Podcasts about carterton

Peter and Bill chat about some news items. Chelsea is sold out and opened to the general public Tuesday 19th May. Our friends at Malvern Garden Buildings have a stand and are exhibiting again. It may be a controversial year as one of the designers is getting criticised for using an AI app to design gardens. Peter has found a new range of pencils from Sprout World that have seeds in the end so you can grow things from your old pencil. Bill suggests writing labels from the top down and put a date on it so you know when you started them. It is also very important to protect your young seedlings from late frosts. Young plants still need protection.If you fancy visiting a Garden, Aspley Guise has many houses with open gardens on 24th May. Ramsden near Witney Oxfordshire also has 15 gardens open on the 24th. On the 30th gardens are open in Moggerhanger Bedfordshire and Carterton in Oxfordshire. If these aren't local to you have a look at the NGS website, Pumpkins Beth's website or the Open Gardens website.Sir David Attenborough has had his 100th birthday.Taylors bulbs have won a Gold medal at the RHS Malvern show, next for them is the Chelsea Show, could it be another Gold Medal?Peter learns the fact that his Tomatoes are too cold as the undersides of the leaves are going purple and the fact that he might be overwatering his Courgettes. If you have lost seedlings in the recent cold spells, you still have time to replant seeds or pop in to your local Garden Centre and buy some young seedlings.Our thanks to Chiltern Music Therapy for providing the music. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

