Podcasts about harrowby hall

  • 32PODCASTS
  • 48EPISODES
  • 29mAVG DURATION
  • ?INFREQUENT EPISODES
  • Oct 14, 2024LATEST

POPULARITY

20172018201920202021202220232024


Best podcasts about harrowby hall

Latest podcast episodes about harrowby hall

This Freakin' Show
This Freakin Show - S08 E36 - This Freaky Show - Killers Less Known & The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall

This Freakin' Show

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 14, 2024 38:47


This Freaky Episode discusses Serial Killers that are lesser known by society. and of course.... Freak Joe's next Freaky Tales!!! This week's Freaky Tales - "The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall" by John Kendrick Bangs   As always, this episode was brought to you by: Carter Comics - CarterComics.Com - Use the Promo Code "FreakNet" at Check Out to save 10% on your order & Audible.com - Audibletrial.com/freaknet  - Get a 30 Day Free Trial of Audible!!!   We Have Merchandise!!!! Check out our merch at www.TeePublic.com by searching "TFS"   This Freakin Show is now part of Freak Net Studios!! Facebook: Freak Net Studios Instagram: @freaknetstudios YouTube: Freak Net Studios   Follow the Podcast on Social Media: Twitter: @thisfreakinshow Facebook: This Freakin' Show Instagram: @thisfreakinshow Email us: thisfreakinshow@yahoo.com Website: ThisFreakinShow.com   Music Provided By: MeTOMicA - Host of 4MB & Jedi Talk

The Mutual Audio Network
Tuesday Terror, June 25th, 2024

The Mutual Audio Network

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 25, 2024 2:05


The tales of terror continue with Ties of Blood Part Two, We're Alive: Chapter 46.2, and Horror Story Collection 002- The Ghost of Harrowby Hall! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

ghosts terror ties harrowby hall
The Mutual Audio Network
Horror Story Collection 002- The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall(062524)

The Mutual Audio Network

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 25, 2024 24:11


This week we complete our second collection with a story from John Kendrick Bangs with "The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall". Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tuesday Terror
Tuesday Terror, June 25th, 2024

Tuesday Terror

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 25, 2024 2:05


The tales of terror continue with Ties of Blood Part Two, We're Alive: Chapter 46.2, and Horror Story Collection 002- The Ghost of Harrowby Hall! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

ghosts terror ties harrowby hall
Tuesday Terror
Horror Story Collection 002- The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall

Tuesday Terror

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 25, 2024 24:11


This week we complete our second collection with a story from John Kendrick Bangs with "The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall". Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Quiet Corner Bedtime Stories
The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall

The Quiet Corner Bedtime Stories

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 19, 2024 23:07


Tonight Amon will read a short ghost story by John Kendrick Bangs titled 'The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall.' A humorous ghost story published in 1894 about an ancestral mansion that is haunted every Christmas Eve by a Water Ghost. So cozy up in your Quiet Corner and enjoy tonights story. Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠The Quiet Corner Bedtime Stories (@thequietcornerbedtimestories) • Instagram photos and videos⁠⁠⁠ The Music in tonight's episode is from Wander | Royalty-Free Music - Pixabay Intro Music Just Relax | Royalty-Free Music - Pixabay If you like The Quiet Corner Bedtime Stories please rate, review or share with a friend so we can keep the show going, thank you all for your support, it is much appreciated.

Scare You To Sleep
310. The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall

Scare You To Sleep

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 23, 2023 44:23


The heir of a cursed estate attempts to find a way to outsmart the Water Ghost of Harrowboy Hall The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall [1894] by John Kendrick Bangs TRIGGER WARNINGS AVAILABLE AT BOTTOM OF SHOW NOTES. MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS. Leave me a voice mail! ‪(323) 546-8764‬ Ad Free version available on Patreon LinkTree for all of my social media, YouTube, Patreon etc. You can send your stories to: scareyoutosleep@gmail.com Music by Epidemic Sound and Co.AG Music: The Snow Queen by Kevin MacLeod Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/4511-the-snow-queen Licensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license Music: Frozen Star by Kevin MacLeod Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/3782-frozen-star Licensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license Music: Epic Cinematic Goblin Revenge Orchestra Instrumental by EdiKey20 Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/7596-epic-cinematic-goblin-revenge-orchestra-instrumental Licensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license Music: Wizardtorium by Kevin MacLeod Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/4639-wizardtorium Licensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license Additional sounds from FreeSound.org: Water Splash 2 by qubodup | License: Attribution 4.0 whoosh06.wav by FreqMan | License: Attribution 4.0 DistantExplosionSynthetic.wav by zimbot | License: Attribution 4.0 Antique Clock Ticking then Strikes Twelve by iainmccurdy | License: Attribution 4.0 TW: suicide Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Scare You To Sleep
310. The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall

Scare You To Sleep

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 23, 2023 44:23


The heir of a cursed estate attempts to find a way to outsmart the Water Ghost of Harrowboy Hall The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall [1894] by John Kendrick Bangs TRIGGER WARNINGS AVAILABLE AT BOTTOM OF SHOW NOTES. MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS. Leave me a voice mail! ‪(323) 546-8764‬ Ad Free version available on Patreon LinkTree for all of my social media, YouTube, Patreon etc. You can send your stories to: scareyoutosleep@gmail.com Music by Epidemic Sound and Co.AG Music: The Snow Queen by Kevin MacLeod Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/4511-the-snow-queen Licensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license Music: Frozen Star by Kevin MacLeod Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/3782-frozen-star Licensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license Music: Epic Cinematic Goblin Revenge Orchestra Instrumental by EdiKey20 Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/7596-epic-cinematic-goblin-revenge-orchestra-instrumental Licensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license Music: Wizardtorium by Kevin MacLeod Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/4639-wizardtorium Licensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license Additional sounds from FreeSound.org: Water Splash 2 by qubodup | License: Attribution 4.0 whoosh06.wav by FreqMan | License: Attribution 4.0 DistantExplosionSynthetic.wav by zimbot | License: Attribution 4.0 Antique Clock Ticking then Strikes Twelve by iainmccurdy | License: Attribution 4.0 TW: suicide Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Daily Short Stories - Mystery & Suspense
The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall - John Kendrick Bangs

Daily Short Stories - Mystery & Suspense

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 9, 2023 20:56


https://www.solgood.org - Check out our Streaming Service for our full collection of audiobooks, podcasts, short stories, & 10 hour sounds for sleep and relaxation at our websiteThis show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5114976/advertisement

Daily Short Stories - Scary Stories
The Water Chost of Harrowby Hall - John Kendrick Bangs - Daily Short stories - Scary Stories

Daily Short Stories - Scary Stories

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 15, 2022 21:24


View our full collection of podcasts at our website: https://www.solgoodmedia.com or YouTube channel: www.solgood.org/subscribe

FROM THE GREAT LIBRARY OF DREAMS PODCAST
069 - The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall by John Kendrick Bangs

FROM THE GREAT LIBRARY OF DREAMS PODCAST

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 12, 2022 28:28


A dark and witty tale of a dreadful, drenching spectral lady that appears to haunt Harrowby Hall every Christmas Eve... --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/hypnogoria/message

Mystery & Suspense - Daily Short Stories
The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall - John Kendrick Bangs

Mystery & Suspense - Daily Short Stories

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 19, 2022 20:56


View our full collection of podcasts at our website: https://www.solgoodmedia.com or YouTube channel: www.solgood.org/subscribe

ghosts water bangs harrowby hall
Scary Stories - Daily Short Stories
The Water Chost of Harrowby Hall - John Kendrick Bangs - Daily Short stories - Ghost and Horror

Scary Stories - Daily Short Stories

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 15, 2022 21:24


View our full collection of podcasts at our website: https://www.solgood.org/ or YouTube channel: www.solgood.org/subscribe

Campfire Classics Podcast
The Return of Sir Johnny Bangs

Campfire Classics Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 22, 2022 62:26


Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!! Officially knighted by...well...us...Sir Johnny Bangs has returned! That's right friends, our author from Episode 1 of this season is back! Back then we read "The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall," which was an amusing or sad ride, depending on whose side you were on.  This week we're reading a Sherlock Holmes/A.J. Raffles mashup called "The Adventure of the Dorrington Ruby Seal". Emily works her way through the story, but the usual distractions still exist: How's the puzzle going? What is a turf person? Who is going to ejaculate this week!? "The Adventure of the Dorrington Ruby Seal" was published in 1906 in the book R. Holmes & Co.: Being the Remarkable Adventures of Raffles Holmes, Esq., Detective and Amateur Cracksman by Birth. Remember to tell five friends to check out Campfire Classics. Like, subscribe, leave a review. Now sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

Daily Short Stories - Scary Stories
The Water Chost of Harrowby Hall - John Kendrick Bangs - Daily Short stories - Ghost and Horror

Daily Short Stories - Scary Stories

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 18, 2022 21:24


View our full collection of podcasts at our website: https://www.solgood.org/ or YouTube channel: www.solgood.org/subscribe

The Creepy Reads Podcast
The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall

The Creepy Reads Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 22, 2021 25:51


Christmas time is here and so is Tori The Moth with another creepy Christmas read! Join her as she takes you through this seasonal scary short story by John Kendrick Bangs. Get a fire going and pour yourself some eggnog or hot chocolate as we continue to revive the Victorian tradition of telling ghost stories at Christmas. "Although I would classify [this story] as a witty, dark comedy, it is rooted in the paranormal and counts as a ghost story, so as far as I'm concerned, it counts as a creepy read!"Pixabay Music Credits:"Creepy Night" by astrofreq"Frederic Chopin, Mazurka In A Minor, Opus 67 Number 2,- Classical Remix Harpsichord" by Nesrality

Scary Stories
The Water Chost of Harrowby Hall - John Kendrick Bangs - Daily Short stories - Ghost and Horror

Scary Stories

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 6, 2021 21:24


Stories - Scary
The Water Chost of Harrowby Hall - John Kendrick Bangs - Daily Short stories - Ghost and Horror

Stories - Scary

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 4, 2021 21:24


View our full collection of podcasts at our website: https://www.solgood.org/ or YouTube channel: www.solgood.org/subscribe

Stories - Mystery Suspense
The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall - John Kendrick Bangs

Stories - Mystery Suspense

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 4, 2021 20:56


View our full collection of podcasts at our website: https://www.solgood.org/ or YouTube channel: www.solgood.org/subscribe

ghosts water bangs harrowby hall
Mystery and Suspense Stories - BINGE IT!
The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall - John Kendrick Bangs

Mystery and Suspense Stories - BINGE IT!

