Podcast appearances and mentions of justin coulson

We usually talk about tech as a problem — screens, addiction, distraction — but what if it could actually make family life better? In this episode, Dr Justin Coulson chats with two innovative parents, Matt and Brianna Donaldson, about how they're using smart technology to support routines, reduce stress, and create more quality time together. From bedtime battles to TV tantrums, discover how smart lights, switches, and routines can bring more peace and predictability to your home — no tech degree required! KEY POINTS: Around 80% of Millennial and Gen Z parents are now using smart home tech to manage home life. Smart devices (like lights, switches, and TVs) can automate routines to reduce friction — especially around bedtime. Tech can enhance a child’s autonomy and transitions (e.g. lights dimming, music playing) without constant parental prompting. Boundaries and structure are still essential — even in tech-forward homes. It’s not about more tech, but intentional tech that supports family connection and calm. You don’t have to spend thousands: starting with a $20 smart switch can begin transforming routines. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: “It’s not Mum or Dad turning off the TV — it’s the house. The structure is doing the heavy lifting.” — Dr Justin Coulson RESOURCES MENTIONED: Samsung SmartThings App Smart Switches (available from retailers like JB Hi-Fi or Kmart) Bluey and the Tony Box (a screen-free audio player for kids) The Parenting Revolution – by Dr Justin Coulson happyfamilies.com.au ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Start small. Try one smart light or switch in a high-impact area like the bedroom. Automate transitions. Use tech cues (e.g. dim lights + calming music) to support routines like bedtime. Keep boundaries clear. Set firm, predictable limits around tech use — especially screens. Use tech to reclaim time. Automate cleaning (like smart vacuums) or other routines to free up family time. Let the “house be the boss.” Reduce conflict by letting routines and automation do the talking. Prioritise presence. Tech should serve family life, not steal from it. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Is it ADHD… or something else entirely? This episode dives into one of the most debated topics in parenting and child psychology. Dr Justin Coulson answers a heartfelt question from a concerned parent: Should I pursue a formal ADHD diagnosis for my child — or are there better first steps to take? If you're feeling overwhelmed by symptoms, advice, and conflicting opinions, this conversation will help you slow down, zoom out, and see your child through a compassionate, research-informed lens. KEY POINTS: ADHD diagnosis rates are rising — but is it always the right label? Some children may be diagnosed for what is actually normal developmental variation or environmental mismatch. ADHD-like symptoms may be a child’s way of trying to meet three unmet psychological needs: Connection (relatedness) Capability (competence) Control (autonomy) Neuroinflammation is an emerging and overlooked factor in ADHD symptoms. Developmental readiness matters — an 8-year-old’s brain is still undergoing major executive function development. Rather than trying to eliminate stress, parents can help children build capacity to handle challenge (a growth mindset). Medication might help some, but it’s not the first (or only) answer. Diagnosis should be thoughtful, multi-faceted, and whole-child focused. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: "Difference doesn't mean disorder. Development is not a race." – Dr Justin Coulson RESOURCES MENTIONED: The Parenting Revolution by Dr Justin Coulson Happy Families – for more articles, podcast episodes, and parenting resources Self-Determination Theory & Growth Mindset research Parenting ADHD [The Course] ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Delay formal diagnosis (unless impairment is severe) and give time for development. Audit the environment for connection, competence, and autonomy — is it need-thwarting or need-supportive? Support physical health: Prioritise sleep, unprocessed foods, and movement. Explore reducing neuroinflammation through lifestyle. Teach a growth mindset: Use the word “yet”, encourage effort, and model learning through challenges. Reframe behaviours: Daydreaming may signal creativity, not dysfunction. Risk-taking may show courage and capability-seeking. Task resistance may be about autonomy, not defiance. If pursuing assessment, choose a clinician who understands development, context, and the whole child — not just a checklist. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I'll Do Better Tomorrow: The Power of Teaching Kids About EmotionsKids don’t magically learn emotional regulation—they need to be taught. In this special Friday episode of I’ll Do Better Tomorrow, Justin and Kylie reflect on a big week: a powerful email from the past, and a meaningful family conversation about emotions. They share how their weekly “teaching tradition” helps their kids understand, express, and manage big feelings—with practical ideas any parent can try at home. KEY POINTS Weekly family tradition:The Coulsons have moved from monthly “tricky topic” chats to weekly conversations—because consistency matters more than perfection. Understanding emotions visually:Emotions were mapped across two axes—energy (high/low) and pleasantness (pleasant/unpleasant)—to help kids name and normalise feelings. Teaching emotional regulation:Emotions aren’t who we are; they’re what we feel. Kids were taught to “move through” emotions rather than get stuck in them. Adaptive vs maladaptive coping:Adaptive strategies included movement, music, cold water, connection, and even cleaning. Maladaptive strategies included isolation, outbursts, or ruminating alone. Explicit teaching works:Kids responded well to a clear, hands-on conversation. And yes—one child acted it all out in real time. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “Emotions are not who we are—they're something we move through.” RESOURCES MENTIONED The Parenting Revolution – Book by Dr Justin Coulson happyfamilies.com.au – resources for family connection Consent education: Consent Can't Wait campaign ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Start a Weekly Chat TraditionChoose a consistent time (e.g. Sunday evenings) to talk about a value, life skill, or tricky topic as a family. Teach Emotions in Two DimensionsUse energy (high/low) and pleasantness (pleasant/unpleasant) to help kids map their feelings more clearly. Help Kids Reframe Their LanguageInstead of “I am angry,” encourage “I have anger.” It promotes healthier emotional distance. Create an Adaptive Coping List TogetherBrainstorm ways to manage big feelings that work for your family: music, exercise, pets, hugs, laughter. Be Consistent, Not Perfect It’s not about grand lessons—it’s about regular, intentional connection that grows with your children. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What happens when you strip your smartphone of its “smart”? In this Doctor’s Desk deep dive, Justin and Kylie unpack a groundbreaking new study showing what really happens when people block mobile internet on their smartphones. The results? Better focus. Improved wellbeing. Healthier screen habits. Drawing on the science, personal experience, and insights from Jonathan Haidt and game designers themselves, this episode offers a wake-up call—and a way forward—for families navigating digital overload. KEY POINTS First-of-its-kind research: A randomised controlled trial published in PNAS Nexus found that blocking mobile internet improved sustained attention, mental health, and subjective wellbeing. 91% improved: Nearly all participants in the study saw measurable gains by turning off mobile internet for just two weeks. How behaviour changes: People spent more time socialising, exercising, and being in nature—activities that are strongly linked to happiness and resilience. Jonathan Haidt’s insight: The greatest harm of screens isn’t just anxiety—it’s the destruction of attention and the erosion of childhood development. Addiction by design: Game developers and social media engineers want you and your kids to be addicted. Their business depends on it. Not all screen time is equal: Watching a movie with someone? Often fine. Scrolling alone on a touchscreen? Psychologically harmful. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “We are prisoners to our devices—and the smartest people on earth designed it that way.” RESOURCES MENTIONED Study: Blocking Mobile Internet on Smartphones Improves Sustained Attention, Mental Health, and Subjective Wellbeing (PNAS Nexus) The Anxious Generation – Jonathan Haidt The Parenting Revolution – Dr Justin Coulson happyfamilies.com.au The Light Phone 3 (Justin’s personal attempt at going “dumb”) ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Block Internet Access on Phones Use settings or third-party tools to disable mobile internet on smartphones, especially for kids. Switch to “Dumb Mode” Calls and texts only. Move social and entertainment use to desktop computers to limit impulsive use. Model Change Yourself Consider your own phone use. Try a one-week mobile internet detox and note how your mind and mood change. Prioritise Real-World Activity Encourage (and plan for) more time in nature, exercise, and in-person connection. Educate & Equip Talk to your kids about how screens are designed. Teach them to spot manipulation—and reclaim their attention. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What do you do when your anxiety has become their anxiety? In this listener Q&A, Justin and Kylie respond to Amy from Melbourne—a self-diagnosed helicopter parent whose 9-year-old daughter now struggles with fear and risk aversion. With compassion and practical insight, they break down the difference between risky and dangerous play, explore the impact of parental anxiety, and offer real-world strategies to build your child’s confidence—without ignoring safety. KEY POINTS Risk ≠ Danger: Risky play involves challenge with decision-making and agency. Dangerous or hazardous play involves hidden threats kids can’t yet assess. Why Risky Play Matters: It improves mental health, builds confidence, reduces anxiety, enhances learning, and strengthens decision-making. Parental Anxiety is Contagious: When parents over-control, children miss the chance to develop autonomy and trust in their own judgement. Structure Builds Competence: Autonomy-supportive parenting isn’t “hands off”—it means offering guidance, boundaries, and support while allowing your child to step up gradually. Small Steps Lead to Big Growth: You don’t have to throw your child in the deep end. Micro-risks—like ordering lunch, paying for milk, or exploring a store aisle alone—build trust and resilience. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “The goal is to keep children as safe as necessary—not as safe as possible.” RESOURCES MENTIONED The Parenting Revolution by Dr Justin Coulson happyfamilies.com.au – More resources for autonomy-supportive parenting Submit your question: happyfamilies.com.au/podcast ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Start With a Conversation Gently acknowledge your own anxiety and let your child know you’re learning to trust her more. Introduce Low-Stakes Risks: Let her pay for something at the shops Send her to order lunch while you wait nearby Assign a small independent task at home Teach, Then Step Back Give your child the structure to succeed—rules, expectations, safety cues—then give them space to apply it. Increase Freedom Gradually As both your and your child’s confidence grows, slowly expand what she’s allowed to do without your help. Keep Safety Contextual Not every environment is safe for independence. Know your context, but look for creative alternatives to build autonomy. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What if the most powerful thing you can do as a parent… is let go? Today’s episode dives into one of the most radical and relieving ideas in parenting: trusting your child’s natural development. Drawing on powerful research from McGill University, Dr Justin explores why pushing less can actually lead to more—less stress, more confidence, fewer behavioural issues, and healthier relationships. Learn how to spot the traps of controlling parenting and discover the four key ingredients to raising capable, self-motivated kids—without the pressure. KEY POINTS The Research: A 2008 study by Landry et al. found that parents who trust their children’s natural development feel more competent, enjoy parenting more, and have children with fewer behaviour problems. Trust ≠ Permissive Parenting: It’s not about doing nothing—it’s about guiding without controlling, believing that your child has an innate drive to grow and learn. The Stress Trap of Controlling Parenting: When parents feel responsible for every part of a child’s progress, they become ego-involved. This leads to micro-managing, overstimulation, and undermines the child’s self-motivation. Four Core Practices of Trust-Based Parenting: Explain why – Not just "because I said so" Validate feelings – Acknowledge the struggle without removing limits Offer real choices – Not manipulative options, but genuine autonomy Minimise control – Step back from bribes, threats, and pressure Cultural Insight: Norwegian mums, with more social support, showed higher trust in natural development than Canadian mums—highlighting how systemic pressure affects parenting mindset. Trust Leads to Growth: Kids with trusting parents show better self-regulation, higher intrinsic motivation, and fewer behavioural problems. They trust their own capabilities—because their parents do. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “The most radical thing you can do as a parent might be to trust your child.” RESOURCES MENTIONED Landry et al. (2008) study on trust in development The Parenting Revolution by Dr Justin Coulson happyfamilies.com.au – Parenting resources and support ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Stop Comparing Ditch the charts, milestone checklists, and other kids' timelines. Trust your child’s rhythm. Pause Before You Push Ask: “Is this about my child—or my anxiety?” Shift from Director to Facilitator Create opportunities, then step back and let your child take the lead. Use the Four Trust Tools: Give reasons Recognise feelings Offer choices Minimise control Remember the Long Game Development isn’t a race. If you're planting seeds, don’t keep digging them up to see if they’re growing. Just nurture, support—and trust. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dr. Justin Coulson speaks with former Disney executive and GameTruck founder Scott Novis about the hidden dangers of video games—and how parents can help their kids develop a healthy relationship with gaming. From understanding addictive design to replacing screen time with real-world connection, this conversation delivers practical, real-world solutions for every family navigating the digital age. KEY POINTS Addiction by Design: Some game developers deliberately design games using the "hook algorithm" to exploit children’s brain development and keep them playing compulsively. Self-Determination vs. Hooked Gaming: Games built on autonomy, mastery, and relatedness (like Minecraft) build skills and confidence. Hooked games create craving, not satisfaction. 3 Hacks for Safer Gaming: Buy the game (don’t use free-to-play). Play offline (limits tracking and manipulation). Listen to how your child talks about the game (progress = good, frustration = red flag). Ending Game Time Without Conflict: Pre-agree on ending conditions, give non-verbal cues (like flicking the lights), and offer choices that preserve agency. Offline Substitutes Matter: Create "hard to enter, hard to leave" real-life communities (e.g., sports, jiu-jitsu, Dungeons & Dragons) that offer connection, skill-building, and purpose. Social Disconnection: Excessive gaming and screen time can cause “virtual autism” and impair emotional and social development. The Goal: Return to a play-based childhood that prioritises real-world connection, effort, and fun. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “If your child sounds like a victim when they talk about the game—they’re in trouble. If they sound empowered, they’re probably playing a good game.”— Scott Novis RESOURCES MENTIONED Books: The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt Glued to Games by Scott Rigby & Richard Ryan Scattered Minds by Dr. Gabor Maté Miss Connection by Dr. Justin Coulson Websites: https://www.scottnovis.com/ – Scott's personal site gametruck.com – Scott's company for social gaming experiences Article: William Siu's essay in The New York Times on game addiction and design ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Buy Games, Not AddictionsChoose paid games that don’t rely on manipulating your child’s attention or money. Play Offline Whenever PossibleRemove always-on connectivity that allows companies to track and shape behaviour. Ask the Right QuestionsIs your child developing skills—or just chasing random rewards? Listen for signs of empowerment or frustration. Negotiate Game Time Up FrontPre-agree on stop times and methods, give warnings (e.g., flicking lights), and honour your child’s autonomy. Replace, Don’t Just RemoveReplace screen time with rich, social, skill-building real-world activities—like sports, martial arts, tabletop games, or outdoor adventures. No Screens in BedroomsSet screen bedtimes. Keep devices out of reach at night to prevent secret play. Get InvolvedPlay games with your kids—even if you're bad at them. Model effort, learning, and connection. Watch for Red FlagsLook for sleep disruption, secretive behaviour, rage quitting, or declining school performance. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this lighthearted episode of the Happy Families Podcast, we revisit some of the funniest and most unexpected things kids say when learning about where babies come from. Inspired by our interview last week with parenting educator Michelle Mitchell and her book Where Do Babies Come From?, we share some laugh-out-loud stories that remind us how curious—and hilarious—kids can be. We also reflect on the importance of connection, structure, and giving kids something to look forward to. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “Let’s create our own purpose together.”— Justin Coulson, reflecting on how one dad helped his son rediscover joy and meaning through shared outdoor adventures. RESOURCES MENTIONED Michelle Mitchell's books: Where Do Babies Come From? The Girl's Guide to Puberty The Guy's Guide to Puberty Upcoming episode:Interview with Scott Novis, former VP at Disney, about managing kids and gaming without conflict (drops on Saturday!). ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Have the Talk—Early and Openly:Use age-appropriate, fact-based resources like Michelle Mitchell’s books to guide conversations about sex and puberty. Laugh Together:Don’t be afraid to see the humour in awkward conversations—sharing a laugh builds trust and openness. Create Connection Through Experience:Take time to plan simple but meaningful activities with your kids (e.g., camping, biking, time outdoors) that foster relationship and reduce reliance on screens. Build and Maintain Structure:Life can throw curveballs, but having a flexible routine helps maintain emotional and mental stability for the whole family. Don’t Give Up on Change:Implementing new habits is hard, especially in chaos, but small intentional resets make a big difference. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Is your child’s schedule packed from morning to night—or are they struggling with too much downtime? Today we explore the pressure parents feel to provide enrichment, the unintended consequences of overscheduling, and why finding the "sweet spot" of activities matters. Plus, we give practical, compassionate guidance to help families strike a healthy balance between stimulation, growth, and the simple joys of being a kid. KEY POINTS: The Pressure to Perform: Some communities foster competitive parenting cultures where success is measured by how "busy" and advanced kids are. Overscheduling Risks: Too many activities, especially at a young age, can lead to burnout, injury, anxiety, and screen dependence. The Value of Boredom: Downtime activates the brain’s default mode network, critical for identity formation and creativity. Joy Over Achievement: Extra-curriculars should feel like a highlight of the week—not a chore. Parental Motivations: Sometimes we push activities to validate our own efforts, not because they truly benefit the child. Finding the Sweet Spot: One or two joy-filled, child-led activities per week—plus unstructured time for play and connection—is often enough. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: “Sometimes the best thing for a child is simply the freedom to be a child.” — Justin Coulson RESOURCES MENTIONED: Happy Families Website: happyfamilies.com.au Justin Coulson's books and parenting presentations (particularly on resilience and child development) ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Evaluate Motivations: Ask yourself if the activities your child is in are for their growth—or your peace of mind or pride. Limit Activities: Aim for 1–2 extracurriculars per week, chosen based on your child’s genuine interests and capacity. Prioritise Unstructured Play: Make space for relaxed, screen-free time with friends or solo play to develop creativity and identity. Watch for Burnout Signs: If your child resists or dreads their activities, it may be time to scale back. Invest in Family Time: Schedule regular, quality time together. Family connection is foundational to wellbeing. Redefine Boredom: Don’t rush to fill every moment. Boredom can be a gateway to deeper thinking and imagination. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this warm and essential conversation, Dr. Justin Coulson sits down with author, educator, and parenting expert Michelle Mitchell to explore how parents can navigate conversations around sex, puberty, consent, and identity with their children aged 8–12. Michelle shares insights from her book Where Do Babies Come From?, offering parents practical tools to talk about tricky topics with clarity, confidence, and compassion. KEY POINTS: Parents often feel unsure or awkward when kids ask about sex, reproduction, or body changes—but avoiding the topic can lead to misinformation and anxiety. Michelle's book is written for kids aged 8–12 and includes age-appropriate detail, wraparound values, and medical illustrations to provide clarity and context. Talking about sex should include conversations about respect, emotional intimacy, and consent—not just the mechanics. Children benefit from being book “bosses”—given agency and choice about how, when, and with whom to learn this information. Respecting a child’s privacy and emotional readiness is crucial; discomfort is normal and protective. Conversations about consent start with everyday experiences: knocking before entering, asking before touching, and even checking in before offering advice. Identity and family story matter deeply—every child deserves to feel seen and safe, no matter how they came into the world. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: “If you don’t ever want that to happen to your body, you don’t have to—because anything to do with sex is 100% your choice.” —Michelle Mitchell RESOURCES MENTIONED: Where Do Babies Come From? by Michelle Mitchell The Girl’s Guide to Puberty and The Guy’s Guide to Puberty by Michelle Mitchell Michelle Mitchell’s website: www.michellemitchell.org Happy Families Website: www.happyfamilies.com.au Australian Government's Consent Can’t Wait Campaign ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Start Early: Begin conversations around body parts, privacy, and consent well before puberty. Choose the Right Resources: Use age-appropriate books like Michelle's to guide your conversations and revisit them often. Normalise Curiosity: Let your children know it’s okay to ask questions—nothing is off-limits. Respect Autonomy: Ask if your child wants to read with you or alone; offer space but stay present and open. Model Consent Daily: Ask permission before touching or offering advice to build mutual respect. Value Connection Over Perfection: You don’t need to have perfect answers—just be available and genuine.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Sometimes, the best thing we can do for our family… is slow down. In this reflective I’ll Do Better Tomorrow episode, Justin and Kylie Coulson share the power of pausing, being present, and choosing connection over control. From Sunday night beach walks to heartfelt conversations with teenage daughters, this episode is a gentle reminder that the simple moments matter most. KEY POINTS: Presence > Productivity. Slowing down, ditching the schedule, and being together—like a spontaneous walk after dinner—can be the reset your family needs. Connection is the goal. Whether you're navigating tough teen years or sharing a sunset, strong relationships grow from time, conversation, and attention. Repair matters more than perfection. Every parent will make mistakes. What counts is how we acknowledge, repair, and grow through them. Children are wired to connect. They want close relationships with us. Our job is to not let ego or defensiveness get in the way. Grace + ownership = healing. When your child opens up about past hurt, resist defensiveness. Instead, acknowledge it, own it, and seek forgiveness. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: “Our children are biologically wired to connect with us. We’ve just got to make sure we don’t get in the way of that.” RESOURCES MENTIONED: The Parenting Revolution – Dr Justin Coulson’s latest book Happy Families School Membership – For parent engagement and wellbeing resources ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Plan nothing. Take one evening this week to leave the agenda behind. Go for a walk, sit together, be still. Check in deeply. Ask one of your kids: “What’s been hard for you lately?” And listen—fully. Apologise when needed. If your child opens up about hurt or resentment, resist the urge to defend. Acknowledge their truth and offer a sincere, humble “I’m sorry.” Model forgiveness and grace. Let your children see that love doesn’t require perfection—just connection and accountability. Strengthen the bond. Say “yes” to spontaneous togetherness. It might become a memory your child cherishes forever.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Last week Justin and Kylie discussed Chappell Roan's recent claim that everyone she knows who has kids is miserable. Listen to episode #1245 - Mothers & Happiness In light of this, we thought we'd replay episode #1072 - an interview with journalist Angela Mollard about an article where she asked if parenting needs a PR job. The link to that article is in the notes below. Journalist Angela Mollard writes that "[a]n age of confession and vulnerability has seen parenting rebranded as a challenging, joyless, expensive, and freedom-sapping decision. They forgot the awesome bits." On the podcast today, Angela chats with Justing about finding the joy in parenting, the importance of perspective and gratitude, and why we must speak of the great parts of parenthood—because although parenting is hard, it's absolutely worth it! In this episode: The vulnerabilities VS the joys of parenting Parenting needs a PR job? Blame the mummy bloggers | Angela Mollard | The Daily Telegraph Finding fulfilment in parenting Generational differences Gratitude Look for the 'glimmers' every day #148 Flecks of Gold Perspective Being present What Your Child Needs From You by Dr Justin Coulson (use coupon code SPRING15 for a sneaky discount! Ends 6/5/24) Related links: Parenting Made Easy(er) Unplugging Parenthood (and being present!) Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership NEW weekly kids’ ‘Print & Play’ subscription FELT (Fostering Emotional Learning Together) Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletterSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ADHD is now the most diagnosed condition among Australian children under 14, and anxiety tops the list for teens. In this important episode, Dr Justin Coulson speaks with clinical psychologist Dr Jaimie Northam about the rise in childhood mental health challenges, the role of early intervention, and how parents can meaningfully support their kids. From understanding the signs to cutting through the online overwhelm, this conversation provides practical tools, gentle encouragement, and hope for families navigating tough seasons. KEY POINTS: ADHD and anxiety are rising dramatically among Australian children and teens. Family stress and digital distractions impact parent-child connection more than screen time itself. The three D’s to watch for: Distress, Dysfunction, and Deviation from typical development. A simple 10-minute connection with your child can dramatically improve behaviour and emotional resilience. Early mental health challenges often persist if left unaddressed — but early intervention can prevent long-term impact. Overexposure to conflicting parenting advice online can add to parental stress and confusion. Evidence-based strategies should fit both the child and the family — even among credible experts, one size does not fit all. The Growing Minds Check-In is a free, research-backed tool to assess your child’s wellbeing and get tailored support. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:“Half of all child mental health problems emerge before age twelve — and many become lifelong if we don’t act early.” — Dr Jaimie Northam RESOURCES MENTIONED: Growing Minds Check-In Study — growingmindscheckin.au Dr Jaimie Northam (University of Sydney) – Clinical psychologist and researcher happyfamilies.com.au – Parenting resources and support ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Use the Growing Minds Check-In: In just six minutes, assess your child’s wellbeing and receive customised recommendations. Schedule 10 minutes of ‘special time’ daily to connect with your child on their terms — no agenda, just play. Watch for the 3 D’s: Distress, Dysfunction, and Deviation — and seek early support if you notice any. Filter online advice carefully: Prioritise approaches that are research-backed, clearly explained, and suited to your child’s needs. Model self-regulation: If you’re too tired to engage well, set a respectful boundary — and follow through with connection later. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Liking Gap: Why Your Kids Are More Likable Than They Think Have you ever walked away from a conversation thinking you totally bombed it—only to find out later that the other person actually liked you? This “liking gap” is more common than you think, especially in kids. In this Doctor’s Desk episode, Justin and Kylie explore fascinating new research about why we often underestimate how much others enjoy our company. They share insights from a large study on self-esteem, anxiety, and likability, and unpack what it all means for our children and their friendships. Plus, a personal story about Kylie’s first meeting with Justin’s mum that perfectly illustrates how wrong our first impressions can be. KEY POINTS: The liking gap is the psychological tendency to believe others like us less than they actually do. Low self-esteem and high social anxiety can amplify this gap, especially in children and teens. Real-world data shows most people are more accepted and liked than they realize. Kylie shares a vulnerable story about feeling disliked by Justin’s mum—which turned out to be the opposite of the truth. Kids need to feel safe, heard, and valued in their interactions to close the liking gap. Teaching children to focus on quality interaction over perceived popularity helps reduce relational anxiety. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:“Your child walks away from interactions feeling like they’ve bombed—when in reality, they’ve probably scored and they don’t even know it.” RESOURCES MENTIONED: Study by Sugani, Sarah et al. at the University of Toronto on self-esteem, anxiety, and the liking gap Misconnection by Dr. Justin Coulson – insights from teenage girls on friendships Visit happyfamilies.com.au for additional resources ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Normalise the Liking Gap: Help your child understand that it's common to underestimate how much others like us. Boost Their Confidence: Support self-esteem by validating their feelings and encouraging their voice at home. Assume Positive Intent: Teach your kids to give others the benefit of the doubt rather than jumping to negative conclusions. Shift the Focus: Encourage your children to concentrate on meaningful interactions rather than worrying about how they're perceived. Model Vulnerability: Share your own stories of mistaken assumptions about being liked to show they're not alone. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Three powerful takeaways from our Easter holidays—lessons about mindset, risk, and meaningful connection. From a life-changing mindset shift at the Easter Show to a serious accident that reinforced the importance of risky play, plus a week without screens that revealed what kids really crave, this episode is packed with insight and inspiration for every parent. KEY POINTS: Mindset shapes experience: The same event can feel completely different when approached with a different attitude and realistic expectations. Risky play matters: Children need opportunities to push boundaries and take risks—it builds resilience, courage, and learning, even when things go wrong. Time is everything: What kids really want from us isn’t perfection—it’s time. Unplugging from screens and slowing down creates space for meaningful reflection and connection. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:“What our kids actually want and need… is just time.” RESOURCES MENTIONED: Explore–Explain–Empower framework (Justin Coulson) happyfamilies.com.au ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Check your mindset before heading into family events—set realistic expectations and choose connection over control. Encourage age-appropriate risk-taking (e.g., climbing trees, riding bikes)—it builds confidence and independence. Unplug regularly—create time and space for quiet reflection and intentional connection with your children. Give each child individual attention—consider what they uniquely need from you right now. Practice being present—ditch the schedule and just be with your kids, without distraction. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dr Justin Coulson is one of Australia’s most trusted parenting experts and the founder of happyfamilies.com.au Pete had a 15-minute chat with Justin and if you’re a parent, I highly recommend having a listen.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Is your child struggling with empathy, social skills, or thinking beyond their own wants? In this episode, Justin and Kylie Coulson tackle a question from a concerned parent about an 8-year-old who seems self-centred, struggles with friendships, and resists considering others' feelings. They break down key strategies to foster empathy, encourage connection, and navigate discipline without frustration. KEY POINTS: Why some children seem more self-focused than others. The role of personality, temperament, and developmental differences. The importance of listening over excessive explaining. Why "I don’t care" is often a defence mechanism. How to move from reactive discipline to problem-solving. The power of calm conversations outside of emotional moments. PERSONAL STORIES SHARED: Justin and Kylie reflect on their own parenting experiences, discussing how their children perceive and react to situations differently despite growing up in the same household. Insights from psychology on why siblings raised in the same family can have vastly different emotional and social responses. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: "High emotions equal low intelligence. When kids (and parents) are emotionally heightened, it's not the time for lessons—it's time for connection." RESOURCES MENTIONED: The Three E’s of Effective Discipline (Explore, Explain, and Empower) The Happy Families website for parenting resources ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Observe and Listen—Instead of immediately correcting, try to understand why your child is acting this way. Create Calm Connection Moments—Have relaxed conversations over a treat to discuss social skills and feelings. Encourage Small Acts of Kindness—Model and praise thoughtful behaviour rather than just pointing out what's wrong. Use Open-Ended Questions—Instead of "Would you like it if someone did that to you?" Try "What do you think happened in that situation?" Be patient—growth in empathy and social awareness takes time. Stay consistent and supportive. It's easy to send us a question! Email podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au or use the super simple voice memo system at the Happy Families website. Find us on Facebook at Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Why do so many girls and women feel like they’re never “enough” when it comes to their appearance? In this powerful episode, Dr. Renee Engeln, author of Beauty Sick, joins Justin Coulson to explore the deep-rooted cultural obsession with beauty that shapes how girls and women see themselves. From five-year-olds already worrying about dieting to teens tying their self-worth to their looks, we discuss how self-objectification, social media, and unrealistic beauty standards impact mental health and self-esteem—and, more importantly, how we can help the next generation break free from beauty sickness. KEY POINTS: How self-objectification starts young—why even five-year-olds worry about their bodies. The role of social media in reinforcing beauty standards and distorting self-worth. Why puberty makes body image issues worse for girls while often benefiting boys. The pressures of perfection on women—from “mum jeans” to Botox and beyond. The hidden costs of beauty obsession—lost time, lost opportunities, and lifelong insecurity. How parents unintentionally reinforce body image struggles (and how to change that). The power of focusing on what bodies can do, rather than how they look. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: "We may no longer play dress-ups and pose in front of the mirror like young girls do, but I worry that’s only because we’ve internalised that mirror—we never actually left it behind." – Dr. Renee Engeln RESOURCES MENTIONED: Beauty Sick: How the Cultural Obsession with Appearance Hurts Girls and Women by Dr. Renee Engeln Dr. Engeln’s TEDx Talk The End of Average by Todd Rose Beauty Sick Website—More on Dr. Engeln’s research Happy Families Website—Parenting resources Enough: A Session for Young Girls [Webinar] The Miss-Connection Summit [On sale!] ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Create an “appearance-free” zone at home—focus conversations on interests, achievements, and values, not looks. Model self-acceptance—avoid negative self-talk about your own body in front of your kids. Encourage body functionality—celebrate what bodies can do, like running, dancing, creating, and learning. Audit social media—help your child follow diverse, inspiring accounts rather than beauty-focused ones. Talk about the beauty industry’s influence—help kids see how companies profit from insecurities. Give your teen a cause—channel their energy into fighting beauty standards, rather than succumbing to them. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today's episode is taken from the Happy Families Bringing Up Boys Summit. Dr Arne Rubinstein is the author of The Making of Men, and discusses with Justin the idea of a boys “rite of passage”. Get the Bringing Up Boys Summit for $99 (50% off) until March 31st, 2025. The Miss-Connection Summit is also available for $99 until March 31st, 2025. Find us on Facebook at Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families Email us your questions and comments at podcasts@happyfamilies.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This morning, Tanya and Steve had the privilege of speaking with renowned parenting expert and psychologist, Dr. Justin Coulson, about his thoughts on the new Netflix show Adolescence. Dr. Coulson delves into the importance of raising boys to be strong, compassionate men who understand the value of protecting and supporting those around them. In this insightful conversation, he shares his expert advice on how to guide children through the complexities of modern life, especially in the digital age, where influences and pressures are constantly evolving. Listen as Justin shares personal stories, practical tips, and a fresh perspective on how to nurture healthy, well-rounded boys in today’s world!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Every conflict between children involves two participants, not one. Breaking the destructive cycle requires recognising your child's role in the drama. Meanwhile, a little sweet talking can transform how your teen receives disappointing news, proving that tone matters more than content when communicating with kids. Discover how thoughtful delivery of bad news and understanding conflict cycles can revolutionise your family relationships. Quote of the Episode: "What we say matters a lot less than how we say it." - Justin Coulson Key Points: How you deliver bad news to children significantly impacts their response and your relationship. Showing empathy and consideration demonstrates understanding and improves children's receptiveness. Ongoing conflicts between children create a "vicious circle" that needs conscious intervention to break. Teaching children to recognise their contribution to conflict cycles is essential for resolution. Children can learn to break the cycle by either changing their emotional response or changing their behavioural response. You can only control your own actions in a conflict, not the other person's. Helping children take ownership of their part in conflicts builds emotional intelligence. Breaking conflict cycles is a skill that benefits children throughout their lives. Resources Mentioned: "10 Things Every Parent Needs to Know" by Justin Coulson (contains detailed information on breaking conflict cycles) Happy Families Action Steps for Parents: When delivering bad news, use a considerate tone and show empathy ("sweet talking") to soften the blow. Draw the "vicious circle" with your child to help them visualise their role in conflict cycles. Discuss two ways to break the cycle: changing emotional responses or changing behavioural responses. Have these teaching conversations during calm moments, not during active conflicts. Remember that breaking conflict patterns takes time and consistent practice. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ever cringed at a recording of your own voice? Imagine watching your daily parenting played back on video. In this raw and honest episode, Dr Justin Coulson shares how a humbling surfing experience revealed the game-changing power of self-awareness in parenting. Discover why 95% of parents think they're self-aware (but only 10-15% actually are), and learn the three practical steps to close your own self-awareness gap. Warning: might involve some uncomfortable truths! Quote of the Episode: "Sometimes our most uncomfortable moments of self-awareness become our greatest opportunities for transformation." Key Insights: Only 10-15% of people are truly self-aware, despite 95% thinking they are Self-aware parents show improved emotional awareness of themselves and their children Video feedback leads to significant improvements in parenting behaviours Small, focused improvements are more effective than trying to fix everything at once Regular feedback and reflection are crucial for growth Self-awareness impacts relationship quality with children The gap between perceived and actual parenting skills often requires objective feedback Incremental improvements lead to sustainable change Resources Mentioned: Tasha Eurich's research on self-awareness Research on video feedback in parenting Happy Families Action Steps for Parents: Create Your Own "Surf Video Moment" Record interactions with children Ask for specific feedback from family members Be prepared for initial discomfort Ask the "What's One Thing?" Question Seek specific, focused feedback daily Make improvements manageable Focus on one area at a time Practice Daily Reflection Spend 5 minutes journaling each evening Note one positive interaction and one area for improvement Track progress over time See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Does Christmas gift-giving feel more like a burden than a joy as you try to find a balance between gift-giving and avoiding entitlement? Dr. Justin Coulson and Kylie discuss how to preserve the magic of the season while avoiding the trap of indulgence and entitlement. In this episode: Finding perspective Reflecting on the true meaning of Christmas Having zero agenda—relationships, games, joyful moments What to do when Christmas is hard Focusing on others—emphasising giving, kindness, and family traditions over materialism The Secret to Happiness? Giving.—Elizabeth Dunn research Related Links: How to Unspoil your Kids this Christmas [Webinar] Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dr. Justin Coulson is co-host of a prime-time television show in Australia called Parental Guidance where he provides expert parenting advice. He is the founder of happyfamilies.com.au and the Happy Families podcast. He earned his doctorate in psychology from the University of Wollongong.I wanted to speak to Justin to hear how the Gospel has influenced his work and family as a leading parenting expert.Some highlights from this episode include how to help a child navigate a faith crisis, how Justin got into parenting after being a radio DJ, and why being still is so important in parenting.--You can find more of Justin's work at the following links:- https://www.instagram.com/drjustincoulson/?hl=en- https://justincoulson.com/- https://happyfamilies.com.au/Follow For All The Saints on social media for updates and inspiring content:www.instagram.com/forallthesaintspodhttps://www.facebook.com/forallthesaintspod/For All The Saints episodes are released every Monday on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts and more:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVDUQg_qZIU&list=UULFFf7vzrJ2LNWmp1Kl-c6K9Qhttps://open.spotify.com/show/3j64txm9qbGVVZOM48P4HS?si=bb31d048e05141f2https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/for-all-the-saints/id1703815271If you have feedback or any suggestions for topics or guests, connect with Ben & Sean via hello@forallthesaints.org or DM on InstagramConversations to Refresh Your Faith.For All The Saints podcast was established in 2023 by Ben Hancock to express his passion and desire for more dialogue around faith, religious belief, and believers' perspectives on the topics of our day. Tune into For All The Saints every Monday on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and more.Follow For All The Saints on social media for daily inspiration.

Are we giving kids the equivalent of car keys to a digital world they're not prepared to navigate? In this episode, Dr. Justin Coulson and guest Matt Purcell dive into the complex issue of kids and social media. From the psychological toll it takes on young users to the uphill battle parents face in managing screen time, we explore practical solutions and innovative tools like 'Social Kung Fu' to empower families and to protect our children.  In this episode: Impact of social media on youth mental health Age restrictions for social media Balancing online independence & safety Forming alliances among families (The Heads Up Alliance, Unplug Childhood) Algorithms Holding social media accountable Social Kung Fu - equipping kids with verbal & cyber self-defence skills Code of conduct with devices Related Links: 5 Ways to Set Screen Time Limits With Your Children Unplugged Parenthood: Reducing Screen Time to Strengthen Family Connections The Screen Smart Series Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Raising a neurodivergent child can feel like an uphill battle, especially within a rigid school system. In this episode, Dr. Justin Coulson, along with Madonna King and Rebecca Sparrow, share essential strategies for empowering neurodivergent children and offer hope to parents navigating this challenging path. In this episode: Out of the Box: A Guide to Navigating Neurodivergence by Madonna King and Rebecca Sparrow Common struggles of ND kids Undiagnosed girls Masking & camouflaging Lack of training & resources in schools 3 basic psychological needs Parent-school partnerships Homeschooling Tips for ND kids starting a new school Related Links: Supporting Autistic Children [The Course]  Help For The ADHD Parent Championing Neurodiversity Webinar One-Minute Wellbeing: Fifty Quick Tips for Educators  Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The secret ingredient every child craves for feeling loved and understood is their parent's undivided time and attention ("love is spelt T.I.M.E"). Discover why making small sacrifices in your busy schedule to connect with your kids can have a profound impact on your relationship with them and help foster moments of genuine closeness. In this episode: Halloween Fathers of Girls QLD politics & corporal punishment Kylie's riding, Justin's writing Making time for the things that matter most Intentional connection Don't miss the final intake for our Supporting Autistic Children Course with Dr Justin Coulson & Dr Joey Lawrence Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Halloween can be an equal mix of excitement for the kids and chaos for parents, right? And finding a balance between our children's desire for independence (to have fun, to explore, and to eat ALL the sugar) whilst maintaining a sense of safety is a challenge. We share some practical tips to help make Halloween meaningful for your family, from building community connections to teaching social skills, plus some fun twists on the classic trick-or-treat!

Are the classic birth order stereotypes of the responsible eldest, the overlooked middle child, and the free-spirited youngest really grounded in science—or are we just buying into myths? Join us as we unpack the surprising research behind these family labels and discover what truly shapes your child's personality, beyond their place in the sibling lineup. In this episode: Birth order stereotypes What your sibling birth order does—and doesn't—explain | VOX Birth Order Theory - Alfred Adler Gender roles & family dynamics Family size, age gaps, & unique circumstances Confirmation bias Personality traits & birth order Avoiding rigid labels Supporting Autistic Children Course with Dr Justin Coulson & Dr Joey Lawrence Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Three news stories for 'This Week in Parenting': Is your phone getting in the way of quality time with your kids? Research shows that when parents are glued to their devices, children are more likely to struggle with anxiety, depression, and attention issues! A proposal to replace team sports with yoga and pilates in Victorian schools raises concerns about the balance between physical activity and academic focus. Plus, why homeschooling is booming in QLD! In this episode: Parents Distracted By Smartphones Linked To Higher Anxiety In Kids | Forbes Negative impact on child development Being intentional with screen use Feeling seen, heard & valued Private schools ditch footy for yoga in APS shake-up  | Herald Sun Mindfulness Team sports & competition Sedentary learning Home-schooling explosion in Qld fed by bullied children | The Courier Mail Related Links: #1107 - This Week in Parenting: Roblox Hell & Parental Health Hazards  Our Phones Are Wrecking Us Supporting Autistic Children Course with Dr Justin Coulson & Dr Joey Lawrence Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When a child is upset or angry, it's easy to think their outburst is about the immediate problem. The real challenge for parents is identifying the deeper emotions driving these reactions. Kylie shares a conversation with her daughter that started as a fight over Roblox but ended with heartfelt tears over friendship struggles. By taking the time to talk with our kids, we can help them uncover the true reasons behind their strong feelings. In this episode: Play dates & Roblox 14 reasons why.... Homeschooling  Need for connection Hindenburg Research: Roblox Roblox - a tool for sexual predators The 3 Es of Effective Discipline: Explore, Explain, and Empower Related Links:  Keeping kids safe on Roblox  Why Your Kids Need a Tribe Supporting Autistic Children Course with Dr Justin Coulson & Dr Joey Lawrence Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The meltdown out of nowhere, an angry and aggressive child, the emotionally flooded teen - kids of all ages have BIG emotions, and experience emotional dysregulation! Discover the tools and skills that will help you respond to your child with compassion and kindness - and build emotional awareness and regulation for you both. (R) This episode originally aired 17/10/23. Topics in this episode: No Matter What Emotion regulation  The magic of Nature Moving forward, finding solutions Responding with compassion and gentleness Emotion Coaching- a Happy Families article  Little People, Big Feelings - a Happy Families webinar  The Secret to Regulating Emotions - a Happy Families article Find us on Facebook at Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families Email us your questions and comments at podcasts@happyfamilies.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Journalist Angela Pollard writes that "[a]n age of confession and vulnerability has seen parenting rebranded as a challenging, joyless, expensive, and freedom-sapping decision. They forgot the awesome bits." On the podcast today, Angela chats with Justing about finding the joy in parenting, the importance of perspective and gratitude, and why we must speak of the great parts of parenthood—because although parenting is hard, it's absolutely worth it! In this episode: The vulnerabilities VS the joys of parenting Parenting needs a PR job? Blame the mummy bloggers | Angela Mollard | The Daily Telegraph Finding fulfilment in parenting Generational differences Gratitude Look for the 'glimmers' every day #148 Flecks of Gold Perspective  Being present What Your Child Needs From You by Dr Justin Coulson (use coupon code SPRING15 for a sneaky discount! Ends 6/5/24) Related links: Parenting Made Easy(er) Unplugging Parenthood (and being present!) Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership  NEW weekly kids' ‘Print & Play' subscription FELT (Fostering Emotional Learning Together) Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletterSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's Father's Day in Australia this weekend!To celebrate we spoke to Dr Justin Coulson about Bandit's parenting style, and the importance of a positive role model for dads being portrayed on our TV screens.Dr Justin Coulson is the founder of Happy Families, host of the Happy Families Podcast, has six daughters, has written a stack of books on parenting, and is also the parenting expert on Channel 9's 'Parental Guidance'.Bluey's Brisbane is the podcast that explores the real life world of your favourite Heeler family.Hosted by Justin Rouillon and Lou Bromley - follow us on Facebook and Instagram - @blueysbrisbaneEmail us at blueysbrisbane@gmail.com with with your thoughts, comments or questions.

