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March 3, 2025I am findingmyself stuck and experiencing physical stress responses to triggers, with no evidencethat warrants such a reaction. Trauma that I experienced decades ago issneaking up now in surprising ways. I feel I am being invited into deeper healingthat helps release and reprogram the trauma I experienced. Today I willintroduce a new modality that helps calm the nervous system down through soundsand frequencies. The poems and narratives I am reading arefrom Ranier Maria Rilke, Jan Richardson, Alexandra Vasiliu, and Mary Oliver. Thanks toDr. Carol Lewis and the UF Mindfulness Center for leading us through thismodality through the UF Mindfulness 360 Series. https://www.ufmindfulness.org/workshop-programsPhoto by Touann Gatouillat Vergos on Unsplash
Jesus sees a woman and is moved with compassion to respond. But what about all the other women, humans, creatures, who also needed his compassionate response??? And what about the root causes of her suffering - Shouldn't he have fixed the systems instead??? Jesus sees a woman - really looks at her - and is moved to respond. May we who seek to follow Jesus do the same. May we, out of (legitimate!) concern for scalability and systems, never overthink our way to paralysis when given the opportunity and impulse to respond with compassion. Goodness knows, our country and our world need all the compassion that each one of us can muster.Sermon begins at minute marker 6:02Luke 7:1-17ResourcesBibleWorm podcast: Episode 625 – A Centurion's Slave and a Widow's Son, Amy Robertson and Robert Williamson, Jr“A Jesus Who Troubles,” sermon on this text by Pastor Megan Ramer (sermon begins at minute 15:35), 2021."Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world's grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it." (Rabbi Tarfon, from the Pirkei Avot, 2:16)“Blessing in the Chaos,” by Jan Richardson; also appears in her book The Cure for Sorrow: A Book of Blessings for Times of Grief (79), 2016.Kate Bowler quote, from an instagram reel, February 2025.Vivek Murthy quote, taken from the Kate Bowler reel linked above.VT Hymn 647, There Is A Balm in Gilead. Text & Music: African American Spiritual. Permission to podcast the music in this service obtained from ONE LICENSE, license #A-726929. All rights reserved.
So be careful. Guard your hearts. They can be made heavy with moral laxity, with drunkenness, with the hassles of daily life. Then the day I've been telling you about might catch you unaware and trap you. Luke 21:34“Be still, be calm, see, and understand I am the True God. I am honored among all the nations. I am honored over all the earth.” You know the Eternal, the Commander of heavenly armies, surrounds us and protects us; the True God of Jacob is our shelter, close to His heart. Psalm 46:10-11Questions to consider as you enter the new:Do you feel weary and worn out?What do you need rest from right now? What's keeping you from taking a rest? (guilt, obligation, or just haven't considered it?)Why do we feel compelled to strong-arm our way through the trials, pits, valleys, and deserts of life? (it's uncomfortable, I want to hurry up and move past it) What blessings do we risk missing if we are exhausted through the trials and transitions?Jan Richardson, holy absence, www.janrichardson.com
Summary The video covers a poetic meditation titled 'A Blessing for the Broken-Hearted' by Jan Richardson. Kevin Deegan presents a contemplative piece that explores themes of heartbreak, healing, and resilience. The poem challenges common platitudes about pain and healing while offering a unique perspective on how broken hearts continue to function and heal through love. Kevin: "A Blessing for the Broken-Hearted" by Jan Richardson: Let us agree for now that we will not say the breaking makes us stronger, or that it is better to have this pain than to have done without this love. Let us promise we will not tell ourselves time will heal the wound when every day our waking opens it anew. Perhaps for now it can be enough to simply marvel at the mystery of how a heart so broken can go on beating, as if it were made for precisely this, as if it knows the only cure for love is more of it, as if it sees the heart's sole remedy for breaking is to love still, as if it trusts that its own persistent pulse is the rhythm of a blessing we cannot begin to fathom, but will save us nonetheless. Amen.
Summary This episode of "Coping" centers on the idea of 'Blue Christmas,' exploring how the holiday season can be both joyful and sorrowful for many people. Kathy and Kevin discuss how grief and joy can coexist during the holidays, particularly for those experiencing loss or major life changes. Kevin shares a personal experience from 2020 working as a bedside chaplain during Covid, while Kathy discusses her preference for Thanksgiving over Christmas due to its focus on gratitude. The conversation includes recommendations for grief support resources, specifically mentioning David Kessler's holiday grief support and Grief Share's 'Surviving the Holidays' program. The episode concludes with a suggested ritual of hanging a blue ornament and shares Jan Richardson's 'Blessing for the Brokenhearted' poem. Highlights Introduction to Blue Christmas Concept The hosts introduce the concept of 'Blue Christmas,' acknowledging that while the holiday season is typically portrayed as joyful, it can be a time of deep sorrow for many. Speaker0 emphasizes that it's acceptable to feel both joy and sadness during the holidays, whether due to recent loss or general struggles. Personal Experiences with Blue Christmas Kevin shares his significant Blue Christmas experience from 2020 while working as a hospital chaplain during Covid, feeling disconnected from the holiday spirit. Kathy reflects on her preference for Thanksgiving over Christmas, noting how commercialization has affected the holiday's meaning. Support Resources and Coping Strategies The hosts discuss two major grief support resources: David Kessler's holiday grief support sessions and Grief Share's 'Surviving the Holidays' program. Kathy shares a success story about someone who found community through Grief Share, even leading to social activities like cruises with fellow group members. Closing Ritual and Poetic Reflection The episode concludes with Kevin suggesting a ritual of hanging a blue ornament on the Christmas tree to acknowledge sadness during the holidays. The hosts share Jan Richardson's 'Blessing for the Brokenhearted' poem, which explores themes of love, grief, and resilience. Kevin Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of "Coping". Today we're going to center around a powerful theme that speaks to many during this time of year. Kathy Yes, today we're going to be talking about the idea of a blue Christmas, and this acknowledges that while the holiday season is often portrayed as joyful and celebratory, for many it's a time of deep sorrow, reflection, and longing. Kevin All right, let's get started. Kevin So this concept of a blue Christmas reminds us that it's okay not to feel cheerful during the holidays, whether you've experienced a recent loss or a major life change this last year, or you just simply find yourself struggling. The idea of blue Christmas creates space for all of those feelings to exist without judgment. And I would even say to coexist that you can feel both joy and sadness in this time of year. What do you think about that, Kathy? Kathy Yes. I think that we often associate it with Elvis Presley's famous song, but the significance of this of course goes deeper and is felt more strongly depending on what your circumstances are. Churches and communities sometimes hold blue Christmas services as a way to honor grief and create a sacred space for those who need it. Kevin Yeah, and you know, whether you are part of a faith community or have your own faith practices at home, these types of rituals often feature quiet reflection, soft lighting, and even specific practices that can validate feelings of sadness, but are intended to offer some hope and comfort in that sense of community and in those rituals that are offered. And again, they just remind us that grief and joy can coexist. And I think this is an often misconception of grief in general, that the experience of grief happens only one stage at a time, it's like it's a linear experience. And those of you that have been through grief know that the reality is you can feel many emotions within one day and within one moment even. And so this time of year can bring up all of those emotions, perhaps not just joy, perhaps not just sadness, but a good mix of both. Kathy You know, we talk about a season that's supposed to be merry and bright. But like you mentioned, sometimes there's a mix of different things that occur in happy or celebratory times for us. It's that bittersweet that we talk about. Have you ever had a blue Christmas? Kevin That's such a good question. I don't think that there is one year in particular that was more blue than others. Well, you know, actually, now that I think of it, I think 2020 is perhaps the pinnacle blue Christmas for me. Kathy Sure, sure. Kevin At that time, I was working as a bedside chaplain at a hospital that was overrun with Covid, like many were. And it was the first year that I felt like it wasn't Christmas, that the season really had no meaning. And I felt disconnected from some of the decorations I saw up and around, some of the attire that folks were wearing, like Christmas hats and red. It just felt so far from the reality of what I was experiencing each day that I didn't know how to feel merry and bright and filled with joy and celebration in that year. And so I think that was the year that was a blue Christmas because it was like a non-existent Christmas. The spirit of the season was just so absent for me. What about for you? Kathy I don't know if I could think of an actual blue Christmas, but there have definitely been Christmases that have been hard and heavy for certain, where it didn't feel like that everything, it didn't match the moment of what the season is supposed to be. But I mean, I think the truth of the true story of Christmas is also the same. We just have commercialized it to, with the Hallmark movies and all of the trappings of Christmas, especially here in this country, which is why it's not my favorite holiday, admittedly. It's why I like Thanksgiving because it's back to the --Thanksgiving focuses more on gratitude and family and meaningful things. And so-- Kevin You bring up such a great point about how, you know, if you're listening today and you don't have a specific loss that you've had this year or perhaps you can't even think of a major loss in your life, a blue Christmas can still be an experience that you're you're having and it may just be all of those little losses that we carry with us in our lives and the