Podcasts about Kiddushin

What connects purchasing Maarat Hamachpela to KIDDUSHIN by Rabbi Benjamin Lavian

What kind of profession should we teach our children? Is Torah enough? For the source sheet, look here: https://tinyurl.com/MishnatKiddushin For other resources go to https://www.thedailymishnah.com  

What kind of profession is it OK to teach an unmarried son? Is it OK to teach a daughter to be a school-teacher? For the source sheet, look here: https://tinyurl.com/MishnatKiddushin For other resources go to https://www.thedailymishnah.com

What if someone arrives from abroad, with his family, and says they're Jewish? For the source sheet, look here: https://tinyurl.com/MishnatKiddushin For other resources go to https://www.thedailymishnah.com  

You appoint an agent to go off and arrange your marriage and then you agree a match to a different guy! What happens next? For the source sheet, look here: https://tinyurl.com/MishnatKiddushin For other resources go to https://www.thedailymishnah.com  

Maybe you don't need to check out your wife's family? For the source sheet, look here: https://tinyurl.com/MishnatKiddushin For other resources go to https://www.thedailymishnah.com  

How far back do you need to check out your wife's family before you get engaged? For the source sheet, look here: https://tinyurl.com/MishnatKiddushin For other resources go to https://www.thedailymishnah.com  

May a convert marry a foundling? For the source sheet, look here: https://tinyurl.com/MishnatKiddushin For other resources go to https://www.thedailymishnah.com  

Does a child inherit the status of its father or its mother? For the source sheet, look here: https://tinyurl.com/MishnatKiddushin For other resources go to https://www.thedailymishnah.com  

Did I betroth or your daughter? What if we can't be sure? For the source sheet, look here: https://tinyurl.com/MishnatKiddushin For other resources go to https://www.thedailymishnah.com  

I have betrothed one of my daughters but I can't remember which one! For the source sheet, look here: https://tinyurl.com/MishnatKiddushin For other resources go to https://www.thedailymishnah.com  

I have betrothed my daughter but I can't remember who to!? For the source sheet, look here: https://tinyurl.com/MishnatKiddushin For other resources go to https://www.thedailymishnah.com  

How does contract conditionality work and what does it have to do with betrothal? For the source sheet, look here: https://tinyurl.com/MishnatKiddushin For other resources go to https://www.thedailymishnah.com  

You mandate your friend to arrange your engagement to a woman you love, and he gets engaged to her himself! For the source sheet, look here: https://tinyurl.com/MishnatKiddushin For other resources go to https://www.thedailymishnah.com  

Can you get engaged with forbidden substances? For the source sheet, look here: https://tinyurl.com/MishnatKiddushin For other resources go to https://www.thedailymishnah.com  

Can you get engaged to five people at once? For the source sheet, look here: https://tinyurl.com/MishnatKiddushin For other resources go to https://www.thedailymishnah.com  

Can you get engaged with conditions? Or via an agent? Or both? For the source sheet, look here: https://tinyurl.com/MishnatKiddushin For other resources go to https://www.thedailymishnah.com  

Without full and honest disclosure, the betrothal is invalid! For the source sheet, look here: https://tinyurl.com/MishnatKiddushin For other resources go to https://www.thedailymishnah.com 

Is betrothal about love or is it a legal transaction? For the source sheet, look here: https://tinyurl.com/MishnatKiddushin For other resources go to https://www.thedailymishnah.com  

Do men and women have different religious obligations? And what about the Land of Israel and regions outside it? For the source sheet, look here: https://tinyurl.com/MishnatKiddushin For other resources go to https://www.thedailymishnah.com  

Do men and women have different religious obligations? For the source sheet, look here: https://tinyurl.com/MishnatKiddushin For other resources go to https://www.thedailymishnah.com  

How would we acquire land or movable property? Like a slave? And what is the connection with betrothal and marriage? For the source sheet, look here: https://tinyurl.com/MishnatKiddushin For other resources go to https://www.thedailymishnah.com  

How do you acquire a Hebrew slave? And what is the connection with betrothal and marriage? For the source sheet, look here: https://tinyurl.com/MishnatKiddushin For other resources go to https://www.thedailymishnah.com

Is consent required for betrothal? For the source sheet, look here: https://tinyurl.com/MishnatKiddushin For other resources go to https://www.thedailymishnah.com  

