Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

When your kids shut down or seem totally uninterested - whether it’s a conversation, a hobby, or music lessons - it can feel like you’re wasting your time (and money). But this week, Justin and Kylie share two powerful reminders that patience, play, and connection go further than pressure ever will. From a heartwarming drum lesson breakthrough to a car trip conversation that turned a reluctant teen into a chatterbox, this episode will make you rethink what “progress” really looks like in parenting. KEY POINTS Why letting kids explore without rigid outcomes can create lasting motivation. The surprising benefits of range - letting kids tinker, dabble, and find their spark. How to turn “silent car rides” into meaningful, laughter-filled conversations. Why structured lessons and “by the book” learning don’t always lead to love or creativity. The simple mindset shift that makes family connection feel natural again. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “It’s not about an outcome. It’s about giving your kids the space to explore - because you never know where it will lead.” — Kylie Coulson RESOURCES MENTIONED Relationship Rules by Dr Justin Coulson Range by David Epstein ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Let them play. Focus less on outcomes, more on enjoyment and exploration. Ask better questions. Try open-ended conversation starters on long drives or walks. Be patient. Creativity and connection grow slowly—don’t rush the process. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Every October 31st, kids go wild - costumes, sugar, excitement - but what if that same energy is quietly shaping ADHD diagnoses? In this Doctor’s Desk episode, Justin and Kylie unpack a fascinating new study showing a 14% spike in ADHD diagnoses on Halloween day. They explore what this says about subjectivity in diagnosis, the risks of overlabelling kids, and how our environments - not just our children - might need rethinking. KEY POINTS: A new Harvard study found ADHD diagnoses rise 14% on Halloween compared to surrounding days. ADHD remains a subjective diagnosis — there’s no blood test or scan to confirm it. Why environment and maturity often explain behaviours mistaken for “disorder.” The real risks of misdiagnosis — medication, labelling, and self-perception. Why it’s time to look at what’s happening around kids, not just within them. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: “There isn’t anything wrong with her — she just doesn’t fit the mould of what we consider normal.” RESOURCES MENTIONED: Study: Halloween, ADHD, and Subjectivity in Medical Diagnosis (National Bureau of Economic Research) Searching for Normal by Sami Timimi The Parenting Revolution by Justin Coulson ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Before seeking a diagnosis, consider context — sleep, stress, diet, and school environment. Avoid rushing to label; focus on understanding and supporting your child’s unique needs. Ask questions — about treatment pathways, environment, and alternative perspectives. Create calmer spaces where kids can regulate, play, and thrive. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What happens when our kids spend nine hours a day on screens? Dr Justin Coulson sits down with world-leading researcher Professor Jean Twenge (author of Ten Rules for Raising Kids in a High Tech World) to unpack the hidden costs of our always-online culture — and how parents can reclaim calm, connection and control. From brain changes to “go touch grass” moments, Jean shares the science behind tech overload and practical rules that actually work. KEY POINTS: Why social media under 16 is a terrible idea — and why government regulation matters The shocking truth about teens’ 9-hour daily screen time How smartphones reshape childhood: less sleep, less play, less joy The “basic phone” revolution — why dumb phones might just save your child’s brain How to set firm rules (without becoming the enemy) Real-world freedom: why outdoor play is safer than scrolling The single biggest rule every parent should enforce tonight QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: “In ten years we’ll look back at giving kids smartphones at age eleven and think — what were we thinking?” — Professor Jean Twenge RESOURCES MENTIONED: Ten Rules for Raising Kids in a High Tech World — Professor Jean Twenge Heads Up Alliance (Australia) Beginner Phones for Tweens & Teens [Free PDF from Rebecca Sparrow] Wait Until 8th Movement The Light Phone Unplugged Parenthood ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: No phones in bedrooms. Ever. Delay social media until at least 16 — ideally later. Swap smartphones for basic phones to keep kids connected, not consumed. Model healthy tech habits — your kids are watching. Encourage real-world independence — let them walk, play, and explore offline. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When your child has to come first—whether it’s up the stairs or at bedtime—it can drive the whole family mad. But there’s more behind that competitiveness than you might think. In this episode, Justin and Kylie unpack what’s really going on when kids can’t handle losing, and how to guide them toward healthy confidence instead of constant comparison. KEY POINTS: Why competition and young kids don’t mix The developmental stages that make “winning” feel like a need, not a want How competence and self-worth get tangled together Simple strategies to help kids lose gracefully—and win kindly Why home should be a safe space to “win” without pressure QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: “For me to feel good, I shouldn’t have to make you feel bad. That’s the problem with competition for young kids.” RESOURCES MENTIONED: What Your Child Needs From You by Dr Justin Coulson 10 Things Every Parent Needs to Know by Dr Justin Coulson ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Relax—it’s normal for young kids to want to win. Play low-stakes games to help them practise losing. Model losing (and winning) with grace.Teach them to find joy in helping others shine. Let life be the teacher—your job is to provide a soft landing. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A world-first law is about to change how Aussie kids use social media — forever.From December 10, children 16 and under will be banned from holding social accounts. But what does that really mean for families? In this special extended episode, Dr Justin Coulson speaks with Julie Inman Grant, Australia’s eSafety Commissioner, about the new age-limit legislation — who it covers, how it will work, what fines apply, and what parents must do now to prepare. This is the definitive guide for every parent trying to navigate the online world — with calm, clarity, and confidence. KEY POINTS What the new under-16 social media ban actually includes (and who’s exempt) How eSafety will enforce compliance — and why parents won’t be penalised The five-step “layered safety” approach every platform must follow What’s being done to restrict online porn and explicit content The truth about “nudifying” apps and how schools can respond Simple ways to help your child transition off social media safely QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “Parents shouldn’t have to fight billion-dollar companies to keep their kids safe online — the responsibility belongs with the platforms.” — Julie Inman Grant RESOURCES MENTIONED eSafety Commissioner resources & webinars Deep-fake & image-based-abuse school toolkit Beyond Blue, Headspace, Reach Out, Kids Helpline ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Talk with your child about the upcoming change — and why it matters. Help them download photos or memories they want to keep before Dec 10. Set up approved messaging groups to stay connected safely. Bookmark trusted influencers or sites they can follow directly. Visit esafety.gov.au for family checklists and guides. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Even parenting experts don’t always nail it. In this heartfelt “I’ll Do Better Tomorrow” episode, Justin and Kylie open up about those moments when good intentions go sideways — and what it really takes to repair connection with your kids. From tearful teenage meltdowns to awkward dinner-table confessions, this is an honest, hope-filled reminder that your love matters more than your mistakes. KEY POINTS: Why even the best parents get it wrong sometimes — and why that’s okay How to apologise with authenticity (without making excuses) The power of “creating a culture” of open, honest conversation Why repair matters more than perfection How strong family relationships let kids talk about anything Teaching teens accountability and empathy through your own example QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: “My love for you is bigger than all the walkouts in the world.” — Dr Justin Coulson RESOURCES MENTIONED: The Parenting Revolution by Dr Justin Coulson ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: When conflict happens, pause — don’t react. Say sorry sincerely when you’ve messed up. Focus on rebuilding connection, not being right. Create safe spaces for tricky or blush-worthy conversations. Keep reminding your kids: your love is unconditional. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A new study is making headlines — not because kids are on screens too much, but because many can’t stop. Dr Justin Coulson unpacks fresh research linking addictive screen use (not screen time itself) with anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts in teens. Learn what “addiction” really means, why it’s not an official diagnosis, and how to protect your child without constant conflict. KEY POINTS The latest data from the Adolescent Brain Cognitive Development Study shows addictive patterns of screen use — not hours online — are tied to poorer mental health. “Addictive” use means kids feel distress when not online, use screens to regulate emotions, or can’t stop even when it causes problems. There’s no official “screen addiction” diagnosis, but the behaviour patterns are real — and concerning. Justin shares practical strategies using the Three E’s of Effective Discipline to reduce conflict and foster healthy habits. Real-life example: how the Coulson family handled screen boundaries with collaboration, not control. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “Time on a device isn’t the problem. It’s when kids can’t stop that their mental health starts to suffer.” RESOURCES MENTIONED Adolescent Brain Cognitive Development (ABCD) Study, JAMA Psychiatry, June 2024 Screen "addiction" and mental Health - Technosapiens Tools: Freedom App, Forest App, Brick, Unplug Childhood Framework: The Three E’s of Effective Discipline (Explore, Explain, Empower) ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Have a calm conversation about how and why your child uses screens. Model mindful use — show your own limits and honesty about the struggle. Create structure, not punishment — consistent times, agreed limits. Watch for red flags like irritability, secrecy, or big emotions when screens are removed. Offer alternatives — list 10+ enjoyable non-screen activities your child can choose from. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It starts as a joke — “Mummy needs wine!” — but for many parents, that glass at the end of the day becomes more than just a meme. In this powerful and deeply honest conversation, Dr Justin Coulson talks with author and “Sober Awkward” podcast host Victoria Vanstone about her journey from party girl to sober mum — and how she broke free from the culture that told her alcohol was the answer. This episode will challenge how you see drinking, motherhood, and what self-care really means. KEY POINTS: How alcohol became part of Victoria’s identity — and why it took motherhood to question it The emotional and social pressures behind “Mummy Wine Time” culture Why drinking in front of kids sends powerful hidden messages The quiet shame of “normal” drinking habits — and what to do if you’re starting to question yours The rise of “sober curious” parenting and what it looks like in real life QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:“It’s not really about alcohol. It’s about who you were before it — and who comes after it.” — Victoria Vanstone RESOURCES MENTIONED: A Thousand Wasted Sundays by Victoria Vanstone Mumming by Victoria Vanstone Podcast: Sober Awkward ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Reflect on the messages your kids receive when they see you drinking or joking about it. If you’re curious about cutting back, start with a “sober curious” mindset — it’s about questioning, not quitting. Talk to your partner or a trusted friend about how alcohol fits (or doesn’t fit) in your family life. Explore support options — books, podcasts, therapy, or sober communities — if alcohol feels like it’s taking more than it gives. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ever wish you could talk to your kids about the big stuff — without it feeling awkward or heavy? In this episode, Justin and Kylie show you how to make tricky conversations a normal (and even fun) part of family life. From friendship dramas to body safety, honesty, and screens, discover how to help your kids open up, think deeply, and learn to navigate life with confidence. KEY POINTS: How to start having “tricky talks” — even with 5- and 7-year-olds Why weekly conversations build trust and emotional safety Conversation starters that aren’t awkward or forced Turning everyday moments into teachable moments The ultimate question every parent should ask their child QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: “Let your kids know there’s no topic that’s off limits. When they trust you with the little things, they’ll come to you with the big ones.” RESOURCES MENTIONED: Relationship Rules and What Your Child Needs From You by Dr Justin Coulson Have a tricky parenting question? Ask us here. ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Schedule a weekly 15-minute “tricky talk” with your kids. Start light — use silly “would you rather” questions to build comfort. Gradually introduce deeper topics like kindness, honesty, or friendship. Ask your child what they think before you give advice. Try a “parent performance appraisal” — ask your kids how loved and understood they feel. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Your child smashes a TV. Or floods the bathroom. Or writes off the car. What now? In this episode, Justin and Kylie unpack one of parenting’s trickiest questions: should our kids pay for the damage they cause? You’ll hear real family stories, a breakdown of natural vs logical consequences, and a powerful mindset shift that helps kids take ownership without shame — and keeps relationships intact. KEY POINTS Why “natural consequences” aren’t the same as punishment How to teach accountability without blame, guilt, or control The “OAR vs BED” principle: helping kids own mistakes and grow from them When (and how) to talk about reparations or paying for damages How to balance compassion, responsibility, and fairness QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “Discipline isn’t about punishment. It’s about problem solving — together.” RESOURCES MENTIONED Happy Families Membership 10 Things Every Parent Needs to Know by Dr Justin Coulson Entitled [Upcoming Live Webinar] ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS When something breaks, pause before reacting. Ask: “What does my child need right now?” — not “What consequence fits this?” Guide your child toward ownership, accountability, and reparation. Keep the relationship more important than the thing. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What happens when you pour condensed milk instead of coconut milk into your family curry? Justin’s kitchen disaster could’ve ended in chaos—but instead, it became a story of laughter, grace, and doing better tomorrow. In this heartwarming (and hilarious) episode, Justin and Kylie share their biggest parenting fails—from theme park terrors to dinner gone wrong—and reveal the secret ingredient that makes family life truly happy. KEY POINTS Why laughter is essential for a happy home How to turn small failures into powerful family memories The psychology of fear (and what a rollercoaster taught Kylie about courage) Justin’s sweet-but-sour curry disaster: a lesson in humility and humour The real reason “doing better tomorrow” matters more than getting it right today QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “If you want to have a happy family, you’ve got to laugh. Laughter makes family life happy.” — Dr Justin Coulson RESOURCES MENTIONED Happy Families Podcast: Why Exam Results Don’t Define Your Child — or Their Future Article: The Exam Pressure Trap: How to Help Your Teen Without Adding to Their Stress Justin Coulson’s Book: 10 Things Every Parent Needs to Know ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Find the funny — When family life feels messy, look for a reason to laugh. Model grace — Mistakes are moments to connect, not criticise. Try again tomorrow — The best families aren’t perfect; they just keep showing up. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

If you ever feel like there’s never enough time — this episode is your deep breath. Justin and Kylie unpack the idea of “time abundance” — how to slow life down when the to-do list never ends. From the psychology of feeling rushed to practical ways to reclaim calm, this is your permission slip to stop racing and start living with more space, energy, and joy. KEY POINTS Most of us undervalue our time — we tick off easy tasks instead of what truly matters. Protecting your time doesn’t mean saying no to family; it means saying yes intentionally. Feeling time-rich comes from being mindful in the moment, not just managing the clock. Giving your time to others actually makes you feel like you have more time. Buy yourself back time when you can — small choices (like grocery delivery or help with chores) reduce pressure and create calm. Scrolling isn’t rest. True breaks come from presence, connection, and purpose. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “You don’t build a relationship watching the clock.” — Dr Justin Coulson RESOURCES MENTIONED Jackie Nesi’s Techno Sapiens Substack: Article on Time Abundance Happy Families Membership — for more ways to live lighter and connect deeper ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Block time out for what matters most — and guard it fiercely. Be mindful in your moments of rest; let your brain actually stop. Give time to others — kindness expands your sense of time. Buy back time where possible; trade dollars for breathing space. Ditch the doom scroll. Choose real rest over digital distraction. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Teens are forming emotional bonds — not just online, but with AI companions. In this episode, Dr Justin Coulson talks with Brown University psychologist Dr Jacqueline Nesi, author of Techno Sapiens, about the fast-growing world of AI “friendships” and what they mean for kids’ mental health. They also unpack Jackie’s latest research revealing how often teens check their phones — and how it’s shaping their moods. It’s a must-listen for parents navigating the blurred lines between connection, distraction, and dependence in the digital age. KEY POINTS 72% of teens have used an AI companion; over half use one regularly. AI chatbots are designed to keep kids engaged — often prioritising screen time over wellbeing. For some vulnerable kids, AI chats can feel like friendship or therapy — but they aren’t replacements for real connection. Australia’s new social-media age-limit laws may help, but implementation and design flaws remain. Teens check their phones an average of 112 times a day — once every 10 minutes! Frequent phone checking is linked with greater emotional ups and downs. Teens who are less mindful tend to reach for their phones more after bad days — using screens as emotional regulation tools. What matters most: how kids use technology and who they are, not just how much. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “The effects of smartphones on mood and wellbeing are complicated — it’s not that phones are simply bad, it’s about who’s using them and how.” RESOURCES MENTIONED Techno Sapiens – Dr Jacqueline Nesi’s Substack Tech Without Stress – Resources for parents Happy Families – More parenting resources ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Ask your kids how they use AI or chatbots — listen before you lecture. Check your family’s phone “pickups” using Screen Time or Digital Wellbeing. Practise mindfulness together — simple breathing, no-tech walks, or screen-free meals. Talk about emotional regulation — help kids notice when they’re using tech to cope. Model balance — show that your phone doesn’t rule you either. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It’s happening in classrooms everywhere — groups of 10- and 11-year-old girls suddenly identifying as lesbian or non-binary. Parents are confused, scared to say the wrong thing, and desperate to understand what’s driving it. In this episode, Justin and Kylie unpack the growing trend of early identity labels, how sexualised content and peer influence shape confusion, and what parents can do to respond calmly, wisely, and with compassion. This conversation isn’t about labels — it’s about protecting childhood and keeping connection strong through one of the hardest parenting conversations of our time. KEY POINTS: Why clusters of identity declarations in tweens are often driven by social contagion, not self-discovery. How pornography, anime, and online content are confusing kids about sexuality. The crucial difference between a physiological response and actual orientation. Why automatic affirmation can harm — and what supportive curiosity looks like. Setting firm, loving screen boundaries to protect emotional and sexual development. Helping kids feel safe in uncertainty, without locking in an identity. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: “Our kids don’t need labels at 11. They need parents who can hold space for curiosity without rushing to define them.” RESOURCES MENTIONED: Happy Families Podcast – Submit a Question Miss-Connection by Dr Justin Coulson Australian Psychological Society guidelines on gender and identity ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Limit exposure – No unsupervised screens or smart devices for under-13s. Stay curious, not panicked – Ask open questions like “What made you start thinking that?” Teach body literacy – Help kids understand physiological responses vs orientation. Normalise uncertainty – Remind them it’s okay not to know who they are yet. Stay connected – Keep talking, keep listening, keep calm. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Exam season is here — and with it, a tidal wave of pressure, late nights, and panic. But what if we’ve got it all wrong? In this short, punchy episode, Justin and Kylie Coulson share six powerful reminders to help your teen (and you!) survive exam stress with perspective, calm, and even joy. From why your ATAR doesn’t define your worth to why sleep, exercise, and connection matter more than cramming — this is the reality check every parent needs right now. KEY POINTS: You are not your ATAR: Exams don’t measure intelligence, potential, or worth. Brains need breaks: Good sleep, nutrition, and exercise fuel real learning. Remembering requires forgetting: Relearning builds stronger memory. Connection over cramming: Fun, laughter, and time with loved ones reduce anxiety. Take a gap year: Exploration and “range” lead to deeper purpose and long-term success. Perspective is everything: In two years, none of this will matter as much as it feels now. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:“You are not your ATAR. In two years, no one’s going to care — and you’ll be just fine.” — Dr Justin Coulson RESOURCES MENTIONED: Range by David Epstein Join the waitlist to hear all the news on Justin's new book "Boys" The Art of Manliness A HF conversation with Amy Dyer on gap years & the real path to success after school ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Keep routines steady — protect your teen’s sleep, meals, and downtime. Encourage short study bursts, spaced repetition, and daily movement. Talk about why effort matters more than marks. Model calm and perspective — your energy sets the tone. Start conversations about gap years, growth, and finding direction beyond exams. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ever had your child melt down because it’s time to leave somewhere fun? In this heartwarming episode, Justin and Kylie share the tearful goodbyes, the bike crashes, and the surprising wisdom that came from an 11-year-old who just didn’t want the holiday to end. It’s a story about empathy, growing up, and remembering that sometimes… we all just want to stay a little longer. KEY POINTS: Why revisiting familiar places can be deeply meaningful for families How empathy—not logic—helps calm big emotions in kids The hidden benefits of letting grandparents “spoil” their grandkids Why parents (even parenting experts!) still have emotional moments of their own How shared stories can defuse tension and strengthen connection QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: “Empathy and perspective are powerful. They stop you from getting mad at the kids and help you join them in their suffering.” RESOURCES MENTIONED: 10 Things Every Parent Needs to Know — Dr Justin Coulson The Happy Families Newsletter – sign up via form on the website ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: When your child resists leaving, start with empathy before explanation. Share a relatable story from your own life—it helps kids feel seen. Let grandparents be the “soft place to land”—then gently re-establish home routines. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Boys are falling behind in reading — and the consequences are staggering. In this episode, we share an excerpt from Your Kid’s Next Read podcast with Allison Tait, Megan Daley, Matt Stanton and Dr Justin Coulson unpacking the crisis in boys’ literacy. From screen addiction to motivation, we explore why reading has lost its spark for boys — and how parents can bring stories back to life at home. You can listen to the full conversation here: Boys and Reading. KEY POINTS: Reading rates are plummeting across the board — but boys are struggling most. The literacy gap between boys and girls now equals a full academic year by Year 9. Why screens are hijacking boys’ brains — and how to reset attention spans. The 3 ingredients that make kids want to read: autonomy, competence, and connection. Why dads matter most — boys become readers when they see men reading. The power of reading with your kids, not just telling them to read. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: “For boys to love reading, they’ve got to see men who love reading.” — Dr Justin Coulson RESOURCES MENTIONED: Your Kid’s Next Read podcast with Allison Tait & Megan Daley Raising Readers by Megan Daley Punished by Rewards by Alfie Kohn ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Model reading — let your kids catch you with a book. Choose connection over correction — read with them, not at them. Follow their interests — comics, sports magazines, or game guides still count. Build confidence — help your child feel capable with age-appropriate reads. Make it social — talk about stories, characters, and favourite moments. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Pasta. Chips. Nuggets. Repeat. If your neurodivergent child lives on a diet of white and yellow foods, you’re not alone. In this episode, Dr Justin Coulson sits down with paediatric dietitian Karina Savage to unpack why fussy eating is so common in autistic and ADHD kids — and what you can actually do to help them expand their diet without battles, bribes or tears. You’ll learn how to lower pressure, build trust around food, and make progress (even if it’s just one new bite at a time). KEY POINTS Start where your child’s at. Understand the sensory, anxiety, or familiarity issues behind food refusal. Safe foods first. Keep trusted foods on the plate, and gently introduce “test foods” nearby (but not touching). No pressure, no panic. Play with food, don’t police it — mealtimes should feel safe, not stressful. Tiny changes matter. Shift from white to wholemeal, add fibre, and celebrate every small win. Watch additives. Processed colours and preservatives can worsen attention and behaviour in neurodivergent kids. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “Food play in a non-pressured environment builds familiarity and trust — and that’s how progress happens.” RESOURCES MENTIONED Nourish with Karina — Karina Savage’s website and membership for parentsHappy Families — for more tools to help your family thrive ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS List your child’s “safe foods.” Use this as your base for every meal. Add one “test food” on the side — no pressure to try it. Create calm mealtimes. Avoid forcing or bribing; instead, offer food play and choice. Model variety. Let your child see you enjoying colourful, balanced foods. Aim for progress, not perfection. A little more colour on the plate is a big win. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Few things break a parent’s heart like leaving your toddler at childcare while they cry, scream, and beg you not to go. Is this the same as “cry it out”? Is it harming their development—or just part of growing up? In this episode, Justin and Kylie unpack the science of separation anxiety and share practical, compassionate strategies to ease drop-off stress—for your child and for you. KEY POINTS Why toddler separation anxiety is different from cry-it-out sleep training The role of support networks, emotional development, and cognition in how kids cope Two critical signs that reveal if your child is actually okay When to worry: What ongoing distress might really mean Practical strategies: routines, comfort items, quick goodbyes, and positive pick-up rituals QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “Separation hurts—but if your child settles quickly, connects with others, and greets you with joy at the end of the day, you can breathe easier. They’re okay.” RESOURCES MENTIONED Little People, Big Feelings [The Summit] The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn – a beautiful story for easing separation anxiety ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Stick to routine – predictability builds security. Use comfort anchors – a hand-kiss, fabric scrap, or pocket token. Keep drop-offs short – no lingering, quick and confident goodbye. Plan pick-up rituals – a special “after care” routine your child can look forward to. Check in with carers – ask how quickly your child settles and how they engage during the day. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From December 10, kids under 16 will no longer be allowed to hold social media accounts in Australia. It’s a world-first move that has parents divided, teens anxious, and platforms on edge. In this episode, we break down what the ban reallymeans for your family, how it will actually be enforced, and why it might be the biggest parenting shift of the decade. KEY POINTS: What the new minimum age legislation actually does (and doesn’t do) How platforms like TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, and Snapchat will change for under-16s Why the responsibility sits with tech giants—not parents or kids The staggering fines for platforms that fail to comply Why strong parental vigilance is still essential, even with new safeguards How families can prepare for the “cold turkey” social media cut-off QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:“Legislation can move the needle, but it won’t change everything. That’s up to us as parents.” RESOURCES MENTIONED: eSafety Commissioner’s FAQs on the new legislation The Screen Smart Series [2 x webinars] ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Start conversations now—help your kids understand what’s coming. Plan alternatives for staying connected with friends offline. Revisit your family’s screen rules—this is the perfect reset moment. Stay vigilant: legislation is a tool, not a replacement for parenting. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When you’re knee-deep in tantrums, sticky fingers, midnight wake-ups and endless “whys?” it feels like survival mode. But what if these exhausting, messy, maddening moments are the very ones you’ll ache for later? In this episode, Justin and Kylie reflect on the chaos they once wished away - and now find themselves missing. A heartfelt reminder to savour the small stuff, even when it drives you crazy. KEY POINTS The everyday frustrations parents secretly miss when kids grow up. Why sleepless nights, sticky floors, and endless questions carry hidden beauty. The bittersweet shift from chaos to quiet as kids get older. How perspective transforms what once felt like drudgery into cherished memories. The importance of soaking up the messy, noisy, imperfect moments while you have them. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE "I wish I loved it more when I was in it, but I just didn’t have the perspective." RESOURCES MENTIONED HappyFamilies.com.au – for more parenting resources. You can read all of the comments on that Facebook post here. ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Pause during the hard moments and remind yourself: one day, you’ll miss this. Reframe the daily frustrations—see them as signs of your child’s growth, curiosity, and connection. Build a “village” of support—whether through playdates, community, or online groups—so you don’t face the chaos alone. Capture the ordinary moments (photos, journals, voice notes) so you can look back with gratitude. Find us on Facebook Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletterSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Are you exhausted from trying to keep everyone happy? Mel Robbins’ Let Them Theory has gone viral for a reason—it’s simple, powerful, and life-changing. In this episode, Kylie shares her biggest takeaways from the book and why learning to say “let them” (and the equally powerful “let me”) could be the reset button parents desperately need. Discover how this mindset can protect your peace, strengthen your relationships, and stop the endless cycle of people-pleasing—while still showing up as the parent your kids need. KEY POINTS The Let Them mindset: stop wasting energy on what you can’t control. The crucial second step: Let Me—reclaim your power and choose your response. Why detaching from other people’s moods and opinions is freeing, not selfish. Stress hack: pause, breathe, and reset before reacting. Setting boundaries without guilt—why trying to please everyone leaves no one happy. How parents can balance “letting them” with still guiding and safeguarding kids. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE“Other people hold no real power over you unless you give it to them.” – Mel Robbins RESOURCES MENTIONED "The Let Them Theory" by Mel Robbins (New York Times bestseller) Mel Robbins Podcast Happy Families website ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS The next time someone criticises or reacts negatively, pause and say to yourself: let them. Add the second step: let me—choose a calm, intentional response. Release the urge to manage other people’s emotions and focus on your own values and actions. Set boundaries without apology—someone will always be disappointed, and that’s okay. Model this mindset for your kids so they learn resilience, responsibility, and freedom from people-pleasing. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What if you could spark your child’s motivation without nagging or bribing? In this episode of the Happy Families Podcast, Dr Justin and Kylie reveal the four “happy brain” chemicals—dopamine, serotonin, endorphins, and oxytocin—and simple daily habits that naturally boost them. Discover how to create an environment where kids feel driven to learn, calm under pressure, and connected at home. These small shifts can transform study sessions, chores, and family time—no sneaky tricks required. KEY POINTS Dopamine – The Anticipation Engine: Break big tasks into small wins to fuel progress and keep motivation high. Serotonin – The Calm Conductor: Nature time, sunlight, and slow breathing help kids reset and regulate emotions. Endorphins – The Natural Painkiller: Movement, laughter, and a dash of safe risk-taking release powerful mood boosters. Oxytocin – The Connection Catalyst: Hugs, shared meals, and positive friendships build trust and belonging. Practical take-aways: chunk chores, go barefoot on the grass, encourage physical play, and prioritise warm, consistent connection. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “Creating the right environment isn’t manipulation—it’s giving our kids’ brains the natural fuel they need to thrive.” RESOURCES MENTIONED Brain Chemistry Hacks for Better Learning [Article] #1195 - Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About ASD, ADHD and Executive Function With Andrew Guastella [Podcast] ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Chunk It Down: Turn daunting tasks into bite-sized steps for instant dopamine rewards. Get Outside Daily: Ten minutes of green space or blue sky calms the nervous system. Move and Laugh: Family dance party, backyard games, or silly jokes for a natural endorphin hit. Prioritise Connection: Schedule unhurried meals or bedtime stories to release oxytocin and strengthen bonds. Find us on Facebook Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletterSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Your teen is bright, capable—and completely content to coast. Your partner’s in the kitchen… but lost behind EarPods. In this candid Q&A, Dr Justin Coulson shares calm, practical steps to spark a teen’s inner drive without pressure, and to bring a distracted spouse back into the family circle. Expect practical scripts, mindset shifts, and gentle strategies that keep relationships strong without force or guilt. KEY POINTS Force Creates Resistance: Pushing teens to “aim higher” backfires. Upside/Downside Chat: Explore pros and cons of choices together to inspire self-motivation. Model What Matters: Your habits and purpose speak louder than lectures. Chores Are Connection: Kitchen time is about relationship, not just clean counters. Collaborative Talk: Choose a neutral moment, use “I” statements, focus on positives. Set Clear Boundaries: Compromise on EarPod use or agree to device-free family tasks. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “The task is the vehicle to connection—it’s not the purpose of the ride.” RESOURCES Ask your question here: happyfamilies.com.au/podcast #754 Why Doing Their Best Might Not Be the Best [Podcast] The Biggest Relationship Mistakes We All Make [Article] Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Invite a relaxed “milkshake chat” with your teen to explore upside and downside of their choices. Model curiosity and drive in your own life—kids notice consistency more than pep talks. Pick a calm moment to tell your partner, “I feel disconnected when we wear EarPods during chores—I miss our casual chats.” Propose a short nightly “all-in” kitchen clean-up with devices away to nurture effortless conversation. Revisit boundaries if disengagement persists, and consider professional support if communication stalls. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ever feel like a broken record—“How many times do I have to tell you?” This episode is your lifeline out of the endless reminder loop. Justin and Kylie share nine proven strategies to cut through the noise, build connection, and get kids to follow through—without the yelling, nagging, or power struggles. Key Points Why repeating yourself trains kids to tune you out The 3-step “attention first” method: name, pause, eye contact Speak their language: short, clear, kind, one thing at a time Confirm understanding with questions (“What needs to happen before we leave?”) Read non-verbal cues and adjust your tone Validate feelings without caving to demands Practice patience—give them space to act Create a culture of respectful, safe communication Strengthen connection so cooperation comes naturally When all else fails, jump in and do it together Quote of the Episode “Repeating yourself doesn’t work. Connection does.” – Justin Coulson Resources What To Do When Kids Won’t Listen How to Get Your Kids to Really Listen [Ebook + AudioBook] Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Action Steps for Parents Choose one strategy from today’s episode and try it at your next “please put your shoes on” moment. Notice your own tone and pacing—slow down and connect before speaking. Reflect tonight: which approach helped your child respond best? Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ever brushed off your child’s whining, anxiety, or fussy eating as “just a phase”? What if those small annoyances are quietly shaping big challenges for your family’s wellbeing? In this episode, Justin and Kylie unpack the Region Beta Paradox — the psychology behind why we ignore little problems until they explode — and reveal how parents can catch the signs early, stay regulated, and protect their family’s mental health. KEY POINTS What the Region Beta Paradox is (and why it’s a parenting game-changer).How “little niggles” like whining or sibling squabbles can erode family harmony.The danger of waiting until problems hit crisis point.Why self-regulation and self-care aren’t optional for parents.Practical cues to know when a child’s behaviour needs professional attention. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “Deal with the niggles before they become the drama. Your future family harmony depends on it.” RESOURCES Why small annoyances can harm us more than big disruptions | PSYCHE How to Respond When Triggered by Your Child [Article] Self-Care Strategies That Really Work [Article] Overwhelm: Self-care Strategies for When Everything is Too Much [Webinar] Why Our Kids Need Us to Set Limits [Article] Unplugged Parenthood: Reducing Screen Time to Strengthen Family Connections [Article] Developmental Milestones: What to Expect From Birth to Adulthood [Article] ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Notice the “drip-drip” annoyances — don’t dismiss them. Reframe whining or misbehaviour as unmet needs, not defiance. Model self-regulation: pause, breathe, respond calmly. Build self-care into your week — connection > screens. If issues persist, track frequency, intensity, and duration — and seek help early. Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Have you ever looked at your child’s friends and thought, “This is not going to end well”? You’re not alone. But new research shows that stepping in and steering kids away from certain friendships can actually make things worse — leaving your child less accepted by peers, more anxious, and even more likely to act out. In this episode, Dr. Justin and Kylie unpack the surprising dangers of interfering in your child’s friendships, why your good intentions can backfire, and how to guide your kids without damaging trust. KEY POINTS Why parental interference often increases risky behaviour and peer rejection. The “forbidden fruit” effect — why the more you disapprove, the closer kids cling. How criticism of a friend can sound like criticism of your child. The power of trust: letting kids figure it out leads to stronger, healthier friendships. What to do instead — shift from policing friendships to teaching what makes a good friend. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE "When you say, ‘I don’t like who you are when you’re with that friend,’ what your child really hears is, ‘I don’t like who you are.’" RESOURCES Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry study on parental interference in friendships. Chris Niemiec (University of Rochester) research on “forbidden fruit” friendships. How do I Keep my Daughter Away from her Boyfriend? [HF Article] Supporting Autistic Children Course [NDIS approved] #1103 I'll Do Better Tomorrow: The Good Things Matter [HF Podcast episode on helping kids identify qualities of a good friend] ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Pause before interfering — unless there’s bullying or real harm, stay out. Have general conversations about what makes a good friend, rather than targeting specific friendships. Trust your child’s ability to grow — most “bad” friendships naturally fade or transform with time. Model positive relationships so your child sees what healthy friendship looks like. Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au Become a Happy Families Member todaySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What happens when a mum posts a video of tidying her teenager’s messy bedroom? Internet outrage. Some called it enabling. Others said it was love. In this episode, Dr Justin and Kylie cut through the noise and answer the real question: should parents be tidying their teens’ rooms - or teaching responsibility another way? You’ll discover what really matters when it comes to chores, gratitude, and raising kids who contribute at home without constant conflict. KEY POINTS: Why social media turned a simple act of love into a war of opinions The difference between helping your teen and enabling them How chores build gratitude, contribution, and teamwork Why kids don’t always see what parents do—and why that’s normal Practical ways to reset chores without the constant nagging The surprising truth: sometimes it’s okay to just tidy up QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:“The most important principle isn’t who cleans the room—it’s that everyone contributes.” RESOURCES: Mom tidies teen's room each morning, prompting a fascinating debate | Upworthy I am Not the Maid – How to get 5 Star Service from the Kids at Home | HF Article My 13-Year-Old Doesn’t Pick up a Single Thing| HF Article Developmental Milestones [Introduction] | HF Article ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Call a short family meeting to reset chores and responsibilities. Use the explore–explain–empower method to get kids involved in deciding tasks. Focus on gratitude and contribution—not perfection. And if you tidy their room sometimes? That’s okay. Just don’t post it on social media. Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ever come home from work to a house that looks like a bomb went off—while your partner relaxes? Today Justin answers a listener who’s furious at a husband who won’t pull his weight. Is it laziness, “feigned incompetence,” or something deeper? Justin shares the tough-love steps every parent needs to hear to reclaim balance without a shouting match. Plus: a second listener asks for help with a 12-year-old facing anxiety, insomnia, and no friends—Justin’s practical roadmap will give you hope tonight. KEY POINTS Why “feigned incompetence” is a relationship killer—and how to call it out with compassion. Three steps to stop enabling: drop the martyr act, have the hard conversation, and set clear expectations. Family meetings as a secret weapon for shared responsibility. Supporting a tween with severe anxiety and sleep struggles: routines, medical checks, and delight-driven activities. How better sleep restores calm for the whole household. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “You deserve a partner, not a project.” – Dr Justin Coulson RESOURCES Couples meeting [Podcast Episode] The Importance of Sleep: How I Work Crossover [Podcast Episode] #452 Weaponised Incompetence [Podcast Episode] Parenting On The Same Page [Webinar] We Need to Talk About Parent Wellbeing [Webinar] A Grown Up’s Guide to Worry Stacking (and how to help kids kick it!) [Download] Riding the Waves: Tools for Taming Anxiety [Course for kids & teens] #310 Bedtime is the Right Time [Podcast Episode] #990 Mental Health Challenges with Anne Hollonds [Podcast Episode] ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Name the Load – Write down every daily task you’re carrying; share it with your partner without blame. Set a Couple’s Meeting – Weekly 15-minute check-ins to agree on chores, schedules, and support. Prioritise Sleep – Create predictable bedtime routines for kids and adults. Find Delight – Help your child discover activities that light them up to ease anxiety and improve sleep. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Are we protecting our kids too much? Today we tackle the controversial topic of risky play — climbing trees, speeding down hills, roughhousing, even handling tools. The things that make parents anxious might actually be the very things kids need most. Discover why risk is essential for resilience, confidence, and courage — and how to give your child the freedom to play without pushing them too far. KEY POINTS Why “risky play” isn’t dangerous play — it’s just play the way we grew up. The Canadian Paediatric Society’s 9 types of risky play (and how to try them at home). Why broken arms aren’t the worst thing, but bubble-wrapping kids might be. The surprising link between risky play and lower anxiety in children. Five simple ways to say yes to risk while keeping things developmentally appropriate. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE“You want your kids to be as safe as necessary — not as safe as possible.” RESOURCES & RELEVANT LINKS Jonathan Haidt, After Babel Substack Healthy childhood development through outdoor risky play: Navigating the balance with injury prevention | Canadian Paediatric Society Roald Dahl quote on kids and risks Playing It Safe May Be The Biggest Risk Of All [Article] Resilience: Developing strength, calm and kindness in our kids [Webinar] #50 Risks and Rolling Down Hills [Happy Families Podcast] ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Say yes more often when your child wants to try something new. Get kids outdoors — nature is the best playground. Encourage rough-and-tumble play and sports. Ditch screens when possible; real play builds real skills. Step back — give your kids space to take age-appropriate risks. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Think teens can’t have fun without booze? Think again. In this episode of I’ll Do Better Tomorrow, Justin and Kylie share the behind-the-scenes of hosting an 18th birthday that was loud, laughter-filled - and completely alcohol-free. From a $9.99 Bunnings “doorbell hack” every parent of a gamer needs, to setting clear boundaries that still let kids feel free, you’ll hear how the Coulson's created connection and unforgettable memories without the hangover. KEY POINTS The $9.99 Bunnings wireless doorbell that stops the endless “DINNER!” yelling at teens in headphones. How to host a high-energy, alcohol-free party teens actually rave about. Teaching kids they don’t need substances to have fun or belong. Using “I’ll Do Better Tomorrow” reflections to guide weekly family growth. A fresh take on schooling: why one daughter chose a vocational “industry school” and how alternative pathways (and gap years) can set kids up for success. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE“Life is long. If the standard path isn’t working, stop forcing your child to fit something that doesn’t fit.” – Dr Justin Coulson RESOURCES MENTIONED Register interest for Justin’s upcoming Boys book here Study proves the importance of dads teaching sex education to their sons | Will & Woody A $10 Doorbell Stopped Me Yelling At My Teen | Lise & Sarah Study links a gap year to better university grades | The Conversation Gap Years, ATAR Myths & the Real Path to Success After School [with Amy Dyer] - Happy Families Podcast ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Model Substance-Free Fun: Show your teen that great parties don’t need alcohol. Set Clear, Kind Boundaries: Explain expectations up front—then let your kids rise to meet them. Explore Alternate School Paths: Investigate vocational schools, traineeships, or gap years if the traditional system isn’t serving your child. Create Simple Connection Cues: Try the wireless doorbell or another gentle way to call your teen without yelling. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

There's a lot of stuff out there about kids being bored, and not all of it is correct. Today, a deep dive into kids being bored, and whether it is actually good or bad. Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Is your child’s screen time spiralling—and every conversation about it ends in a fight? Professor Wayne Warburton, leading psychologist and researcher, reveals how apps and games are deliberately engineered to hook young brains. He explains the hidden neuroscience of addiction, what excessive screen use does to a child’s emotional regulation and attention, and how parents can reclaim calm without all-out war. If you’ve ever wondered why your tween melts down when you say “time’s up,” this episode is a must-listen. KEY POINTS Why modern apps use gambling-style tactics and AI to keep kids scrolling. How heavy screen use weakens the prefrontal cortex—the part of the brain that manages focus, planning, and emotional control. Simple, science-backed steps to reset family screen habits and return kids to the “driver’s seat.” Practical advice for conversations that don’t turn into shouting matches. Why social connection doesn’t have to mean social media. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE“It’s not your child’s fault—or yours. These products are built to be addictive. The goal is to put your child back in the driver’s seat, not the screen.” — Dr Wayne Warburton RESOURCES MENTIONED Dr Wayne Warburton’s books Growing Up Fast and Furious and The Importance of Media Literacy HappyFamilies.com.au for family screen-plan templates and parenting resources ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Choose the right moment: Discuss screens only when everyone is calm and offline. Externalise the problem: Frame it as “us versus the tech designers,” not parent versus child. Co-create a plan: Involve kids in setting screen limits and consequences; write it down. Build healthy replacements: Help kids identify offline ways to cope with boredom, anxiety, or stress. Model balance: Show your own healthy screen habits—your example speaks louder than rules. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Do you really trust your teen to manage their phone—and the algorithm—alone? In this episode, Justin and Kylie Coulson tackle a Gold Coast mum’s burning question: should parents rely on filtering apps or on trust? Justin shares his eye-opening experiment pretending to be a teenage boy on Instagram (and what the algorithm served up), while Kylie explains why this isn’t just a “trust” issue—it’s a maturity issue. Together they reveal how to set limits that actually protect kids, build accountability, and still keep the relationship strong. Key Points Why filters aren’t foolproof—and why blind trust is even riskier The hidden danger of “friendly” algorithms that quickly escalate to violent or explicit content Justin’s experiment that turned his feed dark in just two weeks The 3 E’s of Effective Discipline: Explore, Explain, Empower How to create family tech agreements that work—and stick Quote of the Episode “We say we don’t like the restraints, but we actually need them. Just like a roller-coaster harness, limits keep our kids safe when life turns upside down.” – Justin Coulson Resources Mentioned Managing Screens at Home [Webinar] Included in the Happy Families membership. Action Steps for Parents Audit together: Sit with your teen and explore what their algorithms are serving them. Set limits, not locks: Use filters as one layer, but focus on ongoing conversations. Use the 3 E’s: Explore their perspective, Explain your concerns, Empower them to co-create safe screen habits. Find your village: Connect with like-minded parents to make consistent boundaries easier. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Your sweet preschooler just turned into a pint-sized whirlwind—kicking, screaming, and even hitting.Before you panic or punish, listen in. Dr Justin and Kylie Coulson unpack why three-year-olds lash out, why it’s actually developmentally normal, and the calm, practical steps that help them (and you) find peace. Key Points Why hitting at age three is common—and not a sign you’re raising a violent teen. The real drivers: big emotions, low impulse control, limited language. Three core responses: stay regulated, set clear limits, redirect with movement or creative outlets. After the storm: empathic conversations and rehearsal for “next time.” Prevention tips: check the HALTS (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired, Stressed) and keep screen time low. Quote of the Episode “Regulating emotions is harder than learning to walk or tie shoelaces. Your job is to stay the adult while your child learns.” – Dr Justin Coulson Resources Mentioned Little People, Big Feelings [Webinar] – practical tools for parents of toddlers and preschoolers. Little People, Big Feelings [The Summit] Action Steps for Parents Stay calm—model the regulation you want your child to learn. State the boundary—“We have gentle hands. Hitting hurts.” Redirect energy—offer drawing, movement, or grounding games. Debrief later—when calm, problem-solve and rehearse next time. Check the basics—food, sleep, connection, and screen habits. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What will your kids remember most about you? It’s probably not what you think… Ever felt Father’s Day pressure - the gifts, the expectations, the hope it all comes together? In this episode, Justin & Kylie open up about low expectations, the best Father’s Day prank ever, and the moments that mattered most. From frisbee at the beach to chaotic family games, to the one phrase Justin’s kids say defined their childhood, this conversation is raw, funny, and surprisingly moving. KEY POINTS: Why one Aussie school pushed back against iPads in primary years Sabrina Carpenter’s new album NOT for children The tie prank that left every dad at church matching Why simple, spontaneous family time beats curated “perfect” events “Push Dad off the Bed” - the family game still loved by teens and young adults The phrase Justin’s kids treasure most: People matter. Things don’t. RESOURCES MENTIONED: Happy Families Website Send us a voice memo: podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au KPop Demon Hunters on Netflix ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Keep celebrations simple - the memories matter more than the details. Find playful traditions (even silly ones) that bring everyone together. When things go wrong, remind your kids: people matter, things don’t. Give your children more of the one gift they’ll always want - your time. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When cookbook author and influencer Sarah’s holiday plans with her 6-year-old were suddenly stamped “unauthorised,” it lit up headlines — and sparked a question every parent asks: Is a week off school really that big a deal? In this episode, Justin and Kylie dive into the tug-of-war between school rules and family priorities. Do term-time holidays harm learning, or can real-life experiences sometimes matter more? You’ll hear the research, the rules (state by state), and the reality for families just trying to make it work. KEY POINTS The viral story that sparked the debate: Sarah’s denied leave mid-flight. Why rules vary wildly depending on your postcode (NSW vs. QLD vs. VIC). What the research really says about missing school — even just a few days. The cost factor: why many families can’t afford school-holiday travel. When family connection, culture, and life experience outweigh the timetable. Practical tips for working with schools to find a middle ground. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE "The real question isn’t about holidays — it’s whether we trust parents to make wise, nuanced decisions for their kids." – Justin Coulson RESOURCES MENTIONED Happy Families Website Connect with us on Instagram & Facebook ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Check your state’s rules before booking — policies differ widely. Communicate early and respectfully with your child’s school. Choose timing wisely (avoid early weeks, assessment blocks, or transition times). Weigh family priorities — cost, connection, cultural experiences — alongside school routines. Remember the big picture: One week doesn’t define your child’s education. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

School refusal and absence are at crisis levels. More than 40% of students are missing at least 10% of school days — and it’s only getting worse. Behind every statistic is a child struggling with anxiety, chronic illness, or the weight of a system that doesn’t fit. In this powerful conversation, Dr Justin Coulson speaks with Megan Gilmour, CEO of Missing School and 2025 ACT Australian of the Year. Megan’s own son battled a life-threatening illness that kept him from school for years, and her advocacy has since transformed the way we think about education, connection, and support for kids who can’t physically be in the classroom. If you’re worried about your child’s school avoidance — whether from illness, anxiety, or overwhelm — this episode will give you both hope and practical direction. KEY POINTS: Why school absence has skyrocketed since COVID. The hidden costs of missing school: academics, friendships, identity, and mental health. How school avoidance affects the whole family. What digital connection and flexible solutions can look like for struggling students. Why the current school model isn’t fit for today’s kids — and what needs to change. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: “Wherever school absence starts — illness, anxiety, or overwhelm — the long-term impacts on a child’s wellbeing and future are profound. Connection is everything.” – Megan Gilmour RESOURCES MENTIONED: Missing School School Refusal [HF Article] #533 Emotion Based School Avoidance [HF Podcast Episode] ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Notice the early signs of school avoidance — and take them seriously. Keep the focus on connection, not just attendance. Explore flexible options, including digital classroom access, where possible. Seek support: schools can and must accommodate differences. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What do you do when your child’s confidence starts to look like bragging? Today’s tricky parenting question comes from Joanna, whose 12-year-old daughter is bright, kind, and wonderfully self-assured—but sometimes her enthusiasm feels a little too much. In this episode, Justin and Kylie unpack how to nurture confidence while gently guiding kids toward humility and social awareness. You’ll hear practical ways to help your child celebrate others, avoid “showing off,” and learn through natural experiences—without squashing their spirit. KEY POINTS: Why confidence in tweens is precious (and why most kids lose it) The difference between being “interesting” vs. being “interested” Teaching kids to be “people builders” instead of show-offs The power of teachable moments over lectures How unconditional love helps kids learn from their own mistakes QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: “Confidence is precious. We don’t want to dampen it—but we can guide kids to use it in ways that lift others up.” RESOURCES MENTIONED: Submit your tricky question: happyfamilies.com.au/podcasts ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Celebrate your child’s confidence—don’t squash it. Encourage them to notice and cheer for others’ successes. Use quiet, reflective conversations after social moments as teaching opportunities. Frame discussions around being a good friend and including others. Be the “soft place to land” when friendships hit bumps. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Childcare scandals. Social media bans. Kids spending nine hours a day glued to screens. As Child Protection Week shines a spotlight on children’s safety, parents are asking: How do I really protect my kids — both online and in real life? Dr Justin Coulson speaks with Dr Katrina Lines, CEO of Act for Kids, about shocking new research and simple ways families can protect kids online and in real life. KEY POINTS: Why removing men from childcare is not the solution — and what really needs to change. Surprising new research: kids actually prefer time with family over screens. Why kids resist screen limits but thrive when they finally log off. How to “meet in the middle” by joining kids in their online world. Preparing your family for the upcoming social media age ban. Simple daily strategies to create real-life connection, even in busy households. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: “This is the important stuff — not the cooking, not the laundry — but listening and being present with our kids.” — Dr Katrina Lines RESOURCES MENTIONED: Act for Kids: Let’s Connect IRL Happy Families Resources ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Create small daily “connection moments” — in the car, over dinner, or while cooking. Join your child occasionally in their online world to build trust and safety. Open conversations now about the upcoming social media age ban — listen, don’t dismiss. Plan one weekly family activity that everyone can look forward to. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From Father’s Day feels to Taylor Swift’s big news, Roblox lawsuits, and the surprising lessons hidden in K-Pop Demon Hunters—this Friday episode is packed. Plus, in I’ll Do Better Tomorrow, we get raw about surrender, parenting guilt, and why kids really do spell love T-I-M-E. KEY POINTS: Father’s Day joy (and the best gift dads actually want) Taylor Swift’s engagement & what it’s sparking worldwide Roblox under fire: lawsuits, safety concerns & why parents should care K-Pop Demon Hunters craze—what kids love & what families can learn “I’ll Do Better Tomorrow”: surrendering control, parenting while overworked, and finding peace in presence RESOURCES: Free Father's Day Download: 'Me & My Dad' Activity Book ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Celebrate Father’s Day with connection, not things—walks, hugs, shared meals. Stay alert to Roblox news; check your child’s settings and talk about online safety. If your kids are into K-Pop Demon Hunters, watch it with them—ask what they love and listen. Reflect: where can you let go of control and lean into connection this week? See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From the Doctor's Desk today we unpack three studies relevant to parents and families. First, an intervention that could decrease the likelihood of developing a peanut allergy by 71% (N.B. we are not sharing medical advice!). The second study - another intervention involving a 2-week screen-free media reduction for participants, with fantastic results! And the third, a study looking at differences between neurotypical and neurodivergent responses to touch, and some helpful tips for parents of neurodivergent children when it comes to understanding and navigating these responses. In this episode: Peanut allergies The danger of becoming risk-adverse Screen Media Use and Mental Health of Children and Adolescents: A Secondary Analysis of a Randomized Clinical Trial | Media and Youth | JAMA Network Open A happier child in 2 weeks? Emotional dysregulation Parental responsibility with screens Follow-up to Adolescence after Early Peanut Introduction for Allergy Prevention | NEJM Evidence Why touch matters Sensory issues, autism Differences in neurodivergent vs neurotypical response to touch Consent Autonomic and hedonic response to affective touch in autism spectrum disorder - Capiotto - 2024 - Autism Research - Wiley Online Library Relevant Links: Tech giants are ANTI-kids Unplug Childhood - join the village today #1016 – From The Doctor’s Desk: Touch Good, Anger Bad Find us on Facebook Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletterSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Exams, ATARs, scaling, university preferences—no wonder Year 12 feels overwhelming. But what if success doesn’t come down to one number? In this episode, Dr Justin Coulson is joined by careers counsellor Amy Dyer to unpack the myths around scaling, ATAR pressure, gap years, trades, and vocational pathways. If your teen feels lost—or if you’re a parent caught in the stress—this conversation will help you breathe easier and see the bigger picture. KEY POINTS: Scaling and ATARs: what really matters (and what doesn’t). Achievement, capability, enjoyment - what is success? Burnout in young people after school Why a gap year can be the best choice for mental health and clarity. The hidden value of vocational studies and trade careers. How to help kids define success beyond exam scores. Why parents should focus on fit, not prestige, when guiding school and career choices. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:“You’re not supposed to know. You just try. Just be productive. Just do something.” — Dr Justin Coulson RESOURCES MENTIONED: Connect with Amy Dyer More parenting support: happyfamilies.com.au Check out our "Failed at School, Successful at Life" podcast series [episodes #875-879] ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Start conversations about learning styles and interests - not just grades. Normalise multiple pathways: university, TAFE, trades, or gap years. Reduce pressure by reminding your teen that life doesn’t hinge on a single number. Create safe spaces at home for career and study discussions. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

“Everyone else has one!” If you’ve ever heard this plea from your tween about getting a smartphone, you’re not alone. In today’s Q&A episode, Justin and Kylie unpack one dad’s dilemma: a 12-year-old desperate for a phone, parents holding out until Year 8, and the daily battles in between. You’ll hear why one big conversation won’t work, how to keep your child engaged without caving, and three practical strategies to hold the line without losing connection. KEY POINTS Why no single conversation will “solve” the phone debate The 3 E’s of effective discipline (Explore, Explain, Empower) How to use outside voices (content creators, school assignments) to make the case Why it helps to talk with other parents — your child isn’t always “the only one” The ongoing reality: even once they get a phone, the battles don’t stop QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “You don’t just get compliance when kids understand your decision — you get buy-in.” RESOURCES MENTIONED The Parenting Revolution by Dr Justin Coulson Content creators: Jonathan Haidt, Official Herd, Dr Brad Marshall (“The Unplugged Psychologist”), Freya India [Study] Blocking mobile internet on smartphones improves sustained attention, mental health, and subjective well-being ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Keep the conversations ongoing — not one-and-done. Use external voices and resources to reinforce your message. Encourage your child to research and present arguments for and against screens. Connect with other parents to reality-check the “everyone else has one” claim. Focus on understanding and buy-in, not just rules. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Why can’t kids just calm down? Here’s the truth: they’re not supposed to. Expecting children to manage their emotions alone is like expecting them to drive a car before they’ve learned to walk. In this episode, Justin and Kylie bust the biggest parenting myth about big feelings — and share 3 powerful, science-backed strategies you can use in the heat of the moment to help your child ride the emotional waves. KEY POINTS Kids’ brains are on “L-plates” when it comes to emotion regulation — it’s a developmental process. Big feelings are normal, not a sign of “bad behaviour.” Three strategies parents can use: Distraction – helps reset the nervous system. Co-regulation – lending your calm to your child. Pause problem-solving – wait until emotions settle before teaching or fixing. Parents often feel judged when meltdowns happen in public — but compassion (for ourselves and our kids) is the game-changer. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “No one can think clearly in a fire drill — and that’s exactly what trying to reason with a child mid-meltdown is like.” RESOURCES MENTIONED Happy Families resources for parenting strategies & support Little People, Big Feelings Summit See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When a child is upset or angry, it’s easy to think their outburst is about the immediate problem. The real challenge for parents is identifying the deeper emotions driving these reactions. Kylie shares a conversation with her daughter that started as a fight over Roblox but ended with heartfelt tears over a completely different issue. By taking the time to talk with our kids, we can help them uncover the true reasons behind their strong feelings. In this episode: Play dates & Roblox 14 reasons why.... Homeschooling Need for connection Hindenburg Research: Roblox Roblox - a tool for sexual predators The 3 Es of Effective Discipline: Explore, Explain, and Empower Related Links: Keeping kids safe on Roblox Why Your Kids Need a Tribe Supporting Autistic Children Course with Dr Justin Coulson & Dr Joey Lawrence Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Every school talks about teaching mental health, but is it actually helping kids? Or could some programs be doing more harm than good? In this episode, Justin unpacks the latest research on school-based mental health lessons — what works, what doesn’t, and why good intentions aren’t always enough. If you’ve ever wondered whether your child is really benefiting from these classes, this is the conversation you need to hear. KEY POINTS Why mental health lessons don’t always translate into healthier kids The risk of programs that label or pathologise normal emotions What research really shows about long-term impact How parents and teachers can support mental wellbeing in practical, everyday ways QUOTE OF THE EPISODE "We can’t just teach kids about mental health in theory — we have to live it with them in practice." RESOURCES MENTIONED Happy Families Website https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2025/may/20/mental-health-lessons-school-dont-work-mindfulness ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Ask your child what they really think about mental health classes at school. Focus on daily connection — listening, empathy, and open conversations. Model healthy coping strategies at home rather than relying only on school programs. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Boys today are struggling — with school, with purpose, with identity. At the same time, parents are being told that masculinity is toxic — or irrelevant. Are we accidentally raising a generation of young men who feel lost before they’ve even begun? And how do we raise boys who are strong, kind, and confident without making them feel like they’re not enough? In this episode, Justin and Kylie unpack one of the most provocative ideas in parenting boys: surplus value. Drawing on research from Richard Reeves, Scott Galloway, and David Gilmore, they explore why contribution and purpose matter so much for boys’ identity, how to frame it in a healthy way, and why ignoring it leaves our sons vulnerable to destructive alternatives. KEY POINTS Why boys often tie identity to what they contribute rather than just who they are. The difference between unconditional worth at home and purpose in the world. How “surplus value” is not about pressure, but about channeling natural drives into positive contribution. Why society has always “made men” through responsibility and service — and why our boys still need this today. How to talk about contribution without undermining your son’s self-worth. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “Being useful helps boys feel valuable — not because they’re not enough, but because they’re capable of great things.” RESOURCES MENTIONED Of Boys and Men by Richard Reeves Manhood in the Making by David Gilmore Sign up for updates on Justin’s upcoming book Boys → https://happyfamilies.com.au/boys-book-waitlist ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Reassure your son daily: “You matter because you are you.” Create opportunities for him to contribute at home in age-appropriate ways. Talk about purpose and contribution as part of becoming a man — not as pressure, but as an invitation. Watch for signs of directionlessness in the teen years and help channel energy into positive pathways. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Is it ever safe to let your 11- or 12-year-old walk to the park, ride their bike, or visit a friend without you? For many parents, just the thought makes the stomach clench. But here’s the twist: the riskiest thing might be never letting kids take risks at all. In this episode, Justin and Kylie Coulson unpack the independence dilemma that defines modern parenting. You’ll hear why today is the safest time in history for children (despite our fears), how to balance risk and safety, and the practical steps that build confidence — in both kids and parents. KEY POINTS: The difference between danger and risk — and why it matters. Why 24/7 news and social media fuel parental anxiety. How staged independence builds resilience and confidence. The power of community connections in keeping kids safe. Teaching situational awareness instead of “stranger danger.” RESOURCES: More parenting resources at happyfamilies.com.au The Case For Risky Play in an Age of Overprotection [Article] #1198 The Worst Mother Who Got it Right [Podcast Episode]See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A viral trend called “FAFO parenting” is exploding on TikTok and even making headlines in the Wall Street Journal. Advocates say it’s the antidote to “soft” parenting — let kids fuss around and find out the hard way. But is this tough-love comeback really preparing kids for life or setting them up for harm? In this episode, Justin and Kylie unpack the hype, the dangers, and the research-backed alternative every parent needs to hear. In this episode: What FAFO (“Fuss Around and Find Out”) parenting actually looks like — and why it’s trending The three big claims FAFO parents make Why FAFO backfires The vital difference between natural consequences and manufactured hardships How “need-supportive parenting” builds resilience without breaking trust QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “Discipline isn’t about hurting kids to prove a point. It’s about problem-solving so they can discover the lesson.” RESOURCES MENTIONED Wall Street Journal article on FAFO parenting (subscription required) Alfie Kohn, Punished by Rewards More parenting resources: happyfamilies.com.au ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Resist the temptation to outsource learning to punishment. When mistakes happen, guide your child through problem-solving instead of powerplays. Protect the parent–child relationship — resilience grows best where trust is strong. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

One-on-one time transforms parent-child relationships, but finding that time can seem impossible. Discover the revolutionary monthly date system that's helping parents create deeper connections with each child—and why being truly present matters more than what you actually do together. Key Points: Monthly one-on-one dates based on birth date Importance of intentional planning vs spontaneous moments Value of side-by-side conversations Impact of being fully present vs autopilot parenting How structured time leads to deeper conversations Quote of the Episode: "The definition of love is bearing witness to one another's lives." Key Insights: Advance planning makes experiences more meaningful Side-by-side activities encourage natural conversation Removing distractions deepens connection Multiple possible futures reduce anxiety about paths Intentional time creates space for vulnerable conversations Resources Mentioned: Laura King's research on "best possible future self" Monthly birthday date system concept Broaden perspectives on career/life paths Calendar blocking for intentional connection Action Steps for Parents: Schedule Monthly Dates: Mark each child's birth date on calendar Plan activities in advance Make them non-negotiable appointments Customise for each child's interests Create Quality Experiences: Remove distractions (phones, etc.) Choose side-by-side activities Allow natural conversation flow Make it special but not elaborate Be Fully Present: Practice active listening Avoid problem-solving mode Focus on connection over correction Create space for deeper sharing See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.