Unconditional Healing with Jeff Rubin

This will be my last episode for a while.  I'll be placing the podcast on hiatus to pursue my other interests of writing, working with individual students, and spending more time with family and friends as the pandemic lessens.  It's been a wonderful experience creating and hosting this podcast and I'm very proud of the work.  The episodes will remain available on all the major podcast platforms as well as the Unconditional Healing website, so please share the podcast with any friends who might benefit. This episode is a commentary on the 5-line Aspiration for Unconditional Health that I wrote many years ago when first offering the Healing Circles. The Aspiration follows:                                                                ----                                              Aspiration for Unconditional Health Grant your blessing that I remain gentle, awake and strong in the midst of pain.May I see beyond my own pain and become a beacon to others who are suffering.May I utilize illness and adversity to develop my mind and heart, and realize my true character.May I manifest compassion and fearlessness in all my activities,And never waver on the path of unconditional health and well-being.                                                           ----In this episode, I describe the origin and the intention of the Aspiration, and then its meaning and implications line by line.  It describes a path that views the painful circumstances in our lives as opportunities for growth and transformation, rather than outright calamities. I'd like to take this opportunity to thank Francesca Leo and Bobby Hughes, who served as my excellent producers,  helping me put together these many episodes.  Francesca served in that role initially, and then as she left to pursue an MBA, Bobby seamlessly took on that role for the duration of the show.  This podcast would not have been possible without them. I'd especially like to thank all of the listeners of the show! I truly hope that you benefited from the teachings presented here by myself, and by my outstanding guests who unhesitatingly shared their real-life experiences and wisdom.  I wish you a life of self-kindness and freedom from fear, and as the Aspiration invites, may you utilize illness and adversity to develop your mind and heart and realize your true character.                                                            ----If you enjoy this episode or any other, please share this podcast with one other friend. Thank you! To learn more about Unconditional Healing, please subscribe to our newsletter here.Jeff also hosts a twice-monthly online meeting called the Healing Circle. It's free, and you'll find like-minded folks with whom to learn and practice meditation and share the journey toward unconditional health and well-being. Note: You needn't be sick to benefit.If you'd like to help support Jeff's spiritual work and teachings, please consider becoming a patron by checking out Jeff's Unconditional Healing Patreon Page. 

Jeff welcomes Toni Bernhard to talk about her journey with chronic illness, the loss of identity and self-blame that inevitably follow, and her dive into writing. To her surprise, that innocent endeavor spawned four Buddhist-inspired books -  three on living well with illness and chronic pain, and one on walking the Buddhist path.  Two of those books are on the Unconditional Healing recommended reading list.We begin with Toni's trip to Paris with her husband in 2001, where she shockingly developed a viral illness that continues to this day and changed her life dramatically.  Initially dropping her Buddhist practice to focus on fixing her body, Toni had a “thunderbolt moment” when she consulted with noted Buddhist author Sylvia Boorstein who advised  ‘Your body is sick, your mind isn't sick'.  From that moment, Toni related to her illness in a completely different way and her healing journey began in earnest. She began to write as a way of checking in and touching her own pain, but Toni soon found that her writings had a universal value that would become her first book, How to Be Sick. In that book, Toni calls upon Buddhist teachings and resources as her guide, while also developing her own unique approach and practices to benefit those who are ill. Some of the many gems from Toni that were “mined” in this episode: Compassion as an antidote to suffering -  “What I recommend that people do is to focus on the actual facts in their life that are the source of suffering and bring compassion to it by crafting phrases that address that. I have found nothing alleviates suffering more than being able to speak, silently or whispering, to yourself about whatever is a source of suffering for you at the moment.”On working with the medical system -  “What I recommend about any kind of illness is gather information. Instead of just grabbing at the first thing you hear and then shutting down around it.” The loss of self-identity that accompanies a serious illness -  “I would lie in bed and say, ‘if I'm not a law professor, who am I?' I just felt worthless.  And it's interesting that what I learned from that is not to attach to any identity.”The present moment as a refuge – “When you bring yourself to the present, there's no suffering, even if you're in pain there's no suffering. Because all there is, is what you're experiencing right now.”Thoughts on death and dying -  “One thing the Buddha taught me was to rely on my experience. And I don't have experience of it (dying). I think it can be comforting for people to believe that there's a continuation of some sort at death and I think that's wonderful, but I can't force that on myself, so I'm left with 'I don't know',  and trying to be ok with that.”---------If you enjoy this episode, please share this podcast with one other friend. Thank you! To learn more about Unconditional Healing, please subscribe to our newsletter here.Jeff also hosts a twice-monthly online meeting called the Healing Circle. It's free, and you'll find like-minded folks with whom to learn and practice meditation and share the journey toward unconditional health and well-being. Note: You needn't be sick to benefit.If you'd like to help support this podcast and Jeff's work and teachings, please consider becoming a patron by checking out Jeff's Unconditional Healing Patreon Page. 

This episode is another solo show, featuring a talk Jeff gave at a Healing Circle in June of 2021. The full title is “Meditation is Not Therapy, Sanity is Not What You Think”.  Jeff chose this topic because in our materialistic society, everything gets filtered through the idea of winning, betterment, and constant improvement.  Which at its face makes sense - no one intentionally wants to lose or trend downward.  Except there is a flaw in that thinking which is an inability to bravely face the truth about ourselves in the present, always being driven by future benefits. This attitude completely misses the point when applied to meditation practice, which objectively acts as a mirror reflecting back our current state of mind to us, rather than one more self-improvement tool.  Lately, meditation is being appropriated by some corporations that bring meditation in-house. Ostensibly promoted as a way to help employees deal with stressors and anxiety, it's often used by management to improve the productivity of their employees and enhance the bottom line. On a personal level, meditation can of course benefit us, but as a byproduct of being more present with our feelings and our thought process, rather than as the goal in itself.  Focusing on the goal or outcome of who'd we like to become in the future is simply materialism wrapped in satin brocade. The second part of Jeff's talk asks, “What exactly is sanity?”  We are so dependent on our thought process for everything we do, that we assume it's the source of sanity or wisdom.  But that type of conceptual sanity is a relative notion, dependent upon who is asking, how we were brought up, where we live in the world, local customs, etc., rather than an objective reality. Is there such a thing as sanity without a thinker, without a relative reference point? These are some of the questions tackled in this episode, where the question IS actually the answer.If you enjoy this episode, please share this podcast with one other friend. Thank you! To learn more about Unconditional Healing, please subscribe to our newsletter here.Jeff also hosts a twice-monthly online meeting called the Healing Circle. It's free, and you'll find like-minded folks with whom to learn and practice meditation and share the journey toward unconditional health and well-being.If you'd like to help support this podcast, please consider becoming a patron by checking out Jeff's Unconditional Healing Patreon Page. Thoughts?  Guest suggestions?  Email me at jjrubin@gmail.com.

