Gay Men Going Deeper

After unpacking our culture's obsession with “perfect” bodies, this week we're flipping the script. In this episode, we're celebrating what's actually hot: the things that don't get enough love in the gay world. We're talking dad bods, wrinkles, kindness, confidence, awkward charm, conversational skills, and all the real stuff that makes someone magnetic.  Some of the things we're talking about: How social media perpetuates social norms that don't fit  The traits we find sexy that don't get enough love  Stories of when we've fallen for people outside our type  The roles of dating apps in attraction and rejection How our types have changed (and how they haven't) This is our love letter to all the guys out there who feel they aren't sexy because they don't fit the mold. It's time to expand our definition of sexy and give some overdue appreciation where it's due. Today's Hosts: Michael DiIorio Matt Landsiedel Reno Johnston Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report. Chapters (00:00:00) - Gay Men Going Deep: What's Really Sexy?(00:01:15) - How To Survive A Culture of Body Perfection(00:03:42) - The Real Sexy, Unmarketed(00:04:42) - Celebrating What's Real(00:05:09) - What Is Something That You Think Is Sexy About Your Guy?(00:06:02) - 5 Things That Make A Guy Sexy(00:08:03) - What's The Sexiest Walk?(00:08:55) - Michael's Signature Walk(00:09:45) - Alexandra On Being Hot For Quirkies(00:12:44) - People Compare Their Feet To Hands(00:14:58) - What's The Non Physical Attraction Of Gay People?(00:18:37) - Dad Bods and Big Nose(00:21:23) - Oh, Lisps and Accents(00:21:58) - Connection Circle(00:22:58) - My Types Are Different(00:27:06) - I Should've Swiped On Grindr Instead Of Dating(00:31:10) - Are You My Type?(00:34:44) - Matt Reno And Chris Hemsworth On Being Unorthodox(00:37:34) - Michael Jackson On His Hotness(00:39:37) - Thank You!!!

From the gym to social media, gay men are constantly surrounded by images of the “ideal” body. But what does all this perfection chasing actually cost us? In this episode, we explore how body perfection culture impacts gay men on a deeper level: from belonging and self-worth to intimacy and identity. We open up about our own journeys with body image— how we've moved from obsession to acceptance, where it still sneaks in today, and what we've learned along the way. You'll hear us unpack: Why body image matters more for gay men How fitness and self-worth often get mixed up The difference between caring for your body and obsessing over it How to stop letting your reflection decide your mood Practical ways to reclaim confidence and self-respect If you've ever felt like a “perfect” body will earn you love, attention, or belonging, this one's for you. Today's Hosts: Matt Landsiedel Michael DiIorio Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report. Chapters (00:00:00) - Gaiman Going Deep: The Culture of Body Perfection(00:01:52) - How to Love Your Body (Without Perfection)(00:05:50) - Does the Culture of Body Perfection Impact You?(00:09:07) - The Help I Learned To Love My Body(00:13:40) - What Do You Think You Need To Look To Be Attractive?(00:16:08) - November 6: The Culture of Body Perfection(00:16:55) - Letting Go Of Body Perfection(00:22:08) - "Self-worth is not solely based on your body"(00:24:42) - Body Positivity(00:26:33) - What Have We Done To Mitigate Body Perfection Culture?(00:30:41) - What Have I Done To Prevent Body Perfection Pressure?(00:35:43) - Neil Gaiman on The Gay Brotherhood(00:36:53) - The Hard Work of Being Gay(00:37:30) - Gay People Go To the Gym(00:41:27) - Gay culture's need for belonging(00:43:13) - Gay Men's Brotherhood Podcast

In this episode, we dive into what radical honesty really means- not the brutally blunt “telling it like it is” version, but the deeper, more vulnerable kind that lets you actually be known. We explore why being honest is both terrifying and liberating, the subtle ways we still avoid it, and how honesty differs from harsh truth-telling. We share our own struggles with showing up honestly in dating, friendships, and community, and why the outcome isn't always pretty… but is always worth it. If honesty is one of your personal values (or you want it to be)  this episode will give you plenty to reflect on. And if you're enjoying these more relaxed, conversational episodes, let us know. We've been loving creating them. Today's Hosts: Matt Landsiedel Michael DiIorio Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report. Chapters (00:00:00) - Game & Going Deeper: The Gaiman Brothers Podcast(00:00:26) - What is Radical HONOR?(00:04:35) - Being Candid With My Partner(00:06:25) - How To Talk About Jealousy In Relationships(00:10:04) - Radical honesty can be a beautiful tool to heal intimacy(00:14:36) - Radical Alignment: The Benefits of Real Love(00:20:06) - Radical Honesty and the Relationship(00:22:38) - What are some other things that you need to practice radical honesty in(00:27:51) - Slices With Matt Maher(00:28:20) - What's Hard for You to Share?

Today we're diving into one of the most iconic (and hilarious) parts of gay culture: labels. In this episode, we unpack why gay men are so obsessed with categories like “twink,” “daddy,” “masc,” “otter,” “guy next door,” and every micro-label in between… and how these identities shape the way we date, belong, and see ourselves. We explore: Why labels can feel empowering (and sometimes limiting) How they create tribe, shorthand, and community When they become boxes we get stuck in How attraction, identity, and insecurity get wrapped into these roles What happens when you “grow out” of a label or never fit one at all It's a fun, honest look at the ways we use labels to navigate gay life:  where they help, where they fall short, and why they matter more than most of us want to admit. If you enjoy these more conversational episodes, let us know… we're trying something new. Today's Hosts: Matt Landsiedel Michael DiIorio Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report. Chapters (00:00:00) - Gay Men Going Deep: A Short Talk(00:01:02) - What Gay Labels Do You Use?(00:05:21) - Gay People Don't Like Labels(00:08:40) - In the Gay Community's Elite Communities(00:11:56) - Gay Men Let Go Of Their Identities(00:17:07) - The Negative Connotations of Labels(00:21:34) - Gay People Play With Their Identities(00:24:54) - Spontaneous Conversation With The Gaiman's Brotherhood

Today we're diving into one of the most iconic (and hilarious) parts of gay culture: labels. In this episode, we unpack why gay men are so obsessed with categories like “twink,” “daddy,” “masc,” “otter,” “guy next door,” and every micro-label in between… and how these identities shape the way we date, belong, and see ourselves. We explore: Why labels can feel empowering (and sometimes limiting) How they create tribe, shorthand, and community When they become boxes we get stuck in How attraction, identity, and insecurity get wrapped into these roles What happens when you “grow out” of a label or never fit one at all It's a fun, honest look at the ways we use labels to navigate gay life: where they help, where they fall short, and why they matter more than most of us want to admit. If you enjoy these more conversational episodes, let us know… we're trying something new. Today's Hosts: Matt Landsiedel Michael DiIorio Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

