Podcasts about ocpd

Compulsive behavior is often dismissed as neurotic, but what if it's a deep call for connection and purpose? This post explores the redemptive potential of obsessive-compulsive personality traits—how they can become a source of meaning, growth, and compassion when understood properly.

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  Decision-making can be a huge stumbling block when you're trying to tackle hoarding, from cognitive overload to perfectionism and decision fatigue. In this episode, I unpack why making choices about our belongings feels so overwhelming, what can go wrong if we avoid it, and I share practical strategies to make the process more manageable. If you find yourself stuck in analysis paralysis or endlessly putting off decisions, this one's for you. Buy your copy of Everything You Need to Know About Hoarding by Dr Lynne Drummond at cambridge.org/EverythingHoarding, and get 20% off with the discount code HOARDING20. #ad Introduction to Decision Making and Hoarding Decision making as a common issue among hoarders Overwhelm and avoidance connected to belongings and acquiring new items Episode aims: understanding why decision making is hard, consequences of indecision, and strategies to help Why Decision Making is Difficult for People Who Hoard Cognitive Overload Too many items to process, making each choice feel monumental Resulting in avoidance and deferral of decisions Accumulation due to unresolved decisions Analysis Paralysis Being stuck analysing endless options and outcomes Difficulty prioritising and overthinking decisions Exhaustion from mental effort Information Processing Challenges Trouble prioritising urgency and importance Struggling to filter necessary versus unnecessary information Being trapped in unresolvable decision loops Emotional Barriers Perfectionism and fear of making the wrong decision Catastrophising possible negative outcomes All-or-nothing thinking relating to perfectionism Sentimental Attachment Struggles with emotional connection to items (gifts, memories) Difficulty discerning genuine sentimental value Fear of the Future Anxiety about future need or regret causing paralysis Preference for clinging to items over risking discomfort Executive Function Challenges Difficulties with planning, organising, prioritising, and initiating tasks Impact of poor working memory on decision making Consequences of Avoiding Decisions Vicious Cycle of Procrastination Accumulation of clutter, increased overwhelm and fatigue Practical Implications Safety hazards and restricted home usage Social isolation and relationship strain due to inability to host Emotional Impact Stress, depression, guilt, and shame Financial Consequences Extra spending, buying duplicates, damage or loss of items, missed bills and penalties Building Negative Self-Perceptions Belief in inability to decide reinforces avoidance Declining self-trust and self-esteem Strategies and Techniques for Improving Decision Making Identify Resistance and Mental Blocks Questioning internal "nope" responses Understanding fears or overwhelming factors behind avoidance Treat Decisions as Experiments Lowering pressure by seeing outcomes as learning experiences Avoiding a pass/fail mindset Make Micro-Decisions Starting with low-stakes, emotionally neutral items Building decision-making confidence ("decision muscle") Utilise Support Systems Seeking feedback or accountability from friends, family, organisers, or therapists Sense-checking and encouragement from others Clarify Values and Priorities Aligning decisions with personal goals (e.g., hospitality, functionality, beauty) Using values as a decision compass Set Time Limits Imposing limits per decision to prevent overthinking Adjusting duration as confidence improves Accept “Good Enough” Decisions Allowing for adequacy over perfection Challenging double standards around self-expectations versus others Reduce Number of Choices Limiting possible options (e.g., keep/throw/donate) Pre-determining criteria to streamline choices Reality Checks Probing feelings of “I might need it” with practical questions Reviewing usage frequency and functionality Increase Awareness of Avoidance Noticing procrastination and avoidance behaviours Evaluating the significance of indecision as a barrier Build Tolerance for Uncertainty and Discomfort Accepting that discomfort is part of life, and not deciding brings other difficulties Gradually practicing sitting with uncertainty Practice Consistency in Decision Making Incorporating daily decision-making habits Gently challenging avoidance and celebrating each choice made Decision-making is a learnable, improvable skill The importance of starting small and practicing imperfect decisions Building self-trust and confidence through repeated practice Encouragement to challenge avoidance and recognise growth with each decision Links Buy your copy of Everything You Need to Know About Hoarding by Dr Lynne Drummond at cambridge.org/EverythingHoarding, and get 20% off with the discount code HOARDING20. Podcast ep 172: Harriet Impey on clearing out her parents' very full home, through family belongings and personal growth, in the film Where Dragons Live Podcast ep 186: 10 executive dysfunction tips and tricks to help people who hoard, whether we have ADHD or are neurodivergent or not – Hoarding Awareness Week 2025 Podcast ep 183: ADHD, executive dysfunction and creating hacks and systems to reduce clutter chaos, with Carrie Lagerstedt Podcast ep 162: From Fibble to Focus: Defibble your executive dysfunction with Jo Cavalot Podcast ep 112: Executive function, executive dysfunction and hoarding with Dr Jan Eppingstall Podcast ep 149: ADHD, hoarding and clutter with Susie Boutal, ADHD and Declutter Coach Podcast ep 107: Things that look like hoarding but aren't: ADHD, depression, autism, OCD, OCPD and more Podcast ep 40: ADHD and hoarding with Dr Sharon Morein Podcast ep 182: What are “towards and away moves” and what on earth do they have to do with hoarding recovery? With Dr Jan Eppingstall Podcast ep 28: Avoid analysis paralysis by having ‘systems' Podcast ep 49: Sitting with discomfort: distress tolerance and hoarding – How unconscious distress avoidance might be worsening your problems Reasons to be Cheerful with Ed Miliband Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking Form Website: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding Become a Dehoarding Darling Submit a topic for the podcast to cover Questions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestions Instagram: @thathoarderpodcast Twitter: @ThatHoarder Mastodon: @ThatHoarder@mastodon.online TikTok: @thathoarderpodcast Facebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Pinterest: That Hoarder YouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Reddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subreddit Help out: Support this project Sponsor the podcast Subscribe to the podcast Subscribe to the podcast here

