Outer Circle Inner Stillness

What can we learn about the inner life from a 2005 epic film about the Crusades?Check out our discussion and find out!Rhys and Caleb delve deep into their loves of story, film, history, faith, and the journey towards inner peace to unpack the layers of meaning in this highly under-rated director's cut of a Ridley Scott film.The story is simple - follow the lowly blacksmith Balian as his long lost knight-of-a-father reclaims him and ushers him into the crusades. Travel to Jerusalem, supposedly the source of all healing and forgiveness, and the much disputed jewel in the eyes of Christian and Muslim empires. Wrestle with the wildly opposing kingdoms hidden amongst each other.A kingdom of earth, of power, of wealth, and violence.A kingdom of conscience, and peace, that grows in the heart of any one will slow down to recognize it.We tackle faith, trauma, racism, mindfulness, and the difficult journey of being a peaceful person. Listen along and let us know what you think!The Outer Circle Inner Stillness channel is made possible through likes, shares, reviews, and financial support from its patrons and friends. One-time donations can be made on Venmo at @newpatterncounseling, and regular membership and support can be done through patreon.com/outercircle. Rhys can be found through his practice at www.newpatterncounseling.com.Caleb can be found through his practice at www.calebkellercounselingpllc.net.All honest questions and vulnerable feelings welcome. We'd love to hear from you!

Healing takes many forms, and many of those forms combine well to bring out their best parts! Elizabeth's healing journey has taken her through the 12 Steps, naturopathic healing, eastern medicine, and Christianity. Through her own journey of healing and learning to love herself, she has also learned much about healing others.In our conversation today, I add in my own experiences of Recovery, the 12 Steps, Orthodox Christianity, and we talk about the daily practices in all areas of our life that we need for good growth.Listen along for insightful and practical perspectives from a unique and wonderful combination of healing traditions!The Outer Circle Inner Stillness is made possible by support from listeners, patrons, likes, and shares. To learn more about how to support the podcast, visit www.patreon.com/outercircle. Rhys Pasimio can be found through www.patreon.com/outercircle and on instagram at @newpattrencounseling and through New Pattern Counseling at www.newpatterncounseling.com, and is always happy to dialogue with listeners bringing honest questions!Elizabeth Pasimio can be found at www.southbayfamilyacupuncture.com and on Instagram at @qiflowmama_acupuncture.(Yes, we're related - we are cousins. :) )We'd both love to hear from you!

Join us for our dive into Inside Out 2, Pixar's latest exploration of emotions, identity, and mental health. In this discussion, we analyze the film's portrayal of anxiety, self-concept, and emotional growth as Riley navigates the challenges of adolescence. With insights from professional counselors, we break down how the movie captures the complexity of the inner world, the transition from childhood to adolescence, and the role of emotions like anxiety, envy, and embarrassment. We'll also touch on whether Inside Out 2 is suitable for kids, how it compares to the first film, and what valuable takeaways it offers for parents, therapists, and anyone interested in emotional well-being. The Outer Circle Inner Stillness is made possible by support from listeners, patrons, likes, and shares. To learn more about how to support the podcast, visit ⁠⁠my patreon⁠⁠.  Rhys Pasimio can be found on ⁠Instagram⁠, or at his ⁠website⁠. He is always happy to dialogue with listeners bringing honest questions!

In this special episode of Outer Circle Inner Stillness, we sit down with author and recovery advocate Patti Clark. Patti shares her deeply personal experiences, spanning decades, including relapses, reconnecting with herself, and building a fulfilling life in recovery. We delve into the challenges and nuances of recovery, particularly the unique experiences of women, and the creative tools and practices Patti has embraced along the way. From journaling to multi-addiction meetings, Patti offers hope, practical wisdom, and inspiration for anyone navigating the complexities of recovery. This is a conversation about resilience, growth, and the power of connection—perfect for anyone seeking insight and encouragement on their own journey. ------------------------------------------------------------------- The Outer Circle Inner Stillness is made possible by support from listeners, patrons, likes, and shares. To learn more about how to support the podcast, visit ⁠⁠my patreon⁠⁠.  Rhys Pasimio can be found on ⁠Instagram⁠, or at his ⁠website⁠. He is always happy to dialogue with listeners bringing honest questions!

When we were small, we could go out to the swings or share toy cars, and we were friends. Later, we could sit together for hours—maybe talking, playing games, or simply enjoying each other's company in silence. We weren't afraid to be ourselves or to open up to others. Or maybe we were, and the problem only grew worse. Now, as adults, we find ourselves freakishly busy, terribly lonely, desperately wanting to see and be seen, to love and be loved... but how? Ahshuwah Hawthorne has spent his entire adult life building bridges—between people, communities, and ideological traditions. Drawing on the Bible, Tolkien, Aristotle, and his extensive understanding of how humans form and communicate their beliefs, he offers a vision of male friendship. We begin with the belief that friendships are invaluable and that we all need people who truly know us. Achieving this requires both risk and effort. Moving a friendship beyond the “consumptive stage” into a deeper, more connected one means first exposing an important value or part of your personality. It also requires at least one person to actively pursue the other. Lastly, this effort must be sustained over time. Rhys and Ahshuwah discuss holding appropriate—and appropriately flexible—expectations for how others connect with us and what each friendship can offer. They advocate for more intentional and active steps to “go there,” venturing into vulnerable territory. They value friendships that can comfortably be casual but also rise to meet the demands of a crisis. They see it as priceless to have a few people in life who dare to ask the hard questions and in whose presence “there's room to be less than perfect.” Additionally, they emphasize the importance of friendships leaving the virtual sphere and entering a physical “meet space,” including interactions like shared martial arts practices. Ahshuwah Hawthorne can be found on Twitter at @iahsh, through his company Brilliance Labs, or on his podcast Jesus and the Upper Left Multiply PDX at Apple Podcasts. The Outer Circle Inner Stillness is made possible by support from listeners, patrons, likes, and shares. To learn more about how to support the podcast, visit ⁠⁠my patreon⁠⁠.  Rhys Pasimio can be found on ⁠Instagram⁠, or at his ⁠website. He is always happy to dialogue with listeners bringing honest questions!

In this heartfelt and humorous episode, Rhy's sits down with his longtime friend Toni Hammer, to explore the unexpected intersection of trauma, humor, and mental health. Tony shares her journey of using humor as a coping mechanism for anxiety and depression, discussing the balance between self-deprecation and self-awareness. Together, they delve into the complexities of using humor in the healing process, the importance of connection, and finding hope amidst challenges. This episode offers a fresh perspective on finding light in dark times. The Outer Circle Inner Stillness is made possible by support from listeners, patrons, likes, and shares. To learn more about how to support the podcast, visit his⁠ patreon⁠⁠.  Rhys Pasimio can be found on ⁠Instagram⁠, or at his ⁠website⁠. He is always happy to dialogue with listeners bringing honest questions!

In this conversation, licensed therapist Darrin Ford shares his journey from skeptic to advocate of mindfulness practices in recovery. Drawing from 20 years of clinical experience and his own recovery journey, Ford explores how mindfulness can help break destructive patterns and foster authentic self-discovery. He discusses the science behind meditation's effectiveness, dispels common misconceptions, and offers practical insights for integrating mindfulness into daily life. Whether you're in recovery, a helping professional, or simply curious about mindfulness, this episode provides valuable perspectives on using meditation as a tool for healing and personal growth. The Outer Circle Inner Stillness is made possible by support from listeners, patrons, likes, and shares. To learn more about how to support the podcast, visit his⁠ patreon⁠⁠.  Rhys Pasimio can be found on ⁠Instagram⁠, or at his ⁠website⁠. He is always happy to dialogue with listeners bringing honest questions!

In week four of the Object To Icon Book Study , Rhys explores how we move from objectification to authentic human connection. This episode tackles the challenging journey of removing our protective masks and creating spaces for genuine vulnerability. Rhys shares insights from both Orthodox Christian tradition and contemporary counseling approaches, offering practical wisdom on: Understanding our tendency to objectify others and ourselves The delicate balance between vulnerability and boundaries How to practice "levels of disclosure" in different relationships Techniques for being present with others' pain without trying to fix it The role of community in healing and growth Transforming harmful patterns into opportunities for deeper connection Building safe spaces for authentic disclosure in community settings Rhys weaves together psychological principles, spiritual wisdom, and practical experience to show how we can create spaces where masks can safely soften into veils. "To fully live is to be vulnerable and respond to the vulnerability of others." The Outer Circle Inner Stillness is made possible by support from listeners, patrons, likes, and shares. To learn more about how to support the podcast, visit ⁠www.patreon.com/outercircle⁠.  Rhys Pasimio can be found through⁠ ⁠⁠www.patreon.com/outercircle⁠ and on instagram at @newpatterncounseling and through New Pattern Counseling at ⁠www.newpatterncounseling.com⁠, and is always happy to dialogue with listeners bringing honest questions!

Rhys Pasimio welcomes Conrad Lipic, a combat veteran and therapist based in Fairbanks, Alaska. Together they explore the complex challenges faced by military personnel transitioning to civilian life, discussing healthy masculinity, addiction recovery, and the journey toward emotional wholeness. Conrad shares valuable insights on helping veterans reconnect with themselves and society, offering a unique perspective that bridges military experience with therapeutic practice. The Outer Circle Inner Stillness podcast is made possible through the generous support of our listeners, patrons, and everyone who likes and shares our content. To explore ways to support the show, please visit www.patreon.com/outercircle. You can connect with Rhys Pasimio through his website New Pattern Counseling, on Instagram @newpatterncounseling, or through the aforementioned Patreon at www.patreon.com/outercircle.  Rhys is always open to engaging with listeners and welcomes your honest questions!

Rhys Pasimio sits down with Matt Rensi, a licensed clinical counselor and Marine Corps veteran, to explore the challenges faced by military personnel during their transition to civilian life. Matt shares his personal experiences of combat, the struggles of re-adjusting to a new reality, and the mental health challenges veterans often encounter. Together, they discuss the importance of structured support, community engagement, therapy, and the healing power of spirituality and a connection to God in the recovery process. Whether you are a veteran or someone interested in mental health, this episode offers profound insights into the journey from trauma to recovery, highlighting how faith and spiritual connection can play a vital role in healing. The Outer Circle Inner Stillness podcast is made possible through the generous support of our listeners, patrons, and everyone who likes and shares our content. To explore ways to support the show, please visit www.patreon.com/outercircle. You can connect with Rhys Pasimio through his website New Pattern Counseling, on Instagram @newpatterncounseling, or through the aforementioned Patreon at www.patreon.com/outercircle.  Rhys is always open to engaging with listeners and welcomes your honest questions!

