The Potential State Podcast - Enriching Relationships

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Welcome to the Potential State Podcast with Dr. Assael and Galit Romanelli. Here we will explore different ways to enrich your relationship with yourself and others through psychology, psychotherapy, improvisation, spontaneity, art, communication skills, NLP, and more. In every talk, we share experiences, thoughts, realizations, and learnings from our marriage as well as from Assael's work as a therapist, trainer, and performer. Come join us to enrich your relationships today.

Dr. Assael and Galit Romanelli

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    • Feb 19, 2024 LATEST EPISODE
    • every other week NEW EPISODES
    • 15m AVG DURATION
    • 144 EPISODES


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    Latest episodes from The Potential State Podcast - Enriching Relationships

    Relational Aid - Practical Skill for Couples in Hard Times - with Dr. Shari Geller

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 19, 2024 75:12


    Living in a hard times takes a toll on our relationships. We have changed and so has our partner. One of our biggest resources is our connections. Strengthening our relationships is vital for personal and collective resilience and well-being. How do we stay open and present to our partner, when our bodies and minds are closed in order to protect ourselves? OWNURSH!T together with Get Help Israel are happy to host the Relational Aid series. Real talks that offer couples practical tools to help them push past surviving into thriving through trying times. Join us as we talk to Dr. Shari Geller, clinical psychologist, Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC) teacher, and author of A Practical Guide For Cultivating Therapeutic Presence. We will explore how can couples cultivate Presence and Self-Compassion in hard times? For more on Dr. Assael and Galit Romanelli: https://www.potentialstate.com https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationships https://open.spotify.com/show/2Z6xnOpBznX7Y9Tf5VMx2z https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXwdZhwQFgUcRQgZoI_L2Uw Dr. Shari Geller is an author, clinical psychologist, and certified Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC) teacher. Shari co-authored the books, Therapeutic Presence: A Mindful Approach to Effective Therapeutic Relationships and  A Practical Guide For Cultivating Therapeutic Presence. She offers training modules in therapeutic presence internationally as part of her vision of having presence be a foundational training across psychotherapy approaches. https://www.sharigeller.ca/ https://www.sharigeller.ca/publications/ https://www.sharigeller.ca/shari-geller-events/

    Relational Aid - Practical Skill for Couples in Hard Times - with Alan Marriott

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 31, 2024 66:20


    We're deep in wartime. We're surrounded by war, trauma, power, dichotomies of good and bad and power. All this impacts our relationships and hurts our ability to be vulnerable. Join us as we talk with Alan Marriott, professional improvisor, voice actor, teacher and author of Genius Now! He is one of my all-time favorite improv teachers and he is BRILLIANT. His book is phenomenal and I reached out to him so we can play together and learn from his genius how we can use improv and specifically status play (which is the improv concept of power dynamics) to help couples soften hierarchy and co-create synergistic moments and intimacy For more on Dr. Assael and Galit Romanelli: https://www.potentialstate.com https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationships https://open.spotify.com/show/2Z6xnOpBznX7Y9Tf5VMx2z https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXwdZhwQFgUcRQgZoI_L2Uw Alan Marriott has a career spanning improvisation, music, acting for stage, film and television, coaching, voiceover acting, creativity training, and global language and dialect exploration. Alan is a popular motivational speaker and creativity consultant for brands and corporates. He regularly performs in London and throughout Europe with the Grand Theft Impro Team and Slattery Night Fever (with Tony Slattery).His debut book on creative thinking and improvisation sums his message up well...‘Genius Now!' www.alan-marriott.com

    Relational Aid - Practical Skill for Couples in Wartime - with Dr. Daniel Wiener

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 25, 2024 69:10


    Living in a war zone for over three months has taken a toll on our relationships.We have changed and so has our partner. One of the first things to go is our playfulness, joy and spontaneity. Without them, we slide into survival mode and our relationships suffer. OWNURSH!T together with Get Help Israel are happy to host the Relational Aid series. Real, honest talks that offer couples practical tools to help them push past surviving into thriving through these trying times. In this talk, we hosted Dr. Daniel Wiener, MFT, Drama Therapist and founder of Rehearsals For Growth (RFG). We explored how can couples playfully connect to alleviate stress? For more on Dr. Assael and Galit Romanelli: https://www.potentialstate.com https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationships https://open.spotify.com/show/2Z6xnOpBznX7Y9Tf5VMx2z https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXwdZhwQFgUcRQgZoI_L2Uw Get Help Israel is the primary resource in English for the public in Israel and for professionals in the mental health field: https://gethelpisrael.com/ Daniel J. Wiener, Ph.D, MFT, Drama therapist, and Group Psychotherapist. He is the founder of Rehearsals for Growth (RfG) and author of two books (Rehearsals for Growth: Theater Improvisation for Psychotherapists and The Rehearsals for Growth Practitioner Manual). www.rehearsalsforgrowth.com

    Relational Aid - Practical Tools For Couples in Hard Times - with Mary Jo Barrett

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 15, 2024 82:05


    OWNURSH!T together with Get Help Israel are happy to host the Relational Aid series. Real, honest talks that offer couples practical tools to help them push past surviving into thriving through these trying times. Join us as we talk to Mary Jo Barrett, MSW, Collaborative Change Consultant and author of Treating Complex Trauma: A Relational Blueprint for Collaboration and Change. We will explore how partners can get out of our survival mindstate and re-connect? For more on Dr. Assael and Galit Romanelli: https://www.potentialstate.com https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationships https://open.spotify.com/show/2Z6xnOpBznX7Y9Tf5VMx2z https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXwdZhwQFgUcRQgZoI_L2Uw Get Help Israel is the primary resource in English for the public in Israel and for professionals in the mental health field: https://gethelpisrael.com/ Mary Jo Barrett is the Executive Director and co-founder of The Center for Contextual Change, Ltd. She is currently on the faculties of University of Chicago, School of Social Service Administration, The Chicago Center For Family Health, and the Family Institute of Northwestern University. Ms. Barrett has coauthored two books with Dr. Terry Trepper. Incest: A Multiple Systems Perspective and The Systemic Treatment of Incest: A Therapeutic Handbook. She also authored with Linda Stone Fish the seminal book Treating Complex Trauma. She co-created the Collaborative Stage Model (CSM), a highly successful contextual model of therapy used to transform the lives of those impacted by abuse and/or traumatic events. Ms. Barrett provides consultations, workshops, courses and other training opportunities nationally and internationally. www.centerforcontextualchange.org maryjo.ccc@gmail.com