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ For Hoarding Awareness Week 2025, I'm focusing on executive function - the brain's control centre for planning, starting, and finishing tasks - and the small, practical hacks that can make a genuine difference for people who hoard, whether or not we have ADHD or are neurodivergent. I talk about real-life tips for breaking the overwhelm, managing perfectionism, building momentum, and overcoming shame, all with the aim of making progress sustainable and achievable in your day-to-day life. This episode is all about honest advice that actually works, whether you're in the thick of it or just looking for a few smarter ways to approach this. Hoarding Awareness Week 2025 and its theme: Hoarding & Executive Function Recognition that executive function challenges impact both neurodivergent and neurotypical people Executive Function and Hoarding Previous podcast episodes relating to executive function, ADHD, and hoarding Importance of using effective hacks and techniques, regardless of neurotype Emphasis on finding what works personally for each listener The Realities and Challenges of Tackling Hoarding Overwhelm and daunting feelings about dehoarding Breaking tasks into small, manageable parts Focus on actionable, day-to-day strategies rather than long-term, rigid planning Understanding Executive Function Explanation of what executive function is (control centre for planning, focus, and impulse control) Factors that can impair executive function (neurodivergence, mental health, stress, lack of sleep, etc.) Universality of executive dysfunction - everyone struggles at times Emotional Barriers: Perfectionism and Shame The cycle of shame and self-blame in executive dysfunction and hoarding Societal judgment around hoarding, and its paralysing effects Strategies for stepping back, naming emotions, and cultivating self-compassion Core Executive Dysfunction Tips and Hacks Breaking Tasks Down Setting realistic micro-goals The concept of “towards” vs. “away” moves in progress Tracking Progress Counting bags/items leaving the house Caution against tracking becoming burdensome for some Using Timers Setting short (e.g., 5-minute) timers to help with task initiation Use of voice assistants to avoid distraction Reverse-timer technique to use end of music/podcast as a cue for action The Two-Minute Rule Limitations and personal adaptations of rule Identifying Motivations Creating visual or written reminders of why you want to dehoard Acceptance of some tools working only temporarily, and switching when necessary Reward Systems Small, non-material rewards for completing tasks Linking listening to desired media (like the podcast) with decluttering activities Non-Negotiable Rules Creating routines to reduce decision fatigue (e.g., charity bags leave home immediately) Body Doubling Doing tasks alongside others (physically or virtually, like in the host's Zoom sessions) Emotional/moral support of parallel accountability Alternative ways to body double if group support isn't accessible Time Blocking and Scheduling Using calendars and reminders to schedule decluttering sessions Flexibly adapting this strategy based on personal response Habit Stacking Linking a new task to an established routine (e.g., unloading dishwasher while kettle boils) Using “add-ons” for frequently-visited spaces (e.g., clearing five things each time you enter the bathroom) Links Podcast ep 183: ADHD, executive dysfunction and creating hacks and systems to reduce clutter chaos, with Carrie Lagerstedt Podcast ep 162: From Fibble to Focus: Defibble your executive dysfunction with Jo Cavalot Podcast ep 112: Executive function, executive dysfunction and hoarding with Dr Jan Eppingstall Podcast ep 149: ADHD, hoarding and clutter with Susie Boutal, ADHD and Declutter Coach Podcast ep 107: Things that look like hoarding but aren't: ADHD, depression, autism, OCD, OCPD and more Podcast ep 40: ADHD and hoarding with Dr Sharon Morein Podcast ep 82: Dehoarding when you're drowning with KC Davis of Struggle Care Podcast ep 182: What are “towards and away moves” and what on earth do they have to do with hoarding recovery? With Dr Jan Eppingstall Podcast ep 184: What if we actually felt the feelings? An honest conversation about trauma, hoarding, and allowing yourself to feel Podcast ep 28: Avoid analysis paralysis by having ‘systems' Arielle and Ned's Daily Tips That May or May Not Help You Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking Form Website: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding Become a Dehoarding Darling Submit a topic for the podcast to cover Questions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestions Instagram: @thathoarderpodcast Twitter: @ThatHoarder Mastodon: @ThatHoarder@mastodon.online TikTok: @thathoarderpodcast Facebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Pinterest: That Hoarder YouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Reddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subreddit Help out: Support this project Sponsor the podcast Subscribe to the podcast Subscribe to the podcast here