hardships that shape us through year after year and perhaps you're not even sure why you feel a little bit of that tinge of sadness and the invitation from this idea of blue Christmas isn't to to invite all of those authentic feelings that you're feeling this time of year and allow whatever color your spirit is right now that it's okay to feel those feelings in the midst of seeing decorations go up and celebrations go up that we each have to create space for that blue or create space for whatever other color our spirit is this season Kathy Yes, exactly. And there are some wonderful resources that can help guide us through the process of navigating grief through the holidays. The first resource we'd like to highlight is Holiday Grief Support with David Kessler. And some of you may know David is one of the world's foremost experts on grief. His free holiday sessions offer practical strategies to help you honor your loved ones and find meaning during this challenging time. Kevin So, David Kessler is a resource that we reference a lot here on this podcast, and I think what's really special about David's work and his approach is that he focuses on finding a balance between grief that is real and present, but also the season that calls for celebration. And he talks about creating new traditions that can honor the past while also embracing the present and still what is to come. And so I just endorse this holiday grief support group and resources that David Kessler and his team offers. And there's a second resource that is also really beneficial any time of year, but especially now. There's a grief support group called Grief Share, and they have a specific gathering and resources called Surviving the Holidays. Again, recognizing this idea that the holidays can be merry and bright, but also filled with sadness. And so their program offers workshops. They also have some specifically designed steps that you can take, strategies to navigate all of the complexities of the season and all the emotions that come. Kathy Yes, I've known quite a few people who have benefited from Grief Share in our community. Two of the things that -- two of their offerings that are particularly important: one is that they do offer seasonal holiday "coping with the holiday" type workshops, which I think is the importance of planning ahead for when you might be missing your loved one or you're facing a loss, whatever that may be. And then the second thing about Grief Share is that they exist with ongoing groups. And I personally know someone who lost their wife and grief share literally saved his life because he's able to connect with this community. Last I heard he was going on a cruise with his Grief Share people. So it just really was a place for him to find connection and hope again. So we highly recommend Grief Share. Kevin And before we close today, we have a little bit of a homework assignment for you all. If you want to create space for a blue Christmas, I want to encourage you to hang a blue ornament on your Christmas tree somewhere. Whether it's front and center, whether it's off to the side, or just in the background that's at the top or towards the bottom, you find wherever the placement feels right. We want this ritual of hanging a blue ornament to symbolize you creating space for sadness this time of year. Kathy Before we close, we want to share a beautiful reflection that ties into the theme of A Blue Christmas. It's Jan Richardson's "Blessing for the Broken-Hearted" poem, which offers a powerful message about the resilience of love and grief. Kevin "A Blessing for the Broken-Hearted: by Jan Richardson. Let us agree for now that we will not say the breaking makes us stronger, or that it is better to have this pain than to have done without this love. Let us promise we will not tell ourselves time will heal the wound when every day our waking opens it anew. Perhaps, for now, it can be enough to simply marvel at the mystery of how a heart so broken can go on beating, as if it were made for precisely this, as if it knows the only cure for love is more of it, as if it sees the heart's sole remedy for breaking is to love still, as if it trusts that its own persistent pulse is the rhythm of a blessing we cannot begin to fathom, but will save us nonetheless. Amen.
Kevin Deegan reads a meditation titled 'Blessing in the Chaos' by Jan Richardson. It is a calming and introspective piece that encourages the reader to find stillness and peace amidst the chaos and distractions of life.
We start a new Narrative Lectionary year at a very good place to start: In the beginning… We begin with the genesis of all things, and it doesn't take long for everything to devolve into deception, messing up, shame, hiding from God, and scapegoating. If our ancient Hebrew forebears in the faith told this story because they - like us - knew their overwhelming capacity to screw up royally, then I think it's telling to back up a few steps and see how they START that story. Despite what some may have you believe, their story (and ours) does not originate with sin, but with the tender shaping of soil, the intimate breathing of life, and holy belovedness.Sermon begins at minute marker 6:22Genesis 2.4b-7, 15-17; 3.1-8ResourcesBibleWorm podcast: Episode 601 – The Knowledge of Good and Evil, Amy Robertson and Robert Williamson, JrWikipedia article on the doctrine of “Original Sin” and Augustine's shaping of it.“Beloved Is Where We Begin,” blessing by Jan Richardson, also published in her book, Circle of Grace.Image: Photo by Quino Al on Unsplash Hymn: 531 Holy Presence, Holy Teacher. Text: Shirley Erena Murray (Aotearoa New Zealand), alt., © 2008 Hope Publishing Co. Music: C. Hubert H. Parry (England), 1897. Permission to podcast the music in this service obtained from ONE LICENSE, license #A-726929. All rights reserved.
This episode of the "Coping" podcast covers a discussion on the importance of soul care and the common excuses people make for not prioritizing it. Hosts Kathy and Kevin acknowledge that while the excuses like lack of time, discomfort with being alone, fear of silence, and inability to stop are valid, they provide practical tips and assignments to overcome these barriers. The key takeaway is that even small pockets of intentional time for soul-nourishing activities can have significant benefits for overall well-being. Highlights Introduction and Excuses for Lack of Soul Care The video introduces the topic of soul care and acknowledges the valid reasons or 'excused absences' that prevent people from practicing it, such as lack of time, discomfort with being alone, fear of silence, and inability to stop or disconnect from devices and constant busyness. Excuse 1: Lack of Time The speakers discuss the common excuse of not having enough time for soul care due to work and other responsibilities. They suggest that even small pockets of 10 minutes can be carved out for soul-nourishing activities, such as during school pickups or commutes. Excuse 2: Discomfort with Being Alone The speakers address the excuse of not liking to be alone, which is often confused with loneliness. They encourage scheduling a 'soul date' with oneself to engage in enjoyable activities alone, as this can lead to feeling more refreshed and present. Excuse 3: Fear of Silence The speakers discuss the fear of silence as an excuse for avoiding soul care. They suggest taking a walk or drive without any noise or distractions, focusing only on natural sounds, as a way to practice entering silence and improve listening skills. Excuse 4: Inability to Stop The final excuse addressed is the difficulty in stopping and disconnecting from constant busyness and technology. The speakers recommend a 'phone fast' for one hour a day, handing the phone to a loved one, to create space for being present and engaged in soul-nourishing activities. Closing Thoughts and Meditation The video concludes by emphasizing the importance of making time for soul care, even if it's just small pockets of time, and the benefits it can bring to overall well-being. A meditation from Jan Richardson is shared, encouraging listeners to find stillness and peace amidst the chaos.
SHOW NOTES Our texts this week are here Our prayer this week is from Jan Richardson's Circle of Grace We highly recommend Jerusha Neal's Overshadowed Preacher Browse our curated booklists! Purchasing through this affiliate link generates a small commission for us and is a great way to support the show https://bookshop.org/shop/aplainaccount Other resources on our website: commentaries, discipleship, liturgics, music
SHOW NOTES Contact us to have a conversation about supporting the show: podcast@aplainaccount.org How to Eat Together as a Church, a webinar with Rev. Pardue and N4CC Jewish Voices for Peace on zionism. Our texts this week are here Our prayer this week is from Jan Richardson in Circle of Grace, a Book of Blessings for the Seasons Browse our curated booklists! Purchasing through this affiliate link generates a small commission for us and is a great way to support the show https://bookshop.org/shop/aplainaccount Other resources on our website: commentaries, discipleship, liturgics, music.
today's poem is a treat:)!!!you can watch me read the poem on youtube:https://youtu.be/pt57548Ab94by:jan richardsonSupport the show
Today's peom was from the poet Jan Richardson. Here is the text below: All those days you felt like dust, like dirt, as if all you had to do was turn your face toward the wind and be scattered to the four corners or swept away by the smallest breath as insubstantial— Did you not know what the Holy One can do with dust? This is the day we freely say we are scorched. This is the hour we are marked by what has made it through the burning. This is the moment we ask for the blessing that lives within the ancient ashes, that makes its home inside the soil of this sacred earth. So let us be marked not for sorrow. And let us be marked not for shame. Let us be marked not for false humility or for thinking we are less than we are but for claiming what God can do within the dust, within the dirt, within the stuff of which the world is made, and the stars that blaze in our bones, and the galaxies that spiral inside the smudge we bear. - Jan Richardson
Listen as Kevin Deegan leads you in a blessing by Jan Richardson. May it bring you comfort and solace on your path to wellness: Kevin: You might think this blessing lives in the story that you can see, that it is curled up in a comfortable spot on the surface of the telling. But this blessing lives in the story beneath the story. It lives in the story, inside the story, in the spaces between, in the edges, the margins, the mysterious gaps, the enticing and fertile emptiness. This blessing makes its home within the layers. This blessing is doorway and portal, passage and path. It is more ancient than imagining and makes itself ever new. This blessing is where the story begins.
