Podcast appearances and mentions of tanya taylor rubinstein

Are you feeling stuck in your writing journey and lacking new ideas for crafting stories? Try drawing from your lived experiences! Author and storyteller Tanya Taylor Rubinstein believes that to become an embodied writer, you must holistically retrieve your unique voice. She shares her valuable expertise on the profound depth of somatic writing, the transformation of ancestral trauma into narratives, and the enduring power of storytelling across cultures. Heal, enlighten, and create lasting change in this world through your own voice! Tune in to this new episode of The Conscious Marketer podcast — Awaken Your True Storyteller's Voice with Tanya Taylor Rubinstein. Key points covered in this episode: 00:00:00 Introduction 00:01:44 Tell stories from your lived experience. Use personal storytelling to heal and address intergenerational trauma. Access and express your lived experience through somatic writing. 00:08:46 Storytelling is all about belonging. We all have an intractable knot—the thing that we want the most. Create a space of belonging where everyone has the right to belong without enabling violence or retribution. 00:15:07 The stories of marginalized people are more powerful. Psychologists, coaches, and healers, with their own personal stories, are the most important in this field. Seek ways to help women, non-binary people, and queer people share their stories and get into leadership roles, since there aren't enough women in leadership roles in the somatic world.  00:17:51 Don't work from the head but from the body.  Combine somatic practices with literary writing to create a deep and intimate storytelling experience. Work with the spirit through the body, specifically the gut, as it represents resilience and offers a different perspective. The process may be simple, but it took many lifetimes to be discovered. 00:31:19 Stories are our true inheritance. Our stories hold the power to shape the future. The only thing that people care about when faced with mortality is for their stories to be heard and remembered. Storytellers have the ability to influence the direction of the future, just as our ancestors did in ancient times.  00:33:30 Find your sense of belonging through your ancestral heritage.  By reconnecting with our ancestors, we can tap into our true power and find a sense of belonging. Creative possibilities arise when we have access to multi-generational perspectives and the support of our ancestral community. When we honor the past, we honor the future. Tanya Taylor Rubinstein developed somatic writing as a way for her students to become embodied writers. By holistically retrieving voice, untethering power, and writing stories, they are able to experience a profound personal connection to their work. By writing and publishing their memoirs and performing their solo shows, they become positioned as leaders to evolve the culture. The somatic writing process and practice are the thirty-year synthesis of her work as a narrative-based master teacher. She has worked with well over a thousand people over the last twenty-one years to write memoirs, monologues, and solo shows. Work with Tanya Taylor Rubinstein: https://tanyarubinstein.as.me/schedule.php?appointmentType=28936772 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/somaticwriting/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tanya.rubinstein Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tanyataylorrubinstein/ ———————————————————————————————— The Conscious Marketing Movement is all about building a community of conscious leaders, creators, and entrepreneurs.  CONNECT WITH US Join Richard and Kyle in their Facebook group so you can learn how to use conscious marketing in your business. The Marketers Path Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/themarketerspath Website: https://consciousmarketer.com/ SUBSCRIBE TO THE CONSCIOUS MARKETERS PODCAST New Episodes Released Every Thursday  

This week on the Well Woman Show, I interview Tanya Taylor Rubinstein, narrative-based master teacher and founder of Somatic Writing. Tanya Taylor Rubinstein is the founder of Somatic Writing. She developed Somatic Writing as a way for her students to become embodied writers. By holistically liberating voice, untethering power and writing stories, they are able experience profound personal connection to their work. By writing and publishing memoirs and performing solo shows, her students become positioned as leaders in emergent culture. This process and praxis is the thirty-year synthesis of her work as a narrative-based master teacher. The emphasis of the work is on retrieving stories held in the body connected to ancestors, trauma, magic, and land. She has worked with well over a thousand people over the last twenty-one years to write memoirs, monologues, and solo shows. Her memoir, Skirting the Binary, is being published in 2023.She says Emergent planetary culture depends upon our ability to reconnect to ancestral wisdom, land, and our bodies. Now is the time to call back and write the stories of our magic. No part of our story has been more marginalized than the stories of our ancient, intuitive and psychic knowingsAs always, all the links and information are at wellwomanlife.com/307showThe Well Woman Show is thankful for the support from The Well Woman Academy™ at wellwomanlife.com/academy. Join us in the Academy for community, mindfulness practices, and practical support to live your Well Woman Life.

Part two of the twins' conversation with Grammy-nominated singer/songwriter Cidny Bullens - starting from his first visit to Nashville (now his home with wife Tanya Taylor Rubinstein) to the unspeakable loss of his youngest daughter and the album that paid loving tribute to her - to his transition from Cindy to Cidny and his one-person show, his upcoming memoir and much more - including two more tracks from his 2020 album, "Walkin' Through This World" SHOW NOTES: 0:00 - "Lucky For Me" by Cidny Bullens - From 2020 album, "Walkin' Through This World" 3:27 - Greetings and about the song / More about Cidny 5:00 - Welcome Cidny / COVID-19 situation in Nashville / Book progress - "TransElectric" due in 2023 - Preorders likely in Fall of 2022 8:09 - HGTC Addiction and Recovery Lecture Series / Casey King / Cidny's presentation at 46:05 / Thoughts on recovery / Ice cream and tortilla chips 11:23 - Nashville experience continued / "Send Me an Angel" / David Mansfield / Emmylou Harris / Radney Foster / Bill Lloyd 15:15 - 1989 MCA album, "Cindy Bullens" 15:44 - First trip to Nashville / Writing with Foster and Lloyd / BMI head Roger Sovine / L.A. versus Nashville songwriting collaborations / Immediate acceptance in Nashville / Changes in approach to songwriting / Crafting the song 20:35 - Daughters Jessie and Reid / Losing Jessie to complications from Hodgkin's Lymphoma, 1996 / "Somewhere Between Heaven and Earth" single / Kye Fleming 25:15 - "In Better Hands" / "A Thousand Shades of Gray" / "The Lights of Paris" / Beth Nelson Chapman / Rodney Crowell 27:25 - 1999 album "Somewhere Between Heaven and Earth" / Lucinda Williams / Bonnie Raitt / Bryan Adams / Tony Berg / Danny Goldberg - Artemis Records / "Better Than I've Ever Been" 32:18 - The Refugees / Wendy Waldman / Deborah Holland / Animal Logic / Stewart Copeland / Stanley Clarke 37:05 - "Neverland" album / "Dream #29" album / Ray Kennedy / Steve Earle / Twang Trust / John Hiatt / Delbert McClinton / Elton John on piano on "Dream #29" single 39:05 - More about The Refugees / Work on new record in April / Blessed with supportive friends 41:08 - Transition begins 2011 / First public appearances 2012 / Appearances with The Refugees during this period / "Purgatory Road" / "Going into hiding" / Working at L.L. Bean warehouse in Maine 47:45 - 2014 Canadian gigs with Deborah Holland / More about The Refugees since transition 48:58 - One-person show, "Somewhere Between: Not An Ordinary Life" / Meeting wife Tanya Taylor Rubinstein, also director of the show and solo show coach 55:12 - First reading of show in Maine / Budding romance / Married in 2018 56:51 - About the 2020 album, "Walkin' Through This World" / "Purgatory Road" / "Little Pieces" / "The Gender Line" 59:48 - "Invisible" documentary / Songwriting process / Authenticity 1:05:13 - Discussing two awesome Cidny Bullens quotes 1:07:09 - About the song, "Sugartown" 1:10:26 - Wrapping it up / "TransElectric" memoir due in 2023 / Check out www.cidnybullens.com 1:11:35 - "Sugartown"  

This episode is time-sensitive and is a PSA for Tomorrow's Women, a non-profit organization headquartered in Santa Fe, New Mexico that empowers young Israeli and Palestinian women to create change in areas of conflict. So if you like what you hear, on Saturday, July 31st, 2021 you'll have the opportunity to hear directly from the 2021 campers, speaking live from their unprecedented camp taking place in the Middle East near Bethlehem. And if you're so moved and want to support this work, please consider making a donation of any size at TomorrowsWomen.org. I'm joined today by the Director of Tomorrow's Women, Tarrie Burnett, and two campers from the 2021 camp who at the camp Saturday, July 31st will be joined by young leaders, sharing stories of peace amidst the recent violence. In this episode, Tarrie mentions my involvement in podcasting the 2006 monologues performed at the beautiful Lensic Theater in Santa Fe, New Mexico. I had recorded 6 episodes from that evening. Towards the end of this interview, and after our goodbyes at about the 32-minute mark, you'll have the opportunity to hear the monologues of several young women leaders from that 2006 camp. At the time I was working with Tanya Taylor Rubinstein and Camille Adair at Project Lifestories, an organization that was brought into the camps to help the girls write and perform their stories as monologues. I'd been podcasting for about a year and took the opportunity to record 6 episodes of the monologues. Saturday, July 31st @ 9 am PDT / 6 pm Jerusalem Time. This virtual event is free and open to the public. Please consider making a donation in support of our fundraising goal of $10,000 for the evening. Proceeds will go directly to the Young Leader program and additional training opportunities for these brave young women. You may register for the free event here https://tomorrowswomen.org/media-and-events/ Guest contact information Tarrie Burnett Tomorrow's Women https://tomorrowswomen.org/  WHAT has YOUR attention? Let us know To contact us and/or leave us an audio message visit WhatHasMyAttention.com https://www.whathasmyattention.com/  Produced by ImaginePodcasting.com dba Heard Not Seen Media, Inc. Podsafe Music Credits Shine All Night by AudioStock and Motion Array Royalty-Free Music. Dope Digging by Martijn de Boer (NiGiD) Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial (3.0) license

View Episode 4: Knowing Ourselves - As Change Agents How We Keep Ourselves Unstuck Jacob and Judy use Pathfinder’s Tarot deck to pull the Fool Card. They talk about the somatic Writing Class that Judy is taking. As a part of the class, she wrote a short Mantra she shared, following the same format as one Amanda Gorman described using. They also talked more about personality and how our parents impact our temperaments. 00:36 Pulling the Fool Card 02:40 Somatic Writing Exercise and Ancestors 08:02 Our Personalities and its Connection with Our Parents 15:50 How Personality Can Change Over Time 19:16 The Dynamics of Friends and Extended Family Pathfinder’s Tarot by David Fontana The Fool (Tarot card) on Wikipedia Judy is participating in Somatic Writing Prayer Intensive with Tanya Taylor Rubinstein. Amanda Gorman website and video of “The Hill We Climb,” her poem she recited at President Joe Biden’s Innagration via C-Span on YouTube Video of the Interview with Amanda Gorman and Anderson Cooper on CNN that Judy described. Gorman talks about her Mantra starting at about 7 minutes. Enneagram of Personality on Wikipedia Myers–Briggs Type Indicator

Tanya Taylor Rubinstein is a master somatic writing coach, who wanted to get her work more available for others and signed up for a few business incubators hoping for the guidance, culture and delivery of what was promised. Instead she left feeling mis-led and unsupported. We talked about how other people as well are coming forward to discuss just how out of alignment, and integrity many people and business models in the online world are. We explore the challenges and the questions of “what is next?” 02:00 - The challenge of business incubators 05:35 - First experiences 09:18 - Where it gets complicated 10:00 - Confronting racism 11:11 - The guru at the top 15:22 - Walking away 18:54 - Corporate culture 24:24 - Advice to others in the same situation Guest Links: Somatic Writing Webpage: https://www.somaticwriting.com/ (https://www.somaticwriting.com/) Free Facebook Group (approval needed to join) https://www.facebook.com/groups/somaticwriting (https://www.facebook.com/groups/somaticwriting) It's Her Turn website and social media links:  http://www.katedow.com (www.katedow.com)   My Book Fear-Less:The Art of Using Anxiety to Your Advantage https://bit.ly/Fear-LessBook (https://bit.ly/Fear-LessBook) Podcast Dr Kate Dow FB page https://www.facebook.com/drkatedowfemininewisdom (https://www.facebook.com/drkatedowfemininewisdom) FB Community group Fearless Feminine Wisdom https://bit.ly/FFWfacebookgroup (https://bit.ly/FFWfacebookgroup)

