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Leading Saints is a nonprofit organization with a mission to help Latter-day Saints (LDS, Mormon) be better prepared to lead. Here are 4 ways Leading Saints accomplishes the above mission statement: 1. Connect Latter-day Saint Leaders 2. Enhance Leadership Ability 3. Present Leadership Scholarship & Research 4. Celebrate Divine Guidance Podcast Host: Kurt Francom is the founder and executive director of Leading Saints, a nonprofit organization helping Latter-day Saints be better prepared to lead. He manages the day-to-day efforts of Leading Saints and is the host of the podcast by the same name. Leading Saints has reached individuals internationally and has received over 2 million downloads. Kurt currently lives in Utah with his lovely wife Alanna. They are blessed to have three children. He enjoys drawing caricatures, playing basketball, reading, and watching college football. Kurt has served as a full-time missionary (California Sacramento), as a bishop, 1st counselor in a stake presidency, and elders quorum president.

Leading Saints

    • Oct 13, 2021 LATEST EPISODE
    • weekdays NEW EPISODES
    • 55m AVG DURATION
    • 384 EPISODES

    Listeners of Leading Saints Podcast that love the show mention: thank you kurt, best lds, general conference, every member, ward, church leadership, church of jesus christ, stake, disciple, bishop, better leader, saints, latter, minister, summit, serving, serve, go back and listen, crisis, virtual.

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    Latest episodes from Leading Saints Podcast

    How I Led During the Creek Fire | An Interview with Vicki Clason

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 13, 2021

    Most of Vicki Clason's life has been spent in the tiny town of Auberry, located in the foothills near Fresno, California. Vicki loves the natural beauty and close-knit community of her foothill home where she and her husband together raised five children. Her love of community inspired Vicki to run for the local school board where she served for five years before becoming employed as a high school teacher for the same district. She is now retired and spending more time with her 11 grandchildren (with another due soon). Vicki was serving as Relief Society president when the devastating 2020 Creek Fire altered her beloved community forever. A year later, Vicki continues to serve the Auberry Ward members they rebuild and recover to create some beauty where there once was ashes. In this podcast, Vicki shares her experience as a Relief Society president during a time when 7% of her ward had to be evacuated, giving tips and advice to prepare for such crises. Highlights 3:40 Vicki's experience evacuating her family and her ward in September 2020. 7:45 Where did people go when they were evacuated? How did the stake help those that didn't have anywhere to go? 10:00 Vicki explains how she coordinated and took care of those in her ward during the evacuation. 11:50 Ministering is what really helped Vicki keep track of everyone and make sure everyone was safe. 13:20 They had a team of people calling everyone on the roster. 14:50 When there is a crisis there needs to be an organization in place to call everyone and organize information for everyone that is in the ward. Everything should be recorded on a document. 17:15 The importance of gathering. The ward wasn't able to physically gather but they gathered through Facebook and emails. Communication is key. Many were able to gather at the Stake center. 23:15 Gathering and sharing experiences brings healing. 25:20 Feelings of inadequacy as a leader in times of crisis. Heavenly Father will lift you up. You are not alone. 28:00 Vicki gives ideas of things that she feels they could have done better in an emergency situation. Each ward should create a plan and be prepared for a crisis. Links Transcript coming soon

    Are Life Coaches a Viable Resource for Latter-day Saints? | An Interview with Heather Rackham

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 9, 2021

    "I remember standing on a hot, dusty hiking trail at girls camp when I was 14 years old and having the profound impression that I got to decide whether I was going to be miserable or not. It was so empowering." Many years later, as a certified life coach, Heather Rackham is the host of the Latter-day Life Coaches podcast and director of Latter-day Saint Life Coach Directory, ldslifecoaches.com. That 14 year old girl had no idea she would get to spend much of her life helping others found the coaches and tools to empower themselves in the same way: choosing who you want to be, on purpose. Heather has served as ward Relief Society president, stake Young Women president, Cub Scouts and achievement day leader, Primary teacher, nursery leader and various other callings, but her favorite calling has been the Primary music chorister. Highlights 4:40 A life coach will help you discover what you want to do and help you use your agency. They don't tell you what to do. 7:40 What does life coaching have to do with leadership? 8:50 What is the difference between a therapist and a life coach? Which one do I need? 9:40 Heather explains how to find the perfect life coach for you using her directory. There are different filters on the directory to help you find a life coach for your specific problem or struggle. 14:15 How do I know that a life coach is the perfect fit for me? The first session is free and can help you get a feel for what that coach is like. 15:50 Life coaches can help you know if you should get therapy or not. 25:15 Heather explains the difference between one on one vs group coaching. Watching someone else be coached can be very effective and you can get just as much out of it as one on one coaching. 29:50 Heather walks us through what a session with a life coach might look like and what types of problems people come to a life coach for. A life coach can help you untangle your thoughts and beliefs. 35:35 We create certain narratives in our minds. We make meaning out of everything. A life coach is there to help you observe what you are making things mean and help you make sense of it all. 37:50 Heather explains how being a leader and life coach has helped her deepen her relationship with Jesus Christ. Links ldslifecoaches.com Latter-day Life Coaches podcast Instagram @ldslifecoaches Transcript coming soon

    How My Stake Leads Through Social Media | An Interview with Brooke Reynolds

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 6, 2021 46:05

    Brooke Hellewell Reynolds grew up in Laguna Niguel, California. She studied graphic design at Brigham Young University and moved to New York City a few days after graduation. Brooke spent 10 years in New York, art directing magazines at Martha Stewart, meeting her husband John in the Manhattan singles ward, and began working as a freelance designer after the birth of her first child. After a particularly dreary New York winter, she convinced her husband to move back to California where she has been working from home (in more ways than one) ever since. Brooke has served in stake Relief Society and Primary presidencies and currently serves as the Social Media Director in the Laguna Niguel, California stake. Though she cried when she was first called to work on social media (true story) she has since realized the great power of these inspired tools. She and her husband John have four children. In this podcast Brooke takes us through how she runs her stake's social media pages and give us ideas on how to unify our own stakes, wards, and communities using social media. Highlights 2:35 Why stake social media pages? Why not just use the church's social media? 6:20 Where to begin as a communications director. Create a stake website first. 7:57 Brooke's stake Instagram is used to share personal experiences and Come Follow Me posts. Their Facebook page shares stories and experiences of different members. It's a way to connect the stake and get to know people. 9:45 Third hour is their stake's private discussion group to discuss Come Follow Me. Each week a different member of the stake hosts and does a couple posts during the week. 10:25 Youth instagram account. Just for youth 11 to 18 years old. 11:00 Twitter account. Used to share recaps of talks from church leaders, highlights from the Church News, and local news. 11:25 Good News Laguna is a page the stake started on Instagram and Facebook that is for the community. 12:20 Stake Youtube channel. They make videos of events and Seniors graduating or a special message from the Stake Presidency. During Covid when everything was shut down stake and ward members could turn on the TV and see a message from their bishop and stake president. 13:53 Stake Podcast. It's not a formal podcast with weekly content but they pull audio from their Youtube channel or record a talk from Stake Conference. 15:10 YSA Instagram page for people 18 to 30 years old. It's the best way to get the message out because that's where they are at. 18:40 Brooke explains how she can manage all these pages and how she creates the content. 22:30 Tips on how to design content for social media 26:30 Use the missionaries as admins on Facebook to help answer questions and help community members. 30:30 Use social media to help prepare people for events and remind them when things are happening. 36:45 Where should a stake start? Brooke advises stakes to start with a website, Instagram, and matching Facebook page. 37:35 Brooke shares an experience of how using social media has helped her community. Links Good News Laguna Instagram Good News Laguna Facebook Presentation graphics about Laguna Niguel Stake social media Read the TRANSCRIPT of this podcast

    Tony Overbay is Coming to Utah | Will You Join Us?

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 5, 2021 2:13

    See details and register at https://leadingsaints.org/tonyinutah

    Creating Engagement Through Ministering Interviews | An Interview with DeAnna Murphy

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 1, 2021

    This is a rebroadcast. The episode originally ran in April 2018. DeAnna Murphy serves as the Chief Development Officer at People Acuity, the premier career pathing and talent development company based in the greater Minneapolis-St. Paul area. An internationally-known keynote speaker, Top 100 Global Coaching Leader, and author, her experience leading organizational leadership efforts worldwide informs her advice for leadership and teaching in the Church. She was born in Provo, Utah, but grew up in Canada and met her husband at Ricks College. They are the parents of three children and live in Minneapolis, Minnesota, where she has served as a stake Relief Society president. Highlights 5:25 How do we help ourselves and others stay fully engaged? 7:35 How can you understand your auxiliaries strength? 8:10 How can we apply engagement at home? 8:35 To be meaningfully engaged there must be a sense of connection, and an ability to understand your contribution and purpose alignment. 12:00 Understand your role/purpose 12:45 What is the bigger “why”? 14:00 Doctrine and Covenants 43:8,9 The Lord teaches Joseph Smith by council 15:20 Ask good questions/teach by council 19:30 Get correct counsel on core principles. 22:20 To feel alignment while teaching ask: What did you notice about that? What's important about that? What does that mean? What will you do? (How would you apply that?) Has anyone had an experience like that? 24:15 John 17- Why does He want us to be one so badly? That my joy might be fulfilled in you. 28:35 Which of these points in the lesson are important to Heavenly Father? 30:45 The council creates interdependence. 32:20 There is no engagement from a talking head. 33:20 Co-dependence is the primary voice of us vs. them. 34:15 There should not a be a “you people” in our church culture. 36:20 Our value does not go up and down like the stock market. 38:15 When people begin to see their value through the lens of strength they see God's DNA in them. 39:00 We need to understand our identity, but have lost it 41:50 If I'm not judging myself, I feel connected to other people and to God 42:10 Four categories of strengths Strategic Thinking Executing Relationship driven Influencers Relationship-builders 50:30 We are drawn to those like us because they validate us, and afraid of those who are unlike us because we do not understand them. 53:45 We disengage when our needs are not being met. 54:30 What does my patriarchal blessing show me about my strengths? 57:40 What can you count on me for? What do I need to feel confident? 59:00 The power of one-on-one ministering 1:00:00 During one-on-one interviews, pull up an extra chair for the Savior to sit with you as you minister 1:00:50 Be okay with no knowing, and always pray with them. 1:01:25 During the interviews ask them: How are you doing? What are you learning from the Spirit in your personal study? What are you learning in your assignment? These questions create connection. 1:05:00 Finally, ask tell me about the people that you are serving and what do they need? 1:06:15 Everyone is a "one" and there is great power in ministering and one-on-one interviews. 1:06:55 Ask your children—even grown children—what the Spirit is teaching them. 1:09:00 Experience with a group in Abu Dhabi learning six strengths strategies. 1:16:45 Read Moses 1:6 with your name instead of Moses: He will magnify your gifts through Him Links Shift Up! Strengths Strategies for Optimal Living PeopleAcuity.com Instructing and Edifying Each Other in Meetings Teaching the Gospel Virtually Mentoring Relief Society Presidents Through Love Claiming Your Contribution (for missionaries) Gallup StrengthsFinder (CliftonStrengths Assessment)

    The Peculiar History of Calling Leaders in the Church | An Interview with Kevin Tolley

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 25, 2021

    Kevin Tolley has worked for Seminaries and Institutes of Religion for over twenty years. He taught release-time seminary in Utah for ten years and has spent the remainder of his career teaching Institute in Southern California. He earned a BA degree from Brigham Young University in Near Eastern Studies with a minor in Hebrew, an MA degree from the University of Notre Dame in Theology, and a PhD degree in Hebrew Bible at Claremont School of Theology. After serving a full-time mission in the California, San Bernardino mission, Kevin met and married his wife RaShelle in the Toronto Canada Temple and they have five incredible children. He has served as an elders quorum president, in a bishopric, and is currently serving as a counselor in a stake presidency. In this interview, Kevin takes us through Church history and the calling of apostles and prophets.

    The Complexities of Being a Single Adult in the Church | An Interview with Jessica Johnson

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 18, 2021

    Jessica Johnson works in leadership development with the RBL Group. She holds an MBA from Brigham Young University and previously worked in management and marketing consulting, and in television sports. Highlights 2:14 “Tell us about your journey as a single member inside the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints” 4:21 What defines your journey as a single member of the church? I've been able and willing to serve in any capacity. Not being categorized by others. 8:01 Describe the Focus Group work that has been happening in relation to this Single Saints Summit: It's non-scientific data gathering from single adults across the United States. 9:35 How do we help single member feel more welcome or more like they belong? Use President Hinckley's advice about things all converts/members need: A friend (10:47) If someone is sitting alone, it's ok to ask if they'd like someone to sit by them. But it's also ok if they want to sit alone. Inviting them is more important. Are there things that you only invite other families to? Or other couples? Single people usually want to be included in those things too. This builds deeper connections. It's important to know as a single member that someone thinks of you and is concerned for your welfare (especially in a pandemic) Also If you are a single member and feeling overlooked it's important to speak up! Story of no ministering priesthood assigned. Responsibilities: What calling should a single person have? Any calling! Get to the individual! Story of New Member Meetings. “Callings are an anchor to the ward.” Nurturing with the good word of God: Home-Centered Church Supported…. Singles may love to be invited to participate in family study on occasion. If you are preparing a lesson stop to consider multiple demographics. Single, divorced, widowed etc. do you prepare broadly so all feel included? 26:45 Do Single Adults in the church prefer a single ward over a neighborhood ward? Globally single wards not available It's up to the individuals in the areas that have them. It's also important that they be allowed to choose, not told where to attend. 30:00 Story of “You're NOT welcome here”; figure out the “warm hand-off” 32:00 What do good-intentioned people say to singles in the church, that they should stop saying? Check your blind spots: do you have biases or superficial relationships? The single members don't want to be labeled or lumped into groups. Get rid of the “ites.” Men will often refuse to meet with single women, especially in their homes. It's smart to be cautious, but it's also important to be thoughtful and kind. Sometimes there's a hierarchy that is referenced that single lives are “less than or less celestial” than married lives. They don't need pity or assumptions that they don't live up to their covenants. Read Elder Gong's GC talk “Room in the Inn.” 37:28 Have you noticed improvements in the way Single Adults are treated over the last few years? In GC talks, for sure! It's cultural to have “menace to society talks” that needs to stop. Most people engage in the self-similarity principle: we need to step out of that. “Can't we just treat all people like they are individuals?” 40:17 Are the needs of the single/divorced/widowed etc. treated differently? In short yes. It's important to remember that we will never become one in Christ if we keep defining people by their differences. People don't want to be known by their marital statuses. 42:00 Final Thoughts? Get to know individuals Take time to know or understand what it is like to walk in others' shoes. Links Transcript coming soon

