. Their WhatsApp is a free way to improve your mental health and they post great humor so you'll laugh too. If you have WhatsApp shoot them a message at 917-426-1495. Find an OKclarity verified professional: https://okclarity.com Join OKclarity on WhatsApp status or groups: https://api.whatsapp.com/send?phone=19174261495&text=Hey!%20I'd%20like%20to%20join%20OKclarity%20on%20WhatsApp.%20(EJLP) Become an OKclarity verified professional: https://www.topjewishtherapists.com/
If you haven't come across Alfie Kohn yet, stop reading this and check out his book Unconditional Parenting. Seriously, go right now, here's the link.Unconditional Parenting is an absolute game changer when it comes to re-framing how to show up as a parent.I found re-listening to the conversation I had with Alfie back in 2021 super useful so thought I'd re-share it this week.Before Alfie became a parent he had done some initial research that led to a couple of earlier books, including one called Punished by Rewards that found that rewards, like punishments, are not only ineffective, but also counterproductive. That the carrot and stick or bribe and threat approach with kids, and for that matter with students in school, and employees in the workplace, always backfires, that it's a way of doing things to people instead of working with them.He came to realise that the case against traditional parenting, was even worse, even more disturbing, because it turns out that rewards, such as praise—which is after all just a verbal doggy biscuit extended to kids to get them to do what we want—ends up communicating the idea that our affection for them, our love and our care, is conditional, that they have to jump through our hoops and that there are strings attached to our love. Whereas really what kids need is not just to be loved, but to be loved unconditionally. That is, even when they screw up or fall short.What Alfie gets at is that trying to shape our children's behaviour is at best short term thinking, and at worst manipulation. Whereas getting to understand what our child needs and helping them develop their own agency and decision making is much more long-term thinking with manifold benefits for both us and them. I hope you enjoy this listen as much as I did.Big HugRichPS If you could leave a review for the podcast that would be mega! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.thedadmindset.com
Happy New Year and Welcome back to season 4 of the Raising Wildlings Podcast!In this episode, I get to chat with Alfie Kohn, the author of my all-time favourite parenting book, Unconditional Parenting.
Alfie Kohn is the author of several books, including Punished by Rewards and Unconditional Parenting. He joins The Compass to explain how the traditional “do this and you'll get that” approach to parenting may get temporary compliance by does not help your child long-term. To learn more about Alfie Kohn's work, visit www.alfiekohn.org
Alfie Kohn is the author of several books including Punished by Rewards and Unconditional Parenting. He joins The Compass to explain how the traditional “do this and you'll get that” approach to parenting may get temporary compliance by does not help your child long-term. To learn more about Alfie Kohn's work visit www.alfiekohn.org
Blimie Heller is the woman behind Unconditional Parenting, a platform helping parents build relationships with their children. In this episode, Rivki & Blimie discuss the evolution of parenting over generations, coping with dysregulation, and setting exceptions with your children. CHAPTER MARKERS (1:42) - Guest Intro (2:43) - The Unconditional Parenting Perspective (7:31) - The Evolution of Parenting (14:41) - Regulation & Dysregulation With Children (35:47) - Rivki's Personal Experiences With Dysregulation (55:43) - Learning The Developmental Progress Of Your Child (59:27 - Listener's Questions (01:08:10) - Expectations Of Children Find Blimie: Blimie's Instagram, Blimie's Website. Find Rivki: Rivki's Instagram, Rivki's Blog.
