Podcast appearances and mentions of sara brewer

I dive deep into the concept of surrendering to your urges and explain why it's such a vital part of the process of overcoming pornography addiction. I share insights on why fighting your urges using willpower alone is a losing strategy, and how surrendering to them can help you better understand the underlying emotions driving your behavior.   Learn practical strategies for surrendering to them in a healthy way, without giving in to the temptation to view pornography. Discover how this shift in mindset can empower you to take control of your life and overcome pornography for good.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://centerforovercoming.com/post/surrendering-urges-control   If you're ready to do this work and start practicing unconditional commitment towards quitting your porn habit, sign up to work with Sara: https://www.sarabrewer.com/workwithme    

As someone who has struggled with pornography, you know firsthand how exhausting it can be to constantly operate from a place of fear and shame. Despite your best efforts, these negative emotions can hold you back and keep you trapped in a seemingly endless loop. But what if there was another way?   Discover how shifting your energy from guilt and shame to love and tenderness can revolutionize your journey to freedom from pornography. Learn practical strategies for making this shift and experience the profound impact it can have on your life.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://centerforovercoming.com/post/most-important-shift   If you're ready to do this work and start practicing unconditional commitment towards quitting your porn habit, sign up to work with Sara: https://www.sarabrewer.com/workwithme   Sara is now recording podcast episodes LIVE (via the internet) and taking your questions in real-time! These events are free, and an amazing way to get more help. If you'd like the links and schedules to attend, sign up here: https://centerforovercoming.com/podcastlive

We sit down with Daniel, a client who has been working diligently with coach Jessica to overcome his pornography habit. Daniel shares his journey of shifting from an accomplishment-based mindset to a growth mindset, and how this has transformed his relationship with himself and others.   Join us as we explore the idea that healing from pornography addiction doesn't mean never experiencing urges again, but rather learning to understand and love yourself on a deeper level. Discover how letting go of the "finish line" mentality can open up a world of possibilities and allow you to embrace the richness of life's experiences.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://centerforovercoming.com/post/whats-possible-daniel   If you're ready to do this work and start practicing unconditional commitment towards quitting your porn habit, sign up to work with Sara: https://www.sarabrewer.com/workwithme   Sara is now recording podcast episodes LIVE (via the internet) and taking your questions in real-time! These events are free, and an amazing way to get more help. If you'd like the links and schedules to attend, sign up here: https://centerforovercoming.com/podcastlive

I dive into the concept of expanding your timeline and the power of delayed gratification. By focusing on the long-term vision of who you want to become and the life you want to create, you'll find the strength to push through the challenges and stay committed to your goals.   Join me as we explore how thinking in years instead of days can revolutionize not only your journey to overcome pornography, but every aspect of your life. Get ready to broaden your perspective, embrace the process, and unlock your full potential.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://centerforovercoming.com/post/expand-your-timeline   If you're ready to do this work and start practicing unconditional commitment towards quitting your porn habit, sign up to work with Sara: https://www.sarabrewer.com/workwithme   Sara is now recording podcast episodes LIVE (via the internet) and taking your questions in real-time! These events are free, and an amazing way to get more help. If you'd like the links and schedules to attend, sign up here: https://centerforovercoming.com/podcastlive  

In this episode, I dive deep into the topic of relapses and the intense shame that often follows. I share my insights on why shame is so detrimental to the recovery process and offers practical strategies for navigating those difficult post-relapse emotions.   If you've ever struggled with the "relapse shame cycle," this episode is for you. I break down the key steps to support your body through shame, challenge the beliefs that fuel it, and ultimately break free from the grip of pornography for good. Get ready to gain a new perspective on relapses and learn how to approach them with self-compassion and resilience.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://centerforovercoming.com/post/what-to-do-relapses   If you're ready to do this work and start practicing unconditional commitment towards quitting your porn habit, sign up to work with Sara: https://www.sarabrewer.com/workwithme   Sara is now recording podcast episodes LIVE (via the internet) and taking your questions in real-time! These events are free, and an amazing way to get more help. If you'd like the links and schedules to attend, sign up here: https://centerforovercoming.com/podcastlive

Do you ever feel like your slip-ups with pornography are holding you back from making real progress in overcoming this habit? What if I told you that these setbacks could actually be transformed into valuable stepping stones on your journey to freedom? In this episode, I introduce a powerful tool called Learn and Move On that will help you do just that.   I walk you through the Learn and Move On worksheet and explain how to use it effectively. You'll discover how to challenge shame-producing thoughts, identify helpful grounding techniques, and visualize yourself implementing your key takeaways. Most importantly, you'll learn how to turn the discouragement of a setback into the empowerment of a learning opportunity. Let's dive in!   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://centerforovercoming.com/post/utilizing-learn-and-move-on   If you're ready to do this work and start practicing unconditional commitment towards quitting your porn habit, sign up to work with Sara: https://www.sarabrewer.com/workwithme   Sara is now recording podcast episodes LIVE (via the internet) and taking your questions in real-time! These events are free, and an amazing way to get more help. If you'd like the links and schedules to attend, sign up here: https://centerforovercoming.com/podcastlive

Are you feeling motivated and ready to start the new year, or do you just want to hibernate a little longer like me? I have an exciting announcement today - we've launched a new free program that lays out the beginner basics of everything you need to quit viewing pornography for good in an easy-to-digest format.   I also talk about the Hoʻoponopono Prayer from traditional Hawaiian culture, which can be used for forgiveness and healing in your relationships with others or yourself. Tune in this week to discover how you can use this prayer to overcome pornography use.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://centerforovercoming.com/post/new-free-program   If you're ready to do this work and start practicing unconditional commitment towards quitting your porn habit, sign up to work with Sara: https://www.sarabrewer.com/workwithme   Sara is now recording podcast episodes LIVE (via the internet) and taking your questions in real-time! These events are free, and an amazing way to get more help. If you'd like the links and schedules to attend, sign up here: https://centerforovercoming.com/podcastlive

My friend Hayden Clark (age 30, married, father of one, lives in Mesa Arizona, former Utah Dixie State University football player, Phoenix firefighter and paramedic, stake high councilor), joins us to share his journey to understand and solve his porn use. Hayden talks about his early exposure to porn (age 7) and how this became a coping mechanism to deal with life. Hayden talks about not opening up to his wife about his porn use before their marriage—but finally having the courage to talk about this once married. Once Hayden opened up to his wife about his porn use, that opened the door to do the needed work to solve it. Hayden talks about therapists (including Sara Brewer's program) which helped him understand his porn use was really a coping mechanism (or “buffer”) to deal with/escape the challenges of life. With that reframing, Hayden talks about the things he did to improve himself to be closer to sobriety. In addition to good therapy, Hayden also talks about the role of The Atonement of Jesus Christ and how reading the Book of Mormon helped him. Hayden also talks about why his wife and him started a podcast, why he is talking about this at church (including his high council talks)—all because of his desire to help others. If you are working to end porn use (or other unwanted coping behaviors like overeating, drugs/alcohol, caffeine, excessive social media use, etc) please listen to Hayden's story. It will help you. And if you are looking to help others, Hayden's story will help you better help others. Thank you, Hayden, for your courage to be on the podcast and share your story. Respect. You are helping so many! Links: Hayden and his wife Dylan‘s podcast called: This Is Livin' : podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/this-is-livin/id1770163904 Sara Brewer: centerforovercoming.com/ Other Richard Ostler solving porn podcasts: listenlearnandlove.org/solving-porn-use