 Explore the true motivations behind punishment, its impact on relationships and society, and learn how to cultivate awareness to prevent destructive tendencies. Discover healthier ways to handle conflict and promote genuine justice. This episode explores the evolutionary and archetypal sources of punishment, how it is subtly used to more selfish ends, and how we can use it more effectively. 

Send us a textEver double-checked that your door was locked, even though you knew it was? That momentary doubt is normal—but what happens when these urges become overwhelming and constant? Drawing distinct lines between everyday quirks and clinical conditions, we untangle the often confused Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD).The key distinction is profound: OCD manifests as intrusive, unwanted thoughts triggering repetitive behaviors to reduce anxiety. These thoughts feel foreign to the person experiencing them—what psychologists call "ego-dystonic." Despite recognizing their irrationality, people with OCD feel powerless to stop the cycle that consumes at least an hour daily. Most shocking is the 11-year average delay between symptom onset and treatment, largely due to shame and misdiagnosis.By contrast, OCPD represents a pervasive personality pattern centered on orderliness, perfectionism, and control. Unlike OCD, people with OCPD typically view their traits as rational or even virtuous—they're "ego-syntonic." This fundamentally different self-perception drives treatment differences: while OCD responds well to Exposure and Response Prevention therapy and medication, OCPD requires longer-term approaches focused on building flexibility and self-awareness.We examine how cultural context complicates recognition of OCPD, as traits like diligence and meticulousness often receive positive reinforcement. Someone might excel professionally while struggling significantly in relationships due to rigidity and control needs. Consider how our society's emphasis on productivity and perfection might blur the line between dedication and disorder—when do high standards become harmful?Whether you're a mental health professional seeking clarity or someone trying to understand these conditions better, this episode provides the framework to distinguish between unwanted symptoms and ingrained personality traits, guiding the path toward appropriate support and treatment. Want to know if you're ready for your Licensing Exam. Take our free exam today!If you need to study for your national licensing exam, try the free samplers at: LicensureExamsThis podcast is not associated with the NBCC, AMFTRB, ASW, ANCC, NASP, NAADAC, CCMC, NCPG, CRCC, or any state or governmental agency responsible for licensure.