The opposite of objectification is curiosity. In this episode, I discuss how we can respond to pornography and the "pornified mind," in the context of relationships. In marriages, courtships, dating, friendships, and other encounters with people, we are susceptible to objectifying the other person, missing the Image of God, and deeply damaging ourselves and the other person. What should we do instead? My suggestion is that curiosity, the discipline of seeking to truly see and wonder about the other, is central to preserving their humanity. Further, any time I encounter something in you that I consider offensive, it is an opportunity to discover something reactive within my own self. If we keep in mind these and other ideas, I believe we can learn to truly see and connect with each other. The Outer Circle Inner Stillness is made possible by support from listeners, patrons, likes, and shares. To learn more about how to support the podcast, visit www.patreon.com/outercircle.  Rhys Pasimio can be found through www.patreon.com/outercircle and on instagram at @newpattrencounseling and through New Pattern Counseling at www.newpatterncounseling.com, and is always happy to dialogue with listeners bringing honest questions!

In this week's discussion we tackle two main topics. 1 - we cover chapters 7-9 which explore the softening of masks into veils. These chapters are about how to open up to others safely, and how to see others gently. As in most things, we should be wary of extremes, and seek to be gentle and mutual in our opening up to each other. Here we talk about some of the ways the sacrament of Confession is especially powerful. 2 - How to talk to our kids about sex! This is a topic I've been very excited to cover for a long time. We said some things about this and certainly we'll say more at some point soon. Here we reflect on our own experiences of our own sex education, and we discuss some considerations in how to best support our kids in their growth. We start with God's vision for holy union with Him, healthy intimacy within the sacrament of marriage, and build from there. These discussions are getting more personal, which is why they are only available to subscribing members and those who are regularly attending the study. For more questions, please do reach out.

Recently my community did a group study of the book From Object to Icon by Andrew Williams. In this study, we talked at length about iconography and veneration and how these phenomena should inform our relationships. We also talked about objectification and pornification as the inverse of the holy seeing-the-humanity-of-the-other. Recognizing that pornography, and a pornographic mindset, create myriad problems in the world, I created a parallel discussion about how to respond to pornography in practical ways. In this episode, I discuss responses on an individual level. Let me know your thoughts in the comments! And thanks!

First, apologies that there is no week 1. Recently I hosted a study of the book From Object to Icon, by Andrew Williams.     Andrew Williams is an Orthodox Christian, and a graduate of Holy Cross Greek Orthodox School of Theology, and Oxford University, and the host of the podcast "Finding the Freedom to Live in the Image of God."               Williams says, "The icon is central in our relationship with God; it is a source of healing and sanctification, and through it we can transcend the 'Things and facts of an objectivized and naturalized world.'" He also points out that veneration of an icon is a way of actively participating in the divine graces of God. Icons are not limited to just the wood and paint, but include each of us made in the image of God. Veneration, therefore, is not just kissing a painting, but is a way of seeing(really a way of living in) all of creation. As Christians, we ought to see all creation, especially its people, iconographically.             The counterpart is to see the world pornographically. This certainly includes sexual pornography, but is also in fact its own way of living, that being a way that fails both to see others and to allow ones self to be seen in the healing and transformative way that each of us need.               So then, in our study, we will explore the following big ideas:             What are the spiritual realities present in the icon, and in the incredibly powerful spiritual encounter that takes place every time we practice veneration?             What is pornography and what does it mean to see the world through this lens?             How ought we to see people?             How ought we allow ourselves to be seen, and why?             What is a proper response to pornography(sexual imagery, internet pornography, etc)?             For us in the care of children, how ought we to speak to our children about sex, pornography, the unforgiving risks of the internet, and the proper way to see themselves and others?              William's writing is beautiful and compelling, just as the icons which have so captivated his vision, and sustained our faith. I encourage you to join me in reading through his work, and through our conversations, hopefully connect more deeply with each other.           I hope you get to read along! Even if not, please let us know your thoughts in the comments! The Outer Circle Inner Stillness is made possible by support from listeners, patrons, likes, and shares. To learn more about how to support the podcast, visit ⁠www.patreon.com/outercircle⁠.  Rhys Pasimio can be found through⁠ ⁠⁠www.patreon.com/outercircle⁠ and on instagram at @newpattrencounseling and through New Pattern Counseling at ⁠www.newpatterncounseling.com⁠, and is always happy to dialogue with listeners bringing honest questions!

We started with the internet and a question about how to best prepare our kids to navigate the online world. Now, we talk about pornography. Central to all of our concerns about our kids is the very present reality that kids get hurt, exploited, disconnected, and overwhelmed by digital and online content every day. It's not just about pornography...but we recognize that porn and sexual content has a particular prominence amongst the dangers to our kids found on the internet. So then, we who are dads, and counselors, and most of us specifically trained to address porn addiction and compulsive sexual behaviors offer up our perspectives. We talk about what we do it our particular families to protect our particular kids. The Outer Circle Inner Stillness is made possible by support from listeners, patrons, likes, and shares. To learn more about how to support the podcast, visit www.patreon.com/outercircle.  Rhys Pasimio can be found through www.patreon.com/outercircle and on instagram at @newpattrencounseling and through New Pattern Counseling at www.newpatterncounseling.com, and is always happy to dialogue with listeners bringing honest questions! Stephen Black can be found through Fircrest Behavioral Health in Vancouver, WA at stephen@fircrestbh.com Trevor Winsor can be found through Pure Desire Ministries in Gresham, OR, www.puredesire.org and trevor@puredesire.org. Ben Poling can be found through A New Day Counseling Center in Portland, OR at www.anewdaycounseling.org  Keaton Kleiner can be found through City Care Counseling, serving all over Nebraska, at www.citycarecounseling.com.  Other Resources Mentioned https://fightthenewdrug.org/ #counseling #therapy #mentalhealth #addiction #sobriety #porn #pornography #pornaddiction #sexaddiction #kids #children #family #fatherhood #parenting #internet #technology #devices #safeguards #filteringsoftware #christianity #christian #faith #spirituality #church #religion #orthodoxy #orthodoxchristianity #protestant #evangelical #brain  Family Shepherds: Calling and Equipping Men to Lead Their Homes, by Voddie BauchamDopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence, by Anna Lembke

How will you talk to your kids about the internet and devices? What kind of parameters will you set and why? What do you see are the benefits and risks of giving developing humans access to the maelstrom that is the online world? In particular, how will you equip your kids in preparation for inevitable exposure to pornography? I asked these questions of a group of dads who are also counselors, most of whom also specialize in sex and porn addiction. And thus, this conversation was born! The Outer Circle Inner Stillness is made possible by support from listeners, patrons, likes, and shares. To learn more about how to support the podcast, visit www.patreon.com/outercircle.  Rhys Pasimio can be found through www.patreon.com/outercircle and on instagram at @newpattrencounseling and through New Pattern Counseling at www.newpatterncounseling.com, and is always happy to dialogue with listeners bringing honest questions! Stephen Black can be found through Fircrest Behavioral Health in Vancouver, WA at stephen@fircrestbh.com Trevor Winsor can be found through Pure Desire Ministries in Gresham, OR, www.puredesire.org and trevor@puredesire.org. Ben Poling can be found through A New Day Counseling Center in Portland, OR at www.anewdaycounseling.org  Keaton Kleiner can be found through City Care Counseling, serving all over Nebraska, at www.citycarecounseling.com.  Other Resources Mentioned https://fightthenewdrug.org/ #counseling #therapy #mentalhealth #addiction #sobriety #porn #pornography #pornaddiction #sexaddiction #kids #children #family #fatherhood #parenting #internet #technology #devices #safeguards #filteringsoftware #christianity #christian #faith #spirituality #church #religion #orthodoxy #orthodoxchristianity #protestant #evangelical #brain Family Shepherds: Calling and Equipping Men to Lead Their Homes, by Voddie BauchamDopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence, by Anna Lembke

All couples have problems, and sometimes they are problems the couple cannot solve on their own.  How can a couple begin to thrive when they are feeling stagnant? How can a couple survive the very difficult times? How can a couple heal after lethal wounds such as infidelity and betrayal? Some couples go to counseling because they are doing well adn want to go from good to better. Others go to counseling because they need(and are able to use) some good tools. Then there are the couples who have deeply wounded each other, often many times, and are on the brink of relationship collapse.  Jeremiah Peck is a licensed professional counselor specializing in high conflict couples. He is also the founder of Ally Christian Counseling in Vancouver, Washington. In our conversation we talk about common mistakes that couples make when approaching a healing process. We also talk vital steps that most couples can and should take when they need to heal from something. We explore the balance of having “The right technique for the moment,” and just generally being nice to each other.  And because we like philosophy, we take a stab at defining “love.”  In all of this, we find that there are indeed ways to heal. The process is very difficult, but there is hope for the couple who chooses to take it.  The Outer Circle Inner Stillness is made possible by support from listeners, patrons, likes, and shares. To learn more about how to support the podcast, visit www.patreon.com/outercircle.  Rhys Pasimio can be found through www.patreon.com/outercircle and on instagram at @newpattrencounseling and through New Pattern Counseling at www.newpatterncounseling.com, and is always happy to dialogue with listeners bringing honest questions! Dr. Jeremiah Peck can be found at www.AllyChristianCounseling.com , and www.Allyacademynw.com , and on Youtube at Allyacademynw. #marriage #couples #highconflictcouples #counseling #mentalhealth #therapy #addiction #betrayal #infidelity #trauma #intimacy #emotions #love #whatislove #skills #tools #relationships #community #conflict #conflictresolution

