Podcasts about Craniotomy

AVM Burst in the Brain: A Recovery Story of Patience, Aphasia, and Finding Your Way Back Jennifer Tomscha was 39, driving her three-and-a-half-year-old daughter home from preschool, when an AVM burst in her brain. She felt a wash of dizziness first. Then her vision started collapsing on the right side. She pulled onto a narrow verge on the highway between Greytown and Carterton in New Zealand, tried to reach her husband, got no answer, and dialled 111 instead. When the dispatcher asked what was wrong, she said something she still can’t fully explain: “I think I’m having a stroke.” She didn’t know yet that she had two arteriovenous malformations in her left frontal lobe — one discrete, one diffuse. She didn’t know that within hours she’d be helicoptered to Wellington Hospital for an emergency craniotomy, or that the following Monday a neurosurgeon named Dr. Woon would spend thirty hours trying to remove both malformations from her brain. She just knew something was wrong, and that her daughter was in the back seat, and that she couldn’t keep driving. That moment — pulling over, self-diagnosing, refusing the urge to simply lie down and rest — may be the reason she’s alive. What happens when an AVM bursts in the brain An arteriovenous malformation is a tangle of abnormal blood vessels that connects arteries directly to veins, bypassing the capillary network that normally regulates blood flow. Most people with an AVM never know they have one. But when an AVM bursts in the brain, blood floods into surrounding tissue at high pressure, and the consequences are almost always severe: haemorrhagic stroke, seizures, sudden neurological deficits, and in many cases, death. Jennifer’s first surgery controlled the bleeding. The second, five days later, was supposed to remove both malformations. It didn’t go as planned. The surgical team discovered that blood flow to the first AVM was feeding the second one, causing the brain around it to swell. Dr. Woon had to make an impossible decision in the middle of the operation: let her die, or remove a portion of healthy brain tissue along with the malformation. He chose to keep her alive. The surgery took thirty hours. When it was finally over, he called her husband and said, “Well, you’ll be lucky if she talks.” The six weeks she can’t remember Jennifer has no memories of the first six weeks after her AVM burst. She was in a medically induced coma for the surgery, then in intensive care, then transferred to rehabilitation. Everything she knows about that period has been told to her by other people. When her memory started returning, she found herself in a rehabilitation ward in Masterton, using adult nappies, unable to sit up in bed. The front of her skull had been removed and wouldn’t be replaced for months. She wore a protective helmet whenever she walked. And yet — she insists — she felt fine. [Quote block — mid-article] “I kept saying, ‘I’m okay, I’m fine. You guys should just take it easy around me.’ But of course, I wasn’t really fine.” — Jennifer Tomscha The honest recognition of what had happened to her didn’t come for almost two years. It took that long for her brain to have enough capacity to think about her brain. The myth of the one-year recovery window Most stroke survivors are told, either directly or by implication, that the first year matters most. That after twelve months, improvements slow. That after two years, you’ve plateaued. Jennifer’s experience — and the experience of nearly every long-term survivor interviewed on this podcast — contradicts that narrative. Four years after her AVM burst, she is still discovering what recovery means. Her academic writing, once her profession as the Director of the Writing Program at NYU Shanghai, doesn’t flow the way it used to. She can’t recall songs from memory anymore, or sing the ones she used to sing. Her aphasia shows up most at night, when she’s tired. She still takes an afternoon nap most days. But she’s also finishing a PhD. She can read as well as she ever could. She’s speaking, articulately, in a podcast interview eighty minutes long. And the parts of recovery she thought had stopped improving are, quietly, still improving. What Jennifer wants other survivors to know Her advice, offered near the end of the conversation, is short and unsparing: “You can rest, and that’s okay. You can be as slow as you want to be, and that’s also okay. But don’t give up. Just keep going — at whatever pace feels right.” It’s a rejection of both the productivity culture that tells survivors to push harder and the clinical culture that tells them to accept their limits. Recovery, for Jennifer, isn’t a race against a deadline. It’s a long, patient process of finding out what comes back and learning to live fully with whatever doesn’t. Bill’s book and community If Jennifer’s story resonates with you, Bill Gasiamis’s book — The Unexpected Way That A Stroke Became The Best Thing That Happened To — explores the same territory: the slow, unexpected, sometimes beautiful work of rebuilding a life after a brain event. Get the book here Readers who want to support the podcast and connect with the community of survivors it serves can do so at Patreon. Support on Patreon This blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Please consult your doctor before making any changes to your health or recovery plan. Jennifer Tomscha: An AVM Burst in Her Brain at 39, and the Four-Year Climb Back to Herself She self-diagnosed her own stroke while driving with her daughter. Four years on, she’s still discovering what recovery really means. Highlights: 00:00 Introduction and Background 10:00 Reflections on the Experience 18:00 Long-term Effects and Adaptations 26:45 Identity and Self-Perception Post-Stroke 38:48 The Long Game of Recovery 51:07 The Journey of Recovery 01:03:42 The Evolution of the Podcast Transcript: Introduction and Background: AVM Burst in the Brain Jennifer Tomscha (00:00) Dr. Woon was my neurosurgeon. And he just said, I’ll never do another surgery like that ever again. it was really long. And I think he definitely had made me worse. Like they had taken out. too much of my normal brain. when he called my husband after the surgery was over, Dr. Woon said like, well, you’ll be lucky if she talks. he was just so discouraged from how the AVM surgery went. when I finally talked to him on Zoom. was so you And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course I can. He was like, will you show me? and I walked up and down the room and he was like laughing so hard at my being able to walk. He was like so enthusiastic about it. Bill Gasiamis (00:44) Welcome back everybody. I am Bill Gassiomas and my guest today is Jennifer Tomche. In March, 2022, Jennifer was 39 years old living in New Zealand, finishing the first year of a PhD program when something happened to her brain that changed everything. What followed was a medical emergency unlike anything I’ve heard described on this podcast and a recovery story that quietly dismantles one of the most damaging myths in stroke survivor community. That after a certain point, the window for improvement closes. Jennifer is four years out from what happened to her. She still takes an afternoon nap every day. She still notices the edges of what her brain can and can’t do. And she is also finishing a PhD, raising two children and speaking with a clarity and warmth that will stop you in your tracks. This is a conversation about what it actually means to play the long game and why might be the most important thing any survivor can do. Before we get into it, if this podcast has been part of your recovery journey, I’d love for you to check out my book, The Unexpected Way That a Stroke Became the Best Thing That Happened, at recoveryafterstroke.com/book. And a genuine thank you to everyone supporting this work on Patreon. If you wanted to support the show, you can go to patreon.com/recoveryafterstroke. really helps me keep the conversation going. Let’s get into it. Bill Gasiamis (02:12) Jennifer Tomscha welcome to the podcast. Jennifer Tomscha (02:14) Thank you. I’m glad to be here. Bill Gasiamis (02:17) It’s lovely to have a local with me. Usually all my guests are from the United States or Canada or the United Kingdom. You’re just a hop, skip and a jump away in New Zealand. Jennifer Tomscha (02:20) Yeah. Mm hmm. Yep. Yep. I’m American originally, but we moved here in 2020. So ⁓ we I’m grew up in Iowa. And then and then I after but we were living in Shanghai for us for almost seven years, my husband and I were living in Shanghai and I was teaching at New York University, Shanghai and then when COVID happened in China. Bill Gasiamis (02:35) Where are we from in America? Jennifer Tomscha (02:54) they told us to leave the country because it was where it started. So, and we had two kids, so my husband didn’t want to go back to the United States. And so my sister lives in New Zealand. So we moved here and then we just stayed here. mm-hmm. So, yeah. Bill Gasiamis (03:11) So in China, was it just a request? Was it a directive? What was the situation? Jennifer Tomscha (03:18) From New York University, they said if you weren’t a Chinese national citizen, they strongly urged us to leave because they just didn’t know how they were gonna manage it. everyone, mean, in China, they had had SARS in the early 2000s, so they had already had it. And so right away, everyone had their masks on. They were ready to… go and I was like, I want to get out of here. So we went to New Zealand and they also had a lockdown, but it was just for a month and then everyone could wander around because the virus was not here. we just stayed and I got into this PhD program. So that’s why we’re still in New Zealand. Bill Gasiamis (04:00) Wow. That kind of brings us to the first question I ask most people these days is what was life like before stroke? So there was a little bit of stuff going on. was, work in China. There was a bit of, ⁓ travel from the United States to China. was children, but daily life. What, what was that like before the stroke? Jennifer Tomscha (04:21) When I saw my stroke happened in March of 2022 and at that time I had been in my PhD program for about a year. And I was just finishing up my research proposal. And so I was doing that during the day and my kids were both at, I have an older son who was in second grade year two. And then I have a daughter who was in preschool. And so my days were I dropped them off at their schools and then I would work for a little while. And then I would. go and get them. So, and then they would come home and we would do all the other stuff in parenting. And my husband at that time was working at the library. So he had, he was at the libraries from nine to five every day. So he was at work. And that’s what, that’s what we were doing. Yeah. When I had my stroke. I was busy trying to finish up this research proposal. And then, yeah. Bill Gasiamis (05:14) 39 years old at the time as well. Jennifer Tomscha (05:16) Yes, was 39. Bill Gasiamis (05:18) any signs, any kind of inkling that something was not right. Jennifer Tomscha (05:23) I didn’t, weirdly, so I’m trying to think about, my whole life I’ve had this thing where if, especially at just certain points if I hit my, this is maybe nothing to do with anything, but if I hit my elbow or my wrist, then I would pass out. And sometimes I would have like a little seizure while I was passing out. So wasn’t just like a regular fainting, it was like a seizure. And I had some of those in high school and I actually went to the, hospital for those at one point and I think they didn’t know what that was and they just did an EEG. I don’t even think we had an MRI where I lived. So I didn’t really know and then that sort of passed. But I was feeling when I have a daily journal that I was writing and when I go back and read that daily journal, the whole, for a couple months ahead of time, I was like, I just feel kind of weird. I don’t feel great. I feel like a little bit sick and I don’t know what’s wrong with me. And at that time they were allowing COVID to enter New Zealand. They were putting it in. So I was like, I think I might have COVID, but I took a bunch of tests. They were all negative. And then my stroke happened on Tuesday, but the Friday before I was so sick. And then that weekend I was really sick too. And then I got, like, I kind of felt like I woke up, I felt really nauseous. And then I felt better on Monday and Tuesday. And Tuesday was when my stroke happened. So I think that was all, it was all, think, my body reacting to, I was probably bleeding in my head at that time or something. mm-hmm. Bill Gasiamis (06:57) I got it. And we’re to have to go back and talk about how it was that when you got hit on your, on your wrist and your elbow, how hard was the hit? Jennifer Tomscha (07:05) I don’t know. Not super hard, I just, I don’t know what, I actually don’t know, and maybe it’s nothing to do with it. You know, maybe it’s something else in my body that I am prone to fainting. But I don’t know, I don’t really know why that, and maybe it wasn’t anything like that. But I had one day when I was 16 and I passed out three times and that did seem kind of funny. And I went to the doctor and I passed out while I was at the doctor’s office. So they were like, there’s nothing wrong with you. So they put me to the hospital. They did the EG. stayed the night. And then they were like, there’s nothing wrong with you. So that was it. But I think if nowadays they probably would have done an MRI, maybe, and they would have seen that I had my AVM and my whole life would have been different because I wouldn’t have done all the stuff that I’ve done now. Like my mom was like, if we had known you had had an AVM, you would have gone to school. in Sioux City, you know, or we would have done something to keep you nearby because we would be worried about you. Instead, I was just like, doing whatever I wanted to, which is good. Bill Gasiamis (08:14) Laze, but that’s kind of good. But also I get the preventative thing. One of the, my former guests had a daughter who had an AVM and I think she was five when she passed away from a bleed in the brain because of an AVM. That’s horrific. And one of the, it’s actually worth listening to that episode and it’s worth me interrupting this right now to jump on and find that episode so that I can share it with people. And this particular lady has made it her life’s mission to raise money, get an MRI machine and do preventative scans for people in case they have an AVM or some other undiagnosed neurological condition. I think it’s Gina. Gina Keely. OK, it’s. And her ⁓ foundation is now called the Paige Keeley Foundation, it’s the most heartbreaking story. It’s episode 141 and I’ll have the link in the show notes and I’ll have it in the YouTube description. So for anyone listening, jump back and have a look at that. And also maybe even consider supporting the foundation because the story is heartbreaking and the efforts that this lady is going to ensure that this doesn’t happen to other people is just amazing. So. I wanted to, I raised that because I had a, in 2011, no, no, in 2010, about 18 months before my actual AVM bled, I had a really terrible negative episode, nauseous, room spinning, like all the signs of stroke, but completely missed the, completely missed Jennifer Tomscha (09:47) Mm. Bill Gasiamis (09:55) the AVM when I went and actually had an MRI. So yeah, I went to the hospital, gave them my, rundown of what was happening to me and they were so switched on and they got me in and they did all the tests, but they didn’t find anything because they didn’t know what they were looking for. And there was no obvious sign of bleeding. So they didn’t dig deeper. And I have a friend of mine who is a radiographer who actually did my MRIs Jennifer Tomscha (09:58) ⁓ really? Mm. Reflections on the Experience Bill Gasiamis (10:22) when I was in hospital being treated after my AVM burst in 2012. And he said to me, the preventative stuff is very difficult because if you don’t specifically know what you’re testing for, you don’t know how to set up the machine and how many slices that it needs to take and at what resolution. So that when you deliver that to the radiologist and they’re looking at it, can they see an AVM and then pass that on? Jennifer Tomscha (10:37) Mmm Bill Gasiamis (10:49) that information onto the neurologist. They might even miss it, even though they’re doing MRI. But what Jena is doing, it sounds like they’re specifically going after aneurysms, AVMs, other malformations, and therefore they have kind of this better opportunity to find it. So if somebody is considering getting a preventative scan of their brain, you have to be very specific. Jennifer Tomscha (10:53) Bye. Bill Gasiamis (11:14) with the team of doctors, radiographers, neurologists, as to what you want them to look for and make sure that they adjust the scan so that it’s fit for purpose. Jennifer Tomscha (11:25) That’s interesting. That’s really interesting. Bill Gasiamis (11:26) Yeah. So what was the day of the stroke like? Was it, you said you’re feeling better on that Tuesday. Jennifer Tomscha (11:34) Mm-hmm. I had a good day. I have like lots of notes from my research proposal and I went to pick up. I don’t know why I did it this way actually. I went, my daughter’s preschool is in our town, Greytown, and I went and picked up her first and then I went to get my son. His school is a Montessori school. It’s in one town north. And so I went and got her and we were driving in the car and when I turned onto the highway that connects Greytown and Carterton, I just felt like a wash of dizziness and I started losing sight, I think, in my right eye. And it’s seven kilometers from Graytown to Carterton. And right before we got into Carterton, I pulled over onto the side of the highway. I tried, so by that time I think I had lost most of the sight in my one, my right eye. And so it wasn’t very long actually. And so I tried to call my husband, he didn’t answer. And then I just called 111 and I was like, I don’t know why I was like, I think I’m having a stroke, but I don’t know why I even thought that actually. Do know what I mean? I just, was like, something is wrong with me. And so my daughter was fussing in the back and, I don’t really remember anything after that. I don’t remember the paramedics coming. I don’t remember talking to anyone. but so when they, I think the police came first and then Then the paramedics came and they said I was nauseous, but talking a little bit. But then they moved me into the ambulance and, I started, choking and, or something, and they had to intubate me in the ambulance. And then they took me in. I was helicoptered off to Wellington hospital. So. Bill Gasiamis (13:12) How did you feel about it? I know you did the right things. You nailed it. But how did you feel? What were you thinking? I was completely oblivious to the risk I was at or in. Jennifer Tomscha (13:14) Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I don’t know. just, let’s see, I think… I think when I was losing my vision, that was hard. I mean, I’m really lucky. There was a little ⁓ path on the side of the road right before you enter Carterton. So I pulled over there so I could still control the car. You know what I mean? I wasn’t so bad. And I could dial 111 on my phone. I could still think about those things. But it wasn’t very long after I dialed 111 and talked to those people that I’d that my memory is gone. So I think, I mean, I have spent a lot of time trying to like go back and figure out like, what was it? What could I have done early? know, like I was really lucky I was in the car, because honestly, because if I was at home, I might’ve like laid down and taken a nap and not called anybody actually, or called Dan and half have not answered. So then I could just see myself. Bill Gasiamis (14:14) you Jennifer Tomscha (14:22) It was actually really lucky that I was in the car with my daughter because it made me, I mean, I couldn’t keep driving very well. And so it made me pull over and it made me, I’d have to do something because I wasn’t in town. So I had to like figure out how I was going to manage the situation. And so I was really lucky actually that I was in the car and that I was in a public space where I was easy to find and like I could, so I felt like really lucky that all that happened. in that time period, but also that soul that my daughter was with me because it made me, I had this like parental responsibility that I had to, I couldn’t keep driving with her in the car. Like I just, I knew I had to do something and quickly. I feel like, I feel really lucky that that was the situation that I was in because I could see a different day where I didn’t go get the kids at that time. And I maybe would have tried to take a nap and it would have been totally different. So you know what I mean. Bill Gasiamis (15:19) It’s such a common thing for people to go, oh, I’m not feeling well. I think I’ll just go lay down and have a rest and see if I can just get over it, sleep through it or whatever. yeah. And then it just leads to even more and more trouble or problems. The fact that you said, I think I’m having a stroke, right? That is so cool and bizarre and amazing. Jennifer Tomscha (15:29) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. The guy was like, why? And I was like, well, I’m losing my sight. I was like, I mean, I don’t know how it was. I was like, why do you think you’re having a stroke? I was like, I don’t know. But there was something wrong. You know what I mean. Bill Gasiamis (15:52) Yeah, that’s such a good question for me. Why do you think I’m going to strike? I don’t know, but I just came up with it. What? That was enough though. Like that was such a response from you to say, I think I’m having a stroke. It’s very, very rare that people get there, but the fact that you got there kind of gave, gave them also like an understanding of how to attend the site and what to do. Jennifer Tomscha (16:01) Mm. Bill Gasiamis (16:18) And that saves time as well. That saves a ton of time. Jennifer Tomscha (16:21) Right. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Bill Gasiamis (16:23) and gets them, even though you may have been wrong, right? Gets them looking in the direction because they’re already got that in their mind. And then, well, let’s look at that first and then let’s suss it out. She might be completely wrong. But I walked into the hospital after my, while I was having the third blade and said, I’m having a brain hemorrhage or something like that. And I was in the hospital upright, standing, looking normal and Jennifer Tomscha (16:27) Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that’s true. That’s ⁓ Mm-hmm. Bill Gasiamis (16:51) They were looking at me like, okay, what are you on? This guy, this guy must be on something because it doesn’t look like he’s having a stroke. And then I had to try and convince them, but I wasn’t giving them my contact details. So they weren’t able to bring up my record. And all they were saying was just give us your name, give us your name. We’ll put it in the system. We’ll have a look. And eventually they got it out of me and, ⁓ and I was right. But yeah, such a good thing. Jennifer Tomscha (16:54) Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, uh-huh. no. Hmm. you Bill Gasiamis (17:21) I love those little bits and pieces that go well together because you often hear I often hear the bits and pieces that didn’t go well and and it turned out differently and how old was your daughter at the time? Yeah, wow. Jennifer Tomscha (17:30) Mm-hmm. She was three and a half. And so she was still in the backseat, know, backwards in her car seat. And then we stopped and she was like, why are we stopping or whatever in her three and a half year old voice? And I was like, I just had to make a couple of phone, you know, I don’t know what I said to her. And then I think when the police came, she was asleep. Like she fell asleep back in the car. then, and then. It’s just, I, I’ll, so then for the next six weeks I don’t have any memories of anything. So all, all of the information has been given to me by other people. But, so, yeah. Long-term Effects and Adaptations Bill Gasiamis (18:04) So was quite a large blade after all of that. Jennifer Tomscha (18:06) Yeah, it was large. They took me, so I flew in the helicopter from Masterton to Wellington and I think they, by then my sister had gotten to the hospital and they, yeah, I think they said, yeah, they did an emergency, is it craniac? Or what’s the? Bill Gasiamis (18:25) Craniotomy, Jennifer Tomscha (18:26) Yeah, they did an emergency cradionomy and they saw that I was bleeding. And then they saw that I had this large left frontal or frontal lobe AVM. So, and then they said that at that moment they couldn’t tackle that AVM. So they, controlled the bleeding and then they, and they left my skull out and then, yeah. And then, then they, they talked to the neurosurgeon and He, that was a Tuesday and he said, why don’t you, I was in a coma, just keep her in a medical coma. And then Monday they would do the, the, the surgery to get rid of the AVM. Bill Gasiamis (19:05) And then that surgery happened. Jennifer Tomscha (19:07) That happened and it was, had my, actually had two AVMs. One was really discreet and they could see all the endings of it. And the other one was diffuse. I don’t really understand it, but, the neurosurgeon said there was like parts of regular brain in and around the AVM. I don’t really understand how that happens, but, ⁓ so they started in the morning and they did, they got rid of the one AVM. They were taking it out. And then something about the blood vessels that had some of they had been putting blood into that AVM. They then started feeding into the other AVM. So then that AVM made my brain sort of swell where that AVM was. And so the neurosurgeons had to decide if, mean, basically it was like, let me die. because they couldn’t do anything about it, or they would get rid of that AVM and they would just take out the brain that was, the normal brain that was in the regular AVM. So they took, they decided not to let me die, thank goodness, and they decided to do that. so, but it was really long surgery, it was 30 hours, I think they just didn’t, yeah, it was really long. And… And I think Dr. Woon was my neurosurgeon. And he just said, when he went and sewed my head back together, he didn’t think I was listening, but I was in the other room and I could hear him after I had my skull put back in. And he was like, I’ll never do another surgery like that ever again. it was too, it was really long. And I think he definitely thought that he had made me worse. Like they had taken out. too much of my normal brain. when he called my husband after the surgery was over, like they didn’t call him. Dan, my husband was waiting for the whole 30 hours and they only called him one time at like 11 o’clock that night. And they were like, we’re finishing up. But then they had all this other stuff happen. So they didn’t actually call him again until noon the next day. And Dr. Woon said like, well, you’ll be lucky if she talks. Because we had to take out. he was just so discouraged from how the AVM surgery went. And so, yeah. Bill Gasiamis (21:24) Dr. Woon needs to give himself way more credit. Jennifer Tomscha (21:27) I know, I know, I also think that. I also think that, I mean, it’s, I mean, neurosurgeons, they’re, it’s amazing that you could, I’ve just, it’d be so weird if your job was to cut people up and go into their brains and try and fix something in that organ, which is so mysterious, do you know? Like, yeah, so. Bill Gasiamis (21:48) Wow. 30 hours. So he also is thinking in his career, he’s probably never going to come across another 30 hour surgery. Yeah. Well, only if it’s necessary to make somebody better, but yeah, we definitely want to avoid that if we can for every human on the planet and for Dr. Woon, but I just, I’m just completely in awe of these people. I bumped into my surgeon last year. Jennifer Tomscha (21:57) I hope not. mean, I hope, you know, yeah, I don’t think, yeah. Right. Mm-hmm. Bill Gasiamis (22:15) because I had another MRI, because I had another bout of headaches and all that kind of stuff. still, you know, it hasn’t ended. I still go through all these things. And I mean, I mean kind of, I get emotional when I’m around her and when I’m in the room with her. If she told me to jump off a cliff because there is something positive down there and I would do it. If she said, if she said punch a hole through that wall, I would do it. Like I would do whatever she said because Jennifer Tomscha (22:20) no. Yes. Yeah. Bill Gasiamis (22:44) I just cannot get over the, know, when, you know, when you make a decision, some people, my phone is weird. I’ve never done this before, but you have a piece of fabric and it’s got some lines on it. And you know, if you cut it wrong, that you can’t use that piece of fabric for that pair of trousers anymore. You’ve got to use it for something else. Like that’s a pretty mild problem to happen. Like you cut wrong, you go in the wrong place. You pop that aside and. You’re useful. If you do that to a human, there’s no going back. And you’ve got to make that decision every single time you walk into the operating theater. And imagine his family. Like, I feel like we need to reach out to his family and say, is there anything we need to make up for? I know we had your husband for 30 hours, but like, how can we support your family now that he’s done that for my family? Jennifer Tomscha (23:40) Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bill Gasiamis (23:40) Do you know, like it’s so interesting that these people have been able to get to that level of capability. Jennifer Tomscha (23:49) Yes. Bill Gasiamis (23:50) with humans and helping people stay alive and be here with their family, be a mom, be a wife, be a daughter, be a member of the community. Jennifer Tomscha (23:51) Mm-hmm. Yep. Yep, exactly. It’s just, it’s amazing. It’s just so, and I’m so grateful to him and he had another neurosurgeon working with him and yeah, it did, I mean, yeah, it’s amazing. I always think though, I’m trying to think about like, did, why, if he cut out those parts of my brain, why weren’t they, why? I mean, I have some things I can’t do that I could do before. Like I can’t, this is so weird. I can’t recall songs very well and I can’t sing songs from memory, like at all. Like that part of my brain is done, which is fine, but I used to sing a lot. but I think because if the AVM is there when you’re in your, if it’s there when you’re in your mom’s womb, like if you’re, when you’re developing. It’s probable that my brain was like, there’s a little issue here in this brain. We’ll move some of the stuff away from, don’t you think that would be, yeah, because I just think like, I think where my AVMs were, my brain was like, we’re gonna move, we’re not gonna put stuff by those AVMs because yeah, because your brain is really adaptable. Like that’s one of the things that I’ve been reading since I had my stroke. Bill Gasiamis (24:59) Wow. Yeah, I’ve never thought about that. Why not? That makes sense, Jennifer. Because it’s… Yeah. Jennifer Tomscha (25:18) My mom’s like, your brain is so adaptable and flexible and it can do different things. You just have to try doing things, you know, and failing. Bill Gasiamis (25:26) And the blood flow is not right. So you imagine with blood flow not being right, then the brain’s not developing correctly in that spot anyway. And it’s just developing where there is blood flow. Jennifer Tomscha (25:37) Yes, exactly. Exactly. I just I feel like that makes sense to me. And that’s why if you’re the neurosurgeon, I mean, you really don’t know. Like Dr. Woon didn’t know what was there. But I just feel like maybe my brain when it was developing was like, well, this isn’t a good spot and this other spot isn’t a good spot. So we’ll just do everything in a different place. And the brain is really you can really do that. I think your brains are really plastic in the way that they can order themselves. And so I So it’s still all Dr. Woon. I’m just so grateful to him and everything that he did. Because honestly, I feel like I come from the States. I don’t know that a neurosurgeon, I just don’t know how long a neurosurgeon would have, they might be like, I’m done, I can’t do this anymore. I just don’t really know. It just all depends on the doctor and who sees you and everything. So I just felt so lucky to have been here. Bill Gasiamis (26:30) Imagine doing a 30 hour shift on any day for anything. Jennifer Tomscha (26:34) No. And the thing about neurosurgery is like you’re in, I mean you’re doing like, you’re in a microscope or whatever doing that little and you’re tying off a little blood vein and I don’t know, it’s nuts, it’s so nuts. mm-hmm. Bill Gasiamis (26:39) them. Identity and Self-Perception Post-Stroke Yeah. And they talk about, you know, how dangerous it is to drive when you’re off a take when you haven’t slept, when all those things. And these guys are going for 30 hours and they’re doing the most intricate, life altering surgery and it all goes perfectly well. So how wrapped was he when he realized how well it went. Jennifer Tomscha (27:09) I didn’t talk to him until June, so that was at the end of March. And then I was in the ICU for a while. then they moved me to Masterton and I did rehab. And then I went to this last clinic, this ABI, this brain clinic for people who had brain injuries. And that’s when I finally talked to him on Zoom. And he was like, so can you walk? And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course I can. He was like, will you show me? and I walked up and down the room and he was like laughing so hard at my being able to walk. He was like so enthusiastic about it. I was, you know, I mean, we can talk about this too. was, everyone was like, when I finally have my memory back, I was in Masterton and I was using a diaper. I couldn’t walk. I couldn’t step in bed, but I remember being, actually, ⁓ I remember being like, I’m fine. I’m fine. Everyone is just fussing over me. But of course, they were right too. Do you know what I mean? But I was like, I’m okay. Everyone needs to just like, let me just relax around me. And everyone was like, everything I did, they would be like, you know, I couldn’t feed myself. And then, you know, there’s all this stuff. And I was like, I’m really okay. You guys should just. take, like, I’m fine. I kept saying that, like, I’m okay, I’m fine. You guys are all. But of course, I wasn’t really fine, but I felt like, Bill Gasiamis (28:36) It sounds like you weren’t physically there yet, but you were emotionally and mentally fine. Like it sounds like you were on the, you kind of knew that things were going to turn out or. Jennifer Tomscha (28:48) I think so. I think, or maybe, I always think like maybe you can only manage so much. like at that time I had my front part of my skull was gone because it had been taken out when they did both my surgeries. And so I had to wear like a rugby helmet or whatever when I walked. But otherwise I would sit in my room and it looked terrible. It’s just so terrible. but I just didn’t really recognize that. Like I didn’t, wasn’t, I couldn’t do all the things at once. So I think I was just thinking about like, and finally at the middle of May, my mom and sister, I still had my like long hair in the back and short in the front. So my sister was gonna cut the long hair in the back. And I saw myself in a mirror and I was like, that doesn’t look very good. You know, like I wasn’t, I don’t feel like I was totally aware. I wasn’t, my brain wasn’t. totally back in it. It’s a long time to recover and I feel like my brain only gave me, I don’t know, I felt like I couldn’t think about my own brain, maybe for like a year or something, really think about it in a second order way. Bill Gasiamis (29:59) allow yourself to kind of observe your state, your brain condition. Jennifer Tomscha (30:02) Yes. Yes, I think I was like, it was like that my it was like maybe in October of the next year, October of 2023, where I was like, Oh, I can think about my brain and what it is in a way that I couldn’t. Because I don’t know, you have to go through, you just have to relearn a lot of stuff. But I didn’t like I’m lucky, like, it didn’t affect my reading, so I could read right away. I’m not a very good writer, like, I don’t have good handwriting anyway, and my handwriting still maybe isn’t as good as it was before I had my stroke, but, yeah. I feel like, felt like, the actual healing was a longer process than I thought it was going to be, especially right when I first woke up, because I was like, I’m fine, but I wasn’t really fine, actually. Do you know what I mean? Bill Gasiamis (30:55) 100%, they can make doctors and neurosurgeons do a 30 hour surgery, find that part, fix it, ta-da-da-da-da, do all those things, but they can’t make a helmet for God’s sake look half decent after they’ve taken your skull out. Like as if it’s bad enough, have skull missing and then they put this terrible looking thing over your head. Jennifer Tomscha (31:11) No. It’s true. It’s true. It’s true. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. Bill Gasiamis (31:22) And I know for women like hair is a big deal and become. Jennifer Tomscha (31:27) It was really, I have always liked my hair and it was, I had short hair for about a year and a half maybe, you know, and I started growing out more and that was a little bit hard. I felt like that’s really vain, but I was like, man, I just did not like that short hair. Cause it’s not very, I don’t know. I just, wanted my old hair back. So I was lucky that it came back though. You know, everything, it’s not cancer. It’s a different thing. So you have a different, you know. Bill Gasiamis (31:51) I never would have told you that your hair didn’t look good, but my favorite hair is brunette curly hair. Yeah. My wife is a brunette naturally and she has curls in her hair and she straightens it all the time. I haven’t seen her brunette curly hair for 30 years. Jennifer Tomscha (31:57) Thank you. ⁓ yeah. no. Bill Gasiamis (32:13) I’m like, woman, that’s what I like. Like that’s my thing. you stop straightening your hair, but I can’t get it to stop. ⁓ Jennifer Tomscha (32:20) Yeah, that’s fine. Everyone has to do what they want with their hair and everything. you know, that’s something that one thing I think about my stroke is you just got to go live your life. Like you can’t and you’ve done that beautifully. You know what I mean? Like this podcast is amazing. it’s just like, you just got to go do what feels good for you at the time and what you want to do and just do it. and stop saying no, or you know what I mean. Bill Gasiamis (32:49) I’m trying. am. know exactly what you mean. One of the biggest things is identity is a big, big thing. And I don’t talk about me so much. I’ll talk about what happened to me, my stroke journey, but I don’t really give people a look behind the curtain. You know, sort of really understand what’s going on. This is just all a facade. And one of the challenges that I have is this painting company that I started 20 years ago was the main source of income. And it stopped abruptly seven years in when I became. Jennifer Tomscha (33:02) Hmm. Mm-hmm. Great. Bill Gasiamis (33:17) and it sort of still kept bubbling along. And then I got back to it in 2019 because my clients were still calling me and I was well enough after seven years of going through stroke and all the stuff of surgery, learning to walk again and all that. I was good enough to sort of get back into it. And of course in 2019, I only had six months and then we were in lockdown. And then in lockdown, we had two years of lockdown in Melbourne, and then I’m trying to keep that thing going again. And then there was this massive influx of work after lockdown because everyone’s going, I’ve been looking at these walls for two years. They look terrible. Let’s get them painted. They had spare money because they hadn’t spent anything for two years. And that was like, let’s do this and let’s do that. And there was this massive amount of work for about 18 months. And then that was done. It was gone. And it’s been a steady decline since as soon as Trump opened his mouth and did something in Iran and said what he said, and he plummeted like we’ve got no work. And I’m okay to have no work because I’ve been there before and we’ve managed our affairs so that we’re okay. But I can’t employ people right now at all. That’s gone. And getting people back and starting that again is going to be extremely difficult because the curve Jennifer Tomscha (34:27) Yeah. Mmm. Hmm. Bill Gasiamis (34:36) is not it’s not going to be a sharp dip and then it’s going to be a big spike of work and demand and all that kind of stuff. this podcast has been my saving grace every time I’ve needed to occupy myself with a project and make it so that I’m not thinking about me. The podcast was there. I did. I did an interview. It got me over the line. But now the biggest void that’s going to occur is not that I’m going to Jennifer Tomscha (34:47) Mm-hmm. Bill Gasiamis (35:05) potentially not have work in this field and after shut it down, which