Myth of Motherhood

Today's episode is about alignment. Alignment inside our bodies, but also alignment in terms of what's happening outside our bodies. In the world. This is also a big episode because I have some news that I share at the end of the episode. In my 35+ years of dance, yoga, Pilates training and 20+ years of teaching in the world's most elite gyms and boutique studios. Working with thousands of other smart, motivated, disciplined women like yourself, hearing your feedback and feeling my own shifts as I practice what I preach, I've developed a method that shows you how to move forward one step at a time. We KNOW that the answer is not in a restrictive diet, a punishing workout schedule, or endless meditation. We've tried them all and these dramatic upheavals aren't sustainable.It's time to stop looking outside for some one size fits all answer, because it will never be the right fit for you. I believe that if we put as much time, energy, and discipline into our insides as we do our outsides, if we connect our physical and emotional bodies, we are all unstoppable. Learn more about Alissa at www.alissa-alter.com and subscribe to the newsletter here because there are some exciting alterations coming up and I don't want you to miss out! You can also follow me on IG @alissaalter. And if this resonated with you, share with a friend! Sharing is caring after all :)

I hate not being in control. And being a mom means I am not in control. In fact, I'm completely out of control. Oof. Just saying that makes me nauseous. Want to know something really cool that I do when I feel scared and out of control? I become extra controlling. It's awesome. Truly. Ask my husband how awesome it is, he will tell you it's the best. It's this vicious cycle I get caught in. A spinning hamster wheel I can't get off so I stay on even though it makes me motion sick. And the thing is I don't really want to control everything as a mom. I don't want to control, dominate, or micromanage Everett or Jeremy or even myself for that matter. I want Everett to be empowered, to know I trust him, and most importantly to trust himself. In this episode I talk about embracing 5 Rules of Improv and the No Plan Plan to help me feel grounded when everything goes bananas. Because we know, motherhood doesn't always go as planned. Want to stay up to date on how you can stay grounded in the chaos? Click here to get stories, tips, and tricks in your inbox each week. And follow me on IG @alissaalter Loved this episode? Remember to follow or subscribe for free so you don't miss an episode of Myth of Motherhood.

Back in December we had our first dad on the show, Andy Kingman, the husband of my dear dear friend Amy Kingman who is with us today! Andy is the one who first shared the idea of relationship capital with me which is something I haven't stopped thinking about. And today Amy and I talk more about how we invest our relationship capital with our families and most importantly ourselves. Which is so hard. Because any time, energy, money we put into ourselves takes away from our family right? That's what we've been told! But we say THAT”S TRASH! Investing in yourself is the most important thing you can do. Amy has over 15 years of experience in the philanthropy and nonprofit sector. Before launching her own consulting firm in 2020, Amy spent four years as the chief executive for two private family foundations started by Doris Buffett: The Learning by Giving Foundation and the Letters Foundation. In 2018, Amy was honored as one of Boston's ‘40 under 40' for expanding Doris' philanthropy. Prior to her philanthropic work, Amy held several positions in various small nonprofit organizations focused on youth development and mentorship, including Breakthrough Greater Boston, Strong Women, Strong Girls, and Mass Mentoring Partnership. She currently serves on the Board of Trustees of Wellspring House and, before being elected to the ECCF Board in 2021, was a member of the foundation's County Leadership Council. Amy holds a Master's in Social Work with a concentration in nonprofit management from the University of Pennsylvania, and a Bachelor's degree in social work from Skidmore College. She lives in Essex with her husband and daughter. Learn more about Amy at www.amykingmanconsulting.com and follow her on instagram @amylynnkingman. If you're interested in some tips, tricks, and tools for investing in yourself, subscribe to my newsletter at alissa dash alter dot com where I will be sharing small but substantial ways you can alter your life :) Learn more about Alissa at www.alissa-alter.com and subscribe to the newsletter here because there are some exciting alterations coming up and I don't want you to miss out! And if this resonated with you, share with a friend! Sharing is caring after all :) See you next week!

So our pelvic floor is a hammock of voluntary, skeletal muscles as the base of our pelvis that houses and supports our digestive and reproductive organs. And it gets quite the workout during pregnancy and postpartum, no matter how you birth your baby. Let's get specific on why we need to talk about, learn about, and connect with the pelvic floor. All of us. Not only for those who had a vaginal birth! What? I know. I believe that we all deserve to feel safe, knowledgeable, and at home in our bodies which is why I talk about all of the things I'm not “supposed” to. If you like what you hear and are looking for more info on how you can make small but substantial changes in your life, subscribe to my newsletter at alissa dash alter dot com where I will be sharing small but substantial ways you can alter your life :) Learn more about Alissa at www.alissa-alter.com and subscribe to the newsletter here because there are some exciting alterations coming up and I don't want you to miss out! And if this resonated with you, share with a friend! Sharing is caring after all :) See you next week!

Our second DAD on the show! Have you ever wondered why we see more action toward equality in the workplace than we do at home? That we find it easier to navigate these discrepancies with HR than our partner? That parenting feels like 1950 instead of 50/50? This week's guest Michael Perry, the founder of Maple, felt that way too. So yea, it's not in our heads, a MAN felt it too! Michael Perry (He/Him) is the Founder and CEO of Maple, a company focused on building a better world for all parents. Prior to founding Maple, Michael founded Kit, which he sold to Shopify in 2016 and worked for over four years as an executive overseeing Marketing Technology. He has been included on Forbes' 30 under 30 list, recognized by Inc. Magazine for his contributions in the messaging space, and named one of the top marketing executives in the world by Business Insider. Michael Currently lives in California with his wife, 2 sons, and two bulldogs. Check out the amazing things Maple has going on at www.growmaple.com including a panel From Woman To Mother: A Panel Discussing This Shift In Identity that I will be speaking at on May 6th 3-4pm est. Register here. I hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I did. You may want to grab a crystal, some incense, and like a tarot card because that's how deep we go. Learn more about Alissa at www.alissa-alter.com and subscribe to the newsletter here because there are some exciting alterations coming up and I don't want you to miss out! And if this resonated with you, share with a friend! Sharing is caring after all :) See you next week!

