Podcasts about get over i got it

You're going to get so much out of this episode with 7 essential questions to ask yourself as you refresh your brand story. Whether you're leaving a corporate job to become an entrepreneur, looking to expand your existing brand, aspiring to be a speaker or thought leader, or a corporate professional ready to transition to the next level, this conversation is for you. My guest is Elayne Fluker, who is an experienced coach to executive women and a prolific podcaster (over 700 episodes), with her podcast called Support is Sexy. Elayne is also the author of “Get Over ‘I Got It': How to Stop Playing Superwoman, Get Support and Remember that Having It All Doesn't Mean Doing It All Alone” – published by HarperCollins Leadership and named a Forbes Book of the Month. Elayne and I share with you how you can re-brand your brand with 7 essential questions. We explore actionable strategies for reinventing your brand in today's ever-changing landscape and discuss how we've both helped our clients successfully navigate their rebranding journeys.  Our conversation is packed with insights and inspiration to help you elevate your brand and make your next move with confidence. This episode is the audio from a live show we did on September 10, 2024. You can watch the video at https://youtube.com/live/43vUGQ2qQsU.    Links: Show notes at https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/410/  Elayne's website: https://www.elaynefluker.com  Discover your Speaker Archetype by taking our free quiz at https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/quiz/ Enroll in our Thought Leader Academy: https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/academy/  Connect on LinkedIn: Carol Cox = https://www.linkedin.com/in/carolcox Elayne Fluker (guest) = https://www.linkedin.com/in/elaynefluker/  Related Podcast Episodes: Episode 408: Connecting Your Personal Brand and Your Thought Leadership Episode 340: Can I Tell It's You? What a Brand Voice Is and Why You Need One Episode 186: From Hashtag to Podcast to Book: Developing Your Thought Leadership Platform with Elayne Fluker    

***SUBSCRIBE TO THE FASTEST-GROWING NETWORK UP ON GAME PRESENTS PODCAST CHANNEL*** https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/up-on-game-presents/id1596136129 “Sometimes, the support doesn't come from the universe, from our husbands, from whoever, because you didn't ask them.” - Elayne Fluker Welcome to Stay a While with Tommi Vincent! Aren't you tired of doing it all by yourself? You've carried the whole team on your back for too long - whether that team is your family, your work, or others' problems - and it's time to put it all down. On this episode, Elayne Fluker host of Support Is Sexy Podcast drops by to share some pointers on letting go of the Superwoman cape. You don't need it because it is wearing you OUT, sis! Take some notes and remember you deserve to be supported. Workshop Facilitator, Speaker and Leadership Development Consultant for corporations, organizations and professional women. Creates engaging workshops that shift the mindsets of professional women around the stigma of asking for support and empower them to effectively make "empowered asks" to achieve for success, fulfillment and work-life harmony. Companies get actionable solutions for creating a more supportive and psychologically safe work culture. ➜ Speaker at the UN, LinkedIn, Columbia, NYU, Spelman College, Howard University, the Women Presidents' Organization, Essence Fest, National Urban League and more ➜ Facilitated 200+ in-person workshops in the U.S., Spain, South Africa and Morocco and virtually online, including leadership development and DEI workshops for global firms and Fortune 50 companies ➜ Interviewed and coached more than 500+ women around the world about challenges they encounter when asking for support. ➜ Featured on "Today" show, "Nightline," "Extra," CNN, VH1, BET, Sirius XM and in Forbes, Essence, and 100+ podcasts ➜ Author of the book, “Get Over ‘I Got It” published by HarperCollins Leadership Specializes in topics related to: Professional women, Women leaders within organizations, Black women. In this episode we cover [00:01 - 05:05] It Is Alright to Take the Cape Off [05:06 - 10:06] Food and Happiness: Building Long Lasting Memories [10:07 - 31:18] “I Got It” Syndrome - Why We Struggle to Ask For Support [31:19 - 41:48] The 5 Rs: How to Make an Empowered Ask [41:49 - 51:06] Crafting the Safe Environment for Vulnerability Warriors [51:07 - 56:13] Closing Segment  Key Quotes “Pause for a second and take a deep breath and say, ‘Am I really creating space for support in my life?' And sometimes, usually, the answer is no. And it might not be something that is deliberate or conscious. It might be just because you're moving so fast.” - Elayne Fluker “Sometimes, ask isn't ‘I need support'. Sometimes the ask is ‘I need space,' or ‘I need time,' or ‘I need rest'.” - Elayne Fluker Connect with Elayne Fluker Book: https://www.amazon.com/Get-Over-Got-Superwoman-Remember/dp/1400213797 Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/support-is-sexy-podcast-with-elayne-fluker-interviews/id1129580395 Connect with Me!  You can reach Tommi on Instagram @cheftommiv Visit https://vincentcountry.com and get connected with us on Vincent Country's Instagram @vincentcountry  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This episode started last year. I was stuck (head and emotions), said nothing, made no money and did not ask for help. The source of my life event became apparent while I was guesting on a podcast (the wonderment of a safe place). By that time, I had asked for help with my business which is now Go Beyond The Interview LLC.  I guess that God, the source, the universe knew that I would need a backup to reinforce the seriousness of not asking for help, being honest. So along comes Elayne Fluker's book Get Over "I Got It." The Audible Books platform and I became family for three days as I devoured this reinforcement to what I had just gone through. So a word from now, a much wiser woman, "ask for help when you need it." Moving from employee to entrepreneur is a turbulent uncharted region. You will not understand the taxes (don't get me started on that tax $%& Tiffany P!), marketing, social media, and modify the business structure without help. No shame. The shame is in staying stuck, having a pity party, watch the money you made evaporate because you are in a place of not making a penny (can I be transparent here). Does anybody else feel me? Let me hear from you!  j1Kh6ExpTiGq2xy4Y45u

Ladies, it's time to let go of the need to have all your shit together. In this episode of The Unconditionally Worthy Podcast, I welcome Elayne Fluker, Speaker, Author, and Host of the Support is Sexy podcast. Elayne's new book, Get Over "I Got It", encourages ambitious women to learn how to embrace support not only for their success, but also for their peace of mind. Together, we explore what it means to overcome the “I got it” syndrome and how that intersects with self-worth.IN THIS EPISODE, WE TALK ABOUT…Elayne's self-worth journey: Not knowing she had self-worth issues, attempting suicide at 15 years old, & learning to live with depression and anxiety.Consciously using and not using social media, keeping in mind its negative effects on mental health.The intersectionality of self-worth, “I got it” syndrome, and intergenerational trauma in BIPOC families.Elayne's experience with “I got it” syndrome & How she overcame it as an adult.How to implement the acronym H.E.L.P. to embrace and invite support into your life.Stream & Download The Unconditionally Worthy Podcast NOW for FREE on Apple Podcast, Google, Stitcher, Pandora, and Spotify!To connect further with Elayne Fluker:Visit her website: www.elaynefluker.comFollow her on Instagram: www.instagram.com/elayneflukerFollow her on Twitter: www.twitter.com/elaynefluker Connect with her on Facebook: www.facebook.com/elayneflukerConnect with her on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/elaynefluker Listen to Support is Sexy Podcast: www.elaynefluker.com/podcast Pre-order Get Over “I Got It”: www.getoverigotit.comTo connect further with me:Visit my website: www.dradiagooden.com Connect with me on Facebook: www.facebook.com/dradiagooden Follow me on Instagram: www.instagram.com/dradiagooden Connect with me on Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/adia-gooden-4b26751b Watch the full interview on YouTube: https://youtu.be/lJmfimAckII 