After waking in the morning, a person is not permitted to learn Torah before reciting Birkot Ha'Torah. As we saw in earlier installments, however, this applies only to learning verbally. Merely thinking Torah in one's mind, without speaking, is allowed before reciting Birkot Ha'Torah in the morning. (We saw, though, that reading a Torah book, even silently, might require the recitation of Birkot Ha'Torah.) Intuitively, we might assume that silently listening to a Torah lecture should be no different than silently thinking about Torah. Seemingly, then, if a person attends a Torah class in the synagogue early in the morning, he does not need to first recite Birkot Ha'Torah. However, the Halachot Ketanot (Rav Yisrael Yaakob Hagiz, 1680-1757) rules that listening to a Torah class differs from thinking about Torah in this regard. He applies to this situation the famous Halachic principle of "Shome'a Ke'oneh" – that listening to the recitation of a text is akin to reciting it oneself. Thus, for example, every Shabbat, one person recites Kiddush, and everyone else at the table fulfills his obligation by listening to the recitation. Accordingly, people who listen to a Torah class are considered to be saying the words spoken by the teacher. Hence, listening to a Torah class is akin to verbally speaking words of Torah, and requires the recitation of Birkot Ha'Torah. Hacham Ovadia Yosef brought proof to this theory from the Gemara's inference of the Birkot Ha'Torah obligation from a verse in the Book of Debarim (32:3). The Gemara in Masechet Berachot (21a) cites as the Biblical source of this requirement the verse, "Ki Shem Hashem Ekra, Habu Godel L'Elokenu" – "When I call the Name of G-d, give praise to G-d." Moshe here was announcing that when he teaches Torah, the people should recite a blessing. Thus, the very source of Birkot Ha'Torah is a situation where people recite a Beracha before listening to words of Torah, clearly implying that even silently listening to a Torah lecture requires the recitation of Birkot Ha'Torah. This is the ruling also of the Ben Ish Hai (Rav Yosef Haim of Baghdad, 1833-1909). Although several Poskim (including the Lebush and Hida) disagree, Halacha follows the opinion of the Halachot Ketanot. Therefore, those who attend a Torah class early in the morning must ensure to first recite Birkot Ha'Torah. Some addressed the question of how to reconcile the Halachot Ketanot's reasoning with the ruling of the Rosh (Rabbenu Asher Ben Yehiel, 1250-1327) that the person who receives an Aliya to the Torah must read along with the Ba'al Koreh (reader). Fundamentally, the obligation to read is upon the Oleh (person who was called to the Torah); the Ba'al Koreh reads the Torah on his behalf. Seemingly, the rule of "Shome'a Ke'oneh" should allow the Oleh to silently listen to the reader and thereby discharge his obligation. Indeed, the Peri Hadash (Rav Hizkiya Da Silva, 1659-1698) disputed the Rosh's ruling, and maintained that the Oleh does not need to read together with the reader. Halacha, however, follows the Rosh's ruling. If, as the Halachot Ketanot writes, listening to words of Torah is akin to reciting them, then why must the Oleh read along with the Ba'al Koreh? Several explanations were given for why the congregational Torah reading might be different, and is not subject to the rule of "Shome'a Ke'oneh." One theory is that "Shome'a Ke'oneh" applies only when there is a general obligation to recite a certain text. The congregational Torah reading is an obligation upon the congregation as a whole, and not on any particular individual, and it therefore is not included in the rule of "Shome'a Ke'oneh." Others explain that since the original format of Torah reading was that the Oleh reads the text, and the concept of a Ba'al Koreh was introduced later, the Oleh is required to read along, to preserve the initial arrangement. Yet another answer is that the rule of "Shome'a Ke'oneh" does not allow for one person to recite the Beracha over a Misva and another person to perform the Misva. On Purim, for example, the one who reads the Megilla for the congregation also recites the Beracha. Never does someone from the congregation recite the Beracha, and then the Ba'al Koreh reads the Megilla. Therefore, the Oleh cannot recite the Beracha and then fulfill his obligation by listening to the Ba'al Koreh's reading. Interestingly, Rav Shlomo Kluger (1785-1869) asserted that this Halacha regarding Birkot Ha'Torah before listening a Torah class hinges on a debate among the Rishonim regarding a different issue. It often happens that somebody is still in the middle of the Amida prayer when the Hazzan begins the repetition, and reaches Nakdishach. Common practice follows the view of Rashi, that the person in this situation should stop and listen silently to Nakdishach in order to fulfill this Misva. Rabbenu Tam (France, 1100-1171), however, disagreed with this ruling, arguing that in light of the principle of "Shome'a Ke'oneh," listening to Nakdishach in the middle of the Amida would constitute a Hefsek (forbidden interruption) in the Amida. This is no different than reciting Nakdishach in the middle of the Amida, which is of course not allowed. Seemingly, Rav Kluger writes, the ruling of the Halachot Ketanot, that listening to Torah is akin to speaking Torah, follows the view of Rabbenu Tam, that "Shome'a Ke'oneh" actually equates listening to speaking. According to Rashi, listening is not precisely the same as speaking, which is why he permits listening to Nakdishach during the Amida. By the same token, it