The Devil's Lightning

In Todays Episode... God hates the word shit. Loose ends have a way of getting snip snap snip snap snipped. Never purchase harvested organs from the paperboy.

In Todays Episode... A mole starts a family with the target. Monetizing holidays leads to the invention of Cat New Year.

In Today's Episode... A salesman comes of age watching the love scene from Terminator. The future is but a garden path that follows along the Rube Goldberg machine of life. 

In Today's Episode... Holiday tropes make life into art. Syphilis is a dating show's big reveal.

In Today's Episode... Energon cubes turn robots into junkies. The birth-to-prison pipeline demands its quota.

In Today's Episode... Creation gets a zhuzhing up with brand awareness and optimistic nihilism. Branding and capitalism tangle like a web of scarves.

In Today's Episode… Toy Collection equals mother times therapy squared (T = mt^2). Fate gets Punk'D by Ashton Kutcher.

In Today's Episode… The line between working and wiping your ass gets blurry. When you pick up a rock you are holding your fate in your hand.

In Today's Episode... Nana likes to swing. A note on the fridge makes the perfect trap.

In Today's Episode... Posidon gets served with tax documents by the IRS. Spoken word poets break the world down in simple terms.

In Today's Episode... Is publicly pissing your pants more evolved? Or is judging those who deviate the mark of an ordered society?

In Today's Episode... Arousal is the difference between an audiophile and an audio fetish. Red Vines are a basic human right.

In Today's Episode... Nothing gets more avant-garde than leaving the lens cap on. Love imitates art when actors have a moment.

In Today's Episode... Couples therapy is a sport that divides the winners from the losers. Nudity and a lake of fire make an above ground pool for the devil.

In a Very Special Bonus Episode...I will never stop, never let goHeaded for the top from the get goGive it all I got, ready set goThis is my hip hop manifestoI got no time to play niceTest me, you better think twice Mic drop will make your heart stopTry me, I got my arm cocked Boldly go like I'm PicardTake it too far, I go hardHard like my grip on this micHard like I'm living my lifeI will never stop, never let goHeaded for the top from the get goGive it all I got, ready set goThis is my hip hop manifestoCan't walk a mile in my shoesGot nothin left to be provedYou cannot handle the truth I will not stop, win or loseI'm in a league of my ownI sit on the iron throneThere is no end to my shitNothing can satisfy itI will never stop, never let goHeaded for the top from the get goEvan T is on the next levelTrue to my hip hop manifestoBeats by The Candle Man 

In Today's Episode... Greasing up with snow is a carnal pleasure. Mr. and Mrs. Claus explore the possibilities of an open relationship.

In Today's Episode... In a world without rules, Spring Break rules. Tiger pits are the only safe place to hide from tigers.

In Today's Episode... Hunters become the hunted when murderers die in each other's arms. Buying and selling Danny Elfmans are a unit of success.

In Today's Episode... A tiger specializes in Lincoln-Douglas style debates. Scent glands will take your breath away. 

In a Very Special Bonus Episode... Not gonna lie, I'm a basic guy When I get a latte, It's pumpkin spice You can try to judge me, I won't live a lie Yes I'm a yuppie, I work 9 to 5 Made this song on my Mac Book Pro Shop on amazon with my new iPhone Watch NBA on my Apple TV Wake up every day with an average physique Face it. I'm basic I claim it. Embrace it Haters gonna hate it, they can keep it real I prefer to fake it and that's the deal Used to give a shit, now I don't give a fuck If that ain't legit, then I'm shit out of luck Got no game and I get no play Shop at the gap, wear slacks all day Watch what I say, and I stay in my lane Don't want any trouble, I won't complain Face it. It's basic That's how I play it Careful what you say if you wanna stay A-list Join every cause or they'll call you a racist Cancel culture won, this is what replaced it Why make art, when the world wants hatred If you talk shit, I'll change the subject Avoid conflict cuz I gotta say fuck it Now I gotta end it, Evan T on blast Someone got offended, getting shut down fast Face it. Stay basic Complacent is safest  Beats by The Candle Man 

In Today's Episode... Tea time must wait until it's go time. Art derives art in an infinite spiral of inspiration. 

In a Very Special Bonus Episode... My mind is a gold mine My clock set to go time Hyperboles over these beats I got dope rhymes I try to be prolific A gift to the gifted Words so absurd  Your world gets flipded I live that nerd life Balance that work life Droppin shit from on high while I fly Cause I'm bird-like Play by my own rules But live by a code Writing software. Writing rhymes Every line so bold Execution like a textbook Mouth like a check book Verses hard as cash Unexpected like a left hook Word to the word play Nerd is my surname Respect to the glasses Yes sir, I got nerd game Rhythm like an algorithm Code so clean Hack into the system The world is my machine Rockin this shit like the matrix, son! Break through the fakeness  Evan T is The One  Soundscape by CRITICAL BASS THEORY 

In Today's Episode... Broccolini is just like broccoli but expensive. Nothing says "I love you" like a hostage situation. 