In Episode #16, Camille and Tanya explore opportunities for silver linings in the many challenges we are all facing this year by radically re-storying 2020.   Tanya shares a deeply personal story of her ex-husband’s 19-year struggle with mental illness and recent suicide. Stephen’s death is tragic, but it has also provided a needed release for his family and loved ones, who felt like they had lost him years ago.   From mental illness to concentration camp memoirs to activism, over-identifying with the victim or the perpetrator can cause us to lose ourselves in our trauma. When we are out of our power, we cannot help or support each other.   In the short term, 2020 may seem like the year from hell, but in the long term it may lead to needed clarity. Tanya and Camille each share what they have lost and gained this year and how the challenges of 2020 have led them to reclaim their wholeness.   “When the worst happens...there is still the opportunity for incredible blessing through connection. That's what can't be taken: our connection with ourselves and with each other.” -Tanya Taylor Rubinstein   Episode Transcript [00:00:01] Restoring the Culture is hosted by Tanya Taylor, Rubinstein Story mentor, and Camille Adair, family constellation facilitator. [00:00:11] In this podcast, these long term friends explore how stories servi lives. Their inquiry meanders into the realms of science, theater, health and consciousness, moving the individual and global narratives forward as they draw upon their relationship as the laboratory for their experiments. In truth, so many of us feel isolated and alone in our deepest longing. [00:00:38] Each one of us is necessary rediscovering the truth of our human story and listening to what is calling us forward so that we can restoring the culture together. [00:00:52] Hey, everybody, this is Tonya. And welcome back to another episode of Restoring the Culture with my dear friend Camille Adair and me. And today we are going to talk about radically restoring 20/20 and what that means to us. [00:01:11] And Camille's going to start with a little passage from Victor Frankel's man's search for meaning. [00:01:19] But in robbing the prison of its reality there lay a certain danger. [00:01:26] It became easy to overlook the opportunities to make something positive of camp life opportunities, which really did exist. [00:01:39] Leaves me speechless, right? [00:01:42] Amazing. Yeah, this speak by leaving us speechless. Sort of not unlike this year. Right. [00:01:49] There's a lot of speechlessness. And I think I mean, to think if you could find a silver lining. [00:01:56] And living in a concentration camp, surely we can find silver linings. For 20/20 with. [00:02:08] The pandemic. With massive fires, with many deaths from the pandemic. [00:02:17] With social isolation and the wave of depression that's resulting from that increased suicides. Right. [00:02:27] I mean, we can pay the the dark picture, but what's underneath it that's wanting to get our attention? I'd love to know your thoughts on that. Mm hmm. [00:02:38] Well, thanks for asking. It's such a huge. [00:02:42] Such a huge topic that we're biting off here. [00:02:46] And I just want to say to our listeners, as always, there's no dogma here. [00:02:51] There's no agenda here. [00:02:55] We just let you all in on our personal exploration, which is what Camille and I have been doing and our friendship for 20 years. So, I mean, it's it's a humbling thing. It's interesting that you chose Victor Frankl, because I have been moved to. [00:03:12] I've been rereading Elie Wiesel's night and day, also concentration camp memoirs. I'm thinking about the children at the border and concentration camps and also reading about the forced sterilization of people of color, women of color in Georgia. And you know just what's happening in this moment. Right. So I just want to first acknowledge this moment, September 20th, 2020, a couple days after Ruth Bader Ginsburg died. That being in the news also. Right. Right after Rosh Hashana. Right after Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year. So and in the midst of it all were 40, I think 45 or 46 days from the U.S. presidential election. So so why are we both being called to return to Holocaust stories now? [00:04:06] It's like. Well, I think about Steven. Yeah. If we read story, what's going on personally, right? I mean, that takes me to the personal. [00:04:15] Well, it's very interesting. So Stephen was my is my was my daughter's father, and he committed suicide. [00:04:24] This in the last three weeks ago today. [00:04:30] And he had schizoaffective disorder. [00:04:33] He was. Jewish. [00:04:38] From L.A., sort of the nice Jewish boy stereotype or a trope or whatever, but he really was that very, very brilliant and. [00:04:51] His family had Holocaust drama on his father's side. I think this is what I want to say about all of it. What I want to come back to when you asked me that question. OK. There's trauma. We are a traumatized society where traumatized culture, we're traumatized species. And I think about like the Peter Levine work about in our animal self and our nervous systems, how animals have been attending to their trauma and had because of our mindset and because of things we talk about patriarchy, white supremacy and on and on colonization, all the things that have kept us in boxes and how those things traumatize us individually and collectively. So how do we seek liberation? [00:05:44] In the camps while holding space to get out of the camps. How do rats, how do we open to liberation in the prison of our trauma? Wow. Walking our way out of that trauma to the best of our ability. [00:06:02] I guess I'm curious to know in what way have you been released from a concentration camp since Stephen died? [00:06:10] Such a great question. Well. The love was liberated. The mental illness and his trauma. [00:06:22] Played into my own trauma when I lost my daughter's father and it was in a very traumatic so circumstance and what it did was it triggered my trauma and I started getting panic attacks. I stopped performing my own. One woman shows I became afraid to speak about my life publicly onstage when that had been my art form before. And I became terrified that something would happen to my daughter. It felt life or death to me. [00:06:57] When I saw what happened to Schizophrenic's, what I saw, there was no Stephen unknown in his eyes. [00:07:05] And he was trying to strangle me on my daughter's fourth birthday. And it was that was not who he was in any shape or form. You know, I said to you earlier. He was the least racist. Most feminists that I knew about in the best sense of the word, the least homophobic, white, cis straight man I ever met. He was truly committed to social justice. [00:07:29] He had been an anti-apartheid advocate when when he was in Berkeley as a young man. And he was just so about justice and about love. But when I lost him and this is the help mental illness, when you're on the other side of it and of course, for the person is we lose the ability to access. [00:07:51] But what happened was that trauma cut off my voice. [00:07:55] And like I was saying to you, as soon as he died, there was total grief. I smashed my finger really hard that night and had to go to the emergency room the night before. He jumped that night, that same night. And I smash my grandmother's wedding ring that I always wore the diamonds into my finger and it was bleeding and had to be cut off by the doctor. And a few hours later he'd jumped and there was some kind of cosmic connection. But and I screamed when when that finger was hurt, I screamed like this, this hellacious scream that I only remember screaming twice before and once had to do with his suicide attempt before. [00:08:44] Oh, wow. So. I think we're all cosmically connected. I know it, I know it in my being. I. [00:08:55] I think the support from the other side of the veil is greater than it's ever been teaching us, showing me personally that the connection and the love is always there. [00:09:07] All the ancestral work, both you and I have done all the personal healing work. I like to come to that the love is always there and that we can move back and forth the Brit across the bridge. And I love what Victus Franco says and Elie Wiesel to a different story. [00:09:23] But this thing of the opportunity of the present moment, even in the worst of circumstances, to me that's radical radical resilience. So how in 2020, you know, the year people are calling the hell a year. [00:09:40] How can we restore it to see the incredible opportunities to be in service to each other, to love each other more at this time? [00:09:52] Well, it's interesting. As I hear you talk, one of the ways that I wonder about. This restoring for you and for me, I met Stephen. Fortunately knew him before his mental illness. Yeah. You know, set sat in. One of the things that strikes me is that you refer to him as the father of your daughter. He was your husband. And I remember that hit me when you told me that he died, that he suicided. [00:10:25] I remember at 4:00, as sad as I was for your daughter, I was sad for you because you lost a husband who you divorced only because of his mental his untreated mental illness. You didn't divorce Steven. You divorced his mental illness. [00:10:47] It's a very interesting thing you are saying. [00:10:52] And because I was thinking yesterday, I mean, I wrote something up and I said, I don't have a problem. [00:11:02] With white people, I have a problem with whiteness. I don't have a problem. [00:11:08] I never did with Stephen. I have the problem with mental illness. [00:11:11] If we can separate out the toxicity, whether it's individual or cultural, and of course, it's not just toxicity that sounds so harsh. [00:11:21] It's a byproduct of trauma. All of it. [00:11:24] Well, and because of that, every race has that trauma, which absolutely watching that makes it really hard and how we language all of this. Right. [00:11:35] It's why I'm reading this book right now, my grandmother's hands. [00:11:38] And it's about racialized trauma and the pathways to mending our hearts and bodies. And it talks about the different things we need to do if we're in white bodies versus black bodies because it's all DNA memory from our own clusters. [00:11:53] And that's different. It takes on a different tone and tenor. [00:11:59] That's right. That makes a lot of sense to me. [00:12:02] You know, just like schizophrenia takes on a different tenor than somebody who loses somebody to drug addiction or somebody who loses somebody to cancer. There's all there's a loss and all those things. But there's a different human story right attached to it, which is why, once again, the thing you and I talk about the as above so below path. [00:12:25] But yes. And Steven was my husband. He was my best friend for sure. We shared values in a profound way, which was the only reason I agreed to have a child with him. I wasn't sure I wanted a child. I wasn't one of those women that always knew they'd have a child. It was his idea. And I was 32 when I got pregnant and. [00:12:53] The love once again is released and I feel him helping me. You were the one that said to me it's like after 19 years of losing him to mental illness. [00:13:04] I got the FA. I got the other parent back. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. You have him back? [00:13:11] I have him back as the other parent. And I do want to say that was always more our natural relationship was friendship and co parent. [00:13:20] It wasn't some big love affair on either side. There was love, but we felt familial immediately when we met. We felt so deeply familial. And in many ways I'd say, yeah, definitely like co parents and best friends. And so that's the honest energy of us. And I can own the honest energy of us because I think we spent a lot of time. We had problems besides his schizophrenia. That was what took us down. [00:13:52] But there was definitely a trying to make our relationship a big love affair, and it wasn't. [00:14:01] And so there's something to about like that was conflict in our relationship that had nothing to do with his mental illness. [00:14:06] We were great co parents and best friends. And we have a beautiful daughter together, a beautiful, brilliant daughter. [00:14:17] So I wonder, what is the relationship? I mean, I'm not saying there's an answer to this, because the most profound wisdom is I think at these in these days is held in the unknown. But I guess I want to skirt the edges of an inquiry which is feeling into the relationship between covered and Stevens, the timing of Stevens death. [00:14:40] Well, then I want to hear from you. The relationship between Kofod and everything that's changed in your life because, yes, like, well, people are saying 20-20 right is the worst year, the year from hell. And I would say through the Ecos lens. [00:14:57] That's the truth. [00:14:59] I mean, from the souls lands and from the long stories lands, because that's what we're here for, right? The long story, my friend and teacher, right now, produ taffin talks all the time about the long story of the soul and all the threads past, present, future, quantum time, no matter what's going on in the body now. [00:15:23] So in the long story, I feel like 2020 is a blessing. I could never say it will be a blessing that my daughter's father was in that much pain and that he had to end his life, felt he had to end his life that way. [00:15:41] But the the liberation that I feel personally and that that knowing he is also free of that suffering, there's like I feel like there's an outbreath. [00:15:53] And I was talking with his mother about it like that we're all taking an outbreath cause and eat and, you know, like we know how the story ends now. And there's something holding with that that's so hard. I think it's a metaphor for this time. [00:16:07] The tension part of what the tension of those 19 years did teach me was holding with the tension, not knowing the ending of the story. And it's hard to hold with that tension. [00:16:22] And then the story changed, right? It didn't really. And it changed. [00:16:28] Yeah, well, it reminds me of the living dead. I mean, I think it's that way with people, you know, who have Alzheimer's or dementia. [00:16:35] Yes. Yes. People with with severe mental illness, untreated mental illness. [00:16:41] People with, you know, late stage substance abuse addiction. I think it's like the person left a long time ago. And so what you are left with is this body that is acting things out in certain ways and a voice that may still sound like them. And, of course, their soul is still there in some way. [00:17:01] But the relationship that we had was interrupted. [00:17:08] Exactly. And and they become unavailable for a long time for the relationship. And it's actually in the release of the body that the love, the availability comes back. So for me, in terms of 20/20. Right, so many deaths. [00:17:24] And I think we're seeing like. The death culture we live in, the extreme materialism, the extreme pressure on us all to do something. Be something the. My God, the struggles, you know, and where it's taken us at this moment in humanity around the big issues and that the intimacy issues. So I don't know. But I just know you have for me that there's a clarity. [00:17:59] And I have my voice back in a way, and I feel him supporting me. And so what happens? Like Victor Frankl in the camps. What happens when the worst happens? And there is still this opportunity. For incredible blessing through connection, right? That's what can't be taken if we have connection with ourselves and with each other. [00:18:26] I think that's been the silver lining for me, even though the process has been hard, very hard at times, is that it's forced me inward, right? It's like I was traveling a lot. I had a lot of ways in which I was had developed really sophisticated coping mechanisms for some things that were difficult for me to face. [00:18:46] And. [00:18:48] And we all do that. Right. I mean, it's not a bad thing. That's like kind of some part of human brilliance is that we we find our ways. Right. [00:18:56] And and then to be someone who loves to travel and loves to engage with a lot of people. [00:19:02] And then here I am. And my you know, I mean, what is it? [00:19:06] It's like maybe 14 by 14 foot office where I spend most of my time. And so it has definitely driven me inside of myself. [00:19:18] And. [00:19:20] I have to be careful, right, that I don't get lost. [00:19:23] But I also feel like, you know, we've been moving into such a different direction in our culture. Right. [00:19:31] We've been doing this inflationary move for so long around, get bigger, get louder, be more visible. Right. And I feel like something's happened for me where I'm going into this reverse place and I'm finally I'm fine. And it's happening organically. It's not been something I've contemplated. It just is happening because of the circumstances. But it's become so deep for me that it's like I'm going. [00:20:00] I'm going into almost like a gestational phase. And I think it's really good. I mean, I think that that's really the blessing of it. Right. [00:20:09] It's and it's amazing. And you and I talked about it's almost like we're like the sliding doors because I realize her to me really went small and small for me. Doesn't necessarily look like small for somebody else. Like somebody could look at me and say, that's not small, that's big. But for me, I contained for 19 years and it was a big deal when I stopped performing and felt a lot of fear about what had always come naturally to me and what I'd been trained in as an actor. [00:20:40] And I know that right now, as you're going in, my call is to show up with my team now in the world and to lean all the way and with my voice and what I learned and what I've integrated. And all of a sudden there's a congruency in my voice that hasn't been there before. There was like fragmented. [00:21:02] I had parts of myself, but I actually feel that I have my whole self back. Maybe for the first time since I was a young child. [00:21:14] You know, it's interesting when I think about because you said you lost your voice when Steven's mental illness came as to play, right? Yeah. [00:21:20] And I think that there are many ways which in which the soul can become entangled. And it's not just past and future can be in the present. [00:21:29] But it almost makes me wonder if part of you. [00:21:34] Was occupying a space with Steven. And that that's part of where your voice went, was sort of in accompanying him in a way where he was at. Like, could there have been almost some kind of an entanglement in the present moment? That isn't about time, but it is about space and conditions, right? [00:21:53] Yes, there totally was. And you're so intuitive to ask that question, because what I got. And I haven't said to anybody out loud was when he tried to strangle me because his schizophrenia had kicked in. He was looking in my eyes and tried to strangle me and kill me on my daughter's fourth birthday. Somebody had to stop driving by and pull them off. And from my point of view, there was no conflict. Then I looked in his eyes that I went, Oh, Steven's gone mad. There's no Steven there. Nobody. He didn't have his diagnosis shed. Nobody believed me. But I knew there was something that was. I'm a cop, cautious with my words here, because it's not going to sound maybe politically correct, but there was an energy in him that was very. [00:22:47] Evil. It looks like a demon to me. And I met its gaze cause it was a Steven, I met this energies gaze and. The night Stephen died, when I set my finger was smashed and I yelled. There was that energy came out of me in the scream. [00:23:14] And it scared my scared my current husband. And I felt it come through my eyes. [00:23:20] And I looked up, said like Steven looked at me and I was like some part of me. I swallowed part of the energy perhaps for him. And it was suppressing me. [00:23:35] I mean, it was wild. And then when I when I heard about his death, I knew immediately the energy that had come out of me the night before that. [00:23:44] Like in quantum time before he jumped, I was released from that energy. [00:23:50] It makes a lot of sense and, you know, it's interesting because in one of the traditions I work in schizophrenia because of schizophrenia is an identification with both the victim and the perpetrator. [00:24:04] Well, Steven told me getting back to the Holocaust, I had a very, very strong belief and a past life memory that I was put to death in the camps as a Jewish pope, Polish woman. Steven had a very strong belief that he was a guard, a Nazi guard in the camps. [00:24:24] Really? Well, what's really interesting, when we think back on Victor Frankl, he that's well, that was his sanity. Was that. [00:24:32] He didn't identify with the perpetrators. He also didn't identify with the victims. He stayed, Victor. [00:24:41] So, like, how do we remain who we are amidst all of the turmoil is happening in the world and stay ourselves when we when we identify with the victim or the perpetrator. [00:24:54] It's like we don't even recognize that we literally have stepped in to some kind of like a toxic field. [00:25:04] Perdita would call it a puddle. [00:25:07] She calls it like we step in the puddle of our issue and our ancestral issue, perhaps. And certainly for me. [00:25:15] That has happened with particularly my activist self, like Around Black Lives Matter. And my relationship to really decolonizing myself and whiteness. But there was a point when I over identified with black women's pain. And then when we when I realized when I did that I was out of my power. I was actually out of even being useful to them. And it was I was re traumatizing myself. I also wasn't in deep relationship then. And you could always tell. I could always tell on social media, like white women who are just sort of like I just want to say kissing ass to black women. [00:25:54] And they're they're out of their power. They just think, now I've got to give all my power away. [00:26:00] I can't. And when the reality is it's not an intimate relationship unless we can actually address these things and talk about them. Right. So there's so many ways, so many puddles. [00:26:13] We can step in and be outside of our integrity, around the power we do carry. And being honest about it because of our overidentification with the victim or the perpetrator. And I do think in our culture we celebrate overidentification with victimhood. It's really hard to support ourselves in each other and standing actually and owning our full power. Right. And you and I have talked about the self victim. [00:26:39] Identifying with the victim leads to entitlement and then we become the perpetrator. Right. I mean, it really is. They really are on the same continuum. Yes. They're not separate continuums. They're completely related. [00:26:51] It's a different paradigm. And they we move back and forth between victim, perpetrator and inner victim, outer victim, inner perpetrator out of victim. Right. It's a different paradigm to say I'm here. I'm here with my ancestors. I'm here. I'm right. Relationships are willing to become right. [00:27:08] Relationship with everybody. Right. I mean, and it's messy. I do want to say it's not a linear process in my experience. Right. [00:27:17] Right. [00:27:19] So what else do you want to say about 2020, 20-20, like, what is your what is your wisdom? Like, if you had to distill it of like what you've gotten so far from this year and perhaps your hope moving forward, I think. [00:27:37] One of the things that's happened for me is that I've given myself permission to really have more limitation, like in awe. [00:27:50] It's almost like the pathway to me for me to unfold in my fullness is by saying, knowing when to say no and knowing when to say yes, that there is no price like the price of leaving part of myself behind is not negotiable now. That's become a reason. And that's a real shift inside of me. That is, it's changing me. And I would also say that I've. [00:28:17] I feel like I have cut I've come into contact with the intelligence of love and not just the love between people, but the intelligence of love. And I really feel like for me, that's. [00:28:36] It's not only the gift, it's like I'm waking up to something that I've always known. Mm hmm. So what Cobbett, what the pandemic and what all of this has done for me in getting more in touch with myself is it's actually more of a remembering than a learning something new. Right. It's detaching from all the distractions that kept me, you know, spending more time on the level of persona than the level of soul. Yeah, totally. [00:29:05] How about you? [00:29:09] I think this time has really awakened me to embodying. [00:29:16] Myself and has confronted my own spiritual bypass, my desire to spiritual bypass or do emotional bypass and really land more in my body land and become more human. [00:29:35] I feel like like containment is my medicine because I've been able to express myself throughout my life despite saying I lost part of my voice. [00:29:48] That's true. And I've still been able to express more than contain. So everything is about simplicity, structure. And that's to me, the sacred masculine I'm bringing in to the relationship with the divine feminine. I'm feel. [00:30:07] Much more whole from coming through this year. [00:30:10] And and great fall like for the expiated lessons of this year, because I know we have to learn now as a species, not individually only, but as a species in quantum time, because there is no time with everything that's happening in the big cosmic narratives. And my hope going forward is, you know, one of the things I've been saying to my clients is how are we going to write news stories of the culture? [00:30:40] I think it's now about getting smaller, not bigger. And why smaller? I mean, more intimate. [00:30:48] I do, too. Hundred percent sharing our deepest, most intimate stories and making the unspeakable, unspeakable. And moving past shame. Right. That's how we're going to. Those are the news stories said the old stories. They're also the news stories going deeper in that connection. [00:31:09] Sounds like we're moving, huh? Things are moving and shifting and. As always, it's a privilege to be here. I feel. [00:31:20] Yeah, this one feels important. That's all I'll say. Mm hmm. [00:31:24] Thanks, everybody, for listening. Yeah. Thanks, everyone, for being with us. [00:31:33] Thank you for joining Camille and Tanya for this episode of Restoring the Culture. If you were inspired, we would deeply appreciate it if you would leave a review on iTunes or any other platform where you heard our podcast. For more ongoing inspiration and support, please join our no cost global Facebook community. Restoring the culture. You can support that podcast by making a donation here. And remember, we are each restoring the culture as we reach story. Our own lives. See you next time.

