Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

Join us as we dive into the world of "Granny Core" — a charming, nostalgic approach to helping kids disconnect from screens by embracing slow, hands-on, screen-free hobbies. From knitting and baking to treehouse building and backyard adventures, this episode is packed with 20 timeless activities that promote creativity, connection, and calm. If you're tired of fighting the screen-time battle, this list is your new best friend. KEY POINTS: Why Screen-Free Matters: The overuse of screens is linked to increased anxiety, depression, sleep problems, and academic issues in kids. The Rise of Granny Core: A cultural trend that celebrates slow, traditional activities like knitting, gardening, and baking. Nostalgic Outdoor Play: Classic games like hopscotch, bike riding, and treehouse building help foster imagination and independence. Community & Connection: Group activities like game nights and neighbourhood breakfasts create meaningful relationships and combat isolation. Creative Projects: Activities such as Lego building, writing stories, and learning instruments develop resilience and problem-solving. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: “The goal isn’t to eliminate screens entirely. The goal is to ensure screens aren’t crowding out enriching experiences that build confidence, creativity, and connection for our kids.” – Justin Coulson RESOURCES MENTIONED: Happy Families website: happyfamilies.com.au ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Pick One Granny Hobby: Choose one activity, like baking or embroidery, to try with your child this week. Get Outside: Encourage unstructured outdoor play—think mud pies, capture the flag, or a nature scavenger hunt. Host a Game Night: Invite another family over for board games or trivia. Create a Mini Club: Start a small neighbourhood kids' club for crafts or service projects. Connect with a “Grandma”: If real grandparents aren’t nearby, find a local elder who can share time and wisdom with your kids. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In today’s Q&A episode, Elizabeth from Melbourne shares a heartbreaking concern: her 7-year-old son is engaging in inappropriate behaviours towards girls at school. We unpack this tricky topic with sensitivity and seriousness—discussing how to draw firm boundaries, have safe and open conversations, and when to seek professional help. If you’ve ever felt unsure about how to respond when your child crosses a line, this episode will offer clarity, compassion, and practical tools. KEY POINTS: Normal Curiosity vs Concerning Behaviour: It’s typical for kids between ages 4–8 to explore gender and bodies—but behaviour like skirt-lifting and bottom-touching crosses a serious line. Immediate Action is Crucial: Clear, direct communication is needed. “Your body belongs to you. Other people’s bodies belong to them.” Teach Consent Early: Consent education starts with everyday interactions—asking before hugging, respecting personal space, and stopping when someone says no. Don’t Catastrophize, Stay Present: Parents must resist the urge to project into the future and instead address the present issue calmly and constructively. Get on the Same Page with the School: Schools have protocols—partner with them for consistent boundaries and supervision. Have Open Conversations Using the 3 E’s of Discipline: Explore what’s behind the behavior, Explain why it’s inappropriate, and Empower your child with better choices. Look Deeper, Ask the Hard Questions: Behaviour may stem from exposure to inappropriate content, modelling by others, or—more rarely—neurological or psychological factors. Avoid Labels: Kids need support, not stigma. Labels can harm their identity and influence how others treat them. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: “Labels belong on jars, not on people.” RESOURCES MENTIONED: Michelle Mitchell's books Consent Can’t Wait Campaign happyfamilies.com.au – for parenting resources and help ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Have a Calm, Direct Conversation Set a firm boundary: “This behaviour is not okay.” Avoid shame—focus on clear expectations. Initiate a Safe Dialogue Reassure your child: “There’s nothing you can say that will make us stop loving you.” Then ask direct but gentle questions about where the behaviour may be coming from. Involve the School Work with teachers and school counsellors to ensure supervision and consistent messaging. Monitor Online Access Review screen time and check for any exposure to explicit content. Consider Professional Help If behaviours repeat or your child discloses troubling influences, consult a psychologist or counsellor experienced in childhood behaviour. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's time to address the age-old question: Do children make us happy? Backed by powerful research and personal stories, Kylie and Justin explore the paradox of parenting—how our kids can simultaneously be our greatest joy and our biggest challenge. Featuring insights from happiness researchers like Daniel Kahneman, Paul Bloom, and Roy Baumeister, the conversation moves from exhaustion and conflict to purpose, meaning, and unconditional love. KEY POINTS: Research shows that parenting often decreases happiness and marital satisfaction, especially in the early years. Daniel Kahneman's study revealed mothers find time with kids less enjoyable than activities like watching TV or shopping—particularly during stressful mornings and evenings. Despite the challenges, most parents say they don't regret having children—why? Cultural and policy differences influence parental happiness across countries. Parenting isn’t primarily about happiness—it's about purpose, meaning, and deep emotional connection. The hardest parts of parenting often give rise to the most profound moments of growth and joy. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: "If the loss of a child would be total annihilation, then having a child—healthy, happy, and sound—must be annihilation’s opposite, which sounds pretty terrific." – Paul Bloom RESOURCES MENTIONED: The Parenting Revolution by Dr. Justin Coulson All Joy and No Fun by Jennifer Senior The Sweet Spot by Paul Bloom Meanings of Life by Roy Baumeister Daniel Kahneman’s research on parental enjoyment Columbia University studies by Sara McLanahan ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Redefine Happiness: Shift your focus from momentary happiness to long-term meaning and connection. Embrace the Mess: Recognise that hard days are part of the growth—yours and your child’s. Prioritise Connection: In the chaos, seek small moments of intimacy and presence. Protect Your Partnership: Align as a couple around shared parenting values; the child isn’t the problem—misalignment often is. Find Support: Advocate for better policy and community support—or build your village where you can. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dr. Justin Coulson speaks with former Disney executive and GameTruck founder Scott Novis about the hidden dangers of video games—and how parents can help their kids develop a healthy relationship with gaming. From understanding addictive design to replacing screen time with real-world connection, this conversation delivers practical, real-world solutions for every family navigating the digital age. KEY POINTS Addiction by Design: Some game developers deliberately design games using the "hook algorithm" to exploit children’s brain development and keep them playing compulsively. Self-Determination vs. Hooked Gaming: Games built on autonomy, mastery, and relatedness (like Minecraft) build skills and confidence. Hooked games create craving, not satisfaction. 3 Hacks for Safer Gaming: Buy the game (don’t use free-to-play). Play offline (limits tracking and manipulation). Listen to how your child talks about the game (progress = good, frustration = red flag). Ending Game Time Without Conflict: Pre-agree on ending conditions, give non-verbal cues (like flicking the lights), and offer choices that preserve agency. Offline Substitutes Matter: Create "hard to enter, hard to leave" real-life communities (e.g., sports, jiu-jitsu, Dungeons & Dragons) that offer connection, skill-building, and purpose. Social Disconnection: Excessive gaming and screen time can cause “virtual autism” and impair emotional and social development. The Goal: Return to a play-based childhood that prioritises real-world connection, effort, and fun. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “If your child sounds like a victim when they talk about the game—they’re in trouble. If they sound empowered, they’re probably playing a good game.”— Scott Novis RESOURCES MENTIONED Books: The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt Glued to Games by Scott Rigby & Richard Ryan Scattered Minds by Dr. Gabor Maté Miss Connection by Dr. Justin Coulson Websites: https://www.scottnovis.com/ – Scott's personal site gametruck.com – Scott's company for social gaming experiences Article: William Siu's essay in The New York Times on game addiction and design ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Buy Games, Not AddictionsChoose paid games that don’t rely on manipulating your child’s attention or money. Play Offline Whenever PossibleRemove always-on connectivity that allows companies to track and shape behaviour. Ask the Right QuestionsIs your child developing skills—or just chasing random rewards? Listen for signs of empowerment or frustration. Negotiate Game Time Up FrontPre-agree on stop times and methods, give warnings (e.g., flicking lights), and honour your child’s autonomy. Replace, Don’t Just RemoveReplace screen time with rich, social, skill-building real-world activities—like sports, martial arts, tabletop games, or outdoor adventures. No Screens in BedroomsSet screen bedtimes. Keep devices out of reach at night to prevent secret play. Get InvolvedPlay games with your kids—even if you're bad at them. Model effort, learning, and connection. Watch for Red FlagsLook for sleep disruption, secretive behaviour, rage quitting, or declining school performance. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this lighthearted episode of the Happy Families Podcast, we revisit some of the funniest and most unexpected things kids say when learning about where babies come from. Inspired by our interview last week with parenting educator Michelle Mitchell and her book Where Do Babies Come From?, we share some laugh-out-loud stories that remind us how curious—and hilarious—kids can be. We also reflect on the importance of connection, structure, and giving kids something to look forward to. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “Let’s create our own purpose together.”— Justin Coulson, reflecting on how one dad helped his son rediscover joy and meaning through shared outdoor adventures. RESOURCES MENTIONED Michelle Mitchell's books: Where Do Babies Come From? The Girl's Guide to Puberty The Guy's Guide to Puberty Upcoming episode:Interview with Scott Novis, former VP at Disney, about managing kids and gaming without conflict (drops on Saturday!). ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Have the Talk—Early and Openly:Use age-appropriate, fact-based resources like Michelle Mitchell’s books to guide conversations about sex and puberty. Laugh Together:Don’t be afraid to see the humour in awkward conversations—sharing a laugh builds trust and openness. Create Connection Through Experience:Take time to plan simple but meaningful activities with your kids (e.g., camping, biking, time outdoors) that foster relationship and reduce reliance on screens. Build and Maintain Structure:Life can throw curveballs, but having a flexible routine helps maintain emotional and mental stability for the whole family. Don’t Give Up on Change:Implementing new habits is hard, especially in chaos, but small intentional resets make a big difference. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A major new report from the OECD has revealed shocking insights into how screen use is shaping children's lives—and not for the better. In this episode, Justin and Kylie Coulson unpack the disturbing statistics, explain the real-world impact of screens on kids’ mental health, relationships, and development, and offer practical, age-specific strategies to help parents take back control. From toddlers to teens, this is the digital wake-up call every parent needs. KEY POINTS Startling Stats: Aussie teens average 7 hours of screen time per day. 12% use screens more than 80 hours per week. 70% of 10-year-olds “own” smartphones. 60% of Australian girls report severe distress from cyberbullying. 4 Uncomfortable Truths for Parents: Real-world problems predict digital problems. Kids in distress offline turn to screens for escape. Most parents are fighting the wrong war. The issue is less about screen time and more about content and connection. It’s a bi-directional trap. Poor mental health drives screen addiction, and screen use worsens mental health. Parental hypocrisy matters. Kids don’t listen if we model the very behaviour we criticise. The Hidden Costs of Screen Use: Depression, anxiety, loneliness, academic decline, sleep issues, and family conflict all rise with excessive and unsupervised screen use. The Real Solution: Strong offline relationships, autonomy-supportive parenting, and a focus on values, not just rules or limits. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “You can’t lift someone up if you’re underneath them. You’ve got to stand on high ground.” — Justin Coulson RESOURCES MENTIONED OECD Report: How’s Life for Children in the Digital Age? The Parenting Revolution by Justin Coulson Happy Families Webinars and Courses Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg Past episodes on sextortion and gaming ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS For Kids Aged 0–7: Be present during screen time or avoid it altogether. Keep devices out of bedrooms—model this yourself. Avoid gamified apps and addictive content. Prioritise simple, slow-paced shows (e.g., Bluey). For Kids Aged 8–12: Create a co-designed family media plan. Prioritise what they’re consuming, not just how much. Invest in offline activities and friendships—nature, play, and sport are protective. For Teens: Shift from control to collaboration. Support autonomy and solve problems with them. Address root issues—mental health, loneliness, stress—before tackling screen habits. Model healthy screen use. Walk your talk, or your words will fall flat. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Is your child’s gaming habit harmless fun—or something more serious? In this episode, Justin and Kylie Coulson share highlights from an eye-opening conversation with Scott Novis, a former Disney and Nintendo gaming executive. They discuss how modern games are designed to hook kids using sophisticated psychological techniques, what parents can do to support healthier habits, and the small shifts that make big differences in digital wellbeing. KEY POINTS The "Hooked Algorithm": Modern games use cues, unpredictable rewards, and psychological manipulation to drive compulsive use—especially among kids. Addiction Is by Design: Notifications, in-game incentives, and persistent online features are engineered to steal attention and limit agency. Console Games vs. Online Games: Games played offline on a console with a defined endpoint are less addictive than online, never-ending games. Digital Detox Strategies: Removing screens, increasing nature time, and focusing on physical activity can reset unhealthy patterns. Agency is the Key: Healthy gaming promotes a sense of control and mastery. Unhealthy games rob kids of their agency and drive compulsive behaviour. Warning Signs: Sleep disturbances, sneaky screen use, emotional outbursts, or secretive behaviours may signal an unhealthy gaming relationship. Parents Aren’t Immune: Even adults struggle with screen control—our own detox experiences can inform how we guide our kids. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “Are these games reinforcing their sense of agency—or deleting it?” — Scott Novis RESOURCES MENTIONED Upcoming full interview with Scott Novis (drops Saturday) Book: Stolen Focus by Johann Hari (referenced) HappyFamilies.com.au – screen-time webinars and parenting resources ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Know the Hook: Understand how modern games manipulate attention and behaviour using psychological rewards. Audit the Games: Prioritise offline games with defined endings. Avoid always-on, online, in-app-reward-driven games. Turn Off Notifications: Disable alerts to reduce temptation and constant interruption. Create Tech-Free Routines: Set clear screen bedtimes and keep devices out of bedrooms. Watch for Warning Signs: Pay attention to sleep issues, irritability, or secretive behaviours. Detox Together: Plan regular family screen detoxes—go offline, get into nature, and rediscover agency. Talk Openly: Ask your kids how games make them feel—listen without judgement and create a collaborative plan for balance. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What do you do when every interaction with your child feels like a battle? Today we respond to a mum’s heartfelt question about her 11-year-old daughter, who is struggling with screaming, lying, and constant conflict. We explore the psychological needs behind difficult behaviour and share practical, compassionate strategies for rebuilding connection—especially when all you feel like doing is correcting. KEY POINTS Challenging Behaviour Is Communication: Kids act out when their basic needs—connection, autonomy, and competence—aren’t being met. The Correction Trap: When every interaction becomes about control or discipline, children feel unseen, unheard, and undervalued. Slow Down to Reconnect: Rebuilding the relationship requires presence, patience, and sometimes stepping completely away from “the agenda.” Parental Self-Awareness Matters: Many parents unintentionally undermine connection through well-meaning but misdirected responses. Lifestyle Matters: Sleep, nutrition, movement, screen time, and social connection all have huge impacts on emotional and behavioural wellbeing. The Psychological Load of Puberty: Eleven is a big age—especially for girls. Body changes, identity confusion, and peer pressures amplify emotional volatility. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “If you want to speed it up, you’ve got to slow it down. If you want control, you’ve got to give them voice.”— Dr Justin Coulson RESOURCES MENTIONED Book: Misconnection: Why Your Teenage Daughter Hates You, Expects the World & Needs to Talk by Dr Justin Coulson Podcast Reference: Pop Culture Parenting by Billy Garvey Research Mentioned: Sapiens Lab study on early device use and mental health ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Pause the Correction Cycle: Focus less on behaviour and more on what your child might be trying to communicate. Rebuild Connection: Prioritise quality time—go for a bike ride, hit the beach, or just be together with no agenda. Validate & Listen: Show your child you see and hear them, even if you don’t agree with their behaviour. Assess Lifestyle Factors: Review sleep, nutrition, screen time, physical activity, and relationships. Reflect on Your Responses: Ask yourself—are your well-intentioned actions unintentionally adding fuel to the fire? Give Her Voice: Offer choices, listen to her preferences, and include her in problem-solving. Get Support if Needed: If mental health concerns persist, seek help from professionals. Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletterSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Is your child’s schedule packed from morning to night—or are they struggling with too much downtime? Today we explore the pressure parents feel to provide enrichment, the unintended consequences of overscheduling, and why finding the "sweet spot" of activities matters. Plus, we give practical, compassionate guidance to help families strike a healthy balance between stimulation, growth, and the simple joys of being a kid. KEY POINTS: The Pressure to Perform: Some communities foster competitive parenting cultures where success is measured by how "busy" and advanced kids are. Overscheduling Risks: Too many activities, especially at a young age, can lead to burnout, injury, anxiety, and screen dependence. The Value of Boredom: Downtime activates the brain’s default mode network, critical for identity formation and creativity. Joy Over Achievement: Extra-curriculars should feel like a highlight of the week—not a chore. Parental Motivations: Sometimes we push activities to validate our own efforts, not because they truly benefit the child. Finding the Sweet Spot: One or two joy-filled, child-led activities per week—plus unstructured time for play and connection—is often enough. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: “Sometimes the best thing for a child is simply the freedom to be a child.” — Justin Coulson RESOURCES MENTIONED: Happy Families Website: happyfamilies.com.au Justin Coulson's books and parenting presentations (particularly on resilience and child development) ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Evaluate Motivations: Ask yourself if the activities your child is in are for their growth—or your peace of mind or pride. Limit Activities: Aim for 1–2 extracurriculars per week, chosen based on your child’s genuine interests and capacity. Prioritise Unstructured Play: Make space for relaxed, screen-free time with friends or solo play to develop creativity and identity. Watch for Burnout Signs: If your child resists or dreads their activities, it may be time to scale back. Invest in Family Time: Schedule regular, quality time together. Family connection is foundational to wellbeing. Redefine Boredom: Don’t rush to fill every moment. Boredom can be a gateway to deeper thinking and imagination. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this warm and essential conversation, Dr. Justin Coulson sits down with author, educator, and parenting expert Michelle Mitchell to explore how parents can navigate conversations around sex, puberty, consent, and identity with their children aged 8–12. Michelle shares insights from her book Where Do Babies Come From?, offering parents practical tools to talk about tricky topics with clarity, confidence, and compassion. KEY POINTS: Parents often feel unsure or awkward when kids ask about sex, reproduction, or body changes—but avoiding the topic can lead to misinformation and anxiety. Michelle's book is written for kids aged 8–12 and includes age-appropriate detail, wraparound values, and medical illustrations to provide clarity and context. Talking about sex should include conversations about respect, emotional intimacy, and consent—not just the mechanics. Children benefit from being book “bosses”—given agency and choice about how, when, and with whom to learn this information. Respecting a child’s privacy and emotional readiness is crucial; discomfort is normal and protective. Conversations about consent start with everyday experiences: knocking before entering, asking before touching, and even checking in before offering advice. Identity and family story matter deeply—every child deserves to feel seen and safe, no matter how they came into the world. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: “If you don’t ever want that to happen to your body, you don’t have to—because anything to do with sex is 100% your choice.” —Michelle Mitchell RESOURCES MENTIONED: Where Do Babies Come From? by Michelle Mitchell The Girl’s Guide to Puberty and The Guy’s Guide to Puberty by Michelle Mitchell Michelle Mitchell’s website: www.michellemitchell.org Happy Families Website: www.happyfamilies.com.au Australian Government's Consent Can’t Wait Campaign ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Start Early: Begin conversations around body parts, privacy, and consent well before puberty. Choose the Right Resources: Use age-appropriate books like Michelle's to guide your conversations and revisit them often. Normalise Curiosity: Let your children know it’s okay to ask questions—nothing is off-limits. Respect Autonomy: Ask if your child wants to read with you or alone; offer space but stay present and open. Model Consent Daily: Ask permission before touching or offering advice to build mutual respect. Value Connection Over Perfection: You don’t need to have perfect answers—just be available and genuine.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Sometimes, the best thing we can do for our family… is slow down. In this reflective I’ll Do Better Tomorrow episode, Justin and Kylie Coulson share the power of pausing, being present, and choosing connection over control. From Sunday night beach walks to heartfelt conversations with teenage daughters, this episode is a gentle reminder that the simple moments matter most. KEY POINTS: Presence > Productivity. Slowing down, ditching the schedule, and being together—like a spontaneous walk after dinner—can be the reset your family needs. Connection is the goal. Whether you're navigating tough teen years or sharing a sunset, strong relationships grow from time, conversation, and attention. Repair matters more than perfection. Every parent will make mistakes. What counts is how we acknowledge, repair, and grow through them. Children are wired to connect. They want close relationships with us. Our job is to not let ego or defensiveness get in the way. Grace + ownership = healing. When your child opens up about past hurt, resist defensiveness. Instead, acknowledge it, own it, and seek forgiveness. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: “Our children are biologically wired to connect with us. We’ve just got to make sure we don’t get in the way of that.” RESOURCES MENTIONED: The Parenting Revolution – Dr Justin Coulson’s latest book Happy Families School Membership – For parent engagement and wellbeing resources ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Plan nothing. Take one evening this week to leave the agenda behind. Go for a walk, sit together, be still. Check in deeply. Ask one of your kids: “What’s been hard for you lately?” And listen—fully. Apologise when needed. If your child opens up about hurt or resentment, resist the urge to defend. Acknowledge their truth and offer a sincere, humble “I’m sorry.” Model forgiveness and grace. Let your children see that love doesn’t require perfection—just connection and accountability. Strengthen the bond. Say “yes” to spontaneous togetherness. It might become a memory your child cherishes forever.