On this week's 51%, we take a break to focus ourselves. Dermatologist Dr. Jean Buhac offers up some tips to better love the skin you're in. Dr. Hida Nierenburg discusses how to ward off headaches and migraines this holiday season. And Dr. Sharon Ufberg speaks with author Elayne Fluker about the importance of asking for help, and how doing it all doesn't have to mean doing it all alone. Guests: Dr. Hida Nierenburg, director of headache medicine at Nuvance Health; Dr. Jean Buhac, dermatologist with Saratoga Dermatology and Medical Spa; Dr. Sharon Ufberg, host of Force of Nature; Elayne Fluker, author of Get Over "I Got It:" How to Stop Playing Superwoman, Get Support, and Remember That Having It All Doesn't Mean Doing It All Alone 51% is a national production of WAMC Northeast Public Radio. Our host is Jesse King, our executive producer is Dr. Alan Chartock, and our theme is "Lolita" by the Albany-based artist Girl Blue. Follow Along You're listening to 51%, a WAMC production dedicated to women's issues and experiences. Thanks for tuning in, I'm Jesse King. We've got another trio of health-related discussions for you today. The holiday season can be a particularly stressful time for us all, and in between shopping, and work, and planning family occasions, it's important not to let your health go to the wayside, and to ask for help if you need it (that's something even I need to remind myself from time to time). So that's what we're doing today. Our first guest is Dr. Hida Nierenburg, director of headache medicine at Nuvance Health. Dr. Nierenburg is double board-certified in neurology, and while headache medicine might seem like a pretty specialized field, she says it's certainly a much-needed one - especially during the holiday season. She says the holidays bring a perfect storm of migraine triggers. What are common triggers for headaches and migraines? So common stranger triggers for headaches and migraines: stress is a big one, doing a lot of things all at once. Certain foods for some patients, stinky cheeses, nitrates, certain seasonings. For some patients, too much sugar. Alcohols as well. Lack of food, lack of sleep, so especially going constantly. I always counsel my patients about triggers, and not everybody gets predictable triggers, but if you have predictable triggers you can avoid or minimize [them], so they don't cause migraines. What exactly is happening when someone's having a headache or migraine? Regular headaches, a lot of people get, so it's more like pressure [in the head], and you don't get sick. When you have a migraine, it's a headache that makes you sick. Lights bother you, smells, noises, you get fatigue, nauseous, and it also can cause problems with concentration. Usually, the signal for migraine starts in the back of the brain – the area that controls vision, that's why some people see colors or shapes. The best way I explained it to my patients is that it's a chemical struggle in the brain. Arteries expand and they release pain-causing chemicals. Other arteries in the brain get activated that cause all the other symptoms with migraine, and this settles on a nerve called the trigeminal nerve, which is the nerve that carries sensation to the face – but it connects to pain pathways for head and neck pain. So is it normal on some level to get headaches, or even a migraine from time to time? At what point do you seek treatment? So migraines are less common. Regular headaches, tension type headaches, are the most common type of headache. 89 percent of people get it. Usually, migraines are a little bit tougher. We recommend someone to see somebody, because the pain can be very disabling. Actually, migraines are the second cause of disability in the world. So if you're having one migraine a month, but it's less than three days or four days, and it's making you miss work or school, then that is something you should see somebody [for], because a lot of times the over-the-counter medications do not work. Same thing with regular headaches. I see many patients with regular tension-type headaches, but they have been very frequent, over-the-counter medications don't cut it, and if you're taking too much over-the-counter medications, sometimes it can make the headaches worse. When you're looking at treatments for migraines and headaches, what are some of the treatments that you get? So there's different classes of treatments that we have, and it's kind of like an art. Every patient is different. In the Headache Society, we always say no migraine patients are alike. So, we have oral medications. We have devices that help for breaking a migraine. We have injection medications. We may use Botox when people have more than 15 headache days per month. So it's always a different class of medications, and it's a discussion with the patient about other conditions. They may have medication side effects – I have a lot of patients that tell me, ‘I don't want any medicines,' and well, if you have high frequency migraines, it's a little bit tougher to treat without medications, but there are options I tell my patients [so they] don't suffer. I have the conversation – if there's some supplements that can help, but if the supplements aren't helping them I go to oral medication. Can migraines be tied to any other issues or things that people should be worried about? Sometimes with autoimmune conditions, but sometimes it's incidentally. When we see migraines and other [things] like seizures, it's usually coincidence. Migraines are usually a silent disease, because patients look normal or [if you] look up imaging, it's normal, but we understand a lot about the pain and the severity of migraines. Is there a difference between the way migraines might pop up in women versus men? Usually they're about the same. Actually, migraines before puberty, they're more common in boys, and after puberty [they're more common in] women. [But] men still get migraines. Usually there's a particular migraine that women get that is PMS migraines, migraines around the menstrual cycle. Those tend to be a little bit more disabling or more severe, [with] body pains, cramps. But other types of migraines could be just the same as men, too. As people are planning for the holiday season, what are your tips for making plans in order to help avoid migraines? So definitely buying gifts can be stressful, so plan ahead, online shopping. Other things like be aware of the foods that they might be serving in a place, certain alcohols if people want to drink, try to be well-rested. Part of what the headache doctors say [is] we want people to enjoy life at the fullest without migraines interfering with your life. So [if] you have a lot of triggers that not always you can avoid, then we recommend starting daily medications or preventive medication or something, to have something handy as needed. Our next guest is Dr. Jean Buhac, a board-certified dermatologist who has been operating out of her practice, in Saratoga Springs, New York, for more than 20 years. She's quite an accomplished person, who first got her Bachelor's degree in economics at Cornell University before diving into her passion for medicine and pursuing her medical degree from Tufts University School of Medicine. She credits her many professors and her faculty peers at the University of Iowa hospitals and Mass General Hospital with sculpting her into the dermatologist she is today. At Saratoga Dermatology and Medical Spa, she treats patients of all ages, races and genders for a range of complex skin conditions and anti-aging procedures. What issues do your patients usually come to you with? I see all ages, and I see a ton of skin cancer every single day. A lot of pre-cancers, which are called actinic keratosis, and quite a bit of melanoma. People think that anything that's raised is a problem – however, an important take-home message is that moles that are flat are usually the problem. And they may not even itch, so melanoma's very visual. You would typically observe a mole and it will not have a nice, uniform color, or nice, even edge to it. What typically happens is, if you're watching something over time, that particular lesion would take on additional characteristics where it's growing outward in its diameter. And then it gets an irregular edge, maybe a shadow, and it gets different colors. It's not symmetric, it's very agated. Those [signs] are really important. I mean, people need to look at their entire skin surface, look with a mirror, check their backs, their feet, their hands, the scalp. So we do a full skin check to make sure that they have nothing that's evolving. But [with] early detection, it's the most curable cancer that we have today. And the other two types of main categories of skin cancer are basal cell cancers, which typically arise like a pimple that doesn't heal. So we tell patients, if anything lasts for two months or more, to go and have that investigated. It can also look like a patch of eczema. So anything that's a flat, pink, scaly patch, [you] shouldn't assume that it's just a little patch of dry skin if it's still persisting, despite over-the-counter use of cortisone, or any appropriate treatment of eczema. If it's still there [you need] to have that checked. And then the third would be squamous cell cancer. Those can look warty: they're red, they can be very tender. All of these that I've just mentioned are typically seen on the sun-exposed areas of the body. How early should people start looking at these things? As a matter of fact, I did a biopsy on an 11-year-old boy today. So melanoma can occur as young as that. And I've seen young women who have done tanning booths in their early 20s. With melanoma, anyone is a candidate for good skin check. But the people that should be more aware or pressing to get in for a check would be those with large numbers of moles. I know for individuals, sometimes they think freckles are moles, but if they're not sure, they shouldn't try to stay at home and decide for themselves. They should talk to their primary care doctor, or reach out to a dermatologist for a visit. Or if there's a family history, of course, if there's a family history of melanoma, or even basal cell / squamous cell [cancer], because a lot of these will cluster and people have more than one type of cancer as well. You mentioned tanning booths. Are there any other kinds of activities that can contribute to skin cancers? Smoking, excessive smoking. There's environmental factors that play a role. Sun exposure is the most common and the biggest reason why people develop skin cancer. Starting at an early age, putting the SPF 50 on, reapplying every couple of hours, using protective clothing, avoiding the high peak [of the day] from like 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. or 10 a.m. to 3 p.m., and protecting the skin is most important. And that is the most major anti-aging cream or therapy that we have – sunscreen. You know, if you start early and you do it, that's like the best anti-aging cream, as well as protecting against skin cancer. That goes into one of my next questions. What would you say, overall, is a good example of healthy skincare, or a skincare regimen? Because if I go on Instagram, I see a billion different things talking about like face serums or combinations of lotions to use and stuff like that, and it always makes me wonder what's a good way to go about it. Now, that's a good question. I think we're over-burdened with way too many products out there. There's basic guidelines on certain categories of things that have been proven, and researchers out there that show they are effective. So that's the main thing [to focus on], because anyone can put on their label “improves the appearance of,” but what we're really interested in is that it could help increase collagen, it stimulates collagen production, and helps with fine lines. Those categories will basically be vitamin C, which is an antioxidant, retinols, especially tretinoin, which stimulates collagen protein. Glycolic acid. But I think people should adhere to, like I said earlier, the SPF 50. And good moisturizers that are oil-free are suitable for everyone. There are other people with different types of skin conditions that benefit from certain products if they have rosacea, that are geared for sensitive skin. And there's lists of those: Cetaphil, Cerave, you know, the very common ones that are out there. Would you consider rosacea more of a medical condition or more a cosmetic concern? Well, that's very interesting how some of the diagnoses in dermatology can be interpreted in different ways. You know, there's that spectrum. So rosacea is a medical condition – they can get bumps and pimples, nodules, pustules, that can be disfiguring. It's on a spectrum, everyone's different. Some people just have mild redness. So there's different ways of approaching it. There's topical prescriptions, and oral prescriptions, as well as laser applications that can help minimize the appearance of the blood vessels on the face. I'm also just thinking about other reasons people might come in, maybe like acne or for anti-aging treatments? Yes, we see a lot of patients with acne. There's genetic components and stress components that play a role, as well as things that they eat, you know, there's inflammatory foods and junk food and whey protein. I see some athletes, they'll take whey, and then they'll get this real large nodule or cystic acne breakout. So we have to approach each one individually. And there's adult acne. There's such a spectrum, but there's multiple different treatments that are available out there that can really help. And so anyone with acne suffering at home, I feel bad for some people that they don't get the attention [they need], because they could be left with scarring, long-term scarring. What are some of those different treatments? Well, as I mentioned, tretinoin is good for wrinkles. But it also, initially, has been for acne: it helps with blackheads and whiteheads. And there's another medicine called Differin which is over-the-counter. It used to be a prescription. There's those topicals, topical antibiotic lotions, benzoyl peroxide and salicylic acids are used. And then we do oral antibiotics, more from an anti inflammatory standpoint, as opposed to really treating the bacteria. But I educate my patients, so they understand the importance of using their medication, because some expect, “Oh, I can do this for a few weeks, and I should get better.” It's very important, so they don't waste their time, that they understand that they have to invest that time. And after probably about six to eight weeks, that's when things really start working. To get to the topic of anti-aging, at what point do you usually start seeing patients for things like that? You know, it could be mid-20s, because they see a lot of images on social media, and they want the nicer, fuller lips, or they feel they should look differently than they are. Up to people who are 80/85, who I might counsel with them and say, “You know, this might not make that much of a difference.” And they'll say, “Well, I just want to look, like, 75.” So everyone has their little way of approaching things and what really bothers them. So I really listen carefully. Although we can give advice as to the global appearance in skincare from our professional point of view, I really listened to what bothers them the most so I can put it in perspective – because sometimes there are patients who maximize something that's very minimal. But I don't want to minimize their complaints, do you hear what I'm saying? And practicing medicine is a combination of art and science. We have the knowledge, the scientific knowledge, on how to approach an aging face. But I think the art is, how far do we take it? And how much is too much. Which I think brings on another philosophical question: I mean, do we do it at all? Our whole society is geared toward producing new anti-aging things, but I think there comes a time when it needs to be a combination of acceptance, and maybe treatment alleviating some of the signs of aging that are reasonable. And having a discussion is really important with patients, to see where they're at. I talk to patients and I say, “Listen, if you really want that Botox, let's go ahead and do it. And you can do it for as long as you want, if you're going through a hard time right now accepting what things look like. At some point down the road, it might be that you don't even want it anymore.” But so many times I have people who have spent a boatload of money, and then they come to the appointment. And I have to tell them, “Well, you know, there's nothing proven behind what you just purchased. But I can tell you that these certain things are really helpful for your skin, if you wanted to start with this.” And so people can end up investing too much in something that may not be therapeutic for them. Something that I've read a lot about online is “pre-juvenation,” about younger people trying particular treatments to, I guess, help ward off the signs of aging a little bit further if they can. Am I getting that right? Well, I think they may initiate some anti-aging treatments earlier, because then there'll be some benefits where they're not trying to play catch up to it. But if they simply…if you think about it, there's intrinsic aging, which is internally preprogrammed, how our genes trigger our aging as we get older. But extrinsic is from the sun. And so SPF, sunscreen is the most effective “pre-juvenation,” anti-aging treatment across the board. If they start simply with just doing that, and maybe like vitamin Cs, which are antioxidant. No excessive alcohol, eating a more plant-based diet, avoiding hormone-infused meat products and milk, dairy of that nature. That would go a very long way. Our last guest today is the host of the Support is Sexy podcast and the author of the new book, Get Over ‘I Got It:' How to Stop Playing Superwoman, Get Support, and Remember That Having It All Doesn't Mean Doing It All Alone. Elayne Fluker says ambitious women in all areas of life, whether they're at home, in the office, or in the classroom, too often feel like they're not allowed to ask for help - and that mindset can actually hold us back, and stress us out. Fluker shared her tips with Dr. Sharon Ufberg, co-founder of the California-based personal development company, Borrowed Wisdom, for her 51% segment, Force of Nature. Ufberg: How did this book come about? Fluker: I attended a workshop in 2015, I want to say. And during that time, I saw a reflection of myself and other people in that workshop who were struggling with asking for – actually, two things, Sharon: love and support. So not even just support – love and support. When I say struggling, I mean, like, boohoo crying, “Don't make me do it. I don't want to ask,” or, “I don't know how to ask.” And it was really my first time saying, “Oh, I think I have that problem, too.” But this was something I really wanted to carry with me, this idea of embracing support as something positive, as it not being something that's a weakness, or something to shy away from. And I started saying this phrase, “Support is sexy,” thinking of support in a different way: “Support is sexy. Support is sexy.” And when I would say it to other women, especially women entrepreneurs, or women who were doing just different things in our lives – this was in New York at the time, so we have that whole hustle mentality, and sometimes don't even pause to think about how support could show up for us – I would see these women light up. And that's when I thought, “Maybe there's something to this whole ‘support is sexy' thing.” And then that evolved into eventually me doing the podcast called Support is Sexy, and then ultimately writing this book, Get Over ‘I Got It,' because I found that most of us ambitious women have what I call “I got it” syndrome. Ufberg: What exactly is the “I got it” syndrome? Explain that a bit more to me. Fluker: It's something that's almost like a trigger response for some of us. We don't even think consciously about how much we're turning support away. Whether that is, I should say, literally someone coming to us and saying, “Can I help you with that? Is this some way I can support you? Do you need some version of that?” or something simple, like a serendipitous moment in the street where someone could possibly support you with something – and we're so quick to turn it away. So it's not even just saying, “I got it” to other people. Sometimes we're stopping the universe from coming into our lives and helping things work things out, because we're so focused on how we're going to manage it or do it. We'll “handle it,” right? “I'll make it happen. I'll handle it.” Well, you know, what you might be suffering from is “I got it” syndrome, and pushing the opportunity, but more so even possibility away, by saying this. Ufberg: How do you see shifting the idea of getting the support they need, for ambitious, high-energy women entrepreneurs? Fluker: Well, one of the things that I like to do to remind us all to remember to even ask for support, because sometimes I will say we're all moving on autopilot. We have so much to do, we have so much to accomplish, or people to serve, or things to do at work. There might be reasons that we don't pause for a moment and think about this. But I encourage any woman listening, pause and think about the word “HELP.” And I use that as an acronym to remember that H: having it all doesn't mean doing it all alone. So just as you just said, some of us feel like we have to do it all. Well, is that true? Or is that a belief? Sometimes it's the belief that we have to do it all alone, or it's the belief that no one shows up for us. Or it's belief that no one else will do it like “we can.” Having it all doesn't mean doing it all alone. You don't have to prove that you can do it by yourself. And a lot of times getting support will help you do it even better. The E in “HELP” is ask empowering questions. So when you're looking for support, it's not, “Why am I so stupid? Why can't I do this? Why haven't I figured this out?” A more empowered question might be okay, “This is something I want to accomplish, or even check off my to-do list. What are the ways that I might be able to get support for this? Who was someone who might have done this before? Who could give me some advice?” Whether that's someone you know personally, or someone you look up on the computer – we have access to almost everybody and everything now. But what are the questions you're asking yourself? The L is to “live that question.” So this is something I learned from this woman, Patricia Moreno. And it's this idea of - especially again, as ambitious women, as go getters, we're women who have the answers. A lot of us are paid to have the answers, or people come to us because we have the answers. So it is tough for us to imagine living a question, being in that space of openness, of asking, “How can I get support for this? What are some things that I might be missing that could be helpful to me?” And then not necessarily knowing, at least right away, how to answer that question. I wrote down in my journal a bunch of questions that I'm living right now. And I did not answer them, which is the hardest thing ever. So live the question, and also let go of the answer. Again, we don't want to get into a space of, “This is something I want to do. This is how I'm going to tightly manage this. This is exactly how it's going to happen.” That's not to say don't have a plan. Of course, you want to have a plan. But what if there's some opportunity for support that comes from somewhere else? And then the P is “believe in the possibilities.” So you can't do all those other things and then not believe it's possible for support to show up for you in ways you might not even be able to imagine. Ufberg: I think it's so important for women to read a book like yours so women can see that successful, ambitious women don't have to do it all alone. Can you speak for a moment on the particular challenges women of color face regarding asking or getting the support they may want or need? Fluker: Yes. I think as a Black woman, I can speak to my own issues, experience, and some of the women that I know, and then women of other cultures. A lot of us were taught to be seen and not heard – [some are] even from descendants of enslaved Africans. My parents, for example, grew up in the South in the 1930s. By the South, I mean Alabama. So they certainly were taught to be seen and not heard, sometimes not even be seen. My mother, a story I share in the book talks about how when she and her siblings, as children going to the shoe store, they weren't allowed to try on shoes. Or I've heard other people's parents [say] that you weren't allowed to try on that hat, because you were Black, and they didn't want you to try on anything and then put it back on the shelf. It's a racist policy, and it sounds like a simple thing. But those kinds of things impact you, as a young person [and] as a person of color. And there's all kinds of experiences that many have had in those kinds of situations, where you might be afraid to ask – literally, afraid, in their case – to ask for something that you want. And then that kind of transfers over in generation over generation. Something that I like to quote now, or mention, is some research that I've been looking at from Maria Yellow Horse Braveheart, who was a social worker, clinician and researcher who talks about historical trauma, and how the multi-generational trauma experienced by certain cultural groups can be passed on to each generation. That's something that I think applies in the same way to asking for support. She first explored it for Native Americans, then you think, as I said, about descendants of slaves, Holocaust survivors, and descendants of Holocaust survivors, and Japanese Americans who were interned during World War II. So there's a lot of different groups of us, culturally, that might have a reason that asking for support wasn't something that we witnessed, and [it's] something that we literally have to learn how to put into practice. But it's my hope that women – my book is for all women who feel like they are trying to do it all, figure it all out, and do it all alone – for us to be able to acknowledge that this might be a reason, or this might be where this comes from. But I encourage you to make a change, because it is as you said, not just about success, but this is about support for your peace of mind. Thanks for tuning in to this week's 51%. 51% is a national production of WAMC Northeast Public Radio. It's produced by me, Jesse King, our executive producer is Dr. Alan Chartock, and our theme is “Lolita” by the Albany-based artist Girl Blue. Thanks to Dr. Hida Nierenburg, Dr. Jean Buhac, Dr. Sharon Ufberg, and Elayne Fluker for contributing to this week's episode. You can learn more about our guests and find episodes new and old at wamcpodcasts.org. You can also check us out on Twitter and Instagram @51percentradio. Until next week, take it easy - I'm Jesse King for 51%.