is gonna be fine if I do that, I’m okay with that. I’ll kind of pass it on to my younger son who’s looking to do some work in a similar space. I’ll give him the phone number and he’ll be able to take those types of inquiries and then he’ll do it on his own, like very small, the way I started at the beginning. And is that I’m gonna have all the time in the world. Jennifer Tomscha (35:23) Mm. Bill Gasiamis (35:29) on my hands to do the thing that I’ve been avoiding doing because I had this business that relied on me and the thing was to do public speaking. Right. And to actually do it the way that I’ve wanted to do it for more than a decade, which was to talk about the topics that I want to talk about, which no one’s talking about post-traumatic growth, overcoming trauma, how that’s applicable in organizations. Jennifer Tomscha (35:38) yeah, yeah, Mmm. Bill Gasiamis (35:56) how to treat people better in an organization so they have less mental health issues, so they have less physical issues, so they’re sick less, so they enjoy their work, so they’re not hating their life. And now I’m going to have all the time in the world to do it. And I’m shitting myself. That’s the biggest issue, right? So that’s a little bit of a look behind the curtain. I am loving this. This is an amazing thing. And I do remember when I first started it, I was concerned about what people would say about me. You’re going to sound dumb, Bill. You you’re not going to, you know, what authority do you have? All those kinds of things, they were coming up in my head. And then when I wrote the book, the same thing, I wrote my first book, The Unexpected Way That a Strike Became the Best Thing That Happened to Me. Everyone has said, don’t write that book. Don’t write that. Jennifer Tomscha (36:27) Mm. Bill Gasiamis (36:39) Don’t let that be your title. It’s bizarre, it’s weird, like it’s strange, it’s too long and all these things. So I did it. And of course, the first time I spoke about it on YouTube, one of the first comments was a negative comment on my YouTube channel. It’s like, ⁓ okay. My God, that’s a kick in the guts. Jennifer Tomscha (36:44) really? ⁓ yeah. Bill Gasiamis (37:03) So those little kicks in the guts that I’ve had along the way have been few and far between, but they’re the ones that seem to persist the most. And they stay in that part of your head, which says, you know, that public speaking gig, you’re probably going to do the first one and they’re going to say you were terrible. And then you’re to feel all sad at 52 about, you know, yourself and all these things. Jennifer Tomscha (37:15) Yeah. you Bill Gasiamis (37:29) how you’re going to overcome that emotionally and mentally and all this kind of stuff. It’s like, Bill, relax. You’re gonna have time to build your new career at 52. You’re gonna have time to do it. So that’s like, all right. I find myself getting pushed into a corner and only then responding with, all right, all right, I better step up again. I better do this again. Jennifer Tomscha (37:33) Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Bill Gasiamis (37:58) Very strange, re-imagining yourself and recreating yourself after stroke is a huge thing because you’re also doing it with a stroke brain. Whereas before I had no excuses, I was doing it still. Like the pattern is the same. The stroke brain part of it is an obstacle that I wish I didn’t have, but somehow this stroke brain part has made me do things I’ve never done before. Jennifer Tomscha (38:14) You The Long Game of Recovery Bill Gasiamis (38:27) a podcast, a book. You know, I was a tradie. I was like, I didn’t study. didn’t read. In my, by the time I got to the age of 37, honestly, Jennifer, I reckon I’d read maybe seven books. And they were about this criminal underworld figure in Melbourne who had this, who had this career and of being like really terrible and somehow. He was the thing that I was interested in reading about. Like that’s the only thing that captured my imagination. Everything else, everything else I picked up from listening to podcasts or watching shows on TV and that kind of stuff. So I wanna just, I wanna make people understand that the battles that you’re fighting, I’m fighting, it’s real. Like you’re not doing it alone. Everyone’s fighting this. How do I reimagine myself? Jennifer Tomscha (38:56) Bye! Bill Gasiamis (39:20) after stroke, you know, I don’t tell people I’m an author. Still, this book has been out for three years. I’ve had amazing reviews. I’ve had a couple of, you know, negative reviews and that’s okay. I’m not, I’m not an intellectual. I haven’t, I’ve never studied how to write literature, any of that stuff. And it’s sold about seven or 800 copies just through the podcast. Jennifer Tomscha (39:21) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. That’s pretty good. That’s actually quite a bit, I feel like. It’s quite a bit, actually. Mm-hmm. Bill Gasiamis (39:47) I feel like to like I don’t promote it. I don’t tell anyone about it just in the podcast. And it’s like, I still don’t say I’ve authored a book. Nobody knows. Jennifer Tomscha (39:56) You should say it. mean, I do think the what are you going to do after you have a stroke? How are you going to do it? It’s all very strange and scary, I think. And like, yeah, I, I totally get your feeling about it. And it’s just really tricky to know what is the You know, for me, I feel like I was in middle of my PhD, so I took 22 months or 20 months off of doing the PhD just to rest. And then I went back in and it was, it is still, it was really hard. I like, wasn’t very good at figuring out how to write in the academic way. Which was my position. I was director of the writing program at NYU Shanghai. So I was like, that was my thing. And it was very hard to figure out how to return to do the critical work of my thesis. was just, it’s just, I don’t know, my brain just couldn’t figure out how to do it right. It was really interesting. was like, the sentences I was writing weren’t as good. They probably still aren’t as good. You know, like when I look at what I was writing before I had my stroke, which is part of my thesis, and then the stuff I wrote after my stroke, I feel like I can tell a little bit of a difference in the fluency of my writing, for sure. So, yeah. And I just, so… Yeah, I don’t know. It’s tricky. It’s tricky to figure out. But I was really lucky, actually. I think the PhD was helpful because… I could just go at it on my own time and I could just take however much time I needed. And I, I had a deadline. but it was good to just, it was actually like a really good place to start to work my brain again, to be like, okay, I have to, I’m going to write on this author and what she thinks about character. And I’m just going to, and I have these other texts that I’m interested in and I have to figure out how I’m going to. Represent them in my own work. And so it was really good to do all that. It was a good stepping stone for me I think actually to get back into it and to see What I could and couldn’t do very well, like I feel like I’m a really good reader. I’m a really good Critic and I’m not so good at ⁓ writing down what I think anymore as well So I’m just I really have to work on and I don’t know how you get it back like Bill Gasiamis (42:26) articulating Jennifer Tomscha (42:28) Yeah, articulating what I mean and yeah, I feel like I can’t, I can’t say things as artfully or as proficiently as I used to. So I don’t know, this woman who is getting her PhD at Vic too, she’s like, she studies how people learn to read. And she was like, if you’re having problems with academic writing, you should get a, and I still haven’t done this, you should get an academic book and you should listen to it because a lot of learning to read is listening to how sentences sound. She was like, so you should listen to an academic book and that will help you think about how those sentences work and how they’re maybe different from like, I write fiction. So fiction is one thing and then this is a different way of writing. So she said that was one thing that she thought I should do to help. develop my proficiency in academic writing, which was really interesting. So. Bill Gasiamis (43:25) Yeah, it’s a different approach. You know, it’s coming from the auditory, you know, system and therefore the auditory digital system. Therefore you go in and you you, you pick up nuances that you wouldn’t have known were there if you’ve never heard an academic speak or if you’ve never read an academic document in that way. So you might read it. Jennifer Tomscha (43:28) Mm-hmm. Yeah. Bill Gasiamis (43:51) to get something out of it. Like, okay, what is this academic saying about this topic? But that’s not paying attention to the structure of how it’s written. That’s a different filter. Jennifer Tomscha (43:55) Mm-hmm. No, exactly. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Exactly. So I thought that was an interesting way to think about, like, how I could get better at that thing. That was, like, a really important thing for me. That, for some reason, it did just get a little bit, I don’t know, stunted? Or I don’t know what happened, you know? Or I just haven’t been in academia as much. So you know what I mean? So, yeah. Bill Gasiamis (44:17) Yeah. Yeah, 100%. The skill is not as refined or, or practiced as your other skills. So it’s not the thing that you’re the best at. and you’re getting better at it. The thing about it is also, may I add you’re only four years out from all the drama that you had with your brain. So there’s a lot of healing to happen that is going to improve. That’s going to get better and better. And in four or five years from now, you will have Jennifer Tomscha (44:29) Mm-hmm. Bill Gasiamis (44:49) turn the corner again, you’ll see that there’s more and more improvement. It’s really important for people to hear this, who are three, two, one, five, six years in, there’s still heaps of healing and recovery to come. So it’ll happen. Jennifer Tomscha (45:07) Yeah, that was something that my husband and I, in my first year after my stroke, he would be like, go to the gym. And he did. He, I went to the gym and I, had me lift weights and he wanted me to like exercise. And he was like, what are you doing to improve your mind and your body over this first year? And I was like, I’m, I’m again, I was like, I’m fine. I’m really fine. And, and, ⁓ he thought I wasn’t doing enough. Like he wanted me to just go at it with this intensity. I don’t know. was an, cause I was like, I am going at it with my own sort of intensity, but he wanted me to be more aggressive than I wanted to or something. You know what I mean? He wanted me to be like, he wanted to see me really working at it and like sweating or doing, you know what I mean? And I was like, I don’t wanna, I don’t know. Bill Gasiamis (45:59) He wanted it to be more masculine. Jennifer Tomscha (46:01) Yeah, I guess. And he’s not very masculine guy. I mean, he’s a masculine guy, but he’s like, he was just he just wanted to see me sweating it out or doing the really see my focus. And I just yeah. And that has been an issue because he’s like, yeah, he’s just like, are you going to work again? I was like, yes, I’ll work. I just don’t know what I’ll do. And I don’t know if I could do a full eight hour day right now. I still take a nap every day in the afternoon. So But yeah, it’s just, don’t, yeah, so. Bill Gasiamis (46:34) It’s easy for a caregiver to say that because they haven’t had a stroke. Thank God. Thank God. ⁓ Jennifer Tomscha (46:40) No, I know. Thank goodness. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Actually, I mean, I feel really bad for Dan and my mom and my sister. Like, it’s actually worse to be the caregiver in some ways because you just, you don’t go through it. So you, you don’t really know what it’s like. Bill Gasiamis (46:55) I and you, and if you’ve got an imagination, a wild imagination, you could turn it into something completely way worse than what it is. And if you’re ignorant, which most family members and caregivers are, let’s face it. And that’s okay. Then you do the other thing. You play it down and you assume she should be going harder than that or Jennifer Tomscha (47:11) Yeah. Mm-hmm. Bill Gasiamis (47:19) If I was, if it was me, I’d be doing that. But your brain has actually been injured and in that space, perhaps where motivation is for some people. And there is no way that you can make that person more motivated by willing them on or telling them to go to the gym or whatever. That could actually be missing the motivation part. So there’s a whole bunch of things that caregivers and family members miss. And it’s for me, it’s when I’m surrounded, when, when the people that are around me are Jennifer Tomscha (47:33) Mm-hmm. Bill Gasiamis (47:46) ⁓ people who don’t want to engage deeply in those types of troubles, life and all that kind of stuff. they’re great people. They’re just like, emotionally they don’t go deep, right? They love it that there’s ambiguity around like what’s wrong with me. Cause they look at me, I look right. And then they just go, everything’s fine. He looks amazing. I feel better now. And when I’m around him, I can just talk about dumb stuff. Jennifer Tomscha (48:07) Mmm, yeah, yeah. Bill Gasiamis (48:14) And we can talk about things that are not important and everything’s fine. And it’s kind of like head in the sand. It’s a, you know, one step, one emotional step removed from the actual goings on. And it kind of also helps me strangely enough, because then I don’t have to deal with their inability to handle actual life and the real things that are going on. Jennifer Tomscha (48:39) Mm. Yeah. Bill Gasiamis (48:43) that can just be living in La La Land and I don’t have to deal with that level of complexity. So it’s kind of, they’re both situations are helping me in a way. Whereas at the beginning I was taking that negatively. The thing I do, the thing I would like to do is challenge caregivers to listen to the podcast, especially of the spouse who I’ve interviewed. Jennifer Tomscha (48:50) Yeah. Yeah, that’s true. Bill Gasiamis (49:09) You know, and then a couple more after that to get an insight so that they’re not guessing or second guessing or think they know better, et cetera. No doubt about it. they, know, they know some things about us that they can see that we’re not doing a pattern in behavior that we’re avoiding. Perhaps they know that part and all that type of thing. But we’ll say, we’re also dealing with a messed up brain. So have a bit of a kind of a Q Jennifer Tomscha (49:13) Hmm. Right, right. Bill Gasiamis (49:36) be curious about where that person’s coming from, not how you’re feeling about where they’re coming from. And that’s what family members and caregivers do. They make it about them. And I had to say a few times to people in my circles, like, it’s not about you. Jennifer Tomscha (49:43) Right. Ha Tomscha Tomscha! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Bill Gasiamis (49:56) It’s actually really about me. cannot walk and I can’t use my left hand. It’s not about you. Like I know you woke up with a numb leg one day because you slept on it wrong, but it’s not the same. Jennifer Tomscha (50:05) Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That’s funny. Yeah. Bill Gasiamis (50:14) My wife was dragging my foot in the wheelchair. It had fallen off the, you know, the rest where your leg, your feet sit. It had fallen off and I hadn’t noticed. This is like day three or day four after brain surgery. And it was dragging underneath the footrest. And she noticed that the wheelchair wasn’t moving and she was shoving it until we realized. Jennifer Tomscha (50:22) higher. Bill Gasiamis (50:40) My foot was stuck underneath the rest and we had a laugh. that kind of like, that’s one of those, if those people were there and they saw that, they would realize like, it’s not about your numb leg when you slept on it weird one night. take your stuff and just, you know, park it for now. So it’s interesting. That’s kind of why I think I do this podcast. I think it’s for those Jennifer Tomscha (50:44) Yeah, yeah, Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. The Journey of Recovery Bill Gasiamis (51:08) people if they, I’ve never told them that they should jump on, but if they, for example, get curious one day and they want to know what it’s like to be in Bill’s head, pick one of the 400 episodes. Just have a listen. Jennifer Tomscha (51:09) Mmm. I have a question for you. you, this is something that, so you think you could just, you can keep improving from your stroke. There’s not like a deadline. There’s not like a couple of years or any. Bill Gasiamis (51:36) One of the things I learned from my wife and my brother, my brother is my biggest nemesis. You he’s older and he’s the most loving guy. He’s the most supportive guy, but he has a weird way of doing it. Just, you know, we’re different characters, right? So he just is a bit different in the way. one, one of the things my brother said was that I picked up, I reckon it was five, six years ago is he’s in it for the long game. Jennifer Tomscha (52:03) Hmm. Bill Gasiamis (52:04) When I was young, I had 20 jobs in 10 years. He said two jobs in 40 years or 30 in 30 years. So he just chips away, works away, works away, works away. This is an analogy, right? But also a true story. My wife started her, her, her master’s in psychology. She only started that a few years ago, but the whole. Jennifer Tomscha (52:08) Hmm. Hmm. Bill Gasiamis (52:28) journey to get to the Masters of Psych started in I think late 2011 or early 2011, about a year before I ended up in hospital. She is just now finishing the last part of her Masters degree and she found a job literally a week ago in her field two days a week. Jennifer Tomscha (52:35) Mm. Mmm. ⁓ Bill Gasiamis (52:56) to work as a provisional psychologist so that she can get the 1500 hours of work in the field before she actually gets her actual full psychology license. And I’m like, dude, I get it. So what you’re telling me is that if you just start and never stop, you’re gonna see some kind of progress. And I apply that to… Jennifer Tomscha (53:08) Right. That’s amazing. Mmm. Mm-hmm. Bill Gasiamis (53:27) stroke recovery. I know that people are dealing with far more deficits that perhaps you and I show visibly and that their hand may not specifically work the way that it always that they wanted it to work or that the way that it worked before. But that doesn’t mean the brain’s not continuously continuously healing that part of the brain might be gone. But as far as healing the parts around the brain that are still there, that’s continuing. Jennifer Tomscha (53:28) Uh-huh. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Bill Gasiamis (53:58) And if, and, and one of the questions that I have for people is like, is what I’m doing supporting my recovery or is it hindering my recovery? Because I’ve met stroke survivors who have gone back to the smokes, who have gone back to alcohol. And if you’re doing things that are getting in the way of recovery, then you’re not allowing the brain to continuously do what it does best, which is overcome challenges, rewire. Jennifer Tomscha (54:05) Mmm. Bill Gasiamis (54:25) find new ways around, know, develop new neural pathways and adapt. And that’s kind of where I think it’s at adaption, right? And the great thing about understanding these days about neurodiversity and understanding what somebody with ADHD goes through is the one skill they’re really, really good at is adaption. Jennifer Tomscha (54:31) Mm-hmm. Mm, that’s interesting. Yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm. Bill Gasiamis (54:49) because and people with dyslexia. my God, like some of the biggest, most wealthy billionaires on the planet had dyslexia. Richard Branson is a classic example of that. Yeah. And they adapt. They find a way to somehow overcome the normal world and be weird in the way that they see letters and what letters do and how they move on a page and all that kind of stuff because their brain adapts and they can just continuously improve their adaption strategy. Jennifer Tomscha (54:57) really? didn’t know that. Mm-hmm. Bill Gasiamis (55:17) to get to a point where no one knows that they have this condition. So that’s what I’m really passionate about. That’s why the podcast exists. I’ve interviewed in my 400 episodes, I’ve certainly interviewed stroke survivors who I’ve had improvement 10, 11, 12, 13 years post stroke, got a finger movement back. Yeah, got sensation back, something rewired. So yeah. Jennifer Tomscha (55:19) Right. Mm-hmm. really? That’s amazing. Yeah, becau

