Creating a Family: Talk about Infertility, Adoption & Foster Care

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: A listener wrote in asking about encopresis and enuresis. These tips are for handling bedwetting or soiling accidents once your child is successfully potty trained.Resources:Bedwetting and Related Toileting Issues (Article)Helping Children Heal from TraumaSleep IssuesSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.How do you define self-care? Are you establishing a routine of self-care that supports you to meet your kid's needs? Nicole Barlow joins the podcast to discuss how we think about self-care, why it's crucial, and how to create rhythms of self-care in our homes. She is a certified wellness coach, TBRI® Practitioner, and parent trainer for foster and adoptive parents.In this episode, we discuss:Re-define self-careWhy is self-care crucial for parents and caregivers?Why do so many of us resist or neglect self-care?What are some of the benefits of a well-rounded approach to self-care that might move the needle for someone who says, “I'm too busy…” or “Self-care is selfish, etc.”What are some of the indicators we might identify in our lives that say we should focus on our wellbeing more intently? Framing a holistic approach to self-care:Physical wellnessEmotional & Mental wellnessSpiritual wellnessWhere does one start if we've never established regular self-care routines?How can we build from that starting place into overall rhythms of self-care?Where do practices like meal planning, budgeting, and home management fit into the picture?What about socialization, building a support network, engaging in respite, etc.?What do you recommend to parents and caregivers who look up one day and find themselves isolated or without a solid support network? Where do they start building or re-building that for themselves? Practical advice to start and maintain a self-care routineWalk every dayBoost the benefit by walking with a friendBoost the benefit by engaging in quiet time, self-reflection, prayer, etc.Engage in strength trainingBuilding muscle aids the body in processing stressEat whole foodsNourishing your body aids in regulating and processing stressSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: Today's question is about black parents adopting a white child. This was a question we received from a survey we sent out to issues that our audience wished that we would address.Resources:Raising a Child Through a Transracial AdoptionTransracial Adoption Twist: Black Parents Adopting White KidsBlack Families Adopting White ChildrenSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.How can we get people of faith more involved in helping vulnerable kids and families and supporting foster and kinship families? Join our discussion with Jason Johnson and Shmuly Yanklowitz. Pastor Johnson is with The Christian Alliance for Orphans (CAFO) and is both a foster and adoptive dad.  Rabbi Shmuly Yanklowitz is the Founder & President of YATOM: The Jewish Foster & Adoption Network. Rabbi Yanklowitz has twice been named one of America's Top Rabbis by Newsweek and is a foster dad.In this episode, we discuss:How can churches, synagogues, mosques, and other faith communities step forward to help families?What are the different ways people of faith can help?How do we get the rabbis, ministers, and leaders on board?Better for the church or synagogueWhat are the biggest obstacles you see for leadership to want to embrace this ministry or program?How to get people involved?What are the biggest obstacles for people wanting to get involved?How can places of faith circle around grandparents and other relatives caring for children?Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: I want to know how I can help my child/foster, or adoptee with issues that arise out of the blue. There are things that happen that you're not aware of, and it just shocks you and throws you off. As an adult, it's hard to know how to handle some of these things because you can make it worse for the child. Sometimes I feel like I need a therapist to help me navigate being a foster parent.Resources:Creating a Family Online Support GroupHelping a Child Heal from TraumaTherapy ResourcesSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Join us to discuss how adoption looks and feels from all sides of the adoption triad. Our guests will be the authors Sara Easterly, Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard, and Lori Holden of their book, Adoption Unfiltered.In this episode, we discuss:Adoptee Perspective:23 adoptees contributed to this section of the book. What are some of the issues adoptees may face?Compliance and people-pleasingFantasy AttachmentsShameInterracial AdopteesThe Danger in the Rescue NarrativeRole of religionin adoption for adoptees, birth mothers/expectant mothers, and adoptive parentsBirth Mother:Before birth mothers get the chance to ask for help, they ask for mercy.Advertisements and search algorithms when searching for adoption informationLack of neutral supportLack of post-placement support—lingering trauma and grief—It's a different type of grief and trauma.Adoptive Parent:Insecurity—who's the real parentAdoption Unfiltered OnlineSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: My wife and I adopted a newborn baby almost 3 years ago and we could not be happier. Now that he is getting a little older, he is talking and starting to understand things. My question is how can we best normalize his adoption with him? I know it is better for kids to grow up with everyone being open with him and his adoption so it feels like now is a good time to start.  But I am not sure how to that with an almost 3-year-old.  For context, we do not have any contact with the birth family. We send updates and pictures to the agency, but they have not expressed interest in having contact with us. This always seemed like an avenue to start that conversation (you have a birth family and an adoptive family). Without that, I'm not sure how to start talking to him about adoption.  Any help would be greatly appreciated.Resources:Talking about Adoption, Part 1: Talking with 0-5 Year Olds (Article)Talking with Kids about Adoption (Resource page)Talking with Kids about Birth Parents (Suggested Books for Young Kids)Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Many prospective adoptive families feel anxious about the home study. Our guest, Sheila Kowit, is an adoption social worker with Adoptions From the Heart. She prepares home studies for both domestic infant and international adoptions. She explains what the process is like, what you can expect, and what you will learn in the home study process.In this episode, we discuss:What is an adoption home study?Is it possible to get one home study that can be used with all types of adoptions: domestic infant, foster care, and international adoption?What is the purpose of the adoption home study?At what point in the adoption process is the home study usually done in domestic infant adoption?In international adoption?How long does it take to complete an adoption home study in domestic infant adoption?In international adoptionHow much does an adoption home study cost for domestic infant adoption?For international adoptionWhat information can the prospective adoptive parents expect to compile for a domestic infant adoption home study? How does this differ for international adoption?Medical historyStatements of income and assetsAutobiographical statementsReferencesWhat, if any, are the physical health concerns:For international adoption, consult our Adoption Comparison Charts Do you have to have a current physical?What to do about getting a medical physical if you don't have a regular primary doctor. Can you go to Urgent Care clinics or Minute Clinics for an adoption physical?Can you do domestic infant adoption if you or your partner/spouse has a mental health diagnosis? What about international adoption?For international adoption, consult our Adoption Comparison Charts Criminal background concerns for domestic infant adoption? For international adoption?DUIs, misdemeanors, expunged records?It is important to be honest and share it all with your social worker.What gets included in the financial portion of the home study for domestic infant adoption? For international adoption?Income, liabilities, and assets assessmentDocumentation necessaryCheck country listings at our Adoption Comparison Charts or USCIS Intercountry Adoption Information Writing your personal history for a domestic infant? And for international?Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: My husband and I had a swift match and placement in December. When we were presented with the case, all that was reported for drug use was smoking 12 cigarettes a day. After about a month of trying to get medical records from the hospital for my pediatrician, I discovered my baby's meconium tested positive for meth. This lab test resulted on Monday, and we were released from the hospital the Friday before, so no one told us about this result. The agency got me the medical records and didn't mention them when sending them to me. I was also told the birth mom had prenatal care when the medical records say spotty prenatal care.     