“Sometimes, the support doesn't come from the universe, from our husbands, from whoever, because you didn't ask them.” - Elayne FlukerWelcome to Stay a While with Tommi Vincent! Aren't you tired of doing it all by yourself? You've carried the whole team on your back for too long - whether that team is your family, your work, or others' problems - and it's time to put it all down. On this episode, Elayne Fluker host of Support Is Sexy Podcast drops by to share some pointers on letting go of the Superwoman cape. You don't need it because it is wearing you OUT, sis! Take some notes and remember you deserve to be supported.Workshop Facilitator, Speaker and Leadership Development Consultant for corporations, organizations and professional women. Creates engaging workshops that shift the mindsets of professional women around the stigma of asking for support and empower them to effectively make "empowered asks" to achieve for success, fulfillment and work-life harmony. Companies get actionable solutions for creating a more supportive and psychologically safe work culture.➜ Speaker at the UN, LinkedIn, Columbia, NYU, Spelman College, Howard University, the Women Presidents' Organization, Essence Fest, National Urban League and more➜ Facilitated 200+ in-person workshops in the U.S., Spain, South Africa and Morocco and virtually online, including leadership development and DEI workshops for global firms and Fortune 50 companies➜ Interviewed and coached more than 500+ women around the world about challenges they encounter when asking for support.➜ Featured on "Today" show, "Nightline," "Extra," CNN, VH1, BET, Sirius XM and in Forbes, Essence, and 100+ podcasts➜ Author of the book, “Get Over ‘I Got It” published by HarperCollins LeadershipSpecializes in topics related to: Professional women, Women leaders within organizations, Black women.In this episode we cover[00:01 - 05:05] It Is Alright to Take the Cape Off[05:06 - 10:06] Food and Happiness: Building Long Lasting Memories[10:07 - 31:18] “I Got It” Syndrome - Why We Struggle to Ask For Support[31:19 - 41:48] The 5 Rs: How to Make an Empowered Ask[41:49 - 51:06] Crafting the Safe Environment for Vulnerability Warriors[51:07 - 56:13] Closing Segment Key Quotes“Pause for a second and take a deep breath and say, ‘Am I really creating space for support in my life?' And sometimes, usually, the answer is no. And it might not be something that is deliberate or conscious. It might be just because you're moving so fast.” - Elayne Fluker“Sometimes, ask isn't ‘I need support'. Sometimes the ask is ‘I need space,' or ‘I need time,' or ‘I need rest'.” - Elayne FlukerConnect with Elayne FlukerBook: https://www.amazon.com/Get-Over-Got-Superwoman-Remember/dp/1400213797Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/support-is-sexy-podcast-with-elayne-fluker-interviews/id1129580395 Connect with Me! You can reach Tommi on Instagram @cheftommivVisit https://vincentcountry.com and get connected with us on Vincent Country's Instagram @vincentcountry This episode was Produced By: Tommi Vincent, Tanner Vincent, and Skai Blue MediaMusic By: Stichiz - Big T. Music /Roj&TwinkiELEAVE A REVIEW + and SHARE this episode with someone who wants food for the soul, and the key ingredients to embracing their true, authentic self. Listen to previous episodes on Spotify, Spreaker, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Elayne Fluker is an expert in asking for support, and she is the author of the new book, Get Over “I Got It” – where she encourages unapologetically ambitious women to learn how to embrace support not only for their success but also their peace of mind. As a speaker at organizations such as LinkedIn, the United Nations, the Women Presidents' Organization, NYU, Columbia, Spelman College and Howard University, she gives women a roadmap for making empowered asks and living a fulfilled life. Elayne is host of the Support is Sexy podcast where she has interviewed more than 500 diverse women entrepreneurs around the world, and she is the founder of SiS.Academy – an online learning platform educating and empowering Black Women entrepreneurs. Most recently Elayne was named a “Founder of Change” for SiS.Academy as part of the American Express “100 for 100” program featuring 100 innovative Black women entrepreneurs. During our conversation on asking for support, Elayne and I discuss: Top areas where “helpers” (aka coaches, consultants, and business leaders) struggle to ask for support and Elayne's suspicion about why that is Native American social worker Maria Yellow Horse Brave Heart's model for historical trauma – and why asking for support is both an individual act of self-empowerment AND a way to disrupt systemic oppression Unique ways of asking for support when you know you need support but you aren't clear on what support would actually look like The 5 Rs for making an empowered ask The extra book chapter Elayne would write if she could Resources Mentioned in This Episode: Learn more about Elayne Fluker and her new book (and grab book bonuses!) at GetOverIGotIt.com The Harvard Business Review (HBR) article – Stop Telling Women They Have Imposter Syndrome Sign-up for my free virtual workshop – Amplify Your Voice, Visibility and Influence While Getting Paid to Show Your Clients (or Employees) How to Do the Same Please leave a review and subscribe to Moxielicious® via Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Play, or Spotify so you never miss an episode!