Regret is often seen as a negative emotion to be avoided, but what if it holds the key to better parenting? Dr Justin Coulson and  author Dan Pink uncover the surprising ways regret can teach us valuable lessons, helping us to be kinder, more thoughtful parents, and ultimately, better people. Topics included in this episode – The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward, by Daniel Pink Why do people say that they don't have regrets? Your regrets say a lot about you as a person Your regrets can inform your future decisions Reframing regret Inward, outward, forward “At-least”ing and “if-only”ing Dan's advice for time poor parents Normalising the emotion of regret Talk to your kids about your regrets Dan shares some of his regrets  (R) This episode originally aired 2/11/22. . Related links:  Learn more about Dan Pink & his books #570 Do Over - What Would You Change If You Could? . Last chance to register for the Supporting Autistic Children course Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It is not worth going to war with your child over their preferences. There are going to be more important issues that will require you to stand your ground. These moments can end in a full-blown battle with your child, or by reframing the conversation, you can work through these tough issues, avoiding conflict while still keeping your kids healthy and safe. Listen in to find out how! (R) This episode originally aired 6/6/22. Topics discussed in today's podcast: Common fights parents have with children Sleeping, eating Friends, parties, sleepovers Social media, alcohol & drugs, intimacy, pornography, dress Conflict is normal Is your child's safety at risk? Control and power struggles Conversations without conflict Justin's ladder metaphor Prioritising relationship Preferences vs. principles . Related links:  Winning the “Gaming” Battle with our Boys – and Taking our Parenting to the Next Level Eat Right Without a Fight [eBook] Should We be Giving our Teens Alcohol? Whose House Rules? . Register for the Supporting Autistic Children course with Dr Joey Lawrence and Dr Justin Coulson. Doors close July 8. Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

How can we help our children become better learners? When learning is seen as a process of creating abilities rather than discovering abilities, children can embrace challenges as opportunities for growth instead of avoiding them due to fear of failure. James Anderson and Justin Coulson explore how parents can help children leave their comfort zone and step into their learning zone, to understand that struggle and discomfort are natural and temporary parts of the learning journey and that investing effort results in hard things becoming easy.  (R)  This episode originally aired 27/7/22. In today's episode: #529 The Growth Mindset with James Anderson Learnership Mindset – fixed vs growth. Lifelong learners, performance learners, non-learners Finding and following your strengths Choosing what you want to become Learning zones Comfort zone – easy things you haven't done yet You don't get better by doing your best Effort is the cost of growth That which we persist in doing becomes easier to do, not that the nature of the thing has changed but that our power to do has increased.”― Ralph Waldo Emerson . Related links:  Learn more about James Anderson – LEARNERSHIP: The Skill Of Learning The Most Powerful Words We Can Say to Our Children . Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au Find out more about joining THE QUEST at our websiteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Life can be really challenging for neurodivergent kids growing up in a world where they don't seem to fit in. Justin speaks with two authors about their fabulous books, and why representation in literature is so important for our children. Square Me, Round World by Chelsea Luker is a collection of short stories describing what life can feel like when you are a person growing up in a world not built for you and Wonderfully Wired by Stacey Lucas-Toumbourou celebrates the strengths and differences of 100 neurodivergent individuals who changed the world In this episode: Square Me, Round World, by Chelsea Luker | Booktopia The importance of representation Raising neurodivergent children Wonderfully Wired, by Stacey Lucas-Toumbourou Related links: Championing Neurodiversity: Helping Your Child Thrive in a Neurotypical World [Webinar] 'Supporting Autistic Children: Nurturing Neurodiversity' with Dr Justin Coulson & Dr Joey Lawrence [The Course] Parenting an ADHD Child 7 Insights for Parents of Autistic Children | Chris Bonnello Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au Find out more about joining THE QUEST at our website  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When they're little, our kids idolise us. Then, they become teenagers and start to push us away, refusing to chat and rolling their eyes.What can parents do to stay connected, when suddenly you're no longer the Taylor Swift or Drake of your teen's life? And why do they pull away from us in the first place?Dr Justin Coulson joins Bec Sparrow to explain what is going on, and gives tips on how to stay close to your teenager.(PS If you have a trick on how you have managed to stay connected, we'd love to hear them for a special episode we're working on. Send us a voice note or email us at teens@abc.net.au)The advice in this podcast is general and does not consider your personal situation. If you require further advice specific to your needs, please consult a professional. Guest: Dr Justin CoulsonProducers: Hannah Reich, Josie Sargent Supervising Producer: Tamar CranswickExecutive Producer: Alex LollbackSound design: Ann-Marie de Bettencor

Social media may be a mixed bag of silly videos, news and feel good moments. It can also be an online village for parents.  This week Libby and Tegan share their favourite parenting influencers who have helped them feel seen and heard... as well as giving them a good old cackle.  Plus a competition hack has sparked the interest of our olympian mum Libby. And in nails and fails Tegan is proud of both the boys in her life!  THE END BITS  Here are the amazing parenting influencers we mentioned: Maggie Dent, Rebecca Sparrow, Lael Stone, Dr Justin Coulson, Amy Gerard, Chrissy Teigen, Canna Campbell, Jimmy Rees, Recommendations Tell us what you really think so we can give you more of what you really want. Fill out this survey and you'll go in the running to win one of five $100 gift vouchers. Subscribe to Mamamia We've compiled all the best resources for new mums in a free newsletter. Join the mailing list. GET IN TOUCH: Feedback? We're listening! Send us a voice message, email us at tgm@mamamia.com.au or send a message to the Mamamia Family Instagram. CREDITS: Host: Tegan Natoli & Libby Trickett  Producer: Grace Rouvray Audio Producer: Scott Stronach Mamamia acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the Land we have recorded this podcast on, the Gadigal people of the Eora Nation. We pay our respects to their Elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures.Become a Mamamia subscriber: https://www.mamamia.com.au/subscribeSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The meltdown out of nowhere, an angry and aggressive child, the emotionally flooded teen - kids of all ages have BIG emotions, and experience emotional dysregulation! Discover the tools and skills that will help you respond to your child with compassion and kindness - and build emotional awareness and regulation for you both. Topics in this episode: No Matter What Emotion regulation  The magic of Nature Moving forward, finding solutions Responding with compassion and gentleness Emotion Coaching- a Happy Families article  Little People, Big Feelings - a Happy Families webinar  The Secret to Regulating Emotions - a Happy Families article Find us on Facebook at Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families Email us your questions and comments at podcasts@happyfamilies.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Part 2 of Justin speaking with author & associate Professor Katie Davis about her new book Topics discussed in this episode -  Technology's Child by Katie Davis Justin asks Katie some rapid fire questions about her own family life Using technology to reinforce technology rules Finding a balance Video games aren't all bad The impact of social media Further reading/watching: Screens And Our Boys - a Happy Families Article 5 Better Conversations To Have About Screens - a Happy Families Article Keeping your child focused on study and away from social media - a Happy Families Article Tweens, Teens & Screens - a Happy Families Webinar Digital Kids - a Happy Families Article Find us on Facebook at Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families Email us your questions and comments at podcasts@happyfamilies.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You CAN be a "good-enough" digital parent! Two questions every parent needs to ask when choosing apps or games for their child PLUS learn how to guide your child's relationship with screens in the best direction - guilt free! (Replay) Topics discussed in this episode -  Technology's Child: Digital Media's Role in the Ages and Stages of Growing Up - by Katie Davis What are the risks for children under 3? Why are screens so compelling to kids? Using screens as the default "fix"  Why screens are such an effective regulator (emotionally and behaviorally) Executive functioning and self-regulation 'Bottom-up' vs top-down' process of attention "Educational" apps - red flags Sign up for Katie's newsletter here Find us on Facebook at Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families Email us your questions and comments at podcasts@happyfamilies.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Friendships are oxygen for girls! When a friendship sours, the mean girls arrive, or your daughter just can't find her tribe, life can be really hard. We share some powerful ideas to help your child navigate friend troubles - giving them options and building resilience. Topics included in this episode - The difference between boy & girl play Boys use their bodies, girls use their words Optionality equals resilience  Autonomy, and feeling seen, heard and valued When should the school get involved? Avoidance reinforces anxiety Things you can you do to help your daughter Why Your Kids Need a Tribe - a Happy Families article Miss-Connection | 7 Day Connection Challenge – Happy Families   Find us on Facebook at Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families Email us your questions and comments at podcasts@happyfamilies.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Part 2 of a conversation on perfectionism with Professor Thomas Curran from the London School of Economics. Rather than expecting perfection from your child try modelling making mistakes - embrace failure and setbacks when they arise. This (not perfectionism) is what leads to success! Topics in this episode: Feeling that you are not enough The rise of perfectionism – and the harm it's doing us all | Mental health | The Guardian Link between perfectionism and psychological distress Parental/societal expectations Increased competition and excessive pressure "Doing your best" - is this helpful? Self-sabotage, procrastination and avoidance of failure  What is success? The Perfection Trap Thomas Curran's new book   Find us on Facebook at Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families Email us your questions and comments at podcasts@happyfamilies.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Professor Thomas Curran is (among many impressive titles) a 'perfectionist expert'. He unpacks the 'what, why, where, who, and how' of perfectionism in part 1 of this compelling discussion with Dr Justin Coulson. Part 2 of this conversation can be found here. Today's conversation covers: What is perfectionism? The link between mental health challenges and perfectionism Perfectionism in children - genetics or environmental? The 3 types of perfectionism Intergenerational transmission of perfectionistic tendencies The challenging cycle of self-defeat The Perfection Trap Thomas Curran's new book TEDMED - Our dangerous obsession with perfectionism is getting worse   Find us on Facebook at Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families Email us your questions and comments at podcasts@happyfamilies.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode, Jethro talks with James Anderson, who has been on the show three previous times: The Learner Agency Model with James Anderson Transformative Principal 351Learnership with James Anderson Transformative Principal 455 Learnership: The Skill of Learning with James Anderson Transformative Principal 570 In this episode, we talk about teaching cultures and learning cultures, take a sidewalk into some deep thoughts about moral development, and finish with a bang. Do you have a sense of power and that you get to choose what you do in your life?Agency makes you the master of your circumstances, not the victim. Voice and Choice lip servicePower to choose vs. permission to choose. Agency is an outcome, not a pedagogy. There are some things we don't have agency - the student needs to change and be capable over something that they weren't capable of it before. Learning culture vs. teaching culture. Default ways we go about learning - teaching and performing. Learning is not the product of teaching, but the product of the activity of learners - John HoltTeacher doing all the heavy lifting in the classroom. Kids were coming to school to watch her work. Kids had been learning, but hadn't yet become learners. Diagnostic tool to determine the level of learnership. Where kids are at in their own learning. Clear snapshot of where learners are at. Hidden Potential by Adam GrantTwo sides of the same coin. Character development or learnership are two sides of the same coin. Where habits of mind fit in the bigger picture. Teaching content, thinking models, within the context of good moral dimensions. How developing disposition is vital and important. Teachers are too busy “saving kids” from the challenges they are facing. Helping kids become creatures of discomfort. Help kids be safe while climbing, not taking away the opportunity to climb. Torvill and Dean - figure skating. So much more fun. If the results aren't there, the teachers get the blame. It's not up to me, it's up to the learners. We've each got a role to play. Eduardo Briceño Performance ParadoxLearnship matrix shows them what it looks like. Expertise has a rich language to describe their area of expertise. Rich language of teaching, but impoverished language of learning. Teachers are expert teachers, but they are not expert learners. People become adequate and then they stop growing. Stop growing, start performing. Teachers may not have needed to be effective learners for a long time. Creatures of discomfort. About James Anderson James Anderson is a prominent Australian-based international speaker, author, and educator deeply committed to enhancing our capacity for effective learning. Central to his philosophy is the "Mindset Continuum," an extension of Carol Dweck's groundbreaking work on Growth Mindsets, providing practical tools to cultivate a profound understanding of ourselves as learners. His notable concept of Learnership, raising the status of learning from an act to an art, offers a powerful framework to comprehend and enhance our engagement in the learning process, ultimately helping schools to create the paradigm shift that is needed.With a rich background as a teacher and school leader, James has spent the past two decades collaborating with schools to create more thoughtful learning environments. He challenges educators to critically reflect on their own Mindsets and how these beliefs are subtly communicated to students, offering tangible strategies beyond clichés to instigate genuine shifts in learners' mindsets.James places immense value on the relationships he establishes with the schools and teachers he engages with, providing sustained support and follow-through often absent in professional development. Demonstrating the impact of his approach, a three-year partnership with Asquith Girls High School in Sydney led to students displaying increased persistence, embracing challenges, and teachers setting higher expectations. This comprehensive program was acknowledged as a finalist in the 2022 Australian Education Awards.As a Certified Speaking Professional and Certified Virtual Presenter, James frequently presents at global conferences, in both physical and virtual formats. His work has gained recognition in prominent publications like The Age and Sydney Morning Herald, as well as in popular educational and parenting podcasts such as Dr. Justin Coulson's Happy Families, Jethro Jones' Transformative Principal, and Renee Jain's Confident Child Summit.James's diverse body of work includes previous publications like Succeeding with Habits of Mind, The Agile Learner, and The Learning Landscape, alongside various e-books and teaching resources. His latest book, Learnership, raising the status of learning from an act to an art in your school, is set to become the book that every teacher will be talking about. Additionally, he offers online courses like the Growth Mindset Master Class and Learnership - the skill of Learning, which support educators globally. He holds a consulting role with Art Costa and Bena Kallick's Institute for Habits of Mind and is affiliated with the Habits of Mind Profile Tool. His extensive contributions have significantly impacted the field of education, propelling the art of learning and shaping more adept and empowered learners. We're thrilled to be sponsored by IXL. IXL's comprehensive teaching and learning platform for math, language arts, science, and social studies is accelerating achievement in 95 of the top 100 U.S. school districts. Loved by teachers and backed by independent research from Johns Hopkins University, IXL can help you do the following and more:Simplify and streamline technologySave teachers' timeReliably meet Tier 1 standardsImprove student performance on state assessments

Navigating the complexities of tween and teen friendships can be challenging, especially in the age of social media. Here are some insights and tips to help your child run towards wonderful friendships rather than living in fear of exclusion. Topics in this episode: Sleepovers Bulling and teasing Snapchat and social media Structured activities and finite time for teenage get-togethers Miss Connection: Why your teenage daughter "hates" you, expects the world, and needs to talk by Dr Justin Coulson What teenage girls worry about most Conversations to have with your child BMX - Be More Exceptional Find us on Facebook at Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families Email us your questions and comments at podcasts@happyfamilies.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Every young person needs to have a close, significant adult to talk to when they experience challenges in life. Sadly, new research has revealed that far too many adolescents do not feel listened to and aren't speaking to anyone when they're worried. Dr Katrina Lines (CEO of Act for Kids, and registered psychologist) shares some simple ways to connect with your child that will encourage them to share their problems with you. Topics in this episode: Speaking to a professional Act for Kids Campaign "Get Comfy Switching ON by Switching OFF"  - all the research stats, tip sheets and an animation Incidental conversation or "small talk" Being present Connection  Pressures of school, friendships, social media 3 basic psychological needs Mental health issues - anxiety, depression, poor sleep Fear of parental criticism or dismissal, or not being listened to   Enough: Overcoming Anxiety, Perfectionism, & Self Loathing - a Happy Families article Find us on Facebook at Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families Email us your questions and comments at podcasts@happyfamilies.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Parent behaviour at children's sporting events can directly impact the child's experience. Thankfully the majority of parents do seem to encourage having fun over putting the pressure on their child to be the best. Journalist Shona Hendley unpacks why sports parents get a bad rap - but are in fact the angels of society. Topics in this episode -  Competitive parents coaching from the side Shona Hedley's article - Taking kids to sport all the time Dedication - time, money, energy Training, competitions, camps, social events, volunteering & more! Why do children drop out of sports early? "Doing your best" vs winning vs simply loving the experience Competence & connection Report cards: grades vs effort The current mental health crisis with young people Government policies and decisions re sport    Find us on Facebook at Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families Email us your questions and comments at podcasts@happyfamilies.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.