I was shocked when I came across the lab results. We met both of my son's birth parents a couple of times while in the hospital and had good visits. My husband is usually very good at identifying people on drugs, but he didn't suspect anything was amiss. We met our son's siblings, and they all seemed well cared for. My son also did not appear to go through withdrawals. He was never in the NICU and was released from the hospital 2 days after birth. He was of a healthy weight and had excellent Apgar scores. I know I would have passed on this case if I knew meth was involved and so in a way this is a blessing because I love my son and am so glad we were selected to parent him, but I feel some trust has broken between us and his birth parents. I text them weekly with photos and small updates, but I can't help but feel a little resentful (to both the birth parents and the agency). How do you suggest I deal with this situation? Resources:Raising a Child with Prenatal Substance Exposure (Resource page)Evaluating Risk Factors in Adoption (Resource page)Creating a Family Online Support GroupSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are you raising a mixed-race child? Join our conversation with Nicole Doyley, a biracial woman raising biracial kids, and the author of What About the Children: 5 Values for Multiracial Families.Terminology: what is preferred-biracial, mixed race, multi-racial, mixed?Biracial includes Black/White, Black/Asian, White/Asian, Hispanic/Black, Indigenous/Black/Hispanic. In this interview, we are talking about mixed-race, but families can also be mixed culturally.Is it true that mixed-race is the fastest-growing group in the US?Issues facing biracial people in the US. Based on personal experience as well as a 2020 Vox Survey of Mixed Americans.No man's land of racelessnessHaving to always answer the question “What are you?”Not fully accepted by either raceWanting to ditch one race so as to be fully the other raceFeeling isolatedConfused identityRejecting the idea of having to fit into just one box As a child, you didn't like the ambiguity that biracial brought to your life. You say you felt a “two-ness”. But you came to view being of mixed race as a blessing rather than a curse. Why, as a child did it feel uncomfortable to you and how did you grow to accept it?Do you think a mixed-race adopted or foster child being raised by parents of a different race from them but the same shared race with each other will face different challenges? In the past, it was common to tell adoptive/foster/grandparents that the world was going to treat their child as Black (or another race), so you should focus your efforts on raising a Black child and not emphasize their other race. People in the US see race first. How should parents handle it?Does it matter if the child's dominant features make her look like she fits more squarely in one race?5 values for raising a biracial child:AwarenessHumilityDiversityHonestyExplorationBenefits/advantages to being mixed-race:Can function in both majority and minority environmentsTips for Raising a Mixed-Race ChildSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: For three months now, we've been fostering our 17-year-old son, with the intention of adopting. My question is regarding attachment. How can you tell if the child is setting up boundaries or testing you to see how hard you'll pursue/run after them?Resources:Creating and Cultivating Attachment (Resource page)Helping a Child Heal from Trauma (Resource page)Transitioning a Child to Your Home (Resource page)Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are you a professional working with kinship caregivers? You need to listen to this interview with Dr. Tyreasa Washington, is a nationally and internationally recognized scholar specializing in kinship care families (e.g., grandparents raising grandchildren). She is a Distinguished Senior Scholar for Child Welfare at Child Trends, the leading research organization in the United States focused solely on improving the lives of children, youth, and families.In this episode, we discuss:Advantages of keeping children with extended family when their parents are not able to raise them.How do kids who are raised temporarily or permanently by relatives fare compared to kids placed with unknown foster parents?One of the biggest questions we receive from professionals is how to engage kinship caregivers. They tell us that they set up programs to support kinship caregivers, but few show up. This seems universal. Why does this happen?We also hear about institutional trauma-(law enforcement struggles/foster care system struggles- leads to lack of trust--not feeling safe in their community, not trusting DSS.) How does this impact kinship caregivers? How does it impact those of us trying to serve them?What types of support are the most helpful?What are some cultural differences you've observed in Black relatives raising children within the family, and how do these differences impact how professionals interact with kin raising children?What have you found in your research on the impact of caregiving on the health of kinship caregivers?Need for training for kinship caregivers.How can professionals support self-care with folks who are so busy just getting by?Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: How can prospective parents manage their thoughts and emotions while waiting to be matched with a child (especially in cases where the waiting period is a long one)?Resources:Suggested Books for AdoptionCoping Mechanisms for the Waiting (Article)Creating a Family Online Support GroupSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are you considering adopting from foster care or becoming a foster parent? Join us to discuss this topic with Dr. Lindsay Terrell, a pediatrician and Assistant Professor in the Department of Pediatrics at Duke University Medical Center, as well as the Clinical Director of their Foster Care Clinic. She and her husband are licensed foster parents.In this episode, we discuss:The common risk factors that foster parents and those wanting to adopt from foster care need to be aware of include physical, emotional, developmental, educational, and behavioral problems rooted in childhood adversity and trauma. What types of trauma are foster kids exposed to? What percentage of children in foster care have been exposed to drugs or alcohol prenatally? Creating a Family's Prenatal Substance Exposure Workshop for ParentsImpact of trauma on physical health.Foster parents and caseworkers often have little information about prior health history.Other common physical health issues that are common in kids in foster care that are not necessarily connected to trauma.Impact of trauma on mental health.Those areas of the brain most affected by trauma, especially early trauma, are those involved in stress response, emotional regulation, attention, cognition, executive function, and memory. What types of behaviors are common as a result of trauma?Medication and over-medication of foster children and youth.Research has found that the average number of psychiatric diagnoses and psychotropic medications prescribed were significantly greater for youth and children in foster care.Children in foster care are likely to be kept on them longer than other Medicaid-enrolled children who are not in foster care.What are psychotropic drugs, and why are they so often prescribed for children in foster care?Who has the authority to make healthcare decisions for foster children and youth?Sleep issues common to children in foster care.Food issues common to children in foster care. Impact of trauma on a foster child's education.Children in foster care need educational advocates.Risk factors to consider for children already in the home. Children can heal, and foster parents can make a difference!Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: On the 2025 Adoption Tax Credit Episode, it was mentioned that they thought this would possibly be the year it becomes refundable. Does that only apply to finalizations in 2025, or will it make previous adoptions (if within the 5-year tax credit range) refundable too? For example, an adoption finalized in 2023 but we haven't used all of the tax credit available. Does the remaining amount become refundable, too? ~Oklahoma City, OKResources:Understanding the Adoption Tax CreditAdoptionTaxCredit.orgJosh Kroll, Families Rising (joshk@wearefamiliesrising.org)Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are you considering fostering but are concerned about how it impacts the kids already living in your home? Join us for a conversation with Michelle Snyder, a foster, adoptive, and bio mom, and her son, Ben, to hear their stories of fostering and how it impacted their family. They are co-authors of Beyond Blood: How Being a Foster Brother Shattered My World and Rebuilt It.In this episode, we discuss:Ben - How old were you when your parents sat you down to talk about fostering?Do you remember how it felt to consider that a child could not safely live with his or her family?What do you remember about the time when your family was preparing, taking classes, getting licensed, etc.?Michelle - When you and your husband felt the desire to begin fostering, what were your biggest concerns?What considerations about fostering gave you pause, considering you had two young kids already in your home?How did you and your husband handle those concerns or issues?Ben - Can you briefly share the story of your family's first placement? We'd love to also hear how you think it impacted you and what you took from that experience for the coming placements. Ben - What are some of the benefits or advantages you have seen in your development to young adulthood that you can directly trace to being part of this fostering and adoption journey?Character traits your family developed as you faced those challenges. Can you share a short example for a couple of them?Compassion PerseveranceAbility to Adapt/ChangePerspectiveBen's diagnoses (“twice exceptional”):What did you learn about yourself in that process?How do you feel your unique combination of diagnoses equipped you well for being a foster brother? Saying no to a placementLearning how to say no when you know it's not the right time or circumstance to say yes to a foster placement? How did you develop that skill?Ben, what did you learn from your parents over the years about the value of knowing when to say yes, and when it's okay to say no?The value of respite for your family and offering it to other foster familiesWhat practical tips can families implement to prepare for a new placement of a foster, newly adopted, or relative child in their home?Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: How do I respond in the moment when my child is melting down, including physical or verbal aggression? Resources:Practical Tips to Help Your Kids Manage StressThe Ideal Response: How to Maintain Connection When Correcting Your ChildHow to Maintain Connection When Your Child Struggles with AngerSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Have you thought about adopting a baby, but long for the experience of being pregnant, or want to control the intrauterine environment? Join us for this fascinating discussion about embryo donation/adoption with Dr. Craig Sweet with Embryo Donation International, Mark Mellinger with the National Embryo Donation Center, and Beth Button with the Snowflakes Embryo Adoption Program.In this episode, we discuss:The IVF process.Remaining embryos.Donating to another person.How to find embryos available for donation?What is the medical process of embryo donation/embryo adoption?What is the success rate of having a baby through a donated embryo? What factors influence the success rate?What percentage of donated embryos are created via donor egg or sperm?What information is available about the embryos and the donors?Can you have twins via embryo donation if that is your preference?Does it matter how long they've been frozen?Are pregnancies conceived through donated embryos considered high-risk?Are there long-term health risks for children conceived via frozen embryos?What is the legal process for embryo donation/embryo adoption? Academy of Adoption & Assisted Reproduction AttorneysIs there a matching process? Do you have a choice regarding what embryos you receive?Do the people who donate the embryo continue to have a legal connection to the child? Do they have legal rights to see the child, contact the child, or take the child back?Openness after the birth? What is the relationship between the embryo donor and the person who receives the embryo and the child conceived? Is the contact information shared between both parties?How much does embryo donation/embryo adoption cost?What factors influence the cost?Can you use your local infertility clinic to perform the transfer?LGBTQ+ and single parentsWhat should you consider when choosing a clinic or organization to facilitate embryo donation/ adoption?How to talk with children conceived through embryo donation/embryo adoption about their conception?Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: Is it important to keep a young child or baby's birth-given name? How often, if ever, do expectant mothers let adopting parents name the baby in private adoptions? Resources:Understanding the Birth Parent's ExperienceOpen AdoptionCreating a Family Online Facebook Support GroupSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Do you want to raise kids who you will like and want to hang out with as adults? Listen to this interview with Dr. Ginsburg, a pediatrician at Children's Hospital of Philadelphia and professor of pediatrics at U Penn's Perelman School of Medicine. He is the author of Lighthouse Parenting: Raising Your Child With Loving Guidance for a Lifelong Bond, and the founder of the Center for Parent and Teen Communication.In this episode, we discuss:Definition of Lighthouse Parenting (7 key elements):StabilityModeling & KnowingCommunicatingProtectingResilience & ThrivingPreparationReliabilityBenefits of Lighthouse/Balanced ParentingMisunderstanding of attachment/trauma-sensitive parenting as permissive parenting.Self-care as the foundation of Lighthouse Parenting, “Stability: Finding Your Footing.” Why start there? Why is self-care critical to being a balanced parent?6 key elements of self-care and examples of how each might look for parents and caregivers who feel they cannot prioritize self-care:Love and friendshipsSleepExercise/MovementRelaxation strategiesExpress emotionsRecognize and reach for supportOffer 1 or 2 practical tips for parenting with this lifelong bond in mind for parents with: Elementary-aged kidsTweens and teensYoung adults (college or early career age)Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: My husband and I started the adoption process a few months ago and we just matched with an expectant mom. We are obviously excited, but we also know that a lot can happen or change between now and her due date. My question is two fold. (1) Although a lot of people in our life know we are going through the adoption process, who should we tell beyond our immediate families? (2) I am a small business owner. Since we are adopting a baby from another state, I am expecting to be out for at least a couple of weeks and then back at work on a limited schedule as my husband and I share caretaking duties. Internally, my team is already aware and on board with when this will happen, and they will handle client requests on my behalf while I am out. But at what point is it appropriate to share with my clients that this change is taking place? Resources:Failed Adoption Matches: How Common? How Costly? How to SurviveSigns that an Expectant Woman May Change Her Mind about Placing Her Child for AdoptionTips for Coping When Your Domestic Infant Adoption is On HoldSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Do you suspect (or know) that your child was exposed to alcohol or drugs during pregnancy? We discuss tips for how to best work with these children with Dr. Robin Gurwitch, a professor at Duke University's Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences and the Center for Child and Family Health.In this episode, we discuss:How does prenatal exposure to alcohol or drugs affect children at different ages?Oftentimes adoptive, foster and kinship families may not know specifically if their child was exposed in pregnancy to alcohol or drugs? How can a parent determine if their child was prenatally exposed?What are some of the more common signs, symptoms, and behaviors a parent might see at different ages?Birth to age fiveElementary ageTweens and adolescenceYoung adultsParents, teachers, and other adults working with these children often don't think about prenatal exposure because of the lag in time between the exposure and when the more disruptive symptoms appear. At what age do you see parents and kids beginning to struggle more?What are some of the common misdiagnoses that these children receive?How do the attention and focus issues common with kids who have been exposed to alcohol and drugs differ from ADHD? Is ADHD medication effective to improve attention in prenatally exposed kids?Is it common for children with prenatal exposure to be uneven in their abilities? For example, average to above average in verbal skills but substantially below average in other areas.What do we mean by “executive function” or “higher level thinking skills” and how does prenatal exposure to alcohol and drugs impact this?We hear from parents that one of the most frustrating symptoms is not being able to learn from their mistakes. Doing the same thing even though they have been told not to. Not learning from cause and effect. Is this common with kids who have been exposed to alcohol and drugs during gestation?What are some practical tips for working with kids with prenatal exposure to help them thrive at home and at school?Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: Hello, I am a single parent by choice and a hopeful adoptive parent. I've been working with an agency and waiting to be matched for a domestic infant adoption since this summer, and I haven't had much luck. I'm starting to wonder if expectant parents think single parents are not a good choice for their baby. In my profile book, I emphasize my financial stability and support of a network of family and friends, but is that enough? In your experience, do single parents have a harder time being matched? What are the things I should consider as a single parent when trying to match with an expectant parent?Resources:Adopting as a Single ParentUnderstanding the Birth Parent's ExperienceSelf-Care for Parents & CaregiversSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are you considering adopting or fostering a child who was exposed prenatally to opioids or opioid-use treatment medication, such as Buprenorphine, methadone, and Suboxone? Are you a grandparent or aunt raising a child who was exposed? Join our discussion with Dr. Jennifer McAllister, the Medical Director of the NOWS Follow-Up Clinic at Cincinnati Children's Hospital Medical Center and the Medical Director of the University of Cincinnati Newborn Nursery.In this episode, we discuss:Terminology: What is the difference between opiates and opioids?What are the most common opioids being abused?What are the common treatment medications/drugs given to those with opioid use disorder? What are the brand names for these medications?How do these medications work?Are substance-use medications safe to use during pregnancy?What are the short- and long-term impacts on infants exposed to opioids?What are the short- and long-term impacts of infants exposed to opioid-use medications in pregnancy? Do the impacts differ?Does the dosage of opioid-use medications change the impact they have on the baby?What are the short- and long-term impacts of infants exposed to fentanyl in pregnancy?Is there a safer time for a fetus to be exposed to opioids or opioid-use medications in utero?Is it true that if the child is not born experiencing signs of withdrawal or with drugs in their system, the prognosis is better? Or conversely, if the child is born dependent and has to go through withdrawals, they will suffer more impact from in-utero drug exposure?How dangerous is drug dependency and withdrawal for the infant?How are Neonatal Abstinence Syndrome (NAS) and Neonatal Opioid Withdrawal Syndrome (NOWS) treated in babies?If a mom is taking opioid-use medications during her pregnancy, is it recommended that she breastfeed the infant to help with withdrawal? How long does withdrawal in an infant born dependent last?How do you foster attachment while the baby is experiencing withdrawal?You often hear that “early intervention is key” and that a baby's brain can be rewired during the first couple of years with the right treatments or therapy. What exactly does that therapy entail? What strategies should you be using at home with your child with a diagnosis of prenatal drug exposure?When a child has drug exposure and trauma, is it possible to tell the difference in what is causing specific problems, and is the treatment different depending on the cause?Are children who are exposed prenatally to any drug, but specifically to opioids, at a greater risk for substance abuse disorder as teens and adults if they were adopted and not raised in an environment that exposed them to drug use?What are the most common blood-borne diseases that women who have IV drug use?What is the risk to a baby whose mother has HIV or Hepatitis C?Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: Can you talk about how being transracially adopted effects how adoptee's children were raised? Both of my parents were transracially adopted and I don't feel like there's anyone else who can share this unique experience and I just want to understand better.Resources:Generational Impacts of AdoptionRaising a Child Through Transracial Adoption (Resource page)Suggested Books for Adults on Transracial AdoptionSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Do your kids fight? Does it drive you crazy. Join us to learn some helpful tips for handling sibling rivalry and fighting. Our guest is Dr. Laura Markham, a clinical psychologist and author of several books, including Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids and Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings: How To Stop the Fighting and Raise Friends for Life.In this episode, we discuss:Why do siblings squabble?How is sibling rivalry and sibling fighting a good thing for our kids?How to teach sharing?What are the warning signs that a sibling fight has gone beyond a useful tool for developing those skills? When do we step in to stop sibling squabbles?What's an effective way for parents to step into these sibling fights? How to handle rivalry based on one child thinking you favor the other?What about verbal aggression, name-calling, etc? A struggle common to kids impacted by trauma is a delay in emotional and social skill development. Identifying and managing internal discomfort can be challenging for our kids. Or all feelings are disproportionate to their situation (both bigger and smaller or shut down). Can you speak to what helps kids develop these skills outside the moments of conflict?What practical strategies can you offer to help parents cultivate satisfying, loving relationships between siblings? Would you offer a word about self-care for parents raising kids who fight all the time?Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question:  I wish I had known what to expect when a child with trauma hit the teen years. Maybe a book suggestion of what to expect or resources on what may show up and how to handle it. Puberty and the teen years have hit our family HARD. I also notice other families with adopted children going through the same or similar things. ~Rebecca from KansasResources:Therapy Resources for Adoptive, Foster, and Kinship FamiliesCenter for Parent and Teen CommunicationParenting in the Eye of the Storm: The Adoptive Parent's Guide to Navigating the Teen YearsSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Why is kinship care important, and what are some of the challenges? Our guests are Gregory Jones, a granddad raising five grandkids from birth to now ranging in age from 9 to 12; Ana Beltran, an attorney, and director of the Grandfamilies & Kinship Support Network: A National Technical Assistance Center; and Erica Burgess, a social worker with over 25 years of experience in child welfare, specializing in kinship care.In this episode, we discuss:How common is kinship care throughout the US—both formal (child welfare involved) and informal?Grandparents raising grandkids or aunts and uncles raising nephews and nieces is often complicated and comes with a mix of challenges and blessings.What are some of the blessings?What are some of the challenges? Managing the relationship between the caregiver and the parents.What are some common challenges in this relationship?What are some common boundaries that need to be set in kinship care?Lack of preparation and training for raising kids who have experienced trauma, neglect, prenatal exposure to alcohol or drugs, etc.Lack of financial support.How can social workers and child welfare professionals make sure that kinship caregivers get the full extent of financial support?Access to resources. What are some typical resources that kinship caregivers should ask about and that child welfare agencies should consider providing?We see a significant variance between jurisdictions in social workers and child welfare professionals in the embrace of placing children with relatives.Why are some social workers hesitant to place kids with relatives?From an ethical perspective, why must social workers open their minds to looking for kin first when removing a child from their parents?Placing children with kin rather than the state taking custody. (Hidden foster care/kinship diversion)Legal considerationsEthical considerations with the hidden foster.Great resources:Grandfamilies & Kinship Support Network: A National Technical Assistance Center Grandfacts: State Fact Sheets for Grandparents and Other Relatives Raising ChildrenNCKinshipFamilies.org - Legal Permanency Options for NC Kinship Families websiteFree Kinship Legal Clinic Kinship Caregivers and the Child Welfare Systemhttps://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/f-kinshi/Online Kinship Support Group - email tracy@creatingafamily.orgSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: My husband and I are in the process of growing our family through adoption. It would be a domestic infant adoption, and we are hoping to cultivate a long-term relationship with the