Parenting is all-encompassing and all-consuming, even if you're not a helicopter parent. At the very bare minimum, we are tasked with keeping our offspring alive. Yet we also want to facilitate our children's emotional, spiritual, psychological, physical, social and academic growth! And we very much don't want to hinder their growth and development with our mistakes, missteps and full-blown fails.Enter Blimie Heller with her compassionate unconditional parenting approach, and parenting feels a lot more manageable. We're grateful that Blimie shares her wisdom with us on this episode of DMC about how to be more compassionate towards our children in understanding the root of behaviors, as well as how to be more compassionate towards ourselves in our parenting journeys.In our conversation with Blimie, we discuss: what unconditional parenting is and how she discovered it strengthening the parent/child relationship the power of empathy in parenting dealing with feelings of failure in parenting how to see the root causes driving children's behavior We'd love to hear from you. You can find Deep Meaningful Conversations on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter, or you can email us at dmc@meaningfulminute.org.Show notes:Blimie's website:https://www.blimieheller.com/On instagram as @unconditional_parentingBlimie's book recommendations:Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn Hold On To Your Kids by Dr. Gordon NeufeldNon-Violent Communication by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg
In this week's episode I go solo for the first time since episode 1 and share my journey of homeschooling and sending my own child to school.I discuss when and how I decided to homeschool my children, some traumatic incidences we have experienced when sending my eldest child to school and the approach we use for homeschooling.I chat about how my eldest son has started back at school, after over 2 years of homeschooling, and how my youngest son is still homeschooled.I also share how we chose my eldest child's schools and what we were looking for in order for him to experience the best support to meet his needs.As parents, we really do need a village, of our own choosing, to truly thrive and ensure everyone's needs are met. No matter what we choose for each of our children, it is so important to remove the judgment we feel towards ourselves and others because it is a hard journey, and we are all doing the best we can in any given moment.Where You Can Find Me:Website: https://spiritedhearts.net/ Instagram: @spirited_heartsABOUT STEPH:Steph is the founder of Spirited Hearts™ with Steph Fleeton; Spirited Hearts™ Natural Learning Haven, Mamas Sacred Circle® and this beautiful podcast.She is a Holistic Childhood Mentor, Early Childhood Educator, Parent Support Counsellor, Aware Parenting Instructor and Circle Facilitator.Steph is a Mum to 2 boys; the eldest is in school and the younger is homeschooled.She has always had a passion for psychology and counselling. However, it wasn't until she had my first son in 2013 that she realised her niche passion was in assisting parents and children to live their best lives. She delved deeply into Aware Parenting, Unconditional Parenting, Conscious Parenting and Playful Parenting and the philosophies and practices resonated deeply. Steph first started her Family Day Care in Canberra at the beginning of 2015, alongside her husband. Now, based in QLD and an Independent Natural Learning Haven for children aged 1-8 years old. Providing community and a sense of belonging for homeschooled children over 5 years old, and a natural learning, play-based environment for younger children to learn about themselves and the world. With a strong focus on meeting each individual child's needs in an emotional supportive and caring environment, with many adventures and investigations into life along the way.
I truly believe that the way for us to teach kids the values we really want to pass on, is to do our best to embody and model them in our daily lives. But it's hard because sometimes these double standards are so sneaky, and are cloaked in our cultural conditioning that can make us prejudiced against kids so that we can feel justified in saying, "my kids can't do this but I can since I am an adult." And some of these may be so deeply ingrained that we aren't even aware of them, which means we may be perpetuating them without even realizing it! (And I'm right there with you on this, I still find myself setting double standards from time to time, and luckily we've created an environment where our kids feel safe enough to push back and question us, and show us where the double standards are. They are such amazing partners in this parenting journey.) And that is why, for this week's episode, we will be talking about the sneaky double standards that gets in our way of parenting. And to help me in the conversation, we have Blimie Heller of Unconditional Parenting (one of my favorite Instagram accounts, go check it out @unconditional_parenting). She is a mom who's passionate about helping parents build relationships with their children based on respect and trust. We would like to invite you for a little homework after you listen to this episode. Grab a notebook or your journal and list down the double standards you notice in your parenting and share it on Instagram. Don't forget to tag us, @unconditional_parenting@laurafroyenphd so we'll know. And if you're up for more work, I'd love to invite you to join me in my Reactivity to Responsiveness Challenge taking place at the end of September. All the details for signing up are here: www.laurafroyen.com/reactivity.Find more show notes here: www.laurafroyen.com/podcast
