Podcasts about Punished

Within traditional educational and parenting paradigms, behaviorist strategies such as token economies, behavior color charts, and positive reinforcement models are frequently treated as standard mechanisms for human development. However, these compliance-driven metrics often collapse under long-term evaluation, obscuring the critical psychological friction they introduce. Alfie Kohn, a prominent educational theorist and author of Punished by Rewards, joins the program to systematically critique the reliance on traditional behavioral modification systems, including school-wide positive behavioral interventions and supports (PBIS). Emily and Alfie break down the critical neurodivergent intersections of these models, explore the hidden psychological cost of praise, and discuss ways of shifting focus away from surface-level behavior modification and toward the collaborative cultivation of student-led problem-solving. TAKEAWAYS Behaviorist interventions like rewards and punishments function as temporary methods of external control rather than sustainable catalysts for authentic development. Extrinsic rewards actively diminish intrinsic motivation by shifting focus away from the task itself and toward the acquisition of the reward. Conditional rewards and continuous verbal praise implicitly communicates that fundamental human worth is tethered to performance and utility. Applied behavioral modification techniques often target observable surface actions while systematically ignoring the underlying physical, emotional, and sensory needs driving those behaviors. Cultivating a child's authentic self-regulation requires shifting from unilateral adult control to active, collaborative decision-making processes. Check out our continuing education courses for educators through our online platform, the Neurodiversity University! Find them here and here. Alfie Kohn is a prominent author, lecturer, and progressive education advocate whose work challenges traditional frameworks in schooling, parenting, and human behavior. He holds a bachelor's degree from Brown University and a master's degree from the University of Chicago. He has authored 14 books, including seminal titles such as Punished by Rewards, The Schools Our Children Deserve, Unconditional Parenting, and The Myth of the Spoiled Child. Described by Time magazine as perhaps the country's most outspoken critic of education's fixation on grades and test scores, Kohn's insights have significantly shaped the practices of educators, parents, and managers worldwide. His work has been profiled in major publications like the Washington Post and the Los Angeles Times, and he has been featured on hundreds of TV and radio programs, including The Today Show and two appearances on Oprah. Based in the Boston area, Kohn lectures extensively at universities, national education conferences, and parent organizations while maintaining his comprehensive digital archive at alfiekohn.org. BACKGROUND READING Alfie's books, website, Twitter/X The Neurodiversity Podcast is on Facebook, Instagram, BlueSky, and you're invited to join our Facebook Group. For more information go to www.NeurodiversityPodcast.com If you'd like members of your organization, school district, or company to know more about the subjects discussed on our podcast, Emily Kircher-Morris provides keynote addresses, workshops, and training sessions worldwide, in-person or virtually. You can choose from a list of established presentations, or work with Emily to develop a custom talk to fit your unique situation. To learn more, visit our website.

In Part 2, the spotlight shifts to the dramatic succession struggle that followed the final days of Dovid Hamelech. The episode begins with Adoniyahu's attempt to seize the throne and the efforts of Beniyahu and other loyalists who remained faithful to Dovid's chosen successor. As the crisis unfolds, Dovid acts decisively, ordering that Shlomo be publicly anointed as king. The podcast explores this historic coronation and the final instructions Dovid delivers to his son, providing guidance on leadership, justice, and the unfinished matters that would shape the future of the kingdom.The second half follows the challenges facing the newly crowned King Shlomo. When Adoniyahu launches another bid for power, Beniyahu is entrusted with carrying out the king's judgment, demonstrating both his loyalty and his willingness to enforce difficult decisions. The episode also examines the banishment of Evyasar HaKohen, marking the end of a priestly dynasty and the fulfillment of earlier prophecies. Finally, attention turns to Yoav, who realizes that his past actions have left him vulnerable under the new regime. Fearing retribution, he flees to the altar seeking refuge, setting the stage for one of the most consequential confrontations of Shlomo's reign and further cementing Beniyahu's role as both guardian of the kingdom and servant of justice.00:00 - Intro00:27 - Rebellion of Adoniyahu08:03 - Beniyahu Ben Yehoyadah and the Loyalists10:08 - Dovid Hamelech has Shlomo Annointed as King18:36 - King Dovid's Final Instructions to King Shlomo21:37 - Adoniyahu Rebels Again26:07 - Adoniyahu is Punished by Beniyahu29:24 - King Shlomo Banishes Evyasar HaKohen35:02 - Yoav Fears King Shlomo and Flees to the Altar

It's a war on the human conscience. Sentencing anti-genocide activists as terrorists. Working to deport mainstream foreign policy experts for criticizing an American war. They're actually punishing people for not acting like sociopaths. Reading by Tim Foley.

UNDRAFTED ALLSTARZ SPORTS SHOW LIVE ON HOT7025FM.COM!- NBA FINALS: Knicks lead series 3-2. - SAS WIN Gm 3; NY fans FIGHT Spurs fans - NYK WIN Gm 4; Wemby Egg'd by NY fans- Stanley' Cup Finals: CAR leads series 3-2 - Mahomes:NFL's Highest-paid QB! 2yr, $240mil ext, totalingv$504.75mil; $64mil/yr- Stefon Diggs: wont be Punished by NFL's Conduct Policy involving his personal chef - WNBA: Aja Wilson: Fastest Ever to 6K pts- MLB Action: Rockies vs. Athletics June 12th -14th at The Las Vegas Ballpark- More Sports & Entertainment NewsTap In.UNDRAFTED ALLSTARZ SPORTS SHOW LIVE ON HOT7025FM.COM!

LOUNGE LIZARDS PRESENTED BY FABRICA5 - Brilliant Honduran Cigars - Visit Fabrica005.com and use code LIZARDPOD at checkout for 10% off THE ENTIRE STORE! Free worldwide shipping from Miami on all orders over $125. See website for more information and terms.SMALL BATCH CIGAR - SAVE 15% - Exclusive Cigar Retail Partner of the Lizards - Visit SmallBatchCigar.com and use code LIZARD15 for 15% off your order. Free shipping and 5% rewards back always. Standard exclusions apply. Simple. Fast. Small Batch Cigar.Recorded at Ten86 Cigars in Hawthorne, New Jersey, the Lizards pair Meerapfel La Estancia 52 Edición Exclusiva with Wild Common Tequila Reposado. The guys try their first-ever cigar of completely unknown origin, they answer a listener email on must-have cigar accessories and they share a voice memo on accessories that are good for air travel.PLUS: Meerapfel History, Cuban Tobacco as a Secret Ingredient, Tobacconist of Greenwich's "Titans of Tobacco" Series, Public Commentary Opens on E.U. Tobacco Laws, Cruise Lines Punished for Cuban Tourism, Cigar Draw Fundamentals, Gizmo Pre-Cuts His Cigars When Traveling & MoreGizmo's Travel Lighter Recommendation: https://amzn.to/4ajajZYJoin the Lounge Lizards for a weekly discussion on all things cigars (both Cuban and non-Cuban), whiskey, food, travel, life and work. This is your formal invitation to join us in a relaxing discussion amongst friends and become a card-carrying Lounge Lizard yourself. This is not your typical cigar podcast. We're a group of friends who love sharing cigars, whiskey and a good laugh.website/merch/rating archive: loungelizardspod.comemail: hello@loungelizardspod.com to join the conversation and be featured on an upcoming episode!instagram: @loungelizardspodGizmo HQ: LizardGizmo.com

Join Jim and Greg for the Monday 3 Martini Lunch as they discuss California's ongoing vote-counting controversies, a congressional report showing Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz repeatedly failed or refused to stop rampant fraud, Scott Pelley's martyr complex after getting the boot from CBS, and Jill Biden once again excluding one of her granddaughters from public recognition.First, Jim and Greg comment on Karen Bass and City Councilwoman Nithya Raman advancing to the general election in the Los Angeles mayor's race, Spencer Pratt coming up short and lingering questions about California's election system. Next, they review a House Oversight Committee report that alleges Gov. Walz and his administration ignored repeated warnings from whistleblowers about massive fraud and, in some cases, retaliated against those who raised concerns. Then, Jim and Greg react to former CBS correspondent Scott Pelley's effort to portray himself as a victim following his firing last week. They also discuss the left wing bubble in mainstream media. Finally, they criticize former First Lady Jill Biden for once again refusing to acknowledge the child that Hunter Biden fathered out of wedlock. Mrs. Biden dedicated her latest book in part to her granddaughters, but she did not include the child's name, continuing a pattern. Please visit our great sponsors:OneSkinGet15% off OneSkin with code 3ML at https://oneskin.co/3MLPocket HoseFor a limited time, get two free gifts—a 360° rotating pocket pivot and a thumb drive nozzle—when you buy the Pocket Hose Ballistic; just text MARTINI to 64000, message and data rates may apply.New episodes every weekday. 

Join Jim and Greg for the Monday 3 Martini Lunch as they cover California's continued vote counting controversies, a congressional report showing Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz repeatedly failed or refused to stop rampant fraud, Scott Pelley's martyr complex after getting the boot from CBS, and Jill Biden excluding one of her granddaughters again – and […]

On episode 200 with guest former East Hampton Town Police Officer Andrea Kess and her attorney Eric Sanders we will discuss her career in law enforcement and what lead to the circumstances of her termination and retaliation and discrimination she endured while detailing her lawsuit that was just filed in federal court against her former police department. Plus the latest in NYPD news, sports, politics and global news with Jack Stern.CHECK OUT OUR WEBSITE : https://salgreco.comSUPPORT THE SAL GRECO SHOW : https://salgreco.com/support/FOLLOW SAL ON SUBSTACK : https://substack.com/@thesalgrecoSPRUCE UP YOUR WEBSITE : https://www.seoginzos.com/Study With The Key And Forge Ahead In Your NYPD Career Visit WWW.NYPDthekey.com or Email The Key admin@nypdthekey.com Use The Code Greco699 To Get Your Discount And Pay $699 For The Entire Course!DOWNLOAD THE FREESPOKE APP : https://freespoke.referralrock.com/l/SALVATOREG59/JOIN THE ITALIAN AMERICAN CIVIL RIGHTS LEAGUE : https://iacrl.org/Follow Sal:https://twitter.com/TheSalGreco https://www.instagram.com/thesalgreco https://www.instagram.com/thesalgrecoshow https://tiktok.com/@TheSalGrecoShowFollow Jack :https://twitter.com/J_Stern97 https://www.instagram.com/J_Stern97Follow Eric Sanders :https://twitter.com/esq_sanders https://www.thesandersfirmpc.com/