My very first book signing (turned book celebration) on Martha's Vineyard was perfectly....imperfect. :) Listen to hear what happened when my books didn't show up in time for the event and how I had to take the title of my own book very seriously: Get Over 'I Got It' -- How to Stop Playing Superwoman, Get Support and Remember that Having It All Doesn't Mean Doing It All Alone. The Universe wanted me to remember that. And in this episode I share why it's important for us all to walk our talk. Click here to get your own copy of Get Over I Got It. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

For this week's episode I am joined by Elayne Fluker. Elayne Fluker is the author of “Get Over ‘I Got it,' and the host of Support is Sexy Podcast. In our chat Elayne explores reasons that women sometimes find it difficult asking for support. She goes on to share practical ways in which women can learn to embrace support, not just for their success but also for their peace of mind. Elayne's BioElayne Fluker is author of the new book, Get Over "I Got It" (HarperCollins Leadership), where she encourages unapologetically ambitious women to learn how to embrace support not only for their success, but also their peace of mind. As a speaker at organizations such as LinkedIn, the United Nations, the Women Presidents' Organization, NYU, Columbia, Spelman College and Howard University, she gives women a roadmap for making empowered asks and living a fulfilled life. Elayne is also host of the Support is Sexy podcast where she has interviewed more than 500 diverse women entrepreneurs around the world, and she is founder of SiS.Academy -- an online learning platform educating and empowering Black Women entrepreneurs. Most recently Elayne was named a "Founder of Change" for SiS.Academy as part of the American Express "100 for 100" program featuring 100 innovative Black women entrepreneurs. Elayne Fluker Social Media HandlesFacebook - https://www.facebook.com/elayneflukerTwitter - https://twitter.com/elayneflukerInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/elaynefluker/LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/elaynefluker/ Get the Elayne'e BookPre-order Get Over I Got It - www.getoverigotit.comSupport is Sexy PodcastSupport is Sexy - http://elaynefluker.com/podcast WebsiteElayne Fluker - www.elaynefluker.com