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 2, 2021 20:56


View our full collection of podcasts at our website: https://www.solgood.org/ or YouTube channel: www.solgood.org/subscribe

ghosts water bangs harrowby hall
19 Nocturne Boulevard
19 Nocturne Boulevard - THE WATER GHOST OF HARROWBY HALL - Reissue

19 Nocturne Boulevard

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 2, 2021 38:24


From our Edwardian Entertainments collection, just in time for the winter holidays. The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall A hereditary curse appears in a torrent of water every Christmas to the current heir.  How to stop this perennial wet blanket? By John Kendrick Bangs, adapted by Julie Hoverson Sound produced by Scott Pigg Cast: The GHOST - Gwendolyn Jensen-Woodard Edward - Gareth Bowley Leslie - Tansy Undercrypt Father - John Lingard Mother - Jennifer Dixon The American - Julie Hoverson **************************************************** THE WATER GHOST OF HARROWBY HALL Adapted by Julie Hoverson from the story by John Kendrick Bangs [published in 1894] Cast: The GHOST EDWARD Oglethorpe, the Young Master LESLIE Widdrington, The Secretary HENRY Oglethorpe, the father LYDIA Oglethorpe, the mother Christina, vapid American debutante   MUSIC - CHRISTMAS   SCENE 1.    BALLROOM SOUND    FAIRLY SEDATE PARTY CHRISTINA    [american] I'm terribly charmed to meet you!  I've never danced with a Lord before.  Makes me feel like a lady. EDWARD    [chuckles]  You're lucky I'm also a gentleman - not every lord can claim that. CHRISTINA    Oh, you! EDWARD    You're in London with friends? CHRISTINA    I'm a guest of the Harrisons.  Daddy thought a trip to England would be nice polish.  He's very impressed by nobilities. EDWARD    I'm sure. SOUND    CLOCK STARTS TO STRIKE TWELVE CHRISTINA    Goodness, your parties go late over here.  I'm afraid you must think I'm terribly provincial. EDWARD    Oh no.  Never. SOUND    CLOCK FINISHES, SUDDEN DELUGE OF WATER, COVERS EVERYTHING. CHRISTINA    [screaming!]  My dress!  Oh no! SOUND    OTHER PEOPLE PROTESTING, RUNNING AWAY EDWARD    [calm but shouting] Just clear out, everyone, please! SOUND    DOORS SLAM, NO MORE RUNNING GHOST    Oglethorpe. EDWARD    [sigh]  Yes. MUSIC   SCENE 2.    BALLROOM, DRIPPING WET SOUND    KNOCK ON THE DOOR LESLIE    Hello? SOUND    WATER STILL DRIPPING ALL OVER EDWARD    [glum] It's all over but the blotting.  Safe to come in. SOUND    DOOR OPENS, WOMAN WALKS IN LESLIE    Oh, my. EDWARD    [resigned] I'll take care of any repairs.  LESLIE    Towel?  I also brought you a robe, but we haven't even been properly introduced yet. EDWARD    Henry Oglethorpe.  [sigh]  Baron Harrowby, I suspect. LESLIE    Leslie Widdrington.  Poor relation. EDWARD    [chuckles, but not really amused] Huh.  I've just come into a great deal of money. LESLIE    How's that? EDWARD    My father must have died, or this would have happened to him.  LESLIE    Ah.  [sympathetical understanding] Ancestral curse? EDWARD    You're curiously sanguine about it. LESLIE    [flippant] It's not my ballroom.  Come along, let's get you out of this damp.  Perhaps a hot bath would be in order? MUSIC   SCENE 3.    CASTLE LESLIE    [reading] "The trouble with Harrowby Hall is that it was haunted.  What was worse, the ghost did not content itself with merely appearing at the bedside of the afflicted person who saw it, but persisted in remaining there for one mortal hour before it would disappear." EDWARD    My father had a flowery turn of phrase. LESLIE    A style the suits the classic ghost story.  You're quite sure you don't mind? EDWARD    I need to confide in someone, and he's already written it all down.  But you can skip past the part about it appearing only for an hour every Christmas at midnight.  I think we've established that. LESLIE    You're lucky you didn't catch pneumonia. EDWARD    I'm still undecided.  [coughs, but not seriously]  At least one good thing came from the deluge. LESLIE    Oh? EDWARD    I needed a secretary. LESLIE    I suppose it pays to be intrepid, then.  SOUND    PAGES FLIP LESLIE    Ah.  [start here?] "The owners of Harrowby Hall had done their utmost--?"   EDWARD    Sounds good. LESLIE    "--their utmost to rid themselves of the damp and dewy lady who rose up out of the best bedroom floor at midnight, but without avail.  They had tried stopping the clock, so that the ghost would not know when it was midnight; but she made her appearance just the same, with that fearful miasmatic personality of hers, and there she would stand until everything about her was thoroughly saturated." EDWARD    We've done absolutely everything.  Or tried to.  My own grandfather caulked up every crack in the floor, covered it with tarpaper - every conceivable kind of waterproofing was put into effect.  And yet-- LESLIE    But you weren't even in the tower room. EDWARD    [sigh] It's all in the manuscript. LESLIE    At least it will be another year until she makes an appearance. EDWARD    There is a great deal to be said for predictability. LESLIE    [reading dramatically] "The following Christmas eve she appeared as promptly as before, and frightened the occupant of the room--" EDWARD    That wasn't even one of my forefathers.  Just an unfortunate guest.  LESLIE    "Frightened him quite out of his senses by sitting down alongside of him and gazing with her cavernous blue eyes into his; and her long, aqueously bony fingers were entwined with bits of dripping seaweed - these ends she drew across his forehead until he became like one insane. EDWARD    I believe he never recovered from the shock, or the damp, or perhaps the cold, and died several years later of pneumonia and nervous prostration. LESLIE    Then comes a year they chose not to open the room at all. EDWARD    "Let her haunt the room - she'll not haunt me!"  Father railed, or so I have been told. LESLIE    Didn't work, though, did it? EDWARD    [sigh]  No.  Apparently the room is only the primary target.  If there is no one present to receive her, the current lord will always have a visitor.  LESLIE    Thus the monsoon in the ballroom? EDWARD    [rueful]  Father didn't even tell me he was doing poorly.  [snappy again] A little warning would have been ... convenient.  I could have spent the night in the desert. LESLIE    What do you plan to do? EDWARD    Foil her. LESLIE    How? EDWARD    That I do not quite know... yet.  I need to go over father's manuscript with a fine tooth comb for any possible clues.  Anything can be overcome with the application of a modicum of logic. LESLIE    Well, then.  Shall we get back to it? EDWARD    Go back to the year father tried to simply ignore the ghost.  It seems she first appeared in the tower room, for the parlor below had a great damp spot on the ceiling.  But she didn't stay there. LESLIE    [reading]  "She found me in my own cozy room drinking whiskey," undiluted, he notes, "and felicitating myself upon having foiled her ghostship, when all of a sudden the curl went out of my hair, the whiskey bottle filled and overflowed, and I found myself in a condition similar to that of a man who has fallen into a water-butt." [chuckles] EDWARD    Father always did have a turn of phrase.  And a fondness for water-butts.  [dramatic] And there she stood.  The lady of the cavernous eyes and seaweed fingers. LESLIE    "The sight was so unexpected and so terrifying that I fainted, but immediately came to, as the vast amount of chill water trickling down over my face restored my consciousness." EDWARD    I like a good shower bath as much as the next person, but I do prefer it on the tropical side of tepid.  LESLIE    [teasing] Hush.  EDWARD    My father was a brave man, and not to be daunted.  Forced to face the ghost, he determined to discover some particulars. LESLIE    "In an effort to warm myself, I approached the hearth, an unfortunate move as it turned out, because it brought the ghost directly over the fire, which immediately was extinguished." EDWARD    So he faced her with all the bravado he could muster. LESLIE    Sounds like he was chock a block with bravado.  At least the way he wrote it. EDWARD    Let us hope it runs in the family. LESLIE    [leading into flashback] He faced the ghost... MUSIC SEGUE INTO FLASHBACK SOUND    WATER DRIPPING and TRICKLING HENRY    Far be it from me to be impolite to a woman, madam, but I'm hanged if it wouldn't please me better if you'd stop these infernal visits of yours to this house.  Go sit out on the lake, if you like that sort of thing; soak the water-butt, if you wish; but do not, I implore you, come into a gentleman's house and saturate him and his possessions in this way.  It is damned disagreeable. GHOST    Henry Hartwick Oglethorpe.  That is a bit of specious nonsense.  You must know that I am compelled to haunt this place year after year by inexorable fate.  I never aspired to be a shower-bath, but it is my doom.  Do you know who I am? HENRY    No, I do not. I should say you were the Lady of the Lake, or Little Sallie Waters. GHOST    You are a witty man for your years. HENRY    Well, my humor is drier than yours ever will be. GHOST    No doubt - I am never dry.  I am the Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall, and dryness is a quality entirely beyond my wildest hope.  I have been the incumbent of this highly unpleasant office for two hundred years tonight. HENRY    How the deuce did you ever come to get elected? GHOST    [matter of fact]  Suicide.  I am the ghost of that fair maiden whose picture hangs over the mantelpiece in the drawing room. LESLIE    [v.o.] That lovely early Georgian piece?  Or do I mean Jacobean? EDWARD    [v.o.] Take down a memorandum - draw a mustache on her at the earliest opportunity. GHOST    Had I lived, I should have been your great-great-great-great-great-aunt. HENRY    But what induced you to get this house into such a predicament? GHOST    It was my father's fault.  It was he who built Harrowby Hall, and the haunted chamber was to have been mine.  My father had it furnished in pink and yellow, knowing well that blue and gray formed the only combination of colours I could tolerate. HENRY    And...? GHOST     He did it merely to spite me, and I declined to live in the room.  Whereupon father said I could live there or on the lawn, he didn't care which.  That night I ran from the house and jumped over the cliff into the sea. EDWARD    [v.o.] That was rash. LESLIE    [v.o.] Dying over pink and yellow?  I should say so.  Green and orange, perhaps. EDWARD    [v.o.] But only if one is Irish. GHOST    Had I but known the consequences, I should not have jumped. HENRY    A bit late for hindsight.  GHOST    I had been drowned a week when I was informed it would be my doom to haunt Harrowby Hall.   LESLIE    [v.o.] Informed?  Informed by whom?  EDWARD    [v.o.] Hmm.  Never considered it.  The local union of apparations, phantoms and sundry visitations? HENRY    I'll sell the place. EDWARD    [v.o.] Sound thinking. GHOST    That you cannot do, for it is also required of me that I shall appear to any purchaser, and divulge to him the awful secret of the house. LESLIE    [v.o.] Snap!  HENRY    Do you mean to tell me that on every Christmas eve you are going to haunt me wherever I may be, ruining my whiskey and extinguishing my fire?  And soaking me through to the skin? GHOST    You have stated the case clearly, Oglethorpe.  And what is more - it doesn't make the slightest difference where you are.  If I find that room empty, wherever you may be I shall douse you with my spectral pres-- SOUND    CLOCK STRIKES ONE LESLIE    [v.o.] "Here the clock struck one, and immediately the apparition faded away. It was perhaps more of a trickle than a fade, but as a disappearance it was complete" HENRY    By St. George and his Dragon!  It is guineas to hot-cross buns that next Christmas there'll be an occupant of that room, or I shall spend the night in a bathtub! EDWARD    [v.o. fading to normal]  He would have lost that bet.  That was last year, and this year, he passed away just in time to avoid the deluge. LESLIE    And you didn't know, and we are now caught up to the present. EDWARD    [sigh] But for the bill for the ballroom.   MUSIC   SCENE 4.    TEA LYDIA    So glad you could accommodate me for tea, Edward.  I've not returned to society yet, and I'm getting sick to the teeth of a house covered in black crepe. EDWARD    Ah. LYDIA    Your father positively loathed black. EDWARD    Ah. LYDIA    And I loathe crepe.  I've developed quite a mental aversion to it.  I don't supposed a doctor could furnish me with some sort of prescription? EDWARD    I doubt it.  Mourning is mourning, mother.  And you are hardly the only one inconvenienced by father's untimely demise. LYDIA    [slightly amused] Ah, yes I heard. EDWARD    You might have sent a wire or something.  LYDIA    I was rather preoccupied.  So, now that you are the Baron, am I to expect the pitter-patter of little feet in the great hall any time soon? EDWARD    I could get you some corgis. LYDIA    Hush.  You know very well what I mean!  It is your responsibility to produce an heir and a spare, particularly now that you are effectively the last of the line. EDWARD    Hmm...  [chuckle] It would be funny to find out who gets haunted, should I die early. LYDIA    I should say not! EDWARD    Anyway, after my very public unmasking as the bearer of an ancestral curse, there's hardly a family worth knowing that would want me as a graft to the family tree. LYDIA    There's always some rich American.  