She escaped an arranged marriage the DAY AFTER her mother died…and what happened next will leave you speechless.In this unforgettable episode of Mayim Bialik's Breakdown, Zarna Garg reveals the raw, shocking, and deeply inspiring story behind her rise, from fleeing tradition under unimaginable circumstances to becoming one of the boldest voices in comedy today.After losing her mother, Zarna made a life-altering decision overnight—running away from an arranged marriage and surviving by couch surfing for 2 years. What kept her going? A surprising legacy of kindness her mom left behind that saved her life.From immigrating to America with nothing, to redefining her identity on her own terms, Zarna shares what America truly means to her and why she believes destiny had a hand in her success.She opens up about love, loss, and rebellion - how she navigated dating solo (including her wildly unique online dating ad!) and ultimately found her perfect match.Encouraged by her own kids, Zarna took a leap into stand-up comedy...and never looked back. Today, she's breaking stereotypes, pushing boundaries, and challenging cultural norms with every punchline.Zarna addresses the backlash she faced for performing at the Riyadh Comedy Festival—and why she did it anyway, hoping to inspire women in marginalized communities.She gets real about the tough questions:- Did her father's death change how she sees karma?- Why should you NEVER ask your partner “what are you thinking?”- Is Western culture completely misunderstanding yoga?- Are beauty standards harsher in India or America?Plus, her hilarious takes on:- Growing up influenced by American culture & sibling birth order- Why she loves Mayim's "Amy Farrah Fowler" character from The Big Bang Theory- Balancing cultural pride without “demonizing” her roots for Western audiences Zarna also shares her powerful belief that ALL religions hold value, and how she's built her own philosophy by taking the best from each.This is more than comedy. It's survival, rebellion, identity, and destiny...all wrapped in one incredible story you don't want to miss. Her perspective might completely change how you see culture, courage, and what it really means to choose your own life!Go to https://bioptimizers.com/breaker and use code BREAKER for 15% off. 2026 is the year you finally start sleeping great again.Go to https://tidd.ly/4uVltMe and use the code MAYIM50 to get $50 off your Elastique order.Check out Wondering Jews with Mijal and Noam podcast and subscribe: https://unpacked.bio/nmxGet the Discounted Early Bird registration to the IANDS Annual conference before the sale ends July 15. Visit https://conference.iands.orgSee Zarna Garg on The Million Dollar Excuses Tour: https://zarnagarbtour.com/Follow us on Substack for Exclusive Bonus Content: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bialikbreakdown.substack.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BialikBreakdown.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube.com/mayimbialik⁠⁠⁠See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hour 1 of Jake & Ben on June 5, 2026 During yesterday's Interview, Austin Ainge revealed that the Jazz don't have a consensus at Number 2 yet. Should they?  Top 3 Stories of the Day: NBA Finals Game 2 Tonight, Carolina ties it up, Keyonte George is Showing Leadership for the Jazz.  Are the LA Clippers going to get punished for circumventing the cap? 

0:00 - Last night during Game 1 of the NBA Finals, some jackwagon ran on the court so he could take a selfie with Wemby. Security grabbed him and ushered him off the court. Seriously? That accomplishes nothing. Ban him from all NBA games for life. Who cares? It sets a bad precedent. If you run on the court, security needs to TACKLE you. Paste you. Squash you like a little bug. On the basketball court, tennis court, football field, baseball field, soccer field, you name it! Physical harm should be headed your way. 14:54 - Could a CFB super league survive? Take the top 30-50 teams, make them play against each other AND, this is key, you NEED a relegation system. Just like British soccer. The bottom finishers get sent down to the lower leagues from whence they came. 32:08 - Oh, by the way...Caleb Williams will be on the cover of Madden 27. Is that still the honor it once was? Does Caleb Williams have the resume to be a Madden cover?Oh, by the way...Dillon Gabriel wears #8 for the Cleveland Browns. Jared Verse, who just got traded from the Rams, ALSO wears #8. Does Gabriel have to give it up?Oh, by the way...if you hit the lottery, you MIGHT be able to afford tickets to Game 3 of the NBA Finals at Madison Square Garden.

It is the moving story of a Russian father and daughter who opposed Vladimir Putin's war in Ukraine. It all began in March 2022, when 12-year-old Maria drew an anti-war picture at school in response to the invasion launched a month earlier. She was immediately reported by those around her, and the FSB soon visited both her school and her home. Her father was eventually arrested for supporting his daughter and speaking out against the war. He was convicted of discrediting the Russian army. Following his release from a penal colony, he and Maria left Russia and are now refugees in Strasbourg. A report by Elena Volochine, English adaptation by Lauren Bain.

Bobby shared what request of Scuba Steve’s he had to say no to. We also get into a discussion of how much money it would take for show members to be the face of controversial products and companies. Amy tells us about the most dysfunctional zoo in America and its crazy history of unfortunate events. Amy reveals why she thought she was about to get punished today. Lunchbox shares why he is mad at Scuba Steve. We talked about cities we visited that we felt were overrated.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Questions about responding to the claim that someone who died saving the life of another shouldn't be punished with Hell, and answering someone who says they don't need a relationship with God and that if there's a just God, then we should all be judged according to our deeds.   How would you respond to the claim that someone who died saving the life of another shouldn't be punished with Hell? What would you say to someone who says they don't need a relationship with God and that if there's a just God, then we should all be judged according to our deeds?

NBA Coach Jason Kidd Punished Entire Team for One Player’s Android. Learn more about this story on today's podcast.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome back to another episode of Seasoned Sessions in this glorious heat wave. This week Ada & Dean discuss Kevin Hart's double down on his comedy roast, Naomi Osaka's dinner for Black tennis players & the rise in school expulsions in the UK because of racism.

Welcome back to Young Hot Guys! This week, Shane has been a bold gym boy , Killian revives the classic 'Cad as tú' video , and Tony fills his water to the meniscus just to gain attention . The guys also hatch a plan to take down the rich and famous , make a case for couples sleeping in separate beds , and trigger some Edinburgh Fringe drama along the way . To get extra bonus content and much more you can sign up at ⁠⁠https://headstuffpodcasts.com/membership/⁠⁠  Shane's Tickets: ⁠⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/shanedanbyrne⁠⁠⁠ Killian's Tickets: ⁠⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/killiansundermann⁠⁠⁠ Tony's Tickets: ⁠https://linktr.ee/tonyhorror⁠ Shane Daniel Byrne, Tony Cantwell, and Killian Sundermann are Young Hot Guys. This is a HeadStuff podcast produced by Hilary Barry. Artwork by Shane Kenna Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In January last year, a 14 year old girl we're calling Olivia, was attacked by three boys in Fordingbridge in Hampshire. Two were aged 14 and one just 13 years old. One of the boys raped her while the other two filmed the attack. Just two months earlier, the older boys had attacked another girl in an underpass in the same town. The three boys were convicted of ten rape charges related to the two attacks. But they were given rehabilitation orders rather than jail time. It's a decision which has sparked outrage. On Tuesday, the Prime Minister announced their sentence will now be reviewed. Now, Olivia and her family have spoken to The Times about the trauma they've experienced and what they hope will happen next. This podcast was brought to you thanks to the support of readers of The Times and The Sunday Times. Subscribe today: http://thetimes.com/thestoryGuest: Jessica Sharkey, crime correspondent, The Times.Host: Manveen Rana.Producers: Sophie McNulty, Harry Stott, Micaela Arneson.We want to hear from you - email: thestory@thetimes.comRead more: Fordingbridge rape victim: I feel like I'm the one being punishedFurther listening: She convicted her rapist years after her deathClips: Channel 5 News, ITN, BBC, The Times. Photo: Getty Images.This podcast was brought to you thanks to subscribers of The Times and The Sunday Times. To enjoy unlimited digital access to all our journalism subscribe here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You can listen wherever you get your podcasts or check out the fully edited transcript of our interview at the bottom of this post.In this episode of The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, my guest is Dr. Justin Coulson, an Australian parenting expert and father of 6 who has his PhD in psychology and is the author of 10 books on parenting and the co-host of the Happy Families podcast with his wife, Kylie. We discuss the psychology behind peaceful parenting, including how self-determination theory explains kids' challenging behavior. Dr. Justin also shared his three E's of discipline.Know someone who might appreciate this episode? Share it with them!And if you love the podcast, FREE ways to help us out:1- Rate and review the podcast in your podcast player app2- “Like” this post by tapping the heart icon ♥️3- Share this with a friend. THANK YOU!We talk about:* 1:45 – Introduction to Dr. Justin Coulson and his personal parenting turning pointHow struggles with anger and discipline led him to rethink everything and study psychology.* 08:20 – Learning to regulate ourselves, practicing repair, and growing over time.* 15:50 – Why peaceful parenting starts with the parent's self-awareness and regulation.* 19:50 – Understanding behavior through compassion and curiosity.* 20:50 – The HALTS frameworkHow hunger, anger, loneliness, tiredness, and stress impact children's behavior.* 23:00 – Self-determination theory and parenting* 33:00 – The 3 E's of Effective Discipline* 41:50 – How to use the 3 E's in everyday parenting moments.Real-life examples: screens, sibling conflict & collaboration* 49:00 – Building trust and the “goodwill bank” with kidsWhy collaborative parenting pays off when tough limits are needed.* 53:30 – Advice to his younger parenting self: “soft eyes”A powerful reflection on kindness, connection, and showing up with compassion.* 56:30 – Where to find Dr. Justin CoulsonHis podcast, books, and upcoming work on boys and healthy masculinity.Resources mentioned in this episode:* Dr. Justin's website and podcast* Yoto Screen Free Audio Book Player* The Peaceful Parenting Membership* Evelyn & Bobbie brasConnect with Sarah Rosensweet:* Instagram* Facebook Group* YouTube* Website* Join us on Substack* Newsletter* Book a short consult or coaching session callxx Sarah and CoreyYour peaceful parenting team- click here for a free short consult or a coaching sessionVisit our website for free resources, podcast, coaching, membership and more!>> Please support us!!! Please consider becoming a supporter to help support our free content, including The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, our free parenting support Facebook group, and our weekly parenting emails, “Weekend Reflections” and “Weekend Support” - plus our Flourish With Your Complex Child Summit (coming back in the summer for the 3rd year!) All of this free support for you takes a lot of time and energy from me and my team. If it has been helpful or meaningful for you, your support would help us to continue to provide support for free, for you and for others.In addition to knowing you are supporting our mission to support parents and children, you get the podcast ad free and access to a monthly ‘ask me anything' session.Our sponsors:YOTO: YOTO is a screen free audio book player that lets your kids listen to audiobooks, music, podcasts and more without screens, and without being connected to the internet. No one listening or watching and they can't go where you don't want them to go and they aren't watching screens. BUT they are being entertained or kept company with audio that you can buy from YOTO or create yourself on one of their blank cards. Check them out HEREEvelyn & Bobbie bras: If underwires make you want to rip your bra off by noon, Evelyn & Bobbie is for you. These bras are wire-free, ultra-soft, and seriously supportive—designed to hold you comfortably all day without pinching, poking, or constant adjusting. Check them out HERESarah: Hey, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of the Peaceful Parenting Podcast. Today's guest is Dr. Justin Coulson. He's an Australian parenting expert with a PhD in psychology, the author of 10 books on parenting, the co-host of the Happy Families podcast with his wife, Kylie, the father of six children, and, last but not least, grandfather of one.We discuss the psychology behind peaceful parenting, including how self-determination theory explains kids' challenging behavior. Dr. Justin also shared his three E's of discipline, which I just loved.If you like this episode, please share it with a friend so more parents can learn about peaceful parenting. If you're a fan of the podcast, you can help us out not only by sharing it, but by leaving a review and a five-star rating in your podcast player app. While you're there, don't forget to follow the show so you don't miss an episode.If you'd like to support us even more, you can become a supporter on Substack to help us offset the cost of making the show. We'll put a link in the show notes.Let's meet Dr. Justin. I hope you enjoy this conversation and get as much out of his insights as I did.Sarah: Hello, Dr. Justin, and welcome to the podcast.Dr. Justin: Sarah, I'm so glad to be with you. Thanks for having me on.Sarah: Yeah, and it's morning for you, evening for me—nice—and I'm just glad that we could make this time to talk to each other. I really appreciate it. Thank you. So, could you just tell us a little bit about who you are and what you do?Dr. Justin: Sure. I grew up on the east coast of Australia, about an hour north of Sydney. Geographically, that kind of locates where I was. I was the teenage boy that every parent hopes they will not have. I don't think I was a particularly bad kid, but I certainly wasn't a good kid.My parents were spending a small fortune—I'm a 1975 baby, I turned 50 last year—but this was in the late '80s and early '90s. My parents were spending so much money to send me to a private school. Because we were on the coast—a very quintessentially Australian thing—I was wagging school.Do you say “wagging school” in Canada? Is that a term Canadians use?Sarah: No, but I think we get the context. I think it means not going to school.Dr. Justin: Yeah, I was truant. They thought I was there, but I wasn't.Sarah: We say skipping.Dr. Justin: I was skipping school. Okay, yeah. We call it a school wag.So I would go to school in the morning and get my name marked off in roll call. Then I would sneak out of the school. Across the road from the school, there were bushes—kind of a forest, or whatever you might call it in Canada and America. I would get changed out of my tie, long pants, and black school shoes, throw on some board shorts and a T-shirt.My surfboard was stashed in the bush, and I'd grab it from the hiding place. Then I'd jump on a bus, go to the beach, and surf all day. Afterward, I'd get a bus back to school in the afternoon, change back into my uniform, and race into the school just in time to get my name marked off, looking like I'd been at school all day.This was in the days before schools communicated with parents via email and text, because none of that existed. I was able to get away with it.So I finished high school. I scored in the bottom 15%—Sarah: Goodness.Dr. Justin: Not just my class, but of the entire state of New South Wales. My parents were devastated.I didn't care. I wanted to have a media career. I wanted to be a radio announcer. So I got into radio. If you've ever listened to the radio—and no offense to radio people—you know you don't have to do well at school to be good at radio. You just have to be able to sit on the microphone and say things that make sense.I knew I could do that, so school didn't matter to me. I didn't care about it. That's what I did.But this is where it intersects with parenting.About 10 years into my radio career, my wife and I were having some challenges, particularly around my parenting. We had a threenager and a newborn baby.That three-year-old—I had always held the opinion that my children would do as they were told, and if they didn't, I would make sure they understood that I was the father and that their job was to do as I said.So I was very punitive. I basically made all of the parenting mistakes you can imagine when I would get angry, frustrated, and ill-tempered. It's not that I was a bad father—I spent a lot of high-quality time loving my kids—but I was also really short-fused and highly aggressive.Frankly, I went from threatening to hitting really fast. You call it spanking; we would call it smacking. I was very, very quick to smack or spank my three-year-old, and it wasn't working.After one particularly bad incident where things escalated, I really did lose control. I didn't just spank her once. There were multiple spankings. This was like a 10-minute escalation session where it just got worse and worse and worse.My wife was out at the time. When she came home, I said to Kylie, “I'm a bad father. I'm not doing this well. I'm making a lot of mistakes, and here's what happened while you were out.”Full confession: Kylie has always been this wonderfully supportive wife—very kind, gentle, compassionate, soft-spoken, thoughtful, considerate, empathic—all of those beautiful attributes that I prize and treasure in my good wife.She was none of those things that day.She had fire in her eyes and said, “You are not living up to the father that I hoped you would be, and you're also not living up to the husband I need you to be.”And it took me back, because I was already feeling downcast. I felt like I was failing anyway, and she just—it was like she picked up a great big lump of wood and whacked me over the head with it and said, “No.”Of course, she didn't actually do that, but that's how it felt. It felt physical. Visceral. Like, Ow. This is serious.I left my radio career shortly thereafter.I was working at one of the biggest radio stations in Australia at the time, and I gave up all the backstage passes with global superstars and hanging out with record company executives at the best restaurants, eating their food so they could bribe me to play their music on the radio station. I went back to school.I became a full-time student. I worked part-time at three different jobs while studying full-time. I'd sleep under the desk at university so I could do the study and the work—Sarah: No surfing this time?Dr. Justin: No surfing this time, no. I was just so committed to it.After eight and a half years of full-time study, I graduated with a doctorate. I had to do a couple of other qualifications first, including a psychological science degree. I graduated with a doctorate in psychology and became a university lecturer.Along the way, Sarah, we went from having our two kids at that point to having our third child in my first year of study, our fourth child in my fifth year of study, and our fifth child while I was doing my doctorate. Shortly after I left the university setting, stopped lecturing, and started writing books and giving talks, we had our sixth child.So we're the parents—Sarah: Amazing.Dr. Justin: —of six daughters. Today, they range in age from 12—the youngest—to the oldest, who is in her mid-to-late 20s. She and her husband have a baby now. They've been married for a few years.Sarah: Wow. You're a grandpa.Dr. Justin: A grand—I'm a grandpa. We have a two-and-a-half-year-old grandbaby, four adult children, one in her teens, and a 12-year-old.So that's kind of my very short version of the journey.Along the way, I've written a bunch of books. We've got a TV show in Australia called Parental Guidance. We've had three seasons of that show on primetime TV. I've got a website and all the things that you'd expect—a podcast and so on.Sarah: What did you do when you had that aha moment—that realization that you weren't being the kind of dad you wanted to be, and your wife also agreed that you weren't being the kind of dad she wanted you to be? What did you change?Because you just mentioned that you spent eight and a half years going back to school. I imagine that you made some changes before you had six kids. So what did you do right away, maybe for anyone listening who can relate to those feelings of rage and feeling triggered by your child?Dr. Justin: Sarah, the first thing I'd say is that there was no linear change, and there were no immediate changes, because I didn't know what to do.I was unskilled. I was uneducated. I didn't know anything about psychology, and I clearly didn't know anything about parenting.But I found a mentor. I have a faith background, and there was a writer who wrote eloquently and compassionately. I just felt like he understood me, and he became a mentor to me.I also discovered a guy called Alfie Kohn. You might be familiar with Alfie Kohn.Sarah: Oh, Alfie Kohn was the first thing I ever read about parenting—Dr. Justin: Oh, great.Sarah: —before I even had kids. And he was on the podcast last year, which felt like a full-circle moment between how influential—I told him on the podcast, “You have probably had the biggest influence on me—not only in my parenting, but in my life's direction—of any single person out there.”So, sorry, fan-girl moment. I'm right there with you with Alfie Kohn.Dr. Justin: Yeah. I've gotten to know Alfie over the years as my academic career advanced and I began to understand where he took his research from.I read his book Punished by Rewards—I think it was a 1993—Sarah: That was my first one too.Dr. Justin: Yeah, it's a 1993 publication or something.Sarah, it was just so influential.What happened was, I was doing my university degree and learning things, and honestly, I'd be sitting there thinking, Hang on, the things they're teaching me in these university courses seem to clash with what Alfie Kohn taught me in Punished by Rewards.So I spent a lot of time in the notes section at the back—you know, all the references nobody ever reads?Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: As I went through them, I discovered researchers named Edward Deci and Richard Ryan from the University of Rochester in upstate New York.They had developed a theory known as self-determination theory.A large portion of Alfie Kohn's work is based on self-determination theory.So I really dug deep into that. I still love Alfie, but I moved very much into the academic side because I became a university lecturer and really got into the nitty-gritty of understanding the deepest depths of what self-determination theory is all about. That has become the foundation of the work that I do.And to your question: nothing is linear when you are trying to make improvements.Whether you're trying to change your diet, exercise, get your finances in order, or improve your relationships, you have insights. You have moments where you think, Oh my goodness, this is what I need to do. I need to show up with warmth on my face and soft eyes.And then three hours later, one of your children does something, and you forget what soft eyes look and feel like. You look at them with hard eyes, frustration in your voice, and short, clipped sentences.Then half an hour later, you think, Oh, self-awareness. I missed that.So it's this gradual process: two steps forward, one step back. Three steps forward, one step back. Four steps forward, three steps back. Eight steps forward, no steps back.Over the years, I had this beautiful experience—and maybe you've had a similar experience in your family as you've raised your kids.We were maybe in my third or fourth year of study. My wife has an early childhood background. She knows child development. She knows what kids need.She was a little skeptical about a lot of the things I was starting to talk about and discover as I went through university and got into the depths of what the research meant—comparing and contrasting it with what was mainstream, but actually not always quite right.We had some tension around how we should respond to the children. I was moving away from that authoritarian bent and developing ideas around exploring their world more.One night, I came home from university a little late. It was probably around 9:00 p.m. Our three children were still awake.As I drove into the driveway, all the lights in the house were on. The windows were open. Looking through the living room window, I could tell the house was—to put it politely—a mess.And as I stepped into the house, the kids—it was just awful.I walked over to Kylie and said, “Honey, it looks like it's been a pretty tough day.”I was trying to be compassionate and empathic. I was really trying to do what psychology says is the right thing to do.Kylie looked at me without hesitation and said, “Don't give me any of that psychology crap. I've had the worst day in the world.”Then she stormed out and said, “You fix it,” and walked into the bedroom and closed the door.Again, this is not how my wife usually is, but it had been a really rough day. The kids were feral. The house was a mess.I looked at my priorities. I sat down with the child who was struggling the most and worked with her for two or three minutes. She calmed down, I gave her a little food, and put her to bed.Within about 20 minutes, I had all three kids in bed, and I was so proud of myself.I stepped into the kitchen and started tidying up. I thought, I'll just give Kylie some space.After another 30 or 40 minutes of tidying, I stepped into the living room and said, “Honey, I know you're really upset. It's been a pretty tough day. I wasn't trying to be judgy or anything.”And she said, “It's fine for you. You're not dealing with it all day. You walk in and think you can just snap your fingers and everything's fine.”Then she looked at me and said, “But tonight, you walked in and it feels like you snapped your fingers and everything's fine.”And we had this beautiful conversation where she said, “I've been resenting the things you've been trying to tell me because it felt like you were telling me I was wrong.“But I've been watching, and I'm actually seeing that the things you're doing are working, and our family is feeling better.”It took four or five years to get there, Sarah.It's not like I had this epiphany—I'm a bad father, I need to change—and suddenly I was a good dad.There were many embarrassing, shameful moments after that epiphany where I still made terrible decisions and treated the children badly.Even today, I still lose my temper, say things I shouldn't, and get frustrated, because kids are kids and we're fallible humans.But we call parenting parenting because it's about us. If it were about children, we'd call it childrening.Which sounds silly, right?Dr. Justin: But what I've really discovered is that if I can learn how to regulate myself—high emotions equal low intelligence—then I can regulate my emotions, turn them up or down appropriately for the context, and keep them in harmony with my long-term goals, which are to have loving, kind relationships with my children.If I can do that, I'm going to approach them with a tremendously different focus than I will if I'm looking for a short-term fix.And that is something—Anger is a habit. Yelling is a habit. Time-out is a habit. Reward charts are a habit.We can create other habits. We just have to understand the processes and principles behind those habits and then practice them, like we practice a song on the piano, until we finally get it right.Sarah: I love that.So you and Kylie really had a journey—a back-and-forth dance of your own processes and your own development.I do love how you say it's really about us. Whenever I'm working with clients, after a couple of sessions they'll say, “You know what? This isn't even about my kid. This is just about me.”Dr. Justin: Yes. Yes.Sarah: Nobody wants to believe that at first, because it's so much easier to think, I've just got to change them and what they're doing.But it's really all about what we're bringing to the moment and what we're bringing to the relationship.Dr. Justin: I get in trouble sometimes for being overly provocative and saying things that are insensitive, so a quick warning:I want to say what I'm about to say with all the compassion in the world and all the tenderness and care in the world, because I work with people every single day who are dealing with exactly the struggles you're talking about.I want to step into the world of neurodiversity—ADHD, autism, trauma—those kinds of areas.What we're talking about applies there as well. It's just harder.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: But ultimately, if I'm raising an ADHD child or a child who's been through a traumatic experience, once again, parenting is not about them. It's about how I show up for them.So I can say, “Well, my child's like that,” or, “I'm like this because of the diagnosis,” or because of the label, or because of the trauma, or because of the neural networks doing what they're doing.I can say all of those things, and many people do. It's understandable, and I have all the compassion in the world for them when they do.But the key thing I want to highlight is that in spite of all of those challenges your child might be facing—or even that you might be facing—today begins now.It begins with what you put on your face and what you think in your mind.If we can soften our features and go to our children with kindness and compassion while still holding appropriate limits—or working with them to develop appropriate limits—then what we can say is:“Yes, that bad thing happened,” or, “Yes, we are dealing with this difficulty, so what are we going to do about it?”We can fall into the I can't do anything way of thinking, which is really ineffective and doesn't help at all.Or we can step into I have this incredible thing psychologists call agency, or self-efficacy, where I can make a decision now, and if we work on it, we can actually improve things.It might be a longer, harder road. There may be more obstacles to climb over than a typical family without those challenging circumstances.It may be harder.But we can always improve.I never want to be the person who puts limits on what kids can do or what parents can do.If we change our language, change our focus, and recognize that this is a long game—Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: —which requires sustained effort every single day, it's extraordinary the progress we can make and the changes we can create in our home and our family.Sarah: For sure. Yeah.And unfortunately, it's a long game, right? Because I think today we always want quick answers and solutions.Really, it's just showing up every day as best you can and repairing when you don't show up the way you wish you had.And I think another really important part of it—which you were talking around a little bit—is trying to understand our child's experience and see things from their perspective.I was just talking to a client about that today:What's the most emotionally generous explanation you can come up with for their behavior?Because we don't actually know why anyone does anything, since we're not in their brain.But we often jump to, They're being rude on purpose, or They're trying to annoy me.Really, if we can think, Well, I don't know why they're doing this, but there's probably a reason, because kids want to be good. They want to be connected with us.And just reminding ourselves that they're not giving us a hard time—they're having a hard time.That actually makes it easier, I think, to show up as your best, most compassionate self—with, as you say, soft eyes and warm features.Dr. Justin: Yeah.No child wakes up in the morning thinking, Today's the day. I'm just going to ruin everything.This is the perfect opportunity. My parents are tired and frazzled. There's a cost-of-living crisis. There are all these challenges happening, and if ever there was a moment—it's now. I'm going to do it today.They don't wake up thinking that.Like you said—and you said it so perfectly—kids really do want to please us.I know some parents listening to me say that right now are thinking, No, no. My child does not want to please me.And so the question becomes: Why? Why are they struggling?And maybe this is a nice way for me to bring in some of the principles I learned as I went deeper into self-determination theory.There are a couple of times when children are almost guaranteed to be challenging, and this has nothing to do with self-determination theory. This is just general psychology and wellbeing.I always think of Germany. A police officer tells you to stop, but they don't say the word stop because they're German.In German, the word for stop is halt—H-A-L-T.So we add an S to the end, and the acronym becomes:Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired, or Stressed.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: Those are the five times when you can all but guarantee your children are not going to be doing well.If they are hungry, get some food into them—ideally a little protein, because it's satiating and helps them feel full quickly.If they're angry, then we've got to remember: high emotions equal low intelligence.You can't think straight in a high emotional state.So our job is to get curious, not furious, because if we fight fire with fire, we end up with a scorched-earth policy and everything gets burned.Dr. Justin: Lonely.I could be sitting right next to you, Sarah, and feel disconnected and lonely—Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: —even if we were very close.Our children are sometimes literally sitting at our kitchen bench, and they feel alone. They feel a little lost. Because of the way we're responding to them—with hard commands, correction, and direction rather than connection—they feel lonely.Tired.I don't even need to explain that.Even as adults, I don't know any couple who, at the end of witching hour—or whatever you might call it in North America, that 5:00 to 7:00 p.m. stretch when the kids—Sarah: Yeah.Dr. Justin: —are just oof…It's the end of that period, and you're exhausted, the kids are exhausted, and you look at your husband or wife and say, “You know what? We are so tired. We're shattered. But boy, are we nailing it tonight.”Nobody ever says that when they're tired—Sarah: Yeah.Dr. Justin: —because you're not nailing it. You're just hanging in there.And it's the same with kids.Then the S is for stressed, and that includes sickness, because sickness is a stress on the body as well.Those five indicators are going to let you know when your child is likely to be challenging, and I think they're really good to watch out for.But if we go a little deeper and talk about self-determination theory, it says that each of us has these needs.You have them, Sarah, and I have them, and our children have them—even your mother-in-law has them.We have three basic psychological needs.When we're in environments where those needs are supported, oh my goodness, we thrive. These are environments we're drawn to and attracted to. We approach them with a smile on our face and can't wait to be there.But if the environment is what researchers call need-thwarting or need-frustrating—meaning it frustrates and thwarts those needs—then we avoid it.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: Or, if we're in those environments, we act in ways that are challenging.So the basic psychological needs are:Number one: a sense of relationship, or relatedness. That's the technical term they use.Relatedness is a sense of mutual belonging.Sarah: So would it be similar to mattering? Like you feel like you matter to somebody?Dr. Justin: Yeah. There's been a lot of talk recently about mattering.But it's reciprocal mattering. It's not just one-way.It's I matter to you, but you matter to me.Sarah: Yeah.Dr. Justin: Let me use Mother's Day as an example.We just had Mother's Day in Australia at the start of May.If I've got a great relationship with my mother-in-law, and it's Mother's Day, I'm probably going to spend the morning with my wife and family while my children celebrate their mum. Then maybe at lunchtime, we head over to the in-laws to celebrate my wife's mum.If I feel like that relationship need is supported at my mother-in-law's—meaning there's mutual belonging, I matter to her, she matters to me, we enjoy one another's company, and it feels good—I'm going to say:“Great. Let's get in the car. Let's go. What do we need to do?”But if I'm going to a need-frustrating environment—if there's tension, antagonism, snide remarks, eye rolls, silence, defensiveness, or wounds from bad things that happened in the past—that environment doesn't feel good to me.So I'm going to say to Kylie:“Honey, why don't you take the kids to your mum's? Have a great lunch. We've made a big mess this morning, and I think the best thing I can do for your Mother's Day”—and I'll frame it nicely, of course—“is stay home, tidy the house, clean up the kitchen, get everything ready, and put dinner on for tonight so you can have your perfect Mother's Day dinner. I'll see you in four hours.”And then I send her out the door.Why?Because my in-laws' home has become a need-thwarting or need-frustrating environment. I just don't want to be there.And if I am there, I'm going to be sullen and sulky. I might try my best for half an hour and then say, “Oh, this is too hard,” and retreat—Sarah: Or text. The adult version of misbehavior.Dr. Justin: Yes, exactly. Exactly.But if I'm a child in a need-thwarting or need-frustrating environment, I'm going to get into fights with the kids I don't like.Or I'm going to say, “I don't want to go to school because everyone picks on me because I don't regulate my behavior properly because I've got ADHD.”Right?So school becomes a place I don't want to go.Or maybe you have a faith background and your child doesn't have any friends at church.Or you've signed them up for soccer, but they don't know anyone on the team.And they're saying, “Yeah, but I don't want to go.”It all comes down to relationship.Relationship is the basic psychological need that's being thwarted.Now, the second basic psychological need is competence.Competence, I would describe as feeling like I can do the thing I'm being asked to do.Sarah: Or that I want to do.Dr. Justin: Yeah. We'll get to want to in just a second, because want-to is the third basic psychological need—autonomy.So stay with me on competence for a second.Competence is capability. Capacity.It's not even necessarily about being able to do something—it's about feeling like you're making progress toward the goal.Let's say I'm joining acrobatics and trying to learn how to do a handstand.That's really tricky. It's a tough skill.If I show up every week to acrobatics, even if I've got great friends there—so my relationship need is supported—and I love my coach, but every time I try to do a handstand my shoulders buckle, my elbows aren't straight, my form is wrong, I fall over, or I can't stay up…After four or five or six weeks, I'm going to say:“I don't like this anymore. I'm out.”I had a daughter who wanted to come cycling with me.I'm a really keen cyclist. I ride on the road. I'm a middle-aged man in Lycra.But I also ride on the velodrome.You've seen those velodrome bikes at the Olympics—the indoor track where they go around and around and around.You might have noticed that after they finish the race, they keep pedaling and do another 10 laps.The reason is twofold.Number one: there are no brakes on those bikes.And second: they use what's called a fixed gear, meaning that when the wheels are spinning, the pedals are spinning.If you stop pedaling, you're going to get thrown over the handlebars because the wheels are still moving, which means the pedals are still moving, even if you try to stop them.So you just have to keep riding until the bike slows down.My daughter wanted to come to Friday night velodrome racing with me.We didn't have the money, but we spent all this cash on a bike, the Lycra, the helmet, the special shoes—it cost a lot, and I was a poor university student.But my daughter wanted to cycle with me, and I wasn't going to miss that opportunity. So we sacrificed and made it happen.Unfortunately, she was competing against girls who had been riding for four, five, or six years.For the first few weeks, she gave it a good go, but she was losing by several laps every race.After about a month, she said:“Dad, I don't want to do this anymore.”And my response was:“But I've spent all this money.”But what was really going on was that as much as she liked the girls and the atmosphere, she didn't feel competent—Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: —and she didn't see progress.She didn't feel like she was ever going to master the activity, so her motivation and wellbeing plummeted.Cycling became a need-thwarting environment for her.Whether it's piano, violin, rock climbing, cycling, swimming, math, PE class—it doesn't matter.If your kids don't feel like they can do the thing, they're going to push back.They're going to say:“This is too hard. I don't like it.”They won't use these exact words, but what they're really saying is:“This is a need-frustrating environment for me. I don't like it. I don't want to be there.”And then they start to act out.My mom got to the stage with me as a 13-year-old boy where she was physically holding me by the arm and dragging me into my piano lessons.Dr. Justin: Which brings me to my third and final basic psychological need, which is autonomy.A lot of people hear the word autonomy and think it means freedom—that kids can do whatever they want. They think it means independence.That's not what autonomy means, certainly not in the strict scientific form we're talking about within this theory.Rather, autonomy comes down to identifying the value of an activity and therefore endorsing the actions required to do the activity.See, if I, as a 12-year-old, looked at piano and thought:This is going to be a lifelong skill that will bring me joy, that I'll be able to share with others, that I can use in service of my family and community. If I can play piano or keyboard, I could be in a band. I could do all of these things.If I identified the value in the activity, then I would endorse the work required to learn it.So autonomy is not about freedom and independence. It's about choice based on values.That's a lot when you're thinking about three-, four-, and five-year-olds, but not necessarily—Sarah: No, I love that.We talk about that all the time in my communities—how important it is for kids to have autonomy.And I think you can have autonomy even when kids can't be independent, right?Because you can't have a four-year-old who's independent, but you can have a four-year-old who can make decisions that matter.Dr. Justin: Yes, yes.And that decision goes well beyond, Do you want to wear the blue suit or the green one?Sarah: I'll quote our friend Alfie Kohn. He says, “Kids should have the ability to make decisions that make adults gulp a little bit.”Dr. Justin: I love it. Yes. Beautiful.Let me give an adult version of this, and then I'll swing it back into childhood, because sometimes parents hear this and think, This isn't quite computing for me.In Canada, you drive on the right-hand side of the road.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: And it's true that if you choose to drive on the left-hand side of the road, the authorities will probably get involved. You may cause harm to somebody. You could even end up in prison.But even in the middle of the night, when nobody's on the road, I can't imagine there are too many Canadians who get in the car and think:Tonight's the night. Nobody's watching. I'm gonna drive on the left.You are being absolutely controlled by the government and by the law. You're driving on the right-hand side of the road.But because you identify the value in driving on the right-hand side of the road, nobody has to compel you to do it.You just do it because you endorse the idea that driving on the right is safer. It's what you need to do.So our job with our children is twofold.First, when it comes to these basic psychological needs, we want to help them be in environments—or create environments—where those needs are supported.We want to send them to a school where they have good relationships, where somebody says, “Hey, come sit with us,” where teachers know them by name and smile when they see them and are excited to support them.A school where they're able to experience progress—which might mean less emphasis on grades and more emphasis on developing capability.And a school where they feel like they have some say in where they're going and what they're doing.Rather than being forced to attend a school like I was when I was a teenager, they get to say:“No, I want to go to that school because that's where my friends are.”Or:“That's where the teachers help me feel good.”Or:“That's where my interests lie.”That's the basic psychological-needs concept.Now let's bring that into discipline, which is what started this whole conversation.Based on this theory—and I guess it ties back to a lot of what Alfie Kohn has said as well—I developed a little model that's really easy to memorize and even easier to enact.I call it the Three E's of Effective Discipline.The Three E's of Effective Discipline are need-supportive.If you look at the root of the word discipline, it comes from the idea that we teach, guide, and instruct—that we show the way to follow.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: But if you look at the modern definition of discipline, the modern definition is punish.Punish means exact retribution. It means hurt. It means make someone pay a price.Sarah: Make people feel bad on purpose.Dr. Justin: Yeah. That's exactly right.And I'm interested in disciplining our kids, not punishing our kids.Punishment is need-thwarting, right?If you make someone feel bad on purpose, there goes the relationship. They feel incompetent, and you've taken away their autonomy.So standard discipline strategies—whether it's time-out, spanking, yelling, withdrawing privileges, taking away the iPad, bribery—all of those standard discipline practices trample over basic psychological needs.We've got to come up with something better.So I developed the Three E's of Effective Discipline, which are basically this:On a beautiful bed of empathy, we explore, we explain, and we empower.Sarah: Ooh, I love that.Dr. Justin: Explore basically means I sit down with my child at an appropriate time.Because we always try to fix things right here, right now.Sometimes we need to, but often intervention simply to make sure people and property aren't hurt—that's all you need.Then you can say to your child:“We'll have a chat about this later when nobody's got a head full of steam.”Kick it down the road.You don't have to fix things right here, right now. Most of the time, it's just not necessary.So once everyone is calm, you explore.You say:“Hey, I've noticed there's been a lot of tension in our home lately between you and your brother.”Or:“Have you noticed that for the last few weeks we've had so much conflict about screens?”And your child says, “Yeah.”And you say:“I just want to listen because parenting's about parents, right? I must be getting something wrong here. Can you help me understand what I'm missing? Where am I going wrong? What's the real problem from your perspective?”Now, there are three things that make this better.Number one: never do it with an audience.Kids always want to save face. They don't feel competent when we start these conversations in front of other people.Number two: have some treats.Because once you're feeding them, they're like:“Oh, I'm not in trouble. We're just chatting, and there are cookies,” or a thick shake, or something like that.And number three: take notes.When you're trying to solve problems—and that's really what discipline is—The Three E's of Effective Discipline are about problem-solving.Discipline—meaning helping, teaching, guiding, instructing—is really about solving problems.So if I want to solve problems effectively in my home—if I want to discipline my children well—I'm trying to say:“Where are you coming from? What am I missing?”When you take notes on what your kids are saying, it's amazing how much information they give you because they realize:You're really listening to me.Sarah: Yeah. You're taking me seriously. You're writing down what I say.Dr. Justin: They're blown away by it.So they'll tell you a bunch of stuff.Now, every now and then they won't. Sometimes they'll shrug and say, “I don't know.”And you can say:“Well, if you don't know, that's fine. But if you did know…”This drives kids crazy, but it's my favorite sentence.“If you did know, what do you think the answer would be?”Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: And they roll their eyes.