Amanda returns to the podcast with a callback update after her 20-month scan revealed a tiny recurrence. Her second craniotomy was scheduled for 2/3/2026...yesterday. Cody and Amanda discuss her declining a pre-surgery clinical trial, weighing expensive treatment options abroad, and the emotional and financial challenges of deciding next steps, while leaning on the Glioblastoma (GBM) community for support.

Craniotomy Stroke Recovery: How a Massive Medical Event Reshaped One Man's Identity and Way of Living When Brandon Barre woke up after his stroke, half of his skull was missing. Doctors had performed an emergency craniotomy to save his life after a severe brain bleed. His left side barely worked. His memory felt fragmented. Time itself seemed unreliable; days, weeks, even months blurred together into what he later described as a kind of perpetual Groundhog Day. And yet, amid one of the most extreme medical experiences a person can survive, Brandon remained unexpectedly calm. This is a story about craniotomy stroke recovery, but it's not just about surgery, rehab, or timelines. It's about identity, mindset, and what happens when your old life disappears overnight, and you're forced to rebuild from the inside out. Life Before the Stroke: Movement, Freedom, and Identity Before his stroke, Brandon lived a life defined by movement and autonomy. He worked in the oil fields as an MWD specialist, spending weeks at a time on drilling rigs. Later, he left what he called “traditional life” behind and spent years traveling the United States in an RV. He found work wherever he went, producing music festivals, building large-scale art installations, and immersing himself in creative communities. Stability, for Brandon, never meant stillness. It meant freedom. Stroke wasn't on his radar. At 46, he was active, independent, and deeply connected to his sense of self. The Stroke and Emergency Craniotomy The stroke happened in Northern California after a long day of rock climbing with friends. Brandon didn't notice the warning signs himself; it was others who saw that his arm wasn't working properly. Later that night, he became profoundly disoriented. He was found the next morning, still sitting upright in his truck, barely conscious. Within hours, Brandon was airlifted to UC Davis Medical Center, where doctors removed a blood clot and performed a large craniotomy due to dangerous swelling. Part of his skull was removed and stored while his brain recovered. He spent 10 days in intensive care, followed by weeks in inpatient rehabilitation. Remarkably, he reports no physical pain throughout the entire process, a detail that underscores how differently each brain injury unfolds. Early Craniotomy Stroke Recovery: Regaining Movement, Losing Certainty Physically, Brandon's recovery followed a familiar but still daunting path. Initially, he couldn't walk. His left arm hung uselessly by his side. Foot drop made even short distances difficult. But what challenged him most wasn't just movement; it was orientation. He struggled to track days, months, and time itself. Short-term memory lapses made planning almost impossible. Writing, once a core part of his identity, became inaccessible. He could form letters, but not their meaning. This is a common but under-discussed aspect of craniotomy stroke recovery: the loss isn't only physical. It's cognitive, emotional, and deeply personal. “It's kind of like I'm in this perpetual day ever since the stroke… like Groundhog Day.” Technology as Independence, Not Convenience One of the quiet heroes of Brandon's recovery has been voice-to-text technology. Because writing and spelling no longer function reliably, Brandon relies on dictation to communicate. Tools like Whisper Flow and built-in phone dictation restored his ability to express ideas, stay connected, and remain independent. This matters. For stroke survivors, technology isn't about productivity. It's about dignity. Identity Reset: Slower, Calmer, More Intentional Perhaps the most striking part of Brandon's story is how little resentment he carries. He doesn't deny frustration. He doesn't pretend recovery is easy. But he refuses to live in constant rumination. Instead, he adopted a simple principle: one problem at a time. That mindset reshaped his lifestyle. He stopped drinking, smoking, and using marijuana. He slowed his pace. He became more deliberate with relationships, finances, and health decisions. He grew closer to his adult daughter than ever before. The stroke didn't erase his identity, it refined it. Taking Ownership of Craniotomy Stroke Recovery A turning point came when Brandon realized he couldn't rely solely on the medical system. Insurance changes, rotating doctors, and long waits forced him to educate himself. He turned to what he jokingly calls “YouTube University,” learning from other survivors and clinicians online. That self-directed approach extended to major medical decisions, including choosing monitoring over immediate invasive heart procedures and calmly approaching a newly discovered brain aneurysm with information rather than fear. His conclusion is clear: Recovery belongs to the survivor. Doctors guide. Therapists assist. But ownership sits with the person doing the living. A Message for Others on the Journey Toward the end of the conversation, Brandon offered advice that cuts through fear-based recovery narratives: Don't let timelines define you. Don't rush because someone says you should. Don't stop because someone says you're “done.” Every stroke is different. Every brain heals differently. And recovery, especially after a craniotomy, continues far longer than most people are told. Moving Forward, One Intentional Step at a Time Craniotomy stroke recovery isn't just about regaining movement. It's about rebuilding trust with your body, reshaping identity, and learning how to live with uncertainty without letting it dominate your life. Brandon's story reminds us that even after the most extreme medical events, calm is possible. Growth is possible. And a meaningful life, though different, can still unfold. Continue Your Recovery Journey Learn more: https://recoveryafterstroke.com/book Support the podcast: https://patreon.com/recoveryafterstroke Disclaimer: This blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Please consult your doctor before making any changes to your health or recovery plan. Brandon's Story: Surviving a Craniotomy, Redefining Identity, and Recovering on His Own Terms He survived a stroke and craniotomy, then calmly rebuilt his identity, habits, and life one deliberate step at a time. Research shortcut I use (Turnto.ai) I used Turnto.ai to find relevant papers and sources in minutes instead of hours. If you want to try it, here’s my affiliate LINK You'll get 10% off, it's about $2/week, and it supports the podcast. Highlights: 00:00 Introduction and Background01:52 Life Before the Stroke03:32 The Stroke Experience11:03 Craniotomy Stroke Recovery Journey17:09 Adjusting to Life Post-Stroke28:46 Living Independently After Stroke35:09 Facing New Challenges: Aneurysms and Uncertainty42:13 Support Systems: Finding Community After Stroke47:06 Identity Shift: Life Changes Post-Stroke58:39 Lessons Learned: Insights from the Journey Transcript: Introduction and Background Brandon (00:00)next morning was still in the driver’s seat with my head on the steering wheel. and I couldn’t make either of my arms work I had been bleeding into my brain for 12 hours overnight they had to go ahead and do a, craniotomy. And so they took this whole side. It was a big craniotomy. They took that whole section of my skull out, put it in the freezer Bill Gasiamis (00:27)Before we begin today’s episode, want to take a moment to speak to you directly. If you’ve had a stroke, you already know this part. The hospital phase ends, but the questions don’t. You’re sent home expecting to get on with it. And suddenly you’re left trying to work out recovery, mindset, fatigue, emotions, sleep and motivation all on your own. You shouldn’t have to. That’s why I wrote my book, The Unexpected Way That a Stroke Became the Best Thing That Happened. Not to tell you what to do, but to walk beside you and show you the tools real stroke survivors use to rebuild their lives when the system stopped helping. and now with this book, you won’t have to figure it out alone. You can find that at recoveryafterstroke.com/book. All right, let’s get into today’s episode. Today, you’re going to hear from Brandon Barre. Brandon was 46 years old, active, independent and living an unconventional life when he had a stroke that led to a craniotomy. where part of his skull was removed to save his life. What stood out to me immediately about Brandon wasn’t just the severity of what he went through. It was the calm grounded way he approached recovery, identity and rebuilding his life. This is a conversation about stroke recovery. Yes, but it is also about mindset, ownership and what happens when you decide to take recovery into your own hands. Life Before the Stroke (01:52)Brendan Barre, welcome to the podcast. Brandon (01:54)Thank you, man. (01:56)You struggled a little bit getting here. There’s a couple of little things that caused a bit of a challenge for you. What are those things? Brandon (02:05)Well, I mean, first of all, I’m, I’m, I’m, even before my stroke, I was never very computer-y. Um, so using my phone for more than just making phone calls is kind of new to me. Um, so yeah, a new microphone, that was fun. And then I had made a bunch of notes, not realizing that I probably wasn’t gonna be able to see those notes. Um, you know, so that was also a little bit of a issue, but uh, but yeah, other than that, man. Not much, you know, I mean I’m here. (02:37)Yeah. I remember receiving your emails about, I’m not sure what day we’re on. I need to reschedule all that kind of stuff. Stuff that I used to do heaps. I remember in the early days of my kind of stroke recovery, I used to make appointments, put them in my calendar, get reminders about my appointments and still be confused about the day, the time and the location of the appointment. Brandon (03:04)Yes, absolutely. That’s a big thing for me too. know, and I mean even just, you know, remembering from minute to minute where of what day, what month and everything I’m in right now is a little bit tricky still. It’s getting better, but ⁓ but yeah, I still have a lot of trouble. I can always think of every month except for the month that we’re currently in. (03:24)Okay, so you have like a short term memory thing, is it? Or… The Stroke Experience Brandon (03:28)Yes, yes, have short-term memory issues. ⁓ A lot of times ⁓ I struggle to find, like I said, the date and everything else. ⁓ But I don’t know, man. It’s kind of like I’m in this perpetual day ever since the stroke, and I have trouble keeping track of exactly what that is on everybody else’s time frame. (03:53)Like a, like a groundhog day. Brandon (03:55)Yes. Yeah. You know, I mean, if I really work hard and think about it, I can figure out what day it is, but it takes a while generally to get the month. The day of the month isn’t quite as difficult anymore, but at the beginning I had trouble with the whole thing. (04:11)I hear you man, I totally hear you. I reckon there’s been a ton of people that relate to what you’re saying. ⁓ Tell me, day like before stroke? What’d you get up to? What type of things did you involve yourself with? Brandon (04:23)Well, ⁓ you know, I was, I was really involved in, ⁓ production of music festivals and, ⁓ doing that kind of work. ⁓ I’ve always kind of freelanced. Well, you know, I actually, ⁓ left traditional life in 2000 and ⁓ January 1st of 2012 and started traveling and, you know, living out of an RV and whatnot. Before that, I was in the oil field. I’ve worked as an MWD specialist on a drilling rig, which means that I used to ⁓ take down all the information about where the actual drill bit was underground and send that off to all the geologists and everybody else so they can make sure that the well was going in the right direction. And, ⁓ you know, I just really didn’t feel happy in life, man. So I decided to take off and see the states out of my RV. And that started about 10 years of travel. And then In 2019 I bought some property and started to kind of slowly come off the road and started to be on my property more often but you know it just yeah I don’t know man my life has been a lot of different transitions one thing to another I move around a lot in life. (05:25)you Yeah, so the RV was kind of just exploring seeing the country Doing that type of thing or was it going somewhere with a purpose say to get work or to? Hang out there for a little while. What was that all about? Brandon (05:57)A little bit of all of it. A little bit of all of it. I’ve always been able to find work where I go, you know, doing different things. But I kind of fell into music festival work, like setting up and tearing down for music festivals and building art installations, doing like mandalas out of trash and stuff like that. And just kind of always did kind of the artist thing, I guess you could say. Even before, while I was still in the oil field doing the traditional life thing, I was always very art motivated. (06:30)Yeah, when you talk about traditional life, you’re talking about nine to five kind of routine and working for the man type of thing. Is that what you mean by traditional life? Brandon (06:43)Yes, except mine was a little bit different. My work in the oil field involved me being on site on the drilling rig for up to six weeks sometimes. So it wasn’t really nine to five. I would stay gone for a lot more than that. But then when I would go home, I’d be off for three weeks, a month. So yeah, just ⁓ doing that. (07:07)Where were these oil rigs? Were they in the middle of a desert? Were they in the ocean? Brandon (07:13)No, they were all onshore and I worked a lot in like Pennsylvania, but also a lot in Texas ⁓ Just you know anywhere where they were doing natural gas drilling (07:27)And is that a remote kind of existence in that if you’re on the rig for six weeks, are you getting off it? Are you going into town? Are you doing any of that stuff? Brandon (07:38)Usually the rigs are within an hour of some type of small town usually a Walmart that type of thing So I would go and get groceries a couple of times a week You know me and the other guys would go out and get you know dinner times and whatnot but ⁓ but yeah, basically just sitting in a little trailer a directional trailer is what they called it because it was me and ⁓ Two two other three other guys two more ⁓ directional drillers and then one other MWD hand which is what I was and so there was a night shift and a day shift of two guys each. (08:16)12 hour shifts. Brandon (08:17)Yes. (08:18)Dude, hard work. Brandon (08:21)Yeah, I mean on paper it was hard work. In real life, I mean there were those really problematic jobs where you know everything went wrong but in most cases it was just you know taking a bunch of measurements on the computer whenever they would add another link of pipe to the drilling string and drill down further so every time they would add another length of pipe I would have to take more measurements. (08:47)I hear you. So not physical, but still mental. And you’ve to be on the go for a long amount of time. Brandon (08:56)Right, but yeah, I mean it did when I would have to go up on the rig floor to like change the tool out or to put something You know together or what not so there was a little bit of that but still not as physical as like a traditional drilling rig roughneck (09:04)Uh-huh. I hear you. Yeah. Everyone’s seen those videos on YouTube with those guys getting covered in that sludge and working at breakneck speeds so that they can make sure that they put the next piece on. Brandon (09:24)Yeah, yeah, no, I, you know, and I mean, I wore my share of that mud, but not near as much as a floor hand would. (09:34)I hear, I feel like you’re, ⁓ you’re toning it down and you’re making it sound a lot more ⁓ pleasant than what it might be. But I appreciate that, man. like the way you talk about things. I couldn’t imagine myself doing that, that level of physical labor. Maybe I’m just a bit too soft myself. Brandon (09:54)Yeah, no, I don’t know, man. I consider myself soft in a lot of ways, too, man. You know, it’s just, we’re all different in our softness. (10:02)yeah. ⁓ tell me a little bit about, ⁓ your stroke, man. Like what was that particular week? Like the day? Like how did the lead up happen? Bill Gasiamis (10:12)Let’s pause for a moment. If you’re listening to this and thinking, I wish someone had explained this part to me earlier. You’re not alone. One of the hardest parts of stroke recovery isn’t the hospital. It’s what comes after when the appointments slow down, the support fades and you’re left trying to make sense of what your life looks like now. That’s exactly why I wrote the unexpected way that a stroke became the best thing that happened. It’s not a medical book. It’s a recovery companion built from real experiences. real mistakes and real breakthroughs that stroke survivors discovered along the way. If you want something that helps you think differently about recovery and reminds you that you’re not broken, you can find the book at recoveryafterstroke.com/book. Let’s get back to the conversation with Brandon. Craniotomy Stroke Recovery Journey Brandon (10:59)Okay, so I was helping a friend in Northern California to clean a property that was owned by an artist who had died and we went on to his 10 acre property and we’re just cleaning up for his family. But he had like all kinds of art stuff everywhere and so it was kind of right up my alley and ⁓ We were just trying to get the property clean for these people and we decided to take off and go and do a little bit of rock climbing. so we took off early one morning and drove to a town called Willets, California where there’s good rock climbing and we spent the day doing rock climbing which was a fairly new thing to me but the guys that I was with were very experienced lifelong climbers. And so I was kind of the new guy and they were showing me the ropes and we climbed all day. I did really well, I thought, and didn’t really notice anything. No problems. ⁓ Got back in the car. We’re headed back to the house about an hour away, a friend’s house where we were all going to stay the night. And on the way there, I noticed that I was really thirsty and I stopped and I got two 40 ounce bottles of Gatorade and I drank them both immediately and like just downed them and still didn’t notice anything was a problem was in the truck by myself with my two dogs and eventually I guess about an hour later we got to the house And I went inside to hang out with everybody. And one of my friends said that my arm wasn’t working well. I didn’t notice it at all, but he said that my arm wasn’t working very well. ⁓ so ⁓ I just kind of went on with my life. a couple of, I guess about an hour later, I decided that I was really tired. and I could not quench my thirst so I just grabbed a whole bunch of water and went out to my truck and I was gonna go and lay down and sleep in the back of my truck for the night and ⁓ when I got out to my truck ⁓ by this time my friend had said that my arm was working fine again and he noticed that I he felt like I had gotten over whatever it was and so I went out to my truck got into the driver’s seat of the truck And that’s about the last of my recollection that night. next morning when I wasn’t up making breakfast before everyone else, they realized there was a problem because I was usually the first one up making breakfast and doing all that stuff and I wasn’t there. So my friend came out to my truck to check on me and I was still in the driver’s seat with my head on the steering wheel. I never even fell over. (14:05)Hmm. Brandon (14:17)And so this is 12 hours later. And so ⁓ he tried to wake me up and I was only halfway coherent and I couldn’t make either of my arms work and only one of my legs could I get any response from. So he realized there was a problem immediately, pushed me over into the passenger side of the truck got in and drove me an hour to the closest hospital, just a small little regional hospital. And they were pretty quick about realizing that I was having a stroke. And they didn’t even, I don’t even remember them putting me in a room. They brought me straight up to the roof and put me in a helicopter and helicopter and helicoptered me to UC Davis hospital in Sacramento. (14:59)Wow Wow Brandon (15:15)And I got into the hospital and within, I think about an hour and a half, they had called my mom and my brothers who were all in Louisiana at the time. And they had gotten permission to start treatment and they brought me into the surgery. at first they just (15:25)The The following is a video of the first year of Brandon (15:45)removed a three millimeter blood clot from my main artery on the right side. But then the swelling was so bad because I had been bleeding into my brain for 12 hours overnight that they had to go ahead and do ⁓ a, what do you call it? The craniotomy. Yeah, craniotomy. And so they took this whole side. It was a big craniotomy. (16:05)Craniotomy Brandon (16:12)They took this whole side, everything to the center of my forehead, above my eye, down to just above my ear, front to back. ⁓ They took that whole section of my skull out, put it in the freezer so that my brain had room. then I spent 10 days in intensive care recovering from that. And then they moved me to a rehab hospital where I spent four weeks. And yeah, so in that rehab hospital, yeah, immediately after the surgery, I couldn’t walk and I had pretty much no function on my left side, know, arm or leg. But by the time I got to the rehab hospital, I had gotten some control back, but I still couldn’t walk. ⁓ (16:44)Wow, man. Adjusting to Life Post-Stroke Brandon (17:10)And that about a week after I was in the rehab hospital is when I started to walk again without assistance. So that came back fairly quickly, but I still had really bad foot drop and my left arm wasn’t working. It was hanging, you know? And then, so they kept me in there, ⁓ you know, going through, I guess, regular rehab. (17:24)Thank Yep. Brandon (17:36)They the series of lights on the ground in front of me and I’d have to like run around and touch the different lights as they would activate and you know, I don’t know I mean, I guess it’s the same type of rehab stuff that most people go through and ⁓ (17:51)Yeah, it’s probably similar. Mate, ⁓ this is what I really want to know is what’s it like to experience having half of your skull removed? Can you somehow paint a picture of what it’s like to go through that process and how aware were you of it? Because you just had a stroke, right? So you’re in a bit of a challenged sort of healthy health state. Brandon (18:14)Right. No. Yes. ⁓ well, I think that that deliriousness was actually kind of helpful. First of all, I have not experienced any pain through the entire process. From the stroke, no pain from the craniotomy, no pain through rehab. I have not experienced any pain through this entire experience. None whatsoever. Now the doctors say that I might have lost some of that ability to sense it But you know, I mean whatever it took I Really, you know, I didn’t you know, whatever the reason was The effect of it was that I had a pretty fame pain free experience, you know (19:07)and you’re like looking in the mirror and seeing yourself and you know, like experiencing your head and how do you kind of deal with all of that? Brandon (19:21)Well, ⁓ I couldn’t feel a whole lot. I still have a lot of, or not so very much sensation on my scalp on that side. So, you know, but as far as looking in the mirror, that was kind of interesting. You know, it took a little while to get used to it, you know, and, it, ⁓ was definitely not something that I would recommend. Anybody else going through if they don’t have to you know, but ⁓ But I don’t know man. I mean, I’ve always tried to stay pretty positive about things and so, you know, I just Kept going, you know, I mean they shaved my head. I had dreadlocks for a very long time I had dreadlocks and And so this is all the hair that I’ve gotten since they put my skull back together, which was January or it’s actually It’ll be one year tomorrow since they put my skull back together. So, ⁓ my hair is coming back, which I’m really grateful for. About this time next year, I’m gonna start trying to put my dreadlocks back in. you know, but yeah, it’s, I don’t know, man. It’s really been an interesting ride. ⁓ You know, ⁓ learned a lot more about stroke than I ever thought I would need to. You know, I mean, I’m 48 right now. I was 46 when the stroke happened. So it wasn’t even on my radar, man. I wasn’t paying any attention at all. I didn’t know the anagrams or whatever. I didn’t know the symptoms of stroke. So I just kind of rolled with the punches as they came. I took it one step at a time. And that’s kind of the way it’s been with my recovery too. is I try to address one problem at a time so I don’t overwhelm myself. So after I started to get my leg back, I started to shift my influence to my shoulder and my arm. And at this point, I’ve got almost full range of motion back to the left side. I still can’t write. ⁓ Well, actually, technically, I can make my whole alphabet and all of my numbers with (21:16)Yep. Brandon (21:37)both hands at this point. trained myself to use the other hand and then about the time I was able to get that back the other hand started to come back online. So now I can do all that with both hands but words I’m word blind and numbers and letters don’t make a lot of sense to me. So even though I can make the shapes I have a lot of trouble associating the sounds of certain letters and the functions. of different numbers and letters, you know? That’s where a lot of my trouble is now, and that’s where most of my work is at the moment. (22:14)I hear you. So you sound like you’re very cool, and collected. How do you remain positive when you wake up from a stroke? You’re missing half of your skull. Your body doesn’t work on half the side. Is it your default? Do you have to work on that? Have you been working on being positive over? the decades that you’ve been on the planet, give us a bit of an insight into that part of you. Brandon (22:47)Okay, so yeah, I think I’ve always maintained a pretty positive demeanor, you know, I mean I’ve gone through some rough stuff in life, but I’ve just kind of kept going, you know, rolling with the punches. So I really don’t think that I have had much difficulty remaining positive through it. You know, there’s ⁓ definitely, you know, ⁓ days that I don’t feel as good as other days, you know, and you know, I definitely have… ⁓ things that I have to work through. have to, you know, I have to make an effort to remain positive, you know, at times. But my default has always been to be a pretty positive and happy person. So I think that that was really the majority of it is that I’ve always even in the light of extreme adversity, I’ve always been able to remain positive. You know, ⁓ so that that’s always been, you know, key even before the stroke. But (23:39)Yeah. Brandon (23:46)Yeah, I mean definitely waking up and realizing that half of my body didn’t work anymore was not fun, but it’s what I was given. I couldn’t change it, you know, only time and work was gonna change it. So I just kinda accepted it, you know, I mean, ⁓ one of the biggest things that helped me out was by the time I got out of surgery and started to get coherent, My mom and my brother had already flown from Louisiana to be with me in California at the hospital. And that was huge just to know that my family was there. And they stayed with me for the whole time that I was ⁓ in the hospital for the 10 days. And then when I went to the rehab hospital, they went home. ⁓ But yeah, so that was ⁓ just really, that was a big part of it too, you know, I mean. My mom and my brothers are pretty much the most important people in my life. Of course, my daughter as well. yeah, so, you know, to have them all there and just to have that support and have them there to help me because when I first came out, from the time I came out of surgery, I could still speak very clearly. So I did not know what I was saying. (24:56)Mm-hmm. Brandon (25:15)Nobody could tell like I wasn’t making a lot of sense, but I never lost my voice They think that that’s because of my left-handedness Because I’m left-handed I store things like that differently in my brain So because of that I was able to keep my speech even though I cannot write I can’t do you know I mean I can write my letters, but if I try to (25:32)Okay. Brandon (25:44)make a word this was yesterday (25:48)Aha! Lux- Brandon (25:50)But I can, yeah, it’s just scribble. It’s just scribble. Yeah, but, you know, if I try to like draw a letter or a number, I can do it, but I have trouble assigning it to its value. (25:53)Yeah. Understood. So before that, were quite capable of stringing sentences together, writing things down, doing all that kind of stuff. So that’s a very big contrast. Brandon (26:14)I have always been known. Huge contrast. (26:22)Is it frustrating that you can’t write in the way that you did before? it matter? Brandon (26:27)Yes, yes, I used to write all the time, know, poetry, things like that. I’ve always been considered, you know, a good writer, a good orator, public speaker, you know, that kind of thing was a big part of my life, for my whole life. And so to go from that to not being able to write a sentence on a piece of paper or even a word is really a big change for me. You know, and I mean I do use my phone for voice to text. If I wouldn’t have had voice to text, I really don’t know where I would be right now. (27:06)Is that how you communicate most things? Brandon (27:09)Yes, absolutely. it’s- if I can’t say it, like speak it, I have to use voice to text. I can’t spell- I can’t- I can’t spell my own name half the time. (27:17)Dude, I love that. Yeah, I hear you. I love voice to text. So I was told by a friend of mine about a product called Whisper Flow. I’m gonna have links in the show notes and in the description on the YouTube video, right? And it’s spelled W-I-S-P-R-F-L-O-W, Whisper Flow. And what you do is you program one key on your keyboard. And then what you do is you press that key and it activates Brandon (27:36)Yes. (27:52)the app and then you speak and it types beautifully. It types at all. And I’m a terrible like typist. I could never be one of those really quick secretary kind of people and take notes because I’m not fast enough, but it can type for me by speaking like beyond 99 words per minute, which I think is crazy fast. Living Independently After Stroke And I do it because it just saves a heck of a lot of time, me looking down at the keyboard and all that kind of stuff. My left hand does work, but I can type with it, but often my left hand, you know, we’ll miss the key and I’ve got to go back and do corrections and all that kind of stuff. So voice to text, this comes such a long way and everyone needs to know, especially if they’ve had a stroke and one of their limbs is affected, especially if it’s their… they’re riding limb or if they have a challenge like you, everyone needs