Keep Calm And Cauliflower Cheese

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A whimsical journey through an eccentric Butler's mind indulging in banter on Planet Carb.

Keep Calm And Cauliflower Cheese


    • May 28, 2025 LATEST EPISODE
    • weekly NEW EPISODES
    • 40m AVG DURATION
    • 429 EPISODES


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    Latest episodes from Keep Calm And Cauliflower Cheese

    Baking soda and vinegar inflated condoms, one finger salute whilst grasping a banana in clay, would you like a cuppa tea?

    Play Episode Listen Later May 28, 2025 43:26


    Baking soda and vinegar inflated condoms, one finger salute whilst grasping a banana in clay, would you like a cuppa tea?

    Queque Arse cracks at the Moonport, Hairy Kiwi skin,Hangover Museum, Girthy Wotsit’s.

    Play Episode Listen Later May 28, 2025 34:22


    Queque Arse cracks at the Moonport, Hairy Kiwi skin,Hangover Museum, Girthy Wotsit's.

    Breaking News-Spurs Win! Sting’s Herculean challenge at Red Rocks.

    Play Episode Listen Later May 28, 2025 36:56


    Breaking News-Spurs Win! Sting's Herculean challenge at Red Rocks.

    Smooth Uber, enlargement cream, Hair Lube, Hot Meat injector, Collins crush, Venison Dog Food tasting.

    Play Episode Listen Later May 12, 2025 50:06


    Smooth Uber, enlargement cream, Hair Lube, Hot Meat injector, Collins crush, Venison Dog Food tasting.

    Bridal Stump, Rattlesnake Mega-Den, Mini Crochet hook

    Play Episode Listen Later May 12, 2025 36:08


    Bridal Stump, Rattlesnake Mega-Den, Mini Crochet hook

    Linen suit, The In-betweener Store, The Benedict Effect, Faceman, A-Team Dental

    Play Episode Listen Later May 12, 2025 28:48


    Linen suit, The Inbetweener Store, The Benedict Effect, Faceman, A-Team Dental

    Old Boy Charcuterie board, Egg in a Tea Kettle, Lusty MadLibs, Black Licorice Sling shot, Toilet Golf, Airplane Radio Show.

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 21, 2025 51:38


    Old Boy Charcuterie board, Egg in a Tea Kettle, Lusty MadLibs, Black Licorice Sling shot, Toilet Golf, Airplane Radio Show.

    Jumping Spiders, Blue Balls of Death, Banned Easter Egg hunt, You never win an argument, taking the piss out of Brit Teeth, Rory the randy Bus driver

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 21, 2025 35:17


    Jumping Spiders, Blue Balls of Death, Banned Easter Egg hunt, You never win an argument, taking the piss out of Brit Teeth, Rory the randy Bus driver

    Old Fish Friday, The Mullet and the Merkin, the Golden toilet heist

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 21, 2025 33:40


    Old Fish Friday, The Mullet and the Merkin, the Golden toilet heist

    The 17th Century Agony Aunt, British Polite-ism’s, Gen Z Americans love of Brit slang

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 14, 2025 36:24


    The 17th Century Agony Aunt, British Polite-ism's, Gen Z Americans love of Brit slang

    The wild peeing golfer, Drugged Salmon,Dominant Yoda, Madam Discipline

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 14, 2025 34:24


      The wild peeing golfer, Drugged Salmon,Dominant Yoda, Madam Discipline

    Penis seen from space, Guinness records hairiest face, Referees Testicle Bitten, Butter stick for lips

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 31, 2025 33:06


    Penis seen from space, Guinness records hairiest face, Referees Testicle Bitten, Butter stick for lips

    Banana Pudding Ice Cream, The Belgian Detective Mustache,Poor sleeping and conspiracy theories, Chauffeur Secrets

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 31, 2025 32:26


    Banana Pudding Ice Cream, The Belgian Detective Mustache,Poor sleeping and conspiracy theories, Chauffeur Secrets

    Monkey tail Bananas, Bobbing for Brussels, Bourbon Water Pick, American Foods a British man would hate.

