The Love Lawyers

Follow The Love Lawyers
Share on
Copy link to clipboard

Two T14 law students deal with lockdown by drinking a lot and reading lawyer-themed porn.

Liz & Memphis


    • Jan 20, 2023 LATEST EPISODE
    • monthly NEW EPISODES
    • 29m AVG DURATION
    • 75 EPISODES


    Search for episodes from The Love Lawyers with a specific topic:

    Latest episodes from The Love Lawyers

    In which . . . just . . . why is Clippy so erotic? And why are we aroused?

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 20, 2023 19:29


    As promised, we have returned to attack your earbuds and heartbuds with Clippy, the erotic tale of a Microsoft Office Assistant turned horndog. Unless . . . there's a plot twist that causes us to question the entirety of this universe.

    In which we return from Covid to anger the lord and read...strange pr0n.

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 13, 2023 26:54


    In which DEAR GOD HOW DOES IT KEEP GETTING WORSE?

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 9, 2022 40:37


    In which boy-bonding happens and the bitchwife emerges.

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 2, 2022 32:22


    In which nipples are slipped and someone says "I love you."

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 26, 2022 33:32


    The mystery! The drama! The suspense! Who will spill their heart out? The whiny, needy protagonist who has made zero good decisions since this saga started, or the cold, emotionless douche who does the bare minimum and is praised for it? Find out in this episode!

    In which working women learn to get on their knees when their boss is angry.

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 19, 2022 28:44


    He did it all for the nookie. Remember kids -- the only thing that can stop a sad lawyer with a grudge is a . . . sexy lawyer with a blowjob? I don't know, it sounded good in my head. I'll come up with something better next week . . . Probably not though.

    In which MaKayla flashes her *thing* at Matt.

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 12, 2022 29:46


    Matt and Makayla have adult conversations that are mostly Matt putting his fingers inside his girlfriend while she tries to have a serious discussion. Don't worry - she's fixed him. Liz and Memphis start a Dave-related foundation to protect an underserved population.

    In which his rooster seduces my body, but his words seduce my heart.

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 29, 2022 33:11


    (Legal) Affairs of the Heart

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 8, 2022 31:48


    We continue our comedic trek through Sawyer's Magnum Opus with Book 5, Reparation. Where we last left off, our fearless protagonist had managed to make absolutely no progress in her love life, her friendships, or her career after only.... holy crap 4 books? The love of her life had asked her out on a date after only 6 months of furious humping. WHAT WILL SHE WEAR??

    In which protofeathers are ruffled, dongs drag the ground, and the Fuckceratops makes a return.

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 26, 2022 31:31


    Yes, we know what's happening in the United States. Yes, we are upset. No, this episode doesn't address it because it was recorded prior. Just listen to some weird dino pr0n with us and laugh. We all need it.

    In which a little lord lusts for large lizard legs.

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 10, 2022 30:59


    Our newest novella, Lord Bartholomew's Ankylosaur Lover, continues our tradition (?) of punishing ourselves with bad romance. Stay tuned for fancy wordplay, Covid coughs, and the introduction of a new dino love interest. It literally could not get worse than the last book. HAPPY PRIDE YOU QUEERS!

    In which sexy dino summer begins.

    Play Episode Listen Later May 6, 2022 31:35


    The world is bad and scary . . . anyway, let's read some dino porn together. Includes rage-filled tangents from two queer women lawyers trying to cope with losing their rights to their own bodies. Is coping by reading about sexy telepathic dinosaurs valid? Yes, yes it is. VOTE IN THE MIDTERMS IF YOU ARE IN THE UNITED STATES.

    In which oh my god these are crimes - run, girl, run!

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 8, 2022 32:44


    Our protagonist screams at her boss about her poor work product, and he responds in a professional manner that does not implicate him in any misconduct. Why would you think that? We are confused. Send help. Content warning at the beginning of the episode.

    In which McKayla is taught the value of hard work.

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 1, 2022 32:17


    Our sexy man hero (swoon) is incapable of running a law firm without sleeping with McKayla . . . how did he do it before she arrived? Secretaries are chased away in tears, McKayla is bratty and incapable of taking constructive criticism, and Matt is his usual prick self despite being the love interest. Share us with your friends!

    In which Matt puts his dick away.

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 18, 2022 21:33


    Boy, our protagonist's relationship seems to be on the rocks AGAIN. Whatever will happen? Will McKayla learn that there are people who can be both good at sex AND emotionally compatible? Will Matt learn that his terrifying orgasmotron of a penis does not solve all problems? Will Cal finally meet someone worthy of his love? One way to find out!

    In which... wait what do you mean he has a kid?

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 25, 2022 31:02


    In our last episode we found out that Matt is terrible at his job and should probably be put in jail. What new revelations can come about this progressively more awful person?

    In which we do do do the Butt Stuff.

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 18, 2022 40:49


    A middle aged woman tries to write about anal sex without using any impolite terms. MacKayla is living in a loop forever. Even Matt Fucking Conover's love rivals revere him after gross malpractice occurs. Two queer lawyers try desperately to make sense of this.

    In which two women try to have a conversation that isn't about men

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 11, 2022 36:48


    Last episode, McKayla and Matt had.... well, I suppose you could call that sex. Now, we must indulge in that most classic of traditions, telling your friends all about your sex life.

    In which our heroine awakes to feeeeeeeelings.

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 4, 2022 34:50


    Are our protagonists (if you could call them that) falling in love? Probably not - we're only halfway through the book. Like and subscribe to our podcast for weekly exasperated reviews!

    In which we finally witness the worst sex.

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 28, 2022 31:07


    In which literally every single other woman must be ELIMINATED.