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Why are so many girls struggling with anxiety, low mood, and poor mental health—and why are they starting to think it’s normal? In this Doctor’s Desk episode, Dr Justin and Kylie Coulson unpack recent UK research that asked teen girls themselves what's causing their distress. The answers are confronting: gender expectations, academic pressure, toxic friendships, and social media. But there’s hope. This episode offers real parenting solutions to help our girls thrive. KEY POINTS: Girls are normalising poor mental health. That’s not okay. We need to intervene early with meaningful support and connection. Narrow gender expectations hurt. Whether they lean into “girly” or “tomboy,” girls feel judged either way. Let them follow their authentic interests, not societal labels. Academic pressure is intense. Many girls feel they must succeed and that failing means they’re a failure. That belief is contributing to rising anxiety. Friendships can be fraught. Judgy, competitive peer dynamics—especially around appearance and eating—erode girls’ confidence and mental health. Social media fuels comparison. Girls see everyone else’s “perfect” lives and feel like they don’t measure up. The myth of the perfectable life is everywhere. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: “Poor mental health shouldn’t be normal. It should be the exception—not the expectation.” RESOURCES MENTIONED: University of Manchester research (linked in show notes) Miss Connection: Why Your Teenage Daughter Hates You, Expects the World, and Needs to Talk – By Dr Justin Coulson Happy Families School Membership ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Break the gender box. Support your daughter’s interests, whatever they are. Expose her to a wide range of hobbies and possibilities. Ease academic pressure. Model balance, share your own stories of failure and recovery, and consider the value of a gap year post-high school. Prioritise quality friendships. Encourage your child to nurture one or two deep, loyal friendships over being "popular." Create strong tech boundaries. Monitor screen time, model healthy device use, and ask reflective questions about how social media makes them feel. Eat dinner together. Regular family time at the table builds belonging, boosts well-being, and keeps the door open for tough conversations. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When your 8-year-old asks, “Where do babies come from?” how do you respond—without panicking? In this episode, Justin and Kylie Coulson share a sneak peek from an upcoming full interview with parenting author Michelle Mitchell about how to answer kids’ trickiest questions around procreation, intimacy, and consent. With warmth and practical wisdom, this conversation helps you feel more confident about when to talk, what to say, and how to create safe, shame-free conversations at every age. KEY POINTS: Start early and keep it simple. Naming body parts from a young age normalises these conversations and lays the foundation for later discussions about intimacy and consent. It’s never one big talk—it’s lots of little ones. Open, ongoing conversations build trust and make it easier for your child to ask more questions over time. You don’t need to get it perfect—just talk. Whether your style is open and casual or more private and reserved, what matters is that you're talking. Consent starts with valuing the body. Children need to understand their body is important, personal, and deserves respect—this frames later discussions about consent and intimacy in a meaningful, protective way. Humour helps. Be ready for funny, awkward, or unexpected responses. Respond with warmth, and follow your child’s lead on what they’re ready for. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: “It doesn’t matter how your family talks—at the dinner table or quietly in private. What matters is that you’re talking.” RESOURCES MENTIONED: Where Do Babies Come From? And Other Questions 8–12 Year Olds Ask – Michelle Mitchell’s newest book for kids and parents The Girl’s Guide to Puberty and The Guy’s Guide to Puberty – Also by Michelle Mitchell Happy Families School Membership Coming Soon: Full interview with Michelle Mitchell (Saturday episode) ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Start with naming. Use proper terminology for body parts from the toddler years to normalise respectful language. Create a safe atmosphere. Be open to your child’s questions without judgement—even if you feel uncomfortable. Match your message to your child’s age. Answer what they’re asking, and don’t overshare if they’re not ready. Read together. Use age-appropriate books like Michelle’s to guide conversations and give your child permission to explore topics at their pace. Teach consent through value. Help your child understand that their body is special and deserves care and respect—this lays the groundwork for deeper conversations later. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In today’s Tricky Questions episode, Justin and Kylie answer Kim’s heartfelt question: How do we raise young adult males and stay connected when we don’t agree with their choices? Whether your son is 16 or 26, this episode is full of practical, compassionate advice about letting go of control, nurturing connection, and guiding your son’s journey into manhood without damaging the relationship. KEY POINTS: Independence is the goal. Young men need to pull away to become their own person. This is healthy and expected development—not defiance. Connection > Control. Every attempt to correct or direct your young adult without enough relational “water in the bucket” weakens your influence. Prioritise staying close. Rites of passage matter. Boys don’t just “become men” by aging—they seek experiences to prove themselves. Without intentional guidance, they’ll create risky alternatives (like Schoolies, binge drinking, etc.). Defer respectfully. As children grow, parents should move from cocooning → reasoned cocooning → pre-arming → reasoned deference → full deference. Ask for consent to influence. If you want to share advice, first ask: “Are you open to hearing some ideas?” If the answer is no, focus on rebuilding connection. Your presence matters more than your opinion. The way you show up—without judgement, with genuine interest—determines whether your young adult wants to stay close or push away. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: “If our relationship is a bucket, connection is the water. Correction and direction? That’s just air. And no one wants to carry an empty bucket.” RESOURCES MENTIONED: Happy Families School Membership: A resource hub for schools and parents seeking connection-based parenting support. Justin’s upcoming book on raising boys and young men (sign up now to hear all the details!) More on rites of passage from Dr Arne Rubinstein in the Bringing Up Boys Summit ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Step back from control. Accept that your child’s job is to grow away from you. Your job? Stay close enough that they still want to come back. Check your relationship “bucket.” Before correcting or advising, ask: Is there enough connection here for this to be received well? Use the deference ladder. Ages 0–7: Cocoon 8–13: Reasoned cocooning 13–15: Pre-arming 15–17: Reasoned deference 18+: Full deference with permission to advise Build trust by asking permission. Instead of jumping in with opinions, say: “Would you be open to hearing a thought I have?” Let them grow. Sometimes, encouraging your child to move out or take more responsibility is the healthiest path forward—even if it’s inconvenient or uncomfortable. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Last week Justin and Kylie discussed Chappell Roan's recent claim that everyone she knows who has kids is miserable. Listen to episode #1245 - Mothers & Happiness In light of this, we thought we'd replay episode #1072 - an interview with journalist Angela Mollard about an article where she asked if parenting needs a PR job. The link to that article is in the notes below. Journalist Angela Mollard writes that "[a]n age of confession and vulnerability has seen parenting rebranded as a challenging, joyless, expensive, and freedom-sapping decision. They forgot the awesome bits." On the podcast today, Angela chats with Justing about finding the joy in parenting, the importance of perspective and gratitude, and why we must speak of the great parts of parenthood—because although parenting is hard, it's absolutely worth it! In this episode: The vulnerabilities VS the joys of parenting Parenting needs a PR job? Blame the mummy bloggers | Angela Mollard | The Daily Telegraph Finding fulfilment in parenting Generational differences Gratitude Look for the 'glimmers' every day #148 Flecks of Gold Perspective Being present What Your Child Needs From You by Dr Justin Coulson (use coupon code SPRING15 for a sneaky discount! Ends 6/5/24) Related links: Parenting Made Easy(er) Unplugging Parenthood (and being present!) Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership NEW weekly kids’ ‘Print & Play’ subscription FELT (Fostering Emotional Learning Together) Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletterSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode of I’ll Do Better Tomorrow, Justin and Kylie share two powerful parenting wins from their week—one about holding firm with limits and another about letting go with trust. Together, they reflect on how boundaries, autonomy, and persistence are essential ingredients in helping children grow into capable, responsible decision-makers. KEY POINTS: Children need clear, consistent boundaries—especially when it comes to expectations and screen time. Limits may be met with resistance, but they help children develop resilience and internal motivation. Giving children autonomy over their food choices (within a supportive structure) can lead to lasting learning and healthier habits. Parenting isn’t about eliminating struggle—it’s about guiding our kids through it, patiently and consistently. Trust the long game: small wins add up over time. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: “Once you do the hard stuff, then you get to do the good stuff.” RESOURCES MENTIONED: Explore–Explain–Empower discipline frameworkhappyfamilies.com.au ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Hold the boundary—even when it’s inconvenient. Kids learn what matters when we stay consistent. Allow space for autonomy—give kids opportunities to feel the natural outcomes of their choices. Celebrate the small wins—even when progress is slow, it still counts. Avoid the path of least resistance—growth often comes through struggle, not shortcuts. Trust the process—support, scaffold, and repeat. Your persistence will pay off. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We take a deep dive into the increasingly visible “furry” phenomenon among young people. What is it? Why is it happening? And most importantly, how should parents respond? From identity development to mental health concerns, online risks, and compassionate parenting strategies, this episode tackles the hard questions with clarity and care. KEY POINTS: Furries are individuals who adopt animal identities ("fursonas"), often through costumes, behaviours, or online personas. The trend is increasingly visible in schools and online, often linked with broader identity and mental health issues. Studies show high rates of anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation among those identifying as furries. The furry community may offer temporary escape and affirmation, but it often delays deeper emotional work. Online spaces often amplify and affirm furriness, making digital monitoring essential. Role-play is a central component, particularly attractive to neurodiverse young people seeking to manage anxiety. Strong family relationships, boundaries, and compassionate but clear guidance are essential. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: "If I have a child who wants to bark at me, I want to tell them how much I miss hearing their voice." – Kylie Coulson RESOURCES MENTIONED: University of Waikato Study (2018) – A key study exploring furry identity and mental health (link provided in episode show notes). HappyFamilies.com.au – Parenting resources and support. FurScience.net—Referenced with caution due to affirmation bias. ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Set clear, compassionate boundaries – Affirm your child's humanity while being loving and firm. Monitor digital activity – Block furry content and supervise online platforms where furry communities gather. Redirect creativity – Encourage healthy outlets like art, drama, and team sports. Strengthen real-world relationships – Help children build social connections offline. Seek professional support – Engage a qualified psychologist who explores root causes, not just symptoms. Respond with compassion, not punishment – Let your child know they are deeply loved and seen, even when their behaviour is difficult. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