    How I Lead in a Mission Presidency | An Interview with Bruce Chang

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 16, 2021

    Bruce Chang immigrated to the United States at age 12 and lived in Hawaii and Washington State. He is originally from Taiwan and belonged to the Buddhist faith, was baptized at age 17, and served a mission in the California, Arcadia Mission, speaking Chinese. Bruce has a PhD in Organizational Leadership and has worked as a seminary teacher and an institute director and coordinator for over 20 years, teaches at BYU Education Week and EFY, and was recently a visiting professor at Brigham Young University. He has served as a counselor in a young single adult stake in Syracuse, Utah, and in the California Arcadia Mission presidency. In this podcast, Bruce shares his experience working with youth and full time missionaries and how to effectively teach and support them. Highlights 3:15 Bruce relates his experience meeting Elder Cook and getting called as a counselor in a newly-formed YSA stake. 9:00 Bruce's experience being converted and baptized as a member of the Church. Bruce is the only member of his family and he has passed through many difficult experiences because he didn't have much support from family. 23:08 The measure of a true leader is to be someone that listens more than he speaks. 25:00 How do we connect with youth and help them progress in the gospel? Understand where they are at and where you think that the Lord wants to take them. 27:30 Bruce's tips to help youth that don't think they need organized religion. Ask, don't tell. Don't try to change their behavior. 29:20 Teach them correct principles but let them self discover. 29:30 Bruce gives an example of how to talk with teens and get them to pay attention when you teach. 35:15 Lead your children into the scriptures. Bruce gives a real life example of how to teach with scripture instead of getting angry with his child. 41:00 Bruce gets called to serve in the mission presidency in the same mission that he served in as a young man. 43:00 Experiences working in a mission presidency and with the missionaries. 52:10 How can we better help and prepare missionaries? We need to focus on conversion and not baptism. It can be discouraging for missionaries when they can't achieve their baptism goal. You can't set a goal that infringes on other people's agency. Control the controllable. 55:15 How can parents best support their full time missionaries? Don't focus on outward rewards, such as, being an AP, zone leader, district leader or getting a certain number of baptisms. Instead ask them to share experiences and how they have seen God in their lives. Ask them not if they get along with their companion but what they have learned or like about their companion. How has your companion helped you? Be prepared weekly with great questions. 1:03:38 To be a great leader is to be an exceptional follower. Links Transcript coming soon

    [Register Now] Single Saints Virtual Conference

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 15, 2021

    For more information about Single Saints Virtual Conference and to register for free go to https://leadingsaints.org/coreleaders/

    The Doctrine Related to Being Single or Married | An Interview with Michael Goodman

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 11, 2021 69:23

    Michael A. Goodman has worked for the Church Educational System since 1989 and was the manager of CES College Curriculum before joining the Brigham Young University Church History and Doctrine department in 2007. He was recently appointed as associate publications director for the Religious Studies Center. Michael holds a Bachelor's degree in Journalism with Public Relations, a Master's degree in Information Technology, and a PhD in Marriage, Family, and Human Development. He is a coinvestigator on the Family Foundations of Youth Development longitudinal research project, focused on adolescent and family faith development and mental health outcomes with a special emphasis on suicidality. Michael is married to Tiina Anita Goodman. Highlights 1:55 BYU Eternal Families course chair and online curriculum author. 4:10 How does BYU teach the doctrine of Eternal Families? Courses based on doctrine with some social science mixed in. Eternal principles and daily principles taught (money, sexuality etc) 5:50 We don't have to convince BYU students that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints values families, but they don't often know why. 8:30 D&C 131 and 132. The Degrees of Glory and importance of eternal families 10:40 The Family: A Proclamation to the World. Quotes document. 11:40 President Oaks Quote: “Our theology begins with Heavenly Parents. Our greatest aspiration is to be like them.” “The purpose of mortal like and the mission of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is to prepare the sons and daughters of God for their eternal destiny- to become like our Heavenly Parents.” 13:35 Divine Identity and Divine Destiny... as children of God. 15:45 Mother in Heaven: foundational doctrine. 16:35 When speaking to single adults after the foundation has been laid, what do you say next? …Well someday?!? NO! Acknowledge their pain and the issues they face. 17:45 Neil L. Anderson quote: “We will continue to teach the Lord's pattern for families, but now with millions of members and the diversity among those in the church we need to be more thoughtful and sensitive. Our church culture and vernacular are sometimes quite unique. The primary children are not going to stop singing “Families can be Together Forever” but when they sing “I'm so happy when Daddy comes home” or “With father and mother leading the way..” Not all children will be singing about their family.” 20:50 What do we need to know Now, to feel joy Now? 4 overarching principles: No one denied any promised blessing because of something outside of their control. YOU, are included in the plan of salvation, and because of that inclusion there is hope Heavenly Father will not abrogate agency. God loves us with a perfect love and will do anything in his power to exalt us. Through the grace of Christ, Heavenly Father can provide solutions to those things outside our control (24:51) 26:04 Quote President Kimball: “ We promise you that in as far as eternity is concerned, NO soul will be deprived of rich and high and eternal blessings for anything which they could not help. That the Lord never fails in his promises. Every righteous person will eventually receive ALL to which they are entitled and have not forfeited through an fault of their own.” 28:15 Stay covenant connected. 28:30 Quote President Nelson: Through no failing of their own “they” deal with the trails of life alone. May we all be reminded that in the Lord's own way and time no blessing will be withheld from his faithful saints. The Lords will judge and reward each individual according to their heartfelt desires as well as deeds.” 29:45 It's ok if you aren't the “ideal”family yet… Richard G. Scoot quote and discussion. 31:55 Live relationally now! Live Familialy. 33:10 None of us are broken, just in process. 33:55 Kurt- as a leader- “I won't deny callings based on marital status” Few callings have any sort of marital qualification.

    Putting the Church on the Shoulders of the Next Generation | How I Lead as Stake President | An Interview with Mark Ogletree

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 8, 2021 47:43

    Mark Ogletree is originally from Texas and joined the Church right after high school. He attended Brigham Young University, eventually finding his way back to BYU where he is now an associate professor in the department of Church History and Doctrine. Mark taught for 21 years in the Church Educational System where he was a seminary teacher and principal, institute instructor and director, and CES coordinator. He received his bachelor's degree in Human Resource Development from Brigham Young University; his master's degree in Mental Health Counseling and Educational Psychology from Northern Arizona University, and his Ph.D. in Family and Human Development from Utah State University. Mark owned and operated his own marriage and family therapy practice in McKinney, Texas, and has written several books and articles on marriage and family related topics, as well as Church history and doctrine. Mark and his wife, Janie, have eight children, 18 grandchildren, and reside in Provo, Utah. He currently serves as a stake president. Highlights 2:30 Mark's conversion story, finding the Church through friends in high school sports 4:15 Teachings of the Living Prophets and The Eternal Family at BYU, and his call as a stake president 5:15 How their service was different during the pandemic, holding month-long ward conferences and using the opportunity to get to know the members better 7:25 Sending members to work in the BYU wards 10:00 Breaking through cultural and traditional bands to get bishoprics and members to turn over responsibilities to Relief Society and elders quorum presidents Getting the members on board: emphasizing in meetings, talks, and individual visits with members, "beating the drum" of delegation in every setting Getting the bishoprics on board: help them embrace their role with the youth so they have something to focus on, and helping them learn to turn people away 18:20 The bishop's role in the repentance process and what can be delegated to counselors and later to other ward members 20:20 Bishops might struggle to connect with the youth, but they have talents and abilities that are magnified in their calling; be involved in planning and activities, meetings, activities, being with and connecting with the youth 23:35 Routine bishop youth discussions monthly, Aaronic Priesthood training, discussions in BYC meetings, supporting the youth individually in what they are doing Youth discussions: alternated locations, approaching topics that he would come up with through what was discussed in youth interviews Taught the youth to lead meetings and then let them be in charge The adage that "a parent should never do anything for their child that the child can do for themselves" applies to youth leadership You have to have participation to have conversion Experience teaching the young men to plan the year beyond playing basketball each week Helping them understand that they can do this now and don't have to wait until they are older to lead 33:50 Working with the high council and bringing in younger men to help them learn leadership principles The focus on making high council a revelatory experience Bringing in the best people they can, giving them responsibilities, and getting out of their way 37:30 Doctrines that leaders should understand in their roles: Any scriptures that teach about the Atonement and the restoration, doctrinal teachings that help motivate and inspire us to be committed, and teachings from General Conferences Looking to other loving leaders and representing the Savior to the people in your ward Taking General Conference seriously, taking notes, and approaching it together as a family; "Saturday is for the saints and Sunday is for the world" 44:10 His leadership has been formed by being surrounded by great leaders and learning by watching them lead and serve, and even by those who weren't as great Links Transcript coming soon

    The Research Behind Becoming Christlike | An Interview with Ryan Gottfredson

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 4, 2021 60:39

    Ryan Gottfredson, Ph.D. is a cutting-edge leadership development author, researcher, and consultant. He helps organizations vertically develop their leaders primarily through a focus on mindsets. He is also a leadership professor at the College of Business and Economics at California State University-Fullerton. He holds a Ph.D. in Organizational Behavior and Human Resources from Indiana University, and a B.A. from Brigham Young University. As a consultant, he works with organizations to develop their leaders and improve their culture. Ryan is the author of Success Mindsets: The Key to Unlocking Greater Success in Your Life, Work, & Leadership. He has written multiple articles for Leading Saints, presented at a live event about mindsets, and is a repeat podcast guest. As Ryan reviewed leadership research, he found it primarily answered one question: “What do leaders need to do to be effective?” The focus of his work has been on “What do leaders need to be to be effective?” In this podcast, Ryan and Kurt discuss the concept of vertical development and how it applies to individuals and leadership. Highlights 6:25 Vertical development is the next topic Ryan has been studying and writing about. It applies to us emotionally and spiritually, and possibly even physically. 7:40 Overview of mindsets: Mindsets are the mental lenses we wear that shape how we view the world 9:10 What vertical development is Three adult developmental stages that are a function of effort, both horizontally and vertically Elevating our ability to make meaning of our world in more cognitively and emotionally sophisticated ways 12:00 Examples of how people in different levels respond to constructive criticism 13:45 The three different levels Mind 1.0: Focused on our comfort, safety, and belonging. Self-protective. Dependent thinkers, exchanging power and independence for these needs. Mind 2.0: Focused on being seen, advanced, and getting ahead. Independent thinkers, in self-reward mode. Mind 3.0: Focused on contributing and adding value, externally focused on lifting and elevating others. Interdependent thinkers, able to see from different perspectives and sit with complexity. Only 1% of adults get to this place. 20:00 Becoming more like the Savior happens through vertical development Example of Mind 1.0 recommendation for seeking information Approaching teaching from the perspective of vertical vs. horizontal development 25:15 The tension between safety and truth Example of people protecting the safety of beliefs in a Sunday School lesson Being a seeker of truth and learning to sit with complexity instead of becoming defensive It is in the interpreting that we connect with God 31:05 Leaders operate differently depending on their vertical development Do we even allow for a conversation about interpretation? “Aspiring” fits into Mind 2.0 Mind 3.0 leaders are focused on creating a culture that is inclusive and allows for growth and development 37:25 The culture of aspiring to leadership 39:00 How do we go about developing vertically? What makes meaning for us are our mindsets Example of an inward vs. outward mindset and how it helps us become more like Jesus Christ Seeing others as doing their best: “What has happened to you?” vs. “What is wrong with you?” 46:20 Learning acceptance: Healing from our own traumas as we recognize Christ accepting us Vertical development involves calming our response so we have a greater tolerance The new “Sunday School answer”: get to where you can have 100% acceptance before doing anything 51:35 When we help people repent we help them change their hearts and how they make meaning with their world, not their behaviors and actions 55:00 Where to start 57:55 Our vertical development is about healing our minds and hearts Links Success Mindsets Rising Strong What Happened to You? The Body Keeps the Score The Bonds That Make Us Free

    How I Lead as Relief Society President | An Interview with Melanie Wellman Stroud

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 2, 2021 33:13

    Melanie Wellman Stroud hosts the popular podcast Come Follow Me for Us. She served in both the Kobe and Tokyo South missions and graduated with a degree in Special Education from Brigham Young University. She has served in numerous church callings including Relief Society president, Young Women president, stake Young Women president, Gospel Doctrine teacher, and her favorite: nursery leader. Melanie currently resides in Surprise, Arizona. Highlights 4:45 Melanie explains why her podcast is different from the other Come Follow Me podcasts. Her podcast is more about practical application, for the everyday person trying to apply the scriptures to their lives. 6:15 Advice and tips for studying Come Follow Me. 8:15 Melanie relates her experience getting called as the Relief Society President. 10:50 Melanie's first principle of leadership: The importance of delegation. It's not always easy to ask others for help but it's very important not to get burned out. 13:50 Second principle of leadership: Ditch the fluff. Focus on needs first. Forget the tablecloths or decorations. 15:30 Third principle of leadership: Use the materials that you are given. Stick to the manual. Look closely at the questions asked. People spend way too much time on things that aren't going to get you to heaven. 18:30 Tips on teaching a General Conference talk in Relief Society. 21:15 The fourth principle: Use the Book of Mormon as much as you can. When the Church began all they had was the Book of Mormon. They didn't have any fancy manuals. Don't let Come Follow Me take the place of the Book of Mormon in your studies. 27:45 Melanie gives her advice on how to connect with the youth. Bond through having fun together and through spiritual discussions. Links Come Follow Me for Us

    Part 2 – The Therapy Buffet: Helping Individuals Heal Through Therapy

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 31, 2021

    Steven Shields, ACMHC CET1, is a therapist who acts as a guide to help others heal from trauma and addiction. As founder of Unashamed Unafraid, a non-profit organization, he hosts the podcast that shares hope for sexual addiction recovery. Unashamed funds scholarships for people to go to retreats and receive therapy. Steve works in his private practice in Salt Lake City, at OnSite in Nashville Tennessee, and at the Oaks in San Diego California doing trauma intensives and workshops. His favorite event to speak at is the WarriorHeart Bootcamp every year. Steve is unofficially the biggest Leading Saints and "KF" fan! This is part 2 of a 2-part podcast discussion. Highlights 0:30 How do I interview someone every week who is in therapy and dealing with addiction? Check in to see if the therapy is working or not. 4:50 How bishops can communicate with therapists. Bishops should get a consent form to be able to get information from the therapist about how the therapy is going. 15:30 How do bishops find a good therapist? Steve describes the different types of therapists and specialities. 26:18 Don't refer a person to an agency. Refer them to a specific person. LDS Family Services is a great resource but it's an agency. 30:00 It can be difficult to find a good therapist. However, therapists like to work with people that like to do the work. Reach out to the therapist you want to go to and show them that you are willing and ready to do the work. It might be worth it to get on a waiting list for a really good therapist. 34:40 What do you do with people that don't want to do the work? The only thing you can do is invite. 36:55 Steve's recommendation to all bishops is to have the person pay for at least part of the sessions, even if it's only five dollars. 40:20 Two questions to ask your therapist. Make sure they are doing the work too and putting what they teach into practice. Do you currently go to therapy or have you been to therapy? What are you currently getting trained in? 41:30 Leaders are carrying the burdens and the huge weight of the ward. Bishops and other leaders should also be getting therapy. Steve challenges all bishops to find a good therapist and do at least three sessions. 43:20 How can a leader begin to understand the resources for intensive therapy? It can be very expensive but much more effective in some situations. 52:00 Steve explains value systems. A therapist should not try to change your value system and if they do you should pick a new one. Links UnashamedUnafraid.com WarriorHeart Bootcamp It's Not Your Job to Fix Pornography Addiction | An Interview with Todd Olson and Steve Shields 6 Things I Wish Bishops Knew About Addiction | Guest Post by Steven Shields (Recovering Addict) “The Atonement Works for Me”: One Couple's Recovery from Sexual Addiction

