About Your Mother

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About Your Mother is a monthly podcast hosted by writer Jennifer Griffith. Each podcast features a conversation with a dynamic guest exploring the influence their mothers had on the trajectory of their life.

Jennifer Griffith

Oakland, California


    • Jun 27, 2024 LATEST EPISODE
    • monthly NEW EPISODES
    • 40m AVG DURATION
    • 33 EPISODES


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    Latest episodes from About Your Mother

    When Cultures Collide | Susan Blumberg-Kason

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 27, 2024 65:51


    Immersing ourselves in a culture is exhilarating and can change our view of the world. What happens when you are an American marrying into a Chinese family? What could go wrong? Good Chinese Wife is a memoir that explores Susan Blumberg-Kason's life integrating into a Chinese family and her thrilling search for agency.Connect with Susansusanbkason.comGood Chinese WifeLearn more about the podcast at byjennifergriffith.com/category/podcast

    The Secrets We Carry | Adrienne Brodeur

    Play Episode Listen Later May 9, 2024 41:44


    Life changing conversations can happen at any time in our lives—but what if you are 14 and your mother reveals a secret that upends your adolescence and sends you on a decades long journey to untangle from the world she brought you in, the world you were happy to be a part of? Adrienne Brodeur's best selling book, Wild Game, examines the price she paid to be her mother's confidant and helper in an epic affair with her husband's closest friend. The story doesn't end there. Connect with Adriennehttps://www.adriennebrodeur.com/instagram.com/adriennebrodeuradriennebrodeur.com/little-monstersLearn more about the podcast at byjennifergriffith.com/category/podcast

    The Door to Freedom | Agata Izabela Brewer

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 30, 2024 46:35


    The experiences of our ancestors are passed down through generations. Nowhere is this more prevalent than in our connection with our mothers. Our mothers carry us, and we carry them in some ways. For Agata Izabela Brewer, it was living with her alcoholic mother that inspired a desire to know how hunger and trauma several generations ago shaped her mother's attitude toward nurturing.In her memoir, The Hunger Book from Communist Poland, Agata brings us into the harsh reality of living with a mother who survived the war. But was deeply affected by its aftermath. Our conversation is a look into her work, but also a stark reminder about how conflicts in the world will impact us for generations to come.Connect with Agataagatabrewer.comThe Hunger Bookfacebook.com/agata.szczeszakbrewerLearn more about the podcast at byjennifergriffith.com/category/podcast

    The Fire Within Us | Christy Warren

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 24, 2024 56:36


    Christy Warren never imagined the unexpected twist her career would take. The weight of her experiences as a firefighter ultimately led to an unexpected battle with PTSD, but her resilience and honesty shed light on the often overlooked emotional toll that many frontline workers face. As she opens up about her journey, Christy's raw account brings to light the urgent need for comprehensive mental health support within the first responder community. Listen in as Christy's story sparks a greater understanding and support for those who selflessly serve and protect our communities. If you or a first responder you know are battling PTSD, reach out to their department for guidance on support. The West Coast Post-Trauma Retreat is another powerful resource to consider. Meet Christy Christy Warren is a retired fire captain from the Berkeley Fire Department in California. She has twenty-five years of service as a professional paramedic and a professional firefighter/paramedic. After being diagnosed with PTSD in 2014, she retired from the fire service; since then, she has become a triathlete, completed the Escape from Alcatraz swim six times, and earned a bachelor's degree in business from Washington State University. She is a volunteer Peer at the West Coast Post-trauma Retreat and hosts the podcast, The Firefighter Deconstructed. She lives in Pleasant Hill with her wife, Lisa, and dog, Harriet. A tender, loving heart can only withstand so much tragedy and so much pain while shoving every normal reaction away. - Christy Warren First Responders: The Heroes of Our Community  From the lack of guidance on handling distraught family members to the aftermath of tough decisions made on the job, Christy paints a raw and relatable picture of the struggles faced by first responders. She describes how the weight of these experiences eventually led to her own battle with PTSD, highlighting the toll it took on her mental health and personal life.  Christy's story is a poignant reminder of the often-overlooked emotional challenges that first responders encounter. Her candid account serves as a powerful call for greater awareness and understanding of the impact of trauma on those who selflessly serve and protect. The Emotional Burden that First Responders Take On First responders often operate in high-stress environments that require an immense amount of resilience and mental fortitude. Amidst their duties and responsibilities, they are exposed to various traumatic experiences, exacting an emotional toll that often goes unnoticed. The crux of the challenge lies in the fact that they are generally well-equipped regarding operational preparedness, but emotional preparedness often takes a setback.  Emotional preparedness is an integral part of the training that is often overlooked, but it has profound implications on their mental health and ability to effectively carry out their duties. Christy Warren delves into this aspect, unearthing the painful realization that traumatic experiences couldn't have been anticipated with any amount of training. She shares a distressing experience of responding to the death of a toddler, which left an indelible impact on her emotional health. Christy articulates the feeling of being underprepared to handle the profound grief of the grieving parents, underscoring the need for emotional preparedness in first responders' training. The Impact of PTSD on First Responders Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a serious mental health problem that often goes unrecognized and untreated in the first responder community. Many first responders confront harrowing situations on a daily basis, which can lead to the onset of PTSD symptoms. These symptoms can include persistent nightmares, severe anxiety, uncontrollable thoughts about the traumatic event, and emotional distress.  Left unchecked, PTSD can impact the first responder's personal and professional life severely.

    028 Love, Loss, and Family Resilience | Charlotte Maya

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 14, 2023 40:25


    In the blink of an eye, Charlotte Maya's life took an unexpected turn when she lost her husband by suicide, leaving her grappling with a series of emotions. From empathy to rage to overwhelming guilt, she found herself navigating uncharted territory in the wake of tragedy. Maya's story is one of resilience and hope, highlighting how being honest with our experience can help others heal. Amidst the darkness, a guiding light emerged, offering a poignant realization that shifted the course of her healing journey. In this episode, we discuss how the power of community and beautiful people are helping hands in the healing journey. If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide, you can find support by dialing 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline or go to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline website.   "Grief is like a heavy sandbag at your feet. When you do pick it up, you'll notice there's a little hole in the bottom, and that's where the grains of sand start to fall out. And then two things start to happen. It gets lighter, and you get stronger." - Charlotte Maya   About Charlotte Maya Charlotte Maya, a mother of two, has become a beacon of hope in the face of adversity, embodying resilience and unwavering strength. Charlotte's life took an unexpected turn when her husband died by suicide. The aftermath left her grappling with a series of emotions, from empathy to rage to overwhelming guilt. However, amidst the darkness, her therapist's words became a guiding light: "You get 100% of your 50%, and Sam gets 100% of his 50%." This poignant realization allowed her to release the burden of self-blame and what-ifs. Charlotte's journey underscores the vital role of honesty and transparency in the face of loss by suicide, paving the way for healing and resilience. Her journey through grief and loss has not only shaped her personal growth but has also deeply influenced her parenting philosophy, emphasizing the primal instinct and compassion that arise amidst challenges. Her story serves as a testament to the transformative power of compassion, self-care, and unwavering community support. In sharing her narrative, Charlotte imparts a message of hope, proving that even in the depths of despair, strength can be found, and healing can emerge from vulnerability.   Understanding Suicide as an Illness Suicide is a widespread public health issue, and understanding it as an illness can be a significant step towards eradicating stigma and promoting prevention efforts. When Charlotte began to understand and accept suicide as an illness, she became empathetic to Sam and his journey. Although, at the same time, she felt rage. She recognized that Sam had been struggling, yet also had feelings of abandonment—both of those things were true and valid. Charlotte's therapist helped guide her into better understanding Sam by offering her this advice, “You get to own 100% of your 50% and Sam gets 100% of his 50%.” The mistake that Sam made was not asking for help, that was his 50%. Therefore, treating suicide as an illness means viewing it as a mental health condition that can and should be treated through medical interventions, therapies, and support systems. For Charlotte, she's learned that we can't solve the problem of suicide with silence—we have to talk about it, so now she is on a mission to help others who may be struggling.   Making an Impact: Sharing Stories of Loss and Resilience Sharing stories of resilience during times of grief and loss can be profoundly healing and empowering, both for the storyteller and the listener. These narratives serve as a testament to human spirit and fortitude, offering solace and encouraging others navigating similar paths by showcasing they're not alone. The act of sharing personal experiences of resilience can spark conversations, increase awareness, and foster more empathetic societies. Charlotte's story is a compelling example of this concept.

    027 A Journey to Sobriety | Laura McKowen

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 26, 2023 43:24


    Do you long for the freedom of a sober lifestyle in a world that constantly celebrates alcohol? Laura McKowen joins us in this conversation to share her own experience and journey to sobriety. By unraveling the complexities of societal pressures, Laura will guide you towards a life of clarity, strength, and sobriety. Get ready to discover the solution that will empower you to thrive in a society that may not fully understand the beauty of living alcohol-free. "Leaving that mental door open just gave me a lot of freedom until eventually I knew I would never drink again." - Laura McKowen About Laura McKowen Laura McKowen is a powerful voice in the world of sobriety, providing guidance and support to individuals navigating the challenges of living in a society that normalizes alcohol consumption. With almost a decade of sobriety, Laura's journey has been marked by honesty, vulnerability, and a deep understanding of the complexities of addiction. Through her writing and speaking engagements, Laura explores the connection between trauma and addiction, shedding light on the underlying reasons that drive individuals to seek solace in alcohol.  Supportive Community  Her relatable and compassionate approach offers a beacon of hope to those struggling with their own relationship with alcohol. With her platform, Laura has created a safe and supportive space for individuals to share their stories and find the strength to embark on their own path to sobriety. Her insights and experiences serve as a reminder that recovery is possible and that there is a vibrant and fulfilling life waiting beyond addiction. Sobriety in a Society That Normalizes Alcohol: Laura McKowen's journey to sobriety began with a flood of questions. How did she end up in this place? Why was she the one with the problem while everyone else seemed to be able to drink without issue? And why was society so protective of alcohol, making it taboo to talk about the truth? These questions consumed her, and in her search for answers, she turned to writing. Laura had always been a writer, using journals to navigate her emotions since she was nine years old. Writing helped her uncover the underlying reasons behind her drinking and provided a much-needed outlet for her struggles. She started sharing her writings, initially with a lack of clarity about what she was going through, but as she continued on her path to sobriety, she became more open and transparent. It was through writing that Laura found her voice and began to speak her truth, no matter the consequences. Writing became her tool for self-discovery and healing, allowing her to shed the lies and embrace the power of honesty. And now, as an author, she uses her words to inspire and connect with others on their own journeys to sobriety. You can read more about Laura's writings at lauramckowen.com. Overcoming Social Expectations and Pressures with Alcohol The societal expectations and pressure to consume alcohol can quickly turn a casual drink into a perceived need. It becomes, distressingly, often easier to conform than question or challenge these deep-seated norms. Breaking this cycle requires a radical, conscious rethink of our personal choices and their alignment with societal expectations.  Laura shares about the gripping social pressure to drink and the subsequent feeling of alienation for those choosing sobriety. Laura's account provided a real-life illustration of social expectations and their impacts. Her story is a testament to the strength of will it takes to question and alter these deeply entrenched patterns. The conversation amplifies the urgent need for societal change and individual resolve in choosing sobriety. If you're struggling with alcohol, find support at aa.com or The Luckiest Club.   Laura's Bio Laura McKowen is the bestselling author of We Are The Luckiest: The Surprising Magic of a Sober Life and Push Off From Here: 9 Essential Truths to Get You Through S...