So why is no one throwing us a party?! I got a Bat Mitzvah when I got my period and my brain and body changed and became fertile. And when I gave birth and my brain and body changed again, I got…a baby. Where was the party? The theme? The dancers? The reverence? The recognition? The celebration? Becoming a mother aka Matrescence is basically an adult puberty. Our hormones, minds, and bodies go haywire as everything changes. It's not all in your head, it's in your body too! Learn more about Matrescence here and building ceremonies around the transition here. And if you want to stay in touch and learn more about how to navigate these changes in your life, join me and my community here and follow me on instagram @alissaalter

Change is…hard. Change is also literally my last name. And as often as I say I hate change, I don't really. I am made for it. And if we are living a full, vibrant life we are changing all the time. Each experience, lesson, day brings new information that we can use to grow and change or ignore and stay the same. Taryn Lagonigro is a wife and mom of four daughters, the youngest of whom was born with Down syndrome in 2020. Taryn is a passionate advocate and business owner through Extra Lucky Moms and Iris Yoga. She also dedicates time to The Down Syndrome Diagnosis Network and 321 Sunshine as a board member. Taryn's first book, Ups, Downs and Silver Linings, will be published in Spring 2022. Resources: Learn more about Taryn at www.tarynlagonigro.com Follow her on Instagram @mindfullytaryn Stay up to date on what's going on with Extra Lucky Moms here and follow on IG here Read Taryn's article for pstprtm.com Read my article on extraluckymoms.com about not neglecting yourself in motherhood Follow me on Instagram @alissaalter Join my weekly newsletter for more tips and tricks to alter your motherhood experience. Loved this episode? Remember to follow or subscribe for free so you don't miss an episode of Myth of Motherhood.

Everything feels unsteady postpartum: your legs, your balance, your hormotions (that's hormones and emotions mixed together). This is happening as a result of the havoc pregnancy runs on our bodies physically and the fact that you and everything in your life has now changed! Because you had a baby! Which is exactly how the story goes. But instead of staying unsteady and feeling unsafe, I'm sharing tips and tools to help you find stability physically and emotionally after baby. You can read the article I wrote about this here and follow me on IG for more ways you can find balance and stability in your body and your life @alissaalter Ready to take the next step together? Ready to feel grounded from the inside out? Sign up for my weekly email here and get ready to alter your life :)

We're talking pinterest goals & instagram dreams and how that's never how it shakes down in motherhood. Like everything else in life, adventures in parenting are rarely linear. There are twists and turns, checks and balances, risks and rewards that we are constantly calculating. This week's guest is Erin Pasquet. A NYC based birth and postpartum doula, lactation counselor, childbirth educator and pre/postnatal yoga and fitness instructor. She's a mom to a (silly, active and adventurous) little boy and is passionate about educating and empowering birthing people and families to make informed choices that are best for them. From pregnancy to parenting there are so many choices to consider and calculations to make. She's a guide to help navigate the tricky terrain agenda free. Because Erin and I are based in new york city, we can't help but talk about the insanity that is the pre school and kindergarten application process if you are in a position to consider private schools. I mean! There's a reason Odd Mom Out, Gossip Girl, and the Nanny Diaries are so popular! And whether or not private school is the thing that's currently making you coo coo bananas, we can all relate to the feeling that our baby's entire future rests on every single decision we make. About anything and everything. Resources: Follow Erin on IG @erin_duolight Learn more about Erin's work at a doula here www.duolightnyc.com Follow me on instagram @alissaalter Join my newsletter at www.alissa-alter.com Join our private Facebook community Mom's Club for the community of like minded, intentional moms hanging out in a 100% judgment free zone you've always dreamed of. Loved this episode? Remember to follow or subscribe for free so you don't miss an episode of Myth of Motherhood.

There's so much pressure after having a baby to look like you didn't have a baby. Even though you definitely just had a baby. We are supposed to bounce, snap, fit right back into our old jeans and our old lives when everything about us is new. In this week's episode Alissa shares about how we can reframe our experience of taking up more space, being held more fiercely by gravity, and owning our mom bods can change our experience. And hopefully influence societal expectations, pressures, and ideals placed on women's postpartum bodies. To learn more about Alissa, what she does, and why she does it, visit www.alissaalter.com and follow her on IG: @alissaalter

This week we are talking about identifying our blind spots in life, business, and parenting, how having adult tantrums is just like our kids' tantrums, and how modeling a life of integrity and sustainability doesn't have to be all or nothing. I met today's guest Jenny Jackson who is the founder of Ave-Lumi and a mama on a mission to improve the sustainability of the fashion industry at a launch event in 2021. It was my first event of that kind and I knew nobody. If this had been a sorority party, Jenny quickly became my Big Sib. She took me under her wing, introduced me to people, and laughed at all of my jokes. As we spoke I was really inspired by Jenny's passion for sustainability and the deep integrity she brings to her work and her life. You can feel this grounded authenticity radiating from her infectious smile. Ave Lumi is a destination for modern families to shop sustainably and live joyfully and I HIGHLY encourage you to check her out on instagram @ave_lumi and online www.ave-lumi.com You'll notice we start this episode in a fit of laughter as I mention how I'd love a tech team. What we thought were technical issues on Jenny's end, turned out to be my headphones not plugged in all the way. Which hey! We all have blind spots, right? Resources: Follow Me on instagram @alissaalter Download your FREE guide to the 20 Things No One Tells You About Pregnancy and Postpartum, visit www.alissa-alter.com Join our private Facebook community Mom's Club for the community of like minded, intentional moms hanging out in a 100% judgment free zone you've always dreamed of. Loved this episode? Remember to follow or subscribe for free so you don't miss an episode of Myth of Motherhood.