In this episode, I reflect on the successes and challenges of the past year for the Overcome Pornography for Good community. From the major rebrand to building an incredible team, it's been a time of growth and transformation behind the scenes.   I also dive into the key question: How can we create sustainable goals for quitting porn that align with our values and redefine what "overcome pornography for good" really means? Discover a powerful perspective shift that will set you up for lasting success.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://centerforovercoming.com/post/sustainable-goals-2025   If you're ready to do this work and start practicing unconditional commitment towards quitting your porn habit, sign up to work with Sara: https://www.sarabrewer.com/workwithme   Sara is now recording podcast episodes LIVE (via the internet) and taking your questions in real-time! These events are free, and an amazing way to get more help. If you'd like the links and schedules to attend, sign up here: https://centerforovercoming.com/podcastlive

Do you struggle to stick with your New Year's resolutions, especially when it comes to quitting porn? The surge of motivation and energy that comes with a new year can quickly fade, leaving you feeling discouraged and ready to give up. But what if there was a way to harness that energy and create lasting change?   If you're ready to make this the year you finally quit porn for good, this episode is a must-listen. I share the tools and mindset shifts you need to create sustainable change and become the person you want to be in 2025.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://centerforovercoming.com/post/year-you-quit   If you're ready to do this work and start practicing unconditional commitment towards quitting your porn habit, sign up to work with Sara: https://www.sarabrewer.com/workwithme   Sara is now recording podcast episodes LIVE (via the internet) and taking your questions in real-time! These events are free, and an amazing way to get more help. If you'd like the links and schedules to attend, sign up here: https://centerforovercoming.com/podcastlive

If you're ready to break free from the cycle of chronic shame and embrace accountability with confidence, this episode is for you. By the end of this episode, you'll have a better understanding of how to recognize and work through chronic shame. Learn practical strategies for shifting your mindset around mistakes, separating your actions from your identity, and even learning to love and appreciate your shame.   Dive deep into the topic of chronic shame and how it affects your ability to be held accountable. We explore how shame is different from guilt, and how it can subtly influence our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors in ways we might not even be aware of.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://centerforovercoming.com/post/chronic-shame   If you're ready to do this work and start practicing unconditional commitment towards quitting your porn habit, sign up to work with Sara: https://www.sarabrewer.com/workwithme   Sara is now recording podcast episodes LIVE (via the internet) and taking your questions in real-time! These events are free, and an amazing way to get more help. If you'd like the links and schedules to attend, sign up here: https://centerforovercoming.com/podcastlive

I dive deep into the topic of overwhelm and how it can impact your journey to stop using pornography. By the end of this episode, you'll have a clear roadmap for navigating overwhelm and staying on track with your goals.   Discover exactly where your overwhelm is coming from, and what you can do about it. You'll learn some powerful tools and strategies for managing overwhelm, including understanding our triggers, breaking things down into tiny baby steps, and focusing on just 1% growth at a time.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://centerforovercoming.com/post/what-to-do-overwhelmed   If you're ready to do this work and start practicing unconditional commitment towards quitting your porn habit, sign up to work with me: https://www.sarabrewer.com/workwithme   Sara is now recording podcast episodes LIVE (via the internet) and taking your questions in real-time! These events are free, and an amazing way to get more help. If you'd like the links and schedules to attend, sign up here: https://centerforovercoming.com/podcastlive

Do you ever feel strong urges to view pornography, tied to specific patterns, times, or emotions? I call this "over-desire" - and it's something many people struggle with. But here's the good news: just like the scientist Pavlov trained his dogs to stop salivating at the sound of a bell, we can train our brains to overcome these compulsions too.   I explain the science behind over-desire and share real-life examples of how people have successfully reconditioned their brains. I also share the importance of understanding the difference between over-desire and an addiction, and introduce the concept of mindfulness as a key tool in the process of building a healthier relationship with your sexuality.    Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://centerforovercoming.com/post/over-desire   If you're ready to do this work and start practicing unconditional commitment towards quitting your porn habit, sign up to work with me: https://www.sarabrewer.com/workwithme

Something you may have been told before about your unwanted porn use is that you don't have a moral compass and that you lack self-control. This simply not true. The reason you view porn isn't weakness or a lack of righteousness, so listen in to learn the real reason behind unwanted pornography use.   Tune in this week as I try something new on the podcast. I conducted a live stream, inviting listener questions, talking directly to listeners just like you. I dive deep into the real reason behind your unwanted pornography use, and I give you the foundations for making real progress toward quitting porn.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://centerforovercoming.com/post/its-not-weakness   If you're ready to do this work and start practicing unconditional commitment towards quitting your porn habit, sign up to work with me: https://www.sarabrewer.com/workwithme

In this episode, I introduce a concept called the shame-apathy trap. This insidious cycle causes unnecessary pain and suffering, often without us even realizing it. I walk you through how it manifests in our lives and share actionable tips to help you break free.   If you've ever felt like you're not doing enough to overcome pornography, or if apathy is creeping in and amplifying your shame, this episode is for you. I show you why trying to care more or do more isn't the solution and where your focus truly needs to be instead.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://centerforovercoming.com/post/shame-apathy-unraveled   If you're ready to do this work and start practicing unconditional commitment towards quitting your porn habit, sign up to work with me: https://www.sarabrewer.com/workwithme

In this episode, I share a powerful clip from a recent coaching call where a client and I dive deep into this "I'll eventually give in" mentality. We discover that this persistent thought often stems from a younger, wounded part of ourselves that needs love and healing, not just a mindset shift.   We explore how doing this deeper inner healing work is not separate from the process of quitting pornography, but an essential part of finding lasting freedom. Learn why shaming yourself or relying on willpower alone won't lead to the change you seek, and how healing your inner wounds can make the journey so much easier.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://centerforovercoming.com/post/eventually-give-in   If you're ready to do this work and start practicing unconditional commitment towards quitting your porn habit, sign up to work with me: https://www.sarabrewer.com/workwithme

I dive into the research behind thought suppression and explore why trying to fight off or ignore sexual thoughts can actually make them more intense and lead to out-of-control behavior. If you've struggled with thought suppression around sexuality, this episode will give you a new perspective.    Learn the research behind thought suppression, and why learning the skill of allowing versus suppression is vital for you to navigate unwanted sexual thoughts and feelings. I explain why acceptance, mindfulness and non-judgment are more effective tools and provide some practical tips you can start using today to    Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://centerforovercoming.com/post/thought-suppression   If you're ready to do this work and start practicing unconditional commitment towards quitting your porn habit, sign up to work with me: https://www.sarabrewer.com/workwithme

When we stop fearing and resisting our emotions, a whole new world of possibility opens up. Imagine being able to go after your biggest goals and dreams without being held back by the fear of failure, embarrassment, or rejection. Mastering the skill of feeling your feelings is the key to living an amazing life and overcoming pornography for good.   Discover the seven steps I teach my clients to help them process their emotions in a healthy way. By learning to name, locate, and relax into our feelings, we can start to see our emotions for what they really are: temporary vibrations in the body that don't have the power to hurt us, and that don't need to be distracted with pornography.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://centerforovercoming.com/post/stop-fearing-feelings   If you're ready to do this work and start practicing unconditional commitment towards quitting your porn habit, sign up to work with me: https://www.sarabrewer.com/workwithme  

Hunter is our new coach and program ambassador at the Center for Overcoming Pornography. He facilitates our welcome calls, support group calls, and is generally the point of contact for anyone considering joining the program. His goal is to make sure everyone feels hopeful, connected, and knows what their next steps are, and he's here today to share his story with you.   Join us this week as Hunter shares his own journey with pornography and how joining the program two years ago changed his life. We dive into the tragedy that is the shame he experienced keeping this a secret for years, how finally sharing his story with his family turned things around for him, and the concepts and tools that helped him the most.    Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://centerforovercoming.com/post/hunters-story   If you're ready to do this work and start practicing unconditional commitment towards quitting your porn habit, sign up to work with me: https://www.sarabrewer.com/workwithme