    Part 1 – The Therapy Buffet: Helping Individuals Heal Through Therapy

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 30, 2021

    Steven Shields, ACMHC CET1, is a therapist who acts as a guide to help others heal from trauma and addiction. As founder of Unashamed Unafraid, a non-profit organization, he hosts the podcast that shares hope for sexual addiction recovery. Unashamed funds scholarships for people to go to retreats and receive therapy. Steve works in his private practice in Salt Lake City, at OnSite in Nashville Tennessee, and at the Oaks in San Diego California doing trauma intensives and workshops. His favorite event to speak at is the WarriorHeart Bootcamp every year. Steve is unofficially the biggest Leading Saints and "KF" fan! This is part 1 of a 2-part podcast discussion. Highlights 5:30 Kurt and Steve begin the topic of therapy. 6:50 The truth about therapy. Jesus is the true healer. 7:55 Therapy then and now. How it has changed over time. 10:40 What is therapy for? To help you get unstuck when you don't think you can do it on your own. 13:00 Therapy can help you in your process of healing and using the atonement in your life. 15:00 Therapy offers a safe place to express whatever you need to. It can get messy emotionally when trying to talk to a leader or a loved one. Another plus is that they are professionally trained to help you. 18:45 Therapy helps you open the door to find healing. How would Christ heal you today? 20:45 Find a safe place to talk about whatever you need to talk about. 21:50 “What you can't see, you can't feel and what you can't feel, you can't heal.” 22:20 Christ is still healing today just as He did in His ministry. He lives! 23:00 Even though bishops aren't therapists they can still help you. Depending on the situation and bishop they can help you or help you get the counseling you need. 27:00 Therapy is about connecting to your internal source. It's not about a therapist telling you what to do in your life. We don't need advice. We come to it on our own. 32:00 The different types of therapy and what type is most effective. 36:15 Does Christ's healing take time? Links UnashamedUnafraid.com WarriorHeart Bootcamp It's Not Your Job to Fix Pornography Addiction | An Interview with Todd Olson and Steve Shields 6 Things I Wish Bishops Knew About Addiction | Guest Post by Steven Shields (Recovering Addict) “The Atonement Works for Me”: One Couple's Recovery from Sexual Addiction

    What Every Leader Should Consider About Community in Their Ward | An Interview with Ryan Gottfredson

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 25, 2021 56:36

    Ryan Gottfredson, Ph.D. is a cutting-edge leadership development author, researcher, and consultant. He helps organizations vertically develop their leaders primarily through a focus on mindsets. He is also a leadership professor at the College of Business and Economics at California State University-Fullerton. He holds a Ph.D. in Organizational Behavior and Human Resources from Indiana University, and a B.A. from Brigham Young University. As a consultant, he works with organizations to develop their leaders and improve their culture. Ryan is the author of Success Mindsets: The Key to Unlocking Greater Success in Your Life, Work, & Leadership. He has written multiple articles for Leading Saints, including a series of articles on community. Highlights 8:10 Where the community articles started 9:50 Many people attend church but they don't feel they fit, or don't attend “What community is and why is it important?” How do we create a community in the church so everyone feels welcome? 14:00 There are three community types: basic, involved and united. It is a continuum. 14:45 Basic community: little attachment, little involvement, much like an alumni group, few demands and little connection 15:45 Involved community: share more, some emotional connection but still disconnected but not fully accepted, much like a large workplace 17:30 United community: Share interests, goals and beliefs. Strong identification with group much like a family: when they hurt, we hurt. Provides acceptance, love and protection. This is what it should be within the church. 20:20 A united community is ingrained deep in the LDS culture and doctrinally founded, but with some negative side effects Low cognitive diversity. Can't think outside a box, inability to allow different perspectives. This is not doctrinal thought, but community thought. 25:30 Lack of inclusivity. Difficult to allow others in, many feel judged, hard to accept others. Often is unintentional judging over what is/is not socially acceptable (tattoos, piercing). 29:00 Lower psychological safety: When something is different, or comments in class get questioned, others are less likely to share. People feel uncomfortable expressing their opinions. 33:40 "Sometimes we have a stronger desire to be right, than we do to love others." 36:20 How do we improve the united community in the Church? We must be "intentional". 37:20 Six elements of an intentional community Charity Safety Openness Inclusiveness Being present Having a clear purpose and common cause 38:30 Charity: we must see everyone as people, and value them as such. 41:00 Safety: do our members feel safe and able to to comment in class? 43:25 Openness: we have a social pressure to certainty. If value is on knowing, we are limiting learning. We don't know all and we can learn from others 45:50 Inclusiveness: everyone should feel welcome. Don't let little things get in the way of loving them. Care less about how they look and more about how they feel. 47:40 Be Present: we are as involved as we can be, regardless, while we are there in attendance we should be present. Make our meetings matter, provide a value. Intentionally create meetings worth coming to. 50:45 Having Purpose: is everyone heading in the same direction? 53:00 Cliques are not necessarily bad. Smaller groups may allow more connections with others. Perhaps smaller groups can strengthen the whole community. 56:40 Most important to understand what community is and why it is important. Be mindful. Links RyanGottfredson.com Articles about community in the Church: The Foundation of Belonging Flaws We Need to Recognize and Overcome Becoming an Intentional Community Moving Forward in a Changing Social Landscape Success Mindsets: Your Keys to Unlocking Greater Success in Life , Work, and Leadership The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict,

    Speak Up, Sister! Helping Women Be Heard

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 23, 2021 54:20

    Jamee Adams and Jody Steurer are sisters. A little over a year ago they began their podcast, Speak Up Sister, striving to strengthen men and women to speak up clearly and effectively at home, work, church, and in their communities. Jamee Adams holds a Master's in Public Policy from Tel Aviv University, Israel. She is a small business owner specializing in business systems development, and currently serves in a Primary presidency. Jody Steurer has a Bachelor's in Psychology from Brigham Young University and is a certified life coach. She currently serves in a young women presidency. In this podcast, Kurt, Jody, and Jamee discuss the dynamic in councils and meetings between men and women, finding not only equality in numbers of men and women attending the meetings but also helping women feel heard and giving them more opportunities to speak up. Highlights 4:45 Discussion of women being outnumbered in church meetings. It's not so much about numbers but women feeling confident in speaking up and also being invited by the men to speak up. It's time that women are given more of a role. 12:40 The cultural dynamic in our faith is based on the patriarchal system. Men having the keys and the power of the priesthood has also been taken to also mean that they have more authority and voice over the women. However, this is completely not true. Women might not hold the keys of the priesthood but they do have equal access to the priesthood power to serve in their callings. 14:20 A shift must be made to be more collective of both men and women. 14:45 There are certain assumptions in the church that the stake president or man with the highest authority makes the final decision. We need to let go of those old assumptions and shift to follow the pattern of the Twelve Apostles and the First Presidency to discuss and all agree before making a decision. 18:30 Both men and women come into a meeting with the assumption that because women don't hold the priesthood their opinion doesn't weigh as much as a man's does. 19:00 There are also assumptions that we should all communicate the same way and if someone doesn't then their opinion is discounted. Women are often discounted for having strong personalities or for being direct when men are applauded for such traits. 22:00 Generally speaking, women can be more sensitive and take a lot of time explaining and storytelling. Men prefer to get to the point and get straight to the facts. Both men and women need to work on different skill sets of communication. Men can improve on their sensitivity and women can work on clearer communication. 34:20 The goal is not a majority rule. The goal of our councils is unanimity. Everyone should have a voice in ward councils. 40:00 Jody and Jamee coach women on how they can speak up more effectively. 45:00 Jody and Jamee coach the Bishopric walking into ward council. The bishop needs to advocate and validate everyone in the room. 47:35 Dealing with disagreements. Find ways not to alienate that person and automatically shut the person down when there is a disagreement. Leaders should strive to have a great connection and relationship with the women leaders to create unity even when there are disagreements. Links SpeakUpSister.net Instagram @speakupsisterpodcast Facebook page Unleashed: The Unapologetic Leader's Guide to Empowering Everyone Around You, by Frances X. Frei How Connection Can Improve Your Ward's Mental Health | An Interview with Geoff Steurer Read the TRANSCRIPT of this podcast

    Speak Up, Sister! Helping Women Be Heard

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 21, 2021 54:20

    Jamee Adams and Jody Steurer are sisters. A little over a year ago they began their podcast, Speak Up Sister, striving to strengthen men and women to speak up clearly and effectively at home, work, church, and in their communities. Jamee Adams holds a Master's in Public Policy from Tel Aviv University, Israel. She is a small business owner specializing in business systems development, and currently serves in a Primary presidency. Jody Steurer has a Bachelor's in Psychology from Brigham Young University and is a certified life coach. She currently serves in a young women presidency. In this podcast, Kurt, Jody, and Jamee discuss the dynamic in councils and meetings between men and women, finding not only equality in numbers of men and women attending the meetings but also helping women feel heard and giving them more opportunities to speak up. Highlights 4:45 Discussion of women being outnumbered in church meetings. It's not so much about numbers but women feeling confident in speaking up and also being invited by the men to speak up. It's time that women are given more of a role. 12:40 The cultural dynamic in our faith is based on the patriarchal system. Men having the keys and the power of the priesthood has also been taken to also mean that they have more authority and voice over the women. However, this is completely not true. Women might not hold the keys of the priesthood but they do have equal access to the priesthood power to serve in their callings. 14:20 A shift must be made to be more collective of both men and women. 14:45 There are certain assumptions in the church that the stake president or man with the highest authority makes the final decision. We need to let go of those old assumptions and shift to follow the pattern of the Twelve Apostles and the First Presidency to discuss and all agree before making a decision. 18:30 Both men and women come into a meeting with the assumption that because women don't hold the priesthood their opinion doesn't weigh as much as a man's does. 19:00 There are also assumptions that we should all communicate the same way and if someone doesn't then their opinion is discounted. Women are often discounted for having strong personalities or for being direct when men are applauded for such traits. 22:00 Generally speaking, women can be more sensitive and take a lot of time explaining and storytelling. Men prefer to get to the point and get straight to the facts. Both men and women need to work on different skill sets of communication. Men can improve on their sensitivity and women can work on clearer communication. 34:20 The goal is not a majority rule. The goal of our councils is unanimity. Everyone should have a voice in ward councils. 40:00 Jody and Jamee coach women on how they can speak up more effectively. 45:00 Jody and Jamee coach the Bishopric walking into ward council. The bishop needs to advocate and validate everyone in the room. 47:35 Dealing with disagreements. Find ways not to alienate that person and automatically shut the person down when there is a disagreement. Leaders should strive to have a great connection and relationship with the women leaders to create unity even when there are disagreements. Links SpeakUpSister.net Instagram @speakupsisterpodcast Facebook page Unleashed: The Unapologetic Leader's Guide to Empowering Everyone Around You, by Frances X. Frei How Connection Can Improve Your Ward's Mental Health | An Interview with Geoff Steurer Read the TRANSCRIPT of this podcast

    How I Lead as a Bishop in Luxembourg | An Interview with Lewis Howarth

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 19, 2021

    Lewis Howarth was born and raised in the small European country of Luxembourg. His native language is English but he is also fluent in French and German. He studied at Brigham Young University before transferring to Penn State to receive a Bachelor of Arts in Business Administration. Other than working as an MTC teacher for French-speaking missionaries in Provo, Lewis has worked in the technology space for his entire career, most recently working with a Gold Partner of SAP, Qualtrics, and Amazon Web Services. He leads a team across Europe, the Middle East, and Africa, supporting the AWS Marketplace. Lewis served a mission in Berlin, Germany, and has served as a Sunday School and elders quorum teacher, ward executive secretary and president, Young Men president, Institute teacher, on the stake high council, and most recently as a bishop. Highlights 10:45 Lewis describes what being a member of the church in Luxembourg is like. 12:30 Lewis describes his experience being called as a bishop and the revelation he received in the temple. 15:30 Demographics of Lewis' ward in Luxembourg. There are 19 different languages spoken and a very diverse group of people from all over the world. It's a difficult situation to have to translate for many different languages in every single meeting they have. Despite the complex situation they face, the Luxembourg Ward has grown tremendously in the last few years. 20:55 Lewis explains how ministering works in his ward with so many different languages and cultures. They don't always speak the same language but show up for each other with love. 25:00 Principle 1 - The importance of setting up a structure. In many places of the world the Church is not established like it is in Utah. There are no roots and many people don't know what they are doing yet. However, it's important to establish the correct organizations, programs, and activities. 33:30 Principle 2 - Different seasons for different focuses and goals. Understanding the needs of today is very important. Each year is going to be different and there will be different challenges. God will prepare you for that next season. 40:20 Principle 3 - Don't get in the way. It's important as a leader to learn when you need to step in and when you need to step back. Let other leaders run their organizations. Let them make mistakes and learn. Check in with your organizational leaders in Ward Counsel or monthly one on ones. This gives them a chance to talk about the problems, their struggles and also hold leaders accountable. 55:20 Lewis describes how his time as a leader has helped him become a better follower of Jesus Christ. Links TRANSCRIPT coming soon

    Leadership & the Church News | An Interview with Sarah Jane Weaver

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 14, 2021 42:26

    Sarah Jane Weaver is the editor of the Church News and also hosts the Church News Podcast. Her favorite assignments include reporting on temple dedications and writing about members around the world. Sarah graduated from BYU with a degree in journalism and history and served as editor and chief of the BYU student newspaper, the Daily Universe. Before joining the Deseret News staff, she completed a Pulliam Fellowship at the Arizona Republic in Phoenix, Arizona. Sarah currently serves as Relief Society president in her ward. Highlights 2:20 What is the Church News? How is it different from typical journalism? Sarah explains how the Church News is there to help connect church leaders to members. She describes the Church News as the living record of the restoration. 9:55 The Church News is there to amplify the words of the First Presidency, the Quorum of the Twelve, and women church leaders. Their goal is to get the words of the leaders out to more people and help members understand the church better. 10:30 Sarah talks about a series of the Church News called, "Inside Church Headquarters". The purpose of the series is to take readers inside the Church and show them how decisions are made. 12:00 Sarah's journey to becoming editor of the Church News. She majored in Journalism at Brigham Young University and has been a reporter and editor at the Church News for 26 years now. 15:20 Sarah shares experiences of traveling the world and being able to cover President Nelson's world ministry and the speeches of many of the apostles and other leaders. 16:50 The Church News is a vehicle to help members learn in ways that they can understand. The Church News is able to give us leadership perspectives outside of the General Conference setting. We are able to get their thoughts on world events and the recent COVID-19 pandemic. 22:20 Sarah has also been a Relief Society president for the past two years. She describes her experience of calling counselors and accepting her calling. 25:05 Sarah's principles of leadership: The most successes are possible because of the love and support of other people. It's ok to be vulnerable. Great Leadership is built on a foundation of leaders that came before us. Be yourself. Ministering matters a lot. I do all that I can so that the Lord can make up the difference. 35:45 Sarah's two favorite questions. “What is it that we are trying to accomplish?” Follow up question, “What is the best way to do that?” These two questions can help us meet the needs of the sisters in the ward and plan meaningful activities. 40:00 President Nelson is always inviting us to do things. There is power in invitations that can bless and strengthen all of us as leaders. What invitations can we give to others? Links Church News Church News Podcast