Summary In this episode of "Coping", Kevin and Kathy discuss personal stories and describe how to transform limiting self-perceptions. They analyze common story myths that reinforce feelings of inadequacy, loneliness or invisibility, and discuss remedies like sharing authentic experiences in trusted communities. While childhood stories can instill negative mindsets, reclaiming one's narrative by embracing the fullness of their story arc can foster growth and connection. Kevin Well hello everyone, Happy New Year and welcome back to a new episode of “Coping”. Kathy Yes, Happy New Year everyone. We're so excited to begin a new series this episode and it's movie award season in our household so what does that mean Kevin? Kevin Yeah it's movie award season in everybody's household but our household is special in that I am a Screen Actors Guild member which means that every year around this time we get a bunch of screeners. I used to get them in the mail as hard copies and now everything's digital so I get an awards pin and I get to sign in and watch all the movies that are nominated and it's a fun time of year because we watch more movies than we do the whole rest of the year combined and then I get to vote so it's been a really fun award season a lot of good movies this year. Kathy Yes! Speaking of stories, in today's episode we're exploring the power of story and I'm excited to dive into this issue. Let's get started. Kathy So I know both you and I love a good story. Why do you think that is? Kevin I think that our stories offer a window into our experience, into our lives, truths about who we are where we've come from and it connects us to one another because, although we may not have come from the same background, the same experience, there's this common or shared humanity that each of us has that connects us on a deeper level and our pursuit for meaning and for connection. Kathy Yes absolutely. I think that the power of story has the ability to change the way that we perceive ourselves, others, and to bring us together in a world that right now seems so divided. Kevin That's right. You know, both you and I are in the business of story catching. As a hospital chaplain, I spend my days listening to people's stories and their experiences with new diagnosis and illness and recovery. I spend a lot of the time listening and hearing their story, affirming them. You do the same work as a life and vocation coach. A lot of your time is spent listening and capturing people's stories. Although we do give counsel and we do give guidance and reframing to people's stories, a large majority of the time spent is listening and hearing people's stories. Kathy Yeah, 100%. I love Harry Johnson's quote. He says, "we are all story. We are the stories we are told and we are the stories we tell ourselves." So I wonder, how are you the story you were told? Kevin Gosh that is complicated, right? There's parts of my story that were told about me that I have spent a lifetime and a lot of therapy trying to overcome. Stories of being dumb, being not good enough. Stories of struggle and generational bondage, but then there's also parts of my story of being a leader, being a spiritual guide, being a compassionate human, being a support person and I think both of those stories are true, but it's complicated and easy to get stuck in the hard parts of my story and the tension of my story. But yeah, it's it's definitely complicated, and a story that continues to unfold to this day as I continue in therapy. What about you? How are you the story that was told about you? Kathy Sure, so I shared this at our retreat on Sunday as we're going to explore this in our podcast today, one of the stories that I was told was that I could never measure up; I was not good enough, especially academically, and always trying to perform, please in my family of origin, and even now feeling that I don't live up to those expectations, but there was a marked period in my life where I decided to let go of that. It's still, like you said, an ongoing struggle to not live into the story we're told, but there was a time in my life where I decided, made a decision that I was not that story that I was told, but that I would be working against the story that I was told into a truer story. Kevin Can you unpack that a little bit? Like first, like how did you become aware of that story that was holding you back, that was keeping you stuck as we've talked about before? Kathy Sure. Kevin And what is the process of getting unstuck? Kathy Well, it was clear to me early on, this was like in college, there's an incident. I knew that I had a problem. achieved the highest levels that I could academically, and I would bring the results back to my family, and they were negatively received or not received in the way that I wanted them to be. It kept happening again and again. And even though I was more than content and satisfied with my progress, they were not. And that's where there was, if you want to call-- it's a dissonance, right? So there are two competing stories and they kept conflicting with each other. Kathy And I had to decide which story I wanted to tell. So I began to realize, even in this story that I was told that there are three main story myths: limiting stories, stories that keep us stuck throughout our lives. And that, typically, most everyone can identify with one or more of these. Kathy The first step in broadening your story or the story you were told is to identify what story myth resonates with you. Kevin What are those three story myths? Tell me a little bit about those. Kathy Sure. So the first one is, "I am not good enough". And you and I have already talked about that story myth and how it resonates within our lives. The child that somehow cannot please their parents in whatever way, looking for attention, wanting to be a star student. Not that there's anything wrong with all of the things that we're talking about, but when that becomes your perpetuating motive in your life, you're not living into your true story. You are still trying to be good enough. So the first story myth is, "I am not good enough". Kevin And how do we overcome it? Overcome if that is our story that is holding us back. How do we overcome that feeling? Because I know there's been times in my life where that was the story that was told about me, but I believed it. And the evidence that I had in my life was that what I was doing wasn't good enough. I wasn't living to my fullest potential. So, like thinking back to my 18, 19 year-old self, what could I say to him to help him in that story that he was stuck in, that I was stuck in and believed about myself because it was largely true. Kathy Well, this is where the power of story does come in. Number one would be to acknowledge maybe the places where you aren't good enough and begin to step out of the thick story into a broader story that is more a story of growth and change. So for me, for example, if I continued to believe the myth that I just wasn't good enough academically, that mindset would not help me to achieve. Instead, I had to begin to consider the possibility that maybe I was good enough and that that could potentially spark more growth and more abilities for me to step into the power and strengths that I actually had in my life. Instead of being stuck in, "Oh, that's Kathy, she just can't make the grades." Kevin Yeah, the way that I think about it is sometimes the way that we tell our story is that it's set, that there's a finality to it, right? That this is who I am and I'm not going to change. I'm not capable of change. What you're saying is the power of story is considering the possibility that, although it may be true that I'm not enough or my grades are not what I want them to be or my life is not what I want it to be, considering the possibility that maybe the story isn't set, maybe it isn't finished, maybe it isn't the final chapter, that maybe it's true that it's not enough and I want something to be different. And so I'm living into a new story out of that truth of I don't feel enough, but I'm going to seek out ways to have that story unfold in a new way going forward. That's so good. I think that makes so much sense that would be super intuitive for my young self that there was a lot that was pointing to the fact that I wasn't good enough and I wouldn't really amount to anything. I don't really know how things turned around for me, but looking back, I didn't want that to be my story. Kathy So you began to surround yourself with people who would write a new story for you. That's what happened in your life. I was there. You were around people like me who said, "no, your story isn't the, 'I didn't graduate from high school kid'. Your story is the story of someone who has a dream to go to Los Angeles and dream bigger than you can ever imagine for yourself and for your life." Kevin But part of it, I don't know if this is another, if this is related to another story myth, but I also believe that I was the only one that was struggling in this way that everybody else around me had their life together. I was the only one that was struggling. And what I learned is that those people around me that had their lives on a different path had come through a lot of trials and challenges and had overcome those. And because I learned that that was possible, I believed a new story for myself. Kathy And so you're touching on the second limiting story myth and that is "I am alone". Kevin Oh wow. Kathy "I am the only one going through this. No one understands." And here's the thing. It's true that nobody has gone through exactly what you're going through, when you're going through it, how you're going through it. But it's not true when we take on a mindfulness perspective about our story that says, "Okay, I am broke. I don't have any money. I don't know, I'm gonna lose my house." That there are others going through that right now, even as you say these words, right? And the antidote to this is the power of story because then you connect. Feeling alone is disconnecting. Sharing your story is connecting. Kevin How do you encourage somebody who's stuck in the "I am alone" story? It seems as though with this myth, there can be like a catch-22 scenario where they're alone and they don't have anybody to share their story with. And if sharing their story is gonna make them feel less alone, how do they break out of that? How does one who is actually alone and feels alone start using the power of their story to be less alone? Kathy Sure, and we don't wanna minimize the loneliness. The surgeon general has said that we're in an epidemic of loneliness. He's declared it a national emergency. So we're not minimizing anyone's loneliness or feelings of alone today. We wanna tell you that it is real. And so as he said, and as we say it, Be