Understanding the difference between head versus heart learning has been a crucial part of my own growth. The truth is, we don't find answers in our heads. We find them in our heart. And when we find the answers in our heart, we can create real change in our lives.   Tune in this week to discover the important differences between head and heart learning. I share my experience of shifting from learning with my head to learning from the heart, and you'll learn how to use heart learning to free yourself from pornography.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://centerforovercoming.com/post/heart-head-learning   If you're ready to do this work and start practicing unconditional commitment towards quitting your porn habit, sign up to work with me: https://www.sarabrewer.com/workwithme

What is quitting porn really like and what has to change for you to be able to quit for good? Tune in this week to hear from Gabe about what's really possible when you decide to quit porn and take action in pursuit of that goal. We discuss faith, shame, growth, and repentance, and Gabe shares the lessons he's learned since deciding he wanted to quit viewing pornography.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://centerforovercoming.com/post/whats-possible-gabe   If you're ready to do this work and start practicing unconditional commitment towards quitting your porn habit, sign up to work with me: https://www.sarabrewer.com/workwithme

Do you feel stuck in a cycle of trying to quit porn, only to slip up and feel like a failure? Have you tried willpower, counting days, and shame tactics, but nothing seems to work long-term? If so, you're not alone.  Join me this week to discover the five biggest mistakes people make when trying to quit pornography. Whether you've struggled for decades or are just starting your journey, you'll learn the tools and insights you need to finally break free and create the life you desire.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://centerforovercoming.com/post/5-biggest-mistakes   Register for my free live class, The New, Revolutionary Way to Quit Porn for Good, September 19, 2024. A shame-free, sex-positive methodology that is guaranteed to help you overcome pornography for good: https://centerforovercoming.com/freeliveclass

Have you struggled to overcome pornography for years or even decades? Do you feel out of control, ashamed, and hopeless that you'll never be able to quit for good? If you resonate, today's powerful episode will show you what's truly possible when it comes to breaking free from your porn habit.   Tune in to hear the breakthroughs Sam experienced that allowed him to finally quit porn for good after 20 years of failed attempts. He shares how overcoming his porn habit improved every area of his life, from his marriage to his career, and his thoughts on the long-term impact of investing in yourself.    Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://centerforovercoming.com/post/whats-possible-sam-2

This week, I'm joined by Dr. Kersti Spjut, a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in sexual health and perfectionism. With years of experience running programs at BYU for people conflicted about their porn use, she brings a wealth of knowledge and practical strategies to help navigate the unique challenges that come with having ADHD while trying to change sexual behaviors.   Tune in this week as Kersti dives deep into the connection between ADHD and porn use. She offers her insights on the shame and stigma surrounding ADHD, why those with ADHD may be more drawn to the ‘stickiness' of porn, and her top recommendations of interventions that have helped people with ADHD manage their porn use.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://sara-brewer-coaching.mykajabi.com/blog/adhd-porn-use-kersti-spjut

To dive into abusive attitudes and behaviors, boundaries, and worthiness wounds, I'm joined by Lindsay Poelman this week. Lindsay started as a betrayal trauma coach for women whose husbands view porn and is now a facilitator for Trauma-Informed coaches. She's here to shed light on how worthiness wounds can contribute to abusive attitudes and behaviors, and what you can do to start the healing process.   Discover the emotional wounds that often contribute to abusive dynamics in relationships. Lindsay and I explore examples of how abusive attitudes and behaviors can manifest, why you're more likely to exhibit abusive tendencies if you have deep worthiness wounds, and Lindsay's brain hacks for setting boundaries and creating a sense of self-safety.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/abusive-attitudes-behaviors-lindsay-poelman

To protect and provide is a beautiful energy that can be used for so much good in our world, regardless of gender. However, in the presence of worthiness wounds, these values can quickly turn toxic, and I show you how in this episode.   Hear what worthiness wounds are, why they hurt, and how they might be showing up for you if you identify with the value of protecting and providing. Learn how this role turns toxic if you haven't healed your worthiness wounds, why this conditioning is often enmeshed with toxic masculinity, and examples of how you can use this value of protecting and providing in healthy and honorable ways instead.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/worthiness-wounds-part-2-protect-provide

The working backwards process is all about figuring out what you're buffering from. The value lies in going further back than you might typically be used to, to get to the root of why you self-sabotaged. By uncovering the root cause of your self-sabotage, you unlock the keys to building lasting change.   I walk you through the keys to using the working backwards process effectively, and share an example from my own life of how I use this technique to understand myself better and replace self-judgment with self-compassion.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/working-backwards

Let's talk about shame-free commitment. Whether your goal is to quit viewing porn completely, view it a couple of times a week, or heal your sexual shame, the why behind it is an essential component of your journey to quitting porn.   Your feelings are the fuel for your quitting journey. I show you how to ditch the shame and focus on building shame-free commitments that empower you to live your best life.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/shame-free

If you're currently on a journey towards quitting your pornography habit, chances are you've experienced denial along the way. Denial is a defensive state where you might refuse to accept or look at the truth, and while this is a common human experience, shame and guilt often come along with it.   Learn a shame-free perspective on denial and examples of when denial shows up as a result of grief. Hear about the importance of noticing and feeling your sense of grief and how to find the peace and healing you desire.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/denial

In this Worthiness Wounds series, I'll be speaking specifically to men and the worthiness wounds I've observed. A worthiness wound is the wound of shame and never feeling good enough, believing you have to do or be something more to be worthy. It's not your fault if you resonate, but you're the only one who can heal them, and I'm showing you how.   Learn about the conditioning men receive that creates worthiness wounds and the types of results they produce. Hear why you'll continue to feel empty if you're chasing external accomplishments as a way to heal, how these types of wounds create buffering activities, and why they hurt not only you but those you love most too.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/worthiness-wounds-part-1-the-conditioning

If you're learning new skills related to your porn use, they're changing your life, and you're feeling the benefits, but other people don't get it, you're not alone. Many people find themselves in situations where they feel relentlessly attacked by shame messages. While it might feel like it's hindering your healing process, the truth is your power doesn't come from other people finally getting it.   Learn what to do when everyone around you takes a shame approach to porn. I'm showing you how your peace and freedom come from not participating in these narratives, some ways you might choose to step out of the line of fire, and how, when you learn to do this, you can make a much bigger difference in your community.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/everyone-shame-approach

Coach Kat is on the show this week to address the it's-not-working mentality, where you feel stuck and like nothing has changed. Maybe it feels like you've been doing the work for months, only to keep viewing porn. Perhaps this plateau is tempting you to give up, but the truth is the breakthrough you're looking for is right around the corner.   Listen in this week as Coach Kat shows you how the it's-not-working mentality might be showing up for you, and why you shouldn't give up at this point. Hear why the work you're currently doing isn't going to waste, even if it feels like it, and how we know that the magic of change is inevitable if you don't give up on yourself.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/ask-a-coach-the-its-not-working-mentality    

This week's Ask a Coach question is one many of you can probably relate to: “Does the shame I feel after slipping up and viewing porn ever really go away?”   While we can learn to move through shame in different and more useful ways, I don't know that it's possible to completely get rid of it. The good news is that while shame will continue to show up for us, what we can do is start developing shame-resilience. Coach Jessica Farmer is here this week to shed light on what it means to become shame-resilient and how to start practicing this skill.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/ask-a-coach-become-shame-resilient

A common theme we see frequently in our Ask a Coach feature revolves around our Learn and Move On worksheet. Clients fill in their Learn and Move On before sending it in for feedback, and because it's such a vital part of our process, Coach Kat is here to share five ways you can make it more beneficial to you.   Learn five practical tips for making the most of our Learn and Move On worksheet. Coach Kat is sharing how you can use it to collect data, get more precise about what's going on for you, and even use it in conjunction with other milestones to find information you hadn't seen before.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/ask-a-coach-learn-and-move-on-worksheet