Today's podcast is in 2 parts. In the first part, I was so fortunate to interview Alfie Kohn. Mr Kohn is a writer and speaker who specializes in human behaviour, education and parenting. He is the author of 14 books and hundreds of articles and lectures at education conferences and universities, as well as to parent groups and corporations. Mr Kohn talks today about moving away from an approach to parenting which is based on having power over our children, to one based on working with our children. He explains how research has challenged many of the assumptions about mainstream approaches to raising our children. He explains that punishments and rewards are really both manipulation and control of our children and only work temporarily and at great cost to our relationship with our children. He describes how intrinsic motivation is damaged by rewards, praise and punishments. We discuss how to offer our children unconditional love in a way that our children receive as unconditional and how to parent without these coercive “sticks”. He also briefly discusses the failings of education systems that are based on testing, homework, and grades, all of which destroy creativity, meaningful learning and the desire to learn. In part 2 of this episode, I outline the Aware Parenting perspective on not using punishments or rewards. I describe how to shift our thinking away from the behaviour modification perspective of trying to control and coerce our children and move instead to an Aware Parenting perspective of power with our children. I explain how to treat our children in a way that allows them to feel unconditionally loved, and how to ‘discipline' our children with a compassionate and connected approach that looks underneath our children's behaviour so we can identity what is getting in the way of them being their natural, loving, cooperative selves. I provide many strategies that parents can use instead of punishments or rewards to make parenting more enjoyable, to deepen our relationship with our children and support ourselves to be the parent we want to be. To find out more about Alfie Kohn, please visit www.alfiekohn.org I highly recommend Alfie Kohn's books “Punished by Rewards” and “Unconditional Parenting”, as well as “Cooperative and Connected” by Aletha Solter and her article “20 Alternatives to Punishment” available on her website www.awareparenting.com
On this episode of Culture Counter, meet award-winning author and speaker Alfie Kohn. We discuss the dangers of transactional relationships, blind obedience, punishments, and, believe it or not, rewards. Alfie Kohn's website: https://www.alfiekohn.org/ Links to the books we discuss in this episode: Punished by Rewards https://www.alfiekohn.org/punished-rewards/ Unconditional Parenting https://www.alfiekohn.org/unconditional-parenting-book/ No Contest https://www.alfiekohn.org/contest/ "The Happiness Lab--Making the Grade" podcast episode by Dr. Laurie Santos: https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/making-the-grade
In this episode, I introduce you to Corey and Stoney, the two new Peaceful Parenting Coaches here at Sarah Rosensweet Peaceful Parenting. We chat about our peaceful parenting journeys as well as our most influential parenting books over the years. We go into: [1:45] Introducing Corey to the team [3:10] Introducing Stoney to the team [5:50] Sarah's most influential parenting books [8:35] Corey's most influential parenting books [13:00] Stoney's most influential parenting books [24:30] The importance of equal partnership [32:50] What to do if you're struggling with burnout Resources mentioned in this episode Episode 24: Coaching call with Corey: When Peaceful Parenting Wasn't Enough Episode 47: Shame-Proof Parenting with Mercedes Samudio Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids by Dr. Laura Marham Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn Punished by Rewards by Alfie Kohn Shame Proof Parenting by Mercedes Samudio Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne The Soul of Discipline by Kim John Payne Raising Human Beings by Ross Greene Find Your Unicorn Space by Eve Rodsky Fair Play by Eve Rodsky Impossible Parenting by Olivia Scobie How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids by Jancee Dunn All The Rage: Mothers, Fathers, and The Myth of Equal Partnership by Darcy Lockman Burnout by Emily and Amelia Nagoski Connect with Sarah Rosensweet On Instagram On Facebook https://www.sarahrosensweet.com Book a short consult or coaching session call