Gustavo Serafini was born with an extremely rare birth defect known as proximal femoral focal deficiency (PFFD).  ).  At birth, he had only his left arm and two shortened legs, one supported using a prosthesis and the other with a brace.  In spite of that beginning, Gustavo has gone on to become a successful entrepreneur with the company he co-founded with his brother, pureaudiovideo.com, providing exceptional home entertainment experiences in South Florida and beyond.  He is also the creator and host of the Enabled Disabled podcast, a platform of love and inspiration for people with disabilities and those who support them. In this episode, we explore Gustavo's journey from childhood with loving and supportive family and friends, but no real role models to emulate nor others with disabilities in his world. Helped by learning meditation at a young age, Gustavo used mindfulness practice to work through his negative thoughts and emotions by letting them be without becoming attached or repelled.  Today, he uses swimming as a moving meditation serving a similar purpose.  A lover of sports, Gustavo made his eighth-grade basketball team, overcoming naysaying by others (who didn't want him hurt by rejection) in the process. Eventually, he used that as an entry into coaching, beginning with his younger brother's basketball team and moving up to coaching high school. Of that experience, Gustavo says “I really enjoyed having twelve people who come from different backgrounds, are in different places in their lives, and trying to mold them together into a team, to become more than the sum of their parts”. Adding, “I learned so much about myself, about how to motivate people, how to bring people together, how to deal with those adversities”.After high school, once again pushing himself beyond self-imposed limits, Gustavo made the brave step to move away from his support system of family and friends in Los Angeles to attend the University of Chicago halfway across the country.  His first experience of snow and ice, a lack of accommodations, a ton of walking, outright rejection of his right to live as a disabled individual, were just some of the challenges he faced.  In meeting them head-on, he found an “inner resourcefulness” that has carried him to this day. Another huge influence in Gustavo's growth was Zen Buddhism. Specifically, he cites two books, Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind and Zen Training: Methods and Philosophy. He found that sitting with himself was a powerful tool for self-acceptance. He also took much inspiration from Martin Luther King, Jr, eventually writing his Master's thesis on Dr. King.  Gustavo saw Dr. King as a role model and the Civil Rights movement he led as being integrally aligned with the notion of a disabled person also being seen as an outsider, as the “other”.Gustavo's story has universal applications for us all and his motto of “If I can do it, so can you” resonates throughout the episode.If you enjoy this episode, please share this podcast with one other friend. Thank you! To learn more about Unconditional Healing, please subscribe to our newsletter here.I also host a twice-monthly online meeting called the Healing Circle. It's free, and you'll find like-minded folks with whom to learn and practice meditation and share the journey toward unconditional health and well-being.If you'd like to help support this podcast, please consider becoming a patron by checking out my Unconditional Healing Patreon Page. Thoughts?  Guest suggestions?  Email me at jjrubin@gmail.com.

This episode is a solo show, featuring a talk I gave recently at the Healing Circle.  It's entitled “Finding Your True North: Integrating Intention with Mindfulness Practice", and is especially timely given the resurgence of the pandemic.  It has to do with contemplating and sussing out our most deeply held beliefs, especially when feeling uncertain and discouraged. Intentions, as I explain, are different than goals, although the latter are best served when they spring from the former. In this talk, I differentiate between the overarching intentions that carry us throughout our life and the 24-hour intentions that help us relate to the daily challenges that we face.  The desire to live with intention leads to questions like, “Why am I doing what I'm doing?” or “Am I living the life I want and crave?”  Once we establish intentions, the process is aided and supported by mindfully checking in with ourselves as a way of staying on track and refining our values and beliefs.  I also talk about the early morning when we first awaken as (counter-intuitively) being one of the best times to carry out this investigation process.I hope you will enjoy this episode and find it helpful with staying in touch with who you are and living by your values during these perilous times. ****************·     To learn more about Unconditional Healing, please subscribe to our newsletter here with announcements, podcast links, events, etc. ·      You can also earn about and register for our next online Healing Circle here.  It's free, and you'll find like-minded folks with whom to practice meditation and share the journey toward unconditional health and well-being.·    If you'd like to help support this podcast and my other projects like the Healing Circle, please consider becoming a patron by checking out my Unconditional Healing Patreon Page. You'll receive first access to my talks on Unconditional Healing and admittance to events not available to the general public like group meditation instruction and practice.   ·      Thoughts?  Guest suggestions?  Email me at jjrubin@gmail.com.

I've wanted to have a cutting-edge dietary and nutritional expert on the show for a while as diet plays such a prominent role in our health and well-being, and has played a huge role in stabilizing my own chronic illness.   Enter Tim James, aka The Health Hero, and founder of Chemical Free Body, through which he offers nutritional coaching, podcasts, and customized nutritional supplements.  Tim learned his craft the hard way, having existed on the Standard American Diet for years (and Tums and Rolaids) until his body literally started to break down. In this episode, Tim recounts the story of how he dramatically turned around his own health after years of his horrible diet culminating in a near-death experience while on a family vacation. Shortly thereafter, Tim made his way to the Hippocrates Health Institute in Florida, accompanying his close friend there who was diagnosed with (supposedly) incurable blood cancer.  This life-altering visit to the Institute changed the trajectory of Tim's life and launched his dramatic health turnaround as well as his career.  Tim lays out his four core secrets, some of which you may have heard before, like drinking lots of pure water each day, but others that fly directly in the face of how and what we currently eat.  Such as avoiding liquids with meals, and doing breathwork as a de-stressor before eating. Tim also discusses food combining principles like not mixing proteins with starchy carbohydrates and not mixing fruits with vegetables at the same meal, and why these principles make sense. Tim is at heart an evangelist for health. His energy is contagious, and can be felt right through your speakers or headphones! You might want to take notes because the information comes fast and furious once he gets rolling. **************Before you listen, a few considerations.·      Please subscribe to the Unconditional Healing newsletter here with announcements, podcast links, events, etc. ·      You can learn about and register for our next online Healing Circle here.  It's free, and you'll find like-minded folks with whom to practice meditation and share the journey toward unconditional health and well-being.·      Much of my work with Unconditional Healing (like the twice-monthly Healing Circles I host that help those dealing with extreme illness and adversity) is free, and I plan to keep it that way. If you'd like to help support this podcast and my other projects like the Healing Circle, please consider becoming a patron by checking out my Unconditional Healing Patreon Page. You'll receive first access to my talks on Unconditional Healing and admittance to events not available to the general public like group meditation instruction and practice.  Or one-time offerings can be made via PayPal. ·      Thoughts?  Guest suggestions?  Email me at jjrubin@gmail.com.    

Jeremy Sherman is an out-of-the-box thinker who has made it his life's work to contemplate and write about humanity's most challenging dilemmas. He has spent decades of study on the human condition, and is an expert on the many ways we employ language to advantage and also to make our lives more difficult and painful. Jeremy has invented over 2000 novel terms for those times when current terminology just doesn't suffice. He has also published over 1000 articles on Psychology Today and written two books.  His insight and irreverence really shine through in his newest book, titled “What's Up With Assholes? How to Spot and Stop Them Without Becoming One”, which is due out this year. Using Jeremy's writing and quotes as jumping-off points, our conversation runs the gamut from whether humans possess innate wisdom, to working with fear skillfully. We also discuss the two prime directives of every organism, the need to protect against things that degenerate it (us), and the need to repair what does degenerate.   This underlying principle applies to language and concepts as well, which leaves us humans with a confirmation bias, favoring those things that reinforce what we like to hear and filtering out concepts/language that we think threaten us. While some of us treat this as a problem to manage, others take it as a license to simply avoid things that bring up doubt. On that topic, Jeremy discerns the difference between healthy doubt and useless doubt. Of language, Jeremy says “We worry emotionally, the way other animals do, but we get these feedback loops going where we rev out because we can remember past horrors, and we can anticipate future horrors, we can imagine all sorts of unreal horrors.“   He adds, “That's one thing that language does, it overwhelms us and makes us anxious.  The other thing it does is affords us easy ways to deflect that which makes us anxious.  So we've got climate change, but then we've got all these people who are worried about Dr. Seuss books being canceled, that would be an example of threat displacement.” There's a lot more in this episode that we cover, of course, sprinkled throughout with Jeremy's wry sense of self-deprecating humor.  ************Before you leave, a few considerations.·      Why not subscribe to the Unconditional Healing newsletter here with announcements, podcast links, events, etc. ·      You can learn about and register for our next online Healing Circle here.  It's free, and you'll find like-minded folks with whom to practice meditation and share the journey toward unconditional health and well-being.·      Much of my work with Unconditional Healing, like the Healing Circles, is free and I'd love to keep it that way. If you'd like to help support this podcast and my other projects, while also receiving access to my talks on Unconditional Healing and admittance to events not available to the general public like group meditation instruction and practice, please check out my Unconditional Healing  Patreon Page.·      Thoughts?  Guest suggestions?  Email me at jjrubin@gmail.com.