future baby's birth family. I noticed that whenever I feel hesitation when thinking about openness, I can bring myself back down to earth by recognizing that any hesitation results from making things about ME, not the baby or birth family. The one question I can't seem to navigate on my own is this...what do adopted children call their birth mothers? How do I, as a future adoptive mom, refer to the baby's birth mom? I want to respect the baby and birth mom; any insight on how families handle this would be so helpful! Resources:What Does Your Child Call Her Birth Mother?5 Tips for Navigating Sticky Situations with Birth ParentsPositive Adoption Language & Why It Matters Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are your child's birth parents struggling with addiction, mental illness, or intellectual disability? If so, join us for this discussion with Teresa Bradley, a psychotherapist with over 17 years of experience in addiction counseling and mental health. She is a Master Addiction Counselor, Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapist, and clinical trainer at Amerigroup.In this episode, we discuss:Substance Abuse DisordersWhat are some of the challenges that adoptive or foster parents might expect to see when a birth parent is struggling with a substance abuse disorder (SAD) and not able to raise this child?How are those issues different for relative caregivers, like grandparents raising grandchildren? At what age should we start talking to the kids in our care about their parents' challenges with substance abuse? How do we bring it up? How do we decide what to share and when?How can parents address that emotional fallout and deal with their own expectations, triggers, or negative feelings about the birth parents' SAD?For relative caregivers, especially grandparents raising grandchildren, adding layers of guilt, shame, and disappointment.How might an open adoption relationship change across a birth parents' journey through SAD? How should adoptive parents approach openness in their adoption when SAD is a known issue?What do you suggest parents or relatives do to process their feelings? Mental Health Challenges or Intellectual DisabilitiesWhat are some of the specific challenges that adoptive or foster parents might expect when they are trying to support a child of parents with mental illness or intellectual difficulties?How can parents explain a birth parent's challenges to children? When? How?What are some of the questions kids might have but cannot voice?  How do we address a child's concern that they will “get” this mental illness without scaring the child?Is this a good reason to limit contact with birth parents?How might an adoptive or foster parent talk to children and youth about the birth parents' ability to connect or maintain a relationship? When a kinship caregiver has a pre-existing relationship with this birth parent, how do they talk about the challenges and how their relationship changes in light of their struggles? What other issues do we need to consider to maintain a relationship with the birth parents while keeping the child safe and feeling cherished and supported?Resources:How Do You Manage Relationships with Birth Parents with Substance Use Disorders? Open AdoptionSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.I have been listening to your podcast and supporting your mission for several years. We adopted our daughter at birth through an open adoption. We began caring for her on day two; she is now 9 years old. She knows she is adopted and has seen photos of her biological parents. Her parents had problems with addiction and the law. We only tell her, “They were not able to care for you.” She has not yet asked questions about her biological parents, but she does opine about being an only child. We have not yet told her about her full biological brother, the full brother who died from neglect as an infant, her five half-sisters, her biological grandmother, or that her biological father died a few years ago, having “fallen” off a bridge. She will obviously know everything eventually, but we are concerned about when and how to tell her. Resources:How to Find an Adoption Competent Therapist - resource pageTalking About the Difficult Parts of Your Child's History - online courseBuilding the Framework for Adopted & Foster Children to Process the Hard Parts of Their Stories - articleTalking about the Difficult Parts of Your Adopted Child's History - older podcast interviewSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are you considering adopting a sibling group? Join us for this interview with Deborah Bass Artis, MSW and Senior Program Director of Foster Care to Permanency with Children's Home Society of NC.In this episode, we discuss:Why is it important to keep siblings together when placed for foster care or adoption?Advantages to adopting siblings.Special issues to considerThinking About Adopting a Sibling Group? Things to Consider FirstPractical Tips for Fostering a Sibling GroupIntegrating siblings with children already in the familyInvolve children already in the familyGet your support network in place before you adopt Suggested books for helping siblings understand adoption. Parentified childTips for handling a parentified child. Parenting Tips for a Parentified ChildOvercoming unhealthy dynamics from their pastOne child was the favorite in their previous family or families.Sibling rivalry When is it not a good idea to keep siblings together?Consider your motivation carefully- be honest with yourself and your partner about your desire to adopt a sibling group. Tips for parents adopting or fostering a sibling group Educate yourself before opening your home to a sibling group- it always helps to have realistic expectationsBe patient with yourselves and the children- it's a big adjustment for everyone.Develop your support system ahead of time.Take care of yourself. Spending time on things that are important to you is not selfish!If married, ensure your marriage/partnership remains strong- it is the foundation of your family's health.If single, maintain your friendships. You need to have a life outside of your children.Find individual time with each child in the family Pay attention to each child's interests and personality and create opportunities for those to grow. Don't treat the sibling group as a unit.Seek out professional support for the family when needed.Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: I have a daughter who has dealt with trauma from consistent experiences of neglect and abandonment. While our home is loving and supportive, she continues to exhibit a victim mentality and has a hard time taking responsibility for her actions. She's a sweet girl, but she makes comments to others that insinuate she is not having her most basic needs met, which is simply not the case. How can we help her, and how should we be responding to her self-victimization? Resources:Creating a Family Online Facebook Support GroupHelping a Child Heal from TraumaSelf-Care for Foster ParentsSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are you really struggling with your adoption and feeling you've made a huge mistake? Listen to this interview with Lindsay Lanham, MSW. She works at Holt International and is the author of the online article “Predictors of Adoption Disruption and Dissolution: A Literature Review.”In this episode, we cover:Difference between an adoption disruption and adoption dissolution. What causes an adoption to fail? What causes parents to say: “Help, I don't think I can continue this adoption?”Child-related factors:Child's ageChild's behavior Aggression or children who sexually act outAre sibling placements more stable?Adoptive parent-related factors:Demographic characteristics? (age, marital status, parenting experience, income, race)Parental expectationsParenting styleRelationship prior to the adoptive placementCharacteristics of parents in successful adoptionsAdoption professional-related factors:Identify problems quickly and provide supportHow to address children who have experienced sexual abuse. “It is recommended that social workers universally prepare families for behaviors associated with sexual abuse trauma and the possible impact of sexual abuse. Adoptive families should have the language necessary to speak about child sexual abuse and know how to access supportive resources in their community, such as child advocacy centers, prior to placement.”What should parents do when they realize that the adoption isn't going as they had hoped/planned?Identify the problem quickly and get support.Reset expectationsSelf-careGet helpWhat should parents do if they are reaching the point where they want to dissolve an adoption?Resource: Predictors of Adoption Disruption and Dissolution: A Literature Review Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: I've been an adoption social worker for almost seven years and just experienced my 2nd situation where the birth mother in a match had a stillbirth after