Read the full transcript here. What is obsessive compulsive personality disorder (OCPD), and how does it compare to obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)? Why is it relatively prevalent and yet also relatively unheard-of? What can people with OCPD do well? What does OCPD feel like from the inside? Which fictional characters might have OCPD? How do people with OCPD typically engage with religion? How can you have better relationships with people in your life who have OCPD? What should you do if you think you or someone you know might have OCPD? What are some treatments for it that actually work?After struggling with the traits and symptoms of OCPD since childhood, Darryl Rossignol spent a decade deconstructing his own personality disorder and putting the pieces back together. In 2015, he launched a YouTube channel to document his journey. Within a few years, the project had reached tens of thousands of people in need. By 2022, the need for more was clear. With the assistance of some of the top OCPD mental health professionals, he was able to launch The OCPD Foundation. This foundation is now dedicated to assisting those with OCPD to successfully find the help that they need. Watch Darryl's videos on YouTube, learn more about OCPD at ocpd.org, or email Darryl at darryl@ocpd.org. StaffSpencer Greenberg — Host / DirectorJosh Castle — ProducerRyan Kessler — Audio EngineerUri Bram — FactotumWeAmplify — TranscriptionistsIgor Scaldini — Marketing ConsultantMusicBroke for FreeJosh WoodwardLee RosevereQuiet Music for Tiny Robotswowamusiczapsplat.comAffiliatesClearer ThinkingGuidedTrackMind EasePositlyUpLift[Read more]

In this episode we explore the profound though often unseen energy that leads to either wholeness or compulsive behavior. If this energy is blocked from its true goal, it make make us unbalanced. Discover Carl Jung's insights on compulsive behavior and how blocked growth can lead to obsession. Learn how to unlock your potential through individuation.

Insecurity underlies many of the mental health challenges we all experience, as if we are always taking a test and always fearing failure. But what causes this insecurity and how do we become more secure? In this episode we explore the three most common aspects of insecurity (feeling unlovable, morally deficient, or lacking incompetence), the parental, environmental and cultural causes, the strategies we enlist to deal with the insecurity, and three steps to move toward healthy security.  

Life is not easy, and we actually make it harder if we imagine we can sashay through it effortlessly. But we can also make life more difficult than it needs to be by imagining that the path forward is steeper than it really is. In this post I explore the effect of "Mountain Mirage," its causes and its cures. 

To have a good relationship we need to learn to speak the love languages that our partner can understand and feel. This can be particularly uncomfortable for people who are obsessive-compulsive, because they are most familiar with one particular language. But learning a new language is always good, and the energy and determination that come with being obsessive-compulsive can help you to learn it.

Whatever the motivation for withholding forgiveness, it often hurts the holder more than it hurts the offender. And as I'll show in this episode, not forgiving may be part of a larger mindset which blocks not just connection with that one person, but also a more fulfilling life.

Some of us live by our lists. We do whatever they tell us to do. Others dig their heels in and rebel against whatever chores have been assigned there. But who makes the list? Whoever does determines the power of lists to make our lives miserable or fulfilling.