There's this assumption that after we give birth, we spontaneously download a complete, updated guide on everything motherhood/parenting/baby. Suddenly everyone asks us to feel our foreheads, what type of jacket we need, and what's for dinner. I don't know about you, but this made me furious. The automatic status of lead or default parent. Like I suddenly knew everything even though we were both new parents. This episode is based on my interpretation of these events. My experiences as a new, hormonal mom. Objectively speaking, my husband was incredible. That doesn't change the societal pressure, standards, or expectations put on women when they give birth. Learn more about Alissa, what she does, and why she does it at www.alissaalter.com and follow her on IG: @alissaalter

Neurodivergent or neurotypical, all children present their own unique challenges. This week's guest Jess Quarello, born in Sweden and raised in North Carolina, talks about the differences and similarities in her two daughters. Her second daughter was born with Down's Syndrome propelled her into a life of advocacy and community. Because we talk about everything here, we discuss social assumptions and ignorance around children with disabilities and their parents, gory childbirth, and hemorrhoids. Jess began her career in Musical Theater before transitioning to modeling and fashion. She now lives in Hoboken, NJ with her husband and two daughters. You can learn more about Jess at www.jessquarello.com and www.extraluckymoms.com and follow her and her community on IG and Tik Tok. Stay in touch with Alissa and all things taboo topics and staying the course in this crazy marathon of life by joining her newsletter at www.alissaalter.com Oh! And please note if you hear any heavy panting or outbursts in the background, they are courtesy of Walter Alter. Alissa's deliciously cranky French Bulldog. Check out the shownotes here

Picture this: Your dream comes true, you've been chosen to stand center stage for the dance recital. You know all the steps, your costume fits great, you are the shortest kid in class, and now you are exactly where you were born to be. Center stage. After the teacher writes down the formation for next week when inevitably half the class forgets their spots – not you, of course. You turn to your friends and they cross their arms and turn their backs. They're mad at you for being placed center stage. Has this ever happened to you? A situation where your success cost you love? It may not have been your dance recital, but most of us have experienced something similar. Women have been conditioned to compete against each other in every area of life and all it's doing is hurting us. Keeping us down. Keeping us separated from each other because they know we are stronger together. Let's leave fear behind, stop being scared to shine, and start being strong together. Learn more about Alissa, what she does, and why she does it over at www.alissa-alter.com and follow her on IG @alissaalter. Her first book Unstuck: From Understudy To The Study Of Your Undercarriage is available on Amazon Kindle and the Kindle app.

In this episode Alissa realizes where the source of her feeling responsible for her partner's erections based on Lindey's explanation of how stress accumulates in the pelvic floor. Yea, we are making CONNECTIONS people! We are built to experience cycles. Life cycles, menstrual cycles, and stress cycles. And it's that last one that gets really sticky – see what I did there? Lindsey Vestal is the founder of The Functional Pelvis, the first in-home pelvic health practice in New York City run by an Occupational Therapist. She has helped thousands of people overcome chronic pelvic health challenges like incontinence and pelvic pain. Her goal is to empower women and men to listen to the wisdom of their own bodies—without resorting to invasive surgeries or prescription drugs—so they can heal and get back to enjoying life again. SHE TAKES A DIFFERENT APPROACH FROM OTHER PELVIC HEALTH EXPERTS. She considers the whole person, not just outward physical symptoms. She doesn't believe kegels are a one-stop shop for every pelvic floor dysfunction. And Alissa feels the same way. To receive Lindsey's refreshing newsletter about all things core and pelvic floor, go here. Learn more about Alissa, what she does, and why she does it at www.alissa-alter.com and follow her on IG @alissaalter.

As much as we will try to be the generation that does it perfectly, we are all going to f*ck up our kids somehow. I know I'm dedicated to doing it differently than my parents did, but I'm not denying it will happen. And today's podcast guest Susanna Merrick, founder of Aura Wear, agrees. In this episode she shares about her upbringing as the only girl of six children raised in a culty household with a mother who ruled with an iron fist. And now as Susanna approaches motherhood herself, she's bringing herself and her inner child a ton of compassion and healing with color. We all have a mother wound and as mothers we are going to wound others. Susanna is a highly sought after Intuitive Energy Reader, Stylist and Spiritual Coach. Aura Wear is a method and brand that focuses on self-expression through color, fashion, and wellness. Her work has been featured in Goop, Elle Magazine, Well and Good, and Vanity Fair. Susanna's mission is to empower those to take the reigns of their self-expression through their personal style and spiritual practices. Follow her on IG @aurawearnyc and visit her website www.aurawearnyc.com to learn more about her work and offerings. Make sure to listen to the end of the episode where she shares about a special offer. Learn more about Alissa, what she does, and why she does it? Visit www.alissa-alter.com and follow her on IG @alissaalter

We've been playing this pandemic game of life for a while now. And I feel numb inside. I'm hungover and I'm pissed. I'm tired of having the same conversations on repeat. I'm tired of assessing risk. I'm numb from numbing and wondering WTf do we do next? Where do we go from here? In this episode I talk about how all of this relates to my relationship with alcohol and how we are on a break right now and what I'm doing to counteract feeling dead inside. Hint: It has something to do with things that make me feel ALIVE! It's rough out there so let's get together and feel alright. Click here to check out the shownotes and follow Alissa on IG @alissaalter. Want to learn more about Alissa, what she does, and why she does it? Visit www.alissa-alter.com

This keeps coming up and we can't talk about it enough; why do we so often wait until motherhood to find and own our worth? I mean, we know why (hint: all of the systems in place to keep women small and quiet) and still, it is our work now to create new systems for the next generation. And what does that require? It required us to opt out of garbage, reparent ourselves, and own our f*cking worth. Warning: I say at least TWO very smart things in this episode. Ryanne, our guest, says more than two smart things. Today's guest Ryanne Glasper is very special to me. I first met Ryanne when I hurt back in 2013. She then treated me for whatever injuries I got from whatever show I was in and she was the first person I told out loud that I was going to be filing for divorce. She's since moved out of NYC which breaks my heart, but I worked with her virtually to recover from my birth injury physically and emotionally. Learn more about Ryanne at Ryannetanae.com and check out the show notes to learn more about her and her amazing work. Want to learn more about me , what I do, and why I do it? Go to www.alissa-alter.com and follow me on IG @alissaalter Alright, let's do this!

I was 16 the first time I had a teacher talk about transitions. The way that we connect movements, steps, positions are what make dancing dancing and not classroom exercises. The dancing happens in the transitions. In this episode I share a few words of wisdom from my beloved ballet teacher Kat Wildish including, “Transitions are expensive.” They're expensive because to have the control, musicality, sensitivity, and awareness to make them seamless takes years of training. Time, discipline, blood, sweat, and tears. And she's so freaking right. Our breath naturally transitions easily from inhale to exhale. Day transitions to night. We've transitioned from 2021 to 2022. So let's dance our way into this new year. One breath at a time. To learn more about Alissa, what she does, and why she does it, visit www.alissa-alter.com. Want to support Alissa's work? Subscribe and share this podcast! Follow me on IG @alissaalter and join my email list.

Anyone else get married feeling like check! Did it! Now that that's taken care of, can we carry on? A real air of “my work here is done”? I know I did. In hindsight, I see that is exactly how I entered into my first marriage. We had built the house, moved in, and then never took care of it. Ignored cracks in the walls, peeling paint, a leaking roof, water in the basement, etc. You get the picture. Today we talk to Paula Espinosa Valarezo about how she and her husband are both actively engaged in building an EPIC partnership, how they do it, and how they approached becoming parents with this in mind. By keeping THEIR partnership central to the equation. Paula Espinosa Valarezo (She/Her) is the mom of a one-and-a-half-year-old amazing baby girl. She is a Copywriter and Brand Strategist at Serious. Business by day, and short story writer by night (her favorite character to write is her own mom). Paula is a Women Deliver Young Leader, Positive Discipline coach in-training, and proud team member of PSTPRTM. She is passionate about conscious parenting, empathy driven-partnerships, equal co-parenting, and making marriage feel like home. Paula is an Ecuadorian living and mothering in beautiful Munich, Germany. Follow her on IG @paulaespinosavalarezo. Learn more about Alissa, what she does, and why she does it over at www.alissa-alter.com.

I love feedback. I love seeing and hearing how I show up in the world. Because I can't see myself. I know what's going on inside me, but have no clue what that looks like in action. In my writing class I told a story about my fears and anxieties before my second wedding and how the stress led to an eye injury that's hilarious. I thought that was the part of the story that was special. But after sharing in class, it was reflected back to me that the part of the story that was compelling wasn't the black eye (you'll have to listen to learn more), but the self doubts I had about marrying Jeremy. No doubts in Jeremy. Lots of doubt in myself. Because I'd been married before and made a whole slew of mistakes. How could I be sure I wasn't messing up again? How could I be sure Jeremy really loved me and wouldn't abandon me? How could I be sure that my trauma and baggage wouldn't pollute this? Us? Him? Through the feedback I got to “hear” my story in a new way. I now understand my experience and myself in a deeper way. Because something I thought was unremarkable turned out to be quite remarkable. So I wonder...what else am I missing? Anyway, the episode is really good and listen to the end because I have a BIG ANNOUNCEMENT! Learn more about me, what I do, and why I do it at www.alissa-alter.com and follow on IG @alissaalter

We've got our first DAD on the show! Andy Kingman and I talk about the effects of becoming parents on marriage, friendships, and gender roles. I've known Andy since college so having this open conversation felt so good and so safe. He and his wife Amy (one of my best friends) were together for ~10 years before having their daughter. Andy shares on how the relationship capital they had built over that time gave them a bit of a cushion to support their postpartum experience. We come from a similar perspective of wanting to change internalized, perceived, and assumed gender roles for our children. And we do this by being curious ourselves and building up relationship capital with our children too. Make sure to listen until the end when Andy blows my mind. And check out the shownotes here. Learn more about Alissa at www.alissa-alter.com and follow her on IG @alissaalter.

There is an old popular legend attributed to the Cherokee or Lenape tribes called “The Story of Two Wolves.” Do you know it? Basically A grandfather explains to his young grandson that within us there live two wolves. One is evil. It is anger, aggression, hate, arrogance, and lies. The other is good. It is hope, humility, empathy, generosity, truth, and compassion. These two wolves are constantly fighting inside all of us. And when the grandson asks which one wins, the grandfather replies “The one you feed.” On this week's episode I go deep on the power of the stories we tell ourselves and each other. It is through our storytelling (no matter the medium) that we choose which wolf we are feeding inside of us. Which leads me to my question...What stories do you tell? Which wolf to feed? Email me and let me know your answer, and follow me on IG. Oh! And don't forget to subscribe to my newsletter so you never miss out on a new episode of Myth of Motherhood, an old legend, or whatever else pops into my head!

Ok, you know that if you're in my space, we are going to talk about buttholes at some point, right? Right. If you're new around here, I will talk about my bhole a lot. Because when your butthole has been torn in half and then repaired, it changes you. And when it comes to childbirth SO many people sugar coat thing, or “don't remember,” or are afraid to speak openly because they are nervous about what they'll say. Today's guest Joanne Adams is my people. She blew me away when she submitted her hilarious article “Incontinence to Confidence” to pstprtm. I knew we would get along well and I immediately invited her to be on the show. Joanne Adams is an internationally certified life and success coach working with new moms who want to feel like they have their sh!t together. Cheerleading for the messy-bun mamas who feel at a loss or a crossroads in life, Joanne's coaching provides a roadmap that leads them to (re)discover and completely uplevel themselves, without sacrificing time away from their babies. An advocate for the unpolished life, she lives in Edinburgh with her partner in a house ruled by two unruly red-haired baby girls. Find out more at www.takemessyaction.com and follow her on IG @messyactionmom Want to learn more about Alissa, what she does, and why she does it? Visit www.alissa-alter.com and follow on IG @alissaalter

When I say boundaries, you say….? For many of us an image of an invisible, electric fence pops up meant to keep some people out and keeps others in. They are rigid and stationary. But the truth is... are you ready for this? Boundaries are actually the #1 way to love and care for yourself and allow others to do the same. Having clear boundaries and communicating them with care sets up everyone for success. Because people will keep stepping up to that electric fence and getting shocked and not know where to turn to for safety. So they keep bumping into, crossing, and activating your boundaries leaving you exhausted, abandoned, and invisible. Today we talk about how to know if you need or want boundaries, how to create them, maintain them, and use them to love others and yourself. Because the reality is...we are often the ones violating our own boundaries and abandoning ourselves. Let's stop abandoning ourselves and start loving the heck out of ourselves instead. To learn more about Alissa, what she does, why she does it, and to check out the show notes visit www.alissa-alter.com.