Today we're talking about The Slow Fade:  that slow, quiet drifting apart where the messages get shorter, the replies slower, and the energy shifts until one day…it's just silence. In this episode, we're unpacking: Why we quietly quit people instead of having real conversations What's actually happening beneath the surface for both sides — the Fader and the Fadee Who deserves an explanation and who doesn't  What can we do instead of fading away  If you've ever been on either side of The Slow Fade, this conversation will help you see what's really going on underneath, and how to move through it with more clarity, courage, and integrity. Today's Hosts: Michael DiIorio Matt Landsiedel Reno Johnston Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report. Chapters (00:00:05) - Gay Men Going Deeper: The Slow Fade(00:01:12) - Why We're Always Ghosting(00:01:53) - What Is The Slow Fade?(00:03:17) - How To Deal With An Uncomfortable Relationship(00:08:02) - What To Do About A faded Love Letter(00:10:20) - What's The Slow Fade?(00:14:06) - Gay Men Talk About Dating Apps(00:15:05) - Matt on Slow Fade(00:19:17) - In the Elevator With Real People(00:20:38) - A Sense of Community With Neil Gaiman(00:21:42) - The Fader and the Fade(00:22:42) - The Signs That Someone Is Starting To Distance From You(00:26:51) - When You're Not Enough, Do You Lash Out?(00:28:44) - Fader: Being Honest With My Friends(00:30:34) - The Slow Fade(00:34:52) - Reno on His Heartbreak(00:36:16) - Slow Fling(00:37:44) - The Gay Men's Brotherhood(00:41:30) - How to Deal With An Avoidant Partner(00:45:32) - You Can't Force People To Tell You Things(00:46:52) - Gaiman's Brotherhood

Today we're talking about The Slow Fade: that slow, quiet drifting apart where the messages get shorter, the replies slower, and the energy shifts until one day…it's just silence. In this episode, we're unpacking: Why we quietly quit people instead of having real conversations What's actually happening beneath the surface for both sides — the Fader and the Fadee Who deserves an explanation and who doesn't  What can we do instead of fading away  If you've ever been on either side of The Slow Fade, this conversation will help you see what's really going on underneath, and how to move through it with more clarity, courage, and integrity. Today's Hosts: Michael DiIorio Matt Landsiedel Reno Johnston Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

What we want you to gain from this episode is the importance of non-sexualized, safe, and brave spaces for gay men to heal and grow together. By the end of this episode, you will be able to identify what a nest is, how you could benefit from one, and where to find or create one if you are interested in nesting. The concepts and questions we explore in this episode are: What is “nesting” and why is it important for gay men? What moments in our lives require the need for nesting? How do we know when we're “nested” — or when we're not? What makes a nest truly safe? How do you tend and protect a nest once it's formed? What could gay culture look like if nesting became normal? What's one small way you can begin nesting today? Today's Guest: Nigel Pedlingham Gay Men's Retreat Instagram LinkedIn Today's Host: Matt Landsiedel Facebook Instagram TikTok Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Chapters (00:00:05) - Gaiman Going Deeper: The Need for Gay Sexual Spaces(00:01:44) - The Nested Experience(00:07:27) - The Neve of Gay Men(00:10:48) - Are Gay Nests Sexual?(00:17:38) - The Need for Self-Compassion(00:23:32) - Exploring the Body in Gay Groups(00:26:36) - Why are these spaces so important for gay and queer men?(00:29:15) - How to help lone wolves(00:31:51) - What Makes You Feel Like You're a Real Person?(00:33:58) - What Makes Gay Men Feel Like They Deserve Their Love?(00:39:06) - How to Connect with Others(00:40:53) - Finding a nest(00:44:34) - An offering to the sacred men(00:46:52) - Let's Nest

What we want you to gain from this episode is the importance of non-sexualized, safe, and brave spaces for gay men to heal and grow together. By the end of this episode, you will be able to identify what a nest is, how you could benefit from one, and where to find or create one if you are interested in nesting. The concepts and questions we explore in this episode are: What is “nesting” and why is it important for gay men? What moments in our lives require the need for nesting? How do we know when we're “nested” — or when we're not? What makes a nest truly safe? How do you tend and protect a nest once it's formed? What could gay culture look like if nesting became normal? What's one small way you can begin nesting today? Today's Guest: Nigel Pedlingham Gay Men's Retreat Instagram LinkedIn Today's Host: Matt Landsiedel Facebook Instagram TikTok Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

We all say we want love… but are we actually open to receiving it? In this episode, we're going deeper into what it really means to open your heart. From the subtle subconscious programming that keeps love at arm's length to the sneaky ways we self-sabotage, we're unpacking the hidden barriers that make intimacy feel unsafe (even when we crave it most). You'll learn: Why receiving love can feel harder than giving it How old conditioning teaches us to block love without realizing it The difference between performing for love and allowing it in Practical ways to build safety, self-trust, and openness in all forms of love—romantic, platonic, and self If you find yourself pushing love away, deflecting compliments, or find yourself stuck in patterns that keep intimacy just out of reach—this one's for you. Today's Hosts: Michael DiIorio Matt Landsiedel Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report. Chapters (00:00:02) - Gaiman Going Deeper: How to Open Your Heart to Love(00:02:43) - The Secret to Feeling Love(00:05:36) - When I Can't Receive Love(00:10:25) - Navy Green and The Beauty of Technology(00:10:41) - Why It's So Hard To Receive Love(00:15:35) - What I'm Most Afraid Of(00:18:18) - In What Ways Has It Been Difficult to Receive Love From(00:19:33) - What Does It Look Like To Receive Love?(00:23:04) - Letting Yourself Receive Love(00:24:07) - Receiving Love From Others(00:29:03) - How to Learn How to Receive Love(00:30:35) - 5 Tips for Open Your Heart to Love(00:34:51) - How to Open Your Heart to Love(00:41:03) - Gay Men Talking About Love(00:44:04) - Gayman's Brotherhood: Unpacking Love