Well, "the antidote to loneliness is to reach out", is to find community, is to join a class, to go to your faith center community, to join one of our groups. We have a story class starting Wednesday mornings and it's virtual so you can join from wherever you are to reach out, to dispel the idea that you are alone, you are feeling alone. And so of course that is your truth, but to dispel that is by reaching out and connecting. Kevin Yeah, and one of the things I've learned from you and your work with students over the years is that oftentimes the student will start with you in private coaching and then you'll funnel them into a group setting and that is where they start to see some major breakthroughs in their life and start to overcome some of the obstacles in their life. Why is that? Why is it that somebody who is alone feels that their life starts to change when they're in a group setting as opposed to getting that help from a coach individually? Kathy Because we were created for community and relationships. So the mere fact of being related and connected in community is tapping into the true story of ourselves, that the Creator created us to be in relationship, is a relational God and desires us to be in relation and when we're not, we are literally cutting off of ourselves to how we were created. Kevin Mm-hmm, and that's how we get stuck in our story. Our story stops unfolding because we're not in community, part of what we were created for, yeah. And you said that there's three main myths. What's that? What's that third myth? Kathy Sure, so to review, "I am not enough" was the first one, the second one "is I am alone", and the third myth is "I am invisible". So this one is if you grew up as an invisible child in your family, you may struggle as an adult with a need to be seen. You know, it's the "pick me, pick me" sort of like, "oh I am not chosen." It is sometimes related to issues with belonging and fitting in. These folks grow up as sometimes literally talking louder than most people in the world to be heard and seen. It's very interesting. Kevin Wow, and what is the remedy? How do folks who feel invisible and are stuck in the story that I'm invisible -- how do they overcome that? Kathy So the folks that are invisible oftentimes have trouble leaning into their authentic story because they're denying their origin stories. Ironically, they wanted to be seen and then because they weren't, they deny the origin story. So one of the antidotes is a telling of their authentic story, like all the good, the bad and the ugly and sharing that authentically with the world, and with that then comes like we've said before that then they're heard and seen through the telling of their authentic story. They connect with someone who says, "wow, that happened to me too. Thank you so much for sharing that. I had no idea." And then they're no longer completely invisible, at least for that moment in time and space when they're being acknowledged for the very thing that they were denying. Kevin Yeah, I can imagine the folks who are set in the story "I'm invisible" only wanting to share the positive aspects of their story because they're wanting people to see them in a positive light. Perhaps there's this underlying belief that the reason why I'm invisible is because there's nothing valuable about me and so let me highlight the good things and leave behind the things that are causing me to be invisible. And what you're saying is that the exact opposite is true. Kathy But the broken pieces are the ones, yeah, the broken pieces are actually the connecting pieces, the missing pieces of the puzzle to help us feel more empowered, more seen, more heard, more connected. Kevin Yeah, that's really good. Kathy And one caveat I would say to everyone out there as you're exploring your origin story and your story misses, be sure to share your story with a trusted person. Sometimes you perpetuate this whole myth when I know someone who is an invisible person and they go back to their family of origin that continually perpetuates the idea they're invisible and they share the story and they're like, "So Kathy, they just shot me down" and I was like, "Okay, because you need to go to a safe and trusted person to share the story." Kathy So just one caveat there, don't go back to the same places where those reinforced stories were and thinking that, "oh, I'm gonna share my authentic story and now it's gonna work." Anything to say about that, Kevin? Kevin Yeah, no, I'm thinking is that we often go back to the origin of where we adopted that limiting aspect of our story to try to remedy them and thinking that if they can, if they're the ones that gave me this limiting story, they're the ones that reinforced that I'm alone, I'm invisible, I'm not enough. If I can go back and convince them that I am enough, that I'm not invisible, that perhaps that will make me feel better. And what I'm hearing you say is that, going back there is what reinforces the hurt and reinforces the false beliefs about ourselves and reinforces these myths that we believe that keep us stuck and set in our stories. Kevin And so instead we need to find safe people, new people perhaps who can see us, hear us affirm our story and set us on a new path of telling a new story and believing a new story about ourselves. Kathy Right, we wanna add characters to our story and we want the cheerleaders, we want the teammates, we want all of those people cheering us on as we write the new chapters or our story. Typically we can't go back to characters that have been left behind in the script. There's new characters that are being written in to tell a new story. Kathy So today we've learned the power of sharing, telling and embracing our stories to release or begin to begin a new story from our story myths. And if you love this topic, please consider joining our small group journey Reclaim that is starting Wednesdays from wherever you are. We're actually gonna be telling and writing our stories, which is a very powerful and healing in a community, a safe community. So check out our website for information to join that and thanks for joining us today. Kevin And so to end our episode today, I'd like to conclude with a story blessing by Jan Richardson. "You might think this blessing is a blessing that lives in the story that you can see. That it is curled up in a comfortable spot on the surface of the telling. But this blessing lives in the story beneath the story. It lives in the story, inside the story. In the spaces between. In the edges. The margins. The mysterious gaps. The enticing and fertile emptiness. This blessing makes its home within the layers. This blessing is doorway and portal. Passage and path. It is more ancient than imagining. It makes itself ever new. This blessing is where the story begins."
I'm Anita Lustrea and I'm privileged to be a spiritual director. Each time I begin a session, I use a quote or poem or prayer. As I share one of these with you, see what might catch your attention. Maybe there's something here for you today. Today's offering is by... The post Poem/Prayer 31 Jan Richardson appeared first on Anita Lustrea.
I'm Anita Lustrea and I'm privileged to be a spiritual director. Each time I begin a session, I use a quote or poem or prayer. As I share one of these with you, see what might catch your attention. Maybe there's something here for you today. Gabriel's Annunciation By Jan... The post Poem/Prayer 29 Jan Richardson appeared first on Anita Lustrea.
In this short solo episode, Karen shares Jan Richardson's "Blessing for the Longest Night" and an update on her wife's cancer journey. Visit karenhager.com to book an intuitive session and find out about upcoming classes. The annual Holiday Sale, with 20% off sessions and gift certificates, is on now through 1/8. ------- The blessing read in this episode is © Jan Richardson from The Cure for Sorrow: A Book of Blessings for Times of Grief. janrichardson.com
SHOW NOTES Our texts this week are here Our prayer this week: “Blessing to Summon Rejoicing” by Jan Richardson from Circle of Grace “In Death Valley, A Rare Lake Comes Alive” New York Times Inciting Joy, by Ross Gay Browse our curated booklists! Purchasing through this affiliate link generates a small commission for us and is a great way to support the show https://bookshop.org/shop/aplainaccount Other resources on our website: commentaries, discipleship, liturgics, music.
As the light shifts with shorter days and longer nights, we experience more physical and emotional darkness. On this week's episode, I share a poem that has been a beautiful reminder for me that the light does come, even when the darkness enfolds us. May we trust that the light will come. May we know that the light is seeking us. May we lift our faces to let the light find us. Follow the links below for the poem, to Jan Richardson and Shawna Emerick. Enjoy the podcast! Links: Poem: How the Light Comes by Jan Richardson Jan Richardson's Web Site IG: Jan Richardson Studio IG: Shawna Emerick Shawna's Web Site
Jeremiah pens some of the most beautiful words of hope to his community. But those hope-filled words are smack in the middle of horrors. Pan back even just a few verses, and one can see that Jeremiah is writing from prison, where his people are under siege by the Babylonian Empire, their towns and cities are ravaged, homes and even palaces are in rubble, and the streets are filled with corpses. sigh. What does hope even mean in the context of such devastation and sorrow in Jeremiah's world and in ours? If hope is as puny as mere optimism, it might not mean much. But hope is a fierce practice that only makes sense in the face of the hopeless. As we engage both the expectant Advent of our communal church life, and the joyous cultural festival of Christmas in the wider community, how might we stoke and nurture our practice of hope in a broken and beautiful world?Sermon begins at minute marker 5:00Jeremiah 33.10-18ResourcesBibleWorm podcast: Episode 513 – Hope Against Hope, Amy Robertson and Robert Williamson, Jr.“Why Christmas Is Canceled In Bethlehem,” analysis by Ishaan Tharoor, The Washington Post, November 29, 2023.Cole Arthur Riley, Black Liturgies. “Advent, a season where we make space for grief, longing, sacred darkness, and silence…” Inhale: The world feels dim. Exhale: But we dream in the dark.Jan Richardson, “That Wild Advent Hope,” sent by email November 30, 2023.Image: First Sunday of Advent at SMC 2023, photo by Pastor MeganHymn: VT 236, Creator of the Stars of Night. Words: Conditor alme siderum, 9th c.; trans. John Mason Neale (England), 1851, rev. The Hymnal, 1940, alt., © 1985 Church Pension Fund. Music: Sarum plainsong (England), ca. 9th c. Permission to podcast the music in this service obtained from One License with license #A-726929. All rights reserved.