How do you juggle a high-powered global career and single motherhood — and still show up for your child with presence and purpose? In this inspiring episode, Justin speaks with Sarah Armstrong, Vice President of Global Marketing Operations at Google and author of The Art of the Juggling Act: A Bite-Sized Guide for Working Parents. Sarah shares practical insights on setting boundaries, overcoming mum guilt, building a support network, and navigating divorce with grace — all while raising a well-rounded daughter. KEY POINTS: Setting and protecting boundaries is critical to successful work-family balance. Communicating your boundaries to others is as important as establishing them. Mum guilt is real — but grace and self-talk like “I’m doing the best I can” help reframe it. A solid support system — whether formal or informal — is essential for working parents. Children benefit from being included in adult conversations and exposed to diverse role models. A “good divorce” is possible through conscious, respectful co-parenting and emotional self-regulation. You can't control others' behaviour—but you can control your own responses, especially around your kids. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: "Our kids deserve a few hours of our undivided attention. I didn’t just set boundaries — I protected them." – Sarah Armstrong RESOURCES MENTIONED: The Art of the Juggling Act: A Bite-Sized Guide for Working Parents by Sarah Armstrong Visit: happyfamilies.com.au ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Define your non-negotiable boundaries (e.g., family time, tech-free windows). Communicate those boundaries clearly to work colleagues, clients, and family. Build a diverse support network — friends, neighbours, co-parents, and community members. Practice grace-based self-talk: Remind yourself, “I’m doing the best I can.” Include your kids in adult life — expose them to positive role models and conversations. In separation or divorce, prioritise your child’s emotional safety by regulating your own behaviour and language around them. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What do you do when your child comes home from the other parent’s house completely dysregulated—tantrums, tears, and turmoil? In this episode, Justin and Kylie respond to a heartfelt question from a grandparent caring for her four-year-old grandson. Together, they explore why these transitions are so tough, what’s really going on beneath the surface, and how to create calm, connection, and consistency after a disruptive change in environment. KEY POINTS: Transition distress is common for kids moving between homes, especially in co-parenting situations. Tantrums are not misbehaviour—they’re a child’s way of saying, “I’m overwhelmed and don’t know how to cope.” Emotional storms after change can be a sign of trust—kids release emotions where they feel safest. A “transition toolkit” can soften the landing when children return from the other parent’s house. Predictable routines, consistent rituals, and physical or emotional regulation activities make a big difference. Compassionate communication—within and between households—helps reduce stress and confusion for everyone. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:“The most important gift we can give our kids is a consistent, compassionate response.” RESOURCES MENTIONED: happyfamilies.com.au – Parenting support and resources Submit your own tricky question: podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au or leave a voice message at happyfamilies.com.au ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Create a Soft Landing: After a transition, keep things calm, quiet, and low-stimulation. Avoid errands or activities. Establish Connection Rituals: Use consistent, comforting activities like a shared snack, special book, or photo album. Support Emotional Regulation: Offer hugs, breathing exercises, or safe physical play to help them reset. Validate Without Endorsing: Accept their feelings (“It’s okay to be upset”) while gently guiding behaviour. Use Visual Supports: Calendars, countdowns, and transitional objects (like a favourite toy or photo) help children prepare. Communicate Across Households: When possible, work towards consistency in routines and expectations between homes. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Pop star Chappell Roan recently claimed that all her friends with kids are “in hell” and have “no light in their eyes.” But is parenthood really as bleak as she makes it out to be? In this thought-provoking episode, Justin and Kylie Coulson unpack this viral comment with equal parts data, personal reflection, and heartfelt perspective. Together, they explore the complex relationship between parenting and happiness—and why the hard parts often make family life more meaningful, not less. KEY POINTS: Chapel Roan’s viral claim about the misery of parenthood sparked a deeper conversation about happiness and raising kids. Research shows that while parenting is hard, it can also lead to greater meaning and long-term satisfaction. Married parents report higher happiness than unmarried or childless individuals, despite the challenges. Our culture often values ease and independence—but meaning and deep connection are built through effort. Parenthood brings emotional richness, not just “happiness” in the moment. Blanket statements about parenting overlook the light, joy, and depth it brings to many lives. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:“I’m so rich—life is so rich—because every time I look at one of my kids, I think: this is what it’s all about.” — Kylie Coulson RESOURCES MENTIONED: Happiness research from the U.S. on parents vs. non-parents Paul Bloom & Roy Baumeister’s work on meaning and parenthood Instagram post from @tessapitter: “Dear Chapel Roan, I’ve never had more light in my eyes.” happyfamilies.com.au – Parenting resources for a happier family life ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Reframe your expectations – Hard doesn’t mean bad. Meaning often grows through challenge. Celebrate small joys – Whether it’s tying a shoelace or a shared laugh, these moments matter. Resist comparison culture – Social media snapshots don’t reflect the richness of your lived experience. Share your light – Let your kids see your joy, even in the chaos. They’re watching—and it shapes them. Choose presence over perfection – Fulfilment in parenthood isn’t about getting it “right,” but being there with love and intention. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ADHD is now the most diagnosed condition among Australian children under 14, and anxiety tops the list for teens. In this important episode, Dr Justin Coulson speaks with clinical psychologist Dr Jaimie Northam about the rise in childhood mental health challenges, the role of early intervention, and how parents can meaningfully support their kids. From understanding the signs to cutting through the online overwhelm, this conversation provides practical tools, gentle encouragement, and hope for families navigating tough seasons. KEY POINTS: ADHD and anxiety are rising dramatically among Australian children and teens. Family stress and digital distractions impact parent-child connection more than screen time itself. The three D’s to watch for: Distress, Dysfunction, and Deviation from typical development. A simple 10-minute connection with your child can dramatically improve behaviour and emotional resilience. Early mental health challenges often persist if left unaddressed — but early intervention can prevent long-term impact. Overexposure to conflicting parenting advice online can add to parental stress and confusion. Evidence-based strategies should fit both the child and the family — even among credible experts, one size does not fit all. The Growing Minds Check-In is a free, research-backed tool to assess your child’s wellbeing and get tailored support. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:“Half of all child mental health problems emerge before age twelve — and many become lifelong if we don’t act early.” — Dr Jaimie Northam RESOURCES MENTIONED: Growing Minds Check-In Study — growingmindscheckin.au Dr Jaimie Northam (University of Sydney) – Clinical psychologist and researcher happyfamilies.com.au – Parenting resources and support ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Use the Growing Minds Check-In: In just six minutes, assess your child’s wellbeing and receive customised recommendations. Schedule 10 minutes of ‘special time’ daily to connect with your child on their terms — no agenda, just play. Watch for the 3 D’s: Distress, Dysfunction, and Deviation — and seek early support if you notice any. Filter online advice carefully: Prioritise approaches that are research-backed, clearly explained, and suited to your child’s needs. Model self-regulation: If you’re too tired to engage well, set a respectful boundary — and follow through with connection later. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this heartwarming 'I'll Do Better Tomorrow' episode, Justin and Kylie share personal parenting wins and lessons from the week that was—featuring an inspiring story from Happy Families team member Mim. From the transformative power of early mornings to the deep connection built through presence, this episode is all about slowing down, showing up, and making time for what matters most. KEY POINTS: Mim shares how getting up early—after 18 years of waking when her kids wake—transformed her mornings, mental clarity, and ability to parent calmly. Kylie reflects on three powerful conversations she had with her daughters, all made possible by slowing down and being fully present. Justin recalls a moment of simple joy: the family naturally gathering in the kitchen, emphasising how unhurried time together creates connection. Time is the essential currency of love—our children need it, even when they don’t ask for it directly. Small changes in our routines can lead to big shifts in our family dynamics and overall wellbeing. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:“Connection, feeling seen, heard and valued is the currency of our relationships.” — Justin Coulson RESOURCES MENTIONED: Episode 1165: The Sleep Secret Nobody’s Talking About happyfamilies.com.au — Tools and resources for making your family happier ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Wake Up With Intention: Try waking up 30–60 minutes earlier than usual. Use this time to care for yourself before the chaos begins. Gift Presence: Notice the moments when your children might need you most—even when it’s inconvenient—and choose connection. Reach Out: Call or check in with a child you may not have spoken to deeply in a while. Your presence can shift their entire week. Slow It Down: Clear some weekend space for unhurried time together—visit a market, prepare food, enjoy simple rituals. Listen Closely: Don’t rush conversations. A single extra question can open up the emotional space your child needs. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Liking Gap: Why Your Kids Are More Likable Than They Think Have you ever walked away from a conversation thinking you totally bombed it—only to find out later that the other person actually liked you? This “liking gap” is more common than you think, especially in kids. In this Doctor’s Desk episode, Justin and Kylie explore fascinating new research about why we often underestimate how much others enjoy our company. They share insights from a large study on self-esteem, anxiety, and likability, and unpack what it all means for our children and their friendships. Plus, a personal story about Kylie’s first meeting with Justin’s mum that perfectly illustrates how wrong our first impressions can be. KEY POINTS: The liking gap is the psychological tendency to believe others like us less than they actually do. Low self-esteem and high social anxiety can amplify this gap, especially in children and teens. Real-world data shows most people are more accepted and liked than they realize. Kylie shares a vulnerable story about feeling disliked by Justin’s mum—which turned out to be the opposite of the truth. Kids need to feel safe, heard, and valued in their interactions to close the liking gap. Teaching children to focus on quality interaction over perceived popularity helps reduce relational anxiety. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:“Your child walks away from interactions feeling like they’ve bombed—when in reality, they’ve probably scored and they don’t even know it.” RESOURCES MENTIONED: Study by Sugani, Sarah et al. at the University of Toronto on self-esteem, anxiety, and the liking gap Misconnection by Dr. Justin Coulson – insights from teenage girls on friendships Visit happyfamilies.com.au for additional resources ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Normalise the Liking Gap: Help your child understand that it's common to underestimate how much others like us. Boost Their Confidence: Support self-esteem by validating their feelings and encouraging their voice at home. Assume Positive Intent: Teach your kids to give others the benefit of the doubt rather than jumping to negative conclusions. Shift the Focus: Encourage your children to concentrate on meaningful interactions rather than worrying about how they're perceived. Model Vulnerability: Share your own stories of mistaken assumptions about being liked to show they're not alone. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Some kids thrive anywhere. Others need more care to flourish. In this episode, Justin and Kylie Coulson explore the powerful metaphor of “dandelion and orchid” children—an idea shared by clinical psychologist Dr. Jamie Northam. They discuss how different temperaments impact mental health, why parenting must be tailored, and how to know when your child might need additional support. KEY POINTS: Dandelions are resilient children who thrive in most environments; orchids are more sensitive and require specific conditions to grow well. Evidence-based parenting strategies should be adaptable—not one-size-fits-all. Be cautious of advice from social media; always ask: Is there evidence? Are there clear steps? Does this suit my child? The “Three D’s” of mental health concern: Distress, Dysfunction, and Deviation from developmental norms. Good parenting meets a child where they are—not where we wish they were. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:“Parenting isn’t one-size-fits-all—what works for one child may fail completely with another.” RESOURCES MENTIONED: Full interview with Dr. Jamie Northam (airing Saturday) happyfamilies.com.au for evidence-based parenting resources ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Reflect on your child’s temperament—are they a dandelion or an orchid? Before following parenting advice, check if it's evidence-based, clearly explained, and appropriate for your child. Watch for the “Three D’s”: distress, dysfunction, and deviation from expected development. Adapt your parenting approach based on each child’s needs—not just what worked in the past. If concerned, seek professional support early—mental health matters at every age. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode of the Happy Families Podcast, Justin and Kylie tackle a tricky parenting dilemma: how to support your adult child without damaging the relationship. Responding to a listener's concern about her 20-year-old daughter's social media presence, they explore the importance of autonomy, the dangers of forceful guidance, and how parents can remain a supportive influence while respecting boundaries. KEY POINTS: Adult children crave autonomy; unsolicited advice often creates resistance. Connection, not correction, is the key to long-term influence. Dropping the parental agenda fosters openness and trust. Seek consent before offering advice to show respect and preserve the relationship. Employers do check social media – nearly 70% of them, according to the Harvard Business Review. When you share concerns respectfully, you plant seeds that may grow later. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:“Our kids, especially our young adults, want autonomy more than anything – it’s like oxygen to them.” RESOURCES MENTIONED: Harvard Business Review statistic: ~70% of employers check candidates’ social media. Happy Families Podcast – Submit tricky questions via happyfamilies.com.au/podcast ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Let go of the agenda – Accept that your adult child will make their own choices. Prioritise connection – Build trust through presence, interest, and nonjudgmental conversation. Ask for permission – Before giving advice, say: “Would you be open to hearing a thought I have?” Share perspective, not prescriptions – Offer insights gently and leave space for reflection. Respect autonomy – Even when it’s hard, show you trust their ability to learn from experience. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this heartfelt episode of the Happy Families Podcast, Justin and Kylie take a nostalgic look back at the parenting moments that once felt overwhelming — but now feel deeply missed. From sleepless nights to endless toddler questions, they reflect on the beauty hidden in the chaos of raising young children, and why it’s so important to soak up the season you’re in. KEY POINTS: Parents often miss the toddler years despite how exhausting and chaotic they were. Moments that once drove us crazy — bedtime routines, 3am wakeups, tantrums — are now fond memories. The constant questions from curious toddlers were a sign of trust and connection. Parenting in the early years was hard, but it was also a time of deep attachment and presence. There’s a growing challenge in maintaining community and “the village” that helps raise a child. Slowing down and being present in the moment is easier said than done — but always worth it. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:"I wish I loved it more when I was in it, but I just didn’t have the perspective." RESOURCES MENTIONED: HappyFamilies.com.au – for more parenting resources. You can read all of the comments on that Facebook post here. ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Take a moment today to pause and notice something beautiful in the chaos — even if it’s hard. Write down a memory from a tough stage of parenting that now makes you smile. Reach out to someone in your parenting village — connection makes the hard moments easier. Give yourself grace: you won’t always love every moment, but being present matters more than being perfect. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We sit down with world-renowned author and speaker Alfie Kohn to explore why traditional discipline methods—punishments and rewards—don’t truly work. We unpack how control-based parenting backfires, what the research says about intrinsic motivation, and how parents can move from “doing things to children” to “working with children” to foster true moral development and connection. KEY POINTS: Punishment teaches power, not morality—it damages relationships and promotes self-interest over empathy. Rewards, including praise and star charts, undermine intrinsic motivation and long-term growth. Both punishments and rewards focus on short-term compliance at the cost of deeper learning and ethical development. Real change happens when parents collaborate with children, exploring problems and empowering kids to find solutions. Effective parenting means questioning whether our expectations are reasonable and focusing on trust and respect. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:“All rewards are just sugar-coated control.” RESOURCES MENTIONED: Punished by Rewards by Alfie Kohn Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn Happy Families resources – happyfamilies.com.au ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Shift from control to collaboration—work with your child to solve problems, rather than doing things to them. Question your assumptions—ask yourself whether your expectations are developmentally appropriate and reasonable. Talk less, ask more—engage your child in reflective conversations about their choices and experiences. Move beyond rewards and punishments—focus on building intrinsic motivation by nurturing autonomy, competence, and relatedness. Stay patient—working with children takes more effort initially but leads to deeper, lasting change and stronger relationships. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Three powerful takeaways from our Easter holidays—lessons about mindset, risk, and meaningful connection. From a life-changing mindset shift at the Easter Show to a serious accident that reinforced the importance of risky play, plus a week without screens that revealed what kids really crave, this episode is packed with insight and inspiration for every parent. KEY POINTS: Mindset shapes experience: The same event can feel completely different when approached with a different attitude and realistic expectations. Risky play matters: Children need opportunities to push boundaries and take risks—it builds resilience, courage, and learning, even when things go wrong. Time is everything: What kids really want from us isn’t perfection—it’s time. Unplugging from screens and slowing down creates space for meaningful reflection and connection. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:“What our kids actually want and need… is just time.” RESOURCES MENTIONED: Explore–Explain–Empower framework (Justin Coulson) happyfamilies.com.au ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Check your mindset before heading into family events—set realistic expectations and choose connection over control. Encourage age-appropriate risk-taking (e.g., climbing trees, riding bikes)—it builds confidence and independence. Unplug regularly—create time and space for quiet reflection and intentional connection with your children. Give each child individual attention—consider what they uniquely need from you right now. Practice being present—ditch the schedule and just be with your kids, without distraction. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Is it true that women speak far more than men—or is that just a stereotype? In this playful but thoughtful episode, Justin and Kylie Coulson unpack the latest research on gender and communication, challenge outdated myths, and explore what it means for raising connected, considerate kids. Plus, practical strategies for parents dealing with the infamous teenage grunt! KEY POINTS: Early studies suggested significant differences in the number of words men and women use daily—but newer research shows the gap is much smaller. Adult women speak slightly more than men (around 1,400 extra words per day), but the difference is not dramatic. Among adolescents and young adults, differences in word count are minimal. In older adults (65+), men actually speak more than women. Communication is essential to human connection and should be modelled intentionally in families. Parents should teach teens to communicate considerately, even when they prefer silence. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:“To be human is to communicate.” RESOURCES MENTIONED: Research study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus by John Gray (mentioned critically) Happy Families website – happyfamilies.com.au ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Model open and frequent communication—let your kids see healthy conversation at home. Teach empathy and consideration—encourage kids to respond kindly, even when they don't feel like talking. Invite teens into connection without pressure—engage them in activities like walks, drives, or casual outings. Normalise different communication styles—some kids need space; respect that while keeping the door open. Dump the old stereotypes—focus on building genuine, respectful communication, not fitting into outdated gender norms. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What if both punishments and rewards were doing more harm than good? In this thought-provoking episode, Dr. Justin and Kylie Coulson preview a powerful interview with renowned author and social critic Alfie Kohn, whose work challenges everything we thought we knew about behavior, discipline, and motivation. Discover why traditional approaches to parenting might be undermining your child’s moral development—and what to do instead. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:"Punishment teaches power. It undermines the possibility of moral growth in children." — Alfie Kohn KEY INSIGHTS FOR PARENTS: Punishments Breed Self-Interest: When children are punished, they focus inward on avoiding pain, not outward on the consequences of their actions for others. Rewards Are the Flip Side of Punishments: Offering incentives fosters compliance, not character—and undermines intrinsic motivation. Consequences ≠ Learning: Just because something causes suffering doesn’t mean it leads to meaningful growth or moral insight. Transactional Parenting Limits Growth: Using "if-then" tactics (do this, get that) stifles empathy and moral reasoning. What We Really Want: Kids who do the right thing because it’s right, not because of fear or bribery. RESOURCES MENTIONED: Punished by Rewards by Alfie Kohn Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn Full interview with Alfie Kohn (airing Saturday on the Happy Families Podcast) Website: happyfamilies.com.au ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Reflect on Your Approach: Ask yourself—am I raising a rule follower or a morally grounded child? Minimise External Motivators: Reduce the use of punishments and rewards in everyday parenting. Focus on Conversations: Engage your child in discussions about values, empathy, and the impact of their actions. Model Moral Reasoning: Let your children see you making decisions based on principles, not payoffs. Tune in Saturday: Don’t miss the full conversation with Alfie Kohn for more transformative ideas. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What do you do when your teen pushes back on your tech boundaries—especially when they paid for the device themselves? In this episode, Dr. Justin and Kylie Coulson tackle two parent questions about teenage independence, screen use, and safety. They offer a practical, relationship-first strategy for navigating the tension between adolescent autonomy and parental responsibility, using their tried-and-tested "Three E's" framework to build connection and cooperation. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:"Rules without relationship will lead to rebellion." KEY INSIGHTS FOR PARENTS: Adolescents Seek Autonomy: Teens paying for their own devices often feel ownership equals full control—parents must acknowledge this growing independence. Confiscation Isn’t the Answer: Power-based strategies (like taking away devices) often fuel resistance and damage relationships. Use the Three E's: Explore, Explain, Empower is a proven method for having meaningful, collaborative conversations with teens. Set the Stage for Success: Food, comfort, and a non-threatening tone can make hard conversations easier and more productive. Trust Takes Time: Teens may resist at first, but consistency, humility, and genuine listening will eventually build mutual trust. RESOURCES MENTIONED: The Three E's of Effective Discipline framework by Dr. Justin Coulson Happy Families Podcast submission form: happyfamilies.com.au ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Create a Connection-First Environment: Use food or small comforts to set a positive tone before difficult conversations. Explore: Invite your teen to share their views. Reflect back what they say without judgment. Explain: Briefly share your concerns around things like sleep, safety, and relationships. Empower: Ask your teen to come up with solutions. Collaborate to find common ground that feels fair for both sides. Stay Consistent and Patient: If the first conversation doesn’t go well, try again. Building trust is a long game—but it's worth it. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Justin and Kylie reflect on a broken promise many families made during COVID — to never return to the rushed, overscheduled lives we previously lived. They explore the concept of "Hurried Child Syndrome," first introduced by Dr. David Elkind, and discuss the troubling impacts of pushing children to grow up too fast. With honesty and humor, they offer practical insights and three powerful strategies to help families slow down and reclaim childhood. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:"The number one way to unhurry childhood is to literally slow it down so the kids can be playing — especially with other kids, especially in unstructured activities." KEY INSIGHTS FOR PARENTS: Hurried Childhood Defined: Accelerated academics, overscheduling, early exposure to adult issues, and perfectionist pressures can rob children of their childhood. Mental Health Impact: Being hurried can lead to anxiety, depression, low resilience, and feelings of unworthiness. The Competitive Parenting Trap: Fear of children falling behind — academically or socially — often drives overscheduling. Unstructured Play is Crucial: It builds cognitive, social, and emotional development and is one of the best antidotes to a hurried life. Support, Don’t Script, Their Dreams: Children thrive when they pursue self-determined goals — not the aspirations imposed by well-meaning parents. Balance is Everything: A well-paced schedule with space for rest and connection supports wellbeing for both kids and parents. RESOURCES MENTIONED: Dr. David Elkind's research on Hurried Child Syndrome Interview with Olympic swimmer Emma McKeon (available on a previous Happy Families Podcast episode) The book “Parental Guidance” (referenced in Season 1) ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Prioritise Play: Make time for unstructured, child-led play — ideally with other children and without adult direction. Let Kids Lead: Encourage your children to set their own goals based on their passions and strengths. Create a Balanced Schedule: Limit extracurriculars and protect time for rest, relationships, and real connection. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The mental load in families isn't just about remembering school events or planning meals - it's an invisible, boundaryless, and enduring form of labour that impacts relationships, careers, and wellbeing. Join Professor Leah Ruppanner from the University of Melbourne as she unpacks groundbreaking research on how mental load affects modern families, why it's not just about task-sharing, and what couples can do to create more balance. Quote of the Episode: "The mental load is the emotional thinking work that we do to keep our households functioning." Key Insights: Women carry 71% of household mental load tasks. Mental load is invisible, boundary-less, and enduring. Both partners often duplicate mental load without realising. Schools generate nearly 3,000 WhatsApp messages per child annually. Men in equitable relationships report better health, sleep, and life satisfaction. Single parents (both mums and dads) share similar mental load levels. Work structures and social norms make it difficult for men to step into care roles. Mental load cannot be eliminated but can be better understood and managed. Resources Mentioned: Fair Play cards system Goldie app for managing school communications University of Melbourne research Misperceived podcast Professor Leah Ruppanner (@ProfLeah on Instagram) Action Steps for Parents: Start conversations about mental load without blame or past baggage. Consider how technology (like AI assistants) might help manage communications. Acknowledge both partners' different but equally valid mental burdens. Practice accepting help and taking breaks without guilt. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From dinosaur cartilage to gluten-free unicorn tears, the wellness industry has gone off the rails. Drawing from viral content creator Caitlin Murray's (@BigTimeAdulting) hilarious take on modern health advice, we unpack why women's health has become so complicated and offer practical alternatives to the supplement-heavy, social-media-driven wellness culture. Quote of the Episode: "The best health plan is the one that you can maintain long term." Key Insights: Modern wellness culture creates overwhelming and often contradictory advice Social media amplifies health anxiety and pressure The wellness industrial complex keeps adding complexity and cost Simple, sustainable changes often work better than extreme measures There's a difference between purchasing progress and earning it Family involvement can make healthy choices more sustainable Most health improvements require either time or money investment The basics (movement, whole foods, sleep) still matter most Resources Mentioned: BigTimeAdulting (Caitlin Murray) on Instagram Australian adult physical activity statistics Happy Families Action Steps for Parents: Focus on sustainable, long-term health habits rather than quick fixes Reduce social media consumption for better mental and physical health Make healthy choices a family activity rather than an individual burden Choose whole foods and regular movement over complicated supplement regimens See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Why do our kids lose it over the smallest things—and how can we help them hold it together? In this insightful episode, Justin and Kylie Coulson unpack what emotional regulation really means and share a simple 3-step framework to help kids (and parents!) handle big feelings more effectively. Whether it's tantrums, sibling fights, or homework meltdowns, these tools will help your family build emotional resilience—without losing your cool. KEY POINTS: Emotional regulation is about expressing or suppressing emotions appropriately to achieve long-term goals. Most children develop consistent regulation skills by age 9, but they still need support along the way. Regulation isn’t about suppressing feelings—it’s about processing them constructively. Parents must model regulation themselves, not just expect it from their kids. Three powerful parenting tools: Support, don’t solve – Be present and connected without taking over. Offer hints – Gently guide children through overwhelm with small, manageable steps. Read the room – Check for physical or emotional needs that might be driving big reactions. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:“Support, don’t solve—it builds competence, autonomy, and connection all at once.” RESOURCES MENTIONED: Walter Mischel's Marshmallow Experiment Self-Determination Theory HappyFamilies.com.au ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Pause before reacting—check your own emotional state before helping your child regulate theirs. Name the emotion and offer empathy—validate your child’s feelings without fixing them. Break big tasks into chunks—help your child manage overwhelm one step at a time. Create a regulation-friendly environment—watch for hunger, fatigue, or stress that may fuel dysregulation. Model emotional regulation—let your child see you process your emotions calmly and respectfully. Resources Mentioned: Walter Mischel's Marshmallow Experiment Self-Determination Theory HappyFamilies.com.au See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Consent isn’t just a conversation for teens—it starts from birth and evolves with every stage of childhood. In this important episode, Justin and Kylie Coulson unpack how to teach kids about consent from zero to adolescence. From tickle fights to tricky teen moments, this is your guide to raising respectful, confident kids who know their rights, understand boundaries, and feel empowered to speak up. KEY POINTS: Consent starts early: young children can learn body autonomy through everyday routines like bath time and tickling. Children should be taught they have a voice and their boundaries matter—even with trusted adults and relatives. From ages 6–12, focus on body language, verbal/non-verbal cues, and respect in friendships. For teenagers, conversations shift to romantic relationships, digital safety, and clear, enthusiastic consent. Consent is not a one-off talk—it’s an ongoing conversation based on empathy, safety, and empowerment. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:“If the person you’re with won’t be excited about what happened tomorrow, that’s not consent.” RESOURCES MENTIONED: Consent Can’t Wait – National campaign with age-appropriate, inclusive resources. Happy Families website – happyfamilies.com.au ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Start early: Give your child opportunities to express preferences about hugs, play, and physical affection. Use everyday language to explain consent during routines like dressing or bathing. Teach kids to read body language and respect “no”—even when it's non-verbal. Give your teens the tools to navigate peer pressure, digital safety, and intimacy with clarity and confidence. Remind your children that they owe no one access to their body—ever. Have open, ongoing conversations about boundaries, empathy, and healthy relationships—at every age. RELATED LINKS: #217 The Age of Consent with Rebecca Sparrow #226 More Than Consent Education with Melinda Tankard Reist Sex, Consent & Staying Safe [Webinar] #1071 - Body Boundaries With Jayneen Sanders Find us on Facebook Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What happens when a high-achieving mum, running two businesses and parenting three kids, discovers that the chaos in her life isn’t just “normal”—it’s undiagnosed ADHD? In this powerful and relatable conversation, Justin chats with former psychologist and ADHD advocate Jane McFadden about her late diagnosis, parenting in a neurodiverse family, and why understanding is the first step towards connection. KEY POINTS: Jane McFadden was diagnosed with ADHD in adulthood—after years of burnout, high-functioning chaos, and parenting struggles. ADHD can often be masked by achievement, especially in women. Many children and adults use “scaffolding,” or complex routines, to hide difficulties with executive function. Diagnosis isn’t about labels—it’s about understanding and unlocking connection. Neurodiverse families can thrive when support and insight replace shame and confusion. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:“If you don’t want to label your child, they’ll label themselves—and it’ll be far worse than any diagnosis.” RESOURCES: ADHD Mums podcast by Jane McFadden Happy Families Membership – happyfamilies.com.au Help For the ADHD Parent [Article] Parenting ADHD [The Course] Parenting an ADHD Child [Article] ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: If you suspect neurodiversity in yourself or your child, seek a qualified assessment—it can offer clarity and hope. Explore resources and communities like ADHD Mums to connect with others on a similar journey. Approach parenting with empathy—ask your child why something is hard instead of assuming they’re being defiant. Recognise the signs of burnout in yourself and prioritise support. Focus on connection first—diagnosis is a tool to deepen relationships, not define them. Find us on Facebook Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