to know about the fact that technology can really solve that problem. I’m pretty sure, I know this sounds like an ad for Whisper Flow, it probably is, but I’m not getting paid for it. I think they cost, it costs about hundred bucks a year to have this ⁓ service. So it’s so affordable and it does everything for you just at the touch of one button on your computer. And for some people you can also use it on your phone. But I think phones are pretty awesome at doing voice to text already. So you don’t really need ⁓ it for the phone, but you definitely need to check it out for the computer. Brandon (29:27)Okay, yeah, well, you know, I pretty much have my phone. I don’t have a computer, so… But, ⁓ it does sound like an amazing product, and I am looking to get myself a computer because I really, ⁓ like, I haven’t touched a keyboard since my stroke. So, it would be nice to get myself a laptop with a keyboard so that I could start working on trying to see how that interface works for me. (29:33)Yeah. Yeah. How was the transition out of hospital and rehab back to your place? and how long after the initial strike did you end up back at home? Brandon (30:04)Okay, so, when I, I left the hospital after, or I’m sorry, after 10 days in intensive care, they put me in the rehab hospital and I was there for four weeks. After that, they still didn’t think that I was ready to live by myself yet. So I had to, ⁓ rent a house in Joshua tree from a friend of mine who lived on the property in another house. And so I had a whole house to myself still which allowed me to keep my independence. But I still had somebody close enough to holler if I needed anything. And so I kind of, you know, baby stepped by renting a house, you know, for a while. And, And I have property in Northern Arizona where I normally would take my off time when I wasn’t traveling. But, ⁓ But, ⁓ because of the stroke, I wasn’t able to go back to that property for quite a while. And only about Christmas of last year did I start to be able to spend some more time on my property, you know. But at this point, I’m still renting the house in Joshua Tree and starting ⁓ to branch out a little bit more, do a little bit more traveling, things like that. Now with that said… I have been ever since the stroke happened about two months after the stroke I went back to my first music festival. So I didn’t have half of my skull. I had to wear a helmet for six months. And so here I am at a music festival with all of my friends and I’m in a helmet with half of my skull missing. But I still was able to be there and then ⁓ you know, be a part of the festival. So I got back to the activity that I enjoyed pretty fast. (32:07)What genre of music? Brandon (32:09)Well, it’s actually the Joshua Tree Music Festival in particular, which is the only music festival that I’m really involved with anymore. ⁓ They do world music. We get artists from all over the world in. And that’s kind of one of the reasons I’ve continued to be a part of this music festival and really haven’t been that big of a part of the other ones is because I’m always learning about new music when I go there. And that’s a big important part of it to me. (32:40)Understood. So your transition back to living alone took a little bit of time. You’re renting a place. Are you alone there? Are you living with anyone else? How is the home set up? Brandon (32:55)I have a home all to myself but there is a shared home on the other or on the property that a friend of mine lives in and he’s actually the one that I’m renting from so yeah (33:09)So you have access to support to help to people around you if necessary. Brandon (33:15)if I need it. also another big part of one of the symptoms of my stroke is that I don’t recognize my own disabilities. I have a lot of trouble with that. So I generally do not ask for help with things, which in a lot of cases has made me a lot stronger and I think been a big part of a speedy recovery. But at the same time, I can put myself in some kind of sketchy situations at times. (33:43)It’s not, are you sure it’s not just your male ego going, I can do this, I don’t need help. Brandon (33:49)I mean, I’m sure that that does tie into it, I’m certain. But yeah, that’s one of the things that I’ve struggled with from the beginning. And I didn’t recognize the left side of my body as my own. I thought it was somebody else’s. That wasn’t very long, just for maybe the first couple of weeks. But that was a very interesting sensation, that I felt like there was somebody else there. (34:06)Wow. Yeah, it just feels like it’s my, I kind of describe my left side as if it’s because my star sign is Gemini, right? So now I describe it as being the other twin, like the other part of me, which is me, but not me. And it’s so strange to experience 50 % of my body feeling one way and then 50 % of my body feeling a completely different way, which is Brandon (34:25)Yeah. Facing New Challenges: Aneurysms and Uncertainty (34:44)the only way I remember and then tying them together, like bringing them together has been a bit of a wild ride, like just getting them to operate together. When they have different needs, my left side has different needs than my right side. And sometimes one side is getting all the love and the other side is missing out. And I’m always conflicted between where do I allocate resources? Who gets… how much of my time and effort and who I listen to when one of them’s going, my left side’s going, I’m tired, I’m tired. My right side’s going, the party’s just started. Let’s keep going. Don’t worry about it. Brandon (35:25)I have to deal with that. Of course, my left gets a lot tighter than my right side, but I don’t know. think I’ve done a pretty good job of giving it that care. And a big part of where I measured my success was getting my shoulder back online and being able to pronate and go above my head. It took months to get my hand over my head. But But at this point, you know, I’m pretty much back to physically normal except for the fine motor skills on my right, on my left side. You know. (35:59)Sounds like things are going really well in really small increments. And if you’re only, what, two years post stroke, sounds like recovery is gonna continue. You’re gonna get smaller, more and more small wins and they’re gonna kinda accumulate and make it pretty significant in some time ahead. Brandon (36:17)Right. It’s a year and a half. So my stroke was on the 4th of November of 2024. (36:32)Yeah. Do you know in this whole time, did you ever have the… like, this is too hard, I don’t want to do this. Why is this happening to me kind of moment? Did you ever have any of that type of negative self talk or thoughts? Brandon (36:50)no, I mean, I suppose there probably were moments, but I don’t pay a lot of attention to those kinds of moments. You know what I mean? I do kind of even without the stroke, maintain a pretty positive mental attitude, you know, and I think that that’s been one of my biggest blessings through this. ⁓ yeah. So yeah, that’s never really been a good emotion. (37:12)I get a sense that you have those moments, but you don’t spend a lot of time there. Is that right? Is that what you just sort of alluded to that you have those moments, you just don’t give them a lot of time. Therefore they don’t really have the opportunity ⁓ to sort of take up residence. And then you just move on to whatever it is that you’re getting results with or makes you feel better or… ⁓ supports your project which is ⁓ recovery or overcoming or… Brandon (37:48)Yes. No, I completely agree. ⁓ You know, I mean, speaking of which, four days ago, I got ⁓ a phone call from the doctors. ⁓ They found an aneurysm in my brain. So I have to go and meet with a neurosurgeon on Tuesday to discuss what we’re going to do about a brain aneurysm. So I thought, you know, I was just about back to normal. And here I go into another situation. But again, until I know what’s going on, there’s no point in worrying about it, you know? So I’ll know more about it on Tuesday, but until then, I’m not spending a whole lot of time wondering, you know, am I just going to have an aneurysm and collapse tonight? You know? (38:36)that tends to be my default as well. I was really good as a kid. ⁓ When I was being cheeky and not doing my homework for school, I would go to bed and I would remember, I haven’t done my homework. And then I’d be like, yeah, but you can’t solve that problem now. Now you got to sleep, right? So you got to worry about that in the morning after you’ve had a good night’s sleep and you wake up and then deal with it. And that was a strategy to help me forget about that. minor problem, which back then, if you haven’t done your homework as a teenager, that was a big problem. If your teachers found out, if your parents found out, but the idea was that, don’t I just pause all of the overthinking? Why don’t I just pause all of the rumination and all the problems and all that stuff that it could cause for now. And I’ll worry about it when there’s a opportunity to have the resources to do something about it. And the classic example was in the morning, I would have an hour before school where I could reach out to one of my friends, take their homework, copy their homework, and then hand in my homework. Brandon (39:46)Absolutely. Yep, that was very much like me in school. (39:51)Yeah, not much point worrying about things you can’t change or control in the moment. Just pause it, deal with it later. I had a similar situation with my bleed in my brain, because I had a number of different bleeds and it was kind of in the back of my mind a little bit. What if it happens again? But it actually never stopped me from going about life from bleed one through to bleed two. was only six weeks, but like through blade two to blade three, it was about a year and a half. But I got so much done. I was, we were just going about life. was struggling with memory and all different types of deficits because of the blood clot that was in my head. But I never once kind of thought about what if something goes wrong, unless I was traveling. to another country, because we did go to the United States when I was about almost a year after the first and second bleed, we went to the United States. And then I did worry about it from a practical sense. It’s like, if I have a bleed in Australia, I’m near my hospital and then they can take over from where they left off previously and healthcare is paid for here. So there was no issue. But if I’m overseas and something goes wrong, I’m far away from home, we got to have the expensive insurance policy. Cause if something goes, I want to be totally covered when I’m in the United States, we don’t know the system. don’t know all these things. So that was a practical worry that I had, but I didn’t worry about my health and wellbeing. Do you know? I worried about the practicality of having another blade in the airplane because then I’m in the middle of the ocean. over halfway between Australia and the United States. And that’s eight hours one way or another or something. And I thought about that, but I didn’t think about how I would be personally ⁓ negatively impacted by the medical issue. I just thought about the, do we get help as quickly as possible if something were to happen? So I know a lot of people have a stroke and they, Brandon (41:55)Right. Support Systems: Finding Community After Stroke (42:18)⁓ They overthink about what if it happens again and they’re constantly kind of got that on their mind, but I was dealing with just the moments that made me feel like perhaps I should do something about this headache that I’m getting. I dealt with things as they appeared, as they turned up, I didn’t try to plan ahead and solve every problem before it happened. Brandon (42:24)Yeah. Yes, I agree. I’m very much the same way. You see, before my stroke, I didn’t have medical insurance. I hadn’t seen a doctor since my early 20s. just, I was, I was, I had always been extremely healthy. You know, I’ve always been very physically active, you know, and, so it just, I never really, I never really ⁓ went out and looked for medical. I just didn’t need it, you know? And so, When the stroke happened, I was very lucky to get put on California’s healthcare plan. And they’ve taken care of all of my medical bills. ⁓ You know, I’ve never pulled a single dollar out of my pocket for all the rehab, all the doctors since. And I mean, I have doctors still once every week, two weeks at the most, doctor visits, you know? And so I’m extremely fortunate. that it happened to me where I was, you know, because not all states here are like that, but California is extremely good. So, you know, I’m really grateful that it worked out the way it has because it could have been a whole different situation, man. (44:00)I have heard some horror stories about medical insurance for people who are not covered, have a stroke and then they leave hospital with like a $150,000 bill or something. Is that a thing? Brandon (44:13)Yes, it really is. I mean, I was extremely fortunate. By the time I got out of that first 10 days with the helicopter ride and everything else, I was close to $2 million in bills. (44:25)Dude, that’s mental. Brandon (44:26)Yeah. And, ⁓ yeah, I mean, it just doesn’t really, I mean, you know, I mean, I’m not a big fan of, the way that the medical system works money wise. think it’s all just paper or fake money, just fake numbers, you know, but yeah, I don’t know. I just, ⁓ I was extremely fortunate that it all happened the way that it did and that California is so good and they really do take care of their citizens, you know, so. (44:54)Yeah, I love that. Brandon (44:55)Yeah, very fortunate. (44:57)You know, in your recovery, did you have somebody that you kind of leaned on for support that was a confident, ⁓ that was like a mentor or did you have somebody like that in your life that was really helpful in your recovery? Brandon (45:15)Actually in about the year before my stroke I lost the three gentlemen that I had always considered my mentors, older guys that I’ve known for years. They all three passed away the year before my stroke. So I really kind of felt on my own. You know, I have a lot of friends, you know, but ⁓ but after my stroke I really don’t have the brain space for like Facebook or anything like that. So I really, closed down my very active Facebook account and when I did that, I lost so many people that would have been my support because I just, they weren’t there, you know, in real life. They’re only there on the computer, you know? And so, but luckily, you know, I’m a part of the community in Joshua Tree. So I had a lot of support from people there and… ⁓ Then I have probably four or five other friends that are scattered around the United States that I keep in touch with pretty closely. But I went down from talking to hundreds of people a month and all of that on the internet to really a very small closed social circle, you know? And then in addition to that, surprisingly, people that I’ve known for years just are not very good at accepting the differences in who I am as a person since the stroke, you know? And so, you know, I hate to say it, but a lot of friendships have kind of gotten a lot more distant since the stroke. you know, it’s just, I mean, it is what it is. You know, people have to do what they feel is right for themselves, you know? But yeah, I really… ⁓ Identity Shift: Life Changes Post-Stroke (47:06)Yeah. Brandon (47:07)I don’t have a very large support network. You know, I just basically kind of take care of a lot of it myself. You know, I mean, I did two and a half months of outpatient rehab with a occupational therapist. And what’s the other one? Occupational and physical therapy. (47:33)Mm-hmm. Brandon (47:33)So I did occupational and physical therapy for about two and a half months after I got out of the hospital. And that was all really good and helpful. And ⁓ I’m really grateful for those therapists that worked with me. And they helped me get ⁓ basically back to a normal cadence because I was having trouble putting one foot in front of the other. And they really helped me work on my cadence and getting my walk back to fairly normal. ⁓ My arm. has been mostly me. It has never been able to be rushed. It takes its own time. So even with the physical therapy, my hand coming back, it works at its own pace. That was never really influenced that much by physical therapy. And then my actual use of my hand, I was balled up. I was curled up and balled up to the wrist. after the stroke and eventually I got to where I could hold it out flat and I still tremor a lot there but it’s a lot better than it was and but yeah all of that had to come back at its own pace the physical therapy and stuff was helpful for a lot of other aspects of my recovery but that was all just taking its own time and coming back as I guess as it did my brain learn to re-communicate (48:58)Yeah, it sounds, it sounds like you’re kind of really well made up somehow, like you picked up the skills early on in your life to be able to deal with this situation. The way that you do is just amazing. Like it’s seems like it’s second nature, the way that you go about approaching the problems, the challenges, the difficulties, know, the missing half your skull, all that thing. It just seems really innate that you have that within you. you, people are listening and going, you know, that’s not me or I didn’t experience that or I’m overthinking things. Do you think that’s the way that you’re approaching things is teachable, learnable? Can people change the way that they’re going about ⁓ relating to their stroke or dealing with their stroke or managing it. Brandon (49:53)⁓ you know, I think that that you’re going to find that a lot of people, can be taught and a lot of people, can’t be taught. You know, some people’s nature just is not going to be able to handle that. But other people, you know, I think that you can go through very real processes to gain, ⁓ knowledge base, you know, to be able to start working with it. You see another big aspect of my recovery. is that I immediately after my stroke and getting out of the hospital moved eight hours away from UC Davis Hospital where my original care providers were. So I had to go through a whole new medical plan, a whole new set of doctors and everything else. And that changed on me like three times over the first six months. So I really couldn’t rely on the doctors for support either. because they were changing so often I would just meet one and the next thing I would know I would have a new doctor coming in or a new healthcare plan and so it took about six months for me to start seeing the same healthcare providers routinely so I went to YouTube University man I found you I found several other people that had these just these huge amounts of information you know, on how to handle my own recovery. So I took a lot of my own recovery into my own hands. And actually, ⁓ a week ago, I was talking to my neurologist, who is a really amazing lady, and, you know, and had to tell her pretty much that same story that, you know, I couldn’t leave it up to the doctors to fix me. I had to take care of myself. because of my situation and switching insurance and everything else that I went through, there was just not that much option. ⁓ so, you know, and she was like, I wish that all of my patients had that kind of an outlook. You cannot rely on the medical system to fix you. You know, we were talking about what can help people. I think that’s a really big thing that could help a lot of people is to realize that you have to take care of your health care decisions. You know, they found a PFO in my heart, a ⁓ Framon Parabot. (52:24)A patent for Ramen Ovali. Hole in your heart. Brandon (52:28)Yes, yeah, they found that and they wanted to fix it and I was like, you know, I’m 47 years old. This is a one-time thing. So I opted to have a loop recorder installed, a loop recorder to measure my heart rhythm and everything and send messages to the doctors at nights about my heart. So that because I thought that was a little bit less invasive. For my age, the last thing I want is for later in life, my body to start having problems with an implant that’s in my heart. So I decided not to go with that and to go with the less invasive loop recorder, which is still implanted under the skin in my chest, but it doesn’t affect my heart. (53:08)Thank you. Brandon (53:21)It just sends the information about my heart rhythm to the doctors so that they can keep track. (53:26)and it can be easily accessed and removed. Brandon (53:30)Exactly, exactly. So, you know, I mean, if I have another stroke or if I find through the little device that I’m having trouble with that PFO, you know, then I’ll get the PFO closure done. But until then, I didn’t want to just jump straight to that, you know, three months out of my out of my stroke. You know, I want to make sure that that’s the problem. because they did pull a 3mm blood clot out of my brain. So there’s a good chance that that went through the PFO and into my brain. But I was also way outside of my normal activity range trying to rock climb the day before. So there’s just, there are too many variables about the experience for me to just want to go and have something installed in my heart permanently, you know? (54:28)I hear you. What about the aneurysm? Where is that? What’s the long-term kind of approach to that? Brandon (54:35)Don’t know yet. I do not know anything about it. I’ll find out more information on Tuesday They said it’s not it’s not in the same part of my brain that my stroke was So that’s a good thing and there’s a good chance that it may have been there for a long time before the stroke So we just don’t know I don’t know anything about it So that I’m gonna go and meet with this neurosurgeon and decide what we’re gonna do about it (54:42)that’s right. Brandon (55:03)I think the most likely option, as long as it’s not big, is that they just wait and they monitor it. But there’s also a process where they coil it. They put a coil of platinum into it and pack it off so that it can’t become a problem later. And then the third scenario is that they take another piece of my skull off and go in and actually put a clip on it. to stop the blood from going into it. So I may actually have to have my skull open back up again. But, again, there’s no point in thinking about it now. I’ll think about it after Tuesday when I figure out where this thing is, what size it is, and all the details of it, you know? (55:46)Yeah. I love it. I love it. I love that man. That’s a great way to approach it. Also, ⁓ I love your comment about YouTube University. I love the fact that people find my podcast sometimes when they’re in hospital because clearly they realize I need to ⁓ learn more about this, understand it and ⁓ straight away they’ve got answers because of YouTube. it’s such a great service. It’s free. If you don’t want to pay for a paid service and all you got to do is put up with ads that you can skip through most of the time. So I think that’s brilliant. ⁓ What about your identity, man? People have a lot of kind of ⁓ examples of how they have a shift in their identity, how they perceive themselves, how they fit into the world. Did you feel like you have a shift in your identity or the way that you fit into the world? What’s that like for you? Brandon (56:46)Well, I mean, I definitely do feel like there was a big shift. Now at the core, I feel like the same person. know, mentally, I still feel like I know who I am, but it definitely has shifted my priorities in life a lot. ⁓ I did not raise my daughter and I developed a much closer relationship to her since the stroke. and we’ve been spending more time together and just really working on our relationship together. She’s 28 years old. So, you know, that has really been an amazing aspect of my stroke recovery is that I’m closer with my daughter than I ever was. But yeah, I mean, you know, I do things a lot differently. I was a heavy smoker, a heavy drinker, and a heavy marijuana user. I don’t smoke marijuana, don’t smoke cigarettes, and I don’t drink alcohol anymore. So huge change in my lifestyle as well. ⁓ But you know, I just I’m not as much of a hurry as I used to. I was always accused of my mind working on too many levels at one time, you know, and had too much on my plate, too much going on in my brain all the time. Now. My brain doesn’t keep up as well. So I struggle to stay on one subject, much less juggle multiple things in my brain. So it’s really kind of slowed down my whole mental process. But I think that again, that’s in a good way. I think that ⁓ I needed to slow down a little bit in a lot of ways. Lessons Learned: Insights from the Journey (58:31)I hear you. With the alcohol, marijuana and the smoking. So you might’ve been doing that for decades, I imagine, smoking, drinking. Brandon (58:43)Yes. (58:44)how do you experience your body differently now that it doesn’t have those substances in it anymore? Like, cause that’s a mass, that’s probably one of the biggest shifts your consumption of, we’ll call them, I don’t know, like harmful ⁓ things, you know, like how, so how do you relate to yourself differently now that those things are not necessary? Brandon (59:12)You know, I never really had like an addictive aspect. So I really don’t, I don’t feel like, ⁓ I mean, I don’t feel like it’s changed me a whole lot. I just had to take the daily habits out. But after spending a month in the hospital, all of the physical wants, all of the physical aspects of it were already taken care of, you know? So I just had to kind of maintain and not go back to old habits. So really, I mean, I don’t feel like it was that big of a difference. But now physically, I’ve always been an extremely skinny person. You know, I’m six foot one and I’ve always weighed 135 to 145. Now I weigh 165. So I did put on some weight after stopping all that. But other than that, really don’t notice a lot of ⁓ physical differences. Now, I have not coughed since my stroke. I used to wake myself up at night coughing, but for some reason, like literally when I had the stroke, I have not coughed since. Now I clear my throat a lot more and I have a lot of, we’re trying to figure out why, but I have a lot of problems with my sinuses. and stuff like that all on the side that I my injury was on this side but on the side the mental side like where it’s all mental stuff that changed the you know all of that I have problems with my sinuses and drainage and things like that so right now I’m seeing an ear nose and throat specialist and we just did a cat scan of my sinuses so I’ll see on the 13th of this next month I’ll get more information on about what’s going on there. ⁓ really, if that’s all I have to deal with is a one-sided sinus infection, I’m okay with that, you know? (1:01:23)Brandon, you’re all over it, man. I love your approach. It’s ⁓ refreshing to hear somebody who’s just so all over getting to the bottom of things rather than kind of just letting them kind of fester, which kind of leads me to my next question is you seem to have gained a lot of learning and growth from all of this. So what… ⁓ What are some of the insights that you gained from this experience that you didn’t expect? Brandon (1:01:54)⁓ No, I’m really not sure, man. I’m really not sure. I mean, again, I feel like pretty much going back to the same person. I mean, I have, I think, a little bit more respect for the human lifespan. You know, I was one of those people that always felt like, since I’ve never died, I can’t tell you that I’m going to die. Even though everybody else on the planet has to die, I never necessarily felt like that. I definitely feel mortal now, you know? I used to tell everybody that I still felt 25, but as soon as I had my stroke, felt 48. I felt every bit of my age. So it kind of cured me of that. You know, I pay a lot more attention to like, you know, things like, setting up my daughter for the future, you know, and like, Purchasing property for her and things like that to make sure that she’s gonna be taken care of when I’m not here anymore Things that I never paid attention to beforehand, you know, I always just lived in the moment Really didn’t care about the rest But now I’m more prone to put the work into my vehicle before it breaks down Instead of just waiting for it to be on the side of the road to fix it You know, I just I I think that I handle my life responsibilities more like a grown up than I used to, you know, but ⁓ but really, I don’t know, I’d say overall though, it’s still really difficult question to answer, man. I don’t I don’t feel like I live a lot differently. I feel like I’m still the same person, you know. (1:03:35)You nailed it, man. You answered it beautifully, especially the part about mortality. That’s a hap that happened to me. I realized at 37 that, ⁓ I actually might not be around in 12 months, six months, three months. So who knows like tomorrow. And that made me pay attention to my relationships and make sure that they were mostly mended healed. Reach. I reached out to people who I needed to reach out to. cut off people who I didn’t need to continue connecting with. Brandon (1:03:51)Right? (1:04:05)You know, like I realized that this, I’ve got to attend, attend to certain things that I hadn’t been attending to because if, ⁓ if the shit hit the fan, if things go really ugly, then I wouldn’t be able to attend to those things. And I, now that I had the ability to do it, was my responsibility to do that. Brandon (1:04:28)Absolutely, absolutely. I completely agree. I did the same thing. I cleared out a lot of the people that really weren’t being, you know, or that weren’t adding benefit to my life and causing problems in my life. I cleared all of that out. I started to focus more on the core group of people that were a big part of my life and, you know, my recovery and just, you know, who I am as a person. And just, you know, it really made me take a better look at the life that I had created for myself and and ⁓ and Just take care of the things that I should be taking care of and don’t pay as much attention to the things that weren’t serving me (1:05:12)Yeah, it’s a great way to continue moving forward. Your daughter, does she live nearby or does she live in another state? Brandon (1:05:21)She lives in another state. She lives in Alabama right now, but we’re starting to consider her coming out here to Arizona. Her and her boyfriend have lived there for several years, but the only reason she was living there is because her grandparents lived there on her maternal side, and she was very close to them for her whole life. But they passed, both of them, over the last several years. And, you know, she enjoys her work. She enjoys her friend group. But she also feels like she might need to go and explore a little bit more and move out of her comfort zone. So she might be a little bit closer sooner. Her and her boyfriend might actually move out here. we’ll just, know, only time will tell, but it’s just, it’s a fun thought, you know? (1:06:08)Yeah, I hear you. So we’ve shared a whole bunch of amazing things on this episode right now. The last question I want to ask you is there are people watching and listening that had either been listening for a little bit of time. They’ve just started their stroke recovery or they’r

