Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

Think teens can’t have fun without booze? Think again. In this episode of I’ll Do Better Tomorrow, Justin and Kylie share the behind-the-scenes of hosting an 18th birthday that was loud, laughter-filled - and completely alcohol-free. From a $9.99 Bunnings “doorbell hack” every parent of a gamer needs, to setting clear boundaries that still let kids feel free, you’ll hear how the Coulson's created connection and unforgettable memories without the hangover. KEY POINTS The $9.99 Bunnings wireless doorbell that stops the endless “DINNER!” yelling at teens in headphones. How to host a high-energy, alcohol-free party teens actually rave about. Teaching kids they don’t need substances to have fun or belong. Using “I’ll Do Better Tomorrow” reflections to guide weekly family growth. A fresh take on schooling: why one daughter chose a vocational “industry school” and how alternative pathways (and gap years) can set kids up for success. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE“Life is long. If the standard path isn’t working, stop forcing your child to fit something that doesn’t fit.” – Dr Justin Coulson RESOURCES MENTIONED Register interest for Justin’s upcoming Boys book here Study proves the importance of dads teaching sex education to their sons | Will & Woody A $10 Doorbell Stopped Me Yelling At My Teen | Lise & Sarah Study links a gap year to better university grades | The Conversation Gap Years, ATAR Myths & the Real Path to Success After School [with Amy Dyer] - Happy Families Podcast ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Model Substance-Free Fun: Show your teen that great parties don’t need alcohol. Set Clear, Kind Boundaries: Explain expectations up front—then let your kids rise to meet them. Explore Alternate School Paths: Investigate vocational schools, traineeships, or gap years if the traditional system isn’t serving your child. Create Simple Connection Cues: Try the wireless doorbell or another gentle way to call your teen without yelling. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

There's a lot of stuff out there about kids being bored, and not all of it is correct. Today, a deep dive into kids being bored, and whether it is actually good or bad. Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Is your child’s screen time spiralling—and every conversation about it ends in a fight? Professor Wayne Warburton, leading psychologist and researcher, reveals how apps and games are deliberately engineered to hook young brains. He explains the hidden neuroscience of addiction, what excessive screen use does to a child’s emotional regulation and attention, and how parents can reclaim calm without all-out war. If you’ve ever wondered why your tween melts down when you say “time’s up,” this episode is a must-listen. KEY POINTS Why modern apps use gambling-style tactics and AI to keep kids scrolling. How heavy screen use weakens the prefrontal cortex—the part of the brain that manages focus, planning, and emotional control. Simple, science-backed steps to reset family screen habits and return kids to the “driver’s seat.” Practical advice for conversations that don’t turn into shouting matches. Why social connection doesn’t have to mean social media. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE“It’s not your child’s fault—or yours. These products are built to be addictive. The goal is to put your child back in the driver’s seat, not the screen.” — Dr Wayne Warburton RESOURCES MENTIONED Dr Wayne Warburton’s books Growing Up Fast and Furious and The Importance of Media Literacy HappyFamilies.com.au for family screen-plan templates and parenting resources ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Choose the right moment: Discuss screens only when everyone is calm and offline. Externalise the problem: Frame it as “us versus the tech designers,” not parent versus child. Co-create a plan: Involve kids in setting screen limits and consequences; write it down. Build healthy replacements: Help kids identify offline ways to cope with boredom, anxiety, or stress. Model balance: Show your own healthy screen habits—your example speaks louder than rules. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Do you really trust your teen to manage their phone—and the algorithm—alone? In this episode, Justin and Kylie Coulson tackle a Gold Coast mum’s burning question: should parents rely on filtering apps or on trust? Justin shares his eye-opening experiment pretending to be a teenage boy on Instagram (and what the algorithm served up), while Kylie explains why this isn’t just a “trust” issue—it’s a maturity issue. Together they reveal how to set limits that actually protect kids, build accountability, and still keep the relationship strong. Key Points Why filters aren’t foolproof—and why blind trust is even riskier The hidden danger of “friendly” algorithms that quickly escalate to violent or explicit content Justin’s experiment that turned his feed dark in just two weeks The 3 E’s of Effective Discipline: Explore, Explain, Empower How to create family tech agreements that work—and stick Quote of the Episode “We say we don’t like the restraints, but we actually need them. Just like a roller-coaster harness, limits keep our kids safe when life turns upside down.” – Justin Coulson Resources Mentioned Managing Screens at Home [Webinar] Included in the Happy Families membership. Action Steps for Parents Audit together: Sit with your teen and explore what their algorithms are serving them. Set limits, not locks: Use filters as one layer, but focus on ongoing conversations. Use the 3 E’s: Explore their perspective, Explain your concerns, Empower them to co-create safe screen habits. Find your village: Connect with like-minded parents to make consistent boundaries easier. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Your sweet preschooler just turned into a pint-sized whirlwind—kicking, screaming, and even hitting.Before you panic or punish, listen in. Dr Justin and Kylie Coulson unpack why three-year-olds lash out, why it’s actually developmentally normal, and the calm, practical steps that help them (and you) find peace. Key Points Why hitting at age three is common—and not a sign you’re raising a violent teen. The real drivers: big emotions, low impulse control, limited language. Three core responses: stay regulated, set clear limits, redirect with movement or creative outlets. After the storm: empathic conversations and rehearsal for “next time.” Prevention tips: check the HALTS (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired, Stressed) and keep screen time low. Quote of the Episode “Regulating emotions is harder than learning to walk or tie shoelaces. Your job is to stay the adult while your child learns.” – Dr Justin Coulson Resources Mentioned Little People, Big Feelings [Webinar] – practical tools for parents of toddlers and preschoolers. Little People, Big Feelings [The Summit] Action Steps for Parents Stay calm—model the regulation you want your child to learn. State the boundary—“We have gentle hands. Hitting hurts.” Redirect energy—offer drawing, movement, or grounding games. Debrief later—when calm, problem-solve and rehearse next time. Check the basics—food, sleep, connection, and screen habits. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What will your kids remember most about you? It’s probably not what you think… Ever felt Father’s Day pressure - the gifts, the expectations, the hope it all comes together? In this episode, Justin & Kylie open up about low expectations, the best Father’s Day prank ever, and the moments that mattered most. From frisbee at the beach to chaotic family games, to the one phrase Justin’s kids say defined their childhood, this conversation is raw, funny, and surprisingly moving. KEY POINTS: Why one Aussie school pushed back against iPads in primary years Sabrina Carpenter’s new album NOT for children The tie prank that left every dad at church matching Why simple, spontaneous family time beats curated “perfect” events “Push Dad off the Bed” - the family game still loved by teens and young adults The phrase Justin’s kids treasure most: People matter. Things don’t. RESOURCES MENTIONED: Happy Families Website Send us a voice memo: podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au KPop Demon Hunters on Netflix ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Keep celebrations simple - the memories matter more than the details. Find playful traditions (even silly ones) that bring everyone together. When things go wrong, remind your kids: people matter, things don’t. Give your children more of the one gift they’ll always want - your time. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When cookbook author and influencer Sarah’s holiday plans with her 6-year-old were suddenly stamped “unauthorised,” it lit up headlines — and sparked a question every parent asks: Is a week off school really that big a deal? In this episode, Justin and Kylie dive into the tug-of-war between school rules and family priorities. Do term-time holidays harm learning, or can real-life experiences sometimes matter more? You’ll hear the research, the rules (state by state), and the reality for families just trying to make it work. KEY POINTS The viral story that sparked the debate: Sarah’s denied leave mid-flight. Why rules vary wildly depending on your postcode (NSW vs. QLD vs. VIC). What the research really says about missing school — even just a few days. The cost factor: why many families can’t afford school-holiday travel. When family connection, culture, and life experience outweigh the timetable. Practical tips for working with schools to find a middle ground. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE "The real question isn’t about holidays — it’s whether we trust parents to make wise, nuanced decisions for their kids." – Justin Coulson RESOURCES MENTIONED Happy Families Website Connect with us on Instagram & Facebook ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Check your state’s rules before booking — policies differ widely. Communicate early and respectfully with your child’s school. Choose timing wisely (avoid early weeks, assessment blocks, or transition times). Weigh family priorities — cost, connection, cultural experiences — alongside school routines. Remember the big picture: One week doesn’t define your child’s education. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