We all say we want love… but are we actually open to receiving it? In this episode, we're going deeper into what it really means to open your heart. From the subtle subconscious programming that keeps love at arm's length to the sneaky ways we self-sabotage, we're unpacking the hidden barriers that make intimacy feel unsafe (even when we crave it most). You'll learn: Why receiving love can feel harder than giving it How old conditioning teaches us to block love without realizing it The difference between performing for love and allowing it in Practical ways to build safety, self-trust, and openness in all forms of love—romantic, platonic, and self If you find yourself pushing love away, deflecting compliments, or find yourself stuck in patterns that keep intimacy just out of reach—this one's for you. Today's Hosts: Michael DiIorio Matt Landsiedel Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

Some of us don't fall in love with people, we fall in love with an idea of them. The story, the potential, the fantasy of the perfect boyfriend who finally makes everything click. But that idealized version of love often keeps us chasing what looks right instead of what feels real. In this episode, Michael DiIorio and therapist, Michael Pezzullo, explore how fantasy, perfectionism, and external validation shape the way we love- and why chasing the ideal often keeps us from the real thing. We'll unpack: What it looks like to fall in love with potential - and why we do it  How to tell the difference between healthy excitement and mental storytelling How seeking the “perfect” partner keeps us single or dissatisfied How to stop chasing the ideal and let love be more organic and human Whether letting go of the fantasy means “settling for less” If you've ever been in love with potential or the picture-perfect relationship, this conversation will help you come back to reality…where real connection actually happens. Today's Guest: Michael Pezzullo Website Instagram Today's Host: Michael DiIorio Website Instagram Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Ta... Chapters (00:00:00) - Gay Men Going Deeper: Falling In Love With The Fantasy(00:01:47) - What Is Love And The Perfect Relationship?(00:04:03) - Falling In Love With Potential(00:05:02) - Have You Ever Fall In Love With Potential?(00:07:47) - How To Tell When You're Falling In Love With a Potential Partner(00:10:15) - What I Learned From Falling In Love With Fantasy(00:14:17) - What I Wish I Knew About Falling For My Guy(00:17:11) - Chasing A Single Guy(00:19:25) - Gay Men's Brotherhood Connection Circles(00:20:31) - The Perfect Boyfriend Myth(00:22:19) - What Are Some Standards That Gay People Have For Their Love Relationships(00:27:09) - "And It's Proof To Who?"(00:27:18) - Michael on Dating and Being Single(00:32:08) - Michael: Don't Have A List Of Qualities For Dating(00:34:41) - What Advice Would You Give Someone Who's Chasing Perfection(00:40:05) - "The More Perfect My Relationship, the More Lovable I Am(00:43:06) - How to Connect with People(00:43:16) - Gaming Going Deeper: Falling In Love With The Fantasy

Some of us don't fall in love with people, we fall in love with an idea of them. The story, the potential, the fantasy of the perfect boyfriend who finally makes everything click. But that idealized version of love often keeps us chasing what looks right instead of what feels real. In this episode, Michael and therapist, Michael Pezzullo, explore how fantasy, perfectionism, and external validation shape the way we love- and why chasing the ideal often keeps us from the real thing. We'll unpack: What it looks like to fall in love with potential - and why we do it  How to tell the difference between healthy excitement and mental storytelling How seeking the “perfect” partner keeps us single or dissatisfied How to stop chasing the ideal and let love be more organic and human Whether letting go of the fantasy means “settling for less” If you've ever been in love with potential or the picture-perfect relationship, this conversation will help you come back to reality…where real connection actually happens. Today's Guest: Michael Pezzullo Website Instagram Today's Host: Michael DiIorio Website Instagram Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

Why does joy feel so hard to hold onto? In this episode of Gay Men Going Deeper, we're revealing the joy killers: those sneaky ways we sabotage happiness even when life is going well. We explore: The difference between chasing pleasure and cultivating joy Foreboding joy (a.k.a. waiting for the other shoe to drop) and how it robs us of the present. How trauma and disappointment condition us to expect loss  The role of protector parts and self-sabotage in keeping joy at arm's length. What we're really trying to protect ourselves from when we don't let joy all the way in. By the end, you'll see how internalized shame, fear, and control kill our joy- and how practicing gratitude, presence, and vulnerability can help us reclaim it. Today's Hosts: Michael DiIorio Matt Landsiedel Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report. Chapters (00:00:00) - Gay Men Going Deep: How and Why We Sabotage Our(00:01:18) - Happy Life: Chasing Joy(00:03:23) - Why Joy Is Hard(00:04:59) - What is the biggest joy killer for you?(00:06:57) - How To Stop Comparing Yourself With Others(00:10:14) - Learning How to Deal With Criticism(00:12:46) - Inside the Inner Critic(00:14:31) - The Joy of the Game Men's Brotherhood(00:15:39) - The 'Foreboding Joy' of Love(00:20:06) - "Be Joy in Your 40s!"(00:21:56) - How To Deal With The 'Other shoe To Drop'(00:25:45) - How To Find Security and Stability Attractive(00:28:31) - Healing Your Shame(00:29:28) - What Are We Protecting From Joy?(00:34:03) - Adam Levine on Being Vulnerable With People(00:37:57) - "I Love You"(00:38:20) - Beyond Fear: How to Love Yourself(00:40:19) - Thank You!

Why does joy feel so hard to hold onto? In this episode of Gay Men Going Deeper, we're revealing the joy killers: those sneaky ways we sabotage happiness even when life is going well. We explore: The difference between chasing pleasure and cultivating joy Foreboding joy (a.k.a. waiting for the other shoe to drop) and how it robs us of the present. How trauma and disappointment condition us to expect loss  The role of protector parts and self-sabotage in keeping joy at arm's length. What we're really trying to protect ourselves from when we don't let joy all the way in. By the end, you'll see how internalized shame, fear, and control kill our joy- and how practicing gratitude, presence, and vulnerability can help us reclaim it. Today's Hosts: Michael DiIorio Matt Landsiedel Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

What would your day, your week, your next year, or even your life look like if you spent it following your joy? What if joy became your North Star? Your guiding light? Your compass? What is in the way of you experiencing more joy in your life?  What if you could find joy in how you dress, what you eat, how you exercise, where you live, what you do for work, who you spend time with, and how you navigate your day to day life?  These, and more, are the questions we'll cover in this intuitive and inspired conversation around following your joy. True to form, you will be joining Reno on location at Sunset Beach, in beautiful Vancouver, British Columbia, where he followed his joy down to the beach where he fell in love with Vancouver, so that he could not just talk about following your joy, but embody it. Note: You may occasionally hear some fun background noise, which actually becomes part of the conversation, so you'll want to keep listening. Today's Host: Reno Johnston Instagram Facebook Schedule a Zoom Call Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report. Chapters (00:00:01) - The Gay Men Going Deeper: Joy(00:05:14) - What have you noticed in your life gets in the way of enjoyment(00:11:35) - When You're Living Life in Joy(00:14:34) - Follow Your Joy in Life(00:19:21) - What Precedes Joy?(00:21:20) - Coming into the Place of Joy(00:26:56) - What Does Following Your Joy Look Like For You?