Join us as we uncover the fascinating role of speech and language therapists working in awake craniotomy. We go to Birmingham to meet SLT Georgie Harrington and Mr Ismail Ughratdar, Consultant neurosurgeon to find out how they work as part of a team. Donald Innes, an expert by experience, who has had two awake craniotomies, shares his story and thoughts about the process. Kathleen Graham, SLT and now senior project manager for the RCSLT and lead on new awake craniotomies position paper (Oct 2025), gives us some of the history about the procedure.With thanks to speakers:Donald Innes, expert by experienceKathleen Graham, Senior Project Manager, Royal College of Speech and Language TherapistsGeorgie Harrington, Clinical lead, Speech and Language Therapy Outpatients, University Hospitals Birmingham NHS Foundation TrustMr Ismail Ughratdar, Consultant Neurosurgeon, Speech and Language Therapy Outpatients, University Hospitals Birmingham NHS Foundation TrustUseful links:RCSLT awake craniotomy position paper (October 2025)Awake craniotomy | RCSLT (resources for the public)Awake craniotomy resources | RCSLT (resources for members of the RCSLT)What to expect during an awake craniotomy for brain tumour removal Please be aware that the views expressed are those of the guests and not the RCSLT.Please do take a few moments to respond to our podcast survey: uk.surveymonkey.com/r/LG5HC3R