    How I Lead as Primary President | An Interview with Barb Venema

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 11, 2021 38:38

    Barb Venema has always worked with kids, coaching gymnastics, teaching Physical Education, and serving in Sunday School, Young Women, and Primary. Most recently she has served in the Primary as an instructor, chorister, and president. Her patriarchal blessing even mentions her time in the Primary. Recently retired, Barb lives in Kearns, Utah, and has five children and 20 adorable grandkids—of which she is most proud. Highlights 3:00 Barb's experience being called to be a Primary President. She has been in the Primary 12 years straight. 5:30 Principles of working in the Primary 6:45 Principle 1 -"He knows your name so know their name." Know the names of each child in your Primary. We need to follow Heavenly Father's model of knowing everyone's name. Barb gives the example of Joseph Smith. Can you imagine how Joseph felt when God came down from heaven and called him by name? Each time that God came down and talked to His prophets He began by saying their name. Pray for your Primary kids by name everyday. 10:20 Principle 2 - See the children through the Savior's eyes. 10:58 Principle 3 - Be flexible. The gospel is the same but the church and programs are constantly changing. Let go of ward culture and traditions. Let go of what you did in the past. We have to change with the times. 17:30 Advice to the Primary teachers: We need to help our children be strong now so that they can also be strong teenagers. We don't want to lose our teenagers or young adults. We need strong teachers. 18:45 Principle 4- Accept Change. It's hard to accept change but we need to throw away the old manuals and move forward with the new programs and manuals that are given to us. 20:35 Principle 5 - Have a sense of humor. Let the kids know that they are completely loved and accepted. Let them be themselves. Give them moments of pure joy. 23:50 Primary program tips and tricks Let the teachers step back and have the kids take charge of the program. Use their talks throughout the year for the program. Let them share their experiences. Make a copy of their talks and write their name on it. In this way the program gets developed throughout the year. The Primary program is not a production. It's the kids sharing what they have learned and their testimonies. You don't need a Saturday practice. Don't take away from family or Primary time. 27:15 Principle 6 - Handbooks vs. Facebook. Don't ask the people on Facebook what they do. Look at your handbook. Go directly to the source. Although many other people have great ideas, there are many things that are not necessary or are old traditions. 31:40 Relationship between Primary presidency and members of the bishopric 36:00 Final thoughts Links He Knows You by Name by Sister Elaine Dalton TRANSCRIPT coming soon

    Women Leaders in Church History | An Interview with Jennifer Reeder

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 7, 2021 70:35

    Jenny Reeder is a historian and writer, currently the nineteenth-century women's history specialist at the Church History Department in the publications division, and was one of the first historians hired to specialize in women's history. She holds a PhD in American history from George Mason University, specializing in women's history, religious history, memory, and material culture. She also holds degrees from Brigham Young University, Arizona State University, and New York University. She served a mission in Italy, and has served three times as a ward Relief Society president, including when she was in graduate school and fighting leukemia. Jenny has collaborated on several books about Latter-day Saint women's history and is the author of First: The Life and Faith of Emma Smith. Highlights 2:50 Writing her book about Emma Smith. Her goal was to write about her as a pillar of the Restoration and a significant founder of the Church with Joseph, and to make her a real woman and show how complicated her life was, her commitment, and her heartbreak. 5:20 So many members of the Church have been influenced to believe she was a fallen person because she did not come west with the other pioneers, but she retained her testimony and hers is a story of redemption. 7:45 Jenny's experience with cancer while serving as a Relief Society president during her time in graduate school at George Mason Participating in ward council from her hospital bed Visiting with less-active people and learning to receive service Sending emails and physical cards to people as she was prompted Finding her purpose outside of "not dying" 15:15 Serving is an opportunity to learn, serve, and receive revelation in way you haven't before, and this can be a blessing in a difficult time. 19:00 The goals of RS were to provide relief and save souls. She found relief for herself as she provided relief to others, and came to understand the Atonement on a deeper level. 21:00 Developing relationships that continue: maintaining relationships from her old ward has been powerful for everyone as they have rallied together to support each other through difficult times. 23:00 The Church was never really organized until the Relief Society was organized. Having women involved is significant and they have Priesthood authority in their stewardship. The most beneficial experience is when they are recognized for that leadership and allowed to do what they can. 27:00 Emma's instructions in Doctrine and Covenants Section 25 Emma struggled with her role to teach and had to learn how to lead In Nauvoo Relief Society, you had to apply for membership. It was a step toward being able to participate in temple ordinances. Emma's role in creating the hymnbook, and being the first woman to receive her endowment She was called to be a support for Joseph: significance of the words "comfort" and "office", and of leaving her family to go with him and to stay with him 36:50 The Relief Society was told to create offices to expand what they needed 39:00 Speaking up to have your voice heard: It was not normal for women to speak publicly in the 19th century, and even now women can be unaccustomed to speaking and leading Eliza R. Snow was asked to assist bishops and to instruct the sisters, but she was not accustomed to speaking out, but she learned how to do this and taught others how Relief Society was shut down and Eliza became the de facto Relief Society president before she was called by John Taylor, which was also after the death of Emma 46:30 President Nelson has called for women to speak up and speak out Speaking up in discussions as well as in councils Relief Society was previously more discussion-oriented, and then moved more to a lesson/lecture format. The move back to discussion with Come Follow Me works better to involve more people. 52:15 There was a deep commitment to Relief Society that we don't seem to have today

    Having Difficult Conversations with Youth | A How I Lead Interview with Keith Wonnacott

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 4, 2021 49:32

    Keith Wonnacott is a former bishop, currently serving as Stake Young Men's president as a member of his stake High Council. Highlights 3:00 How Brother Wonnacott came to have difficult conversations with his sons and learned how to help parents have difficult conversations with their kids. LDS Handbook Section “Parents have the primary responsibility for teaching their children the gospel of Jesus Christ. They help their children grow spiritually and prepare to make and keep sacred covenants. Parents also counsel with their children regarding worthiness and help them repent and improve. Bishops and other church leaders support parents in these efforts.” 6:35 The bishop is a resource for parents to help facilitate difficult conversations. The interview questions for missionaries has been published and parents can view these questions ahead of time to help their child prepare for the interview. 9:45 Role play during a 5th Sunday lesson to parents helps them to prepare and see an example of how to approach difficult subjects with their child. 12:45 Realizing that Plan A doesn't exist, and Play B is about being and imperfect human being who needs repentance and the Atonement. 15:15 Sample conversation with your child. Brother Wonnacott gives many great questions to ask your child. 19:45 The child will “spotlight” and test the adult to see how trustworthy they are. They are testing the waters to see how you will react. 24:50 Dealing with feelings of failure as a parent when you find out information about your child. 27:40 How to craft a plan to help your child. 31:40 Shifting in your parenting as your child gets older and how to support them as they grow. 35:10 Inviting the parents to have planned conversations with their children. 39:00 Questions from the live audience on Facebook Links TRANSCRIPT coming soon

    Mother in Heaven at Church | An Interview with Scott Layton

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 31, 2021 62:33

    Scott Layton is a native of West Valley City, Utah and served in the Philippines Angeles Mission. He received a master's degree in religious education from Brigham Young University and is currently employed by Seminaries and Institutes in the Salt Lake area. He has served in various church positions including Young Men president, scoutmaster, high councilor, bishopric counselor, and was recently released as bishop. Scott and his wife, Kali, are the parents of seven children, six boys and one girl. In this podcast, Scott talks about what he learned while preparing a presentation on the doctrine of our Heavenly Mother and compiling resources for seminary teachers, and how as leaders we can do better at including Heavenly Mother in our dialogue. Highlights 05:05 His research started with “Mother in Heaven” in the Gospel Topics Essays. 06:20 When do we refer to Heavenly Father versus Heavenly Parents? 07:25 Our theology, everything we believe, everything we are as latter-day saints begins with this foundation of heavenly parents: Dallin H. Oaks said, “Our theology begins with heavenly parents, and our highest aspiration is to attain the fulness of eternal exaltation” (“No Other Gods,” General Conference, October 1993). 08:15 Why don't we talk about Mother in Heaven? Kathryn H. Shirts sorts reasons based on “human conventions” versus “divine reality” (“Women in the Image of the Son: Being Female and Being Like Christ,” 1991 Women's Conference). Weigh human conventions against the reality of a divine goddess who possesses all power, all attributes, all perfections, and then question what's mere strong tradition. 11:25 General authorities in general conference peaked at 9 references to Mother in Heaven in the 1970s, yet references to both Mother in Heaven and Heavenly Parents skyrocket to 67 in the 2010s. We must apply what we know about Heavenly Father to understand Heavenly Mother's powers, capabilities, and perfections because they are equal. 13:35 The doctrine of Heavenly Mother is distinct to the Restored Gospel of Christ and not included in modern Protestant Christianity. 14:14 B. H. Roberts points out that our doctrine distinctly ennobles women, motherhood, and wifehood by “placing [Mother in Heaven] side by side with the Divine Father” (Defense of the Faith and the Saints, Salt Lake City: Deseret News, 1912). 15:03 The doctrine that if faithful, we can gain all that the Father has creates a misnomer that a woman's eternal identity and purpose is to become like a man. The doctrine of Heavenly Parents is fundamental to all we believe. 17:13 That all humans, male and female, are beloved spirit children of Heavenly Parents is rooted in scripture. For example, Genesis teaches we are made in the image of God, and the Hebrew word for God is plural. The book of Moses teaches there was a spiritual creation before the physical creation: he sees this as the Father and Mother working together for the spiritual creation while the Father and Son work together to make it a physical reality. 19:35 What are the distinctions between roles and purposes in the Godhead and between mortal roles for men and women? While our knowledge is limited, we've been shown a divine pattern. Harold B. Lee taught that our Heavenly Father and Mother are “even more concerned, probably probably, than our earthly father and mother, and that influences from beyond are constantly working to try to help us when we do all we can” (“The Influence and Responsibility of Women,” Relief Society Magazine, Feb. 1964). 23:00 What's the division of roles and responsibilities? Can our Heavenly Mother comfort us? Or is comforting only a role of the Holy Ghost? We don't fully understand the mechanics of her influence but should treasure our sacred relationship with her in our own heart. However, we only pray to Heavenly Father. This doesn't devalue her: we can have a relationship with her just as we have with Jesus Christ.

    Understanding Priesthood Keys in Leadership | An Interview with Mark Mathews

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 28, 2021 61:05

    This is a rebroadcast. The episode originally ran in September 2018.  Mark Mathews was born in Houston, TX. He served a mission in Guatemala and met his wife at Brigham Young University. He later earned a Ph.D. in education from Utah State University. He has been teaching for the Church Educational System for 17 years and has taught in Brigham City, Utah Valley, and at BYU. Highlights Temples 5:27: Will include the word “temple” in his class titles moving forward. 6:14: There are many things that happen in the temple that can and should be discussed. 7:24: To understand the temple, the best source is the Doctrine and Covenants as the Lord reveals and restores knowledge regarding the purpose and power of temples. Priesthood Keys (8:42) 9:21: Understanding priesthood keys 9:36: What is the priesthood, and what are priesthood keys? 10:37: Keys give the right to be the president, to direct, control, and preside over the priesthood and the work of the priesthood in the church within a jurisdiction 11:20: Different keys were gradually restored over time and as needed. Aaronic Priesthood keys, John the Baptist: authority to baptize Melchizedek Priesthood keys; “The Keys of the Kingdom”; Peter, James, and John: authority to preside over, organize, and lead the church Keys of the Gathering of Israel, Moses: “gathering” begins with missionary work, and culminates in gathering disciples to the temple Keys of Abraham's Dispensation, Elias (27:25): celestial marriage Sealing Power, Elijah 14:47: Quorum presidents 17:24: Before being taught anything regarding priesthood keys, Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdery are taught in Doctrine and Covenants 18, “remember, the worth of souls is great in the sight of God” and the importance of bringing those souls unto Christ. Each quorum president, adult, and youth, must understand the worth of the soul, and the charge to help bring those souls unto Christ. 22:36: Keys helps members know whom to follow. When members hear contradictory messages, follow the keys. 24:00: While we have many general authorities, we have only fifteen individuals who hold all of the keys, and we sustain them as “prophets, seers, and revelators”. 25:11: Delegation. Seventies do not hold keys but are acting using keys delegated to them by key holders. The same principle applies to counselors to keyholders. Sealing Power 26:22: Seals all ordinances performed for both the living and the dead. 32:43: The importance of proper record keeping: Joseph Smith taught that as ordinances are recorded on earth, they are recorded in Heaven. “All things are spiritual.” 34:28: On sealing cancellations. “When you are sealed in celestial marriage, you aren't just sealed to your partner. . . you are being sealed up to Eternal Life. . . When a marriage is dissolved, you don't want to cancel that sealing until they are ready to renew it again with someone else. Even if they don't want to be with their partner, they still have been sealed up to certain blessings that they don't want to loose/unseal.” (not ‘lose'--important distinction). God is perfectly just and perfectly merciful. He will not force somebody to spend eternity with somebody against their will. 39:22: What happens to the sealing of the children of divorced parents? All your losses will be restored to you; see Doctrine and Covenants 130:2. 45:54: We should seek to better understand the doctrines behind sealing and God's love The New and Everlasting Covenant 46:28: The sum of all ordinances and covenants, not simply eternal marriage. 49:17: This is the same covenant that was given to Abraham. It is the fulness of the gospel. It helps us understand what the Restoration is. It is the Plan of Salvation. 54:15: These ordinances are connecting to become exalted and become like our Heavenly Parents. How has being a leader made you a better follower of Jesus Christ?

    When Church is a Burden | An Interview with Andrea Lystrup

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 24, 2021 54:36

    Andrea Lystrup is a licensed marriage and family therapist and owns a private practice—Andrea Lystrup Therapy—in Tucson, Arizona. She received her master's degree from the University of Maryland in Couple and Family Therapy. She specializes in couples' therapy, particularly working with sexual issues, betrayal trauma, and mixed faith marriages. She serves as the stake sister support specialist for the Tucson stake, providing training to stake leaders on issues like abuse prevention and recognition of mental health struggles, as well as to advocate for sisters who need support addressing abuse in their own life. She also serves as the Young Women second counselor in her ward. She is mom to three boys under age five and supports her husband in his career as a doctor in the Air Force.  Highlights 2:30 In Andrea's practice she meets many people who report they are feeling “spiritually worn-out”. This may happen because of mental health challenges, life struggles, a faith crisis or something else. Often they feel like they aren't getting the same answers to prayer as others, and they wonder if there's something wrong with themselves or everyone else. 5:25 Andrea has watched people who have left the church and those who are struggling with returning after Covid and describe how challenging it is to want to go back. Church can be like a wrestling match when managing young children. It is easier to watch from home when we don't need to worry about how our children may be affecting those around them. 8:55 Depression or anxiety may affect your ability to feel the spirit or share a testimony. Something you hear another share at church as a great spiritual experience or healing you have not received can be triggering and difficult to process, which can make it difficult to engage with church or members. This is one way you might feel spiritually worn out. 13:45 Sharing vulnerabilities may be one way to help members who are struggling with this type of spiritual exhaustion feel like they have a place to share and belong. We often share these vulnerabilities after they are resolved, but we don't share struggles in real time while they are happening. This real time sharing can take more courage and ultimately may be more helpful to yourself and others as you are able to connect with others who are struggling. 17:05 Covid has exacerbated these feelings in some members, because depression and anxiety are fueled by loneliness and isolation. We should look out for the likely in our congregations to make them more welcoming places. Do less offering off a talk that will solve a problem and more inviting someone to lunch or to hang out. Remember they are “person(s) to be loved”. 19:10 People who are spiritually worn out often express feelings of being unlike others or punished by God. Others in a faith crisis may decide if the gospel equation is working for everyone else and not them, the problem is either with them or the system, and many reject the system all together and leave. Instruction like don't rehearse your doubts with other doubters can discourage these individuals who are already feeling like they don't believe our think the same as others from reaching out when they struggle. 24:20 One way to think of how spiritually worn our members engage is with a trauma model: fight, flight, or freeze. A freeze mentality might look like someone who attends church for years and years but not fully participating, reading scriptures, magnifying a calling, etc. There may be afraid of making things worse and so they just don't engage. Some who “fly” leave, often suddenly. There are some fighters who may post on social media and leave in a blaze of angry posts and others may still engage and try to fix things from the inside by making edgy out challenging comments in meetings. 29:00 It is important to understand how people are raised. Some have a “don't throw the baby out with the bath water” mentality and others are more ...