We're diving straight into listener questions for a special Q&A on healthy sexuality. We tackle a variety of thought-provoking questions, from a listener who feels disconnected from his sexuality and believes it's controlled by his spouse to concerns about whether masturbation causes erectile dysfunction. Plus, we hear from someone who has overcome shame about masturbation but now worries about discussing changes in her body with a future spouse.   Learn how to approach sensitive conversations about body image, understand the real effects of pornography on sexual health, and discover ways to foster a healthier, more confident relationship with your sexuality. Whether you're dealing with personal challenges or looking for deeper insights, this episode is packed with valuable advice and compassionate guidance.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/pornography-sexual-health-sexuality    

If you've been working on quitting porn for a long time but still keep viewing pornography, you might be asking, "What if there really is something wrong with me?" There are a few things we need to unpack in order to answer this question in a productive way. So if you have been trying to quit but you're still turning to pornography, and you're starting to worry that something really is wrong with you, this episode is for you.   Discover how the sentence, "There's something wrong with me…" is actually stopping you from making progress. This is a limiting belief that keeps you stuck, and you'll learn how to replace this limiting, judgmental sentence with something way more useful instead.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/ask-a-coach-seriously-wrong-with-me

“What do I do with unwanted thoughts and images that come into my mind?” This is the Ask a Coach question being addressed on the podcast today.   Join Coach Kat as she walks you through the CTFAR model and how to use it in relation to this question, why having unwanted thoughts or images isn't a problem, and a new way to think about them on purpose without any judgment or shame.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/ask-a-coach-unwanted-thoughts-images

Porn use and masturbation often go hand-in-hand, and in this episode, we're diving deep into the research on masturbation to help you release your distress and feel empowered instead. While there continues to be so much misinformation about masturbation, there is no evidence of it causing negative health effects, so why do we still believe it's harmful?   Learn about the worries people experience about masturbation, and why it's actually a completely normal part of healthy development. I'm exploring how extreme distress can cause sexual trauma, why the shame around masturbation is learned and unhealthy, and the damaging effects of sexual shame.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/masturbation

The realm of sexuality can sometimes be erotic, strange, or even dark, and that's okay. If you've spent your life demonizing or rejecting your sexuality, you've probably found it extremely challenging to cut back on or completely cut out viewing pornography, and the answer here is to start accepting and loving your sexuality instead.   Learn how understanding the differences between fantasy, desire, and choice is the secret to using your sexuality for good. I'm showing you the importance of knowing what is and isn't real in porn, what to do if you're distressed by intrusive sexual thoughts, and how to integrate your sexuality into your whole human experience.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/fantasy-desire-intrusive-thoughts-porn-literacy

Last week, I shared part one of this milestone where we dove into what it means to use your sexuality for good and what that can look like. I also touched on porn panic and started dispelling myths about porn that just aren't true, and I'm sharing even more myths about pornography this week that may be keeping you stuck.   I dispel more porn myths that are creating panic, shame, and fear, and show you how most of the research available to us is biased. Learn about the ongoing research project we're undertaking, non-shame-based reasons for you to work through a porn habit, and why busting these myths will give you more freedom and control over how you want to use your sexuality.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/healthy-sexuality-part-2

Sexual shame and purity culture teach us that sexuality is bad and inherently sinful, and I'm inviting you to question that narrative this week. The truth is your sexuality is neutral, but you may have been taught that your sexuality is something to be feared.   Hear my thoughts on healthy sexuality and what using your sexuality for good can look like. I'm exploring the key concepts that will help you reduce the shame you're experiencing, busting the most common myths about porn that might be holding you back, and addressing the moral panic that comes from porn use.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/healthy-sexuality-part-1

Coach Jessica Farmer is here to answer this Ask a Coach question this week. In a world where we've been taught to shut down our emotions, you're not alone if paying attention to your body feels challenging. However, if it often feels like your emotions are in control of you, learning how to truly feel your emotions is vital.   Jessica explains the importance of gaining awareness of the physical manifestations of your emotions. Learn what it means to ‘feel' it in your body and where to start if you're struggling to feel your physical sensations.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/ask-a-coach-feeling-your-body

The problem with trusting other people, whether that's a specific leader, congregation, or organization, is that you'll often get differing or contradicting opinions. This is an exhausting and defeating place to be, and it's incredibly disempowering.   Learn what it means to develop your personal spiritual authority and why it matters more than you might think. I show you what to do if you find yourself leaning on others to tell you what's good or best for your life, examples of subtle spiritual abuse, and how to recognize the depth of your connection to your highest, most spiritual self.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/personal-spiritual-authority    

It's not your fault if you've been unable to quit your porn habit. Most people have been told to just stop, use more willpower, pray, or focus on connections in their lives. These approaches don't get to the root cause of unwanted porn use and actually make it worse in most cases.   Join me on this episode to learn how the quit porn industry is not addressing the root issue of porn use, and why you need to get underneath the surface to truly heal. You'll hear how my approach addresses the drivers of unwanted porn use, and why it's changing the lives of my clients.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/missing-from-quit-porn-industry

Have you ever found yourself wondering why you made a decision that you know wasn't in your best interest? What do you do when you experience an urge and have difficulty moving through it? Why does it sometimes feel impossible to make conscious decisions from your higher brain?   If you've ever found it challenging to think through your decisions, you're not alone. Prioritizing nervous system healing in these moments is the secret to bringing your brain back online, but it can be difficult to practice. That's why this week, I'm sharing some simple ideas for grounding and orienting yourself when nothing else seems to be working.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/prioritizing-nervous-system-healing

This week, I'm joined by sex and intimacy coach for married couples, Dan Purcell. Dan is the founder of Get Your Marriage On: a step-by-step program designed for couples who want more closeness, deeper intimacy, honesty, and an exciting sex life. He's also the creator of the Intimately Us app, host of the Get Your Marriage On podcast, and leads retreats, all with a Christian perspective.   I invited Dan on to the show this week to dive into a specific scripture from The Sermon on the Mount where Christ says, “Whoever lusteth after a woman has committed adultery in his heart.” If this scripture has been something you've battled with on your porn journey, listen in this week as Dan and I explore its interpretations and how we can use it in a way that serves us better.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/interpreting-scripture-dan-purcell

If you're a long-time listener of the show, you'll understand the crucial role your beliefs play in your ability to overcome your pornography habit. That's why helping you intentionally create new thoughts and beliefs is a foundational part of my work, and the magic lies in repetition.   Join me this week to hear why there's magic in repetition, how I incorporate the power of repetition into my daily life, and how using my Belief Plan guided meditation will help create new neural pathways in your brain so you can believe new thoughts that serve you on your journey.    Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/repetition-magic

In Jenga, you don't want to be the person who pulls out the piece that brings the whole tower crashing down. It's high pressure, high stakes, and one wrong move ends the game. This isn't the mindset that will help you quit viewing porn.   On the other hand, Super Mario Brothers involves dying over and over again, but you don't start at the very beginning. You go again from your last checkpoint. This is the mindset that will help you use your slip-ups as growth opportunities, and I'm showing you how on this episode.    Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/jenga-super-mario-brothers

Inner child work is a healing modality that centers around recognizing and healing childhood trauma. It addresses how we may have experienced hurt or pain during different periods of our lives, which we've moved past but continue to carry with us. Taking responsibility for healing your inner child can be a beautiful way to heal who you are today.   I'm sharing some examples of inner child healing work from my program and what to expect as you begin healing those wounds. Discover how healing your inner child doesn't just benefit you but can also heal ancestral or generational trauma and positively impact the lives of those around you too.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/intro-inner-child