What would your day, your week, your next year, or even your life look like if you spent it following your joy? What if joy became your North Star? Your guiding light? Your compass? What is in the way of you experiencing more joy in your life? What if you could find joy in how you dress, what you eat, how you exercise, where you live, what you do for work, who you spend time with, and how you navigate your day to day life? These, and more, are the questions we'll cover in this intuitive and inspired conversation around following your joy. True to form, you will be joining Reno on location at Sunset Beach, in beautiful Vancouver, British Columbia, where he followed his joy down to the beach where he fell in love with Vancouver, so that he could not just talk about following your joy, but embody it. Note: You may occasionally hear some fun background noise, which actually becomes part of the conversation, so you'll want to keep listening. Today's Host: Reno Johnston Instagram Facebook Schedule a Zoom Call Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

Joy isn't just fireworks and big milestones; it's in the ordinary, everyday moments we often overlook. Yet for many of us, joy feels slippery and hard to find.  In this episode of Gay Men Going Deeper, we're diving into what joy really feels like, how it shifts as we evolve and age, and why it's less about chasing highs and more about cultivating presence. We'll explore: The difference between joy and pleasure (and why we confuse them) Joy-givers vs. joy-suckers (and how to spot yours) The role of play, laughter, and lightheartedness in a joyful life How to deepen your relationship with joy in your next chapter Why joy is a skill you can practice, not just a mood you stumble into If you're ready to move beyond quick fixes and start building a life that feels nourishing, playful, and deeply fulfilling, this conversation is for you. Today's Hosts: Michael DiIorio Matt Landsiedel Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report. Chapters (00:00:00) - Gay Men Going Deeper: How to Find More Joy In Your(00:01:44) - How to Find More Joy in Your Life(00:03:56) - What Joy Is and What Joy Isn't(00:07:53) - What brings you joy in life?(00:12:20) - A Dharma Walk for the Soul(00:14:29) - How I'm Starting to Feel Joy Again(00:18:06) - What Does Joy Feel Like For You?(00:19:11) - How to Develop a Relationship with Joy in the Next Chapter of Your(00:22:30) - What about that brings you joy?(00:27:15) - How to Prioritize Presence Over Productivity at 40(00:31:44) - What can bring you joy in your life?(00:33:04) - How to Find More Joy in Your Life(00:34:31) - Matt Has A List of Joy(00:37:21) - How to Find Joy in the Present(00:38:21) - "Joy Can Be Vulnerable For Men"(00:39:17) - How to Laugh at Your Inner Critic(00:40:27) - How to Find More Joy in Your Life(00:43:24) - Making Play a Priority(00:45:36) - Welcome More Joy Into Your Life(00:46:20) - Gaimans Brotherhood: Going Deep

Joy isn't just fireworks and big milestones; it's in the ordinary, everyday moments we often overlook. Yet for many of us, joy feels slippery and hard to find. In this episode of Gay Men Going Deeper, we're diving into what joy really feels like, how it shifts as we evolve and age, and why it's less about chasing highs and more about cultivating presence. We'll explore: The difference between joy and pleasure (and why we confuse them) Joy-givers vs. joy-suckers (and how to spot yours) The role of play, laughter, and lightheartedness in a joyful life How to deepen your relationship with joy in your next chapter Why joy is a skill you can practice, not just a mood you stumble into If you're ready to move beyond quick fixes and start building a life that feels nourishing, playful, and deeply fulfilling, this conversation is for you. Today's Hosts: Michael DiIorio Matt Landsiedel Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

You know the type — ambitious, perfectionistic, and always striving to do more and be more… yet secretly fuelled by pressure, anxiety, and fear.   In this episode, Michael is joined by special guest Scott Stirrett as they share their own stories of hustling for achievement and how they've learned to stay ambitious without destroying themselves in the process. Together, they unpack how perfectionism, internalized shame, and the need for external validation can be ways we attempt to outrun our insecurities — and pivot toward ambition that's healthy, sustainable, and soul-driven.  Topics covered in this episode: Why gay men are uniquely wired for overachievement How perfectionism shows up in covert and overt ways  How adversity can build anti-fragility and real confidence The difference between healthy ambition vs shame-fuelled hustle Learning to slow down without feeling lazy, guilty, or like you're falling behind  Rewiring your motivation so it feeds you instead of drains you  By the end of this episode, you'll be inspired to pursue success in a way that keeps you driven and impactful — without burning yourself out — and to start measuring your worth from the inside out. Today's Guest: Scott Stirrett LinkedIn Instagram Today's Host: Michael DiIorio Instagram Men's Group Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Chapters (00:00:00) - Gay Men Going Deeper: Overachieving Gays(00:01:39) - How I Became A Perfect Male Athlete: The Shame(00:08:11) - Scott on Struggles With Self-Valuation(00:13:35) - The Need For External Validation In Gay Men(00:19:17) - How to Get Out of Gay Workplaces(00:21:52) - Gay Men: The Importance of Internal Validation(00:25:30) - The Gay Men's Brotherhood(00:26:34) - What Does Healthy Willing Look Like vs Perfectionism?(00:31:22) - Coming Out: Don't Be Afraid of Failure(00:36:57) - Mental Health Support for Men(00:40:20) - Self-Motivation and the Uncertainty Advantage(00:42:47) - What's Your Tipping Point?(00:43:48) - Michael Jackson on His End(00:44:24) - Healthy Work Life Balance(00:46:47) - Michael Buble Reveals His Personal Values(00:50:52) - How to Say No to Stuff(00:57:00) - Developing self-efficacy through challenging times(00:59:06) - Gabor Mate on Gay Men's Trauma(01:03:40) - Scott Courteney on The Uncertainty Advantage