If you've ever asked your child to do something—only to be met with silence, eye-rolls, or outright refusal—this episode is for you. Justin and Kylie dive into five surprising reasons why kids ignore us and share five powerful strategies to help them want to listen. With equal parts insight and humour, this episode offers real-world parenting advice that makes connection—not control—the goal. KEY POINTS: Kids often don’t listen because they don’t care about the task or see it as relevant to them. Developmentally, children are egocentric and lack adult-level perspective. Parents often forget to get their child’s attention before making a request. Screentime, distractions, and habits of non-compliance can reduce responsiveness. Being fun, patient, and involved can transform how children respond. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:“Be the kind of person your kids want to pay attention to.” RESOURCES: Happy Families Membership – happyfamilies.com.au How to Get Your Kids to Really Listen [PDF download] ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Get your child’s attention before speaking—use touch, eye contact, and a calm tone. Be involved—where possible, do the task together rather than directing from afar. Use gentle reminders and accountability instead of repeating or yelling. Be patient—allow time between request and response before following up. Make it fun—add humour, creativity, and playfulness to your interactions to boost connection. Find us on Facebook Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletterSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Should we be making our children apologise when they do the wrong thing? What does a sincere apology look like? In this episode: Parental Guidance (S1): “Forcing children to apologise is teaching children to lie” Victim mentality People pleasing Ruptured relationships The Parenting Revolution, by Dr Justin Coulson Motivation Continuum - extrinsic, introjected, identified, integrated, intrinsic Is It Wrong to Tell Kids to Apologize? | The Atlantic Theory of Mind Why do children apologise under coercion? Feeling seen, heard, and valued Repairing relationships Why don't kids want to apologise? 4 components of a sincere apology Related links: Should we Force our Children to Say 'Sorry' Carrots & Sticks: How Rewards and Punishments Hurt Our Kids, and What to do Instead [Webinar] Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership NEW weekly kids’ ‘Print & Play’ subscription FELT (Fostering Emotional Learning Together) Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletterSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Is self-control something you're born with—or something you can teach your kids, starting today? Psychologist and bestselling author Ethan Kross takes us into the science of the inner voice, revealing how our thoughts shape our behaviour—and how we can shape our thoughts. From powerful tools that help children talk to themselves like a friend to simple mindset shifts that build long-term resilience, this conversation is packed with practical wisdom for raising emotionally intelligent, self-regulated kids. KEY POINTS: Self-control is a skill that can be taught and strengthened. The inner voice is a powerful tool in navigating emotions and decision-making. Kids benefit from learning how to create psychological distance during challenges. Techniques like mental time travel and third-person self-talk are effective at all ages. Parents have a unique opportunity to guide how children learn to speak to themselves. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:“We’re not born with self-control; we learn it. And the tools we use to manage our mind are like muscles—we can train them.” KEY INSIGHTS FOR PARENTS: Help your child shift perspective by asking, “What would you say to a friend?” Build emotional resilience by teaching kids to recall times they’ve overcome obstacles. Model calm and constructive self-talk in your own moments of stress—kids are watching. Introduce the idea of an “inner coach” who can guide them through tough situations. RESOURCES MENTIONED: Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It by Ethan Kross University of Michigan’s Emotion & Self-Control Lab Techniques such as self-distancing, visualisation, and reflective self-talk ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Be intentional with your own self-talk—your children are learning from you. Use playful, imaginative language to teach kids how to create emotional distance. Encourage children to reflect on past successes to fuel future confidence. Practice third-person self-talk together to turn overwhelming moments into teachable ones. Keep emotional regulation tools simple, visual, and consistent. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Could the way we celebrate kids at school actually be leaving many of them behind? In this episode, Dr. Justin and Kylie Coulson unpack the hidden costs of awards, assemblies, and school trips. From motivation to mental health, they explore how traditional recognition systems can impact children—and what we can do instead to help every child feel seen, supported, and valued. KEY POINTS: Awards ceremonies often benefit the same high achievers, leaving many students feeling invisible or unworthy. External rewards can reduce intrinsic motivation, especially in areas of creativity, effort, and behaviour. Assemblies can either unite a community or create anxiety and disconnection, depending on how they're run. Away days and camps offer valuable opportunities for growth—but need to be inclusive and purposeful. Children thrive when they feel seen, valued, and part of something bigger than themselves. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:“Kids don’t need a trophy to know they matter. They need connection, encouragement, and a belief that they belong.” KEY INSIGHTS FOR PARENTS: Praise effort and process, not just outcomes. Be cautious about over-relying on rewards—consider what motivates your child from within. Talk with your child about how school events make them feel—do they feel recognised and included? Encourage educators to focus on connection and belonging in school-wide activities. RESOURCES MENTIONED: Deci & Ryan’s research on Self-Determination Theory Studies on rewards and motivation from Alfie Kohn and Carol Dweck Justin Coulson’s book 10 Things Every Parent Needs to Know ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Ask your child how they feel during awards assemblies—validate their emotions. Focus your praise on effort, character, and perseverance rather than outcomes. Advocate for inclusive school events that celebrate all students, not just a few. If your child misses out on recognition, remind them of their value through connection and encouragement. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Justin and Kylie dive into startling new data showing the positive effects of mobile phone bans in Australian schools. They explore statistics that reveal significant improvements in student learning, behaviour, and classroom engagement and reflect on the broader implications for parenting and screen time at home. KEY POINTS: The mobile phone ban in schools has led to 87% of students being less distracted 81% reporting improved learning 63% drop in critical incidents involving social media 54% reduction in behavioural issues Government intervention in screen and phone use is proving effective. Removing screens from classrooms and delaying smartphone access at home are strongly recommended. Analogue tools outperform digital ones in fostering better learning outcomes. Data from vaping bans also support the case for limiting access to harmful digital content. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:“Kids don't need smartphones. They need smart parents, and smart parents give their kids dumb phones.” – Dr. Justin Coulson KEY INSIGHTS FOR PARENTS: Delaying your child's access to smartphones helps them focus, learn, and behave better. School phone bans are effective, but more impact can be made at home and in broader digital habits. Parents shouldn't rely on children to self-regulate in an adult digital world—protection and guidance are necessary. Government restrictions, while imperfect, are valuable in safeguarding children. RESOURCES: Unplug Childhood [Join the village!] Kids Need Smart Parents, Not Smart Phones [Article] ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Delay giving children smartphones as long as possible—opt for dumb phones with basic functionality. Set boundaries around screen use at home, especially for social media and unsupervised access. Support analogue learning tools at home and advocate for them in schools. Stay informed about government policies that affect your child’s digital environment. Have open conversations with your child about the purpose and risks of digital devices. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Can self-control be taught? In this episode, Justin and Kylie explore the science of self-regulation and how parents can help their kids—and themselves—build better habits. Drawing on an insightful interview with Professor Ethan Kross, author of Chatter, the conversation highlights strategies for boosting motivation, building emotional resilience, and taking control in those tricky moments where willpower fails. KEY POINTS: Self-control is not an innate trait—it's a skill that can be learned and strengthened. Motivation plays a crucial role in our capacity for self-control. External factors like being hungry, angry, lonely, tired, or stressed (HALTS) reduce our ability to regulate ourselves. Self-distancing, including the “Batman Effect,” can help children and adults manage strong emotions and make better decisions. People who appear to have strong self-control often just design their environments to avoid temptation. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:“People who seem to have the most self-control often set up their environments in such a way that they don’t need to exercise it at all.” KEY INSIGHTS FOR PARENTS: Teaching kids self-control starts with helping them understand triggers and setting up supportive environments. Self-control can be undermined by stress and unmet needs—parents should be compassionate, not critical. The “Batman Effect” (asking “What would Batman do?”) helps kids take a step back from their impulses and act with intention. Modelling healthy responses and acknowledging your own challenges shows kids that emotional regulation is a lifelong practice. RESOURCES MENTIONED: Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It by Ethan Kross HALTS acronym (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired, Stressed) Ethan Kross’s full interview (to be aired Saturday) happyfamilies.com.au ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Teach kids about HALTS—help them recognise when their emotional state is affecting behaviour. Use the “Batman Effect” or similar strategies to encourage self-distancing during challenging moments. Model self-control by setting up environments that reduce temptation (e.g., not keeping junk food at home). Have regular conversations about motivation and how it supports goals and values. Tune in to the full interview with Ethan Kross for deeper insights and practical tools. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Justin and Kylie respond to a heartfelt question from a mum who’s at her wit’s end with her highly creative—but very destructive—three-year-old. From nail polish on couches to crayon art on every surface, they explore what’s developmentally normal, why punishment may backfire, and how parents can redirect energy with connection, supervision, and playful problem-solving. KEY POINTS: Destructive behaviour in young children is often a sign of creativity and a desire to explore. Supervision and engagement are key to reducing mischief. Each child is different; parenting approaches should adapt to each child’s needs and the family’s season of life. Redirection and empathy are more effective than blame and punishment. Quality time and creating opportunities for appropriate creative expression can help children feel seen and understood. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:“Kids don’t lie the way adults do—they tell us what they wish the truth was.” KEY INSIGHTS FOR PARENTS: Your child is not bad. They’re curious, creative, and still learning. Meet big messes with calm, not shame. Use redirection to teach without damaging trust. Invite cooperation by focusing on problem-solving together rather than punishment. Blaming doesn’t teach responsibility—connection does. RESOURCES MENTIONED: I’ll Do Better Tomorrow, I Promise by Maurine Reynolds Adamek “Lessons Learned” Substack by Beck Delahoy—Blame and Shame Doesn’t Solve Anything ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Create safe, designated spaces for creative play—paper, washable markers, etc. Increase supervision during high-risk moments (e.g., when things go quiet!). Spend intentional quality time daily, even in short bursts. Use imaginative redirection—like the “wicked mouse” approach—to encourage responsibility without shame. Clean up with your child, not as punishment, but as a shared problem-solving opportunity. Reflect on whether expectations are realistic for your child’s developmental stage. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Justin and Kylie dive into two powerful reads—Mel Robbins' The Let Them Theory and Sarah Wynn-Williams’ explosive memoir Careless People: A Cautionary Tale of Power, Greed, and Lost Idealism. While Kylie champions the liberating message of letting go of control, Justin offers a scathing but thoughtful critique of Facebook's inner workings, as revealed in Wynn-Williams' book. Together, they unpack how these ideas relate to parenting and the digital world our children are growing up in. KEY POINTS: The Let Them Theory emphasises personal boundaries and not needing to fix or control others. Careless People reveals shocking behind-the-scenes practices at Facebook, particularly how the platform targets emotionally vulnerable teenagers for advertising. The tech industry's influence extends to global politics, youth mental health, and everyday family life. Memoirs can be a powerful vehicle for truth, shedding light on corporate irresponsibility. Parents need to be alert to the digital environments their children inhabit. ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Talk to your children about how social media works—especially how it might exploit their emotions. Consider setting digital boundaries in your home, including times for device-free connection. Read Careless People to better understand the systems shaping your family’s digital life. Practice the “let them” mindset by releasing control over things that don’t require your intervention. Stay informed—knowledge is power when it comes to parenting in a digital world. The Let Them Theory' by Mel Robbins. Careless People: A Cautionary Tale of Power, Greed, and Lost Idealism by Sarah Wynn-Williams. Listen to Honestly With Bari Weiss - Meet Sarah Wynn-Williams, Facebook’s Highest-Ranking Whistleblower Send your comments and questions to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au Find more resources to make your family happier at the Happy Families website.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