    Relational Aid - Practical Tools For Couples - with Dr. Betty Martin

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 7, 2024 63:53


    *** We highly recommend you download and review The Wheel of Consent diagram as you listen to this episode. You can download it here for free: https://www.schoolofconsent.org/downloads OWNURSH!T together with Get Help Israel are happy to launch the Relational Aid series, a number of real and raw talks that seek to offer couples practical tools that will help them push past surviving into thriving through these trying times. Join us as we talk to Dr. Betty Martin, Chiropractor, intimacy coach and best selling author of The Wheel of Consent. We will explore how partners can update and renegotiate intimate boundaries in times of trauma. For more on Dr. Assael and Galit Romanelli: https://www.potentialstate.com https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationships https://open.spotify.com/show/2Z6xnOpBznX7Y9Tf5VMx2z https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXwdZhwQFgUcRQgZoI_L2Uw Dr. Betty Martin started as a Chiropractor and upon retiring from that practice,  as a certified Surrogate Partner, Sacred Intimate, and Somatic Sex Educator.  Her explorations in somatic-based therapy and practices informed her creation of the framework, The Wheel of Consent®. As part of her work with the School of Consent, Betty travels around the world teaching practitioners how to create empowered agreements in their client sessions. https://bettymartin.org/ https://wheelofconsentbook.com/ To download the Wheel of Consent which Betty talk describes go here: https://www.schoolofconsent.org/downloads

    Relational Aid - Practical Tools For Couples - with Pastor Kevin A. Thompson

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 29, 2023 53:09


    OWNURSH!T together with Get Help Israel are happy to launch the Relational Aid series, a number of real and raw talks that seek to offer couples practical tools that will help them push past surviving into thriving through these trying times. Join us as we talk to Kevin A. Thompson who is a best selling author, pastor and counselor. We will explore how couples can become better partners, lovers and friends in times of crisis. For more on Dr. Assael and Galit Romanelli: https://www.potentialstate.com https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationships https://open.spotify.com/show/2Z6xnOpBznX7Y9Tf5VMx2z https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXwdZhwQFgUcRQgZoI_L2Uw KEVIN A. THOMPSON is married life pastor at Bayside Church in California. Every year he meets with nearly one hundred couples with a range of needs, from premarital counseling to navigating the most serious betrayals. A marriage and parenting conference speaker, he lives with his wife, Jenny, and their two children in Arkansas. He also the author of 4 books:  You Turn: For When the Nearest Exit is Behind You,  Friends, Partners, and Lovers, Happily, Fearless Families www.kevinathompson.com www.changetheodds.com https://amzn.to/3NsyzNX https://amzn.to/46Vlofr

    Relational Aid - Practical Tools For Couples - with Mark O'Connell, LCSW-R

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 26, 2023 52:48


    Join us for an honest talk with  Mark O'Connell, author and therapist about how couples can hold and maintain personal and relational multiplicity in times of crisis? How do we stay connected to our full self and remain close in times of war? Dr. Assael and Galit Romanelli run The Potential State and offer individual and relationship coaching with Galit, individual therapy for men with Assael, and couple therapy sessions with Assael or  both of us. Yes, we've been working together in the clinic for over 3 years and we've found it to be really powerful and effective. Additionally we offer online workshops and trainings for couples, teams and organizations Mark O'Connell, LCSW-R, MFA, is a psychotherapist and clinical supervisor in New York City. He's the author of the books The Performing Art of Therapy: Acting Insights and Techniques for Clinicians and Modern Brides & Modern Grooms. His articles on the performing art of living have been published in various clinical journals and popular sources, and he teaches workshops for therapists on using our most essential instrument: our selves. For more information visit www.markoconnelltherapist.com and www.theperformingartoftherapy.com

    The Integrated Systemic Hero's Journey Model

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 28, 2022 6:17 Transcription Available


    Change is not easy. Many individuals and couples are lacking a blueprint for long-term systemic change.In this talk, we integrate Joseph Campbell's Hero Journey monomyth with systemic change concepts and our Potential State ideas and present our integrated systemic hero's journey model.Practical tips will help you recognize which stage you are in the journey and how to advance toward your goals.Good luck!Click here to join our mailing list and get free resources on enriching relationships every month to your inbox.https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationshipshttp://podcast.potentialstate.com/https://www.youtube.com/c/ThePotentialStatehttps://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialStatehttps://twitter.com/assaelSupport the show (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=Q5AG6K7L8GYKA&source=url)

    Why are so many men numb? (Hint: It's covert male depression)

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 12, 2021 62:57 Transcription Available


    Hey Man (or woman),Are you alive or are you somewhat turned off, numb, or somewhat apathetic?If so, you're not alone. You might be suffering from the under-diagnosed phenomenon of the covert male depression, as first described by Terrance Real.In this talk, taken from a webinar for therapists, I share my story of covert depression and detail how this covert depression begins through psychological patriarchy, how it evolves and manifests through a limited relational and emotional repertoire, and its long-term (negative) effects on their intimate relationships. Practical tips are given on how to engage and soften this depression.Click here to join our mailing list and get free resources on enriching relationships every month to your inbox.https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationshipshttp://podcast.potentialstate.com/https://www.youtube.com/c/ThePotentialStatehttps://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialStatehttps://twitter.com/assaelSupport the show (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=Q5AG6K7L8GYKA&source=url)

    Embrace Your Inner Owl - A conversation about art, multi-potentialities and living your full self

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 29, 2021 57:01 Transcription Available


    Are you living your full self?Are you manifesting all your different passions and talents?Some of us have multiple passions, and don't want to commit to only one profession.That is called being a Multipotentialite (coined by Emilie Wapnick), or slashers.How can you live a multipotentialite life?This is an honest talk with friend Tal Shibi who is a slasher: dance/choreographer/photographer/director/actor/shiatsu practitioner. In this talk we explore how multipotentialites are born, bred, and raised through my personal story of how I got to teach at a dance school without learning dance, and to be an artistic director of a professional playback theater company without going to acting school. We explore the relationship and the (shallow) division between the worlds of art, therapy, and education.Along the way, we laugh and challenge each other to grow. We also talk about what is art and how we can reclaim the title of "an artist" in our life.Click here to join our mailing list and get free resources on enriching relationships every month to your inbox.https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationshipshttp://podcast.potentialstate.com/https://www.youtube.com/c/ThePotentialStatehttps://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialStatehttps://twitter.com/assaelSupport the show (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=Q5AG6K7L8GYKA&source=url)