You know the type — ambitious, perfectionistic, and always striving to do more and be more… yet secretly fuelled by pressure, anxiety, and fear. In this episode, Michael is joined by special guest Scott Stirrett as they share their own stories of hustling for achievement and how they've learned to stay ambitious without destroying themselves in the process. Together, they unpack how perfectionism, internalized shame, and the need for external validation can be ways we attempt to outrun our insecurities — and pivot toward ambition that's healthy, sustainable, and soul-driven. Topics covered in this episode: Why gay men are uniquely wired for overachievement How perfectionism shows up in covert and overt ways How adversity can build anti-fragility and real confidence The difference between healthy ambition vs shame-fuelled hustle Learning to slow down without feeling lazy, guilty, or like you're falling behind Rewiring your motivation so it feeds you instead of drains you By the end of this episode, you'll be inspired to pursue success in a way that keeps you driven and impactful — without burning yourself out — and to start measuring your worth from the inside out. Today's Guest: Scott Stirrett LinkedIn Instagram Today's Host: Michael DiIorio Instagram Men's Group Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

In this final installment of our 4-part series on grief, we explore the powerful practice of Radical Acceptance—what it means, why it's so difficult, and how it becomes the turning point in your healing journey. Whether you're grieving the person you used to be, mourning a friendship that faded, or facing the slow heartbreak of watching your parents age, grief often leaves us wrestling with reality. Radical acceptance is what allows us to stop fighting what is, and start living again with peace, presence, and purpose. Topics we explore in this episode include: What radical acceptance really means (and why it's radical) How it differs from giving up, resignation, or bypassing Why acceptance is often the hardest part of grief The role of faith and inner trust when you're still hurting Personal stories of surrender, softness, and finding peace How to move forward when closure isn't coming This episode offers a hopeful, grounded perspective for anyone still sitting with loss, longing, or unanswered questions. Today's Hosts: Michael DiIorio Matt Landsiedel Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report. Chapters (00:00:00) - Going Deeper: Radical Acceptance(00:01:08) - How to Deal With Grief(00:04:57) - The Radical Acceptance of Suffering(00:07:38) - Coming to Acceptance of Chronic Pain(00:11:24) - Accepting One's Gay Identity(00:15:41) - Do You Think Your Sexuality Is Introspective?(00:17:46) - The Radical Acceptance of Gay People(00:18:32) - Radical Acceptance in the Gay Men's Brotherhood(00:19:31) - What helps you move into Acceptance while you're still hurting?(00:22:47) - The 7 Stages of Grief(00:26:31) - Grieving the Loss of a Friend(00:27:21) - What is Surrender and Acceptance?(00:30:56) - 5 of My Favorite Coping Statements(00:32:48) - What final tips do you have for people?(00:33:09) - A Taste of Grief

In this final installment of our 4-part series on grief, we explore the powerful practice of Radical Acceptance—what it means, why it's so difficult, and how it becomes the turning point in your healing journey. Whether you're grieving the person you used to be, mourning a friendship that faded, or facing the slow heartbreak of watching your parents age, grief often leaves us wrestling with reality. Radical acceptance is what allows us to stop fighting what is, and start living again with peace, presence, and purpose. Topics we explore in this episode include: What radical acceptance really means (and why it's radical) How it differs from giving up, resignation, or bypassing Why acceptance is often the hardest part of grief The role of faith and inner trust when you're still hurting Personal stories of surrender, softness, and finding peace How to move forward when closure isn't coming This episode offers a hopeful, grounded perspective for anyone still sitting with loss, longing, or unanswered questions. Today's Hosts: Michael DiIorio Matt Landsiedel Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

As our parents get older, many of us are faced with a new kind of grief- the quiet, ongoing loss that comes not from death, but from watching the people who once raised us begin to slow down and need us in ways they never did before. In this deeply personal episode, we open up about the emotional complexity of witnessing our parents age. From role reversals and unresolved wounds, to meaningful moments and surprising lessons, we reflect on how our relationships with our parents evolve, and how it stirs up questions of our own mortality.   We explore: The quiet grief of losing parts of who they were The guilt, tenderness, and sometimes resentment of becoming the caretaker How aging parents trigger our own fears about time, mortality, and purpose Ways to heal, connect, and make meaningful memories before it's too late This is an episode for anyone navigating that in-between space—where love, loss, and legacy all live at once. Today's Hosts: Michael DiIorio Matt Landsiedel Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report. Chapters (00:00:00) - Going Deeper: The Grief of Watching Your Parents Age(00:02:05) - As Your Parents Age, Do You Grieve?(00:04:06) - What Comes Up For You When You Think About Your Parents Aging?(00:08:28) - On How Close Is Your Parents With You?(00:09:43) - One Empath's Thoughts On Her Parents' Aging(00:13:23) - Who's To Be My Caregiver When My Parents Die?(00:16:10) - How Has Your Relationship With Your Parents Changed As They Get Older?(00:18:38) - Queens Talk About Being a Parent's Caregiver(00:22:32) - How's My Relationship With My Parents Changed As They've Get Older(00:24:51) - How To Develop a Better Relationship With Your Parents(00:26:18) - What Lessons Are You Learning From Watching Your Parents Age?(00:30:07) - What Lessons Are You Learning From Watching Your Parents Age?(00:33:47) - What's The Age Difference With Your Parents(00:34:40) - How To Make Meaningful Memories With Your Parents As They Age(00:39:10) - How Do You Want Your Parents To Remember You?(00:42:09) - The Importance of Celebrating Lives(00:44:41) - Gay Men's Brotherhood

As our parents get older, many of us are faced with a new kind of grief- the quiet, ongoing loss that comes not from death, but from watching the people who once raised us begin to slow down and need us in ways they never did before. In this deeply personal episode, we open up about the emotional complexity of witnessing our parents age. From role reversals and unresolved wounds, to meaningful moments and surprising lessons, we reflect on how our relationships with our parents evolve, and how it stirs up questions of our own mortality. We explore: The quiet grief of losing parts of who they were The guilt, tenderness, and sometimes resentment of becoming the caretaker How aging parents trigger our own fears about time, mortality, and purpose Ways to heal, connect, and make meaningful memories before it's too late This is an episode for anyone navigating that in-between space—where love, loss, and legacy all live at once. Today's Hosts: Michael DiIorio Matt Landsiedel Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