I'm Anita Lustrea and I'm privileged to be a spiritual director. Each time I begin a session, I use a quote or poem or prayer. As I share one of these with you, see what might catch your attention. Maybe there's something here for you today. Todays reading is the... The post Poem/Prayer 26 – Jan Richardson appeared first on Anita Lustrea.
SHOW NOTES Our texts this week are here Our prayer this week: “Blessing When the World is Ending,” Jan Richardson from Circle of Grace Alicia's Advent playlist and Matt's Advent EP Alicia mentioned Kintsugi pottery. Learn more about the beauty in the art of repair. Browse our curated booklists! Purchasing through this affiliate link generates a small commission for us and is a great way to support the show https://bookshop.org/shop/aplainaccount Other resources on our website: commentaries, discipleship, liturgics, music.
SHOW NOTES Our texts this week are here Our prayer this week is from The Lives We Actually Have – “Collective Grief” (p 74-75) Alicia mentions Dr. Mekel Harris's Instagram account. Check out her full website here. Megan mentions Jan Richardson's book, The Cure for Sorrow Browse our curated booklists! Purchasing through this affiliate link generates a small commission for us and is a great way to support the show https://bookshop.org/shop/aplainaccount Other resources on our website: commentaries, discipleship, liturgics, music.
Where does our courage come from? It certainly (and paradoxically) doesn't come from our efforts to make ourselves safe, or strong, or to armour ourselves against the world. Indeed, it may be that our courage really comes from what is most vulnerable in us, and what is most true - the something in us that lives very close to fear, and is also a neighbour to joy. Hosted, as always, by Lizzie Winn and Justin Wise of Thirdspace. Turning Towards Life, a week-by-week conversation inviting us deeply into our lives, is a live 30 minute conversation hosted by Justin Wise and Lizzie Winn of Thirdspace. Find us on FaceBook to watch live and join in the lively conversation on this episode. You can find videos of every episode, and more about the project on the Turning Towards Life website, and you can also watch and listen on Instagram, YouTube, and as a podcast on Apple, Google, Amazon Music and Spotify. Here's our source for this week: Blessing of Courage I cannot say where it lives, only that it comes to the heart that is open, to the heart that asks, to the heart that does not turn away. It can take practice, days of tugging at what keeps us bound, seasons of pushing against what keeps our dreaming small. When it arrives, it might surprise you by how quiet it is, how it moves with such grace for possessing such power. But you will know it by the strength that rises from within you to meet it, by the release of the knot in the center of your chest that suddenly lets go. You will recognize it by how still your fear becomes as it loosens its grip, perhaps never quite leaving you, but calmly turning into joy as you enter the life that is finally your own. by Jan Richardson
I'm Anita Lustrea and I'm privileged to be a spiritual director. Each time I begin a session, I use a quote or poem or prayer. As I share one of these with you, see what might catch your attention. Maybe there's something here for you today. The post Poem/Prayer 15 – Jan Richardson appeared first on Anita Lustrea.
Some personal reflections on public/private life tensions, moving to another state, thresholds spaces, and a few other things going on in my life. Thanks for all your support. The title is a reference to a poem by Jan Richardson called A Blessing in the Dust, which I read at the end of podcast. Enjoy!
The Common Good podcast is a conversation about the significance of place, eliminating economic isolation and the structure of belonging. For this episode we speak with Dr. Martin Accad about a theology of staying, how it's developed into a theology of hope and resistance and the ways in which it has manifested in his work as an urban beekeeper. Martin Accad has a DPhil from the University of Oxford, UK. Formerly, he was the Chief Academic Officer at the Arab Baptist Theological Seminary in Mansourieh, Lebanon. Dr. Accad is now the Director the Action Research Associates in Beirut. The vision of the ARA is “To see peace, reconciliation, and a new sense of the common good develop among the various communities of Lebanon.” Urban Bees Beirut deals with honey production from three perspectives:An economic perspective, initiating urban honey production in Lebanon.An ecological perspective, surveying the environment of honey production and locations related to the ecological history of Lebanon in innovative ways.A normative perspective, protecting ecosystems and developing ecological awareness.The blessing shared by Jan Richardson can be found here.This episode was hosted and produced by Joey Taylor and the music is from Jeff Gorman. You can find more information about the Common Good Collective here. Common Good Podcast is a production of Bespoken Live & Common Change - Eliminating Personal Economic Isolation.
Easter is one of the most important holidays in the Christian tradition and one that can sometimes feel confusing to UUs. Today we'll tell that ancient, awe-inspiring story of Jesus's resurrection and wonder about what it means to find hope in impossible places. Referenced in this sermon: The Magdalene's Blessing by Jan Richardson: https://sanctuaryofwomen.com/blog/the-magdalenes-blessing/ Written by: Rev. Laurel Gray and Amanda Hall Music by: Kala Farnham Hosted and Edited by: Amanda Hall
Few people like the dark... especially when that darkness invades our everyday living. Ignoring it, however, will not make it go away. If anything, facing it head-on will only make the light that shines in the darkness that much brighter. Some say that you can't celebrate the light of Easter without having experienced the darkness of Good Friday. In this episode of Coffee to Go, hosts Karin Peter and Blake Smith will explore the darkness of Good Friday, and offer some helpful thoughts to acknowledge it, struggle with it and know that God is there in the midst of it with us. “When Senseless Violence,” Community of Christ Sings 205 Words: Joy F. Patterson, 1931– , alt. Music: Alfred Morton Smith, 1879–1971; arr. Kermit G. Moldenhauer, 1949– Jan Richardson, "A Blessing for the Brokenhearted."Download TranscriptThanks for listening to Project Zion Podcast!Follow us on Facebook and Instagram!
Join us each day of Holy Week for an audio devotion. Watch the video version on our YouTube channel! Reading: “Blessing in the Chaos” (from The Cure for Sorrow: A Book of Blessings for Times of Grief, Wanton Gospeller Press, 2020. ©Jan Richardson. janrichardson.com) Scripture: John 12:20-36 First Presbyterian Church, New Bern, North Carolina, established in 1817. A Congregation of the Presbyterian Church (USA). Building community, transforming lives, engaging the world. See more at https://www.firstpresnb.org Follow us on social media at https://www.facebook.com/firstpresnb Watch our virtual service each week at https://youtube.com/channel/UCKw0GnheJfOUlVv_g5bBrEw Permission to podcast/stream live music in this service obtained from ONE LICENSE, License A-701790 and CCLI 3202763. All rights reserved. Permission to podcast/stream recorded music from artist.io.
In today's Conversation, I spoke with Dr. Jan Richardson, who is a longtime educator, author, and literacy consultant. We discussed her starting off as a math teacher, working in a variety of environments, perspective on Guided Reading, and the change in the literacy landscape. Be Phenomenal, Mr. Short Check thephenomenalstudent.com or Subscribe to the podcast onhttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-phenomenal-student-podcast/id1607341077 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3KxzpXy9ULoGIGeIYal9lP or an Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-phenomenal-student-podcast/id1607341077 Follow me on Tik Tok: @thephenomenalteacher and Twitter: @Mr100teacher Richardson's Resources: https://www.janrichardsonreading.com/copy-of-sample-meal-plan-1 --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/jeremiah-short0/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/jeremiah-short0/support
This Ash Wednesday, as we consider our fallibility in loving perfectly and yet our strong need for community and connection as humans, we're talking about four encompassing and diverse ways of love in a marriage. Join us as we discuss eros, filial love, affectionate love, and agape love so you can see which ones you're thriving in and which ones you need support in with today's refreshing reminders as we allow in some practical encouragement from CS Lewis' work, The Four Loves. We're also doing a brief reflection together so we can engage with God for strength and encouragement on the journey together this Ash Wednesday. Jan Richardson's Ash Wednesday: Blessing the Dust Become an E + M Certified Coach - Classes Start Feb 23! Sign up here! Head on over to enneagramandmarriage.com to check out all of our Enneagram & Marriage freebies and resources! Instagram: @enneagramandmarriage | @enneagrammarriagepod Facebook @enneagramandmarriage Love what you're learning on E + M? We would be honored if you'd leave a review so others can find us too right here at Apple or on Spotify here!