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 2, 2025 73:56


    Monkey tail Bananas, Bobbing for Brussels, Bourbon Water Pick, American Foods a British man would hate.  

    A thick Fisherman’s jumper, Spornosexuals, Sheep cuddling, Marmalade festival

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 2, 2025 32:28


    A thick Fisherman's jumper, Spornosexuals, Sheep cuddling, Marmalade festival

    Manilow saved my trousers, Elephantiasis in the trousers, Dad bod destroyer

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 2, 2025 31:06


    Manilow saved my trousers, Elephantiasis in the trousers, Dad bod destroyer

    Crumbly Dog Poo, Bison Belly, Egg extra, Presidents as Wrestlers.

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 21, 2025 34:54


    Crumbly Dog Poo, Bison Belly, Egg extra, Presidents as Wrestlers.

    Beige on Beige : “have you joined a cult?” Being Spurs, Spy Peacoat

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 21, 2025 35:15


    Beige on Beige : "have you joined a cult?" Being Spurs, Spy Peacoat

    The Perfect Glove, Starbucks with no Loo roll, Snow laden Rats love Jazz,Missus turned into a Toffee Crisp.

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 20, 2025 33:38


    The Perfect Glove, Starbucks with no Loo roll, Snow laden Rats love Jazz,Missus turned into a Toffee Crisp.

    Curry Vs Furry, Plums and Gums, The Role playing dentist, a Kissing career, Hawking and King Charles Toes.

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 20, 2025 32:17


    Curry Vs Furry, Plums and Gums, The Role playing dentist, a Kissing career, Hawking and King Charles Toes.

    Cadbury Cream Eggs and Soldiers, Snow Angels on the Radio,It’s Bananas with a Long Monkey tail,The Reverse Strip-tease

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 20, 2025 60:46


    Cadbury Cream Eggs and Soldiers, Snow Angels on the Radio,It's Bananas with a Long Monkey tail,The Reverse Strip-tease

    Chappy in a Haunted British Wood at Christmastime Part Two

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 20, 2025 73:21


    Chappy in a Haunted British Wood at Christmastime Part Two

    Corporate Weirdos Incorporated, The smell of an expensive cigarette, intrusive scanning, a hairy European blockage

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 13, 2025 32:45


    Corporate Weirdos Incorporated, The smell of an expensive cigarette, intrusive scanning, a hairy European blockage

    McCartney, Great days, The reclined passenger, Musky Crack.

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 13, 2025 33:14


    McCartney, Great days, The reclined passenger, Musky Crack.

    The Bestest Bread Rolls, Turkey Trots, the least festively frisky tunes,Brown Friday

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 13, 2024 32:41


    The Bestest Bread Rolls, Turkey Trots, the least festively frisky tunes,Brown Friday

    ohhhh Ozempic, How should one wipe? The Dull Mans club

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 13, 2024 30:35


    ohhhh Ozempic, How should one wipe? The Dull Mans club

    Failed Roomba Election predictor, How awful is my hearing? A new way to efficiently peel a potato.

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 18, 2024 43:21


    Failed Roomba Election predictor, How awful is my hearing? A new way to efficiently peel a potato.

    The Drug that altered my mind, Turkey in a pillow case, The phallic Turkey moistener

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 18, 2024 31:51


    The Drug that altered my mind, Turkey in a pillow case, The phallic Turkey moistener

    Man in Thong, Whale Tails all the way!Tea Bag sling-shot

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 28, 2024 59:14


    Man in Thong, Whale Tails all the way!Tea Bag sling-shot

    Arnie’s Wood, Egg bound, Crazy Corgi’s

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 28, 2024 34:13


    Arnie's Wood, Egg bound, Crazy Corgi's

    The worlds oldest cheese, Cheese sniffing through a sock, The cheese connoisseur

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 11, 2024 30:29


    The worlds oldest cheese, Cheese sniffing through a sock, The cheese connoisseur

    Men and shopping, Men and breasts, A Vicars orgy

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 11, 2024 32:30


    Men and Shopping, Men an Breasts, A Vicars Orgy

    Testing the integrity of the American Versus the British Zipper/Flies. Hostages and Sausages

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 30, 2024 36:31


    Testing the integrity of the American Versus the British Zipper/Flies. Hostages and Sausages

    Chappy in Vegas: the dodgy flight, my bad Karaoke, lovely people!