    Once I Was a Leader | How I Lead with Maclain Nelson and Ken Craig

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 22, 2021 72:49

    Maclain Nelson is the director, writer, and producer of Once I Was Engaged, the sequel to the film Once I Was a Beehive (which he also wrote, produced, and directed.) He is also known for The Saratov Approach and BYU TV's Show Offs, as well as many other films produced in Utah. Maclain earned a bachelor's degree in Theatre Arts Studies from Brigham Young University and is married to Clare Niederpruem. Ken Craig plays a bishop in the film, a reprisal of his previous role in Once I Was a Beehive, as well as his actual church calling as a bishop. Ken grew up in Southern California and Hawaii then served a mission for the Church in Lisbon, Portugal. He graduated from Brigham Young University with a bachelor's degree in Advertising, but his favorite thing about college was being part of The Garrens, BYU's first-ever sketch comedy, an improvisation troupe. This is also where he met his wife Katie, and that's where they fell in love. Ken currently works in the Philanthropies department of the Church. He and Katie are the parents of eight children. Once I Was Engaged movie Faith, Fatherhood, and Food, by Ken Craig Sharing Time podcast Highlights and transcript coming soon

    Being a Single Adult Does Not Mean You’re Broken | An Interview with Morgan Jones

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 17, 2021 55:15

    Morgan Jones is the host of the All In podcast for LDS Living. She previously wrote for the Deseret News, where she published more than 480 stories and served as senior web producer. She is a passionate storyteller and loves having the opportunity to share stories that deserve to be told. Her new book, All In: Exploring What it Means to be All In the Gospel of Jesus Christ, shares what she has learned from nearly three years of hosting the All In podcast. She has served as a ward Relief Society president, a counselor in a stake Relief Society presidency, Primary chorister, and is currently a Relief Society teacher. Highlights 2:40 Beginnings of Morgan becoming a podcaster: While working at Deseret News, discussions came up with Hal Boyd and hearing so much about why people leave the LDS Church; Bro. Boyd's thought was to do a podcast about why people choose to stay. HB went on to say that the decision for people who choose to stay is “just as thoughtful and deliberate” and needed to be talked about. Bro. Boyd's belief in Sis. Jones and her experience interviewing led to her being tapped for the role of host of a podcast when she later went to Deseret Book. 5:30 Evolution of the podcast “All In” discussion of content and the name; appreciation of the fact that reflecting on what it means to be “All In” the gospel of Jesus Christ lends itself to reflection and genuine feelings; also would help prevent pompous, self-righteous explanations. It would cause people to think. Also the benefit of having a consistent question that elicits thoughtful responses. 7:30 Guests-Kurt observes that Morgan has had some well known people on the program; while those can be wonderful episodes, the diversity of members can provide some amazing insights from unexpected, even obscure members of the church in far flung areas that really resonate. The benefit of talking to the everyday person; everyone has a story. 8:15 Things MJ has learned while interviewing and how to connect: Find common ground, establish a connection with that person (where are you from? Common acquaintances) Everybody wants to be heard-to listen to them, help them to feel important and be genuinely interested Beware of distractions; sometimes we may be thinking of our next question to ask or otherwise lose focus; listening to listen and not with the intention of forming a reply is very helpful. People then feel cared about and in a safe place. Cultivating a connection is an art MJ quotes her grandfather, a fan of Dale Carnegie. DC wrote that the most beautiful word in any language is the person's own name; MJ experience with interviewing Thurl Bailey and how he repeatedly said her name-that got her attention. 11:00 Discussion of ministerial interviews and the pitfalls that can be faced. While the purpose of the interview is to ask “how are your families?” this can prevent an opportunity to allow the person you're interviewing to share information about themselves; (we default to an administrative level of communication) 11:30 Ministering interviews vs. visiting teaching or home teaching interviews; Ministering provides us with an opportunity to also check on the person we're talking to just as much as the families the person is assigned. 12:00 The beauty of the good question-in the case of the podcasts, having a well-chosen question can lead to having the Spirit. In the case of ministering interviews, a good question can leave people feeling that spirit and coming away with a positive vibe. 13:15 Importance of being prepared and being present. MJ quotes D&C 38:30 “If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear.” She testifies that the Lord will bless us if we have prepared to the best of our ability. He will make up the difference. The Spirit cannot call things to your remembrance if they were never there in the first place. 13:45 New project the book: “em>All In: Exploring What it Means to be All In to the gospel of Jesus Christ

    Stepping Up to Leadership Opportunities | An Interview with Jeff Burningham

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 10, 2021 73:36

    Jeff Burningham is an entrepreneur, founder & chairman of Peak Ventures and Peak Capital Partners, an apartment investment and venture capital firm. He holds an MBA from Brigham Young University, where he started his first tech company, is an active philanthropist, and ran for governor of Utah as an "innovative outsider" in 2020. He also has a podcast called Extraordinary Us. Jeff was called as a young bishop at age 27. He and his wife Sally live in Provo, Utah. Highlights 3:05 – Introduction: recently ran for Governor of Utah; background is entrepreneurship, started several Utah companies, funded many startup companies. Run for Governor was an “interesting ride”. Came to the race as a newcomer with no background in politics. He remembers Elder Ballard's talk about “good men should stand up” and felt compelled that they should do it. Discusses first debate in St. George. 7:30 – Advice for anyone who might be interested in public service. If no one will step up who isn't a seasoned politician, what is the point? Friends supported, but also some friends were “not there” and not supportive at all. Be willing to step out and step up. Be proactive, not reactive. 11:50 – Utah is in a massive growth, economy is so strong. He tried to bring fresh perspective to political arena, as a businessman. With growth in the area, we need good people to step up to serve and help lead the state. 17:10 – First business cleaning carpets and then first tech company while undergraduate at BYU. Entrepreneurship is an accelerated path to learning. He wanted to keep learning and found that it was the path for him. Fall down and fail, and then get up and learn. We all fail but learn from mistakes. 19:30 – Money is not the “root” of all evil if it is done right and providing jobs for families. 20:10 – Shares story of being called as bishop at 27 in a very unique way. 12:15 – Advice for a new bishop: Remember the burdens are not yours; direct members to the Savior. You can be a “repentance coach”, turning them to the Savior to pray and helping to change their hearts and allowing the atonement to work. It is all about the youth, focus on the youth. Have the counselors work with other members so you can focus on the youth. Listen Don't pretend to be an expert on something you are not. Everything good and bad that you can imagine is happening in your ward. Don't pretend to be an expert. Step up and point them to the Savior. Be prayerful for and with members Find your “go to” readings that you can read together, you can share. 31:43 – During time as bishop, he rarely experienced feeling the “wrath” of God even when dealing with abuse, but he felt love and mercy of God and the Savior. It is not about punishment. 37:05 – Leadership is extra-special stewardship, so your thoughts, your prejudices, etc. don't become the recipe for a successful ward. The handbook doesn't cover ministering, love, stewardship, but it covers organization. You are not given a “checklist” for ministering. All leaders and callings are in the same boat; we should not be divided. 41:35 – Atonement is fascinating. Served a mission in Charlotte, North Carolina, and challenged on Bible every day. Had a desire to go to Jerusalem after mission and studied four months there. Had opportunity to study the Atonement in those sacred locations. The Atonement is about healing our hearts, allowing the Savior to make our hearts more like His. We are saved by the grace of God, and we should embrace the word grace more in our culture. 47:05 – “Bootstrap” mentality: just pull yourself up and go for it. Because of this mentality, we can certainly use it in the workplace, but we cannot “bootstrap” ourselves to Heaven. We cannot do it without God. We are not meant to do it alone. 49:45 – Relationships vs. results. We often have expectations from people, ourselves, our God that WE place and when they are not met, we stop praying, treat others poorly,

    How I Lead as Relief Society President | An Interview with Brigette Heller

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 7, 2021 37:59

    Brigette Heller was born in Alaska and raised all over the Western United States. She is a life coach and speaker, and is determined to share life-changing mindset techniques using radical motivation to women in her Strong and Capable community. Brigette and her sister also own Deco-Crate Event Design, an event planning business. She has served in a variety of church leadership positions, including as a young Relief Society president. Brigette and her husband Mike are the parents of three children and live in Phoenix, Arizona. Highlights 3:00 Her calling as a young Relief Society president in a large, established ward 5:30 A comment from a luncheon and her choice to be dedicated and supportive anyway 7:10 Authenticity in loving and supportive people is what matters Alma 31:5 Try the virtue of the word of God instead of treats and handouts Let people know when you are struggling Delegate to others 10:25 Let go of more to have more 14:00 Successful leaders need empathy 18:45 Lawn example: sitting with someone instead of instructing them 20:20 Communication It has to be done in every way possible, and determine what works best for your people Communication is consideration Commit to living by your system 25:30 Paint the vision Finding the inspiration to bring hope of what could be Ask the Lord what vision He wants you to paint 27:20 Created a "journey journal" that tied in with lessons and activities 30:15 A lot of people have not been taught how to seek personal revelation through General conference Finding beauty in the journey 33:50 About her life coaching community and podcast 35:00 When you want to be a good leader and step into that role, you are letting go Links The Strong and Capable podcast The Strong and Capable website TRANSCRIPT coming soon

    A Life of Leadership | An Interview with Brent Top

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 3, 2021 84:04

    Brent L. Top is a professor of Church History & Doctrine at Brigham Young University, but will be retiring in July after 45 years as a religious educator within the Church Educational System, the last 34 years at BYU. He served for several years as Dean of Religious Education, and prior to that as department chair and associate dean. He is the author of more than 20 books, primarily directed to the Latter-day Saint audience, and scores of articles and book chapters in both academic and church venues. Brent has served in many capacities within the Church, including as bishop, counselor in a stake presidency, president of the Illinois Peoria Mission, and president of the Pleasant Grove Utah East Stake. He currently he serves as a sealer in the Mount Timpanogos Temple and as a Gospel Doctrine Sunday School teacher in his ward. Brent is married to his high school sweetheart, the former Wendy Cope from Idaho Falls, Idaho, and they have four children, 24 grandchildren, and one great-grandchild. In this podcast, Kurt and Brent discuss leadership within the context of callings such as Bishoprics, Stake Presidencies and Mission Presidencies. They relate the experiences of these callings to other leadership opportunities and discuss how to better prepare missionaries, serve in leadership capacities, and relate those experiences to living the gospel. Highlights 8:05 Leadership Experiences: 10:09 “As Leaders we need to remember who's kingdom it is.” Serving is often overwhelming. “I had to remember it's not about MY plans.” Sometimes what I thought wasn't what was needed. I often heard the Lord tell me “These are my missionaries; this is my church I will not let you fail.” 14:37 I have had feelings about callings, names etc. and I pushed those away. They were uncomfortable. I found that often those times were the Lord preparing me. Tells story of being called to Stake President and needed to find his counselors within 15 minutes. The Lord had been preparing him to call those counselors by bringing people to his mind previously. 16:49 No matter how the call is received (by shock or with inspiration that it was coming) the Lord is giving us life experiences, insights, thoughts so that we don't come into his kingdom to serve totally unprepared. Expectations when called as a Bishop? 17:41 Two things I learned: No matter if you're 30 or 60 when the keys are conferred upon you, you are changed. Things change. I began focused organizationally. The Lord wanted me to focus individually. He wanted me to Love. Stake President vs Mission President Stake Presidents are “therapists” to many bishops. They have nowhere else to turn. As a Stake President I had a lot of people to support me in my calling. There were many who served well and lightened my load. As a Mission President I was literally in charge of making sure my 150-200 missionaries stayed alive! I was responsible for them at all times. That can feel overwhelming. Mission Presidents see non-stop action. Mission Presidents don't have the supporting roles Stake Presidents do. It often feels lonely. ADVICE for leading: *The key in one-on-one leadership 22:57 I was often overwhelmed when I thought of all the moving pieces. Things are more manageable one on one. The church and therefore the kingdom of God is really no bigger than an individual or a family. The more complex the leadership the less effective: The more I focused on administration, the more I micromanaged. The more I did that, the less I represented the Lord. As a mission president my time with each individual was so small. I knew the time I did get really had to matter. Interviews really had to be used to connect to the individual, they needed to feel loved. Meeting had to have meaning. They needed to provide a way for individuals to connect with one another. 29:00 BEST PRACTICES for INTERVIEW (esp. EQ/RS Presidents) Your calling is a calling of Love.