they'll even pay extra for such a heritage! EDWARD    [laughing ruefully] While an American won't bat an eye at a spectre or two, true - threaten them with a waterlogged poiret [pwah-RAY] or patou [pah-TOO], and they flee in panic, clutching their pocketbooks. LYDIA    OH.  Yes, I see. EDWARD    So I'm down to shop assistants and ladies who speak no English. SOUND    DOOR OPENS, LESLIE ENTERS BRISKLY LESLIE    Here's your correspondence for the day-- oh.  I'm so dreadfully sorry.  I wasn't aware -- I don't have any engagements on your calendar for this afternoon. EDWARD    Miss Widdrington, may I present my mother, the Dowager Baroness of Harrowby.  Mother, my new secretary.  LYDIA    [a bit snotty] Charmed. LESLIE    [overly subservient, almost goofy] I'll be in the study, then, sir, should you need me.  If I may excuse myself? EDWARD    [equally over the top] Dismissed. SOUND    LESLIE LEAVES LYDIA    Who is she? EDWARD    My secretary. LYDIA    Widdrington.  Widdrington.  Any relation to the Haversham Widdringtons? EDWARD    [offhanded] Poor relation.  Quite destitute. LYDIA    [musing] Still.  She's got a good back.  Does she ride? MUSIC   SCENE 5.    STUDY SOUND    DOOR OPENS LESLIE    So sorry about that-- EDWARD    You couldn't have known. LESLIE    It's dreadfully easy to fall into old habits. EDWARD    Old? LESLIE    I wasn't always "how you see me now."  Impoverished.  I was polished at the finest schools, only to find that the family coffer had been tapped out to pay death duties and father's debts.  And that, as they say, was that. EDWARD    At least you're not bitter. LESLIE    Oh you should have heard me a year ago.  I would have blistered a sailor's ears. EDWARD    And now? LESLIE    [pleased] Now, I am employed.  EDWARD    And you don't mind? LESLIE    Well I'm also intrigued by your dilemma - most particularly because it's not my own. EDWARD    [laughs]   LESLIE    But today's problem is your social calander. EDWARD    oh?  More cancellations? LESLIE    Every dinner party, every engagement for the opera, every ball. EDWARD    Everything that might possibly involve late nights, in other words. LESLIE    Precisely.  But there are still afternoon teas, ascot, and a tentative engagement for croquet. EDWARD    [sulky] Suddenly I'm an elderly uncle. MUSIC - CHRISTMAS   SCENE 6.    NEXT YEAR SOUND    DRIPPING SOUND    STEAM HISS SOUND    DOOR OPENS LESLIE    Time? EDWARD    [sigh]  Yes. SOUND    HUGE SWOOSH OF WATER EDWARD    [disgusted sigh] LESLIE    I brought some heated towels. EDWARD    I am par-broiled.  I'll need more than towels! MUSIC   SCENE 7.    STUDY SOUND    DOOR OPENS, FABRIC RUBS LESLIE    Check off steam pipes. EDWARD    Yes.  Just turned her from cold water to hot.  The Turkish baths for the past month seem to have helped a bit, but on the whole, it was‑‑ [searching for the right word] LESLIE    [teasing] A washout? EDWARD    Oh, please don't. LESLIE    [apologetic] Sorry.  I thought that since steam-pipes could lie hundreds of feet deep in water, and still retain sufficient heat to drive the water away in vapor, they might‑‑ EDWARD    [cutting her off] It was a good sight better than any of my ideas.   Trying to evaporate the ghost into steam. LESLIE    Now you have a year to plan.  Again. EDWARD    I don't know.  I doubt my health can take another such night.  And the room is destroyed.  Again.  Anything not simply soaked through has been cracked and warped to an extent that I've no doubt it will break me to repair. LESLIE    Heat can do terrible things.  Tea. SOUND    POURS EDWARD    [sips]  Worst of all, as the last drop of the water ghost was slowly sizzling itself out on the floor, she whispered that this scheme would avail me nothing, because-- GHOST    There is always water in great plenty where I come from, and next year will find me rehabilitated and as exasperatingly saturating as ever. EDWARD    She will always be wet.  So I must somehow be dry... MUSIC   SCENE 8.    CASTLE SOUND    TEA SOUND    CONSTRUCTION [OFF] MOTHER    Must they be so loud? EDWARD    At least I can tell they're working.  MOTHER    So it happened again? EDWARD    You can't be surprised.  You had to go through it, didn't you?  With father? MOTHER    Oh, no.  No, I didn't even know about it for quite years. EDWARD    How the devil? MOTHER    Language. EDWARD    I'll devil as I please, until I get what I want. MOTHER    When your father inherited the title - after his father died of pneumonia, as I recall. EDWARD    [sarcasm] Imagine. MOTHER    Hush.  It was in the spring, and Henry somehow managed to pick a dreadful quarrel with me - something that sent me flying home to mother for the holidays. EDWARD    Truly?  That was clever. MOTHER    And I believe there was a year where he had to take a business trip. EDWARD    to the tropics, by any chance? MOTHER    May very well have been.  I believe I spent the holidays with my sister, in town. EDWARD    And he kept this up for years and years? MOTHER    Well you were away at school for much of this.  EDWARD    No wonder he never had me home for the winter holidays.  I was rather bereft at the time. MOTHER    We sent presents. EDWARD    Much appreciated, but-- MOTHER    So - what are you doing about this? EDWARD    I tried steam pipes.  SOUND    CRASH EDWARD    That's what they are engaged in repairing upstairs at the moment, and-- MOTHER    Not that!  What are you doing about providing me with a brace of grandchildren to brighten my declining years? EDWARD    Oh, that.  [sigh] MUSIC     SCENE 9.    STUDY SOUND    TEARING PAPER - letter opening. LESLIE    Hmm.  Catalog of some sort?  [gasp, the laughing a bit]  oh-ho. SOUND    DOOR OPENS EDWARD    What's the joke? LESLIE    [arch] A catalog of gentlemen's garments? EDWARD    Hmm? LESLIE    In the finest quality india rubber? EDWARD    Oh that!  Uhhhhh... It's not what you-- LESLIE    I would assume they're for waterproofing, except that many of them seem to be ... excised in certain locations. EDWARD    Skip to the back.  They assured me there would be more... complete... units. SOUND    PAGES FLIP LESLIE    Ah.  So you're thinking--? EDWARD    If I can't keep the room dry, at least I might be able to keep my person insulated. LESLIE    If you were to wear one of these over something in wool, perhaps? EDWARD    Mm.  I would start to look like a child in swaddling. LESLIE    Better swaddled than soaked. EDWARD    True. LESLIE    And it would be warm, even if wet.  EDWARD    Wouldn't want to get cold.  I might -- [idea]  oh! LESLIE    Oh? EDWARD    I've got it! LESLIE    Do tell? EDWARD    Order me one of those - a size bigger than my suits, and in their thickest rubber.  Then another two sizes larger. LESLIE    Why? EDWARD    I'll let you guess.  I must go and consult a furrier. MUSIC   SCENE 10.    MONTAGE - PHONE CALLS LESLIE    That sounds like it will precisely fill the bill.  And everything is reinforced with asbestos?  Very good. EDWARD    You have the address to ship to?  Excellent.  I realize it will take a prodigious amount of power to maintain.  If necessary, I shall buy the power company!   LESLIE    Woolens.  Two sizes larger than I had originally inquired.  Yes - the warmest you have.  Oh, no, he likes it thick. EDWARD    No, no, the first set was quite satisfactory.  [annoyed] Please place my order and refrain from further comment on my proclivities! MUSIC   SCENE 11.    DRESSING ROOM SOUND    CHRISTMAS CAROLS PLAY LIGHTLY IN THE BACKGROUND SOUNDS    RUBBERY SQUEAKS AND RUSTLES AS SHE DRESSES HIM. EDWARD    I've come to hate that music. LESLIE    This may be the last time it calls to mind such misfortunes.  I've stitched the wool together at the waist.  Too bad your valet can be no help. EDWARD    He demanded this week off.  No wish to be anywhere in the entire country when the ghost arrives. LESLIE    Some people simply do not pay attention.  The ghost only makes a bother in a given vicinity for a given time. EDWARD    Logic has nothing to do with superstitious fear.  Let's see if the second rubber suit will go on. LESLIE    I've brought talc. EDWARD    You plan for everything, don't you? LESLIE    That's why you keep me around, though I must say you are the master planner here.  Fur, then rubber, then wool, and rubber again - she shan't be able to get a drop of her icy dampness near you! EDWARD    No, indeed.  Have you noticed, is it still snowing? LESLIE    There are great drifts on the windward side of the house, though the wind has died away. EDWARD    Excellent. LESLIE    When this is all over, you can focus on finding yourself a bride and satisfying your poor mother. EDWARD    [musing] Yes. LESLIE    Now the diving helmet.  SOUND    LARGE METAL PICKED UP MUSIC   SCENE 12.    MUD ROOM / PORCH SOUND    DOOR OPENS, HEAVY SQUEAKY RUBBER NOISES ENTER SOUND    CLOCK CHIMES TWELVE, DOOR SHUT IN THE MIDDLE OF IT SOUND    CAREFULLY SITTING DOWN EDWARD    [slightly canned throughout - in his diving helmet] Oh... that's a bit tight. SOUND    SQUEAK AS HE ADJUSTS EDWARD    [hums a bit] SOUND    BANGING OF DOORS, WIND, SPLASH EDWARD    Right on time. GHOST    Greetings.  You must know you cannot avoid me by hiding here in - in - what is this room, anyway? EDWARD    It is called a mud room, and I'm not hiding.  In fact, I'm glad to see you. GHOST    You are the most original man I've met, if that is true.  And what an odd hat! EDWARD    It is a little portable observatory I had made for just such engagements as this. SOUND    CLUNK ON HELMET EDWARD    Is it true that you are doomed to follow me for one mortal hour -- to stand where I stand, to sit where I sit? GHOST    That is my detestable fate. EDWARD    Let's go for a walk, then. GHOST    You cannot get rid of me that way!  My water does not wear out with movement of any sort.  I will merely damage more of your home. EDWARD    Then we will not walk through the house.  Come along. SOUND    SQUEAKING, FOOTSTEPS SOUND    DRIPPING SQUISHES FOLLOW SOUND    DOOR OPENS, SNOWSTORM, FEET INTO SNOW   SCENE 13.    OUTSIDE SOUND    XMAS MUSIC NEARBY FROM INSIDE GHOST    But, my dear sir!  It is fearfully cold out there!  You shall be frozen hard before you've been out ten minutes. EDWARD    Not I!  I am very warmly dressed. Come along! SOUND    SNOWSTORM GETS LOUDER TO SHOW TIME SOUND    MUSIC IS FARTHER AWAY GHOST    Oh sir!  You walk too slowly!  I am nearly frozen. EDWARD    Is that so.  Hmm. GHOST    My knees are so stiff now I can hardly move. I beseech you to accelerate your step. EDWARD    I should like to oblige a lady, but my clothes are rather heavy, and a hundred yards an hour is about my top speed. Indeed, I think we would better sit down here on this snowdrift and talk matters over. GHOST    Do not! Do not do so, I beg!  Let us move along.  I feel myself growing rigid as it is. If we stop here, I shall be frozen stiff. EDWARD    [chuckles] That, madam, is precisely why I have brought you here. We have been on this spot just ten minutes; we have fifty more before your hour ends. Take your time about it, madam, but freeze, that is all I ask of you. GHOST    I cannot move my right leg now!  And my overskirt is a solid sheet of ice. Oh, good, kind Mr. Oglethorpe, light a fire, and let me go free from these icy fetters. EDWARD    Never, madam. I have you at last, and I plan to keep you! GHOST    Alas!  Help me, I beg. I congeal! EDWARD    Congeal, madam, congeal!  You have drenched me and mine for over two hundred years, madam. Tonight you have had your last drench. GHOST    Ah, but I shall thaw out again, and then you'll see. Instead of the comfortably tepid, genial ghost I have been in my past, sir, I shall be iced water! EDWARD    No, you won't, either!  For when you are frozen quite stiff, I shall send you to a cold-storage warehouse, and there you shall remain an icy work of art forever more. GHOST    But warehouses burn. EDWARD    So they do, but this warehouse cannot burn.  It is made of asbestos and surrounding it are fireproof walls. GHOST    For the last time let me beseech you. I would go on my knees to you, Oglethorpe, were they not already frozen. [freezing up] I beg of you do not doom me-- SOUND    DISTANT CLOCK STRIKES ONE SOUND    CRACKLE OF ICE SOUND    WIND RISES EDWARD    I do feel for you, miss.  But I feel for myself more. MUSIC   SCENE 14.    STUDY SOUND    PHONE HUNG UP LESLIE    Delivery was made, and all is well.  The room has been sealed, and that, as they say, is that. EDWARD    I'm almost at a loss. LESLIE    What?  Why? EDWARD    If you have an obstacle for such a long time, then it is gone, what can be left? LESLIE    Your mother still wishes for grandchildren. EDWARD    Now that "all good families" will have me over again? LESLIE    You are now not only rich and titled and eligible, you are also known to have single-handedly defeated an ancestral ghost.  You are quite the talk of the town.  Parents will be lining up to introduce their marriageable daughters to you. EDWARD    I think I can save them the trouble. LESLIE    What do you mean? EDWARD    There is something very alluring about a person who will stand by you through thick and thin. LESLIE    [oblivious] You're still upset that they wouldn't have anything to do with you while you were haunted? EDWARD    I shan't pay any mind to what they did.  Just what you did. LESLIE    Pardon? EDWARD    [teasing] Are you not interested in being the mistress of Harrowby Hall?  There is an opening in that position. LESLIE    [startled] Me?  Marry you? EDWARD    If not you, my next best option is to thaw out the ghost and make an honest woman of her.  I'm reasonably certain we're far enough removed that it would be legal. LESLIE    You're quite serious?  About me, not her. EDWARD    Of course.  About you, not her. LESLIE    Of course! CLOSER END  