Not all grief is about death. Sometimes, the hardest losses are the people (or pets) who are still alive—but no longer in our lives. In this episode, we're talking about the heartbreak of losing relationships: romantic breakups, friendship fallouts, and the deep sadness that comes with saying goodbye to a beloved pet. We explore how grief shows up emotionally, mentally, and even physically—and the unique challenges of letting go of someone who once meant everything to you. Together, we share personal experiences of: The stages of grief Grieving people who are still alive Letting go of “what could've been” Healing after a breakup Losing chosen family or long-time friends Learning how to let go without lingering This conversation shines a light on the many ways we experience loss and how to move through the grief with compassion, courage, and clarity. Related Episodes: Grieving Your Past When It's Time to Say Goodbye Grappling with Grief: Addison Brasil Today's Hosts: Michael DiIorio Matt Landsiedel Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

Grief isn't just about death—it's also about the quiet losses we carry as we grow and evolve. In this episode, we're kicking off a 4-part series on grief by exploring what it means to grieve your past. Whether it's a version of yourself that felt more confident, more desirable, or more socially “relevant,” we often feel a deep emotional pull toward who we used to be. From aging and identity shifts to the grief of letting go of our dreams, we're diving into the invisible grief that comes with change. We discuss: What grieving your past looks like How grief can show up as you grow and evolve Letting go of your youth, body, or social capital as a gay man The bittersweet nostalgia of past chapters—even ones you chose to leave behind How to know when it's time to move on, and how to do it with self-compassion This conversation is about honoring who you were while embracing who you're becoming. Related Episode: Grappling with Grief: Addison Brasil Today's Hosts: Michael DiIorio Matt Landsiedel Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

Most of us want to be seen, heard, and understood, but the fear of judgment can stop us from doing so. Whether it's being more social, speaking your feelings, or sharing creative work, putting yourself out there can feel risky, especially when we've been conditioned to play it safe due to past hurt or rejection. In this episode, we're sharing:

We all know self-love is important, but what happens when it goes too far in the wrong direction? In this episode, Michael DiIorio is joined by therapist Michael Pezzullo for an honest conversation about the shadow side of self-love. Together, they explore: The difference between self-comforting and self-coddling How emotional sensitivity can become emotional fragility Why self-bulldozing is just as harmful as avoidance The four zones of the Self-Love Spectrum How trauma impacts the way we “love” ourselves How to tell if you're truly healing…or just hiding. You'll learn about the Self-Love Spectrum, the signs of self-coddling and self-bulldozing, and how to practice a more empowering, growth-oriented version of self-love- without abandoning your need for care and compassion. Join us for an episode that will help you get honest about how you love yourself, and what real self-love actually looks like. Today's Guest: Michael Pezzullo Website Instagram Today's Host: Michael DiIorio Website Instagram Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

Some of us didn't choose to become lone wolves—we were shaped into them. Many gay men have learned to rely only on themselves, and while that self-sufficiency can feel empowering, it often comes at the cost of connection and intimacy. In this personal and vulnerable episode, Michael and Matt open up about their own lone wolf energy—where it comes from, how it's served them, and the moments when it became more isolating than empowering. Together, we're unpacking: The origin stories of our lone wolf instincts The protective thoughts that sound strong but hide deeper wounds What makes us want to cut people off—and what's really underneath that urge How this energy shows up in dating and relationships And how to honour your need for space without shutting people out Whether you identify as a lone wolf or love someone who does, this episode will help you navigate the delicate balance between fierce independence and meaningful connection. Today's Hosts: Michael DiIorio Matt Landsiedel Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

In this episode, Matt speaks with queer relationship coach Lonay Halloum about why we attract unavailable men. This episode will provide you with a deeper understanding of your relationship patterns and why you might be attracting unavailable men. This episode was inspired by a deep desire to help you heal the subconscious programs that lead to self-abandonment so you can end this exhausting cycle and finally attract available men. The concepts and questions we explore in this episode are: Matt and Lonay both share their stories about attracting unavailable men Why do we attract unavailable men? How do attachment styles play a role? What is the subconscious mind, and how does it contribute to this? How can we work with the subconscious mind to heal? How does low self-worth play a role in this? How can we break this cycle and start to attract available men? Related Topics: Matt's blog “Why do I keep on attracting avoidant men”? Meeting your emotions: guided meditation Research study about gay men having avoidant attachment styles Today's Guest: Lonay Halloum Website Instagram Today's Host: Matt Landsiedel Facebook Instagram TikTok Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

Why do so many gay men struggle with deep fears of rejection—whether in dating, friendships, or even at work? In this episode, we're unpacking rejection sensitivity: where it comes from, how it shows up in everyday life, and why it can feel so intense for us. Some of the topics we cover: The early roots of rejection sensitivity (hint: it starts young) How social norms, internalized homophobia, and shame wire us for hypervigilance The impact of dating app culture and body-focused rejection Signs you might be stuck in a rejection sensitivity loop Practical ways to heal and build resilience If you've ever felt crushed by criticism, avoided risks to protect yourself, or wrestled with feelings of “never enough,” this one's for you. Related Episodes: Rejection Fear of Rejection Today's Hosts: Michael DiIorio Matt Landsiedel Reno Johnston Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

How would you, your life, and your experience be if you were free from uncertainty, instability, and insecurity? While it can't be promised you won't have to experience these again, in this special solo episode, Reno shares personal experiences, perspectives, anecdotes, and practices to help you relate to them in ways that do create more freedom, creativity, resourcefulness, resilience, discernment, enthusiasm and lightness in the face of them. He also demonstrates some ways he has personally navigated uncertainty, instability, and insecurity throughout his life. Today's Host: Reno Johnston Instagram Facebook Schedule a Zoom Call Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

We may be adults, but a lot of us are still living in emotional childhood—blaming others for how we feel and how we act. When you give other people control over your emotions, you give away your power. In this episode, we're breaking down what it means to take responsibility for your emotions and why it is fundamental if you want true freedom, stronger relationships, and genuine self-confidence. We'll share personal stories of when we were stuck in emotional immaturity and how we learned to take responsibility for our emotions We're covering: The difference between emotional immaturity and emotional maturity Why blaming others keeps you miserable and powerless What it really means to own your emotions without beating yourself up How this skill improves your relationships, confidence, and inner peace How we learned the skill of emotional responsibility Where we still struggle and how we handle it This isn't about being perfect. It's about waking up, stepping up, and taking your power back. Today's Hosts: Michael DiIorio Matt Landsiedel Reno Johnston Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