    Vulnerability is The Crucial ABILITY in Intimate Relationships (especially for men)

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 22, 2021 13:44 Transcription Available


    Many of us learn at a young age (especially boys) that vulnerability=weakness.We therefore try to hide it and don't show it to our partners.This results in shallow, self-presentational relationships with little vitality, excitement, play or curiosity. Moreover, when you're not vulnerable, then you're less interesting to your partner and over time you become more numb to your own inner workings.The solution? practice the ability of vulnerability. The more you'll show, the more free you'll feel.But how can I be more vulnerable (especially if I'm not used to it)?In this talk, we unpack the issue of vulnerability in intimate relationships, using examples from our marriage and the clinic.Practical tips will help you dare to be more vulnerable in a safe and gradual way.Click here to join our mailing list and get free resources on enriching relationships every month to your inbox.Check out more of our content:Blog on Psychology TodayYouTube channelFacebook pagePodcast show linkTwitterSupport the show (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=Q5AG6K7L8GYKA&source=url)

    The Art of Fighting and Making Up

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 15, 2021 19:23 Transcription Available


    Fighting is inevitable in every intimate relationship.Most of us don't like, don't know how, or don't even know when we are fighting.Yet arguments and conflicts are a crucial element in building an intimate, differentiated relationship.Too bad there isn't a blueprint for a "positive" fight and make up...Well, actually, there is!In this talk, we share a recommended three-stage model for the positive fight and make up, which will help turn your disputes into relational diamonds.Inspired by the wonderful book After the Fight by Dan Wile, we use our last vicious fight and make up to show how this process is manifested.Practical tips will help you leverage your next fight to deeper intimacy. Click here to join our mailing list and get free resources on enriching relationships every month to your inbox.Check out more of our content:Blog on Psychology TodayYouTube channelFacebook pagePodcast show linkTwitterSupport the show (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=Q5AG6K7L8GYKA&source=url)

    Why am I doing everything alone in this relationship?

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 25, 2021 13:03 Transcription Available


    Many of us find ourselves in charge or a certain dimension of our relationship alone, be it cleaning, financial planning, parenting, and more.This sole responsibility is often a source of tension and frustration in the dyad.This universal pattern is called the seesaw principle (as coined my Michelle Weiner Davis), where the more one person does, the less the other partner does.In this talk we unpack the seesaw principle in intimate relationships through examples from our marriage and the clinic and offer practical advice to help you both find a more collaborative, interdependent partnership.Click here to join our mailing list and get free resources on enriching relationships every month to your inbox.Check out more of our content:Blog on Psychology TodayYouTube channelFacebook pagePodcast show linkTwitterSupport the show (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=Q5AG6K7L8GYKA&source=url)

    Relational Bitterness - The Female Pandemic (and that men hide well)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 18, 2021 11:23 Transcription Available


    Bitterness.Usually it is a passing feeling, but sometimes we encounter a partner who is constantly bitter, and their partner who is trying to cheer them up (or avoid them).It is so common that it has become almost a stereotype.Women express bitterness through criticism, pessimism, grogginess, and overall negativity. Men express this feeling through cynicism, apathy, aggression, or passive aggressive behavior.In this talk, we unpack bitterness and explain why it is so common in intimate relationships, especially in women, through examples from the clinic and our marriage.Practical tips will help you become less bitter and more playful.Click here to join our mailing list and get free resources on enriching relationships every month to your inbox.Check out more of our content:Blog on Psychology TodayYouTube channelFacebook pagePodcast show linkTwitterSupport the show (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=Q5AG6K7L8GYKA&source=url)

    Gaslighting is real. Here's how to stop it.

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 11, 2021 13:53 Transcription Available


    Do you have a sense your partner is sticking it to you but they keep denying it?Do you or your partner deny certain bad behaviors to each other?We all sometimes semi-consciously act in small negative ways to our partners -  David Schnarch calls this phenomenon "Normal Marital Sadism".  After all, the opposite of love is apathy (not hatred). So we all do it.But when one partner continuously denies aggressive, belittling, or mean relational behavior, in a way that makes their partner doubt themselves and their perception -  that is called Gaslighting.Gaslighting is real and happens in all relationships in one form or another.In this talk, we unpack the phenomenon of Gaslighting and it's tax on relationships, through examples from the clinic and our marriage. Practical tips will help you stop (or at least minimize) Gaslighting in your relationship today.Click here to join our mailing list and get free resources on enriching relationships every month to your inbox.https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationshipshttp://podcast.potentialstate.com/https://www.youtube.com/c/ThePotentialStatehttps://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialStatehttps://twitter.com/assaelSupport the show (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=Q5AG6K7L8GYKA&source=url)

    Stop Being Efficient in Your Relationships!

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 27, 2021 15:55 Transcription Available


    Are you (or your partner) super driven to be efficient?Is it hard for you to lower your productivity and just be?If so, you're not alone. Efficiency is actually a wonderful trait but can also function as a defense mechanism. That is why we call it E-FISH-NET, a big (electronic) net that catches all of you and takes you hostage.What is the solution?To be more present, to do less things in more time, to be DIS(C)organized.But how?In this talk, we unpack the need to be efficient and its relational tolls through examples from our life and the clinic.Practical tips will help you soften the need to be E-FISH-NET, and enjoy the moment more.Click here to join our mailing list and get free resources on enriching relationships every month to your inbox.https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationshipshttp://podcast.potentialstate.com/https://www.youtube.com/c/ThePotentialStatehttps://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialStatehttps://twitter.com/assaelSupport the show (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=Q5AG6K7L8GYKA&source=url)

    How to stay hungry after a decade together?