    Leading with Your God-Given Talents | An Interview with Dustin Peterson

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 30, 2021 60:16

    This is a rebroadcast. The episode originally ran in December 2018.  Dustin Peterson was raised in Dallas, Texas, and served a mission in the Puerto Rico San Juan Mission. He graduated from BYU-Idaho in Communications where he met his beautiful wife and fellow Texan, Samye Martino, and later completed a Master's degree in Educational Leadership at Indiana University. Dustin has trained and coached executives and leaders at a variety of organizations. He is currently the founder and CEO of Proof Leadership Group, a career coach, and the author of Talented: Discovering and Using Your God-given Talents to Find More Joy in Life and RESET: How to Get Paid and Love What You Do. Dustin lives in Houston with his wife and four kids and serves as the branch president of a Spanish unit in the Friendswood Texas Stake. He has previously served in a stake presidency, on a high council, and as an early morning seminary teacher. He loves bacon, Dallas sports teams, and is a believer that everyone has a God-given superpower! In this podcast, Dustin talks about why we often believe we don't have talents, and how to identify and put our talents to work to bless those we lead and serve. Highlights 8:00 Calling to the Stake Presidency 10:10 Talents: People believe they don't have them and don't know how to identify them; helping people identify their talents is a tremendous gift 11:35 Identifying talents first allows us to magnify them 12:20 Talents are superpowers. They are powerful skills that make you unique. 14:30 Men are that they might have joy (2 Nephi 2:25) 15:10 Parable of the talents (Matthew 25:14-30) Every person has talents (verse 15) You can gain more talents (verse 15) Talents lead to joy (verse 21) When we are afraid, we tend to hide our talents (verse 25) Everyone that uses their talents gets more (verse 29) Those who bury them have them taken away (verse 29) 16:30 Elders Quorum discussion of talents vs. 6th-grade class discussion of talents 19:45 The Broken Paradigm: What's the problem with identifying our talents? Our mindsets Deficit perspective: we identify our weaknesses (22:30) Scarcity belief: a few people have talents and the rest are left behind (25:30) Humility complex: we overvalue humility when it comes to talent and talk ourselves out of our own talents 28:00 The secret is to be grateful. 29:00 How do we identify our talents? Definition: Things you do naturally, consistently well. Think energy. Skills are transferable and can be taught; talents are innate, energizing, and can be developed; a sign of talent is that it is instinctual 33:50 Talents energize and makes us feel good; we can become highly skilled at a weakness 34:20 What moments in my calling do I feel energized in? 36:00 God knows our talents and if we use our talents to serve, we will get where we need to be 36:30 Diversify your perspective on talents; talents come in three varieties, but we only give respect to “doing” talents Doing: arranging, organizing, developing, communicating, writing Thinking: connecting, influencing, positivity, relating, empathy Feeling: ideating, inputting information, learning, analyzing 41:30 What do you do when you don't have a talent in a certain area? God expects us to develop all of these talents 42:15 Examples of talents that are easy to identify, and talents that are more difficult to notice Easy: being a good athlete, gardening, singing, dancing, playing a musical instrument, drawing, painting, sculpting, cooking, baking, writing, public speaking, teaching, acting, composing songs, sewing, storytelling, repairing things, photography, bow hunting Less easy to notice: having empathy, being a peacemaker, being positive and energetic, communicating effectively, being a good listener, having self-control/discipline, being able to make decisions, setting goals, getting tasks accomplished, giving service,

    Why Your Ward Should Wander | An Interview with Dan Duckworth

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 26, 2021 60:15

    Dan Duckworth is a master changemaker and founder of The Crucible Life, a global community for changemakers who are learning to master the hidden forces that shape leadership, communities, and change. He's the host of The Purpose Workshop and author of Stop Asking Why, a little book that answers life's biggest question in a surprising way. Dan is serves on the board of directors and is a frequent content contributor to Leading Saints. Highlights 2:30 About Dan's Changemakers community 4:15 Going from resisting the topic of purpose to embracing it: everyone is searching for meaning in their life The leadership gurus' search for the holy purpose statement Our true purpose is to wander and learn to make meaning in every situation we find ourselves in your psyche does not hold your purpose; instead you have to get outside of yourself and go create your purpose 11:45 The message we hear at church is "you are special" and it is interpreted as meaning we must each find our own special mission Girls camp experience: these girls live in their psyches, trying to figure out who they are and what everything means The Lego Movie example: all the talented people out there want to be The Special When we tell ourselves it isn't true, then we don't have to feel the pain of not being special 16:15 People in his program have spent their lives searching for their purpose and are now recognizing that instead their purpose is to search for meaning by fulfilling the life they want to live, creating fulfillment 17:20 This is where God/history/fate has placed me and my job is to embrace that and learn how to be who I want to be in this situation 18:35 "Not all who wander are lost."—J.R.R. Tolkien 20:30 Being commanded in all things vs. being instructed in the principles 23:40 Having a vision is different than having vision: "If God reveals the future, it's because it's a future he wants to see changed." 26:10 The first action principle of wandering: Ask the basic question, "How do I live the life I mean to live in every situation?" Leaning into discomfort: Example of talking with his son's basketball coach and the recognition that followed The question is not "What is the meaning of my life?" The Harry Potter Moment: waiting for your assignment from God and failing to live a life of purpose until God gives you your assignment 35:40 Aristotle: If you want to know the purpose of something, you just have to look at the nature of it. You don't have to ask its creator. The one thing that God can't create is what I am here to create Example of his wife's calling as Primary president and the desire to hold a party the first week back to church "It's time for you to start doing your calling because God called you to do it." 39:50 The transformational leadership concept in this: When you are living the meaningful life you mean to live, others are drawn to you and your influence 41:15 If God would just tell us what to do, we would do it, but instead He is asking us to think and act with intention Find something good to do and go do it, and God will assist as you go Example of Nephi going back for the plates Doctrine and Covenants 128:9 The bold doctrine that when we act with agency, we create revelation 45:40 At first Joseph Smith was dictating revelation directly and that was needed at the time, but later the details became less important than the process of living the way the Saints were instructed to live 48:45 Purpose-driven organizations are actually led by purpose-driven leaders How do you invite the community to wander with you? Start living with purpose and the community will come with you 51:25 Why didn't God just dictate everything? Because He is not going to violate the purpose which is for us to figure out the details God's plan is to keep the state of probation open for each of us as long as makes sense so that we can try and fail, and slowly become more like Him in the wandering

    How I Lead as Seminary Council President | An Interview with Rachel Wagner

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 24, 2021 36:36

    Rachel Wagner has served as the Beehive class president, Mia Maid 2nd counselor, stake youth council representative, and seminary council president. She enjoys composing uplifting music, baking and decorating cakes, dancing, playing soccer, and being with friends and family. Rachel is also excited to continue to help others come unto Christ by serving in the Benin Cotonou mission this fall. Highlights 2:50 About Seminary council and her calling as president 5:30 Getting started in this leadership position and learning to listen to each other's ideas 6:30 Leading the weekly council meeting, preparing committee leaders, and arranging a spiritual thought and prayer by members who had not participated recently 8:35 Planning with a schedule and being prayerful about making changes as needed Leadership Principles 1. Feast upon the words of Christ and say two kneeling prayers every day (9:45) Example of her busy schedule and learning to put God first in her life; decided to read her scriptures first as soon as she got home from school Saying two kneeling prayers creates a stronger relationship with Christ and makes it easier to turn to Him and seek personal revelation Encouraged this with the entire council Making time for the Lord shows the effort God appreciates 2. Love and accept everyone for who they are (14:00) Christ never turned anyone away; they focused on loving every student at the high school Anonymous answers to questions at a retreat helped her realize we have no idea what people are going through "Heart attack" for people who are experiencing a trial or need some extra love Doing the simple things: looking people in the eye, calling them by name Assume that everyone is going through something hard; reach out to everyone because we can all use some love 3. You get out what you put in (18:00) It can be easier to fall back and not contribute as much The Lord loves effort 19:45 At first it was more difficult when they didn't know each other but as people found their places and were patient with each other things fell into place 4. Be open to all ideas (21:10) Personal revelation is distributed among everyone involved Experiences choosing a scripture to focus on as a group Importance of listening to the Spirit 24:40 Activities they did: Focus on "love, share, invite" Daily prayer meeting with all students Also invited students of different faiths to participate Sought to make their prayers more conclusive 27:25 The ministering wheel of love with service ideas for each week WWJD bracelets 29:35 Changes in assemblies and devotionals because of Covid restrictions Friday forums: a speaker each month over Zoom because they had school from home on Fridays Devotional with teachers rotating through the classes 32:45 Being patient with yourself: we are all learning together 34:30 Whenever we serve others and lead we are Christ's hands and can serve others as He did Links TRANSCRIPT coming soon

    Why Recovering Addicts Make Great Bishops | An Interview with Mike Houghtaling

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 21, 2021 60:35

    Mike Houghtaling was raised in Bellevue, Washington, and Raleigh, North Carolina, and served in the Argentina Cordoba mission. Since entering recovery, he has served as a bishop's counselor, a high councilor, and is currently serving as the bishop of the Fayetteville Georgia YSA Ward. He worked for the Federal Aviation Administration for 37 years, most of those as an air traffic controller, retiring in 2019. Mike and his wife Andrea have five children and seven grandchildren. Highlights 5:10 About Mike's ward and his personal family history 10:30 Discovered pornography at age 10 and immediately fell into addiction and shame 12:30 Sought help from his bishop but the guidance didn't help 15:15 Considered his mission a failure and returned home believing himself the worst of people 17:30 The misunderstanding that marriage and sex would eliminate the problem 19:10 "Porn has no more to do with sex than alcohol has to do with thirst" 20:45 Misunderstanding the difference between sobriety and the healing of recovery, never addressing the shame and wounding 23:00 Hitting rock bottom and finally realizing that he could not hide anymore 26:30 The hopeless concept that everyone protected by the Atonement was under a big umbrella, but he was not under that umbrella 28:30 A tiny thread of hope touched his heart and he began to take the 12 steps seriously and began seeking recovery and healing, not simply sobriety 31:10 Recognition that his wife needed attention for her wounds 33:00 You have to pick up every tool along the way because they can all be helpful 34:00 One helpful tool: Face it, replace it, connect; the power of connection 35:50 Called as a bishop's counselor 36:30 Explanation of PASG: Pornography Addiction Support Group and the spouse support group 41:15 Telling his story to his YSA ward to show that he is relatable and unafraid of their struggles 44:45 Advice for bishops: invite those struggling with addiction to go to an ARP meeting, go with them, study and seek to understand 47:00 "You are not beyond His help, you are not beyond His reach." 49:00 Advice for stake presidents: take a chance on different candidates for positions of leadership in the Church 50:50 Metaphor of a quilt with one inky square in the shadows 53:00 Still working steps 10, 11, and 12, the maintenance steps 54:30 Advice for those in the circle of a recovering addict: love them, show grace for and connect with them, and continue to point them towards the Savior 56:30 Supporting the addict's family members: connect, encourage, listen, point them toward therapy 58:45 Learning to be a true follower and finding healing in understanding the Savior is what has helped him to be a better leader Links Warrior Heart retreat Heart of a Woman retreat Is Elders Quorum Working? Wild at Heart in Church Leadership | An Interview with Doug Nielsen Heart of a Woman in Relief Society Church resources

    How I Lead as Bishop | An Interview with Jordan Romans

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 16, 2021 42:35

    Jordan Romans served in the Australia Brisbane mission and graduated from BYU with a BA in English. He holds an MBA in Marketing from the University of Phoenix and is the founder and managing director of JLR Creative & Consulting, with 15+ years in sales, marketing, training, and management roles in the medical and aesthetic sales industry. He is currently serving as a bishop in the Beaver Creek Ward in Apex, North Carolina, right by the Raleigh Temple. His previous church callings include bishopric counselor, elders quorum president, Young Men president, ward mission leader, executive assistant, Primary Worker, and Gospel Doctrine instructor. Jordan is married to Melissa Romans and they have four children. Highlights 5:10 Remembering his first Sunday as bishop and the recognition that what he said could be taken as "the gospel truth" by those he counseled 8:45 Advice from his dad: You're not going to solve anybody's problems. The Savior will do that. Principles of Leadership 1. The Lord's forgiveness is essentially immediate (10:00) 12:00 If we can believe it, then the repentance process is easier, more effective, and longer-lasting; Forgiveness is freely offered and we must bring the sincerity 14:20 Christ is not interested in punishment, but in progression 2. Leaders should do more to build bridges outside the ward community (14:50) Minister friend at a local Methodist Church 16:25 Youth cookie bake service project with the youth from both congregations 18:00 Podcast discussion about the rededication of the Raleigh Temple 19:25 People in the South are open and willing to invite others to church 22:50 The stake's annual Community Leaders Luncheon for civic and community leaders 3. Callings are Rarely about Efficiency or Proficiency (27:50) We just have to be willing to serve 31:25 As a bishop, his dad once called a Sunday School teacher who was not a member; "The Lord wasn't interested in his proficiency. He was interested in Brother Barnes." 33:35 Prompting to call a sister as Young Womens president who wasn't baptized yet 39:25 Going down the list and looking for the least-likely candidate 41:15 Recognizing how involved Christ is in the bishop's service; recognizing that others can lead while you lead Links Views From the Peak: Jordan Romans TRANSCRIPT coming soon

    Teaching Youth About the Grace of Jesus Christ | An Interview with Mitchell Taylor

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 12, 2021 61:50

    Mitchell's first book, Perfect in Christ: The Good News of God's Grace, was published when he was seventeen years old. Mitchell graduated high school in 2021 and has been accepted to attend BYU-Idaho in the fall. He plans to serve a full time mission at the start of 2022. Mitchell has been homeschooled since the third grade but played soccer on the Rigby High School team. During his senior soccer season, he served as the team captain and was voted first team all-conference. Mitchell works as an entrepreneur and one of his businesses was featured on Shark Tank this year. Highlights 3:13 Mitchell Taylor is 18 years old and lives in Rigby, Idaho. 5:10 He was taught by his father about the grace of Jesus Christ. What he heard at church seemed to be different. The Spirit kept prompting him to write a book about Christ's grace, which he eventually did over two years. 6:50 His father taught him of the parable of the Pit of Sin. If you look up, Christ is reaching down as the only one who can take you out. Justification makes you perfect in Christ. Christ then takes us to the ladder of sanctification. He is always right beside us, holding our hand, as we repent and desire to become more like God. He encourages us to keep trying, even when we fall down a few rungs. This simple parable helps people understand. 9:48 What's your elevator pitch on grace? In 30 seconds, teach justification and sanctification. 10:40 In 2 Nephi 25:23, there are two ways you could interpret being saved by grace “after all we can do.” Through a lens of grace, we see that we are saved even after all we do, a perspective Elder Uchtdorf has shared. 12:20 All works and ordinances only have meaning and power when they are connected to Christ. We shouldn't trust in ourselves but rather strengthen our trust in Christ. 15:50 He experienced pain from his flat feet. He finally got inserts perfectly fit to his flat feet that helped alleviate all his pain. This is like getting youth and young adults to Jesus and to understand his mercy and grace. Once they understand that, they will develop a desire to do what they should. All our spiritual practices are appendages to the Atonement of Jesus Christ and his grace. We model gospel behaviors in our home, but how do we model grace? We can model grace in our relationships. 22:00 It's not our job to get those under our stewardship to practice the gospel or serve. You can, however, offer them grace. 23:30 Showing people grace or unconditional love is not giving them license to sin. Many are confident they want to go to the celestial kingdom but are uncertain if they will make it there. The need for perfection discourages them. Sometimes we bury grace in a culture of legalism that overemphasizes works. 26:30 The medical school analogy teaches that work is required but it doesn't save you. It's like assuming that if someone offered to pay for all of your expenses for medical school, that somehow you wouldn't feel obligated in turn to work hard and give your best service to others in order to show gratitude for the gift. True understanding of grace is the best motivator. 29:40 His yoke is easy and his burden light. Jesus died so we could become perfect in Christ now and become perfect like him later. Works can help us become like him through sanctification. 32:10 Legalistic culture emphasizes the law, works, merit, reward, and earning. Rather, when we see the law as an instruction manual for how to become like Christ, we keep the law not to show how amazing we are but rather to emulate a characteristic of Christ. 36:35 Jesus is with us the entire time. He will never leave us or forsake us. It's good to strive for perfection, but know that now we can only become perfect in Jesus. 38:30 Building a relationship with Jesus Christ. In Matthew 6, the woman comes to anoint Christ with oil from an alabaster box. His apostles reprimand her and point out the expensive oil could have been sold to give money to th...