Matt Droguett is a Life Consultant and Self-Sabotage expert who is passionate about encouraging men in living whole and healthy lives, and who firmly believes in the importance of doing his own inner work. Hailing from the Hawaiian islands, he brings his experience, expertise, and attention to men caught in patterns of sabotaging their marriage, particularly through use of pornography. His dream is to see emotionally healthy people go viral. As is our custom, we talk about recovery - Matt's passion is not about helping men quit using porn; what he wants is for them to be able to live whole and healthy lives! Porn just happens to often be one of the biggest obstacles. We further discuss the challenge of the Spiritual Bypass and why you can't just pray away your addiction problems. We explore at some length the difference between a thriving spiritual practice that builds a strong connection with God and doing all the same religious behaviors as a way of avoiding yourself. Along the way, we talk about men and leadership, and the balance of “owning and leading your ship,” with humility. Drawing on his coaching background, and me reflecting on running men's recovery groups, we talk about a very practical issue - how much should a person in recovery tell their partner about slips, lapses, relapses, wayward thoughts, or other means of acting out? There's a balance to strike between overshare and deception, and we aim to articulate what that is. The important thing to remember if you have lied to and betrayed your partner is that your partner's biggest need is for safety. Finally, we talk about the necessity for community, for spiritual practices, and for regularly doing spiritual practices in community. The Outer Circle Inner Stillness is made possible by support from listeners, patrons, likes, and shares. To learn more about how to support the podcast, visit www.patreon.com/outercircle.  Rhys Pasimio can be found through www.patreon.com/outercircle and on instagram at @newpattrencounseling and through New Pattern Counseling at www.newpatterncounseling.com, and is always happy to dialogue with listeners bringing honest questions! Matt Droguett can be found on Instagram at @mattdroguett and “The Matt Droguett Show,” on every podcast platform and on Youtube. He is further developing the ap “Uplift,” which is meant to encourage men by reminding them of what they already know about how to live well.

Contains explicit content - language, brief descriptions of war Sobriety is challenging, even in the best of times for well-resourced civilians. Some folks struggle more, among them, our armed forces. Soldiers in all branches of the military face a kind of stress that can only truly be understood by another soldier. Returning veterans carry unique burdens that can seem frightening and mysterious to those observing. Imagine what they are like for the people carrying them! We can observe that addiction, particularly compulsive sexual behavior, is common among the armed forces and veteran population. One can wonder why this is. We know that war changes people. But how much? Does war cause a person to be more likely to develop an addiction? Or is it that people more pre-disposed to addiction are also more likely to join the military? How do traumatic brain injuried(TBIs) factor into the problem? Most of all, how do we help our soldiers come home and heal? Conrad Lipic is a veteran, an individual in recovery, and a recovery counselor and coach with specialization in treating compulsive sexual behaviors. He offers insights from his experiences, and invites us to consider hard and necessary questions. Finally, he provides suggestions and considerations for those helpers who want to support our armed forces as they learn to heal, connect, and thrive. The Outer Circle Inner Stillness is made possible by support from listeners, patrons, likes, and shares. To learn more about how to support the podcast, visit www.patreon.com/outercircle.  Rhys Pasimio can be found through www.patreon.com/outercircle and on instagram at @newpattrencounseling and through New Pattern Counseling at www.newpatterncounseling.com, and is always happy to dialogue with listeners bringing honest questions! Conrad Lipic can be reached at www.mindaligned.com and is currently accepting new clients. Please do reach out! We'd love to hear from you! #military #soldier #war #veteran #civilian #sobriety #recovery #addiction #compulsivesexualbehavior #sexaddiction #trauma #traumaticbraininjury #tbi #armylife #conradlipic #mindaligned #rhyspasimio #newpatterncounseling #csat #counseling #mentalhealth #therapy

Christian Gonzalez and Rhys Pasimio bring together clinical expertise, a shared love of Internal Family Systems, and the traditions of the Orthodox Church into one conversation about how to cultivate a healthy inner life. Our center is on the person of Jesus Christ, but we talk about the difference between an intellectual understanding that may or may not make sense, and a tangible daily lived experience.  Orthodoxy offers a “Beautiful healing way to live, versus just a right way of thinking. When we consider Orthodox spiritual practice, combined with the best of reflection skills from the psychotherapy world, we discover a way to experience healing, transformation, and the goodness of God here and now, in the body! We again compare and contrast the language of “Parts” language Internal Family Systems and how Orthodoxy talks about the Passions. We reflect on our own experiences of learning to be gentle with, even praying for our wounded parts, and in this way finding more freedom than by endlessly criticizing ourselves. Overall, we emphasize that Christianity is a way of life, one that is practiced daily. As counselors, we have access to even more tools to help us sustain the life giving practices. And all of this becomes possible in compassionate relationships with each other, and with a clear focus on Christ. In discussing Lenten practices, we examine how asceticism factors into a spiritual practice, and caution against “The fourth taco.”  The Outer Circle Inner Stillness is made possible by support from listeners, patrons, likes, and shares. To learn more about how to support the podcast, visit www.patreon.com/outercircle.  Rhys Pasimio can be found through www.patreon.com/outercircle and on instagram at @newpattrencounseling and through New Pattern Counseling at www.newpatterncounseling.com, and is always happy to dialogue with listeners bringing honest questions! Christian Gonzalez can be found at cgonzalez@theoym.org, or with the Orthodox Youth and Young Adult Ministries on social media and at www.theoym.org . #lent #greatlent #orthodoxy #orthodoxchristianity #easternorthodoxy #christianity #monasticism #sobriety #spirituality #spiritualdisciplines #spiritualstruggle #Addiction #reflection #meditation #family #marriage #parenting #counseling #psychology #internalfamilysystems #ifs #parts #allpartswelcome #nobadparts #mentalhealth #therapy #newpatterncounseling #oym #orthodoxyouthandyoungadultministries #christiangonzalez #rhyspasimio

Kevin Roberts is a husband, father, business owner, and a sub-deacon in the Orthodox Church.  In today's conversation, Rhys and Kevin discuss the meaning of commitment in the spiritual life. We reflect on how a person is shaped by the commitments the make, the relationships they maintain, and the life-long vocations they undertake. We reflect on being drawn to monasticism, but learning to know the presence of God in the midst of hectic family life. We talk about how submitting to authority, and allowing our most important relationships to impact and shape us is life-giving and centering.  Our conversation happens in the midst of Great Lent - a season of fasting and extra spiritual rigors. In light of this, we reflect on seasons of desert and struggle and feeling lost in the spiritual life, the sobriety life, family life, and life in general. We reflect on how being in a desert does not mean you have failed…it's just part of how you grow. The Outer Circle Inner Stillness is made possible by support from listeners, patrons, likes, and shares. To learn more about how to support the podcast, visit www.patreon.com/outercircle.  Rhys Pasimio can be found through www.patreon.com/outercircle and on instagram at @newpattrencounseling and through New Pattern Counseling at www.newpatterncounseling.com, and is always happy to dialogue with listeners bringing honest questions! Kevin Roberts can be found at newkevlar@gmail.com, or reading the Epistle at the Divine Liturgy. #lent #greatlent #orthodoxy #orthodoxchristianity #easternorthodoxy #christianity #monasticism #sobriety #spirituality #spiritualdisciplines #spiritualstruggle #Addiction #reflection #meditation #family #marriage #parenting #laity #readers #tonsure  #blessedsacramentleague #outercircleinnerstillness #newpatterncounseling 

If Bible College was the crucible, then monasticism is daily crucifixion…and we're glad to be here. Sister Lisa's journey has taken her from Protestant Bible College, to Roman Catholicism, to becoming a nun, to founding a new monastic order in the wilds of Arizona.  Here, she and Rhys discuss the spiritual life, the sobriety life, and what we can learn from the monastic traditions. We explore how silence, the inner life, mindfulness, the nous, and daily entering a silent pause are all concepts that offer us clues about how to anchor our lives to something healing and meaningful, even in the midst of a very strenuous vocation. We talk about daily sacrifices, and why we need clear goals in order to continue making them. We talk about the importance of consistency, and of community, in developing the spiritual life. We talk about how a daily pause begins to reorient our whole lives.  When embarking on a long spiritual journey, we need anchors, to be grounded and to remember why we make the sacrifices we do. We find that the anchor is the pause - the daily slowing down, entering the silence, and listening. We are driven by our loves, and our loves are shown by the things we actually do every day. In all things, we remember that no matter how we struggle, we are not alone. Sister Lisa offers the sobriety tip - “When we say no something, we automatically say yes to something else.” Therefore, we must be very intentional about directing our “Yes” to something good. Listen along, and let us know what you think! The Outer Circle Inner Stillness is made possible by support from listeners, patrons, likes, and shares. To learn more about how to support the podcast, visit www.patreon.com/outercircle.  Rhys Pasimio can be found through www.patreon.com/outercircle and on instagram at @newpattrencounseling and through New Pattern Counseling at www.newpatterncounseling.com, and is always happy to dialogue with listeners bringing honest questions! Sister Lisa can be found on Tik Tok(until the government shuts it down) at @SisterLisaH, or through her work with The League of the Blessed Sacrament at www.sacramentleague.com #lent #greatlent #orthodoxy #orthodoxchristianity #easternorthodoxy #catholicism #catholicspirituallife  #catholicmonasticism #romancatholic #christianity #monasticism #monasticwisdom #nun #sobriety #spirituality #spiritualdisciplines #spiritualstruggle #monasticism #Addiction #reflection #meditation #blessedsacramentleague #outercircleinnerstillness #newpatterncounseling 

How should “Creatures of the senses” manage their appetites? Here I talk with Abbot Tryphon about sobriety. We talk about the relationship between a person and their drug, the dangers of too much free time, the influence of our family systems upon us, and why running is good for sobriety. We talk about the importance of beginning the day focused on the faith, why men need bond with each other, hugging redwoods, and the time Abbot Tryphon was mistaken for John Lennon. So then, what can we learn about sobriety from a monk? Healing and growth center on a full-life transformation. Sobriety, just like faith, is a life-long journey, that's meant to be undertaken in close fellowship with others. Our bodies matter, therefore we should get outside, exercise, eat well, and not waste away on a screen. Above all, we should never lose hope, never give up, and always keep our focus on the Heavenly Kingdom and the One who heals our souls. Listen along, and let us know what you think! The Outer Circle Inner Stillness is made possible by support from listeners, patrons, likes, and shares. To learn more about how to support the podcast, visit www.patreon.com/outercircle.  Rhys Pasimio can be found through www.patreon.com/outercircle and on instagram at @newpattrencounseling and through New Pattern Counseling at www.newpatterncounseling.com, and is always happy to dialogue with listeners bringing honest questions! Abbot Tryphon can be found at abbottryphon.com. There you'll find links to his Facebook, Youtube, Telegram, and other platforms. And if you can, try to visit him in person at the monastery! - https://vashonmonks.com/ #abbottryphon #monk #monks #monastic #monastery #orthodox #orthodoxy #orthodoxchristianity #christianity #easternorthodoxy #vashonisland #spirituality #religion #sobriety #community #relationships #healing #psychology #technology #church #family #sobriety #reading #spiritual wisdom #recovery #sobriety #addiction #addictionrecovery #drugsandalcohol #pornography #mentalhealth #innerlife