Mystery Suspense Stories
The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall - John Kendrick Bangs

Mystery Suspense Stories

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 1, 2021 20:56


View our full collection of podcasts at our website: https://www.solgood.org/ or YouTube channel: www.solgood.org/subscribe

ghosts water bangs harrowby hall
Scary Stories - Daily Short Stories
The Water Chost of Harrowby Hall - John Kendrick Bangs - Daily Short stories - Ghost and Horror

Scary Stories - Daily Short Stories

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 26, 2021 21:24


View our full collection of podcasts at our website: https://www.solgood.org/ or YouTube channel: www.solgood.org/subscribe

Scary Stories - BINGE IT!
The Water Chost of Harrowby Hall - John Kendrick Bangs

Scary Stories - BINGE IT!

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 21, 2021 21:24


View our full collection of podcasts at our website: https://www.solgood.org/ or YouTube channel: www.solgood.org/subscribe

water bangs harrowby hall
The Haunted Horrorstorian
Outsmarting The Ghost of Harrowby Hall

The Haunted Horrorstorian

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 15, 2021 14:33


The week our Haunted Horrorstorian shares the chilling conclusion of The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/hauntedhorrorstorian/support

ghosts outsmarting harrowby hall
The Haunted Horrorstorian
The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall

The Haunted Horrorstorian

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 8, 2021 15:54


Join us this week for part 1 of the classic tail The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall by John Kendrick Bangs! ***Notice*** While we strive to maintain a certain level of entry for a variety of ages and sensitivities, this week's episode makes mention of suicide. Listener discretion is advised. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/hauntedhorrorstorian/support

ghosts water harrowby hall
19 Nocturne Boulevard
19 Nocturne Boulevard - THE CANTERVILLE GHOST - Reissue