Episode Summary In this episode of Support is Sexy, Founder of Silver Lining Carissa Reiniger discusses the importance of being focused and deliberate about what your business does and who your ideal client is, as well as how small, clear actions are essential to delivering amazing results for your business. Given the state of the world, Carissa's personal story and insights have never been more important. Listen in for practical, logical steps you can implement to guide your business in the right direction.  About our Guest: Carissa Reiniger is the founder of Silver Lining. Since 2005, Silver Lining has been supporting small business owners in creating more profitable and sustainable companies. Their process includes creating a Silver Lining Action Plan (also called SLAP) which is a technology-enabled, data-driven small business work program focused on helping small businesses set and then achieve their financial goals. Based on Behavior Change Science SLAP has helped over 10,000 small businesses in 25 countries to make more money doing what they love. Insights from the Episode: How clarity and specificity about what business owners should focus their time and money on leads to greater success Understanding the difference between your favorite client and your ideal client, and how finding your ideal client will bring you more success in the long term The importance of understanding your personal and business finances  What a 12-month Action Plan is and how to build one The 3 habits that lead to a healthy and successful business: Taking action, Getting Results, and taking a moment to Pause and Reflect Resources Mentioned: https://smallbizsilverlining.com/ CLICK HERE to get 50% off the audiobook of Get Over "I Got It" by Elayne Fluker Stay Connected: Carissa Reiniger: Website: https://smallbizsilverlining.com/ Instagram: @carissareiniger  LinkedIn: Carissa Reiniger  LinkedIn: Small Biz Silver Lining  Elayne Fluker Instagram: @elaynefluker LinkedIn: Elayne Fluker Support is Sexy Instagram: @supportissexy Post-production for this episode was provided by Podcast Laundry. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode of Support is Sexy, Founder of BroglieBox Julia Broglie opens up about her struggles with mental health and losing a brother to suicide, and how her journey led to starting the BroglieBox company. Mental health has never been so important. Listen for support strategies for your mental health and practical tips for your business in this episode of Support is Sexy.    Elayne Fluker Elayne Fluker is the author of the new book “Get Over ‘I Got It': How to Stop Playing Superwoman, Get Support and Remember that Having It All Doesn't Mean Doing It All Alone.” As host of the SUPPORT IS SEXY podcast, she interviews more than 500 successful women entrepreneurs around the world, who share inspiring, true stories of the ups and the downs of their entrepreneurial journeys. Elayne is also the founder of SiS.Academy, an online learning platform for women entrepreneurs. For more information about Elayne Fluker, please visit elaynefluker.com. Thank you for listening! About our Guest: Julia Broglie is the Founder of the social impact company BroglieBox. At BroglieBox, boxes - or "care packages" are curated with tools and resources for mental health in a way that feels warm, lighthearted, and fun.   Insight from this episode: How Julia is fighting the stigma of mental health in an approachable way.  Strategies for grieving in healthy ways and helping others who are.  Details on the Six Pillar of Mental Wellness and how to best support them in your life.  Tips for being a responsive company and how BroglieBox was impacted by 2020.     Quotes from the show: On her brother Justin: “He kept telling me, I just want to make a difference in this world. And he is making a difference now. I feel him guiding me, and I feel like he's touched so many people after his death because every single person that receives one of our boxes, it was inspired by him.” –Julia Broglie Support is Sexy Ep. #784 “We need to be open about this [how Justin died] because we don't want any other family to go through what we're going through right now… and if us talking about it saves a life or brings awareness or fights the stigma, then we're going to shout it from the rooftops.” –Julia Broglie Support is Sexy Ep. #784 “If you're going to a therapist once or twice a week, what are you doing in the in-between? What are you doing every single day to support your mental health or even just remind yourself, hey I should check in with myself, what is one thing I can do for myself?” –Julia Broglie Support is Sexy Ep. #784 “2020 was that year that a lot of us realized that even if you're not directly involved in a situation that you might think would cause grief, just even being on the outside or witnessing it on television or just knowing what's going on in the world or seeing people who are losing a family, for example, can cause grief.” –Elayne Fluker Support is Sexy Ep. #784 “You are your company's greatest asset. And when you're not treating yourself as your company's greatest asset, then your company's going to suffer.” –Julia Broglie Support is Sexy Ep. #784 Resources Mentioned National Suicide Prevention Hotline Text HOME to 741741 for Crisis Text Counsel The Broglie Blog Mental Wellness Care Package Giveaway CLICK HERE to get 50% off the audiobook of Get Over "I Got It" by Elayne Fluker (HarperCollins Leadership)! Stay Connected: Elayne Fluker Website: elaynefluker.com Twitter: @elaynefluker  Facebook: Elayne Fluker Instagram: @elaynefluker LinkedIn: Elayne Fluker Youtube: Elayne Fluker   Julia Broglie Website: https://brogliebox.com/  Instagram: @juls.b_ Instagram: @thebrogliebox LinkedIn: Julia Broglie   Support is Sexy Website: Support is Sexy Podcast Facebook: Support is Sexy Instagram: @supportissexy Youtube: Support is Sexy Podcast Playlist    Post-production for this episode was provided by Podcast Laundry. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode of Support is Sexy, the Creator of The Great Girlfriends Podcast and expert brand builder Sybil Amuti gives noteworthy strategies for building your brand and creating brand longevity. Become “pandemic proof” with content, culture, and community. Find out how to get to work in this episode of Support is Sexy.    Elayne Fluker Elayne Fluker is the author of the new book, “Get Over ‘I Got It': How to Stop Playing Superwoman, Get Support and Remember that Having It All Doesn't Mean Doing It All Alone.” As host of the SUPPORT IS SEXY podcast, she interviews more than 500 successful women entrepreneurs around the world, who share inspiring, true stories of the ups and the downs of their entrepreneurial journeys. Elayne is also the founder of SiS.Academy, an online learning platform for women entrepreneurs. For more information about Elayne Fluker, please visit elaynefluker.com. Thank you for listening! About our Guest: Sybil Amuti is the Founder and Creator of The Great Girlfriends Podcast and Community, a personal & professional development community created to connect women with daily tips and solutions to live a passionate life and build a thriving business.   Insight from this episode: The benefits of sharing your vision in a way that allows others to opt into your energy.  Strategies for building a community around your brand and details on your responsibilities as a brand builder.  Questions to ask yourself as you communicate your message to the market.  Tips for monetizing or leveraging your own podcast.     Quotes from the show: “In my mind, ‘Let's make a podcast' meant ‘Let's build a brand'... I did always have in my mind what the story could be. Whenever I have an idea… I sit down and I jot it out and I imagine what the tentacles can be and how far it can go.” –Sybil Amuti Support is Sexy Ep. #783 “Do this right now, start this right now, before the people get here… Build it so that when they show up, they can see how you operate on social media, they can see all the other things that you have.” –Elayne Fluker Support is Sexy Ep. #783 “When you're building a brand, you have to know that your vision is good enough. You have to be fully satisfied with the idea that you may be the only customer for a long time. You have to have that internal esteem.” –Sybil Amuti Support is Sexy Ep. #783 “That's the gift of having a vision and stepping into it. We don't get to decide how far and wide it goes, and thank God we don't because we would restrict it.” –Sybil Amuti Support is Sexy Ep. #783 “Yes, you are a brand. And yes, you have a brand. It's your unique way of being. It's your unique way of doing. It's your unique way of feeling. It's the way that you make other people's senses come alive.” –Sybil Amuti Support is Sexy Ep. #783 “You'd be remiss if you did not understand: Customer is community.” –Sybil Amuti Support is Sexy Ep. #783 “I look at the podcast as more of a platform. I see all of the facets of real estate. These are all the things that are properties that another brand would see the value of if they were given the opportunity.” –Sybil Amuti Support is Sexy Ep. #783   Resources Mentioned CLICK HERE to get 50% off the audiobook of Get Over "I Got It" by Elayne Fluker (HarperCollins Leadership)! The Great Girlfriends Podcast Force of Beauty by Mikki Taylor  Canva  Stay Connected: Elayne Fluker Website: elaynefluker.com Twitter: @elaynefluker  Facebook: Elayne Fluker Instagram: @elaynefluker LinkedIn: Elayne Fluker Youtube: Elayne Fluker   Sybil Amuti Website: https://sybilamuti.com/about-sybil/  Twitter: @sybil_amuti Facebook: Sybil Amuti Instagram: @sybil_amuti LinkedIn: Sybil Clark-Amuti   Support is Sexy Website: Support is Sexy Podcast Facebook: Support is Sexy Instagram: @supportissexy Youtube: Support is Sexy Podcast Playlist    Post-production for this episode was provided by Podcast Laundry. [Music: “Stomp and Clap” by Scott Holmes from Free Music Archive] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode of Support is Sexy, Founder and Chief Kindness Advisor of Cool Audrey, Cole Baker, shares why she believes kindness can change the way we do business and how we can make more soul moves instead of power moves. Cole moved out of the corporate world in order to make the corporate world a more kind place, and she shares exactly how she did it in this episode of Support is Sexy.    Elayne Fluker Elayne Fluker is the author of the new book, “Get Over ‘I Got It': How to Stop Playing Superwoman, Get Support and Remember that Having It All Doesn't Mean Doing It All Alone.” As host of the SUPPORT IS SEXY podcast, she interviews more than 500 successful women entrepreneurs around the world, who share inspiring, true stories of the ups and the downs of their entrepreneurial journeys. Elayne is also founder of SiS.Academy, an online learning platform for women entrepreneurs. For more information about Elayne Fluker, please visit elaynefluker.com. Thank you for listening! About our Guest: Cole Baker-Bagwell is the Founder and Chief Kindness Advisor of Cool Audrey. She spent over two decades in sales and strategy roles with companies both good and toxic where she learned that business is about people and kindness makes business better. Now she shares a big human approach for business through Cool Audrey and two feel-good podcasts: Kindness Think Tank and Little Shots of Kindness.    Insight from this episode: How to remember to pay attention to your “sizzle” and trust your instincts.  What kindness means to Cole and strategies for practicing kindness to self.  Tips for making more choices that “do no harm” and create more connections and possibilities.  Practical steps to take when looking to leave the comfort of “golden handcuffs.”     Quotes from the show: “The first time we're told [as children], well that's silly or you can't be that we begin to develop this little shell, and when we do that we not only close ourselves from the possibilities around us but we actually become quite disconnected from the instincts that we have. We stop trusting that inner voice, that instinct, that actually knows best all the time.” –Cole Baker Support is Sexy Ep. #782 “We are mirrors. However, we are treating, referring to self, we're going to reflect that out into the world. Being kind means accepting and loving the way we are right now, free of judgment.” –Cole Baker Support is Sexy Ep. #782 “There are these beautiful plaques that hang on the wall: We are transparent. We are kind. We are inclusive… my favorite question is, well, show me your evidence, how are you living into those things?” –Cole Baker Support is Sexy Ep. #782 “Everybody's done research around kindness. They're saying, this is the bridge to human connection, and by the way, companies are communities of human beings. And the people they work with are also human beings. If we don't get that human part right, we're kind of toasted aren't we?” –Cole Baker Support is Sexy Ep. #782 “Am I more afraid to leave and try? Or am I more afraid to stay?” –Cole Baker Support is Sexy Ep. #782 “I had very dear friends and family members say, ‘You are insane. Are you going through like a midlife crisis?” No, no I'm actually living into myself.” –Cole Baker Support is Sexy Ep. #782 Resources Mentioned CLICK HERE to get 50% off the audiobook of Get Over "I Got It" by Elayne Fluker (HarperCollins Leadership)! Stay Connected: Elayne Fluker Website: elaynefluker.com Twitter: @elaynefluker  Facebook: Elayne Fluker Instagram: @elaynefluker LinkedIn: Elayne Fluker Youtube: Elayne Fluker   Cole Baker Website: https://coolaudrey.com/about  Instagram: @kindnessthinktank LinkedIn: Cole Baker-Bagwell   Support is Sexy Website: Support is Sexy Podcast Facebook: Support is Sexy Instagram: @supportissexy Youtube: Support is Sexy Podcast Playlist    Post-production for this episode was provided by Podcast Laundry. [Music: “Stomp and Clap” by Scott Holmes from Free Music Archive]