More monastic wisdom, more stories, more Abbot Tryphon! In the 2nd of 3 interviews, I continue asking Abbot Tryphon about the Orthodox faith, the inner life, and what people in recovery can learn from people in monasteries. We talk about continual learning and why we need mentors, sponsors, and spiritual fathers. We talk about why we need to read and permeate our lives in spiritual wisdom. We talk about icon, but also by “being pushy” is the worst thing we can do as Orthodox Christians. Above all, we talk about how Christianity, like sobriety, cannot be an “add-on” to life - it can't be done part-time; it has to be the central focus.  Listen along, and let us know what you think! The Outer Circle Inner Stillness is made possible by support from listeners, patrons, likes, and shares. To learn more about how to support the podcast, visit www.patreon.com/outercircle.  Rhys Pasimio can be found through www.patreon.com/outercircle and on instagram at @newpattrencounseling and through New Pattern Counseling at www.newpatterncounseling.com, and is always happy to dialogue with listeners bringing honest questions! Abbot Tryphon can be found at abbottryphon.com. There you'll find links to his Facebook, Youtube, Telegram, and other platforms. And if you can, try to visit him in person at the monastery! - https://vashonmonks.com/ #abbottryphon #monk #monks #monastic #monastery #orthodox #orthodoxy #orthodoxchristianity #christianity #easternorthodoxy #vashonisland #spirituality #religion #sobriety #community #relationships #healing #psychology #mentalhealth #innerlife #technology #church #family #sobriety #reading #spiritual wisdom

What can we learn about the inner life from Orthodox Christian Monasticism? I wanted to find out, so one beautiful day in November, I made my way up to All Merciful Savior Monastery on Vashon Island, Washington, there to speak with Abbot Tryphon. From the Lutheran tradition, to secular universities, to the field of psychology, to chaplaincy, to Orthodox Christanity, and from Portland, Oregon to San Francisco to Southern Oregon to the Puget Sound, Abbot Tryphon has seen many things, learned many more, and has a story for all of them. In our series of interviews, he tells of his life growing up, his education, the power of love, the power of the home life, major challenges facing today's youth, what he's learned through physical fitness, through psychology, what ultimately brought him to the Orthodox Faith, why reading about the faith isn't enough, and why we need community. Some of his ideas are extreme(which is normal from the monastic world) but his bearing is gentle. Sit with him a while and you see that he deeply cares about people and wants to see them growing and thriving in the faith. Listen along, and let us know what you think! The Outer Circle Inner Stillness is made possible by support from listeners, patrons, likes, and shares. To learn more about how to support the podcast, visit www.patreon.com/outercircle.  Rhys Pasimio can be found through www.patreon.com/outercircle and on instagram at @newpattrencounseling and through New Pattern Counseling at www.newpatterncounseling.com, and is always happy to dialogue with listeners bringing honest questions! Abbot Tryphon can be found at abbottryphon.com. There you'll find links to his Facebook, Youtube, Telegram, and other platforms. And if you can, try to visit him in person at the monastery! - https://vashonmonks.com/ #abbottryphon #monk #monks #monastic #monastery #orthodox #orthodoxy #orthodoxchristianity #christianity #easternorthodoxy #vashonisland #spirituality #religion #sobriety #community #relationships #healing #psychology #technology #church

In recovery circles, we often hear that "Rigorous Honesty" is a good thing...but why is this? Orlando Rivera has been in recovery for more than 30 years, and active in the addictions counseling field, both counseling and teaching, since the early 90's. In today's conversation, he shares insights and wisdom about honest, self-awareness, vulnerability, and accountability. We talk about how overcoming denial to achieve self-knowledge is essential to being able to fully and authentically encounter another person. We talk about techniques for pausing, reflecting, and making conscious choices about our reactions to stressful people. We talk about WHY we would want to make ourselves vulnerable by opening up to people in the first place. Finally, we tough on how to make good use of an accountability partner. This podcast relies on the partnership of listeners - especially with dollars! Please visit www.patreon.com/outercircle to learn how to partner with the vision of this show! Rhys Pasimio can be found through www.patreon.com/outercircle and on instagram at @newpattrencounseling and is always happy to dialogue with listeners bringing honest questions! For counseling resources, please visit New Pattern Counseling at www.newpatterncounseling.com. To connect with Orlando, you can email him at orivera328 @Gmail.com.  Thanks for listening! #recovery #recoverywork #sobriety #addiction #addictionrecovery #honesty #rigoroushonesty #authentic #authenticity #vulnerability #connection #relationships #integrity #group #community #selfawareness #selfknowledge #selfinsight #insight #tothineownselfbetrue #communication #conflictresolution

What's a Firefighter Part? In the language of Internal Family Systems, Firefighters are one of the 3 major categories of "Parts" that typically exist in a human system. They are protectors that are reactive, defensive, volatile, big energy, and often the ones that get us into trouble. Typical firefighters include the parts that drink too much, smoke too much, act out sexually, over or under eat, numb out and dissociate, rage, lie, and even self-harm. Society's typical response to a Firefighter's action is to penalize and hate them. Similarly, individual people tend to be very antagonistic toward their firefighters. But is this how to heal them? Is the key to sobriety, to spiritual growth, to healing, to greater intimacy to hate one's own brokenness? Or is it rather to see Truth and Light and Beauty, and then regard all of one's parts...with love? Moses-Rhys teams up with Beth Piazza-Bonin and Mary-Kate Sowell, fellow colleagues, IFS practitioners, and spiritual pilgrims, to explore a radical healing approach, which may remind us of one Father eagerly running out to meet His returning Prodigal Son. We explore how to make these typically destructive forces in our lives to be something profitable. We talk about the compassionate move toward a firefighter, as well as the courageous boundaries we set around them. We reflected on the inner conflicts that arise when Managers and Firefighters hate on each other, and how these conflicts can be made worse by religion. Here we talk about the difference between a rigid spiritualizer part, and the very strong, very compassionate, healing presence of the Lord Jesus that we can know in our real lives. We talk about how counseling, healing, and the IFS world allows us to journey across the gap between me and you, self and the Other, to truly encounter, know, and love another person. The Outer Circle Inner Stillness is made possible by support from listeners, patrons, likes, and shares. To learn more about how to support the podcast, visit www.patreon.com/outercircle. Rhys Pasimio can be found through www.patreon.com/outercircle and on instagram at @newpattrencounseling and through New Pattern Counseling at www.newpatterncounseling.com, and is always happy to dialogue with listeners bringing honest questions! Mary Kate Sowell can be found through Abundant Life Counseling in Austin, Texas - https://abundantlifecounseling.com/mary-kate Beth Piazza-Bonin can be found through Path of the Hummingbird - https://www.pathofthehummingbird.org/ Please do reach out! We'd love to hear from you! #internalfamilysystems #ifs #parts #nobadparts #managers #firefighters #exiles #self #selfenergy #counseling #therapy #mentalhealth #addiction #substanceuse #recovery #sobriety #spirituality #orthodox #easternorthodoxy #orthodoxchristianity #christianity #jesus #bible #relationships #couples #intimacy

In recovery circles, we often hear that "Rigorous Honesty" is a good thing...but why is this? Orlando Rivera has been in recovery for more than 30 years, and active in the addictions counseling field, both counseling and teaching, since the early 90's. In today's conversation, he shares insights and wisdom about honest, self-awareness, vulnerability, and accountability. We talk about how overcoming denial to achieve self-knowledge is essential to being able to fully and authentically encounter another person. We talk about techniques for pausing, reflecting, and making conscious choices about our reactions to stressful people. We talk about WHY we would want to make ourselves vulnerable by opening up to people in the first place. Finally, we tough on how to make good use of an accountability partner. This podcast relies on the partnership of listeners - especially with dollars! Please visit www.patreon.com/outercircle to learn how to partner with the vision of this show! Rhys Pasimio can be found through www.patreon.com/outercircle and on instagram at @newpattrencounseling and is always happy to dialogue with listeners bringing honest questions! For counseling resources, please visit New Pattern Counseling at www.newpatterncounseling.com. To connect with Orlando, you can email him at orivera328 @Gmail.com.  Thanks for listening! #recovery #recoverywork #sobriety #addiction #addictionrecovery #honesty #rigoroushonesty #authentic #authenticity #vulnerability #connection #relationships #integrity #group #community #selfawareness #selfknowledge #selfinsight #insight #tothineownselfbetrue #communication #conflictresolution

How is recovery like Barbecue Sauce, and what does this have to do with 9th century Church Fathers? And what's the deal with the first 3-5 years of recovery anyway? In today's episode, Rhys Pasimio and Shea Layton team up to interview CSAT counselor Dan Stephens, the founder of Restored Life Counseling, and developer of the long term Recovery Outcomes research project. A traditionally held understanding within addictions recovery work is that a good, solid, successful recovery process takes 3-5 years. While many can intuitively and anecdotally say this is true, empirical research is limited…so Dan is working to supply it. Rhys, Dan, and Shea take an hour to unpack questions like what is recovery anyway? How long does it take? What are the essential priorities to address within the first three years? How is early recovery like and unlike spiritual growth?  All coming from different Christian traditions, we conceptualize addiction as coming out of deep desires that can only ultimately be fulfilled by God…but get turned towards other things, often with devastating results. We talk about how desire itself is not bad, , and many of the things we desire are good…but we desire them in wrong ways.  Shea says, “We see everything according to our cravings.” As we conceive of recovery as a whole-life transformation to be more in the likeness of Christ, Dan says we can measure sobriety success by asking, “What is the measurable participation in restoration?” Shea reflects on wisdom of the church fathers like St. Maximus the Confessor, and reminds us that, “You can't over come [sin or addiction] just by hating it. You have to see the beauty, like Christ [would].”  We talk about how mere abstinence is a good start, but a very incomplete process. True transformation and healing happen when we struggle to attain the good and the beautiful, to find our purpose, and live our values, and fill our lives with good things, the ultimate of which is God. This podcast relies on the partnership of listeners - especially with dollars! Please visit www.patreon.com/outercircle to learn how to partner with the vision of this show! Rhys Pasimio can be found through www.patreon.com/outercircle and on instagram at @newpattrencounseling and is always happy to dialogue with listeners bringing honest questions! Dan Stephens can be found at https://restored.life/dan-stephens/. You can sign up for the Recover Outcomes Study here - https://restored.life/recovery-outcomes-study/!  Shea Layton can be found at https://thaddeusthought.com/, on Youtube at Thaddeus Creative at https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7dOEppqqpE1_5u4vjNmrLA, and on various social media platforms as @jacfalcon.  Please do reach out! We'd love to hear from you!