    How I Lead as Elders Quorum President | An Interview with Brad Brockbank

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 9, 2021 27:43

    Brad Brockbank was born and raised in Lehi, Utah and served a mission in Salvador, Brazil. He attended the University of Utah, graduated with a BA in History, and has worked for Zions Bank in various positions for 18 years. Brad has served in the Church as a Sunday School teacher, in the nursery and Primary, as executive secretary, in elders quorum as a counselor, secretary, and president, and was recently called to be a counselor in his ward's bishopric. Brad and his wife Julie have been married for 19 years, live in Star, Idaho, and have four children. Highlights 4:30 Transitioning into the role of elders quorum president and learning to rely on the Spirit Principles of Leadership: Listen to Minister 5:20 Checking things off the lists can get in the way of listening We can Hear Him through others as we engage and listen Stagnant Water Loses its Purity 7:10 Involving others to continue to progress Don't Inhale 9:00 Elder Faust's advice to recognize that great things happen because of God, not because of what we have done Priesthood Keys are Real and Meant to be Used 11:15 Leaving a blessing or promise with those you lead 14:30 Being open and vulnerable as a quorum Creating a culture of sharing and celebrating success over addiction with the quorum Sharing redemption will strengthen others 21:30 Listening and building trust will help with understanding Building relationships creates opportunities for support in many areas 25:20 Leading has helped him learn to rely on Jesus Christ and how much the Lord loves each individual Links TRANSCRIPT coming soon

    Helping Addicts Share Their Story | An Interview with Jessica Butterfield & Kelly Thompson

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 5, 2021 60:44

    Jessica Butterfield and Kelly Thompson are two delightful, committed, intelligent Latter-day Saints who grew up in Utah. Both Jessica and Kelly are also recovering addicts with a compelling story that needs to be heard—a story of struggle, redemption, and a fervent desire to help the addicted and their families, friends, and church leaders. Kelly has authored the book Between Monsters and Mercy and has been a facilitator for the Church's Addiction Recovery Program. Together they have begun a new podcast, "The Hope Addiction", as an extension of a podcast Jessica previously initiated. Highlights 04:15: Kelly's story: Turned to drugs as a teen to deal with physical ailments. Her siblings were on the BYU/temple marriage path. Time on the streets doing whatever it took (e.g., prostitution) to support her addiction. Testimony struggles in a less-active family. God became a punching bag and later her best friend during her time in a deep abyss. D&C 121 took on added meaning. Has been sober 4 ½ years, following 28 years of addiction. Sister missionaries showed up miraculously at a critical time. Began to realize that she was not inherently all the bad labels she had taken upon herself. Wants other to know the Savior can change lives and hearts. Gratitude for other recovering addicts whose stories inspired her to change. 10:48: Jessica's story: Raised in a small Utah town in an LDS home. Family became inactive when she was 12. Introduced to drugs/alcohol at 12. Had anxiety and depression she was not aware of. Addicted to heroin at 16. Addicted for four years. Hated the person she had become. At 20, went through heroin withdrawal. Did not wish to believe in the “Mormon God.” Attended an LDS 12-step meeting and experienced grace, hope and a priesthood blessing that changed her life. What could it hurt to try a different approach to life? Faith grew. Sealed in temple 3 years shy of being clean. Experienced a transformation through the Atonement. Has not relapsed since that change ten years ago. 15:45: What leads people to try drugs? Alcohol originally offered relief and seemed like a solution to anxiety/depression/trauma/family dysfunction/family history of addiction. Substance abuse worked fast and came with fun partying. Seeking out associates with similar adulterated values. Wired for anxiety? Drugs provided an escape “needed” to cope. God's love supplanted the need for harmful substances. 21:40: Rationalizing the foray into drugs? Escape 23:20: Common misconceptions about the disease. Where does choice end and addiction/disease begin? Lying and manipulation comes with the territory. Abuse affects the brain and takes over the survival instincts. If you are on fire you jump into a water to save yourself. Addicted people begin viewing drugs as a survival tool. Addicts are not bad people who need to be good; they are sick people who want to be better. As an addict your behavior affects others adversely. Mental health issues require compassion. 27:30: What can a church leader or family member do when someone is in the middle of their addiction? No easy answers. Allow someone to suffer the consequences of their choices--landing in jail isn't always a bad thing. Addicts need to be humbled. Pray for addicted loved ones to hit bottom and confess to being an addict so they can turn to the real source of strength. Heavenly Father knows our hearts and can provide healing circumstances. Be willing to plant seeds that can help an addict even if you don't see immediate results. When Jessica was ready to change, she remembered the good people in the church who had been very kind (e.g., non-judgmental home teachers, sister missionaries, etc.) 33:40: What about relapse? It is a one-day-at-a-time deal. Need Christ. Don't become overly confident. 36:45: Pushing the addictive experiences into the background vs being open about prior struggles. What about involving recovering addicts to help wards?

    Join us Saturday! Leading Saints Live with Louie Hamner | June 5

    Play Episode Listen Later May 31, 2021 16:03

    Join us Saturday, June 5 as we learn from Louie Hamner. Listen to the recent interview with Louie Hamner Register and see details Or visit LeadingSaints.org/Hamner Also, check out the WitnessesFilm.com

    Ministering to Individuals Who Lose a Child | An Interview with Julie Cluff

    Play Episode Listen Later May 29, 2021 69:35

    Julie Cluff is a full-time entrepreneur, Build a Life After Loss podcaster, hope giver, life coach, grief recovery specialist, and artist—but not always in that order. She’s a wife to a wonderful husband who brings the fun. She is currently serving in a stake primary presidency, and has served as young womens president, Relief Society counselor, primary counselor and stake public affairs director. Julie is the mother to six beautiful children including two angels and a spectacularly young and vibrant grandma. She shares her story of the loss and grief of her two youngest children in a car accident on Mother’s Day and her transformation to bring hope to others who are grieving. She believes powerfully in the human spirit and the ability for all to rise from the ashes and create beauty. Highlights 3:55 - Julie’s Background Felt compelled to support others who experience loss and grief after significant personal losses: brother died by suicide, divorce, and two children died in an automobile accident 5:20 - Recounting automobile accident Our lives were changed forever We have had things we have had to overcome because of the accident Healing from our Savior is available 10:20 - How she processed and moved forward post-loss It is a long process and not an overnight experience Painful experiences and discomfort led to healing (the weight and heaviness of the darkness began lifting) Healing happened when the timing was right for her to appreciate what the Savior did for her Everyone’s healing doesn’t come in the same way or instantaneously She was given a unique and miraculous experience so that she could testify of healing and where it comes from Ultimate healing comes from the Savior 15:45 - The difference between grieving and healing Grief is the path to healing, it is part of the solution not the problem Grief is the pain we experience that tells us we have experienced an emotional injury and we need to take care of it 19:05 - The process of grief and healing Emotional pain is painful for those around us, we want everyone to be okay Trust the process of grief and healing and do not rush it 21:15 - Getting trapped in the grief cycle Going online to find support can contribute to getting stuck in our grief and pain Richard G. Scott - It is crucial that we be active participants in our healing Most of us know very little about grief and the process or effort required to heal We grieve and then we pile on shame and guilt as we don’t know what to do As a leader, the challenge is to honour their grief path and the pain they’re experiencing 25:55 - We’re not responsible for someone’s healing but we can be there to support Support looks like accepting the pain Sympathy = more pain Empathy = that must be so hard Instead of telling the person what they need, ask them how you can support them in their healing process 27:50 - Show up and answer their questions Our presence says I love you and I care about you No need to fear saying the wrong thing, we don’t have to have the right words 35:10 - Avoid overreacting to their emotions and concerns Everyone’s reaction to grief is unique and different and we should not judge or dictate their healing Whey they ask questions, that’s when we get to answer their questions rather than asserting information 41:05 - Don’t be overwhelmed trying to say the right thing The overwhelm comes from thinking that somehow we can make it better or that there is the perfect thing to say (and there isn’t) Just show up and it will become more comfortable the more willing you are to sit with the discomfort 46:10 - Set up a support structure Coordinator efforts to address both the emotional needs and the physical needs 50:45 - Being sensitive to the ongoing impact of grief The emergency situation vs. the ongoing impact of grief and loss The ongoing impact is where the spiritual support is most needed

    Learning to Lead SSA Saints | An Interview with Brent & Bruce Ebmeyer

    Play Episode Listen Later May 26, 2021 38:09

    Brent Ebmeyer has been a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints his whole life and served a mission in Argentina. He and his wife Courtney married in 2004 and have five children. A year after they were sealed in the temple, Brent shared that he experiences same-sex attraction. It took them to the brink of separation, but through consistent communication, compassion, and love they have been able to find hope in their future together. Bruce Ebmeyer is Brent's brother. He has been married to his high school sweetheart, Carolyn, for 30 years and they have eight children. Born and raised in the church, he has served in various callings including full-time missionary, stake high counselor, stake Young Mens president, bishop, and is currently a stake president. He owns and operates a transportation company, and likes to work and travel. Highlights 3:55 Brent's experience sharing his same-sex attraction with his wife Thought it meant he would be leaving the Church Experience finding the North Star community 5:55 Bruce's experience finding out about Brent's SSA 7:45 How Brent got to the point of coming out to his wife and later to his family Realization that his wife was willing to go through this with him 12:45 Bruce's experience after finding out His wife got closer to Bruce's wife as she needed more support Realized he was wrong and it was not a choice Opened his heart to understanding as he interacted with people at the North Star conference 19:00 Brent's testimony of the gospel and the cognitive dissonance of also acknowledging his SSA Realizing the "why" of this experience is to help others Turning a struggle into a blessing by sharing with others 24:20 Bruce's recognition that sharing with others is vital to helping leaders serve church members experiencing SSA 28:40 What kept Brent in the Church was the power of his testimony that he could fall back on 30:45 We don't know why we have these trials, but we can work together to get through them 31:30 The experience at the North Star conference Leadership sessions available online this year and are still free for church leaders Gaining knowledge is gaining power and losing fear Links northstarlds.org

    Relationships Before Progress | A Conversation with Tom Christofferson, President David Checketts, and Bishop Bruce Larson

    Play Episode Listen Later May 26, 2021 57:02

    This is a rebroadcast. The episode originally ran in March 2018. Tom Christofferson is a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who experiences same sex attraction. He is also the brother of Elder D. Todd Christofferson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. Tom grew up in the Church as a member, served a mission and married in the temple. His short marriage ended and he came out as gay and lived that lifestyle for many years. He started coming back to church with Bruce Larson as a bishop and David Checketts as his stake president. His story is told in his book, That We May Be One: A Gay Mormon’s Perspective on Faith and Family, and he has more recently published A Better Heart: The Impact of Christ’s Pure Love. Tom has spent his career in investment management and asset servicing, living in the United States and Europe. He was a founding board member of Encircle, a group providing resources to support LGBTQ individuals and their families in Provo, Utah. Tom is an active member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and serves as a Gospel Doctrine teacher in his Salt Lake City Ward. As leaders we can learn a lot from his experience of coming back to church and being rebaptized. President David Checketts (far left) and the Christofferson brothers Episode Highlights 6:30 Tom's story from the beginning 9:30 His story of excommunication 10:50 How his family wanted their love to be perfect as they accepted him 13:20 Bishop Bruce Larson's side of the story 16:00 Stake President David Checkett's side of the story 18:00 Bishop Larson and President Checketts did not know at first that he was related to Elder Christofferson 20:30 Sharing with the ward council how to make feel Tom welcome 22:30 Response of the ward council 24:00 Tom was welcomed and loved unconditionally 29:00 Tom attended the ward for 5 years before wanting to come back to live the commandments 31:45 During the 5 years how Tom felt welcome in the ward 33:20 Everyone focused on the the relationship with Tom and not his progress 34:30 Study sessions with Tom and President Checketts 38:00 Meeting with Tom's partner 42:00 President Checketts meets with Elder Christofferson about Tom 45:00 Tom Christofferson's rebaptism 48:00 How this experience has helped Bishop Larson to be a better disciple of Jesus Christ 50:00 How this experience has helped President Checketts to be a better disciple of Jesus Christ Links That We May Be One: A Gay Mormon’s Perspective on Faith and Family A Better Heart: The Impact of Christ’s Pure Love Read the TRANSCRIPT for this episode

    Uncovering Hidden Abuse | An Interview with Kimberly Day

    Play Episode Listen Later May 22, 2021 62:44

    Kimberly Day graduated from BYU with a Bachelors in Psychology, served a mission to Temple Square in Salt Lake City, and then went back to school to earn a Masters Degree from Washington State University in Counseling Psychology, where she also taught seminary and then Institute. She worked in higher education and later at a financial planning firm, but eventually felt the call to come back to her love for counseling and working with people through life’s challenges. Kimberly's focus is working with individuals suffering from betrayal trauma or other types of complex relationship traumas, and she is trained in the Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists' Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model (M-PTM). She lives in Olympia, Washington with her husband and four kids. Highlights 5:30 Kim's experience counseling around and studying abuse and healthy/unhealthy patterns of behavior 8:00 The word "abuse" 9:30 Catching negative patterns and recognizing their impact 10:30 Three ways to define abuse: the impact on the victim, the actual interaction in a relationship, or the intent Can be damaging even without intent Gaslighting 15:30 A shift in power and control in the relationship 18:30 Honoring the impact of what the victim is experiencing even when the intent is not to abuse 24:20 The subtle messages that perpetuate trauma, create isolation, and threaten her safety 25:50 The myth that the spouse needs to step up to meet his needs 27:50 When there is an intent for power and control 29:00 Men are receiving an education in dehumanizing women and it becomes a belief about how the world works Book of Mormon example of the conflict between Laman & Lemuel and Nephi: abusive behaviors from a sense of entitlement to power and control, perpetuated across generations A trick Satan has been using for a long time The spectrum of unrighteous dominion This model of power and control applies across a range of relationships and situations 39:00 Reprogramming of the brain Teach them to be aligned to God and if they are tuned-in, He will correct them 45:50 Recognize that the learning remains and continues to cause problems in relationships 50:00 The lens of impact on women Women don't recognize the impact and don't use/accept the word abuse in these dynamics Most couples don't have the language to address it Setting boundaries can lead to retaliation 56:50 Next steps to learn more Abuse is seldom apparent to other men Know your local resources (outside the Church) 59:20 Be willing to be open and address puzzling situations without needing to have answers Links Life Changing Services Church Handbook section about abuse (28.6.2) Why Does He Do That?, by Lundy Bancroft What Every Bishop Needs to Understand About Betrayal Trauma Have We Forgotten the Betrayed When the Sinner Confesses? 6 Things I Wish Bishops Knew About Addiction | Guest Post by Steven Shields (Recovering Addict) Supporting Victims of Sexual Assault | An Interview with the Staff of The Refuge Recognizing Abuse in a Relationship Read the TRANSCRIPT of this podcast. Note: This transcript was machine-produced. We would be grateful for help correcting errors. You can help! Simply copy/paste the transcript text into a document, make the corrections, and then copy/paste the corrected text into a comment on the page (below) and we will get the corrected text published!