111: Jan Richardson is still defending three-cueing. Here's my response.Click here for this episode's show notes.
110: In this episode, I respond to Michele Dufresne's defense of using leveled A and B texts in guided reading lessons.Click here for this episode's show notes.
What does using our intuition feel like? In this episode, we talk with Diana's mom, Theresa Lebeiko. Diana considers Theresa to be a huge inspiration and source of support throughout her entrepreneurial journey. She was an English teacher, a vision disability rehabilitation educator, and considers herself a fan of literature and the arts. She talks about her experience with being first-generation college educated, her husband being an entrepreneur, and now supporting Diana through her ventures. In this episode, we referenced: · The passage that Theresa reads is from Circle of Grace by Jan Richardson, which is a Christian spiritual book of blessings and poems. (affiliate link) · Diana outed herself as a picky eater. · The song about tacky housing may have been a reference to Little Boxes by Malvina Reynolds. --- I'm Jacen from Hawthorne Union, a professional coach. Join me as I discuss career development, personal and professional growth, and leadership from a coach's point of view. Contact: jacen@hawthorneunion.com
Jan Richardson and Michele Dufresne, guided reading gurus, recently shared a presentation in which they stated that the media is misinterpreting the science of reading and giving guided reading a bad rap. Were they correct? Is traditional guided reading worth saving? Here's my reaction to their presentation.Click here for the show notes for this episode.
A sermon by Paul Peters Derry from January 1, 2023, which we marked as the Feast of the Naming of Jesus. Subscribe to the show wherever you listen to audio and recommend this episode to your friends. We invite you to rate us or write a review of what we are doing on Apple Podcasts. Reviews help others join the conversation.* * *This podcast is created at saint benedict's table, a congregation of the Anglican Church of Canada in Winnipeg, where we've been making great audio since 2006. Listen to other recent episodes on our website and see our entire catalogue of over 600 shows on our hosting page.Our MissionTo provide rich and stimulating audio resources to the wider church and engage topics and issues relevant to the concerns and questions of the larger culture in which we live.
This Soul Cafe Podcast featuring permission granted music by: Della Mae and The Sea the Sea.Public domain music: Huron Carol in part accompanied on piano by Jill NewsomeSpecial substack reading by permission authored by Carrie Newcomer. www.carrienewcomer.substack.comBlessing by: Jan Richardson.
SHOW NOTES Christmas | Luke 2:1-20 Our texts this week are here Our prayer this week: by Jan Richardson from her book Circle of Grace The Gospel in Solentiname, by Ernesto Cardenal St. Oscar Romero, I Bring You Great News: A Saviour Has Been Born to You Celeste Ng, Our Missing Hearts Music for the season: Alicia's Advent Playlist and Matt's Advent EP Our in-house Advent devotional guide: Prepare the Way Join us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/aplainaccount Browse our curated booklists! Purchasing through this affiliate link generates a small commission for us and is a great way to support the show https://bookshop.org/shop/aplainaccount Other resources on our website: commentaries, discipleship, liturgics, music.
SHOW NOTES Our texts this week are here Our prayer this week is by Jan Richardson from her book Circle of Grace Alicia reads from the commentary notes in the Life With God Study Bible (NRSV) published by Renovare, and she highly recommends this bible “And a Soul Felt Its Worth: a Sermon on an Overlooked Miracle” by Nadia Bolz-Weber Music for the season: Alicia's Advent Playlist and Matt's Advent EP Our in-house Advent devotional guide: Prepare the Way Join us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/aplainaccount Browse our curated booklists! Purchasing through this affiliate link generates a small commission for us and is a great way to support the show https://bookshop.org/shop/aplainaccount Other resources on our website: commentaries, discipleship, liturgics, music.
Our texts this week are here Our prayer this week is “Blessing the Way” by Jan Richardson from her book Circle of Grace Music for the season: Alicia's Advent Playlist and Matt's Advent EP Our in-house Advent devotional guide: Prepare the Way Join us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/aplainaccount Browse our curated booklists! Purchasing through this affiliate link generates a small commission for us and is a great way to support the show https://bookshop.org/shop/aplainaccount Other resources on our website: commentaries, discipleship, liturgics, music.
Our texts this week are here Our prayer this week is “Blessing When the World is Ending” by Jan Richardson from her book Circle of Grace Music for the season: Alicia's Advent Playlist and Matt's Advent EP Our in-house Advent devotional guide: Prepare the Way Join us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/aplainaccount Browse our curated booklists! Purchasing through this affiliate link generates a small commission for us and is a great way to support the show https://bookshop.org/shop/aplainaccount Other resources on our website: commentaries, discipleship, liturgics, music.
SHOW NOTES: Our texts this week are here Our prayer this week is from Jan Richardson, “On The Feast of All Saints” Join us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/aplainaccount Browse our curated booklists! Purchasing through this affiliate link generates a small commission for us and is a great way to support the show https://bookshop.org/shop/aplainaccount Other resources on our website: commentaries, discipleship, liturgics, music. Follow Matt @SonTerreMusic for more info about his EP!
Minister Jan Richardson offers these insights. A blessing is not complete until we let it do its work within us and then pass it along, an offering grounded in the love that Jesus goes on to speak of this night. Yet we cannot do this—as the disciples could not do this—until we first allow ourselves to simply receive the blessing as it is offered: as gift, as promise, as sign of a world made whole.” (Jan Richardson) To Receive a Blessing Have you ever noticed that it is much easier to give a gift than to receive one? “Sometimes it can be daunting to receive a blessing because it requires something of us. It does not leave us unchanged. A blessing offers us a glimpse of the wholeness that God desires for us and for the world, and it beckons us to move in the direction of this wholeness. It calls us to let go of what hinders us, to cease clinging to the habits and ways of being that may have become comfortable but that keep us less than whole. This can take some work. How might God be calling you to find communion with others? Part of the challenge involved with a blessing is that receiving it actually places us for a time in the position of doing no work—of simply allowing it to come. For those who are accustomed to constantly doing and giving and serving, being asked to stop and receive can cause great discomfort. To receive a blessing, we have to give up some of our control. We cannot direct how the blessing will come, and we cannot define where the blessing will take us. We have to let it do its own work in us, beyond our ability to chart its course.” (Jan Richardson) Receive the gift of blessing, For Holy Thursday As if you could stop this blessing from washing over you. As if you could turn it back, could return it from your body to the bowl, from the bowl to the pitcher, from the pitcher to the hand that set this blessing on its way. As if you could change the course by which this blessing flows. As if you could control how it pours over you— unbidden, unsought, unasked, yet startling in the way it matches the need you did not know you had. As if you could become un-drenched. As if you could resist gathering it up in your two hands and letting your body follow the arc this blessing makes. —Jan Richardson
The devotion for today, Thursday, January 13, 2022 was written by Dr. Pat Saxon and is narrated by Adam Carter. Today's Words of Inspiration come from Jan Richardson, “Blessing for Those Who Have Far to Travel”Call itone of the merciesof the road: that we see itonly by stages/as it opensbefore us, as it comes intoour keepingstep bysingle step.There is nothingfor itbut to go and by our goingtake the vows the pilgrim takes:to be faithful tothe next step; to rely on morethan the map; to heed the signpostsof intuition and dream; to follow the starthat only youwill recognize.Support the show (https://onrealm.org/cathedralofhope/give/wordsofhope)
Jen Oyama Murphy of Paper Crane Coaching joins Maggie and Danielle to talk about her work with dreams.Jen is a Story Guide. She has a BA in English from Yale University. She's worked in ministry and Non-profit settings for 30 years using both theology and psychological modalities. She's a dream guide, a mom and she most recently worked for the Allender Center in Seattle. Jen has been a guide for Danielle personally in her training in therapy work and story work. Both Maggie and Danielle were in story groups that Jen facilitated through the Allender Center.Jen is located in Chicago, IL with her husband. They have two adult daughters and so as far as stage of life goes, she's transitioning out of that mother and moving into what she is calling the Matriarch stage, borrowing from Jungian Psychology and archetypes. She is trying to live and lead from a place more of knowing where I'm empowered and called, rather than when you're in that mothering stage where it's a lot of effort and figuring out how to care for yourself while caring so deeply for others. “I think even my identity is starting to locate a little bit differently.”All three are connected to the Seattle School and Jen mentions that on the Seattle School's website, they have a quote from Richard Rohr about the inside edge of the outside, or the outside edge of the inside. To Jen that's a liminal space and she locates herself in that space as an Asian American woman, feeling very much in the in-between and the invisibility of that space. It can be really lonely, with a sense of waiting and transition. For her that plays out for her racially, not being white, not being black and not really