Have you ever been in the midst of a long to-do list or a big project, struggling to go on, knowing you have so much to accomplish, but what you really need in that exact moment is a nap? What if you honored that knowing and took the damn nap? I know. Revolutionary. Today's guest Chef Carlas Contrereas has become fierce with her boundaries and honoring her highest priorities since becoming a mother. Sometimes those priorities are snuggles or food prep. And other times it's a nap and a Pilates session. She is a trained chef, food stylist, photographer, and health coach. She's also a content creator for food and wellness brands, the founder of the online cooking school Cook+Chop, and host of the podcast Show Up Fully. She competed on Chopped! on the Food Network, and her work has been featured in publications like justBOBBI.com and Well+Good. Learn more about Carla at www.carlacontreras.com and follow her on instagram @chefcarla_c Learn more about Carla and Alissa in the shownotes here.

In our fast paced, modern world it's constantly a race to keep up. It feels like there's never enough of whatever it is we need, and we simply need to keep doing more. I definitely get caught in that rat race. Often. Which is why I'm exploring The Art of Doing Less. This is not an argument to do nothing. It's an invitation to do less. Create space in your life, rest. In this week's episode I talk about how a trip to Miraval Berkshires shifted my perspective on my fast paced life and nurtured my connection to the feminine collective. We are only as strong as our weakest member. It's time to come together, do less, and live more. To learn more about Alissa, what she does, and why she does it, visit www.alissa-alter.com and follow her on IG @alissaalter

This week we dive deep into the meaning of the word myth. How it relates to motherhood, religion, and mythology. And how all of it is kind of really culty. A myth, by definition, is an explanation for something inexplicable or an agreed upon truth to explain something that didn't really happen. It's a lie. And I feel like we were handed a big sack of lies on what motherhood would look like. And while it may have been a lie by omission, it's still a lie. And I'm all about the truth! So we are busting myths and taking names. If you're a fan of the truth and cracking open taboo topics, join my newsletter at www.alissa-alter.com. While you're there you can download my free guide on the 20 Things No One Tells You About Pregnancy & Postpartum, learn more about what I do, and why I do it.

Oooh are you in for a treat! Postpartum doula, childcare provider, improviser, runner, future queer parent, and diet culture dropout Kiki Mikkelsen joins us to talk about caring for others, operating with integrity, tuning out all of the voices around you, listening to your gut, navigating family planning as a queer couple, and throwing out the script and deciding what's best for you. What feels right in your body. Kiki lives in Brooklyn with her wife and their 2 cats, Finnigan and Dad. Learn more at www.kikithedoula.com. Check out the shownotes for more info on Kiki, to download my free guide to the 20 Things No One Tells You About Pregnancy & Postpartum, and leanr more about what I do and why I do it, visit www.alissa-alter.com/podcast

This episode is all about the three things that ACTUALLY prepared me for motherhood. And they're not parenting books. They're not baby books. They're not books at all. They're not birthing or breastfeeding or CPR classes. These three things do not include the “motherly intuition” that is apparently spontaneously downloaded into our brains as our babies exit our bodies. There was no spontaneous download of some sort of comprehensive, exhaustive manual that made me know how to feel that he's warm, or tell that he's hungry not tired, or understand that hekipokter means helicopter. No, today I'm sharing with you the three things that ACTUALLY prepared me for the reality of motherhood, not the myth we are sold. Make sure to check out the shownotes here and check out how these lessons show up in my life now over on IG @alissaalter

It takes a lot to leave me speechless. I'm a talker. And today's guest Elana Bell did it twice. Today she shares her empowered cesarean story and how she took something so medicalized and made it sacred. How she created space to grieve the birth she'd wanted and the version of herself who had to die in order for her to be reborn in motherhood. Elana Bell is the author of Mother Country (BOA Editions 2020), poems about fertility, motherhood, and mental illness. Bell is also the founder of the Mother Artist Salon. In addition to facilitating her own Creative Fire workshops, Elana teaches poetry to actors at the Juilliard School and sings with the Resistance Revival Chorus, a group of womxn activists and musicians committed to bringing joy and song to the resistance movement. Learn more about Elana and her work at www.elana.bell.com and click here for the show notes and to learn more about me, what I do, and why I do it.

We have to stop leaving the mother out of the equation. That is exactly what happens when we ask "When are you having a baby?" This simple question, often well intentioned, completely removes and ignores the birthing person. You never know where someone is on their fertility journey, their marital satisfaction, or emotional and physical recovery from birth trauma. Today's episode provides an update on my physical and emotional recovery from my traumatic birth two years ago and an invitation into how I'm considering a second pregnancy. It's big, it's juicy, and I definitely start crying. I can't wait to hear how this resonates for you. Learn more about me, what I do, and why I do it over at www.alissa-alter.com and check out the show notes while you're there. You can also follow along on IG @alissaalter

“If you feel like you're doing everything, you're doing too much.” -Gemma Hartley. Have you ever been reading a book and got mad at the protagonist? Because you can't believe they are tolerating what they are tolerating and not advocating for themselves? I felt that way when I started Fed Up: Emotional Labor, Women, and the Way Forward written by today's guest Gemma Hartley. It didn't take long for me to realize I wasn't mad AT her, I was mad WITH and FOR her. Her writing, her story, is so beyond relatable it feels like you're reading your own journal. Today we talk about how motherhood is often assumed to be synonymous with martyrdom, the pressure of “motherhood intuition,” and wondering where the hell “fatherly intuition” comes into play. Gemma Hartley is a freelance journalist and the author. She is passionate about creating a more equitable world in which invisible labor is valued and supported by both personal partners and public policy alike. Learn more about Gemma at www.gemmahartley.com and follow her on instagram at @gemmalhartley. More info in the shownotes here.   Download your free guide to the 20 Things No One Tells You About Pregnancy & Postpartum here. Want to connect with me further? Follow me on instagram and join our private Facebook community Mom's Club.  Want to learn more about what I do and why I do it? Are you looking to elevate your pregnancy and postpartum experience? Visit me www.alissa-alter.com