So you got clean and sober - great! …Now what? How does a person transition from the excitement and upheaval of early recovery into a more stable long-term recovery? What do you do in long term sobriety when the comfort of stability starts to feel like the tortures of boredom? How does a person find their most important values, and the community to support them? Stephen Grant is a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, and a Relational Therapist, at Gracefall Counseling in Vancouver, Washington. He draws on his experiences as a counselor, and many more experiences in recovery, to share stories and insights into how to survive - and thrive - through the many seasons of sobriety life. Stephen and Rhys talk about what Relational Therapy is, and how the basics of emotional attunement and active listening never get old. We talk about how sobriety is much more than just stopping an unhealthy behavior; sobriety is all about finding new things to do, new purpose, and living into a marvelous vision for our lives.  This podcast relies on the partnership of listeners - especially with dollars! Please visit www.patreon.com/outercircle to learn how to partner with the vision of this show! Rhys Pasimio can be found through www.patreon.com/outercircle and on instagram at @newpattrencounseling and is always happy to dialogue with listeners bringing honest questions! Stephen Grant can be found at https://www.gracefallcounseling.com/ and would be happy to share more stories! #counseling #therapy #recovery #recoverywork #addiction #addictionrecovery #sobriety #longtermsobriety #sex #sexaddiction #sexuality #relationaltherapy #relationship #attachment #attunement #boredom #purpose #shame #guilt #trauma #attachment #spirituality #orthodoxy #orthodoxchristianity #12steps #meetings #groups #community #men #stephengrant #gracefallcounseling #rhyspasimio #outercircleinnerstillness #newpatterncounseling

What does a person need most in order to heal from addiction and trauma? Do they need to act differently? Think better thoughts? Use a fancy technology to monitor brain waves? All these things are good and useful, but they falter in the absence of love. Love, in a clinical sense, is a secure attachment, marked by full attention, unconditional welcome, curiosity, courage and patience. In the presence of this kind of energy, a person finds belonging and safety. In that environment, they become able to do things like think about their thoughts, and begin to think different thoughts, and eventually do different behaviors.  Zach Guzman is a counselor and neurofeedback specialist in Colorado Spring, CO, and the founder of Mind Reneural, a healing clinic in his town with specialties in neurofeedback. In our conversation, Zach provides a succinct introduction to neurofeedback, how it works, and how it can help us heal. Neurofeedback works in an adjacent realm to attachment and co-regulation. When a person feels truly safe, truly welcomed, and truly connected, there is nearly limitless potential to the insight and healing that can be accomplished. In order for this process to take place, though, we need a trusted other. That trusted other may include the neurofeedback setup, but even without the technology, the experience of fully encountering another human being is always remarkable. From there, we dive into concepts ranging from recovery and sobriety, the vital importance of community and attachment, practices of spirituality, and how we have respectively come to understand what it means to be loved by Christ.  We discuss how our thoughts become our realities. But when our thoughts are driven by fear, and black and white thinking, our thinking is limited, thus our reality is skewed. When our thoughts are driven by love, by courage, and supported by trustworthy connections, we are much more likely to have a true sense of the world.  This podcast relies on the partnership of listeners - especially with dollars! Please visit www.patreon.com/outercircle to learn how to partner with the vision of this show! Rhys Pasimio can be found through www.patreon.com/outercircle and on instagram at @newpattrencounseling and is always happy to dialogue with listeners bringing honest questions! For more information about Zach Guzman, you can find him by googling “Mind Reneural Colorado” or by going to https://www.mindreneural.com/. He is also on Facebook and Instagram at @mindreneural.  #neurofeedback #neurology #mind #brain #healing #hope #recovery #sobriety #addiction #compulsion #compulsivebehavior #trauma #focus #counseling #therapy #spirituality #mentalhealth #spiritualdisciplines #community #relationship #attachment #christianity #orthodox #orthodoxchristianity #easternorthodoxy #quietlife #simplicity

When a person is recovering from alcohol abuse, we generally advise them to avoid the beer and wine aisles in the markets. When a person is recovering from cocaine or meth use, or other drugs, we generally advise them to avoid that one street corner or back alley, or few blocks of downtown. When a person is in recovery from problem gambling, we'd find it wise for them to avoid casinos. If the pattern holds, then when a person is in recovery from problematic pornography use, we should advise them to avoid the internet… …but for younger folks, millennials, Gen-Z, and tech natives, we might as well ask them to pluck out their eyes.  Tech natives are those people who have never known a world without the internet. Much if not all of their social lives, jobs, dating, and recreation takes place online. To a large degree, they experience their world through a screen, not as an aberration or a novelty or some new-fangled thing, but as the norm. When this norm also becomes a vehicle to compulsive use of pornography, what do we do with this? The problem isn't limited to younger people. There are older folks as well who, may have had internet-less childhoods, but in adult hood, have built their lives around the internet. Minimally, we have people working entirely from home - through a computer screen. Often these individuals are alone in a room, alone in a house, or sometimes even alone in an office building for many hours a day. The nature of their livelihoods drives them away from in-person connections. Isolation like this is prime breeding ground for addictive and compulsive behaviors.  If the job is stressful, the drive to seek escape through digital self-soothing is even greater. So then for these folks who are driven to isolation, day after day, who also struggle with compulsive pornography use, what is the solution? Is the problem the internet? A hyper-object offering both a person's basic needs, and their primary vices? Or is the problem with the young people? A whole generation conditioned to see this level of technology as normal? Or is the problem with the older people? Folks who knew the world before the internet and can have an instinctive appreciation for simply enjoying non-screen peace and quiet.  Or is the problem the current, capitalist job market that demands people compromise any number of personal values to capture the sustaining dollar? Sako Barbarian is a counselor at the Begin Again Institute in Colorado who specializes in recovery from compulsive sexual behaviors and problematic pornography use. He works closely with internet culture and the people trying to make their way in it, especially the Millenial and generations and those who have never known a world without the internet. He and I discuss the challenges facing today's “Tech Natives,” the role of technology in our lives, and why compassion and connection are the things that save us and our sobriety. This podcast relies on the partnership of listeners - especially with dollars! Please visit www.patreon.com/outercircle to learn how to partner with the vision of this show! Rhys Pasimio can be found through www.patreon.com/outercircle and on instagram at @newpattrencounseling and is always happy to dialogue with listeners bringing honest questions! Sako Barbarian can be found through the Begin Again Institute at www.beginagaininstitute.com. The Begin Again Institute is one program in the Integrative Life Network, a “Family of Trauma Focused Treatment Centers,” in Colorado - https://integrativelifenetwork.com. #addiction #addictionrecovery #recovery #sobriety #sex #porn #pornography #compulsivesexualbehavior #trauma #relationships #attachment #community #technology #technatives #genz #millennial #online #internet #digital #digitalage

People tend towards two errors. They think they have to be SO unique and special…or they think they have to conform to all the standards around them. Hyper-individualism, uniqueness taken to its extreme, will leave people feeling isolated, burdened, and vulnerable to relapse. Hyper-conformity, especially to unhealthy group and society expectations, can also steer a person towards all sorts of unhealthy, burdensome life narratives that can also leave them vulnerable to relapse. Jeremy Jones is a therapist, community builder, and DND gamemaster in New Mexico, with years of experience facilitating recovery groups. He and I have a delightful dialogue about uniqueness, normality, and the human balance between them. Some notable notes -  “What does it mean to experience uniqueness to the point of isolated suffering, that we are too unique and do not feel that there is either a place where we can be accepted, or where we can belong?” - Jeremy poses a really good question. We further ponder, Where does uniqueness act as a barrier to recovery? What is the cost of an attitude expressed as, “Why do I need to hear from others about their experiences when I know exactly what I've experienced?” Jeremy points out, when we experience mutual vulnerability, or a willingness to put ourselves on the line, it's the full acknowledgement or acceptance that we can be hurt or healed simultaneously. Rhys observes that focusing on differences tends to prevent a relationship. Focusing on what is held in common, tends to bind people together. He further reflects that, “When I hold on to my uniqueness, I feel like I'm holding onto something special, even if it's my badness. I feel reticent to let anyone be as bad as me, because that's the thing I have to hold on to that makes me special, or gives me worth, or makes me memorable.”  And when we consider growth in general, “Getting through a thing, rather than just past it, emphasizes that we are on a journey, and we are on it together.” Jeremy reminds us, “We have all lived and survived the worst day in our lives so far. How might we recognize that in every single person that we meet? That this person has already survived the worst day in their lives so far?” We often carry the burdens of uniqueness because we like the idea of being in control of our lives…until we are then also entirely responsible for all the consequences of our actions. Rhys reflects on his journey into the Orthodox faith and the relief and freedom he found when he was no longer tasked with inventing and reinventing his own worldview and value system from scratch. The challenge with uniqueness is that saying, “I'm unique,” usually also means having to say, “I'm special! I'm extraordinary!” The reality is that if you actually are extraordinary, then that will be readily obvious, without you trying hard to show it.  “When we think we are special, we don't want to learn from other people, because what do they have to offer? And that's such a limitation that we put on ourselves, to not believe we can learn from anyone.” But to be perpetually a learner…means we can always learn! This podcast relies on the partnership of listeners - especially with dollars! Please visit www.patreon.com/outercircle to learn how to partner with the vision of this show! Rhys Pasimio can be found through www.patreon.com/outercircle and on instagram at @newpattrencounseling and is always happy to dialogue with listeners bringing honest questions! Jeremy Jones can be found at www.thinkingaboutthoughtscounseling.com and on instagram @tatcounseling    #recovery #recoverywork #sobriety #sobrietywork #addiction #addictionrecovery #thinkingerrors #cognitivedistortions #automaticnegativethoughts #imunique #normal #individual #hyperindividual #hyperindividuality #conformity #hyperconformity #relationships #community #tradition #orthodoxy #orthodoxchristianity #orthodoxchurch #easternorthodxchurch #easternorthodoxy #learning #growth