Konstantin is an expert at setting and achieving ambitious goals. He has no problem with endeavors that require a great deal of dedication, willpower, and routine. Although everything else in his life was flourishing, he was internally battling with his porn habit, and he decided it was time to look for support.   Hear about Konstantin's porn journey and what his unique path to healing looks like. He generously shares the struggles he faced in trying to quit his porn habit, the one thing that shifted his experience, and his advice for anyone who can resonate with his story and also wants a solution.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/whats-possible-konstantin  

In today's episode of the Keep It Simple series, we discuss how identities are sometimes imposed upon us. They are like seeds planted by others, blooming in our minds until they become the beliefs we have about ourselves. I'm showing you how to uncover some beliefs that are not true to you and how to unlearn them.   Learn the necessity of knowing the difference between beliefs and facts, how to pinpoint the beliefs that are keeping you from quitting porn, and how to create awareness about what you believe is a fact. Discover three steps to change your beliefs about yourself and discover why you need to be aware of things in order to change them.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/beliefs-identity

Andrea Giles is an infidelity coach who primarily works with women trying to heal after infidelity, and she's here to explore the question, “Is porn use infidelity?”   Hear Andrea's definition of infidelity and whether she believes unwanted porn use constitutes cheating in a relationship. We're exploring how to gain an objective view of your situation, why independent healing matters, and her top tips for rebuilding a loving relationship with a shared vision moving forward.    Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/porn-use-infidelity-andrea-giles  

Dan started viewing porn at 15 by accident with his friends and has been battling it for over four decades. From various programs to tools like phone filters, he tried and failed at everything he thought would help him “be good,” until he found Overcome Pornography for Good.   Join us on this episode as Dan shares his pornography journey with us and how a shame-free approach changed his outlook on his habit. He's offering the podcast episodes and concepts that had the biggest impact on him, and he discusses the transformations he's witnessed in the last year and a half of doing this work.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/whats-possible-dan  

If you want to quit porn, the best way to reach your goal is to keep the process simple. We make things unnecessarily complicated and confusing, so to continue our Keep It Simple series, we're talking this week about step two: commitment.   Discover a new perspective on commitment to quitting porn. I'm discussing the problem with coming at your commitment from a place of fear and shame, and you'll learn how to reframe your thoughts around why you want to quit porn, increasing your chances of being successful in the process.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/commitment

Jill Freestone is an anxiety coach for teens and adults who specializes in helping them explore and understand life's big emotions. She's also an expert on the topic of OCD, and she's here this week to highlight how OCD relates to people who want to quit porn and why understanding scrupulous tendencies can help steer you toward the path to healing.   Join us on this episode as Jill offers her insights on the basic characteristics of scrupulous OCD, why it becomes a problem, and how to identify if it may be present for you. We're also diving into how scrupulous OCD keeps us stuck, why it feels like an obsession, and her top tips for beginning to question and heal these tendencies.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/ocd-jill-freestone

There are six milestones I cover in the Overcome Pornography for Good program. The first thing I have my clients work on is Learn and Move On, where we work on avoiding all-or-nothing thinking and turn your slip-ups into stepping stones to successfully quitting porn.   Tune in this week to learn how to keep it simple when you're quitting pornography. I'm showing you why you don't need to give up every time you slip up, and you can use every challenge you encounter as an opportunity to Learn and Move On.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/learn-and-move-on

We are on the cusp of the New Year, which for many people often means thinking about all the changes we want to make and the new habits we want to create. We tend to focus on the negatives, but I'm proposing that we need to pay just as much attention, if not more, to all the wins you've experienced.   Join me this week as I take you through my Year in Review exercise and explain why this is going to set you up with the right energy as you enter 2024. Hear the value of acknowledging all your wins so far and imagining 2024 ahead of time, and questions that will guide you along this visualization process.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/year-review-visualizing-2024

“I'm feeling stuck, what do I do?” The thought, “I'm stuck,” is one all of us indulge in when the path ahead feels uncertain and unknown, but the truth is you're not stuck and Coach Kat is here to show you why.   Listen in this week to discover why we default to saying we're stuck even when we're not, what it actually means to feel stuck, and Coach Kat's top tips for getting unstuck no matter what you're navigating right now.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/why-youre-stuck

This week's Ask a Coach is from someone who found that if they view pornography early in the day, they don't bother trying to avoid pornography until they get a fresh start the next day. This is common when people are trying to quit porn, it's a product of all-or-nothing thinking, and it isn't helping you find peace and ease in quitting porn.   Tune in this week to discover how to make sure a slip-up doesn't ruin your day. I'm discussing how to measure your progress on your journey of quitting pornography, and showing you why slipping up isn't a problem. Learn how to keep making progress toward your goal of quitting porn even if you've slipped up in the morning.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/slip-up

Is all shame bad? This is the premise of this week's Ask a Coach question. The truth is, it all comes down to semantics, and my answer is both yes and no.   Hear my thoughts on why no emotion is inherently bad, how emotions can be either helpful or unhelpful, and how to identify whether the shame you're experiencing is serving you.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/good-shame-vs-bad-shame

"Does learning to process your urge to view porn feel so overwhelming that everything else in your life falls by the wayside?" This is the question Coach Tina is addressing on this week's Ask a Coach episode.   Hear how to balance the skill of processing urges with the other goals you've set for yourself. Coach Tina is offering what could be happening if learning to process your urges feels overwhelming, and how to take care of yourself so it doesn't feel like everything is slipping out of your grasp.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/reality-learning-new-skills

Sara Brewer is a life coach who has helped numerous individuals overcome unwanted porn consumption. Initially, Sara found that many of her clients sought help to control their excessive porn consumption, which led her to concentrate on developing a coaching program specifically designed to aid clients in overcoming porn consumption, in a way that is shame-free and sex-positive. In this episode of Consider Before Consuming, Sara highlights the role that shame plays in perpetuating the cycle of porn use, including changing how we feel about ourselves. She also explains the concept of being sex-positive and offers advice to parents on how to have open and honest conversations with their children. Sara encourages people struggling with porn to seek help and believe in the possibility of change.Fight the New Drug collaborates with a variety of qualified organizations and individuals with varying personal beliefs, affiliations, and political persuasions. As FTND is a non-religious and non-legislative organization, the personal beliefs, affiliations, and persuasions of any of our team members or of those we collaborate with do not reflect or impact the mission of Fight the New Drug.Episode ResourcesArticle: How My Feelings of Shame Fueled My Struggle with PornVideo: Emma's StoryPodcast: Consider Before Consuming Ep. 63: Dr. Debbie AkermanSara's Website: Overcome Pornography For Good

“Do you have any tips on not getting fed up or burnt out from all the urge processing?” If you also feel completely tired and overwhelmed, or find yourself falling into resistance rather than allowing your urges to view porn, listen in to hear Jessica's answers.   Hear why the practice of processing the urge to view porn might be resulting in extreme tiredness and overwhelm, how self-care makes processing urges easier, and Jessica's insights on five areas of self-care you must prioritize in your day-to-day.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/ask-a-coach-self-care

Do you feel more antsy in your physical body as you view less porn? Maybe you can't stop bouncing your legs or find yourself constantly fidgeting, and maybe it's leading to a strong urge to view porn so you can stop feeling so antsy.    Join Jessica on this episode to hear her top tips for processing uncomfortable emotions, how all emotions have a shelf life, and the power of letting any emotion be present until it eventually dissipates.    Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/emotions-have-shelf-life

The question this week goes, “I feel like I'm in a bit of a rut. I got carried away with studying during post-grad, and I'm either slipping up or studying 24/7. How can I get back on track with processing urges?”   Join coach Kat on this episode to hear why you have to examine the stories you're currently telling yourself, her suggestions for beginning to rewrite your stories, and her top tips for going on a treasure hunt for new thoughts that serve you on your journey of quitting porn.    Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/rewriting-your-stories