selecting a family through our agency. Both situations were such a difficult loss for both parties. I'm curious if you've heard of others who experienced this unusually tragic type of loss during adoption. I'm not sure how common it is, especially given the rate of stillbirths is 1 in 175 births in the U.S. How can adoption professionals (on the adoptive parent AND birth parent side) best walk through such a situation with their clients? Resources:Creating a Family Online Support GroupHow can you deal with your feelings of grief after a stillbirth? (March of Dimes)Stillbirth: Surviving Emotionally (American Pregnancy Association)Find a Local Chapter - The Compassionate FriendsSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are you thinking about adopting a baby? Are you worried about what risk factors exist that you should know about? Join us to talk about these issues with Dr. Lindsay Terrell, a pediatrician at Duke University Medical Center and an Assistant Professor in their Department of Pediatrics. And James Fletcher Thompson, a South Carolina attorney with extensive experience in adoption. In this episode, we discuss:Lack of prenatal care.What is covered in prenatal care and how might a lack of prenatal care impact a baby?PrematurityWhat causes a premature birth?Prenatal exposureAlcoholWhat are some red flags that a mom might have abused alcohol during her pregnancy?Does the degree of impact differ depending on when in the pregnancy alcohol was consumed?What are the long- and short-term impacts of alcohol consumption on a child exposed prenatally?Creating a Family's Prenatal Substance Exposure Workshop for ParentsOpioids List of opioid drugs in increasing degree of strengthCodeine.Hydrocodone (Vicodin, Hycodan)Morphine (MS Contin, Kadian)Oxycodone (Oxycontin, Percoset)Hydromorphone (Dilaudid)HeroinFentanyl (Duragesic)Methadone, SuboxoneDoes the degree of impact differ depending on when in the pregnancy the opioid was used?Does the degree of long-term impact differ depending on whether the baby was born dependent or with a diagnosis of Neonatal Abstinence Syndrome (NAS) or Neonatal Opioid Withdrawal Syndrome (NOWS)?What are the long- and short-term impacts of opioid exposure on a child exposed prenatally?CocaineMarijuanaMethamphetamine Polysubstance abuse Creating a Family has extensive resources to help parent a child exposed to opioids prenatally. Sexually Transmitted InfectionsWhat are the common STIs? What are the risks of each of them to the unborn child or newly born child?Mental Health IssuesWhat is the genetic connection for the following mental health disorders? How heritable are these mental illnesses?Anxiety disorders, including panic disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and phobias. Mood disorders: Depression, bipolar disorder Personality disorders (antisocial, borderline, narcissistic)Psychotic disorders, including schizophreniaADHDLegal Risk FactorsWhat are the most common legal risk factors when adopting an infant through private adoption?Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: I've been listening to your podcast for a few years! Our 10-year-old kinship adopted daughter has lived with us since she was 2 months old. For a variety of reasons, there hasn't been any in-person visits or phone calls with her birth mom (my sister). Communication has been limited to holiday/birthday cards and gifts.  My sister has schizophrenia and bipolar disorders. Because she has been stable on her medications and her behaviors are typically within a somewhat 'predictable' range, we're thinking it's time to begin an in-person relationship.  We're planning on writing a letter to my sister to tell her our thoughts on all of this and establish some ground rules and boundaries. After she has some time to digest that letter, my wife and I plan to meet with her in person (without our daughter) to firm up plans, expectations, etc.  My questions are:What are some generally good boundaries to set up? How can we help prepare my sister for potentially tough questions from our daughter? (My sister is in denial that anything is wrong with her.) How can we prepare our daughter for all of this? How can we do this in a way that doesn't feel like we're wagging our finger at my sister and being 'above her'?  Resources:Working with Birth Parents for the Child's Best Interest (Resource page)Evaluating Risk Factors in Adoption (Resource page)Finding an Adoption-Competent Therapist (Resource page)Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.How do some kids survive a life of poverty, homelessness, abuse, and foster care and eventually thrive? We talk about courage & resilience with David Ambroz who is a national poverty and child welfare expert and advocate and the author of the memoir, A Place Called Home. He was recognized by President Obama as an American Champion of Change. Currently serving as the Head of Community Engagement (West) for Amazon, Ambroz previously led Corporate Social Responsibility for Walt Disney Television, and has served as president of the Los Angeles City Planning Commission as well as a California Child Welfare Council member. After growing up homeless and then in foster care, he graduated from Vassar College and later earned his J.D. from UCLA School of Law. He is a foster dad and lives in Los Angeles, CA.In this episode, we discuss:Poverty and Homelessness:His story.SchoolWhat made a difference?What should adults who encounter or work with homeless children/youth know?Foster Care:His story.Youth who identify as LGBTQ+ are overrepresented in foster care (Human Rights Campaign, 2015). While approximately 5 percent of the general population is estimated to be LGBTQ+, studies estimate that about 30 percent of youth in foster care identify as LGBTQ+. Why are these young people over represented in child welfare? LGBTQ+ youth are 1.5 -2 times more likely to have a foster placement failure.What would you want foster parents to know?What made the difference in your eventually succeeding? (Going to Vassar and UCLA Law School.)The lack of available treatments for mental illness.Why did you become a foster parent?Why did you title the book “A Place Called Home?”Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: This was a question from someone in South Dakota. She says, "I haven't listened to all your back episodes, but can you address ICWA, the Indian Child Welfare Act, as it pertains to adoption? I live in a state where the majority of children in foster care are Native Americans, and ICWA, the Indian Child Welfare Act, is confusing and divisive. At the end of the day, I just want the children I care for to be safe. I understand the reason for the law, but I hate when the comments on an ICWA story about adoption accuse foster care providers of kidnapping.Resources:Indian Child Welfare Law Center - ICWLC.orgChild Welfare Information Gateway - Info on ICWASupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are you considering adopting a baby? To understand what is involved legally, listen to this podcast with James Fletcher Thompson, a South Carolina attorney with extensive experience in adoption. In this episode, we discuss:What are some of the differences in domestic infant adoption? Agency and independent (direct placement) adoptions.Relative adoptions. (grandparents, aunt/uncles, step-parent).Infants or young children adopted from foster care.In-state and interstate adoptions.Adoptions governed by the federal Indian Child Welfare Act.Adoption is governed by state lawDo the adoptive parents have to comply with the laws of the state where the expectant parent resides, where the baby is born, or where they reside?How do federal laws affect adoption?How does the Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children affect adoption?What are some of the reasons parents make an adoption plan for their child?Some of the legal issues in adoption from the birth parents' perspective.Voluntary vs involuntary relinquishment or termination of parental rightsWhen can an expectant mother voluntarily relinquish her parental rights?When can an expectant father voluntarily relinquish his parental rights?Do the expectant parents have to have their own legal representations?What if the expectant parent is a minor?How long after they sign the papers do the birth parents have to change their mind?Do they have to have a reason to change their mind?What happens if the expectant mom cannot or will not identify the baby's father?Is counseling important?Some of the legal issues in adoption from the adoptive parents' perspective.The home study/background check requirement.Can work with an adoption agency or an adoption attorney.What is the process if the agency/attorney finds the expectant parent who is considering placing her baby for adoption?What is the process if the prospective adoptive parent finds the expectant parent?Can adoptive parents “advertise” to find expectant mothers who are considering placing their baby for adoption?What is a legal risk