We often talk about the “parts” of our individual systems, and today we talk about the “body part,” in particular. I caught up with Jenny Hayo, a practitioner and teacher in the wisdom traditions. She is certified in Hakomi, Internal Family Ssytems, and Yoga, and centers an ongoing, dynamic, and gentle awareness of the physical body at the core of any emotional and psychological work. In this conversation, we start with our mutual love and appreciation for the IFS model of understanding a person, then I ask Jenny about why the body matters, what it means to remember your body, and how to go about cultivating a greater awareness of the body. “The more awareness you have, the more knowledge you gain, and the more knowledge you gain, the more choice you have,” says Jenny, on why we should listen to our bodies.  We reflected on the body's crisis response system, and remark that we have lots of choices we can make throughout the day before we ever get to “The Crisis Choice,” which can often be associated with acting out.  When we talk about practicing body awareness, and developing new daily habits, Jenny refers back to the Old Yoga Wisdom to say, “Start where you are,” and “Start small.” She recommends being gentle and noticing a few ordinary sensations. Describe aloud the sensations you feel. Don't try to be fancy about it.  She further recommends the book, Meditating with the Body, by Reginald Ray This podcast relies on the partnership of listeners - especially with dollars! Please visit www.patreon.com/outercircle to learn how to partner with the vision of this show! Rhys Pasimio can be found through www.patreon.com/outercircle and on instagram at @newpattrencounseling and is always happy to dialogue with listeners bringing honest questions! Jenny Hayo can be found at www.jennyhayo.com.  #ifs #inernalfamilysystems #hakomi #somatic #somaticexperiencing #yoga #yogapractice #body #bodypart #emotion #awareness #mindfulness #practice #spirituality #healing #trauma #mentalhealth #counseling #therapy #sobriety #presence #orthodox #orthodoxy #orthodoxchristianity #compassion

            Why should we talk about money in recovery? More specifically, how does it further a person's spiritual, mental, emotional, relational development to bring awareness and insight to finances?             Further, what is Stewardship? And what can we learn about it from Lord of the Rings?             Dino Biaggi is a self-identified fan about being deliberate about life. He is a husband, father, Christian man, and the Financial Literacy Manager at Birch Community Services, a Sustainable Families Program, in Portland, OR. He supports families pursuing fiscal and financial health. Paired with donated household items and food, his team at Birch aims to "Teach a person how to fish," and in this way support families in becoming the answers to their own challenges.                                         Rhys and Dino talk about what financial health is, beyond merely having a good budgeting app. We talk about family vision, core values, and wise practices to keep in mind as we navigate 60-100 financial choices per day.             Along the way, we muse on how one's relationships with work and money closely interact with our experiences of stress and trauma, and thus can eerily mirror a person's addictive, compulsive, and obsessive relationships with alcohol, drugs, and pornography. Turns out that our insecurities and inner narratives have a huge impact on what we do with our finances.             Embedded in our conversation about finances, is a discussion about Stewardship - that notion of seeing one's self as entrusted with resources, and managing them well. We make overt references to Denethor, the Steward of Gondor, as a really BAD example of a Steward.             Dino also points us to several Biblical passages, most notably the famous Gospel "Parable of the Talents," which offers a model of stewardship done well.               We discern that financial health cannot be reduced to a simple checklist of Do's-and-Don't's, nor is it as simple as having a well-formatted budgeting form. And yet, Dino still offers a few bits of initial advice on how to begin becoming intentional about your finances and family values, in a practical way.   This podcast relies on the partnership of listeners - especially with dollars! Please visit www.patreon.com/outercircle to learn how to partner with the vision of this show!   Rhys Pasimio can be found through www.patreon.com/outercircle and on instagram at @newpattrencounseling and is always happy to dialogue with listeners bringing honest questions!   Dino Biaggi and Birch Community Services can be found at  - www.birchcommunitservices.org.     Dino references the following authors: David L. Bach, author of the "Finish Rich" book series. Beth Kobliner, author of "How to Make Your Kid a Money Genius, Even If You're Not."   Rhys further recommends the book, "For Love and Money: Exploring Sexual & Financial Betrayal in Relationship," by Debra L. Kaplan   #sobriety #sobrietywork #recovery #addiction #compulsion #trauma #narrative #innernarrative #money #finances #fiscal #stewardship #work #debt #savings #spirituality #spiritualdiscipline #gospel #bible #newtestament #parableofthetalents #jesus #christian #christianity #orthodoxy #orthodox #orthodoxchristianity #birchcommunityservices #bcs #family #familyvision #familyvalues

When you notice that you tend to end up as the Pharisee in one of the Gospel parables…what do you do about that? Welcome to our most ecumenical episode ever! Mary-Kate grew up Catholic, then married a Baptist, and now is being interviewed by Moses-Rhys who is Orthodox. We start off talking about Orthodox Christian weddings, and go from there to reflect on our spiritual heritages, our journeys towards greater closeness with God, what do we do with the Bible, and finally - the difference between healthy spirituality, and spiritualizer parts. As counselors, we talk about the relationship between spirituality and psychology, where they work together, and where they see things differently. We also look at how healing seems to happen, or rather - how it sometimes doesn't seem to happen. Sometimes it seems like “praying more” doesn't actually fix our problems. Moses-Rhys brings in reflections on the Gospel story of Jesus and the Woman Caught in Adultery. Mary Kate brings insight from the parable of the Good Samaritan. We talk about the “Spiritualizer Parts” which we describe as those efforts we make to be righteous, and make sure everyone else is righteous too…but without a total compassion. We ponder this daring idea of getting to know why we sin or act out, rather than jumping straight to punishing ourselves. Moses-Rhys shares about how his own struggles with “Sinful” sexual behaviors and thoughts have morphed from hating himself into being able to show love to a high-school aged part of himself that, back then, never felt seen. Mary Kate reflects on her “Pious Part,” who can be internally viscous, and causes anxiety in church, and who is in conflict with a more joyful and exuberant part of her. This leads her to reflect on the writings of St. Paul about the Body being made of many members. This is typically understood as referring to the Church as a whole, but Mary Kate supposes that it also describes the inner life of an individual as well. This leads to discussions about Passion, the nous, and pursuing the Inner Stillness. Mary Kate also reflects on the hazards of following Parts and thinking it's the Holy Spirit, while offering the more reliable approach of discerning the voice of God in the compassionate calm. Bible Passages referenced John 8(The Woman) Luke 10(The Good Samaritan) I Corinthians 12(The Many Parts) Also referenced, the book, Altogether You, by Jenna Riemersma. This podcast relies on the partnership of listeners - especially with dollars! Please visit www.patreon.com/outercircle to learn how to partner with the vision of this show! Rhys Pasimio can be found through www.patreon.com/outercircle and on instagram at @newpattrencounseling and is always happy to dialogue with listeners bringing honest questions! Mary Kate Sowell can be found at Abundant Life Counseling Services, abundantlifecounseling.com in Austin, Texas. #orthodox #orthodoxy #orthodoxchristianity #catholic #catholicism #ecumenical #ecumenism #theology #bible #scripture #spirituality #spiritualizer #ifs #internalfamilysystems #parts #healing #counseling #therapy #mentalhealth #addiction #trauma #childhood #family

In this episode, I share personal reflections on my Lenten Rigor for this year(Going to Matins every morning that I can, which is something like going to a meeting every day). I reflect on the intrusiveness of a sobriety built on adding something into my life as the inverse of focusing on subtracting something. In week one, I was excited. By week two, I'm tired, and questioning the worth of it. But I suspect that, with both the sober life and the spiritual life, the points of early fatigue are just when I need to push forward. This is what it feels like to have my life shaped by something. This is what it means to identify a value, and live by it, even at great cost. If this sort of conversation is helpful for you, please consider supporting the work of this podcast through dollar support at patreon.com/outercircle, and through rating, reviewing, and sharing the show on Apple, Itunes, Spotify, Youtube, and more. Follow me on instagram at @newpatterncounseling for even more updates. As always, I love your comments and feedback. Thanks for listening! #sobriety #spirituality #lent #fasting #matins #recovery #discipline #spiritualdisciplines

What's the most important component of good, healthy, long-term sobriety? Hint - it's not abstinence. It's also not self-care, boundaries, or good communication. It has something to do with self-reflection, self-awareness, and community. In this episode, I say that forgiveness and confession are the most vital components of sobriety. This tends to be true of the spiritual life as well. If I can forgive, and move on from bitterness, and let go of resentments, then I am free from how others burden me. If I can take ownership of my actions and their impact on others, and confess my sins, and disclose my secrets, and declare in the open how I have harmed others, then I am free from the paralysis of having to stay shamefully hidden, and I am empowered to repair what I broke, reconnect with people, and move on toward thriving. In this episode, I also muse on the concept of Self-Forgiveness. At this point in my life and career, I don't believe "Self-Forgiveness" is a viable concept, at least not in the Orthodox Christian Church. There is forgiveness of others, and there is confession of one's own sin, which then invites the forgiveness of others. In this, forgiveness assumes a community, and cannot be effectively done by a individual. If this sort of discussion is helpful for you, please join the community at patreon.com/outercircle. You can also follow me on instagram at @newpatterncounseling.com. I'd love to hear from you! #sobriety #spirituality #recovery #recoverywork #forgiveness #confession #forgivenesssunday #forgivenessvespers #orthodox #orthodoxy #orthodoxchristianity #lent #greatlent #community #church #counseling #mentalhealth #therapy