Sam Thiara is a master storyteller, using that honed skill very effectively in his role as mentor, teacher and coach to thousands of people over the years.  This skill was on display in Sam's two TEDx talks, “Discovering the Extraordinary in the Ordinary”, and “Activating the Voice Within to be Louder than the Noise Around”. Exposed to adversity as a small boy of nine years old when his father became paralyzed from the waist down, Sam learned to live in the present at an early age and to seek out and embrace the positive events in his life. He did that by actively pausing to reflect and choose which path to follow when faced with a fork in the road. Coming out of university with an attitude of “Who will be lucky to get me?”, Sam still owns and displays the eighty-six rejection letters he received when applying for employment.  He took employment as a janitor and we talk about the three huge life lessons he learned on that job. We discuss the difference between storytelling when teaching versus story sharing when coaching or counseling others. While the former is usually presented to groups, the latter involves dialogue and an interactive conversation. Sam has mastered the art of peeling away negative self-talk and extracting successes and strengths from the stories people share with him, and how the things we normally view as ordinary turn out to be extraordinary. We discuss one student in particular, challenged with mental health issues, who was on his way to dropping out of the University.  But Sam, by reflecting the conversation and narrative back to the student helped him to discover his real calling and passion in life.  When I asked Sam, what holds us back from telling and living our story, from essentially discovering and cultivating ourselves, he unequivocally said it was fear, specifically the fear that others won't value our “story”, and by extension, who we are.  We also discuss the reverse logic that many pursue in their life, placing what they do before understanding who they are.  Many of the students in the business school where Sam works place goals before intentions and we discuss the very important differences.  On that note, we delve into the importance of having non-negotiable, uncompromising foundations in one's life and Sam talks of his own five core principles. This brings immense clarity when pursing work, relationships, basically anything we take on. Sam also discusses his community work as a “self-professed do-gooder”, and of changing the world through the eyes of those he supports, helping them to see themselves and their work more clearly. Sam's story comes full circle when we discuss his growing up as a British-born Canadian, with parents from Fiji, and a grandfather from India.  This question of self-identity propels Sam and his wife to India to find his ancient roots, working only from a picture of his grandfather's home….only to discover the final destination paled beside the journey itself.*******************Before you leave, why not subscribe to the Unconditional Healing newsletter here with announcements, podcast links, events, etc. You can learn about and register for our next online Healing Circle here.  It's free, and you'll find like-minded folks with whom to practice meditation and share the journey toward unconditional health and well-being. If you'd like to help support this podcast and Jeff's other projects, while also receiving benefits and admittance to events not available to the general public, please check out our Patreon Page. Thoughts?  Guest suggestions?  Email me at jjrubin@gmail.com.

I try never to use the word “warrior” lightly.  But Dr. BJ Miller is a warrior of the first order, having overcome and thrived after a near-fatal electrical accident took half his arm and both legs below the knee.  BJ talks about how that life-shattering experience proved to be a foretaste of what it means to confront death, a taboo subject in our culture.  BJ utilized his accident as a launch point to pursue medicine as a career and to become one of the world's leading experts and thought leaders on palliative care and hospice, outlined in his book, A Beginner's Guide to the End: Practical Advice for Living Life and Facing Death. He has been featured in conversation with Oprah on her Soul Story show, and his groundbreaking TED talk has been viewed millions of times.  We discuss BJ's accident, the loss of identity that inevitably follows such a complete upending of one's life, and how BJ's own healing journey helped shape his unique approach to patient care and improving end-of-life experiences for his patients. After completing Medical school, BJ was selected to serve as the Executive Director of the famous Zen Hospice Project (sadly, now closed) in San Francisco, whose guest house for years served as an exemplar for the compassionate care and nurturing of individuals at life's end. We discuss the limitations of the current health care system's approach to hospice, which reinforces the current fear-based view of death as a defeat or failure, rather than a natural corollary of life.   BJ currently serves as a counselor at Mettle Health, an organization that he co-founded, consisting of physicians, counselors, and social workers that provide support and guidance for those experiencing serious illness. We talk about its mission to ameliorate the singular focus on disease adopted by our current health care system, and to shift the focus of patient care back onto the patient. If you are at all interested in both an enthralling story of healing and recovery and a complete reframing of the way we approach the end of life,  you owe it to yourself to have a listen.  BJ is an amazing individual and I feel blessed to have him on the Unconditional Healing show. After you listen, you can learn about and register for our next online Healing Circle here.  It's free,  and you'll find like-minded folks with whom to practice meditation and share the journey toward unconditional health and well-being.  If you'd like to help support this podcast and Jeff's other projects, while also receiving benefits and admittance to events not available to the general public, please check out our Patreon page .You are always invited to join our Unconditional Healing Facebook group here. Thoughts?  Guest suggestions?  Email me at jjrubin@gmail.com.

Now retired, Ann Cason has spent most of her adult life cultivating, refining, and writing about the art and science of caring for the elderly and the ailing.  Her book Circles of Care is generally accepted as the benchmark for how to provide at-home care for an elder,  but at the time of publication (2001) was still considered somewhat revolutionary.  Ann's involvement with the elderly was an accident. Suffering from a hallucination, (not all that uncommon in the go-go 1970's), Ann's psychiatrist told her “I don't think you need Psychiatry, I think what you need is a path” and introduced her to Alan Watts. From there, she made her way to Boulder, CO, then a hotbed of spirituality, where she met Chogyam Trungpa and learned to meditate.  While in Boulder, Ann started working with a friend, providing elderly women with care at their homes, a radical idea at the time, thus avoiding the move into a nursing home.They created an around-the-clock care program for their clients, which led to them starting a business even though both were complete novices in the business world. They called the startup Dana Homecare – “Dana” being a Sanskrit word translated as “generosity”. Ironically, they soon realized that it was “ the elders in our care who were being so generous to let us into their worlds”.  Within a year, they had forty clients and soon expanded to Chicago and Boston. Fast forward many years and Ann's company is reborn as Circles of Care, based on the principle of creating completely coordinated care with the client in the middle surrounded by all the various roles of that person's world. Ann brings her mindfulness and awareness practice to bear in this work writing that “you can't just go in and look at someone… it could be as simple as asking where I should put my coat, or asking if you like tea and can I make you a cup of tea?  This soup-to-nuts approach of care included family members, caregivers, health care workers, the maid, and even the veterinarian.  As Ann says, “That was our task, to meet and take care of each other, and meet the mail carrier and all the people in that old person's world, so that there was a little world around the elder”. We also talk about death and dying, where Ann feels that “expertise” is one of the worst things you can have when working with those who are dying.  Thoughts we hold about death and the actual experience of dying are often very different.  But we also discuss the very practical details of preparing for death - the power of attorney, the listing of assets and their location, etc.  Finally, we discuss probably the most important element of all, bringing a sense of worthiness to the forefront of care. Ann has used situations, exercises, workshops, and other educational materials to let the persons in her care discover their own worth and self-esteem.   Since she is now retired, the best way to reach Ann is: cason.ann@gmail.comAfter you listen, you can learn about and register for our next online Healing Circle here.  It's free,  and you'll find like-minded folks with whom to practice meditation and share the journey toward unconditional health and well-being.  If you'd like to help support this podcast and Jeff's other projects, while also receiving benefits and admittance to events not available to the general public, please check out our Patreon page .Finally, you are always invited to join our Unconditional Facebook group page here.