would seem that Rashi would not require reciting Birkot Ha'Torah before listening to a Torah lecture. The question, then, becomes why we follow Rashi's opinion regarding listening to Nakdishach during the Amida, but we accept the Halachot Ketanot's ruling regarding Birkot Ha'Torah. These two rulings seem to contradict one another – as the first presumes that listening is not precisely like speaking, whereas the second presumes that listening is equivalent to speaking. Hacham Ovadia answers that when a person is reciting the Amida as the congregation reaches Nakdishach, he wants to fulfill the Misva of reciting Nakdishach, but he also does not wish to interrupt his Amida. Halacha therefore allows him to listen to Nakdishach – such that he will be credited with this Misva – without being considered in violation of disrupting the Amida. Since the person seeks to perform the Misva, an exception is made to allow him to do so. Even Rashi agrees that listening is equivalent to speaking, but in the specific instance where a person recites the Amida and hears Nakdishach, special permission is given to listen to Nakdishach. Hacham Ovadia cites in this context the Gemara's teaching (Kiddushin 39b) that a person's intention to transgress a sin is disregarded if he ends up being unable to commit the forbidden act. A person's thoughts are discounted as far as Halachic violations are concerned, and thus one cannot be considered guilty of disrupting his Amida by silently listening to Nakdishach. Another question that was asked regarding the Halachot Ketanot's ruling is whether the speaker and audience must have specific intention for "Shome'a Ke'oneh" to take effect. During Kiddush, the person reciting Kiddush must have in mind that his recitation will be effective in satisfying the listeners' obligation, and they must likewise intend to fulfill their obligation by hearing his recitation. Seemingly, then, if listening to a Torah class is akin to speaking words of Torah due to the principle of "Shome'a Ke'oneh," this should depend on whether or not the speaker and audience have this specific intention. However, Hacham Ovadia Yosef, in his Yabia Omer (vol. 4, addendum to #8), writes that this specific intention is not necessary, and he draws proof to the fact that Torah study marks an exception to the general rule. The Gemara in Masechet Sukka (38) infers the principle of "Shome'a Ke'oneh" from the story of King Yoshiyahu, before whom a man named Shafan read the Torah, and Yoshiyahu was considered to have read it himself. There is no mention of either Yoshiyahu or Shafan having specific intention that Yoshiyahu should be considered to have read the text – indicating that such intention is not necessary. Although in general "Shome'a Ke'oneh" requires the intention of both the speaker and listener, Torah study marks an exception, where such intention is not needed for "Shome'a Ke'oneh" to take effect. Rav Yisrael Bitan offers two possible explanations for this distinction, for why the mechanism of "Shome'a Ke'oneh" does not require Kavana (intent) in the context of Torah study, but it does in the context of all other Misvot. First, the primary method of Torah learning is through a teacher and listeners; this is the most common way that Torah is studied. Therefore, the listeners fulfill their obligation by listening without having to create a connection to the speaker through Kavana. Alternatively, one could say that in the case of Torah learning, the intent is present by default. When a Rabbi or teacher stands up before a room to teach Torah, everyone's intention is clearly to fulfill the Misva of Torah learning, and there is no need to consciously think this. The fundamental difference between these two explanations is that according to the first, Kavana is not necessary for "Shome'a Ke'oneh" to take effect when teaching Torah, whereas according to the second, Kavana is necessary, but it is presumed even without consciously having it in mind. These different perspectives will affect the fascinating question of whether a distinction exists between attending a Torah class and listening to a recording. According to the first explanation, listening to Torah is equivalent to speaking Torah even without Kavana, and this would be true even when listening to a recording of a Torah class. According to the second approach, however, Kavana is necessary for the listener to be considered to be speaking, and the speaker and listener are presumed to have this intent – and thus this would not apply in the case of a recording. When listening to a recording, there is no speaker to supply the Kavana, and thus the listener is not considered to be speaking the words. It would then follow that one would not be required to recite Birkot Ha'Torah before listening to a recorded Torah class in the morning. For example, if a person wishes to listen to a Torah class as he makes his way to the synagogue in the morning, he would not – according to this second explanation – be required to first recite Birkot Ha'Torah. In practice, however, as this matter cannot be conclusively determined one way or another, we must be stringent and recite Birkot Ha'Torah even before listening to a recorded Torah class. Therefore, one who wishes to hear a Torah class in the morning – either in person or a recording – must first recite Birkot Ha'Torah and the verses of Birkat Kohanim beforehand. Summary: One who wishes to hear a Torah class in the morning – either in person or a recording – must first recite Birkot Ha'Torah and the verses of Birkat Kohanim beforehand.