In Episode #15, Camille and Tanya discuss the relationship between love, desire, money, and business. They reclaim the playful, fun, attractive energy of money that comes from a space of abundance rather than scarcity. When our business model is based on love and our work is aligned with our personal purpose and values, we are not just financially stable, but abundant and thriving. Despite what our culture tells us, we do not have to do business alone. We can decolonize business by supporting others and allowing them to support us. Tanya and Camille share recent revelations (which came to them on the same day!) about re-storying their businesses as circular/communal rather than linear/hierarchical, effectively rewriting their business models as love stories. “When I let myself and my desires lead in the world, I allow myself to be seen in a way where money comes back to me to serve the mission and the purpose.” -Tanya Taylor Rubinstein   Episode Transcript [00:00:01] Restoring the Culture is hosted by Tanya Taylor, Rubins Steele Story mentor, and Camille Adair, family constellation facilitator. [00:00:11] In this podcast, these long term friends explore how stories servi lives. Their inquiry meanders into the realms of science, theater, health and consciousness, moving the individual and global narratives forward as they draw upon their relationship as the laboratory for their experiments. In true, so many of us feel isolated and alone in our deepest longings. [00:00:38] Each one of us is necessary and rediscovering the truth of our human story and listening to what is calling us forward so that we can read story the culture together. [00:00:51] Welcome to Restoring the Culture today. Tonya and I are going to be talking about restoring business, and I'm going to start with a quote by Lynn Twist, who wrote the book, The Soul of Money. [00:01:04] There are no haves and have nots. We are all haves and our assets are diverse in the alchemy of collaboration. [00:01:13] We become equal partners. We create wholeness and sufficiency for everyone. [00:01:21] I'd love to hear your thoughts on it, Tanya. Well, thanks for this topic today. [00:01:26] I mean, yeah, it's amazing to me that it's taken us so long to get here since I think this is, what, our 14th or 15th podcasts. And yet our lives in many ways have been consumed by our business because it's the container, right, for each of our callings. Purpose, you know, passion. I love Lynne Twist's quote. [00:01:50] I met her many years ago at Bioneers, and I know she's been at you, Pyaar, here in Santa Fe. I mean, I love that because. [00:02:00] I think on a deep spiritual level, there's a sense of we are all haves are worth. It's not based on money. Our worth is is. [00:02:13] Valued beyond being qualified or quantified in any way. But I love this piece of that in the spirit of collaboration. When each of us is in our right place and when we're able as leaders to facilitate others as well as ourselves into our right place, the incredible magic and alchemy, empowerment, sharing of resources, redistribution of resources that can happen from that place. [00:02:48] And what a beautiful way of talking about equity and inclusion. [00:02:55] And I would add to that love, because I've had a recent recognition and a very deep recognition about myself, that really it's as if I'm married. You know, we talk about being married to our work and that there's such a negative connotation to that. Your terms of being a workaholic? That's not what I'm talking about. But when your purpose and why you're here, it comes through in a business container. That's a sacred thing. And I feel a lot of love entering into my work and the people that I work with. It's almost like there is an alchemical element that love brings in when you mix love. And I know this is gonna sound strange, but I've been thinking about this for a long time. Something about the energy of love and the energy of money. Because money is currency like electricity. It's relational. And, you know, I've been talking about hot pink money and I've written about it. And there is a very feminine quality to money that and as currency as exchange that has been co-opted and made dirty. Right. [00:04:09] We think of dirty money and all the things, but that's very overlapping call. [00:04:13] Totally. And I think what we're talking about with restoring business is when business is it's also personal, like absolutely separate from each other. [00:04:27] I mean, I couldn't agree more. And I've never resonated with being a workaholic. I work a lot. I might want to work more or more like I might spend my whole life working. [00:04:38] And there's nothing wrong with me. You know, I don't. I don't. [00:04:42] And I really I mean, because I have such a deep calling passion. I'm excited. I wake up in the morning at five thirty in the morning. Sometimes I'm awake at 3:00 in the morning because I have a vision to bring story to the world, to serve, to serve more and more people in sharing their stories, because I'm so in love with the process of stories. But also, you know, that excites me more than going to Hawaii or going to Italy. Not that those things aren't wonderful once in a while, but I feel so blessed because my passion resides inside of me. And I know we share this. [00:05:17] And when I think about money, too, and when money arrives for me as a beautiful support of resource, for me to support others, for me to support my life, my daughter's life, my husband's life, creative projects, social justice, things that I'm passionate about, being able to also just enjoy taking my friends like you out to dinner or to or when we do do a little getaway. All those things I've come to think of money as attach money comes to me and my business. And yes, they're linked from love. And also very specifically from desire. The more I let myself have what I desire. Meaning connections with people. Meaning sexuality. Meaning food. Meaning speaking exactly the way I want to without editing myself when I let myself and my desires lead in the world. I allow myself to be seen in a way where, you know, money just comes back to me to serve the mission and the purpose. So there's a whole relational thing when I'm shut down and not in touch with my desires or trying to tamp myself down or not or big. Not giving myself support, having enough team, having enough other collaborators. That's when the money channel shuts off. And it's also when I get depressed or get feel isolated or cut off from a part of myself. I think I just want to say that this. [00:07:03] We're not talking about amount of money because there are only our people in the world who who really are suffering because they don't have enough of this currency. And what I want to say is I don't want to do any kind of like a spiritual bypass by not recognizing that. But what I want to. I totally agree with you. And I want to say that it's I think what you're saying is like money is relational. There is a currency. It's energetic. It's it's energetic. And I will never forget when I was I had led a constellation. And this was several years ago and it was in my house and it was something happened that's never happened before, which was because it's usually like with a lot of healing gatherings and modalities, it's often women that show up. Well. I was facilitating and it was all men. There wasn't one. I was the only woman. And somebody wanted to do a constellation about their business. And so we ended up bringing money in and we were short on representatives and on occasion, the facilitator will step in to represent something. So I did that. And when I became money, it was so incredible to just feel what it felt like to be money, because I simply was pure relation. I was relational. I was going to whoever could see me value you, who could see me, who could value me, who wanted to be in relationship with me. I felt almost a little bit seductive. [00:08:38] Not not sexual, but I felt like it. Like you're saying, there was an element of desire there. Like there was this kind of like free flowing, abundant feeling. And I wanted to play and I wanted to play with as many people who wanted to play with me. Like, the more the merrier it was. [00:08:57] I just love that totally. And I don't mean it at all. Anything I was saying is bypassed. [00:09:03] For me it's more about like when I shut off my power or we shut off our channels of power. I think it's it's just something we're not available. Right. And it's totally relationship relational. As you said, it's available to other people and we're in a collapse or or or money or opportunity. I think it's actually all relational. So where are my out with myself in relationship to this? And then how do I allow these things to flow in to support my purpose and vision in my business? And what structures do I use for that? Because I think that's the diff. They are not the opposite. But the the companion piece is then with what structures are we allowing these energies to play? Well, and I know we want to go there in this conversation, but what you just said is reminding me of a couple things. [00:10:01] First of all, that money is connected to. The same shocker that sexuality and creativity are. It takes me back to what you were saying about being in your power. And I think that's being grounded in that root chakra area of personal power. And when we're disconnected from our personal power, it's like the money, the creativity, the sexuality. It's like the valve is shut down prior to turn down. And you and I have had over the years, because we've seen it both in in both of our work in different ways. But it's been such a common thread between us is how much people who have a trust fund have been cut off from personal power. We see it so many times. You see it in and in people's writing and their process. And I see it so much in Constellation work. [00:11:00] Yeah. And even in relationship to money, I feel that. I mean, it's a disservice I. It's so interesting, too, because they also have to deal with the dual projection of everybody thinks they have it like made because they have a trust fund. [00:11:15] So there's resentment that was often projected on that person. But if you think about it, there is a sense of and I'm not talking about I mean, of course, it's a tremendous privilege to have some kind of family trust or with no right inheritance, but to have a trust fund that. In some ways, it's a message of I can't trust you to be in your own power and take care of yourself. It's a message from the family that you're going to always need to be helped. And so I find women in particular a few times, men who have this. There's a sense of. I'm not powerful. I'm not strong. I can't make my own money or this wouldn't. It's a whole trip around money, right, where supposedly it's from a place of privilege. And yet from that privilege comes a weakening of the individual's access to their own full body strength rather than a support. Of course, there's times when this is not the case. Of course, there are times when people take it and go start an amazing venture business. But so often it's more in my experience, it squashes the voice or there's a sense of confusion. And I'd love to hear what the field to show about this. [00:12:38] What I've seen in the Constellation work and the knowing field is that the family soul gets disrupted because people become confused between the money that was left and their lineage. They think that the money is their lineage and the money will never be their ancestral lineage. But there's confusion about it. And what I've seen happen is that when that is clarified or acknowledged and the orders of love are put in in their right order in the field, the people, the ancestors are so relieved that they're actually being taken as the ancestors, as the lineage connected and lineage instead of connected in money. So, Carla, money is energy, but it isn't soul. [00:13:30] It's not soul. And that's then we get confused. Well, and in Western culture and in patriarchal systems or any oppressive system, what is God? God is money. That is not the soul. God does not God. God is money. Right. So the confusion because of then the projection on money, that rather being a beautiful divine resource to support our lives and the lives of all on the planet, that it is something that needs to be hoarded, that it needs to be clung to, that is scarce to get. So we get it. We must hang on to rather that and that energy you were talking about, which was it wanted to have fun, it wanted to be wanted and it was available and relational with all who were available to it. [00:14:16] And I mean and I think that brings me back to the because sexuality is not just what we think it is, right. We've done some weird things with sexuality. I mean, it can be it can be sensuality. It can be playful. It can be fuller. A little flirtatious. Right. Sexuality is about being alive. [00:14:34] And so sexuality can be expressed in so many different ways that line up with creativity and line up with and support that currency of of money. [00:14:47] And it does come from the same place that we don't always recognize that. I think it can come in so many forms. I remember a long time ago I was performing in a play. I was in my late 20s and I was in a committed, monogamous relationship with my daughter's father. And I became very attracted to my costar in the show. [00:15:10] And I was kind of flirting around with wanting to have, I don't know, kiss him. [00:15:16] I don't know. I didn't really want to leave my partner, but there was a thing there and we clearly both felt it. [00:15:22] And I was able to speak with my daughter's dad about it, who I was in relationship with. And he said something very wise to me because he was a wise person. Yeah, he was a wise pend. [00:15:34] He said to me, he said, well, you know, is it possible that you just have such a powerful, creative connection with Joe that the energetic is just so much excitement and you can really fully channel that brilliance into the role? And as soon as he said that, I went Bingo! And it was like all that energy I wanted to project on him. Like sexual, I have total affair. It's going to be a thing between me and my guy. He was able to actually help me reframe that. And I've been doing that reframe ever since. So sometimes when I'm attracted to somebody or outside of my partnership, I'll ask myself, am I interested really in a romantic connection with this person or is this is about a creative connection? Is this about a playful connection? Is this are two inner children want to hang out together? And over the years that has served me really well. But sometimes it is it's like this well of energy and then that perhaps we have more of a choice than we think we do. How to focus it? [00:16:42] Well, and we don't have leaders. We're not taught most of us growing up the how to handle those energies. [00:16:50] Yeah. And we're afraid of them. And we think they're just going to take us over, ruin our business. We're going to have these dramas and we see it happens all the time in leadership and politics, in organizations and in families with children and teenagers. [00:17:04] Right. I mean, we really get it in adolescence when our hormones are going. [00:17:07] And really, there's no there are no wisdom leaders to, like, teach us how to to think about and work with those powerful energies which which, you know, really I mean, it takes me back to kind of like the. [00:17:24] The relationship between love and shame, because when all of that can be allowed to belong, right, it can rest in this field of love where everything has its place. And then we get to have access to our full humanity. Shame is, I feel like shame and trauma are so connected that our shame based culture has really traumatized us. I think we actually and that takes me to kind of what what I've been working on in the field of mental health and Kofod is that I actually think there's there's so much shame in splitting happening right now rather than people coming together and feeling a sense of love and solidarity in the face of the challenges that we're facing and that there are all these diverse ways of relating to it, but that in the end, it's something that we share. We're all human and we're all vulnerable. We're all going to think about it a little bit differently, but that we have taken our trauma, our collective trauma, and it's driving us into these places of shame, creating bigger division. And when that happens, it's like we almost shut down the alchemical process. And I want to go back to the original quote when all those elements can be there. That's when the alchemical process can start to heat up and cook. But we have been taught to to shut those things down because we don't know what that is. We don't know how to handle it. We don't know. [00:18:52] Well, it's a big energy to be willing to lean into and let it run through your body, too. Right. [00:18:57] We shut those big energies down all the time instead of knowing that they're natural and normal and that they aren't us. [00:19:05] Right. They're running through us. And I just it's really sad. I'm starting to think about, you know, Paul Zak's work, the neuro economist about and I've talked about him on this podcast before and his work with trust and and close bonded, intimate relationships. Right. That oxytocin is produced in safe, intimate connection and that that oxytocin is what produces trust and that the the countries that have the highest levels of trust are the most economically sound. So it takes us full circle almost. We can track it spiritually. We can track it from a neuro biological standpoint and economically. [00:19:50] And it ties into economics. So it actually takes me back to that place of money as part of nature. [00:19:56] And it is relational in relationship with everything. [00:20:00] And nature is is relational. Everything has its place in its process. But we're so afraid of our own nature that we've shut it down. [00:20:10] And and I do believe that we are having, like, unprecedented collective trauma and I think unprecedented collective liberation, both because at the same time, I feel I mean, I'm definitely in touch with people every day who are liberating, who are really breaking free right now from old stories. It's that radical energy and the collective it is to me. What's what's been breaking out of the box and the fact that we've gotten our backs so up against the wall here in America in particular, like our backs are so up against the wall. Something's got to break. And it's a liberatory energy that is breaking through. Doesn't. We don't know what that's going to look like or how it's going to play out, but. [00:21:01] Well, let's talk about how it's playing out for us, because we you and I both are having some profound liberation. And, yes, in this time of isolation. Right. We've been driven inside and that's creating its own alchemical, you know, process. [00:21:18] And it is and and we're deepening certain relationships. So we're in isolation, but not in isolation, very much in relationship with each other and others in our sphere. [00:21:27] Exactly. So, yeah, I mean, you and I have both had recent sort of breakthroughs around our business models. I mean, really literally. And within 48 hours or the same day. [00:21:38] The same day, actually, it was the same day. It was this Monday. It was. That's incredible. Why did you talk about what your says being what is moving into an I can do the same. That we can sort of compare notes? [00:21:51] Well, I you know, I, I have a training program in systemic family constellation therapy or constellation work. And that's work that started in Germany and has, you know, some roots in South Africa and was brought to Santa Fe by the person who taught me. And I took it to Nashville. And I've been invited to to bring it to New Orleans. And so I have been teaching and training and leading workshops for four years and. Blossoming like this. It's the time, this is the time for this work, and it hit me because it's blossoming in such a beautiful way. And I thought I started having this. It was almost like a dream, like a daydream. It was actually not even that. [00:22:41] It felt like a love story. Like if I just really call it what it is, felt like a love story. And I don't know how a business model can be a love story, but mine is. So the people I've been working with who are in my training group, some of them have been with me for four years and three of them are just getting ready to graduate. So they feel like family to me and they're people that I trust. And we've gone through a lot together. I've grown, they've grown. We've certainly grown together. And and I just thought, you know, they can all go out and start their own businesses and they can become, you know, however they want to apply the work and maybe some of them will end up becoming trainers. And that's all fine. But there is a fundamental gap that I see in healing work where there can be this element of competition that comes in and people aren't they don't play fair or friendly. [00:23:33] There's a lot of envy and jealousy. And I started thinking, how could love go to that place? Right. And I so we did actually Constellation work around it. And I was expressing to them this my dream, which is my love story for my businesses that have become like a co-op or any sort of employee stock option plan, which is that you you become part of the owner of the company as you put time in and you work in it. So you're invested in it. And the decisions are made by the group. Right. And it was so incredible for me when I was able to voice this, because all of a sudden I realized, you know, one of my you know, you've talked about the zone of genius. And that came up for me when I was managing a hospice where I you know, when I took this hospice over, there were nine patients. And in 18 months, we had 73 patients without marketing. And it was all because it was so inclusive. And I worked as a nurse and an advocate on a business level. And I loved them and I loved the patients. But it wasn't about competing with other organizations. It was about how can this be sustainable and holistic in a way where if I really look at the staff and I'm their advocate, they're going to go out and they're gonna do this incredible work. And that's what happened. It was word of mouth, right? I mean, I had nurses knocking on the door begging to work there because I negotiated caseload Max's, you know, and so that they actually, you know, weren't killing themselves, serving dying people. [00:25:10] I mean, yes, my gosh. Totally. [00:25:13] You know, but it was one of the best experiences of my life. I was good at it. And all of a sudden now I'm in this place where I'm like, oh, wow, if I actually had a team and we could work together through love in that way of deep service. [00:25:29] And we really share. I just feel like I. That part of me. [00:25:36] I can feel it coming back. And it's interesting that it doesn't come back in my solo business. I don't have a lot of juice to, like, be famous or to be the best constellation facilitator or to be known for something. Right. But that is what drives me. What drives me is to apply the Constellation work to business and actually do it differently, that we actually become the work we do. [00:26:01] We do. We're not just offering the work. We become the workload. So I'd love to hear yours. Your story about how it and your epiphany on the same day. [00:26:11] I was crazy, but amazing. Well, I took. I mean, what I love that you said is how could a business model be a love story? I want to say, how can it not be? Maybe this is the restoring. I think it is restoring. Restoring is the business model is the love story. So, as you know well, I partnered with different people on projects. I was a solo entrepreneur for years with one business assistant. And now I have this team. But it's really a family business. It's a chosen family business, you know. And that will be what I would call my team. It's we're multigenerational. We're diverse. We're male and female. We are where somebody on the team who is almost 30 years younger than me, who I'm also mentoring. But and she offers so much. And you hope the person who's running my operations and stepping into that role, but also we're not doing something super binary where he's just that because he's also a gifted therapist, you know, and comes out of both a business background and a social work background. So he'll be doing some facilitating with groups as well. [00:27:30] You know, we met on Match.com 12 years ago when we were both going through a divorce, remember, and navigated a dear friendship where now he, you know, lives in Nashville. [00:27:41] And so for me, I've just always had a vision of people in circles, on stages all over the world sharing their stories. And now the stages are online and on circles on Zoome and they will again be on stages around the world are circles of people on groups. But to me, story is the most powerful, most accessible and underutilized art form. And we're literally human animals wired for story and it changes everything. So for me to make this process accessible on a really large level and the way it could really impact in the way that's always been my vision. I've had to surrender to being deeply held, which underneath I realize I have always desired. So I embedded myself, have my desire of being held and helped by others and letting others who know how to create structure for me create that. And that's something I remember hearing from a marketing guru person years ago, money, love, structure. So I'm not a structure person except when it comes to story, you know. But this is a business structure where I'm surrendering and letting others around me hold me but build structures that hold me and can hold our students and clients. And all of this. And, you know, it's a it's a place for me to actually actualize not only my vision, but my values of diversity and equity and inclusion age wise, you know, race wise, gender wise. And my team now has somebody, you know, in the Philippines, my my team is is grown. So now I have invited in more black coaches, you know. So it's me a my way to live my values. And that's my love stories. And we're set up to be much more profitable than we could have ever been alone. We just had our first launch, you know, as a team, you know. And it was I don't know, I'm not good at math, but what we brought in 10 days is what would be equivalent to what I'd normally bring in three months myself and an assistant and sort of the do it yourself model. So and that's the part about getting financially not just stable but abundant and thriving, I think, by standing in our right place. We talk a lot about that in Constellation work and even in the story work. What is our right place? Where? Everybody is moving and flowing with what they love and what they desire, and the desire is to do well and do the work from a high quality place because it aligns with what they love and what their gifts are versus the sort of work around. So that's what's bubbling up, you know, for me. And I'm just so grateful. And it's been a long, hard road and walk to get here because these business models we're speaking of aren't so accessible, at least in the circle of healers and artists that I know. [00:31:05] Well, I was I, you know, was involved with a score and I had a square mentor for, I think four years and an attorney, you know you know, the CEO of a hospital. You know, he was a much more traditional business person. They both had great hearts. Yeah. These models weren't part of how they teach people to be in business. And, you know, we talked a little bit earlier about humility, about how we serve as leaders, that to be a true leader, you're actually kind of serving from the bottom up, right? It's this thing if you push people up, because when you push them up year, like, we then become the tree trunk. And as we get closer to dying, we move into the roots of the tree. And then we get to have all those branches out there, not only in our family lineage, but also in our business lineage. And I mean, my vision for myself is really that. We can train people in their own neighborhoods to do this work, that this is grassroots. That there are people all over the world. Yes. Trained really well, not just a weekend or a little six month training program. [00:32:19] But this is like a true mentorship program, right, where you you learn a new it's like learning a new language. It doesn't happen overnight. [00:32:29] No, of course not. No depth based worked. [00:32:31] It doesn't. But to for people to be able to take it in their own neighborhoods and communities, that's really my vision. I love that. And because so many people are like, oh, I'm I'm the expert in this. And I go in and I work with and I'm just realizing as we're talking, that I think in a way and I'm not even conscious of it, but I think my soul is so driven to do this because it's my way of decolonizing business. [00:32:58] Yeah, totally. I use that phrase today was. So did you. Yes. I said the word decolonizing business where decolonizing are stories about maintenace. [00:33:07] Yeah, I think we really are. Because when we colonized business, we want to be the expert. We want to be the. Yes. I've known. We want to take it over and it's lonely. [00:33:16] I mean, it's lonely and it isn't sustainable. It it is in it. And it feeds the ego. [00:33:22] And I always found it lonely. I didn't want it. But also sometimes from a scarcity place, we don't know there's an option because there are good options. It was like I never even thought I'd run a business. And yet here I am. Here you are, you know, running our own businesses. But this is the feminine thing to the circles of people supporting circles of people. And again, that's the indigenous sway circles, supporting circles, supporting circles of Cuba. [00:33:48] Right. And I did a constellation with my group for the training and sort of, you know, the some of the lineage of the training. And one of the things that came up was that we were creating a circle lineage, not a line leny, a tribe. And when we when the Constellation ended up in a circle, that's when everyone was happy and in their own place. Otherwise, there was competition in the lineage that meant there was competition. Of course there was. Yeah. Like, I want to be the one in for this. This one representing this thing wanted to be the one in front. Didn't want the the new one to be in front of them. Right. And that happens in families. [00:34:24] So there's a split between mothers and daughters, fathers and so. Well. [00:34:28] And all chi. Yeah. I mean in so many different ways we can be out of the sister wound, out of alignment, out of order. [00:34:37] So this is really exciting that we're actually able to walk out these. It's like really being able to have a love story based on spiritual truths that we're learning as we go with other people, creating a new way of being. And we sure need a I need it. Right. I mean, I'm just speaking for myself. I'm so ready. Oh, my God. [00:35:01] Beyond ready. It's been such a it's hard to do it alone. [00:35:05] Hard work and there's a rope, but there's a relief. And just the knowledge. There's no doing any of this solo. No, there's not. No. And that was days ago. I was sort of the lie in the conditioning anyway. [00:35:17] And in a way, that's one of the gifts of the pandemic. Like we're sort of being driven inward and downward. Right. To kind of whether we like it or not. And it's not cognitive and a lot of it isn't conscious. We're being driven to some deeper places than we're used to operating from. And it can be really uncomfortable. But beautiful things are blossoming out of it. So. About out of time, but what a great conversation this has been and love it. And there's going to be more. No doubt. Thanks, Camille. Thanks, Tanya. [00:35:51] Thank you for joining Camille and Tanya for this episode of Restoring the Culture. If you were inspired, we would deeply appreciate it if you would leave a review on iTunes or any other platform where you heard our podcast. For more ongoing inspiration and support, please join our no cost global Facebook community. Restoring the culture. You can support that podcast by making a donation here. And remember, we are each restoring the culture as we reach story. Our own lives. See you next time.  