knowing how to understand or define herself without a lot of other Asian faces around her. This has been a place that has felt like a place of abandonment and a place where she's forgotten herself. Because she's moving into her middle-late 50s, she in a different place where she's starting to hear Jesus ask her to consider that the liminal space actually is a space of creativity. It's not just a place of marginalization but out of that hurt when there is healing and transformation and growth, there can be this powerful space of transition, generativity and creativity. This has brought a new richness to her dream world and she's trying to pay attention to it and bring it into the work she's doing. Maggie asks Jen what is dream work and how does she use it?Jen thinks of dreams as parables—they are stories that the spirit is co-authoring with our unconscious. Because she is such a cognitive person, living in her head, she believes it is Jesus' pursuit of her and God's sweet mercy that she has dreams. Playwright Marsha Norma says “dreams are illustrations from the book your soul is writing about you.” For Jen this is perfect combination of story work, which is about text, and dreams which are the symbols and pictures that go along with the story. Because she is in her head so much, she misses or doesn't pay attention to the illustrations. Her dreams are stories with symbols that are inviting her to pay attention to something about herself, something about her world, something about who Jesus is and what the kingdom of God is life. Sometimes, she says, it is something she once knew and had forgotten and needed to be reminded again. Dreams are a powerful way God is communicating to us. Jungian analyst and Episcopal priest John Sanford says, “Dreams are God's forgotten language” and Jen thinks that is really true.Danielle has been writing about how are words just are coming out of her and that her dreams give her the texture and feeling. She is able to have a witness and a felt sense in her skin for the texture of the story. A nod back to the liminal space Jen talked about, a blending of past and present, what's real and what we're calling dreams or parables.When Jen talks about dream work, 9 times out of 10 people will say her “I don't dream” or “I can't remember my dreams.” She believes it is because we put so much pressure on ourselves to encode things cognitively through a lot of words. Dreams are this embodied symbol and story mixed together. What Jen tells people is just to practice being aware of what comes up when you wake up—that may be a feeling, a color, an emotion, it may be one symbol or one words. Just start there and don't put pressure to wake up a write three pages of a really complicated dream. You may not be ready for all the content. What comes you when you first wake up may be what the spirit is inviting you to pay the most attention to. Maggie asks Jen what she thinks dreams are made of? Jen had mention them being our unconscious and the holy spirit. What Maggie thinks of when she thinks of how dreams are made is the idea from Disney/Pixar's Inside Out. The main character falls asleep, and we the audience are seeing her brain working on the inside and they are grabbing scenes from the day, putting a lens over it and then projecting to the dreaming world.Jen wishes she knew how dreams are made but for her it is part of the mystery of it and that is what she loves about dream work. She is sure there are physiological components to what makes us dreams. She believes the idea that dreams are the spirit of God co-authoring with a part of her that she doesn't have access to or has forgotten, that are calling her back to herself, back to Jesus, back to the people that she is called to be in community with. “There is something that God is touching in us in a creative way that is meant to tell us something about ourselves that we don't know or aren't paying attention to. How that works or why that works, I don't really know… It just feels like a gift and mystery of God to me and I'm okay with that being how I think dreams are made and what are purpose are to me.”Maggie agrees, especially when you look at the Biblical text – there are many places and times when God is speaking to people through a vision or a sleeping dream. There is precedent for what you're saying. And there probably is some science or physiological components that we just don't understand. Danielle says if we jump back to the text or to story work, there needs to be a witness. In the biblical text yes people get a dream but they just don't keep it to themselves forever. There's a sharing, an imparting, and singing, as was the case with Mary and Elizabeth. We aren't meant to have to decipher and decode dreams by ourselves. Jen believes that dreams are meant to say something to us personally as well as to the collective. If you look at scripture, the dreams are for the dreamer and also as a way to connect to whatever is happening in the community, the collective space. We need each other in order to bear witness to the dream but also to explore what the dream is saying to me about me, what the dream is saying to us about us, what the dream is saying to our world about our world. We know this from story work, that kind of exploration invites and needs other people. Dreams never have one meaning, there's so many meanings to dreams.” This is why Jen loves doing this work in groups: you get the reflection, or the idea or the questions from so many people. There's not one right interpretation to the dreams. There can be lots of meanings and at different times. The more people that you have, like the same with story work, you need to be wise and discerning of who we share or dreams with (and your stories). Maggie says she loves that the dreams are not just for the dreamer. When we initially approached Jen to come on the podcast she sent us a resource about dream work and Maggie thought she would give the guided practice a try in preparation for our time together. She wrote down two dreams she had over the past week and one of them felt like it wasn't for her, it was for her mom. Her dream was about her grandfather, who passed away in 2005. In the dream just her mom and her were in a room with him in his home in Redmond, WA as he was dying. He passed away and all the extended came in to grieve and morning and say a few words. And when it was her turn, her grandfather opened his eyes and said “I made it home. I love you.” Maggie woke up and felt like “Whoa, that was insane!” She has not dreamt about him in a long time. But she thought was for her mom and so she texted her and told her about the dream. It brought peace to her mom as well as her. Dreams are just for the dreamer and it's meant to be shared in community. It feels more powerful, the mystery of it. Jen says dreams can be saying something about our community and our collective nature and they are primarily about us. She says the tendency in dreams, when you dream about people, is to think that it's about that actual person. Our instinct is to externalize whatever we're dreaming or reading or coming across. Part of what dream work is focusing on, and asking of us to look at, is our representation of our inner world, which is harder for us to look at it. If Jen was working with Maggie she would ask her some questions like, “tell me about your grandfather” and have her describe him and think through “are there any parts of you that are like him?” “What about your mom? What about your external family?” She says it's not Internal Family Systems but there are some similarities. These real people in your dreams are real people but they are also possibility representations of parts of you that you may not recognize that you resonate with. So that story is also telling you something about you, internally. Maggie said that makes her a little bit weepy, especially with what her grandfather in the dream said, which was “I made it home” and “I love you.” Maggie goes on to say, “and if that is a representation of myself, then some place, some of inner world, is settled… It is where it's supposed to be…” Jen continues engaging Maggie by asking her to list three adjectives about her grandfather just off the top of her head. Maggie responds with a deep sigh. Her grandfather was extremely kind, deeply religious (what she would call “a holy man,” and he was also available. Jen adds, because he is old there is a time element. She asks Maggie: Are there ancient, old or ancestral parts of you that are looking to come home within you?Maggie said she'll need to ponder it. Danielle notices that the idea that there are these ancient aspects of ourselves, which seems taboo in our current culture to think through. To be able to dream that feels like a safe way to bring it to Maggie's awareness. Maggie will ponder, long after this conversation, what ancestral parts of her are longing to return home and what that will look like. Our family stories are complicated right, we carry with us our stories and their stories [our ancestor's]. Even saying that, Maggie realizes it's not just me and my family, but also the collective, the generations built up.Jen says the other piece of dreamwork is not having these strict categories like gender. If you are dreaming about a male and you identify as a female then we assume it's about someone else. “It's the fluidity and the integration of all these different pieces and parts of us: ages, genders, sexuality, race… To consider those within us, and not just something that is external that we can kind of pick and choose. Again, I feel like the spirit is bringing all those symbols and pieces to us for a reason, so having a lot of openness and kindness and curiosity around why that is? And considering is that apart of who we are? Is that a part of maybe a piece of us that we have contempt for or have forgotten or we felt like we only assigned to somebody else but that identity or those characteristics are actually within us as well.” This is especially so within families, when you start to dream about your family. We tend to put people in one place or another and we say, “I am not like these people!” or “I don't want to go here” or “I really identify here.” “Dreams don't tell us what we already know. They very rarely are confirming or self-congratulatory. I think dream should be humbling to us, in a kind way not in any way that's about humiliation, but about a kindness and a curiosity. Dreams, I think, are meant to tell