When we are shifting our parenting paradigm from a power-over to a power-with our child, we can often feel a little lost in the daily practicalities of what this looks like... especially mid-meltdown! In this episode Shelley unpacks for us what it actually means to listen to our child's feelings, exactly why we listen to our child cry and how to do that without feeling triggered ourselves. Listen as she translates the practical process to use within your home and hear her share personal parenting stories, so that you get an understanding of what it means to listen to feelings!In this episode you'll learn about:- why it is important to be compassionate with yourself while you're learning this new way of parenting- why using scripts of what to say to your child can severe the connection rather than strengthen it- why it is vital to understand that feelings accumulate in a child's body and the expression of them is often unenjoyable for us but important for them- how it is our job as a parent to hold the space for the child and their body's natural processes- how doing this for our child helps them stay connected to the sensations in their bodies and more able to access their yes's and no's If you are wanting to understand the ways you can really strengthen the connection you have to your child by simply listening, then this is the podcast episode for you!Download your free Listening to feelings sheet from todays episode:https://mailchi.mp/shelleyclarke.com/listeningtofeelings 21 days of play courseContinue the conversation with Shelley here:https://www.facebook.com/shelleyclarkemindbodyparentinghttps://www.instagram.com/_shelleyclarke_/This podcast is produced by Nikki O'Brien from Quintessential Being
In this very first episode, I share the story, well part of the story of Spirited Hearts and how it has evolved over the last 8 years.I briefly discuss my own parenting journey, pregnancies and births, and how they have impacted Spirited Hearts. This episode gives you, dear listener, a brief background of who I am, what I do and my why.From here we delve into beautiful, rich and deep conversations with the most amazing and inspiring guests, and occasionally I will continue to share parts of my story in solo episodes.Please feel free to get comfortable and relax, as we start embark on this journey of storytelling, parenting, family and life.Where You Can Find Me:Website: https://spiritedhearts.net/ Instagram: @spirited_heartsABOUT STEPH:Steph is the founder of Spirited Hearts with Steph Fleeton, Spirited Hearts Natural Learning Haven, Mamas Sacred Circle™ and this beautiful podcast.She is a Holistic Childhood Mentor, Early Childhood Educator, Parent Support Counsellor, Aware Parenting Instructor and Circle Facilitator.Steph is a Mum to 2 boys; the eldest is in school and the younger is homeschooled.She has always had a passion for psychology and counselling. However, it wasn't until she had my first son in 2013 that she realised her niche passion was in assisting parents and children to live their best lives. She delved deeply into Aware Parenting, Unconditional Parenting, Conscious Parenting and Playful Parenting and the philosophies and practices resonated deeply. Steph first started her Family Day Care in Canberra at the beginning of 2015, alongside her husband. Now, based in QLD and an Independent Natural Learning Haven for children aged 1-10 years old. Providing community and a sense of belonging for homeschooled children over 5 years old, and a natural learning, play-based environment for younger children to learn about themselves and the world. With a strong focus on meeting each individual child's needs in an emotional supportive and caring environment, with many adventures and investigations into life along the way.
In this episode of Freedom Lovin, Kevin continues his exploration of Alfie Kohn's Punished by Rewards, commenting on the important difference between intrinsic motivation and external motivation and how the former can be encouraged, rather than snuffed out by the modern education system. O post FL 185: [FREEDOM READS] Unconditional Parenting Part 4 apareceu primeiro em Freedom Lovin.
In this episode of Freedom Lovin, Kevin continues his exploration of Alfie Kohn's Punished by Rewards, commenting on the important difference between intrinsic motivation and external motivation and how the former can be encouraged, rather than snuffed out by the modern education system. O post FL 183: [FREEDOM READS] Unconditional Parenting Part 3 apareceu primeiro em Freedom Lovin.
In this episode of Freedom Lovin, Kevin continues his exploration of Alfie Kohn's Punished by Rewards, commenting on the important difference between intrinsic motivation and external motivation and how the former can be encouraged, rather than snuffed out by the modern education system. O post FL 181: [FREEDOM READS] Unconditional Parenting Part 2 apareceu primeiro em Freedom Lovin.
In this episode of Freedom Lovin, Kevin continues his exploration of Alfie Kohn's Punished by Rewards, commenting on the important difference between intrinsic motivation and external motivation and how the former can be encouraged, rather than snuffed out by the modern education system. O post FL 179: [FREEDOM READS] Freedom on a Societal vs Individual Level – Unconditional Parenting apareceu primeiro em Freedom Lovin.