This month, Kristi Kleinschmit, MD, is back to talk to host Paul Wirkus, MD, FAAP, about Obsessive-compulsive disorder in pediatric patients. They will discuss OCPD and OCD and share tips for what to look for in your patients. Have a question? Email questions@vcurb.com. Your questions will be answered in week four.Want more information about Common Problems in Pediatrics, June 3-4, 2025? Register now. For more information about available credit, visit vCurb.com.ACCME Accreditation StatementThis activity has been planned and implemented in accordance with the accreditation requirements and policies of the Colorado Medical Society through the joint providership of Kansas Chapter, American Academy of Pediatrics and Utah Chapter, AAP.  Kansas Chapter, American Academy of Pediatrics is accredited by the Colorado Medical Society to provide continuing medical education for physicians. AMA Credit Designation StatementKansas Chapter, American Academy of Pediatrics designates this live activity for a maximum of 1.0 AMA PRA Category 1 Credits™. Physicians should claim only the credit commensurate with the extent of their participation in the activity.

It might feel right at times to be all fired up and plowing through a messy house as if it were about to be condemned as inhabitable by the town, fixing errors in a discombobulated spreadsheet like your life depended on it, or planning every detail of your daughter's 10th birthday party so that she's guaranteed a spot on the social registry. But if you can't turn that fire down, you're going to burn up and burn out. I mean this physically and medically. Engaging in urgency on a regular basis will take it's toll on your physical health. Join me in this episode as we look at the effects of obsessive thinking and compulsive behavior on your physical well-being, and what you can do about it. 

It's human nature to have standards and to compare, but this tendency can go rogue and unleash harsh judgments on others—with results completely contrary to the original intentions. I have found it helpful to explore what triggers our judgment and to see what impact it has on the other person and ourselves as well. If we can learn to identify our motivations, acknowledge our shadow, try to understand what others go through and look at the impact judging has, we will be better equipped when we are tempted to judge others. 

While I find parts of the Tao Te Ching baffling, exasperating and mystifying, Lao Tzu's encouragement to accept things as they are still conveys an attitude toward life that I find to be a good counterpoint to my driven nature. Since Taoist wisdom can be especially useful to people who are compulsive, perfectionist, and obsessive, I thought it might be helpful for me to share how this enduring and poetic book has helped me.

People with compulsive and obsessive tendencies tend to hold on to things—money, objects, time and ideas. We imagine that these things we hold on to make us more secure. But too often they bring us more stress than security. Some of the things we hold on to constitute our identity and worth. These are sacred cows in the worst sense—traits that we feel we can't question much less let go of. And these cows are a heavy burden to carry. We'll start with a story from the Buddha, explore scarcity mindset, and talk about two examples of women struggling with their sacred cows. Finally, we'll discuss how letting go of sacred cows can lead to more fulfillment.  lMB8tObSEfl1xD1abKMe

In this episode I talk about OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder), and how it relates to eating disorders. I discuss what OCD is, OCD vs OCPD, less known manifestations including 'pure O', OCD-ED and whether or not an eating disorder can be viewed as a form of OCD. Link to article mentioned: 'Ethical Orthorexia', Veganism & Moral Rigidity In Eating Disorders Website: letsrecover.co.uk

One way to free ourselves from unhealthy compulsive behavior is to understand our motivations, what drives and actually controls us. While we're all unique, there are ancient and common patterns that underlie the roles we take on in life such as mother, father, warrior, healer, savior, priest, jester, caretaker and leader. These patterns are known as archetypes, and they're illustrated in myths and symbols. These patterns exert a magnetic influence that can give us intuitive guidance and energy to help us do what we need to do. Or they can drag us into a perpetual rut of expectations and despair. Heroic energy can flow freely like water, or be frozen and rigid like ice. 