In this episode of Restorying the Culture, Tanya and Camille discuss the significance of our human footprint and "The Relational Impact."  How do we understand this idea of our human footprint around drama? How much drama do we have in our lives, around our emotional footprint, our psychic footprint? And how do we change that? What is the ripple effect of how we walk in the world? What is our impact, and what are we leaving behind? What are we sending out into the future? A part of restoring the culture is becoming more intimate with our own life, the environment, the natural world, and growing our awareness about our human footprint.  We have narratives that tell us in a way, to charge forward, be independent, there are all these messages that we're living with that, in some ways, impact our human footprint in a way that isn't supportive of us walking lightly on the planet.  “In spiritual circles, we often bypass our own shame. And until we feel our shame related to holding whatever privilege we hold in the world, we're dissociated from that aspect of our humanity.” Tanya Taylor Rubinstein [00:00:01] Restoring the Culture is hosted by Tanya Taylor, Rubins Steele Story mentor, and Camille Adair, family constellation facilitator. In this podcast, these long term friends explore how stories servi lives. Their inquiry meanders into the realms of science, theater, health and consciousness, moving the individual and global narratives forward as they draw upon their relationship as the laboratory for their experiments. In truth, so many of us feel isolated and alone in our deepest longing. Each one of us is necessary rediscovering the truth of our human story and listening to what is calling us forward so that we can restoring the culture together.    [00:00:52] Welcome, everybody. Last week, Tanya surprised me with the topic. And this week I'm actually going to be surprising her with a topic. So this is not something we've discussed. And rather than beginning with a quote, I'm going to share a dream I had in early 2000.    [00:01:09] And actually it was like mid 2008. So in March 2008, my documentary film, Solace, Wisdom of the Dying premiered at the Scottish Rite Temple in Santa Fe, New Mexico. And a couple of months after that, I had a dream. And in the dream, I was basically in the void and in the void there was a wall. And I heard a voice that in the dream. You know, I've sort of it felt like the voice of God for lack of other languaging. That's what it felt like to me.    [00:01:46] And. And the voice said.    [00:01:52] You have one question, you can ask any question. As your reward for making solace, wisdom of the dying, because this movie will help the world. And so my question was not a verbal question. It was. It was like a. It was almost like something. It was a reflection of something about my own being. Like the state of my being. And it was sort of an inquiry about something. That I already sort of knew, but I wanted confirmation and it wasn't even a formed idea in the dream. So without using words, there's this this, you know, communication between us of of my request. I'm taken over the other side of the wall. And. And I know that I am on the other side. As in after death.    [00:02:51] I'm in a living room. And I start walking quickly across the living room.    [00:02:58] And I'm so I'm walking like I'm in a hurry, which is, you know, it was sort of like Carolus and I bumped the side of the couch with my leg.    [00:03:08] And I looked down and I realize that the area around me has been bruised. So I realize the answer to my my non-verbal inquiry was on the other side.    [00:03:25] That there's there's no gap between doing and consequence.    [00:03:33] That we see the results of our actions immediately and that on this side of the wall, there's a delay, right? Which in a way makes you know, it makes me think about things like karma. You know, it's the delay between cause and effect and how, you know, we are learning our lessons in a much more slow down, you know, way that that likely has to do with being embodied and being in physical form. So.    [00:04:04] It was such a profound.    [00:04:09] Like teaching? Almost. And so what I'd like to talk about today is a concept that is that has come to me since that dream. And we talk a lot about carbon footprint. You know. Ah. And I'd like to talk about our human footprint. And that dream reminds me of the.    [00:04:32] The carbon footprint. We leave. All around us in ways that we're not aware of.    [00:04:41] By moving quickly, by not being mindful, by not being in our center, as my friend Michael Stillwater says, you know, when you go outside of your own medicine, you know, you're not operating from that set, that place.    [00:04:59] And so. I think also in terms of I've been thinking more about. How do we. How do we understand this idea of our human footprint around drama? How much drama we have in our lives, around our emotional footprint, our psychic footprint? And how do we. My hope is that that with the pandemic, we're gonna be more conscious about our human footprint so that it's not just about our carbon footprint, but also like.    [00:05:41] What is the ripple effect of how we walk in the world?    [00:05:45] What is our impact and what are we leaving behind? What are we sending out into the future?    [00:05:52] So, yeah, that's what I want to talk about, just that, like just last like just that cameo.    [00:06:01] So I thought you were good. See, you told me the other day you're like you're going to surprise you with a really light topic. I think fun. Is it okay.    [00:06:15] Life and death and living and dying. And because both an environmental equate should all psychic footprints. But like just that. Where do you want me to start?    [00:06:31] So, you know, it it's like whatever podcasts.    [00:06:39] I totally shocked you with the question. You were like, why? I like what's hardest thing in our entire being 20 years. Like what? That's how it feels. Right. I like. I think you're talking and I've got a whole DAP gig covered in notes that they're all Braddick and I like. I don't know. So do you want to focus at all? What would that be? Why would they be Burri?    [00:07:06] So this idea of I mean, the dream is the dream. And it was an important dream for me and still is. Yeah, I've been I think it's this idea of a human footprint. And if we talk about restoring the culture. A part of restoring the culture is like for me right now, is becoming more intimate with myself in my own life, with the environment, the natural world, and growing my awareness about my human footprint. Definitely.    [00:07:35] And we have narratives, right, that tell us like in a way, like charge forward, be independent, you know. I mean, there all these messages that we're living with that I think in some ways impact our human footprint in a in a way that isn't supportive of us walking lightly on the planet.    [00:07:53] Totally.    [00:07:55] It's a huge question and certainly an incredible inquiry, I'll just start with what is arising for me in this moment. I woke up this morning and. There was a few things that were coming to me. The first thing that came to me was a voice kind of in my head. You and I both get these deep voices that feel like they're part of us. And also beyond us in whatever way we define that in it. The voice said to me first, then when I woke up, you're out of exile.    [00:08:26] And I was like, oh, wow, I'm out of exile.    [00:08:31] I moved to Nashville this week, as you know, and 30 years ago.    [00:08:38] I was directed by an inner voice to go to Santa Fe, sight unseen. And I left in New York City. I think I've been an exile in the desert for 30 years.    [00:08:53] And I had to be because what I had to walk out.    [00:08:59] And it totally addresses what you're talking about. What I had to walk out was my shadow, my family's shadow.    [00:09:08] I had to walk in to cemeteries and sit with the dead myself. I had to you know, I grew up in Washington, D.C., a Republican family, pretty conservative, pretty elite, pretty privileged, as we've talked about here. Went to New York City. Was part of the AIDS pandemic. Not directly, but my my community as a theater artist died. A lot of people died. And that was the door to my awakening and where I got the directive. Come to Santa Fe.    [00:09:39] Go to Santa Fe. And I woke up this morning at fifty five years old. I was twenty six when I was sent it to exile by my inner guidance in the midst of my spiritual awakening. It wasn't to go to the light like I thought it was to go live in the darkness and to learn from the darkness. That's what New Mexico did for me and. I have such a deep attachment to the land there because it taught me everything. It wasn't it's not going into the light is going into the dark that I feel that exile was necessary for me to become somebody who even cares about my human footprint, who's even.    [00:10:28] Right. I didn't. I get that. I didn't care. I wasn't conditioned to care. I know you weren't.    [00:10:35] I mean, there was an inner empath in me that always cared about when we'd go to Beirut or Syria and see the children who were beggars. I was this little white privilege girl with my grandfather, who was the vice president of a university in Beirut. They had seven servants. I had we had we would travel around with what I call my Uncle Intune, a Lebanese man who was my grandfather's bodyguard, and we'd get out of the car and swarms of children who had nothing would try to sell us chocolates.    [00:11:09] The gum and I've talked about this before.    [00:11:11] And there was there was privilege in my my heart when my grandfather explained to me they didn't have food and they were trying to sell chocolates to buy their family bread and milk. There was an awakening in me and a natural empathy, but I didn't.    [00:11:27] And then I was cracked open by my friend dying of AIDS.    [00:11:32] It opened me to like the shock of life and death and lack of privilege.    [00:11:44] And New Mexico took me into exile where I had to go low, not high.    [00:11:51] And every time I tried to go high, which was the inner sense of privilege, I would get pulled down and knocked down into the knocked down, actually knocked down.    [00:12:01] The image I'm getting knocked down over and over.    [00:12:05] And that was completely necessary. I had to become a human. Most of us, I don't think, are human. I think what patriarchy and white supremacy in these 5000 years of patriarchy as women and being marginalized and in these relationships where we have to cut off aspects of ourselves with men in our culture, we are d humanized.    [00:12:31] We are so dehumanized. And can I just say one thing, because this is something I've been getting a little tripped up on lately. Around duality. Like, just the one I hear. I mean, because, of course, there's white privilege.    [00:12:43] I'm not at all discounting that. I'm not discounting the patriarchy. But I do think that part of humanizing is maybe dropping some of our labels. Right. Because, I mean, all of that affected everyone in the world.    [00:12:57] But I disagree. I disagree. For me, I really do. Like, I hear where you are, where you're coming from.    [00:13:03] And I think when we call it do ality, we bypass our own shame. And until we feel our shame as holding whatever privilege we hold in the world, we're dissociated from from that aspect of our humanity.    [00:13:23] And and while we've all suffered, that's that's inherent to the human experience and our ancestors suffered.    [00:13:32] But I do think there's a bypass that can happen even with what you're saying. Yeah. For example, the patriarchy is incredibly strong among women. Of course, women will not carry a lot of the patriarchy. So that's all I'm talking about is just I think it's more complicated than just sort of.    [00:13:52] Well, I think that when we humanize when you humanize something, right.    [00:13:57] Then it's like it's like that saying, you know, be kind to everyone, not just be kind to those, but want to be kind to, but be kind to everyone.    [00:14:08] I mean, this is really about moving out our humanity and not. I totally agree with you about the bypass.    [00:14:16] Well, I mean, yeah. And and and and it's just acknowledging our human placement in the hierarchy in the rank because there's hardly conscious rank and unconscious privilege.    [00:14:29] And yes, many women have adopted the patriarchy by taking on the characteristics of patriarchy.    [00:14:35] But it becomes nuanced for me. And what I realized is my deepest humanity.    [00:14:42] I've lost my taste for cruelty of any cop of any kind. But I also am developing my empathy because, again, I've had people in Santa Fe, people of color, say to me that Santa face an unusually racist place. And we I perceived it as an unusually kind place. So it was my job to listen to them rather than just go from my own experience, because we all have blind spots. Right. So I'm just talking about. I wanted to do the spiritual bypass. It sort of came to me having psychic giftedness and everything to just sort of want to go into. We're all one. And I don't see skin and I'm not a renaissance.    [00:15:28] And that's not at all what I'm saying. And that was when I was very young. No.    [00:15:32] And I just want to say, though, that it's been part of my human walk to actually feel the sting of shame, of the unconscious, unconscious.    [00:15:43] The privilege of I don't want to get too caught up in that, but it's coming back the way we're talking about. You know, I wanted to say that's a human footprint.    [00:15:50] I would have to say that I think there's a this is a really good distinction about what could sort of increase our I think shame increases our human put me to. I think it actually makes it. I think that. And I think guilt in terms of the way we talk about guilt and constellation work is you carry your own guilt and that makes us stronger. So we use guilt in sort of a different way. You know, people could say, oh, that's splitting hairs. But there's actually a very big difference between acknowledging totally I what I agree, harrying the guilt of your of your ancestry, of your lineage, meaning that you acknowledge exactly as you said, that's really important to life.    [00:16:30] And that's like the John John Bradshaw work. The difference between guilt and shame, guilt. I'm not familiar with that, but I'm like, take that while he talks. His book was the shape of something about the shame that binds us. It's like that guilt has the opportunity to help us be more responsible, take responsibility does. It's like waking up. And it made me become toxic. But I absolutely I think if the energy suppressed in us is shame, it can also protect in a way where it has to be felt to be transformed.    [00:17:02] And that's what happened to me in the desert coming out of exile now.    [00:17:06] I feel like in exile that I had to go in and do I had to just walk with the dead, with the shame, with my ancestors, with my privilege to become human. And now I'm feeling the only way to serve.    [00:17:21] And so you had to go through that and you feel like going through that time is in coming out of exile. How will that impact your human footprint?    [00:17:30] Well, now I'm prepared to serve from a much more humble place.    [00:17:34] That's what I was going to talk about. Humility. I'm so glad. You said that because I do, I believe there's a healthy kind of you know, I've always talked about that there's a spectrum. You know, this humility spectrum that's, you know, like healthy humility on one end and humiliation on the other. And and there again, it's like where where shame comes in. So I think.    [00:17:56] Yeah, I think I think healthy humility is something that helps us to be human and to be right in the world and does support our human footprint. Right.    [00:18:08] Yeah, because we draw line under it's. Yeah. It's a lightning.    [00:18:12] It's a lightning. And I'm curious about the connection between humility and this understanding of us as interdependent beings.    [00:18:21] Yeah. Right. Yeah. And we are. And every life matters. It's like. And every story matters. And how do we come into relationship now? Right. Right. With that as leaders. But also I see it as a circle now. You know, to me, the circle is part of the practice of humility. And and it's always been my impulse and story work to sit in a circle not as to not be on a podium or on a stage, but in a circle leading by being and leading by sharing and inviting people into the circle.    [00:18:59] It's interesting, you know, when you talked earlier about. Being in the desert and sort of having a desert as this, as sort of a it is a symbol of exile in a way.    [00:19:13] And I've been in the desert as long almost as long as you were. All right. I mean, my daughters my youngest daughter's twenty nine. And, you know, so I'm actually I moved to Taos 30 years ago in Santa Fe now. But it's it's. That's three decades. It's a long time to be at 7000 feet. And to be sort of drying out. And you can just almost hear your bones clattering sometimes. Right?    [00:19:40] Well, there is a quality to it.    [00:19:41] And where was I going with that? Oh.    [00:19:47] Thirty years. Thirty years. Yeah. But there was another point. I'll just come back to it if it comes to me. But just. I guess now where I'm going.    [00:19:58] Thank you for just my brain for just flowing somewhere else.    [00:20:03] It always does. It does.    [00:20:06] Right. So you're in Nashville after three decades in the desert. And I'm leaving tomorrow to go back to Oregon, my home state. So you've returned east. And I'm going west for a month. And it feels like a very purposeful time for me to be going there for some deep reflection.    [00:20:25] And I'll be close on the coast, just, you know, a couple hours from where I was born. And there's some potency in being able to, like, go out.    [00:20:36] And experience yourself in the world in a different way. And then sort of come back home and and to me, there's like there's a kind of integration that does deal with humility.    [00:20:45] I know what I was gonna say before, which is you talked about your lack of humanity around privilege and you had money and it was East Coast and it was all of that and what and what it was like being a very sensitive child.    [00:21:00] Also in the midst of all of them.    [00:21:03] And I actually think that mine. My way that I avoided that and made my footprint larger has to do with some of the Valkyrie energy, the, you know, being the oldest child and and and being a caretaker and then becoming a nurse and all the ways in which we try to serve and trying to like, navigate, negotiate between how we serve. And are we going to be the wounded healer or are we going to be a wounding healer? And you know, I've had astrologers tell me that my Kairouan, which is the wounded healer, runs and it does it runs right through Santa Fe. So I've been here doing this wounded healer stuff, which is, I think, my version of your going into darkness and exile for 30 years. Yeah.    [00:21:58] And when you talked at the very beginning about your dream and the fact that you were given the information that on the other side we go quantum. So we're its immediate manifestation.    [00:22:10] That's right. So that we have the opportunity that there's that it's not a better than less than. And I won't know. Also thinking which I expressed to you at the big before we got on this podcast. Yeah. That I had a recognition that we have other word, the dead, that we might time others and the other side would really it's just that's the ultimate split. The ultimate othering is to say we're only alive over here on this side. There's an aliveness and death. And there's a dying aspect of being alive.    [00:22:44] All the tiredly, a lot of dying about being alive, which means that.    [00:22:48] Yeah. Which means that it's the ultimate split. To see those two is separate.    [00:22:53] And if we're here, you and I talk all the time. Right. About healing splits in ourselves, embracing our full humanity and the divinity.    [00:23:02] To me now it's the integration. Because if I'm out of exile here, I can be more full and whole and firm in the world. But to me, New Mexico is the mother and that the darkness is the mother. It was me, the healthy mother, because I was never mothered. So the land itself and walking into the shadow became the mothering I needed to become a full human being.    [00:23:28] And now I know it's going to be always and when I was driving out in New Mexico's crying the way I always do and I just made a promise and I said, let me go the way maybe a young adult would say to their parent.    [00:23:40] Let me go and do my own thing in another place in the world. And I will always return to you. Huh? Right. So thinking about returning and life and death.    [00:23:51] Yeah. I mean, and the mother, you know, the the mother is the one that holds the death, right. I mean. Yeah. The feminine is that that holds the dark and the death and the unconscious and the underworld and all of that. So yeah. Interesting to think about being re mothered in the dark in the desert where there's actually so much light. It's really kind of a beautiful contrast. Right. And there's a and there's a lack of consciousness to that. I mean, it's almost like to be re mothered. You can't track that consciously, right? It's like you're being worked on. Maybe who knows the small self in relationship to the big self. But yeah, that's kind of what I'm. That's just fascinating. And I but I love this idea of becoming more conscious about our human footprint. And it makes me think about things that I'd like to do differently in my life, about how I make my choices totally, totally new and totally. Yeah. Specially like like I mean, not just in the outer world, but like in my body. And my personhood is its own universe. How is my footprint with myself? What are my critical thoughts like? Do I beat myself up my loving you know and why. Easy on myself and my hard on myself. Right. Why do I take up do I use up too much energy? Right. I mean, you think about like the carbon footprint has a lot to do with energy management and sustainability.    [00:25:26] Do I know how to ask and ask for help and collaborate even? That's my own needs getting met.    [00:25:33] And the interdependence must be a part of that, too. Right. Like, we just don't do this alone and. No. And yet no one can do it for us. So we're you know, we're on a dual path. This is a dual path of of, you know, individual wholeness and individuation and Škoda Viduka nation. And as we've talked about before, sort of this energy of the two by two and how two people can create something that one person will never create a clearly thing create.    [00:26:00] That's right. Her identity.    [00:26:02] And that's also returning from what you will. You would turn me on to that webinar with Tom Brady, the astrologer. That was amazing. But the return to the I vow, you know, the movement away from the right, just the individual, that relationship to the Dow, to the collective, to this pre verbal. And I'm not talking preverbal individually. It was before we had written language, right. To start to codify everything with the left brain. This returned.    [00:26:33] I posted something by Nina Simonds of the Bioneers today that she wrote about third stage leadership.    [00:26:40] And it's all very much about in the circle at the collaborative and what's happening now.    [00:26:46] Well, and I love. Yeah. Sorry. Gone again.    [00:27:00] It's not you know, it makes me think about.    [00:27:04] I think about all the people with dementia that I've, you know, been involved with in my hospice days and. And one of the practices that I have is like, you know, as I'm an aging person or in the youth of my older hood, you know, that's another way of being gentle on myself is like I forget something or. Yeah, if I know I know what I was going to say. It usually does come back.    [00:27:30] It's just being gentle with myself and going, oh, I guess I just don't have to work that hard to hold on to something. Like my mind is just a little softer than it used to be. And allowing that to be creative. So what I was gonna say is, I'm glad you brought up the left hemisphere of the brain, because I actually think if we were to go full circle and wrap up our conversation today, we could say something about all of what we talked about.    [00:27:52] When you product white privilege and beat people who are marginalized and sort of our rugged individualism and all of this stuff, that's all left brain told hemisphere up action.    [00:28:07] Right. And I think part of reducing our human footprint, not just our carbon footprint, but if we use carbon footprint, we use ecology and we use, you know, how we think about sustainability in terms of the natural world. And we apply that to the relational realm. That's all right. Hemisphere stuff. So it's like, what are the things that we can do to decrease our our human footprint at the same time, paradoxically, becoming more human just become more relational. It's to acknowledge our interdependence. It's to look at the human ecology.    [00:28:49] Well, and it's one of the reasons that and I moved to Nashville, even in the midst of the pandemic is two is there's community here. And one of the things I truly believe is that it's going to be really important that we move or live and deepen our roots systems in our local communities. So I'm like, be happy in your local community now where you want to be, because we're going to have to. I believe this is one of the things coming up for me. Let go of our addiction to cheap travel. Getting on an app. So whenever we feel like get in the car. So how can we go deeper and create really deep roots that are satisfying in our deep community and relationships that are satisfying. So we're not always getting on a plane because getting in a car, because it's not sustainable. Right.    [00:29:41] Not sustainable. The way I think about that. The way I buy my clothing. Yes. Where I buy my food, I try and buy food as locally as seasonally as I can. It's the same thing about clothing. You know, we've like there's so much now that's like, you know, fossil fuel based cheap fibers, sheep's clothing.    [00:29:59] It exploit Zachares. Yeah. You know, all of these things, they.    [00:30:05] Exploiting people and damaging the environment. It's all connected. So it's like, yeah, that like, how can we go really deep locally?    [00:30:13] Because now online we can be expensive globally. Podcasts. Technology. Zoom meetings. We have the whole world. Yeah. To be available and to that way. So how do we go. Really deep and small and intimate locally is something I'm totally interested in shifting my human footprint in that way.    [00:30:34] Me too. And I think our generation as generation X, we're older generation X. Yes. I think this is part of what how we need to differentiate ourselves as as, you know, going into the youth of our older hood. I mean, I think it's really important, which makes me want to end the podcast with a shout out to the millennials in particular about our daughters, Hayley, Claire and Chloe. I really have a certain kind of genius and brilliance within them about, I think, carrying the creative vision for how to live differently, how totally with more sensitive to their to their human footprint. I think they've got that in them to do that. And I'm. That makes me feel happy.    [00:31:23] I love that. And also a shout out to the baby boomers who came before us for breaking and cracking the culture open. They weren't explorers of consciousness. And it's interesting because once once again, Camille, here we are as the bridge walkers and I think is bridging generation knows were bridge our ages where branches have felt that that Generation X, that a lot of our job is to bridge.    [00:31:48] The baby boomers with the millennials because the baby boomers are such a big generation. Absolutely. I mean, energetically. And also numbers wise. And. And there's a big difference between the baby boomers and the millennials. Absolutely. And I do think that that's our our place is to be the bridge generation. And I think, you know. One thing Tom Brady said about the baby boomers is, you know, that it's, you know, the 1960s was about shocking transformation. Yes. And I think we're we're coming back into a time where we're going to see more and more shocking transformation. Absolutely. Some of these patterns are repeating themselves now. And how do we restoring that? Because the 60s won't happen again. But how do we restore the energy so that we can, you know, sort of harness it for as much as possible for the greater good?    [00:32:42] Absolutely. And to take what was learned and to look at honestly what didn't work as much as what did. And to know that as bridges, it doesn't mean we're marginalized as bridges. We're playing a really important. It's an rule.    [00:32:57] That's right. Hallelujah.    [00:32:59] Yeah. Great topic. I get a little light earlybird in conversation here for us with myself. Brain subject, shaft brain. I love that. Oh, my gosh. I love that. I've no shame in any.    [00:33:17] No. No shame in our humanity. Just letting ourselves be fully seen and seeing each other. Of makes us feel intimate and close.    [00:33:24] Exactly. I love it. So. So we'll end with intimacy. To be continued. Always. Thank you.    [00:33:36] Thank you for joining Camille and Tanya for this episode of Restoring the Culture.    [00:33:42] If you were inspired, we would deeply appreciate it if you would leave a review on iTunes or any other platform where you heard our podcast. For more ongoing inspiration and support, please join our no cost global Facebook community. Restoring the culture. You can support that podcast by making a donation here. And remember, we are each restoring the culture as we reach story. Our own lives. See you next time. 