19 Nocturne Boulevard

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 7, 2021 33:40


Adapted by Julie Hoverson from the story "The Canterville Ghost" by Oscar Wilde [Family friendly] In the late 1800s, an American family moves into an old English castle, only to find that the fixtures include an ancestral ghost... Cast List Sir Simon de Canterville - Cole Hornaday Lady Eleanor - Julie Hoverson Mr. Otis - Michael Faigenblum Mrs. Otis - Megan Lane Mrs. Umney - Lyndsey Thomas Washington - Jasper Loovis Virginia - Beverly Poole Cecil, Duke of Cheshire - Powers Chandler The Twins - E. Vickrey, R. LeBoeuf   Music:  Kevin MacLeod (Incompetech.com) Editing and Sound:   Julie Hoverson Cover Photo:  Peer Kamphuis (courtesy of Stock Xchange.com) "What kind of a place is it?  Why it's an Olde English Castle - where else would you find an ancestral spirit?" *********************************************************** The Canterville Ghost Who doesn't love the classic Oscar Wilde satire "The Canterville Ghost"?  It's a story about a traditional horrific British spirit haunting a traditional British Manor, who runs afoul of a very modern (for the late 1800s) American family who has no respect at all for tradition.  This has always been one of my two favorite classic comedic ghost stories, the other being "The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall", which I will probably get in here soon, just because of the season. I had so much fun adapting this, playing with the practical, unflappable, and often gormless Americans.  I did make one major change in the cast, which was not entirely original to me.  I added the ghost of Lady Canterville to pester and haunt Sir Simon - and also give him someone to rant to, complain at, and plan with, since otherwise all his best bits would either be pages of soliloquies or just left out (like they usually end up being left out when this story gets made into films).  I really really tried to keep as much of the descriptions of Sir Simon's various semblances and costumes in the dialogue as I could.  They're so much fun, along with the descriptions of whom he terrified with them.  I crammed it as full as possible, without going completely off the deep end. I recall when I was in grade school, I read a novelization someone had done based on The Canterville Ghost where they added Lady Canterville as a ghost, but I specifically didn't go back and find that book again before writing this, so I wouldn't accidentally usurp any other ideas from it - I have a good memory, but it has been decades since I read it (more then 2), so I should be pretty safe.  Including her is a logical step, anyway, since if HE haunts the house because he was murdered, why shouldn't SHE also haunt it because HE murdered HER? When I set about to cast this, I was still pretty much working with friends and locals, and not yet to the point of recruiting or auditioning people on line.  And while I knew I wanted Cole as Sir Simon  - and of course myself as Lady Eleanor, since I wrote the role for me (a big advantage of being a writer/producer), I had no particular idea who else I wanted in there.  So I got Beverly Poole (who was at the time in high school) and said "Cast all the living characters from your high school drama class."  In response, she rubbed her hands together gleefully (and a bit evilly), grinned, and said "Ooh!  The Power!" Of all the special effects in this story that were hard to make or find, considering it has rattling chains and moans and all the classic ghost noises, the most awkward turned out to be "knocking small bottle to floor" and "throwing pillow across room". *********************************************************** THE CANTERVILLE GHOST Cast: OLIVIA The English: Sir SIMON de Canterville, (300+) Ghost Lady ELEANOR de Canterville, (300+) his dead wife UMNEY, (60) housekeeper CECIL, (17) young Duke of Cheshire MOVER (any) The Americans: HIRAM Otis, (40) American Minister Lucretia OTIS (36) his wife WASHINGTON Otis, (18) know-it-all VIRGINIA Otis, (15) sweet young thing GROVER and OSCAR Otis, (12) the twins   NOTE:  The Americans are the classic annoying Americans of a previous century, very self-assured at all times and never bothered. OLIVIA     Did you have any trouble finding it?  What do you mean, what kind of a place is it?  Why, it's an English Castle, can't you tell?  Where else would you find an ancestral ghost?  MUSIC   SCENE 1.  MAIN HALL SOUND    HEAVY FOOTSTEPS, LOW MOAN OF EFFORT, HEAVY SOMETHING BEING DROPPED [play up as if a ghost, then] MOVER    Ow!  Leave off!  Now, on two... one-- [grunt of effort] SOUND     HEAVY FOOTSTEPS GO OFF.  THE OTIS FAMILY IS MOVING IN. HIRAM    [self satisfied]  Yes, that - that will do nicely. SOUND    SHARP FOOTSTEPS AMONG THE HUBBUB MRS. UMNEY    [nervous] Mr. Otis, Sir?  HIRAM    Yes, my good woman?  MRS. UMNEY    Sir, where are the Canterville portraits?  HIRAM    Those?  I'm returning them to his Lordship.  I'm quite sure he didn't mean them to go with the house.  They're rather ugly old gewgaws, to be perfectly frank.  Out with the old, in with the new. MRS. UMNEY    [muttered] These are the ugly new gewgaws, then? HIRAM    [didn't hear her] Hm? MRS. UMNEY    [louder] This is your family, then, sir? HIRAM    What is your name, my good woman? MRS. UMNEY    Mrs. Umney.  I've been housekeeper here at Canterville Hall for-- HIRAM    Oh, yes, we did take on all the fixtures.  Well, Madam, we Americans don't hold with all this "sir" nonsense.  You can call me Mister Otis, just like anyone else. MRS. UMNEY    [servile] Of course, Mr. Otis.  Certainly Mr. Otis. HIRAM    Stop with the curtseying, it's bad for your knees.  Ask my wife - she's campaigned against it, you know. MRS. UMNEY    That would be Lady - pardon - Mrs. Otis in the portrait with you? HIRAM    Yes - lovely woman, though she does tend to look a bit cross-eyed when she's forced to sit staring into a lens for time on end.  Still it's a lovely shot.  This is the children.  Washington, in back - he's even taller now.  Must remember to get another study taken.  They grow so fast, don't they? MRS. UMNEY    Yes sir.  Mr. Otis, sir. HIRAM    The twins, Oscar and Grover - like weeds, as well - are going to Eton.  They'll be home with us until the school year begins. MRS. UMNEY    And the young lady?  HIRAM    [with warmth]  Virginia.  She is just the perfect doll - smart as a whip.  Takes right after her mother that way.  And the way she rides - she raced old Lord Bilton twice round the park and won by a length and a half.  That Cecil [he prnounces it incorrectly, as SEEsel] fellow, Duke of Cheshire[chehSHYER], proposed for her on the spot, but they're both much too young, and we Americans don't hold much with titles. MRS. UMNEY    [muttered]  Tell that to the Vanderbilts.  [out loud]  And this must be... your father? HIRAM    [laughs uproariously]  Ho-ho!  No, that's President Cleveland, our country's leader.  You know, a bit like your British Queen Victoria, except that we choose ours.  [pause]  And they don't carry on quite so long. MRS. UMNEY    [disapproving] Ah. SOUND    DOOR OPENS, FOOTSTEPS ENTER MRS. OTIS    Dearest, can you do something with the twins, they've gone quite mad in the conservatory.  HIRAM    Boys will be boys.   SOUND    HIS FOOTSTEPS LEAVE, DOOR MRS. OTIS    Mrs. Umney, why what's the matter? MRS. UMNEY    Ma'am?  I'm ... just not used to your American ways, I expect.  MRS. OTIS    I'm so sorry for you.  Well.  SOUND    FOOTSTEPS START TO LEAVE, HESITATE MRS. OTIS     [suddenly remembering] Oh, there is something you could help with - there's a terrible stain near the fireplace in the library.  Would you be a dear and see that it gets cleaned up? MRS. UMNEY    [ominously]  The bloodstain? MRS. OTIS    How horrid!  I don't at all care for blood-stains in a library.  It cannot possibly be hygienic. MRS. UMNEY    [ghoulish, enjoying every minute] It is the blood of Lady Eleanor de Canterville, murdered on that very spot by her own husband, Sir Simon de Canterville, in 1575.  Sir Simon's guilty spirit still haunts the Chase, though HIS body has never been found.  [Umney clearly expects to scare her, but gets no response.] MRS. OTIS    It must be removed immediately-- MRS. UMNEY     The blood-stain has been much admired by tourists, and cannot be removed. MRS. OTIS    Nonsense.  [calling]  Washington!! MRS. UMNEY    [mood broken] What?  Ma'am? SOUND    THUNDERING FEET COMING DOWN STAIRCASE WASHINGTON    [entering] Yes, mother? MRS. OTIS    Do you have some of that new cleaning solution in your kit? WASHINGTON    [eager] Pinkerton's Champion Stain Remover and Paragon Detergent?  I'll fetch it directly. MRS. UMNEY    [trying to be spooky again] The blood stain cannot be cleaned, ma'am.  It is proven fact.  Many have tried.  Many more have faced the ghost and were never the same again. MRS. OTIS    Ah, but this is a patented formulation.  MUSIC   SCENE 2. SOUND    OUTSIDE.  TWO HORSES' HOOVES MOVING SLOWLY, AN OCCASIONAL WHINNY CECIL    I'm frightfully pleased you're so nearby, Miss Otis.  I mean, we can... go riding together... often. VIRGINIA    [she pronounces it correctly - seh-sel] Cecil.  Or... I'm so sorry, I've forgotten, what does one call a Duke? CECIL    It's Your Grace, but you needn't-- VIRGINIA    But I should at least KNOW.  And an Earl? CECIL    [quietly]  I would rather you thought of me as more than merely a tutor. VIRGINIA    [musing] How DO you keep them all straight?  [catching up] What? CECIL    [earnest]  You know how I feel. VIRGINIA    I also, which is why this is all particularly important.  Just in case... In case... [gasp] BOTH    [Take a breath, as if about to speak, or possibly kiss, then check themselves] [SLIGHT PAUSE AS THEY BOTH CALM DOWN A BIT, CLICK TO THE HORSES, ETC.] CECIL    Oh, Virginia, I hate the thought of you living in this blasted old pile. VIRGINIA    [pleased]  You called me Virginia. CECIL    My apologies, Miss Otis. VIRGINIA    Silly.  Cecil, I've been trying for ages to get you to call me--  [by my first name] CECIL    It's the ghost! VIRGINIA    The ghost's name is Virginia? CECIL    No.  Your father cannot have heard about it, or he'd never have put you in such danger.  VIRGINIA    While he's not actually against them, father generally avoids spirits.  [joke - "spirits" as in alcohol] CECIL    [ominously, admitting]  My own grand-uncle once bet a hundred guineas that he would play dice with the ghost, and was found the next morning on the floor of the card-room in such a paralytic state that, though he lived to a great age, he was never able to say anything but "Double Sixes." VIRGINIA    Backgammon, was it? CECIL    It isn't important!  It's simply not safe! MUSIC   SCENE 3. AMB    BEDROOM, GETTING READY FOR SLEEP MRS. OTIS    [exasperated] It's simply not safe, I tell you!  That housekeeper fainting all about the place - and all over cleaning up a silly bloodstain. HIRAM    Hmm... SOUND    RATTLE OF A PAGE TURNING IN A BOOK MRS. OTIS    What if it happens again?  What if she's holding crockery?  What do you do with a woman who faints? HIRAM    Yes, dear. MRS. OTIS    [sweetly] Dearest, your nose has fallen off. HIRAM    Oh, has it?  Good. MRS. OTIS    You're not listening to me! HIRAM    Gracious!  Do you hear that? MRS. OTIS    What, over the sound of my own voice?  Heaven forbid! HIRAM    Shh. SOUND    MUFFLED, AND SLOWLY GETTING CLOSER, HEAVY FOOTFALLS AND CHAINS RATTLING. THEY CONTINUE UNTIL NOTED HIRAM    Now that is just too much. SOUND    BEDCLOTHES FLUNG ASIDE, SLIPPERED FOOTSTEPS. HIRAM    We'll see about-- SOUND    DOOR IS FLUNG OPEN SOUND    HEAVY FOOTSTEPS AND CHAINS ARE NO LONGER MUFFLED.  SIMON    [off - low moaning] HIRAM    Now see here! SIMON    [moan interrupts] MRS. OTIS    [unworried, off] Is it the twins? HIRAM    I don't think so.  SIMON    [insistent ghostly moaning] HIRAM    No, it's certainly not the twins.  Hold it right there. SIMON    [moan interrupts quizzically] SOUND    SLIPPERED FOOTSTEPS, DRAWER PULLED OUT, RUMMAGING MRS. OTIS    Should I join you? HIRAM    No need.  Though he is quite a curiosity - looks like a scraggly old feller all done up in chains and ragged old-style clothes. SIMON    [off - moaning again, suppressed fury] HIRAM    Now where did I - Aha! SOUND    RUMMAGING STOPS, SLIPPERED FOOTSTEPS HIRAM     My dear sir, I really must insist on your oiling those chains, and I have brought you for that purpose a small bottle of the Tammany Rising Sun Lubricator.  SIMON    [moaning stops, grumpy noises] HIRAM    It is said to be completely efficacious upon one application, and there are several testimonials to that effect on the wrapper.  I shall leave it here for you, and will be happy to supply more, should you require it. SOUND    SMALL BOTTLE SET DOWN, LIGHT FOOTSTEPS, DOOR CLOSES DECISIVELY SIMON    [bellow of rage, then moaning until noted] SOUND    BOTTLE SLAPPED, ROLLS ACROSS TABLE, CLATTERS TO FLOOR. SOUND    TWO HEAVY FOOTSTEPS, HEAVY THUD ON WALL ACCOMPANIED BY CHAIN RATTLING OSCAR    Get em! SOUND    PILLOW FLIES THROUGH THE AIR, HITS THE WALL GROVER    Did I score? SIMON    [one last shriek, and out] OSCAR    Tsk. Nope. MUSIC    SPOOKY   SCENE 4. AMB     GHOST'S GARRET SOUND    AGITATED PACING, ROCKING CHAIR SIMON    [bellowing and outraged] A Pillow!  At my HEAD! ELEANOR    [complacent but needling]  I suppose it's a good thing you were wearing it, then. SIMON    Not if they'd hit me!  I'm not certain I fastened it on completely.  It's never been an issue! ELEANOR    You've gone without a challenge for far too long. SIMON    A challenge!!  A challenge!  Who needs a bloody challenge when I have you to torment me? ELEANOR    Every time you get frustrated you turn the argument on me.  If you didn't want me haunting you, you should've never killed me.  SIMON    Tcha! ELEANOR    Ruined my favorite bodice, as well. SIMON    Oh, your bloody bodice.  ELEANOR    Precisely. SIMON    Hush!  These ... people... Have no respect for artistry.  When I think back on the Dowager Duchess, frightened into a fit; the four housemaids, who went into hysterics when I merely grinned at them through the curtains; old Madame de Tremouillac, who woke to find me, as a skeleton, seated by the fire reading her diary, and was confined to her bed for six weeks with brain fever-- ELEANOR    [dry] Yes, yes, you're quite handy with the ladies. SIMON    Shut up, wife!  What about wicked Lord Canterville, whom I left choking on the knave of diamonds because he had cheated by means of that very card, so I made him swallow it.  That was justice! ELEANOR    Oh, yes, justice for men and torment for women.  So like a man.  What did poor Lady Stutfield, ever do to you?  You left her obliged to wear a black velvet band round her throat to hide the mark of five fingers burnt upon her white skin.  SIMON    [pleased]  She drowned herself at last in the carp-pond at the end of the King's Walk.  ELEANOR    Did she cheat at cards as well?  SIMON    [grudgingly]  No. ELEANOR    Admit it, you just like the attention.  Women are so much more -- SIMON    Biddable? ELEANOR    I was going to say demonstrative.  I know how you adore an appreciative audience.  Women are allowed hysterics, while men are limited to "good god!", a little gibbering, and then shooting themselves in the pantry.  There's simply not much in between. SIMON    [sulky]  Or offering you oil for your chains!  Oh, what impertinence!!  ELEANOR    What do you plan to do about it, my lord? SIMON    Aha!  I was thinking of reprising my costume as "Gaunt Gibeon, the Blood-sucker of Bexley Moor," and playing ninepins with my own bones upon the lawn-tennis ground.  ELEANOR    Perhaps Americans do not play ninepins? SIMON    No?  I think the point will not fail.  It is bones...  [thinking]  Or perhaps ... Oh, yes!  "Reckless Rupert, or the Headless Earl." ELEANOR    Oh, my lord.  You know that one takes hours to put on.  Do you even know where both horse pistols are? SIMON    Bah!  I am an artist.  I laugh at complex preparation.  [chuckling]  I haven't pulled out old Rupert for some fifty years-- ELEANOR    Seventy. SIMON    Seventy?  Really?  Where does time go?  [warming up again]  Not since the night I frightened pretty Lady Barbara and she broke off her engagement with Lord Canterville's grandfather, and ran away with Jack Castleton, declaring that nothing would induce her to marry into a family that allowed such a horrible phantom to walk up and down the terrace at twilight.  ELEANOR    [bored]  ...and then he was shot in a duel. SIMON    [running over her]  Poor Jack was afterwards shot in a duel by Lord Canterville ELEANOR    [bored]  You sound like the social pages. SIMON    [trying to drown her out] --and Lady Barbara died of a broken heart, so, in every way, it was a great success.  ELEANOR    Yes, yes, yes.  You recall I was present.  SIMON    I am merely reiterating-- ELEANOR    Reiterate away.  I shan't return until you are quite through. SIMON    Oh, if I only could believe that, I would never stop.  