Rabbi Zakutinsky - Mesechta Kiddushin Daf 29 Part 2 by Rabbi Avi Zakutinsky

Rabbi Zakutinsky - Mesechta Kiddushin Daf 29 Part 1 by Rabbi Avi Zakutinsky

Welcome to our special series on Chovot HaLevavot (Duties of the Heart). This is our 13th cheshbon , or day of introspection, in a 30-day journey. The purpose of today's practice is to ask ourselves, "How much of the debt we owe for the countless gifts God has given us have we repaid?" These gifts include the talents and abilities we've been granted. Chovot HaLevavot uses a powerful metaphor to illustrate this point. The Parable of the Servant A master gives his servant a field to plant and all the seeds he needs. However, the servant only plants half the field, using the rest of the seeds for his own personal needs—making oatmeal cereal, for example. One day, the master arrives and discovers the field is only half-planted. When confronted, the servant admits his negligence. Together, they calculate the missing seeds and the master demands that the servant not only repay the cost of the seeds but also the lost profit from the unplanted portion of the field. This debt is extremely difficult for the servant to pay back. Applying the Lesson to Our Lives This story serves as a cheshbon ha'nefesh —a reckoning of the soul. We must ask ourselves how this parable applies to us. God has granted us so much: a mind to comprehend Him and His Torah, and talents to fulfill our obligations. Yet, a close look reveals that we haven't properly used all the gifts He's given us. We continue to receive His favors while misusing the resources He has entrusted to us. The time has come to make a change. We cannot squander our lives on worldly luxuries when God has given us the tools we need to accomplish our mission. Any time or talent that we misuse will result in a lack of resources later on. Some people make excuses for their inaction, but we must not rely on "if onlys" or "maybes." We might say, "If only I had more money or more wisdom, I would fulfill my obligations to God." This isn't true, because God gives us exactly what we need right now. A famous story about Rabbi Yisroel Salanter and his student, Rabbi Naftali of Amsterdam, highlights this point. On Purim, Rabbi Naftali, feeling a bit high-spirited, told his teacher, "If I had the mind of the Shaagat Aryeh, the heart of the author of Yesod V'shoresh HaAvodah , and your purified character, then I would be able to serve God properly." Rabbi Yisroel responded simply, "With your mind, your heart, and your character, you can be a true servant of God." God has given us everything we need. You might think you need more money, but Chovot HaLevavot , in Shaar HaBitachon (The Gate of Trust), calls this a mistake. It likens this mindset to a pawn broker who says, "I need to have everything in place before I can start serving God." Don't trust this kind of thinking. You don't need "cash on delivery" before you begin. You Must Repay: King Solomon writes in Proverbs, "No one scorns a thief who steals to feed himself when he is hungry, but he must nonetheless repay when he is caught." We may have excuses for our actions, like "I was hungry," but this does not excuse the misappropriation of our God-given resources. Time Is a Gift: Look at life as a gift of time that you must repay your Creator for daily. Don't leave today's tasks for tomorrow, as it will only become harder to repay your debt. You'll find that at the end of your days, your excuses will be refused and your alibis rejected. Rav Scheinberg once explained the difference between a gold watch and a gold watch case. The case, he said, is always less expensive than the product inside. However, in this world, time is the most precious commodity, and therefore its "case"—the gold we use to protect it—is made of gold. This world is like a marketplace where people gather and then leave. Those who profit rejoice, and those who lose regret ever coming. The book of Kohelet reminds us, " Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of affliction come ." We have resources and qualities. The verse, "Kaved et Hashem me'honecha" ("Honor God with your assets"), from Proverbs 3:9, can be understood in a deeper way. The Tosafot in Kiddushin references a Midrash that suggests the letters hei and chet are interchangeable. This means the verse can also be read as, " Kaved et Hashem m'ma shechanancha " ("Honor God with what He has gifted you"). This applies to any talent you have. If you have a beautiful singing voice, use it for God. If you have artistic abilities, use them. Whatever God has given you—these are your seeds to plant. Our 13th cheshbon is to ask ourselves, "Am I truly using my seeds and my abilities to their fullest potential?