In this episode of Restorying the Culture, Tanya and Camille speak about the danger of a single narrative in a crisis.   We open with this quote by Canadian author Topoka, "The world needs your rebellion and the true song of your exile. And what has been banned from your life. You find medicine to heal all that has been kept from our world."   What lens are we looking through? How do stories become so polarized?   What role does social media play in shaping our narrative now?   What's the difference between how thinking vs. feeling informs our relationship to a narrative?   Emotional intelligence, grief, and navigating the right and left hemispheres of the brain.    How grief not only informs but changes our narratives.    "The planet is waking up and seems to be relieved and coming out of its exile as we humans feel into our exile more fully at this time. Tanya Taylor Rubinstein  10 Restorying the Culture-The Danger of Viewing the World Through A Single Narrative.mp3 [00:00:01] Restoring the Culture is hosted by Tanya Taylor, Rubins Steam Story mentor and Camille Adair, family Constellation facilitator.   [00:00:11] In this podcast, these long term friends explore how stories survive lives. Their inquiry meanders into the realms of science, theater, health and consciousness, moving the individual and global narratives forward as they draw upon their relationship as the laboratory for their experiments in truth. So many of us feel isolated and alone in our deepest longing. Each one of us is necessary and rediscovering the truth of our human story and listening to what is calling us forward so that we can restoring the culture together.   [00:00:52] Hey, everybody, this is Tanya. Welcome back to another episode of Restoring the Culture with myself and my dear friend Camille.   [00:01:00] I want to start today with a quote. The world needs your rebellion and the true song of your exile. And what has been banned from your life. You find medicine to heal all that has been kept from our world. And that is by the author, Toko Україна Turner.   [00:01:23] So Camille and I decided we have all kinds of interesting and provocative conversations off-line all the time as we're dear friends and we've decided that we're gonna shake things up a little bit and make the conversations even more improvisational. Sometimes as if we're just on the phone and you're listening into one of our private conversations and to do this.   [00:01:48] We've decided sometimes to simply surprise each other with topics. And so I invite each other into an inquiry.   [00:01:59] So that's what we're doing today. So Camille doesn't know the topic for today. I'm just going to bring it up and why I'm inspired to bring it up. And what I want to call it is the danger of viewing the world through a single narrative and particularly in crisis. So, Camille. Thanks for joining me and and jumping in for this topic. I want to give you a little bit about just what what's been going through my head about this in the last few days. We're still in the middle of this pandemic. And I think it's going to be interesting to look back historically on our podcast in the midst of this pandemic and see like, you know, like as a cultural almost pop culture lens. Right. And the way the world's changing each week and our commentary on it. So I'm watching things online in different cohorts. I'm part of different groups of people like you. I'm a bridge person.   [00:02:57] I cross into a lot of different worlds are online, particularly on social media. I'm friends with people globaly from very different backgrounds and from very, very different contexts. I've got a lot of friends who are, you know, as strongly in a social justice world. People in the states, Europe, Australia, in in a business cohort. I'm part of friends from Santa Fe, from Nashville, different parts of the US to.   [00:03:25] And alternative communities. Santa Fe sort of counterculture vibe, and it's very disturbing right now to see the polarization and of people with each other. And certainly I've been polarized with others at times in my life. Viewing the world through my own lens, my own bias. And now as this crisis escalates. Right. And it's not only the corona virus crisis. It's the political crisis. It's the rise of fascism globaly.   [00:03:59] There's a lot of stuff around racism class. There's a lot of fear in individuals. How can I protect me? Mine are conspiracy theories, some may say, and someone else may say legitimate concerns about government, big pharma. But the polarization is painful. And as I'm hearing people speak, listening to the way things are around the face masks, for example, right now to whether or not to wear considerations around racial considerations, like if you're a white person, you have this privilege you have or or certain kinds of privilege, we can carry unconscious privilege and bias having money. Right now, some people are in food lines all over the country, food banks, socioeconomic privilege. It's really influencing how people think. I'm seeing some people I've really respected in the past. Professionals go into deep fear, a lot of new agey sort of conspiracy theories running rampant. So once again, what this all brings me to is that I don't want to come so much from my own bias or even so much from my opinion as I speak, from sort of the center of all of these narratives.   [00:05:23] Right. Because. And and and how do we shift?   [00:05:29] You know, this part of the inquiry I wanted to bring to you is to get your thoughts on because I feel pretty stumped right now. I know I need to speak through through the lens of different narratives and share more of my own experiences.   [00:05:42] But how what are your thoughts on navigating the polarities right now and the presumptions and the way to minimize harm? Because a lot of harm is happening emotionally.   [00:06:00] And I no harm always comes out of polarization when we stop talking to each other or talking to each other without out at being hateful or condescending, mean spirited. And at the same time, not shutting down the very real voices of people who are bringing up dissonance. Like it says the world. This is why I brought in this quote, The world needs your rebellion and the true song of your exile. And to be listening to people who are different from us and to be listening to people who've been exiled culturally, who don't have such dominant voices or be more marginalized for whatever reasons. So that's a mouthful, right? I know that. I just said it's a lot, but I'm thinking about the single narrative.   [00:06:51] And when we're in our own little microcosm and we're not able to extend and see other narratives and take these points of view in consideration, it just feels even more painful to me. It almost feels like we're doing violence on each other on top of the violence that's happening in the world. Mm hmm.   [00:07:13] Well, there are so many things that come up for me. I think the first thing and I'll just share with one of the things that I've been doing in these times to support myself and staying connected. But first, I'd like to speak to sort of this idea of one narrative, which is very, you know, in terms of, you know, the work that Ian McGilchrist and others have done on the right and left hemispheres of the brain. It's very left hemisphere to want to have an answer. It makes the left hemisphere of the brain feel safer because that's the competitive, language oriented side of the brain.   [00:07:54] And it's and that's not the side of the brain that's relational. So what I've been doing, because I live in a community and have a family, and I've actually noticed even the differences between the generations. You know, so I'm around people who have varying degrees of fear and and different thinking around how to be with the virus and how to be with other people with the virus.   [00:08:20] And I've started I kind of got to this place where, as I can know, I'm kind of sick of hearing what people think on what news you're exposed to or what articles you're reading. You know, it's like and that's a way we're feeding the left hemisphere of the brain. Right. We're just feeding ourselves all this information. Right. And there are a million different ways to like synthesize that and come up with, you know, your own version of what makes sense. And then people are sharing that. And as you're saying, they're polarizing.   [00:08:48] So I've just been for my self avoiding talking about what I think. Instead, I'm talking about what I feel, how do I feel about not just about the virus, but how do I feel in isolation? How do I feel right now at this time in my life? And I've been encouraging other people to tell me how they feel. If I if they start going into they're they're thinking around it. Because when we share our feelings, it softens the polarization, because you can have different thoughts about it, but you can have the same feelings. You know, you might have two people who are in fear. They both have different ways of interpreting what's going on.   [00:09:35] But they both feel fear or they both are having anxiety or they might both be having you know, they might find some kind of like a bridge or a middle point around.   [00:09:44] You know what I hear a lot of people now talking about, which is like, oh, my gosh, you know, like I've gained 15 pounds and I've you know, it's like I have, you know, my like, I haven't had a haircut or, you know, all the things that we're sort of used to having on our calendar. And those things really sound like things of privilege. But but those aspects of daily life also really do ground us, right. They their routines and they ground us in to the knowing that this is how we take care of ourselves. Right.   [00:10:17] And so, yeah, I guess that would just be the first thing I would say is that the narrative changes when it isn't about beliefs. So I've been trying to do that. The other thing I think about is. And this is really the deeper work that I'm doing right now that is murkier and hard to talk about because it is about the nonverbal narrative. And to me that's actually the deepest, most profound narrative. The happening is the one that's beneath the words, the one that is in the realm of the collective. The one that is that we can feel in the air, that we can feel in in our psyche that's coming through in our dreams. That is really. Yeah, it's difficult to put it into a story, but it's so there. And I really feel like that voice of the voiceless. The story. It's like the story beyond the story is really the work that I'm drawn to. And then how do we connect around that? So I've been meeting with people and spending more time having moments of silence and even just being in each other's presence. And I feel like there can be a lot communicated in those times. And then and then also really identifying who can I really talk to about the deepest parts of myself and not make pretty my pain or or what I'm going through, but to be able to just really be vulnerable so so that I don't get lost in my own, you know, my own single narrative of Camille.   [00:11:57] Right. Well, right. And we all have that right. Yeah. And it's dangerous actually to think we don't. I did challenge a woman on a social media page and sort of a spiritual white woman who I could feel was doing a big bypass. Like her opinion was the only thing that mattered, didn't matter how it might impact others. And I called her out and she said, I'm past my ego and identity and I'm sorry, you're not like I. That was what I knew. I had to stop responding because it would not have been productive for me because it would have sent me into a kind of a really a rage trigger.   [00:12:41] That's why I really have such a hard time with that form of communication. And I just think. I don't know, I do. I have big concerns about social media. We've had conversations about how, you know, people can either on the one hand, people can put sort of like a false life.   [00:12:59] Right. So like, here's the here's the beautiful thing. The beauty is the perfect. Exactly. The soundbites. Well, it's a selfie culture. And and then we can and it's narcissism.   [00:13:10] It feeds narcissism.   [00:13:12] Well, and then there's the also there's the you know what? I heard someone call, you know, keyboard warriors, which is. Yeah. People duking it out on social media. And I am I think that, you know, because I teach emotional intelligence and digital communication is one of the first things that I remember really learning in terms of how the brain operates and how the nervous system operates.   [00:13:34] It really it sabotages emotional intelligence and respectful communication. So I think it's it's really important to avoid, especially like on on hot issues. Right. Stressful because again, we're just moving into our thinking around it. It's not about the feeling.   [00:13:58] I mean, I agree and I disagree. I disagree only on the love of love. I think it's an effective form of communication that is kind of a great equalizer. And I think all my deepest level of values, like the way I see the story circle is ultimately it's egalitarian and it is a tribal story circle in a way. I'm talking Facebook. I'm talking Instagram. I know it affects the neuroscience and I've really had to change my own relationship to it. But for people talk about voice, you know, who would have been voiceless or maybe marginalized in the culture. It does bring diversity in to a conversation that I like. I mean, I heard that the Arab Spring uprising would have never happened without Twitter. You know, so certain things, because information can travel so fast, can be an organizing tool in terms of big social justice issues. So that part I can't. I love about it. I truly do. The connection. But and I, of course, agree with you on the neuroscience I've seen, the way it's changed my own brain chemistry. And I've had to I've had to walk it back so that there's more consciousness around what I'm posting and how. And I don't. Yeah. And I avoid a lot of those conversations. It was a thing for me to even walk away from her and not try and prove something, because the soul is, I think, comfortable with dissonance and with not explaining and just expressing and leaving it. I know the part of the ego. It's like to me, the ego that wants to win a fight which is very different from right sharing a point. And yet things can break down very quickly.   [00:15:42] Well, and I think that's a I wouldn't really call it a blind spot for me, but it's definitely an area of discomfort because because I feel like the path that I'm on about being relational is so important to me that sometimes I miss the both. And in terms of the benefits of social media and I know there really are some. So it's good for me to hear that. Right. It's. And you have a different experience of it than I do, just as I was thinking about that, about, you know, how much work you do on on Facebook and on social media. And I have networks of people who don't do anything on social media, and they're out there, too. But it's a different ask more email and phone calls and things like that. So it is a both/and, does it not, just really about how. What is our relationship to ourselves around these things in the world today and how can we. Try and stay in our medicine and stay in our integrity and stay connected in all situations on and off line, right.   [00:16:45] As much as possible. Yeah, yeah, yeah.   [00:16:50] For me, I I have I I've learned so much from being on social media in a positive way. And yeah. Not to get it make this all about social media. It's just again coming back to this narrative. The narrative is the single story. I'm very curious. It's why I started years ago. I decided to do the cancer monologues because I was most scared of anything in my life. I had like a total phobia about getting cancer because I had some trauma from my family. So I wanted to hear those stories. So I like to lean into stories that make me uncomfortable.   [00:17:26] And I've gotten to go into pockets of people that I otherwise wouldn't have gotten to meet. But because coming back to this of a friend of ours was sharing this yesterday, he said somebody shared this with him.   [00:17:40] I don't know if it was some kind of graph or me or email or whatever, but it was like there was a circle. It was a triad. Those like the people who think like. This is all a conspiracy.   [00:17:54] The people who think Big Pharma just wants to make money off this. The people who think this is the end of the world, the people who think this is the best thing to ever happen to Mother Earth. And then it was like in the tiny circle in the middle. Me. And I thought, well, that's powerful. That's this emotional intelligence to me of being willing to stay open to all these narratives and hang more with the mystery. And you and I have been talking a lot about to grief.   [00:18:24] Grief.   [00:18:25] So let's talk about that in terms of only having one narrative are getting really attached to it. What do you think is the role grief plays in that?   [00:18:37] Mm hmm. Well, I guess first of all, I think. Grief takes us out of narrative in a way, you know, the prefrontal cortex really shuts down somewhat, not completely, of course, but the brain changes depending on what state of grief we're in and and whether or not we are, you know, have resilience or whether there's trauma. You know, they're all different kinds of grief, but. Yeah. That's a that's a really good question. I don't know that I have any kind of an answer or worse or anything to add to that, except that I think. That grief is. A state, you know, there are some things that are emotions and then some things that are states of being, you know, or there it's like that I think of I think of grief as being a state of being that we travel through. And we've talked about that a little bit before. But, you know, grief is the big connector because we grieve, because we love grief, you know, is the other side of love or grief as the other side of joy.   [00:19:44] It's the price of admission for loving. And so I think it pulls us into those deep waters, you know, where transformation happens, where we have to sort of surrender to it because it's not something that we can just shake off. It's not something we can take a pill for. And and and we're called to just to go into the depth of it, you know?   [00:20:12] Yeah. And when you were talking earlier about people's discomfort with just being with the unknown right now. Right. And the mystery and the. And and how do we hold on to control?   [00:20:26] To me, the grief state can be a softening around that.   [00:20:33] Like for me, if I allow myself to actually feel and grieve and feel the terror of the unknown, my human terror of the unknown, and not try and just talk about it and do a spiritual by pathway.   [00:20:46] Yes, of course, I have faith and, you know, call on past experiences of faith and rather just be with it. And I feel like I do feel like that's at the heart of something that isn't named online and there's no space for that. Usually online and maybe it's not even appropriate to bring that there. Or maybe it is. Or maybe it's in conversations like this.   [00:21:09] But.   [00:21:12] The avoidance of grief, I think, makes us also grasp bond to a single narrative, because a single narrative is a cookie cutter answer. And even if it's not a complete answer, I think it can feel settling to the nervous system to say, well, I'm just gonna grab on to this belief.   [00:21:31] Yeah. You know, one of the things for me in terms of the single narrative and grief is that grief changes who we are. We're not the same when we come through the other side of grief. And so our narratives have to change because we change.   [00:21:50] Yeah. It feels to me. Yeah. Right. Something gets revealed that is deeper and truer, too. It's the cookie cutter. We're not grasping so much for it. Then.   [00:22:03] Mother, no answers. There are no easy answers when we're in a state of grief. I mean, we're almost sort of forced to to surrender to the unknown.   [00:22:12] And what's interesting to me in this time is there's individual grief, but there's collective grief, grief in states, in families and community, in the country, here in the U.S., global grief, there's eco grief right around the environment. There's a lot there's a and there are new things emerging and.   [00:22:43] Right. Right. It's a radical time. It's it's an absolutely. To me, the most radical time of my lifetime.   [00:22:51] And there's this really I've been thinking about this kind of almost the sweet juxtaposition between the grief that I'm feeling among humans. And then the joy that I'm experiencing in nature. Yes, I have seen more incredible birds at my house and more just the animals, even the insects. Everything just feels more alive. The natural world feels to me like it is just celebrating this waking up.   [00:23:18] It's waking up and relieved and coming out of its exile as we feel in our exile more in some way.   [00:23:27] That's exactly right. That's exactly right.   [00:23:29] They're coming out. I just posted something this morning about these incredible dare you have to look at me? It's happening in countries all over the world. And the fact that the smog is down, you know, I acid my husband how long it would take for the ice, you know, to stop melting. He said, well, he had read something on it. If we if we kept things like this without all the fossil fuels being burned, as many airlines and all three or four years. It's a big. Right. Like, how are we going to restore story the species and how we're relating to the earth?   [00:24:11] And yeah, that's the big question is the human species and the connection to the earth.   [00:24:16] Are we going to be hospice's humanity or are we going to be hospice's the planet in a way? I mean, we're not really going to hospice the planet. But the natural world, you know, I mean, well, are we going to have to hospice the species?   [00:24:30] I remember many years ago and when you asked that inquiry, I was sitting at the feet of a guru at the time. And we talked about me, started getting over the guru culture, but she said something very profound at the time and she said hope is as hollow as fear.   [00:24:49] Because both take us out. Of the moment of this mystery of the now we only have it and even hope. And I've always felt ambiguous about hope since she said that, right. Because it may be why what hope to sort of fight for something or move toward something. But I think hope's been taken away, if we're honest right now and people want to cling to hope in these single narratives.   [00:25:17] I think there are different kinds of hope, though. I think there's the superficial hope that like things are gonna get better. I think that there is a way of rediscovering the meaning of hope so that it becomes authentic to the experience that it's being applied to. Right. And I think hope is connected to meaning. You know, Victor Frankl talks a lot about that in man's search for meaning. And he talked about what it was like living in the concentration camp. Yes. Yes. He could always tell. You know, when someone was gonna die and as a physician, he said it was not about their physical condition.   [00:25:54] It was about their state of hope. Yeah, right. And so, you know, he talked about how he would walk and imagine seeing his wife in the sky and he in the clouds. And he would come up with these, you know, these little rituals for himself to keep his connection alive, because I think hope you know, if hope is external to us.   [00:26:17] It's superficial and hollow. I agree with her.   [00:26:20] But if Hope House is tied to our internal medicine and our meaning about life, then I think it's really I think it can help us with resilience.   [00:26:30] You know, I love that. And that is I love Victor Frankl. And I read his book years ago. And it's radical, radical resilience.   [00:26:39] And I mean, one of the ways I think I do carry hope or maybe some of us do is when we're with the unknown, whether it's about our own life, our own life and death, anything. The hope is for me, I think of my daughter.   [00:26:56] I think of the generation after us. I think of, you know, a friend of mine said this to me before all this crisis started. I dont know. A few years ago. And she said, the world is going to be a beautiful place and I hope I live to see it like on the other side of this fall.   [00:27:15] That was inevitable.   [00:27:16] It came whether through having Trump as president or, you know, global fascism or, you know, war or all these things.   [00:27:26] It was inevitable that a fall come right, because we've been on this collision course as a human species for so long.   [00:27:33] And that entitlement of sort of neo liberalism, we can all have whatever we want when we want it. You know, and it goes past red and blue. It's become this materialistic. All of this. And so it was inevitable that are in some ways our personal hope.   [00:27:55] Had to shift, I think. Now you talk a lot about the long game.   [00:28:01] Well, and I think that, you know, I remember when I interviewed Larry Dossey, I think I've interviewed he and Barbie, his his wife and mentor and dear friend of mine. You know, maybe three times. And I remember he was talking about a conversation that he had with Dean raden, who runs the Noetic Sciences Institute, and and that he asked Dean. Are you optimistic about the future? And Dean said, I don't have a choice. And Larry's message about that was optimism actually is our responsibility. And that reminds me of what it's like to be a mother and a grandmother, you know, for me to become kind of like desperate and and indulge myself in. And ruminating. You know, because ruminating really takes us down and the negative spiral.   [00:28:56] You know, it's like how it really is this this paradox that we're asked to feel the depth of our feelings and to go into our grief and also to remain optimistic and to exercise some of these tools like gratitude and and to practice empathy and to watch how we're starting to shut down or not feel, you know, or we get to beat like two interior inside of ourselves. And then it's hard to bring ourselves out. You know, all of those things, I think have to do with exile. Right. Because we can move them from exile in the world is external. But there's also internal exile.   [00:29:33] And our relationship to ourselves and our own feelings states, I think is one of the things that I want to work on in my lifetime in terms of re learning human connection, because there's so much emphasis on the outer conditions of the world.   [00:29:50] It's so true. And one thing I've learned by doing some family constellation work with you is I always felt exiled.   [00:29:57] And then I realized I'd exiled myself from my family, like from my lineage. And I was playing it out like I was somehow exiled. It's also taking that. Yeah, finding a way to take change. That story, you know, shift that narrative and taking more ownership to me always about whatever layer of narrative that I'm not seeing. That's the thing. All these narratives are playing out. So what aspect of the narrative am I? Am I exiled from perhaps willingly, which is different to me from even taking a stance or choosing an opinion or feeling about a narrative? But there can be this unconscious sort of way. We exile our self and sometimes exile ourselves from narratives that just make us uncomfortable or they feel so foreign.   [00:30:58] Anyway, this has been a great conversation.   [00:31:01] I love being able to do this on occasion, just being having an impromptu, you know, conversation around a topic that one of us chooses. And so it really it was very it was a creative process for me not to have put any thought into this subject. That's that's really great, as usual. I think one thing I'd like to maybe just say and kind of as we're wrapping up here, there's a great emotional intelligence exercise that helps you work with your own thinking in the way that you, you know, basically working with your narratives. And that is true for any situation that you're thinking about.   [00:31:38] Write down at least six options.   [00:31:43] And what happens is that it actually changes the chemistry in the brain. And oftentimes either one of those options will just clearly be the right thing or a new thing. The brain becomes creative in thinking about solutions where ways of viewing something. It doesn't have to just be about a problem, but it can be about a narrative. You could write down your narrative and then make yourself write down five other narratives that are completely different and some of them completely opposite from your first narrative, which is sort of your go to. And then oftentimes a new narrative will come out from that kind of creative thinking that you force your brain to come up with those things.   [00:32:27] I do that when my clients are trying to find a title, I'll say write downs. Really? Ready. Thirties, right.   [00:32:34] Wow. But it makes sense to me around six. I'm like 30 because, like, you're going to think it's this and this and this. Right. But the creative process, which you're talking about, it shifts the brain, which is to me why it's so important, right. To stay open to radical creativity and even improvisation. Even these conversations change my thinking. Deep conversations where we don't go in so much with an aunt answer, but like an inquiry and we're batting the ball back and forth. Maybe we see these things the same, these different. But there is a diversity. I think people talk about diversity. It's a word like hope on the outside. But diversity to me is an inner thing. How diverse can I be in my empathy and my curiosity to as many stories and experiences cannot do?   [00:33:25] I also trust myself enough to take in seemingly contradictory experience and not feel the need to lock down and know, but rather to trust myself, to work with it, to synthesize it in a way that makes sense to me and allow it to continue to shift and change as I shift and change and grow.   [00:33:46] There's something really, I think, about self trust that allows for more narrative and having empathy for your answer for yourself, right?   [00:33:54] We think of empathy as being for someone, having empathy for yourself.   [00:33:58] And one way we can do that is to remember that every thought we have was stimulated by a feeling feelings come first. Yeah, and the thoughts come from that. But we don't track the feelings. So, for example, if I have a feeling of fear, I'm going to have a thought that's related to that fear. So one of the things we can do when we find ourselves like sort of taking stock or evaluating our thinking and our beliefs is that we can actually say, what are the feelings behind that? What were the feelings that drove that? You know, because feelings are just information, you know, they're not good or bad. But when we can when we can identify those feelings, it calms the amygdala in the brain and takes us out of fight or flight, reduces the cortisol in the body. So it's for me, it's really in this left hemisphere, dominant culture, because trust me, I love thinking. I mean, I'm I'm in a union training program that requires me to do a lot of reading and thinking. But I feel like really where my I know where my work is in this life is for myself. Of course, I'm doing it because I need it right. It's not just that I'm helping others with it, but really bringing it back to the body, you know, how does it feel in the body and how does what are the emotions behind it and and what does that tell me about myself?   [00:35:21] It's interesting. It's a very different process, I think, from mine and I. And it's part of my process for me.   [00:35:28] I am only thinking about this because you stated your I like what will climb there and like mine is like full liberation. To give myself met permission to speak and think and feel exactly what's arising in the moment. And then permission to shift and shift and shift with that publicly. To be intimate with the world is my greatest interest.   [00:35:53] It doesn't always create harmony, but I'm interested. And having an intimate, ongoing revelation of myself and revelation of others back to me and I'm an I continue to learn the most often and I only realized this recently by relationships that allow for dissonance with me, allow for conflict. There's almost something in that for me. It's almost like I'm trying to experience some kind of mastery around freedom and conflict without it ending a relationship or rather deepening it.   [00:36:32] And I feel that way sometimes with individuals, but also with the world.   [00:36:38] It's so interesting that you just said that because I had never thought about that between you and I. Which is that, like your muse is the outer world.   [00:36:47] My muse is the inner world. And that is interesting because you and I are really doing radical work. Yes. Both of us in the world. But my stages inside, in your stages outside. And then we flip it. So we're both here. And then I take it out into the world.   [00:37:04] Yes. And we flip it and I take a deep inside and into a very intimate, private place, too.   [00:37:12] Yeah. Yeah. It's just that the way we. It's almost like our order is a little bit different. It's great. It is. Well, I I'm grateful that you have the intention set to be able to have dissonance in relationship because we really need that in the world. There's, you know, as we've said before and other podcasts, you know, that's dissonance really is the heart of creativity and beauty. And it unlocks intimacy, actually. Yes. Yes, it does unlock intimacy to have the safety and everything to belong.   [00:37:46] Totally. I mean, my husband often says that to me is like I'm letting I'm letting some anger out, you know? Come back later like I never had before. And he says, but I was never safe enough. No one could hold that and still love me.   [00:37:58] Huh. That's beautiful. It's a great place to end.   [00:38:02] All right. Thanks for jumping in the conversation. Thank you. That was a great subject.   [00:38:06] OK. Thank you for joining Camille and Tanya for this episode of Restoring the Culture.   [00:38:18] If you were inspired, we would deeply appreciate it if you would leave a review on i-Tunes or any other platform where you heard our podcast. For more ongoing inspiration and support, please join our no cost global Facebook community destorying the culture. You can support that podcast by making a donation here. And remember, we are each restoring the culture as we read story. Our own lives. See you next time.  