AVM Burst in the Brain: A Recovery Story of Patience, Aphasia, and Finding Your Way Back Jennifer Tomscha was 39, driving her three-and-a-half-year-old daughter home from preschool, when an AVM burst in her brain. She felt a wash of dizziness first. Then her vision started collapsing on the right side. She pulled onto a narrow verge on the highway between Greytown and Carterton in New Zealand, tried to reach her husband, got no answer, and dialled 111 instead. When the dispatcher asked what was wrong, she said something she still can’t fully explain: “I think I’m having a stroke.” She didn’t know yet that she had two arteriovenous malformations in her left frontal lobe — one discrete, one diffuse. She didn’t know that within hours she’d be helicoptered to Wellington Hospital for an emergency craniotomy, or that the following Monday a neurosurgeon named Dr. Woon would spend thirty hours trying to remove both malformations from her brain. She just knew something was wrong, and that her daughter was in the back seat, and that she couldn’t keep driving. That moment — pulling over, self-diagnosing, refusing the urge to simply lie down and rest — may be the reason she’s alive. What happens when an AVM bursts in the brain An arteriovenous malformation is a tangle of abnormal blood vessels that connects arteries directly to veins, bypassing the capillary network that normally regulates blood flow. Most people with an AVM never know they have one. But when an AVM bursts in the brain, blood floods into surrounding tissue at high pressure, and the consequences are almost always severe: haemorrhagic stroke, seizures, sudden neurological deficits, and in many cases, death. Jennifer’s first surgery controlled the bleeding. The second, five days later, was supposed to remove both malformations. It didn’t go as planned. The surgical team discovered that blood flow to the first AVM was feeding the second one, causing the brain around it to swell. Dr. Woon had to make an impossible decision in the middle of the operation: let her die, or remove a portion of healthy brain tissue along with the malformation. He chose to keep her alive. The surgery took thirty hours. When it was finally over, he called her husband and said, “Well, you’ll be lucky if she talks.” The six weeks she can’t remember Jennifer has no memories of the first six weeks after her AVM burst. She was in a medically induced coma for the surgery, then in intensive care, then transferred to rehabilitation. Everything she knows about that period has been told to her by other people. When her memory started returning, she found herself in a rehabilitation ward in Masterton, using adult nappies, unable to sit up in bed. The front of her skull had been removed and wouldn’t be replaced for months. She wore a protective helmet whenever she walked. And yet — she insists — she felt fine. [Quote block — mid-article] “I kept saying, ‘I’m okay, I’m fine. You guys should just take it easy around me.’ But of course, I wasn’t really fine.” — Jennifer Tomscha The honest recognition of what had happened to her didn’t come for almost two years. It took that long for her brain to have enough capacity to think about her brain. The myth of the one-year recovery window Most stroke survivors are told, either directly or by implication, that the first year matters most. That after twelve months, improvements slow. That after two years, you’ve plateaued. Jennifer’s experience — and the experience of nearly every long-term survivor interviewed on this podcast — contradicts that narrative. Four years after her AVM burst, she is still discovering what recovery means. Her academic writing, once her profession as the Director of the Writing Program at NYU Shanghai, doesn’t flow the way it used to. She can’t recall songs from memory anymore, or sing the ones she used to sing. Her aphasia shows up most at night, when she’s tired. She still takes an afternoon nap most days. But she’s also finishing a PhD. She can read as well as she ever could. She’s speaking, articulately, in a podcast interview eighty minutes long. And the parts of recovery she thought had stopped improving are, quietly, still improving. What Jennifer wants other survivors to know Her advice, offered near the end of the conversation, is short and unsparing: “You can rest, and that’s okay. You can be as slow as you want to be, and that’s also okay. But don’t give up. Just keep going — at whatever pace feels right.” It’s a rejection of both the productivity culture that tells survivors to push harder and the clinical culture that tells them to accept their limits. Recovery, for Jennifer, isn’t a race against a deadline. It’s a long, patient process of finding out what comes back and learning to live fully with whatever doesn’t. Bill’s book and community If Jennifer’s story resonates with you, Bill Gasiamis’s book — The Unexpected Way That A Stroke Became The Best Thing That Happened To — explores the same territory: the slow, unexpected, sometimes beautiful work of rebuilding a life after a brain event. Get the book here Readers who want to support the podcast and connect with the community of survivors it serves can do so at Patreon. Support on Patreon This blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Please consult your doctor before making any changes to your health or recovery plan. Jennifer Tomscha: An AVM Burst in Her Brain at 39, and the Four-Year Climb Back to Herself She self-diagnosed her own stroke while driving with her daughter. Four years on, she’s still discovering what recovery really means. Highlights: 00:00 Introduction and Background 10:00 Reflections on the Experience 18:00 Long-term Effects and Adaptations 26:45 Identity and Self-Perception Post-Stroke 38:48 The Long Game of Recovery 51:07 The Journey of Recovery 01:03:42 The Evolution of the Podcast Transcript: Introduction and Background: AVM Burst in the Brain Jennifer Tomscha (00:00) Dr. Woon was my neurosurgeon. And he just said, I’ll never do another surgery like that ever again. it was really long. And I think he definitely had made me worse. Like they had taken out. too much of my normal brain. when he called my husband after the surgery was over, Dr. Woon said like, well, you’ll be lucky if she talks. he was just so discouraged from how the AVM surgery went. when I finally talked to him on Zoom. was so you And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course I can. He was like, will you show me? and I walked up and down the room and he was like laughing so hard at my being able to walk. He was like so enthusiastic about it. Bill Gasiamis (00:44) Welcome back everybody. I am Bill Gassiomas and my guest today is Jennifer Tomche. In March, 2022, Jennifer was 39 years old living in New Zealand, finishing the first year of a PhD program when something happened to her brain that changed everything. What followed was a medical emergency unlike anything I’ve heard described on this podcast and a recovery story that quietly dismantles one of the most damaging myths in stroke survivor community. That after a certain point, the window for improvement closes. Jennifer is four years out from what happened to her. She still takes an afternoon nap every day. She still notices the edges of what her brain can and can’t do. And she is also finishing a PhD, raising two children and speaking with a clarity and warmth that will stop you in your tracks. This is a conversation about what it actually means to play the long game and why might be the most important thing any survivor can do. Before we get into it, if this podcast has been part of your recovery journey, I’d love for you to check out my book, The Unexpected Way That a Stroke Became the Best Thing That Happened, at recoveryafterstroke.com/book. And a genuine thank you to everyone supporting this work on Patreon. If you wanted to support the show, you can go to patreon.com/recoveryafterstroke. really helps me keep the conversation going. Let’s get into it. Bill Gasiamis (02:12) Jennifer Tomscha welcome to the podcast. Jennifer Tomscha (02:14) Thank you. I’m glad to be here. Bill Gasiamis (02:17) It’s lovely to have a local with me. Usually all my guests are from the United States or Canada or the United Kingdom. You’re just a hop, skip and a jump away in New Zealand. Jennifer Tomscha (02:20) Yeah. Mm hmm. Yep. Yep. I’m American originally, but we moved here in 2020. So ⁓ we I’m grew up in Iowa. And then and then I after but we were living in Shanghai for us for almost seven years, my husband and I were living in Shanghai and I was teaching at New York University, Shanghai and then when COVID happened in China. Bill Gasiamis (02:35) Where are we from in America? Jennifer Tomscha (02:54) they told us to leave the country because it was where it started. So, and we had two kids, so my husband didn’t want to go back to the United States. And so my sister lives in New Zealand. So we moved here and then we just stayed here. mm-hmm. So, yeah. Bill Gasiamis (03:11) So in China, was it just a request? Was it a directive? What was the situation? Jennifer Tomscha (03:18) From New York University, they said if you weren’t a Chinese national citizen, they strongly urged us to leave because they just didn’t know how they were gonna manage it. everyone, mean, in China, they had had SARS in the early 2000s, so they had already had it. And so right away, everyone had their masks on. They were ready to… go and I was like, I want to get out of here. So we went to New Zealand and they also had a lockdown, but it was just for a month and then everyone could wander around because the virus was not here. we just stayed and I got into this PhD program. So that’s why we’re still in New Zealand. Bill Gasiamis (04:00) Wow. That kind of brings us to the first question I ask most people these days is what was life like before stroke? So there was a little bit of stuff going on. was, work in China. There was a bit of, ⁓ travel from the United States to China. was children, but daily life. What, what was that like before the stroke? Jennifer Tomscha (04:21) When I saw my stroke happened in March of 2022 and at that time I had been in my PhD program for about a year. And I was just finishing up my research proposal. And so I was doing that during the day and my kids were both at, I have an older son who was in second grade year two. And then I have a daughter who was in preschool. And so my days were I dropped them off at their schools and then I would work for a little while. And then I would. go and get them. So, and then they would come home and we would do all the other stuff in parenting. And my husband at that time was working at the library. So he had, he was at the libraries from nine to five every day. So he was at work. And that’s what, that’s what we were doing. Yeah. When I had my stroke. I was busy trying to finish up this research proposal. And then, yeah. Bill Gasiamis (05:14) 39 years old at the time as well. Jennifer Tomscha (05:16) Yes, was 39. Bill Gasiamis (05:18) any signs, any kind of inkling that something was not right. Jennifer Tomscha (05:23) I didn’t, weirdly, so I’m trying to think about, my whole life I’ve had this thing where if, especially at just certain points if I hit my, this is maybe nothing to do with anything, but if I hit my elbow or my wrist, then I would pass out. And sometimes I would have like a little seizure while I was passing out. So wasn’t just like a regular fainting, it was like a seizure. And I had some of those in high school and I actually went to the, hospital for those at one point and I think they didn’t know what that was and they just did an EEG. I don’t even think we had an MRI where I lived. So I didn’t really know and then that sort of passed. But I was feeling when I have a daily journal that I was writing and when I go back and read that daily journal, the whole, for a couple months ahead of time, I was like, I just feel kind of weird. I don’t feel great. I feel like a little bit sick and I don’t know what’s wrong with me. And at that time they were allowing COVID to enter New Zealand. They were putting it in. So I was like, I think I might have COVID, but I took a bunch of tests. They were all negative. And then my stroke happened on Tuesday, but the Friday before I was so sick. And then that weekend I was really sick too. And then I got, like, I kind of felt like I woke up, I felt really nauseous. And then I felt