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 20, 2021 45:03 Transcription Available


    The 'lost' years of a couple's life occur after about 7-10 years: kids, mortgage, school, aging parents, careers, bills, chores, marriage is stable, annoying in-laws, holidays, boredom, fatigue, routine...For most couples these years tend to feel 'comfortably numb' and are sometimes disrupted with a rude awakening in the form of an affair, medical or family drama. These naturally latent years sometimes lead couples to think that they lost their spark and occasionally choose to divorce due to unfamiliarity with the unavoidable dynamics of this stage in life.Yet these somewhat lethargic years need not be lost!In this talk with Dr. Micha Belzer, a couple and family therapist, we discuss the uncomfortable truths about this life cycle stage and what steps can be taken in order to keep the couple hungry, playful, foolish, growing and engaged.Examples are given from my work with couples in that cohort.Practical tips are shared to help prevent these years from becoming dormant.Click here to join our mailing list and get free resources on enriching relationships every month to your inbox.https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationshipshttp://podcast.potentialstate.com/https://www.youtube.com/c/ThePotentialStatehttps://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialStatehttps://twitter.com/assaelSupport the show (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=Q5AG6K7L8GYKA&source=url)

    The Art of Relational Crying

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 13, 2021 13:12 Transcription Available


    "I know all there is to know about the crying game..." Boy GeorgeCrying is a natural and organic way to express and release emotions.Yet crying in relationship is not always easy: Some of us cry very often (over-crying) and some of us find it hard to cry at all (blocked cryers).Both of these extremes have advantages and disadvantages, and both don't facilitate a healthy expression of feeling in relationships.In this talk, we unpack why and how partners avoid or over-emphasize crying in their intimate relationship through examples from our marriage and the clinic.Practical tips will help you learn the art of relational crying today.Click here to join our mailing list and get free resources on enriching relationships every month to your inbox.https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationshipshttp://podcast.potentialstate.com/https://www.youtube.com/c/ThePotentialStatehttps://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialStatehttps://twitter.com/assaelSupport the show (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=Q5AG6K7L8GYKA&source=url)

    Dare to Want... In Your Relationships

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 6, 2021 11:47 Transcription Available


    "If I can't see your selfishness, I can't believe your generosity." Betty MartinMany of us  have a problem expressing our desires and wants in our intimate relationships.Why?For men, this can stem from psychological patriarchy that deems wanting, vulnerability or need as something negative.For others, not wanting protects us from rejection or ridicule.But if we don't express our wants, then we become bitter, and lonely. Over time, our partner will begin to assume we don't want anything, and that we're always content- which makes us less interesting. The result? Our needs are not seen or met.The solution?Daring to voice our desires!In this talk we share the different reasons why partners avoid sharing, and the costs of such elusion, through examples from our life and the clinic.Practical tips will help you bravely articulate your desires  in your relationship.Click here to join our mailing list and get free resources on enriching relationships every month to your inbox.https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationshipshttp://podcast.potentialstate.com/https://www.youtube.com/c/ThePotentialStatehttps://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialStatehttps://twitter.com/assaelSupport the show (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=Q5AG6K7L8GYKA&source=url)

    How to deal with a drama queen?

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 7, 2021 6:04 Transcription Available


    Are you a drama queen (or king)?Are you in a relationship with a drama queen?(Truth is that men are the real drama queens.)If so, you probably know how draining and annoying it is interacting with such 'royalty'.But the systemic truth is: You are encouraging them.Yes, there is no drama queen/king without an audience.Underneath such drama, there is usually a cry for attention or a 'love tank' that is empty.Are you looking beyond the queenship drama to see what is the deeper bid?In this talk, we explore this dynamic through examples in our marriage and the clinic. Practical tips will help you soften such dynamic and help both of you feel more seen and valued.For registration and more details on our upcoming webinar exploring the relational power dynamic in relationships - click here!Click here to join our mailing list and get free resources on enriching relationships every week to your inbox.Click here for more information on our upcoming online couples workshop.https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationshipshttp://podcast.potentialstate.com/https://www.youtube.com/c/ThePotentialStatehttps://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialStatehttps://twitter.com/assaelSupport the show (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=Q5AG6K7L8GYKA&source=url)

    The Most Stable Dyad is a... Triad

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 28, 2021 9:20 Transcription Available


    Most of us think that two is the most stable number in relationships.But every dyad needs a third to stabilize it.The process of including a third in a dyad is called triangulation.Triangulation is a natural and unavoidable dynamic that occurs in every relationship.The problems begin with the triangulation is fixed and rigid. It creates a 'lose-lose' dynamic that prevents all three members from raising differentiation and deepening their relationships.In this talk, we discuss the phenomenon of triangulation in intimate relationships through examples of our own marriage and from the clinic.Practical tips will help you lower triangulation in your intimate relationships today. For registration and more details on our upcoming webinar exploring the relational power dynamic in relationships - click here!Click here to join our mailing list and get free resources on enriching relationships every week to your inbox.Click here for more information on our upcoming online couples workshop.https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationshipshttp://podcast.potentialstate.com/https://www.youtube.com/c/ThePotentialStatehttps://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialStatehttps://twitter.com/assaelSupport the show (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=Q5AG6K7L8GYKA&source=url)

    What is your emotional range? Are you surviving or living?

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 21, 2021 10:06 Transcription Available


    Imagine all the human emotion would be spread out from 1 being deep despair, all the way to 10 being extreme ecstasy. What would be your range?Which numbers (feelings) are you less familiar with? Many of us are 4-6'ers. We live "between the 40's", keeping it safe, functional but also somewhat numb.In this talk, Galit and I talk about the natural 4-6 phenomenon and its impact on relationships through examples from our own marriage and the clinic.Practical tips will help you expand your emotional range now.For registration and more details on our upcoming webinar exploring the relational power dynamic in relationships - click here!Click here to join our mailing list and get free resources on enriching relationships every week to your inbox.Click here for more information on our upcoming online couples workshop.https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationshipshttp://podcast.potentialstate.com/https://www.youtube.com/c/ThePotentialStatehttps://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialStatehttps://twitter.com/assaelSupport the show (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=Q5AG6K7L8GYKA&source=url)

    Why do we believe criticism more than praise?