Rhys and Beth won the lottery...to an Internal Family Systems Level one training! From there they became friends and colleagues that talk about the Self, the Soul, and the Nature of Healing. In today's conversation, Beth shares part of her story of being healthy, then becoming sick, then learning to find an inner spiritual health that leads to outer healing. She and Rhys(also known as Moses) reflect on how their spiritual practices and the IFS framework have revolutionized their approaches to healing and to recovery. As part of our discussion, we offer a more in depth description of how the IFS framework conceives of a person. Each individual is a system of Parts(Manager Protectors, Firefighter Protectors, and Exiles) that is governed and nurtured best by the person's core Self. As we talk about this "Self," and what it is, we ponder over how the IFS concept of Self mirrors how some spiritual traditions conceive of the soul. At the end of it, we highly recommend getting to know your system and your parts. And not just getting to know, but getting to love every single part of you. This podcast relies on the partnership of listeners - especially with dollars! Please visit www.patreon.com/outercircle to learn how to partner with the vision of this show! Rhys Pasimio can be found through www.patreon.com/outercircle and on instagram at @newpattrencounseling and is always happy to dialogue with listeners bringing honest questions! Beth Piazza-Bonin can be found at her practice website https://www.pathofthehummingbird.org/. You can also follow her podcast at www.100percenthealing.com #spirituality #self #ifs #internalfamilysystems #parts #trauma #healing #100percenthealing #recovery #sobriety #orthodoxy #orthodoxchristianity #christianity #compassion #love #curiosity #rhyspasimio #newpatterncounseling #outercircleinnerstillness #pathofthehummingbird #counseling #therapy #mentalhealth

Always be a learner. Always be a beginner. Go back to Basics. Blessed are the Poor in Spirit. Be like the Publican, not the Pharisee. All these ideas are variations on the theme of remaining humble and bravely acknowledging what you don't know and where you fall short. If you can do this, you can always learn, always grow, and always work towards repairing damage you may have caused. Today's reflection is drawn from the parable of the Publican and the Pharisee, commemorated in the Orthodox Christian Church just three weeks prior to the beginning of Great Lent. This ancient parable is not just a cornerstone of the spiritual life, but has a wealth of insight for the sober life as well. If this kind of conversation is helpful to you, please consider liking, sharing, rating and reviewing the show. Please also join our community through patreon.com/outercircle, and follow further updates and news on instagram at @newpatterncounseling.com. Rhys Pasimio can be contacted through www.newpatterncounseling.com #greatlent #repentance #jesusprayer #pharisee #publican #humility #sobriety #learner #basics #recovery #recoverywork #counseling #mentalhealth #therapy #spirituality #orthodoxy #orthodoxchristian #orthodoxchristianchurch #rhyspasimio #newpatterncounseling

I'm releasing this about a week late, but this is a reflection inspired by Zacchaeus Sunday, commemorated this year on January 29. In preparation for Great Lent, we talk a lot about repentance, and Zacchaeus certainly is a brilliant example of radical and healing life change. The story of Zacchaeus also offers some metaphors and other insights useful to both spiritual growth and the sober way of life. In this little story, we can consider how we cope with insecurity, facing up to harm we've caused others, healing and welcoming back our exiled parts, forgiveness, amends, and finding community. Let me know your thoughts on this discussion! Please join the podcast community at patreon.com/outercircle, follow on youtube, and on instagram at @newpatterncounseling. Thanks for your support! #sobriety #sober #soberwayoflife #zacchaeus #zacchaeussunday #lent #greatlent #orthodox #orthodoxy #orthodoxchristian #healing #exile #ifs #bible #newtestament #rhyspasimio #outercircleinnerstillness #newpatterncounseling

As we approach Great Lent, Rhys reflects on seasons of sobriety and the spiritual life. He contemplates the daily, weekly, annual, and crisis rhythms of heightened clarity and profound struggle, especially as outlined in the liturgical year of the Orthodox Christian Church. When we know that at point in the future we will struggle or encounter crisis, how should we best prepare for these times? What is the best use of the insights gained in the peaceful times? Rhys talks about the impermanence of struggle...and of prosperity, and how in order to navigate periods of crisis, struggle, and suffering, we need to have already been practicing good spiritual and sobriety disciplines ahead of time. For more information, and to support the podcast, please visit patreon.com/outercircle, or www.newpatterncounseling.com, or follow on instagram at @newpatterncounseling. #seasons #sobriety #spirituality #orthodox #orthodox #orthodoxchristian #orthodoxchurch #liturgicalyear #lent #greatlent #feasting #fasting #spiritualdisciplines #habits #crisis #struggle #suffering #recovery #recoverywork

On the surface, James Cameron's film Avatar: The Way of Water is about blue people guarding their planet from humans, told in a spectacular way. Embedded in the spectacle, though, are some very powerful depictions of themes very relevant to healing, sobriety, family, and identity. In this story, we get to explore how to relate to outcasts/exiles, how to integrate outsiders, how to rely on gentle strength, how to find identity, and how to make families. All that to say, my friend and colleague Aaron Kelsay and I are both counselors and we both enjoyed the movie. In this episode, we share our thoughts and reflections. We hope this story may provide thought material that is useful to your growth process. For more information about Rhys Pasimio, visit www.newpatterncounseling.com, support the podcast at patreon.com/outercircle, or follow on instagram at @newpatterncounseling. For more information about Aaron Kelsay, visit www.progresscounselingllc.com. #avatar #wayofwater #movie #moviereview #sciencefiction #adventure #healing #trauma #community #outcast #exile #ifs #internalfamilysystems #orthodoxy #orthodoxchristianity #counseling #therapy #sobriety #addiction #mentalhealth

What does it mean to be an integrated Self? What does it mean to be a whole person? In today's episode, I interview Hart Dasteel - local to Portland, OR, a husband, father, healer, IFS enthusiast, and psychedelic integration coach. We talk about the healing relationship that is possible between a person's core Self and their Parts, and explore how this changes our parenting styles, hopefully helping us become more compassionate dads. Talking parts and burdens leads to talking about trauma, and the way trauma transmits through generations. This also means that healing transmits through generations. We find this a sign of hope - if not a very long-game sort of hope. Finally, we talk about Hart's work with psychedelics, and how that relates to sobriety work. He talks about the potential for deep inner work and self-discovery that could be possible through the aid of plant medicines, and a trained guide. Along with the possibilities, he mentions the cautions. "Psychedelics are not a panacea," and "Not everyone should use them." I wanted to have this conversation because of a deep respect for Hart and his healing work, and the depth of thought he brings to topics like plant based medicine, sobriety, and trauma. In my own counseling work, and as an Orthodox Christian, I myself do not use or support the use of psychedelics. I do find it valuable, though, to hear the perspectives of those who do, in order to remember that they are also human, and also working very diligently to good in the world in the best way they can. For more information, follow me on instagram at @newpatterncounseling. You can also find Hart on instagram at @entheo.genesis and at his website www.portlandpsychedeliccoach.com. Thanks for listening! #sobriety #recovery #recoverywork #iffs #internalfamilysystems #family #familysystems #parenting #fatherhood #trauma #intergenerationaltrauma #intergenerationalhealing #healing #selfawareness #insight #spirituality #innerstillness #hartdasteel #psychedeliccoach #rhyspasimio #newpatterncounseling #outercircle

What does it mean to be sober? I just have to stop drinking or smoking or looking at porn or gambling or raging, then I'm good...right? This counselor says abstinence alone is not enough. A good sobriety process, like a good spiritual practice, is not about what you're avoiding, but rather about what you are gaining. What are you seeking? Adding to your life? Creating with your energies? What values are you upholding? Relationships you are forging? In this episode, I reflect on different concepts of sobriety that go beyond merely stopping a thing. I talk about becoming more present, more connected, and living more congruently with your core values(see last episode about values). I talk about how neither sobriety nor spirituality work well when done part time, or when we try to "hobbify" them. Sobriety and a spiritual practice(especially one like the Orthodox concept of theosis) is meant to be all-encompassing, and entirely transformative. If this sort of conversation is helpful for you, please consider supporting this work through likes, shares, reviews, and through dollars by becoming a patron at patreon.com/outercircle. For more information about Rhys Pasimio, visit www.newpatterncounseling.com or follow him on instagram at @newpatterncounseling #sobriety #recovery #addiction #addictionrecovery #presence #mindfulness #values #spirituality #motivation #defineyourterms #abstinence #firstorderchange #secondorderchange

Welcome to the Outer Circle Inner Stillness LATE SHOW edition! Here is where you get unfiltered counselor brain as Rhys Pasimio and Stephen Black share honest thoughts and current musings, under the influence of the post-9:00 pm-fatigue, and the thrill of being two friends in the same room together! With no particular agenda, we find ourselves compelled to talk about friendship, about feelings, about trying to define "being a man," and the wide range of challenges that face men in their 30's and 40's who want to have deeper friendships. We notice the way that counselors tend to hang out, and how this might skew our view of what a normal emotional depth in a friendship is...but maybe in a healthy way. One key to deepening a friendship is to practice strategic vulnerability. You can stair-step your vulnerable disclosures, and share little bits at a time, and then slightly deeper bits, and see how the other person responds. Usually, vulnerability begets more vulnerability, as when you take a risk of making yourself known, you give the other person permission to step into the safe space you just created. (And on the rare occasion when they mishandle your vulnerability, you know this is probably not a friendship that can deepen). Inevitably, we talk about Internal Family Systems, and taking a curious approach to one's own inner life. We talk at length about how to approach our emotions, in our bodies and minds. We notice that, upon encountering big feelings, such as a pool of sadness...we don't die upon exposure. Instead, we can grow stronger. We wonder, is life chaotic with no purpose? Or are we guided, even through suffering, by Divine Love? Rhys notes the trailhead of, "I can see that my difficulties and sufferings are part of my growth...it's not that everything becomes a happy ending, but there's a way these things become useful...or there's the other way that says there's nothing guiding my life, no ultimate end, no ultimate purpose, therefore my highest good is the most pleasure, the most comfort, the most safety, therefore pain is intolerable." And based on Stephen Black's use of the term "See-Saw" instead of "Teeter-Totter," can you guess where he is from? Also, basic conversation tip number one - when you're in a conversation, and someone asks you a question, ask one in return. For more information about Rhys Pasimio, visit patreon.com/outercircle, or follow him on instagram at @newpatterncounseling. For more information about Stephen Black, look him up through Fircrest Behavioral Health at www.fircrestbh.com/stephen-black #friendship #relationship #masculinity #manhood #men #adulting #emotions #emotionalintelligence #internalfamilysystems #ifs #movetoward #curiosity #rhyspasimio #stephenblack #counseling #therapy #mentalhealth #lateshow #suffering #problemofevil