us something that we don't know, that we aren't paying attention to or that we've forgotten. There should be a tenderness and softness to the exploration."Jen adds that confidentially in dream work is important, just as it is in story work or a therapeutic setting. How we hold people's stories is so important and another's dreams is very important to. Especially because dreams happen in the unconscious. We may be revealing something about ourselves to ourselves, to our therapists, to our friends, that we don't even know yet. There is an extra layer of vulnerability that happens when you're doing dream work. When Danielle thinks about confidentiality and bringing the unconscious forward, she wonders how do you form a group that it's engaging dream work? It usually recommended, when someone comes to a group that she co-facilitates, that group participants have a therapist or spiritual director or some other place outside of the group to process what comes up in group. She and her colleague Kali that run groups together also have supervision—they have a place to process what comes up in group while still honoring the participants confidentiality. She asks Jen, is that a similar frame for doing dream work or a dream group?Jen says it very much is the same. Dream work is mysterious and deep; It taps into the things about ourselves that we don't yet know or that we don't want to know yet. There needs to be a lot of care. She has two dream groups right now and her participants have their own therapeutic or pastoral process with other people, and that feels really important. She is also in regular contact with two analysts—one that she is doing her own dream work with and the other being more of supervisory role. Jen adds that all the things that we advocate for in story work and pastoral work are equally if not more true for dream work. There are some similarities, she says, between story groups and dream groups: they both are working towards transformation and healing; confidentially is key; the idea that having more voices, faces and stories that are able to engage you can be helpful, expansive and deepening; Curiosity and kindness are necessary for the work. The key difference between story work and dream work is that in dream work the dreamer is the author and authority of the dream. It is the dreamer who controls the pace and process. The only expert in the room is the person who had the dream. In dreams, the symbols that comes to the dreamer are particular to the dreamer. Only the dream knows what a cat means to the dreamers. Everyone else can offer suggestions and reflections, but that is all they are. In terms of a story group or a therapeutic group, we may work in terms of the group dynamics. If you start to delve into a story and come up against resistance, we would work with the resistance. That's true also of transference or counter transference. But this is not the case in a dream group because the dream is for the dreamer and they are the only one who gets to say what the dream is about. If they (the dreamer) are resistant, then they are resistant. Jen sees resistance in dream work as something in you that is not ready to hear. The work is asking a lot of questions to help the dreamer find the meaning of the dream or themselves. Maggie asks Jen what kind of inner healing or insights or even interpretations have come out of her dream groups on individual dream work clients?Jen likes the word “analysis” better than “interpretation” for dreams because with “interpretation” it is about assigning a meaning. Jen isn't going to interpret your dream for you. This, she says, is another big difference between story work and dream work. With story work, we tend to give a lot of authority and expertise to the facilitator or the therapist; they get to name for us what they are seeing in our story. And in a lot of ways, Jen says, they can see and understand our story better than we can. In a dream, however, she does not think its good dream work to have someone outside of the dream be interpreting the dream (think like books about dreams or “bar tricks”). This is why she likes the word “analysis” – because in Greek it is the word for “loosening” as in “loosening of.” Jen says then that “analysis is breaking up the things that are stuck so that it floats to the surface.” The dreamer gets to say this is what is coming up to the surface, and they get to name what it is and the meaning of it. The question in dreamwork is less, “what does it mean?” and more, “what is the dream saying to me about me?” Dreamers are the only ones who knows the meaning and significance of their dream and the symbols in them. The dreamer being in control is important because in Jen's 30 years of experience doing groups, 95% of the time the leader is white and is trained in a very Western theology and psychology. Their interpretations are coming from that located-ness, which has so much goodness but also misses her as an Asian woman. And then she misses herself. When the dreamer is the author and authority, their culture, gender, sexuality, etc. becomes theirs and primary. We get to focus in on their particular identity and story and culture in a way that we don't often do. Danielle as a therapist, is licensed and has gone through the system, but yet she really believes that the space is co-created. People want to be told something helpful, “tell me what do” they say to her. She finds that giving some kind of answer or instruction is not satisfying in the therapeutic space. To give an answer often isn't helpful and is not actually what they want. What she hears Jen says is that there is a way to embody culture, to honor it, and to not offer to untie a dream and let it spill everywhere. It's more about the group pulling gently on threads of a knot and seeing what does loosen up. That provides a lot of safety for the dream teller. In Jen's body it feels more collective – it's working together on loosening something up so the dreamer can say, “this loosened up and here's what it means to me” rather than the therapist or facilitator telling you over there while people are watching. Sometimes in story work as the story teller, Jen said she can oddly feel passive in her own process, relying on someone else to interpret. It can feel like I don't know myself or my story and I need someone to make meaning for me, rather than people helping me making meaning for myself. Maggie agrees and believes that is what happened when she shared her dream today about her grandfather. Rather than Jen telling her what the dream means, just by asking Maggie questions she was able to arrive at a deeper meaning. When she initially had the dream, the meaning she made was that her grandfather is in heaven, he got there! But then with Jen's questions, and the idea that we are all the characters in our dreams, Maggie began to process for herself, “what ancestral part of me is home?” or is coming home. Thinking of herself as the one said “I made it home.” Maggie said she now has an experiential knowing of what Jen is taking about. Danielle said she wants to sign up! Jen loves doing dream work and she loves story work, it's both for her just like in the playwright quote. We need the text, the story, the script of the play and we need the images, the symbols, and the mystery of that. For her personality and her story, doing dream work feels more natural to her. She tends to wonders around, ask a lot of questions and ask the participant to think. Because she's a non-majority person she tends to ask about culture—she's interested and curious about the specific things have a different meaning or story because of your ethnicity and culture. She has that orientation. ---Connect with Jen at Paper Crane Coaching www.pcranecoaching.comjen@pcracnecoaching.com Jen is reading: As A Woman, by Paula Stone Williams, The Island of Sea Women by Lisa See, The Cure for Sorrow by Jan Richardson, Gospel of MarkJen is listening to: "Permission to Dance" by BTS, Vivaldi's Four Seasons - especially AutumnJen is inspired by: the 2 groups of women she meets with weekly, her family, her clients, and the sunrise from her condo Introductory Dream work resources: Inner Work, by Robert JohnsonDreams, A User Guide, Centre for Applied Jungian Studies https://appliedjung.com/root/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/DREAMS-A-FREE-GUIDE.pdf
On this day of the autumnal equinox, Heidi and Ellen welcome Libra, the season of diplomacy, harmony and balance. This is a sign of collaboration and potent relationship. In Libra, we are invited to cooperate and reach out. We are meant to find a way to work together. And sometimes the best way to start that process is to throw a beautiful party in true Libra fashion and introduce all your fabulous friends to new friends and colleagues. Ellen and Heidi talk about some big Libra birthdays (including Ellen's!) and then do a deep dive into the chart of Kate Winslet a triple Libra (sun, moon and rising). Heidi reads a poem by Jan Richardson called "Blessing for a Broken Vessel'. www.heidirose.com // www.ellenfondiler.com
This week, we are taking a deep breath, literally and figuratively with our guest, artist, writer, and minister Jan Richardson. In this episode, Jan discusses her latest book Sparrow: A Book of Life and Death and Life in which she reflects on the death of her late husband, Gary. No matter what your week has been like, we encourage you to join us in taking a deep breath.
There are things (guilt, grudges, shame, fear) that can just build and build in us. And we don't even realize how tight and uncomfortable and suffocated we feel until we let go. Experience the joy of release, so that you may breathe in joy!Podcast includes the reading of "Blessing of Breathing," by Jan Richardson, from her book A Cure for Sorrow
What does it mean to be blessed? If you were to scroll through social media, you'd assume that "blessed" are the ones with gorgeous, matching families living in open style floor plans. But Jesus had other things in mind. When the Reverend Jan Richardson lost her husband, she continued to write counterintuitive blessings like “A Blessing for the Brokenhearted." In this episode, Kate and Jan talk about the ways grief cracks us open and the ways blessing invites us to stubborn hope.CW: Death of a spouseFor show notes, transcripts, and discussion questions: https://katebowler.com/podcasts/jan-richardson-stubborn-hope/ To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.