This week's Ask a Coach question comes from someone who requested feedback on an intentional model. They put this model together to begin thinking new thoughts about their path to freedom from porn but have yet to fully believe in it.   Listen in this week to hear the model that was submitted for this question, understand why the question asker feels more trapped than free in the process of thinking new thoughts about their porn habit, and Coach Tina's answers.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/thinking-new-thoughts

This week's question comes from someone who had a question in the commitment milestone worksheet about finding their compelling reason for wanting to quit porn. This person isn't convinced that their compelling reason is strong enough, and Tina is offering her thoughts.   Tune in today to hear why finding your compelling reason for quitting porn is essential, what happens when you use unhelpful emotions to drive your actions, and how to find your own compelling reason for why you might want to quit porn for good.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/compelling-reason

What do you do when your kids and teens are dealing with unwanted porn use? And how do you support yourself or your partner through the same thing? It can feel scary and overwhelming to deal with things like porn and sexuality, especially if you were raised in a conservative Christian home. On the podcast today we hear from Sara Brewer, a life coach who helps people quit porn. She's the host of the Overcome Pornography for Good podcast, the fastest-growing podcast around quitting porn. She helps hundreds of people in her program and thousands in her podcast Overcome Pornography for Good.What we cover in this episode:How purity culture can produce shame around sexuality, and how to start fresh when teaching our kids about sexuality Shame-free sex-ed is the best way to prevent pornography use in kids and teens How to support yourself or your partner when dealing with unwanted pornography useWhat to do when you find your kids viewing pornography (in a supportive and emotionally healthy way)Links:www.sarabrewer.comFree MasterclassOvercome Pornography for Good - PodcastFollow on InstagramFind us on Facebook---Coaching has changed my own life, and the lives of my clients. More connection, more healing, more harmony, and peace in our most important relationships. It increases confidence in any parenting challenges and helps you be the guide to teach your children the family values that are important to you- in clear ways. If you feel called to integrate this work in a deeper way and become a parenting expert, that's what I'm here for. Download the feelings wheel HEREGet the BOOK HERE: www.coachcrystal.ca/shopJoin the next round of PARENT SCHOOL: www.coachcrystal.ca/groupFind Your Parenting Personality: Quiz HereIG: @the.parenting.coachEmail me at crystal@coachcrystal.ca

We are currently on a podcast season break and regular podcasting will resume January 1st 2024! While we're on a hiatus, we are still going to be bringing you brand new content every single week by sharing an Ask a Coach Q&A from me or one of our coaches inside Overcome Pornography for Good.   Listen in today to hear my answer to the question of slipping up and processing the shame that comes from feeling like you've failed. I'm showing you why slipping up doesn't mean you're not progressing, and the importance of not discounting the work you're doing, even if it isn't manifesting right away.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/ask-a-coach-slipping-up

We're taking a short break, which is the perfect time for you to put into practice everything you've learned over the years. In this episode, the topic we're covering is one of the things I want you to keep in mind during this season break: suffering versus pain.   Tune in this week to discover the difference between suffering and pain. I'm showing you where your suffering is really coming from, why suffering is not worse than pain, and what you can do to stop your suffering. We're taking a three-month break from regular programming over here on the podcast, so listen in to find out what the show has in store in the meantime.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/suffering-vs-pain

It's easy to fall into the trap of punishing yourself if you're struggling with viewing porn. You might find yourself engaged in conversations with your spouse, family, friends, or religious leaders that are in breach of what feels safe to you. Whether they're leaning on fear and shame tactics or want to know details you aren't comfortable sharing, you are allowed to set boundaries while building deep connections and trust with those people.   Learn how boundaries can work in tandem with building honesty and transparency with the people you care about. You are the authority on your spiritual well-being, and I'm showing you how to make aligned decisions, even if that means setting boundaries in your relationships.   Get full show notes and more information here:  https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/boundaries-spouses-family-religious-leaders

Tyson Bradley is a certified life coach and founder of Inherent Identity, a company focused on empowering God-loving people to create identity-based changes that last. He's here to offer a fresh view on sin and how this could be the most freeing work you can do in overcoming pornography.   Tune in today to hear Tyson's insights on why we need to redefine what sin means and where it comes from. We're discussing how our current beliefs about sin perpetuates shame, what we consider to be sinful behavior, and what can happen when we start seeing sin as a wound that needs healing versus a crime that needs punishing.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/sin-tyson-bradley

This week, I'm bringing you the last "What's Possible" interview I have planned, and we're celebrating my client, Josh. Josh's story is filled with hope and connection, and he's truly an example of what you can achieve when you approach your porn habit with confidence and curiosity.   hear how Josh went from feeling intense pressure about quitting porn to successfully quitting by accepting that his progress with porn would never be linear. Josh shares his advice for dealing with slip-ups as you start quitting pornography, and we go deep into all the ways he has grown since he stopped struggling with pornography.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/whats-possible-josh

I'm joined by Jessica Farmer, one of the amazing coaches in my program Overcome Pornography for Good. This week, she's here to discuss her tips for disclosing porn use in your relationship.   Whether you are considering telling your spouse about your pornography use or you've already told them and it has become a point of contention, we're exploring it all this week. Jessica shares her tips for disclosing your porn use to your partner, the potential issues that could arise from this and how to work through and even embrace the messiness that comes as a result.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/disclosure-tips-jessica

While our brains are programmed to look for what's wrong with us, it's not true that there's always something wrong with you. Constantly fixing and solving what we perceive to be a problem is exhausting. And this week, I want to offer the idea that all parts of you are wise and have something valuable to offer, even the part of you that desires porn.   Discover why you don't have to feel shame about your desire for porn, and how to redirect that energy in other ways by listening to it and learning from it. Hear why it's worth exploring what you currently believe is a problem and how to use your bodily wisdom to create the life you want.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/fixing-things-exhausting

Heather Frazier is an awesome parenting coach for parents of teenagers. She had me on her podcast recently, and I'm sharing that conversation about parenting and pornography on today's episode of Overcome Pornography for Good.   Discover the proven most effective way of protecting your children from the world of pornography. We're discussing the value of proper age-appropriate sex-positive education, why your kids viewing pornography doesn't mean that they're addicted, and how to talk to your kids about their porn use in a productive way.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/pornography-parenting-heather-frazier

It can be an uncomfortable conversation with our teens- sex, porn, and the shame that purity culture creates around them. Sara and I discuss the finer points of how to approach our own discomfort and talk to our kids about what is inevitably part of the world we live in. Sara shares misconceptions around porn use, and teaches us the number one best way to porn proof your teen. It's definitely not what you might think. This is a not-to-be-missed episode! To learn more about parenting your teen, please visit me at heatherfrazier.com About my guest: Sara Brewer is a certified life and trauma informed coach. She has helped hunderds of peple quit porn through her coaching programs and helped thousands of people through her podcast. You can find her at sarabrewer.com and follow her on Instagram @sarabrewercoaching 

No matter our specific religion, the language we choose to use, or our relationship with God or the universe, the ability to feel loved, held, guided, and never alone is something that is innate to us. It's our birthright, and according to Dr. Lisa Miller's research, there are huge benefits to trusting in your spirituality.   I show you why developing the perception of being loved, held, guided, and never alone is an important part of healing your pornography journey. I'm sharing my own spiritual practice with you, the difference between head or body knowing versus heart knowing, and what happens when we go through life feeling loved, held, guided, and never alone.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/spirituality-loved-held-guided-never-alone

When it comes to work, your business, or any other aspect of your life, it can be easy to see that success is built on failures. While you might not believe it right now, this can be true for overcoming your porn habit too.   Hayden believes that failing fast and moving on has been a key part of the breakthroughs he's experienced, and he's here to share his journey with us. He's offering his thoughts on the importance of being willing to do whatever it takes to change your habit and why it's never about achieving perfection.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/whats-possible-hayden    