    How I Lead as Branch President in Lithuania | An Interview with Denis Grinevicius

    Play Episode Listen Later May 19, 2021 33:31

    Denis Grinevicius was a young teen when Lithuania broke from the USSR and become an independent country in 1993. Shortly afterward, as previously-forbidden religion became available, his family met the missionaries and he and his mother were baptized. Because the branch was small, he has had many opportunities to serve. He has been an elders quorum counselor and president multiple times, a branch counselor and president (twice), a district president and counselor, and a counselor in the mission presidency. Denis served in the Scotland Edinburgh mission and met his wife Nadezda at a youth conference in Moscow. They are the parents of three children. Highlights 4:30 About the Church in Lithuania; his conversion and Church service experience 11:20 Church experience with Covid 12:50 Care more about what the Lord will think and not what people think 14:30 Just do your best even when it's overwhelming 15:35 Never complain 17:30 Find joy in the service or re-evaluate what you are doing 18:45 Training the youth or training your replacement Trust the youth and give them opportunities to serve 23:00 Allow them to participate in presidency meetings so they learn from experience 25:00 Loving the people It can be easier to love than to accept love, but choosing to love people breaks down barriers Sometimes correcting people causes more harm than what we are trying to correct 30:30 Leadership in the Church is not like leadership in the world; his service helps him understand how the Lord served Links Read the TRANSCRIPT of this podcast. Note: This transcript was machine-produced. We would be grateful for help correcting errors. You can help! Simply copy/paste the transcript text into a document, make the corrections, and then copy/paste the corrected text into a comment on the page (below) and we will get the corrected text published!

    Mental Health & Youth | An Interview with Jody Moore

    Play Episode Listen Later May 15, 2021 56:45

    Jody Moore is a mother, speaker, Master Certified Life Coach and the owner of Jody Moore Coaching where she helps women improve their self-concept, live from empowering emotions and accomplish their goals. She has a multiple-7-figure coaching practice where she works with her clients online, teaching classes and hosting live calls, supplemented with live events. She has four children ages 4 to 13 and resides with them and her husband in Spokane, Washington. Prior to founding her coaching practice, Jody earned her Bachelor’s degree from Utah State University and a Master’s Degree at the University of Phoenix where she worked for many years as a sales trainer and leadership coach. Highlights 4:55 Life as we expected it this past year did not happen and this has especially affected the youth Tools to use with youth: #1 5:45 Normalize feeling unhappy Give our kids permission to feel something that isn't happy This is a normal part of being a human and nothing has gone wrong 8:15 Kelly McGonigal study on stress #2 11:30 Focus more on thoughts and less on actions when speaking with the youth Our thoughts are different than God's thoughts We need to start by choosing our thoughts intentionally Agency is also the ability to choose how/what to think and this is a skill youth can learn #3 16:30 Teach the youth how to feel their feelings Different approaches to emotion: resisting, avoiding, or feeling The "easy" button Relaxing into emotion instead of resisting Opposition in all things: we are not supposed to feel happy all the time #4 24:00 Seek to minimize shame Shame is natural but toxic The message of shame can easily slip in, even when we don't mean for it to Empathy is the antidote to shame Shame thrives in hiding Example of her experience with a bishop that steered her away from shame #5 29:15 Stop labeling everything as anxiety Sometimes it is anxiety, but sometimes it's just labeling negative emotion and thinking it needs to be fixed The better we become at accurately labeling our negative emotion, the better our chances at learning how to manage them 32:45 We have to get better at doing these things ourselves; learning to manage our own thoughts will help us help others better 36:00 Slowing down and making space for feeling emotions; "this is the part where I feel ____" 39:10 Learning how God thinks so we can become more like Him; asking the question, "What would Jesus think?" 41:30 Stress is a very useful thing and we can learn to handle it 42:40 Taking a deep breath and relaxing into the emotion 43:30 Her daughter's experience getting shots at the doctor: it's okay to just cry 44:30 Shame and guilt Shame is the feeling of guilt gone wild when the first feelings are not addressed Most people have learned to go straight to shame Guilt is information 48:30 Increasing our emotional vocabulary so we can have more leverage over the emotion 51:20 Addressing the thoughts and feelings first, and then the behavior 54:00 Final advice to leaders: embrace that you will do an amazing job and also not such a great job Links JodyMoore.com The Upside of Stress, by Kelly McGonigal

    How I Lead as Stake Relief Society President | An Interview with Sue Peterson

    Play Episode Listen Later May 12, 2021 50:31

    Sue Peterson has been a stake Relief Society president in Elk Ridge, Utah, for three years. She joined the Church at age 21 and has previously served as a ward Relief Society president, with the Young Women, in Sunday School, and as a Webelos leader. Sue enjoys writing and has taught journalism and drama classes. She and her husband Jack have been married 40 years and have six daughters and 12 grandchildren. Highlights 5:45 Her calling as stake Relief Society president 7:30 Calls herself a realist and believes in dropping the facade 11:15 Being brave and modeling vulnerability and openness from her own difficult life experiences 14:30 Others may be uncomfortable with vulnerability, but all that matters is what God thinks of you, not what others think 16:45 The Lord is always working on people, whatever their circumstances 19:10 Focusing on the Relief Society presidents in her stake: her job is to help them have every tool they need and be their advocate 24:15 "The Pretty Presidents Press" for her Relief Society presidents; being there in Relief Society regularly 26:00 One-on-one meetings with presidencies before ward conferences 30:45 Visits Relief Society meetings regularly but purposefully doesn't intrude on the meetings as a leader. Even ward conference was a discussion of two questions and not a lesson. 34:00 Actions she takes when a new ward Relief Society president is called 35:20 Teaching delegation; getting out of the way 36:10 Promoting Just Serve with specialists in each ward 41:20 Changes due to lessons learned from technology during the pandemic Stake Relief Society YouTube channel 46:00 "The Lord can do a lot more with my life than I can" Links Outline for new ward Relief Society presidents Read the TRANSCRIPT of this podcast. Note: This transcript was machine-produced. We would be grateful for help correcting errors. You can help! Simply copy/paste the transcript text into a document, make the corrections, and then copy/paste the corrected text into a comment on the page (below) and we will get the corrected text published!

    How Connection Can Improve Your Ward’s Mental Health | An Interview with Geoff Steurer

    Play Episode Listen Later May 8, 2021 68:21

    Geoff Steurer is a licensed marriage and family therapist in private practice in St. George, Utah, with over 20 years of experience. He is the co-author of Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity and the host of the weekly podcast, "From Crisis to Connection". He has produced workbooks, audio programs, and online courses helping couples and individuals heal from the impact of sexual betrayal, unwanted pornography use, partner betrayal trauma, and rebuilding broken trust. He received a bachelors in communications studies from Brigham Young University and a masters in marriage and family therapy from Auburn University, and maintains a private counseling practice in beautiful Southern Utah. Geoff has served as a bishop, on the high council, a young men's president, and currently serves as the gospel doctrine teacher in his ward. He's been married for 25 years to Jody Young Steurer and they are the parents of four children. Highlights 6:00 Why Geoff chose to talk about healthy attachment for the virtual summit because connection and attachment are within our realm of control 8:20 Making space for attachment Recognizing that attachment matters 10:15 Connection and individuality are not either/or; they both matter for our psychological well-being The messages of individuality as the source of happiness have pushed our culture in that direction, but the research says the web of relationships is vital 14:45 Adam & Eve: from the beginning we have known it is not good to be alone 18:25 The tendency to send away people who are lonely: people just need to be witnessed 20:40 It's the relationship that matters. 75-80% of what affects change in therapy is the relationship between the therapist and client 23:00 A leader or therapist cannot always be there. There are always people who care and can be part of their life if we get creative. The Church has a built-in system to create healthy relationships and attachments that can help people feel included; it's part of our baptismal commitment 27:45 There are opportunities beyond the ministering program for us to connect with others; the surface relationships can go deeper and we are all looking for that 34:30 A summary of attachment science 41:25 Marriage isn't the solution to loneliness for single adults 42:20 Exercises for calling on attachments and creating connection even when alone; our system is designed to store those bonding moments 48:00 Reaching out to an old friend 49:45 How to leverage attachment As individuals: take the risk to connect to others 55:55 In our families: children are a mix of dependency and a need to be independent; parents need to support both 58:40 Children will thrive even in the messiness: just show up and support people 1:00:30 In the Church: we have opportunities to connect with people who we would not otherwise be part of our lives Don't overcomplicate with organization: See people as people and connect with them 1:05:25 Start by recognizing your own comfort level with connection Links GeoffSteurer.com Trust Building Academy

    How I Lead as Bishop | An Interview with Donald Kelly

    Play Episode Listen Later May 6, 2021 48:01

    Donald Kelly has served as a bishop, executive secretary, Sunday School teacher, YSA representative, and in an elders quorum presidency. He joined the Church as a teenager, served a mission in Detroit, Michigan, and graduated from Brigham Young University Idaho with a bachelor's degree in Business Administration with an emphasis on marketing. He is the founder and CEO of The Sales Evangelist sales training organization in South Florida, and host of The Sales Evangelist podcast. Highlights 3:40 What his organization does teaching sales principles as business consultants 4:35 His conversion story and convincing his mother to allow him to be baptized and serve a mission 10:40 Calling as a bishop at age 31 12:00 The challenge of developing leaders in the Church Coaching from both excellent examples and learning experiences Being intentional about mentoring other leaders so they can develop and stand on their own 18:00 A letter and binder of information for newly-called leaders 20:00 Emphasis on one-on-one interviews to identify challenges and offer guidance 21:20 Details about how they created and used the binders and instructional videos for new leaders to transition between individuals in callings 31:30 Details about using one-on-one interviews to counsel together and empower leaders in the ward 34:50 Including counselors in ward councils to share the burden and help develop their leadership skills 40:40 Never assuming understanding 44:00 Gained a greater understanding of the Atonement and a richer study of the scriptures Links TheSalesEvangelist.com LinkedIn: DonaldCKelly Read the TRANSCRIPT of this podcast. Note: This transcript was machine-produced. We would be grateful for help correcting errors. You can help! Simply copy/paste the transcript text into a document, make the corrections, and then copy/paste the corrected text into a comment on the page (below) and we will get the corrected text published!

    Anxiety Management Using Gospel Principles | An Interview with David Morgan

    Play Episode Listen Later May 3, 2021 79:00

    Dr. David Morgan received a Bachelor of Science in Psychology, Master of Science in Counseling and Guidance, and Doctor of Philosophy in Counseling Psychology, all from Brigham Young University. He has worked in the mental health field for more than 25 years and has been a licensed psychologist for almost 20 years. Dr. Morgan maintains a private psychology practice in Washington state. He is a lifelong member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and currently serves as the elders quorum president in his ward. Highlights 4:00 There are so many principles of the gospel that can help us with mental health 6:15 Alma 46 verse referencing physical health remedies: wouldn't he have done the same for mental health? True principles founded in research and good psychological practice but also found in scripture 8:50 Six Gospel-Centered Principles Don't worry about having anxiety Some anxiety is good for us and helps improve our performance or gives us energy boosts; the problem comes when we have a chronic response to circumstances that are not dangerous 12:30 It's okay to have challenges and weaknesses; Ether 12:27: reach out for help; you are not broken or cursed 14:45 Understand diagnostic labels, but let the professionals determine what is going on Diagnoses change as professional opinions change Most mental health diagnoses are temporary 19:40 Realize the power of your thoughts Our thoughts play a significant role in how we feel; scriptural example of the storm on the Sea of Galilee and the different reactions to it 22:20 You can't control everything that happens around you, but you can control what we think about those things 24:20 "The challenge is closing the gap between our beliefs and the truth." 26:00 Anxiety management involves confronting anxiety Until you do the thing that is causing anxiety, you won't know the result; not doing it reinforces the anxiety "That wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be." 29:50 Start with small steps: you become more tolerant and the anxiety lessens 31:30 Recognize anxiety as a means of building faith Challenge exercises and strengthens our faith as we go through the process of growth Parable of the talents; faith and fear are opposites and faith can replace anxiety 36:40 Be careful about what you feed your brain The brain will respond and adapt to what we put into it Our brains become better and better at what we do over and over Find balance: the scriptures are full of the call to peace and faith, not anxiety A gospel of action: Your brain can change and become better 44:00 Should members go to their church leaders or get professional help? It's best to get as many people involved as possible when someone needs extra help dealing with mental health issues. Church leaders aren't therapists, but they can be a gateway to more help 49:30 The bishop's role in counseling is being minimized: elders quorum and Relief Society leaders can take much of the load off the bishop's desk 54:30 We are not alone: if we could see each other without pretence, we could relieve ourselves of the shame of struggling

    Navigating the Intersection of Faith and Politics | An Interview with Thomas Griffith

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 28, 2021 45:02

    Judge Thomas B. Griffith is an expert in constitutional law. He has served as chief counsel for both the U.S. Senate and for Brigham Young University, and was appointed to a judgeship by George W. Bush on the Washington, D.C., Court of Appeals, from which he recently retired. In his church experience he has served as both a bishop and a stake president. He lives in Virginia, practices law in D.C., and teaches at Harvard Law School. In this collaboratory episode, Kurt Francom and Faith Matters co-founder Bill Turnbull talk with Thomas to explore President Oaks' most recent General Conference address. President Oaks spoke passionately about the U.S. Constitution and ended with an urgent admonition to end political tribalism and division, insisting that we address this in our wards and stakes. They also discuss what lies behind those divisions—the rapid erosion of goodwill and trust in the American body politic—including among Latter-day Saints. Thomas believes Latter-day Saints can and must play a critical role in healing today’s divides. Leaders especially have a role in helping ward members follow President Oaks' counsel. Highlights 2:10 Quote from President Oaks' talk: "On contested issues, we should seek to moderate and unify. … There are many political issues, and no party, platform, or individual candidate can satisfy all personal preferences. Each citizen must therefore decide which issues are most important to him or her at any particular time. Then members should seek inspiration on how to exercise their influence according to their individual priorities. This process will not be easy. It may require changing party support or candidate choices, even from election to election." 3:45 The thought never occurred to him that his political views were driven by his faith commitments Quote from President Oaks' talk: "Such independent actions will sometimes require voters to support candidates or political parties or platforms whose other positions they cannot approve. That is one reason we encourage our members to refrain from judging one another in political matters. We should never assert that a faithful Latter-day Saint cannot belong to a particular party or vote for a particular candidate. We teach correct principles and leave our members to choose how to prioritize and apply those principles on the issues presented from time to time. We also insist, and we ask our local leaders to insist, that political choices and affiliations not be the subject of teachings or advocacy in any of our Church meetings." 6:40 What can leaders take away from this: How does this apply to me? How can I change and be a better disciple of Christ based on this counsel? 8:30 Rigid identification with one political party has been a long-time concern with the general leadership of the church 9:45 Polarization is complicated: we sort ourselves with like-minded people and have less interaction with people who think differently, and those interactions are increasingly hostile 11:15 Media, social media, and confirmation bias: living in an echo chamber 13:45 Be introspective and thoughtful, always questioning your own assumptions; Jesus is always challenging us 15:15 Beyond Politics: the role of politics for disciples of Christ; we need to learn how to do politics differently than the political parties do 17:00 The narratives of fear and demonizing the other 18:40 "Bishop Griffith" would quote President Oaks in a talk and instruct his ward to leave politics out of all conversations at church 21:55 Kurt's experience in a more conservative church meeting 24:40 Political views are separate from religious views; you can have widely divergent political views and be an active member of the Church 26:10 How faith should inform our political views: the purpose of politics is to help "the least of these" 28:00 One thing a leader can do is to give permission to believe differently politically 31:30 Leaders often mistake an ability problem f...

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