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 30, 2024 37:34


    Chappy in Vegas: the dodgy flight, my bad Karaoke, lovely people!

    Vegas Cherry Popped, Bathing with a Corgi, Randy Andy, What’s in your Pantry?

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 20, 2024 34:25


    Vegas Cherry Popped, Bathing with a Corgi, Randy Andy, What's in your Pantry?

    Underwear shopping, Bottom lifting cream, reversing and eradicating twelve superstitions on Friday 13th!

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 15, 2024 49:14


    Underwear shopping, Bottom lifting cream, reversing and eradicating twelve superstitions on Friday 13th!

    The Pizza Pull, Sophie Concert,Bears coming out of Hibernation,Radio Jenga, Sausage on a hefty power tool.

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 15, 2024 39:46


    The Pizza Pull, Sophie Concert,Bears coming out of Hibernation,Radio Jenga, Sausage on a hefty power tool.

    Spicy Chap,Text in bed, Tator Tot obsession renewed,Reckless Driving podcast.

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 2, 2024 38:10


      Spicy Chap,Text in bed, Tator Tot obsession renewed,Reckless Driving podcast.

    I should not wear White Trousers, Doobie Brothers concert, Radishes

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 2, 2024 38:28


    I should not wear White Trousers, Doobie Brothers concert, Radishes

    Genius Underwear, Orange Juice Millionaire,Bad Etiquette, #furrynation, The Chappy Chase

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 25, 2024 45:03


    Genius Underwear, Orange Juice Millionaire,Bad Etiquette, #furrynation, The Chappy Chase

    Ice Cream Vs Gelato, No over-whipping, healthier to sleep in the nude

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 25, 2024 31:59


    Ice Cream Vs Gelato, No over-whipping, healthier to sleep in the nude

    Chicago Stuffed Pizza, Kenny Sax and voice, Boney Headphones

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 13, 2024 28:37


    Chicago Stuffed Pizza, Kenny Sax and voice, Boney Headphones

    Jumping a five bar gate whilst loose, Uber ratings, Resurgence of Cantaloupe, an Overpraised American

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 13, 2024 32:01


    Jumping a five bar gate whilst loose, Uber ratings, resurgence of Cantaloupe, an overpraised American

    Queen Bee and Queens Purse, the lost Kangaroo, Unsuccessful Chocolate taster

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 3, 2024 29:27


    Queen Bee and Queens Purse, the lost Kangaroo, Unsuccessful Chocolate taster

    Dr Who..Dr Ear Wax,Colonoscopy, Taxidermed Owls

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 3, 2024 34:54


    German Toe nail clippers, Indian hot Vindaloo

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 27, 2024 35:32 Transcription Available


    German Toe nail clippers, Indian hot Vindaloo

    The Rona,Pig worm Butt,BO Uber driver, Toilet wing mirrors, Melty Choc-ice

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 27, 2024 30:30 Transcription Available


    The Rona,Pig worm Butt,BO Uber driver, Toilet wing mirrors, Melty Choc-ice

    The Great Sausage Euro 2024 prediction game.

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 14, 2024 41:29 Transcription Available


    The Great Sausage Euro 2024 prediction game.

    An English Dental philosophy, The 4th July Face-off 250 years later! Dog Ear plugs, Early rooting.

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 14, 2024 29:43 Transcription Available


    An English Dental philosophy, The 4th July Face-off 250 years later! Dog Ear plugs, Early rooting.

    The Eurovision Wrong contest, Soothsayer Soccer games: predictions through Cured meats and Cheese!

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 30, 2024 45:19


    The Eurovision Wrong contest, Soothsayer Soccer games: predictions through Cured meats and Cheese!

    A line to the Men’s bathroom! Dog hates cheap Cheese, Short shorts, My Pacific Ocean Pirouette.

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 30, 2024 33:28


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