Laura Khoudari came by her profession as a trauma-informed personal trainer through a circuitous route.  No gym rat, Laura avoided working out and weight training until the unresolved pain in her spine from a herniated disc while in college left her no choice.  Today, she works exclusively with clients who identify as living with trauma and uses embodied strength training and other mindfulness practices to help them heal and transform. In Laura's own words she describes her work as “turning strength training from just a movement practice into a healing practice”.  She does that by helping clients focus on how they feel rather than the more conventional benchmark of focusing on physical results alone.  Many of Laura's clients share her former belief of feeling that they don't belong in a gym.  While healing trauma is a multi-dimensional process, including talk therapy and other modalities, Laura cautions against defining ourselves as our illness or disability.  Especially with regard to trauma and PTSD, this is so vitally important. As one dives into the work of self-exploration, it's so easy to see oneself as hopelessly and irreparably damaged, losing sight of the other qualities that define us as wholesome, healthy human beings.  In our conversation, we cover topics elucidated in Laura's groundbreaking book with the adroit title, Lifting Heavy Things. She defines trauma, how it manifests in the body and the mind, and how strength training can heal the physiological and psychological aspects of one's being. More than strength training alone, Laura uses other modalities like journaling and even haiku writing to help clients “come to their senses”, and learn to view the body as a wellspring of wisdom and sensitivity.  It is a scientific fact that unprocessed emotions, as exhibited with trauma, are stored in the body and embodiment work can help to access these repressed impressions.  Having coincidentally just added weight training to my own physical therapy regimen, I can attest that it adds a level of confidence and self-assurance into the mix not seen with simple resistance training exercises.  However, it's important to work with a professional fitness trainer or physical therapist at the beginning.   More on Laura here.After you listen, you can learn about and register for our next online Healing Circle here.  It's free,  and you'll find like-minded folks with whom to practice meditation and share the journey toward unconditional health and well-being.  If you'd like to help support this podcast and Jeff's other projects, while also receiving benefits and admittance to events not available to the general public, please check out our Patreon page . Finally,  you are always invited to join our Unconditional Healing Facebook group here. 

This episode is a very special one! I so wanted to commemorate the anniversary of 9/11, when the World Trade Center Towers shockingly came down twenty years ago on this day.  Being that I live in close proximity to New York City, it's impossible to ignore the anniversary each year, and it is especially hard this year with the end of the “Forever War” in Afghanistan that was launched in response to the 9/11 assault. My guest this week is a gentleman who was in the Tower that day and lived to tell about it, the first survivor of 9/11 I have ever spoken with directly.  Kushal Choksi, who came to America from India, was working for Goldman Sachs at that time, and was realizing the so-called “American Dream”.  He was ascending the corporate ladder, and avidly integrating into the company's go-go culture until that fateful day dramatically changed his life.  Kushal's accounts of that day are compelling and visceral:Seeing the second tower get hit with his "naked eye" and being right underneath it as it happened. The grey cloud outside looking just like an apocalyptic movie, with splinters and embers falling from the sky.Running mindlessly through the streets, and leaping onto a ferry that had already left the dock.There are so many wonderful lessons in this episode. Kushal's story is so much about negotiating life when we face unexpected difficult circumstances. He is a genuine example of the Unconditional Healing ethos, where difficulties force us to get in touch with ourselves in a much deeper way and reach a level of healing that was heretofore unimagined. During our conversation, Kushal describes:His initial time working 70 hour weeks “in a blind race to get to I don't know where”How Sky-Breath meditation practice, which while not eliminating his memories of 9/11, has helped to lessen their grip. Feeling like he was driving with a foot on both the gas and the brakes, and how he decided to take his foot off the brakes in order to really live life. Today, Kushal and his wife, (also a Wall Street trader originally),  have created and built Elements Truffles, a company that creates unique artisanal chocolate products inspired by the healing science of Ayurveda.   And as part of his healing process, Kushal has just completed an autobiographical novel, “On a Wing and a Prayer” which tells a heartwarming story of spirituality, redemption, and self-exploration. And after you listen, you can learn about and register for our next online Healing Circle here.  It's free,  and you'll find like-minded folks with whom to practice meditation and share the journey toward unconditional health and well-being.  If you'd like to help support this podcast and Jeff's other projects, while also receiving benefits and admittance to events not available to the general public, please check out our Patreon page here. Finally,  you are always invited to join our Unconditional Healing Facebook group here. 

When we experience great difficulty in our life, we tend to panic and “catastrophize”, because we're so stuck on expecting our life to unfold in a certain way.  So, this talk, originally given to a Healing Circle, is very much about looking at our attitudes and realizing just how much we are addicted to comfort and security, and how little we are prepared for the opposite - discomfort and uncertainty.  It is based upon Buddhist teachings first formulated by an 11th century master from India named Atisha.  The talk's original title, “Transform Bad Circumstances into the Path”,  is one of fifty-nine slogans or aphorisms called Lojong teachings that are designed to train the mind in compassion and resilience.  Atisha initially brought these teachings to Tibet from India over a thousand years ago, but they still hold tremendous wisdom and resonance for our modern culture. In truth, this particular teaching only makes sense when we adopt a non-gaining, non-materialistic view of life, rather than adopting a rigid version of what should happen. Otherwise, any variance to what we expect to happen in life will be seen as something to deny, ward off, or remove, with no redeeming qualities at all.I use examples from my own twenty-year history with a chronic illness, and how my experience led me to adopt the much broader model of health that we use today in Unconditional Healing.  I also discuss the concept of reverse meditations which strive to see the nature of things rather than just the superficial appearance of things. There are two books I'd like to cite if you'd like to learn more about these Lojong teachings. One is called, “Training in Compassion: Zen Teachings on the Practice of Lojong”. by Norman Fischer and the other is called “Training the Mind and Cultivating Loving-Kindness” by Chogyam Trungpa. After you listen, you can learn about and register for our next Healing Circlehere.  (It's virtual, there is no charge, and you'll find like-minded folks with whom to practice meditation, and share the journey toward unconditional health and well-being).  To help support this podcast and Jeff's other projects, while also receiving benefits and admittance to events not available to the general public, please visit our Patreon page here. And you are always invited to join our Unconditional Healing Facebook group here. 

How does one bring spirituality to the task of counseling clients at moments of crisis or loss?  Can one move beyond the standards of traditional counseling to identify what a person needs and wants in life and then design a plan to achieve it?   These are the questions that Dr. Jeanne Michele attempts to answer during each of her counseling sessions with individuals and couples. Jeanne is considered part coach, part teacher, part mentor, part change agent, but spirituality is at the heart of what she does.  Raised as a Catholic, Jeanne made a profound mystical connection to Mary Magdalene at a tender age, which to this day, informs her work and her life.   In our wide-ranging conversation, we discuss:How spirituality aids individuals and couples in moving forward after setbacksThe what, why, and where of holding courageous conversationsHow these conversations can release blockages and soften deeply held belief systemsWhy a life crisis can help to strengthen, awaken, and transformThe importance of self-discipline (taking a sacred pause) when fighting the impulse to lash out and blame We also discuss the loss of Jeanne's brother, Michael, to AIDS, almost thirty years ago. This was at a time when AIDS was a certain death sentence, and those so afflicted were considered society's pariahs.   Her brother's illness and passing had profound impacts on Jeanne's life and future calling. It also revealed the importance and power of community support when one is in dire straits, and the transformative power of suffering to awaken and heal.For more info on Jeanne, click here.After you listen, you can learn about and register for our next Healing Circle here.  It's virtual, there is no charge, and you'll find like-minded folks with whom to practice meditation, and share the journey toward unconditional health and well-being.  To help support this podcast and Jeff's other projects, while also receiving benefits and admittance to events not available to the general public, please visit our Patreon page here.   