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 21, 2022 32:27


    In which Lorraine leaves and McKayla lusts.

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 14, 2022 28:51


    In which there are serious concequences for inappropriate actions.

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 7, 2022 25:51


    In our last episode, MacKayla nearly came to blows with her supervisor, Lorraine. After discovering this, her boss/f**boy summoned her to her office. Will there finally be consequences for her persistent shitty behavior? We will see!

    In which diplomas are smashed and everyone is the worst at their job.

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 31, 2021 29:21


    Last episode of 2021, and it's a doozy. Lorraine finally shows how skanky and awful she is. McKayla believes that making appointments to see Matt means she has "unfettered access" to her former lover. McKayla has now spent 46 months studying biomechanical engineering. Happy New Year!

    In which interns are sexed and a new variant is unleashed..

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 10, 2021 36:15


    So in the final (for now) installment of this breakout series where Liz and Memphis read virus porn, Dr. Amy Amyson becomes . . . the virus. Juices. Interns. Boobies as big and red as the sun. This chapter has it all. If you like us, comment/subscribe/tell your friends/send us love letters.

    In which a new Covid strain is discovered after a lustful liaison in a lavatory.

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 3, 2021 30:58


    Dr. Amy Amyson gets attacked by a sexy air hostess's privates in an airplane bathroom, only to find out later that she has Covid. Will she have the D1CK strain of Covid that was spreading across the globe? Or, is there an even newer strain of Covid out there? Just in time for our world to get rekt by a new variant IRL. Well, good luck everyone.

    COVID Chronicles, Book 3: In which everyone is a pansexual nightmare and it's amazing.

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 19, 2021 32:14


    Liz and Memphis begin the third book of the Covid Chronicles. In this book, another sexy lady scientist microbiologist researcher returns from a conference full of other sexy scientists. She is unabashedly sex-positive and humps anything that moves. Memphis finds her soul mate, and Liz is a prude. Join us in this lesbian virus romance as Dr. Amy Amyson pushes the limits of SCIENCE.

    In which the pandemic is cured by gay sex

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 12, 2021 33:58


    He took TWO DOSES. What does this mean? Will he survive? I'm sure nothing unusual or otherworldly will possibly happen this week....

    In which tits bounce in anger and meats are marinated.

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 5, 2021 35:15


    In this week's episode, our sexy, buxom Dr. Kelly has more encounters with deli meats. She also has an encounter with a less-sexy, less buxom doctor. Finally, she has an encounter with a man so sexy his arms were the size of elephant legs. What could go wrong? Remember when we read law-themed erotica? Pepperidge farm remembers.

    COVID Chronicles, Book 2: In which unspeakable things are done with a hotdog.

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 29, 2021 33:05


    In which the she murdered him with science!

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 15, 2021 30:48


    The Love Lawyers (formerly known as Premature Adjudication) explore the sexy world of SCIENCE. "Drops" are SI units, Covid vaccines are shot up on the spot to test them out, and people are gross enough to not let their coworkers know when they are infected. If you like us, please like/comment/subscribe/shout from the rooftops!

    In which a sexy lady scientist lusts after the Coronavirus.

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 8, 2021 35:16


    Formerly Premature Adjudication, and now with an easier name, Liz and Memphis embark on a new book. Dr. Alexa Ashingtonford is a sexy scientist who spends her days stroking sexy test tubes full of Coronavirus. How will she keep her pants on in such a steamy work environment? What part of this story makes even the tiniest bit of sense?? Join us as Alexa kisses the Coronavirus. Rate/comment if you like the podcast~

    SEASON FINALE: In which the sexy sax music ceases.

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 1, 2021 27:27


    Ummm . . . So this is the end of Book 2, and things go south with our heroine and her garbage boss. Please help us with the jokes for this episode. It's a lot. If you like us, please rate/comment on your favorite podcast app! Thank you for three great seasons!

    In which MacKayla has grounds to sue Matt for sexual harassment.

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 24, 2021 26:35


    For some reason, Spotify has not been updating our podcast this week. We're working on resolving this issue! Stay tuned! MacKayla does legal things and her memo receives no praise. Of course, this means that her boss Lorraine is horrible and a skank (her words). Will the revelation that Lorraine and Matt are going to dinner derail MacKayla's entire existence? Will she commit for-real murder because two partners at her law firm interact with each other? Find out this, and more, in today's episode. If you like us, share us with your friends and rate/comment on your favorite podcast app!

    In which McKayla commits ACTUAL MALPRACTICE because opposing counsel is hot.

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 17, 2021 27:57


    McKayla heads on over to the only place in New York that an employed attorney can work: The Columbia Law Library. While there, a sexy stranger approaches and legal malpractice ensues. Could Liz and Memphis ever get laid by simply doing research on piercing the corporate veil? If you like our show, please rate/comment on your favorite podcast app!

    In which backdoors open, showers break, and pancakes lead the way to tears

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 10, 2021 26:26


    Matt didn't have energy for sex? Will things ever be the same? What will happen when Matt wakes up in McKayla's bed NOT smelling of shame?

    In Which Shower Sexcapades are Suprisingly Dissappointing

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 3, 2021 27:15


    Makayla, with her absolute lack of self-esteem, desperately wants to impress a man while wearing pyjamas. Disgusting, right? Matt, the ORGASM MASTER, doesn't have time to listen to her talk about . . . well, anything. Ah, young love. If you like us, please rate us on your favourite podcast app!

    Claim The Love Lawyers

    In order to claim this podcast we'll send an email to with a verification link. Simply click the link and you will be able to edit tags, request a refresh, and other features to take control of your podcast page!

    Claim Cancel