As humans, it's common for us to derive our sense of worth from our productivity. However, when it comes to quitting porn, intertwining productivity and worthiness isn't actually helpful. In fact, it makes it even more challenging to overcome porn addiction. If you're ready for an alternative approach, this episode is for you.   Start recognizing how you link your worthiness to your productivity and learn how to break free from this mindset. I'm showing you precisely how this way of thinking affects your attempts to quit viewing porn, the unhelpful thoughts and emotions that arise when you base your worthiness on productivity, and how to begin cultivating feelings of worthiness and self-acceptance, regardless of your porn use.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/productivity-worthiness

A belief plan is simple in concept but requires hard work. It necessitates deep inner work that can be uncomfortable to face. However, the practice of examining your beliefs and cultivating new ones is vital when it comes to quitting habits like pornography, or any other area in your life where you desire change.   Discover what a belief plan is and why it is key, not just for achieving the goal of quitting porn, but for changing your life beyond this habit. I'm offering you a belief plan exercise you can use to start the work of overcoming pornography, as well as ideas for new thoughts to cultivate.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/belief-plan-2

Sex Positive and Shame Free are two phrases that people usually don't think about when it comes to overcoming pornography for good, but that's just what our guest today, Sara Brewer, believes is one of the keys that help her clients overcome pornography use. Sara is a life coach that has inspired thousands of individuals to overcome pornography for good. Multiple studies show that pornography use, especially discordant pornography use, doesn't help a marriage. But sometimes our approach to the problem is actually getting in the way of healing. That's what I loved about this interview with Sara - she's positive and upbeat too! Link to Sara's Masterclass: https://www.sarabrewer.com/masterclass   For more great content like this, check out the following resources: Next Level!: https://getyourmarriageon.com/next-level/ Virtual Retreat: https://getyourmarriageon.com/next-levels-virtual-lovemaking-retreat/ Men's coaching program waiting list: https://getyourmarriageon.com/mens-coaching/ Website: getyourmarriageon.com Instagram: @getyourmarriageon Fun and Sexy App for your Marriage: Intimately Us  

Sara Brewer is a certified life and faith-based coach, and a Latter-day Saint. She has helped hundreds of people quit porn through her coaching programs and helped thousands of people through her highly-rated podcast, Overcome Pornography for Good. In this podcast, Sara shares a presentation that is now part of the Liberating Saints Virtual Conference. Highlights 02:50 Introduction to Sara Brewer, a life coach for people that struggle with pornography use. 05:15 Sara helps both men and women with pornography. 06:15 Sara introduces her presentation and the main root causes. 07:20 The first root of pornography use is ESCAPE AND BUFFERING. Buffering is an action to escape negative emotion. People try to put on a "bandaid" solution on porn. They don't deal with their emotions. People need to learn to sit with their emotions and focus on healing wounds. 14:00 Shame only makes porn use worse. A lot of members get into a shame cycle with porn use and it never ends. 16:10 The difference between guilt and shame. Holding onto guilt turns into shame. 17:00 It's not either shame or justification. There are middle ground emotions that are going to be more useful in helping people quit. 18:00 It's important to differentiate physiology and morality. We all have urges and sexual desires. This is physiology and part of being human. Morality comes from what we do with our desires. 20:10 Application for leaders. Be careful with punishment and adding to shame. 21:10 Leaders need to stop focusing on behavior but underlying emotions. 22:00 Using a filter is a good tool to use but it's not a long-term solution for porn use and addiction. 25:30 Guilt should not be a motivator. It's more of a signal that something doesn't align with our values. 26:40 Root two is OVER DESIRE. Over desire is something that is learned and can be unlearned. It's your brain and reward system working correctly. Avoiding urges isn't going to solve the porn problem. Pavlov's dog theory and what it teaches us about learning and unlearning behaviors. 32:00 Willpower doesn't work. It's like holding a beach ball under water. It wants to pop up. Allow the urges and emotions to pass through without getting the reward. 35:20 Sara's technique to help people overcome over desire for porn. Stop, drop, and breathe. 38:20 Applications for leaders Stop telling people they will struggle with this forever. Avoid all or nothing thinking. Slip ups don't mean you have to start over. Stop demonizing sexuality. It's very normal to want sex and to have urges. Avoid saying that more prayer, fasting, and righteousness will fix this. Instead, focus on healing. 40:10 Instead of distracting yourself, sit with the emotions. 44:40 Too often we hear a lot of all or nothing phrases in the bishop's office. If you can go x amount of days without porn then you can take the sacrament. 46:00 Root three is IDENTITY. 47:10 How we think about ourselves really matters. It gives us energy for our actions. 48:20 Not everyone that uses porn has an addiction. Most young men and women are not addicted. Be careful about labeling people with an addiction. It can be harmful to them. 50:00 Applications for leaders Avoid fostering an addiction mindset which is an I can't change mindset. Avoid labeling people with an addiction. Avoid members feeling hopeless and stuck. Help members foster an identity of someone that quits porn. 55:20 Bishops should consider sending people to a life coach. They shouldn't dismiss life coaches. They can work side by side with therapists. 59:20 Sara has many resources for members. She offers programs with group calls or one on one appointments. 1:01:00 Sara's final encouragement to leaders who are trying to help those that are struggling with pornography Links Watch the video with 14-day access to the Core Leader Library, including the entire Liberating Saints Virtual Summit ...

My friend Sara Brewer, certified life coach, shares powerful insights to end porn use. Sara talks about the “roots” of porn use and a framework to address these roots in a hopeful and positive way to end porn use. I became aware of Sara after several mentioned to me how Sara helped them end porn use (including Koji Aoki who told his story on episode 544). Sara is part of a growing group of experts in this field who are bring a completely new paradigm to understand and solve porn use. I wish I had known the things Sara teaches before my YSA assignment—it would have given me more tools to help others. If you are looking to end porn use or help others, please listen to this podcast, and connect with Sara work (see links below). Thank you, Sara, for being on the podcast and your great work in our community. Links mentioned in the podcast: Sara's web site: https://www.sarabrewer.com/ Sara's Instagram: @sarabrewercoaching **Check out my new book that has a chapter (chapter 4) about solving pornography: amazon.com/dp/1462139566 **

In this episode, Lindsay and Sara talk how and why coaches need to do what is best for their clients, such as: Recognizing when to ask for outside help for your clientEmpowering your client to find the answer outside of an authority figureFacilitating conjunctive support when it is in the best interest of the clientCertified Life Coach Sara Brewer is the host of the "Overcome Pornography for Good" podcast. Her main coaching focus lies in helping men take control of their pornography habit in her program "Overcome Pornography for Good". She opens up about her experience with conjunctive support and how that has amplified her ability to coach her clients. You can find Sara on Instagram here: @sarabrewercoachingListen to her podcast here: Overcome Pornography For Good---Are you a life coach who is ready to become Trauma-Informed? Click here to see if Lindsay's Advanced Relationship Trauma Certification for Coaches is a fit for you.Want to see what other programs she offers? Check out her website here: Website.Find me on Instagram : @lindsaypoelmancoaching---Your host, certified life coach Lindsay Poelman started her journey of intentional healing started when she learned that her husband had been lying to her about pornography use for a greater part of their marriage.  After processing and accepting her circumstance more fully, she found coaching—which propelled her into a forward focused state of empowerment. Over the last four years of deep dive/fundamental coaching for women in betrayal (around porn use, spouses coming out around gender identity and sexuality, childhood neglect and abuse, substance abuse, infidelity, emotional abuse, domestic violence, institutional trauma, and more.), she has observed that if you're working with humans, you can't handpick clients who don't carry trauma. This is why I have developed a Trauma-Informed approach to mindset work and relationships that take into account the nuance of being a human. She believes that being trauma informed is an essential standard of care for coaches. She created this podcast to support life coaches who recognize that there is so much more than mindset work when it comes to supporting their clients responsibly.