Andrew Holecek is a prolific author and spiritual teacher who writes and teaches extensively on navigating the Buddhist path.  He is able to present this tradition from a contemporary perspective, by skillfully marrying the ancient wisdom of the East with the scientific findings and knowledge of the West. I first encountered Andrew years ago when I read his first book, The Power and the Pain. Drawing upon his years of intensive study and practice, the book teaches the value and opportunities that exist in obstacles and difficulties on the spiritual path, a philosophy that resonated with me as someone confronting a serious chronic illness. I found his work a perfect fit for my Unconditional Healing teachings, as an approach towards lessening suffering when our life circumstances change and we are faced with painful, unavoidable situations. To back up a bit, Andrew was raised in a Catholic household and had an experience with meditation at the age of 20 that changed the course of his life. Confused by this very blissful experience, he began a quest to explore many of the world's spiritual and religious traditions that could help explain what had occurred.  Eventually, after years of searching, Andrew's journey led him to the East where he studied Tibetan Buddhism for years with many masters of that tradition.During our conversation, we then take a deep dive into Andrew's second book, Preparing to Die: Practical Advice and Spiritual Wisdom from the Tibetan Buddhist Tradition. While encountering our own mortality is both scary and fraught with the notion that “there'll be time for that”,  Andrew discusses the subject in a matter-of-fact, almost scientific way that expertly covers the topic from both the spiritual and the practical perspective of dealing with end-of-life issues. We talk about what constitutes a good death, the ability to let go of everything, and as Andrew says, “to stop looking in the rear-view mirror”. If you think about it, we spend more time planning our yearly vacation than we do planning for arguably the most seminal event of our lives. We also spend time discussing lucid dreaming, the ability to became self-aware that one is dreaming while in the midst of a dream. Widely recognized as an expert on lucid dreaming and the Tibetan yogas of sleep and dream, Andrew is an experienced guide for students drawn to these powerful nocturnal practices. He makes the case that lucid dreaming is a skill that can be acquired by anyone.  Finally, Andrew offers advice on the many benefits of meditation for anyone from any walk of life or tradition. For more info on Andrew, click here.After you listen, you can learn about and register for our next Healing Circle here.  It's virtual, there is no charge, and you'll find like-minded folks with whom to practice meditation, and share the journey toward unconditional health and well-being.  And you are always invited to join our Unconditional Healing Facebook group here.  

This episode is about attitude.  How do we face adversity when it inevitably comes into our life?  What tools do we rely on when the going gets rough?  In answering these questions, we need to begin where we are, by looking at our current state of mind. How much of our views of the world are wrapped up in our biases, and what others think about us?  One bias that we typically share is a belief in a solid “self” that seeks to maintain control, and around which, the world revolves. At every moment, that belief is in question, but when things go well, when they go “our way”, it becomes easy to gloss over our doubt. That is where the wisdom aspect of adversity comes in.  Significant adversity in our life reveals that the so-called “controller” is not in control, and at that time, we may lose the entire sense of “who we are”.  However, as painful as this is to live through, there is another side to the story.  Adversity brings with it a golden opportunity to face ourselves, with our defense mechanisms and biases no longer working on auto-pilot.  It might be the first time in our life that we ask deep and profound questions about our life and its purpose.But we needn't wait for adversity to visit us to start the process.  In this episode, I explain how we can begin the work of seeing how our mind works by bringing mindfulness practice to bear, and by adopting a larger perspective. We can notice how attached we are to our thoughts, and we can question their origin.  We can realize that impermanence and uncertainty are always with us, no matter how hard we try to avoid that fact. We can seek a more “enlightened perspective” through reading and contemplation.There is more to say about the wisdom of adversity in the episode. As someone living with a chronic illness for many years, I have thought deeply about my life and its purpose.  It has changed the way I think about health and well-being and the way we typically view those elements through a very narrow lens.  The notion of unconditional health, an inherent sense of well-being that transcends one's circumstances, has certainly sprung from those efforts.   And after you listen,  learn about, and register for our next Healing Circle here.  It's virtual, there is no charge,  and you'll find like-minded folks with whom to practice meditation, and share the journey toward unconditional health and well-being. You are always invited to join our Unconditional Healing Facebook group here.

Playing a complicated classical piece on the piano can be amongst the most complex and difficult feats of human hand-eye coordination and cognitive processing.  In attempting to master their art with painstaking diligent practice, 75% of professional musicians suffer injuries, compounded by trying to play through the pain. Enter Madeline Bruser.  Raised as an exceptionally talented pianist, Madeline performed as a soloist with the Denver and San Francisco Symphony Orchestras at a young age.Confronting a crisis of confidence at a major audition, Madeline sought a means to overcome performance anxiety under pressure, and in so doing, launched a new career helping other musicians. She discovered that mindfulness meditation, with its focus on direct experience of the sense perceptions and attention to one's body and energy, could have a major impact on one's confidence and ability to relax. In addition, she discovered that when it comes to practice, less is often more, as long as it's the right kind of practice. In our conversation, Madeline discusses many of the concepts and exercises outlined in her acclaimed book, The Art of Practicing, Making Music From the Heart. Many of these techniques, such as using active listening to improve rhythm and coordination, learning the effects of biomechanical principles on “right effort”, and methods to move beyond fear can be applied effectively for non-musicians as well. Madeline's work is such a fit for Unconditional Healing with her emphasis on mindfulness, tuning into the body's wisdom, connecting to one's heart, and making a healing journey on multiple levels.  Her work has broad application for anyone that needs to perform under pressure.  And after you listen,  learn about, and register for our next Healing Circle here.  It's virtual, there is no charge,  and you'll find like-minded folks with whom to practice meditation, and share the journey toward unconditional health and well-being. You are always invited to join our Unconditional Healing Facebook group here.

Dr. Elaine Yuen is an educator, interfaith chaplain, Buddhist minister, and artist. She is the former chair of the Wisdom Traditions Department and associate professor at Naropa University in Boulder, Colorado. Now retired, she continues to teach and write on pastoral caregiving (chaplaincy), contemplative education, and Buddhist studies. She recently moved back to Philadelphia where she was an associate professor, researcher, and interfaith chaplain at Thomas Jefferson University. Our conversation focuses on Elaine's work as a chaplain, a keen interest of mine and very synchronous with Unconditional Healing since it relates to working with people at often the very worst moment of their lives. Having been trained as an interfaith chaplain, and as a Buddhist minister, we discuss Elaine's abiding interest in bringing caring and authentic presence to all of our social interactions.  We also discuss Elaine's early upbringing as a Christian, her interest in spirituality, and how she auspiciously met her Buddhist teacher, (who happens to be my root teacher as well).  We also delve into her work as a skilled artist and teacher of what is known as Shambhala Art or Dharma Art…. as well as the concept of “Art in Everyday Life”, where even seemingly mundane activities can be viewed as artistic endeavors.  Along those lines, Elaine discusses the practice of knitting as a natural mindfulness practice and vehicle for slowing down in an increasingly frenetic world.  We also discuss the ancient Japanese art form of Kintsugi, taking broken pottery and healing and transforming it in both function and form.  With both disciplines, Elaine has created workshops to bring these beautiful practices to both older and younger participants.Information on Elaine's many projects can be found here.Please join me in conversation with a woman whose life and work truly exemplify presence, grace, and compassion. 

None of us openly welcomes chaos and uncertainty into our life. Even hearing those words can send a shudder through our bodies.  Yet, eventually, they will come unbidden for all of us.  This solo episode comprises a talk I gave right before the USA presidential election of 2020 at the New York City Shambhala meditation center when chaos and uncertainty reigned from a global pandemic and a polarized electorate in the United States.  When we face adversity in our life, we often see it through a purely external lens, as if the difficulty was attacking us solely from the outside. In truth, our internal reactions to chaos comprising the mental, emotional and spiritual dimensions of our humanity, are the only elements over which we have control. And they are critical in determining whether chaos and uncertainty destroy us or strengthen us.  When seen through a spiritual lens,  adversity presents an opportunity to explore ourselves without our psychological masks on.   In this episode I discuss:The etymological origins of the word “chaos” and its emotional implicationsThe notion that uncertainty is a neutral concept, filled with possibility rather than doomHow chaos and uncertainty act to disrupt our self-identity and how that disruption can have specific benefits Several specific ways for dealing with chaos and uncertainty constructivelyTowards the end of the episode (at 33 minutes: 45 seconds), I lay out a specific four-step practice (called the 4 S's practice)  for managing difficult emotions, drawing upon the Neuro-Emotional Technique and the Traditional Chinese 5 elements system. There is an accompanying video for this practice found here or at the top of every page of the Unconditional Healing website.  It's worth viewing as there are physical gestures accompanying the practice. And please consider joining our Unconditional Healing private FB group:

Chungliang Al Huang is a human dynamo and just listening to him raises one’s spirits about what is possible.  He is one of the most skilled masters of Tai Ji in the world but has also made his influence known in many other disciplines throughout his life.  He was born and grew up in Shanghai in the 1930s and his family moved to Taiwan early on and he was trained in many of the classic disciplines.  Longing to move to the West, he came here in the roaring ’60s ostensibly to study Architecture and Choreography. But soon after, he befriended Alan Watts and became a part of the Human Potential Movement, then sweeping the country’s young spiritual seekers, as a teacher of Tai Ji. Chungliang was at the right place at the right time and collaborated with many of that era’s luminaries, including Alan Watts, Joseph Campbell, Gregory Bateson, and John Blofeld, who was an early mentor. But he is also a gifted dancer and performing artist, much of which is based on his Tai Ji philosophy and practice.  He auspiciously danced with Sammy Davis Jr. on tour, performed with martial artist Bruce Lee, and danced at Jacob’s Pillow, the renowned performance space in the Massachusetts Berkshire Mountains. Chungliang has also written and collaborated on over a dozen books including his treatise on Tai Ji, Embrace Tiger Return to Mountain: The Essence of Taiji that has been translated into 14 languages. Much of Master Huang’s teachings, creations, and collaborations can be found at Livingtao.org, the organization he founded to support his work and philosophy.Much of our conversation is a free-flowing movement from topic to topic, beginning with his early life and how he rediscovered himself again and again.  His energy, humility, and positivity is self-evident throughout, and it was my pleasure to speak with him about his life. During our conversation, at about the 38:13 mark in the podcast,  Master Huang held up to the camera and discussed 3 Chinese characters which represent particular Tai Ji principles. If you’d like to view the video of that portion of the conversation,  you can find a link for it here,  which links to my Unconditional Healing YouTube channel. 

Harold “Hackie” Reitman is one of the most interesting and multi-talented folks I've ever met.  In his very “out-of-the-box” career, Hackie has been a distinguished orthopedic surgeon,  a professional heavyweight boxer, an author of books and screenplays, a filmmaker, and an advocate, mentor, and entrepreneur for the neuro-diverse community.  With all that under his belt, Hackie is humble, self-effacing with a great sense of humor, and I came away thinking someone should make a movie about this guy’s life because it’s so fantastical. As a teen, Hackie developed some skills in basketball and boxing and after high school was accepted into the six-year medical program at Boston University.  As a first-year medical student at Boston University, Hackie entered and won the prestigious amateur Lowell New England Golden Gloves Boxing Championship at heavyweight, with all four wins coming by knockout.  He was then offered a very lucrative contract to box professionally but turned it down to return to medical school, (and boy, is there a great story behind that)! In 1987, Hackie’s only daughter, Rebecca, age two, required emergency surgery for a brain tumor and it turned out to be a life-changing event for both. Hackie made a pact with God that if Rebecca survived, he’d return to boxing at the then “way-too-old -to-be-doing-this” age of 38 and direct all his prize winnings to children’s charities. (I vaguely remember at that time the media frenzy about “the Boxing Doctor” and his unlikely career change at age 38).  Rebecca survived and Hackie went on to fight 26 bouts with a record of 13 wins, 7 losses, and 6 draws. Most impressively, Hackie was knocked down, but never counted out in any bout.    Hackie went on to become the founder of a media company, PCE media, and wrote, produced, and directed the movie, “The Square Root of 2”, a full-length film starring Darby Stanchfield from the hit show “Scandal”. The film is based on Rebecca’s struggles with learning disorders while pursuing a mathematics degree at Georgia Tech University. After her graduation,  Hackie discovered that Rebecca was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome, an illness with which he was totally unfamiliar even as an M.D. So of course he studied up and wrote the book, “Aspertools: The Practical Guide for Understanding and Embracing Asperger’s, Autism Spectrum Disorders and Neurodiversity.Hackie became a huge advocate for the neuro-diverse community, arguing that our brains all work differently and one size does not universally fit all.  He is the founder of the neuro-diversity website DiferentBrains.org. which is a repository for his various advocacy, mentoring, interviewing, and video projects dedicated to bringing the neurodiversity community and education into the mainstream.    

Peggy Horan launched her career as a masseuse at a time when a massage was associated with prostitution rather than contributing to one’s health and well-being. She is highly regarded as a pioneer in the profession which has exploded from those very early days into a multi-billion dollar industry. Peggy began her career at the highly regarded Esalen Institute and has continued her work there for over 50 years, refining her techniques and practice of presence-based awareness methods into a genuine healing discipline.Peggy views massage as a gateway into the emotional body rather than just a way to feel better physically. In this episode, we discuss:Initiating a sessionHealing from the insideThe importance of reflectionTuning into a clients’ needs and reactionsThe importance of establishing boundaries in a “giving” professionThe transference of energyMeasuring successAs part of her desire to bring massage to the mainstream of everyday life,  Peggy has written “Connecting Through Touch: The Couple’s Massage Book”. Disguised as a how-to book, Peggy has crafted a compendium of the principles, environmental factors, and mindset that enables loving touch and intimate communication between partners.  Please join me in conversation with one of the living masters of the art of massage.  

We all want to want to feel safe, comfortable, and free of stress. That’s universal. However, without venturing out of our so-called “comfort zone”, we grow stagnant and soft, and unable to handle setbacks and adversity.  What’s more, as we know from personal experience, we need a certain amount of manageable stress to grow and learn and prosper. In this episode, a talk I originally gave to the Healing Circle early in 2021, I discuss moving beyond our comfort zone using a model first developed by a Russian child development psychologist almost one hundred years ago.  With that model as the basis, I discuss: How we, as adults, can apply it when learning new skills and become aware of when we are indulging in comfort to the extremeHow we instinctively seek our comfort zone in the way we dress, eat, and entertain ourselvesWhy seeking help from others, whether it’s with a teacher, a therapist, or a Healing Circle is often essential for moving into the learning zoneHow the right amount of manageable stress and fear always accompanies the acquisition of new skills I give examples from my own life, and how my spiritual teacher knew instinctively when his students were making a nest out of his teachings to reinforce their ego,  and that it was time to shake things up.  

This episode is about one young woman’s coming of age while battling a chronic illness  (Lyme and tick-borne infections in this case) and her journey of self-discovery.  Allie Cashel is a Lyme disease warrior, advocate, and author.  I also was diagnosed and treated for Lyme in my own healing journey and encountered many of the same obstacles that Allie describes,  so I was very interested in having her as a guest on the show. With chronic Lyme, one needs to be a warrior because there are so many unnecessary obstacles put into one’s path. Did you know that doctors can lose their license to practice medicine if they have the audacity to treat Lyme with alternative methods, including prescribing antibiotics for more than 30 days?  My own Lyme specialist had to put non-Lyme diagnosis codes on my scripts so he could prescribe antibiotics for months at a time. That’s because for many illnesses an extended antibiotic regimen is not questioned, yet for Lyme, it is. Allie speaks of her shame, being unable to share her symptoms and illness with even her close friends lest they think less of her. This is often the case with so-called "invisible" illnesses.  In Allie’s case, a major debilitating flare-up in the 12th grade resulted in a highly rated infectious disease doctor accusing Allie of not being sick,  but having a mental regression to an earlier age to get her mother’s attention. This same highly acclaimed doctor accused Allie’s mom of being a horrible parent for trying to cure Allie of a "phantom illness". Allie eventually used these obstacles to write a ground-breaking book and start a non-profit dedicated to Lyme advocacy and resources.  Her journey is right in the Unconditional Healing wheelhouse, of using adversity and illness as a source of self-discovery and honing of character.