ELEANOR    Just as big fish eat little fish, my own good lord, ghosts are never truly alone. MUSIC   SCENE 5. SOUND    GENTEEL BREAKFAST NOISES MRS. UMNEY     [off, screams] VIRGINIA    Oh no! WASHINGTON    What? MRS. OTIS    Good gracious, she's at it again. HIRAM    I'll just go and see-- MRS. OTIS    No, no.  You finish your breakfast, Hiram, dear.  I shall see to the household. SOUND    WE FOLLOW HER AS SHE LEAVES THE ROOM, ENTERS THE LIBRARY MRS. UMNEY    [praying, slightly hysterical]  ...deliver us from evil for thine is the power and the glory-- MRS. OTIS    [coming on]  What is the matter now? MRS. UMNEY    [spoooooky]  Look!!!  The bloodstain!  I told you that it could never be removed! MRS. OTIS    [mildly bemused] Oh.  How unusual.  I wonder if there is a leak somewhere.  [calling] Washington? SOUND    EAGER FOOTSTEPS APPROACH WASHINGTON    Yes, Mother? MRS. OTIS    I thought you said you had dealt with this? WASHINGTON     Well, now doesn't that just take the cake? MRS. OTIS    Pray don't be vulgar. MRS. UMNEY    [muffled snort] VIRGINIA     [coming on]  What's going on? WASHINGTON    Mother, I give you my solemn oath - that stain was gone.  I guess I'll just have at it again. MUSIC    TIME PASSES   SCENE 6. SOUND    GENTEEL BREAKFAST NOISES [the blood stain keeps re-appearing, and they're finding it amusing] HIRAM    Shall we?  I made a particular point of locking the door last night, so there can be no chance of outside interference. MRS. OTIS    Yes, let's. SOUND    DOOR OPENS OSCAR    Me first! GROVER    No, me! SOUND    SCUFFLE, RUNNING FOOTSTEPS GROVER    It's back! MUSIC    TIME PASSES   SCENE 7. SOUND     RAIN, GENTEEL BREAKFAST NOISES WASHINGTON    [listing the colors the bloodstain has come back in] ...that's crimson, rust, burnt sienna, and maroon.  So far.  Anyone? HIRAM    Perhaps the color changes like leaves in the fall?  I think I shall lay odds on pumpkin. WASHINGTON    I am more inclined to believe, father, that there is a scientific basis for the inconsistent pigmentation.  Some chemical interaction between the nature of ectoplasm and Pinkerton's Champion Stain Remover.  All I need to do is find another, similar ghostly stain and compare the results. HIRAM    Sound thinking, my boy. MRS. OTIS    Well, I'm in the mood for a bright cherry red myself, on such a gray day.  Virginia? VIRGINIA    [subdued, almost sulky] I have no opinion on the matter. SOUND    DOOR SLAMS OPEN GROVER    It's green!! OSCAR    Emerald green! VIRGINIA    [very quiet wail, then going off]  Oh, no!   MUSIC   SCENE 8. AMB    GHOST'S GARRET SOUND    RUMMAGING THROUGH PILES OF CLOTHES SIMON    [off, muffled]  Have you seen my red slouch hat? ELEANOR    It is no longer my responsibility to look after your garments, husband. SIMON    Hmph.  SIMON    Which winding sheet do you think will be most effective, the ones with the ruffles at the cuffs, or the hideous brown stains? ELEANOR    My lord - those aren't your brown stains.  I believe a mouse has littered in your sheet. SIMON    Eugh.  SOUND    FABRIC FALLS TO FLOOR SIMON    Well, aren't you even curious?  I mean about what I intend to do? ELEANOR    Not really.  [sigh]  Pray enlighten me.  If you must. SIMON    You'll be singing a different tune when you hear-- ELEANOR    Begin, my lord - we haven't all day. SIMON    Very well.  [dramatic] See this rusty dagger? ELEANOR    Yay, verily.  One rusty dagger.  Noted. SIMON    [dramatic] I will make my way quietly to Washington Otis's room, you know Washington - the interfering knave who repeatedly cleans my bloody--  well... bloodstain. ELEANOR    My bloodstain.  Bright boy.  SIMON    Shush.  Here, you be Washington. ELEANOR    I haven't the height. SIMON    [angry] I mean, you stand in and I shall show you what I intend!  [back to glee] I will gibber at him from the foot of the bed, and stab myself - once, twice, thrice! - in the throat to the sound of low music.  Having reduced the reckless and foolhardy youth to a condition of abject terror...  [prompting] Terror! ELEANOR    [flat]  Oh, terror!  SIMON    [sigh]  I will proceed to the bedroom of the parents.  Now, you are Mrs. Otis. ELEANOR    To do that I shall have to secure some exceedingly plain underclothes. SIMON    [growl]  Woman!  I will place a clammy hand on Mrs. Otis's forehead-- ELEANOR    [flat]  Oh, clammy. SIMON    --while I hiss into her trembling husband's ear the awful secrets of the charnel-house.  ELEANOR    He'll probably tell you of some new patented method for charnelling.  I suppose that poor girl will get the worst of it, since she's the only one even a mite sympathetic? SIMON    I... [almost sheepish]  I ...don't think so.  She's done nothing at all to annoy me, even though she could easily... [he's been stealing her paints, as she mentions later - so she could unmask the bloodstain]  A few hollow groans from the wardrobe will suffice. ELEANOR    You're becoming soft in your old age. SIMON    I am merely saving my best efforts for [snarling] those wretched twins... ELEANOR    Shall I be one of them? SIMON    No need. ELEANOR    Oh, prithee my lord.  I wish to realize the full impact of your cunning plan. SIMON    Truly?  Well, go ahead then. ELEANOR    I shall be Grover.  He has the sweeter disposition. SIMON    Be whichever you wish to be, but be quiet!  [deep breath]  I will enter the room, in the form of a green, icy-cold corpse-- SOUND    WHOOSH THUMP OF A PILLOW ELEANOR    Ha-ha! [aping the twins' laughter] SIMON    WOMAN!!!! MUSIC    STING   SCENE 9. AMB    BALLROOM MUSIC    WALTZ CECIL    You are so brave.  And so lovely tonight. VIRGINIA    You dance divinely, Cecil, but this must be our last waltz, or people will talk.  CECIL    My cousin says your brother is an excellent partner as well.  VIRGINIA    Oh, yes.  He is well suited for diplomacy. CECIL    I wish we could dance all night and you never need return to that moldy old pile. VIRGINIA    Fainting aside, Mrs. Umney is a fine woman.  CECIL    Tomorrow is the anniversary of Lady Eleanor's death.  The ghost will certainly leap upon the propitious moment. MUSIC   SCENE 10. AMB    ECHOEY HALLWAY SIMON    [soliloquizing]  Ah!  The propitious moment!  The clock strikes the quarter-- SOUND    CLOCK STRIKES THE QUARTER SIMON    The moon hides her face behind a cloud.  All is in readiness, and the night holds its stygian breath.  SOUND    STEALTHY THUMPING FOOTSTEPS SIMON    And now Washington, screw your courage to the sticking point you may, but I shall have you unstuck!  [begins a moan] SOUND    TWO MORE STEPS SIMON    [moan become a shriek of fear] MUSIC   SCENE 11. AMB    PARENTS BEDROOM HIRAM    [snoring] MRS. OTIS    [waking up] Huh?  [matter of fact] Hiram!  Wake up! HIRAM    Yes, dearest? MRS. OTIS    Do you hear ...something? HIRAM    Is it that ghost fellow again?  [listens]  No, I cannot say I actually hear anything. MRS. OTIS    [already falling back] Hmm.  Must be the twins. HIRAM    [snoring] MUSIC   SCENE 12. AMB    GHOST'S GARRET SOUND    AGITATED PACING, ROCKING CHAIR THROUGHOUT ELEANOR    [flatly amused]  A ghost? SOUND    CRUMPLING OF PAPER IN SIMON'S HAND SIMON    [terrified]  YES!  A Ghost!  Its head was bald and burnished, its face round, and fat, and white.  From the eyes streamed rays of scarlet light, the mouth was a wide well of fire, and a hideous garment, much like mine own-- ELEANOR    Lacking the mouse insults. SIMON    --like to mine own, swathed its Titan form.  On its breast was a placard with strange writing in antique characters-- SOUND    RATTLE OF HEAVY PAPER SIMON    Doubtless some record of wild sins, some awful calendar of crime, some-- ELEANOR    Why not read it and see? SIMON    [voice cracking] See? ELEANOR    See what it says. SIMON    [hesitates]  No. ELEANOR    Why take it, then? SIMON    [mutters something] ELEANOR    Speak up, my lord. SIMON    [through gritted teeth] I found I had just clutched it as I left.  I have no need to know-- ELEANOR    Afraid? SIMON    AFRAID!  [unconvincing]  No. ELEANOR    Perhaps because he is the more terrifying ghost?  SIMON    Nonsense!  I have merely never chanced to SEE a ghost - except in a looking glass. ELEANOR    Give it me, ninny.  I shall read it. SIMON    You dare-- ELEANOR    I'll call you coward in an instant-- SIMON    I WILL READ IT!  [muttering as he reads, then a sound of outrage!] ELEANOR    So very wicked, my lord? SOUND    PAPER BEING VICIOUSLY CRUMPLED SIMON    [grim] Those damned children!  They made it! ELEANOR    Made a ghost?  I should have thought murder was a bit outside their purview. SIMON    AAArghh!!  SOUND    PAPER BEING SNATCHED AWAY ELEANOR    Argh, indeed.  [reading]  YE OTIS GHOSTE, Ye Onlie True and Originale Spook, Beware of Ye Imitationes.  All others are counterfeits.  SIMON    No more games!  [bellowing] When Chanticleer [rooster] has sounded twice his merry horn, deeds of blood will be wrought, and murder shall walk abroad with silent feet! ELEANOR    That would be you? SOUND    ROOSTER CROWS - ONCE. [PAUSE, WAITING] SIMON    [muttered]  Come on.  ELEANOR    Perhaps you should go frighten it. SIMON    [muttered]  Once more - for daddy. ELEANOR    It's not going to happen. SIMON    Nonsense, it always happens. ELEANOR    [pause]  Nay.  I hear nothing. SIMON    Perdition seize the naughty fowl, I have seen the day when, with my stout spear, I would have run him through the gorge, and made him crow for me an 'twere in death!  [a bit whiny]  Every time, throughout all known history, that such an oath has been sworn, chanticleer has sounded his blasted horn twice.  Where is its respect for tradition? ELEANOR    Perhaps, dear husband, it is an American rooster. MUSIC   SCENE 13. AMB    OUTSIDE SOUND    TWO HORSES REINING IN FROM A GALLOP VIRGINIA    [laughing]  I let you win! CECIL    [teasing]  Nonsense.  Good breeding. VIRGINIA    So your blue blood makes you faster? CECIL    Not mine.  The horse. VIRGINIA    [chuckles] SOUND    HORSES WALKING CECIL    Have you been well since I saw you last? VIRGINIA    Yes, very.  No ghost. CECIL    None? VIRGINIA    I warned everyone about the anniversary, but nothing - well - a turnip ghost was found in the upper hall, but I am quite certain that can be attributed to my brothers.  CECIL    How ... remarkable. VIRGINIA    Cecil, would you do me a tremendous favor? CECIL    Anything... Virginia. VIRGINIA    Would you--  Could you take my horse to the stable?  I fear I've torn my habit and want to get upstairs before anyone spies me.  MUSIC   SCENE 14. AMB    BACK HALLWAY SOUND    [OFF SLIGHTLY] LIGHT ECHOEY FOOTSTEPS SIMON    [gusty sigh] SOUND    [COMING ON] FOOTSTEPS CONTINUE VIRGINIA    Hello?  [gasp]  You! SIMON    [gasp] You! VIRGINIA    [anticipating being scared]  Ahh! [pause, nothing happens, confused]  Oh! SIMON    Pfft.  Don't fret yourself, girl.  I cannot seem to gather myself for the effort.  This is the one room where I can truly be alone.  My wife haunts me in every other chamber. VIRGINIA    Should I leave you--? SIMON    Stay a moment. [overly casual]  If you wish. VIRGINIA    My brothers are going back to Eton tomorrow, and if you behave, no one will annoy you. SIMON    Behave myself?  Absurd.  I must rattle my chains and walk about at night.  It is my only reason for existing. VIRGINIA    That is no reason at all.  SIMON    Why else would I be here? VIRGINIA    Mrs. Umney told us - you killed your wife. SIMON    It was purely a family matter.  My wife was very plain, never had my ruffs properly starched, and knew nothing about cookery.  VIRGINIA    [adamant] It is very wrong to kill anyone. SIMON    Oh?  Her brothers starved me to death.  VIRGINIA    Oh, Mr. Ghost -- I mean Sir Simon - I have a sandwich in my case, would you like it? SIMON    I never eat anything now; [beat, softening] but it was very kind of you.  You are much nicer than your horrid, rude, vulgar, dishonest family. VIRGINIA    Stop it!  It is you who are rude, and horrid, and... and as for dishonesty!  You stole my paints for your ridiculous bloodstain.  First you took all my reds and I couldn't do sunsets, then it just got ridiculous - who ever heard of emerald-green blood?  SIMON    [meek, sulky]  What was I to do?  It is very difficult to get real blood.  Your brother began it all with his Paragon Detergent, so I saw no reason why I should not have your paints.  VIRGINIA    [annoyed, decisive]  Good evening!  I will go and ask papa to get the twins an extra week's holiday. SIMON    Please!  Don't go, Miss Virginia.  I am so unhappy, and I really don't know what to do.  I want to sleep and I cannot. VIRGINIA    That's quite absurd!  It is very difficult sometimes to keep awake, especially at church, but even babies know how to sleep, and they are not very clever. SIMON    I have not slept for three hundred years, and I am so tired. VIRGINIA    Have you no place where you can sleep? SIMON    [wistful]  Hmm.  Far away beyond the pine-woods, there is a little garden.  The grass grows long and deep, with great white stars of hemlock flower, and the nightingale sings all night long.  The cold crystal moon looks down, and the yew-tree spreads out its giant arms over the sleepers. VIRGINIA    [awed]  You mean the Garden of Death. SIMON    Yes, death.  Death must be so beautiful.  To lie in the soft brown earth, and listen... to silence.  To have no yesterday, no to-morrow, to be at peace.  [eager] You must help me.  You can open for me the portals of death's house, for love is always with you, and love is stronger than death.  VIRGINIA    How could I--? SIMON    You must weep with me for my sins, because without remorse, I have no tears; and pray with me for my soul, because I have no faith.  Then, perhaps, the angel of death will have mercy on me.  [pauses, waiting, then sighs in despair] VIRGINIA    [deep breath, courageous but shaky]  I am not afraid, and I will ask the angel to have mercy on you. MUSIC - LONGER   SCENE 15. AMB    FRONT HALL HIRAM    Virginia is nowhere to be found.  Even the [rustics] are helping search for her.  Washington, my boy?  [confidential]  The fish-pond? WASHINGTON    Nothing. HIRAM    Good.  Don't tell your mother we checked.  The poor woman is already nearly prostrate. CECIL    It is the ghost.  I know it!  He was jealous of our happiness and spirited her away!  If only you had allowed our engagement, sir, none of this would have-- HIRAM    Balderdash, Cecil [mispronounced see-sul].  First thing in the morning, I will engage Scotland Yard-- SOUND    CLOCK STRIKES TWELVE - LOUD CRASH SOUND    VIRGINIA STEPS OUT OF A SECRET DOOR CECIL    Virginia! HIRAM    Goodness Gracious! WASHINGTON    [excited] A secret door! HIRAM    Good heavens! child, where have you been?  Cecil and I have been riding all over the country looking for you, and your mother has been frightened to death.  VIRGINIA    I have been with the ghost. CECIL    [rather melodramatic gasp]  How did you escape? VIRGINIA    Oh, Cecil, he is at peace, now.  He had been very wicked, but he was really sorry for all that he had done, and now-- [almost a sob] SOUND    DOOR FLUNG OPEN, FOOTSTEPS MRS. OTIS    My own darling!  Thank God you are found; you must never leave my side again!  [mmm - like a big hug, then] What is this? VIRGINIA    Sir Simon gave me this box before he died. WASHINGTON    But he's been dead for centuries. VIRGINIA    Only half dead, I think, would be more accurate.  Now he's entirely dead.  Finally able to sleep. GROVER    What's in the box? OSCAR    Yeah!  Open it! HIRAM    Your sister can open the box or not as she pleases.  She's not to be ordered around by monkeys like you two. SOUND    SMALL WOODEN BOX OPENS MRS. OTIS    Goodness!  MRS. UMNEY    The long-lost Canterville jewels!  Aaah. SOUND    BODY DROP MRS. OTIS    [exasperated sigh] She's fainted again. MUSIC   SCENE 16. AMB    VIRGINIA'S BEDROOM SOUND    GENTLE GIRLISH SNORING ELEANOR    [coming on, exasperated ghostly groans] SOUND    LADYLIKE CHAINS VIRGINIA    [waking] Huh?  Sir Simon? ELEANOR    [somewhat annoyed] No.  You've seen to that, so now I have nothing better-- VIRGINIA    Are you Lady Eleanor? ELEANOR    [surprised] Yes.  He-- he told you--? VIRGINIA    He gave me something for you.  SOUND    DRAWER PULLS OUT VIRGINIA    There. ELEANOR    A handkerchief? VIRGINIA    Open it. ELEANOR    But there's nothing-- VIRGINIA    Look closer. ELEANOR    A spot? VIRGINIA    A tear. ELEANOR    [stunned]  He ... cried--? VIRGINIA    He said he was very sorry for having killed you.  ELEANOR    [skeptical] Oh?  He did, did he? VIRGINIA    And for ruining your best bodice. ELEANOR    [believing] Oh! VIRGINIA    He hoped you could forgive him now and move on as well.  He wants you to join him, where the nightingales sing, and he can give you a bouquet of white flowers. ELEANOR    Yes.  [sigh]  I could do with some sleep.  MUSIC - rise and out CLOSER OLIVIA    Now that you know how to find us, don't be a stranger - we have enough of those already...    