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 14, 2021 11:37 Transcription Available


    Most of us believe criticism (or constructive feedback) more than praise.Why? Because some of us grew up in homes where criticism was a way to show care.Over time, this environment creates a core belief that "love = criticism".Such a tendency leads to relationships fraught with conflict, cynicism, and sarcasm.In this talk, Galit and Assael unpack this core belief and its effects through examples from their marriage and the clinic.Practical tips will help you soften this tendency and create a more positive, complimentary, generative relationship today.For registration and more details on our upcoming webinar exploring the relational power dynamic in relationships - click here!Click here to join our mailing list and get free resources on enriching relationships every week to your inbox.Click here for more information on our upcoming online couples workshop.https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationshipshttp://podcast.potentialstate.com/https://www.youtube.com/c/ThePotentialStatehttps://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialStatehttps://twitter.com/assaelSupport the show (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=Q5AG6K7L8GYKA&source=url)

    How to reduce guilt in your parenting?

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 31, 2021 8:20 Transcription Available


    And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoonLittle boy blue and the man in the moon"When you coming home, son?" "I don't know when"But we'll get together then, dadWe're gonna have a good time then...Mothers and fathers feel different kinds of guilt regarding their parenting. Kids grow up fast and we have so many things to do all the time. Times are even more challenging during COVID lock-down.Therefore, the guilt is almost inevitable, but there is hope.You can move from guilt to gratitude.But first, you must name it to tame it.In this talk, Assael shares his guilt and the best practices he's found to reduce them.Galit shares her guilt experience as a m.other who is with the kids 24/7 in lock-down.Together they help parents of all sorts, move from past to future, from regret and shame to learning and growth.For registration and more details on our upcoming webinar exploring the relational power dynamic in parenting and relationships - click here!Click here to join our mailing list and get free resources on enriching relationships every week to your inbox.Click here for more information on our upcoming online couples workshop.https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationshipshttp://podcast.potentialstate.com/https://www.youtube.com/c/ThePotentialStatehttps://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialStatehttps://twitter.com/assaelSupport the show (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=Q5AG6K7L8GYKA&source=url)

    Joy is a VERB, not a noun.

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 24, 2021 7:24 Transcription Available


    Do you secretly find it hard to feel and/or express joy in your personal life? Are you in a relationship with a joy killer?If you do, then you're not alone! In the past months, we have discovered that Assael has trouble expressing joy (can you say, a pessimist?), while for Galit joy is a natural and accessible resource (optimist, or as we call her a unicorn). This sent Assael to family therapy with his parents to understand the source of this difficulty - and he came back with some shocking discoveries. Since then we have been talking about it with our clients, only to discover that many people find it hard to recognize and express joy for a myriad of reasons. In this talk, we share what we discovered about joy from our marriage and the clinic. We share both the pessimist and optimist tips on how to recognize and express joy in your life.For registration and more details on our upcoming webinar exploring the relational power dynamic in relationships - click here!Click here to join our mailing list and get free resources on enriching relationships every week to your inbox!Click here for more information on our upcoming online couples workshop.https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationshipshttp://podcast.potentialstate.com/https://www.youtube.com/c/ThePotentialStatehttps://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialStatehttps://twitter.com/assaelSupport the show (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=Q5AG6K7L8GYKA&source=url)

    The Implicit Power Struggles in Our (and every) Intimate Relationship

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 17, 2021 10:39 Transcription Available


    Every couple has implicit power struggles in the different areas of their relationship (sex, money, parenting, looks, intelligence, and so on...).We call this the 95/70 rule.It has been our experience that this dynamic is inherently present and shapes the couples' mutual functioning.One of the ways we have been renegotiating our  95/70 contract in the past year, is by having Galit join Assael's podcast.Reflecting on our journey toward working together, we show how this power dynamic hurts relationships and how to soften this power dynamic in order to deepen intimacy, play, and partnership.For the expanded talk on the 95/70 click here.For registration and more details on the 95/70 power dynamic webinar - click here!Click here to join our mailing list and get free resources on enriching relationships every week to your inbox!Click here for more information on our upcoming online couples workshop.https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationshipshttp://podcast.potentialstate.com/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXwdZhwQFgUcRQgZoI_L2Uwhttps://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialStatehttps://twitter.com/assaelSupport the show (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=Q5AG6K7L8GYKA&source=url)

    Precision or Control?

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 27, 2020 7:22 Transcription Available


    Many of us insist that feedback be precise or else they won't consider it.Yet often this precision serves more as a block, a defense mechanism that prevents our growth.In this talk, I share how people use precision as a sophisticated defense mechanism to keep them safe and prevent pain. Through examples from the clinic, I show the losses of this mechanism and how to allow yourself to "lower your standards" in order to accept influence.Practical tips will help you let more things land and grow.Click here to join our mailing list and get free resources on enriching relationships every week to your inbox!Click here for more information on our upcoming online couples workshop.https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationshipshttp://podcast.potentialstate.com/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXwdZhwQFgUcRQgZoI_L2Uwhttps://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialStatehttps://twitter.com/assaelSupport the show (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=Q5AG6K7L8GYKA&source=url)

    Solving the problem is the problem.

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 20, 2020 9:33 Transcription Available


    Often times, we (especially men) prefer to solve our partner's problems instead of actually letting their feelings or pain into our awareness.This often leads to a "report talk" dynamic where intimacy is low and partners avoid leaning on each other.In this talk, Galit and I unpack why do we prefer to solve our partner's problems and how to stop that habit through examples from our marriage and the clinic.Practical tips will help you listen more and solve less in your relationships.Click here to join our mailing list and get free resources on enriching relationships every week to your inbox!Click here for more information on our upcoming online couples workshop.https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationshipshttp://podcast.potentialstate.com/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXwdZhwQFgUcRQgZoI_L2Uwhttps://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialStatehttps://twitter.com/assaelSupport the show (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=Q5AG6K7L8GYKA&source=url)

    Lose-Lose or Win-Win? You decide.

