Parenting Anxious Kids with Huddle Wisdom

Before we became parents we had all sorts of ideas about what it would be like, stemming from our past experiences, memories, books, hopes and dreams, other peoples ideas...but it's not quite the same thing becoming a parent. I'd personally never have it any other way but there are things we don't anticipate if our children are of a certain sensitive temperament and experience great anxiety; we might not be prepared for the reactivity, the unpredictability of emotional upheaval, the overwhelm, the feeling of 'nothing's working'. Let me help you out a little bit...there are 3 important mindset shifts or mental models that builds a framework that could turn things around. 1. regulation over reaction 2. curiosity instead of judgement 3. connection before correction Tune in to learn more. Also go check out the Emotional Storm Module from the Making Sense of Anxious Kids program...you can access that completely free if you sign up on our website : www.huddlewisdom.com You won't regret it!

This episode is about the version of parenting no one talks about. The one where you're running on almost nothing. Where your child still needs you, and you're not sure what you have left to give. We're not talking about burnout as a concept, or fatigue as a buzzword. We're talking about the real-life moments when you're holding a meltdown with one hand and your own regulation with the other. When you want to be calm, present, available but you're overstretched and running late and the toast is wrong again. This conversation won't give you tricks. Just clarity. A way to think about tiredness that doesn't make it a personal failing. A way to respond to your child without having to pretend you're okay. For parents who are doing their best, even when their best is quiet, slow, and not very pretty. Mentioned in this episode: Making Sense of Anxious Children A course for parents who want to understand what's really going on beneath the behaviour Available at www.huddlewisdom.com

Is your child's misbehaviour leaving you frustrated, confused, or exhausted? You're not alone. In this powerful episode of The Huddle Wisdom Podcast, host Dr Tan unpacks a crucial concept that will transform how you view your child's struggles: challenging behaviour is not the problem, it's the signal. Learn why parents often fall into the trap of "fixing the smoke" (addressing outward child behaviour like yelling, tantrums, defiance, or meltdowns) instead of uncovering the true "fire" beneath. Often anxiety, overwhelm, perfectionism, or unmet emotional needs. Learn actionable strategies to: Pause before reacting to your child's difficult moments. Get curious, not furious, about what might be driving their actions. Gently name the underlying emotions or "fire" you observe. Stay present and connect, even when things feel chaotic. To navigate your anxious child's behavior with confidence and calm, explore Dr Davin Tan's signature online course: "Making Sense of Anxious Children." Learn how to identify those hidden fires, build essential communication skills, and foster a more peaceful home environment. Find out more and enroll today at: www.huddlewisdom.com In this episode, you will learn: Why misbehaviour is a signal, not the core problem. The dangers of "smoke-fixing" in child behavior. How to identify the "fire" (underlying anxiety or needs) beneath challenging behaviors. Practical steps to respond with curiosity and connection instead of frustration. A real-life example of transforming homework meltdowns by addressing underlying perfectionism.

Ever found yourself thinking, “Why is my child acting like this?” In this first episode, we reframe what many of us call "misbehaviour" not as disobedience, but as a signal of stress, overwhelm, or mismatch between a child and their environment. You'll hear: Why some children “explode” over nothing How stress builds under the surface until it doesn't Why focusing on behavior misses the point A different way to respond (that actually helps) This isn't about letting kids off the hook. It's about understanding what's actually going on so you can stop firefighting and start connecting. Mentioned in this episode:

When Connection Feels Impossible: Parenting Through the Disconnection Feeling disconnected from your child? This Huddle Wisdom podcast episode with Dr. Davin Tan explores why kids withdraw and offers practical parenting strategies for staying grounded and fostering connection, even when it feels impossible. Learn the power of presence and how to navigate those challenging moments of silence and emotional distance. Key Discussion Points: Understanding the frustration and pain of feeling disconnected from your child. Recognising that disconnection isn't always personal rejection but can be a sign of a child's internal struggles. The counterintuitive power of "being there" without demanding a response. Why pushing for conversation or resorting to control can backfire. The importance of creating a safe, non-judgmental space for children to open up when they are ready. The concept of "containment" – offering a steady and emotionally regulated presence. Acknowledging the difficulty of remaining present and patient during disconnection. Reframing connection as an ongoing process built through consistent, small acts of support. The enduring impact of a parent's unwavering love and availability, even in silence. Resources Mentioned: Courses: Parenting for Anxious Children, Making Sense of Anxious Children Actionable Advice: Focus on consistent presence rather than forcing interaction. Offer a calm and reassuring energy in shared spaces. Resist the urge to ask accusatory questions or demand explanations. Practice patience and create a safe space for future communication. Be a steady anchor point, allowing your child to process their emotions. Remember that your consistent support is making a difference, even if it's not immediately visible. About Dr. Davin Tan: Dr. Davin Tan is a youth forensic psychiatrist and the host of the Huddle Wisdom podcast, dedicated to providing insightful guidance and support for parents navigating the complexities of raising children and teenagers.

In this episode, Dr. Davin Tan addresses a common but often unspoken fear among parents: "Am I raising a child who lacks empathy?" He explores the complexities of childhood development, distinguishing between normal behaviors and potential red flags. Dr. Tan explores the neurological basis of empathy, the influence of parenting styles, and practical strategies for nurturing compassion in children. He also discusses when to seek professional help and offers hope for families facing challenging behavioral patterns. Key Takeaways: Empathy develops gradually and unevenly throughout childhood. Many behaviors that seem callous are actually developmental or related to anxiety. Authoritative parenting (clear boundaries with high warmth) is most conducive to empathy development. Children learn empathy by experiencing empathy and having their emotions validated. Practical strategies like emotional coaching, perspective-taking, and repair after conflict can nurture empathy. Professional help is beneficial when behavioral concerns persist or significantly change. RESOURCES: www.huddlewisdom.com/courses

