Creating a Family: Talk about Infertility, Adoption & Foster Care

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Did you know that the current reigning Miss Kentucky is a foster alum? We spoke with Ariana Rodriguez about her life leading up to the pageant circuit, what motivates her, and how her foundation, The Lucky Ones, is changing foster care experiences for foster kids in Kentucky.In this episode, we talk about:You made history as the first Miss Kentucky to have been in foster care. Can you start from the beginning and give us the story that led to this title?What was it like living with your grandparents? What were the positive changes? What was hardest about this time of your childhood? How did that time in kinship care help shape who you are today?Were you able to stay in touch with your siblings?What gaps or “pain points” for kids in foster care or kinship care did you experience in those years?How did these lived experiences begin to transform into a passion or mission for advocacy? Was there a pivotal moment when you said, “This is my platform”?What personal strengths emerged from your past that you leaned on (resilience, empathy, leadership, etc.)?How do your childhood and care-system experiences continue to inform your daily life, mindset, or choices?Are there challenges or triggers that still surface for you because of your past experiences? How do you navigate them?What are your relationships with your siblings like now? Tell us more about The Lucky OnesDo you have a specific story you can share that illustrates the impact of your work?Are you gaining new connections and collaborations to help further the mission of your platform?What's next for you, personally (as Miss Kentucky, as an advocate, as a leader)?What's next for The Lucky Ones? Are there new programs to launch, etc?What advice do you have for young people currently in the foster or kinship-care system who may feel uncertain about their future?For foster or relative caregivers?If you could speak directly to the decision-makers (legislators, social services, educators) about one thing to make a meaningful difference for foster/kinship care kids, what would that be?Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: I recently listened to a podcast featuring an adoptee, a birth mother, and an adoptive parent, which was great. The adoptee talked about when it hit her that she was adopted and feeling like her birth mother threw her away. My sons are adopted through the foster care system. One is technically still a foster child. My oldest was removed from his birth mother immediately after being born and placed with us. My second son spent about a year with his parents in a very neglectful situation, and drugs were a factor in both situations. I'm wondering how to respectfully have that conversation with my sons when the time comes. Note, please, that we are a two-dad household, so there's no hiding the adoption from them.Resources:Talking about Adoption at Different AgesHow to Make and Use an Adoption LifebookTalking with Young Children About Adoption and Birth ParentsBooks for Kids Adopted from Foster Care9 Things Adoptive Parents Must Do Before Age 13Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are you familiar with pathological demand avoidance? Do you need helpful strategies to raise a child with the challenging behaviors that characterize PDA? Listen in to this conversation with Dr. Cynthia Martin, a clinical psychologist, the former Senior Director of the Autism Center at the Child Mind Institute, and founder of CM Psychology in Manhattan, NY.In this episode, we discuss:What is Pathological Demand Avoidance?What makes PDA different from typical defiance or resistance?Is PDA considered an official diagnosis, or is it more of a way to describe a cluster of behaviors that we're seeing in some kids?What do we know about the underlying causes?How does PDA relate to other conditions like autism or ADHD? What are the overlaps with trauma, prenatal substance exposure??What are the types of behaviors parents or caregivers might see?How can a caregiver tell the difference between a child who can't comply and one who won't comply?Where do parents start when considering if their child has a PDA profile?What observations or examples should parents share to help a clinician understand their child's challenges?What kinds of strategies are effective for parenting a child with PDA traits?How can parents reframe their approach so that daily demands — like getting dressed, brushing teeth, or doing homework — don't turn into constant battles?What types of therapies or interventions tend to be most helpful? What do you say to caregivers who are feeling worn down and ineffective? Where do they start?How can a parent or caregiver set their child up for success even if they do have this PDA profile?What words of hope or encouragement would you offer to parents and caregivers just starting to investigate?Resources:Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) in Kids - Child Mind InstituteDemand Avoidance: Why Kids Refuse to Follow Directions - Psychology TodaySymptom Tests for Children: Is Your Child Showing Signs of Pathological Demand Avoidance? - ADDitude: ADHD Science & StrategiesUnstuck & On Target - Evidence-Based Curricula and Resources for Professionals and Families to Support Executive Functions.Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: How to talk to your child about their conception story when embryo donation/embryo adoption is involved in forming your family?Resources:Embryo Adoption (Resource Page)Suggested Books for Children Conceived Through Embryo DonationDisclosing Donor Conception to Our Kids (podcast)Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Talking about the difficult parts of our child's story, like abuse or prenatal substance exposure, can be overwhelming. Kelly Weidner, the co-founder and Executive Director of Haven Adoptions & Family Services in Ambler, PA. She has 28 years of experience in foster care, residential care, and adoption, which will help us navigate these challenging conversations with our kids.In this episode, we discuss:What kinds of issues do we mean when we say “difficult parts” of a child's story? What are some of the everyday challenging conversations that adoptive parents must tackle?Why is it necessary to introduce these potentially painful, complex issues to our kids?Why are parents reluctant to talk about these issues?What steps should adoptive parents take when choosing to start these conversations? Where do they start?What is a Lifebook, and how can parents use them to introduce and build on the story as their child grows?What should be included?How does a Lifebook differ between the types of adoption?What if your child wants to bring their Lifebook to school or show it to people outside the family?What language can you use with young children to lay the groundwork for later, with more details filled in as they grow?How would a parent start the conversation about being conceived during a rape or abusive relationship, across several ages or stages, to build understanding?As another example, should we tell our kids about abuse or neglect that happened to them if they don't remember it? How?Should you tell a child that her birth mother's use of drugs or alcohol during pregnancy might be the cause of their learning disabilities? How do you help your child understand how much of his story he should share with others outside the family?What if you don't believe the birth mother's story of what happened? What if you don't know the details of what happened, just that something “big” did happen?How can adoptive parents help their children understand that they are more than the difficult parts of their history and that they are not doomed to repeat their birth parents' mistakes?What are some practical tips for supporting our kids after we've had to share hard-to-hear information?Resources:Suggested Books for Adoptive FamiliesUsing Lifebooks to Explain Complex Issues in Adoption to KidsBuilding the Framework for Adopted & Foster Children to Process the Hard Parts of Their StoriesSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Having the right documentation, signed, dated, and completed, is crucial to maximizing the claim and avoiding delays or audits. But before we jump into the actual documents, let's start with the big changes to this year's adoption tax credit, because these are important details for families to know this year.Resources:Adoption Tax Credit Resource PageFinding a Tax Specialist to File Your Adoption Tax Credit ClaimAdoption Tax Credit (IRS)5 Things to Know About the Adoption Credit (IRS)Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Let us know about your adoption journeyDid you finalize an adoption in 2025 or within the last several years? Are you eligible to claim the Adoption Tax Credit? Listen to this conversation about the 2025 Adoption Tax Credit. Our guests are Becky Wilmoth, an Enrolled Agent and Adoption Tax Credit Specialist