Campfire Classics Podcast
Sir Johnny Bangs (Season 2, Episode 1)

Campfire Classics Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 27, 2021 69:11


Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!! It's the season 2 premiere! Which really means nothing more than we're restarting the episode count because it feels cool. This week, Heather has selected a story for Ken to read by an author unknown to either of our hosts before this reading.  His name was John Kendrick Bangs, and he might have invented an adult film genre.  Or possibly just ghost story sub-genre.  You know it's hard to tell sometimes.  Regardless, the story is called The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall: A Victorian Christmas Spirit Story," and Ken gives a pretty good effort at reading it. Along the way, the hosts ask: Whose job is it to get things wet? How would you deal with a ghost? And who would you curse with perpetual mildew? "The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall" was the titular story in the 1894 collection The Water Ghost, and Others. Remember to tell five friends to check out Campfire Classics. Now sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

bangs harrowby hall
Voices of Today
Humorous Ghost Stories sample

Voices of Today

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 14, 2021 4:46


The complete audio book is available for purchase at Audible.com: https://adbl.co/3tXuJRl Humorous Ghost Stories Collected and edited by Dorothy Scarborough Narrated by Susan Iannucci, Marty Krz, Jennifer Fournier and John Burlinson Dorothy Scarborough (1878 - 1935) was an academic and author who had a particular interest in the supernatural. The following collection, first published in 1921, features stories which have a strong comical or satirical focus. In the introduction the anthologist notes: The modern spook is possessed not only of humor but of a caustic satire as well. His jest is likely to have more than one point to it, and he can haunt so insidiously, can make himself so at home in his host's study or bedroom that a man actually welcomes a chat with him—only to find out too late that his human foibles have been mercilessly flayed. 1. Introduction: The Humorous Ghost by Dorothy Scarborough 2. The Ghost-Extinguisher by Gelett Burgess 3. The Transferred Ghost by Frank R. Stockton 4. The Mummy's Foot by Théophile Gautier 5. The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall by John Kendrick Bangs 6. Back from that Bourne by Anonymous 7. The Ghost-Ship by Richard Middleton 8. The Transplanted Ghost by Wallace Irwin 9. The Last Ghost in Harmony by Nelson Lloyd 10. The Ghost of Miser Brimpson - Part 1 by Eden Phillpotts 11. The Ghost of Miser Brimpson - Part 2 by Eden Phillpotts 12. The Ghost of Miser Brimpson - Part 3 by Eden Phillpotts 13. The Haunted Photograph by Ruth McEnery Stuart 14. The Ghost that Got the Button by Will Adams 15. The Specter Bridegroom by Washington Irving 16. The Specter of Tappington - Part 1 by Richard Barham 17. The Specter of Tappington - Part 2 by Richard Barham 18. In the Barn by Burges Johnson 19. A Shady Plot by Elsie Brown 20. The Lady and the Ghost by Rose Cecil O'Neill

Sandkastenspiele
Sandfox plaudert - Warum Horror das tollste Genre von allen ist (mit Kaid)