Self control does have some benefits for relationships. But it also has dangers. If your self-restraint keeps you from expressing positive and intimate feelings, it may leave your partner feeling disconnected and unloved, which doesn't encourage them to express their feelings either, and then things start to go downhill quickly. But if you can be more intentional in using your self control to actually express more, the relationship is more likely to thrive.  

Few of us make it through life without ever getting defensive.  Shields are universal and archetypal. But, at the risk of being dramatic, how defensive we get can dramatically affect our relationships and careers. Some people keep their Shield of protection up almost all the time. Others ram it into the other person's face. Both of these can severely limit not just relationships and work, but, as we'll see, your psychological growth as well. This episode explores the differences between being defensive, and appropriately defending ourselves, with examples, and suggestions for being less defensive and for handling the defensiveness of others. 

Get your 2025 decluttering inspiration calendar: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/2025  Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ 

Most people get happier as they reach their 50s, 60s and 70s. But people who are obsessive, compulsive and perfectionistic may miss out on the potential benefits. Their default strategy of control can block the those benefits, and leave them metaphorically pushing a rock up a hill, only to have it come crashing down again. The solution is to relinquish some control and welcome all the aging has to offer. 

Join your host, Nicole Morris, LMFT and Mental Health Correspondent, for Part V of our 3rd Annual OCRD Series to chat about Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD) with Dr. Anthony Pinto, Ph.D., group co-facilitator, Isabelle Siegel, and OCPD Warrior, Mark. We focus on the characteristics of OCPD, challenges and treatment approaches for both individual and group therapy. Mark shares about his lived experience on work-life balance, relationships and overall quality of life. Dr. Pinto and Isabelle provide an overview of the main skills practiced in OCPD groups, and Mark highlights how these skills have impacted his road to recovery. Lastly, we have tips for the family members and loved ones to both cheer on and care for themselves. So join the conversation!

Between figuring out motherhood, entrepreneurship, adventuring & life after divorce, Ashlynn guides others to break free from their past and embrace a bold future. Through her transformative programs & global retreats, she ignites the spark of possibility in women ready to rewrite their stories. Follow her on instagram Mentor with her at HERE Dr. Bethany Walker is a licensed clinical psychologist based in the Chicago suburbs. In her solo private practice, Boldly You Psychotherapy, she specializes in treating Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder in teens and adults. Her mission is to promote psychological flexibility and bravery in people who are rigid or stuck. FOLLOW HER ON INSTAGRAM CONTACT HER HERE --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ashlynn-allen/support

Sitting still and watching their breathe may be the last thing most driven, perfectionist, and obsessive-compulsive people want to do. But it might be one of the most helpful things they can do. The benefits of mindfulness meditation for just about everyone have been well documented. In this post I'll explore some of the particular benefits for people who feel a constant need to fix, produce and resolve.  

Frugality can be a blessing or a curse. It can provide for you practically and prepare you for rough times. But it may also cost you emotionally. It can leave you stingy, obsessed, and austere. Knowing whether it's helpful or harmful for you requires that you know your own tendencies; Too withholding? Too indulgent? If you want to sort this out, it also helps to know your motivations. This isn't just about a bottom line. Depending on why you are being frugal, it can work for or against you. In this episode we'll listen in on an imagined therapy session with Franklin, whose frugality is causing conflict in his family and within himself. We will also explore the pros and cons of 4 different motivations for being frugal, and the scientific research about how money affects our well-being. 

Since people with obsessive-compulsive personality traits often feel that the right thing is to hold on to money, time, objects and compliments, they may miss out on the benefits of generosity. And since they tend to get engrossed in goals, projects, and fixing things, they may neurologically wire themselves into a narrow focus which excludes generosity. I can't guarantee you'll feel happier if you engage in large or small acts of kindness, but I do believe there is a very good chance that you will at least feel like your life has more meaning—and, silver lining for the compulsive—you'll feel like you have more control over your mood.