School refusal and absence are at crisis levels. More than 40% of students are missing at least 10% of school days — and it’s only getting worse. Behind every statistic is a child struggling with anxiety, chronic illness, or the weight of a system that doesn’t fit. In this powerful conversation, Dr Justin Coulson speaks with Megan Gilmour, CEO of Missing School and 2025 ACT Australian of the Year. Megan’s own son battled a life-threatening illness that kept him from school for years, and her advocacy has since transformed the way we think about education, connection, and support for kids who can’t physically be in the classroom. If you’re worried about your child’s school avoidance — whether from illness, anxiety, or overwhelm — this episode will give you both hope and practical direction. KEY POINTS: Why school absence has skyrocketed since COVID. The hidden costs of missing school: academics, friendships, identity, and mental health. How school avoidance affects the whole family. What digital connection and flexible solutions can look like for struggling students. Why the current school model isn’t fit for today’s kids — and what needs to change. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: “Wherever school absence starts — illness, anxiety, or overwhelm — the long-term impacts on a child’s wellbeing and future are profound. Connection is everything.” – Megan Gilmour RESOURCES MENTIONED: Missing School School Refusal [HF Article] #533 Emotion Based School Avoidance [HF Podcast Episode] ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Notice the early signs of school avoidance — and take them seriously. Keep the focus on connection, not just attendance. Explore flexible options, including digital classroom access, where possible. Seek support: schools can and must accommodate differences. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What do you do when your child’s confidence starts to look like bragging? Today’s tricky parenting question comes from Joanna, whose 12-year-old daughter is bright, kind, and wonderfully self-assured—but sometimes her enthusiasm feels a little too much. In this episode, Justin and Kylie unpack how to nurture confidence while gently guiding kids toward humility and social awareness. You’ll hear practical ways to help your child celebrate others, avoid “showing off,” and learn through natural experiences—without squashing their spirit. KEY POINTS: Why confidence in tweens is precious (and why most kids lose it) The difference between being “interesting” vs. being “interested” Teaching kids to be “people builders” instead of show-offs The power of teachable moments over lectures How unconditional love helps kids learn from their own mistakes QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: “Confidence is precious. We don’t want to dampen it—but we can guide kids to use it in ways that lift others up.” RESOURCES MENTIONED: Submit your tricky question: happyfamilies.com.au/podcasts ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Celebrate your child’s confidence—don’t squash it. Encourage them to notice and cheer for others’ successes. Use quiet, reflective conversations after social moments as teaching opportunities. Frame discussions around being a good friend and including others. Be the “soft place to land” when friendships hit bumps. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Childcare scandals. Social media bans. Kids spending nine hours a day glued to screens. As Child Protection Week shines a spotlight on children’s safety, parents are asking: How do I really protect my kids — both online and in real life? Dr Justin Coulson speaks with Dr Katrina Lines, CEO of Act for Kids, about shocking new research and simple ways families can protect kids online and in real life. KEY POINTS: Why removing men from childcare is not the solution — and what really needs to change. Surprising new research: kids actually prefer time with family over screens. Why kids resist screen limits but thrive when they finally log off. How to “meet in the middle” by joining kids in their online world. Preparing your family for the upcoming social media age ban. Simple daily strategies to create real-life connection, even in busy households. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: “This is the important stuff — not the cooking, not the laundry — but listening and being present with our kids.” — Dr Katrina Lines RESOURCES MENTIONED: Act for Kids: Let’s Connect IRL Happy Families Resources ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Create small daily “connection moments” — in the car, over dinner, or while cooking. Join your child occasionally in their online world to build trust and safety. Open conversations now about the upcoming social media age ban — listen, don’t dismiss. Plan one weekly family activity that everyone can look forward to. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From Father’s Day feels to Taylor Swift’s big news, Roblox lawsuits, and the surprising lessons hidden in K-Pop Demon Hunters—this Friday episode is packed. Plus, in I’ll Do Better Tomorrow, we get raw about surrender, parenting guilt, and why kids really do spell love T-I-M-E. KEY POINTS: Father’s Day joy (and the best gift dads actually want) Taylor Swift’s engagement & what it’s sparking worldwide Roblox under fire: lawsuits, safety concerns & why parents should care K-Pop Demon Hunters craze—what kids love & what families can learn “I’ll Do Better Tomorrow”: surrendering control, parenting while overworked, and finding peace in presence RESOURCES: Free Father's Day Download: 'Me & My Dad' Activity Book ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Celebrate Father’s Day with connection, not things—walks, hugs, shared meals. Stay alert to Roblox news; check your child’s settings and talk about online safety. If your kids are into K-Pop Demon Hunters, watch it with them—ask what they love and listen. Reflect: where can you let go of control and lean into connection this week? See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From the Doctor's Desk today we unpack three studies relevant to parents and families. First, an intervention that could decrease the likelihood of developing a peanut allergy by 71% (N.B. we are not sharing medical advice!). The second study - another intervention involving a 2-week screen-free media reduction for participants, with fantastic results! And the third, a study looking at differences between neurotypical and neurodivergent responses to touch, and some helpful tips for parents of neurodivergent children when it comes to understanding and navigating these responses. In this episode: Peanut allergies The danger of becoming risk-adverse Screen Media Use and Mental Health of Children and Adolescents: A Secondary Analysis of a Randomized Clinical Trial | Media and Youth | JAMA Network Open A happier child in 2 weeks? Emotional dysregulation Parental responsibility with screens Follow-up to Adolescence after Early Peanut Introduction for Allergy Prevention | NEJM Evidence Why touch matters Sensory issues, autism Differences in neurodivergent vs neurotypical response to touch Consent Autonomic and hedonic response to affective touch in autism spectrum disorder - Capiotto - 2024 - Autism Research - Wiley Online Library Relevant Links: Tech giants are ANTI-kids Unplug Childhood - join the village today #1016 – From The Doctor’s Desk: Touch Good, Anger Bad Find us on Facebook Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletterSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Exams, ATARs, scaling, university preferences—no wonder Year 12 feels overwhelming. But what if success doesn’t come down to one number? In this episode, Dr Justin Coulson is joined by careers counsellor Amy Dyer to unpack the myths around scaling, ATAR pressure, gap years, trades, and vocational pathways. If your teen feels lost—or if you’re a parent caught in the stress—this conversation will help you breathe easier and see the bigger picture. KEY POINTS: Scaling and ATARs: what really matters (and what doesn’t). Achievement, capability, enjoyment - what is success? Burnout in young people after school Why a gap year can be the best choice for mental health and clarity. The hidden value of vocational studies and trade careers. How to help kids define success beyond exam scores. Why parents should focus on fit, not prestige, when guiding school and career choices. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:“You’re not supposed to know. You just try. Just be productive. Just do something.” — Dr Justin Coulson RESOURCES MENTIONED: Connect with Amy Dyer More parenting support: happyfamilies.com.au Check out our "Failed at School, Successful at Life" podcast series [episodes #875-879] ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Start conversations about learning styles and interests - not just grades. Normalise multiple pathways: university, TAFE, trades, or gap years. Reduce pressure by reminding your teen that life doesn’t hinge on a single number. Create safe spaces at home for career and study discussions. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

“Everyone else has one!” If you’ve ever heard this plea from your tween about getting a smartphone, you’re not alone. In today’s Q&A episode, Justin and Kylie unpack one dad’s dilemma: a 12-year-old desperate for a phone, parents holding out until Year 8, and the daily battles in between. You’ll hear why one big conversation won’t work, how to keep your child engaged without caving, and three practical strategies to hold the line without losing connection. KEY POINTS Why no single conversation will “solve” the phone debate The 3 E’s of effective discipline (Explore, Explain, Empower) How to use outside voices (content creators, school assignments) to make the case Why it helps to talk with other parents — your child isn’t always “the only one” The ongoing reality: even once they get a phone, the battles don’t stop QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “You don’t just get compliance when kids understand your decision — you get buy-in.” RESOURCES MENTIONED The Parenting Revolution by Dr Justin Coulson Content creators: Jonathan Haidt, Official Herd, Dr Brad Marshall (“The Unplugged Psychologist”), Freya India [Study] Blocking mobile internet on smartphones improves sustained attention, mental health, and subjective well-being ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Keep the conversations ongoing — not one-and-done. Use external voices and resources to reinforce your message. Encourage your child to research and present arguments for and against screens. Connect with other parents to reality-check the “everyone else has one” claim. Focus on understanding and buy-in, not just rules. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Why can’t kids just calm down? Here’s the truth: they’re not supposed to. Expecting children to manage their emotions alone is like expecting them to drive a car before they’ve learned to walk. In this episode, Justin and Kylie bust the biggest parenting myth about big feelings — and share 3 powerful, science-backed strategies you can use in the heat of the moment to help your child ride the emotional waves. KEY POINTS Kids’ brains are on “L-plates” when it comes to emotion regulation — it’s a developmental process. Big feelings are normal, not a sign of “bad behaviour.” Three strategies parents can use: Distraction – helps reset the nervous system. Co-regulation – lending your calm to your child. Pause problem-solving – wait until emotions settle before teaching or fixing. Parents often feel judged when meltdowns happen in public — but compassion (for ourselves and our kids) is the game-changer. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “No one can think clearly in a fire drill — and that’s exactly what trying to reason with a child mid-meltdown is like.” RESOURCES MENTIONED Happy Families resources for parenting strategies & support Little People, Big Feelings Summit See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When a child is upset or angry, it’s easy to think their outburst is about the immediate problem. The real challenge for parents is identifying the deeper emotions driving these reactions. Kylie shares a conversation with her daughter that started as a fight over Roblox but ended with heartfelt tears over a completely different issue. By taking the time to talk with our kids, we can help them uncover the true reasons behind their strong feelings. In this episode: Play dates & Roblox 14 reasons why.... Homeschooling Need for connection Hindenburg Research: Roblox Roblox - a tool for sexual predators The 3 Es of Effective Discipline: Explore, Explain, and Empower Related Links: Keeping kids safe on Roblox Why Your Kids Need a Tribe Supporting Autistic Children Course with Dr Justin Coulson & Dr Joey Lawrence Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Every school talks about teaching mental health, but is it actually helping kids? Or could some programs be doing more harm than good? In this episode, Justin unpacks the latest research on school-based mental health lessons — what works, what doesn’t, and why good intentions aren’t always enough. If you’ve ever wondered whether your child is really benefiting from these classes, this is the conversation you need to hear. KEY POINTS Why mental health lessons don’t always translate into healthier kids The risk of programs that label or pathologise normal emotions What research really shows about long-term impact How parents and teachers can support mental wellbeing in practical, everyday ways QUOTE OF THE EPISODE "We can’t just teach kids about mental health in theory — we have to live it with them in practice." RESOURCES MENTIONED Happy Families Website https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2025/may/20/mental-health-lessons-school-dont-work-mindfulness ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Ask your child what they really think about mental health classes at school. Focus on daily connection — listening, empathy, and open conversations. Model healthy coping strategies at home rather than relying only on school programs. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Boys today are struggling — with school, with purpose, with identity. At the same time, parents are being told that masculinity is toxic — or irrelevant. Are we accidentally raising a generation of young men who feel lost before they’ve even begun? And how do we raise boys who are strong, kind, and confident without making them feel like they’re not enough? In this episode, Justin and Kylie unpack one of the most provocative ideas in parenting boys: surplus value. Drawing on research from Richard Reeves, Scott Galloway, and David Gilmore, they explore why contribution and purpose matter so much for boys’ identity, how to frame it in a healthy way, and why ignoring it leaves our sons vulnerable to destructive alternatives. KEY POINTS Why boys often tie identity to what they contribute rather than just who they are. The difference between unconditional worth at home and purpose in the world. How “surplus value” is not about pressure, but about channeling natural drives into positive contribution. Why society has always “made men” through responsibility and service — and why our boys still need this today. How to talk about contribution without undermining your son’s self-worth. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “Being useful helps boys feel valuable — not because they’re not enough, but because they’re capable of great things.” RESOURCES MENTIONED Of Boys and Men by Richard Reeves Manhood in the Making by David Gilmore Sign up for updates on Justin’s upcoming book Boys → https://happyfamilies.com.au/boys-book-waitlist ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Reassure your son daily: “You matter because you are you.” Create opportunities for him to contribute at home in age-appropriate ways. Talk about purpose and contribution as part of becoming a man — not as pressure, but as an invitation. Watch for signs of directionlessness in the teen years and help channel energy into positive pathways. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Is it ever safe to let your 11- or 12-year-old walk to the park, ride their bike, or visit a friend without you? For many parents, just the thought makes the stomach clench. But here’s the twist: the riskiest thing might be never letting kids take risks at all. In this episode, Justin and Kylie Coulson unpack the independence dilemma that defines modern parenting. You’ll hear why today is the safest time in history for children (despite our fears), how to balance risk and safety, and the practical steps that build confidence — in both kids and parents. KEY POINTS: The difference between danger and risk — and why it matters. Why 24/7 news and social media fuel parental anxiety. How staged independence builds resilience and confidence. The power of community connections in keeping kids safe. Teaching situational awareness instead of “stranger danger.” RESOURCES: More parenting resources at happyfamilies.com.au The Case For Risky Play in an Age of Overprotection [Article] #1198 The Worst Mother Who Got it Right [Podcast Episode]See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A viral trend called “FAFO parenting” is exploding on TikTok and even making headlines in the Wall Street Journal. Advocates say it’s the antidote to “soft” parenting — let kids fuss around and find out the hard way. But is this tough-love comeback really preparing kids for life or setting them up for harm? In this episode, Justin and Kylie unpack the hype, the dangers, and the research-backed alternative every parent needs to hear. In this episode: What FAFO (“Fuss Around and Find Out”) parenting actually looks like — and why it’s trending The three big claims FAFO parents make Why FAFO backfires The vital difference between natural consequences and manufactured hardships How “need-supportive parenting” builds resilience without breaking trust QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “Discipline isn’t about hurting kids to prove a point. It’s about problem-solving so they can discover the lesson.” RESOURCES MENTIONED Wall Street Journal article on FAFO parenting (subscription required) Alfie Kohn, Punished by Rewards More parenting resources: happyfamilies.com.au ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Resist the temptation to outsource learning to punishment. When mistakes happen, guide your child through problem-solving instead of powerplays. Protect the parent–child relationship — resilience grows best where trust is strong. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

One-on-one time transforms parent-child relationships, but finding that time can seem impossible. Discover the revolutionary monthly date system that's helping parents create deeper connections with each child—and why being truly present matters more than what you actually do together. Key Points: Monthly one-on-one dates based on birth date Importance of intentional planning vs spontaneous moments Value of side-by-side conversations Impact of being fully present vs autopilot parenting How structured time leads to deeper conversations Quote of the Episode: "The definition of love is bearing witness to one another's lives." Key Insights: Advance planning makes experiences more meaningful Side-by-side activities encourage natural conversation Removing distractions deepens connection Multiple possible futures reduce anxiety about paths Intentional time creates space for vulnerable conversations Resources Mentioned: Laura King's research on "best possible future self" Monthly birthday date system concept Broaden perspectives on career/life paths Calendar blocking for intentional connection Action Steps for Parents: Schedule Monthly Dates: Mark each child's birth date on calendar Plan activities in advance Make them non-negotiable appointments Customise for each child's interests Create Quality Experiences: Remove distractions (phones, etc.) Choose side-by-side activities Allow natural conversation flow Make it special but not elaborate Be Fully Present: Practice active listening Avoid problem-solving mode Focus on connection over correction Create space for deeper sharing See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Private school rankings are splashed across the headlines, and parents everywhere are left asking: Am I failing my child if I stay public? With fees soaring above $45,000 a year, the pressure is real — but what does the research actually say? In this episode, Justin and Kylie cut through the marketing hype to reveal what truly matters for your child’s learning and wellbeing — and why “better” doesn’t always mean what you think. KEY POINTS The truth about test scores What parents are really buying with high fees Why teachers matter more than facilities or class size The “proximity principle”: belonging, friendships, and community trump prestige How investing school fees differently could transform your child’s future QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “You can’t buy inspiration. It’s not about school fees — it’s about the teacher who lights up your child’s curiosity.” RESOURCES Research on school belonging (Kelly & Allen, University of Melbourne) https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/parenting/school-life/singlesex-schools-as-australias-top-100-private-schools-named/news-story/78fc2ed6b3807cbf6f44035d768c5c87 Harvard economist Raj Chetty’s study on teacher impact See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

How do you get kids to love reading in a world of screens and short attention spans? In this warm and practical conversation, Dr Justin Coulson sits down with one of Australia’s most beloved authors — and current Children’s Laureate — Sally Rippin. Together they explore why connection matters more than comprehension, how to support struggling readers, and the simple, joyful ways families can bring books back to life at home. You’ll hear:– Why “all kids can be readers” (even reluctant ones)– How neuroscience is changing the way we teach reading– The role of modelling and family rituals in raising readers– Why choice and curiosity keep kids engaged– The surprising power of reading together — at any age QUOTE OF THE EPISODE“There’s no better way to help kids fall in love with reading than for them to fall in love with you while you read together.” – Dr Justin Coulson RESOURCES– Sally Rippin, Australian Children’s Laureate: https://www.childrenslaureate.org.au– Sally’s books: School of Monsters, Billy B. Brown, and more– Happy Families: https://www.happyfamilies.com.au ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Read together — bedtime, car rides, or even audiobooks count. Model reading — let kids see you enjoying books. Offer choice — let them pick their own books, then choose one to share. Make it fun — voices, suspense, and laughter bring stories alive. Stay curious — use books as a doorway into your child’s world. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What do you say to a child who’s lost multiple loved ones and now lies awake, terrified of death? In this deeply compassionate episode, Dr Justin and Kylie Coulson unpack why repeated loss can create overwhelming bedtime anxiety, why it peaks when the lights go out, and the simple, research-backed ways parents can help. You’ll learn how to create safety, connection, and rituals that bring comfort — without minimising their grief or making false promises. KEY POINTS Multiple losses and cumulative grief Why bedtime can trigger fears Connection and presence over quick fixes or false assurances Following your child’s lead How to create closure for your child QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “What your child needs most isn’t for their fear to disappear — it’s to feel truly seen and understood in it.” – Dr Justin Coulson RESOURCES Understanding Grief in Children - Sage Journals Studies on the default mode network and bedtime anxiety Helping Kids Cope with Grief - a Conversation with Kristy Thomas Cumulative Grief - Dr Bill Webster The Journey of the Default Mode Network: Development, Function, and Impact on Mental Health ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Make bedtime a safe, calming ritual. Be present in the moment. Follow their emotional lead. Use comfort objects. Create closure rituals. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Your child says, “I want to quit.” Soccer. Piano. Swimming. Art. Should you let them? There’s a magic confidence threshold in every skill - and most kids give up just before they reach it. In this episode, Dr Justin and Kylie Coulson unpack why kids quit, the role of motivation and relationships, and how to help them push through frustration without forcing them into misery. You’ll learn how to balance empathy with encouragement so your child develops grit, resilience, and the joy of mastery. KEY POINTS Every skill has a “confidence threshold” — the point where hard work starts to feel rewarding. Kids often want to quit in the “valley” before reaching this threshold. Motivation matters: autonomy and relationships increase persistence. Plateaus in progress are normal and often occur right before breakthroughs. Distress tolerance is a life skill - avoiding discomfort robs kids of resilience-building experiences. Angela Duckworth’s “Don’t quit on a hard day” rule helps kids make decisions in a calm emotional state. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “When we rescue kids from every struggle, we rob them of the chance to discover they’re more resilient than they think.” – Dr Justin Coulson RESOURCES MENTIONED Angela Duckworth’s research on grit The Dunedin Study Dr Justin Coulson’s “Anti-Fragile” resilience keynotes ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Check the motivation – Was this activity your child’s choice or yours? Aim for the threshold – Encourage them to reach basic competence before deciding to quit. Build social connections – Support involvement where friendships are part of the activity. Talk about plateaus – Normalise slow progress and help them see it’s temporary. Adopt the “hard day” rule – No quitting right after a loss or tough session. Sit with discomfort – Model staying calm and present when challenges arise. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Screens often get a bad rap — and for good reason. But what if the problem isn’t the technology itself, but how we use it? In this heartwarming episode, Justin and Kylie share two powerful reminders: first, how intentional screen use (like FaceTiming with grandparents) can boost connection, vocabulary, and joy for kids; and second, why the “little moments” in family life are actually the big ones. KEY POINTS Why screens aren’t the enemy when used with purpose. Real-life example: FaceTime as a bridge between grandparents and grandkids. How small daily interactions (smiles, greetings, cuddles) create deep bonds. The research-backed link between physical touch and team success — and why it matters for families. The importance of slowing down to cherish moments, even in busy weeks. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE "The little things actually are the big things." RESOURCES MENTIONED Happy Families resources: happyfamilies.com.au ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Use technology like a toothbrush — as a tool for connection, not distraction. Encourage kids to FaceTime or video call grandparents regularly. Look for “small moments” of connection each day — greetings, cuddles, high-fives. Be intentional about physical touch to boost connection and wellbeing. Even when busy, pause to notice and enjoy the joy on your child’s face. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Half of Aussie kids say they’ve been bullied in the past year — and for some, it’s relentless. If your child is caught in the middle of it, you can feel powerless, worried, and desperate for answers. In this powerful conversation, Professor Donna Cross shares a simple but life-changing 4-step approach to help your child feel heard, supported, and in control — plus what to try when you’ve “done it all” and nothing changes. You’ll learn: The hidden signs your child is struggling (and what not to miss) Why face-to-face bullying is still more common than cyberbullying The LATE model — a simple framework to guide every conversation Why walking or sitting side-by-side helps kids open up How to help when the bullying won’t stop — even after trying everything When changing schools is worth considering (and how to make it work) QUOTE OF THE EPISODE "Don’t take the wheel — take the ride. Let your child lead the conversation so they keep their sense of control." RESOURCES MENTIONED Part 1 of our interview with Professor Donna Cross. Friendly Schools - An evidence-based whole-school approach to social & emotional wellbeing & bullying prevention. Bullying No Way - Professional learning resources. Professor Donna Cross’s research on bullying prevention and intervention Happy Families resources on bullying When Your Child is Bullied: A Calm, Practical Guide for Parents [HF Article] Rebecca Sparrow's friendship resources for parents and kids (Australia's "Friendship Whisperer") Rebecca Sparrow's friendship resources for schools and educators No Bullying Week: "Be Bold. Be Kind. Speak Up." Kid's Helpline for Bullying Spotlight on cyberbullying - a resource for schools The eSafety Commissioner's Guide to Cyberbullying Webinars for schools - designed for 3/4 and 5/6 students (Bullying No Way 2025) ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Watch for warning signs — changes in mood, friendships, or routines. Use the LATE approach when your child opens up. L – Listen without rushing to take over. A – Acknowledge the hurt (“That sounds really tough”). T – Talk about options, letting your child lead the ideas. E – End with encouragement and keep the door open for future talks. Role-play tricky situations to build your child’s confidence and coping skills. Engage the school early and keep them informed — especially during transitions. Encourage bystander support skills in your child’s friendship group. If necessary, consider a school change — but plan supports to prevent the bullying from following them. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Bullying doesn’t just hurt feelings — it can rewire a child’s brain. In this powerful conversation for No Bullying Week, I speak with Professor Donna Cross, one of Australia’s leading bullying experts, about the profound short- and long-term impacts of bullying, why some children are targeted, and the surprising protective factors that can help shield kids from harm. You’ll learn what’s really going on in the minds of both bullies and their targets — and how parents can build a network of support that keeps kids safer at school and online. KEY POINTS Bullying can trigger long-term neurological and genetic changes through repeated stress responses. Effects can be similar to those seen in children experiencing abuse. High-risk factors for being bullied include loneliness, visible differences, lack of supportive bystanders, and not being well known or liked by teachers. Protective factors include multiple friendship groups, strong peer relationships, a culture of kindness, and supportive school environments. Social and physical environments — from seating arrangements to equipment availability — can influence bullying dynamics. Parents can play a key role by facilitating diverse friendship opportunities and monitoring online activity. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE "Probably the most protective factor is your child’s relationships with other young people — especially having multiple friendship groups." – Professor Donna Cross RESOURCES MENTIONED Professor Donna Cross’s research and publications happyfamilies.com.au – Resources on bullying prevention and response ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Help your child build multiple, diverse friendship groups. Encourage empathy and kindness at home and in school conversations. Partner with your child’s school to promote a positive social environment. Teach your child how to respond calmly to provocation. Monitor and guide your child’s online interactions to reduce cyberbullying risk. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

How do you talk to your child about a terminal illness in the family? What if it’s not your family, but your best friend's—and you want to support both their kids and your own? In today’s heart-wrenching episode, Justin and Kylie tackle one of the toughest parenting challenges: helping children navigate the looming death of a loved one. With compassion, honesty, and practical wisdom, they share how to approach these conversations—and how to show up when words aren’t enough. KEY POINTS: Be honest with children in age-appropriate ways—truth helps, secrecy hurts. Children need predictability: keep routines and rituals where possible. Acknowledge emotions—yours and theirs. Say “I feel sad too.” When supporting a grieving friend, show up practically. Don’t ask, just do. Teach your child how to be a caring friend: “I don’t know what to say, but I care about you.” Offer your home as a safe place for affected children to rest and just be kids. Model empathy, presence, and consistency—not just for the family in crisis, but for your child watching. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: "I don’t know what to say, but I care about you." — Teach this to your child, and say it yourself. It matters. RESOURCES MENTIONED: Happy Families Website (submit your question here) Has Screen Use Crossed the Line in Your Home? - With Brad Marshall ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Speak to your child about serious illness honestly and age-appropriately. Keep routines and rituals in place to provide stability. Validate and model emotional expression: let your child see that it’s okay to be sad, angry, or confused. Help your child support their friend with care, not pressure. Offer practical help to grieving families—meals, transport, child-minding—without needing to be asked. Let your home be a haven for kids who are carrying heavy emotional loads. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Most of us think we know what to do when our child is being bullied—stand up to the bully, teach resilience, demand punishment. But what if those responses are making things worse? In this No Bullying Week episode, Justin and Kylie bust the myths around bullying and offer counterintuitive, compassionate, and powerful alternatives. Discover what actually works to support kids being bullied—and how to raise kids who don’t become bullies in the first place. KEY POINTS: If Your Child Is Being Bullied: Stop telling kids to “stand up” to bullies. This victim-blaming advice ignores power dynamics and often escalates harm. Avoid framing bullying as “character-building” or a “resilience opportunity.” Bullying is trauma. It’s not a test of toughness. Don’t demand punishment. Zero-tolerance and “make them pay” approaches often backfire. The system needs repair—not retribution. To Prevent Your Child from Bullying: Watch for “dominance in disguise.” When we reward confidence or competitiveness without checking the impact on others, we may be reinforcing bullying. Reflect on your parenting style. Harsh, authoritarian parenting models the very power-over behaviour we’re trying to prevent. Go beyond “treat others how you want to be treated.” Help kids develop real empathy by guiding them to reflect on how others feel. Bonus: Get your kids involved in service. Nothing builds empathy like helping others in need. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: “Our job isn’t to make kids bounce back from abuse. Our job is to make sure the abuse doesn’t happen in the first place.” RESOURCES MENTIONED: When Your Child is Bullied: A Calm, Practical Guide for Parents [Article] National Centre Against Bullying Conference Wall Street Journal article on the parenting pendulum Bullying No Way: A National Week of Action ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Work with the school: Ask for systemic solutions, not quick punishments. Validate your child’s pain: Listen, believe, and support—without trying to “toughen them up.” Model empathy and connection at home: Choose collaboration over control. Encourage service and perspective-taking: Real-world connection builds character better than lectures ever could. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When your child is struggling, do you ever feel like you should know exactly what to say—but you don’t? In this episode, we explore the parenting pressure to fix our kids’ problems... and why sometimes, the best thing we can do is just pick up the phone and listen. Plus: the surprising milestone we celebrated this week and why your relationship deserves a party too. KEY POINTS Kids often expect parents to know what to do—but we don’t always have the answers. A powerful reminder: our kids don’t need perfect words—they just need us to show up. Building community makes it easier to hold the line with tricky issues like phones. Why celebrating your marriage or partnership (even obscure milestones!) is crucial for a strong family. Love and presence matter more than parenting “perfection.” QUOTE OF THE EPISODE "I didn’t say anything wise. I didn’t make anything better. I didn’t do emotion coaching or problem-solving. I just listened. And that was enough." RESOURCES MENTIONED Wednesday’s Episode with Dr Brad Marshall on the impact of phones Sunshine Coast Ballooning (hot air balloon anniversary celebration—not sponsored, just loved it) HappyFamilies.com.au for more resources ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Let go of needing the perfect words – Just be there. Listen. Build your community – Especially around tricky boundaries like phones and tech. Celebrate your partner – Mark the small and silly milestones. They matter. Reconnect with your kids – Even if you don’t have a fix, your presence is powerful. Remind yourself – You don’t have to have the answers. Just love them. Be there. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Feeling like your child is glued to their screen - and spiralling? You're not imagining it. A brand-new meta-analysis of nearly 300,000 kids reveals something alarming: screen time isn't just a symptom of emotional struggles… it’s making them worse. In this Doctor’s Desk deep dive, Dr Justin Coulson breaks down the research and shares three critical parenting strategies that can break the cycle. KEY POINTS A meta-analysis of 117 studies (292,739 kids!) shows screen use leads to increased emotional and behavioural problems—and kids who are already struggling are more likely to turn to screens. Gaming has the most harmful effects, especially when time limits are exceeded. There’s a reciprocal relationship between screen use and emotional struggles—each one fuels the other. The screen trap is real—even highly self-aware adults get caught. The key isn’t blame or punishment—it’s collaboration, connection, and compassion. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE "We need to question the gaming industry’s design, not our children’s character." RESOURCES MENTIONED Meta-analysis published in Psychological Bulletin (2025) Yesterday’s episode with Dr Brad Marshall on gaming disorder and smartphone overuse ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Question the system, not the child: Open conversations with kids about how games and social media are engineered to capture attention and exploit vulnerabilities. Collaborate on screen use limits: Use the 3 E’s: Explore, Explain, Empower. Involve kids in setting family screen guidelines focused on what they gain, not what they lose. Replace screens with real connection: Prioritise family time, hobbies, nature, and friendships. The more involved you are, the less likely screens will dominate. Get curious about unmet needs: Ask: What is my child seeking from this screen? How can I help them meet that need in real life? See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Nine hours a day. That’s how long Aussie teens are spending on recreational screens. But what does this mean for their development—and should parents panic? In this confronting but practical conversation, Dr Justin Coulson is joined by Dr Brad Marshall, clinical psychologist and researcher, to unpack Australia’s biggest study to date on screen overuse and gaming disorder in kids. Together, they explore what the data shows, what it means for families, and what you should (and shouldn’t!) do if screen use has taken over your home. KEY POINTS New research shows 9 hours/day of screen time for high schoolers and 6 for primary kids—just for fun, not school. Around 5% of kids show signs of clinical or subclinical gaming disorder. 10% show signs of smartphone addiction. Significant developmental impacts were found across emotional, behavioural, educational, and physical domains. These issues start in primary school, not just during adolescence. It's not about banning screens but about helping parents set and enforce realistic, healthy limits. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE "If your child is in a sleep deficit because they’re on screens at night, that snowballs into everything else." – Dr Brad Marshall RESOURCES MENTIONED The new Macquarie University study on screen overuse Brad’s Developmental Impact Questionnaire Happy Families podcast archive Brad Marshall’s organisation: Control Shift ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Don’t attack the tech. Avoid saying things like “that game is rotting your brain.” It shuts down connection. Don’t allow screens in bedrooms at night. Sleep loss is a key trigger for wider issues. Don’t argue in the heat of the moment. Have the “screen talk” when everyone’s calm. Get curious about impacts. Use tools like the Developmental Impact Questionnaire to understand your child’s experience. Pick your battles. Focus on habits and boundaries, not just hours. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

“My daughter says she doesn’t like being alone with her thoughts at night… so she plays music to drown them out.” In this episode of the Happy Families podcast, we explore a powerful listener question from a mum worried about her anxious child using music as a form of avoidance. Is it helpful? Harmful? And what can we do instead? We unpack the fine line between healthy distraction and long-term avoidance - and share tools to help your child build emotional strength, even in the dark. KEY POINTS Avoidance can reinforce anxiety - but sometimes, gentle avoidance is okay Music can be an effective short-term tool, but shouldn't become the only coping mechanism The risks of long-term distraction at bedtime (poor sleep, more anxiety) Strategies to help: Essential oils (yes, really—there’s research!) Gratitude practices before sleep Thought downloads/journaling to ease mental clutter Default Mode Network activity and its role in rumination Gradual tolerance toolkit—moving away from music to mindfulness Normalising and validating nighttime anxiety Parental presence and conversations to address the underlying worries QUOTE OF THE EPISODE "Sometimes kids feel like they’re swimming with metaphorical sharks. They want to get out of the water—but we know they’re just dolphins. It’s our job to keep them swimming." RESOURCES MENTIONED Chatter by Ethan Kross Research on essential oils and anxiety (referenced but not directly cited) happyfamilies.com.au Leave us a voice memo for the podcast here ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Let your child know their racing thoughts at night are normal—and you're there for them. Collaborate on a bedtime plan: gentle music, meditation, or calming scents. Encourage journaling or a “thought download” before bed to externalise internal chaos. Add in a nightly gratitude ritual—simple and connecting. Over time, help your child build tolerance for their thoughts without needing constant distraction. If things remain tough, reach out to a GP or psychologist for professional support. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Are we really setting our kids up for success in the real world? From burnt spaghetti to budgeting fails, this episode dives into the seven critical life skills every parent should teach their child before they fly the nest — unless you want them boomeranging back! This is the essential parenting checklist for raising capable, confident, and independent adults. KEY POINTS Get Organised & Be ProductiveTeens need to know how to manage time, set alarms, prioritise, and follow through on responsibilities — no one else is going to do it for them. Keep a Tidy House & Maintain HygieneBasic cleaning and personal hygiene habits matter. No one wants to live with (or date) someone who never cleans the bathroom. Cook Three Basic MealsTwo-minute noodles don't count! Being able to whip up three decent meals is a non-negotiable adulting skill. Research & Make Informed DecisionsFrom phone plans to uni courses, help your teen learn how to ask questions, compare options, and confidently choose what's right. Understand Basic BudgetingTrack spending, avoid debt traps, and save for goals — money smarts start at home. Regulate EmotionsTeach your teen to handle stress, setbacks, and big feelings without a meltdown (or a phone call to Mum every time). Navigate Conflict ConstructivelyKnowing how to disagree without destroying a relationship is key — whether it's a fight with a friend or a tricky work conversation. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “The goal isn’t to send them out perfect. It’s to send them out capable — and make ourselves redundant in the process.” RESOURCES MENTIONED happyfamilies.com.au for parenting tools, resources, and workshops. ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS 1. Do a life skills audit — which of these seven has your child mastered?2. Model these behaviours daily: routines, budgeting, cooking, conflict resolution.3. Involve your child in real-life decisions (like comparing phone plans or budgeting for groceries).4. Use mistakes as teachable moments, not failures.5. Celebrate independence, even if it’s just cleaning the bathroom without being asked!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Would you get out of bed at 2:30am to drive your teen to Work Experience with horses? In this episode of I’ll Do Better Tomorrow, we share the parenting wins, fails, and funny moments from our week - including freezing mornings, heartfelt messages from listeners, and a couple of one-star reviews that left us speechless (almost). Also, Justin’s withdrawal from the Tour de France and unexpected fame in a shopping centre. From meaningful feedback on tricky conversations to tackling criticism with humour, this episode is about showing up, trying hard, and staying connected. KEY POINTS Supporting your teen’s passion… even when it starts at 3am Listener feedback about Sunday tricky conversations with kids What it’s like being recognised from Parental Guidance How to handle negative podcast reviews with grace and humour The reality of not being everyone’s flavour - and why that’s okay QUOTE OF THE EPISODE "We're not going to be everybody's favourite fruit. And that's okay." RESOURCES MENTIONED HappyFamilies.com.au Parental Guidance (TV show) Justin's Sunday Tricky Conversations (encouraged by listener Miranda) ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Support your child’s passion - even when it disrupts your sleep. Your presence matters. Start a weekly tricky conversation with your child, like Miranda did. It builds trust and emotional safety. Remember you're not for everyone - and you don’t have to be. Show up authentically. Leave a review (preferably 5 stars

Ever been halfway through a parenting reel thinking *“Oh wow, this is gold”… only to realise it’s actually terrible advice dressed up with pretty music and a pastel background? We’ve been there too. In today’s episode, Justin and Kylie unpack six pieces of popular parenting advice they’re choosing to ignore forever—and why you should too. From controlled crying to timeouts, “spoiling” kids with love, and the classic “just ignore the tantrum” strategy, we’re calling out the myths that sound helpful but harm connection. This episode is your permission slip to parent with heart, not hacks. KEY POINTS: Controlled crying is not independence training — It misunderstands attachment and ignores babies’ real needs. Timeouts don’t teach, they isolate — Punishment in disguise erodes trust and connection. Responsiveness isn’t spoiling — Kids thrive when we tune in, not tune out. Ignoring tantrums doesn’t make them go away — Empathy teaches emotional regulation. “Seen and not heard” is still hanging around (and still harmful) — Kids need space to be curious, push back respectfully, and develop their voice. Self-soothing is a myth for little ones — Kids learn to calm down with us, not alone. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: “Abandoning children in their most vulnerable moments teaches them nothing—except that our love is conditional.” RESOURCES MENTIONED: The Whole-Brain Child by Dr. Daniel Siegel Attachment research by Dr. Allan Schore ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Challenge bad advice — When you hear advice that feels off, trust your gut and check the research. Choose connection over correction — When your child is distressed, meet them with empathy instead of isolation. Be responsive, not reactive — Show up consistently so your child learns to regulate through co-regulation. Make space for their voice — Let your kids respectfully question, push back, and express themselves. Ditch the naughty chair — Find real discipline strategies that teach, not punish. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

They talk a lot about culture in schools/education. What’s really driving teacher burnout, student disengagement, and poor behaviour in schools? In this compelling conversation, I’m joined by Adam Voigt—former principal, education thought leader, and founder of Real Schools—to explore why culture, not curriculum, is the true heart of great education. From phone bans to shocking increases in sexualised behaviour, we unpack the most pressing issues in today’s classrooms—and how families can play a vital role in shaping school culture for the better. KEY POINTS: Why phone bans work—and the student-led secret to getting buy-in from kids The disturbing rise of sexualised behaviour and harassment in schools Teacher burnout: why it’s getting worse and how to turn it around How shame, not badness, drives poor behaviour—and what restorative practices offer instead The 3 consistent challenges teachers face: student behaviour, workload, and parent interactions Why building school culture is the most powerful thing a school can do How culture improves outcomes for students, teachers, and parents alike QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: “We need to reclaim how we work—not just the classroom. When schools focus on culture, every stakeholder benefits.” – Adam Voigt RESOURCES MENTIONED: Restoring Teaching by Adam Voigt – Free eBook, audiobook & print-at-cost version Adam’s organisation: Real Schools Happy Families resources for families and schools: happyfamilies.com.au ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Be a culture builder at your child’s school. Ask the principal or teacher, “What’s our school’s culture—and how can I support it?” Talk to your child about phone use—and help them practice face-to-face connection at home. Model respectful behaviour, especially around teachers. Show your child that respect is foundational, not optional. Challenge inappropriate content and conversations early. Don’t wait for school to step in—your voice matters first. Share Adam’s book with your school’s leadership team. It’s a small gesture that could shift the culture in big ways. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You send out party invitations and… crickets. Or worse — a wall of “maybe” and no-shows. Are parents today just too busy, too anxious, or too uninterested to connect? Justin and Kylie tackle the growing epidemic of “commitment-phobia” among modern parents and uncover why it’s harder than ever to build the village our kids desperately need. From loneliness to overload to digital distractions, you’ll learn the real reasons parents opt out — and four surprisingly simple ways to bring connection back. If you’ve ever wondered why it feels like you’re parenting alone — and how to change that — this is the episode you need. KEY POINTS: Why today’s parents avoid social commitments (and it’s not just post-COVID). The collapse of “enforced proximity” and accidental connection. Why loneliness is now a public health crisis. How treating community like a marketplace keeps us isolated. The role of emotional overload and overstimulation. 4 actionable ways to rebuild your village — one parent at a time. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: "Other people matter. The community you’re craving already exists — it’s just hiding behind the same fears and overwhelm you’re feeling." RESOURCES MENTIONED: Submit your tricky parenting questions here ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Create low-stakes, frequent opportunities for connection — coffee catch-ups, quick chats at pick-up, or a casual park playdate. Focus on contribution: ask “What can I give?” instead of “What’s in it for me?” Schedule digital downtime daily — put your phone down and reclaim your mental space. Don’t fear rejection. Keep showing up. Start with one parent and build from there. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Every parent hits that moment — the eye roll, the “you’re so unfair,” the slammed door. It’s the backchat that drives us up the wall. But what if we told you that this so-called “sass” is actually a sign of something good? In today’s episode, Justin and Kylie unpack why backchat is one of the most misunderstood parts of child development — and how you can respond in a way that strengthens your relationship, rather than wrecking it. We share 3 practical mindset shifts and 4 go-to scripts you can use today to turn attitude into connection and cooperation. Yes, even when the sass is strong. KEY POINTS: Backchat is often a clumsy expression of unmet needs — not a sign of defiance Reframing disrespect as a lack of skills (not a lack of values) changes everything Power struggles escalate when we seek control instead of connection Meeting autonomy, relatedness, and competence needs helps reduce pushback Get curious, not furious — especially when emotions are high Four practical scripts help parents respond with connection, not control QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: “Disrespect often isn’t deliberate — it’s just clumsy communication from a kid who doesn’t yet have the skills to do it better.” RESOURCES MENTIONED: The 3 Basic Psychological Needs: Autonomy, Relatedness, Competence The “Get Curious, Not Furious” principle happyfamilies.com.au for more resources and support ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Reframe backchat as a sign of emotional overwhelm or unmet needs Use validating language like “Sometimes it feels like I’m your enemy, doesn’t it?” Offer autonomy with choices (“I don’t mind when you do it — just have it done by dinner”) Give in fantasy what they can’t have in reality to lighten the moment Use the 3 E’s Script: “Sounds like you’re really frustrated... will you help me see what’s bothering you?” Set boundaries with respect: “I’m going to give you a chance to rethink that and try again in harmony with our values.” See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What kind of parent willingly gives up a peaceful beach day… for four hours of standing in theme park lines? In this episode, Justin shares the story of his most "Father of the Year" moment — and Kylie reveals how she did something even braver. If you’ve ever had to choose between comfort and connection, this one’s for you. KEY POINTS: Why showing up — even when it’s uncomfortable — creates lasting memories for our kids.The unexpected benefits of shared boredom (like standing in line together!).How doing things you hate can still bring joy — to both you and your kids.The value of modelling courage, humour, and presence (even on the Kansas Twister).Why it’s often the hard, inconvenient moments that matter most in family life. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: “Do the hard things. The joy it brings your kids — seeing you squeal, be scared, and do it anyway — you can’t put a price on that.” RESOURCES MENTIONED: HappyFamilies.com.au — for more parenting inspiration and tools. ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Say Yes to the Hard Thing – Whether it’s a dreaded ride, a messy game, or a long conversation, lean in. Model Being Brave – Let your kids see you doing things outside your comfort zone. Find Joy in the Chaos – Embrace the mess, the lines, and the noise as chances to connect. Reflect and Celebrate – Share the story with your kids afterwards. Celebrate effort, not perfection. Plan Your Own "Hard Thing" – Ask yourself: What’s one thing I can do this week that puts my kids first, even if it’s uncomfortable? See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Few topics divide parents more than gender identity — and the stakes couldn’t be higher. On the last episode of Parental Guidance, the debate ignited strong emotions and hard truths about what it means to protect our kids’ mental health while avoiding irreversible mistakes. In today’s podcast, Justin and Kylie break down the episode, share insights from research, and offer calm, practical advice for navigating this sensitive topic as a parent. KEY POINTS: Why this issue is so emotionally loaded. What we don’t know The strong correlation between gender identity struggles and other issues like autism, anxiety, depression, and online influences Why ‘affirmation-only’ models are controversial The role of screens and peer groups in shaping kids’ beliefs about gender. Why delaying medical or surgical interventions while maintaining love and openness can be the wisest path forward QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: "You want to keep your kids safe, loved, and supported — but you also want to move slowly, with wisdom and care, because these decisions have lifelong consequences." — Justin Coulson RESOURCES MENTIONED: Time to Think by Hannah Barnes (on the Tavistock Clinic and gender identity diagnoses) Articles and more resources at happyfamilies.com.au ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Limit screen time and social media exposure, especially to platforms like TikTok or Tumblr where gender identity narratives can be amplified. Check your child’s peer group influences — and watch for “cluster” patterns in friend groups. Find a good psychologist or counsellor who will explore underlying emotional, developmental, and psychological factors instead of rushing to affirm. Stay compassionate and keep the dialogue open with your child. Let them know you love and support them unconditionally — while explaining that serious medical decisions can wait. Delay irreversible interventions (like hormones or surgery) until your child is much older and has had time to mature and reflect. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What does “boys will be boys” really mean—and why does it get under so many parents’ skin? In this powerful episode, we dive into the final challenge of Parental Guidance and unpack the loaded stereotypes around masculinity, parenting roles, and what it means to raise emotionally healthy boys in today’s world. From baby dolls to rough-and-tumble play, the conversation gets real about how we guide our sons—and what we might be getting wrong. KEY POINTS: Why the phrase “boys will be boys” is not an excuse for bad behaviour How TV moments can misrepresent real-life parenting and child behaviour The critical role fathers can and should play in early parenting Gender roles, cultural expectations, and the policing of boys’ behaviour The concept of “surplus value” and helping boys become safe, strong contributors The challenge of letting boys be expressive without fear of being labelled or shamed Encouraging healthy masculinity without shaming traditional male traits QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: “Boys will be boys is never an acceptable excuse when a boy is making others feel unsafe or weaker. Healthy masculinity is about being a bonus — adding value and helping people feel safer and stronger." — Justin Coulson RESOURCES MENTIONED: Parental Guidance Season 3, Episode 4 (available to stream on 9Now) Richard Reeves – Of Boys and Men Upcoming book on raising boys by Dr Justin Coulson ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Challenge the stereotype: Avoid using phrases like “boys will be boys” to excuse disrespectful or rough behaviour. Involve dads early: Regardless of breastfeeding or work roles, dads can actively participate in everything from settling babies to managing household chaos. Nurture competence: Support your partner’s (and your child’s) parenting confidence—especially when they feel unsure. Talk about gender norms: With both sons and daughters, talk openly about gender expectations, and give them permission to break the mould. Model and celebrate healthy masculinity: Encourage boys to add value to others' lives, and help them develop emotional literacy without forcing them to fit a mould. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Parenting Mirror: What Your Kids Are Really Learning From You” What happens when your child becomes the parent — even just for a day? In this episode, we unpack last night’s Parental Guidance challenge, where kids were asked to care for a realistic baby doll, revealing what they’ve learned from their parents’ example. From “cry-it-out” methods to family role clarity, and even the silent weight of unappreciated parents — this conversation is a wake-up call for every mum and dad. Are you raising future chair stackers, or scorekeepers? KEY POINTS: Kids reflect the parenting they see — sometimes in ways we don’t expect. Why “cry-it-out” for babies is controversial and why we generally recommend avoiding it (especially under 6 months). The hidden harm of parenting with threats and power-centred comments. The trap of seeking validation from your children instead of giving without expectation. Why clarity in family roles, self-awareness, and communication are critical. The concept of raising “chair stackers” — children (and future adults) who see and meet needs without keeping score. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: "If there was one gift I could give every parent, it would be the gift of self-awareness — the ability to see how your children experience you." RESOURCES MENTIONED: Upcoming book: The Boys Book by Justin Coulson (on raising “chair stackers”). More parenting resources at: happyfamilies.com.au ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Reflect honestly: What do your kids see and learn from the way you react under stress? If you’ve used cry-it-out methods, consider alternatives and seek support if you’re struggling. Have a conversation with your partner (and even your kids) about family roles and whether everyone feels the load is fair and balanced. Let go of the need for validation from your kids — parenting is about giving. Start encouraging the “chair stacker” mindset in your kids by modelling it yourself. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What do you do when your child screams from 7 PM to 3 AM every night? Tonight, Parental Guidance tackles one of the toughest, most overlooked issues facing families: the silent epidemic of mental illness. Heartbreaking stories. Honest conversations. And real hope for parents who feel alone in the dark. Don’t miss this powerful episode—stream it on 9Now or watch live at 7:30 PM on Channel 9. KEY POINTS Mental illness is the “invisible crisis” devastating families across the nation. Parents share raw and emotional stories of what it’s really like behind closed doors. Experts and families come together to discuss what helps, what doesn’t, and what needs to change. The importance of recognising the signs and knowing you’re not alone. RESOURCES MENTIONED Catch up on Seasons 1, 2, and the first episodes of Season 3 on the 9Now app. Tune in live tonight at 7:30 PM on Channel 9 or stream on 9Now. ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS 1. Don’t ignore the signs — if you’re concerned about your child’s mental health, seek support early.2. Talk about mental health at home. Let your kids know it’s okay to not be okay.3. Reach out to a GP, school counsellor, or helpline for guidance if you’re struggling.4. Watch this episode with your partner or support network and discuss how you can support each other and your children better.5. Familiarise yourself with available resources and keep the conversation going.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Talking about money with kids can feel intimidating — but it doesn’t have to be. In episode #1301, Dr Justin Coulson is joined by long-time financial literacy campaigner Nicole Pedersen-McKinnon to unpack practical, simple ways parents can raise kids who are confident and smart with money. From avoiding the ‘tap trap’ to setting stretch goals, you’ll learn how your own money mindset shapes theirs — and the small, powerful lessons that stick for life. KEY POINTS: Why attitude about money matters more than aptitude — and how parents can model healthy habits. The danger of passing on economic anxiety to kids. How to teach kids to delay gratification and set meaningful goals. Creative ways to incentivise saving, including ‘stretch goals’ with bonuses. Why teaching kids about time and compound interest is a game-changer. Cash vs. digital money: helping kids grasp the value of invisible dollars. The best tools and apps to make financial education engaging and real for kids. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: "The biggest financial lesson you can give your kids is letting them see you walk the talk — showing them you’ve earned it, allocated it, and spent it wisely for maximum enjoyment." — Nicole Pedersen-McKinnon RESOURCES MENTIONED: Hey Kit: Pocket Money App & Free Guide MoneySmart by ASIC — for parent financial literacy Spriggy app (another kids’ money app) Nicole’s book: How to Get Mortgage Free Like Me ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: 1. Start the conversation: Make money a regular topic at home — no shame, no secrecy.2. Model what you want to see: Explain your own decisions, from saving to spending.3. Teach delayed gratification: Use food or small purchases to illustrate.4. Set savings goals with your kids — and add stretch goals with incentives.5. Open a savings account or use a money app to help kids track and celebrate progress.6. Don’t forget about cash: Occasionally let them pay in notes or coins to connect the dots.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What happens when a child falls years behind in reading and writing? This week’s episode of The Happy Families Podcast dives into one of the most talked-about moments from Parental Guidance: the Life School parents’ children struggling with basic literacy. Justin and Kylie share why reading matters so much, how to help children who resist school and learning, and practical steps for parents who feel overwhelmed when their child is falling behind. If you’ve ever worried about your child’s progress—or felt judged by others—this conversation will give you hope, empathy, and a clear path forward. KEY POINTS: Reading is a gateway to learning, and kids need to see, hear, and engage with books daily. Many families lack books in the home—screens have crowded them out. Literacy struggles can stem from earlier traumatic or negative schooling experiences, creating resistance. Avoidance of learning challenges often worsens anxiety; action and support are crucial. There is no quick fix—progress takes time, love, and the right support network. Collaboration with schools is vital, but sometimes alternative schooling or tutors may be necessary. Motivation often follows competence—find what your child loves to learn and build on that. Above all, children need to know that they are loved, supported, and not alone in their struggle. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: "Readers are leaders, and leaders are readers. But before anything else, your child needs to know you love them, no matter how hard the journey gets." RESOURCES MENTIONED: Previous Happy Families podcast episodes on How to Help Kids Love Reading #952 - An Interview with Author Sally Rippin #918 - A Slice of Advice on Getting Your Kids to Read More happyfamilies.com.au for more resources on literacy and schooling alternatives, including: Rethinking School: Why Alternative Education Might Be the Best Choice for Your Child Home Schooling 101 With Brett Campbell of Euka How to Raise Kids Who Read Nine Now app to watch Parental Guidance ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: 1. Read to your child every day, even if they’re older.2. Let your child see you reading.3. Fill your home with books your child can access anytime.4. Work with the school to understand and address learning challenges.5. If needed, explore alternative schooling options or hire a tutor.6. Avoid avoidance—take small, consistent actions to build competence.7. Help your child discover an area of learning they’re motivated by.8. Above all: remind them daily that they are loved and supported.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What do you do when your child refuses to eat? When food, health, and body image turn into a dangerous battleground? In this deeply moving episode, Justin and Kylie unpack the devastating reality of eating disorders — with insights from a brave young woman who overcame anorexia, her incredible family, and a specialist psychologist who shares life-saving advice for parents. KEY POINTS 90% of teens have negative thoughts about their bodies; eating disorders affect far too many young people, especially girls. Social media and “diet culture” fuel body dissatisfaction, validation-seeking, and dangerous habits. Even the most loving parents can have children who perceive themselves as unlovable — perception is reality for struggling kids. Parents play a vital role: showing up consistently and lovingly is powerful even when it feels unnoticed. Warning signs to watch for include: Loose, baggy clothing (to hide weight loss or from skin sensitivity) Avoiding family meals, picking at food, or excessive “health consciousness” Withdrawing socially, prioritizing exercise obsessively Personality changes, irritability, especially around meals Parents need extraordinary patience, kindness, and firmness — staying at the table for hours if necessary, showing the eating disorder who’s stronger. Separate “the eating disorder voice” from your child’s real self in your interactions. It’s less about finding the “cause” and more about focusing on healing. The Butterfly Foundation (butterfly.org.au) is an excellent resource for specialist help. QUOTE OF EPISODE #1299 "You need to show that eating disorder that you're stronger than it, more patient than it, and you will sit there as long as it takes — because your child is worth fighting for." — Christine Gregory RESOURCES MENTIONED The Butterfly Foundation — national support for eating disorders Parental Guidance episode (stream on 9Now) Happy Families articles and resources on connection and body image (happyfamilies.com.au) ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS 1. Watch for early warning signs and trust your instincts — you know your child best.2. Be patient, kind, and firm — sit with your child at meals and don’t let the eating disorder win.3. Separate your child’s identity from the illness; speak to your child, not to the disorder.4. Don’t obsess over what “caused” it — focus on healing and connection.5. Seek professional help early through organizations like the Butterfly Foundation.6. Show up consistently: being present every day sends a powerful message of love and commitment.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

“You don’t let other people tell you what beautiful is.”In this heartfelt episode of the Happy Families Podcast, Justin and Kylie Coulson reflect on the powerful lessons from Parental Guidance Season 3, Episode 3, exploring body image, self-worth, and how parents can shape their children’s relationship with their bodies—for better or worse. With vulnerable personal stories and actionable advice, they discuss how to shift the focus from looks to function, joy, and character. KEY POINTS: Parents’ comments and attitudes about bodies deeply influence their children’s self-image. Many women carry lasting scars from childhood comments about their weight or looks. Society promotes a narrow and unhealthy definition of “beautiful.” Teach children to focus on what their bodies can do, not just how they look. Affirm children’s inner qualities and character as “beautiful” rather than only appearance. Complimenting children should be consistent and not dependent on clothing, makeup, or occasions. Body image distortion is common and can start young; words and modelling matter. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: "When discussing body image, we need to move away from beauty. Instead, emphasise functionality, emphasise finding joy, and focus on what you can do, not what you look like. More than anything, remember that beauty is best defined by who you are and not how you look." — Justin Coulson RESOURCES MENTIONED: Miss-connection: Why Your Teenage Daughter Hates You, Expects the World, and Needs to Talk by Justin Coulson Karen Young & Hey Sigmund — resources supporting children’s mental health and self-worth Parental Guidance Season 3 ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Reflect on your own language and attitudes about bodies—what messages are you passing on? Focus compliments on your child’s inner qualities and abilities, not just their looks. Emphasise the functionality and strength of your child’s body (“Look how strong your legs are!”) rather than its appearance. Avoid shaming or criticising children’s food choices or weight. Let your child know they are always beautiful to you, regardless of what they’re wearing or how they look. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Why do girls talk about their looks and boys talk about their abilities? Last night’s Parental Guidance episode tackled the big, emotional topic of body image — from what our kids see in the mirror to what they learn from us. In this Happy Families Podcast recap, Justin and Kylie unpack the powerful moments, the heated debates about Botox and social media, and what the research says about raising kids who feel good about their bodies. KEY POINTS Introduction of four new parenting styles: Authoritative, Positivity, Hard Way, and Life School — and their views on body image. Kids’ mirror challenge revealed a clear gender split: boys focused on what their bodies do, girls on how their bodies look. Parents’ debate about Botox and cosmetic procedures highlighted tension between self-acceptance and role-modelling for kids. Social media and screen use increase body dissatisfaction — media literacy alone isn’t enough. WHO study: gender, not body size, predicts body image problems. The importance of parents modelling self-acceptance and healthy habits. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE "We focus on boys’ function, not form — and girls’ form, not function. That’s how society has conditioned us for centuries." — Dr Justin Coulson RESOURCES MENTIONED The Happiness Hypothesis by Jonathan Haidt WHO study on gender and body image Book: Miss-connection: Why Your Teenage Daughter Hates You, Expects the World, and Needs to Talk by Justin Coulson Pixel Perfect [webinar] Happy Families resources at happyfamilies.com.au ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS 1. Reduce kids’ time on screens and social media to limit harmful comparisons.2. Stop focusing on diets or external measures — promote health, not appearance.3. Encourage kids to focus on what their bodies can do, not how they look.4. Be mindful of how you talk about your own body — you’re modelling self-image.5. Avoid assuming media literacy is enough — talk about values, not just filters.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Body Image Episode: Conversations Every Parent Needs to Hear What happens when kids are asked how they really see themselves?This episode of Parental Guidance (and our podcast preview) dives deep into one of the most powerful and emotional topics we’ve covered yet: body image. We unpack the heartbreaking reality of how children talk about their own appearance, the surprising ways parents influence those conversations, and a gripping, must-see story of a young girl’s fight against anorexia. Plus, we explore family fitness, nutrition, and an unexpected twist you won’t see coming. Tonight’s episode of Parental Guidance is one that will get Australia talking — and maybe even bring a tear to your eye. KEY POINTS: Kids share candidly how they see themselves — and the results are eye-opening. A moving story of one girl’s battle with an eating disorder. Why the way parents speak about their own bodies matters more than you think. Family fitness and nutrition challenges reveal compelling insights. An unexpected twist at the end that every family should reflect on. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: "It’s just such an important conversation — one that will make every single parent and child sit up and pay attention." RESOURCES MENTIONED: Parental Guidance, Episode 3 — airing tonight at 7:30 PM on Channel 9 and streaming on 9Now. Visit happyfamilies.com.au for more parenting resources. ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:1. Watch tonight’s episode of Parental Guidance with your family.2. Start an honest, gentle conversation with your kids about how they feel about themselves.3. Be mindful of the way you speak about your own body around your children — they’re listening.4. Use family mealtimes and activities as opportunities to model positive attitudes towards food and fitness.5. Stay tuned to the Happy Families podcast throughout the week as we unpack the episode in even more detail.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.