Erika Berland is a senior teacher and meditation instructor in the Shambhala Buddhist lineage and is an expert in applying somatic education and practices to the art of meditation. Somatics, in case you’re not familiar with that term, is the field of study which explores our internal perception and experience of the body rather than the external objective sense of it, that say, a doctor might assume.Erika’s new book “Sitting, the Physical Art of Meditation” explores this topic in great depth with chapters devoted to different parts of the body. Our wide-ranging conversation includes guidelines for both old and new practitioners including:The four postures of meditation How to use the natural forces of gravity and anti-gravity in the body to create ease and restore vitalityHow to use visualization and imagery to support one’s practiceAdopting a mindset of curiosity and discovery versus one of judgment and analysis Identifying those areas of the body where we tend to hold and store tensionThe practice of aimless wandering through the body, letting sensation and “feeling what we feel” guide usPlease join us as we explore the subtleties and intricacies of the body as a support for the ancient practice of meditation.

Discipline is often misunderstood, or rather, it’s only partially understood. It is normally associated with orderliness, efficiency, organization, and completion of a specific task. While of course it can be all of those things, very often we lose the sense of the journey aspect, and solely focus on the end-goal, on what we’re trying to achieve. This unfortunately leads to short-term thinking, and often times the end-goal is short-lived, whether we’re talking about loss of weight or achieving fitness or calming our mind. The problem comes in when we engage mindlessly, like running on a treadmill while reading a book, or trying to achieve the perfect yoga pose without enough attention to how we feel. In genuine discipline, we employ mindfulness and a sense of joy and freedom to the particular activity in which we are engaged. We focus more on the journey, the feeling, and less on obtaining a specific result. Of course, the result we are striving for is an important aspect of motivation, but if it becomes our sole raison d’etre, we sell ourselves short. In this episode, based on a talk I gave at a Healing Circle meeting, I discuss how to use discipline as a journey inward, and not just focused on achieving external objective goals alone. This is very much the way of meditation, of mindfulness practice, where the goal is to slow down, to be still, with a vivid sense of curiosity and self-discovery. But this approach can be also be applied to any disciplined activity that we take on as a regular practice, be it dieting, training for a marathon, or a Pilates regimen. However, we have to be willing to let go of expectations about what we might discover. We might encounter discursiveness, or fickleness, or boredom because we’re so addicted to entertainment, and discipline is “anti-entertainment”. I also discuss the importance of not being too gung-ho at the beginning of a new disciplined activity. This can lead to an all-or-nothing approach whereby missing a day or two becomes an opportunity to berate ourselves, rather than as part and parcel of the discipline journey itself. Genuine discipline is a journey with a longer-term vision at its core. When entered into with an attitude of curiosity and exploration, we just might find that personal growth and inward transformation enhance and deepen our original goal many times over. And after you listen, check out our next Healing Circle here. It’s free and you’ll find like-minded folks with whom to practice meditation, listen to teachings, and share the journey together toward unconditional health and well-being. Also, you can join our Unconditional Healing Facebook group here.

With this podcast, I’m excited to introduce a new theme, namely, conversations with experts in disciplines and issues that are in a simpatico relationship with Unconditional Healing issues and themes. I can think of no better way to start than by bringing on the leading spokesperson and thought leader for aging-related issues in the United States and many other countries in the world, my good friend, Dr. Ken Dychtwald. Over the past 40+ years, Ken has emerged as the foremost visionary and original thinker regarding the lifestyle, marketing, health care, economic, and workforce implications of the age wave. He is a psychologist, gerontologist, and best-selling author of 17 books on aging-related issues, including his most recent one, What Retirees Want: A Holistic View of Life’s Third Age, (an Amazon #1 bestseller in both the retirement and business marketing categories). Ken was the executive producer and host of the highly acclaimed PBS documentary, The Boomer Century: 1946–2046 which aired over 2,000 times on PBS stations nationwide, and his new Public Television special is titled Life’s Third Age, which is soon to air nationally. In 1986, Ken created Age Wave, a firm created to guide companies and government groups in product and service development for boomers and mature adults. His client list has included over half the Fortune 500, and Ken has consulted with every U.S. President since Jimmy Carter, (excepting our last president with whom Ken makes clear he had no involvement whatsoever). I could go on and on with superlatives for Ken, but you can check him out for yourself here. In this episode, we discuss Ken’s engagement with the Human Potential Movement in the 1970s at the famous Esalen Institute in Big Sur, California, and then discuss his involvement with the holistic health movement, a term he and his colleagues coined. We also discuss his transition to working with older adults on the Sage project, which eventually led to Ken’s prescient warnings about the coming age-wave of the Boomer generation that would affect almost every institution within our society.We also delve into Ken’s work trying to eradicate Alzheimer's, the 21st century’s scourge of the aging population, and there is some positive news on that front.

Disappointment might seem, on the surface, to be a strange topic for a podcast about healing. But at the beginning of every great difficulty, we face a profound disappointment. We are not getting what we wanted, or we are getting what we don’t want. Either way, we are disappointed. But how we respond to that disappointment holds the key to what happens next. The typical reaction is to move on quickly, sometimes pretending or denying we’re even disappointed. Or we just “solve” it by reciting affirmations that we don’t really believe like, “It’s so good this happened” or “This is all for the best”. Others around us often offer similar platitudes, not knowing what to say in order to help us. While those affirmations might be true in the long run, we actually have to go through the painful situation of being disappointed to reap the benefits. In this episode we’ll investigate disappointment from the inside out, seeing both its painful aspects and its beneficial ones. We’ll explore: · How disappointment cuts through our need for constant validation· How a hopeful attitude differs from its more future-oriented cousin, ‘hope’ · What the sports world can teach us about being totally present· Why a “couldn’t care less” attitude can become our saving graceIn the end, disappointment reveals much about our general attitudes, and how we operate in the world. It has much to teach us about being authentic, being kinder to ourselves and others, and how to become, as Chogyam Trungpa once said, a “grain of sand” able to make a proper cup of tea.

Lauren Marcus, a gifted and immensely talented stage actress and singer, was three days from starting a Sondheim show when she noticed the bald spot. It was only a bit later that she lost all her hair and was eventually diagnosed with the auto-immune disease, alopecia, an illness affecting almost 150 million people worldwide.Lauren bravely, and with raw vulnerability, recounts the pain of losing one’s identity, the crux of the matter whenever we receive a shocking, unexpected loss. We dive into the psychological issues that arise at such a time:· Dealing with intense emotions like anger, and the need to give ourselves permission to feel whatever arises without guilt or judgment· Living in uncertainty, what Zen practitioners call “not knowing”, and what Lauren calls “living in the gray”· A phenomenon known as “cancer-shaming", when one appears bald in public without having that particular diseaseBut we also discuss the “blessing” aspect of facing immense difficulty:· The shining through of one’s true character and resilience in the face of adversity· The natural growth of compassion in one’s heart, and the increased ability to empathize with others · Finding new ways to express creativity and the ability to go forward There’s also magic in this episode. Lauren awoke one day from a dream, with “the hook” of a song playing in her head. With the dream seemingly coming from her future self and the realm of unconditional health, Lauren eventually fleshed out the entire song and recorded it with her band. Calling it “Funeral”, she dedicated it to anyone going through an immense change in their life. (It’s so good). We’ll go out of the episode on the song, so be sure to stick around to the end. And then check out the music video of “Funeral”, which can be seen here. Find Lauren at laurenmarcus.com and @laurmarcus on Instagram.