In this episode of Support is Sexy, Ama Gordon, Co-Founder of Global Fertility Connections, shares about all things fertility, the support that's out there for you, and how you can advocate for yourself. If you've ever wished you had someone to ask your questions about freezing your eggs or surrogacy, then you won't want to miss this conversation on this episode of Support is Sexy.    Elayne Fluker Elayne Fluker is the author of the new book, “Get Over ‘I Got It': How to Stop Playing Superwoman, Get Support and Remember that Having It All Doesn't Mean Doing It All Alone.” As host of the SUPPORT IS SEXY podcast, she interviews more than 500 successful women entrepreneurs around the world, who share inspiring, true stories of the ups and the downs of their entrepreneurial journeys. Elayne is also the founder of SiS.Academy, an online learning platform for women entrepreneurs. For more information about Elayne Fluker, please visit elaynefluker.com. Thank you for listening! About our Guest: Ama Gordon is Co-Founder of Global Fertility Connections, a fertility concierge service that helps Intended Parents navigate their fertility journey on the path to parenthood with egg freezing, in vitro fertilization, and third-party reproductive services including surrogacy and egg donation. Their mission is to empower Intended Parents as they build their families with trust, transparency, and personalize patient care. Resources Mentioned CLICK HERE to get 50% off the audiobook of Get Over "I Got It" by Elayne Fluker (HarperCollins Leadership)! Global Fertility Connections   Insight from this episode: Details on what working with Global Fertility Connections looks like and current trends in fertility.  Elayne's and Ama's stories with fertility and getting support in this area.  What you need to ask yourself if you're thinking of freezing your eggs and tips for going about it the right way.  Ways to make sure you're getting the care that you deserve.    Quotes from the show: On why she started her business: “There were some gaps in the information [from doctors], or it wasn't holistic enough, or it wasn't nuanced or personalized for them enough, or the doctor just might have not had enough time to give them the in-depth answer they were really looking for, so then they go down the Google hole.” –Ama Gordon Support is Sexy Ep. #781 “Egg freezing shows that you're proactive. It shows that you're doing what it takes to empower yourself and to take control, and there's not necessarily a negative connotation to it.” –Ama Gordon Support is Sexy Ep. #781 “You don't really know what you need until you need it, and you don't know what you don't know until you get there.” –Ama Gordon Support is Sexy Ep. #781 “Fibroids are very common for women of color, and I wish it was talked about more often. But oftentimes, somewhere in the family-- whether it's a mother, grandmother, aunt, sister-- someone may be struggling or has struggled with something, and we're not talking about it amongst friends and family.” –Ama Gordon Support is Sexy Ep. #781 “We're [Black people] are often ignored. Or just kind of treated blanketly, like okay, try this or try that. I think it's time that we get the care and attention that we need, which is what we're trying to do one client at a time.” –Ama Gordon Support is Sexy Ep. #781 Stay Connected: Elayne Fluker Website: elaynefluker.com Twitter: @elaynefluker  Facebook: Elayne Fluker Instagram: @elaynefluker LinkedIn: Elayne Fluker Youtube: Elayne Fluker   Ama Gordon Website: https://www.globalfertilityconnections.com/  Facebook: Global Fertility Connections Instagram: @globalfertilityconnections LinkedIn: Global Fertility Connections   Support is Sexy Website: Support is Sexy Podcast Facebook: Support is Sexy Instagram: @supportissexy Youtube: Support is Sexy Podcast Playlist    Post-production for this episode was provided by Podcast Laundry. [Music: “Stomp and Clap” by Scott Holmes from Free Music Archive]

I'm at a crossroads, y'all. My book, Get Over "I Got It" is officially out in the world. (And a huge thank you to all of you who supported me by buying a copy -- whether print book or audiobook). This journey, three years in the making, has been an extraordinary learning experience for me. This dream, a lifetime in the making, was finally checked off the list. But you know what no one tells you to prepare for? The "now what" part of the journey. I'm sure there are authors and entrepreneurs who planned that next chapter way in advance. I didn't. And now, as I said, I'm at a crossroads. Which isn't a bad thing. And in this episode, I share how I'm navigating this part of the journey, living a few important questions and choosing to be open to being guided by spirit -- with support, of course. I'm committed to my calling, which I believe is to help women learn how to get the support they deserve for success and fulfillment. But answering that calling isn't always easy. Whatever part of your journey you're going through right now, I hope you remember to get quiet, listen to that internal voice ("trust your gut") and then make your next, best move. ALSO: If you'd like a special 50% off discount on the audiobook for Get Over "I Got It", click here!