adoption?What rights do the adoptive parents have before the expectant parents relinquish their rights?What are some factors that affect the cost of adoption?In-state vs. interstateExpectant mother supportExpectant father identification and cooperation.Indian Child Welfare ActBiological father in active military servicePre-Birth/Pre-Placement ProcessMay be able to meet in person to get to know one another.How much information is exchanged about both the expectant parents and adoptive parents? Medical history, finances, etc.How can adoptive parents know if they are being given all the informatioSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: My husband and I have two adopted twin boys who are 8 months old, and we've had them since birth. We've been on the fence for years about a big move outside of the country, but we're currently leaning towards leaving. My husband and, by extension, our kids have dual nationality with the country we'd go to. Thankfully, I'm also allowed to tag along.We currently live near a large family and support network from both sides of the family and would be mostly on our own except for a few distant relatives after the move. We are also close and in frequent contact with our sons' birth family, but they don't live near us so that relationship has always been planned to be a mostly long-distance relationship.We would plan on setting aside funds just for visiting our family and our birth family every one or two years, but ultimately all our children's family relationships will become long-distance. We worry about the move exacerbating feelings of abandonment or isolation from all sides of their family as they'd not only be raised in another culture but another language and continent. We all come from similar cultural backgrounds, so we aren't too worried about being able to keep them in touch with their birth culture. But we want to be sensitive to their particular needs as to how this could affect them as adoptees.Is there any research on how adoptees are affected by being adopted into larger vs smaller families? Or adoptees who move abroad or are adopted into immigrant families? Or is there some advice to be gleaned from families adopting internationally that would apply to our situation?Our children are our highest priority, and we want to set them up for success whether or not we move.Resources:Open Adoption (Resource)Self-Care for Parents & Caregivers (Resource)Creating a Family Online Support Group (Facebook)Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are you considering adopting a child over the age of 5? Join our discussion with Dr. Stephanie Bosco-Ruggiero. She has a PhD in Social Work from Fordham University and is co-author of the book Adopting Older Children: A Practical Guide to Adopting and Parenting Children Over Age Four.In this episode, we talk about:The greatest need in both foster care adoption and international adoption is to adopt kids 5 and older.  Adolescents have a bad reputation in general in our society and those in foster care or international child welfare institutions have an even worse reputation. These kids and youth may have challenging behaviors that will be hard to parent. (They also may not have challenging behaviors.)Why have they developed these behaviors? (grief and loss, trauma, mental health)What are some typical behaviors that are more difficult for parents?Tips for creating trust and attachment with older children. How to prevent these behaviors from influencing other kids in the family?     Special issues specific to older kids adopted internationally.Lack of ability to communicate. Cultural differences. Safety concerns, especially if there are younger children in the family. Sexually acting out. Physical abuse.Sibling relationships when adopting an older child.Contact with bio family members and former foster parentsTrying to establish rules with teens/tweens who have had too much freedom. Helping kids academically. Neuropsychological evaluations, IEPs,Support for adoptive familiesSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: My father-in-law was just diagnosed with terminal cancer and given a maximum of 6 months left to live. We learned this right before our home study for older child/foster care adoption was finalized. Do you have any advice for what we should do with our adoption process moving forward? I am worried if we match before my husband is done grieving, we could add additional trauma to the child, but there is no set timeline for grieving. How do we deal with our loss while helping a child get through their loss? Resources:Creating a Family Online Support Group (Facebook)Transitioning a Child to Your Home (Resource Page)Helping a Child Heal from Trauma (Resource Page)Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are you considering adopting or fostering a child with Down Syndrome? Join our conversation with Dr. Sara Williams, a developmental-behavioral pediatrician at Cincinnati Children's Hospital Medical Center. She provides developmental evaluations and follow-up care for children with a variety of neurodevelopmental disabilities, including in the Thomas Center for Down Syndrome.In this episode, we discuss:What is Down syndrome?How common is it?What are the different types of Down syndrome? Is genetic testing routinely done when Down syndrome is suspected?What are some of the common physical traits of a person with Down syndrome? What are the common developmental disabilities caused by this disorder?What are the common intellectual disabilities caused by this disorder?Is there a way to know in advance how intellectually impacted a child may be? Do the symptoms differ depending on the type of Down syndrome the child has? What are the common mental health issues that people with this disorder may exhibit?What are some ways to determine the degree of impact if you adopt a child past infancy? Interventions that can help.How do these kids fit within the school system? What is the school system required to do?What are the common medical conditions that may accompany trisomy 21?What is the life expectancy of a person with Down syndrome?Is there a medical specialty that those considering adopting or fostering a child with Down syndrome should seek out?What are some common mental health issues and behavioral issues that may be more common in people with Down syndrome?How to find mental health and behavioral treatment for children and adults with Down syndrome?How does trauma interact with Down syndrome?Is attachment difficult for kids with Down syndrome who have experienced trauma?Are people with Down syndrome able to live independently in adulthood?What makes a difference in the prognosis for children with Down syndrome? Why should people consider adopting or fostering a child with Down syndrome?Resources:National Down Syndrome Society (list of specialized centers)Global Down Syndrome Reece's Rainbow National Down Syndrome Adoption Network Project Search Understanding Down Syndrome American Academy of Pediatrics Clinical Report: Health Supervision for Children With Down SyndromeSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: My 4-year-old foster son moved in 9 months ago. He will likely remain with me permanently, and the application is in progress. I was his 5th foster home when he moved in. There was neglect at his birth parents and abuse in a previous foster home. Last weekend he was being babysat by my sister and brother-in-law. They went to the basement to show him a toy, and he saw a large dog cage they were planning to sell online. He was immediately triggered, ran upstairs, hid under the pillows in a bed, and it took 10 minutes to feel safe. He was obviously placed in a dog cage at some point. How do I support him, talk to him about what happened, and make him feel safe? How should I support him and help him calm his nervous system if he is triggered again? Resources:A Conversation with Dr. Bruce Perry About Trauma6 Crucial Things Every Adoptive Parent Must DoUsing Scripts to Build Trust with Foster & Adopted KidsSuggested Book List - Kids Who Have Experienced TraumaSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Join our panel of four former foster youth to learn what they wished foster parents and others knew about being in foster care.In this episode, we discuss:Tell us the story of your involvement with foster care and the child welfare system.What was something that your foster parent(s) did that helped you cope?What did your foster parents do that made things harder for you?What are some of the myths that you hear about kids in foster care?If listeners are considering becoming foster parents, what should they consider to help them decide if they are the right fit to be foster parents?Resources:The Faces of Foster Care Volume 1, 2, and 3 Resources - Dave ArmstrongWhy Me My Fight For Life (Book)From Gangs To Greece (Book)www.SenseiDave.com (Speaking page)www.upna.net (Coaching/Mentoring)Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: First, I