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 13, 2020 13:18 Transcription Available


    Most couples avoid certain unavoidable Topics or decisions. In couples therapy, we call it crucibles, T-junctions, gridlock, 70% unsolvable issues, and more.Yet by avoiding these 'hot' issues, we are stunting our own growth.In this talk, Galit and I offer a fresh view on these lose-lose dilemmas and offer practical advice on how to lean into them in order to grow.Examples are given from the clinic and from our own drama around a drawing that was scotch-taped to the wall in my mother-in-law's house...Click here to join our mailing list and get free resources on enriching relationships every week to your inbox!Click here for more information on our upcoming online couples workshop.https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationshipshttp://podcast.potentialstate.com/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXwdZhwQFgUcRQgZoI_L2Uwhttps://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialStatehttps://twitter.com/assaelSupport the show (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=Q5AG6K7L8GYKA&source=url)

    Stop over-apologizing!

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 6, 2020 11:31 Transcription Available


    Are you (or your partner) one of those people who constantly apologize for everything, even for things that no apology is needed (for example, sorry I didn't pick up the paper you dropped)?If so, this is not only a disempowered, defeated stance but also a subconscious passive-aggressive manipulative move. Yes, over apologizing has a "shadow" side.In this talk, Galit and I unpack the science and art of over-apologizing, through examples from the clinic and our lives.Practical examples will help you stop over-apologizing, as well as equip you with better ways to deal with an over-apologizing partner.Click here to join our mailing list and get free resources on enriching relationships every week to your inbox!Click here for more information on our upcoming online couples workshop.https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationshipshttp://podcast.potentialstate.com/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXwdZhwQFgUcRQgZoI_L2Uwhttps://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialStatehttps://twitter.com/assaelSupport the show (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=Q5AG6K7L8GYKA&source=url)

    "It's not that important to me" - The sentence that will set you free

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 29, 2020 9:15 Transcription Available


    We've all been in this scenario:Your partner asks or remarks to you on something that you don't want to do. Since we're scared of disappointing them and want to avoid a fight,  we "smokescreen" our truth and placate them. This often leads to heaviness, lack of play, mind reading, and tension.The solution? “IT'S THAT IMPORTANT TO ME.”In this talk, Galit and I unpack why using this sentence playfully with ownersh!t, can help you become more authentic and open with your partner.Examples are given from the clinic and our life.Practical tips will help you speak this simple truth effectively in your relationship.Click here to join our mailing list and get free resources on enriching relationships every week to your inbox!Click here for more information on our upcoming online couples workshop.https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationshipshttp://podcast.potentialstate.com/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXwdZhwQFgUcRQgZoI_L2Uwhttps://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialStatehttps://twitter.com/assaelSupport the show (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=Q5AG6K7L8GYKA&source=url)

    How to deal with "You're Too Much!" (Especially for Women)

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 22, 2020 10:31 Transcription Available


    How many of you have heard and internalized the feedback that you're "too much"?If so, how has that impacted your life?Every day we work with women (and sometimes men) who have internalized this limiting belief and its negative impact on their lives.In this talk, Galit and I breakdown the gains and losses of this core belief, through examples from Galit's life and the clinic. Practical tips will help you soften this core belief and be your fullest self!Click here to join our mailing list and get free resources on enriching relationships every week to your inbox!Click here for more information on our upcoming online couples workshop.https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationshipshttp://podcast.potentialstate.com/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXwdZhwQFgUcRQgZoI_L2Uwhttps://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialStatehttps://twitter.com/assaelSupport the show (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=Q5AG6K7L8GYKA&source=url)

    The Victim Competition - Where The Winner is the Biggest Loser

    Play Episode Play 57 sec Highlight Listen Later Nov 15, 2020 9:42 Transcription Available


    So often couples engage in an unconscious competition who is suffering more in the relationship.This dynamic results in more arguments, less vulnerability, and even a breakup.In this talk, Galit and  I describe this dynamic, the reasons behind it, and the damage it creates.Examples are given from our marriage and the clinic.Practical tips will help you soften this dynamic in your own relationship.Click here to join our mailing list and get free resources on enriching relationships every week to your inbox!Click here for more information on our upcoming online couples workshop.https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationshipshttp://podcast.potentialstate.com/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXwdZhwQFgUcRQgZoI_L2Uwhttps://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialStatehttps://twitter.com/assaelSupport the show (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=Q5AG6K7L8GYKA&source=url)

    Why is it hard for us to believe change in our partners? The Natural/Fake Eithor

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 8, 2020 8:55 Transcription Available


    Why is it that when our partner tries to change their behavior, we so often shoot it down, claiming its "fake"?Because often we have this dichotomous thinking (Eithor) that if our partner doesn't do it naturally then they're faking it.But every new behavior will feel somewhat fake because if it was natural for us, we would've done it already!What is the solution?To soften our Natural/Fake Eithor.In this talk, Galit and I explain how this Eithor is created and how it prevents couples from growing and evolving.Examples are given from the clinic and our marriage.Practical tips will help you become more open and positive about the behavioral change of your partner.Click here to join our mailing list and get free resources on enriching relationships every week to your inbox!Click here for more information on our upcoming online couples workshop.https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationshipshttp://podcast.potentialstate.com/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXwdZhwQFgUcRQgZoI_L2Uwhttps://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialStatehttps://twitter.com/assaelSupport the show (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=Q5AG6K7L8GYKA&source=url)

    How to stop constantly interpreting your partner negatively?

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 1, 2020 12:37 Transcription Available


    We all have tense periods where we tend to interpret anything and everything our partner says or does as negative, insulting, hurtful, or aggressive.The Gottman researchers call this dynamic N.S.O - negative sentiment override.This lethal dynamic has a snowball effect that is hard to stop, and can lead to deep resentment and breakup.In this talk, Galit and I explain the reasons and dynamic of NSO through examples from our marriage and the clinic. Practical (somewhat surprising) tips will help you minimize NSO in your relationship today. Click here to join our mailing list and get free resources on enriching relationships every week to your inbox!Click here for more information on our upcoming online couples workshop.https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationshipshttp://podcast.potentialstate.com/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXwdZhwQFgUcRQgZoI_L2Uwhttps://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialStatehttps://twitter.com/assaelSupport the show (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=Q5AG6K7L8GYKA&source=url)

    The Potential State's Top Ten Tips for Dating

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 25, 2020 15:34 Transcription Available


    Dating today is not easy.Singles are getting tired and confused as to how to date in the 21st century, COVID, apps-filled era.Yet we believe the dating scene should be approached from a completely different angle:instead of going on dates, choose to see them as PLAY DATES, where your goal is to be yourself and fun.In this talk, Galit and I offer our top ten (somewhat surprising) practical dating tips that will help you be more yourself and more vulnerable in your (play) dates.Click here to join our mailing list and get free resources on enriching your relationship every week!Click here for more information on our upcoming online couples workshop.https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationshipshttp://podcast.potentialstate.com/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXwdZhwQFgUcRQgZoI_L2Uwhttps://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialStatehttps://twitter.com/assaelSupport the show (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=Q5AG6K7L8GYKA&source=url)

    Sexual OWNURSH!T 2 - Mediocre (Maintenance) Sex Is Wonderful!