Author and human behavior expert Alfie Kohn talks about what it means to parent unconditionally and explains the downsides of parenting with rewards, punishments, and other approaches aimed at behavior modification.For more information, visit the show notes at https://tiltparenting.com/session131Support the show
Alfie Kohn has been challenging Standard American Parenting for decades. While using modern research, he dissects common parenting practices (timeouts, sticker charts, praise, etc.) and presents them in a new light…revealing the darker side to these common approaches.In this episode, Mr. Kohn and I discuss why these practices are deeply ingrained in our society and why we need to leave them behind. I encourage everyone to read his transformative book, Unconditional Parenting. It is eye-opening, insightful, and wise. It will help any reader become a better parent.If you are new to peaceful/respectful parenting or a seasoned vet, you will be forever impacted by this powerful book.Find Alfie Kohn here:Alfie Kohn's WebsiteFind Nicolette here:Nicolette's WebsiteNicolette's InstagramHave an idea for an episode? Feel free to shoot me an email at nicolette@mamasrootsareshowing.com
Justin & Kylie speak with Alfie Kohn about report cardsIn this episode, they discuss: Alfie's opinion on report cards When children are being evaluated, it reduces their motivation Intrinsic vc extrinsic motivation Grades for effort What should parents do with the report cards? Learn more about Alfie Kohn#137 Punishment & Rewards with Alfie Kohn#150 Unconditional Parenting with Alfie Kohn#160 The Trouble With Time Out with Alfie Kohn#249 Best of - Discipline, Punishment & Rewards with Dr Alfie KohnPurchase Tweens, Teens & Screens or find it in your Happy Families Membership. Because a happy family doesn't just happen.Find us on Facebook at Dr Justin Coulson's Happy FamiliesEmail us your questions and comments at podcasts@happyfamilies.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Justin & Kylie speak with Alfie Kohn about report cards In this episode, they discuss: Alfie's opinion on report cards When children are being evaluated, it reduces their motivation Intrinsic vc extrinsic motivation Grades for effort What should parents do with the report cards? Learn more about Alfie Kohn #137 Punishment & Rewards with Alfie Kohn #150 Unconditional Parenting with Alfie Kohn #160 The Trouble With Time Out with Alfie Kohn #249 Best of - Discipline, Punishment & Rewards with Dr Alfie Kohn Purchase Tweens, Teens & Screens or find it in your Happy Families Membership. Because a happy family doesn't just happen. Find us on Facebook at Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families Email us your questions and comments at podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au
Gentle parenting, unconditional parenting, respectful parenting these are some of the names for this novel parenting style. Join me for a fascinating Interview with Blimie Heller a parenting coach who shares the method and philosophy behind unconditional parenting. This podcast will leave you feeling uplifted and inspired to parent at a higher level of love and connection. There are so many great takeaways! Sit back, relax, and be ready to grow --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/apositivepodcast/support
Tony and Kara discuss the book Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn, whose previous work includes "Punished by Rewards: The Trouble with Gold Stars, Incentive Plans, A's, Praise, and Other Bribes". Though Unconditional Parenting was Kohn's 10th book, it was his first focused entirely on parenting. Unconditional Parenting reviews the shortcomings of Behaviorism and other efforts to control our children's behavior and focuses instead on understanding and acceptance.
Blimie Heller is a parenting coach who offers courses on her groundbreaking approach, which is based on building wholesome relationships centered around respect + trust. Here, we get a glimpse intro some foundational concepts that she weaves into the fabric of her parenting. Blimie's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/unconditional_parenting/ To book a course, or see more: https://linktr.ee/Unconditionalparenting Rivki's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rivkirabinowitz/
Topics discussed in this episode: When children are constantly praised for doing 'the right thing', they start to feel as though they're only lovable when they behave If kids feel like there are strings attached to their parents love, it gets in the way of healthy development Dr Justin shares a wonderful moment with one of his daughters Care that has to be earned isn't worthy of being called care If there's unconditional love present, praise is unnecessary. And if unconditional love is not present, praise is certainly not going to help Webinar Dr Justin mentioned - Why we should End the Praise Craze (Also included in our Happy Families Membership)Find us on Facebook at Dr Justin Coulson's Happy FamiliesEmail us your questions and comments at podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
The early years of a child's life are a critical developmental period. The interactions a child has with adults in these early years can shape how they develop, perceive themselves, and also how they interact with others throughout their life. Understanding the research in the field of Child Development is an important part of developing the strategies and approaches that have the most beneficial impact on a child. In this episode we will discuss best practices informed by the latest research in how to connect with young children and provide quality feedback in what Dr Shimamura refers to as unconditional parenting. Dr Hanako Shimamura is a child development specialist with a PhD in Education from the University of Oxford. She has been involved in the field of Early Childhood Education, especially Montessori education for the past 15 years. Her first book “How to provide connecting feedback to children” was published on April 17 2020 and is ranked No 1 in the early childhood education category on Amazon Japan. Hana's expertise and empathetic approach to learning has had great impact among parents. Her online seminars helping parents understand how to connect with their young children in a more effective manner, has been incredibly popular. Hana is currently a full-time faculty member in an Early Childhood Education program at Lethbridge College, Alberta, Canada.
"Unconditional Parenting" by Alfie Kohn is a groundbreaking approach to parenting that gives parents powerful alternatives to help children become their most caring, responsible selves. Even if you don't have children or if they are grown, this book connects dots and explains what leads some of our current behaviors and choices. Alfie has written prolifically on the subject of shifting from punishment/reward (doing to), to more of a 'working with' relationship with our children. He is humorous and unapologetic in this! Enjoy!