wanted to thank you for your incredible podcast. I'm not a parent (I only recently graduated from college), but I have volunteered in group homes for foster care children for the past couple of years. Your podcast has not only helped me to work more effectively with the kids I see but has also given me insight into what I want to do in my career. I hope to research and work with families involved with the foster care system in the future, and your podcast has allowed me to learn from so many interesting and diverse perspectives. My question is: how do you balance giving children who have experienced trauma both a sense of control and structure? From the kids I've worked with, I've noticed that many of them tend to act out the most when they feel like they don't have control. This makes sense to me, as I imagine almost all kids in foster care have had a severe lack of control in their lives. However, I've also heard that kids who have experienced trauma benefit from having a strict structure in their lives. These two ideas seem somewhat antithetical to each other, but both seem important. How do you recommend parents and practitioners give children both a sense of control over their lives and provide them with structure so they have a sense of safety? Thank you again for your wonderful podcast, it truly has made such a difference in how I think about the foster care system. I look forward to listening to your podcast every week. Resources:Free E-Guide: Parenting a Child Exposed to TraumaHelping a Child Heal from TraumaParenting Kids with Challenging BehaviorRaising Foster ChildrenSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.If you are adopting or have adopted within the last several years you should join our conversation today about claiming the Adoption Tax Credit for 2024. Our guests will be Becky Wilmoth, an Enrolled Agent and Adoption Tax Credit Specialist with Bill's Tax Service; and Josh Kroll, the Adoption Subsidy Resource Center coordinator at Families Rising.In this episode, we cover:What is the Adoption Tax Credit for adoption being claimed on 2024 federal taxes? What is a “credit,” and how does it differ from a deduction or tax savings?How would you use the Adoption Tax Credit if you get a tax refund every year?Should you still apply the credit to your federal income taxes if you don't have any federal tax liability?What types of adoptions are included or excluded? Are kinship adoptions covered? Are kinship guardianship arrangements covered? What if the child never was involved with the foster care system?Can you get credit for each adoption you complete even if completed in the same year? What about adopting siblings at the same time?What is a Qualified Adoption Expense for purposes of the Adoption Tax Credit 2024?When can you claim the Adoption Tax Credit?Special Needs Adoption: How does the Adoption Tax Credit differ for adoptions from foster care? What does the IRS accept as proof of “special needs”?What is a $0 subsidy agreement?Special needs child for international adoptionCan you reclaim your expenses for an attempted adoption that did not result in a placement (failed adoption)? How?What income level (Modified Adjusted Gross Income) is excluded?How long can the credit be carried over?What if you didn't claim the Adoption Tax Credit when eligible? Is the Adoption Tax Credit something you can amend your tax return for, and if so, how do you amend it, and how many years back?Will the Adoption Tax Credit offset self-employment tax?How does the Secure Act impact claiming the Adoption Tax Credit for 2024 taxes? What should you do if the child's Social Security Number is unavailable when you file? Should you use an Adoption Taxpayer Identification Number (ATIN #) if you don't have the child's social security number?How does the Adoption Tax Credit work in conjunction with employee adoption benefits? For special needs adoption?If you adopt, can you still get the Child Tax Credit?What do you need to get the Child Tax Credit for your adopted child?Do you need to send any documentation to the IRS when you file your taxes? What type of documentation should you keep in your records?How do you find a tax specialist knowledgeable about Adoption Tax Credit? The Adoption Tax Credit used to be a refundable credit. Do you think the new administration will impact the refundability legislation? Advocate for refundability Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: My husband and I adopted our now seven-year-old son from South Africa two years ago. He is the best. We cannot believe how lucky we are to have this joyful little boy in our family, and we owe much of our success to what we've learned from your show and resources, so thank you. Although our son feels pretty easy compared to some of the challenges we hear about, he still requires a lot. A lot of time, patience, energy, school appointments, doctor's appointments, therapy appointments, etc. In any case, we are now considering whether to embark on a second adoption of an older child three to six years old from South Africa. While I see a lot of resources for preparing siblings and managing birth order disruptions, which is not the case for us, we are wondering what parents of adopted kids should consider when deciding whether to adopt another child. For example, is it better for our son to have all of the resources, meaning time, patience, energy, et cetera, and stability we can provide an only child given his needs and the fact that he was adopted later? Should we expect more of the same with a second child or are there different challenges to raising new siblings who both have trauma? What should we be aware of or thinking about when making this decision?Resources:Sibling RelationshipsParenting Adopted ChildrenSelf-Care for Parents and CaregiversSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are you considering adopting a child this year? We've got answers to all (or most) of your questions. Join our discussion with Teresa Bernu, the Executive Director at Adoption Center of Illinois. She is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and has worked extensively in the areas of domestic infant adoption, foster care, and guardianship. We will also talk with Steve Valdez, the Chief Operating Officer at Hand in Hand International Adoptions.  He holds a Master of Divinity and an M.A. in Psychology. He's an adopted dad of 5 kids through foster care adoption.In this episode, we discuss:Domestic infant private adoption in the USWhat is the process?What are the reasons that pregnant moms are placing their children for adoption?Matching-Expectant parent choiceThe Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children (ICPC)Open adoptionSpecial needs of children availableHow long does it take? What factors influence this time?How much does it cost? What factors influence this cost?How do failed matches when an expectant mom decides to parent rather than go through with an adoption plan impact the cost of domestic adoption?Adoption agency and adoption attorneyWhat is the first step prospective adoptive parents should take if they are interested in adopting a baby?Adoptions from foster care in the USWhat is the process?Adopting your foster childAdopting a waiting childWhat are the reasons that children come into foster care in the US?What age and race of child is available for adoption from foster care?Special needs? Trauma, prenatal substance exposureHow long does it take?How much does it cost?What is the first step prospective adoptive parents should take if they are interested in adopting from foster care?International adoptions to the USWhat is the process?What types of special needs do children available for adoption from abroad have?How long does it take? What factors influence this time?How much does it cost? What factors influence this cost?What is the first step prospective adoptive parents should take if they are interested in adopting internationally?Additional resources:Adoptions in the US: How Many? How Much? How Long?Choosing an Adoption Agency or AttorneySupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: My husband and I are licensed to foster/adopt, but there have been no placements yet. We initially thought our age preference was 2-6 year olds, but as we have gotten more information/education we think we may be a good home for teenagers. We have no children (adopted/fostered/biological) between us but this also means we have no one else in the home at this time. We are still interested in fostering (and adopting should the opportunity arise) younger children as well at some point. My question is would it be "better" for us to start with teens and move to younger children after the teens have left our home (for college, work, general adulthood independence) or would we be better prepared for teens after having younger children first?Resources:Becoming a Foster ParentFoster Care AdoptionWelcoming an Older Child to Your HomeSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building