Jamila's craniopharyngioma had been growing for years, unbeknownst to her. In hindsight, it was her son who gave the first clue, when he stopped breastfeeding overnight at 11 months old.Today Jamila is an author, a broadcaster and the deputy managing director of Future Women, dedicated to achieving gender equity in Australian workplaces.A few years back, her life was on a powerful trajectory — she had been the chief of staff for a federal MP, written best-selling books and was a regular guest on TV panel shows.Then in 2017, she realised something was wrong with her health.At first she wasn't worried. Then, at 31 she was diagnosed with craniopharyngioma — a rare and recurring brain tumour.When Jamila left the world of the well, her life changed completely, in funny, strange, and harrowing ways.Jamila's book Broken Brains: For anyone who's been sick or loved someone who was is co-authored with Rosie Waterland and published by Penguin Random House.This interview was produced by Alice Moldovan. Conversations' EP is Nicola Harrison. The presenter was Richard Fidler.Conversations Live is coming to the stage! Join Sarah Kanowski and Richard Fidler for an unmissable night of unforgettable stories, behind-the-scenes secrets, and surprise guests. Australia's most-loved podcast — live, up close, and in the moment. Find out more on the Conversations website.

Had my son when I was 36 years old in 2012.  Very long labor that ended up being a c-section.  My son was very healthy and normally developing until he was 13 months old. He had a fall from our bed, just 18" off the ground, and suffered a large brain bleed.  He had an emergency craniotomy and a few days later he had a stroke.  He'll be 12 years old on 10/19/2024. He still has no functional use of his right arm or hand, but has accomplished so much.  Being a speech therapist was key in early intervention for my son.  I continue to use my over 20 years of experience to help my son and other children.  BIO: Jeaneen Tang, speech-language pathologist and mother of a special needs child. Along with her over 20 years of experience working with children and adults with neurodiversity, she also has an 11 year old son who is neurodivergent. He suffered a traumatic brain injury and stroke at 13 months old. Her personal and professional relationship with this amazing population has forever changed her. She hopes to change their world too.  She recently published her first book called PLAY DUMB & SABOTAGE. It addresses early language development and is meant to be helpful for parents, caregivers, and educators to work with young children and hopefully decrease the number of children needing speech therapy. Through preventative training, she believes we can achieve success and raise confident communicators.  FIND HER HERE: www.playdumbandsabotage.com https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeaneen-tang-707a6730?utm_source=share&utm_campaign=share_via&utm_content=profile&utm_medium=ios_app https://www.instagram.com/jt808/ https://www.instagram.com/playdumbandsabotage/ https://www.facebook.com/jeaneen.tang

Title: Laser Ablation vs. Mini Craniotomy/Tube Retractor for Tumors Guest Faculty: Ian Lee, MD Hosts: Rushna Ali, MD and Seth F. Oliveria, MD PhD We will be joined by our guest Dr. Ian Lee to discuss use of stereotactic laser ablation, mini craniotomy and/or tube retractors to treat brain tumors. We will focus on understanding the advantages and weaknesses of these techniques to help develop a framework to apply toward clinical decision making in addition to traditional open resection techniques.

In this Care Plan episode, Rhea and Sachi delve into the intricate details of craniotomies for brain tumors. This episode focuses on preoperative considerations, anesthetic types, specialized monitoring, positioning, and postoperative care. From neurological assessments to anesthesia choices—such as IV anesthesia and considerations for minimizing intracranial pressure—the episode covers it all. They also cover potential complications like seizures and venous air embolisms. The discussion extends to postoperative care in the ICU, emphasizing the importance of neuro checks, hemodynamic stability, and vigilance for neurological changes. To connect with Rhea and Sachi, check them out on Instagram @crna_scientist and @thecrnaclub. Also, be on the lookout for the launch of their new company featuring basic and clinical science education for the nurse anesthesia community.Support the showTo access all of our content, download the CORE Anesthesia App available here on the App Store and here on Google Play. Want to connect? Check out our instagram or email us at info@coreanesthesia.com

Nick Gaspar was a 14 year old 8th grader who became lethargic and his normally upbeat personality became withdrawn in May of 2021. He also developed a tremor in his left hand and after being taken to his pediatrician, was quite quickly transported to Boston Children's Hospital where he was diagnosed with a Mixed Germ Cell Brain Tumor. Nick's mother Jen will talk about the next 2 years of Nick's life, which originally showed promise after his tumor was completely removed during a 12 hour Craniotomy. Unfortunately in the months ahead , Nick's condition went downhill, and he passed away on May 19th of 2023. 

The continuation of Bruce and Court's strange letter gives way to home surgery and a little grand theft auto.What's in The Rift is a mystery / sci fi story set in a world of alternate realities.Six individuals receive mysterious invitations to an enigmatic website known as The Rift. This website promises to provide answers to life's most profound questions, drawing each in as they hope to process some of the inexplicable things happening to them in their own lives.Produced by Gas Station DrugsWorld created by Josh BurgessPlayersCourt Farrokh - Ryan DaylorJenny Thomas - Patty HamiltonBlanche Boyet - Yolandie HamiltonToska Orange - Joseph RutledgeJackie McCloud - Summer SchlenkerBruce McKinney - Grayson StammGuest StarsHerman Foster - Derrick Valen (October's Children)Glenda - Saph the Something (The Supernatural Protection Agency) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

MedLink Neurology Podcast is delighted to feature selected episodes from BrainWaves, courtesy of James E Siegler MD, its originator and host. BrainWaves is an academic audio podcast whose mission is to educate medical providers through clinical cases and topical reviews in neurology, medicine, and the humanities, and episodes originally aired from 2016 to 2021. Originally released: September 28, 2017 This week on BrainWaves, we go back in time to explore humans' oldest neurosurgical procedure. So carve out some time in your day to learn about the ancient technique of craniotomy. Produced by James E Siegler. Music by Chris Zabriskie, Kai Engel, Kevin McLeod, The Philadelphia Orchestra, and Sergey Cheremisinov. Voiceover by John Burnett. BrainWaves' podcasts and online content are intended for medical education only and should not be used for routine clinical practice. Please do NOT drill into anyone's head without their full and informed consent. REFERENCES Assina R, Sarris CE, Mammis A. The history of craniotomy for headache treatment. Neurosurg Focus 2014;36(4):E9. PMID 24684340 Clower WT, Finger S. Discovering trepanation: the contribution of Paul Broca. Neurosurgery 2001;49(6):1417-25; discussion 1425-6. PMID 11846942 Faria MA Jr. Violence, mental illness, and the brain - a brief history of psychosurgery: part 1 - From trephination to lobotomy. Surg Neurol Int 2013;4:49. PMID 23646259 Missios S. Hippocrates, Galen, and the uses of trepanation in the ancient classical world. Neurosurg Focus 2007;23(1):E11. PMID 17961050 Newman WC, Chivukula S, Grandhi R. From mystics to modern times: a history of craniotomy & religion. World Neurosurg 2016;92:148-50. PMID 27150646 Sperati G. Craniotomy through the ages. Acta Otorhinolaryngol Ital 2007;27(3):151-6. PMID 17883195 Tsermoulas G, Aidonis A, Flint G. The skull of Chios: trepanation in Hippocratic medicine. J Neurosurg 2014;121(2):328-32. PMID 24857244 Verano JW, Finger S. Chapter 1: ancient trepanation. Handb Clin Neurol 2010;95:3-14. PMID 19892104  We believe that the principles expressed or implied in the podcast remain valid, but certain details may be superseded by evolving knowledge since the episode's original release date.

Amber and Ashley are joined by Jessica Shewmake as she shares her daughter's personal story with KCNQ2. The girls talk about the hard parts of raising a child with special needs as well as the immense joy it brings, and how it outweighs all of the hardships. Jessica shines a light on the Tim Tebow foundation and his sponsored event "A night to shine" which is a prom-like experience for special needs kids. Get in touch with Jessica Shewmake IG: little_house_in_the_hill https://www.kcnq2cure.org/ Tim Tebow Foundation: A night to shine Follow the link to help support Amber after her failed Craniotomy. Ambers Go Fund me RENEW 127 Project Follow us on Instagram Music by Ooyy and T-shirts and Sweats Licensed under https://www.epidemicsound.com/music/featured/ Start your own podcast today. https://anchor.fm --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Alt.pop-punk inspired Soundhoose talk about their latest release “Craniotomy” featuring “Loner”, “Just a name”, “Runner”, “Addicted”, “Psych”, “Devil's Angel”, etc., and unapologetically declare their personal vendetta on mental warfare, breaking the stigma and ignorance around the topic that's been neglected but rages in all! Brandon Smith (aka Mr. Bad Luck) and Jeremy Bauer stress the importance of mental health and protecting all life plus their cause at www.jedfoundation.org, and discuss their previous releases “Quarantine Psycho”, “Mr. Bad Luck” plus featured in numerous publications and performed at the Whisky-A-Go-Go, Viper Room, Molly Malone's, The Mint and more! Check out the amazing Soundhoose and their latest on all streaming platforms and www.soundhoose.comtoday! #soundhoose #craniotomy #brandonsmith #mrbadluck #jeremybaure #mentalhealth #jedfoundation #quarantinepsycho #whiskyagogo #iheartradio #spreaker #spotify #applemusic #youtube #anchorfm #bitchute #rumble #mikewagner #themikewagnershow #mikewagnersoundhoose #themikewagnershowsoundhoose --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/themikewagnershow/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/themikewagnershow/support

Alt.pop-punk inspired Soundhoose talk about their latest release “Craniotomy” featuring “Loner”, “Just a name”, “Runner”, “Addicted”, “Psych”, “Devil's Angel”, etc., and unapologetically declare their personal vendetta on mental warfare, breaking the stigma and ignorance around the topic that's been neglected but rages in all! Brandon Smith (aka Mr. Bad Luck) and Jeremy Bauer stress the importance of mental health and protecting all life plus their cause at www.jedfoundation.org, and discuss their previous releases “Quarantine Psycho”, “Mr. Bad Luck” plus featured in numerous publications and performed at the Whisky-A-Go-Go, Viper Room, Molly Malone's, The Mint and more! Check out the amazing Soundhoose and their latest on all streaming platforms and www.soundhoose.comtoday! #soundhoose #craniotomy #brandonsmith #mrbadluck #jeremybaure #mentalhealth #jedfoundation #quarantinepsycho #whiskyagogo #iheartradio #spreaker #spotify #applemusic #youtube #anchorfm #bitchute #rumble #mikewagner #themikewagnershow #mikewagnersoundhoose #themikewagnershowsoundhoose --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/themikewagnershow/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/themikewagnershow/support

Amber and Ashley talk about what has gone on while they took their long break from recording the show. Amber shares what she has learned throughout this ongoing recovery process. The importance of trusting God with everything because you have absolutely no control. Follow the link to help support Amber after her failed Craniotomy. Ambers Go Fund me RENEW 127 Project Follow us on Instagram Music by Ooyy and T-shirts and Sweats Licensed under https://www.epidemicsound.com/music/featured/ Start your own podcast today. https://anchor.fm --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

The girls are back from their long but necessary break! They talk about their low-key New Years, New Years kisses and all. Amber confesses that she doesn't likes beer breath kisses. She tells Ashley how she's still searching for a cowboy in Nashville. They disagree on Amber loving country music and Ashley not liking country music. Amber has come to the realization that her love life is like a country song after she recently reconnected with an ex. She questions the type of girls that her exes date after her. Amber puts Ashley in the hot seat and asks about her exes. They both discuss if copying is really a form of flattery. Follow the link to help support Amber after her failed Craniotomy. Ambers Go Fund me RENEW 127 Project Follow us on Instagram Music by Ooyy and T-shirts and Sweats Licensed under https://www.epidemicsound.com/music/featured/ Start your own podcast today. https://anchor.fm --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Speech Language Pathology: Continuing Education Courses by SLP Nerdcast Course Title: Life After a Craniotomy: Supporting Patients and Families in the Healing ProcessGet .1 ASHA CEUs and visit the full course landing page here.Earning Speech-Language Pathology CEUs Online is Simplified with SLP Nerdcast. On SLP Nerdcast you'll find SLP Continuing Education Courses, Masterclasses and Clinical Resources. To learn more about our services visit ▶ https://bit.ly/SLPNERDCAST To learn more about our membership and save 10% on your first year of membership visit ▶ https://bit.ly/SLPNerdcastMembership use code “YouTubeNerd” to save.

Our 1 year anniversary episode is finally here! We are so excited to have made it this far and that we have such amazing listeners who come back every week! Thank you so much for all your support this year! This week Amber and Ashley feel nostalgic with the recent celebrity deaths of Aaron Carter and Jason David Frank (green/white power ranger) Ashley brings up this whole Candace Cameron Bure fiasco that is happening right now. They dissect what everyone has said on either side and discuss. It's always good to know both sides before jumping to conclusions. They go through all the assumptions and questions sent in over the last week and answer them. They also share a big announcement at the end of the episode. Follow the link to help support Amber after her failed Craniotomy. Ambers Go Fund me RENEW 127 Project Follow us on Instagram Music by Ooyy and T-shirts and Sweats Licensed under https://www.epidemicsound.com/music/featured/ Start your own podcast today. https://anchor.fm --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

This week Ashley and Amber are joined by Rachel Leachman of Generate Hope a non-profit organization that helps sex-trafficking victims. They talk all about Generate Hope as well as discussing how you can protect yourselves and others from being sex trafficked. To reach out to Rachel rleachman@generatehope.org To Support Generate Hope https://www.generatehope.org/ Generate Hope Amazon wish list https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/2WY96PPZB5N5W/ref=hz_ls_biz_ex? Follow the link to help support Amber after her failed Craniotomy. Ambers Go Fund me RENEW 127 Project Follow us on Instagram Music by Ooyy and T-shirts and Sweats Licensed under https://www.epidemicsound.com/music/featured/ Start your own podcast today. https://anchor.fm --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Has your plans ever not worked out? Has your life turned out completely different then when you originally thought? The ladies are joined by Pastor Ryan Ingram a local Colorado pastor to discuss how your plans for your life are more often than not completely different then what God has planned for you. They each share how that has happened in their life. Ryan speaks on his life before becoming a pastor. A child of divorce and how he turned to alcohol to cope with feelings of rejection. But God can redeem anything in your life, nothing is wasted. Join the conversation. You can reach out to Ryan at Ryan@harborchurch.life Follow the link to help support Amber after her failed Craniotomy. Ambers Go Fund me RENEW 127 Project Follow us on Instagram Music by Ooyy and T-shirts and Sweats Licensed under https://www.epidemicsound.com/music/featured/ Start your own podcast today. https://anchor.fm --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

October is Pregnancy and Infant loss awareness month Fact: 1 in 4 women will lose a baby during pregnancy, delivery, or infancy. We are joined by Ashley's good friend Alison Vergeront as she shares her emotional journey of loss. She details her 2 miscarriages and 4 pregnancy losses (at 16 weeks) over the course of twelve years. They discuss how Ashley and Alison met when Alison started a support group through the Army and the importance of finding support to help you navigate through your grief. You can reach out to Alison on Instagram @alisonfrommt Find more support: https://nationalshare.org/ Follow the link to help support Amber after her failed Craniotomy. Ambers Go Fund me RENEW 127 Project Follow us on Instagram Music by Ooyy and T-shirts and Sweats Licensed under https://www.epidemicsound.com/music/featured/ Start your own podcast today. https://anchor.fm --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Starting this season of in a big way! This week Amber and Ashley are joined by fellow Podcaster Becky Ykema host of Darling: Confessions of a Former Megachurch Singer, Worship Leader, and Coach. Together they dissect the world of "Worship Culture." Why it's so different and complicated then any other ministries within the church. A performance or worship? The workings behind the scenes that can often lead to church hurt. Amber and Ashley both shares parts of their stories with Becky. Follow Becky: IG: @Bykema @Darlingthepodcast www.Beckyykema.com Follow the link to help support Amber after her failed Craniotomy. Ambers Go Fund me RENEW 127 Project Follow us on Instagram Music by Ooyy and T-shirts and Sweats Licensed under https://www.epidemicsound.com/music/featured/ Start your own podcast today. https://anchor.fm --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

It's our 50th episode!! Surprise another “Mean Girls” reference. Is slutty fairies a real costume? Amber and Ashley reminisce about their last Halloween together. Ashley remembers when she tried to dress up as a punk rocker and it didn't translate well. DIY couples and family costumes ideas and how the kids don't want to participate anymore. Ashley shares why she doesn't watch Horror movies anymore. She shares all her real life ghost stories that lead her to quit cold turkey. Amber jumps in with her stories and they swear to only watch family friendly Halloween movies. They list all their favorite Halloween movies. Enjoy this "spooky" episode! Follow the link to help support Amber after her failed Craniotomy. Ambers Go Fund me RENEW 127 Project Follow us on Instagram Music by Ooyy and T-shirts and Sweats Licensed under https://www.epidemicsound.com/music/featured/ Start your own podcast today. https://anchor.fm --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Ashley's not the mean one! The girls talk about about their weird sense of humor and clarify their friendship. They talk about how people can perceive people in the wrong way and assume the worst about you. Ashley tells Amber about some recent drama at her daughter's orthodontist appointment. They discuss if you should let those types of things roll off your back or stick up for your kids. Should you be a "Karen"? What do you do when your kid gets left out? Ashley asks Amber about those banned skittles commercials? Have you seen them? Follow the link to help support Amber after her failed Craniotomy. Ambers Go Fund me RENEW 127 Project Follow us on Instagram Music by Ooyy and T-shirts and Sweats Licensed under https://www.epidemicsound.com/music/featured/ Start your own podcast today. https://anchor.fm --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

This weeks episode Amber surprises Ashley with some Mean Girl trivia since she is always ready with the movie quotes. They both declare themselves New Girl Super fans and take the Buzzfeed quiz. They talk about all the “adult” things they don't understand, and all the old phrases and sayings and the history behind them. Amber brings up conspiracy theories, alien abductions, possession, etc. Do Christians believe in Aliens or other life out there. Amber describes her experience at the Denver airport and all the creepy conspiracy theories surrounding it. Did the Kennedy's kill Marilyn Monroe? Is Michael Jackson alive and in hiding? What's your take? Follow the link to help support Amber after her failed Craniotomy. Ambers Go Fund me RENEW 127 Project Follow us on Instagram Music by Ooyy and T-shirts and Sweats Licensed under https://www.epidemicsound.com/music/featured/ Start your own podcast today. https://anchor.fm --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Amber and Ashley dive right in on this latest cheating scandal with Adam Levine. They talk about when they have been cheated on and what society says vs what the bible says. They discuss how common it is to cheat in the military and how Ashley and her husband safe guard their marriage. Resources: Anatomony of an Affair by Dave Carder https://www.covenanteyes.com/ Follow the link to help support Amber after her failed Craniotomy. Ambers Go Fund me RENEW 127 Project Follow us on Instagram Music by Ooyy and T-shirts and Sweats Licensed under https://www.epidemicsound.com/music/featured/ Start your own podcast today. https://anchor.fm --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Weighted blankets? Do they really help with anxiety and insomnia? Ashley discusses all the suggestions she has gotten for her and her kids that will help with those things. Amber just wants a good nights sleep like she's in a hotel. Ashley brings up all those tell all social media accounts that give you the horror stories of hotels. Amber talks about how things the struggles she has dealt with as a single mom her sons entire life. Multiple jobs, finding childcare, unsolicited advice. Amber shares her experience with daycare for her son. They get into their worst jobs ever. Follow the link to help support Amber after her failed Craniotomy. Ambers Go Fund me RENEW 127 Project Follow us on Instagram Music by Ooyy and T-shirts and Sweats Licensed under https://www.epidemicsound.com/music/featured/ Start your own podcast today. https://anchor.fm --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

This week Ashley and Amber share all about their holiday weekend. A Imagine Dragons concert, wineries and Amber's birthday celebration. Ashley talks about her recent viral video on instagram and all the different, crazy comments from random strangers. Ashley asks Amber about her past dates. If she ever ditched anyone for a weird reason. It jogs Ashley's memory and she shares a story from high school. Follow the link to help support Amber after her failed Craniotomy. Ambers Go Fund me RENEW 127 Project Follow us on Instagram Music by Ooyy and T-shirts and Sweats Licensed under https://www.epidemicsound.com/music/featured/ Start your own podcast today. https://anchor.fm --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Have you ever wanted to be a fly on the wall during neuro surgeries? Or maybe even scrub in on an awake craniotomy? My guest this week does exactly that, and is looking to teach SLPs how to integrate into their OR team as well! The post 248 – SLPs Scrubbing In: Awake Craniotomy from the SLP Perspective – Joel Starner, MA-SLP appeared first on Swallow Your Pride Podcast.