In a follow up to last week's episode, we review laws of marriage (Kiddushin), explore some aspects of sexuality in Jewish practice (Onah, Niddah), and consider the laws of divorce (Gittin)

The Torah in Parashat Naso tells of the special gifts and sacrifices brought by the Nesi'im – the leaders of the tribes – in honor of the inauguration of the Mishkan. To celebrate this event, the Nesi'im donated wagons to be used by the Leviyim to transport the Mishkan during travel, and then each tribal leader offered a series of sacrifices one day. Each day for twelve days, a different Nasi brought these sacrifices. The Torah introduces this account with the words, "Va'yehi Be'yom Moshe Kalot Moshe Le'hakim Et Ha'Mishkan" – "It was on the day when Moshe finished erecting the Mishkan…" (7:1). Rashi observes that the word "Kalot" resembles the word "Kalla" – "bride." This allusion, Rashi explains, indicates to us that on this day, the day when the Mishkan was completed and began functioning, Beneh Yisrael were like a bride entering under the wedding canopy with her groom. This was the day of Beneh Yisrael's "wedding" with G-d. Rashi's comments must be reconciled with the well-established tradition viewing Ma'amad Har Sinai – G-d's revelation to our ancestors at Mount Sinai – as our nation's "wedding" with the Almighty. Indeed, several customs we observe at weddings commemorate aspects of Ma'amad Har Sinai. For example, we adorn the Hupa with flowers, just as Mount Sinai grew beautiful flowers at the time of the Revelation. And it is customary for the groom to leave the Hupa and walk toward the bride to greet her as she makes her way to the Hupa, as G-d is described as coming from Mount Sinai to greet the people as they made their way from the camp to the foot of the mountain ("Hashem Mi'Sinai Ba" – Debarim 33:2). If our "wedding" with the Almighty occurred on Shabuot, the day of Matan Torah, then how can Rashi speak of the day of the Mishkan's inauguration – which happened nearly ten months later – as the "wedding day"? The answer lies in the tragic event that transpired in between Matan Torah and the inauguration of the Mishkan – the sin of the golden calf. We might say that the day of Matan Torah marked the first stage of the wedding process – what we call "Kiddushin" (betrothal). This is the stage when the groom gives the bride a ring and designates her as his wife. The marriage is completed with the stage of "Nisu'in," when the bride and groom go into private for the first time. The "Nisu'in" between Beneh Yisrael and Hashem was to occur forty days after Ma'amad Har Sinai, on the 17 th of Tammuz, when Moshe came down the mountain with the two tablets. This day was to have marked the completion of the "wedding," whereby our nation was fully "married" to the Almighty. In the interim, however, Beneh Yisrael had betrayed G-d – like a bride who was unfaithful to her groom – by worshipping a foreign deity. Under such circumstances, of course, the "wedding" could not continue. Beneh Yisrael needed to repair the relationship through repentance and through the building of the Mishkan. Once the Mishkan was completed, the "wedding" could now be resumed. Therefore, Rashi writes that on the day of the Mishkan's inauguration, Beneh Yisrael resembled a bride going into the Hupa – because this day marked the renewed "wedding" which had been discontinued as a result of the sin of the golden calf. Not coincidentally, Parashat Naso is almost always read shortly after the celebration of Shabuot, the day which celebrates the beginning of our "marriage" with G-d. Parashat Naso tells of the completion of the "wedding," how our nation succeeded in recovering from the tragic failure of the golden calf, in rebuilding our trust and faithfulness, so we could again be worthy of "marrying" Hashem, of entering into a unique, intimate bond with Him. The story of the Mishkan's completion teaches us that we need to earn this special relationship through loyalty and devotion. If we prioritize other interests and concerns over the Torah, if we choose to place our trust in people and forces other than Hashem, then we are betraying Him and thus become unworthy of His special protection and blessings. If we want to benefit from our relationship with G-d, we need to earn it through unbridled fealty to His commands, and by remaining uncompromisingly and unflinchingly committed to the Torah, without being misled by the alluring "golden calves" that threaten to pull us away from our loyalty to Hashem.