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 11, 2020 7:36 Transcription Available


    The media puts a lot of pressure on us to have wonderful, multi-orgasm, wall-socket sex.But in reality, in a committed long-term relationship, mediocre (maintenance) sex is inevitable. This causes many couples (especially men) to avoid sex and even doubt their relationship.In this talk, Galit and I unpack the truth about maintenance sex and share why it is crucial for happy relationships.Practical tips will help you enjoy mediocre sex (while still aiming for great sex).Click here to join our mailing list and get free resources every week!Click here for more information on our upcoming online couples workshop.https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationshipshttp://podcast.potentialstate.com/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXwdZhwQFgUcRQgZoI_L2Uwhttps://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialStatehttps://twitter.com/assaelSupport the show (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=Q5AG6K7L8GYKA&source=url)

    OWNURSH!T 43 - The Intimacy Queen/King and The Emotionally Handicapped dynamic

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 4, 2020 8:38 Transcription Available


    Do you feel like you are more emotionally intelligent and somewhat superior in your intimacy skills than your partner?Do you feel like your partner is nagging you and never happy with the level of communication and feelings you express?If you answered yes, then you might be in the Intimacy Queen/King and Emotionally Handicapped dynamic. This dynamic hides the fact that BOTH of you are essentially avoiding mature intimacy through your specific roles. In this talk, I explain how this dynamic evolves and how to change it through examples from the clinic.Practical tips will help you soften this dynamic in your own relationship today.Click here to join our mailing list and get free resources every week!Click here for more information on our upcoming online couples workshop.https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationshipshttp://podcast.potentialstate.com/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXwdZhwQFgUcRQgZoI_L2Uwhttps://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialStatehttps://twitter.com/assaelSupport the show (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=Q5AG6K7L8GYKA&source=url)

    OWNURSH!T 42 - Yelling and Being Passionate - What's the difference?

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 27, 2020 12:00 Transcription Available


    For many of us yelling is a sensitive issue.We inherit from our families of origin certain beliefs and attitudes about yelling.Yet sometimes, yelling is a sublimatory expression of feelings, frustrations, or even excitement.What is the difference then? How can we distinguish and work with yelling?In this talk, Galit and I unpack this topic through examples from our marriage and the clinic.Practical tips will help you better work with yelling in your relationships. www.potentialstate.comhttps://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationshipshttp://podcast.potentialstate.com/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXwdZhwQFgUcRQgZoI_L2Uwhttps://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialStatehttps://twitter.com/assaelSupport the show (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=Q5AG6K7L8GYKA&source=url)

    OWNURSH!T 41 - What Kind of Sorry is This?

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 30, 2020 6:48 Transcription Available


    We say sorry all the time (or not enough) in our intimate relationships.But often we confuse between the different types of 'sorry' we use. This often leads to more conflict and stress than forgiveness and closeness.In this talk, Galit and I share the four types of Sorry we've distilled in our life together, using examples from our life.Practical tips will help you distinguish which sorry to use in different scenarios in your relationship.www.potentialstate.comhttps://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationshipshttp://podcast.potentialstate.com/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXwdZhwQFgUcRQgZoI_L2Uwhttps://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialStatehttps://twitter.com/assaelSupport the show (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=Q5AG6K7L8GYKA&source=url)

    OWNURSH!T 40 - Don't Miss the Point of Disappointment.

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 23, 2020 10:01 Transcription Available


    People are different and so misunderstandings and ruptures are unavoidable. Therefore, disappointments are natural and unavoidable. Many of us avoid expressing and hearing of our partner's disappointment with us. This usually stems from a fear that disappointment leads to abandonment. Yet disappointment is actually a wonderful tool for individual and relational growth! In this talk, Galit and I unpack disappointment and why it's a crucial feeling in relationships, through examples from our marriage and the clinic. Practical tips will help you reclaim disappointment in your relationships for deeper intimacy and growth.www.potentialstate.comhttps://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationshipshttp://podcast.potentialstate.com/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXwdZhwQFgUcRQgZoI_L2Uwhttps://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialStatehttps://twitter.com/assaelSupport the show (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=Q5AG6K7L8GYKA&source=url)

    Sensory Preferences - Your Idiosyncratic Map of the World

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 16, 2020 13:01 Transcription Available


    We all react to our MAP of the world and not the objective world.In NLP we say: The map is not the territory. Our map of the world is shaped by our sensory preference (visual, auditory, kinesthetic, audio-digital). Conflicts and tensions in relationships stem from differences in sensory preferences. Learning to recognize your own and other's maps of the world can help you improve your relationships. In this talk, Galit and I explain the different sensory preferences and how they affect intimate relationships, through examples from our life and the clinic. Practical examples will help you become more aware and flexible in your communication. www.potentialstate.comhttps://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationshipshttp://podcast.potentialstate.com/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXwdZhwQFgUcRQgZoI_L2Uwhttps://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialStatehttps://twitter.com/assaelSupport the show (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=Q5AG6K7L8GYKA&source=url)

    Ambition - The Forbidden Feeling (especially for women)

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 2, 2020 6:20 Transcription Available


    A lot of us were taught that "wanting is dangerous" therefore we develop a core belief that "ambition is dangerous" and we either avoid being ambitious or alternatively feel guilty for being ambitious.But Ambition is a healthy feeling that can help you live the life you've always wanted.In this talk, I break down ambition, and through examples from the clinic and my life, show how it can be reclaimed.Practical tips will help you reclaim ambition in your life today.www.potentialstate.comhttps://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationshipshttp://podcast.potentialstate.com/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXwdZhwQFgUcRQgZoI_L2Uwhttps://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialStatehttps://twitter.com/assaelSupport the show (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=Q5AG6K7L8GYKA&source=url)

    Curiosity - The Cure for Judgement and Boredom in Your Relationship and Life

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 19, 2020 8:56 Transcription Available


    We all get bored and judgmental in our life and our relationship.This is a natural effect of growing older.Yet it is possible to prevent these feelings.How?Curiosity.In this talk, I explain how curiosity can prevent and minimize boredom and judgment, through examples from the clinic and my life.Practical tips will help you increase your curiosity today!www.potentialstate.comhttps://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationshipshttp://podcast.potentialstate.com/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXwdZhwQFgUcRQgZoI_L2Uwhttps://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialStatehttps://twitter.com/assaelSupport the show (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=Q5AG6K7L8GYKA&source=url)

    OWNURSH!T 39 - Keeping Score - No One Ever Wins.