My friend Koji Aoki (Age 27, RM, Married, Grad School) joins us to talk about his 10+ year journey to understand and then solve his porn use. Koji (who is a long-time family friend) talks about how his porn use started, how it became a habit and then how he stopped using porn to serve a mission (Lima, Peru North). Yes, Koji got clean for his mission but lacked the tools to see and solve the root of his porn use. Koji talks about life after his mission and how porn came back into his life as a copying mechanism which led to immense feelings of shame. Those feelings a shame and depression led to an attempted suicide that allowed Koji to fully open up to his parents and get more help. It also led to direct revelation in a powerful moment of “you are enough”. Koji (who has completed two full iron man triathlons including Kona, HI) talks about connecting with Sara Brewer (https://www.sarabrewer.com/) and the added tools and insights that allowed Koji to end porn use. Koji also talks how he is grateful for this whole journey because of the added Christlike attribute to help others. Koji, married in September 2021, talks about opening up to his now wife Kenley on the second date about his porn use and how they navigated that road together. This is one of the finest podcasts we've done to end porn use. If you are working to end porn use, looking to avoid it in the first place, or looking for better tools to help others—please listen to this podcast. Thank you, my friend Koji, for being on the podcast. Respect. Thanks for bringing light and hope too so many! You can reach Koji at k10aoki@gmail.com.

#032 - Sara Brewer and Overcoming PornographyIt's hard to find a person in the church that hasn't been affected by pornography in one form or another. It's part of the world we live in, and it's infecting our families in so many ways. Sara Brewer, a fellow life coach, is doing so much good in this area right now with her program, "Overcome Pornography for Good." She addresses overcoming a pornography habit in a much different way than you have probably heard before. And she's getting amazing results with the people who have gone through her program. In this episode you will learn:why people turn to pornography to cope with negative emotionswhy a fear and shame based approach to overcoming pornography will have the opposite result of what you wanthow the conversation with our youth needs to begin changing to help them have a more healthy view of sex. To find Sara, visit her website at https://www.sarabrewer.com/ or listen to her podcast HEREIf pornography is an issue in your family, I highly recommend becoming a member of her program. She gives a lifetime access to all the materials and it is well worth the cost. 

Discover the dramatic changes Sara has seen in her business over the past 12 months of us working together. Sara is the perfect example of what I believe is possible for everyone listening, and what is available to you when you do the work and implement the high-level coaching alongside the high-level mindset work I share.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://amandakarlstadcoaching.com/116

Whether dealing with a desire to view pornography, or other urges like eating or scrolling social media, Sara Brewer offers a mindful approach to managing them. Sara is a  certified life coach who works with people who want to quit pornography. She suggests that we stop, drop, and breathe, a process that allows us to become better at managing our feelings without acting out on them. We don't have to be afraid of feeling strong urges when we know what to do with them.In this episode:  Learn to redirect your brain from what you want in the moment to what you want overall The goal is to get really good at feeling urges and discomfort and recognizing where they come from Breathe into the uncomfortable sensation and let yourself feel it to let it pass Sara's links: Sara's website Sara Brewer Coaching Sara's podcast Overcome Pornography for Good Sara's Instagram @sarahbrewercoaching Show Notes:   Submit anonymous questions, stories, or comments here. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram for more! Contact us at hello@reach10.org. Learn more about our nonprofit at Reach 10. Disclaimer: The views expressed by guests do not necessarily represent our views. We offer this information in good faith, but we don't make any representation that what you hear is accurate, reliable, or complete. Reach 10 and the Breaking the Silence podcast are not responsible or liable for your use of any information heard in this podcast

Welcome back!! Melissa here, today is going to be a good one! I want to give you a warning before you hit play, if you have little ears around you may want to pop in your headphones. We don't talk about anything graphic or crass but we will be having an honest conversation about pornography more suited for parents.  Let's jump in! Recently I learned that in today's digital world with increasing access to the internet the average child will see porn by their 11th birthday. That really puts things in perspective for us as parents. This shouldn't be a topic we put on the shelf until our kids are older or wait for the schools to start to teach sex ed.  Today we have an awesome conversation with guest Sara Brewer! Sara is a life coach that helps people quit porn forever with a shame-free and sex-positive approach. As parents we tend to either live in fear that one day our child is going to tell us they've seen porn or we push away the idea in hopes that it will work out on it's own. Sara explains her view on porn and how taking away the scary and damaging outlooks can not only bring you peace, but also prepare you for the inevitable day your child comes to you with questions.  Sara talks about the importance of separating someone's behavior from their identity, and how to stay away from placing fear or shame on your child so that you can have honest and open communication with them. We have an open discussion about when your child is most likely to see porn, steps you can take to help them learn instead of hide, and even how to help kids who have been dealing with these urges already.  Listen in as Sara has some amazing tips about fielding questions, educating our children in a sex-positive way, and also how to work through the emotions that come up with both you and your kid when dealing with pornography. As parents we aren't perfect, and there are times that we will mess up but if we take it one step at a time and give ourselves grace then we can easily help our kids navigate through a digital age. To find resources mentioned in this episode or to connect with Sara check out the links below! More of What We Talk About: Porn from a different perspective Taking away shame to get to the root of the issue The average age of kids who see porn for the first time Working through your own fear to help your kid the best you can The stigma around sexuality  Preparing your kid to handle the effect of porn What to do if your child tells you they've seen porn Creating trust so your kids know they can come and talk to you Offering a safe place for your teenagers to learn about healthy sex Teaching consent at a young age How you can help your kid deal with urges Changing the language to take away shame The different levels of porn addiction Giving yourself grace as a parent And much more!   LINKS: Article: The Naked People In Your iPod Book: Good Pictures And Bad Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today's Young Kids Insta: Meg - Shame Free Chastity Insta: Kristin B. Hodson Website: sarabrewer.com Insta: Sara Brewer Coaching   Website: familybrand.com   Social: Facebook: www.facebook.com/FamilyBrandOfficial Instagram: www.instagram.com/ourfamilybrand YouTube: www.youtube.com/channel/UCGu-7odB6gkPbyXpUIQLkrg Twitter:https://twitter.com/OurFamilyBrand   Free course: familybrand.com/10steps   Episode Minute By Minute: 0:41 Welcome Sara! 1:00 How Sara and Melissa  1:34 Get to know Sara 4:03 The effects of porn  7:09 How parents should respond to porn 11:27 How to prepare your kids if/when they see porn 15:41 Creating a safe culture in your home 21:21 Be willing to be uncomfortable  22:15 Sara's FAQ 25:25 Why Sara doesn't use the word “addiction” 28:18 Sara's advice to parents

Sara is a coach who uses a shame-free, sex-positive approach to help people quit viewing pornography. Like many new coaches and entrepreneurs, Sara was swimming in a lot of mind drama about her business, and I'm quizzing her on the fears she had to overcome and how doing this work translated into the success she's experiencing today. Get full show notes and more information here: https://amandakarlstadcoaching.com/73

Hey World, what's good? We are so happy to have had Sara Brewer from Sarabrewercoaching join us for this episode! Sara is a certified life coach who specifies in helping individuals overcome pornography. Talking with her, we realized that while we might feel we need to change the world, it's more important to change our perspective. If you have questions or comments about today's episode, feel free to DM us on instagram, or send us an email at whatsgoodpodcasting@gmail.com. You can find Sara on Instagram @sarabrewercoaching, or her website www.sarabrewer.com --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/jared-hales/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jared-hales/support

We broke from our usual programming to provide special team coverage of the corona virus emergency here in Sonoma County and talked about how it is impacting LGBTQ organizations and people.  Greg Miraglia and Gary Carnivele talk with Sara Brewer from Face to Face and discussed current news related to … Continue reading →