In this episode, Matt speaks with author and love advocate, Scott Stabile. Together, they break down the psycho-spiritual aspects of the inner critic and how to best work with it from a place of love. If you are someone who is hard on yourself and has a tough time finding self-love and self-compassion, this episode will help you develop greater awareness of your inner critic, where self-judgment originates, and how you can start practicing more acceptance of yourself and others through presence, love, and compassion. The concepts and questions we explore in this episode are: How do you define love and self-love/compassion? Do you believe it's possible to transcend self-judgment? What does self-compassion look like? How does prioritizing self-love/compassion serve the world outside of yourself? Are there specific tools or techniques you can recommend to foster deeper self-compassion and self-love? How do you feel, if at all, that lack of self-compassion is contributing to the insanity and division we're seeing in our world? Today's Guest: Scott Stabile Instagram Facebook LinkedIn Today's Host: Matt Landsiedel Facebook Instagram TikTok Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

What happens when we avoid feeling our emotions? In this episode, we explore the importance of emotional awareness: tuning in instead of checking out. We share what happens when we suppress our feelings, and how to navigate the tough ones with compassion and care. We also explore: The link between emotional avoidance and things like addiction, depression, and burnout What blocks us from feeling our emotions Practical ways to process emotions that feel overwhelming or uncomfortable The power of self-compassion in emotional healing Why learning to feel your emotions leads to more empathy, connection, and confidence Whether you're someone who bottles it all up or someone who feels everything all at once, this conversation will give you insight and tools to better understand yourself and others. Today's Hosts: Michael DiIorio Matt Landsiedel Reno Johnston Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

It's Pride Month, and with everything going on in the world right now, it feels especially important to pause and reflect. In this special panel discussion episode, Reno Johnston is joined by three incredible guests—Mark Fleming, Keone Wales, and Jordan Layne—for a candid panel discussion on the meaning of Pride: where it began, how it's evolved, and what it means to each of us today. Together, they explore questions like: What does Pride mean to you? What was your first Pride experience? How has Pride changed since then? What would you like Pride to become? This conversation isn't a history lesson or a debate. It's an open, honest sharing of lived experience. Whether you're a seasoned activist or celebrating your first Pride, we invite you to reflect alongside us and consider what Pride means to you, not just this month, but all year round. Today's Guests: Mark Fleming Facebook Keone Wales Instagram Jordan Layne Instagram Today's Host: Reno Johnston Instagram Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

In 2025, LGBTQ rights are facing renewed challenges- from the rise of far-right populism to legislative rollbacks and the rise of hate sweeping across the globe. But how serious is the threat? And if the fight is back on… are we ready? This week, Michael is joined by author and longtime activist, Tim McCaskell, who's been on the front lines of LGBTQ+ resistance for over five decades. From the bathhouse raids to the fight for AIDS treatment and beyond, Tim brings deep historical context and lived experience to the conversation. Together, they explore what activism looks like in 2025, whether we've grown too comfortable, how activism has changed over the decades, and most importantly, what we need to do to show up and fight for our future. Today's Guest: Tim McCaskell Facebook LinkedIn Books Today's Host: Michael DiIorio Instagram TikTok YouTube Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

In today's episode, we're diving into a question many in our community have been quietly (or loudly) asking: Has Pride lost its meaning? In this wide-ranging conversation, we reflect on how Pride has evolved from its radical roots in activism to its present-day celebratory scene shaped by media, politics, and corporate sponsorships. We talk about what's been gained, what's been lost, and what still needs to be reclaimed. Some topics we explore: The impact of corporatization and rainbow capitalism How we'd reimagine Pride moving forward The meaning Pride has for us personally The importance of making Pride more inclusive for those still on the margins The role media plays in shaping what Pride looks and feels like How far our rights have come… and how fragile they still are Whether you love Pride, feel disconnected from it, or land somewhere in between, this episode is an invitation to reflect, reimagine, and reconnect with what Pride means to you in 2025. Today's Hosts: Michael DiIorio Matt Landsiedel Reno Johnston Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

In this episode, Matt speaks with a panel of demisexual gay men about their experiences dating as demisexuals. What we want you to get out of this episode is greater awareness of yourself if you are demisexual, and to know you are not alone. We want to share our own experiences in the hope that you can learn ways to thrive as a demisexual. If you are not demisexual, this episode will offer you a greater understanding of demisexual men you might come across in dating. We also share helpful, practical dating advice, so stick with us until the end of the episode. The concepts and questions we explore in this episode are: How did you discover you're demisexual? What has been challenging for you about dating as a demisexual? Where have you found success when it comes to dating as a demisexual? What advice do you have for other demisexual men who might be struggling in their dating lives? Related Episode: Demisexuality: What is it? Today's Guests: Andre-Lee Wills Website LinkedIn Ron Fisher Instagram Kasey Cromer Website Instagram Facebook Today's Host: Matt Landsiedel Facebook Instagram TikTok Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

For many gay men, friendship is complicated, performative, and sometimes downright painful. We crave genuine connection but end up navigating cliques, comparison, and quiet loneliness. In this episode, Michael and Pepper are doing an exposé on gay friendships to unpack what's really going on beneath the surface and why so many gay friendships fall short of the depth and safety we actually want. We're breaking it down in three parts: The Pretty Lies: Performative friendship, superficiality, and toxic group dynamics The Ugly Truth: How shame, fear, and survival strategies get in the way of true friendship True Friendship: What fun, nourishing gay friendship looks like and how we can build it This episode is your invitation to shift from followers to friendship, and from competition to collaboration—and start building real connection. Related Episodes: Making Friends (Introvert Edition) How to Make Friends with Gay Men Today's Guest: Pepper Rojas Instagram Today's Host: Michael DiIorio Instagram Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

How do the unmet needs of our childhood shape who we are today? And more importantly, how do we learn to meet those needs for ourselves as adults? In this deeply personal and eye-opening episode of Gay Men Going Deeper, we explore the re-parenting process—a therapeutic model that helps us heal old wounds, develop self-compassion, and rewrite the internal narratives we inherited from childhood. We'll be getting personal as we reflect on on three powerful questions: 1️⃣ What needs went unmet for you as a child? 2️⃣ How did you cope with these unmet needs? 3️⃣ How have you learned to meet these needs for yourself as an adult? From loneliness and perfectionism to people-pleasing and self-expression, we dive into the real-life stories and coping strategies that shaped our past and the lessons we've learned to become the men we are today. Tune in for an honest, vulnerable, and inspiring discussion on how we can become the loving, supportive parents we always needed—for ourselves. Related Link: Inner Child Work Today's Hosts: Michael DiIorio Matt Landsiedel Reno Johnston Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