    026 Mother’s Day Reflection

    Play Episode Listen Later May 13, 2023 15:01


    On this Mother's Day, I want to celebrate not only my guests, but also the lessons I've learned from having my show for almost two years. In my dozens of interviews with guests and casual conversations with people, I have learned that our mothers are the beginning of our identity, who we are is inherently linked to the woman who carried us directly and indirectly. The decisions they made in their lives shape our early existence, which determines who we become.  If we're lucky, our mother's hands are the first hands to hold us, their eyes the first we gaze upon. A mother's love is a love that knows no limits. Again, if we are lucky. If we are fortunate to have a mother who is balanced and in control of their mind, heart and life, we have the chance to not only survive, but thrive. If our mothers are broken, there is a chance they will break us to prove their brokenness. Children are strong and have endless resilience even in the most troublesome environments, they can thrive.  As a mother myself, I'm aware of the cracks within my spirit, and how they spill over in plain view of my son. The reality is we were never that far away from where we began, yet we get up every day with the best intentions, and always strive to do right by our children. Life gives us the opportunity to rise above our circumstances, every person I've interviewed has found a way to go beyond the experiences of their childhood and create a beautiful life.   Changing Lives with Empathy ft. with Peter Mutabazi The kindness of a stranger can be so powerful. Peter Mutabazi experienced this firsthand as a child, which changed the course of his life. Now, Peter changes the course of other children's lives. “But for the very first time, I had been seen as a human being, I had been seen as someone who had potential. The rest of the world saw me as I will never amount to anything. I was garbage. I was useless. Before he met my lowest there, he saw the potential in me. He didn't see the dirty thief boy, but he saw a little boy that had the opportunity to be someone and he said, ‘I will offer that I will be there for him.' And that's why it changed for me; it was in the school I was going to, but for the first time that someone saw me as a human being, and that's how I changed my life.” - Peter Mutabazi Listen to Peter's Full Episode >>   The Girls Who Went Away ft. with Ann Fessler In the decades before Roe vs Wade, many women had the role of mother stolen from them due to the societal and systemic pressures; forcing them to surrender their babies. This became all too familiar for Ann as she learned more about her own birth mother. “I understood what my mother had been through. I really did believe that she wouldn't want this skeleton in her closet to reappear and show up on her doorstep. And as I'm talking to this woman, she's telling me a completely different perspective. I realized as I'm standing there, that here I am a 40 year old adoptee who thinks they're well informed and is very well informed about women's history, well read about all those things—never heard anything about this. And I realized that I was completely wrong. I had never considered that losing a child through adoption was any different than losing a child in any other way—that it's a loss. It's an enormous loss. People talk about losing a child is the worst thing that can ever happen to you, but they never talked about that in relation to a mother who surrenders a child for adoption. Somehow they think, well, she wanted to give this child away, so she doesn't care. Right? As I continued to talk to this woman, I thought, my God and it was like a giant light bulb went off in my head, and I thought, this is something I have to look into.” - Ann Fessler Listen to Ann's Full Episode >>   The Baby Scoop Era ft. with Karen Wilson-Buterbaugh Similarly, Karen Wilson-Buterbaugh knows this all too well. She felt the pain that came with not having a choice in the decision—losing...

    025 Defending Identity | Keshia Adeniyi-Dorsey

    Play Episode Listen Later May 5, 2023 50:40


    Keshia Adeniyi-Dorsey is a family defender, educator, and activist who brings her experience with the foster care system into the heart of her work as a family defense attorney. Keshia tirelessly advocates for parents who risk losing their children to the system. Past episodes in our What Happened Then series highlighted a time in history— at risk of returning— where primarily white single women were forced to relinquish their children. Often, we fail to realize similar systems are still in place today—although they look slightly different and affect communities of color. Adoption and foster care are rooted in identities, those stolen and those hidden. To know these stories is to hope that one day we understand and we can change. “How can I fight for folks— and I see the struggle— right, and that at least give my birth parents the opportunity to tell me their stories. As opposed to the stories that were being told to me about my parents.” – Keshia Adeniyi-Dorsey Becoming a Family Defender While attending UC Irvine, Keshia's professor researched Adoption and Safe Families. This work centered around the collateral consequence of incarcerated mothers losing their children due to being in custody for too long. This research inspired the career path that Keshia would take in becoming a family defender. Federal legislation says if a child is in the foster system for 15 out of the last 22 months, states must initiate termination of parental rights proceedings. Unfortunately, this is a cap, not a ceiling, allowing individual states to be even stricter. With the average sentence of a woman being 18 months, mothers are losing parental rights due to incarceration. We refer to this as the civil death penalty because there isn't a meaningful mechanism to reverse your parental rights once terminated. These sentences could result from any misdemeanor crime, including petty theft or an estes robbery. Most of the women that Keshia is fighting for go into custody and lose their children for nothing related to abuse or neglect of their children, but simply because they're in custody for too long. In regards to the data, of parents who go into the system, there is a 90% termination of parental rights (TPR) rate—it's even higher when it's the mother in custody. Those children are then placed in the foster care system.   Keshia's Childhood Keshia is very familiar with the system, as she was placed in it at two years old, ultimately aging out when she turned 18. Through her research and work around this subject, Keshia went through an incredible healing process as a consequence of her efforts. As Keshia was practicing in court representing incarcerated parents, she realized it wasn't just moms that were facing this injustice, it was entire communities. The reality is the system disproportionately impacts black and indigenous families. As she learned more about the history of the infrastructure and the ways in which it has frayed and separated black families, it gave her more grace for her birth parents. This resulted in her deciding to find them and get to know them.   Meeting Her Family Since adoptions within the foster system in California are closed, Keshia didn't have the information needed to find her parents, however her family found her. Before the reunion, she'd struggled with foster guilt and told herself that her birth parents were dead. The oldest of the eight children (whom Keshia had never met) hired a private investigator to find her family. This led to Keshia, who had met her oldest sister and her grandmother before, but was introduced to them as a family friend. Keshia was able to connect with both of her birth parents. While her mother was living close by, her birth father was deported back to Nigeria in 2005. This didn't stop her from traveling there to meet him.   The Woman Who Raised Her Finding out that she'd unknowingly been in contact with her family really shook Keshia'...

    024 Manifesting Your Dreams | Linda Sivertsen

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 4, 2023 41:50


    Making it as a writer isn't an easy task, but Linda Sivertsen has found the secret sauce. Known as the best writing coach, agent connector, and Book Mama, Linda has authored and co-authored eleven books, including two New York Times best sellers. Today, she joins us to share her journey to writing, what makes a good writer, and how she found herself sharing the stories of so many New York Times Best Selling Authors! Plus, did you know that About Your Mother was born while I attended Linda's writing retreat? What a full-circle moment this interview has created! “How did I get so lucky? You know how I got lucky? Because I trusted; I trusted what I knew in my gut, which was it didn't matter that I didn't have a college degree. It didn't matter that I wasn't a PhD. Was I ashamed of those things early on? A little, but I was like, you know what, fuck it. That doesn't mean I don't have some kind of innate intelligence that maybe they don't have. Maybe my intelligence is intuitive. Maybe the mystical sort of spirit connection I have to books is enough to help propel people's destiny. And I just freaking trusted and I'm so glad that I'm naïve and grandiose enough to have done that, because it's worked out.” – Linda Sivertsen    Linda's Journey from Dog Walker to Author Linda began her career in her dream job as a dog walker in Beverly Hills. For her, it was the perfect job. What made it so successful for her was that the celebrities weren't important to her; it was the dogs. Through that love of each dog, she built trust with the animals and the owners. Therefore, when she was about five years into that career, she had a dream that told her to interview the dog owners about the behind-the-scenes details of their lives. As random as it was, she trusted it—and it happened. Growing up, she was a fun, athletic child, while her sister was more academic. Despite the fact that she wanted to be a writer as a child, she didn't pursue it because she didn't feel smart enough. Ironically, when the calling came to her in a dream, it was fitting that she went after it.   Her Mother's Influence on Her Work Both of Linda's parents were very influential in her life. Her mother raised her with an awareness of spirituality and a protectiveness of the environment. Her mother was still alive when Linda had the writing dream which was motivation enough for Linda to pursue a book with the message of environmentalism. She knew this topic would be a hard sell because no one seemed to care about the environmentalists who were in the trenches and doing the hard work. Still, if she could interview environmental celebrities and combine them with tabloid-esque tales, readers may be interested. This could make a difference. This was inspired by her mother's life work, followed by her death, which ultimately drove her to do this very thing. “Part of what drove me was that I thought, well, I can interview environmental celebrities. People in the trenches who are doing this heroic work to save our natural world, that the press doesn't give two shits about honestly, at the time, nobody seemed to care. Certainly readers didn't seem to care. I thought, well, if I combine those environmental details with the tabloid-esque tales that these celebrities are telling me about being incested by the royal family, being bulimic, overcoming drug addiction, and whatever. If I combine their heroic work with the environment with those stories, they'll be educated through the back door and actually maybe care. Maybe we can make a difference. So I was so motivated by my mother's life, and then by her death, to continue the work that she never felt like she had fully realized in her life.” – Linda Sivertsen    Manifestation, Magical Synchronicities, and Writing Her Book When she decided to write her latest book, she wanted to create something for creatives about the behind-the-scenes of becoming a successful writer.

    023 Searching For My Identity | Jan Beatty

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 28, 2023 39:10


    When adoptees search for their birth parents, it's the pursuit of identity. Where do I come from? Who gave birth to me? What is my medical history?   AYM guest, Jan Beatty, wanted to know her name – not the one given by her adoptive parents, but the name on her birth certificate. This quest began a decades-long search. An experience documented in her memoir, American Bastard. "When I met my birthmother, she was full of shame and was crying. We had very different agendas. She wanted to apologize and know that I had a good life, and I wanted to find out who my father was. It was so hard to get information from her...I'm not upset she gave me away; I was upset she wouldn't tell me my name." – Jan Beatty   Walls of Protection In the decades before Roe, unwed mothers relinquished their children under secrecy and shame; this pain carried through to the next generation. Jan's mother was a girl who went away, which meant finding her through the institutions that organized the adoption would be difficult. Locating her mother and father would be a test of perseverance and patience. "I had assembled huge walls of protection over the years to stay alive. An adoptee needs to have a strategy from a young age, whether conscious or not -- a way to manage this hole of abandonment, loss, and grief."  - Jan Beatty, excerpt from "American Bastard"   Being Saved Throughout her book and our conversation, Jan addresses the concept of an adopted child being "saved." This notion paints over the tremendous hurt central to the experience. As she explains, there can be gratitude for being adopted while acknowledging it's rooted in a broken maternal connection. "The cost for being adopted is compulsory gratitude. You are supposed to be very, very grateful. And that's another part of it; there is no room for questioning. There is no room for being unhappy about it. It's a primary, lifelong trauma that no one puts in those terms, or few people do."  – Jan Beatty   The Finding Identity and belonging are such an integral part of our existence. Jan's revelations surrounding her adoption are essential to understanding the intricacies of emotion for adoptees. Locating her birth parents allowed Jan to ask questions but does not resolve the pain; that is something an adoptee needs to repair on their own. "I would suggest they meet with them and see what their child has to say... everybody wants something different. I didn't want a family, and I didn't want birthdays and Christmas'; that's the last thing I wanted. But some people might want that. I would just say to listen and try to be open." – Jan Beatty To hear more from Jan Beatty and her story, download and listen to the episode.   Bio Jan Beatty's seventh book, American Bastard, won the Red Hen Nonfiction Award. The University of Pittsburgh Press published the Body Wars in 2020, and a new chapbook, Skydog, was just released by Lefty Blondie Press. In the New York Times, Naomi Shihab Nye said: Jan Beatty's new poems in “The Body Wars” shimmer with luminous connection, travel a big life and grand map of encounters. Beatty worked as a waitress, abortion counselor, and in maximum security prisons. For years, she directed Creative Writing, the Madwomen in the Attic workshops, and the MFA program at Carlow University.   Connect with Jan! Jan Beatty Website Red Hen Press - Jan Beatty Facebook - Jan Beatty  Twitter - Jan Beatty American Bastard - Amazon

    022 The Girls Who Went Away | Ann Fessler

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 19, 2022 66:19


    Ann Fessler's critically accompanied book, The Girl Who Went Away, gives voice to the millions of women forced to surrender their babies in the decades before Roe v Wade. As an artist and a teacher, listening to Ann tell her story feels like you are walking into a lecture hall about to learn something new, and you are.   The Conversation - The Beginning As an adoptee, adoption has always been central to Ann's life. However, her understanding of adoption changed in 1989 when she had a seemingly casual greeting that changed her life. "I was teaching at a college in Maryland and Maryland Institute College of Art, and I went to an opening for a graduate student I'd been working with. I was walking around the gallery, and a woman walked in. And she looked really familiar to me, but I couldn't remember where I knew her from. A little bit later, I see her coming across the room directly towards me. And I'm thinking, 'Oh, who is she?' She walks up to me, and with no introduction, she said, 'You could be my long-lost daughter; you look exactly like the combination of myself and the father of my child.' And I actually started to have a kind of physical reaction to that."  – Ann Fessler Ann was one of those adoptees who had never given much thought to the possibility of finding her birth parents as she felt they didn't want to know her. The chance meeting opened her mind to learning more about what both sides experience during separation.   The Girls Who Went Away Ann's parents were very open about her adoption, but that didn't address the societal issues that led to millions of women surrendering their babies. In the 60s, before Roe v Wade, many young women were being sent away in shame because being a single mother was taboo and unacceptable at the time. A single, unwed mother would harm their family's reputation. "The women I interviewed, many of them are my age. And I knew what happened if you became pregnant -- you got out of town as fast as possible, because you would be absolutely ruined. If anyone knew, your reputation is ruined. You were told no man's ever going to want you."  – Ann Fessler Young ladies would disappear from school one day and return in a year with some excuse for their absence.   A Different Perspective Ann was exposed to a different perspective when talking to the woman in the gallery. As someone who had gone through life as an adoptee and was well-versed in women's history, she felt she had uncovered a painful secret. "I realized that I was completely wrong. And that I had never considered that losing a child through adoption was any different than losing a child in any other way, that it's a loss. It's an enormous loss. And people talk about losing a child as the worst thing that can ever happen to you. But they never talked about that in relation to a mother who surrenders her child for adoption."  – Ann Fessler To hear more from Ann Fessler and the story of The Girls Who Went Away, download and listen to this episode.   Bio Ann Fessler For more than 35 years, Ann Fessler's work has focused on the stories of women and the impact that myths, stereotypes, and mass media images have on their lives and intimate relationships. Fessler turned to the subject of adoption in 1989 after being approached by a woman who thought Ann might be the daughter, she had surrendered for adoption forty years earlier. Though the woman was not her mother, Fessler—an adoptee—was profoundly moved by the experience. The conversation that ensued changed the focus of her work. Since that time, she has produced three films, numerous audio and video installations, and a non-fiction book on adoption. Between 2002-05, Fessler conducted over 100 interviews with women who lost children to adoption during the 28 years that followed WWII, when a perfect storm of circumstances led to an unprecedented number of surrenders. Her short films on adoption have won top honors at festivals and have been screen...

    021 Aftermath: Life in Post-Roe America | Elizabeth Hines

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 10, 2022 34:32


    The subject of reproductive rights has taken center stage in our society. Still, many people don't understand the tentacles those rights have in every corner of society or within most families. On this episode of About Your Mother is my conversation with writer and editor Elizabeth Hines, who spearheaded the recent anthology Aftermath: Life in Post-Roe America. Our discussion touches on motherhood, activism, and what it takes to bring important stories to the forefront. Shocked and motivated by the Dobbs decision, Elizabeth Hines channeled her energy to gather essays and interviews from contributors to share the importance of reproductive rights in America. Here is our conversation.   Letting Voices Be Heard The discussion begins with what inspired Elizabeth to put the anthology together. She found herself shocked and outraged when the decision leaked. Soon discovering she was not alone as friends and relatives voiced their disbelief and outrage about the judgment. Then, she had a calling and decided to serve as a vehicle for voices to be heard. "It was really just my anger and outrage over what was, at the time, the leaked draft of Justice Alito and his opinion on the Dobbs case. Then I got emails and text messages from friends, who are also parents who were really just beside themselves with concern about what do we do now."  – Elizabeth Hines   Making a Difference Elizabeth knew that many people were incensed about this issue, even those who are high-profile and have a larger platform to voice their concerns. She also understood the importance of seizing the moment. "I realized that I could do all of the text complaining and social media posting I wanted. But in the end, all of us are faced at a certain point with the question, what skills and tools do I have to actually make a difference? And one of the skills and tools I have as a writer is writing and bringing people together around the written word. And so I simply decided that what I was going to do was call on people I didn't even know and just start putting together an anthology."  – Elizabeth Hines   The Silence That Left Us Vulnerable Contributors bravely share their stories connected to reproductive rights, as well as experiences that influenced their understanding of them. Whether it's a health crisis, activism, health care work, political advocacy, and more, the anthology covers the varying degrees that reproductive rights touch people's lives. However, so many of these stories remain private, known to few. As one contributor, Rebecca Traister, said, "Our silence left us vulnerable." Many women wish to be more vocal on important issues but need help knowing where to begin. How do they reach people outside their own circles? Elizabeth's anthology breaks the familiar silence around the subject and gives the storytellers a platform. There are many brilliant contributors to the collection with varying accounts of reproductive experiences, and some might leave you shocked to understand how Dobbs affects so many lives.   Contributors include: Jessica Valenti Alyssa Milano Soraya Chemaly Michelle Goodwin Ruby Sales Gloria Feldt Linda Villarosa and 31 more. To hear more from Elizabeth Hines and her thoughts on post-Roe America, download and listen to this episode.   Bio Elizabeth Hines is an author, editor, and strategic communications specialist. Her work has appeared in numerous online publications, and along with her mother, Carol Jenkins, she is the co-author of the best-selling biography, Black Titan: A. G. Gaston and the Making of a Black American Millionaire, winner of a 2004 Non-Fiction Book Honor from the American Library Association. Hines holds a BA from Yale College and conducted her graduate studies at Harvard University. She lives in New York City.   Connect with Elizabeth! Facebook | More about Elizabeth Hines Check out the anthology here: Aftermath: Life in Post-Roe America | Sh...

    020 The Baby Scoop Era | Karen Wilson-Buterbaugh

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 28, 2022 42:37


    In our new series, What Happened Then, AYM features stories from a part of our history unknown to many. Karen Wilson-Buterbaugh spent twenty years researching and writing The Baby Scoop Era. In 2007, Karen founded the Baby Scoop Era: Research, Education, and Inquiry (BSERI) organization to support millions of women forced to surrender their babies between 1945 and 1972. Young and in love, Karen found herself pregnant at 17 years old. The events that followed were an emotional and humiliating experience. First, she was sent to a wage house, then to a maternity home, where she was labeled an inmate. She found herself isolated from everyone she knew and expected to surrender her child. Karen was not alone. The Baby Scoop Era represents a time when millions of single unwed mothers went into maternity homes where they lived in secrecy and shame. This is Karen's story. “It was a very humiliating experience. And by this time, I was so incredibly depressed. I remember crying a lot and looking out the window at a church, wishing I was free instead of a prisoner of this place. So I called my mother, and I said I was feeling very suicidal. I said, 'You have to get me out of here. I'm leaving; I'm walking out the door. And I don't care where I go, but I'm not staying here anymore.' ” – Karen Wilson Buterbaugh Surrendering To understand what had happened to her, Karen found materials explaining her situation then. One such resource stated, "It is essential that the parent most involved, psychologically, in the daughter's pregnancy also be dealt with in a manner identical with the one suggested in dealing with the girl. Time is of the essence; the maturation of the fetus proceeds at an inexorable pace. An ambivalent mother, interfering with her daughter's ability to arrive at the decision to surrender her child, must be dealt with as though she (the girl's mother) were a child herself. (Marcel Heiman, M.D. in "Out-Of-Wedlock Pregnancy In Adolescence," Casework Papers 1960) "Our days were spent talking about pregnancy. Not knowing what was going on in our bodies, we didn't have any schooling about it. Nobody gave us classes, which was intentional; they did not want us to bond with the baby...the child was always called 'The Baby' because they saw us bonding with them as a negative. We would get in the way of us surrendering our babies." – Karen Wilson-Buterbaugh The Myth The adoptions were shrouded in secrecy. Mothers were seen as misguided women who discarded their babies. Institutions perpetuated this myth, further compounding the young women's pain. "The emotional support or counseling was that you've made this mistake and need to correct it. The correction is that you must surrender your baby because you are not equipped, old enough, or experienced enough to raise the baby. So the child has to go to a married couple. That was the only counseling we received. It was a daily mantra of you have sinned."  – Karen Wilson-Buterbaugh Young women believed it was their fault, and the only reparation was to surrender their baby so that child may live "a good life." For the confused mothers - cut off from everything familiar, including their families - the only people they had were each other. Sadly, they were told to forget the mothers they met. To hear more from Karen Wilson-Buterbaugh and her experiences during the Baby Scoop Era, download and listen to the episode. Bio Karen Wilson-Buterbaugh is Executive Director of the Baby Scoop Era Research Initiative, Executive Director of Origins International, co-founder of Mothers for Open Records Everywhere (MORE) and founding member of Mothers Exploited By Adoption (MEBA). Karen's personal story appears in Ann Fessler's book, "The Girls Who Went Away, the Hidden History of Girls Who Surrendered Babies for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v. Wade" She is co-author of Adoption Healing: A Path to Recovery for Mothers who Lost Children to Adoption,

    019 – Ten Stories to Celebrate Mother’s Day

    Play Episode Listen Later May 8, 2022 27:17


    For Mother's Day, we are recapping ten powerful episodes from the last year. This review features a short clip from each conversation, so you can quickly get a feel for the content and guest. Timestamps and guest names are listed below. An interesting thing happens when the word mother is mentioned - a conversation rooted in truth always follows. And for all of us, while she is our beginning, where we land is a journey uniquely our own.   Timestamps: Guest (Episode) - Segment Time Jeff Forney (010) - 0:40 Olivia Joffrey (007) - 1:50 Sarai Obermeyer and Amy Kelly (009) - 4:30 Peter Mutabazi (011) - 7:00 Amy Ferris (013) -  11:00 Melanie Spring (008) - 13:42 Angie Kim (012) -  16:40 Ashley Mitchell (014) - 18:20 Shanti Brien (016) - 20:00 Beth Broday (017) - 23:40   Follow guests on IG here: https://www.instagram.com/jeffforney/ https://www.instagram.com/oliviajoffrey/ https://www.instagram.com/amyksf/ https://www.instagram.com/fosterdadflipper/ https://www.instagram.com/ferris_a/ https://www.instagram.com/melaniespring/ https://www.instagram.com/angiekimask/ https://www.instagram.com/bigtoughgirl/ https://www.instagram.com/shantibrien/ https://www.instagram.com/bethbroday/

    018 Re-membering Oneself | Steph Jagger

    Play Episode Listen Later May 4, 2022 35:27


    This episode of About Your Mother is my conversation with Steph Jagger: a seeker, explorer, and writer. Her latest book, Everything Left to Remember, documents her adventure with her mother into the Rocky Mountains while they navigate the terrain of dementia and the meaning of remembrance. Steph's life and work are as deep as the 4 million vertical feet she skied in one year to break a world record. That journey is the basis of her first book Unbound: A story of Snow and Self-discovery. Her latest book examines her journey and transition from maiden to mother.   Steph Jagger and Her Maiden Voyage Steph is an ideal guest for About Your Mother as her latest book perfectly encapsulates the transition many of us make from maiden to mother. It also asks, who am I with my mother and who am I without her?   Unbound "Unbound was a book that came out in 2017. It was about a ski journey I took in 2010 to 2011. And really, on so many fronts, that was what I would consider my maiden voyage, the maiden voyage in the world of who am I without all of the roles I played in my teens and 20s." – Steph Jagger That journey allowed Steph to explore her power to affect the world through her actions, which to her is a quintessential question that a maiden might think.   Memories Do Not Have to Come from a Broken Place We talk about Steph's stance on memoirs; they do not always have to come from a broken place, and sometimes it can just be a journey of self-discovery and learning to love yourself. "I think this specifically for female written memoir; I am a big, big believer that we need stories, a multitude of them for a multitude of different voices. And we need stories that tell us how to pick up the pieces when life shatters. But I think as women, we also need stories of how to love ourselves into our own bigness, even if something hasn't shattered." - Steph Jagger She also adds that it is essential that we share stories of women in their maiden or formative years because those are the years when women are most unsure of themselves.   Everything Left to Remember In the summer of 2015, Steph's mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Ten months later, Steph and her mother went on a road trip together, and she wrote about this journey in her book. As her mother's memory begins to fade, the threads between mother and daughter become distinct. It made Steph think of the questions, "Who am I to her," and "Who am I without her?" "I believe there is a deep question in all of us: 'Well, shit, like, what will hold us now?' And really, that was ultimately the question. The question I was asking with my mom as we were moving through this journey." - Steph Jagger To hear more from Steph Jagger and her transition from being a maiden to mother, download and listen to this episode.   Bio Steph Jagger is a best-selling memoirist of two books. Her first, Unbound: A Story of Snow & Self-Discovery was published in 2017. Her second, a mother-daughter story called Everything Left to Remember is due out in April of 2022. Outside of being an author, Steph a sought-after mentor and coach whose offerings guide people toward a deeper understanding of themselves and their stories. All of her work, including speaking and facilitating, lies at the intersection loss, the nature of deep remembrance, and the personal journey of re-creation. Steph grew up in Vancouver, Canada and currently lives and works on Bainbridge Island, WA.   Connect with Steph Jagger today! Website | Instagram Order her new book here: Everything Left to Remember

    017 The Art of Becoming | Beth Broday

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 24, 2022 43:19


    This episode of About Your Mother is my conversation with Beth Broday – a pioneer in producing who put music videos on the map beginning with Prince's Little Red Corvette. Beth Broday is a storyteller and has mastered the art of Becoming. Throughout the various stages of work and life, she saw the lessons in each experience, never afraid to make a U-turn that led to something beautiful. Her storytelling is like butter. Towards the end, enjoy our banter on working with some of the world's greatest musicians of all time.   Reflections of the Mother Beth shares that her mother always loved art and was also quite fond of theater. "She took my father and dragged him all over the world: every museum, every city, every café -- she wanted to see the world. She wanted to see it with him, and so, they went." – Beth Broday Beth's mother was a cultured and bright woman, and her dream was for Beth to experience the same things she had. Upon Beth's graduation, her mother's gift to her was a trip to Europe.   The Business of the Music Business Beth knew that she wanted to be part of the music business early on. But it was quite hard to get into, as she admits she couldn't sing or play any instruments. But she knew there were other ways she could be involved in the business. "I got very lucky, I was in the right place at the right time. I had the knowledge of how to make film, and how to make videos -- I knew how to do that stuff. Whereas most people my age in those days, they didn't know anything about that. But I did, because I went to college and studied that." – Beth Broday Later on, being hired by a major record producer opened up opportunities for her to meet people at high levels of the music recording business. As she observed a director shooting videos for artists, she thought: "I already know how to do this from college." She also thought it would be a good program idea, rather than just one-off artists' videos. So with that knowledge and collaboration with people from different labels, Beth got things done. All of this led to a call from Warner Brothers Records in 1983, asking Beth to film a video for the song Little Red Corvette by a 26-year-old artist named Prince.   Beth Broday on Working with the Artists When asked what it was like to collaborate with artists, Beth shares how much it meant to her: "For me, it was incredible that I would be able to bring something to their career. That I would be able to help them get their image out there, and help refine their image. Because over the years as music videos became very common, they became more like marketing vehicles. And so I, on a business level, not only manage production, but I had to manage the image of that artist based on what director I would put with that artist in order to create what the label and the artist wanted to achieve." – Beth Broday With the eventual launch of MTV and an even higher demand for artists to put out music videos, Beth found herself in the middle of it all. She was again at the right place at the right time, with all her connections with various directors and talent. Beth felt like she had to share this good fortune with others, so she made it her mission to find young filmmakers who did great work but needed that initial boost to break through the music and filming industry. Hence began her mission to discover all young, talented filmmakers in Los Angeles, New York, Nashville, and London. To hear more from Beth Broday and her fascinating story on becoming, download and listen to this episode.   Bio Beth Broday is an award-winning executive producer with over thirty years of experience identifying, developing, and selling content that results in millions of dollars in sales and revenue. With creative leadership and an innate ability to recognize promising opportunities ahead of the curve, Ms. Broday successfully married top entertainment brands and properties with digital media. Ms.

    016 Almost Innocent | Shanti Brien

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 10, 2022 33:24


    On this episode of About Your Mother, we meet Shanti Brien, who has spent her career fighting for justice. Often, taking on the most complex cases where the rate of success is meager. When her husband's company was under investigation, her career and personal life collided.   Shanti Brien is a litigator and author. She is also the co-founder of Fogbreak Justice and an educator and consultant for criminal justice reform. Her book, Almost Innocent, explores her work for clients, as well as her personal experience when the criminal justice landed on her front door. Listen to how Shanti expresses her grief with regards to the current injustices that are happening in the criminal justice system: "How is there not more outrage in the injustices that we are letting happen in our name? I'm trying to create a movement of radical empathy for people that are in prison and for people who aren't in prison but they're caught up in the criminal justice system. Sharing stories - that are in my book - is about creating this sense that we really are all in this together. Criminal justice is actually impacting us all. It might be your son, or your nephew." – Shanti Brien If you are interested in Shanti's new book, you can order Almost Innocent on Amazon Books today! Reflections of the Mother Shanti was raised by a single mom due to an absent father. While there aren't specific ways this affected her, she continues to be introspective and discover how this experience shaped her as a person.   One thing that struck her most was a sense of abandonment from her father. This feeling translated to wanting to please her mother, and she never wanted to be a demand or a burden. "I wanted to please my mother so much. I wanted to be such a good, not just a good girl, easy, and wanting to be easy. So I never wanted to be a demand on her. I wanted to be good." – Shanti Brien  Witnessing her mother raise three people by herself left an impact. "She basically had three kids. As a single mom, she worked two jobs. She worked her ass off. She's just an amazing, hard-working person." – Shanti Brien Life Can Be Hard "We realize the way we were raised influences the mother that we become or the things that we have to face and undo." – Jennifer Griffith   While Shanti could understand why her mother felt life was hard, she thought she related to her more when she became a mother. As a new lawyer and someone still building up her career, having two kids in two years was overwhelming. "I felt that feeling like this is overwhelming, being a mother. It's profoundly difficult in so many ways. I didn't have that worldview before." – Shanti Brien   Almost Innocent Shanti talks about her thoughts while writing her new book, Almost Innocent. In her book, she shares the injustices of two situations she was experiencing simultaneously. One was the issue with her husband's company receiving a subpoena, and the other of a young boy she represented in court.   Delving deeper into her story, she finds that everyone commits mistakes, and some missteps become crimes in the eyes of the law. But that doesn't automatically make the person bad, or those who have escaped the criminal justice system any better than those who haven't. "I think that's actually one of the answers that I did come to through writing the book was the profound sense that we share human fallibility. We're all in this together." – Shanti Brien To hear more from Shanti Brien and her new book Almost Innocent, download and listen to this episode.   Bio As a litigator, Shanti Brien has extensive experience in the complex area of habeas corpus litigation, where she developed expertise in constitutional principles as well as the procedural intricacies of the US criminal justice system. She has also handled prisoner civil rights litigation and parole cases.   As an educator and consultant,

    015 My Mother Next Door | Diane Danvers Simmons

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 8, 2021 45:57


    In this episode of About Your Mother, we hear the story of Diane Danvers Simmons, whose mother left and moved next door with three college men when Diane was sixteen years old. A successful businesswoman, mother, and stepmom, Diane was on a trip with her daughter when she heard she needed to forgive her mother, which set her on a path to writing her book. The exercise launched a ten-year journey into uncovering her past, her mother's story, and ultimately finding a way to accept her experience. "You need to let go. You need to forgive your mother." – Dianne Danvers Simmons Listen to how Diane's writing journey became an exploration of generational trauma and lessons learned growing up in the 70s while her narcissistic mother chartered her unfathomable course to independence and freedom. "We need to stop blaming our mothers...I never blamed my mother for leaving or her actions thereafter. I never held her accountable for her narcissism. It wasn't until a few years before she died that I found myself at a breaking point from the latest torrent of her maternal wrath." – Dianne Danvers Simmons Listen to an inspiring conversation on survival, reflection, acceptance, and motherhood. Order Diane's book today: https://www.mothersanddaughtersunfiltered.com/my-mother-next-door   Reflections of the Mother Diane's relationship with her Mother was very complicated. On the one hand, she describes her as a handful-and-a-half and a little 4'11" Irish pistol. But she also knew what she had a huge heart and would help people when she could. "She could create this environment, which was Spring sprinkled with fairy dust and magic. And in the next moment, she could curse you and just, you'd be on the floor just wondering what on earth had happened?" – Dianne Danvers Simmons What made things complicated was that her mother left when she was still young. Listen to how Diane's writing journey became an exploration of generational trauma and lessons learned growing up in the 70s. At the same time, her narcissistic Mother chartered her unfathomable course to independence and freedom.   Coping and Acceptance I tell this story because I see so many women in pain because of their mothers. Don't blame your Mother. Let go of that. You have your choices to make. Don't carry your Mother's burden. – Diane Danvers SimmonsClick To Tweet When asked how she managed to cope, accept, and finally forgive her Mother, Diane shares that her loved ones encouraged her along the way. Diane would often share this story in keynote speeches at empowerment conferences and would get asked the question: "Well, how come you ended up like this happy, positive, normal person?" She attributes her contentment to learning how to accept everything that happened and removing that huge chip from her shoulder she had for a long time. "I'm certainly not normal, but I am happy and positive. But I you know; I have my moments too. Of course, I'm not perfect. I always like to say, the thing we forget about humanity in each era and each other is that we're all deeply flawed. But that's what makes us human and interesting. And it's about that word acceptance, acceptance of each other for those flaws." – Diane Danvers Simmons   My Mother Next Door As Diane asked her close friends and acquaintances about her Mother, she heard many interesting stories about her. Some she had forgotten, others told from a different perspective. It had the makings of a fascinating story, all set in the 70's environment. Yet, the decision to write the story did not come easily. After all, who would want to paint their mother in a negative light, much less turn it into a book and publish it? But once she started to write it, there was no going back. Though she had to rewrite some parts as she was learning new information about her Mother, Diane wanted to share these details with her readers. Because it's one thing to share this fantastic story,

    014 The Miracle of Adoption is Surviving | Ashley Mitchell

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 18, 2021 45:06


    To honor National Adoption Month this November, I bring you a big brave story. In this episode of About Your Mother, meet Ashley Mitchell. Ashley Mitchell is the founder of Lifetime Healing Foundation, which supports birth mothers and those affected by such trauma. Her mission is unique but needed. Give it a listen, and you will understand why.   Reflections of the Mother Ashley describes her mother as an intellectual. She grew up in a home of educators, and her mother was a brilliant woman. Though she also knows a lot about sports, more than anyone in their area. Ashley's mother continually encouraged her to learn about different things, which spurred her love and fascination for discovering as she grew up.   "She always taught me to know a little bit about a lot of different things. That just spurred so much of my fascination with documentaries and reading books. And it has served me really well to be able to sit in any kind of demographic with any kind of person to and have a little bit to share about any topic that comes up. And I have really appreciated that." – Ashley Mitchell   Journey into being a Birth Mom Ashley shares her story of finding herself pregnant at twenty-five. Because of a failed abortion plan, she found herself looking into adoption as an option. While her son and family have a good relationship now, it wasn't always the case. There was a lot of grief and trauma post-relinquishment that Ashley experienced. It was a slow process to educate herself on how to heal from the pain. She came out on the other side with a mission of building a support system for birth mothers nationally.   "No woman should go through something like this....it changes you to the core of who you are. And to then expect the women to just be up to their own devices, to fill in the gaps and to heal was just not… it just didn't sit well with us. So we wanted to change that national standard for sure." – Ashley Mitchell   Remarketing Adoption   We forget that adoption has been all about family building. And it's been that way for decades - to package and present adoption as this beautiful family-building tool. But we are missing the piece where we separate and break a family…Click To Tweet   In order to unpack her own experience as a birth mother, Ashley was drawn to learning the history of adoption. She found information - somewhat like propaganda - that carried the notion that these children were unloved and unwanted. These beliefs kept the birth mothers in secret and shame, telling mothers to pretend the relinquishment didn't happen. Yet when Ashley placed her child for adoption in 2006, her mindset was to give her son a better life. Because she loved her child more than anything, she was willing to be separated from him for that belief.   "The packaging is shifted a little bit. We've marketed adoption a little bit better from being 'unloved and unwanted' to 'we love you so much that we're going to give you this gift,' and it's been really interesting to watch in both scenarios." – Ashley Mitchell     To hear more from Ashley Mitchell and her mission to support birth mothers all around, download and listen to this episode.   Bio Ashley Mitchell, owner of Big Tough Girl and Founder + Executive Director of Lifetime Healing Foundation, set out to seek increased care, understanding, and resources for birth mothers. For over a decade, Ashley has been one of the most consistent and sought after birth mother voices in the nation speaking to reform, ethical practice, and national grief and trauma support. Well known for her vulnerability and transparency in adoption, her story has touched the hearts of countless members of the adoption community and beyond.   Connect with Ashley Mitchell LifetimeHealingFoundation.org Instagram: @bigtoughgirl @twistedsisterhoodpodcast @lifetimehealingfoundation

    013 Writing My Secrets | Amy Ferris

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 14, 2021


    In this episode of About Your Mother, you will meet Amy Ferris. Amy is witty, brutally honest, talented, and regal, like Meryl Streep, and she looks like her too. Ruth Pennebaker of the New York Times described Amy's memoir, “Marrying George Clooney: Confessions from a Midlife Crisis, as poignant, free-wheeling, cranky, and funny. It is all those things, as well as a deep exploration of a complicated relationship with her mother. Amy Ferris is an author, screenwriter, editor, and playwright. So enjoy my conversation with Amy as she shares her story and talks about Buddhism, living and getting kicked out of a commune, midlife, truth-telling family divisions, and more.   Reflections of the Mother The conversation starts off with Amy describing her mother and their relationship growing up. For Amy, she has always thought that her mother was the most powerful woman in the world. Though as time passed, she realized it was something else entirely. “I actually thought my mother was the most powerful woman in the world. And then I realized that no, she was angry. That was really profound realization for me. I mistook all of her anger for power.” – Amy Ferris Amy further explains that her mother was not the nurturing kind, and she scared Amy as a child. Though later on in life, Amy realized that what she had with her mother was a very open and honest relationship. Her mother was unhappy and felt unfulfilled in her life, and she was brutally honest with it. She did not want to be a mother, or to settle down somewhere. But she became all of that, out of necessity; she did not have a chance to choose.   Amy Ferris on Loving Differently   I get to love differently; I get to behave differently. So I took all of the bad stuff that I had grown up with and decided I would never do that to another person. - Amy FerrisClick To Tweet   Amy shares more of her experiences with her mother, though there was one that stuck out the most for her. It was when her mother said this to her, in a wonderful confessional moment: “I wanted everyone to love me and no one to love you.” When Amy heard that, what she felt was not anger, nor sadness. For Amy, it just gave her more reason to love this woman who have been holding on to this thought for all those years, because of the choices or lack thereof that life have afforded her. From there on, Amy has decided to stop blaming her mother for the bad things that had happened in her life. “it was time for me to stop blaming my mother, for the shit my life that was going wrong, it was really important for me to say, Okay, you know what, now I'm responsible for my choices and what I'm doing and who I am.“ – Amy Ferris   Confessions from a Midlife Crisis Amy then talks about the other aspects of her book, Marrying George Clooney: Confessions from a Midlife Crisis. One of the interesting stories that piqued my interest was when Amy was living in a commune. “You know how everyone always says what would you write your younger self? And a lot of people would say I would write, ‘Don't make out with Eric in the back of the car that day in high school, get your diploma go to Harvard'. But you know, I would tell my younger self, ‘do exactly everything that you did, because that's what got you here'. If I hadn't done anything differently, I would not be where I am in any way shape or form. I wouldn't be the woman I am.” – Amy Ferris   To hear more from Amy Ferris and how to get yourself out of a midlife crisis, download and listen to this episode.   Bio Amy Ferris is an author, screenwriter, editor and playwright. Her memoir, Marrying George Clooney: Confessions From A Midlife Crisis debuted theatrically (Off-Broadway) in 2012. Ruth Pennebaker of The New York Times called her memoir "poignant, free-wheeling, cranky and funny." Amy co-edited, along with Hollye Dexter, the new anthology Dancing at the Shame Prom.   Connect with Amy Ferris

    012 Writing Her Truth Helps Others | Angie Kim

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 24, 2021 44:41


    In this episode of About Your Mother, I am pleased to introduce Angie Kim. Angie's debut novel Miracle Creek was named Best Book of the Year by Time, The Washington Post, and The Today Show. It went on to win many other prizes throughout the year. Before writing Miracle Creek, Angie Kim was the former editor of Harvard Law Review and a trial attorney. She has also written for Vogue, The New York Times Book Review, The Washington Post Glamour, and numerous literary journals. My conversation with Angie is far and reaching, discussing things such as her life as a Korean immigrant, writing, and the myth of the Good Mother.   Reflections of the Mother The conversation begins with Angie's description of her mother and her most defining trait. For Angie, her mother's generosity and kindness have left a deep impression on her.   "I got to observe her with her customers a couple of times. I was just floored by how generous and kind she was with her customers, even sort of the cantankerous ones. She was just so kind to everyone. And everyone loved her as a result. "– Angie Kim   Angie hopes that she can do it as well with her professional relationships - going that extra mile of being kind and generous with your time can help build better bonds with others.   Miracle Creek Discussing her book, Miracle Creek, Angie shares how her life experiences inspired the book's themes; in a way, she's sharing takeaways from her life with their readers through a new world woven in the story.   "So yes, Miracle Creek is my debut novel...people say that you put a lot of yourself into your first books. That's definitely the case for me as well. I've put so many threads of my own life into this book, one of which is the whole immigrant thread. Another facet of my life that's in this novel is that of me as a mother. Then finally, the other thread that's in my novel was my first career as a trial lawyer." – Angie Kim   Angie Kim on Being a Writer Angie shares that for the longest time, she never wanted to be a writer. Even when she was going to a school with an incredible Creative Writing department, it never occurred to her to take it up. Back then, she thought writing meant just sitting in one place and writing all day, which sounded boring. She found this ironic since, as a lawyer, there was a lot of writing, just a different kind. After going through her colorful experiences in life and listening to friends be fascinated by her journey and life lessons, she decided on her next career to tackle: being a writer.   One day, when I was just having a really hard day, I just opened up my laptop and started writing about what I was upset about. And it was just so cathartic. I had never really experienced that through writing before. And I thought,…Click To Tweet   To hear more from Angie Kim and how to be kind and generous to people around you, download and listen to this episode.   Bio Angie Kim is the debut author of the international bestseller and Edgar winner Miracle Creek, named a "Best Book of the Year" by Time, The Washington Post, Kirkus, and The Today Show, among others. Her novel also won the ITW Thriller Award, the Strand Award, and the Pinckley Prize. A Korean immigrant, former editor of the Harvard Law Review, and one of Variety Magazine's inaugural "10 Storytellers to Watch," Kim has written for Vogue, The New York Times Book Review, The Washington Post, Glamour, and numerous literary journals. She lives in Northern Virginia with her husband and three sons.   Connect with Angie! angiekimbooks.com | twitter | instagram

    011 Changing Lives With Empathy | Peter Mutabazi

    Play Episode Listen Later May 7, 2021 49:38


    In this episode of About Your Mother, you will meet Peter Mutabazi - a remarkable human being who survived a traumatic childhood, only to use that experience to transform lives. He ran away from an abusive father at the age of ten and was homeless on the streets for four years until a stranger asked him his name. That gesture changed his life forever. However, that isn't Peter's story. His story is so much more than that. He has used his experience to lift the lives of those who need our help most. It started with global relief efforts, and now he has been a foster dad to sixteen kids. His mission is to make sure every child is known. Prepare to be in awe of Peter Mutabazi: his courage, empathy, and will to change the lives of the four hundred thousand foster children in our system. Joining me during this episode is my partner in Adoption/Foster Stories, Jeff Forney. If you want to learn more about Jeff's story and work, please listen to episode 010.   A Mother's Love When asked about his mother, Peter has nothing but love and appreciation for how she cared for her children despite their situation. Raised in a culture where women are viewed as second-class citizens, Peter lived with an abusive father. Despite this, it did not stop his mother from raising her children with kindness and love. Her lesson that the impossible is possible was taught to him by his mother.   "She said, 'Look, wrong people and bad behaviors will always come, but you have a right, and you have an opportunity to not always to act the same way.' That gave me empathy for that, that yes, I don't like my dad in some way. That somehow gave me the opportunity to no-repeat who my dad was or to think that was okay." – Peter Mutabazi   Peter's mother has given him the best values and principles in life on how to have empathy.   Running Away From Home At the age of four, Peter began to realize that not only were they poor, but his father was also an abusive man. So for him, hope wasn't there in any shape or form, and his mother was the small ray of sunshine in his life. Yet, at the age of ten, he could not take it anymore, so he ran away from home. To survive, he became a street kid. For Peter, it was better to be miserable in the streets than be abused by the one person who was supposed to be his protector. So for four years, he lived as a street kid. During those four years, no one had asked him who he was or what his name is. Yet a stranger stopped one day and asked him, "Hey, what's your name?" Over time, he had grown close to this visitor, who eventually offered him a chance to go to school.   "He saw the potential in me. He didn't see the dirty thief boy, but a little boy that had an opportunity to be someone, and he said, 'I will offer that. I will be there for him.' For the first time, someone saw me as a human being. The message changed my life. So I went to school – not because I wanted to be somebody, but for the very first time, I had was seen as a human being. Another person has seen me as someone who had potential." – Peter Mutabazi   Being a Father to Others   Dads have the right to be vulnerable, a right to be tender...I have learned to be all, just like moms, when they need that. - Peter MutabaziClick To Tweet   When this kind stranger took Peter in, he made sure Peter knew he was valuable. By using words of affirmation, Peter felt he mattered and belonged. However, there was one word that stuck to Peter - that he was a gift. A gift to his family and a gift to everyone. Given a chance to give back to others, he decided to be a foster dad himself when he grew up.   "The reason why I became a foster dad was he had done so much for me. He has allowed me to have a family, go to school, and then travel over the world. So when I came to United States. I really wanted to give back. They say, 'To whom much is given, much is required.' I had been given so much that I wanted to give back as well.

    010 Adoption Encapsulates Everything That Is Life | Jeff Forney

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 30, 2021 45:02


    In today's episode of About Your Mother, we have a poignant discussion on the meaning of the word Mother. Joining us is Jeff Forney, a photographer, visual story sharer, and a dear friend. Prepare to be inspired by a touching dialogue on the meaning of the word mother, the journey to finding his birth mother, and the impact this experience had on him.   The Meaning of Mom When asked about his definition of the word "Mom," Jeff shares that the word means nurturing, supportive, and loving. As an adoptee, Jeff has various meanings of the word. For him, his mother is his spiritual support and guide.   "I remember probably about four or five years old asking, 'what does it mean to be adopted?' And my parents explained it to me well and said, 'We chose you to be in our life.' So I did feel special. My sister also was adopted, and we felt very much like a family unit. It was a very loving, wonderful childhood. I have a lot of great memories. I'm so grateful for the parents that I was given in this world." – Jeff Forney   The Search As Jeff matured in college, he started entertaining the idea of looking for his birth mother. He wanted to know out of curiosity. If nothing else, he wanted to know where he came from; yet there was a feeling of dread if his parents found out he was searching at all. As he describes it, it was almost like he was cheating on them.   "It is a little daunting telling your parents that you want to look. I was a little nervous about it because you feel like you're cheating on your parents. You feel like, 'Wow, I've had these wonderful humans that have done the best they can and they did a great job. How dare you look for your biological beginnings. You have a wonderful home.' This is a story that adoptees tell themselves that we need to rid ourselves of." – Jeff Forney   Though he did end up telling them about it, rather than the reaction he dreaded, his mom only voiced concern that it might not be an easy task. Nevertheless, they gave him the support he needed.   Jeff Forney and His Passion Project   Finding your birth parent is like climbing to Basecamp on Everest. - Jeff ForneyClick To Tweet    As someone who has undergone the journey of meeting their birth parent, he knew that some people struggle with what to do next. It's not like everything clicks into place once you meet them for the first time. At times, it can even leave either side feeling vulnerable.   This inspired Jeff to launch the Innocent People Project. He used photography as his medium at first, which turned into a passion for creating a media narrative on adoption and healing for those involved.   "Adoption exists out of necessity. If there were no need for adoption, that'd be fantastic. But it exists because there is a necessity so that it won't go away. Though if we can improve it and make it so that it's more open, and there's more of a dialogue about it, we can hopefully limit the number of adoptions so that it's only in those dire cases." – Jeff Forney   To learn more about Jeff Forney and the meaning of the word "mom," download and listen to this episode.   Bio: Jeff was adopted at birth. Raised in the Bay Area by two wonderfully loving parents, Jeff still felt a pull to know and uncover the mystery of his origin. Jeff eventually found his biological roots and has been in reunion with his birthmother for almost 30 years. Now, a photographer living in Los Angeles, a chance photoshoot with Ray Liota and discovering he, too, is adopted, a project was 'birthed' to photograph and interview adoptees in reunion with their biological parents. The project has been a transformative process, but Jeff now finds himself hosting adoptee meetings at his home twice a month. Through Jeff's involvement with the adoption community and just so happening to be a close friend of Jennifer Griffith and her husband Mark, Jeff has lent his 'adoption constellation membership' to Jennifer when her p...

    009 The Lessons Were In How She Lived | Sarai Obermeyer & Amy Kelly

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 23, 2021 48:56


    In honor of International Women's Month, today's episode of About Your Mother brings you a story highlighting the strength and power of maternal lineage. In this dual interview, we celebrate the life of Vera Obermeyer, who recently passed away due to COVID. Our guests are here to talk about her long and colorful life full of purpose. The conversation is with Vera's daughter and granddaughter, Sarai Obermeyer and Amy Kelly. Listen as Sarai and Amy share stories of Vera and her strong, maternal influence on them. They also share some of the family's traumatic past and how it inspired them to lend their voice to those who need it the most.   Breaking the Mold Sarai remembers her mother's advocacy of women's rights when there was hardly any. Vera broke the mold of her time being a mother, career woman, and a strong voice of equality. Yet, she did not aim to bring anyone down but lift everyone to equal status. "There was an understanding that women should have the right and access to fulfill their potential. But that did not mean that when I didn't mind the rights of men, you would want men and boys also to fulfill their potential." - Sarai Obermeyer Vera's views and the virtues she had instilled in them have also led them to a life of helping others and fighting for the marginalized and oppressed.   Relationships Over Everything Sarai takes us through her memories with her mother and how she raised her children and nurtured a career. While it was a big undertaking, Sarai understood that for Vera, having a job was an essential thing in her life. She also reveals that her mother valued relationships over anything. She formed powerful bonds with every person that she held dear, as Sarai found out when she talked to one of her friends: "When I was speaking to her after my mother passed away, she was just tearful. It was so sad. You can just feel the beautiful friendship they had and she then lost by my mother passing away. When you think about it: from 10 to 91... an 81-year-old friendship. How many people have an 81-year-old friendship? Not many." - Sarai Obermeyer   Follow Your Instincts I think being critical, following your own instincts, and making your own choices is really important. - Amy KellyClick To Tweet  Amy shares her grandmother's experiences when raising her children in the 1950s. Women were expected to follow a particular way of life, but Vera didn't go with the flow. She relied on her instincts and what she thought was right. Naturally, people who expect others to conform did not like that. "People thought she was crazy. They really thought she was just beating to her own drum. Yet she just knew the whole time, she just followed her own instincts and made her own decisions with what she felt was right versus what society tells you is right." - Amy Kelly Despite being a woman with strong opinions, Vera never forcefully imposed her own views on her children. She let them choose their own course in life and supported them wholeheartedly. Yet, she was always there to ask the right questions and help them consider their options and think critically at all times.   To learn more about Sarai Obermeyer & Amy Kelly and how one woman inspired them to be better, download and listen to this episode.   Bio: About Amy Kelly Amy Kelly is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in Child, Adolescent, and Reunification therapy. She graduated from UC Davis with a BA in Psychology, SF State with an MFT in Clinical Psychology and completed CE with the American Academy of Pediatrics. Amy is a member of CAMFT and is featured on Psychology Today Profile and GoodTherapy.org. She has been published on TherapyToday writing on Social Media use and Reunification therapy.   About Sarai Obermeyer Sarai Obermeyer was a Deputy District Attorney at Solano County District Attorney's Office. Sarai focused on preventing violence and stopping discrimination in order to better humani...

    008 Your Story Isn’t About You | Melanie Spring

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 2, 2021 35:10


    What does it mean to own and share our own stories? Why would other people want to hear our stories?  In today’s episode of About your Mother, we answer those questions with our special guest, Melanie Spring. Melanie is a vibrant speaker, an approachable bad-ass woman, and the facilitator of both personal and brand stories. Today, she shares her struggles and triumphs that made her who she is now. Melanie also discusses what it’s like to own our stories and how everyone should walk into a room and think ‘you’re welcome’.   Break The Barriers Melanie takes us through her favorite memory with her mother and how she managed to break down barriers and reunite with her after being estranged. It wasn’t easy for both of them, but through a letter on Mother’s Day, they were able to reconcile and leave the past behind and move towards a better relationship. She encourages everyone to own their story by taking that one step into sharing one’s authentic self.  “It took a big shift for the two of us together to reunite. We had to accept each other as who we are. We can talk about the hard things and it's not going to ruin our relationship forever. We can sit and cry about it and talk through it and take a minute with it and come back to it. We won’t let it just get swept under the rug again. ” - Melanie Spring Life is About Integration People often say that life is all about balance when on the contrary, it’s always off-balanced. Melanie discusses how life is about integration and figuring out how things can be more aligned, in sync, and woven together in a way that allows everyone to find peace. Especially during the pandemic, everyone’s lives have changed drastically and it has to be about integration and finding out how to make it all work together.  “It's not about working all the time and then finding time to do some yoga and then some writing. It's about sitting down with my husband for lunch for 30 minutes, those kinds of things. It's the integration of all of them. It's us choosing how we want our lives to be integrated. It's us choosing what things we want to say is work versus life. Do I really want to put a clear line on that and do I have to?” - Melanie Spring Own Your Presence Confidence comes when one chooses to be confident. - Melanie SpringClick To Tweet Melanie shares the connection between owning our stories and being confident. It may take a long time to believe, but being able to own one’s confidence and allow oneself to share and own their stories is an incredible journey. Melanie reminds us that not everyone is for everyone, and unapologetically owning your presence is about allowing yourself to exist and become more confident in the space you’re in.  “The constant reminder to not apologize unless you're actually sorry for something. If you did something terrible, please say you're sorry. Otherwise, don't apologize.Click To Tweet "Every time you walk into a room or get don't get back to me within five minutes to do something. Don't apologize and rather say ‘hey, I forgot about that’, ‘here's the thing’, ‘thanks so much for understanding’. There's a big difference in a shift and apology versus you're welcome when it comes to owning your presence.” - Melanie Spring To learn more about Melanie Spring and how you can own your presence and your story, download and listen to this episode.   Bio: INTERNATIONAL KEYNOTE SPEAKER & BRAND STORYTELLER, MELANIE SPRING When we share our stories, we connect with each other at a deeper level. When we make friends with our fear, we can step into who we're meant to be. Working as a brand strategist with businesses of all sizes - from big brands like Five Guys to brand new entrepreneurs - for the past two decades, Melanie once drove 7,000 miles in 3 weeks on the Live Your Brand Tour to find out why great brands work. The HUMANS were at the center of everything. Along the way, she noticed that every human had a personal story to s...

    007 My Eponymous Fashion Line As A Love Letter to My Mother | Olivia Joffrey

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 10, 2020 41:59


    In the latest episode of About Your Mother, we have a conversation with Olivia Joffrey. Olivia owns an eponymous fashion line that serves as a love letter to her mother, Anne-Marie. Through osmosis, Olivia absorbed the colorful and artistic life that her mother has led — a life filled with sensory details, records, books, sand, and the ocean breeze. Imagine putting on a dress and transporting yourself to a different time and place- this is what Olivia's fashion line can do. The inspiration comes from her mother and her once vibrant life in Spain. In conversation, we discuss how her mother influenced her work, helped her find her passion, and we talk about the power of transcendent storytelling through various channels. My Mother, My Muse Olivia lets us in on her memories with her mother. She shares how, before being diagnosed with Alzhiemers, her mother had led colorful and free-spirited adventures. This served as an inspiration for Olivia to create a fashion line in her mother’s honor.  Olivia discusses how, despite being creative and artistic, her journey has been intentionally experimental to pursue something she has never done before. She continues to say she dedicates this line to her mother's grace and the expat life she has led while living in Spain. “The fashion line is really about grace and the kind of expat life my mom was leading in Spain in that time. Where you can throw on your dress, go out and carpe diem, and go to the market. Even go to the beach in the middle of the day and have your bathing suit on underneath. Really not become a studied fashion person. I like living and feeling good about myself. That's how these women that I observed growing up were. Not just my mom, but these other women who were just intrinsically stylish without trying.” - Olivia Joffrey My Mother’s Style: A Warm Hug Olivia opens up on her childhood, her mother's style and spirit, and how her mother raised her on a secretary's salary. She shares how her mother still managed to live her life to the fullest despite their finances. This was a life - full of sensory and beauty - that echoed throughout their home and paved the memories for her childhood. She continues to talk about her mother and how she has shaped the conviction of what she now loves, believes, and her life perspective. “Her style to me, it was really warm. It wasn't rigid. It was like a hug. When people came to our house for dinner, everything was fully on display. The way she cooked and welcomed people in. There was always really good homemade food and lots of wine and music on the record player. It was very atmospheric, despite her kind of salary. She raised me on like a secretary salary, basically. ” - Olivia Joffrey My Mother’s Bookshelf In this regard, Olivia discusses her process of storytelling and the times wherein her creative juices are the most prolific. She continues to talk fondly of her mother's memories and how the things she learned from her mother's bookshelf were vast. She talks about how the commerce side was not captivating to her but rather the making sense of a woman's life as a reader. “We loved each other a lot. The beautiful thing about that is that never dies. It can live in the clothes, it can live in these other things that carry her spirit...Click To Tweet To know more about Olivia’s story and how she shares her mother’s story through her fashion line, download and listen to this episode.  Bio: Olivia Joffrey tells a story through dresses. Our collection of refined leisurewear for women finds inspiration in mid-century Spain via California, and the imprint on both of these places on Olivia's adventurous mother. Our mission is to create elegant, seasonless clothes that delight the senses and simplify the art of dressing. We speak to a woman who values a polished look, but wants it with ease; she is a woman devoted to a life well-lived in her choice of leisure pursuits from surfing to reading to entertaining.

    006 Pursuit of Truth With A Capital T | Julie Barton Part 2

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 4, 2020 22:08


    We are in the second part of our series with the wonderful Julie Barton. In our previous episode, we talked about Julie's childhood memories and her path to becoming a New York Times bestselling author with her book, Dog Medicine: How My Dog Saved Me from Myself. Today, we explore what it feels like to achieve publication success, the reality of making it as a writer, and how to follow your passions. Getting to What's True Julie shares her feelings on the publication success of her book. Although she appreciates the fame that comes with it all, the satisfaction she felt stemmed from uncovering what was true for her and writing it in a way that people could understand her experience. Click To Tweet Realizing Everyone's Story is Important Julie gives her advice to people who want to write freely. She discusses how everyone's story is interesting. She encourages people to ignore the little voice in your head telling you that it's not good enough. The value is when you let go and let what's there rise to the top. She says that readers want to know what's real. They relate to a story when they see themselves in the writing. "The gold is just letting go enough to let what's really there rise to the top. So often ego just wants to edit and make it the way that we think it's supposed to be. When in fact, that's actually totally boring to a reader. What they really want is the juice. They want the real stuff. The stuff where they're like 'Oh my gosh, that's me but I've never been able to put it in words' or 'I've never been able to say it that way'. They relate to that feeling that's so interesting. You can't get there if you're constantly editing yourself." - Julie Barton Reconnecting with Nature Julie gives an overview of her upcoming memoir and the connection she has felt with the natural world. She shares a brief background on her journey to finding a spiritual awareness of nature and the environment. She wants to honor the healing connection she had with nature when she was little before the world told her it was unacceptable. She then goes to share her advice to aspiring writers. "If you feel that drive to write this evening, no matter what it is, do it little by little. It will start to come together. One of the most beautiful things in my writing practice has been the pursuit of truth with a capital T. This meant finding what was really true for me, what my experience was, and trying to crystallize that is a fascinating process." - Julie Barton To listen more to Julie's story and her pursuit of the truth, download and listen to this episode. Bio: Julie Barton is the New York Times bestselling author of DOG MEDICINE, HOW MY DOG SAVED ME FROM MYSELF (Penguin, 2016). She has a B.A. from Kenyon College, an M.F.A. in Writing from Vermont College of Fine Arts, and an M.A. in Women's Studies from Southern Connecticut State University. Julie has been published in Brain Child Magazine, The South Carolina Review, Louisiana Literature, Two Hawks Quarterly, Westview, The Huffington Post, and was nominated for a Pushcart Prize. She lives in Northern California with her husband Greg, two children, and small menagerie of pets. Connect with Julie! Web: ByJulieBarton Facebook: fb/JulieBarton Twitter: @juliebarton1111 Instagram: @juliehillbarton

    005 Crystalizing Your Experience Is A Fascinating Process | Julie Barton Part 1

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 3, 2020 31:49


    In this two-part series conversation with Julie Barton, New York Times bestselling author of the memoir, Dog Medicine: How My Dog Saved Me from Myself, we learn more about her book, battle with depression, and intricate family dynamic. In episode one, she shares her family's story and how Bunker transformed her life. Re-telling Their Story Julie shares her personal story and how this has led her to write a memoir of this magnitude. She let us in on her memories with her mother and inspired some of her writing of Dog Medicine. She recalls the day her dog, Bunker, passed away. Amazingly, she also shares how the next day heard him tell her to write their story. "The day after he died, I found out that I was a finalist in this fiction contest. I had never won the thing or been at all recognized for anything. So I got that email, and I looked it up - it was the day after I'd lost him. I just heard him say, 'tell our story, tell our story.' I remember thinking, I'll try. Then it took me another eight years to actually really sit down and do it or even start it. It was a very long process." - Julie Barton Relieving the Burden Julie opens up on how she approached her family and decided to ask them the questions she avoided her entire life. She shares how this experience for her was challenging, cathartic, and yet beautiful. Through her writing process, she looks at her past with a rearview mirror lens and accepts what happened in her childhood was not okay. She discusses how releasing blame helped unburden herself and was the healing she needed. Click To Tweet Beginning of Healing In this topic, Julie shares her memories of the first time she received Bunker. She opens up and shares how she and Bunker formed a reciprocal relationship on a deep, spiritual, and connected level. In addition, she also talked about her manuscript. She has gone from a small publishing house to a large one, and eventually, the New York Times bestsellers. Julie embarked on this emotional and fulfilling writing process with the hopes of reaching at least one girl who would read and relate to her story. "It was the first morning of my life where I woke up and I didn't feel dread sitting on my chest, like a big, huge weight. I thought that this is how it could feel to wake up. You don't have to wake up and feel like, 'Oh God, not another day.' I'll never forget it. Bunker was lying in my childhood bedroom that morning. The first morning he woke up next to me and I was just so blown away by what I had never noticed was actually always there." - Julie Barton To know more about Julie's story and her Cinderella publishing success, download and listen to this episode. Bio: Julie Barton is the New York Times bestselling author of DOG MEDICINE, HOW MY DOG SAVED ME FROM MYSELF (Penguin, 2016). She has a B.A. from Kenyon College, an M.F.A. in Writing from Vermont College of Fine Arts, and an M.A. in Women's Studies from Southern Connecticut State University. Julie has been published in Brain Child Magazine, The South Carolina Review, Louisiana Literature, Two Hawks Quarterly, Westview, The Huffington Post, and was nominated for a Pushcart Prize. She lives in Northern California with her husband Greg, two children, and small menagerie of pets. Connect with Julie! Web: ByJulieBarton Facebook: fb/JulieBarton Twitter: @juliebarton1111 Instagram: @juliehillbarton

    004 Embrace every moment as if it could be your last | Sugar Taylor

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 29, 2020 29:59


    In today's episode of About Your Mother, we speak with Sugar Taylor, a woman who exudes a ray of light. Sugar is a self-taught creative dynamo. She is a person who has battled anxiety and depression throughout her life and uses her creative energy as a means of healing. Her zest of life, spirit, resourcefulness, and all-around being will blow anyone away. Endless River Of Creativity Sugar briefly describes her personal story with her own mother. She shares how her mother continues to inspire her. Further, she hopes her story will encourage everyone to tap into their own creativity.  Additionally, she advises listeners to pay attention to the small things happening around their lives and within the universe.  It may take you a few months, but the only thing separating you from anything you want to make is the skill. Skills can be learned, but the talent is within you. - Sugar TaylorClick To Tweet "You have to accept that. It's about accepting that you have the talent first.” - Sugar Taylor Creative Process To Healing Sugar opens up and shares past experiences that led her to become the self-taught dynamo she is today. She discusses how the power of the mind can enable anyone to learn anything they set their mind to. Meditation, reading one’s body, and the creative process helped Sugar heal and work things out internally. She also mentions art therapy classes for those people who want to escape and carve out time in their lives to channel their creativity.  “The whole point is about carving out and making time for what makes you happy. It’s about what could potentially open your mind to something else. It can even be about healing and just about having a great deep conversation with other people.” - Sugar Taylor Opening Your Creative Power Sugar advises people who don’t believe they are creative beings. She says they need to step outside their negative mindsets and think of ways to discover the creative power inside. The personal journey of discovering one’s creativity can be difficult, but this can become an extension of happiness and contentment in life.  “I believe some people are naturally born savant and prodigies. They are just born amazing, but that doesn't mean that the rest of the population is not. You just have to figure out that one thing you want to do and be honest with yourself. This can be something you've always secretly been passionate about” -  Sugar Taylor To know more about how you can tap into your own creativity, listen to this episode.  Bio: Sugar Taylor is a self-taught multimedia designer.She has been living in her passion as a full-time multidisciplinary designer for the past 10 years, as the Co-Founder and Creative Director of the award-winning D.C based firm Taylor and Hov. Connect with Sugar! Web: Virtual Art Therapy Classes  Facebook: fb/SugarTaylorCo Instagram: @sugartaylorco Pinterest: Sugartaylorco