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 13, 2020 8:34 Transcription Available


    It's natural to keep score in our intimate relationship. Yet if it's too rigid it can limit your personal and relational growth. In this talk, I explain why this happens and how to change it through examples from the clinic and my personal life. Practical tips will help you soften the scorekeeping in your life, so both partners can start winning. www.potentialstate.comhttps://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationshipshttp://podcast.potentialstate.com/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXwdZhwQFgUcRQgZoI_L2Uwhttps://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialStatehttps://twitter.com/assaelSupport the show (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=Q5AG6K7L8GYKA&source=url)

    "Eithor" Series 1 - Responsible or Playful? Yes!

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 29, 2020 6:11 Transcription Available


    In each Eithor episode, we tackle a different core dichotomy that limits people's growth. Most of us have a core belief that we can either be playful or responsible. We inherit this core belief from our families of origin and enact it in our lives. This either/or dichotomy (What we call an EITHOR - an internal golem that limits you) hurts your ability to grow and hurts your intimate relationships. In this talk Galit (my wife) and I explore how this EITHOR manifests and how to change it. Examples are given from the clinic and our marriage. Practical tips will help you soften this Eithor in your life today. www.potentialstate.comhttps://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationshipshttp://podcast.potentialstate.com/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXwdZhwQFgUcRQgZoI_L2Uwhttps://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialStatehttps://twitter.com/assaelSupport the show (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=Q5AG6K7L8GYKA&source=url)

    OWNURSH!T 38 - Secrets - The Quicksand That Keeps You Small

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 28, 2020 8:34 Transcription Available


    We all have secrets. That's natural.But what limits our growth and relationships is the shame and guilt they cause.But what can we do about it? In this talk, I share the ways in which secrets can hurt your development and prevent your intimate relationships from deepening.Examples are given from the clinic and my life.Practical tips are given how to safely diffuse secrets from the toxic effect in your life.www.potentialstate.comhttps://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationshipshttp://podcast.potentialstate.com/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXwdZhwQFgUcRQgZoI_L2Uwhttps://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialStatehttps://twitter.com/assaelSupport the show (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=Q5AG6K7L8GYKA&source=url)

    What is Your Love Language?

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 21, 2020 11:08 Transcription Available


    We all have a love tank. When it's empty we feel unloved, angry, lonely, and become passive-aggressive. In short, empty love tank=bad relationships.The secret to a good relationship is filling up each other's love tank.How do you do it?Firstly, you must recognize what you and your partner's love language is. Then you must learn how to speak in their love language.In this talk, Galit (my wife) and I discuss the theory of The Five Love language by Dr. Gary Chapman, using examples from the clinic and our marriage.Practical tips are given to help you learn to recognize your own love language and better fill your partner's and children's love tank.For more information on the five love languages check out: https://www.5lovelanguages.com/www.potentialstate.comhttps://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationshipshttp://podcast.potentialstate.com/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXwdZhwQFgUcRQgZoI_L2Uwhttps://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialStatehttps://twitter.com/assaelSupport the show (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=Q5AG6K7L8GYKA&source=url)

    The key to your joy is in your pain.

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 14, 2020 6:38 Transcription Available


    Most of us try to avoid deep feelings of pain, anguish, and despair. Yet by blocking those dark feelings (which I call the 1-3 feelings) you are also blocking your ability to feel deep ecstasy, joy, and elation.In this talk, I explain why the key to your deep joy is in your pain, through examples from the clinic and my personal life.Practical tips will help you gently explore your pain to re-connect to profound joy.www.potentialstate.comhttps://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationshipshttp://podcast.potentialstate.com/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXwdZhwQFgUcRQgZoI_L2Uwhttps://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialStatehttps://twitter.com/assaelSupport the show (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=Q5AG6K7L8GYKA&source=url)

    "Give me more!" - Make a 'more' space in your life.

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 7, 2020 6:20 Transcription Available


    "There's no comfort in the growth zone and no growth in the comfort zone."Do people in your life want more from you?Are they excited and invested in your development and growth?Most of us don't have a 'more' space in our lives where we are challenged to evolve and mature by the people around us.In this talk I explain why having a 'more' space in your life will help you develop beyond your comfort zone.Examples are given from the clinic and my personal life. Practical tips are given how to start creating a 'more' space in your relationships.www.potentialstate.comhttps://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationshipshttp://podcast.potentialstate.com/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXwdZhwQFgUcRQgZoI_L2Uwhttps://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialStatehttps://twitter.com/assaelSupport the show (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=Q5AG6K7L8GYKA&source=url)

    OWNURSH!T 37 - Your faults are welcome here.

    Play Episode Listen Later May 31, 2020 6:04 Transcription Available


    We don't want to show our faults and shadows. We fear that people will hurt, reject, or leave us if they see how "pathetic" we are.Therefore we create environments where you have to bring your "best self", which lead to self-presentation and shallowness. The result is atmospheres lack vitality, play, or growth.In this talk I explain why creating spaces where faults are welcome can enhance and deepen your relationship.Examples are given from the clinic and my personal life. Practical tips will help you create such open spaces in your relationships.www.potentialstate.comhttps://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationshipshttp://podcast.potentialstate.com/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXwdZhwQFgUcRQgZoI_L2Uwhttps://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialStatehttps://twitter.com/assaelSupport the show (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=Q5AG6K7L8GYKA&source=url)

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