Special guest: Alfie Kohn. Many parenting books offer countless tips for dealing with kids when they misbehave in the eyes of their parents—refusing to go to bed, rejecting the vegetables they've been told to eat, talking back, yelling in the restaurant, badgering their sibling or resisting doing the tasks it takes to get to school on time. But the way parents cope with these challenging behaviors might be backfiring even if they work in the short term. My next guest asks many thought-provoking questions in his book, Unconditional Parenting- but two seem to be at the forefront. First; “What are your long-term objectives for your children?” and second, given those long term goals, which are likely for your child to be some version of a kind, independent, confident, competent, happy and fulfilled person—are the ways in which you are parenting lending themselves to creating that type of person IN the long run—or not? It's time to take a hard look at some of the parenting practices that have become so common that they are accepted as the acceptable norm- time outs, positive re-enforcement, consequences, withdrawal of attention, punishment—and start taking a hard look at UNCONDITIONAL parenting- a parenting philosophy and practice in which parental love and attention is not in a push-pull relationship with how our children behave. On top of that, UNCONDITIONAL parenting puts to rest the notion that children are trying to make trouble—and instead, assumesthe best of the child and looks at the child as a whole person not a compilation of good and bad behaviors.Alfie Kohn is the author of 14 books on education, parenting, and human behavior, including PUNISHED BY REWARDS (1993), THE SCHOOLS OUR CHILDREN DESERVE (1999), UNCONDITIONAL PARENTING (2005), THE HOMEWORK MYTH (2006), and THE MYTH OF THE SPOILED CHILD (2014). He has appeared twice on “Oprah,” as well as on “The Today Show” and many other TV and radio programs. His articles include: “Five Reasons to Stop Saying ‘Good Job!'”, “How Not to Teach Values,” and “Atrocious Advice from ‘Supernanny.' ” Kohn works with educators and parents across the country and speaks regularly at national conferences. He lives (actually) in the Boston area and (virtually) at www.alfiekohn.org. The post How to Practice Unconditional Parenting Using Love and Reason with Alfie Kohn appeared first on drrobynsilverman.com.
Special guest: Alfie Kohn. Many parenting books offer countless tips for dealing with kids when they misbehave in the eyes of their parents—refusing to go to bed, rejecting the vegetables they've been told to eat, talking back, yelling in the restaurant, badgering their sibling or resisting doing the tasks it takes to get to school on time. But the way parents cope with these challenging behaviors might be backfiring even if they work in the short term. My next guest asks many thought-provoking questions in his book, Unconditional Parenting- but two seem to be at the forefront. First; “What are your long-term objectives for your children?” and second, given those long term goals, which are likely for your child to be some version of a kind, independent, confident, competent, happy and fulfilled person—are the ways in which you are parenting lending themselves to creating that type of person IN the long run—or not? It's time to take a hard look at some of the parenting practices that have become so common that they are accepted as the acceptable norm- time outs, positive re-enforcement, consequences, withdrawal of attention, punishment—and start taking a hard look at UNCONDITIONAL parenting- a parenting philosophy and practice in which parental love and attention is not in a push-pull relationship with how our children behave. On top of that, UNCONDITIONAL parenting puts to rest the notion that children are trying to make trouble—and instead, assumesthe best of the child and looks at the child as a whole person not a compilation of good and bad behaviors.Alfie Kohn is the author of 14 books on education, parenting, and human behavior, including PUNISHED BY REWARDS (1993), THE SCHOOLS OUR CHILDREN DESERVE (1999), UNCONDITIONAL PARENTING (2005), THE HOMEWORK MYTH (2006), and THE MYTH OF THE SPOILED CHILD (2014). He has appeared twice on “Oprah,” as well as on “The Today Show” and many other TV and radio programs. His articles include: “Five Reasons to Stop Saying ‘Good Job!'”, “How Not to Teach Values,” and “Atrocious Advice from ‘Supernanny.' ” Kohn works with educators and parents across the country and speaks regularly at national conferences. He lives (actually) in the Boston area and (virtually) at www.alfiekohn.org. The post How to Practice Unconditional Parenting Using Love and Reason with Alfie Kohn appeared first on drrobynsilverman.com.