Sandkastenspiele

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 12, 2020


Horror - das tollste Genre von allen.Und an welchem Tag des Jahres kann man den Schrecken besser feiern als an Halloween?     Von daher möchten Kaid und ich dich heute in die Nacht hinein begleiten mit einer Unterhaltung darüber, was Horror zu so einem faszinierenden Genre macht.Außerdem erzählen wir dir, welche Bücher, Filme und Rollenspiele uns besonders begeistert haben.Vielleicht ist ja auch das eine oder andere für dich dabei (die entsprechenden Links, und zwar jede Menge davon, findest du unter dem Podcast). Ich wünsche dir auf jeden Fall viel Spaß bei der neusten Folge von Sandfox plaudert:Sandfox plaudert - Folge 4 - Warum Horror das tollste Genre von allen ist (mit Kaid)Du findest mich im Web unter:http://www.ralf-sandfuchs.de https://sandkastenspiele.blogspot.dehttps://www.facebook.com/Sandfox.infound per E-Mail unter mail@ralf-sandfuchs.de Die Musik aus dem Podcast ist eine gekürzte Fassung des Tracks Funny Horror von Andrey Sitkov, lizensiert unter den Humble Big Music Bundle for Games, Films, and Content Creators - License Terms. Das Titelbild dieses Podcasts stammt von Mojca J auf Pixabay.Unsere Empfehlungen und einiges andere: Fantasyfilmfest: http://www.fantasyfilmfest.com/Filme:AlienBis das Blut gefriert Come to DaddyDas Geisterschloss Das Schweigen der Lämmer DeathgasmCemetery Man - Dellamorte Dellamore Der Omega-Mann  Die Mächte des WahnsinnsDraculaEvent HorizonGhostbustersHellraiserHostel I am LegendIch bin Legende (The last man on Earth)MaggieMiseryPitch Black  Psycho Saw Shaun of the DeadSiebenSpuk in Hill House (Netflix-Serie)Tanz der Vampire The Eye Train to Busan Twilight Warm bodies - Zombies mit Herz Zombie - Dawn of the Dead 5 Zimmer Küche Sarg Bücher:Dean Koontz - Odd ThomasF. Paul Wilson - Handyman Jack 1 - Die Gruft John Hornor Jacobs - Southern Gods (Englisch) Kim Newman - An English Ghost Story (Englisch) Matt Ruff - Lovecraft Country Neil Gaiman - American GodsNeil Gaiman - NiemalslandRichard Matheson - Ich bin Legende  Shirley Jackson - Spuk in Hill HouseStephen King - ChristineStephen King - EsStephen King - ShiningStephen King - Sie (Misery) Gustav Meyrink - Des deutschen Spießers Wunderhorn Das Wassergespenst von Harrowby Hall Die BronzetürDie GeisterkoggeDie Hexenesche Hörspiele:Edgar Allan Poe GruselkabinettF. Paul Wilson - Handyman Jack 1 - Die Gruft Comics:Dylan DogKurosagi Corpse Delivery Service Rollenspiele:Blood CthulhuDread EpochKULT - Divinity LostSeelenfängerTen Candles  Unknown Armies

Stories
Short Ghost Story Collection 2: The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall

Stories

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 1, 2020 22:19


Short Ghost Story Collection 2

RADIO FREE BURRITO dot COM
Radio Free Burrito Presents: The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall by John Kendrick Bangs

RADIO FREE BURRITO dot COM

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 14, 2020


Today’s reading is a satirical Victorian ghost story from the 1890s. Found at Project Gutenberg: www.gutenberg.org/cache/epub/8377/…8377-images.html

Audio Stories of The Paranormal
Christmas Ghost Stories and Mysteries

Audio Stories of The Paranormal

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 24, 2018 48:33


In this episode we take a look at the 1945 Christmas mystery of the five missing Sodder children in Did They Go Up in Smoke? Then we narrate six personal experience with ghost at Christmas from Community members; The First Sleep Over by Gene T., Mabey It Was Jam-me by Wendy M., The Christmas Travelers by Craig F., Ouija Board for Christmas by Julie C., The Things Kids Say by Mike M., and The In-Laws House Alicia W. Finally we end this episode with a humorous Victorian Ghost Story The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall.Visit Audio Stories of the Paranormal https://www.TheAudioStories.com

Audio Stories of The Paranormal
Christmas Ghost Stories and Mysteries

Audio Stories of The Paranormal

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 24, 2018 48:33


In this episode we take a look at the 1945 Christmas mystery of the five missing Sodder children in Did They Go Up in Smoke? Then we narrate six personal experience with ghost at Christmas from Community members; The First Sleep Over by Gene T., Mabey It Was Jam-me by Wendy M., The Christmas Travelers by Craig F., Ouija Board for Christmas by Julie C., The Things Kids Say by Mike M., and The In-Laws House Alicia W. Finally we end this episode with a humorous Victorian Ghost Story The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall.Visit Audio Stories of the Paranormal https://www.TheAudioStories.com

More Ghost Stories
The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall

More Ghost Stories

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 19, 2018 23:08


The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall by John Kendrick Bangs and read by John Taylor. This story is about a spooky recurring Christmas tradition in one family. Visit More Ghost Stories at https://www.moreghoststories.com --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/moreghoststories/support

StoryLink Radio
THE CHRISTMAS EVE WATER GHOST OF HARROWBY HALL

StoryLink Radio

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 16, 2018 21:46


READ ALONG WITH STORY AT: www.StoryLinkRadio.com The owners of Harrowby Hall had done their utmost to rid themselves of the damp and dewy lady who rose up out of the best bedroom floor at midnight, but without avail. They had tried stopping the clock, so that the ghost would not know when it was midnight; but she made her appearance just the same, with that fearful miasmatic personality of hers, and there she would stand until everything about her was thoroughly saturated.

StoryLink Radio
THE WATER GHOST OF HARROWBY HALL

StoryLink Radio

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 22, 2017 21:46


READ ALONG WITH STORY AT: www.StoryLinkRadio.com The owners of Harrowby Hall had done their utmost to rid themselves of the damp and dewy lady who rose up out of the best bedroom floor at midnight, but without avail. They had tried stopping the clock, so that the ghost would not know when it was midnight; but she made her appearance just the same, with that fearful miasmatic personality of hers, and there she would stand until everything about her was thoroughly saturated.

Austin's Annual Halloween Spook-tacular!
NewsBlas 24 October 2014: The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall (Part V of V, read by Vincent Price)

Austin's Annual Halloween Spook-tacular!

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 24, 2014


NewsBlas 24 October 2014: The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall (Part V of V, read by Vincent Price) A Hornbook for Witches by Leah Bodine Drake (1950) Read by Vincent Price Taken from the LP released by Caedmon Records in 1976. https://ia601508.us.archive.org/1/items/NewsBlas29October2014/NewsBlas24October2014.mp3   Mother Box 039

Austin's Annual Halloween Spook-tacular!
NewsBlas 23 October 2014: The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall (Part IV of V, read by Vincent Price)

Austin's Annual Halloween Spook-tacular!

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 23, 2014


NewsBlas 23 October 2014: The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall (Part IV of V, read by Vincent Price) A Hornbook for Witches by Leah Bodine Drake (1950) Read by Vincent Price Taken from the LP released by Caedmon Records in 1976. https://ia601508.us.archive.org/1/items/NewsBlas29October2014/NewsBlas23October2014.mp3   Mother Box 038

Austin's Annual Halloween Spook-tacular!
NewsBlas 22 October 2014: The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall (Part III of V, read by Vincent Price)

Austin's Annual Halloween Spook-tacular!

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 22, 2014


NewsBlas 22 October 2014: The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall (Part III of V, read by Vincent Price) A Hornbook for Witches by Leah Bodine Drake (1950) Read by Vincent Price Taken from the LP released by Caedmon Records in 1976. https://ia801508.us.archive.org/1/items/NewsBlas29October2014/NewsBlas22October2014.mp3   Mother Box 037

Austin's Annual Halloween Spook-tacular!
NewsBlas 21 October 2014: The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall (Part II of V, read by Vincent Price)

Austin's Annual Halloween Spook-tacular!

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 21, 2014


NewsBlas 21 October 2014: The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall (Part II of V, read by Vincent Price) A Hornbook for Witches by Leah Bodine Drake (1950) Read by Vincent Price Taken from the LP released by Caedmon Records in 1976. https://ia801508.us.archive.org/1/items/NewsBlas29October2014/NewsBlas21October2014.mp3   Mother Box 036

Austin's Annual Halloween Spook-tacular!
NewsBlas 20 October 2014: The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall (Part I of V, read by Vincent Price)

Austin's Annual Halloween Spook-tacular!

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 20, 2014


NewsBlas 20 October 2014: The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall (Part I of V, read by Vincent Price) A Hornbook for Witches by Leah Bodine Drake (1950) Read by Vincent Price Taken from the LP released by Caedmon Records in 1976. https://ia801508.us.archive.org/1/items/NewsBlas29October2014/NewsBlas20October2014.mp3   Mother Box 035

Austin's Annual Halloween Spook-tacular!
Coming Soon: The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall (read by Vincent Price)

Austin's Annual Halloween Spook-tacular!

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 10, 2014


Coming Soon: The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall (read by Vincent Price) October 20th – October 24th NewsBlas 035 – 039. Tune In as part of our HalloweenSpooktacular 2014 for the entire third week of October! https://ia601508.us.archive.org/1/items/NewsBlas29October2014/TheWaterGhostpreview.mp3   Only on BlasphuphmusRadio.com.

The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows podcast

Upperclassmen tune, deep gratitude to Dark Shadows fans, and Josette Dupres lovers. Plug for Osheen Nevoy's "Stand Fast And Damn The Devil" as well as singing her praises. Thanks to other writers and creators, interview with my spouse, workshop ideas on commentary and the need for that on both ends. Problem solving techniques. Descriptions of publishing novel: Margaret Josette Dupres.Garlic and vampires, John Kendrick Bangs's story "The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall" and it's importance in the 11th Episode.The chiseling out of Caleb Collins, the purpose for his ghost and the upcoming introduction of Endora from Bewitched.

Hypnogoria
HYPNOBOBS 104 – Christmas Eve at King’s

Hypnogoria

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 21, 2012 113:31


It's Christmas Eve, and you are all invited to King's College, Cambridge for a special Christmas revival of the legendary Chit-Chat Club. Mr Jim Moon is in the armchair by the fire and presenting a humorous seasonal haunting from Mr John Kendrick Bangs - The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall, some festive verse from Sir Walter Scott and Walter de la Mare, and talking about the ancient traditions of Yuletide. But of course, the highlight of this evening's entertainment is a reading of a ghost story from MR James, The Tractate Middoth.  

19 Nocturne Boulevard
"The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall" by John Kendrick Bangs - Edwardian Entertainments, #7

19 Nocturne Boulevard

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 19, 2011 31:48


A ghost that haunts Christmas?  Why not? Mixed by Scott Pigg Music by Kevin MacLeod Cover art by Julie Hoverson

Water Ghost and Others, The by BANGS, John Kendrick
01 The Water Ghost Of Harrowby Hall

Water Ghost and Others, The by BANGS, John Kendrick

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 1, 1970 23:45


ghosts water harrowby hall
Water Ghost and Others, The by BANGS, John Kendrick
01 The Water Ghost Of Harrowby Hall

Water Ghost and Others, The by BANGS, John Kendrick

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 31, 1969 23:45


ghosts water harrowby hall