Raising children is a unique journey for every family, but when siblings have different neurotypes, the path can feel particularly complex. This insightful episode dives deep into the realities of nurturing neurodivergent children within the same household. Learn practical, actionable strategies to bridge communication gaps, understand and accommodate diverse sensory needs, and navigate the varied ways anxiety can manifest. Discover how to cultivate an environment of open communication, create a truly supportive home sanctuary, and recognize the vital importance of individual decompression time. For parents seeking to move beyond daily challenges and foster profound connection and growth with each of their neurodivergent children, this episode offers essential guidance and heartfelt understanding. Key Takeaways: Reframing Neurodiversity: Understand the fundamental concept of neurodiversity as natural human variation, shifting the focus from "problems" to unique strengths and needs. Beyond "Fair": Individualized Approaches: Explore why treating all children the same isn't always equitable and learn how to implement truly individualized strategies that honor each child's unique profile. Bridging the Divide: Gain practical techniques for effectively addressing communication breakdowns and navigating the often-significant differences in sensory processing. Understanding Anxiety's Many Faces: Learn to recognize and respond to the diverse ways anxiety can present itself in neurodivergent children, moving beyond traditional presentations. Building a Supportive Ecosystem: Discover concrete tips for fostering open dialogue, creating a home environment optimized for diverse needs, and establishing predictable and supportive routines. Audio Program: https://www.huddlewisdom.com/empathicdiscipline

In this episode of The Huddle Wisdom Podcast, Dr. Davin Tan explores the neuroscience behind teenage meltdowns, their common triggers, and provides evidence-based strategies for parents and caregivers. Learn practical insights into the adolescent brain's development, effective mindfulness techniques, and empathic communication methods to navigate the challenges of raising teenagers. Key Topics Covered: The Neuroscience of the Teenage Brain: Understanding the ongoing development of the prefrontal cortex and its impact on teenage behavior. Common Emotional Triggers: Identifying factors that lead to emotional dysregulation in adolescents, such as academic pressure, social dynamics, and sleep deprivation. Mindfulness as a Neurological Tool: Using mindfulness exercises to strengthen neural connections in the prefrontal cortex and improve self-regulation. The Neuroscience of Empathy: How empathy and active listening facilitate co-regulation and create safe spaces for self-expression. The SAVE Protocol: A structured approach to empathic response: See, Attune, Validate, Empathise. AUDIO COURSE: Empathic Discipline for Anxious KIds - CLICK HERE

Discover how Stoicism, an ancient philosophy, can empower parents raising anxious children. Dr. Davin Tan unpacks stoic principles and offers practical tools to build emotional resilience—for both kids and parents. From relatable metaphors to stress-busting strategies, this episode provides actionable insights to navigate the challenges of parenting with calm and wisdom. Plus, learn about Dr. Tan's audio course, Making Sense of Anxious Kids (www.huddlewisdom.com/makingsenseofanxiouskids for deeper learning. Tune in and transform your parenting journey!

Childhood friendships aren't always sunshine and rainbows. We're uncovering the hidden manipulation and emotional turmoil kids face in their social circles. Learn about concepts to help your child build resilience and identify genuine connections, before their self-esteem takes a hit. Sign up to FREE email series : Confusion to Connection (for folk wanting to really help their anxious children) www.huddlewisdom.com/14days

Is your child struggling with symptoms that might be ADHD, anxiety, or perhaps both? It can be difficult to tell the difference, as these two conditions often share similar characteristics. This episode clarifies the complex relationship between ADHD and anxiety, providing practical tools to help you understand your child's experience. Discover how to distinguish between ADHD and anxiety, understand the phenomenon of masking, and learn actionable steps you can implement today. For further support, sign up for our FREE email series, "From Confusion to Confidence," and discover how you can best help anxious children: www.huddlewisdom.com/14days

Understanding Separation Anxiety: Separation anxiety is normal, but that doesn't make it enjoyable. The goal is to understand why a child perceives temporary absence as abandonment and how to reassure them. The child's brain acts like an overenthusiastic security guard, setting off alarms when a parent leaves. The child's brain is trying to protect them, but it can be "extra" about it. Signs of Anxiety: Beyond a child treating a parent's departure as a major event, look for these indicators: Physical symptoms such as headaches and stomachaches, particularly on school days. Behavioral changes, like a normally independent child becoming clingy. Sleep changes, including trouble falling or staying asleep, or checking on the parent. The SECURE Method: Dr. Tan introduces the SECURE method, an acronym for managing childhood anxiety. S - Safe Space / neutral space Creation: Create a secure environment, like a "Chill Zone" with pillows and books, where the child feels safe to express their feelings. E - Emotional Validation: Validate the child's feelings instead of dismissing them. For example, instead of saying "There's nothing to worry about," say "I understand this feels scary. It's okay to feel this way". C - Consistent Routines: Children need routines. Create a short, sweet, and consistent goodbye routine. A good routine includes a quick hug, a simple phrase, and a confident exit. A bad routine involves prolonged hugs, tearful goodbyes, and multiple returns. U - Understanding Triggers: Identify anxiety triggers such as new situations, changes in routine, or loss of control. R - Realistic Expectations: E - Empowering Independence: When to Seek Professional Help: Consider professional help if: The child's anxiety severely impacts daily life. The strategies discussed aren't helping after consistent effort. The parent develops anxiety about the child's anxiety. Statistics: Separation anxiety affects about 4% of children under 12. It's equally common in boys and girls. Most children show significant improvement with proper support. Many parents feel like they're the only ones dealing with this. 14 Days from confusion to confidence: FREE email series / course. IT will help you make big changes in your anxious child's life, and yours in my opinion www.huddlewisdom.com/14days

In this episode Dr Davin Tan shares his insights about what to look out for so that you can distinguish between what's probably normal age and stage anxiety stuff and what might be more serious. With his usual brand of self-effacing humour, we hope you'll enjoy this somewhat lighthearted episode about an important topic. If in doubt, please consult a professional. Making Sense of Anxious Kids Online Course www.huddlewisdom.com/makingsenseofanxiouskids

This podcast episode focuses on building resilience in children through empathic listening and emotional validation. The host, Dr. Davin Tan, explains that these techniques foster strong parent-child connections by creating a safe space for children to express their feelings. Empathic listening involves understanding children's emotions, while emotional validation means acknowledging their feelings without judgment. The podcast offers practical tips for applying these methods and promotes related courses for further learning. Ultimately, the goal is to help children develop emotional strength and navigate challenges effectively. The 'Making Sense of Anxious Kids' course: www.huddlewisdom.com/makingsenseofanxiouskids

Discover the connection between the brain and gut, and how anxiety triggers the release of stress hormones which can disrupt your child's digestion. Learn why mood imbalances can lead to stomach problems, because of the key neurotransmitter, serotonin, found primarily in the gut. Recognise that timing is key; see if there's a pattern between stomach aches and stressful situations. Look out for other symptoms of anxiety, such as sleep changes, appetite changes, and irritability. Know the difference between anxiety-induced stomach aches and when it's important to seek medical help, particularly if the pain is severe, persistent, or accompanied by other symptoms like fever, vomiting, or blood in the stool. Learn how keeping a symptom journal and encouraging open communication with your child can help. Get insights into managing your child's anxiety. Explore Dr Tan's course, "Making Sense of Anxious Kids", www.huddlewisdom.com/makingsenseofanxiouskids

2024 was a tough year, wasn't it? In this episode, I share my own experiences of navigating personal challenges while trying to be the best parent I can be. We'll explore the true meaning of resilience, how to practice intentional parenting even when you're struggling, and practical steps to help you and your kids thrive. Plus, I'll tell you about my free "14 Days of Reflection" program for anxious kids and my comprehensive course, "Making Sense of Anxious Kids". Let's face the challenges of parenting together - you are not alone! CHECK OUT THESE AWESOME RESOURCES ✌️14 Days - From Confusion to Connection (FREE) www.huddlewisdom.com/14days

Understanding Before Change: Huddle Wisdom Podcast Episode 124 Do you ever feel frustrated by your child's anxiety? In this episode, we explore how your own behavior might be impacting your child. We often react quickly to our kids' anxiety. We want to fix it immediately. But sometimes, our reactions can make things worse. Take a moment. Think about how you respond to your anxious child. Do you get anxious yourself? Do you try to solve their problems? Do you avoid situations that make them anxious? Your reactions can unintentionally reinforce your child's anxiety. Instead, try this: Understand your own anxiety. Manage your own emotions. Model calm behavior. When you change, you'll see a change in your child. Listen now to learn more. www.huddlewisdom.com/14days (14 Day email series)

Building Resilience - From Anxiety to Confidence - This episode explores practical strategies for helping children build resilience and confidence in managing their anxiety Dr. Tan introduces the "Courage Ladder" approach, which involves creating manageable steps to gradually expose children to their fears The episode also emphasizes the importance of understanding the physical symptoms of anxiety and how to manage them Dr. Tan introduces the "Body Detective" technique for recognizing and managing physical anxiety signals Practical tools are also discussed, including the "Dragon Breath" technique, the "Worry Box," and the "Superhero Pose" The episode stresses that supporting an anxious child is a journey and that consistency and understanding are crucial The episode emphasizes that the goal is not to eliminate anxiety, but to help children learn to navigate it effectively Course: Making sense of anxious kids www.huddlewisdom.com/makingsenseofanxiouskids IMPORTANT NOTE: The information provided in these podcast episode descriptions is for educational purposes only and should not be considered as medical advice It is important to consult with a qualified healthcare professional for any concerns about a child's mental health. The podcast series, "Making Sense of Anxious Kids," aims to help parents better understand and support their anxious children. Dr. Davin Tan, a child psychiatrist, shares insights and strategies based on his experience working with families The series covers topics such as understanding the anxious mind, effective communication techniques, and building resilience

The Power of Validation - Communication That Transforms - This episode focuses on the critical role of validation in communicating with anxious children Dr. Tan explains how dismissing a child's fears can worsen their anxiety and emphasizes the importance of acknowledging their feelings Validation acts as a "bridge" to help anxious children move towards coping strategies The episode provides examples of how to validate a child's feelings by using phrases such as "It sounds like you're really worried" instead of dismissing their fears It also introduces the "Feel and Deal" approach, which involves validating the emotion first, then working on coping strategies together. The key takeaway is that validation creates emotional safety, which is necessary for children to face their fears Course: Making sense of anxious kids IMPORTANT NOTE: The information provided in these podcast episode descriptions is for educational purposes only and should not be considered as medical advice It is important to consult with a qualified healthcare professional for any concerns about a child's mental health. The podcast series, "Making Sense of Anxious Kids," aims to help parents better understand and support their anxious children. Dr. Davin Tan, a child psychiatrist, shares insights and strategies based on his experience working with families The series covers topics such as understanding the anxious mind, effective communication techniques, and building resilience

Understanding Your Anxious Child's Mind - This episode introduces the concept of anxiety as an oversensitive "smoke alarm" in children, creating a "threat telescope" effect where minor issues seem overwhelming Dr. Tan emphasizes that anxious children aren't being difficult; they are responding to a world that feels genuinely threatening He also discusses how anxiety can manifest in various ways, including physical complaints, avoidance, and irritability The episode highlights the importance of understanding what is happening in a child's mind to better support them It encourages parents to shift their perspective from "What's wrong?" to "What feels unsafe right now?" Course: Making Sense of Anxious Kids IMPORTANT NOTE: The information provided in these podcast episode descriptions is for educational purposes only and should not be considered as medical advice It is important to consult with a qualified healthcare professional for any concerns about a child's mental health. The podcast series, "Making Sense of Anxious Kids," aims to help parents better understand and support their anxious children. Dr. Davin Tan, a child psychiatrist, shares insights and strategies based on his experience working with families The series covers topics such as understanding the anxious mind, effective communication techniques, and building resilience

Making Sense of Anxious Kids Join Dr. Davin Tan as he delves into why some kids exhibit challenging behaviours and how we can better support them. He discusses: Misconceptions about "misbehavior" and the importance of understanding root causes. The "problem of fit" and how demands on children can exceed their coping abilities. Becoming a behaviour detective using the "ABC" method. The role of temperament in children's behaviour. Creating a supportive environment with empathy and understanding. Long-term strategies to help kids manage their emotions. For more strategies, check out Dr. Tan's course MAKING SENSE OF ANXIOUS KIDS self paced audio course "www.huddlewisdom.com/makingsenseofanxiouskids"

A recap of the Meltdown Solution Series. EBOOK available for download: https://www.huddlewisdom.com/the-meltdown-solution-ebook