Life is hard, and the sober life is harder! Why do we push ourselves to say resist the urges that seem so strong? Why do we work hard to be emotionally and mentally present in a world that is so stressful? The answer is that we do the work for the prize at the end of the journey. If we don't know why we do what we do, then no amount of clever how will get us through the hard times. The why comes out of our core values. The why is our vision. In this episode, the first of a recurring series on sobriety tips, I talk about vision and values, about PSMART goals, about legacy, and planning for the short, medium, and long term future. The Visioning Exercise I mention can be found here - patreon.com/outercircle/visioning-76666550 #vision #visioning #goals #values #smartgoals #shortterm goals #mediumtermgoals #longtermgoals #legacy #recovery #recoverywork #addiction #addictionrecovery #sobriety #counseling #therapy #mentalhealth #outercircleinnerstillness #rhyspasimio

In today's interview, I get to interview Michele Mannix about her recovery journey. Michelle recently celebrated 38 years of sobriety! She is a clinical professional, teacher, trainer, and avid runner! She's worked for years in the mental health community, with houseless folks, people with long term mental illness, and supporting peers and other professionals in their sobriety. She is in recovery from alcohol and stimulants…and from nicotine! Michelle sees smoking as very connected to alcohol and drug use. Further, she also lives with and manages a Depressive Disorder! Turns out that substance use and other addictions can be a cover for other mental illness. Michelle has discovered an abstinence approach to be essential. Not just abstinence from one thing, but abstinence from a variety of things that all lead to each other is integral to her path to healing. Michelle reflects on her sobriety journey, from its beginnings, being confronted about drinking on the job, all the way to current day, solid in sobriety, and learning to thrive in old age. We talk about what is essential for sobriety, and what is essential for aging well. Daily practices for mindfulness and self-care, solid relationships, and investing in the community rank high among essential sobriety practices. She says, “Overall health and wellness is based on a little bit of this, a little bit of that, and practice, practice, practice. For me, [recovery and wellness] are about harmony, balance and service.” Her advice for beginners - “It's a day at a time, never give up, and it gets better.” Also, the hardest days of sobriety are better than the best days of addiction. “Everybody's capable of change. Everyone has strengths.” As people see more changes, they become more confident. They become more committed. As they become more committed, they move forward. This podcast relies on the partnership of listeners - especially with dollars! Please visit www.patreon.com/outercircle to learn how to partner with the vision of this show! Rhys Pasimio can be found through www.patreon.com/outercircle and on instagram at @newpattrencounseling and is always happy to dialogue with listeners bringing honest questions! Michele Mannix can be reached through her email at mvmannix@hotmail.com. #recovery #recoverywork #sobriety #addiction #addictionrecovery #counseling #mentalhealth #therapy #depression #oldage #aging #running #community #spirituality #dailypractice #rhyspasimio #outercircleinnerstillness

We've all heard we need to slow down. But how do busy people really slow down? How do you know when you've slowed down enough? Rhys Pasimio joins up with Cole Vandervort from the Canceled Apprentice podcast in the Outer Circle Inner Stillness's first collaboration! Rhys and Cole talk about juggling marriage and family, work and productivity, sobriety, and spiritual growth, and all the challenges we face in this ambitious task. Rhys owns up to not using drugs or alcohol, but “compulsively projecting” instead. Cole brings up the notion of scheduling time for God. Is this arrogance or wisdom? We conclude that it tends to be necessity…until someday when it becomes instinctive. Starting a habit is like setting a boundary. It's an embodied statement about what is important to you. If you can maintain a habit, or a discipline, you can gain trust in yourself that you'll be able to maintain your value. The key to any new discipline is not quantity, and not even quality; it's consistency. Cole talks about finding pockets of time and making very intentional choices about what to do with them, especially setting intentions and resolves for the day. Cole references “Practicing the Presence of God,” by Brother Lawrence. Rhys references “Way of the Pilgrim,” an Orthodox classic by an unknown monk. “In the practice [of prayer], you're changed by the practice itself, more than any particular outcome,” says Rhys. “We're are changed by God's presence; we're not changed by what we do or what we're accomplishing. We step in and we accept His invitation,” says Cole. This podcast relies on the partnership of listeners - especially with dollars! Please visit www.patreon.com/outercircle to learn how to partner with the vision of this show! Rhys Pasimio can be found through www.patreon.com/outercircle and on instagram at @newpattrencounseling and is always happy to dialogue with listeners bringing honest questions! Cole can be found on facebook and instagram, but not on twitter. He hosts the Canceled Apprentice (with one L), named after his history of being canceled, but his continued apprenticeship to following after God. Visit and support him at https://www.patreon.com/canceledapprentice #innerlife #spirituality #sobriety #christianity #faith #orthodoxy #orthodoxchristianity #prayer #jesusprayer #freedom #practice #dailypractice #habits #discipline #selfdiscipline #boundaries #margins #mentalhealth #counseling #therapy #coaching #pastor #canceledapprentice #outercircleinnerstillness

Where can one go to find Orthodoxy spiritual practice, mindfulness, physical fitness, and vegan cuisine, all in the same group? Does such a place exist? The answer is, Yes! At the Praxis Wellness Center, in New Jersey, hosted by Cornelius and Jaimie Swart, you can embark on a wellness journey that tends to your body, mind and, soul. In this episode, I interview Cornelius about the Praxis group, its origins, its vision for health, and the values that form. the daily practices. We discuss our respective journeys into Orthodox Christian thought and practice and reflect on how our faiths greatly benefited from finding a tangible set of daily embodied practices around which to shape our lives and thoughts. Cornelius draws on his expertise as a theology student, a chaplain and a yoga instructor, while Rhys draws on his training as a clinical counselor, in order. to discuss the many levels at which an integrative and holistic approach to both spirituality and wellness is imperative. NOTE - the praxis wellness shown in the video is incorrect - the correct website is https://praxiswellness.center/ This channel relies on the partnership of listeners - especially with dollars! Please visit www.patreon.com/outercircle to learn how to partner with the vision of this show! Rhys Pasimio can be found through www.patreon.com/outercircle and on instagram at @newpattrencounseling and is always happy to dialogue with listeners bringing honest questions! Cornelius Swart can be found through the praxiswellness.center, and on instagram at @praxis.wellness. We hope to hear from you soon! #outercircleinnerstillness #praxis #community #wellness #mentalhealth #spirituality #spiritualpractice #orthodoxy #orthodoxchristianity #easternorthodoxy #meditation #mindfulness #yoga #vegan #food #movement #dailypractice

How do you teach someone how to be sober? Do you teach theory? Behavior? Practical skills? Or should you invite them into an entirely different way of life, and a web of relationships? This challenge faced by addictions counselors and recovery specialists overlaps heavily with the priestly task of catechizing people on their journey into the Orthodox Christian church. Moses-Rhys Pasimio is an Orthodox Addictions Counselor from Portland, OR. Ben Klimek is an Orthodox residential counselor at a homeless shelter in Northeast Indiana. They met through the Lord of Spirits podcast, and bonded over the Orthodox Christian faith, and shared convictions about how to help those that society would rather ignore. In this episode, we tackle questions like, How do we form people? How do you invite someone into one way of life, from another? How do you do this in a clinical context, and how is this similar to a church context? Working with the homeless, Ben has discovered the absolute need for a "Web of relationships" to orient a person towards sobriety, and ultimately Christ. We also runs into the challenge of defining sobriety success. Ben says one of the problems with teaching good sobriety and right spirituality is the "problem of success." When we default to measuring success by behaviors or outcomes, we fall short. "It's not sober enough to just stop [using drugs]," says Rhys. "At some point there's no more things left to quit, and all your energy is going into maintaining the 'quit-ness,' and that's not the same as character growth, introspection, or healing. And it's not the same as pursuing anything, and that's the thing that needs to be present to complete this all; you need to be pursuing something. That is the unique offering of faith...we have this opportunity to pursue unity with Christ." Rhys says, “The measure of success needs to be more sophisticated than just, ‘don't do drugs'” Ben reflects on people stating a goal of, “I just want to be happy,” to which he says, “Well, how do you ‘happy'?” Happiness is a byproduct of something else, of moving in a certain direction. Rhys agrees that, “A good growth arc in any context is into more relationship.” We reflect on how good learning is not merely intellectual. It's not enough to learn what sobriety theoretically is, anymore than it saves a person to know information about the Trinity. “There's this idea that now that we've got access to limitless information, if I possess all this information, that somehow makes me sober,” says Ben, before saying how much more effective it was for his growth to undergo the challenge of naming one thousand gifts. Real actual growth is always going to frustrate any rubric of measurable outcomes,” Rhys. “Real growth is not numbers; in a way it can't be charted or measured.” Ben says, “If [all you do] is read the Big Book…that's not going to make you sober.” We discuss how there is no sustainable mental health or spirituality without gratitude. This podcast relies on the partnership of listeners - especially with dollars! Please visit www.patreon.com/outercircle to partner with this show! Rhys Pasimio can be found through patreon.com/outercircle and on instagram at @newpatterncounseling and is always happy to dialogue with listeners bringing honest questions. Ben Klimek cannot be found on social media, but you can email him at bendklimek@gmail.com or visit his writer's site at david-desjardins.com. This episode is sponsored in part by Fircrest Behavioral Health, www.fircrestbh.com #recovery #addiction #sobriety #homeless #houseless #spirituality #gratitude #catechesis #teaching #learning #success #process #healing #community #church #12steps #socialwork #counseling #therapy #groups #orthodoxy #orthodoxchristianity #easternorthodoxy