Restorying the Culture is hosted by Tanya Taylor Rubinstein, Story Mentor and Camille Adair, Family Constellation Facilitator. In this podcast, these long-term friends explore how stories serve our lives and how they don’t. Their inquiry meanders into the realms of science, theatre, health and consciousness, moving the individual and global narratives forward as they draw upon their relationship as the laboratory for their experiments in truth. So many of us feel isolated and alone in our deepest longings. Each one of us is necessary in rediscovering the truth of our human story and listening to what is calling us forward so that we can restory the culture together. In Episode One, "Re-Storying the Mother" Camille and Tanya explore the archetype of "The Mother" through different lenses. 1. Personal Storytelling around what it means to mother and be mothered 2. "Mother as Nature" and how our consciousness impacts the earth 3. The Mother Wound 4. Archetypes of Mother: Critical, Loving and Collective 5. The Call of the Mother: What is our part in healing? 6. Patriarchal Wounding and Motherhood 7. Collective Consciousness and Mothering: How it's shifting the dominant paradigm.   Subscribe to the podcast Join our Facebook Community Restorying the Culture: https://www.facebook.com/groups/restoryingtheculture Learn more about Tanya and Camille: www.camilleadair.com www.storyleaderglobal.com Support the podcast by donating to Living bridges: https://living-bridges.org/donate/     Episode Transcript   [00:00:02] Welcome to the podcast Restoring the Culture, The Conversation, Medicine for Small Talk with Camille and Tanya. This is episode number one. And our topic today is restoring the mother. And before we get started, I just want to welcome our audience and introduce us a little bit. And in terms of the intention for this podcast, Tanya and I have been friends for over 20 years and we've gone through what longtime friends go through illness, divorce, having children, worrying about our children, you know, having business successes, having business losses, relationship challenges. And what we've decided that we want to do is to take the vulnerability of this friendship with all that that we hold with it that contributes to our wholeness and bring it to the public as a model for how women can be leaders together through vulnerability. And so you'll hear us sharing a lot about our personal relationship. And that's one of the great gifts of this life, is to have a female friend who's willing to walk through the stuff in the same way that maybe we think we're committed to walking through with them in a marriage partnership or something. But oftentimes, we don't bring that kind of commitment and intimacy to our female friendships. So what I'd like to do in introducing our podcast, Restoring the Mother, is I'd like to have Tonya talk a little bit about why restoring. Thank you so much, Camille. And hello to our new listeners, were so excited to be here with you. So at this moment in the culture and where we actually are actually standing while we are making this very first step of sode of our podcast that we planned it earlier is in the midst of the Corona virus, where most of us in the U.S.    [00:02:15] right now are being asked to stay at home. So standing in this place, obviously, clearly the paradigm is shifting the global. The way we've done things locally in families, in the culture and globaly at large, ever. All bets are off. Right. Everything's changing. Old models are blowing up, breaking apart, and something new will be growing out of something new. There is opportunity here to create new narratives for how we live or how we love, for how we work, for how we relate to each other, for how we communicate. There will be new ways of work working, new ways of being. And and the call, of course, is towards a more sustainable future for our children, our grandchildren and the earth herself. So Camille and I both have decades of experience between us. Camille has been a hospice nurse. She has been a documentary filmmaker, eh? And she is currently an incredible ancestral family, constellation facilitator, deep, deep, deep healer. I have been a in my life a solo performer, a writer, an actor. And that's my deep root system and a story, coach and story for helping thousands of people over the last 20 years share their stories in books and on stages. So between us, we have incredible background and experience and it's very complementary yet also very unique in terms of in terms of story and the importance of story. And so we're here to share that and hopefully inspiring support you in restoring your own your own lives. And I'll just add to that part of how restoring came up for us is that we have often shared clients and what we've realized is that there is a story beneath the story and that oftentimes the story that's above ground, that's in our conscious awareness, that actually that story can reinforce suffering and and difficult dynamics in our lives.    [00:04:43] And so we we kind of came together in this commitment to help bring out a new story that is not inside conscious awareness and between the two of us. We have tools for how we do that, how we take people deep to recognize things about their own story and their own families that they may not be consciously aware of. Some now time is going to share a quote on Reece that's dedicated to restoring the mother. Exactly. So this quote is actually a quote from a friend of mine, a very dear mentor of mine for many years, Peggy O'Meara, who was the founder of Mothering magazine and which was a very, if you don't know it, innovative magazine about attachment parenting and restoring the narrative of parenting in our culture. She has impacted many, I would say hundreds of thousands, if not millions of children and families. So this quote from Peggy is the way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice. The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice. So just sort of moving into our conversation, Camille, and I know, you know, Peg goes, well, I know that quote. What does that quote mean to you? I think. What it means to me is, is it takes me actually to sort of this this lineage place, which is not a way that we think about ourselves and in this culture because we have a tendency to be so individualistic. And I think what it speaks to is the interconnectedness that the mother lives inside of us. Always. And and I think that we have sort of lost our way to track. The thing that gave us life, the things that is sort of like informing the very, very root system of our being.    [00:06:56] And so too, that's that quote for me brings that concept into conscious awareness just about how children are. These are vessels that we that we fill. And and then as the children like, part of how Tanya and I are restoring is to say, what was I filled with? What were those voices that I was filled with? And rather than. And actually being in being vulnerable, we feel the. The blessing of some of that and we feel the pain of that. And and then how do we lean into that and and move into a place of sovereignty in our own lives where we are able to take the mother with all that it cost her and all that it costs us as the one who gave us life. Some of us have have really active relationships with our mothers as friends, and and it's a very loving connection. Some people don't. Some people have very difficult histories. But the one thing that is a truth for all of us is that we all have one person who passed life on to us who is the link to our ancestral lineage. And by acknowledging that and seeing the mother as the one who passed life on it makes us stronger. And I'd love to know what you think, Tonya. Yeah. I mean, I love everything you've said, Camille, and it's so much of our work here. And I want to share very intimately a little bit about my own process with my mom, because I think about that, how the places and myself and of course and I also want to see this extends to Kosh, to all my clients I've worked with over many years, working with so many people. I'm getting on stage to share their own stories with people around their, you know, stories of having had cancer, all kinds of issues, many performers, all the intimate story.    [00:09:04] And and what I noticed is where there's creative block and where there's an inner critic. It's very likely a mother's voice. It is occasionally a teacher's voice. But the mother is so close, the aspects of our self and all that. I'll just say this for myself. The aspects of myself that have been hardest for me to heal and actually not, you know, to embrace have been areas where my mom's been critical of me. And this morning before I just sort of sit before Camille and I started this podcast, I had a little breakdown and started crying to her and saying, you know, I feel very comfortable sharing my vulnerable stories. That's actually part of what I've always been attracted to and do as a solo performer story worker. But I really judge myself and I'm highly critical of myself for where I feel unfocused, disorganized and and like messy, like I'm messy in my paperwork. I'm messy in my house. I was never formally diagnosed with ADHD as a child. I was as an adult. I often help my own clients reframe that diagnosis. I call it creative brain and Sharman's brain. You know, there's a spiritual and creative component to the way it's neurodiversity issues to its to the way we're wired. But my mom was very she was a neat nick and a bit of a control freak. And so she would really shame me honestly around like being messy. And I wasn't intentionally messy. I just didn't know how to organize things outside of myself. I can organize story internally and I can track the tiniest details to a story and never forget. But I don't organize spatially in my environment. So, you know, here I am, fifty five years old and we're doing this podcast, you know, about these deep topics that I'm like, you know, up against my own vulnerability, understanding, like that's still a part of myself.    [00:11:08] I feel really critical about almost to the point that I didn't want to get on here this morning because I thought Camille was going to judge me. Would she does it four ways I judge myself that that's still that inner voice. On a positive side, because I think with the mother so easy as Camille was saying, for us to focus on criticizing. That's been my path and my criticism back of my mother judgment made me pull away from her for decades. And my last several years have been restoring, restoring and restoring that relationship and having intimacy with my mom again. She's 80 years old that I haven't had really since I was a child. But like, I have a really unusual relationship. I would say in Western culture with my body in the sense that I. I accept myself. And I think that has to do also with my mother in my lineage. And this is very typical in Western culture. My mom was a bit overweight and my grandma was a bit overweight. And yet in our family, the emphasis wasn't on our bodies. It was on our intellect and on our and on our talent. So I was really validated for my writing talent and for being intelligent and being a good reader. Those things were very, very celebrated in my family. And I can honestly say that I went through my whole childhood without anybody criticizing or really commenting on my body. My body, my weight would go up and down. And as a teenager, I got you know, I got acne. If there wasn't a lot of commentary on the body and I'm so grateful because I worked with so many women and this is so true of the culture, women who suffer so deeply because of their body and body image and even in aging.    [00:13:06] I feel quite an unusual bit of acceptance around that. And I knew that was a tremendous skill in my female legacy that now I can really notice. So it's like. But once again, that root system of whether we've been judged and criticized or whether we thought something very healthy and positive but accepted. Boy, doesn't it show up Camille, like in us, like whatever that thing is. It's it's there in such a core way when that imprint is so young. And then, of course, extends the narrative extends forward and backwards in our generations. Yeah. And I think, you know, one of the things that I think is a result of all of what you're saying is that because we don't know how to create a home for the mother within. Right. I mean, we have a tendency to push the mother out as part of our our individuation process, but we don't know. The actual true individuation means that first I have this image of belly it in the ground. Right. Because that which shows up in my work with clients oftentimes is the sort of people field much bigger than their mothers that they're they're larger than life. And the mother is the one who's kind of feet on the ground and more grounded. And so it's about bringing people into life, being able to be the human child to that mother. And and I oftentimes we use this image of putting your belly on the ground and connecting with Mother Earth first and then coming up and seeing your mother is the one who passed life on with all the vulnerability that might be there around that. And even all the pain, just acknowledging what is you know, that's where a lot of the healing is.    [00:14:56] Because when we don't do that, as you and I have had years of conversations around and we've actually experienced this in our friendship is how tricky it is for women. Not to project their mother went on to female friends, and I think that that's one of the things that, you know, you and I have dipped in and out of. And and sometimes we've not been conscious of it, but we've we've been able to kind of come to a place where then we are conscious and and we do see kind of what's the the dynamics that are underneath sort of the reactions or the behaviors. And, you know, for me, with my own personal mother, my mom was a teenager when I was born. She was pregnant with me when she graduated from high school in nineteen sixty five. And so for me, a lot of my work has been about giving myself permission to be the child and not being the mother to the mother. And even though my mother is very much my mother, it was more like being the first born and sort of just the way that a lot of that came about in my wiring was a lot of hyper vigilance and and feeling like I needed to be the grown up at a very, very young age. And I think I love hearing your stories. And I actually have this great visual image of your mom tap dancing in a leotard. And I'm grateful to have met your mom in person. And so I I know what you're saying in terms of the body laughs that you don't have body shame. And I would say, yeah. Just to share. Can I open that up for a second? Just the image for our readers.    [00:16:32] I mean, for our listeners, my my grip, my mother and my grandmother. So my grandmother was in her mid eighties and my mom in her mid 60s and they were in a touring tap dancing group called the Dancing Grannies. And they would go around together with like six other women in the true and tap dance in their eighties and sixties in leotards. And both of them, by conventional standards, overweight. And I'll tell you, my mom and my grandma, who had to dance with her cane, were just out there selling it to the audience, like with big smiles on their faces and doing turns. And there was no body consciousness. And I got to see them in a performance back in Maryland. And, you know, it makes me cry thinking about it. An incredible gift. That is that is a gift. Unfortunately, I feel like in my family lineage that this is and I don't attribute this to my my mom personally, but, you know, I do think it has more to do with northern European ancestry and sort of this don't stand out. You know, it's almost like there's there is there is a sense of it's not OK to really be attractive or beautiful. And and I think the body shaming, it fits right in there where there's this this value, which is really great. It has to do with humility. And I think humility is an important value that definitely is part of my family system and ancestral value system. But I think the thing with humility is that it can actually move into humiliation. And when we don't know how to honor the feminine and we don't know how to honor the feminine in our in our mother line, that's transmitted to both.    [00:18:27] Two to men and women to up to all to general genders in our ancestral lineage. And and shame is such a tricky thing that it is sort of like this. It can be this toxic, silent undermining of of our our ability to even celebrate our own lives. And so that's been one of the things that I have worked on my whole life and and still work on. You know, I kind of celebrate my my own woman less than my own mother ness and my aging. You know, this is such a huge topic. I know we're going to be like unpacking this in so many ways and. Yeah, and getting out of what? Whatever that critical internalized voices. That is bigger than an individual mother. Right. Like you're connecting it back. I know you've shared with me about your Swedish ancestry in particular, like cultural stuff that has made it hard to stand out and celebrate your unique brilliance, which is so huge, but that there is a thing about that. And another thing I want to talk about just briefly is touching on like the patriarchy. Right. And I think as women, this is the era of me, too. But there's so much sort of confrontation towards men and the patriarchy around their very inappropriate behavior. You know, the sexual stuff and abuses of power, which we know runs through every facet of the story. But what I want to see is the shadow aspect to me as women, as not calling ourselves out on way, we will we stay separate from each other. And when we marginalize each other, I mean, we're hyper critical of each other. Ever we're competing rather than celebrating and collaborating with each other. We too, on the outside may be saying, you know, like down with the patriarchy, but we're in we've internalized that behavior and we're harming other women, not by being sexual predators, but we're harming other women by by our inability and unwillingness to celebrate and share power.    [00:20:44] And I just want to say that's one of the most beautiful things in our relationship, is even what we're doing here right now to me, challenge challenges that loomed that we can be too powerful, imperfect, complex women with complex histories and come here and be willing to be vulnerable. The restoring and I think an invitation to our listeners is like just a reflection on, you know, where in my head off in my my beautiful connection to love then and where. And also that we make our mothers like it's that it's that virgin whore thing right in the in the in Christianity, the Virgin and the prostitute. We split off, but rather can we allow our selves, our female friends, our daughters, our granddaughters and all our own mothers to be imperfect, complex, multidimensional humans who make mistakes and give great gifts. And, you know, and our end. Can we let ourselves be that? This reminds me of something that happened with my own daughter, my oldest daughter. That shows also the way things can change in the generations and. I remember when I started my menstrual cycle, it was all about how do I hide this, right? It was not it's uncomfortable. You know, it was messy. It was sort of the thing that, like, you just have to bear as a young woman. It's the thing that you just have to bear. And it's like the curse. Right. People talk about it as the curse of the language that we would ascribe to to what, you know, to something like in a sacred way.    [00:22:57] We think of it as the moon cycle. Right. And and I think about what my daughter went through when she started her menstrual cycle. And she literally was so excited. It was sort of like when I started and she wanted to call friends, including family, friends, male friends who were like my parents' age. She wanted to, like, announce it to the world. And I remember thinking, wow, you know, this is one of those places where a change happened. I don't know how it happened, but a change. Very significantly changed for my daughter's generation. Not that they don't carry a lot of what I carry, but I also think it's really and I loved what you said about think knowing that like why is it that we have such a hard time showing compassion to our own mothers? It's like we have this thing that they should have been perfect, but they were children, too, with their imperfect mothers. And oftentimes this is an ancestral pattern that can happen in a lot of times. The work that I do is actually one of the most fundamental things I do is to try and restore. The the nurturing and the care and the love, the flow of love in the maternal line, because it oftentimes feels so broken that there's just no nourishment. And so I've even begun bringing in breast milk as an element to try and moisten and bring back the sweetness of life to a female line. So for us to know that. All of that our mothers did. It was hard for us. Is a reflection of all that was done.    [00:24:50] It was hard for them and for us to see this as a systemic relational pattern, I think is really helpful so that we can actually understand that the suffering and the pain that we've gone through is not in vain and that it was not in vain for our mothers or their mothers and that we have the gift of this kind of consciousness right now that we can actually start to work on the repair of our lineage. I think. Yes. And I just want to say, I think this is all really radical work. And I want to really acknowledge that radical simply means to get to the root system. And the root system is the mother in our bodies, but it's also the mother earth and that the feminine and the darkness and the mother is found underground. It's our indigenous root system. And each of us was indigenous once. And you and I have had these conversations for a long time because we live here in New Mexico and are very in touch with indigenous native people to the Americas here. But we were all indigenous to a place once I was indigenous. My ancestors were indigenous to areas now known as Scotland and England and France primarily and Ireland and and rather than appropriate indigenous culture of other people to return and heal the mother wound. I know for me it's been so deeply about returning to a sense of my of my own indigenous nature and also walking things out on the land, getting with the roots, being with the earth herself to heal my human relationship with my mother. And if we've projected the split of the planet right now and our relationship with the earth on our one individual mother, how how can she hold that? No one can hold that.    [00:26:58] We're projecting the collective conscious and the wounded and the mother in this moment and going back generations on this one human. And it's so humbling because I have a daughter. You have two daughters. So humbling when my daughter was in adolescence and that her anger, her own anger started coming to me. And I wanted to say, Chloe, I'm not that it was so big. But then to understand, I'd done the same to my own mother, making all of the traumas of life, the patriarchy, being a woman, having, you know, terrible sexual and violent experiences. And put projecting that all on this one human, my mother, the struggling human. And then watching my daughter do it to me, but returning to our own connection with the darkness underground. The roots of the mother, right? What do you want to say about that? Because we talk about this stuff all the time. Well, and I think when we think of the underground, it's that which is not in conscious awareness. It includes death. It includes the life that is germinating in the seed that holds up everything that it needs to reproduce. You know, it's the things actually don't really die. They change. There is this cycle of birth, death and rebirth that's held underground. That is part of our inheritance. And we oftentimes are walking around living a half life because we're only connected above ground, which means most of us are walking around, connected from the valley up, you know, very much so that we are not grounded from literally nothing down on. And anyway, so this is what a great conversation. What a great first episode. I'm very excited about how this is going to unfold. And it's, as always, such an inspiration to be able to go to these deep places for you, because as we laugh and talk about sometimes we both have like an allergy to small talk.    [00:29:07] So that's how we get right. That's how we got our subtitle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's wonderful. And the last thing I want to say is to our listeners and we're grateful you're here. And you know, all of this all this conversation is not in the bubble. We're including you. We're sharing our own intimacy. But it's it's we're including we're including you. And I think what that means will reveal itself more and more as we go. But we're honored to bring you into our intimate space. And we were just talking about it this morning. You know, the culture is dying of intimacy. We're all longing for intimacy. And that's why we're showing up. And it can be a practice to learn to risk being intimate in what can often feel like an unsafe world. And yet the intimacy with ourselves and each other really just may be part of the medicine for these times of restoring getting closer when the impulses to want to move away. And so I guess I just want to say the invitation here is we're inviting you in closer with. I think the nexus of intimacy and our ability to have relationship. It is tied to the mother. So thank you for being with us.   