In this episode of Support is Sexy, Katherine and Nick North, who are featured in Elayne's new book “Get Over ‘I Got It,” rejoin the podcast to talk about pride, support, creating safe spaces, and letting people show up for you. Hear more about asking courageously and answering with radical honesty in this episode of Support is Sexy.    Elayne Fluker Elayne Fluker is author of the new book, “Get Over ‘I Got It': How to Stop Playing Superwoman, Get Support and Remember that Having It All Doesn't Mean Doing It All Alone.” As host of the SUPPORT IS SEXY podcast, she interviews more than 500 successful women entrepreneurs around the world, who share inspiring, true stories of the ups and the downs of their entrepreneurial journeys. Elayne is also founder of SiS.Academy, an online learning platform for women entrepreneurs. For more information about Elayne Fluker, please visit elaynefluker.com. Thank you for listening! About our Guest: Katherine North is a writer and executive coach, helping high achieving, secretly sensitive women declare dominion over their demanding lives. She is author of Holy Heathen: A Spiritual Memoir. Nick North is brand strategist, speaker, and influencer who helps solopreneurs and corporations create more money, more impact, and more meaning in their businesses. Together, they made an award winning documentary, Just Another Beautiful Family, and recently appeared on Discovery Plus show Life Under Renovation.   Insight from this episode: Why we don't need to be the martyr ever and how to create safe spaces for ourselves.  The benefits of focusing on the possible as opposed to what's probable.  Tips for getting comfortable with the “uncomfortable asking.” How to tell when you're happily giving, tolerating, or enduring, and why you must protect your own emotional wellness and negotiate when necessary.  Quotes from the show: “I had a feeling of, like, I need to stick it out here because there needs to be a beacon of light. But then I got to the spot where I was like, actually no, that doesn't have to be my job, and I've done it enough and my kids need to be in a spot now where they don't feel different all the time.”  –Nick North Support is Sexy Ep. #779 On being straight passing: “There is a cost to it. There's a cost to everytime someone says something terrible to you, even if they didn't mean it to be terrible. Even if their intention wasn't to hurt you. It still hurts.”  –Nick North Support is Sexy Ep. #779 On the uncomfortable asking: “That can feel really scary. That could be a huge fight. That could potentially open up big cracks in the foundation that you were just really hoping you wouldn't have to look at.” –Katherine North Support is Sexy Ep. #779 “If my “why” has good intentions… then I can change it from it being about me to it being about giving back… If I can go back to the why I need that support, it usually has a really good intention behind it that will put good things into the world… If I have to trick myself to take care of myself that way, I'm for it.”  –Nick North Support is Sexy Ep. #779   Resources Mentioned CLICK HERE to get 50% off the audiobook of Get Over "I Got It" by Elayne Fluker (HarperCollins Leadership)! Support is Sexy Episode 620 Red Met Yellow website design Holy Heathen: A Spiritual Memoir Stay Connected: Elayne Fluker Website: elaynefluker.com Twitter: @elaynefluker  Facebook: Elayne Fluker Instagram: @elaynefluker LinkedIn: Elayne Fluker Youtube: Elayne Fluker   Katherine North Website: https://declaredominion.com/  Instagram: @declaredominion Facebook: Declare Dominion Nick North Website: https://wethenorths.com/  Instagram: @wethenorths   Support is Sexy Website: Support is Sexy Podcast Facebook: Support is Sexy Instagram: @supportissexy Youtube: Support is Sexy Podcast Playlist    Post-production for this episode was provided by Podcast Laundry. [Music: “Stomp and Clap” by Scott Holmes from Free Music Archive]

In this episode of Support is Sexy, intenSati Founder Patricia Moreno, who is featured in Elayne’s new book “Get Over ‘I Got It’” (HarperCollins Leadership), discusses how to “live the question” and hunger for the answer. The more you immerse yourself in living the question, the easier it is to take action when the answer comes. Learn how to be a spiritual badass on Support is Sexy.    Elayne Fluker Elayne Fluker is the author of the new book, “Get Over ‘I Got It’: How to Stop Playing Superwoman, Get Support and Remember that Having It All Doesn’t Mean Doing It All Alone.” As host of the SUPPORT IS SEXY podcast, she interviews more than 500 successful women entrepreneurs around the world, who share inspiring, true stories of the ups and the downs of their entrepreneurial journeys. Elayne is also the founder of SiS.Academy, an online learning platform for women entrepreneurs. For more information about Elayne Fluker, please visit elaynefluker.com. Thank you for listening! About our Guest: Patricia Moreno is a pioneer of spiritual fitness and Creator of intenSati, a signature movement method pairing mindfulness with physicality. She created a digital community to inspire the lifestyle habits of inner strength, radiant health, and embodied positivity. Patricia is an international speaker, inspiring people worldwide.   Insight from this episode: Strategies to think from the person we want to be, not about the person we want to be. The power of pairing movement with thoughts and affirmations.  How to live the question-- and how to make sure you’re living the right question! How to harness willpower to build habits that will change your life and live in line with your values.   Quotes from the show: “If my identity is: I am fat, there is just no way, how can I be thin? How can I be fit? If I am fat, and I lose 20 pounds, 30 pounds, I am, for a moment, thin. I’m a thin fat person… I still identify myself as fat.” –Patricia Moreno Support is Sexy Ep. #778 “Sometimes the affirmation is not even strong enough yet to get you to actually feel the courage or confidence or the emotion, but it’s enough to put a gate up so that you’re no longer saying what you used to say.” –Patricia Moreno Support is Sexy Ep. #778 “Decide. Decide what you want more of. Decide what’s important to you. What do you want more of today? Is it energy? Is it compassion? Is it to be kind? What is it? Pull it in and activate it in yourself.” –Patricia Moreno Support is Sexy Ep. #778 “You can’t get the idea until you’ve set the intention or you’ve asked the question.” –Patricia Moreno Support is Sexy Ep. #778 “Sometimes we get the inspired moment, but we don’t take the inspired action.” –Elayne Fluker Support is Sexy Ep. #778 On willpower: “I’m not going to force myself. I’m going to allow myself. I’m going to become this person. I accept that I am willing to change... Yes, I have to put effort. Yes, I have to be conscious because I like to grab those things. But it’s an internal willingness to change versus a short-term holding my breath and forcing myself.” –Patricia Moreno Support is Sexy Ep. #778 Resources Mentioned Wayne Dyer’s Manifest Your Destiny Patricia Moreno’s The IntenSati Method: The Seven Secret Principles to Thinner Peace CLICK HERE to get 50% off the audiobook of Get Over "I Got It" by Elayne Fluker (HarperCollins Leadership)! Stay Connected: Elayne Fluker Website: elaynefluker.com Twitter: @elaynefluker  Facebook: Elayne Fluker Instagram: @elaynefluker LinkedIn: Elayne Fluker Youtube: Elayne Fluker   Patricia Moreno Website: https://patriciamoreno.com  Facebook: Patricia Moreno Instagram: @patriciamoreno33 Youtube: Patricia Moreno   Support is Sexy Website: Support is Sexy Podcast Facebook: Support is Sexy Instagram: @supportissexy Youtube: Support is Sexy Podcast Playlist    Post-production for this episode was provided by Podcast Laundry. [Music: “Stomp and Clap” by Scott Holmes from Free Music Archive]

Today’s Invisible Stories guest is the multitalented Elayne Fluker. Elaine is a coach, speaker, entrepreneur, and advocate and leader for women looking to grow their businesses. She is the author of the brand new book, Get Over ‘I Got It’, which launched in early May 2021. According to her book, too many ambitious women strive to accomplish all their goals alone, leading to dangerous levels of stress and anxiety. Elayne’s book teaches women how a strong support network and meaningful connections are crucial not only to long-term success, but to peace of mind. As a coach and advisor, Elayne helps her clients get over what she calls “I Got It!” Syndrome, clarifying their vision, growing their support network, and determining what that next chapter can look like for them.  In this podcast, Elayne and I talk about empowering women of color, and her story-telling roots. Elayne gives us insight into: How she uses her platform to amplify the voices of women of color, particularly through her podcast Support Is Sexy. How she managed to overcome plenty of rejection when it came to her book, and to persevere and find herself a trustworthy publishing agent. She also talks about using her industry knowledge of publishing to navigate getting a traditional publishing deal.  The methods she used to increase her wordcount and enhance the content of the book without adding fluff or filler. She added meaningful content by taking inspiration from the women she interviewed. 