The Gemara in Kiddushin 30b provides guidance for one whose desires are aroused—drag yourself to the Beis Midrash. We analyze why and how this works.

The Gemara in Kiddushin 30b likens the yetzer hara to a wound inflicted by a father and the Torah to a bandage the father provides to protect the son from damage due to the wound.

Two statements in the Gemara in Kiddushin 30b about the yetzer hara: (1) Even it's Creator calls it rah—evil; (2) it's always renewing, strengthening, and trying to kill you.

1)     There's a new Tefilin-protector on themarket. Is it appropriate for Minhag Chabad?[1]2)    May cold food be placed in a warming-cupboard on Shabbos?[2]3)    What would be the equivalent of a blech in order to permit returning hot food back into our ovens?[3]4)    I'm visiting a community on Purim. The local Rabbi has organized Mishloach Monos from family to family. Is there value in me bringing a single package of Mishloach Monos to be passed around: A gives the package to B, Bgives the package to C etc.?[4]5)    What is the brocho for onion-rings that are coated with crumbs?[5]6)    May one eat food that was taken into a WC, or food that was touched by one who exited the WC but hadn't yet washed his/her hands?[6]7)    I sold a house to another Jew. We agreed a time-frame. The lawyer included a penalty for delays. Evidently the penalty increases the longer the delay. Is that kosher?[7]8)    Is it Chabadminhag to refrain from making Kiddushin the 7th hour Friday evening?[8]9)    Feedback on a man davening Mincha a while after lighting candles:[9]10)  Feedback on Poreis Mapoh uMekadeish:[10]https://us02web.zoom.us/j/9764852268?omn=87497291855Index to previous Panorama Shiurim: PanoramaIndex 2 - Google Docs[1] ראה נתיבים בהלכה ומנהגסימן ב. [2]ראה שבת כלכהח"א פ"ט אות לח, להתיר חזרה אם אין בו יותר ממצב-חום אחד. לולא כן הוי כאינה גרופה וקטומה. ולהוסיף, שגם צ"לשאין בו טרמוסטט. לולא כן הרי הפותח או סוגר התנור גורם פעולת הטרמוסטט. זה יהי'מותר ע"י נכרי, מדין פסיק רישי' באמל"נ.[3] ראה שבת כלכה ח"אפ"ח אות טז.[4] י"א שבזהשבעה"ב נותן, די בזה לכל ב"ב (ראה סי' תרצה ס"ד, משנ"ב שםס"ק כה בשם המג"א, 'דרשו' שם מס' 56). לתת מש"מ בתנאי שהוא יתןאותן בחזרה, י"א שאינו מקיים בזה המצוה ('דרשו' שם מס' 51 בשם השפת אמתוהגרש"ז אוירבך). מסתבר שה'סיבוב' המוצע שווה להנ"ל. [5] בס' שערי הברכה ערך 'שניצל'הביא מה'שבט הלוי' ועוד לברך 'שהכל', כי הא דדגן עיקר אינו שייך כשהדגן הוא בעצםטפל. ושם הביא שיש חולקים.[6] דן בזה בס' טעמי המנהגים(ציצית, קו"א לאות כ); שו"ת מנחת יצחק (ח"ג סי' סג); שבט הלוי(ח"י סי' קסה); מחקרי ארץ (ח"ג או"ח סי' ו). [7] ספר תורת רביתפ"ח אות ח, וש"נ לשוע"ר הל' רבית סמ"ח.[8] ראה שוע"רסי' רעא ס"ג; שלחן מנחם ח"ב.[9] אולי יש להבחיןבזה בין אנשם לנשים, "ורובן [של הנשים] אינן מתפללות ערבית במ"ש"(ראה שוע"ר סי' קו סוס"ב). ואולי כן הדבר בליל שבת. וא"כ הוה להוהדלקת הנרות קבלת השבת בשלימותה. משא"כ באיש, שמכיון שתפלת ערבית לפניו [בפרטאם נוהג להתפלל ערבית מבעוד יום], לכן קבלתו השבת היא רק שביתה ממלאכה ולא עיצומושל יום.[10] בשיחת שמח"ת תשמ"ח אמר כ"ק אדמו"רזי"ע שפסקו לנהוג כן בחב"ד.