“Well, I don't know. That's what I said. If I knew, I'd tell you, but I don't know.”And I say:“I know you don't know, and I understand that if you did know, you would tell me. But if you did know, what would you tell me?”Sarah: I love that.Dr. Justin: They get this feeling—it's like this horrible psychological trick where:I don't know the answer, but if I had to come up with one, I guess I'd say this…And now the conversation starts.You get momentum.Sarah: You Jedi mind-trick them.Dr. Justin: Yeah. It's beautiful.And you write it down.At no point are you allowed to interrupt.At no point are you allowed to tell them they're wrong.At no point are you allowed to respond with your adult wisdom.You just listen.Sarah: Okay, and we're still on explore?Still on the first E?Dr. Justin: We're still on the first E.You make all these notes, and once it sounds like they've told you everything, you say:“All right. So what you're telling me is…”And then you read the notes back.This is the oldest psychological strategy in the book—I'm not saying anything new here.If they say, “Yes, that's what I'm saying,” you say:“All right. Great. I've got it.”If they say no, then you say:“Oh, what have I missed? How did I get this wrong? Clarify it for me.”And they give you more information.But there's a really valuable question at the end.When they say, “Yes, that's what I'm saying,” you ask:“Fantastic. Is there anything else?”Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: The power of asking that extra question is profound.It forces them to go deeper.Sometimes they'll say, “No, that's it.”But often, their first answers are shallow answers to get you off their back.They're thinking:I'm telling you what I think you want to hear.But when you say:“Got it. You're happy with this answer? Fantastic. Is there anything else going on?”That's when they look at you and think:Oh—you're actually serious about this. You really care.Sarah: And you're really listening to me.Dr. Justin: Yeah.And it's profound what children will give you after you ask, “Is there anything else?”Once you've got everything written down, confirmed, and you're clear, the next step is explain.Dr. Justin: Now, there are a couple of things around explain.Explain is basically the part where you tell them what they need to know. This is the parent bit.But all too often, we step into lecturing, and the kids fall asleep. They're like, “Oh, here we go again. I thought this was going to be different, but it's no different after all.”So there are a couple of things we need to get right here.Number one: if you're going to explain anything to your children, my recommendation is that you keep it to less than 20 seconds.Now, there's no science around this. This is just my experience in talking with parents and kids in my own family. I find that if you talk for more than 10 to 20 seconds, kids really do tune out, and it goes back to the way things have always been.The second thing is that I always ask permission.“Now that I've listened to you, Sarah, there are just one or two things I'd love to run by you about what's going on. Do you mind if I do that?”I want to make this absolutely clear: as a parent, you do not need your child's permission to tell them things. I really, absolutely, honestly believe that. As the parent, you have the right to tell them stuff they need to know.But this isn't about rights. This is about effectiveness.If I launch into, “Well, Sarah, now that I've listened to that, I get it, but I need to tell you these two things,” I'm already bringing defensiveness back into the relationship.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: Barriers are coming up.Whereas if I say, “Sarah, this is so helpful. As I've listened to you, two things have come to mind. Do you mind if I share both of those with you?” Your instant response, even as I say it—I'm watching your face—Sarah: I'm nodding.Dr. Justin: And you're going—Sarah: Yeah.Dr. Justin: Yeah. I actually want to know.You're opening up your heart and mind to me, and we're just role-playing this.Sarah: Yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: And that's what our kids do. They're like, “Oh, okay.” Because we've given them the courtesy of listening—Sarah: Well, and you're not trying to use your power over them.Dr. Justin: Exactly.This is a non-coercive, really supportive conversation.And I still haven't had this happen. A lot of parents will say, “Well, what happens if they say no?”And I'm like, “I've raised six kids, and they've never actually looked at me and said, ‘Now that I think about it, no, I don't need to know anything that you…'”They've just never done it.But even if they did—Sarah: Well, if they do, it's probably that they're—what did you say? When emotions are high, intelligence is low. Maybe it wasn't the right time to have the conversation.If they're saying no, then they're probably still angry and holding onto whatever was going on for them.Dr. Justin: Exactly.But if they're that angry, they're probably not going to have explored nicely with you anyway.Sarah: Yes, exactly. So pick—Dr. Justin: A different time.You're probably not even going to—Sarah: Get to that point. Yeah.Dr. Justin: So it's very much: keep it really short, ask permission, and then share.Sarah: Okay. So give me examples.You said, “We've been fighting about screens,” was one example. You also gave the example of, “You've been fighting a lot with your brother.”So in the explain—10 to 20 seconds—choose one of those scenarios. After hearing your child, what would you say in that 10 to 20 seconds?Dr. Justin: I did this just the other day with my 16-year-old daughter, Lily, who is on social media more than she should be. There's been some tension and conflict.I listened. She shared some ideas, and I said, “There are just a couple of things I want to run by you. Is that okay?”She said, “Sure, Dad.”I said, “Great. There are certain times when we're trying to connect or have family time, and there are certain contexts where you're on your device and we just can't reach you.”She looked at me and said, “Yeah, I know.”I said, “Okay. The second thing I want to highlight is that we've noticed you're sleeping in because, even though you're not supposed to, you've been taking your phone into your bedroom at night and staying up late scrolling. Unless I'm reading it wrong, I'm pretty sure that's what's been happening.”And she said, “No, I have been, Dad. You're right.”So it's just two really succinct sentences where I'm stating what I'm seeing. I'm sharing my experience.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: If it were the sibling fighting, I'd say, “Yeah, your brother is really annoying. I get what's going on. Sometimes I wish he didn't live in our house as well.”I might have a joke with them about the challenge associated with that.And then I might say, “So when this happens, can I just share how it feels for me? It breaks my heart. I love both of you so very much, and my dream is for our family to enjoy being in one another's company and to look forward to conversations and jokes and doing the things we do. When this stuff is going on, it feels like that's a pipe dream.“And secondly, psychologically—you know I've got this PhD in psychology—I know that there's damage being done to the way your brother feels about himself. That's what I'm worried about.”So I've had both of those little conversations on two different topics, sharing two different things, and both were about 10 seconds each.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: Again, it's conversational. It's not lecture-style.Sarah: And it's from the heart.I can feel it, even though this is just an example you're giving. I can feel that it's from your heart—that you're really being open and sharing with your child what your true concerns are.You're not trying to power over or control. You're really sharing a heartfelt sentiment.Dr. Justin: Yeah. Thank you. That's the goal.You won't always do that, but that's the goal.The reason there's a problem is because your values are not being upheld in the home, and you're trying to communicate that in a way that shows you honor them and that they've got a brain.Now, we've used two really grown-up versions—or teenage versions, I guess. But you can have the same conversations with three- and four-year-olds. It's just shorter. It's simpler.Usually, with those conversations, in a pretty tight timeframe—60 to 90 seconds—you've done the whole process.There is a higher-order—Sarah: Okay, so what's the third part?Dr. Justin: Just before I get to that one, if you really want to do the advanced version of explain, what I'll often do after I've explored with my child is say:“Okay, so this is the bit where I'd normally explain what's going on from my point of view. I wonder if you can tell me what you think I'm going to say here.”Sarah: Ah.Dr. Justin: And so I get them to explain the explain to me.The reason that's so effective is that whenever my mouth is the one that's moving, my brain is the one that's working.If I can get their mouth moving, their brain is doing the heavy lifting.Sarah: Love that.Dr. Justin: That's really, really effective.And then the last one—Sarah: Is empower.And you're also helping them see things and develop empathy, right? To see things from somebody else's perspective.Dr. Justin: Yes. Powerful.The last one is empower.That's literally as simple as saying, “Okay, so I get where you're coming from. We've had that conversation very thoroughly. You know what my challenge is here. What do you think we should do?”“Where do we go from here? How do we solve this in a way that we can both feel good about?”It's true that every now and then, your child will shrug their shoulders and say, “I don't know.”Or they'll shrug and say, “Well, we should just do what I want to do.”And as a parent, that's where you step in and say my favorite line:“Don't you just wish? Don't you just wish we could?”Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: Because—well, let me ask you, Sarah. When I say, “Don't you just wish,” or, “Wouldn't it be good if we could?”—same thing—what have I actually said?Sarah: Total empathy. Heaps of empathy.Dr. Justin: Total empathy.But I've also said something else really clearly.Sarah: That that's not going to work.Dr. Justin: Correct. The answer is no.But it's a no with so much love, kindness, empathy, and gentleness in it—Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: —that your child goes, “Oh, yeah. I know.”And then you say, “So let's see if we can come up with a solution that will work.”What else might work for you when it comes to your brother?What else might work for you when it comes to the party on Friday night that I'm not willing to let you go to?What else could work when it comes to our screen challenges? Because this is an ongoing issue for us, isn't it?Every now and then, you won't get an answer right away. You'll say, “Well, let's talk about it again tonight,” or, “Let's talk about it again tomorrow once you've had some time to think about it.”But I'm big on deadlines.“We need to have this worked out by the end of the weekend, okay? I don't want to go through another week of this. We've got to find a solution. If we haven't had another chat by tomorrow night, we're going to sit down and work it out then.”And I also don't have a problem at this point—Laura Walker is a researcher at BYU in Utah, and she did a study published in the Journal of Adolescence where she found that parents who use these kinds of strategies—she's not talking about the Three E's of Effective Discipline, because that's the thing I developed, but it's based on the same sort of theory that she researches—Parents who use these kinds of strategies, even when they do have to step in and say, “All right, well, we haven't come up with a solution, so it's going to be my way,” kids are much more likely to be responsive and compliant—Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: —because we've been through a process with them that is not autocratic. It's not authoritarian.They've felt like they had a voice. Their perspective has been seen and heard. They've had some input.And even though they don't get what they want all the time—because we're the parents, and sometimes the fact that we've climbed 47 rungs on the ladder of life and they've only climbed 13 is all we need.Sarah: That's what I call in my work the goodwill bank.When your kids experience you as collaborative, non-coercive, and not power-tripping—when they know, over the period of their childhood, that they can trust you to take their preferences into account and be respectful of them—then when you do have to say no about something, even if they don't like it, there's this goodwill bank behind you and this level of trust.When you mentioned, “You can't go to the party on Friday,” I never had that issue with my kids because everything was so collaborative.We'd have similar conversations. I didn't have—I'm not very good at thinking of things like the Three E's—but similar kinds of processes where they'd say why they wanted to go, I'd say what my concerns were, and then they'd invariably say, “Oh, yeah, you're probably right.”It was never, “You can't go.”It was, “These are my concerns. This is what I've been thinking about.”Because they experienced that whole process over years of parenting, you don't get the pushback because they don't feel like you're power-tripping them.Dr. Justin: Yeah.Sarah, I had an experience with one of my adult children who was still living at home. I think she was maybe 19 or 20 when this happened.She wanted to go and do something, and I said to her, “You're an adult. You do get to choose for yourself whether you will do this or not, but I've got some really big concerns about you doing it.“I actually think you're putting yourself into a dangerous situation. There's some history, some volatility, and some challenges if you go and involve yourself in this particular activity. Tell me why this is so important to you.”So she walked me through it, and I said, “Okay, I get it. How do my concerns stack up against your desire to be there?”And she said, “Dad, I get what you're saying, but I want to go.”And I said, “Okay, so…”You used that beautiful term, the goodwill bank. I can't remember exactly what my words were, but I'm going to use your term right now, because I essentially said:“I'm going to use the goodwill I've built up with you over the last however many years and step in really firmly and say you're making a mistake.“As your dad, even though you're an adult, I want to forbid you to go. That's how strongly I feel about this. To the degree that I can, I forbid it.“Ultimately, you will choose because you are an adult, but I don't want you there.”Sarah: I'm going on the record.Dr. Justin: Yeah, yeah.“I need you to trust that this is a bad idea. We can come up with any number of other activities you could do instead, with different people in a different location, but this is a bad idea, and you have none of my support should you go.“If you go and something goes wrong, you call me and I'll come rescue you. But it is a bad idea, and I forbid it.”And I couldn't believe I was saying those words. I've never said them in my life, and now I was saying them to an adult.But she looked at me and said, “Okay.”Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: She didn't fight me. She didn't say, “I can do what—”Sarah: No, because you built up the history with her of how she experienced you.Dr. Justin: Yeah. She was like, “Wow, this is serious. He's never said that before. If he feels that strongly, maybe he's right. Maybe I need to find an alternative.”So anyway, that's the Three E's of Effective Discipline.I feel like I've talked too much, Sarah. I wanted to be much more conversational, but I get carried away when we—Sarah: No, no. I love it.I feel like it's very complementary to the things that I teach, and you've given me some new things to teach parents as well.I love having sort of snappy—the Three E's of Discipline. I think that's great. I love it. I'll share it.Dr. Justin: Yeah, please. Absolutely.It's helped so many millions of parents.Sarah: Yeah.Well, I love that we've connected across the world—from the other side of the world to each other—and I look forward to hopefully talking to you again in March of 2027 when your book Boys comes out.I figured we were going to talk about that, but we had such a lovely conversation about peaceful parenting, discipline, and—oh my God, it's gone right out of my head—Dr. Justin: Self-determination theory.Sarah: Self-determination theory.I think it was a really great conversation, and I really appreciate you sharing all of your experience and wisdom.Dr. Justin: I loved the conversation.Like I said, it was too one-sided. I wish we'd been able to go backward and forward a bit more, but let's do it again.Let's chat again next year when the book comes out, and we'll talk about boys and how to help them.There's so much talk about toxic masculinity.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: Wouldn't it be great if we could give them a view of healthy masculinity—a model of that to follow?That's what my book is all about: how we can guide boys into a healthy form of masculinity.Sarah: Well, for folks in Australia, your book is coming out in June 2026. For folks in North America, it's not coming out until spring 2027.So I will definitely be ringing you up and having you come back on to talk about the book when you've got your North American release. I know we're going to have a great conversation then.Before I let you go, though, I have a question that I ask all my podcast guests:If you had a time machine and you could go back and tell your younger parent self something, what advice would you give yourself?Dr. Justin: Jean-Jacques Rousseau said there is—I can't remember the quote exactly—but: What wisdom is there that is greater than kindness?I've paraphrased it. It's not perfect, but it's something along those lines.Interestingly, Rousseau had, I think, five children—maybe six—and he put them all into orphanages somewhere in the first 18 months of their lives so he could spend more time writing and focusing on how to be a good person, which I just find criminal. I can't believe it.So take it for what it's worth, but “What wisdom is there that's greater than kindness?” is what Rousseau said.I've mentioned this idea of soft eyes a couple of times. If I could go back, I would teach myself about kindness. I'd teach myself about many of the things we've talked about today.But I just want to quickly share the story of soft eyes.As an academic, I want everything I say to be evidence-based. There is no evidence that I'm aware of where people have done any kind of randomized controlled trial where parents are asked to interact with their children with soft eyes, neutral eyes, hard eyes, or anything like that.Soft eyes is this idea—I was giving a presentation at a public library one time, and an elderly lady stepped into the back of the room, sat down, and listened to the last 25 or 30 minutes of my presentation. She must have liked what she could hear from the corridor outside, and she stepped in to listen.After everybody had left, she walked over to me and said, “I really enjoyed what you shared. I'd love to tell you something my grandmother said to me.”So we're going back into the early 1900s.Her grandmother said, “Whenever you're talking to your children about matters of discipline, make sure you have soft eyes.”And I thought, I really like that.Because if you try to have a conversation with somebody and your eyes are soft, you just can't say mean things. You can't say harsh things. You can't have harsh thoughts.If you soften your eyes, your face softens and your heart softens. You have this beautiful compassion and kindness, this ability to see the best in them rather than the worst in them, to assume positive intent.There's something gorgeous about soft eyes.So I would go back and quote Rousseau better than I just quoted him to you, and I would tell my younger self that soft eyes will make a tremendous impact on all of my relationships.Sarah: Ah.There's an American—I don't know if you've heard of him in Australia—but he's a pretty well-known marriage counselor, Terry Real.Dr. Justin: Oh, yeah. I quote him in my book.Sarah: Yeah, yeah. He does a lot of work about—well, he says something like, “There's nothing that harshness can accomplish that kindness can't accomplish better.”Dr. Justin: That's so beautiful.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Dr. Justin: Thank you. That's inspiring. I'm so glad you shared that.Sarah: Yeah. I love it.It's hard to remember, but I think it is true. And I wish that—and I know the world needs a dose of that right now.Dr. Justin: Yeah. Yeah.Sarah: One hundred percent.Well, thank you so much.Where's the best place for folks to go and find out more about you and what you do?Dr. Justin: Probably my podcast, the Happy Families Podcast. My wife and I drop a 15-minute nugget of parenting wisdom every day, five days a week.Sarah: Oh, wow!Dr. Justin: Yeah. It's a lot of content, but it's bite-sized chunks, and it's entertaining. We're fun. We get to do it together.And the Happy Families Podcast. I've got a website called happyfamilies.com.au, but basically, if you like what we've talked about—Sarah: We'll link to all of that in the show notes. We'll link to your website and your podcast, and I'm sure it's easy to find you.Dr. Justin: That sounds great. Thanks, Sarah.Sarah: Thank you so much.Dr. Justin: What a great, great conversation. Lovely to be with you.Reimagine Peaceful Parenting with Sarah Rosensweet Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sarahrosensweet.substack.com/subscribe