Are you the type of person who values doing everything on your own? Do you avoid asking for help because you believe it makes you appear weak and inexperienced?How's that working for you?Our guest, Elayne Fluker, is author of the new book, Get Over "I Got It" (HarperCollins Leadership), where she encourages unapologetically ambitious women to learn how to embrace support not only for their success, but also their peace of mind. As a speaker at organizations such as LinkedIn, the United Nations, the Women Presidents' Organization, NYU, Columbia, Spelman College and Howard University, Elayne gives women a roadmap for making empowered asks and living a fulfilled life. Elayne is also host of the Support is Sexy podcast where she has interviewed more than 500 diverse women entrepreneurs around the world, and she is founder of SiS.Academy -- an online learning platform educating and empowering Black Women entrepreneurs. Elayne shares her founder journey/startup stories along with outstanding advice to help you embrace asking for support. My favorites: her acronym HELP and Put Fun on Your Calendar - a delicious Stitch That On A Pillow moment!Please purchase your copy of Get Over "I Got It" here: http://www.getoverigotit.com/You can learn more about Elayne here: http://www.elaynefluker.com/Subscribe to the Support is Sexy podcast here: http://elaynefluker.com/podcastShare SiS (Support is Sexy) Academy with all your black female founders - here's the link: https://www.sis.academy/Be sure to follow Elayne everywhere she glows here:Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/elayneflukerTwitter - https://twitter.com/elayneflukerInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/elaynefluker/LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/elayneflu...Thank you for carving out time to improve your Founder Game - when you do better, your business will do better - cheers!Ande Lyonshttp://andelyons.comANDELICIOUS RESOURCES:JOIN STARTUP LIFE LIVE MEETUP GROUPGet an alert whenever I post a new show!https://bit.ly/StartupLifeLIVEAGORAPULSEMy favorite digital marketing dashboard is AGORAPULSE – it's the best platform to manage your social media posts and presence! Learn more here: http://www.agorapulse.com?via=ande17STARTUP DOXDo you need attorney reviewed legal documents for your startup?I'm a proud community partner of Startup Dox, a new service provided by Selvarajah Law PC which helps you draw out all the essential paperwork needed to kickstart your business in a super cost-effective way. All the legal you're looking for… only without confusion or frustration. EVERY filing and document comes with an attorney review. You will never do it alone.Visit https://www.thestartupdox.com/ and use my discount code ANDE10 to receive 10% off your order.STREAMYARD OVERLAYS AND GRAPHIC DESIGNNicky Pasquierhttps://www.virtuosoassistant.co.uk/Visit Nicky's CANVA Playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list...Nicky's Canva Presentation Playlist: http://bit.ly/Canva_Present_PlaylistGET VIDEO/AUDIO TRANSCRIBED WITH OTTER.AIhttps://bit.ly/StartupLifeOtter CONNECT WITH ME ONLINE: https://andelyons.com https://twitter.com/AndeLyonshttps://www.facebook.com/StartupLifew... https://www.linkedin.com/in/andelyons/ https://www.instagram.com/ande_lyons/ https://www.pinterest.com/andelyons/ https://angel.co/andelyons TikTok: @andelyons

It's one week after the launch of my new book, Get Over "I Got It", and whether it's conversations with friends or one of the many interviews I've been blessed to do, a question that keeps coming up is: How does it feel to be a published author? My answer: I'm not sure, but I do know that it feels amazing to finish! On this episode of the Support is Sexy podcast -- which was recorded while I was out on my walk this morning, so please excuse the background noise -- I share what I am feeling and thinking one week following my book's debut in the world. My perspective has definitely evolved throughout this process. In a nutshell, whatever dream you have, remember to celebrate the steps you took day to day to see it to fruition. This way any "success" or accolades that comes after that are just bonus. And if those things never come, hey, you've already won! Thank you for your support. If you'd like to learn more about me and about my book, Get Over "I Got It" visit getoverigotit.com. And if you post a picture with the book, please use the hashtags #getoverigotit and #GOIGI so we can celebrate you, too! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Elayne Fluker and I have two very important things in common. We both are obsessed with helping women redefine and create their "it all;"AND we both can't follow a script to save our lives.Minutes in, what we both thought would be a conversation about leaving our full time jobs to live our creative callings, turned into a candid talk about Elayne's decision to start a family at 48. We both gladly tossed the post-it notes to the side, and dug in.Elayne Fluker is the author of the new book, Get Over I Got It, and the host of the wildly successful Support is Sexy Podcast. She has spent the past 10 years helping women entrepreneurs through coaching and storytelling, and is now sharing her brilliance with the rest of the world. Lucky us.This conversation is one of those that you will consider a true before and after moment; prepare to learn lessons that are going to change your life. For me, they already have.I find myself reciting, "get over I got it," or "support is sexy, Kacie!" I have told myself more than once over the past month since we recorded, "just live the question." All of which have made me feel empowered over defeated, and excited over anxious to ask for the help and space I need, instead of feeling like a failure for needing both.This woman radiates joy; her energy is a warm glow that engulfs you and reminds us all that, "everything little thing is gonna be alright."Our episode is nearly an hour, and it's worth every single minute.  I promise.If you like what you hear here on the show, then I strongly recommend that you go pre-order Elayne's book coming out on May 11th (PRE-ORDER HERE) which was announced today as one of Essence Magazine's top picks for Mother's Day gifting - just sayin'!I've got my copy already in the works. Maybe we'll have Elayne back on the show for a "book club" episode. I can't wait.X,KLGP.S. FYI, this episode does talk openly about suicide. If you or someone you love is in need of help, it's available. You can reach the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800.273.8255.  

In this episode, we discuss the Strong Black Women schema and how it shows up in our everyday lives and has shown up throughout history. Our special guest, Elayne Fluker, takes our conversation a step further and discusses her new book,  Get Over "I Got It, where she encourages unapologetically ambitious women to learn how to embrace support not only for their success but also their peace of mind. The following link is the resource list of solutions that were mentioned in our "Where do We Go from Here" segment: https://bit.ly/3rgpQ3Z

In this episode of Support is Sexy, CEO of Nonprofit HR Lisa Brown Alexander, who is featured in Elayne’s upcoming book Get Over ‘I Got It,’ speaks about her experience in removing her mask, getting the support she needs, and prioritizing her mental health. Lisa also discusses why successful Black women are more likely to wear masks and why you need to get honest about whether or not you’re wearing a mask in this episode of Support is Sexy.    Elayne Fluker Elayne Fluker is the author of the new book, “Get Over ‘I Got It’: How to Stop Playing Superwoman, Get Support and Remember that Having It All Doesn’t Mean Doing It All Alone.” As host of the SUPPORT IS SEXY podcast, she interviews more than 500 successful women entrepreneurs around the world, who share inspiring, true stories of the ups and the downs of their entrepreneurial journeys. Elayne is also the founder of SiS.Academy, an online learning platform for women entrepreneurs. For more information about Elayne Fluker, please visit elaynefluker.com. Thank you for listening! About our Guest: Lisa Brown Alexander is the Founder and CEO of Nonprofit HR, the leading human resources firm in the country that works exclusively with the nonprofit sector in consulting, talent acquisition, executive search, and education. Lisa is the author of Strong on the Outside, Dying on the Inside. Lisa is also the Owner of luxury retreat destination Wellspring Manor & Spa in Maryland.   Insight from this episode: Why we wear masks and what it takes to free yourself of that burden. What to do when you’re tired of being tired and how to get over “I got it!” How to take a “Yes, and…” approach to mental health and wellness.  Strategies for coping when your “drug of choice” is work and success.   Quotes from the show: “[T]hey don’t understand when you’re living with depression and you got your career and your spouse and you’re doing fine and your kids are great. It doesn’t make sense. Because it doesn’t make sense and that story is harder to tell, we hold that mask on tighter, so we look like we have it all together when in fact we’re falling apart.” –Lisa Brown Alexander Support is Sexy Ep. #770 “I had a great good corporate job, corner office, the whole nine yards, and the second I would get in my car, I would start crying.” –Lisa Brown Alexander Support is Sexy Ep. #770 “We are whole persons. We have our spiritual component, a mental component, an emotional, a financial. Tend to each of those aspects of yourself by seeing the people who can support those aspects of yourself.” –Lisa Brown Alexander Support is Sexy Ep. #770 “Talking is a key part of mental health, healing and wellness, and unpacking and unloading those things that are causing crisis in your mental health.” –Lisa Brown Alexander Support is Sexy Ep. #770 “So many of us do not take the time to retreat, and relax, and restore.” –Lisa Brown Alexander Support is Sexy Ep. #770 “Be honest with yourself and be okay saying no, I can’t do that.” –Lisa Brown Alexander Support is Sexy Ep. #770 Resources Mentioned NAMI Support Groups TalkSpace  BetterHelp Get Cerebral Stay Connected: Elayne Fluker Website: elaynefluker.com Twitter: @elaynefluker  Facebook: Elayne Fluker Instagram: @elaynefluker LinkedIn: Elayne Fluker Youtube: Elayne Fluker   Lisa Brown Alexander  Website: https://www.nonprofithr.com/  Twitter: @NonprofitHRCEO Facebook: @nonprofithr LinkedIn: Lisa Brown Alexander   Support is Sexy Website: Support is Sexy Podcast Facebook: Support is Sexy Instagram: @supportissexy Youtube: Support is Sexy Podcast Playlist    Post-production for this episode was provided by Podcast Laundry. [Music: “Stomp and Clap” by Scott Holmes from Free Music Archive] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

CEO of the Support is Sexy Movement, Elayne Fluker is back, GGs!! This time, she is discussing her new book and empowering us to birth that book that we have been sitting on! Grab your pen and paper and listen and learn:  The one thing she committed to daily that helped her write her book How selfishness is keeping us from sharing our stories The #1 thing to bring about new opportunities A powerful affirmational principle that we must embody for growth Elayne's favorite chapter of her book Follow Elayne on LinkedIn and IG @elaynefluker We are giving away 5 pre-order copies of Elayne's book, Get Over I Got It. Shoot me an email at welcome@thegreatgirlfriends.com Follow me on IG @sybil_amuti THE GREAT GIRLFRIENDS INSTAGRAM: Great Girlfriends IG. THE GREAT GIRLFRIENDS FB COMMUNITY: Great Girlfriends Facebook Community