with Bill's Tax Service, and Josh Kroll, the Adoption Subsidy Resource Center coordinator at Families Rising.In this episode, we discuss:What is the Adoption Tax Credit for adoption being claimed on 2025 federal taxes?What is different about this year's Adoption Tax Credit? How would you claim the Adoption Tax Credit if you get a tax refund every year?What types of adoptions are included or excluded in the Adoption Tax Credit? Are kinship adoptions covered? Are kinship guardianship arrangements/expenses covered? What if the relative child was never involved with the foster care system?Can you claim the Adoption Tax Credit for each adoption you complete, even if you completed them in the same year? What is a Qualified Adoption Expense for purposes of the Adoption Tax Credit 2025?When can you claim the Adoption Tax Credit for:Domestic Private/Infant AdoptionInternational AdoptionRe-adoption in the US for International AdoptionFoster Care AdoptionKinship AdoptionFor purposes of filing the Adoption Tax Credit, what qualifies as a Special Needs Adoption? How does the Adoption Tax Credit differ for adoptions from foster care?What does the IRS accept as proof of “special needs” in foster adoptions?What is a $0 subsidy agreement?Can you reclaim your expenses for an adoption that did not result in a placement (that is, a failed adoption)? How?What income level (Modified Adjusted Gross Income) is excluded from claiming the Adoption Tax Credit in 2025?How long can the credit be carried over?What if you didn't claim the Adoption Tax Credit when eligible? Will the Adoption Tax Credit offset self-employment tax?How does the Secure Act impact us if we are claiming the Adoption Tax Credit for 2025 taxes? What should you do if the child's Social Security Number is unavailable when you file?How does the Adoption Tax Credit work in conjunction with employee adoption benefits? If you adopt, can you still claim the Child Tax Credit?Do you need to send any documentation for the Adoption Tax Credit to the IRS when you file your taxes? What type of documentation should you keep in your records? For how long?How to advocate for refundability? https://adoptiontaxcredit.orgSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: An aspect of adopting that we didn't hear about was how your mental health is challenged throughout the process. It's a roller coaster of emotions, and this isn't discussed as often as organic issues such as drug or alcohol use.Resources:Creating a Family Online Support GroupAdoption Process & Important ConsiderationsSelf-Care for Parents and CaregiversSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are you considering adoption this year but concerned about how to swing the cost? Join us for a practical conversation about managing the expenses of adoption with Ryan Hanlon, PhD, former president of the National Council for Adoption, an adoption advocacy organization dedicated to research, education, and policy in the service of all members of the adoption community.In this episode, we discuss:How much can hopeful adoptive parents expect to pay for adoption? Domestic infant adoption? Adopting from foster care?International adoption?What do these expenses cover? Most hopeful adoptive families do not have access to large lump sums of $25,000 and upward. So, what are the different options they can pursue to help them afford an adoption?Adoption SubsidiesAdoption Grants/LoansAdoption Tax CreditWhat other methods are available to families to afford adoption? And can you explain the pros and cons of each so families can get a well-rounded view of what to consider?Increase savings / Decrease spendingIncrease income via a second job, selling things (things you own that you don't want/need/use; things you can create or offer as services)Employee benefits programsCrowd-sourcing and fundraising, asking for money from family and friends (can be particularly controversial in some circles; take care in sharing the child's story, etc.) If a family chooses to fundraise, can you offer a few tips that might help them protect the child's story and proceed ethically?Also related to fundraising, what types of fundraisers do you see as most effective? (offering a service, event, or experience vs. donations only, etc.)How far in advance do hopeful parents start some of these efforts to afford adoption?Can you explain the Adoption Subsidy in more detail? How do hopeful parents determine if they qualify?Where do they go to learn about financial resources to help them afford adoption?Resources:  The Adoption Tax CreditFoster Care Adoption Subsidies: What is Reasonable and How to NegotiateNational Council for Adoption Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: How do you deal with the emotions of not being able to adopt or foster because your husband doesn't share the desire?Resources:A Reluctant Spouse: When Only One Partner Wants to AdoptI Want to Adopt. My Partner Does Not.Creating a Family Online Support GroupSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are you considering adoption to create your family this year? We've got answers to all (or most) of your questions. Join our discussion with Molly Berger, MSW, who has been with the Adoption Center of Illinois for 12 years as an adoption social worker. She counts it an honor to work with adoptive families and expectant parents.In this episode, we discuss:Part 1: Domestic Infant Private Adoption in the USWhat is the process?What are the reasons that pregnant moms are placing their children for adoption?Explain the matching process. How do expectant parents find and choose adoptive parents?What is The Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children (ICPC)?What is Open adoption? Why do expectant parents need to educate themselves about open adoption?What special needs are common in domestic infant adoptions?How long does it take? What factors influence this time?How much does it cost? What factors influence this cost?How do failed matches impact the cost of adoption (that is, when an expectant mom decides to parent rather than go through with an adoption plan)?What are the differences in adopting via an adoption agency or an adoption attorney?What is the first step prospective adoptive parents should take if they are interested in adopting a baby?Part 2: Adoptions From Foster Care in the USWhat is the process?How do you adopt your foster child (one who has already been placed in your home)?How do you go about adopting a waiting child, or one who is not currently placed with your family?What are the reasons children come into foster care in the US?What ages and races of children are most commonly available for adoption from foster care?What are the typical special needs prospective parents should expect to consider?How long does it take to adopt from foster care?How much does adoption from foster care typically cost?What is the first step prospective adoptive parents should take if they are interested in adopting from foster care?Part 3: International Adoptions to the USWhat is the process to adopt from another country?What is the Hague Treaty, and why is it important for prospective parents to understand?What types of special needs do we most commonly see in children available for adoption from abroad?How long does international adoption take? What factors influence this time?How much does it cost? What factors influence the expenses?What is the first step prospective adoptive parents should take if they are interested in adopting internationally?Understanding Transracial/Transcultural AdoptionWhat is transracial adoption?What should prospective parents understand about raising a child from a different culture than their own?What are racial mirrors, and why are they valuable forSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: Hello, thank you sincerely for your podcast and the work you do. It has helped me feel less alone and allowed me to better navigate foster parenting and adopting from foster care. My husband and I have two amazing boys; they have the same bio mom, and two older siblings each in a different family. Our youngest is 5. We met when he was 3 months. Our oldest is 8. We met when he was 3. He was removed at birth, then placed with his bio mom at 2 months, removed at 8 months, moved to a new foster family at 10 months, and placed with his legal father at 2.5. His bio mom took him illegally after a few months (with the legal father's consent). When he and his baby brother were removed and placed with us, he was sad and scared. We formally adopted our boys three years ago. He has grown into a beautiful, highly intelligent, and athletic boy. However, he has never accepted me as his mother. He refuses affection, pulls away, and looks at me with what I perceive as disgust. We are close with his bio family (siblings and mom), and he is regularly upset that he can't live with his bio mom. Sometimes he blames me. I try to explain, but he shuts me out. His siblings are not with their bio mom either. I keep trying to build a connection, but