AI can write your emails. It can research your market, design your book cover, and draft your sales page. What it cannot do is be held responsible for any of it. In this episode, Igor makes two sharp arguments for why anyone who communicates directly with an audience is not going anywhere. One is practical and rooted in accountability. The other is harder to quantify but just as real: AI cannot actually feel a thing, and deep down, your readers know it.

AI can write your emails. It can research your market, design your book cover, and draft your sales page. What it cannot do is be held responsible for any of it. In this episode, Igor makes two sharp arguments for why anyone who communicates directly with an audience is not going anywhere. One is practical and rooted in accountability. The other is harder to quantify but just as real: AI cannot actually feel a thing, and deep down, your readers know it.

In this important message, Avi Abelow exposes the deeper story behind the recent controversy surrounding an IDF soldier punished for wearing a “Mashiach” patch on his uniform. Was this really about military regulations and uniform policy or does it reveal a much larger battle over the Jewish identity and future direction of the State of Israel?As Jew-hating antisemitism and anti-Israel propaganda explode around the world, including shocking modern blood libels in major international media outlets, something very different is happening inside Israel itself. A new generation of proud Jewish Israelis is rising. Young soldiers are openly embracing Jewish identity, Jewish destiny, and the spiritual mission of the Jewish people in our ancestral homeland. Across Israel today, young people wave Temple flags, wear shirts depicting a rebuilt Temple in Jerusalem, and proudly display Mashiach patches as symbols of Jewish pride and redemption.Join Our Whatsapp Channel: https://chat.whatsapp.com/GkavRznXy731nxxRyptCMvFollow us on Twitter: https://x.com/AviAbelowJoin our Telegram Channel: https://t.me/aviabelowpulseFollow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pulse_of_israel/?hl=enPulse of Israel on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/IsraelVideoNetworkVisit Our Website - https://pulseofisrael.com/Donate to Pulse of Israel: https://pulseofisrael.com/boost-this-video/

Ken Shreve and Justin Nielsen walk through Monday's market action and discuss key stocks to watch in Stock Market Today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Q and Walt discuss ‘Punisher: One Last Kill, Jimmy and Mychele get hitched, Tom vs his wife, is Bry Bald!?, serial killer exhibit, Dungeon Crawler Carl. https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/tesd

James Lasdun describes the Murdaugh family's century-long dominance of South Carolina's legal system. He compares Alex's betrayal of trust and embezzlement to the intimate crimes punished in Dante's deepest circles of hell. (10/16)1920 CHARLESTON

Alex Murdaugh's double murder conviction is overturned, sending shockwaves through one of the biggest true crime cases in America. Joe Pags breaks down what happens next and why the ruling could completely reshape the case. Then, Rep. Wesley Hunt tears apart the “Jim Crow 2.0” narrative surrounding voting laws and redistricting. Plus, Tennessee Democrats lose House committee seats after redistricting protests, and Pags explains why he says the move was about conduct — not race — despite outrage from the left. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tormenters trying ruin minor mental health victory-how when being vulnerable you have to prepare for vultures-done with the mind games-how future cogs won't be able to handle their future Ls-powerful ppl only interested in ppl Im interested in-future enemies and sacrifices-making incel types nervous advocating for women-spying on therapy sessions and journal entries-mentally unwell cogs not getting their mental checked -going cold hearted when they push me-don't gossip about others to connect-how the game destroys friendships-women bosses-messing with my mental health—Troll spying and threatening-clone versions-worst time in my life to try and trigger me when Im able to do it-dealing with illuminati's junior varsity class-mentally empowering me w these tactics-last resort attempts to break me-being honest and speaking from the heart-the elite's aesthetic means nothing if my mental health triggers ppl who will never get better-intimidating me in how to write in my journal entry-exposition of tactics used against me-incels not wanting women to be seen as equals-trying to push me back into depression-internalized misogyny-willing to give up comedy but will keep showing up like George Costanza—maybe wasting time advocating-closeted conservatives- I try to build ppl up in a world where they want to tear everyone down-fake freedom of speech-more impossible tests-cogs pit against me will lose mental battle long term-perks won't help-Howard Stern's tactics-weaponized sex-get used to being alone-trying to improve mental health- freedom of choice-would've chosen Chelsea Handler to be my boss over Howard Stern-Akademiks-Verzus-Drake storylines before album- in depth recap of Kevin Hart roast and WWE presentation of comedy-Euphoria-New music-TKO-MVP vs HHH-TNA-booking structure-MTG AOC Ana Kasparian-scripted viral moments-Hasan influence-Tump-culture war product placement

GOOD LORD! Today's stories are scary! Be transparent people. TODAY on the SHOW, Johnjays boys are at it again and BLAKE almost got PUNISHED as a result. Then, let's catch up on a TON of advice needed now that Johnjay is back. Joy, Keanna, Simone - all valid for needing our help. Then, Nic has a Disney Game for Demi Tickets.... kinda? Technically? He's of an "elder" Disney generation LMAOOO. Plus, REMEMBER THE TIME and KYLES PUPPY UPDATE!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode of Badass Basic Bitch, Brianna sits down with journalist and author Stefanie O'Connell to unpack the hidden double standards women still face in the workplace — despite decades of “girl power” messaging.Stefanie shares insights from her new book, The Ambition Penalty: How Corporate Culture Tells Women to Step Up — and Then Pushes Them Down, exploring how women are often encouraged to be ambitious, confident, assertive, and outspoken… only to face backlash the moment they actually are.Together, Brianna and Stefanie dive into the systemic realities behind the gender pay gap, workplace bias, leadership dynamics, negotiation myths, and the emotional toll of constantly being told women simply need to “lean in” harder. This conversation is validating, eye-opening, and deeply relevant for any woman who has ever felt punished for taking up space.In This Episode, We Talk About:•Why confidence alone doesn't close the gender pay gap•The hidden backlash women face for negotiating salaries•How ambition is perceived differently in men vs. women•The “girl boss” myth and why empowerment messaging can be misleading•Why women are often penalized for leadership traits rewarded in men•Workplace systems that quietly reinforce inequality•The emotional impact of internalizing professional rejection•Why collective power and community matter more than ever•How tokenism in leadership affects women at every level•The difference between individual empowerment and systemic changeMemorable Moments From the Episode•Stefanie shares the story that inspired her research: a woman who lost a job offer simply for negotiating her salary.•Brianna opens up about being denied a raise, quitting her corporate job, and ultimately building a multimillion-dollar business.•A powerful discussion around why women are conditioned to blame themselves instead of questioning broken systems.•Stefanie explains how workplaces often shift “what matters” depending on who holds the qualifications.About Stefanie O'ConnellStefanie O'Connell is a journalist focused on debunking the myths that keep women from equal pay, leadership, and power — one data point at a time. She has spent over a decade reporting on women, work, money, and inequality.Her new book, The Ambition Penalty: How Corporate Culture Tells Women to Step Up — and Then Pushes Them Down, examines the disconnect between empowerment messaging and the realities women face in modern workplaces.Connect with Stefanie•Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stefanieoconnell/•TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@stefaniemoconnell•Newsletter/Substack: https://tooambitious.substack.com/•Book: https://tooambitious.com/book/Follow the PodcastFollow Badass Basic Bitch on Instagram for updates, behind-the-scenes content, and new episodes:•Instagram: @badassbasicbitchIf you loved this episode, share it with a friend, leave a review, and subscribe so you never miss a conversation.

In this episode of The Punished Podcast, we discuss the past, present, and future of games media and journalism. The post The Punished Podcast: Episode 27 – Video Games Media appeared first on The Punished Backlog.

On today's episode of The Therapy Crouch, the Portugal trip rolls on as the gang battle through hangovers, questionable decisions and some seriously strong opinions on relationships. After a heavy night, the boys are feeling it as they dive into everything from airport pints and junk food cravings to the strange “punishment” dynamic that can creep into relationships after having a bit too much fun.Things quickly spiral into one of the funniest and most chaotic ick discussions yet – including a barber chair moment that might just be the greatest ick of all time. The team also tackle your dilemmas, from navigating life after a breakup to whether giving your ex money after winning the lottery makes you a terrible person… or just a decent human being.Plus, in Am I The A**hole, things get heated as the group debate workplace drama, relationship boundaries and the fine line between banter and going too far.If you want to submit an Agony Ab to the podcast - hit the link belowhttps://docs.google.com/forms/d/1rAKDST4HU_8al_aWpOlys3TRJrWvDV-84piVdlOOjU4/edit00:00 Introduction / Hangover Fallout 01:42 Service Station Food & Matcha Rant 04:04 Bovril, Football & Stadium Rules 06:28 Random Chat & Set-Up 07:05 You Had Fun? Now You're Punished 10:15 Listener Messages Begin 10:46 Barber Chair Story (All-Time Moment) 13:40 “That's What I Do” & Tangents 16:22 Agony Ab: Newly Single Advice 19:50 Transition / Segment Change 20:00 Am I The A**hole Returns 20:31 Lottery Win & Ex-Wife Drama 23:50 Debate: Is He In The Wrong? 25:45 “Tig Bitties” Story 28:15 Naming Kids & Inappropriate Jokes 28:20 Workplace Drama: Slim vs Chunky 32:00 Body Comments Debate 34:30 Escalation / Final Thoughts on TopicTo contact us:Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/ @thetherapycrouchWebsite: https://thetherapycrouch.com/For more from Peterhttps://twitter.com/petercrouchFor more from Abbeyhttps://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancyOur clips channelhttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this unbelievable story from The Jubal Show, a 9-year-old boy turns a punishment into a massive payday—and it all started with a moment of pure childhood rebellion. What began as a threat to “embarrass” his parents quickly turned into something no one saw coming.

Ever do something for a good reason but it goes terribly wrong? CAUSE SAME! Also thank you to our sponsor for today: ASPCA Pet Health Insurance https://www.aspcapetinsurance.com/rachel Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A 72-year-old man in Wisconsin just did something the state never expected… He tested their election system. Not with hacking tools. Not with insider access. Just a name… and a date of birth. That’s all it took for Harry Wait to request absentee ballots belonging to some of the most powerful officials in Wisconsin, including the Democrat Mayor of Racine and the Republican Speaker of the State Assembly. Let that sink in. Ballots… sent out… based on publicly available information. And when those ballots arrived? He didn’t vote them. He didn’t hide them. He turned them over to authorities. He exposed what he says is a massive vulnerability inside Wisconsin’s “My Vote” system, one that, he proved, could be exploited by anyone with basic information. But instead of being thanked… Instead of the system being fixed… Harry Wait was charged. Prosecuted. Convicted. Now he’s facing up to 7 years in prison. This is what Democrats do, they punish the good guys, especially if they are Republicans exposing Democrat inspired election fraud. Today, I walk you through exactly what Harry Wait did and what this means for election integrity going forward.

The Orlando Pride just suffered a stinging 3-2 loss on the road against Racing Louisville, and we are not holding back. Despite a massive performance from Barbra Banda, who bagged a brace to bring her season total to 5 goals, defensive lapses in the second half cost them dearly. We're breaking down the film: Was it a lack of focus after the half, or was the backline under too much pressure?

Order your From Burnout To Becoming Workbook Here : https://www.imieshiadanielle.com/shopJoin The Becoming Intensive: https://www.imieshiadanielle.com/intwaitRobbie Cade Furdge shares how broken trust, disappointment, grief, and unhealthy communication can quietly shape the way we lead, love, and relate to the people around us. She opens up about what it looks like when people who were hurt in one place begin bleeding on people who did not cut them, and why healing has to happen if relationships are ever going to become healthy again.In this episode of Between Me and You, Robbie talks honestly about the impact of disappointment and how unresolved pain can spill into leadership, finances, marriage, family, and everyday relationships. She explains how people often develop trust issues, control issues, and unhealthy patterns because of wounds that were never properly addressed, and how those patterns can end up costing the wrong people.

New York in the 1840's was a wild and fascinating burgeoning metropolis with many opportunities, not all good. Mary Rogers was known as "The Beautiful Cigar Girl,' working at a local smoke shop as the owner said her beauty brough in many customers. Mary's mother had opened up her house to boarding after Mary's father died in a tragic steamboat accident. It was mother and daughter trying to get along doing what they needed to do. Mary's beauty was so renowned at the time that James Fennimore Cooper wrote a poem about her that was published in the New York Herald. In 1841 Mary told her mother and fiancee Daniel Payne that she was taking a short boat ride to visit her aunt. But she never returned. She was found 3 days later floating in the Hudson River. What happened to Mary? Her life inspired Edgar Allen Poe to write "The Mystery of Marie Roget," changing Mary's name and making her life in Paris instead of New York Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Let's have some fun. On today's episode of The CLS Experience we have a mini-sode. Dive into the idea that the discomfort you feel as you grow is not punishment, it is proof that you are expanding beyond who you used to be. Explore the concept of the vessel and understand how you are meant to receive more as you expand your capacity, not shrink to stay comfortable. Discover why the desires that keep showing up in your life are not random, but signals pointing you toward what is already available for you. Challenge yourself to stop ignoring what is calling you forward and decide whether you will expand to meet it or retreat into familiarity. Let's go deep.0:59 Desire as Revelation2:19 Expand or Stay Comfortable3:11 Sharing Your Gifts4:43 Vision for Three YearsEarly Bird Tickets now available for our October live event, CLS: Formation HERE:To join our community click here.➤ To connect with Craig Siegel follow Craig on Instagram➤ Order a copy of my new book The Reinvention Formula today! ➤ Join our CLS texting community for free daily inspiration and business strategies to elevate your day, text (917) 634-3796➤ INSTAGRAM➤ FACEBOOK➤ TIKTOK➤ YOUTUBE➤ WEBSITE➤ LINKEDIN➤ X

Tulsi Gabbard has uncovered another massive deep state scandal. This comes as the Trump DOJ punished attorneys in a separate matter. Jesse Kelly gets reaction to all this from John Solomon and AAG Harmeet Dhillon. Plus, a conversation with Kevin Roberts of the Heritage Foundation.I'm Right with Jesse Kelly on The First TVChoq: Visit https://choq.com/jessetv for a 17.76% discount on your CHOQ subscription for lifePureTalk: Save on wireless with PureTalk visit https://PureTalk.com/JESSETVFollow The Jesse Kelly Show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheJesseKellyShowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's the first edition of our updated Power Rankings and Mick McCarthy, Matthew Brennan and Tommy Rooney are in situ to go through where teams fall this week as well as our Hawkeye moment of the week. The Power Rankings on Off The Ball, with Harvey Norman, Official Stats Sponsor of the GAA.

Professor Richard Wiseman wanted to discover the world's #1 chat-up line.  But in doing so, he discovered several secrets behind human psychology.  On today's Nudge he covers:  1) Why councils shouldn't pay people to sweep litter  2) How a saleswoman doubled her likeability  3) The picture Richard uses to never lose his wallet  4) And the #1 chat-up line  --- Richard's book Quirkology: https://amzn.to/4shYOJ6  Richard's book 59 Seconds: https://amzn.to/3Pf9pWI  Richard's SubStack: https://richardwiseman.substack.com/  Join 11,934 readers of the Nudge Newsletter: https://www.nudgepodcast.com/mailing-list Unlock the Nudge Vaults: https://www.nudgepodcast.com/vaults Connect on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/phill-agnew/  --- Aronson, E., Willerman, B., & Floyd, J. (1966). The effect of a pratfall on increasing interpersonal attractiveness. Psychonomic Science, 4, 227–228. Hornstein, H. A., Fisch, E., & Holmes, M. (1968). Influence of a model's feeling about his behavior and his relevance as a comparison on other observers' helping behavior. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 10(3), 222–226. Kohn, A. (1993). Punished by rewards: The trouble with gold stars, incentive plans, A's, praise, and other bribes. Boston: Houghton Mifflin. Lepper, M. R., Greene, D., & Nisbett, R. E. (1973). Undermining children's intrinsic interest with extrinsic reward: A test of the “overjustification” hypothesis. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 28, 129–137.

A viral trend called “FAFO parenting” is exploding on TikTok and even making headlines in the Wall Street Journal. Advocates say it’s the antidote to “soft” parenting — let kids fuss around and find out the hard way. But is this tough-love comeback really preparing kids for life or setting them up for harm? In this episode, Justin and Kylie unpack the hype, the dangers, and the research-backed alternative every parent needs to hear. In this episode: What FAFO (“Fuss Around and Find Out”) parenting actually looks like — and why it’s trending The three big claims FAFO parents make Why FAFO backfires The vital difference between natural consequences and manufactured hardships How “need-supportive parenting” builds resilience without breaking trust QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “Discipline isn’t about hurting kids to prove a point. It’s about problem-solving so they can discover the lesson.” RESOURCES MENTIONED Wall Street Journal article on FAFO parenting (subscription required) Alfie Kohn, Punished by Rewards More parenting resources: happyfamilies.com.au ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Resist the temptation to outsource learning to punishment. When mistakes happen, guide your child through problem-solving instead of powerplays. Protect the parent–child relationship — resilience grows best where trust is strong. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

John 1:19You might like to get some copies of The Lightning-Fast Field Guide to the Bible for yourself and for others - here's a link that gets TMBH a little kickback: https://amzn.to/4pEYSS9Thanks to everyone who supports TMBH at patreon.com/thetmbhpodcastYou're the reason we can all do this together!Discuss the episode hereMusic by Jeff Foote

History has a word for queens who had opinions and refused to be managed. Today we're looking at three of them across three centuries - Eleanor of Aquitaine, Empress Matilda, and Isabella of France - and asking whether "scandalous" means what history wants us to think it means. Eleanor governed, went on crusade, backed her sons against her husband, and got locked in a tower for sixteen years. Henry II never divorced her because Aquitaine went with her. That one fact tells you everything. Matilda had a legitimate claim to the English throne, backed by three sworn oaths from the English nobility. She fought a civil war for six years, won the decisive battle, and came within weeks of her coronation before London rioted and drove her out. History called her arrogant. The chronicles used language for her they would never use for a king doing the same things. Isabella spent twenty years being publicly humiliated by Edward II, had her lands confiscated, watched her children taken from her household -- then went to France on a diplomatic mission and simply didn't come back. She raised an army, removed a failing king, and installed her son on the throne. History called her the She-Wolf of France. That label was borrowed from Shakespeare, applied originally to a completely different queen, and stuck on Isabella by a single poem written four hundred years after her death. Three queens. Three centuries. One verdict: too much. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Judd and AJ discuss the Wild's loss to the Bruins on Saturday and share thoughts on the team's slow start and failed comeback. Is it time for a Marcus Johansson reset? How concerning are these starts with just 8 games left in the season? Has Kirill Kaprizov's play been noticeable worse since returning from injury? Plus more on JHS!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

America's two-tiered justice system seems to unfairly punish the innocent while letting the egregiously criminal always get away with it.... until now. 70 hospice centers in LA County are being unfunded and investigated as Fraud Czar JD Vance unleashes an AI system to track down the criminals. RFK Jr says HHS employees under Joe Biden were told to ignore fraud and rush to enroll as many social services recipients as possible. Men are walking away from democrats... but they're also leaving Team Trump.  

Does it ever feel like God is punishing you? This week, Kylen Perry walks us through the familiar story of Noah's Ark and the flood in Genesis 6-7 to highlight not the punitive actions of God, but His heart to redeem His creation. We have the same invitation to redemption today.