The STEPs procedure is an excellent, effective and easy method of creating solutions to problems that lead to meltdowns. It does take some practice but it saves you time and energy and helps your children to build up resilience as you go through this process. The Meltdown Solution EBOOK https://www.huddlewisdom.com/the-meltdown-solution-ebook

In this episode, we dive into Chapter 4 of the ebook, exploring how to create a Heatmap of Friction Points. This visual tool helps identify when and where meltdowns are likely to occur, enabling you to address potential triggers and create smoother transitions throughout the day. Key Points: Creating Your Own Heatmap: Draw a timeline: Outline your typical day. Mark meltdown times: Use red dots for frequent meltdowns. Stressful periods: Mark these with orange dots. Calm periods: Use green dots to indicate easy times. Identifying Patterns: Look for clusters of red/orange dots. Identify challenging times and activities that lead to stress. Real-Life Example: Sarah's Story: Sarah noticed her son had meltdowns around 4 PM. She adjusted her routine by preparing dinner earlier, setting up a quiet activity for her son, and involving him in simple food prep tasks. These changes turned a red spot on her Heatmap into a green one. Using Your Heatmap: Identify Patterns: Spot clusters of stress points. Consider Factors: Think about hunger, fatigue, or overstimulation. Brainstorm Solutions: Adjust schedules, prepare in advance, create routines, and introduce calming activities. Implement Gradually: Focus on one or two friction points at a time. Reassess Regularly: Review and update your Heatmap every few weeks. Exercise: Pause the podcast to jot down one red spot on your Heatmap and three strategies to address it. Common Questions: Overwhelming Red Spots: Focus on the most challenging times first. Unpredictable Days: Look for patterns in activities rather than specific times. Involving Your Child: Create a Heatmap together or use stickers for younger children. Partner Disagreements: Create individual Heatmaps and compare notes. Seeing Improvements: Consistent effort should show changes within weeks, though progress may not always be linear. Final Thoughts: The Heatmap aims to reduce unnecessary stress, not eliminate all challenges. Frustration is a normal part of child development. Homework: Create your own Heatmap, track your routine, and focus on one friction point. Thanks for listening! Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review if you found this episode helpful. Link to the Meltdown Solution eBook : https://www.huddlewisdom.com/the-meltdown-solution-ebook

In this episode, we delve into Chapter 3 of the The MELTDOWN SOLUTION ebook. The SAVE Protocol. This essential strategy is your go-to for managing meltdowns as they happen. By the end, you'll have a powerful tool to help your child navigate intense emotional moments. Episode Highlights: Recap of Previous Episode: Differentiating between tantrums and meltdowns. Identifying common triggers and early warning signs. Introduction to the SAVE Protocol: S: Safety First - Prioritise removing hazards and creating a calm space. A: Assess and Approach - Evaluate the situation and approach your child calmly. V: Validate Feelings - Acknowledge and accept your child's emotions. E: Engage Calmly - Maintain a calm presence and offer comfort or space as needed. Real-Life Application: Scenario walkthrough: Applying the SAVE Protocol to a child frustrated with a puzzle. Practical tips for public settings and when feeling overwhelmed. Common Challenges and Questions: Adapting the SAVE Protocol in public. Managing your own emotions. Dealing with violent meltdowns. Patience and consistency in applying the protocol. The importance of supporting your child through ongoing meltdowns. Role-Playing Exercise: Practicing the SAVE Protocol with a playground scenario. Reflection on how the protocol feels and its effectiveness. Homework: Implement the SAVE Protocol during your child's next meltdown. Reflect on what worked and areas for improvement.

In this episode of The Meltdown Solution podcast, we explore the first two chapters of the ebook, focusing on what meltdowns really are and how to spot them before they escalate. We differentiate meltdowns from tantrums and dive into the neurological processes behind these intense emotional responses. Learn about common triggers, such as sensory overload and changes in routine, and discover early warning signs to help prevent full meltdowns. Plus, gain practical tips for managing and understanding your child's unique behavior patterns. Click on the link to get your copy of "The Meltdown Solution" ebook for deeper insights and strategies: The Meltdown Solution Ebook.

This podcast series accompanies the book. Mental models for parents, teachers, professionals dealing with their children's meltdowns. For Episode 1 we start with controlling the one thing we can control in the heat of the moment...tune in to find out what this is. Episode Highlights: Personal Journey: I share my own experiences as a parent, including a haunting day at the school car park, and why these moments led me to create effective systems for managing meltdowns. From the Expert: Despite being a child psychiatrist, I admit that parenting expertise comes from practical experience, not just professional training. Unique Frameworks: Learn about the practical frameworks developed through real-life experiences, designed to help you manage intense emotional moments with your children Resources Mentioned: Download the Meltdown Solution Ebook: [Link to ebook] Watch the Old Video: [Link to video] Visit the Website: [Link to Huddle Wisdom website] Thank you for joining me on this journey to transform meltdowns from moments of crisis into opportunities for growth and connection.

Are you a parent struggling with anxiety? Do you worry about how your anxiety might be affecting your children? In this episode of 'The Huddle Wisdom Podcast' with Dr Davin Tan explores practical strategies for managing parental anxiety. Discover how to identify your triggers, practice mindfulness, communicate effectively, and set healthy boundaries. Learn how taking care of your mental health can create a more positive and nurturing environment for your entire family. www.huddlewisdom.com/signup www.huddlewisdom.com/courses

In the final episode of the Huddle Wisdom Podcast series, Empathic Guidance for Anxious CHildren, Dr. Davin Tan explores the importance of tailoring your approach to your child's mental age rather than their chronological age. Using the factory analogy, Dr. Tan explains how children develop at different rates across various domains and provides practical strategies for supporting them at their actual developmental stage. Highlights: Recap of the factory analogy for understanding child anxiety Differences between mental and chronological age Story of Emma, a 12-year-old with varied developmental stages Practical strategies for preschool, primary school, and teenage developmental stages Identifying your child's mental age through observation and interaction Introduction to the "developmental gradient" method Dr. Tan also introduces the Empathic Guidance course, a comprehensive program designed to help parents and caregivers develop a deeper understanding of child psychology and anxiety. The course offers in-depth insights and practical tools to nurture your child's emotional well-being. Tune in to learn how to adapt your approach to meet your child's changing needs. Thank you for joining us throughout this series! To learn more about the Empathic GUidance for Anxious Children course www.huddlewisdom.com/courses To sign up for our free newsletter: www.huddlewisdom.com/signup