This week's solo episode honors the Jewish New Year and the opportunity to reflect, repent, and recommit to creation. This past year has taught me a lot about my white privilege, my Jewish identity, and how I tend to put my head down, work myself into the ground, and then look up not knowing where I am. Sometimes somewhere I definitely don't want to be. It happened with my first marriage, it happened with my theatrical career, and it almost happened again recently. Thankfully I'm beginning to see the patterns, catching myself before complete and total meltdown, and holding boundaries around my energy. That's why I'm starting a new FREE workshop series to Review & Renew each month. If we want to keep growing and evolving we have to check in with ourselves. Do our past decisions and goals still align in our current self? And when we move forward, we will leave things we can't know now. So we have to make sure we are still aligned. Always. Message me at www.alissa-alter.com to RSVP to the workshops and learn more about what I do and why I do it.   Download your free guide to the 20 Things No One Tells You About Pregnancy & Postpartum here. Want to connect with me further? Follow me on instagram and join our private Facebook community Mom's Club.  Want to learn more about what I do and why I do it? Are you looking to elevate your pregnancy and postpartum experience? Visit me www.alissa-alter.com

Welcome back! I met today's guest Blair Badenhop through mutual friends before signing up for her incredible business mentorship program Your Wellness Brand. Well, we hit it off in a big way and she is now my co-founder along with Anne (our other co-founder and guest on episode 21 who ALSO did YWB with Blair). Blair is a global Brand & Messaging Strategist with over a decade of experience supporting entrepreneurs and small businesses. Her clients have included Emmy Award Winners, New York Times Best-Selling Authors, and hundreds of coaches and content creators from Australia to the Netherlands. She is the host of the Brand Yourself Podcast where she guides her listeners to lean into their authenticity and shares the journeys of renowned spiritual teachers, doctors, and wellness entrepreneurs alike. Formerly, she worked at Harper's Bazaar, Dress for Success Worldwide, The Institute for Integrative Nutrition, and Parsley Health. Blair is also the co-founder and CEO of pstprtm, an idea that was born once she realized there wasn't a space for women to find holistic guidance and resources easily. I am so excited to share today's episode where we dive into the power of the pause. Taking a breath and assessing before reacting. And if you find yourself as in love with Blair as I am, you can learn more about her at www.blairbendhop.com, follow her on instagram @blairbadenhop, or over on @pstprtm where she is the one responsible for our GORGEOUS feed. Seriously, it's beautiful.   Download your free guide to the 20 Things No One Tells You About Pregnancy & Postpartum here. Want to connect with me further? Follow me on instagram and join our private Facebook community Mom's Club.  Want to learn more about what I do and why I do it? Are you looking to elevate your pregnancy and postpartum experience? Visit me www.alissa-alter.com

Sex changes things. It escalates good things and bad things and I want to make sure our emotional intimacy is at the point where sex is our right next step to be to grow our intimacy. Does that make sense? This episode is not graphic, so you don't need to be nervous. I promise this is a safe space. I do use anatomical correct names for a few body parts, but our conversation today is really more about intimacy and how/when/why we choose to express and share that. And how/when/why we choose to express that intimacy physically. With ourselves and our partners. Now that we are all on the same page, a friendly reminder that I am not a doctor or therapist. These are insights I am sharing as divorced, remarried, mom of one who learned a lot about sex by having none of it during my first marriage and then having a whole bunch of it after that.   Download your free guide to the 20 Things No One Tells You About Pregnancy & Postpartum here. Want to connect with me further? Follow me on instagram and join our private Facebook community Mom's Club.  Want to learn more about what I do and why I do it? Are you looking to elevate your pregnancy and postpartum experience? Visit me www.alissa-alter.com

Today's guest is a magical mermaid maiden that I am honored to call cofounder of pstprtm Anne Omland. We met through our other cofounder Blair Badenhop and immediately sparks flew. We are so aligned and so different and seriously, she has mermaid hair. Today we are talking about losing your shit as a mom and trying to find it again. And I urge you to listen until the end. Her definition of motherhood is...beyond. Anne is a co-founder and CXO of pstprtm, a media company and community space on a mission to revolutionize the postpartum experience. She's a Yoga & Meditation Teacher, Hypnobirthing Childbirth Educator, Women's Health Coach, Doula-in-training and the master of creating sacred, healing experiences for mamas and mamas to be. In her other business Mamakind, she creates personalized wellness plans that care for the whole woman on her journey to motherhood, bridging the gaps from standard care. Learn more about Anne at www.mamakind.co and follow her on instagram @wearemamakind   Download your free guide to the 20 Things No One Tells You About Pregnancy & Postpartum here. Want to connect with me further? Follow me on instagram and join our private Facebook community Mom's Club.  Want to learn more about what I do and why I do it? Are you looking to elevate your pregnancy and postpartum experience? Visit me www.alissa-alter.com

In honor of our 20th episode I want to share with you the three things you need to know about YOUR body. Because you only get one, let's honor her well. I believe that movement, self expressions, and good old fashion education empower us to feel safe, confident, and knowledgeable in our bodies. And we need to get in touch with OUR bodies. Not someone else's, but our own. And when you want to share your body with someone else, you need to know what you're up to!!! And in celebration of our 20th episode and thank you for coming back each week and sharing Myth of Motherhood, I have something for you! Listen to the episode to find out what it is!   Download your free guide to the 20 Things No One Tells You About Pregnancy & Postpartum here. Want to connect with me further? Follow me on instagram and join our private Facebook community Mom's Club.  Want to learn more about what I do and why I do it? Are you looking to elevate your pregnancy and postpartum experience? Visit me www.alissa-alter.com

Like many pregnant people, Chloe Campbell (She/Her) spent a lot of time and energy connecting to her body and her baby. Culturally we idealize “natural” birth when we mean an unmedicated, vaginal birth. In this episode we talk about this ideal and how it morphs and changes once we give birth, and all along the way no one really considers the pregnancy. It's all about the baby. Speaking of babies, you may hear some backup vocals from Chloe's incredible one year old daughter Campbell during the episode. Chloe hails from London, UK. She has lived in NYC for 10 years and guesses now she can call it home! She is a performer who has been in multiple musicals in London's West End and on Broadway. In addition to being the mother of Campbell she is one of the hosts of the podcast Mutha... Chloe was five months pregnant when we went into lockdown in NYC and has a lot to say when it comes to being pregnant, giving birth and parenting through a pandemic! Follow Chloe on instagram @chloe.s.campbell and stay up to date with Mutha @muthalove_.   Download your free guide to the 20 Things No One Tells You About Pregnancy & Postpartum here. Want to connect with me further? Follow me on instagram and join our private Facebook community Mom's Club.  Want to learn more about what I do and why I do it? Are you looking to elevate your pregnancy and postpartum experience? Visit me www.alissa-alter.com

In theater, when there are children in a show the company hires a “Child Wrangler.” This person manages the children to make sure they are in costume and make their entrances on time. That they have snacks and water. And that they know all of their lines and choreography. When you become an adult, the Dance Captain and Stage Manager fill this role. It wasn't until after I semi-retired from the biz that I realized I've been “wrangled” or “managed” my entire life. I was left a completely disempowered woman unable to carry the weight of my own life. And while I know I will f*ck Everett up somehow, we started weight training from day one. I want him to know and trust he is strong enough to carry anything that comes his way. Through our training we developed deep trust, security, and strength together. And individually.   Download your free guide to the 20 Things No One Tells You About Pregnancy & Postpartum here. Want to connect with me further? Follow me on instagram and join our private Facebook community Mom's Club.  Want to learn more about what I do and why I do it? Are you looking to elevate your pregnancy and postpartum experience? Visit me www.alissa-alter.com

When it comes to motherhood it's time for radical change. To let go of antiquated ideals and expectations and step into our truth. Dr Ariana Witkin MD (She/Her) joins us today to talk about how being a pediatrician did nothing to prepare her for childbirth, postpartum, and being a new mom. And how there needs to be some radical changes in our healthcare system to support moms postpartum. Ariana Witkin AKA Mama MD is a Pediatrician, Postpartum Coach and Motherhood Mentor. She started her business after the birth of her daughter and experiencing firsthand the lack of coordinated care and support for new mothers. When she isn't educating, empowering and holding space for new mamas you can find her examining Massachusetts' newest and cutest residents in her local community hospital, chasing after her sassy toddler, spinning on her Peloton, or stargazing on the deck with her husband. She is a board-certified pediatrician and completed her pediatric residency at University of Washington, Seattle Children's Hospital. She has contributed to Glamour, VeryWell Family and Business Insider, amongst others. You can stay up to date with all her latest news (and catch a glimpse of her baby girl) by following her journey on IG @arianawitkinmd. To learn more and access her free resources, visit: www.arianawitkin.com.   Download your free guide to the 20 Things No One Tells You About Pregnancy & Postpartum here. Want to connect with me further? Follow me on instagram and join our private Facebook community Mom's Club.  Want to learn more about what I do and why I do it? Are you looking to elevate your pregnancy and postpartum experience? Visit me www.alissa-alter.com

We are conditioned to avoid pain at all costs. But what if staying so safe for so long is actually holding us back. In this week's episode I share some lessons I've learned through painful experiences. Physically and emotionally. Pain isn't the enemy. It is the messenger to our brain to pay attention, be careful, and send healing. And if we keep ignoring it, which I am so good at doing, the pain will increase until it knocks you to your knees. Can we instead challenge ourselves to listen to our pain and soothe it before making it disappear? You tell me.   Download your free guide to the 20 Things No One Tells You About Pregnancy & Postpartum here. Want to connect with me further? Follow me on instagram and join our private Facebook community Mom's Club.  Want to learn more about what I do and why I do it? Are you looking to elevate your pregnancy and postpartum experience? Visit me www.alissa-alter.com

Did you ever wonder what happens when you're an American in Paris getting mixed messages from two different cultures and your husband is Italian so there's a third culture at play and you're expecting twins? I don't know, but Kate does! In this episode we talk about utilizing what resonates from all of the information available. How different cultures can inform our experiences in positive and negative ways. And how we get to pick and choose what works for us to create OUR right way. Kate and I met because our dogs fell in love when we lived in the building in Greenwich Village. We became fast friends and I am constantly blown away by her wisdom, depth, and sense of humor. Kate is the Chief Marketing Officer & Head of Product Innovation at Circa, a fintech company that makes it easier for American renters to pay rent and stay in their homes. Kate was previously the co-founder and CEO of Atikus, a fintech company in East Africa that made it easier for financial institutions to serve difficult-to-reach demographics. She now lives in Paris with her husband, twin toddlers, and two dogs. One of whom, Virgil, is the love of Walter Alter's life.   Download your free guide to the 20 Things No One Tells You About Pregnancy & Postpartum here. Want to connect with me further? Follow me on instagram and join our private Facebook community Mom's Club.  Want to learn more about what I do and why I do it? Are you looking to elevate your pregnancy and postpartum experience? Visit me www.alissa-alter.com

Discomfort is misunderstood. We see it as something negative that needs to be fixed. We so easily forget that in order to grow we have to get uncomfortable. We have to enter...The Discomfort Zone. Alissa has been there a few times and is here to share that each time you emerge from the discomfort zone you are a stronger, truer, more embodied version of yourself. That seems to be something worth getting uncomfortable for. Want to learn more about getting through the discomfort zone and learning to love it? Read Alissa's book Unstuck: From Understudy To The Study of Your Undercarriage available on Kindle and the Kindle App.   Download your free guide to the 20 Things No One Tells You About Pregnancy & Postpartum here. Want to connect with me further? Follow me on instagram and join our private Facebook community Mom's Club.  Want to learn more about what I do and why I do it? Are you looking to elevate your pregnancy and postpartum experience? Visit me www.alissa-alter.com

I met Rebecca when I went for my first massage after lockdown. I had been terrified, but the stress and anxiety of the year had gotten to be too much so I made an appointment. The moment I met her I knew I liked her. Her energy feels so good. I was totally freaking out because of covid and my anxiety, but I felt better being near her. Then she gave me one of those life changing massages. I felt held and cared for and I could feel myself returning to myself. When we chatted after I knew I had met someone really special. And I was right. It wasn't until after multiple massages that I realized she has the most GORGEOUS nail art! And long nails! You never even feel them! And she's a doula! So I asked her to be in the show to share her wisdom and insight. And also as an excuse to take our friendship to the next level. Rebecca Clark (She/Her) is a licensed massage therapist with over 8 years of body work experience and a certified birth and postpartum Doula. Her goal is to introduce luxe and aesthetically pleasing wellness to people in a way that will help them incorporate self care on a consistent basis. Learn more about Rebecca at www.fancyhandsmassage.com and follow her on instagram @fancyhandsmassage   Download your free guide to the 20 Things No One Tells You About Pregnancy & Postpartum here. Want to connect with me further? Follow me on instagram and join our private Facebook community Mom's Club.  Want to learn more about what I do and why I do it? Are you looking to elevate your pregnancy and postpartum experience? Visit me www.alissa-alter.com

When a baby is born, so too is a mother. Everyone swoops in to care for, snuggle, nurture, and comfort the baby. But what about the mother? She also came out of that experience a new person. A stranger in her body and the world. I promise you she needs as much coddling, feeding, sleep, care, nurturing, and love as the baby. Honestly? More. Yet there is so much pressure to get back to everything. Work, your jeans, your activities, your old life. What is instead, we approached the first year postpartum honoring that we are new here too. That we are learning about ourselves, the world, and our place in it every single day. We are growing up together with our babies. If you like this episode, you'll love the ebook ... Download your free guide to the 20 Things No One Tells You About Pregnancy & Postpartum here. Want to connect with me further? Follow me on instagram and join our private Facebook community Mom's Club.  Want to learn more about what I do and why I do it? Are you looking to elevate your pregnancy and postpartum experience? Visit me www.alissa-alter.com

Lisa Gajda (She/Her) had a successful 30 year career on Broadway before becoming a mother. In fact, she never even wanted kids until at the age of 41 and meeting her newborn nephew. Knowing the chances of conceiving without assistance were slim, they found an egg donor and now have two beautiful children who are “the coolest things ever.” This episode is about the mother inside us. And how she can be hibernating for a good long while and maybe even show up as a very different part of ourselves we didn't know existed. Lisa is now a therapist in training working at an LGBTQ+ affirming group practice in the flatiron district. You can follow her on instagram @Justmakidsyo   Download your free guide to the 20 Things No One Tells You About Pregnancy & Postpartum here. Want to connect with me further? Follow me on instagram and join our private Facebook community Mom's Club.  Want to learn more about what I do and why I do it? Are you looking to elevate your pregnancy and postpartum experience? Visit me www.alissa-alter.com

Sometimes self care isn't enough. There I said it. We are constantly told our feelings are “normal” postpartum. It's normal to be tired, sad, and not feel like yourself. But when you find yourself filled with rage that the dog needs more water, the sodastream is out of bubbles, and you're waking up for a sleep intermission from 2am-4am again, it's time to call in reinforcements. In this week's episode I'm sharing my story of reaching my breaking point, breaking down, and putting myself together again. With the support of a great therapist, Zoloft, and the strength to ask for the help I needed, I'm finally feeling better. We are talking about Postpartum Anxiety and Depression, covid, and how it's ok to need more than a bathbomb to feel better.   Download your free guide to the 20 Things No One Tells You About Pregnancy & Postpartum here. Want to connect with me further? Follow me on instagram and join our private Facebook community Mom's Club.  Want to learn more about what I do and why I do it? Are you looking to elevate your pregnancy and postpartum experience? Visit me www.alissa-alter.com

For the perfectionist, there is nothing more valuable or important than perfection. In this episode Reema Zaman, an award-winning writer, speaker, actress, producer, and podcast host and I discuss how perfection ruled our lives and how we overcame it. Hint: it has something to do with loving yourself. Reema and I met on the first day of our freshman year at Skidmore College. I will never forget watching her see her breath for the first time. I didn't understand how she'd never seen that before. Then again, I had never been to Bangladesh, Hawaii, nor Thailand. We've known each other for almost twenty years weaving in and out of each other's and our parallel lives. Reema is the author of the critically acclaimed memoir I Am Yours and the forthcoming dystopian novel Paramita. She is the head writer, creator, and an executive producer on the TV show SNAP. She is the host of the podcast Joy & Revolution with Reema Zaman. A renowned keynote speaker, Reema has been featured and published in the New York Times, VICE News, Dear Sugars, Vogue, Salon, and other noteworthy platforms. Born in Bangladesh and raised in Thailand, Reema lives in Portland with her rescue chihuahua, Fia the Fierce. You may find them both on Instagram and Facebook, and at www.reemazaman.com.   Download your free guide to the 20 Things No One Tells You About Pregnancy & Postpartum here. Want to connect with me further? Follow me on instagram and join our private Facebook community Mom's Club.  Want to learn more about what I do and why I do it? Are you looking to elevate your pregnancy and postpartum experience? Visit me www.alissa-alter.com

In this week's episode we are talking about self care. It's all the rage and may be starting to take on a life of its own. Instead of letting this become another item NOT being crossed off the to do list, Alissa goes over her favorite way to start the day with a win. A quick, easy, integrative way to engage your core and pelvic floor AND calm your nervous system to prepare for the day in under 10 minutes in the coziness of your bed and whatever pjs you are or aren't wearing.   Download your free guide to the 20 Things No One Tells You About Pregnancy & Postpartum here. Want to connect with me further? Follow me on instagram and join our private Facebook community Mom's Club.  Want to learn more about what I do and why I do it? Are you looking to elevate your pregnancy and postpartum experience? Visit me www.alissa-alter.com