    003 A Breakthrough Inspired Me to Help Others | Sandra Possing

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 29, 2020 48:44


    In the third episode of About Your Mother, our guest, speaker, and mindset coach, Sandra Possing talks about how building an Unshakeable Foundation and unleashing their inner badass empowers a woman. They also discussed in this episode, Sandra's openness about her past and how it shaped her career path. Pay special attention to the part where she discusses the mind-altering Ayahuasca Experience. How to be Unshakeable Inner strength and resilience are needed to withstand all the hurdles in life. Sandra believes to build strength, you have to let go of "dead weight", learn from your past, and have self-awareness of your beliefs. With this in mind, she helps people develop their character and their strength with grace and dignity. "So if you picture this big oak tree during the middle of a chaotic storm ⁠— which is a beautiful metaphor for any kind of the chaos that's happening in the world ⁠— when you have these deeply rooted foundations that are holding you firm and strong in who you are, I would say connected to the earth figuratively and literally, then you can weather any storm. People can climb on you. Animals can climb on you. The weather, the wind, the lightning ⁠— you can weather all of those storms because the inner strength and the foundation are there." - Sandra Possing Unleashing your Inner Badass Sandra always wanted to help other people. Her selflessness and fear of becoming a disappointment became a hindrance to pursuing what she wanted out of her life. During her late 30s, she had multiple breakdowns that led her to a breakthrough. She refocused her life ⁠— starting from research, meeting up with other coaches, attending workshops, and, ultimately, progressing her personal development. "It was basically switching the whole paradigm that I'd been living my life in. Instead of looking outside of myself to tell me whom I'm supposed to be, what I'm supposed to do, what a normal person at my age is, and what their life is supposed to look like, I started actually asking myself, 'Well, what do you actually want?'" - Sandra Possing Coaching and Therapy Licensed psychiatrists help people with their mental health as they deal with the past and present issues to give people understanding and self-awareness of the things that weigh them down. Coaching, on the other hand, is more in the future, helping people achieve their goals, and figuring out what's next. "That's reminding me of the Toni Morrison quote, 'If you want to fly, you got to let go of the SHIT that weighs you down.' Therapy is one of many modalities for releasing the weight, releasing the things that we've been holding on to that's keeping us contracted, and by releasing that we become more light and we can fly away until our goals and our dreams." - Sandra Possing Bio: Sandra Possing is a speaker and mindset coach. She empowers high achieving, sensitive women to unleash their inner badass, develop unshakeable self-belief, and manifest their dream lives. Links: Sandra Possing Instagram: @sandrapossing Facebook: Sandra Possing Life Coach I hope you enjoyed this episode of About Your Mother! I love hearing from my listeners – feel free to email me, connect on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter, and subscribe on Apple Podcast!

    002 My Mother Inspired Me To Build Platforms To Empower Women And Girls | Lauri Levenfeld

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 29, 2020 35:51


    Our next guest for About Your Mother is Lauri Levenfeld. She is a playful spirit and has a never-ending commitment to the female voice. Jennifer and Lauri collaborated together in the past on projects, but most recently, Lauri debuted an award-winning film called Mad World. Using her distinctive eye and straightforward and real words, she has built platforms to share and extend the work of other women. Her inspiration came from none other than her mother. We hope you enjoy this conversation as Jennifer and Lauri talk about female empowerment/voices, the power of community and representation of female voices in Lauri’s film. In a world of perfect fairytales, Lauri Levenfeld embraces life’s fair share of mess and empowers women through art and storytelling.Click To Tweet Tribute to Lauri’s Mother Lauri describes her mom as one of the most giving, empathetic people she knows. Lauri shares how her mother always goes out of her way to make others feel good and lift them up. As a child, Lauri constantly experienced the incredible acts of love from her mom.  “My mom has no ego. She never took credit for anything she accomplished. Her intention and giving was just to give and her inspiration in life to care for others and make their lives as easy as possible.” - Lauri LevenfeldClick To Tweet Filming Mad World Jennifer describes how poignant and beautiful Lauri's ability was, to be able to create a film during the pandemic. With all of these restrictions around filmmaking, she applauded Lauri on crafting the film. She also went along her framework and intention based on her mother and crafted a film that gives a voice to women. “No matter where we are in life, we really have to hone in on our inner selves to propel us forward.” – Lauri LevenfeldClick To Tweet Looking Through Quarantine Differently Lauri also mentions in this episode how another friend,  Nicole Sassaman, curator and celebrity designer in LA., has helped her greatly to facilitate her ideas for Mad World. In fact, Nicole was a big proponent for looking at quarantine as a incubator,  as an actual asset and a positive place to hone ideas and concepts. “We both got together and said, let's just go for this.’ We want no fear approach. Whatever we're channeling, and whatever we come up with as a collaboration, we're going to go no holds barred. She really has that incredible way of looking at things...there's just nothing holding you back.”- Lauri Levenfeld To learn more about Lauri Levenfeld, filmmaker of Mad World and her creative journey in discovering herself and empowering women through her art, download and listen to this episode.  Bio:  Prolific creative, Lauri Levenfeld, is dedicated to creating visual narratives that inspire, celebrate, and promote conversation. Most recently, during COVID, Lauri produced the winner of Best Experimental Film at LAFA, Mad World.  Lauri was inspired by her mother to build communities and stories that empower women. Lauri founded The Project for Women and The Project for Girls in 2016 both emphasizing the influence and power of girls and women through her distinctive lens. She continues to produce fashion and portrait photography featured in publications such as Elle, Vogue, and Marie Claire. She most recently co-founded Project Mentor – a forum showcasing dynamic female leaders in fashion, technology, philanthropy, and entrepreneurship.    Links: Instagram: @laurilevenfeld @madworldfilm @project.mentor @theprojectforwomen Website: The Project for Women Project Mentor Best Experimental Film at LAFA Mad World Trailer

    001 My Single Mom Shaped My Destiny | Ronda Moulton

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 1, 2020 30:52


    In the first episode of About Your Mother, our host Jennifer Griffith speaks with guest and dear friend, Ronda Moulton. She is an award-winning Interior Designer who has her fair share of challenges for both personal and career life. Today, she talks about her childhood experiences and how it molded her path of acceptance and love. Ronda also shares how she learned to accept the responsibility of being a step-parent. Building a Future At the age of three, Ronda's parents separated, leaving her single mother to raise her. It wasn't easy for both of them. Through this, she envisioned her future to be different from her childhood. "It instilled in me that I'm going to take really good care of myself, whether it's my body, spirit. I'm going to make sure I marry one time, and I'm married forever. I'm going to have a career...she put dad through college and so again, a selfless act but then devastating to her own." - Ronda Moulton Career Choice Since 6th grade, Ronda knew she wanted to become an Interior Designer. On Career Day at school, she envisioned having famous clients and making a good living. She started working for well-known Interior Designer Barbara Leland. This ultimately confirmed that she was on the road to the right career path. "There's not just one perfect person for everybody, but I think my heart for it is big and that my perseverance in wanting to do better...and then the spiritual connection I feel I have with my clients." - Ronda Moulton Acceptance of Love Throughout her life, Ronda believed that she would never have kids but things didn't go as planned when she met her husband, who had a child from a previous relationship. Ronda's husband made her re-evaluate her "wants" in life and showed her how great of a parent he is. Although it was challenging being in a blended family, they made it work. Ronda said she would never trade it for anything. "After meeting him, something shifted where I looked at him and I thought, 'he's a really good dad.' He stuck around when he didn't have to and that's really why I fell in love with him because I could look at him and see the hole that my dad had left me and that he hadn't left for his son." - Ronda Moulton To learn more about award-winning Interior Designer, Ronda Moulton, her childhood and her journey towards acceptance and love, download and listen to this episode. Bio: Ronda went onto Washington State University where she received her Bachelor's Degree in Interior Design and from there worked and mentored under top designers in the field. In 2000, Studio RED was born, and it's been a fantastic journey ever since. Project sizes ranging from 4,000 - 14,000 SF homes to commercial office buildings and spaces, including the Bellevue Lexus store in Washington state. Ronda is a native to the Seattle area and currently resides in Las Vegas with her husband, two dogs, and a horse. Ronda has an incredible eye for design, style + styling, and intuitively knows what a space needs once spending some time in its context and extracting critical criteria from her clients. Links: Ronda Elaine Design Facebook: Ronda Elaine Design Studios Instagram: @rondaelainedesign Houzz.com/Ronda Elaine Design, LLC.   I hope you enjoyed this episode of About Your Mother! I love hearing from my listeners – feel free to email me, connect on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter, and subscribe on Apple Podcast!

    000 Welcome to the Podcast | About Your Mother

    Play Episode Listen Later May 7, 2020 1:37


    Welcome to our new podcast - About Your Mother, Where Your Story Begins. Host Jennifer Griffith is on a mission to celebrate and examine one of the most powerful and influential relationships in our lives: our relationship with our mother. The Power of Storytelling Each month, join Jennifer as she converses with compelling guests. She will unravel stories from their childhood and how their past shaped who they became. “It is a journey we all take, but each road we travel is different and that, to me, is the power of this kind of storytelling.” - Jennifer GriffithClick To Tweet Homage to Jennifer's Mother The podcast was born as Jennifer was writing her first book. It was an homage to her mother's young life. She tragically lost her parents so she grew up in an orphanage with her four siblings. “After completing my mother's story, my book grew. It transformed into a mother-daughter memoir exploring a family based on secrets and abandonment. In writing about the trauma my mother faced in her young life I realized the impact her childhood had on the way she raised me. The challenges I faced in my life were suddenly linked to hers.” - Jennifer Griffith Our Connection To Our Mothers We are connected to our mothers in profound ways. We live through their experiences - directly and indirectly. Through this podcast, Jennifer will navigate through the lives of the guests through the significant experiences they have with their mothers. “Do you know who your mother was before she was your mom? Do you know how her childhood shaped the way she raised you? Or her choice not to? In sharing our narratives with another - our celebrations, our failures, our shame, our dreams - we create a connection. We weave the fabric of our ancestral survival. We all have a story to tell and all of our stories matter. And all of our stories begin with hers.” - Jennifer Griffith To know more about the podcast, download and listen to this episode. I hope you enjoyed this episode of About Your Mother! I love hearing from my listeners - feel free to email me, connect on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter, and subscribe on Apple Podcast!

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