Tanya Taylor Rubinstein is a story and business mentor. She is devoted to changing global narratives by supporting depth based visionaries in writing and publishing their memoirs, and writing and performing their one person shows. Her work has been featured in Oprah magazine, Spirituality and Health, and on The CBS Early Show. Her clients have performed their shows off-broadway and at conferences and festivals all over world. Tanya is primarily based in Santa Fe. Her website is storyleaderglobal.com.   Tanya spoke so beautifully about her journey in being a soul rebel and following her soul, and in radical surrender. She has been obsessed with the power of stories since she was little and now helps liberate people by sharing their story.     Things We Learned From This Episode Tips to tap into your own personal stories is to journal regularly, make a list of all your passions and obsessions and look for what Tanya calls the 'shimmering images' and record yourself recalling memories until you feel it in your body. Stories don't live in our head, they live in our body. You need to slow down to click into your body and allow for the story to emerge. Every story matters, and now is the time to rewrite the global story by rewriting our own stories.   Connect with Tanya about birthing your own story.           Enjoying the show? For iTunes listeners, get automatic downloads and share the love by subscribing, rating & reviewing here!   *Share what you are struggling with or looking to transform with Julie at podcast@juliereisler.com. Julie would love to start covering topics of highest interest to YOU. Please also let us know if you are interested to be a guest on her show to discuss where you are stuck, and do live coaching with Julie on her podcast.    Connect with Tanya Taylor Rubinstein   Instagram: @tanyataylorrubinstein   Facebook LinkedIn Website: www.StoryLeaderGlobal.com   Download our podcast interview with Tanya Taylor Rubinstein here on iTunes   Join host Julie Reisler, author and multi-time TEDx speaker, each week to learn how you can tap into your best self and become your You-est You® to achieve inner peace, happiness and success at a deeper level! Tune in to hear powerful, inspirational stories and expert insights from entrepreneurs, industry thought leaders, and extraordinary human beings that will help to transform your life. Julie also shares a-ha moments that have shaped her life and career, and discusses key concepts from her book Get a PhD in YOU   Here's to your being your you-est you!  You-est You Links: Subscribe to the Podcast  Learn more at JulieReisler.com Book Julie as a speaker at your upcoming event Amazon #1 Best selling book Get a PhD in YOU Download free guided-meditations from Insight Timer  Julie's Hungry For More Online Program (10 Module Interactive Course)