If a young man is suggested a Shidduch with a girl who is, let's say, 21 years old, and that girl has an unmarried 23-year-old sister, would it be improper for the boy to date the girl? Should he be concerned about the possibility that the older sister will feel resentment over the fact that her younger sister is marrying before her, which could invite the "Ayin Ha'ra" (evil eye) or otherwise cast a dark shadow over the marriage? This question also arises in the reverse case, of a girl who is introduced to a young man who has an older unmarried brother. This question was addressed already by the Maharit (Rav Yosef of Trani, 1568-1639), who wrote that there is no prohibition at all against marrying somebody who has an older unmarried sibling. He notes that this concern was relevant only in ancient times when it was customary for the father to marry off his daughters when they were still children, by accepting Kiddushin on their behalf. When the father accepts Kiddushin for the betrothal of his daughters, it is improper to marry off his younger daughter before the older daughter. Nowadays, of course, young women marry on their own, when they are adults, and in such a case there is no concern whatsoever when a younger sister marries before her older sister. Similarly, the Or Ha'haim (Torah commentary by Rav Haim Ben-Attar, 1696-1743), in Parashat Vayeseh (29:26), writes that the sequence of marriage is of concern only for the girls' father, but not for the groom. Meaning, if a man wishes to marry a younger sister, he may certainly do so, and it is the sisters' father who must worry about first marrying off the older daughter. The Or Ha'haim draws proof to this theory from Yaakob Abinu, who wished to marry Rahel even though her older sister, Leah, was unmarried. Of course, Laban switched the two sisters, but regardless, Yaakob was prepared to marry Rahel even though Leah was unmarried, proving that this is not an issue with which a groom must be concerned. Rav Yosef Shalom Elyashiv (contemporary) indeed rules that one may date and marry a girl who has an older unmarried sister, and a girl may marry a boy with an older unmarried brother, as the older sibling's need to get married is not the responsibility of the younger sibling's suitor. And besides, as Rav Elyashiv noted, it can generally be assumed that the older sibling does not mind the younger sibling's marriage. Certainly, a younger sibling should not be forced to remain single just because he or she has an unmarried older sibling. Therefore, an older unmarried sibling should not be a factor in considering a marriage prospect. Ideally, of course, we want all our children to marry as soon as they are ready and in order, but if this does not happen, the younger siblings are free to date and marry even if there is an unmarried older sibling. Summary: It is entirely permissible for a girl to date and marry a boy who has an older unmarried brother, and for a boy to date and marry a girl who has an older unmarried sister.

Hilchot Chupa V'Kiddushin Part 3: If you know the one of the eidim is a thief should you tell the mesader kiddushin?? Should we purposely use pasul eidim for secular couples(eishes ish)?!?

Rebecca Hornstein serves as executive director of Boston Workers Circle: Center for Jewish Culture & Social Justice, but she is also a talented artist who creates ketubot (Jewish marriage contracts, often crafted to be beautiful art pieces), through a project called Rituals for Revolutionaries. She joins Dan and Lex for a conversation that covers ketubot, the power of Jewish ritual moments, and a magical Yiddish word that may be new to you: “veltlich” (“secular” or “worldly”). This episode is the 6th conversation in an ongoing Judaism Unbound mini-series exploring Jewish weddings.Sign up for Apocry-Fest: Hanukkah Unbound and Un-Canonized by heading to www.JudaismUnbound.com/apocryfest. Do so, and we'll send you all sorts of cool Apocryphal (ApocryFUN!) stuff, during Hanukkah, to help enrich your experience of this holiday! Access full shownotes for this episode via this link. If you're enjoying Judaism Unbound, please help us keep things going with a one-time or monthly tax-deductible donation -- support Judaism Unbound by clicking here!