In this episode, Matt speaks with therapist and author, Tom Bruett, about how to avoid losing yourself in your relationships. By balancing connection and autonomy in our relationships, we can foster more secure relationships that allow us to maintain our sense of self while allowing our partner to do the same. If you easily lose yourself in your relationships or you're having a hard time establishing intimacy, this episode will offer a refreshing perspective and tangible takeaways to help you improve your relationship with yourself and others. The concepts and questions we explore in this episode are: What is codependency and enmeshment? What are the consequences of being codependent or enmeshed in relationships? What causes codependency and enmeshment? How can we heal from codependency and enmeshment? What is interdependency and differentiation? How does interdependence and differentiation support secure relationships? How does attachment style play a role in this topic? What are some tangible ways to practice interdependence and differentiation? Book by Tom Bruett: The Go-To Relationship Guide for Gay Men: From Honeymoon to Lasting Commitment Today's Guest: Tom Bruett Instagram Today's Host: Matt Landsiedel Facebook Instagram TikTok Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

From Madonna to Mariah, Beyoncé to Barbra— throughout the generations, gay men have been obsessed with divas. But why? In this episode of Gay Men Going Deeper, we're diving into the deep connection between gay men and our beloved divas, exploring: Who are the divas and what do they have in common? Why divas resonate so deeply with gay men How these women inspire us The diva anthems that have become the soundtrack of self-confidence What it means to channel your inner diva in everyday life. Who are today's divas? This isn't just about pop culture—it's a conversation about power, identity, and how divas have given generations of gay men comfort and strength. Today's Hosts: Michael DiIorio Matt Landsiedel Reno Johnston Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

The women in our lives have influenced us in ways we don't always recognize, but when we take a step back, their impact is undeniable. In this heartfelt episode, we're celebrating the uniquely beautiful relationships gay men have with women—from mothers and grandmothers to besties, sisters, and beyond. We're showing love to all the women who have supported us, shaped us, and often modeled the traits that helped us become who we are today. Some of the topics we'll explore: How our childhoods were shaped by the women around us The unique love and support between gay men and women What makes female friendships different from male friendships The role of empathy and emotional intelligence in these relationships How friendships evolve over the years Join us for a deep conversation about the power of women and how these relationships continue to shape us—today and always. Today's Hosts: Michael DiIorio Matt Landsiedel Reno Johnston Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

Do you find yourself putting other people's needs ahead of your own? Struggle to set boundaries? Feel responsible for keeping the peace even when it costs you your authenticity? In this episode, gay therapist Michael Pezzullo joins Michael to go deeper into the roots of people pleasing—especially why so many gay men fall into this pattern. We'll explore how people pleasing shows up in everyday life, why it's so hard to stop, and how the fear of conflict and rejection keeps us from showing up fully in our relationships. We'll also discuss: How to recognize when you're people pleasing (and why it's not the same as being kind) The impact people pleasing has on your self-confidence and relationships Why gay men are especially prone to it How to handle the fear of disappointing others What you can do to finally break the cycle If you're ready to stop performing for approval and start living with more authenticity, this episode is for you. Today's Guest: Michael Pezzullo Website Instagram Today's Host: Michael DiIorio Website Instagram Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

Many gay men struggle with saying no, setting boundaries, or engaging in difficult conversations due to deep-seated people-pleasing tendencies and fear of conflict. But staying silent often leads to resentment, burnout, or feeling disconnected from your true self. As recovering people-pleasers themselves, Matt and Michael have plenty to share about their own journeys toward becoming more assertive in their boundaries. In this episode, we dive into: The difference between people-pleasing, healthy compromise, and values-based choices Practical strategies to speak up with confidence and authenticity How to set boundaries and say no without guilt or fear If you've ever found yourself saying “yes” when you really meant “no” or avoiding confrontation at the cost of your own needs, this conversation is for you! Today's Hosts: Michael DiIorio Matt Landsiedel Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

In this episode, Matt speaks with Psychotherapist, Merle Yost, about how shame may influence sexual desire and arousal by eroticizing shame as a way of coping with it. Merle shares his story about being sexually molested by his father and the impact this had on his sexual development. Join us for this interesting topic that is often not talked about but deeply impacts many of us. The concepts and questions we explore in this episode are: What does it mean to eroticize shame? How do shame and desire become intertwined? What is dissociation, and how can someone overcome it? Why is there so much sexual compulsivity in the gay community? What are some common ways people turn shame into pleasure in BDSM, kink, or other erotic practices? How can someone safely explore these dynamics without reinforcing negative self-perceptions? Can eroticizing shame be a healing experience? If so, how? How can someone tell if they are using this exploration in a healthy or unhealthy way? Today's Guest: Merle Yost Facebook Instagram Today's Host: Matt Landsiedel Facebook Instagram TikTok Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

Communication is at the heart of every relationship—whether it's with friends, partners, colleagues, or even yourself. But what does it actually mean to be a strong communicator? In this episode, we're diving into the key skills that make conversations more effective, engaging, and authentic. Join us as we discuss: What makes a strong communicator? The role of emotional intelligence in communication Common barriers that create conflict and misunderstandings Practical tips to improve your listening and speaking skills Whether you want to deepen your connections, set clearer boundaries, or simply get your point across without second-guessing yourself, this episode will give you insights to help you communicate with more clarity and impact. Related Link: Authentic Relating and Empowerment for Gay Men Today's Hosts: Michael DiIorio Matt Landsiedel Reno Johnston Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

They didn't teach us about gay sex in school… so we had to teach ourselves. From porn to awkward trial-and-error hookups, most of us pieced together our own “education”—for better or worse. In this episode, Michael is joined by porn star turned sex educator, Patrick Marano, to talk about the sex ed we should have had, how we've had to create it for ourselves, and why stigma and censorship still keep gay men in the dark. Some of the topics covered in this episode:

Is your dating profile truly showing the best version of you? In this episode of Gay Men Going Deeper, we're diving into the do's and don'ts of crafting a profile that is aligned with what you're truly looking for. On the apps, your profile is the first impression that counts so whether you're looking for love, fun, or meaningful connections, it matters. Some topics we'll discuss: What it means to show your authentic self without being cringy Choosing the best photos Crafting a bio that stands out. Common profile pitfalls How to be clear without being overly rigid Balancing confidence with humility How we communicate on apps Tune in for tips, insights, and takeaways to help you create a profile that attracts the right matches and reflects the real you. Join Michael's FREE one-time workshop where we'll give your dating profile a glow up: The Dating App Glow Up Today's Hosts: Michael DiIorio Matt Landsiedel Reno Johnston Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.