Hope and fear play a huge role in our lives. In fact, they are prime motivators and affect almost everything we do. However, both hope and fear are future-oriented and when we obsess about either one, we lose sight of the present moment. In addition, we often forget that hope and fear are not separate, that one invariably accompanies the other. We hope for a particular result, and we fear that it won’t happen. Or we fear a particular result and hope that it doesn’t transpire. Thousands of years ago, an Indian philosopher and Buddhist teacher, Nagarjuna, presented a teaching on the “Eight Worldly Concerns”, a set of four dyads of hope and fear that still hold meaning for us today. In this episode, a public talk I gave in Los Angeles in March of 2020, I use his teachings to point out both the benefits and pitfalls of relying on hope and fear for our actions, and also offer several ways to overcome our incessant reliance on them in living our lives. In truth, hope and fear are simply mental fabrications. When we forget that, when we are incessantly focused on what might happen, we are not fully present and unable to live in the light of truth.

This episode is a deep dive into one woman’s reinvention of herself along the Unconditional Healing path. Nikol Rogers was an aspiring actor/dancer from a very young age and hit success in New York City right out of the gate. But along the way, in the span of only one year, her entire world fell completely apart - her marriage, her career, and even her sense of who she was. I met Niki at a Healing Circle at this lowest point in her life, and we both share a laugh as she almost left that first meeting before it began - save for the intuition and healing energy of a little Pomeranian. Niki realized at that very first meeting that opening up to her pain and loss was actually her strength, and the first step toward discovering the hidden jewel of unconditional health and presence....that suffering and heartache are part and parcel of the human condition and all attempts to deny or repress our feelings are futile and self-sabotaging. At about the same time in her life, Nikol had discovered a Zen Buddhist community that welcomed her with open arms and provided teachings and a meditation practice for connecting with her broken heart. She eloquently describes how learning to ask for help played a key role in discovering the truth of interdependence. That all of us are dependent on others and they on us, and that seeking help is a sign of wisdom and our shared humanity. Please join us in this wonderful story of Niki’s discovery of inherent confidence and fearlessness, and her journey toward overcoming limiting beliefs and eventually helping others do the same through her very successful ZenRed Empowerment Coaching Practice.

This episode is a talk entitled “What a Pandemic Can Teach Us”, which I gave to a virtual Healing Circle in March 2020 (at the very onset of the pandemic). Unfortunately, it is still quite relevant and timely as the virus rages and worsens globally in December 2020. While being frightening and horrific, a pandemic also provides an opportunity to take a look at ourselves, how we live, and what we’re avoiding or ignoring in our lives.On the societal level, the virus, being wild, untamed, and unrelenting, is acting as a messenger from the natural world, alerting us to our foibles of attempting to domesticate and dominate that world. These messages grow ever more strident each year. On the personal level, I discuss: · How intense adversity brings a focus and urgency to the forefront· The truth of interdependence· What a pandemic can instruct us about the workings of karma· How to work with and manage intense or difficult emotions To that last point, toward the end of the episode, I describe a four-step practice that can help to manage emotions that threaten to overwhelm us. It is called the 4 S’s practice, which can be done in a few minutes. Since parts of this practice involve arm and hand gestures, I have made a video of the practice that you can view on my Unconditionalhealing.org site. You will see a link for the 4 S’s practice at the top of every page.

This episode is my first time hosting a guest on this podcast. It’s my intention to engage with people who have undergone hardship and adversity in their life, and used it to discover a renewed sense of purpose and intention dedicated to inspiring and helping others. The first guest that came to mind was my good friend and colleague, Mr. Dan Cayer, who was a participant at my initial Unconditional Healing retreat 14 years ago. As a young man in his 20’s, Dan sustained a crippling ailment that destroyed his ability to use his hands and arms for everyday tasks. At his lowest point, Dan was unable to turn the pages of a book, or drink a glass of water without assistance. His story is one of perseverance and strength, of using hardship and pain to reboot his life in a completely new direction. Dan has used his own experience of healing in both mind and body to help others who are struggling to heal in their own life. He is now an accomplished writer, (although still unable to type), speaker, meditation instructor and has become certified as an Alexander Technique instructor, a novel method for working with pain and discomfort in the body.In our conversation we discuss: · The spiritual aspects of facing loss and adversity· Working with fear and uncertainty in an unconditional way· The myth of perpetual happiness· The need for forthright communication in relationships, especially when stereotypical gender roles are reversed · The wisdom of relaxation and acceptance when things don’t go as planned.And more………

As human beings, our mindset of ”maximize pleasure and avoid pain” is deeply ingrained into our psyche and consistently reinforced by our culture. But this attitude, mainly based on fear, limits our experience of life as we try to deny, avoid, and even ignore those parts of ourselves that are hurting or wounded. In this episode, I differentiate pain from suffering, since they are often used interchangeably, and discuss the futility of pursuing a life of permanent happiness and fulfillment. Topics include:· A new broader definition of pain that includes everyday experience· What the Four Noble Truths of Buddhism can teach us· Two formulas that suggest how to be with pain while reducing our suffering· A three-step approach for “taking on pain as path” whenever it arises

Meditation practice is a core principle and activity of the Unconditional Healing path and lifestyle. While the reasons that we meditate are varied and personal, there is one important reason for practicing meditation with which many are not familiar. We’ll explore that reason in this episode, which I think you’ll find very interesting. I gave this talk to the virtual Healing Circle in June of 2020. Some of the topics covered include: · Meditation as the antidote to the habitual conditioning that keeps us “asleep”· The artificial separation of “me” from my own experience· The real origin of happiness· Working with thoughts skillfully, neither leading nor following· Befriending ourselves, just as we might do with others

We live in uber-stressful times where emotional distress is an almost everyday occurrence. We very much need simple practical ways to work with our emotions, and in this talk I gave at a virtual Healing Circle in August of 2020, that’s exactly what I tried to provide. The topics I covered include: · Using embodiment meditation as an antidote to “living in our head”· Tuning into the emotions directly as a “felt sense”· Emotions as vehicles for transcending logic and “figuring things out”· “Feeling what we feel” without judgment or analysis· Relaxation not grasping, observation not thinking· Journaling and walking as “meditation in everyday life” practices

Building a Resilient MindsetConfronting adversity with resiliency and a positive attitude is the topic for this episode. This was a talk I gave to the virtual Healing Circle in June of 2020. The topics that I covered included:· How “framing our experience” is critical to resiliency· The real meaning of “positive thinking”· Overcoming isolation and stigma· Using a checklist and scheduler to stay focused and in the NOW· The power of self-reflection

We have been led to believe by our culture that "good health" is equivalent to the absence of disease or any difficulties in our life. And yet that very conditional definition is exactly the cause of so much needless suffering, since achieving it is impossible and goes completely against the way things really are. It's very limited and completely ignores mental, emotional, and spiritual health as part of the equation. We'll explore the principles of unconditional health and the notion that struggling to obtain health as if it was something to be acquired outside of ourselves is the wrong end of the stick. I’ll recommend six ways we can connect to genuine health in our everyday life.

Episode 1 is an introduction to Unconditional Healing, an expansive model of health that includes mental, emotional, and spiritual health, as well as our physical situation. We'll discuss what it is, how it came to be, what to expect on future podcasts, and where you can learn more. Jeff will trace his own healing journey and how he came to develop the Unconditional Healing program and teachings altogether.