Have you ever wanted to be a fly on the wall during neuro surgeries? Or maybe even scrub in on an awake craniotomy? My guest this week does exactly that, and is looking to teach SLPs how to integrate into their OR team as well! The post 248 – SLPs Scrubbing In: Awake Craniotomy from the SLP Perspective – Joel Starner, MA-SLP appeared first on Swallow Your Pride Podcast.

Have you ever assumed something about a person that was completely wrong? How that can lead to miscommunication in relationships. Amber and Ashley talk about perception and how we can't be ruled by feelings in certain situations. Ashley makes the jump to perception of dreams. The girls discuss all their weird dreams they've had. If God gives us prophetic dreams or not. They search online to find out the meaning of dreams. Follow the link to help support Amber after her failed Craniotomy. Ambers Go Fund me RENEW 127 Project Follow us on Instagram Music by Ooyy and T-shirts and Sweats Licensed under https://www.epidemicsound.com/music/featured/ Start your own podcast today. https://anchor.fm --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Have you ever pretended you had life together when you just were not even close? This week Ashley talks about how she is just surviving while her hubby is gone. She shares how hard it is living away from a military base where people don't really understand the military life. Ashley asks Amber about how she is feeling about the anniversary of her stroke being this week. Which leads to the girls talking about the anniversary of Ashley's dads death. Who died of a stroke the same week as Amber's five years earlier. They discuss how they both use tv and movies to escape the realities of life and discuss what they've been watching lately. Which leads to them discussing child stars and how strange the whole thing is. Tik Tok moms putting their kids on videos and the new IOS update that allows your precise location to be viewed. Follow the link to help support Amber after her failed Craniotomy. Ambers Go Fund me RENEW 127 Project Follow us on Instagram Music by Ooyy and T-shirts and Sweats Licensed under https://www.epidemicsound.com/music/featured/ Start your own podcast today. https://anchor.fm --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

In this episode, I talk with Olivia Leow, who experienced an awake craniotomy for resection of a brain tumor surrounded by language areas in her left posterior temporal lobe.Vanderbilt Brain Cancer Patient Assistance Fund, established by Olivia LeowDiachek E, Morgan VL, Wilson SM. Adaptive language mapping paradigms for presurgical language mapping. AJNR Am J Neuroradiol 2022; in press. [pdf]Wilson SM, Yen M, Eriksson DK. An adaptive semantic matching paradigm for reliable and valid language mapping in individuals with aphasia. Hum Brain Mapp 2018; 39: 3285-307. [doi]Yen M, DeMarco AT, Wilson SM. Adaptive paradigms for mapping phonological regions in individual participants. NeuroImage 2019; 189: 368-79. [doi]Wilson SM, Lam D, Babiak M, Perry D, Shih T, Hess CP, Berger MS, Chang EF. Transient aphasias after left hemisphere resective surgery. J Neurosurg 2015; 123: 581-93. [doi]McCarron A, Chavez A, Babiak MC, Berger MS, Chang EF, Wilson SM. Connected speech in transient aphasias after left hemisphere resective surgery. Aphasiology 2017; 31: 1266-81. [doi]Penfield W, Roberts L. Speech and Brain-Mechanisms. Princeton University Press; 1959. [book]Long Monday by John PrineClay Pigeons by John Prine

This weeks episode Amber and Ashley catch up on all they have missed with each other. Sending the kids back to school. Do you cry anymore when they leave or celebrate the alone time? Amber shares her funny but embarrassing story from her sons first week of his senior year. Ashley talks about her new position at her job and how it makes her appreciate teachers so much more. They discuss birthdays and party planning. When is it that you stop caring about your own birthday? Ashley updates on how it's been with her hubby away for a military school. She shares about their funny first attempt at a long-distance date night. Follow the link to help support Amber after her failed Craniotomy. Ambers Go Fund me RENEW 127 Project Follow us on Instagram Music by Ooyy and T-shirts and Sweats Licensed under https://www.epidemicsound.com/music/featured/ Start your own podcast today. https://anchor.fm --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

This week we have part 2 on body image. Amber and Ashley continue to unpack on this issue. They discuss their own insecurities and where they are at confident wise. Why is it so hard to take a compliment? They talk about where their body issues even came from. They talk about their bad eating habits and weird foods they ate as a child. Ashley brings up how the enemy whispers in our ears the bad things we think about ourselves and our bodies. They challenge each other and their listeners to make notes on their mirrors of encouraging and uplifting bible verses to look at every day this week. Every time you start to feel bad about yourself. Follow along on Instagram this week for bible verses. Follow the link to help support Amber after her failed Craniotomy. Ambers Go Fund me RENEW 127 Project Follow us on Instagram Music by Ooyy and T-shirts and Sweats Licensed under https://www.epidemicsound.com/music/featured/ Start your own podcast today. https://anchor.fm --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Oops! We had so much to say on this subject that we accidentally recorded two episodes. On today's episode Amber talks about her experience with breast implants. What made her want to get them? Does she have any regrets? The girls talk about the road from magazines and television to social media and the negative effect it has on our minds and how it attributes to our body image, even as adults. Ashley shares a time when she had a wake up call from a Dr about her health. Come back next week for Part 2 of this episode Follow the link to help support Amber after her failed Craniotomy. Ambers Go Fund me RENEW 127 Project Follow us on Instagram Music by Ooyy and T-shirts and Sweats Licensed under https://www.epidemicsound.com/music/featured/ Start your own podcast today. https://anchor.fm --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Ashley and Amber check off one thing off their bucket list. They made it to the Pat Benatar concert! Was it worth it? Better than camping? They continue on talking about the rest of Ashley's latest visit to Nashville. What kind of adventures did they get into this time? Amber tells Ashley some things she never knew about her past. Now with Ashley's hubby gone; she tells Amber about all the problems that happened as soon as he left. Follow the link to help support Amber after her failed Craniotomy. Ambers Go Fund me RENEW 127 Project Follow us on Instagram Music by Ooyy and T-shirts and Sweats Licensed under https://www.epidemicsound.com/music/featured/ Start your own podcast today. https://anchor.fm --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

The girls are joined by brand collab coach and content creator Kahlea Nicole. She shares her personal testimony of coming from a broken home. She dealt with bullying in school that eventually lead to depression, anxiety and ultimately suicidal thoughts. Kahlea talks about how she started her business at just 17 years old. Ready to take on the world fresh out of college with her thriving business Kahlea found herself struggling and was forced to move back home. She shares how God used that to completely transform her life and relationships for the better. Now she has a new lease on life and her business with keeping God in the center of it. Follow Kahlea on Instagram and find more information on her website at www.kahleanicole.com Follow the link to help support Amber after her failed Craniotomy. Ambers Go Fund me RENEW 127 Project Follow us on Instagram Music by Ooyy and T-shirts and Sweats Licensed under https://www.epidemicsound.com/music/featured/ Start your own podcast today. https://anchor.fm --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

This week Amber and Ashley get real about how they find themselves in yet another stressful situation; and discuss how they deal with stress and how they should deal with stress. Amber talks about how she feels abnormal for not being angry with God about her circumstances. They both talk about staying positive through stressful times. Ashley talks about her husband being gone for the Army for a year. Amber talks about her serious financial issues. Follow the link to help support Amber after her failed Craniotomy. Ambers Go Fund me RENEW 127 Project Follow us on Instagram Music by Ooyy and T-shirts and Sweats Licensed under https://www.epidemicsound.com/music/featured/ Start your own podcast today. https://anchor.fm --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

It's been a short minute since our last episode! Wow! But we are here to do a little recap and tell you what BIG things are coming next! Can't wait to share all the juicy news with you. Make sure to follow our nomadic Overlanding journey on our Instagram page @getting_lost_with_you We are making BIG shifts and some not-so-big shifts with the Sacred Spaces Podcast.  Listen in to find out more.  But...if you're super excited about our big news...check this out!  And boy do we have more to come that we have yet to share with you!Produced by: Casey TravisMusic by: Dillon Weber. You can contact him through his Instagram page @ionisfear.

This weeks episode Ashley and Amber catch up after not talking for a couple of weeks. Ashley tells Amber all about being guilt tripped by everyone at home about skipping out on a camping trip for a concert. Which is a bucket list concert for her. They talk about all the weird and funny things that happened on Ashley's recent road trip including triple digit temps, ice cream sandwiches, kids getting lost in hotels etc. Ashley updates Amber on her summer reading, and they talk about their upcoming trip together. Follow the link to help support Amber after her failed Craniotomy. Ambers Go Fund me RENEW 127 Project Follow us on Instagram Music by Ooyy and T-shirts and Sweats Licensed under https://www.epidemicsound.com/music/featured/ Start your own podcast today. https://anchor.fm --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

On this weeks episode we are joined by worship leader Jordan Naegle. Jordan takes the girls through his experience in private christian school all his life, his time in a successful band that ultimately lead to his position now as a worship leader. His time was almost cut short as he found himself in a near death experience when the church van he was driving slid on black ice and flipped with him inside. Ashley talks about the kind of toll that can take on a person especially a believer. What kind of lessons does God teach you through that? Nothing is by mistake. Follow Jordan on instagram Follow the link to help support Amber after her failed Craniotomy. Ambers Go Fund me RENEW 127 Project Follow us on Instagram Music by Ooyy and T-shirts and Sweats Licensed under https://www.epidemicsound.com/music/featured/ Start your own podcast today. https://anchor.fm --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

:::DISCLAIMER::: This episode graphically details abortion. If you feel you might be triggered please skip this episode. But we encourage you to try to listen because it is a beautiful testimony of God's grace and love. This week the girls are joined by Amber's mom CJ. CJ shares her story about having four abortions from the ages of 16 to 23 years old. Ashley and Amber ask her all about her mindset at that time. What lead her to make the decision to have an abortion. What her family life was like, what kind of other choices was she given? This episode is all about CJ's personal story of abortion and her journey afterward to giving birth to three more children and later finding a job as pregnancy crisis center in California. Counseling and educating women of all ages through a difficult and scary time. For additional help and information: Pregnancy Resources To contact CJ you can email her at Uncommonfaithpodcast@gmail.com Follow the link to help support Amber after her failed Craniotomy. Ambers Go Fund me RENEW 127 Project Follow us on Instagram Music by Ooyy and T-shirts and Sweats Licensed under https://www.epidemicsound.com/music/featured/ Start your own podcast today. https://anchor.fm --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

This weeks episode Ashley catches Amber up on her summer road trip and how traveling this summer is hard with all the inflation. The girls discuss all the latest hollywood news from the last week. Johnny Depp/Amber Heard trial conclusion, Britney's wedding, Kardashian drama etc. They talk about how social media is still running rampant and motivating Ashley to finish all her projects including becoming a plant lady (if she could keep them alive). They also reminisce about summer camp days and Amber's first crush. Follow the link to help support Amber after her failed Craniotomy. Ambers Go Fund me RENEW 127 Project Follow us on Instagram Music by Ooyy and T-shirts and Sweats Licensed under https://www.epidemicsound.com/music/featured/ Start your own podcast today. https://anchor.fm --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

This week we paired Ashley's love of movies and Amber's love of cars and invited fellow podcaster Pete Abeyta from “middle class film class” on to get all nostalgic. They discuss their favorite movies of all time and what movies have not stood the test of time. Amber's choice may be surprising. The end it on some fun car and movie trivia. Check it out to see who wins. Follow Pete on instagram Twitter Check out Pete's Podcast Middle Class Film Class and follow them on social media https://twitter.com/PodcastMCFC https://www.instagram.com/middleclassfilmclass/ Follow the link to help support Amber after her failed Craniotomy. Ambers Go Fund me RENEW 127 Project Follow us on Instagram Music by Ooyy and T-shirts and Sweats Licensed under https://www.epidemicsound.com/music/featured/ Start your own podcast today. https://anchor.fm --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Have you ever asked yourself "Why" you believe what you believe? This week Amber and Ashley are joined by author Wendy Cunningham. They discuss her book "What if you're wrong". A riveting testimony on how Wendy went from confident Atheist to a believer in God. She details how she spent 25 years of her life living as if God didn't exist, then to be completely transformed by God. To find Wendy's amazing book and to learn more about her. Check out her website. https://gainingmyperspective.com/about/ Follow the link to help support Amber after her failed Craniotomy. Ambers Go Fund me RENEW 127 Project Follow us on Instagram Music by Ooyy and T-shirts and Sweats Licensed under https://www.epidemicsound.com/music/featured/ Start your own podcast today. https://anchor.fm --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Wrapping up our month of Moms with Elaine Kochanowicz podcast host and author of "Mom of six dies laughing". Have you ever felt mom guilt? Have you felt stuck as a mom and want to runaway to your car or closet and eat a bunch of junk food? We've all been there. Elaine a mom of 6 children shares all the wisdom, fails, etc she has learned along the way. She shares how common it is to be judged on having so many kids these days. They discuss how to maintain one on one relationships with each of your children and how important that is no matter how many children you have. Elaine details how she got her motivation to write a book, start a podcast and get into in triathlons. To get your copy of "Mom of six dies laughing" and join in on one of Elaine's mom challenges check out her website https://emaginemom.com/about Follow Elaine on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/emaginemom/ Follow the link to help support Amber after her failed Craniotomy. Ambers Go Fund me RENEW 127 Project Follow us on Instagram Music by Ooyy and T-shirts and Sweats Licensed under https://www.epidemicsound.com/music/featured/ Start your own podcast today. https://anchor.fm --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

This week we are joined by Brisa Alfaro a Pontine Stroke Survivor (also known as Pons stroke) that resulted in Locked in Syndrome. Left with a less than 1% chance of recovery, she refused and fought to not let this be the end of her journey in life. Overcoming seemingly impossible odds, she has now made it her mission in life to help others who also feel "locked in" their circumstances. Brisa has shared her story on such platforms such as the Washington Post, The Doctors TV Show, Woman's World Magazine, Lisa Nichols stages as well as multiple stages around the globe. She is not only a survivor, but also an International #1 Best Selling Author and Speaker of the book "Limitless" Amber and Ashley discuss all about her miracle recover and Amber and Brisa bond over there shared experiences. For more info on Brisa visit her website at https://www.begreaterofficial.com/brisa-alfaro and follow her on Instagram Follow the link to help support Amber after her failed Craniotomy. Ambers Go Fund me RENEW 127 Project Follow us on Instagram Music by Ooyy and T-shirts and Sweats Licensed under https://www.epidemicsound.com/music/featured/ Start your own podcast today. https://anchor.fm --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

It's a hard-knock life out there for moms, right? Raising teens is no easy thing and Amber and Ashley are in the thick of it. Amber with her seventeen year old son and Ashley with her thirteen year old daughter. They contemplate how their childhood is very different than how they grew up. They were there right at the end of a generation that rode bikes around the neighborhood and stayed out until dinner time with not a care in the world. They were there the internet was becoming a huge thing. Chat rooms, online blogs, MTV, flip phones, MySpace then Facebook. Entirely different childhoods then what their own kids face today. Amber shares how she ended up parenting not too differently from her mom. Do we still end up like our parents anyway? Follow the link to help support Amber after her failed Craniotomy. Ambers Go Fund me RENEW 127 Project Follow us on Instagram Music by Ooyy and T-shirts and Sweats Licensed under https://www.epidemicsound.com/music/featured/ Start your own podcast today. https://anchor.fm --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app