better on Monday and Tuesday. And Tuesday was when my stroke happened. So I think that was all, it was all, think, my body reacting to, I was probably bleeding in my head at that time or something. mm-hmm. Bill Gasiamis (06:57) I got it. And we’re to have to go back and talk about how it was that when you got hit on your, on your wrist and your elbow, how hard was the hit? Jennifer Tomscha (07:05) I don’t know. Not super hard, I just, I don’t know what, I actually don’t know, and maybe it’s nothing to do with it. You know, maybe it’s something else in my body that I am prone to fainting. But I don’t know, I don’t really know why that, and maybe it wasn’t anything like that. But I had one day when I was 16 and I passed out three times and that did seem kind of funny. And I went to the doctor and I passed out while I was at the doctor’s office. So they were like, there’s nothing wrong with you. So they put me to the hospital. They did the EG. stayed the night. And then they were like, there’s nothing wrong with you. So that was it. But I think if nowadays they probably would have done an MRI, maybe, and they would have seen that I had my AVM and my whole life would have been different because I wouldn’t have done all the stuff that I’ve done now. Like my mom was like, if we had known you had had an AVM, you would have gone to school. in Sioux City, you know, or we would have done something to keep you nearby because we would be worried about you. Instead, I was just like, doing whatever I wanted to, which is good. Bill Gasiamis (08:14) Laze, but that’s kind of good. But also I get the preventative thing. One of the, my former guests had a daughter who had an AVM and I think she was five when she passed away from a bleed in the brain because of an AVM. That’s horrific. And one of the, it’s actually worth listening to that episode and it’s worth me interrupting this right now to jump on and find that episode so that I can share it with people. And this particular lady has made it her life’s mission to raise money, get an MRI machine and do preventative scans for people in case they have an AVM or some other undiagnosed neurological condition. I think it’s Gina. Gina Keely. OK, it’s. And her ⁓ foundation is now called the Paige Keeley Foundation, it’s the most heartbreaking story. It’s episode 141 and I’ll have the link in the show notes and I’ll have it in the YouTube description. So for anyone listening, jump back and have a look at that. And also maybe even consider supporting the foundation because the story is heartbreaking and the efforts that this lady is going to ensure that this doesn’t happen to other people is just amazing. So. I wanted to, I raised that because I had a, in 2011, no, no, in 2010, about 18 months before my actual AVM bled, I had a really terrible negative episode, nauseous, room spinning, like all the signs of stroke, but completely missed the, completely missed Jennifer Tomscha (09:47) Mm. Bill Gasiamis (09:55) the AVM when I went and actually had an MRI. So yeah, I went to the hospital, gave them my, rundown of what was happening to me and they were so switched on and they got me in and they did all the tests, but they didn’t find anything because they didn’t know what they were looking for. And there was no obvious sign of bleeding. So they didn’t dig deeper. And I have a friend of mine who is a radiographer who actually did my MRIs Jennifer Tomscha (09:58) ⁓ really? Mm. Reflections on the Experience Bill Gasiamis (10:22) when I was in hospital being treated after my AVM burst in 2012. And he said to me, the preventative stuff is very difficult because if you don’t specifically know what you’re testing for, you don’t know how to set up the machine and how many slices that it needs to take and at what resolution. So that when you deliver that to the radiologist and they’re looking at it, can they see an AVM and then pass that on? Jennifer Tomscha (10:37) Mmm Bill Gasiamis (10:49) that information onto the neurologist. They might even miss it, even though they’re doing MRI. But what Jena is doing, it sounds like they’re specifically going after aneurysms, AVMs, other malformations, and therefore they have kind of this better opportunity to find it. So if somebody is considering getting a preventative scan of their brain, you have to be very specific. Jennifer Tomscha (10:53) Bye. Bill Gasiamis (11:14) with the team of doctors, radiographers, neurologists, as to what you want them to look for and make sure that they adjust the scan so that it’s fit for purpose. Jennifer Tomscha (11:25) That’s interesting. That’s really interesting. Bill Gasiamis (11:26) Yeah. So what was the day of the stroke like? Was it, you said you’re feeling better on that Tuesday. Jennifer Tomscha (11:34) Mm-hmm. I had a good day. I have like lots of notes from my research proposal and I went to pick up. I don’t know why I did it this way actually. I went, my daughter’s preschool is in our town, Greytown, and I went and picked up her first and then I went to get my son. His school is a Montessori school. It’s in one town north. And so I went and got her and we were driving in the car and when I turned onto the highway that connects Greytown and Carterton, I just felt like a wash of dizziness and I started losing sight, I think, in my right eye. And it’s seven kilometers from Graytown to Carterton. And right before we got into Carterton, I pulled over onto the side of the highway. I tried, so by that time I think I had lost most of the sight in my one, my right eye. And so it wasn’t very long actually. And so I tried to call my husband, he didn’t answer. And then I just called 111 and I was like, I don’t know why I was like, I think I’m having a stroke, but I don’t know why I even thought that actually. Do know what I mean? I just, was like, something is wrong with me. And so my daughter was fussing in the back and, I don’t really remember anything after that. I don’t remember the paramedics coming. I don’t remember talking to anyone. but so when they, I think the police came first and then Then the paramedics came and they said I was nauseous, but talking a little bit. But then they moved me into the ambulance and, I started, choking and, or something, and they had to intubate me in the ambulance. And then they took me in. I was helicoptered off to Wellington hospital. So. Bill Gasiamis (13:12) How did you feel about it? I know you did the right things. You nailed it. But how did you feel? What were you thinking? I was completely oblivious to the risk I was at or in. Jennifer Tomscha (13:14) Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I don’t know. just, let’s see, I think… I think when I was losing my vision, that was hard. I mean, I’m really lucky. There was a little ⁓ path on the side of the road right before you enter Carterton. So I pulled over there so I could still control the car. You know what I mean? I wasn’t so bad. And I could dial 111 on my phone. I could still think about those things. But it wasn’t very long after I dialed 111 and talked to those people that I’d that my memory is gone. So I think, I mean, I have spent a lot of time trying to like go back and figure out like, what was it? What could I have done early? know, like I was really lucky I was in the car, because honestly, because if I was at home, I might’ve like laid down and taken a nap and not called anybody actually, or called Dan and half have not answered. So then I could just see myself. Bill Gasiamis (14:14) you Jennifer Tomscha (14:22) It was actually really lucky that I was in the car with my daughter because it made me, I mean, I couldn’t keep driving very well. And so it made me pull over and it made me, I’d have to do something because I wasn’t in town. So I had to like figure out how I was going to manage the situation. And so I was really lucky actually that I was in the car and that I was in a public space where I was easy to find and like I could, so I felt like really lucky that all that happened. in that time period, but also that soul that my daughter was with me because it made me, I had this like parental responsibility that I had to, I couldn’t keep driving with her in the car. Like I just, I knew I had to do something and quickly. I feel like, I feel really lucky that that was the situation that I was in because I could see a different day where I didn’t go get the kids at that time. And I maybe would have tried to take a nap and it would have been totally different. So you know what I mean. Bill Gasiamis (15:19) It’s such a common thing for people to go, oh, I’m not feeling well. I think I’ll just go lay down and have a rest and see if I can just get over it, sleep through it or whatever. yeah. And then it just leads to even more and more trouble or problems. The fact that you said, I think I’m having a stroke, right? That is so cool and bizarre and amazing. Jennifer Tomscha (15:29) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. The guy was like, why? And I was like, well, I’m losing my sight. I was like, I mean, I don’t know how it was. I was like, why do you think you’re having a stroke? I was like, I don’t know. But there was something wrong. You know what I mean. Bill Gasiamis (15:52) Yeah, that’s such a good question for me. Why do you think I’m going to strike? I don’t know, but I just came up with it. What? That was enough though. Like that was such a response from you to say, I think I’m having a stroke. It’s very, very rare that people get there, but the fact that you got there kind of gave, gave them also like an understanding of how to attend the site and what to do. Jennifer Tomscha (16:01) Mm. Bill Gasiamis (16:18) And that saves time as well. That saves a ton of time. Jennifer Tomscha (16:21) Right. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Bill Gasiamis (16:23) and gets them, even though you may have been wrong, right? Gets them looking in the direction because they’re already got that in their mind. And then, well, let’s look at that first and then let’s suss it out. She might be completely wrong. But I walked into the hospital after my, while I was having the third blade and said, I’m having a brain hemorrhage or something like that. And I was in the hospital upright, standing, looking normal and Jennifer Tomscha (16:27) Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that’s true. That’s ⁓ Mm-hmm. Bill Gasiamis (16:51) They were looking at me like, okay, what are you on? This guy, this guy must be on something because it doesn’t look like he’s having a stroke. And then I had to try and convince them, but I wasn’t giving them my contact details. So they weren’t able to bring up my record. And all they were saying was just give us your name, give us your name. We’ll put it in the system. We’ll have a look. And eventually they got it out of me and, ⁓ and I was right. But yeah, such a good thing. Jennifer Tomscha (16:54) Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, uh-huh. no. Hmm. you Bill Gasiamis (17:21) I love those little bits and pieces that go well together because you often hear I often hear the bits and pieces that didn’t go well and and it turned out differently and how old was your daughter at the time? Yeah, wow. Jennifer Tomscha (17:30) Mm-hmm. She was three and a half. And so she was still in the backseat, know, backwards in her car seat. And then we stopped and she was like, why are we stopping or whatever in her three and a half year old voice? And I was like, I just had to make a couple of phone, you know, I don’t know what I said to her. And then I think when the police came, she was asleep. Like she fell asleep back in the car. then, and then. It’s just, I, I’ll, so then for the next six weeks I don’t have any memories of anything. So all, all of the information has been given to me by other people. But, so, yeah. Long-term Effects and Adaptations Bill Gasiamis (18:04) So was quite a large blade after all of that. Jennifer Tomscha (18:06) Yeah, it was large. They took me, so I flew in the helicopter from Masterton to Wellington and I think they, by then my sister had gotten to the hospital and they, yeah, I think they said, yeah, they did an emergency, is it craniac? Or what’s the? Bill Gasiamis (18:25) Craniotomy, Jennifer Tomscha (18:26) Yeah, they did an emergency cradionomy and they saw that I was bleeding. And then they saw that I had this large left frontal or frontal lobe AVM. So, and then they said