[R] Australia's most decorated Olympian, Emma McKeon, shares intimate insights about her journey from young swimmer to Olympic champion, revealing the crucial role her parents played in fostering success without pressure. Her story provides a masterclass in supporting children's sporting endeavors while maintaining joy and balance. Key Points: The importance of enjoyment over achievement in youth sports How parental support without pressure builds self-determination Managing early-morning training and self-motivation Balancing multiple activities during teenage years Transforming competition anxiety into positive energy Quote of the Episode: "They never pressured me either way to swim or not to swim... They just wanted me to enjoy what I was doing and be happy in what I was doing, find something I was passionate about." Key Insights: Success comes from internal motivation, not external pressure The value of maintaining multiple interests and activities How to handle failure and setbacks constructively The importance of supporting children "no matter what" Why enjoyment must precede excellence Personal Stories Shared: Missing the 2012 London Olympics by 0.1 seconds Early morning training experiences Having her father as both parent and coach Balancing swimming with other activities Resources Mentioned: Self-Determination Theory Research on youth sports participation Multi-sport participation benefits Action Steps for Parents: Focus on enjoyment before achievement Allow children to set their own goals Support multiple activities and interests Help reframe anxiety as excitement Maintain unconditional support regardless of performance See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode of the Happy Families podcast, Justin and Kylie Coulson reflect on the challenges of parenting, from managing big emotions to keeping the household running smoothly. They discuss the importance of family meetings, handling difficult conversations with kids, and creative ways to encourage household contributions. KEY POINTS: Navigating difficult emotional conversations with children. The power of apologizing and reconnecting after conflict. Establishing family meetings for better communication and teamwork. Encouraging kids to contribute to the household with fun, creative chore names. The importance of consistency in family meetings and accountability. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:"The hardest thing as a parent is sitting in a place when your child is having big emotions that generally speaking, are pointed directly at you." – Kylie Coulson RESOURCES MENTIONED: Happy Families website ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Practice active listening when your child shares their emotions. If you mishandle a situation, revisit it later and apologize if needed. Introduce family meetings with a simple format: What's working? What's not? What can we improve? Make chores more appealing by adding fun names or gamifying the process. Stay consistent with family discussions and follow-ups to build trust and accountability. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Is having a favourite child real, or is it just perception? In this episode of The Happy Families Podcast, Justin and Kylie Coulson dive into the research on parental favouritism, exploring why some children may seem more favoured than others. They discuss how personality traits, gender, and birth order play a role in parental preference and share practical strategies to ensure all children feel valued and loved. KEY POINTS: The concept of favouritism and how it manifests in families. Research findings on parental preference for daughters over sons. Why conscientious and agreeable children tend to receive more positive attention. The impact of favouritism on self-esteem and sibling relationships. Strategies to ensure children feel equally loved and valued. PERSONAL STORIES SHARED: Kylie’s experience with favouritism growing up and her sisters’ perceptions. Justin reflecting on his own childhood as the eldest of six children. Parenting experiences in the Coulson household, including navigating teenage years. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:"See their hearts. When you understand a child, you naturally connect with them more." KEY INSIGHTS FOR PARENTS: Favouritism is often a result of understanding certain children more than others. Different children require different levels of attention at various times. Creating joyful, meaningful moments with each child fosters connection. Parents should be mindful of their body language and interactions to ensure all children feel valued. RESOURCES MENTIONED: Research study: Parents Favour Daughters: A Meta-Analysis of Gender and Other Predictors of Parental Differential Treatment (Published in Psychological Bulletin). ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Reflect on your relationships with each child—who do you understand most and least? Make a conscious effort to connect with the child you understand the least. Create intentional one-on-one time with each child to build meaningful connections. Focus on understanding rather than just liking your child’s personality. Acknowledge that different seasons of parenting bring different challenges and strengths. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A shocking 90% of Australian baby and toddler foods fail to meet international guidelines, yet manufacturers employ deceptive marketing tactics to make us believe they're healthy choices. In this eye-opening episode, paediatric dietitian Kareena Savage reveals how "organic" labels and Health Star Ratings can mislead parents, with some toddler snacks containing more sugar than white chocolate. Learn practical strategies for decoding food labels, avoiding nutritional traps, and creating healthier, more affordable lunchboxes your kids will actually eat. Quote of the Episode: "We as parents in 2025 have it tougher than any other parent has ever had it in terms of trying to understand what is a healthy food choice for our child or for our family." Key Points: Food manufacturers use deceptive marketing, with 90% of Australian baby/toddler foods failing international guidelines. Many products marketed as healthy (like "97% fruit and yoghurt") contain more sugar than white chocolate. When reading food labels, check the ingredients list first—shorter is better. Avoid products with sugar in the top three ingredients. For packaged foods, aim for less than 20g sugar per 100g. Keep sodium under 350mg per 100g. The Health Star Rating system has significant flaws—companies know how to "game" the system. Packaged foods are typically more expensive and less nutritious than whole foods. Homemade treats are healthier than commercial versions, even with similar ingredients. Setting clear boundaries around packaged foods helps children develop better eating habits. Resources Mentioned: Visit nourishwithkarina.com for free recipes and nutrition information. Nourishing Kids support program Black bean brownie recipe Action Steps for Parents: Examine ingredient lists—choose products with shorter lists and recognisable ingredients. Check sugar content—aim for less than 20g per 100g in cereals and snacks. Monitor sodium levels—keep under 350mg per 100g. Be sceptical of Health Star Ratings, especially on highly processed foods. Limit children to 1-2 packaged items per day in lunchboxes. Buy in bulk to reduce costs of healthier packaged options. Batch-cook healthier versions of treats on weekends (using wholemeal flour and less sugar). Set clear family boundaries around packaged food consumption. Modify recipes by adding nutritious ingredients (extra egg, chia seeds, wholemeal flour). See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Is your child struggling with empathy, social skills, or thinking beyond their own wants? In this episode, Justin and Kylie Coulson tackle a question from a concerned parent about an 8-year-old who seems self-centred, struggles with friendships, and resists considering others' feelings. They break down key strategies to foster empathy, encourage connection, and navigate discipline without frustration. KEY POINTS: Why some children seem more self-focused than others. The role of personality, temperament, and developmental differences. The importance of listening over excessive explaining. Why "I don’t care" is often a defence mechanism. How to move from reactive discipline to problem-solving. The power of calm conversations outside of emotional moments. PERSONAL STORIES SHARED: Justin and Kylie reflect on their own parenting experiences, discussing how their children perceive and react to situations differently despite growing up in the same household. Insights from psychology on why siblings raised in the same family can have vastly different emotional and social responses. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: "High emotions equal low intelligence. When kids (and parents) are emotionally heightened, it's not the time for lessons—it's time for connection." RESOURCES MENTIONED: The Three E’s of Effective Discipline (Explore, Explain, and Empower) The Happy Families website for parenting resources ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Observe and Listen—Instead of immediately correcting, try to understand why your child is acting this way. Create Calm Connection Moments—Have relaxed conversations over a treat to discuss social skills and feelings. Encourage Small Acts of Kindness—Model and praise thoughtful behaviour rather than just pointing out what's wrong. Use Open-Ended Questions—Instead of "Would you like it if someone did that to you?" Try "What do you think happened in that situation?" Be patient—growth in empathy and social awareness takes time. Stay consistent and supportive. It's easy to send us a question! Email podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au or use the super simple voice memo system at the Happy Families website. Find us on Facebook at Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Science confirms what our grandparents instinctively knew—children who engage in risky outdoor play develop better motor skills, higher self-esteem, improved social behaviour, and greater problem-solving abilities. Counterintuitively, keeping kids at low heights doesn't prevent injuries, as most fractures occur close to the ground anyway. When we let children climb high, use sharp tools, play with dangerous elements, and occasionally disappear from adult supervision, we're not being negligent—we're helping them develop crucial life skills that no amount of supervised indoor activities can provide. Quote of the Episode: "When did injuring yourself become such a big deal? I mean, when we were kids, it was so exciting to walk in and see that somebody had a cast on their arm—the superhero in the classroom." - Justin Coulson Key Points: Risky play is different from hazardous activity—the child can assess the risk themselves and there's a clear benefit. Children who engage in risky play show improved risk detection, increased competence, higher self-esteem, and decreased conflict sensitivity. Research shows more developed motor skills, better social behaviour, greater independence, and improved conflict resolution in children with access to unsupervised outdoor play. Today's children spend less time outdoors and in unstructured play than ever before in history. Fracture frequency and severity is not related to the height of playground equipment—54% of arm fractures occur at low heights. Sharp knives are actually safer than blunt knives (they require less force and are less likely to slip). Types of risky play include activities involving heights, speed, dangerous tools, dangerous elements, rough-and-tumble play, and the possibility of getting lost. Play where children can disappear or get lost and risky play environments are positively associated with physical activity and social health. Rough and tumble play doesn't increase aggression and is associated with increased social competence. Risky play supports playtime, social interactions, creativity, and resilience. Resources Mentioned: International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health (2015) meta-analysis on risky outdoor play Happy Families website Action Steps for Parents: Distinguish between hazardous activities (where children can't assess risk) and beneficial risky play. Allow age-appropriate risk-taking, such as climbing heights, using real tools, or playing at speed. Step back and monitor from a distance rather than constantly supervising. Provide opportunities for unstructured outdoor play where children can make their own decisions. Remember that injuries are part of childhood development and rarely as serious as our fears suggest. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.