after 5 years, I am losing hope. It is very easy and natural with my youngest. When we are affectionate, I am afraid my older son will feel left out, but he pushes me away and often won't even let me be near him. When we have special time (just the 2 of us), I plan activities with him that he likes and is excited for, but he often complains and is unhappy during his time with me. He does not remember his life before we met very well, but will recollect things we did and say it was his bio mom. His professional evaluations report that he is well adjusted, but my husband and I have concerns. I know this may be normal, but I desperately want to connect with him. The constant rejection is painful. Any tips or advice are greatly appreciated.Resources:Why Foster Kids Create Fantasy FamiliesAttachment-Informed Tools for Working with Kids6 Tips for Creating Attachment8 Ways to Strengthen Attachment with Your ChildNavigating Challenging Behaviors: Practical Strategies for Parents (Free E-Guide)Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Join us to learn about family rituals—how to create and why they can help build strong families. Our guest will be Elizabeth Barbour, the author of a new book, Sacred Celebrations: Designing Rituals to Navigate Life's Milestone Transitions. She's also a reunited adoptee and an adoptive mom.In this episode, we discuss:Why are rituals important for families? Define the culture of family-this is who we areThis is what we doWhat's the difference between rituals and routines?What's the difference between rituals and habits?Examples of family rituals. Family meetings, kid/parent dates, game nightsgratitude practicesprayer and meditationfamily altarstravelvolunteering togetherWhen families are created through adoption, any specific rituals that can help them?TipsKeep it simpleGet input from all members of the familyConsistencySupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: We have been matched with an expectant mom due in a couple of months. She is having twins. As we are preparing for the next steps, sleep training has come up frequently in newborn care books. What research is there on the cry-it-out method or other popular sleep training methods in relation to adopted children? We want to make sure they know their needs will be met and build a strong adoption bond, but we also want to eventually work towards them being able to sleep through the night.Resources:Did Denmark Actually Ban "Cry it Out?"Video: The Attachment Cycle - Empowered to ConnectSleep Issues with Adopted, Foster, or Relative ChildrenBalancing Attachment with Getting SleepSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are you looking for practical ways to build your child's resilience and sense of safety, and to strengthen your family's connectedness? Listen to this conversation with Ginger Healy, MSW, LCSW, director of programs for the Attachment & Trauma Network and host of the podcast “Regulated and Relational.” Ginger speaks across the nation on trauma-informed schools, therapeutic parenting, and community engagement.In this episode, we discuss:What made you decide to write a book for educators?What were you observing about children's needs around emotional language, self-regulation, and connection?Knowing that at home we often deal with a different rhythm, different dynamics (for example, one caregiver rather than teacher + many students), what initial advice do you have for parents and caregivers to translate this book's classroom tools into a home context? Why is it essential that children learn social/emotional language — not just “feelings words” but the capacity to talk about self, other, relationships, safety?How does having more social/emotional language help a child feel “seen, safe, valued” in a family environment?What are the risks when children don't have that language or opportunity to practice it?We often hear culture around us say, “Kids are resilient.” Why is that a misconception, especially in our community of adopted, foster, or relative children?Why does a child who has experienced trauma need specific, intentional scaffolding to develop their social/emotional language and build their capacity for emotional strength?What are the themes of the workbook that parents or caregivers can bring into their everyday conversations at home?Understanding my story within my family structureReframing my narrative: navigating family challenges and conflictBuilding confidence, hope, and a positive futureCan you suggest a few strategies to get families started with the conversations?What if we are struggling with or lacking these skills ourselves? How do we learn them so we can teach and model them?What practical strategies can we use to integrate these skills into our daily rhythms?How do we know our kids are ready for adjustments in how we practice these skills, or to “level up”?How will they know if these strategies are effective? Do you have practical tips for families that want to strengthen their family dynamics but already feel overwhelmed by the long list of To-Dos? Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: I would love to hear about family profiles for adopting older teens. Resources:Adopting a Child of a Different Race or CultureAdopting Older KidsEvaluating Risk Factors in Foster Care AdoptionSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.What is it like to be the only biological child in a large transracial adoptive family? Our guest, Elaine Duncan, shares her story of how transcultural adoption impacted her identity and resilience. She is a writer, speaker, and strategist whose work bridges storytelling, healing, and social change. She has a passion for improving outcomes for underserved young people and is currently working on a memoir of her life journey.In this episode, we discuss: What did your home look like growing up, and what was it like for you to be the only biological child in a transracial/transcultural adoptive family?Families who adopt across race or culture often wonder how to bring all of those differences together under one roof. How did your family handle conversations about race, culture, and identity?  Were these things openly acknowledged, celebrated, or avoided?How did your parents support (or struggle to support) you in building your own sense of identity — not just as their child, but as an individual?Did you ever feel overlooked or lost in the mix? How could parents avoid that happening for their kids?What were some of the biggest challenges you carried from growing up in this transracial/transcultural adoptive family?How have those challenges shaped your adult life, relationships, or even your current work?What are the gifts or strengths you gained from growing up in such a diverse family?Are there ways your unique upbringing has given you perspective, resilience, or empathy that you now value?Additional Resources:Intergenerational Trauma (podcast)The Impact of Fostering & Adoption on Kids Already in the Family (free on-demand course)Raising a Transracial or Multicultural Child (resource page)Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: I have a friend whose 12-year-old adopted son (adopted at age 6) has been sexually abusing his younger siblings. She self-reported to CPS and law enforcement,  but they have not done a formal removal yet, and their solutions involved bringing the child back home or kinship (not an option). The offending child is currently in a temporary behavioral hospital, and a Refusal to Assume Parental Responsibility was opened on my friend because she will not pick him up, especially not until he receives specialized treatment for sexual aggression. The other children deserve a safe home to heal. Has anyone been through this before? If, after treatment, she still does not feel like it's in the children's best interest for him to return home, what are her options? Resources:Resources for Finding an Adoption-Competent TherapistGil Institute for Trauma Recovery & EducationHelping a Child Heal from Sexual AbuseSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.We're thrilled to introduce you to our new Executive Director, Linda Fiore. Listen to today's conversation about her journey to Creating a Family and where we're heading in this next chapter under her leadership.In this episode, we discuss:What first brought you into the world of adoption, foster care, and kinship care?When you started out, what was your “why”?What values or goals drove your work in those earliest years?What was your first introduction to Creating a Family?When presented with the opportunity to pursue the position of Executive Director, what was it about our mission or the organization's evolution that drew your interest?How did you know this was the right next step for you?What are the pivotal lessons or challenges that shaped your leadership approach?When you look at where Creating a Family stands today, what are our greatest strengths?Kinship care has become a growing focus area for us. Why do you think kinship support is so critical right now?What are some of the plans Creating a Family has to deepen our impact in this space?Our online education programs reach families and professionals across the country. From your experiences in the field, why is education so crucial in these spaces?As we continue to raise awareness of who we are and how we serve this community, what message do you want people to associate with Creating a Family?What stories or values do you hope will come through most clearly?Where do you think Creating a Family is heading in the next few years?Your “why” has probably evolved — what keeps you going now?What's one thing you've learned that you hope every family advocate carries with them from today's conversation?Finally, for those listening or reading who are inspired — individuals, professionals, or organizations — what can they do to join the mission of Creating a Family? Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: Help for a youth dealing with being bullied because they are in foster care?Resources:5 Steps to Effectively Advocate for a Child Who is Being BulliedAre Transracial Adoptees More Likely to Be Bullied?Helping Our Kids Cope with Bullies at SchoolStopBullying.govSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Do you feel like raising a child with a history of trauma has stirred up your own traumatic past? If you wonder how to parent from a position of healing, listen to this conversation with Dr. Robyn Koslowitz. She is a psychologist, trauma expert, and author of the new book, Post-Traumatic Parenting: Break the Cycle, Become the Parent You Always Wanted to Be.In this episode, we discuss:You open your book by saying, ‘It's not you, it's your trauma.' That feels like both a relief and a challenge. Can you unpack that for parents and caregivers who blame themselves for every misstep in their parenting?When you use the term post-traumatic parent, what do you mean? How does that differ from saying ‘parent with trauma' or ‘healed parent'?Many caregivers feel haunted by an internal guilt that says, “How can I give what I never received?” How can parents or caregivers move from guilt to agency—without glossing over the pain?What are the 5 post-traumatic parenting defaults you identify in your book? What do they look like in real-life moments of parenting? How does a parent choose not to opt into those old trauma-driven defaults (e.g., yelling, withdrawal, overcontrol) in the moment? The metaphor of trauma as an appWhat is the concept of cycle-breaking versus cycle-making, and how is it valuable for breaking those unhealthy parenting patterns?What are some practical applications of this post-traumatic parenting reframe? How can a parent create and maintain trauma-responsive routines or rituals that will increase a child's sense of felt safety, without being rigid or feeling like a bunch of rules they must follow?Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: I have been fostering our grandchild since March. It is now almost September. Both biological parents had drug addiction. Bio mom was on a trial home visit, but used this as the reason our grandchild is with us. After the trial home visit ended, bio mom was still getting supervised visits 2x a week. After every visit, the little one was dysregulated and started biting and hitting the daycare kiddos and the provider, and would also act out towards us. She is only 15 months old. Both parents terminated their rights in May, and that is when I put a stop to the visits. We know bio mom was still using while having her supervised visits. I give weekly updates and photos to bio mom. But she keeps pushing for (in-person) visits, and I can't do visits, as I don't know if bio mom is clean or still using. She has had 13 years of using and has found loopholes in the system to keep seeing her other kids, when she doesn't have custody of them. Since we stopped visiting, my grandchild has become more stable and regulated and has stopped biting and hitting. Our caseworker has filed the adoption papers, and we will soon finalize the adoption. Bio mom is still using, and she tells me she is an alienated parent, and that I am keeping her from her child. Am I doing the right thing by not letting her see the child?Resources:How Do You Manage Relationships with Birth Parents with Substance Use Disorders?Open Adoption With Addicted Birth Parents5 Tips for Navigating Sticky Situations with Birth ParentsPractical Help for Shared Parenting in Kinship CaregivingSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Join us for a fun and inspiring conversation with Emily Cole, co-founder and co-owner of Banana Ball, the new sports phenomenon sweeping the country. We're talking with her about Bananas Foster, their non-profit that celebrates foster families all around the nation.In this episode, we talk about:Please tell us the story of how Bananas Foster got started.What was happening in your life that made you say, “We need to do something for foster families”?What was the biggest challenge in getting things off the ground?For listeners who might not know you yet, what's the mission of Bananas Foster?What are some of the biggest everyday needs you hear about from foster, kinship, or adoptive families?How do you see Bananas Foster stepping into those areas of need?What's your big dream for Bananas Foster — say, five or ten years from now?You talk about celebrating and supporting foster families — can you share what that looks like at a typical Banana Ball game day?What kinds of local partnerships do you have in the cities you visit — with churches, agencies, schools, or other groups?Looking ahead, do you have a plan or goal for building on those partnerships or expanding the care you offer with them?The celebrations you host are such a bright spot! What do families tell you after those events — how do they feel when they leave?Is there a particular story, celebration, or family that has really stuck with you?How do you hope those celebrations will grow or change over the next few years?What's one thing you've learned from the families you serve that's changed you personally?For our listeners, how can people get involved or support what Bananas Foster is doing?Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: Do you have trainings for children transitioning from foster care to adoption?Resources:Transitioning a Child to Your HomeWelcoming an Older Child to Your FamilyHelping Your Child Transition Smoothly from Foster Care to AdoptionUsing Lifebooks to Explain Complex Issues in Adoption to KidsBooks about being adopted from foster careSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Do you sometimes feel that self-care is an impossible goal when you are parenting kids who have experienced trauma? There isn't enough time in the day to do it all, much less take care of yourself. Or is there? Join us to talk about how to find time to take care of yourself. We will talk with Angelica Jones, MSW, Program Director of Intercountry Services and the Intensive Service Foster Care Recruiter and Trainer at Vista Del Mar Child and Family Services.In this episode, we discuss:“Selfcare” or “take care of yourself” are overused but still vitally important terms for foster, adoptive, and kinship parents.Why do all parents but especially parents of kids who've experienced trauma need to practice self-care?What is secondary trauma?Why are kids who've experience neglect, abuse and other childhood traumas harder to  parent?Challenging BehaviorsLearning disabilitiesThe busyness of foster and adoptive parenting.So many appointments (therapy, OT, tutoring, doctors, IEP meetings, social workers, birth family visits, etc.)Helping with education-homework struggles.Dealing with the emotional fallout from early life trauma.What are some of the barriers to taking care of ourselves as adoptive, foster or kinship parents?The importance of respite care and the barriers to parents using it.Practical ideas for providing self-care.Think small when thinking self-care.Ask for help and accept it when offered. If someone offers to help, say “yes” and suggest something specific.Parent Support groupsSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: We adopted our son at birth, and he is about to turn one already. I deeply care about his birth parents and have tried very hard to maintain a relationship with them. Even during many months of no contact, I think about them every day. Our only post-placement visit with them was at 2 1/2 months. They have no-showed for all the other visits they asked for, and have gone several months at a time without responding to contact. They missed a visit 2 weeks ago and have finally reached back out asking to plan another. Visits require 6 hours of driving and coordinating time off from work. They do not drive and would not have any means of travelling to us. Our plan was to do visits 2-4 times a year. We offered to plan another visit the week of his birthday. I also offered to send weekly text updates. I work in healthcare and need to be very present in my job and prefer not to be on my phone when I am home with my family, so I do not text anyone much during the week. I am now being asked to provide daily updates and to do visits monthly. I don't even respond to my best friend more than once or twice a week because it is hard for me to keep up with messages. I am also not convinced that increasing the frequency of visits will help them follow through on attending them due to the pattern that has occurred so far. I am feeling overwhelmed and unsure how to move forward in a way that is loving and respectful, but also sustainable for our family and best for our son.Resources:5 Tips for Navigating Sticky Situations with Birth ParentsCreating Relationship with Birth Parents in Adoption (Even When It's Hard!)Mama on Earth: A Guest Article on Co-ParentingOpen Adoption Can Be MessyOur #1 Secret Tip for Navigating Open AdoptionSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Why do our kids melt down, act out, or regress during the holiday season? Listen to our conversation with Dr. David Adams to learn what is going on and what you can do about it to make this holiday season more enjoyable for you all. He is an adoptive and foster dad, a licensed psychologist, and a licensed professional counselor. He is the Founding Director and President of New Life Psychology Group in Laguna Hills, California, and an expert trainer of Foster and Kinship Care Education (FKCE) at Saddleback College. He has also recently written and released the book, Trauma-Informed Foster and Adoptive Parenting: Methods for Managing Meltdowns, Mishaps, and Maladaptive Behaviors.In this episode, we discuss:What are some of the reasons that holidays are hard for children who are adopted or are in foster care?What kind of behaviors do parents and caregivers commonly see that are likely related to those challenges around holidays?Sleep challengesFeeding challengesIncreased anxiety, fear, insecurityImpulsivityDysregulation (louder than usual, bigger emotional response than normal for this child)How do these behaviors relate to the reasons holidays are hard for our kids? What's the connection between that outward behavior and the internal need or hurt?Can you provide us with a few practical strategies for addressing these behaviors? Let's break them down by age:Toddler and preschoolersSchool-aged childrenTweens and Teens (into young adults)What trauma-sensitive preparations or preventative actions can we take to minimize the challenging behaviors and help our kids feel safe, supported, and able to find healing?What is compassion fatigue? What signs should we look for to help us identify our risk during this holiday season?Strategies to help parents and caregivers plan now for a less-stressful holiday season.Additional Resources:Set Your Family Up for Success This Holiday SeasonTips for Managing Your Picky EaterStrategies to Manage Holiday StressSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: My adoptive child was contacted by the birth mother, never contacted us, it has caused chaos in our family. The parents that adopt kids are never considered after raising a child for over 20 years to give them back. Resources:Adoptive Mom Feels Left Out at Son's Reunion with Birth MotherWhat You Need to Know about Open Adoption5 Tips for Navigating Sticky Situations with Birth ParentsAdvice to My Pre-Adoptive Parent SelfSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.How do you handle sleep struggles when raising a child who has been impacted by trauma, prenatal substance exposure, or other challenges? Listen to our conversation with Dr. Chris Winter, a sleep researcher and neurologist who has practiced sleep medicine and neurology since 2004. He is also the author of The Rested Child: Why Your Tired, Wired or Irritable Child May Have A Sleep Disorder--And How To Help, and hosts the podcast Sleep Unplugged with Dr. Chris Winter.In this episode, we discuss:Understanding the value of sleep and reframing the conversation about expectations and what your child needs to support overall health, development, and wellbeing.What makes adopted, foster, or kinship children particularly vulnerable to sleep challenges?How might a child's early trauma and experiences of loss — such as separation from birth families or multiple moves — show up in their sleep patterns? What effects do frequent environmental changes have on a child's sleep?How might prenatal exposure to substances (e.g., opioids, alcohol, others) impact a child's sleep?What may be the challenges that children with neurodiversity (Down syndrome, ADHD, ASD etc) experience?What are the practical strategies you have found successful in helping families with sleep disturbances?Why is it important to teach our kids the value of rest—even without sleep?What should we consider when setting up a consistent routine and sleep-friendly setting for our kids?When is it time to seek professional evaluation—like a sleep study or specialist referral for our kids?What guidance do you offer caregivers to help them stay consistent, avoid burnout, and model healthy sleep habits?Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: How should I deal with an adoptive child with a people-pleasing personality? I want to prevent the anxiety that comes with that, but I'm not sure how. Resources:6 Tips for Creating AttachmentHow to Cultivate Resilience in Your Kids7 Character Traits Your Kids Need to ThriveSigns Your Child Might Be People Pleasing and How to HelpSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.How do you manage daily expenses and budgeting when you are a foster or kinship caregiving family? We speak with Nicole Valenzuela, a foster parent and founder of Fostering Finances, to learn about simplified budgeting practices and healthy mindsets for managing money.In this episode, we discuss:What are the financial challenges that foster and kinship families commonly face?How do those challenges differ between kinship caregivers and licensed foster parents?Are there particular challenges for LGBTQ+ and BIPOC foster or kinship families?What about single foster parents or kinship caregivers?What are the day-to-day costs that aren't always covered by stipends or allowances? What hurdles might the informal caregivers face (those not participating in the foster care system while caring for a relative child) in accessing services or support?What financial supports may be available but underutilized by foster and kinship families?What are the Kinship Navigator Programs? How can they help — where are they found, etc.?What are some tax strategies or credits that families caring for foster or kin children may be eligible for?How can caregivers build a small financial buffer for the inevitable emergency that comes with raising kids? What advice do you give around savings or flexibility?Suggestions for simple budgeting or expense-tracking strategies that foster or kinship families might implement right away?What are some low-cost ways for foster parents or grandparents raising grandkids to meet these kids' needs while preserving their dignity?What other effective community-level initiatives or organizations are you aware of that support these families?How can caregivers locate and tap into similar resources in their own communities?How do caregivers decide which financial strategies to focus on first?What practical steps can they take to set in motion a plan to stabilize their household finances over the next 6 months?What are some early small wins that build confidence—say, saving a few dollars a week, or successfully claiming a benefit?What is a scarcity mindset and what are signs that a caregiver might be struggling with scarcity mindset?What are the top three ‘practical financial strategies' you'd want every foster or kinship caregiver to walk away with from today?Finally, what's your best encouragement to caregivers who feel overwhelmed by financial pressures?Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: My husband and I are considering whether we will open our special needs consideration to include children who are HIV+. We have already been approved to adopt from India, and as our home study update approaches, we are taking a good, hard look at the Special Needs list again. I was listening to your podcast episode on this topic from 2013 and wondered if this was worth an updated episode? Has much changed for families living with HIV?Resources:Factors to Consider When Adopting from IndiaCountry Comparison ChartsCommon Special Needs in International AdoptionSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.What strategies can parents and caregivers implement in their homes to help reduce the risk that their children may be sexually abused? Learn practical parenting tools from this conversation with Dr. Eliana Gil, the founder of the Gil Institute for Trauma Recovery and Education. She specializes in the assessment and treatment of trauma in children, especially those who have been sexually abused.In this episode, we discuss:Why should adoptive and foster parents and relative caregivers learn about the risks for sexual abuse of children in our community and how to prevent it?How can parents or caregivers tell the difference between normal childhood curiosity and behaviors that may signal a problem?What are some warning signs that might give parents or caregivers a clue to dig deeper into problematic behaviors they observe?If a child is showing some of these concerning behaviors, what are some practical and supportive ways caregivers can respond?Why is it preventative for parents and caregivers to use correct anatomical terms with kids?Can you offer a few practical suggestions for parents and caregivers to get more comfortable with correct terminology, if they find this an obstacle to equipping and educating their kids?What signs should parents and caregivers be on the lookout for – things that may suggest a child has been abused?5 categories: fear/anxiety, depression, sexual acting out, attachmentEmphasize that no single sign proves abuse but patterns and context matter.If a caregiver suspects abuse, what steps should they take?What is the parents' or caregiver's role once they have reported to the proper authorities?What are some everyday preventative practices families can put in place to keep kids safe while also allowing them to grow in healthy ways?Protective, not paranoidOpen communication in the homeSupervision by safe adultsSafe boundaries in the homeTeaching consent and respectModeling healthy relationshipsAny last words of advice for adoptive parents, foster parents, or relative caregivers about protecting their kids from sexual abuse? Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: My husband and I are in the process of adopting a waiting child internationally. This is our first adoption and we will soon be waiting to be matched with a child. I teach in higher education and my schedule is coordinated about nine months out. I am working with my supervisors to try and make sure my schedule for the next year is flexible to account for uncertain adoption timing. It has been so difficult to try and navigate this with my job, especially because my institution has very limited options for paid parental leave. I'm wondering if you have any insight into how to discuss a few of my questions with my employer:How to manage unpredictable adoption timelines that may require mid-semester leave on minimal notice,Explaining the necessity of time off work to bond with our new child, without the physical recovery needs that traditional birth includes, and That while teaching online is an option, balancing teaching online with international travel and a critical bonding period is very daunting. If you have any insight into how to discuss these topics with my employer, or any additional details I should be considering, I would love to hear your thoughts. I should say that my supervisors are very supportive and excited for my family, and they are open to creative solutions. These are just uncharted waters at my institution. I love listening to your podcast every week and my husband and I have learned so much from you all while we've been on our adoption journey!Resources:How Can I Get Paid Leave for My Adoption?The Movement Project: Relationship & Parental Recognition: State Family Leave Laws Center for Parental Leave LeadershipSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Resilience is more than just bouncing back from a challenge. Join us for a conversation about building resilience in ourselves and our kids, understanding coping tools, and caring well for ourselves while raising kids who may have significant gaps in their resilience. We talk with Kathleen Harnish McKune and her sister, Karen Dickson from Remarkably Resilient, Inc., a non-profit organization committed to partnering to empower healing from trauma. In this episode, we cover:How do you define resilience? What does it look like in real life, not just in theory?What are resilience cups? Why do we need a full cup?How can parents and caregivers fill their cups while raising kids impacted by trauma, prenatal exposure, etc?What are your “5 Rs” of resilience?RegulationRelationshipsResponseRecoveryReflectionWhat are some typical challenges – or symptoms – we might see in a child whose resilience is undeveloped or lacking? When a child is struggling with challenging behaviors that show some gaps in their resilience, how can parents/caregivers practically implement these 5 Rs in the moment?What are the coping tools you've identified to help people implement resilience-building strategies – the 4 Cs: CalmCareCourageConnect Strengthening resilience at the individual level ripples out to families, communities, and beyond. What gives you hope as you do this work?Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: We are currently going through our home study to adopt from foster care, and I'm wondering if it is too early to look at photo listings? I have been looking at photo listings for a long time, but now, when I read the bios, it feels real, and I get slightly attached. I'm curious if you think this is setting myself up for disappointment.Resources:Adoptions in the US – Our Annual UpdateAdoption Comparison ChartsFoster Care AdoptionDealing with a Long Wait While AdoptingThe Impact of Fostering and Adoption on Kids Already in the FamilySupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.What is human trafficking? Is your child at increased risk of being trafficked? Listen to this conversation with guests Dr. Yolanda Montgomery, a nurse, advocate, and the founder of Zoë Ministries, a nonprofit established in 2012 to combat human trafficking in Delaware and beyond, and Sara Poore, the Executive Director of the Delaware Anti-Trafficking Action Council (DATAC), leading statewide efforts to prevent human trafficking, support survivors, and strengthen community partnerships.In this episode, we discuss:What is human trafficking, and how does it show up in the lives of children and teens in the U.S.?Why might children who have experienced foster care, adoption, or relative caregiving be at higher risk for trafficking?What role do things like running away, online activity, or mental health play in increasing risk?Are there particular ages or developmental stages when children are most at risk?What systemic factors—such as placement instability or a lack of adult oversight—contribute to vulnerability?What signs or red flags should caregivers be watching for in their children or teens?How does trafficking often begin for vulnerable youth?What should a caregiver do if they suspect trafficking or exploitation?If a child discloses trafficking or exploitation, what should a caregiver's first response be?What kinds of services or professionals should a caregiver seek out to help a child recover from trafficking or exploitation?What are some preventative actions parents and caregivers can build into their homes and relationships with their kids?What can caregivers be sensitive to at home, things that may contribute to increasing risk factors for our kids who are more vulnerable to these risks? (What conversations should caregivers be having regularly with their tweens or teens about trafficking risks?What resources, hotlines, or support networks should every caregiver have saved in their phones, or know about?In addition to being the one safe, stable, nurturing adult in a child's life, what other practical protective factors can parents and caregivers incorporate into their home's daily rhythms?Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: We very recently brought home our second child through domestic infant adoption. We feel very fortunate, and our son is developing well; we are also settling into the new routine.  We matched with our Son's birth mother through a local agency, and unfortunately, she decided that she did not want to meet us. She gave no information about the biological father.  We know she was caucasian, but honestly, it is unclear whether our son is entirely caucasian or not. The pediatrician said it was a mystery, and he may be caucasian with a darker complexion, or biracial, some amount of Hispanic, black, or any other heritage. We want to do everything in our power to be informed, acknowledge, and celebrate any ethnic background that is presented, but short of doing a DNA ancestry service on a baby that is a few weeks old, I don't really know where to begin- I'd appreciate any guidance you have. Resources:Raising a Transracial or Multicultural ChildAdoptee VoicesEthical Issues in Genetic Testing in AdoptionGenetic Testing and Genealogy for AdopteesGenetic Testing for Adoptees – Is It Worth It?Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Do you worry about the impacts that screen time, social media, or gaming have on your tween and teens' mental health? We spoke to Brittany Anderson, an author, certified play and narrative intelligence practitioner, and the founder of Renala, which helps families become creative, vision-driven leaders—beginning at home.In this episode, we discuss:What are the most common concerns that parents and caregivers have about their tween or teen's tech use?Are those concerns more about the amount of time kids spend on devices, the content they're seeking out, or the content they stumble upon?What are the differences in concerns between parents of pre-teens/tweens (11–13) and older teens (16–18)?What does current research say about how much screen time is considered healthy—or at least not harmful—for our tweens and teens? Is the amount of time as important as how that time is being spent?Are there particular times of day when device use is more problematic for mental health (e.g., late at night)?What types of online content are most worrisome for the tweens and teens in our homes?What mental health effects are we seeing most often in tweens and teens related to tech use? What are the symptoms of mental health that parents and caregivers should look for?Why might kids with a history of trauma and loss, prenatal exposure to alcohol or drugs, or neurodiversity be more vulnerable to tech-related mental health challenges?How do issues like attachment, identity, and resilience intersect with device use?Are there specific risks associated with online relationships, gaming communities, or social media for these children?What can adoptive and foster parents, as well as caregivers such as grandparents raising their grandchildren, do proactively to reduce some of these risks before problems arise?What role do boundaries, monitoring, and co-viewing/co-playing have in prevention?How can they help their child develop self-protective, self-regulation skills, such as learning to prioritize their own mental health and manage their device use? If a tween or teen has already had a harmful tech-related experience, what steps should parents/caregivers take immediately? What does a healthy “tech culture” in a home look like for tweens and teens? One piece of equipping and empowering advice for leading with purpose and mission around the issues of technology, devices, and tweens' and teens' mental healthRESOURCES:Managing Technology and ScreensWhat Resource Parents Should Know About Prenatal ExposureHow to CuSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: I have resentment against my (soon-to-be adopted) child's mom, who is an addict. I get frustrated with his disrespect & disobedience, and bitterness & resentment rise up. He also respects my husband way more than me. I am trying so hard not to let it show or to take it out on him. I need help!Resources:Parenting Children with Challenging Behaviors Prenatal Exposure, Part 1: Parenting Babies through Elementary AgesParenting a Challenging Child: A Collaborative ApproachSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Do you dread the teen years? Or, if you're in the midst of parenting teens, do you struggle to find ways to connect? This week, we interview Dr. Melody Aguayo, a parenting coach specializing in working with at-risk children and their families and the founder of Real Child Consulting, LLC. She is the mom of two adopted kids.In this episode, we discuss:Parents wonder why their easy and natural connection with their kids changed, and they now feel on the outs and have to work harder. What is the developmental stage that is happening between the ages of about 13 and 18 or 19?Teens act like they don't need us, when I believe they need us even more, to be present, but in a distinctly different way. I think that our emotions as a parent can sometimes interfere with connecting with teens.Change our expectation of what “connection” means with teens.Parents report feeling powerless in parenting when their kids reach their teen years. What is the essence of our power as parents?Our goals for our teens are to become responsible and independent. How can we parent in such a way to foster these goals?Let's address some common issues we face when parenting teens: Arguing. How to turn an argument into a conversation?Spending too much time on technologyRunning with the wrong crowdTips for connecting and building trust and appreciation with your teen!Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.I spent some time this week thinking about what I've learned from my experiences as an adoptive parent and the wisdom of others in our community. In reflection, I've created a list of the things I wish I knew before adopting.Resources:8 Things I Wish I Had Known Before I AdoptedFree courses to strengthen your familyTherapeutic Parenting: Strategies & SolutionsBeginner's Guide to TBRI Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Kinship-led families have unique needs, and finding resources to meet those needs can be a challenge. Today, we're talking with Mike Heath, a Resource Specialist with the Coalition for Children, Youth & Families in Wisconsin. The Coalition is a Resource Center for birth parents, foster families, adoptive families, relative/kinship/and like-kin caregivers, and child welfare and Tribal agency professionals.In this episode, we discuss:What are the most frequently reported everyday needs or resource gaps caregivers are experiencing? What is the most pressing need these kids are facing when they come to a new caregiver?What are the urgent needs caregivers have when welcoming a child or a sibling group, etc?Where can families find help with immediate essentials—such as beds, cribs, car seats, clothing, and school supplies?Which phone numbers should caregivers keep on speed dial?How should a relative caregiver secure the ability to make medical and school decisions quickly? What papers or forms should caregivers request on day one? From whom?Managing the documentation and paperwork can be a significant challenge for a new caregiver. Do you have any recommendations for managing this?Should school enrollment be a priority in that first week? How should a caregiver start the process of ensuring medical coverage (dental, vision, prescriptions, and mental health included)?Where should I start if I find the Medicaid/CHIP process confusing? Once a kinship-led family is settling in, what additional needs or options should they consider? Where to go to learn about those options?What are the possible financial resources that caregivers should look into?Importance of self-care, mental wellness, and community for both caregivers and the children they supportIf a new caregiver listens to this and does only three things this week, what should they be?Resources:Free Download Checklist for the first 30 days as a Kinship CaregiverVirtual Resource Kit for Relative Caregivers - Virtual Resource Kit: Relative Caregiving - Wisconsin Family Connections CenterRelative Caregiver Learning Pathway on Champion Classrooms (Free recorded webinar series) - Relative Caregiver Learning Pathway Link Collection of Resources for Relative Caregivers - https://wifamilyconnectionscenter.org/how-do-i/find-support-as-a-relative-caregiver/Coalition for Children, Youth & Families - Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Today, we are tackling a question that comes up a lot for parents and caregivers in our community – what do you do with a picky eater? Resources: Food IssuesMy Foster Child Only Eats Junk FoodPractical Solutions to Typical Food Issues with Adopted and Foster KidsSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Jackson TerKeurst was born in Liberia and by the age of 7 was a war orphan living in dire circumstances. So how did he end up as an entrepreneur, leader, and now author? Join us for an inspirational conversation about identity, overcoming, and redemption from Jackson's new book, The Only Way Forward is Back.In this episode, we discuss:Cultural differences How challenges like poverty and food insecurity impacted your first experiences in the StatesHow did your trauma manifest in your behavior at home?How did your family help heal those impacts?Discuss the additional unique challenges that being adopted as a teenager may have presented during your early months and years in your new family.Discuss how you've worked on answering "Who Am I?" across the chapters of your life?What were the helpful or healing experiences that went into pulling all those parts of your identity together to create today's Jackson TerKuerst, husband, father, son, brother, entrepreneur, and now author?What would you say to parents or caregivers who are in the thick of it right now, walking with a child who is struggling to figure out who they are and where they belong?Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: Are there travel restrictions when you are fostering? For example, my family lives out of state, but can I bring the child with me when I travel to visit family?Resources:Working as Part of a Foster Care TeamWorking with the Birth Parents for the Child's Best InterestBecoming a Foster ParentSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are you considering adopting a child over the age of 5? Listen to this interview with Sarah Hansen and Simi Riesner. Sarah is the Director of International Advocacy at the Gladney Center for Adoption, with over 20 years of experience supporting adoptive families and children. She is also an adoptive parent to an older child from Thailand. Simi is the Executive Director of Mazi Adoption and Family Services, as well as a licensed social worker and foster parent.  Simi also has lived experience as an adult adoptee, and is passionate about maintaining sibling relationships and promoting transparency within the adoption community. In this episode, we discuss:What are the age ranges you see being the most difficult to find adoptive homes for?Generally the greatest need in both international and foster care adoption is kids 5+Why are many prospective parents are almost afraid of adopting a tween or teen.What are the common challenging behaviors parents may face when adopting an older child: (keeping in mind that not all older children will struggle with these behaviors!) Lying, stealingLagging social skillsActing out physically or sexuallySibling rivalryRegression of already developed skills (potty training, sleep, communication etc)What behaviors might parents expect to see in the children already living in the home that are likely impacted by the behaviors of a newly adopted sibling? Or influenced by the new sibling?Why do older children behave in some of these challenging ways? What's driving them? Grief, lossTrauma, abuse, neglectPrenatal exposure to drugs/alcoholFear, unpredictability, Fight/flight/freeze responseConstant hypervigilanceCoping or survival skillsMental health challengesUndiagnosed learning challengesWhat are a few specific strategies to build trust and felt-safety for a newly adopted older child?What suggestions do you offer families who are adopting tweens and teens – especially when those young people have had very few limits or boundaries around them prior to adoption?What are the signs that maybe an older child is not attaching securely or catching on to the idea that they are now part of this family?Practical tips to implement today when considering Older Child AdoptionResources:6 Tips for Older Child AdoptionMaintaining a Healthy Perspective When Parenting Tweens & TeensPreparing to Blend Kids by Birth and Adoption or Foster/Kinship CareSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Questions: I am a 58 single man and I am considering fostering. My first question is how much of a bias is there against men? What are the unique challenges that single foster dads face that discourage so many? What can we do to get more single foster dads to help families reunify, foster, and possibly adopt?Resources:Creating a Support Network as a Single Adoptive, Foster, or Kinship Parent (Article)Adopting as a Single Parent (Online Parent Training course)Resources for Adopting or Fostering as a Single ParentSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are you educated and informed on the issues around weed and vaping, including THC, nicotine, and the signs of addiction? Listen to this interview with Dr. Krishna White. She is an attending physician at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia, with board certifications in Pediatrics, Adolescent Medicine, and Addiction Medicine. In this episode, we discuss:Can you explain why kids who've experienced trauma, prenatal substance exposure, or who are neurodivergent may be at greater risk for turning to substances like marijuana or vaping?How are kids typically using marijuana today? (edibles, vaping THC, traditional smoking, oils)Are kids generally aware of what they're consuming, especially when it comes to the potency of today's marijuana?What are some of the short-term effects of marijuana use in adolescents?What long-term impacts are you seeing in your clinical practice, especially for kids whose brains are still developing?Now let's move to vaping – what it is, why it's so popular, and what we need to know about how kids are using it. Can you break down what vaping is and what substances kids may be inhaling?Why is vaping so appealing to tweens and teens, even those who've never used another substance?What are some of the immediate health concerns tied to vaping in young people?And long-term—what are you most worried about when it comes to kids who are vaping regularly?What strategies can adoptive, foster, or kinship caregivers use to help buffer or “substance-proof” their kids?How early should conversations about marijuana and vaping begin?For kids who already have a higher vulnerability, what are some protective factors or environments that help reduce their risk?What are some signs that a child might be using marijuana or vaping—even if they're trying to hide it?If a child has already started using, how can caregivers respond in a way that's both firm and supportive?When does occasional experimentation cross the line into something that needs professional help?What are nicotine pouches – why are they appealing and what are the short or long term impacts we should know about?What would you say to a caregiver who's feeling overwhelmed or ashamed that this is part of their child's story?If you could offer just one piece of advice to a caregiver trying to navigate this with their teen, what would it be?Resources:Prenatal Exposure, Part 2: Parenting Tweens and TeensAre Kids Exposed Prenatally More Likely to Abuse Alcohol & Drugs?Preventing Teen Substance Abuse - Center for Parent and Teen CommunicSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: I have listened to hundreds of adoption-related podcast episodes, but very few of them have talked about talking directly with a potential birth mother. We were matched with an expectant mother who wanted to be able to communicate with us directly. We agreed, believing that it would help us form a better relationship. However, we were mentally unprepared for the wavering she expressed to us. Despite being so certain when we first met with her, as the pregnancy went on, she then had thoughts of parenting. The match ended with disruption, but I would love to hear a podcast about how to handle oneself in that situation. An episode of another podcast talked about how to handle that situation at the hospital during birth, but I felt something dedicated to communication throughout the pregnancy would be helpful.  Thanks for such a helpful podcast!Resources:Our #1 Secret Tip for Navigating Open AdoptionSigns that an Expectant Woman May Change Her Mind About Placing Her Child for AdoptionUnderstanding Expectant Moms Who are Considering AdoptionSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are you considering adopting internationally? You need to listen to this interview about the laws and processes that you will be required to follow. We'll be talking with Kelly Dempsey, a partner with Fox Rothschild, who specializes in adoption and assisted reproduction. She is a fellow in the Academy of Adoption & Assisted Reproduction Attorneys and an adoptive parent through both international and domestic adoptions.In this episode, we discuss:Hague Convention on the Protection of Children and Co-operation in Respect of Intercountry Adoption Purpose Key Elements of the Hague Treaty:Central Authority Determining the child's eligibility for intercountry adoptionAccredited or Approved Adoption AgenciesTransparencyThe Immigration and Nationality Act (INA) INA 101(b)(1)(F) I-600 “Orphan Route” Child must qualify as an orphan under US definitionOnly one parent – incapable of providing supportDeadlines: I600A before child's 16th birthday -- only have 180 days to file the I-600, after USCIS approves the I-600 INA 101(b)(1)(G) I-800 “Convention Route”Work with CA Art 12, Art 16Eligibility decided by CA COO, but if consulate does an I-604 investigation that disqualifies child, then case will be deniedDeadlines: Must file I-800A before age 16 and within 180 days of the approval of the I-800A, must file the I-800 (even w/o Art 16)Children adopted from other countries must first obtain a U.S. visa before they can travel or move to the United States. Visas are issued at the U.S. Embassy or Consulate in the foreign country where a child resides. Since a child being adopted abroad by a U.S. citizen parent(s) will usually be brought to live in the United States, that child will need an immigrant visa.International Accreditation ActProcess When Adopting from a Hague Country. Process When Adopting from a Non-Hague countries. Must qualify as orphans as defined by the Immigration and Nationality Act (INA) before they can be considered for U.S. permanent residence or citizenship.Get more information at the State Department - Adoption Process/Non-Hague Visa Process. More information on the Hague Convention and other applicable Federal regulations US State Department - International AdoptionUS Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS)  US Department of State has a section on their website on “Understanding the Hague Convention” US Department of State has a section on their website on “Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building