that at that moment they couldn’t tackle that AVM. So they, controlled the bleeding and then they, and they left my skull out and then, yeah. And then, then they, they talked to the neurosurgeon and He, that was a Tuesday and he said, why don’t you, I was in a coma, just keep her in a medical coma. And then Monday they would do the, the, the surgery to get rid of the AVM. Bill Gasiamis (19:05) And then that surgery happened. Jennifer Tomscha (19:07) That happened and it was, had my, actually had two AVMs. One was really discreet and they could see all the endings of it. And the other one was diffuse. I don’t really understand it, but, the neurosurgeon said there was like parts of regular brain in and around the AVM. I don’t really understand how that happens, but, ⁓ so they started in the morning and they did, they got rid of the one AVM. They were taking it out. And then something about the blood vessels that had some of they had been putting blood into that AVM. They then started feeding into the other AVM. So then that AVM made my brain sort of swell where that AVM was. And so the neurosurgeons had to decide if, mean, basically it was like, let me die. because they couldn’t do anything about it, or they would get rid of that AVM and they would just take out the brain that was, the normal brain that was in the regular AVM. So they took, they decided not to let me die, thank goodness, and they decided to do that. so, but it was really long surgery, it was 30 hours, I think they just didn’t, yeah, it was really long. And… And I think Dr. Woon was my neurosurgeon. And he just said, when he went and sewed my head back together, he didn’t think I was listening, but I was in the other room and I could hear him after I had my skull put back in. And he was like, I’ll never do another surgery like that ever again. it was too, it was really long. And I think he definitely thought that he had made me worse. Like they had taken out. too much of my normal brain. when he called my husband after the surgery was over, like they didn’t call him. Dan, my husband was waiting for the whole 30 hours and they only called him one time at like 11 o’clock that night. And they were like, we’re finishing up. But then they had all this other stuff happen. So they didn’t actually call him again until noon the next day. And Dr. Woon said like, well, you’ll be lucky if she talks. Because we had to take out. he was just so discouraged from how the AVM surgery went. And so, yeah. Bill Gasiamis (21:24) Dr. Woon needs to give himself way more credit. Jennifer Tomscha (21:27) I know, I know, I also think that. I also think that, I mean, it’s, I mean, neurosurgeons, they’re, it’s amazing that you could, I’ve just, it’d be so weird if your job was to cut people up and go into their brains and try and fix something in that organ, which is so mysterious, do you know? Like, yeah, so. Bill Gasiamis (21:48) Wow. 30 hours. So he also is thinking in his career, he’s probably never going to come across another 30 hour surgery. Yeah. Well, only if it’s necessary to make somebody better, but yeah, we definitely want to avoid that if we can for every human on the planet and for Dr. Woon, but I just, I’m just completely in awe of these people. I bumped into my surgeon last year. Jennifer Tomscha (21:57) I hope not. mean, I hope, you know, yeah, I don’t think, yeah. Right. Mm-hmm. Bill Gasiamis (22:15) because I had another MRI, because I had another bout of headaches and all that kind of stuff. still, you know, it hasn’t ended. I still go through all these things. And I mean, I mean kind of, I get emotional when I’m around her and when I’m in the room with her. If she told me to jump off a cliff because there is something positive down there and I would do it. If she said, if she said punch a hole through that wall, I would do it. Like I would do whatever she said because Jennifer Tomscha (22:20) no. Yes. Yeah. Bill Gasiamis (22:44) I just cannot get over the, know, when, you know, when you make a decision, some people, my phone is weird. I’ve never done this before, but you have a piece of fabric and it’s got some lines on it. And you know, if you cut it wrong, that you can’t use that piece of fabric for that pair of trousers anymore. You’ve got to use it for something else. Like that’s a pretty mild problem to happen. Like you cut wrong, you go in the wrong place. You pop that aside and. You’re useful. If you do that to a human, there’s no going back. And you’ve got to make that decision every single time you walk into the operating theater. And imagine his family. Like, I feel like we need to reach out to his family and say, is there anything we need to make up for? I know we had your husband for 30 hours, but like, how can we support your family now that he’s done that for my family? Jennifer Tomscha (23:40) Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bill Gasiamis (23:40) Do you know, like it’s so interesting that these people have been able to get to that level of capability. Jennifer Tomscha (23:49) Yes. Bill Gasiamis (23:50) with humans and helping people stay alive and be here with their family, be a mom, be a wife, be a daughter, be a member of the community. Jennifer Tomscha (23:51) Mm-hmm. Yep. Yep, exactly. It’s just, it’s amazing. It’s just so, and I’m so grateful to him and he had another neurosurgeon working with him and yeah, it did, I mean, yeah, it’s amazing. I always think though, I’m trying to think about like, did, why, if he cut out those parts of my brain, why weren’t they, why? I mean, I have some things I can’t do that I could do before. Like I can’t, this is so weird. I can’t recall songs very well and I can’t sing songs from memory, like at all. Like that part of my brain is done, which is fine, but I used to sing a lot. but I think because if the AVM is there when you’re in your, if it’s there when you’re in your mom’s womb, like if you’re, when you’re developing. It’s probable that my brain was like, there’s a little issue here in this brain. We’ll move some of the stuff away from, don’t you think that would be, yeah, because I just think like, I think where my AVMs were, my brain was like, we’re gonna move, we’re not gonna put stuff by those AVMs because yeah, because your brain is really adaptable. Like that’s one of the things that I’ve been reading since I had my stroke. Bill Gasiamis (24:59) Wow. Yeah, I’ve never thought about that. Why not? That makes sense, Jennifer. Because it’s… Yeah. Jennifer Tomscha (25:18) My mom’s like, your brain is so adaptable and flexible and it can do different things. You just have to try doing things, you know, and failing. Bill Gasiamis (25:26) And the blood flow is not right. So you imagine with blood flow not being right, then the brain’s not developing correctly in that spot anyway. And it’s just developing where there is blood flow. Jennifer Tomscha (25:37) Yes, exactly. Exactly. I just I feel like that makes sense to me. And that’s why if you’re the neurosurgeon, I mean, you really don’t know. Like Dr. Woon didn’t know what was there. But I just feel like maybe my brain when it was developing was like, well, this isn’t a good spot and this other spot isn’t a good spot. So we’ll just do everything in a different place. And the brain is really you can really do that. I think your brains are really plastic in the way that they can order themselves. And so I So it’s still all Dr. Woon. I’m just so grateful to him and everything that he did. Because honestly, I feel like I come from the States. I don’t know that a neurosurgeon, I just don’t know how long a neurosurgeon would have, they might be like, I’m done, I can’t do this anymore. I just don’t really know. It just all depends on the doctor and who sees you and everything. So I just felt so lucky to have been here. Bill Gasiamis (26:30) Imagine doing a 30 hour shift on any day for anything. Jennifer Tomscha (26:34) No. And the thing about neurosurgery is like you’re in, I mean you’re doing like, you’re in a microscope or whatever doing that little and you’re tying off a little blood vein and I don’t know, it’s nuts, it’s so nuts. mm-hmm. Bill Gasiamis (26:39) them. Identity and Self-Perception Post-Stroke Yeah. And they talk about, you know, how dangerous it is to drive when you’re off a take when you haven’t slept, when all those things. And these guys are going for 30 hours and they’re doing the most intricate, life altering surgery and it all goes perfectly well. So how wrapped was he when he realized how well it went. Jennifer Tomscha (27:09) I didn’t talk to him until June, so that was at the end of March. And then I was in the ICU for a while. then they moved me to Masterton and I did rehab. And then I went to this last clinic, this ABI, this brain clinic for people who had brain injuries. And that’s when I finally talked to him on Zoom. And he was like, so can you walk? And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course I can. He was like, will you show me? and I walked up and down the room and he was like laughing so hard at my being able to walk. He was like so enthusiastic about it. I was, you know, I mean, we can talk about this too. was, everyone was like, when I finally have my memory back, I was in Masterton and I was using a diaper. I couldn’t walk. I couldn’t step in bed, but I remember being, actually, ⁓ I remember being like, I’m fine. I’m fine. Everyone is just fussing over me. But of course, they were right too. Do you know what I mean? But I was like, I’m okay. Everyone needs to just like, let me just relax around me. And everyone was like, everything I did, they would be like, you know, I couldn’t feed myself. And then, you know, there’s all this stuff. And I was like, I’m really okay. You guys should just. take, like, I’m fine. I kept saying that, like, I’m okay, I’m fine. You guys are all. But of course, I wasn’t really fine, but I felt like, Bill Gasiamis (28:36) It sounds like you weren’t physically there yet, but you were emotionally and mentally fine. Like it sounds like you were on the, you kind of knew that things were going to turn out or. Jennifer Tomscha (28:48) I think so. I think, or maybe, I always think like maybe you can only manage so much. like at that time I had my front part of my skull was gone because it had been taken out when they did both my surgeries. And so I had to wear like a rugby helmet or whatever when I walked. But otherwise I would sit in my room and it looked terrible. It’s just so terrible. but I just didn’t really recognize that. Like I didn’t, wasn’t, I couldn’t do all the things at once. So I think I was just thinking about like, and finally at the middle of May, my mom and sister, I still had my like long hair in the back and short in the front. So my sister was gonna cut the long hair in the back. And I saw myself in a mirror and I was like, that doesn’t look very good. You know, like I wasn’t, I don’t feel like I was totally aware. I wasn’t, my brain wasn’t. totally back in it. It’s a long time to recover and I feel like my brain only gave me, I don’t know, I felt like I couldn’t think about my own brain, maybe for like a year or something, really think about it in a second order way. Bill Gasiamis (29:59) allow yourself to kind of observe your state, your brain condition. Jennifer Tomscha (30:02) Yes. Yes, I think I was like, it was like that my it was like maybe in October of the next year, October of 2023, where I was like, Oh, I can think about my brain and what it is in a way that I couldn’t. Because I don’t know, you have to go through, you just have to relearn a lot of stuff. But I didn’t like I’m lucky, like, it didn’t affect my reading, so I could read right away. I’m not a very good writer, like, I don’t have good handwriting anyway, and my handwriting still maybe isn’t as good as it was before I had my stroke, but, yeah. I feel like, felt like, the actual healing was a longer process than I thought it was going to be, especially right when I first woke up, because I was like, I’m fine, but I wasn’t really fine, actually. Do you know what I mean? Bill Gasiamis (30:55) 100%, they can make doctors and neurosurgeons do a 30 hour surgery, find that part, fix it, ta-da-da-da-da, do all those things, but they can’t make a helmet for God’s sake look half decent after they’ve taken your skull out. Like as if it’s bad enough, have skull missing and then they put this terrible looking thing over your head. Jennifer Tomscha (31:11) No. It’s true. It’s true. It’s true. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. Bill Gasiamis (31:22) And I know for women like hair is a big deal and become. Jennifer Tomscha (31:27) It was really, I have always liked my hair and it was, I had short hair for about a year and a half maybe, you know, and I started growing out more and that was a little bit hard. I felt like that’s really vain, but I was like, man, I just did not like that short hair. Cause it’s not very, I don’t know. I just, wanted my old hair back. So I was lucky that it came back though. You know, everything, it’s not cancer. It’s a different thing. So you have a different, you know. Bill Gasiamis (31:51) I never would have told you that your hair didn’t look good, but my favorite hair is brunette curly hair. Yeah. My wife is a brunette naturally and she has curls in her hair and she straightens it all the time. I haven’t seen her brunette curly hair for 30 years. Jennifer Tomscha (31:57) Thank you. ⁓ yeah. no. Bill Gasiamis (32:13) I’m like, woman, that’s what I like. Like that’s my thing. you stop straightening your hair, but I can’t get it to stop. ⁓ Jennifer Tomscha (32:20) Yeah, that’s fine. Everyone has to do what they want with their hair and everything. you know, that’s something that one thing I think about my stroke is you just got to go live your life. Like you can’t and you’ve done that beautifully. You know what I mean? Like this podcast is amazing. it’s just like, you just got to go do what feels good for you at the time and what you want to do and just do it. and stop saying no, or you know what I mean. Bill Gasiamis (32:49) I’m trying. am. know exactly what you mean. One of the biggest things is identity is a big, big thing. And I don’t talk about me so much. I’ll talk about what happened to me, my stroke journey, but I don’t really give people a look behind the curtain. You know, sort of really understand what’s going on. This is just all a facade. And one of the challenges that I have is this painting company that I started 20 years ago was the main source of income. And it stopped abruptly seven years in when I became. Jennifer Tomscha (33:02) Hmm. Mm-hmm. Great. Bill Gasiamis (33:17) and it sort of still kept bubbling along. And then I got back to it in 2019 because my clients were still calling me and I was well enough after seven years of going through stroke and all the stuff of surgery, learning to walk again and all that. I was good enough to sort of get back into it. And of course in 2019, I only had six months and then we were in lockdown. And then in lockdown, we had two years of lockdown in Melbourne, and then I’m trying to keep that thing going again. And then there was this massive influx of work after lockdown because everyone’s going, I’ve been looking at these walls for two years. They look terrible. Let’s get them painted. They had spare money because they hadn’t spent anything for two years. And that was like, let’s do this and let’s do that. And there was this massive amount of work for about 18 months. And then that was done. It was gone. And it’s been a steady decline since as soon as Trump opened his mouth and did something in Iran and said what he said, and he plummeted like we’ve got no work. And I’m okay to have no work because I’ve been there before and we’ve managed our affairs so that we’re okay. But I can’t employ people right now at all. That’s gone. And getting people back and starting that again is going to be extremely difficult because the curve Jennifer Tomscha (34:27) Yeah. Mmm. Hmm. Bill Gasiamis (34:36) is not it’s not going to be a sharp dip and then it’s going to be a big spike of work and demand and all that kind of stuff. this podcast has been my saving grace every time I’ve needed to occupy myself with a project and make it so that I’m not thinking about me. The podcast was there. I did. I did an interview. It got me over the line. But now the biggest void that’s going to occur is not that I’m going to Jennifer Tomscha (34:47) Mm-hmm. Bill Gasiamis (35:05) potentially not have work in this field and after shut it down, which is gonna be fine if I do that, I’m okay with that. I’ll kind of pass it on to my younger son who’s looking to do some work in a similar space. I’ll give him the phone number and he’ll be able to take those types of inquiries and then he’ll do it on his own, like very small, the way I started at the beginning. And is that I’m gonna have all the time in the world. Jennifer Tomscha (35:23) Mm. Bill Gasiamis (35:29) on my hands to do the thing that I’ve been avoiding doing because I had this business that relied on me and the thing was to do public speaking. Right. And to actually do it the way that I’ve wanted to do it for more than a decade, which was to talk about the topics that I want to talk about, which no one’s talking about post-traumatic growth, overcoming trauma, how that’s applicable in organizations. Jennifer Tomscha (35:38) yeah, yeah, Mmm. Bill Gasiamis (35:56) how to treat people better in an organization so they have less mental health issues, so they have less physical issues, so they’re sick less, so they enjoy their work, so they’re not hating their life. And now I’m going to have all the time in the world to do it. And I’m shitting myself. That’s the biggest issue, right? So that’s a little bit of a look behind the curtain. I am loving this. This is an amazing thing. And I do remember when I first started it, I was concerned about what people would say about me. You’re going to sound dumb, Bill. You you’re not going to, you know, what authority do you have? All those kinds of things, they were coming up in my head. And then when I wrote the book, the same thing, I wrote my first book, The Unexpected Way That a Strike Became the Best Thing That Happened to Me. Everyone has said, don’t write that book. Don’t write that. Jennifer Tomscha (36:27) Mm. Bill Gasiamis (36:39) Don’t let that be your title. It’s bizarre, it’s weird, like it’s strange, it’s too long and all these things. So I did it. And of course, the first time I spoke about it on YouTube, one of the first comments was a negative comment on my YouTube channel. It’s like, ⁓ okay. My God, that’s a kick in the guts. Jennifer Tomscha (36:44) really? ⁓ yeah. Bill Gasiamis (37:03) So those little kicks in the guts that I’ve had along the way have been few and far between, but they’re the ones that seem to persist the most. And they stay in that part of your head, which says, you know, that public speaking gig, you’re probably going to do the first one and they’re going to say you were terrible. And then you’re to feel all sad at 52 about, you know, yourself and all these things. Jennifer Tomscha (37:15) Yeah. you Bill Gasiamis (37:29) how you’re going to overcome that emotionally and mentally and all this kind of stuff. It’s like, Bill, relax. You’re gonna have time to build your new career at 52. You’re gonna have time to do it. So that’s like, all right. I find myself getting pushed into a corner and only then responding with, all right, all right, I better step up again. I better do this again. Jennifer Tomscha (37:33) Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Bill Gasiamis (37:58) Very strange, re-imagining yourself and recreating yourself after stroke is a huge thing because you’re also doing it with a stroke brain. Whereas before I had no excuses, I was doing it still. Like the pattern is the same. The stroke brain part of it is an obstacle that I wish I didn’t have, but somehow this stroke brain part has made me do things I’ve never done before. Jennifer Tomscha (38:14) You The Long Game of Recovery Bill Gasiamis (38:27) a podcast, a book. You know, I was a tradie. I was like, I didn’t study. didn’t read. In my, by the time I got to the age of 37, honestly, Jennifer, I reckon I’d read maybe seven books. And they were about this criminal underworld figure in Melbourne who had this, who had this career and of being like really terrible and somehow. He was the thing that I was interested in reading about. Like that’s the only thing that captured my imagination. Everything else, everything else I picked up from listening to podcasts or watching shows on TV and that kind of stuff. So I wanna just, I wanna make people understand that the battles that you’re fighting, I’m fighting, it’s real. Like you’re not doing it alone. Everyone’s fighting this. How do I reimagine myself? Jennifer Tomscha (38:56) Bye! Bill Gasiamis (39:20) after stroke, you know, I don’t tell people I’m an author. Still, this book has been out for three years. I’ve had amazing reviews. I’ve had a couple of, you know, negative reviews and that’s okay. I’m not, I’m not an intellectual. I haven’t, I’ve never studied how to write literature, any of that stuff. And it’s sold about seven or 800 copies just through the podcast. Jennifer Tomscha (39:21) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. That’s pretty good. That’s actually quite a bit, I feel like. It’s quite a bit, actually. Mm-hmm. Bill Gasiamis (39:47) I feel like to like I don’t promote it. I don’t tell anyone about it just in the podcast. And it’s like, I still don’t say I’ve authored a book. Nobody knows. Jennifer Tomscha (39:56) You should say it. mean, I do think the what are you going to do after you have a stroke? How are you going to do it? It’s all very strange and scary, I think. And like, yeah, I, I totally get your feeling about it. And it’s just really tricky to know what is the You know, for me, I feel like I was in middle of my PhD, so I took 22 months or 20 months off of doing the PhD just to rest. And then I went back in and it was, it is still, it was really hard. I like, wasn’t very good at figuring out how to write in the academic way. Which was my position. I was director of the writing program at NYU Shanghai. So I was like, that was my thing. And it was very hard to figure out how to return to do the critical work of my thesis. was just, it’s just, I don’t know, my brain just couldn’t figure out how to do it right. It was really interesting. was like, the sentences I was writing weren’t as good. They probably still aren’t as good. You know, like when I look at what I was writing before I had my stroke, which is part of my thesis, and then the stuff I wrote after my stroke, I feel like I can tell a little bit of a difference in the fluency of my writing, for sure. So, yeah. And I just, so… Yeah, I don’t know. It’s tricky. It’s tricky to figure out. But I was really lucky, actually. I think the PhD was helpful because… I could just go at it on my own time and I could just take however much time I needed. And I, I had a deadline. but it was good to just, it was actually like a really good place to start to work my brain again, to be like, okay, I have to, I’m going to write on this author and what she thinks about character. And I’m just going to, and I have these other texts that I’m interested in and I have to figure out how I’m going to. Represent them in my own work. And so it was really good to do all that. It was a good stepping stone for me I think actually to get back into it and to see What I could and couldn’t do very well, like I feel like I’m a really good reader. I’m a really good Critic and I’m not so good at ⁓ writing down what I think anymore as well So I’m just I really have to work on and I don’t know how you get it back like Bill Gasiamis (42:26) articulating Jennifer Tomscha (42:28) Yeah, articulating what I mean and yeah, I feel like I can’t, I can’t say things as artfully or as proficiently as I used to. So I don’t know, this woman who is getting her PhD at Vic too, she’s like, she studies how people learn to read. And she was like, if you’re having problems with academic writing, you should get a, and I still haven’t done this, you should get an academic book and you should listen to it because a lot of learning to read is listening to how sentences sound. She was like, so you should listen to an academic book and that will help you think about how those sentences work and how they’re maybe different from like, I write fiction. So fiction is one thing and then this is a different way of writing. So she said that was one thing that she thought I should do to help. develop my proficiency in academic writing, which was really interesting. So. Bill Gasiamis (43:25) Yeah, it’s a different approach. You know, it’s coming from the auditory, you know, system and therefore the auditory digital system. Therefore you go in and you you, you pick up nuances that you wouldn’t have known were there if you’ve never heard an academic speak or if you’ve never read an academic document in that way. So you might read it. Jennifer Tomscha (43:28) Mm-hmm. Yeah. Bill Gasiamis (43:51) to get something out of it. Like, okay, what is this academic saying about this topic? But that’s not paying attention to the structure of how it’s written. That’s a different filter. Jennifer Tomscha (43:55) Mm-hmm. No, exactly. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Exactly. So I thought that was an interesting way to think about, like, how I could get better at that thing. That was, like, a really important thing for me. That, for some reason, it did just get a little bit, I don’t know, stunted? Or I don’t know what happened, you know? Or I just haven’t been in academia as much. So you know what I mean? So, yeah. Bill Gasiamis (44:17) Yeah. Yeah, 100%. The skill is not as refined or, or practiced as your other skills. So it’s not the thing that you’re the best at. and you’re getting better at it. The thing about it is also, may I add you’re only four years out from all the drama that you had with your brain. So there’s a lot of healing to happen that is going to improve. That’s going to get better and better. And in four or five years from now, you will have Jennifer Tomscha (44:29) Mm-hmm. Bill Gasiamis (44:49) turn the corner again, you’ll see that there’s more and more improvement. It’s really important for people to hear this, who are three, two, one, five, six years in, there’s still heaps of healing and recovery to come. So it’ll happen. Jennifer Tomscha (45:07) Yeah, that was something that my husband and I, in my first year after my stroke, he would be like, go to the gym. And he did. He, I went to the gym and I, had me lift weights and he wanted me to like exercise. And he was like, what are you doing to improve your mind and your body over this first year? And I was like, I’m, I’m again, I was like, I’m fine. I’m really fine. And, and, ⁓ he thought I wasn’t doing enough. Like he wanted me to just go at it with this intensity. I don’t know. was an, cause I was like, I am going at it with my own sort of intensity, but he wanted me to be more aggressive than I wanted to or something. You know what I mean? He wanted me to be like, he wanted to see me really working at it and like sweating or doing, you know what I mean? And I was like, I don’t wanna, I don’t know. Bill Gasiamis (45:59) He wanted it to be more masculine. Jennifer Tomscha (46:01) Yeah, I guess. And he’s not very masculine guy. I mean, he’s a masculine guy, but he’s like, he was just he just wanted to see me sweating it out or doing the really see my focus. And I just yeah. And that has been an issue because he’s like, yeah, he’s just like, are you going to work again? I was like, yes, I’ll work. I just don’t know what I’ll do. And I don’t know if I could do a full eight hour day right now. I still take a nap every day in the afternoon. So But yeah, it’s just, don’t, yeah, so. Bill Gasiamis (46:34) It’s easy for a caregiver to say that because they haven’t had a stroke. Thank God. Thank God. ⁓ Jennifer Tomscha (46:40) No, I know. Thank goodness. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Actually, I mean, I feel really bad for Dan and my mom and my sister. Like, it’s actually worse to be the caregiver in some ways because you just, you don’t go through it. So you, you don’t really know what it’s like. Bill Gasiamis (46:55) I and you, and if you’ve got an imagination, a wild imagination, you could turn it into something completely way worse than what it is. And if you’re ignorant, which most family members and caregivers are, let’s face it. And that’s okay. Then you do the other thing. You play it down and you assume she should be going harder than that or Jennifer Tomscha (47:11) Yeah. Mm-hmm. Bill Gasiamis (47:19) If I was, if it was me, I’d be doing that. But your brain has actually been injured and in that space, perhaps where motivation is for some people. And there is no way that you can make that person more motivated by willing them on or telling them to go to the gym or whatever. That could actually be missing the motivation part. So there’s a whole bunch of things that caregivers and family members miss. And it’s for me, it’s when I’m surrounded, when, when the people that are around me are Jennifer Tomscha (47:33) Mm-hmm. Bill Gasiamis (47:46) ⁓ people who don’t want to engage deeply in those types of troubles, life and all that kind of stuff. they’re great people. They’re just like, emotionally they don’t go deep, right? They love it that there’s ambiguity around like what’s wrong with me. Cause they look at me, I look right. And then they just go, everything’s fine. He looks amazing. I feel better now. And when I’m around him, I can just talk about dumb stuff. Jennifer Tomscha (48:07) Mmm, yeah, yeah. Bill Gasiamis (48:14) And we can talk about things that are not important and everything’s fine. And it’s kind of like head in the sand. It’s a, you know, one step, one emotional step removed from the actual goings on. And it kind of also helps me strangely enough, because then I don’t have to deal with their inability to handle actual life and the real things that are going on. Jennifer Tomscha (48:39) Mm. Yeah. Bill Gasiamis (48:43) that can just be living in La La Land and I don’t have to deal with that level of complexity. So it’s kind of, they’re both situations are helping me in a way. Whereas at the beginning I was taking that negatively. The thing I do, the thing I would like to do is challenge caregivers to listen to the podcast, especially of the spouse who I’ve interviewed. Jennifer Tomscha (48:50) Yeah. Yeah, that’s true. Bill Gasiamis (49:09) You know, and then a couple more after that to get an insight so that they’re not guessing or second guessing or think they know better, et cetera. No doubt about it. they, know, they know some things about us that they can see that we’re not doing a pattern in behavior that we’re avoiding. Perhaps they know that part and all that type of thing. But we’ll say, we’re also dealing with a messed up brain. So have a bit of a kind of a Q Jennifer Tomscha (49:13) Hmm. Right, right. Bill Gasiamis (49:36) be curious about where that person’s coming from, not how you’re feeling about where they’re coming from. And that’s what family members and caregivers do. They make it about them. And I had to say a few times to people in my circles, like, it’s not about you. Jennifer Tomscha (49:43) Right. Ha Tomscha Tomscha! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Bill Gasiamis (49:56) It’s actually really about me. cannot walk and I can’t use my left hand. It’s not about you. Like I know you woke up with a numb leg one day because you slept on it wrong, but it’s not the same. Jennifer Tomscha (50:05) Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That’s funny. Yeah. Bill Gasiamis (50:14) My wife was dragging my foot in the wheelchair. It had fallen off the, you know, the rest where your leg, your feet sit. It had fallen off and I hadn’t noticed. This is like day three or day four after brain surgery. And it was dragging underneath the footrest. And she noticed that the wheelchair wasn’t moving and she was shoving it until we realized. Jennifer Tomscha (50:22) higher. Bill Gasiamis (50:40) My foot was stuck underneath the rest and we had a laugh. that kind of like, that’s one of those, if those people were there and they saw that, they would realize like, it’s not about your numb leg when you slept on it weird one night. take your stuff and just, you know, park it for now. So it’s interesting. That’s kind of why I think I do this podcast. I think it’s for those Jennifer Tomscha (50:44) Yeah, yeah, Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. The Journey of Recovery Bill Gasiamis (51:08) people if they, I’ve never told them that they should jump on, but if they, for example, get curious one day and they want to know what it’s like to be in Bill’s head, pick one of the 400 episodes. Just have a listen. Jennifer Tomscha (51:09) Mmm. I have a question for you. you, this is something that, so you think you could just, you can keep improving from your stroke. There’s not like a deadline. There’s not like a couple of years or any. Bill Gasiamis (51:36) One of the things I learned from my wife and my brother, my brother is my biggest nemesis. You he’s older and he’s the most loving guy. He’s the most supportive guy, but he has a weird way of doing it. Just, you know, we’re different characters, right? So he just is a bit different in the way. one, one of the things my brother said was that I picked up, I reckon it was five, six years ago is he’s in it for the long game. Jennifer Tomscha (52:03) Hmm. Bill Gasiamis (52:04) When I was young, I had 20 jobs in 10 years. He said two jobs in 40 years or 30 in 30 years. So he just chips away, works away, works away, works away. This is an analogy, right? But also a true story. My wife started her, her, her master’s in psychology. She only started that a few years ago, but the whole. Jennifer Tomscha (52:08) Hmm. Hmm. Bill Gasiamis (52:28) journey to get to the Masters of Psych started in I think late 2011 or early 2011, about a year before I ended up in hospital. She is just now finishing the last part of her Masters degree and she found a job literally a week ago in her field two days a week. Jennifer Tomscha (52:35) Mm. Mmm. ⁓ Bill Gasiamis (52:56) to work as a provisional psychologist so that she can get the 1500 hours of work in the field before she actually gets her actual full psychology license. And I’m like, dude, I get it. So what you’re telling me is that if you just start and never stop, you’re gonna see some kind of progress. And I apply that to… Jennifer Tomscha (53:08) Right. That’s amazing. Mmm. Mm-hmm. Bill Gasiamis (53:27) stroke recovery. I know that people are dealing with far more deficits that perhaps you and I show visibly and that their hand may not specifically work the way that it always that they wanted it to work or that the way that it worked before. But that doesn’t mean the brain’s not continuously continuously healing that part of the brain might be gone. But as far as healing the parts around the brain that are still there, that’s continuing. Jennifer Tomscha (53:28) Uh-huh. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Bill Gasiamis (53:58) And if, and, and one of the questions that I have for people is like, is what I’m doing supporting my recovery or is it hindering my recovery? Because I’ve met stroke survivors who have gone back to the smokes, who have gone back to alcohol. And if you’re doing things that are getting in the way of recovery, then you’re not allowing the brain to continuously do what it does best, which is overcome challenges, rewire. Jennifer Tomscha (54:05) Mmm. Bill Gasiamis (54:25) find new ways around, know, develop new neural pathways and adapt. And that’s kind of where I think it’s at adaption, right? And the great thing about understanding these days about neurodiversity and understanding what somebody with ADHD goes through is the one skill they’re really, really good at is adaption. Jennifer Tomscha (54:31) Mm-hmm. Mm, that’s interesting. Yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm. Bill Gasiamis (54:49) because and people with dyslexia. my God, like some of the biggest, most wealthy billionaires on the planet had dyslexia. Richard Branson is a classic example of that. Yeah. And they adapt. They find a way to somehow overcome the normal world and be weird in the way that they see letters and what letters do and how they move on a page and all that kind of stuff because their brain adapts and they can just continuously improve their adaption strategy. Jennifer Tomscha (54:57) really? didn’t know that. Mm-hmm. Bill Gasiamis (55:17) to get to a point where no one knows that they have this condition. So that’s what I’m really passionate about. That’s why the podcast exists. I’ve interviewed in my 400 episodes, I’ve certainly interviewed stroke survivors who I’ve had improvement 10, 11, 12, 13 years post stroke, got a finger movement back. Yeah, got sensation back, something rewired. So yeah. Jennifer Tomscha (55:19) Right. Mm-hmm. really? That’s amazing. Yeah, becau

 The rain overnight wasn't as heavy as feared, though more rain is still forecast. 

In part two, Matthew Mokhefi-Ashton, Lecturer in Politics and International Relations at Nottingham Trent University discusses the Epstein Files with the Panel and asks: who decides what to redact? Then, Carterton is the small town fighting to save its indoor pool. The Panel hears from Anna Beetham, chair of the Carterton Indoor Pool Project.

In South Wairarapa, two men will be in court on Monday, charged with murder of a man in Featherston on Saturday afternoon. Also on Saturday a house was shot at in Gisborne, and in the afternoon a 19-year-old was arrested for a gun related offence in Palmerston North. Gisborne mayor Rehette Stoltz and Carterton mayor Ron Mark spoke to Corin Dann.

Gladstone, a 15-minute drive from Carterton in Wairarapa, is putting on its annual Scarecrow's Big Day Out, where locals and school kids make their own scarecrows to line the school fence, culminating in a big fundraiser fair for the school.

We dive into the pressing issues surrounding New Zealand's water infrastructure. With Three Waters gone, smaller councils face enormous challenges in delivering clean water. Ron Mark, Mayor of Carterton, shares his insights on potential solutions, including the amalgamation of councils. We also hear from David Graham of the Billy Graham Youth Foundation on funding cuts, and Shay Peters from Robert Walters Recruitment offers career advice in a tight job market. Don't forget we go live every weekday morning at 7:30  YouTube, Twitch, and Tik Tok.  All the other social, listen and watch links are here See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Every Friday, we bring you some of the most interesting events and happenings coming up in Aotearoa this weekend - from the community fairs to the massive concerts. Tonight we're talking with Richard Hall the founder of Stonehenge Aotearoa about how they're celebrating the winter solstice in Carterton this weekend.

OPINION Now if you're anything like me, you hate filling out the census. There's something about filling it out that makes you think you're giving away too much information. Soon you've got people knocking on your door making sure you fill it out. It's a giant pain in the backside. But I understand that the census is an important piece of data for the government to use to determine where the money goes. Well the results of the 2023 census came out yesterday and there was one pretty shocking result for Wellington. Try and think of something Wellington and the Chatham Islands have in common. Very little, you would have thought. Well, it was revealed yesterday that the only two places in the country where the population didn't grow by a single person were Wellington City and the Chatham Islands. Not a single extra person since the census in 2018. Can you believe that? In actual fact, Wellington's population dropped by 48 people. We're smaller than we were in 2018. And if you think of the hundreds of thousands of immigrants that have arrived in New Zealand since 2018, it seems crazy that this city hasn't grown at all. And we all know why. Wellington is nothing like it used to be. Right now I actually think I'd prefer to live on the Chatham islands.  I jest... Regionally Wellington's growth is lagging behind the rest of the country.  While Wellington City didn't grow at all, the Wellington region had almost the slowest population growth rate in the country at 2.8% between 2018 and 2023. It was second only to the Southland region which grew by 2.7%. The population of Wellington region was almost exactly 521,000 as recorded on census night last year. The number of dwellings counted in the 2023 census is up 6.4% to 216,000. Why oh why does no one new want to live in Wellington? Wellington mayor Tory Whanau said people still want to live in Wellington, but housing affordability is pushing people further out of the region…  Really Tory? I actually think that people have had enough of Wellington and think there are better options elsewhere in New Zealand.  Wellington is in a hole right now. Tory also said it's important to remember that people move in and out of cities all the time. She said she knew anecdotally that people had opted to buy homes out of the city because it's more affordable. Yes I agree  Tory, but the reason that people are moving is the high rates, high insurance and high cost of living in the capital city right now. A few interesting other facts; Porirua is the fastest growing city in the region with 5.1 % population growth. Kapiti Coast grew by 4.2%, Upper Hutt by 4% and Lower Hutt by 2.9%. And here's the star of the show, only a small trip over the hill. The Wairarapa is growing significantly faster than this side of the hill with an increase of 9.9 percent in South Wairarapa and Carterton, and 8.3% in Masterton. I get the feeling Wairarapa is the new Kapiti. And Wellington... Well. We have issues.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

There's hopes Auckland's water deal with the Government can be replicated in the Wellington region. The Government and Auckland Council yesterday announced an agreement to help Aucklanders avoid a previously-signalled 25.8 percent water rates hike. Carterton mayor Ron Mark says they've agreed to working collaboratively to producing a regional water plan. LISTEN ABOVESee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In ages long past, before the dawn of the smartphone and the instant image, a different kind of magic unfolded. Photographers embarked on quests with cumbersome contraptions of brass and glass. They wrestled with this strange alchemy, capturing the fleeting moments of a world yet unfrozen. Much that once was is lost, for none now live who remember it. We didn't quite make it to that place with collodion, but we came close. In this episode, we talk to another pioneer - a Godfather of sorts - who continued this quest and joined a small fellowship of others seeking out the ways of wetplate. That's enough reference to the Tolkien classic, for now, but Brian Scadden of Carterton, New Zealand, has a lot to talk about when it comes to collodion and how being isolated from the rest of the wetplate world didn't stop him becoming a dedicated practitioner and teacher of the process. So grab your pipe, settle in by the campfire, and prepare to hear how the search for the wisdom of collodion turned into an obsession rivaling that of Gollum.

On today's show, Clint, Meg and Dan talk stranger insults that they have received. We ask locals in Carterton if they know who won lotto over the weekend. People tell the show about their regrettable tattoo's. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The bad vibrations continue on the Wairarapa region's rail line, where brand new tracks signed off by KiwiRail were found to be too narrow for the carriages that use them. Train speeds have been reduced considerably over a 16-kilometre section of the track laid just two months ago but trains still vibrate disconcertingly through parts of it. And a fix will be slow in coming after Greater Wellington Regional Council said work to grind the tracks back can't be done until a fire ban in the region is lifted. Carterton mayor Ron Mark describes the situation as a "circus". Mark spoke to Corin Dann.

On the provisional vote count, New Zealand First will have eight members in Parliament - but its not yet clear whether he'll be getting a call from Christopher Luxon, inviting Winston Peters to join National and ACT in Government. Together, National and ACT have 61 seats, in a Parliament which will have at least 121 seats. The Party's leader Winston Peters last night called it an "inflection election" with voters "turning things around".  One of the party's former ministers, and the current mayor of Carterton, Ron Mark was present for coalition negotiations in 1996 and 2017.  He spoke to Ingrid Hipkiss.

Jacqui Friedrichs has almost reached the limit in her lamb orphanage east of Carterton. It's been a tough lambing season and there is high demand for her intensive care. Her husband thinks she's mad but she can't help herself giving the newborns the best lives until it's time to head off in the truck.

NZTA has finished building physical safety improvements between Masterton and Carterton. There's a new wire median barrier and three roundabouts. Flynn says locals have been campaigning for the roundabouts to be built for decades. There's still some debate on what the speed limit should be. And Kiwirail is upgrading all 30 railway level crossings in Wairarapa, in advance of new faster trains coming to the region. Also the GP shortage in Wairarapa means that all three medical centres in Masterton are not taking any new patients. Flynn Nicholls is a reporter at the Wairarapa Times-Age

Masterton, Carterton and South Wairarapa councils are planning a new governance deal in light of the proposed coalition of all the countries local authorities. The three mayors say they'll even consider establishing one big council.  Ron Mark is the Carterton District Mayor and driving force behind the idea. He joins Nick Mills on Wellington Mornings. LISTEN ABOVESee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

⁠JOIN THE STAG ROAR COMMUNITY Ryan Nicholson Chasing a self-directed life.Mainly books, dog pics, and outdoors stuff.Carterton, NZwww.equilibriumenvironment.com/posts Bush Balance NZ Balance | Connection | DirectionNon-profit outdoor experiences for youth and familiesPolice Vetted & First Aid CertifiedWairarapa NZ If you or a loved one have some aches and pains setting in, or an injury that needs support to heal, consider topping up your body with Canes Deer Velvet.  It's packed full of amazing nutrients that the body uses in maintaining the immune system, bones, joints, circulation and general well-being.  Find out more at www.canesdeervelvet.com and use code "STAGROAR252" for a 20% introductory discount.  DrinkLMNT.com/STAGROAR for your "Free Sample" Just Pay for Shipping  https://drinkarepa.com/collections/all-products Ārepa. The world's smartest brain food. 100% natural. Caffeine free. Effects you can feel. Use the code "STAGROAR" at checkout for 20% off your order!  Instagram https://www.instagram.com/ryanoconnornz/  Instagram https://www.instagram.com/stagryan/  Twitter https://twitter.com/stagryan  Tik Tok @ryanstagoconnor  Facebook https://www.facebook.com/WaiKeto/  Blog https://stagryan.com/  Website: https://www.stagroar.co.nz/

Hey there Nature Nerds! We're baaaaack! This week Jen talks all things Hot Air Balloons, so strap on your parachute and enjoy! ;) Organization to Support: bfa.net (90% approval rating on charity navigator) Balloon Federation of America The BFA is a 501c3 non-profit association dedicated to the advancement of the sport and science of lighter-than-air aviation, both hot air and gas balloons. Founded in 1961, membership in the BFA is open to anyone who shares a fascination with Lighter Than Air flight. They seem to be the one stop shop for all balloon events and activities in the US for those who are interested. There are also charities that take disabled folks for free like the Cream Catcher Balloon non-profit out of Carlsborg, WA at dreamcatcherballoon.org Links: https://www.virginballoonflights.co.uk/blog/how-do-hot-air-balloons-work https://www.nationalballoonmuseum.com/about/history-of-ballooning/ https://seattleballooning.com/how-dangerous-are-hot-air-balloon-rides-low-risk/#:~:text=According%20to%20the%20Aviation%20Accident,air%20ballooning%20is%20even%20safer. https://www.space.com/16595-montgolfiers-first-balloon-flight.html https://napavalleyballoons.com/hot-air-balloon-facts.php https://balloonsgalore.co.uk/blog/ten-strange-facts-about-hot-air-balloons https://blog.gitnux.com/hot-air-balloon-crash-statistics/ https://www.austinmonthly.com/the-deadliest-hot-air-balloon-disaster-in-american-history/ https://www.worldatlas.com/articles/the-deadliest-hot-air-balloon-accidents-ever-recorded.html https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3113771/What-REALLY-happened-doomed-hot-air-balloon-flight-killed-19-passengers-dream-day-turned-carnage.html https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2012_Carterton_hot_air_balloon_crash https://listverse.com/2017/06/16/top-10-horrific-hot-air-balloon-accidents/ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1989_Alice_Springs_hot_air_balloon_crash

Wellington Mayor Tory Whanau joins Nick Mills live on Newstalk ZB Wellington Mornings. Together they discuss the Loafers Lodge fire, public consultation ending for the Golden Mile project, hundreds of jobs likely to be cut at Victoria University of Wellington, and her missing the Wellington Region Mayoral Forum in Carterton. LISTEN ABOVESee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

After 28 days the national state of emergency for Tai Rāwhiti and Hawke's Bay ends on Tuesday morning and the two regions now enter the cyclone recovery phase. They join Northland, Auckland, Waikato, Bay of Plenty, and the Tararua, Masterton, Carterton and South Wairarapa Districts in what's called a national transition period. That means local Civil Defence authorities have the power to clear roads and dispose of dangerous materials. Gisborne mayor Rehette Stoltz spoke to Jane Patterson.  

It's been announced there's to be a Carterton street named after Georgina Breyer who died this week. Kevin Milne thinks this is great, but reckons that more of our landmarks should be re-named after our national heroes.  LISTEN ABOVESee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Tinui community was hard hit by Cyclone Gabrielle and the local school is still operating from playcentre and community hall amid talk of managed retreat. Carterton council has unanimously decided to name a road in a new development 'Georgina Beyer Way' after the former MP and mayor died this week. And Mary has a wrap of local events including the just held Golden Shears.

The world's first transgender politician, Georgina Beyer, has died. Friends of the ground-breaking politician and activist say she died this afternoon after a long illness. Her friends Scotty and Malcolm of Wellington's S and M's Cocktail Bar, say the former Mayor of Carterton, Labour MP, activist, dear friend and rainbow legend, passed away peacefully at Mary Potter Hospice. They say she was surround by her nearest and dearest 24/7 over the past week. She accepted what was happening, was cracking jokes and had a twinkle in her eye, right till the final moments. Prime Minister Chris Hipkins paid tribute to Georgina Beyer a short time ago.

The country's first openly transgender Mayor and MP Georgina Beyer is being remembered as a fearless fighter for rainbow rights whose love and compassion will live on forever. She died yesterday at Mary Potter Hospice after a long illness. She was 65.  Her election as Mayor of Carterton in 1995 and then later as an MP, attracted worldwide attention. The Carterton District Council is flying its flag at half mast today in honour of its former mayor. Ben Strang looks back on her colourful life.  

Georgina Beyer - the world's first openly transgender MP - is being remembered as a "force to be reckoned with". The 65-year-old died this afternoon in hospice care in Wellington. She was elected as Mayor of Carterton in 1995 and entered Parliament for Wairarapa as a Labour MP in 1999. ZB's senior political correspondent Barry Soper says Beyer had a great sense of humour. "Her friends who were with her say that she accepted what was happening and was cracking jokes and had a twinkle in her eye right until the final moments."  LISTEN ABOVE  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Clive Thompson was a curious 16-year-old when he started out growing mushrooms back in the 1960s. More than half a century on, he's now selling his Wairarapa business Parkvale Mushrooms.

Carterton's new mayor says a missing woman believed to be linked to suspicious fires is adding to the community's unease. Police are still looking for 47-year-old Maya Moore in relation to multiple fires in South Wairarapa this morning. Incoming mayor Ron Mark says he was alerted to the fires in the early hours of this morning. He says people living in rural New Zealand might already be isolated and cut off from help, and that incidents like this will only add to people's feelings of insecurity and fear. LISTEN ABOVE  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Three local electorates lie within the Wairarapa region. Despite the close proximity of South Wairarapa, Carterton and Masterton, each community has very different priorities for the upcoming local elections. Reporter Lauren Crimp took a drive up State Highway 2 to see how the mood changes.

At 85 years old, Helen Dew is a sustainability legend in Carterton.

Carterton artist Ngaire Kearney has the steadiest of hands and nerves of steel. She needs them - she etches intricate images into glass and stone, or burns them into wood. Most of her designs are created on objects she finds in second hand shops - glass vases, school desks, even family heirlooms that people bring to her for an artistic makeover. Ngaire trades as "Burnt Offerings" and her work's included in the upcoming Big Wai Art Sale in the Wairarapa, alongside other local artists and some from further afield. Ngaire tells Lynn Freeman she's self taught and started burning wood about 20 years ago. The Big Wai Art Sale starts at the Carterton Event Centre on September 9.

Council bashing is back again...and this time Carterton gets their serve from a local paper See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Criticising our politicians is close to a national pastime, but are you all talk or prepared to put your hand-up for a spot on your council? Local body elections are coming up in a few months, and one council is actively trying to boost the number of contenders. Carterton Council - north of Wellington - has launched a campaign calling for more people to throw their hats in the ring. Council's spokesperson Elisa Brown talks to Lisa Owen.

This weekend, I had the privilege of interviewing Christine Eliseev, who lives in Carterton with her husband, Vlad, and their kids. Vlad’s mum, Lyubov (which means love, aroha, in Russian) is trapped in the Ukraine city of Kharkiv. Lyubov has been bombed out of her apartment and is now staying with friends of friends. Vlad … More Interview with Christine Eliseev

No more throwing the book at those who don't bring back a book on time, for library users in the Wairarapa. Wairarapa Councils are looking to get rid of overdue library fines and wipe existing debts. Carterton has led the charge. Councillor Dale Williams talks to Lisa Owen.  

It's calving season in the dairy sector and many farmers and staff are working huge hours to look after their animals. Country Life is up before the birds with Carterton dairy farmer Jody James to see what it's like.

Big money investors and urbanites are moving into small town New Zealand, snapping up properties and driving rentals to exorbitant prices. The Salvation Army's State of Our Communities Report, which explores life in the towns of Invercargill, Carterton and Tokoroa, lays bare the economic and mental hardship locals are facing. In some regions, rental properties have become so expensive, it's cheaper to pay a mortgage than to rent. Salvation Army social policy analyst Ronji Tanielu spoke to Corin Dann.

A Carterton farmer and his family is on a mission to transform so-called 'dead land' into thriving wetlands. 

Today on the show we're going to visit Carterton for Poo Towns, and give you the latest Betoota News. Plus we hear from a bank robber, and we talk to Neill Fraser, lead singer of the band Villainy. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Prepare to be inspired by the life and barrier shattering work of  Georgina Beyer. This bad bitch went from survival sex worker to radio host and ultimately took her place as the first trans politician in New Zealand (Mayor of Carterton and Wairarapa MP). PLUS, the ladies break down the difference between legalization and decriminalization, read a listener email AND this episode just might make you consider giving massages to the neighborhood moms. With nonsense like the SESTA bill being lauded in the United States, Kaytlin (@kaytlinbailey) and Wendi (@wendibird82) do their best to rally the troops of whores to get their sweet asses in the race for political office and get our voices heard!   Support the show on Patreon   *** EMAIL US: @ theoldestprofessionpodcast@gmail.com  Twitter: @oldpropodcast Instagram: @oldpropodcast   FOLLOW KAYTLIN Twitter: @kaytlinbailey Instagram: @kaytlinbailey   FOLLOW WENDI Twitter: @wendistarling Instagram: @wendibird82  ***  Produced by Mary Kelly Funky One Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/