The Power of Storytelling. In this episode, Michele interviews Tanya Taylor Rubinstein, the “Global Story Coach” internationally recognized as an expert in the field of solo performance and story coaching. She is also the CEO of S-School, an online training program for professional story coaches. Tanya works with solo performers, female entrepreneurs, and story coaches to earn money utilizing stories to connect deeply with themselves and their clients. Here, Tanya talks about the transformative work she did in her own life–and how that work has impacted her business over the last 30 years. In this episode, you learn: Why the art of storytelling can be the key to success in your biz. How to leverage the kind of visibility you (and your business) need. How to change your belief systems so you can succeed. How to make money using your greatest gifts. And so much more. Tanya also delves into her past and talks about growing up with parents who very much had a fear-based outlook on money; this led her to believe that it was better to be broke than to have anything at all to do with money. She spent years untangling that belief system, and creating new beliefs that aligned with her greatest gifts. Now, she is a successful business owner and story coach. Tanya has dedicated her life to supporting others on their creative and spiritual journeys. She is passionate about helping people share their message with the world through their stories, in a transparent, authentic way. To learn more about Tanya Taylor Rubinstein, visit her website at https://tanyataylorrubinstein.com or go here and request to join her private Facebook page, “Alchemists of Story and Soul,” where you can learn more about her current offer—a free service to outline your non-fiction book (to establish yourself as an expert in your field), or memoir. To continue this conversation, hop on over to the Love-Based Business Movement Facebook Group, where you can ask your questions and be a part of the conversation to shift our businesses and lives to a foundation of love. And, if this topic resonated with you, you may be interested in Michele PW’s book, “Love-Based Money and Mindset: Make the Money You Desire Without Selling Your Soul.” It’s available at most online retailers, here.

Our guest Cidny Bullens cindybullens.com joined Ilona Europa's "Accent On" and Mike Gormley to talk about her career, transition, her new presentation "SOMEWHERE BETWEEN: Not an ordinary life". an autobiographical solo show written and performed by Cidny Bullens. Directed by Tanya Taylor Rubinstein, the show is a multimedia theatrical production with live performances, by Cidny, of songs past and present.". Part #3 of Segment called "Accent on Gormley"

Our guest Cidny Bullens cindybullens.com joined Ilona Europa's "Accent On" and Mike Gormley to talk about her career, transition, her new presentation "SOMEWHERE BETWEEN: Not an ordinary life". an autobiographical solo show written and performed by Cidny Bullens. Directed by Tanya Taylor Rubinstein, the show is a multimedia theatrical production with live performances, by Cidny, of songs past and present.". Part #3 of Segment called "Accent on Gormley"

A few words from Joanna and the performance of her piece at The Election Monologues in Santa Fe. The Election Monologues was a nationwide event performed in 12 cities across the country (and one in Canada) on Inauguration Day – January 20th, 2017. The event was conceived by Tanya Taylor Rubinstein and Kerri Lowe. The […] The post A few words from Joanna appeared first on Future Primitive Podcasts.

Tanya Taylor Rubinstein speaks with Joanna about: the story in an embodied way; walking the path of tenacity; a moment of revelation: Spalding Gray’s solo performance; story and spirituality; intimacy and safety in storytelling; solo performance: the key connection with the public; the Global School of Story; teaching the skills of storytelling; radical transformation through […] The post Telling the New Story appeared first on Future Primitive Podcasts.