We like to think of ourselves as rational beings, behaving in accord with reasonable ideals. But we resort to rationalization and self-deception far more often than we may want to know. The results include anxiety, failure to be fulfilled, and conflict with others who are just as convinced that they're more reasonable than the other guy. This calls for honest self-reflection. But since reflecting on every little thing we do isn't a workable solution, let's start small and look at the ways we might justify trying to be perfect. 

When we have difficult decisions to make, it is as if we come to a crossroads and the choice becomes loaded with extra pressure. If we can recognize when we've entered this territory, and reflect on our decision-making process--rather than the content--we can feel more comfortable with our decisions, and improve our ability to be more decisive. Confidence in this process doesn't come from knowing we will get it right, but that we can handle whatever comes up. 

People pleasing and obsessive-compulsive personality occur together far more than many might think. Some people heroically put all their determination and perfectionism into making other people happy with the assumption that it will come back to them in love, support or affirmation. It often does not happen that way. In fact, it can backfire. 

The world can be really annoying. But we can question how annoyed we need to be. And examining our response can lead us to understand lots about ourselves. It could even make us happier. What do we expect of the world, and how do we handle it when it doesn't meet our standards? This isn't just about letting others off the hook, but an investigation into how we spend our energy, the quality of our relationships, and whether our priorities and our behavior match up.

Perfectionism has gotten a bad rap. Used well, it can serve us and others very well. Used badly, it kills the spirit. Perfectionism that feels necessary will grab and strangle you. Perfectionism that is simply desired can be very fulfilling. And watch where you bring it: it fits better in some arenas that others. 

The archetype of the Saint can draw people with obsessive-compulsive personality to a life of devotion—even if that devotion is not standard religious fare. Righteousness can become so pronounced that they—and those around them—can hear nothing other than that siren call to perfection. Religion is then used as justification for rigidity. The draw is understandable, because it seems to them so clear that being religious is the right thing to do. None of this is to dismiss the value of religion, but as encouragement to sort out a true spiritual calling from an unconscious need to prove that you have good character. 

We've all got a monster hiding under our bed: shame, fear, depression, or anger we feel we need to avoid. And we often try to avoid it with urgency: getting things done, fixing, and producing, always staying so focused on speed and efficiency that we lose site of what's most important. In this episode Gary explores the questionable strategy of urgency and how to return to the things that give our lives meaning. 

For some of us chaos is disturbing on a deep level. And it's often beyond our control. But the question is whether the chaos is just out there in the outer world, or in our inner world. Our assessment and our reaction to it determine partly just how chaotic it is. In this episode Gary shares some of his own personal experiences with chaos and how he has dealt with them. 

Living with urgency and living with ease are two opposite approaches to life.   If asked which we prefer, most of us would say ease, but few of us actually live that way. Join me in this episode to explore our surprising resistance to ease, the unhealthy side effects of urgency, and suggestions for how to transition from a life of urgency to a life of ease. 

Alegra Kastens (Books, Looks, and Lobotomies) is a licensed therapist, OCD specialist, and writer. Alegra joins the Armchair Expert to discuss the difference between OCD and OCPD, what having onset OCD is like, and how some compulsive behaviors can be contagious. Alegra and Dax talk about what some of the misinformation is around OCD, what the difference between habitual and obsessive behaviors are, and how OCD is related to other compulsive disorders. Alegra discusses OCD showing up in dreams, the ineffectiveness of thought suppression, and the importance of accepting that you have OCD thoughts. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Alegra Kastens (Books, Looks, and Lobotomies) is a licensed therapist, OCD specialist, and writer. Alegra joins the Armchair Expert to discuss the difference between OCD and OCPD, what having onset OCD is like, and how some compulsive behaviors can be contagious. Alegra and Dax talk about what some of the misinformation is around OCD, what the difference between habitual and obsessive behaviors are, and how OCD is related to other compulsive disorders. Alegra explains how she often has dreams about her intrusive thoughts, the effectiveness of thought suppression, and the importance of accepting that you have OCD thoughts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Stop thinking you're supposed to be smelling the roses when you know that planting and managing the garden is what really makes you happy. Wouldn't it be nice to be happy? I suspect that most of my listeners would agree, but find that as hard as turning off the sun. It feels out of our control. Everything that's unresolved, imperfected and out-of-order are exposed to the light whether we want to see it or not. I think that to the degree that we can control it, it requires a different approach than the one that's often suggested—or perhaps I should say, an additional approach that doesn't go against popular wisdom, but takes into account the psychological territory we're in.  So, in this podcast I will make some realistic suggestions about how people with compulsive and perfectionistic tendencies, planning and list-making in particular,  can work with those to achieve some degree of happiness.  