In a Very Special Bonus Episode... I'm a hard act follow A hard pill to swallow Like the red one from the matrix I'm so real it's hard to take this Back in effect with my brother Mike Z Got no respect for the powers that be Climb to the top of every single playlist Not gonna stop til I'm known as the greatest Recognize the game and the voice behind it I'm the people choice. Evan T redefined it Fearless, cuz stereotypes don't faze me An Asian and a Jew makin Hip Hop so tasty Yes I have a tiger mom. Yes my blood is tiger balm I'm a class act and class is in session So grab a notepad cuz here's a free lesson Brooklyn to the Bay from the East to the West Always on point cuz we strive to impress Rock the microphone when we put it to the test So you better use protection cuz you're fuckin with the best Sampling by Ox Dx 

In Today's Episode... Sodium Pentathol makes for awkward moments. Intellectual property rights do not apply in the air. 

In Today's Episode... Burning the map and steering with your eyes closed is the path to liberation. Frogs reflect on the fate of tadpoles. 

In Today's Episode... A fish poops on the performance of a sushi chef. Excalibur was the nail file in a Swiss Army Knife.

In Today's Episode... Moves Like Jagger gets a remix. Time traveler's rage demands justice.

In a Very Special Bonus Episode... Welcome back Got a brand new track It's your boy Evan T Better get up and clap I'm a middle aged man Retirement plan Got me workin like a jerk Cause life's a pimp hand Got that savoir faire Salt and pepper hair Kickin dope rhymes In my favorite chair Yo the future looks bright When I walk into the light Reaper got me creepin Like a panther in the night Now my bucket list Is a fuck it list Fist full of pills Cause my symptoms persist I got pain in my lumbar six Mind always playin tricks Shed skin from psoriasis Wake up in the night to piss Time can eat a bag full of dicks Makin hay while the sun shines Gray fifty shades but aged like fine wine I'll be keepin it real Until the last line Beats by CRITICAL BASS THEORY 

In Today's Episode... Pellegrino is a teacher of effervescence. Oh thank god for irritable bowel syndrome.

In Today's Episode... The Devil dances with Elton John. A sphincter gets a spa day.

In Today's Episode... Pyrotechnics settle their feud with Dry Ice. The colosseum echoes with aggression.

In Today's Episode... A gate keeper delivers Oscar worthy performances. Pie is a circle of desire.

In Today's Episode... Confrontational seduction can also be fun. A mail bag is the perfect disguise for a utility belt.

In Today's Episode... Better learn to swim because global warming is only two weeks away. The Earth muffin is best served hot and fresh from the tin. 

In Today's Episode... A month long corporate retreat ends in blackmail. A peacocking duck lets go of the act. 

In Today's Episode... A hermit crab starts over. Christmas is a test of faith.

In Today's Episode... Captains have an emotional breakthrough. Migrating birds and Guy Fieri share a lot in common. 

In Today's Episode... Every piece of gum has its own unique destiny. Attention seeking portraits attack. 

In Today's Episode... A five star Yelp review is worth millions. Nothing says romance like a New York City cab driver. 

In Today's Episode... Physicians work their debts off with elective surgery. Sometimes your inner snow leopard runs out to be a zebra.

In Today's Episode... Living deliciously is a fire hazard. Mind control is the ultimate viral brand strategy.

In Today's Episode... Mathematicians engage in a proof-off. The family bong has to skip a generation.

In Today's Episode... Boat law is legally casual. Lighthouse keepers have seen it all.

In Today's Episode... Led Zepplin stands trial for criminally misleading song titles. A hypothetical object lesson provides the perfect cover for a heist. 

In Today's Episode... Whiskey and waterfalls are a dangerous mix. Burning your clothes for warmth is only a short-term solution.

In Today's Episode... Hosting the open mic is elevated to an art form. A father is banished from court by his son.

In a Very Special Bonus Episode... Gods critique their creations. A frog learns how to be free.

In Today's Episode... Advances in butter technology push the boundaries of science. Human sacrifice is the secret ingredient. 

In Today's Episode... A predator offers its prey a last meal. The first rule of vegetarianism is Don't eat your dentist. 

In Today's Episode... A broccoli tree drops the apple of inspiration on a certain Trader named Joe. Only the Hawaiian theme can cross all cultural boundaries.