Join Dr. Davin Tan in this episode of the Huddle Wisdom Podcast to explore the power of encouragement in helping anxious children thrive. Recapping the factory analogy from previous episodes, Dr. Tan highlights the importance of recognizing and reinforcing a child's efforts to build self-confidence and resilience. Learn practical strategies to implement encouragement and help children navigate challenges. Highlights: Recap of the factory analogy for understanding child anxiety Importance of empathy and positive reinforcement Story of Alex, a young boy overcoming his fear of speaking up Strategies for recognizing and reinforcing efforts Emphasizing intrinsic motivation over external rewards Creating a safe environment for mistakes and learning Tune in to discover how encouragement can be the steady hand guiding anxious children through challenges. Don't miss the next episode on matching your approach to your child's mental age! Learn more about the empathic guidance for children course: www.huddlewisdom.com/practice

Part 2 of the Empathic Guidance for Anxious Children series; based off the course. Here, we explore how to build strong, empathetic connections with children to help manage anxiety. Using the analogy of a factory, Dr. Tan explains the importance of improving communication between the emotional and rational parts of a child's mind. Discover the S.A.V.E. protocol and practical strategies for consistent connection. Highlights: Recap of the factory analogy for understanding child anxiety Importance of secure attachment relationships Story of Sarah, a young patient overcoming panic attacks Introduction to the S.A.V.E. protocol: See, Acknowledge, Validate, Empathy Long-term strategies for maintaining consistent connection Insights on the "good enough" parent concept by Donald Winnicott Tune in to learn how to become a communication specialist and validation machine for your child. Don't miss the next episode on using encouragement to reinforce behavior! Learn more here about the course - Empathic Guidance for Anxious Kids www.huddlewisdom.com/practice

In this episode, which is part 1 of a series based on the course 'Empathic GUidance for Anxious Kids'. We dive into the complexities of anxiety in children. Discover how anxiety manifests, with examples and statistics from the Anxiety and Depression Association of America. Dr. Tan shares personal anecdotes and practical strategies, like the "balloon breath" and "worry box" techniques, to help manage anxiety. Tune in for insights on recognizing signs and providing effective support. Highlights: Definition and forms of child anxiety Signs and symptoms to watch for Real-life example of a young patient, Tommy Importance of understanding root causes Strategies like breathing exercises and cognitive-behavioral techniques Upcoming topics on building empathetic connections Join us as we support our children through the challenges of anxiety with empathy and practical tools. Don't miss the next episode on fostering strong, empathetic connections! Learn more: www.huddlewisdom.com/practice

Dr Rucklidge is a world renowned researcher and psychologist. She shares findings from her research in easily digestible pieces and I believe this will give parents and other listeners useful things to think about when working out what to do about nutrition, diet and micronutrients. Her book the better brain is a great resource and I recommend that you read it! Here's the link to the trial that was mentioned at the end of the episode. The M&M Trial investigates the efficacy of micronutrients and mindfulness as interventions for children struggling with emotional dysregulation. https://www.canterbury.ac.nz/research/about-uc-research/research-groups-and-centres/te-puna-toiora-mental-health-and-nutrition-research/The-M-M-Trial

In this episode of “Parenting with Huddle Wisdom,” we delve into the controversial topic of free-range parenting, exploring its benefits and potential pitfalls, while emphasizing the importance of context and individual circumstances. We start with the definition and origins of free-range parenting, tracing its roots back to Lenore Skenazy's 2008 article where she described letting her 9-year-old son take public transit alone. Next, we examine a case study of Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard's experience in Copenhagen, highlighting how cultural context influences parenting styles. I provide my insights on safety, appropriateness, and factors like location and age. This includes a light-hearted moment featuring Liam Neeson's unconventional advice. We discuss the balance between independence and security, supported by child safety statistics and the perception versus reality. The influence of different cultural contexts and the legal implications in various jurisdictions are also touched upon. Finally, I offer practical advice for increasing independence and safety skills in children. The goal of parenting is to raise well-adjusted, independent children by balancing individual needs, environmental factors, and community support. If you have concerns about your child's development or how to balance safety and independence, reach out to a child psychologist or psychiatrist for guidance. Stay informed, engaged, and make parenting decisions based on your unique circumstances, prioritizing your children's mental and emotional well-being. credit: Film, Taken, Liam Neeson

Struggling to connect with your anxious child? In this game-changing episode, we reveal 18 powerful questions that will transform your conversations and help your child open up about their anxiety. From understanding physical sensations to identifying triggers, these expertly crafted questions cover every aspect of childhood anxiety. You'll discover:• The surprising origin of your child's anxiety (Question #1 is eye-opening!)• A creative way to visualize anxiety that kids love (Question #6 will amaze you)• The one question that unveils your child's secret coping strategies (Don't miss #12!)• How to uncover the hidden impact of anxiety on your child's life (Question #13 is crucial) Plus, we'll share tips on dealing with the dreaded "I don't know" responses and the silent treatment. Whether you're a parent, teacher, or caregiver, this episode is your key to fostering open communication and supporting the anxious child in your life. Don't miss this opportunity to strengthen your relationship and help your child thrive! Tune in now and transform the way you talk about anxiety with your child! TO go deeper: Foundations of Connection COURSE

In the final installment of our three-part series, Dr. Davin Tan tackles the controversial question: Should parents monitor their children's social media accounts? Join us as we explore the delicate balance between online safety and privacy, and discover practical strategies for navigating this complex issue. Key Points: Statistics on Parental Monitoring: 60% of parents check their teen's social media profiles, while 40% do not. Concerns about online safety, cyberbullying, and exposure to harmful content versus privacy and trust. Research Insights: Teenagers who believe their parents are monitoring their social media are more likely to engage in online risk behaviors. Open, honest communication between parents and teens reduces risky online behaviors. Practical Solutions for Parents: Set Clear Guidelines: Establish rules for social media use, including privacy settings and acceptable behavior. Use Monitoring Tools Transparently: Inform your child about monitoring tools and explain the reasons behind their use. Foster Open Communication: Encourage discussions about online experiences and create a safe environment for your child to share concerns. Adjusting Monitoring as Children Grow: Tailor your approach based on your child's age and maturity. Gradually reduce monitoring as your child demonstrates responsible online behavior. Regular “Tech Talks”: Have weekly or monthly discussions about online activities, new apps, and any concerns. Resources Mentioned: Huddle Wisdom Courses: “Supporting and Guiding Anxious Kids” – Empathic parenting strategies for emotional and behavioral challenges. “Connecting with Anxious, Sensitive, and Neurodiverse Kids” – Enhancing communication skills, fostering empathy, and managing emotions. Conclusion: Monitor your child's social media with transparency, respect, and a goal of teaching them to navigate the online world safely and responsibly. Stay informed, stay connected, and adapt your approach as your child grows.

In this episode of we explore the contentious topic of violent video games and movies and their impact on children. We look at the potential risks and offers practical advice for parents. Key Points: Statistics on Violent Media Exposure: 90% of movies, 68% of video games, and 60% of TV shows contain some form of violence. Concerns about increased aggression, desensitization to violence, and emotional distress in children. Research Insights: Mixed findings on the impact of violent media. Younger children and those with pre-existing emotional or behavioral problems may be more vulnerable. Practical Solutions for Parents: Monitor Content: Be aware of what your child is watching or playing. Use content ratings as a guide. Set Limits: Manage screen time and restrict access to violent content. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no more than one to two hours of screen time per day for children over the age of two. Encourage Alternative Activities: Promote non-violent games and activities that foster creativity, problem-solving, and social interaction. Prosocial Video Games: Games that reward helping and cooperation can increase empathy and decrease aggressive thoughts. Context Matters: Different types of violent content can have varying impacts. Help children understand and process what they see. Catharsis Theory: The idea that violent media can serve as a safe outlet for aggression is not widely supported by research. Resources Mentioned: Huddle Wisdom Courses: “Supporting and Guiding Anxious Kids” – Empathic parenting strategies for emotional and behavioral challenges. “Connecting with Anxious, Sensitive, and Neurodiverse Kids” – Enhancing communication skills, fostering empathy, and managing emotions. Conclusion: Err on the side of caution with violent media, especially for younger children and those with behavioral issues. Monitor content, set limits, and provide alternatives. Every child is different; tailor your approach to your family's needs. Next Episode: The impact of social media on teenage self-esteem. Outro: Thank you for tuning in. Stay informed and engaged with your children's media consumption.

Today's episode: “Noodles, Not Sandwiches” – a simple concept to support your anxious child.Did you know? Nearly 1 in 3 adolescents experience an anxiety disorder (National Institute of Mental Health). Supportive parenting can reduce this risk by 46% (Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry). The Noodle Analogy Compliment Sandwich vs. Noodle Analogy: Toss out the old “compliment sandwich” and embrace the noodle analogy for flexibility and fun. Noodle Recipe for Parenting Success: Water (Warmth): Create a comforting environment for your child. Noodle (Growth): Help your child grow and become more flexible. Flavor (Empathy): Acknowledge and validate your child's feelings. Spice (Courage): Encourage bravery and use humor to reduce anxiety. Real-Life Applications: Tantrums: Start with warmth and empathy, use humor, and offer comforting touch. School Stress: Create a calm environment, listen, use gentle humor, and celebrate efforts. Facing Fears: Validate feelings, use humor, encourage bravery, and celebrate courage. Key Takeaway: Just like noodles need time to become tender, kids need patience and the right support to flourish. Use warmth, empathy, humor, and encouragement to help them transform. Special Treat: Check out our new ‘Noodles, Not Sandwiches' merchandise! T-shirts, mugs, and plush noodles available at our Fourthwall store. https://huddlewisdom-shop.fourthwall.com/?source=dashboard

Part 1: Why Your Child Shouldn't Have a Smartphone Until 16: Shocking Truths Revealed! Welcome to “Technology and Media with Dr. Davin Tan,” where we delve into the profound impact of modern technology on our lives. In this episode we address a pressing question for many parents: When should children be allowed to have their own smartphones? Join us as we explore surprising statistics about early smartphone ownership and discuss the potential risks and benefits of these powerful devices for young, developing minds. Dr. Tan shares practical advice for parents, emphasizing the importance of setting clear boundaries, utilizing parental controls, and maintaining open communication with your child. Tune in to gain valuable insights and make informed decisions about your child's digital life. Stay involved, provide guidance, and keep the lines of communication open to ensure your child's well-being in the digital age.

Discuss the common challenge of whining in children and its impact on family dynamics. Psychology Behind Whining: Reinforcement Through Response: Parental attention can reinforce whining (85% of cases). Cry for Attention: Whining as a tool for emotional needs; consistent positive attention reduces it by 60%. Emotional Regulation Challenges: Whining as a manifestation of frustration, fatigue, or hunger; emotional regulation skills reduce it by 40%. Effective Strategies to Address Whining: Make Whining Ineffective: Consistently refuse demands made through whining; 75% decrease over six months. Proactive Positive Attention: 15 minutes of undivided attention daily reduces negative behaviors by 50%. Fostering Emotional Expression: Teaching verbal expression of emotions reduces whining by 65%. Handling Meltdowns and Tantrums with Empathy: Key Strategies: Stay calm, validate feelings, offer comfort and reassurance. Impact: Empathetic responses improve emotional regulation skills by 70%. Conclusion: Emphasise the importance of understanding the causes of whining and implementing targeted strategies for a harmonious home environment. FREE tools www.huddlewisdom.com/gettools [for navigating meltdowns] www.huddlewisdom.com/connections [for more effective communication with sensitive kids]

Today we're diving into a topic that keeps many parents up at night - childhood fears and anxiety. Imagine this: It's 2 AM, and you're jolted awake by a blood-curdling scream. Your heart races as you dash to your child's room, expecting to find a burglar or perhaps a particularly menacing spider. Instead, you're greeted by your six-year-old, trembling under the covers, insisting there's a scary thing in the wardrobe. Is this normal childhood fear, or should you ring the local child psychologist at this ungodly hour? Stick around, because we're about to dive into this very question. In this episode, we'll explore: - Common Childhood Fears: From fear of the dark to koumpounophobia (fear of buttons), we'll discuss the wide range of fears children experience. - Age-Related Fears: Learn about typical fears at different developmental stages, such as loud noises for infants and social situations for school-age children. - Distinguishing Normal Fears from Anxiety: Understand the red flags that might indicate your child's fears have crossed into anxiety territory. - Statistics and Studies: We'll share insights from recent surveys and studies, including data from the UK's National Health Service and the British Journal of Developmental Psychology - Practical Strategies: Get actionable tips for helping children manage both normal fears and anxiety, including validation techniques, gradual exposure, and mindfulness practices. Join us as we navigate the complexities of childhood fears and anxiety, offering insights and practical advice to help you support your child's emotional well-being.

Master the art of balancing empathy and challenge in parenting with practical tips and a touch of humor. Blog Post: https://www.huddlewisdom.com/blog/parenting-tightrope-empathy-challenge LinkedIn Profile Follow me! https://www.linkedin.com/in/huddlewisdom/

In this episode, we explore the trials and triumphs of parenting, drawing from a familiar scene of childlike mischief and adult frustration. Let's think about the motives behind children's behavior, the importance of fostering a sense of belonging, and the lessons learned from natural consequences rather than employing a power-over authoritarian approach that doesn't work for you in the long run. Whether you're feeling overwhelmed by the chaos or cherishing a sweet moment of redemption, remember, we're all in this together. Tune in for a fresh perspective on parenting and remember, there may not always be chocolate at the end of the day, but there are always opportunities for growth and connection. #ParentingJourney #ChildBehavior #UnderstandingKids #HolisticParenting #GrowthAndConnection #EverydayChaos #TrialsAndTriumphs #FreshPerspective #ParentingPodcast

In this enlightening episode, I sit down with my friend and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu coach, Professor Felipe Santos. A champion in many respects, Felipe is a kind, passionate family man and an all-round good sort. I've learned a lot from him over the years. Our conversation evolves naturally, flowing with the go, as Master Rickson Gracie would say. We cover a lot of ground, discussing topics such as: Resilience, perseverance, and grit Dealing with complexity, uncertainty, fear, and anxiety The importance of family and traditional values The power of community The significance of structure and discipline Respect for others, self, and higher powers This episode was suggested by Prashant Kumar, the mat enforcer at our gym. His wonderful idea led to a conversation that I believe will be the first of many more to come. Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, we find, is a metaphor for life. Any difficult-to-master skill can be a rich resource of lessons that teach us so much about life and how to live meaningfully. I hope you enjoy this episode as much as I did! To find Professor Santos and the gang at Mount Maunganui Jiu-Jitsu, check out the details in the show notes. They offer a one-week free trial, which I highly recommend. Not only does BJJ give you a competitive edge in BBQ rumbles, but it also provides an advantage in many areas of life, including business, family, love, friendships, finances, and conflict resolution. https://www.mountjiujitsu.co.nz/ https://www.facebook.com/mountmaunganuijiujitsu https://www.instagram.com/mountmaunganuijiujitsu Don't forget to check us out on LinkedIn, Instagram, and Facebook. Visit huddlewisdom.com for free parenting resources, especially if you have anxious kids at home or at school. For the neuroatypical tribes out there, we have resources for you too. If you enjoy our content, feel free to contribute at www.buymeacoffee.com/huddlewisdom to keep this good thing going. Enjoy the episode!

Welcome to this episode of "The Power of Self-Reflection: A Guide for Parents of Anxious Children". In this episode, we delve into the challenges parents face when their children experience anxiety and explore the transformative power of self-reflection as a tool to navigate these challenges. We discuss the difference between reactive and self-reflective practices, highlighting how easy it is to revert to old habits in stressful situations. We explore the concept of self-reflection, a practice that involves acknowledging our roles in conflicts and dissecting our actions. This enlightening journey can enhance our ability to think before we act, fostering personal growth and better understanding of our reactions. We guide you through a journey of self-reflection with reflective questions designed to help you understand your reactions and their impact on your anxious children. These questions serve as a starting point for introspection, helping you to explore the principles that guide your actions, understand the notions carried over from your own childhood, and identify the ideas that influenced your response or reaction at that moment. Remember, this is a personal journey with no right or wrong answers. It's about understanding ourselves better to support our children more effectively. We encourage you to take some time to reflect on these questions and share your reflections and discoveries on your social media platforms, fostering a supportive community for parents facing similar challenges. Join us in this episode as we embark on this enlightening journey of self-reflection to better support our children and navigate the challenges of parenting. The QUESTIONS What principles guide my actions?What notions have I carried over from my own childhood?What ideas influenced my response or reaction at that moment?How confident am I in identifying problems?Am I considering all the relevant factors?Do I feel like I've lost control over a situation?Is this because I feel the need to be heard or listened to?

Parents are the answer to the mental health crisis. How? Tune in. For resources on how you can be the linchpin in your kid's lives. www.huddlewisdom.com/connections

Introduction: Welcome to another episode of Parenting with Huddle Wisdom. Today we're diving into a common yet challenging scenario: anxious mornings with our little ones. As parents, we've all been there—rushing to get everyone ready for the day while managing our own stress. But how can we co-regulate with our anxious child, validate their feelings, and provide comfort when we're feeling overwhelmed ourselves? Let's explore some strategies and personal experiences. Scenario: The Anxious Morning Rush: Picture this: It's 7:30 a.m., and the house is buzzing with activity. Your partner is grabbing their laptop, your older child is searching for their missing shoe, and the dog is barking at the mailman. Amidst the chaos, your youngest—a sensitive and anxious soul—is clinging to your leg, tears streaming down their face. They're worried about school, friendships, and whether they'll remember their lunchbox. How do you handle this delicate moment? 1. Co-Regulation: Co-regulation is the key. When our child is anxious, they look to us for cues on how to manage their emotions. Take a deep breath, ground yourself, and offer a calm presence. Sit down with your child, make eye contact, and say, “I see you're feeling worried. It's okay—we'll get through this together.” 2. Validate Their Feelings: Acknowledge their anxiety without judgment. Say, “It's normal to feel nervous sometimes. Even grown-ups get anxious. Let's talk about what's bothering you.” Encourage them to express their fears, whether it's forgetting their homework or being teased at school. 3. Empathize: Share your own experiences. Maybe you recall feeling anxious before a big presentation or meeting. Let them know they're not alone. Say, “I remember feeling nervous too. But guess what? We survived, and you will too.” 4. Comfort Amidst Stress: Now, here's the tricky part: You're stressed too. Your mind is racing through your to-do list, and patience wears thin. But remember, your child needs you. Take a mental pause. Remind yourself that their anxiety isn't a personal attack—it's their struggle. Hug them, stroke their hair, and say, “We'll figure this out. We're a team.” 5. Navigating the Chaos: As you juggle breakfast, backpacks, and car keys, keep your child close. Reassure them: “We've got time. Let's find your lunchbox together.” Involve them in problem-solving. Maybe they can choose a comforting item to take to school—a small plush toy or a family photo. 6. Free Resources for Parents: In today's show notes, you'll find a link to HuddleWisdom's Anxiety Toolkit for Kids. It's a collection of free resources—printables, breathing exercises, and calming techniques—that you can use with your child. Visit www.huddlewisdom.com/connections to access these valuable tools. Conclusion: Remember, parenting isn't about perfection; it's about connection. Our anxious mornings are opportunities to strengthen that bond. So, take a deep breath, hold your child's hand, and step into the day together. Until next time, this is [Your Name] signing off. Be kind to yourself, and be there for your little ones.

Welcome to our podcast, where we delve into the personal journey of a forensic psychiatrist and father who faced his own demons. This is a story of a man who, despite his professional expertise in human behavior, found himself in a situation that shook him to his core and led him to introspect deeply about his life and priorities. In this podcast, we explore a haunting incident - a day when he left his young, anxious daughter alone in a bustling school car park. Overwhelmed by professional commitments and personal responsibilities, he made a choice that he would regret deeply. The guilt and shame of this incident led him to a depressive episode, forcing him to confront his shortcomings as a parent. This transformative experience led him to prioritize his family over everything else and develop a framework to safeguard his children from his own flaws. This framework, initially intended for personal use, turned out to be a powerful tool that had a positive impact on his family. In this podcast, we discuss the importance of equipping oneself with certain frameworks of thinking to overcome personal flaws and limitations. It's not about the specific framework - you can develop your own or use other systems. The key is to have a system in place. Join us as we navigate through this deeply personal story and explore the systems he developed for the wellbeing of his family: 1. [Connecting with Anxious Kids](https://www.huddlewisdom.com/foundationsofconnection ) 2. [Empathic Guidance for Anxious Kids](https://www.huddlewisdom.com/practice) Remember, no matter how daunting parenting may seem, you've got this. All you need is a system. Tune in to our podcast and embark on this enlightening journey with us. Thank you for listening.

In this podcast episode, we delve into the rising rates of anxiety in children and explore strategies to counteract these challenges. We discuss the impact of technology, academic pressure, parenting styles, and social comparisons. Our focus is on fostering empathy, active listening, and emotional intelligence. We share practical tips for creating a safe space, promoting social connections, and teaching coping mechanisms. Join us as we empower parents, educators, and caregivers to support children's mental well-being in today's dynamic world.

Parenting is a journey filled with unique challenges, one of which is dealing with the silent treatment from our children. This can be a frustrating situation, but it's important to remember that it's not about us, even if it feels personal. It's about their emotions—they might be overwhelmed, frustrated, or misunderstood, possibly lacking the words to articulate their feelings. A Simple Framework Before we delve into the silent treatment specifically, let's talk about a simple framework that can guide us in reacting to confounding behaviors in a helpful way. This framework is based on giving our children the benefit of the doubt and asking two questions: What's going on in the environment? What skills does my child need to deal with the environment? This framework won't guarantee perfect solutions, but it will keep you in reasonably good stead when confronted with confusing behavior. Understanding the Silent Treatment When children give us the silent treatment, it's crucial to recognize that there's something going on. They aren't just being difficult on purpose. Our instinct might be to confront or demand communication. However, a different approach, inspired by Dr. Gabor Maté's book “Hold On To Your Kids,” could be to ‘woo' our children back into conversation. ‘Wooing' isn't about bribing or cajoling; it's about showing genuine interest in their lives, being patient, giving them space, and staying engaged. It's about being curious about their world, thoughts, and feelings. Tips for Dealing with the Silent Treatment Here are some more tips to help you navigate this challenging situation: Stay calm and composed. Avoid reinforcing the behavior by giving in when your children are silent. Write to them. Show curiosity and express interest in them. Create a positive environment that encourages your children to talk. Don't pressure them to talk, as it might cause them to retreat further into silence. If you notice they're not responding, express your desire to understand why calmly. If the silent treatment is harmful, it's important to set boundaries, especially when a response is required. Let your child know how their silence affects you using “I” statements to avoid sounding accusatory. Sometimes, children need time to process their feelings. Let them know it's okay to take a break from the conversation. If the silent treatment becomes a persistent issue, consider seeking professional help. Reflect on your availability and the time you spend on things that ultimately matter. Engage in games like ‘Two Truths and a Lie' or ‘Would You Rather' to foster communication in a fun way. Remember, these are just guidelines. For a deeper understanding of this topic, tune into episode 091 of the Parenting with Huddle Wisdom Podcast. Thank you for joining us, and remember, parenting is a journey. We're all learning as we go. Until next time, keep being the amazing parent that you are. SPECIAL INTRODUCTORY OFFER: Foundations of Emotional Connection Course ⬇️⬇️⬇️ ENROL HERE Hold On To Your Kids is a groundbreaking book by Dr. Gabor Maté and Dr. Gordon Neufeld that explores the importance of parental attachment in child development. It highlights how modern society often undermines parents' roles, leading children to look to their peers for direction, values, and identity. This ‘peer orientation' can lead to children becoming overly conformist, desensitized, and alienated. The book provides practical advice on how to ‘reattach' to your children, establish the proper hierarchy in the home, and earn back your children's loyalty and love. ⬇️⬇️⬇️ GET IT HERE (affiliate link)