Today we are covering a very misunderstood disorder and the very small space it has overlapped with the criminal justice system. We explain what Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is NOT and review the many faces of OCD including Harm OCD, Pedophilia OCD, and Relationship OCD. We also get into some interesting cases in which defense teams' experts have tried to use OCD as an excuse for criminal behavior.CrimeCon UK September 2024: TicketsBerkshire Podcast Festival October 2024: TicketsYou can find all of our resources on our website: https://www.la-not-so-confidential.com/ L.A. Not So Confidential is proud to be part of the Crawlspace Media Network

Some people are reluctant to go to therapy for fear of wasting their time there. Others may already be in therapy but fear they are wasting their time. This is understandable for the many compulsives who feel strongly about being efficient and effective. But you can go to therapy and use your time there wisely.  To help listeners make the most of therapy I've outlined some of the most important tools to make sure that you don't waste your time there—and so that you don't feel like you're wasting time when you're actually doing good work!

Beneath our everyday surface anxieties are deeper more substantial fears, core fears that control our behavior and affect our mood more than we imagine. If we can identify these core fears, and learn to stare them down, they have less power over us. To do this we need to also identify our coping strategies, the ones that allow us to temporarily escape these fears by controlling, overworking, people pleasing or obsessing.  Once we do so, we can pursue our passions rather than just avoid our fears. 

Seriousness is a questionable virtue. A least for those of us who tend want to have everything a certain way, need to have things resolved, and have a hard time delegating because no-one else will do it as well. When we get stuck in this mode, we need help to let go and appreciate life as it is. One character who has been doing this for thousands of years in the archetype of the Fool. The more we tend to reject his qualities, the more we need them. Seeing his image can help us to find those qualities inside of us and achieve a better balance in life.  

So, you love your partner and you can see that what they're doing holds them back. Should you tell them what they're doing wrong? In this episode we will explore the impact of telling your partner what to change, the motivations involved, the best way to do it, and others ways to support your partner in their growth. 

In this episode we explore a specific kind of gaslighting that takes place when one partner is domineering and/or perfectionist. Whether the perfectionist partner intends to or not, they may leave their partner feeling like there is something defective about them. I call this moral gaslighting and it's both painful for the partner, and keeps the perfectionistic partner locked in a delusion of superiority.  Unlike classic gaslighting though, moral gaslighting may have a very different motivation, and understanding that motivation can help to improve the situation. 

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Parenting for Type A, driven, ambitious, high-achieving and obsessive-compulsive parents requires a different approach than the one we usually bring to our lives. Rather than pushing it requires waiting, in addition to work it requires play, and rather than achievement it requires connection. And because we don't always come across as we think we do, our children may experience us as being more demanding than we actually are. Both Type A parents and their children will find this informative. Please join us for this research-based exploration of the perils and potentials of the obsessive-compulsive parent. 

If you've ever wanted to tell people or the world to shut up, back off, and quite pressuring you, you may have experienced Demand Resistance. This can be effective, but in some cases it might mean that you don't get your emotional needs met. Understanding what motivates you to protest, rebel or go on strike is an essential step in learning to use resistance skillfully. 

This episodes discusses the differences between and nuances of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD).