Podcasts about depression busters

Tending our dreams requires a certain amount of energy and endurance. And for some of us, good physical health is the dream. But whether getting stronger, fitter, and more energetic is the desire, or whether you need those qualities to reinforce your ability to tend another dream, I’ve found some quick tips that have improved my productivity, my relationships, and my health.   This process works great for anyone like me, who has a hurried and sometimes harried life. It’s especially effective for increasing efficiency when you need to get more done in a shorter amount of time. It’s also great for improving your marriage, but if having a happier romantic relationship is your dream, we’ll cover those specifics in other episodes. For now, let’s talk about how to tend your health dreams with my One Minute Intervals™ method.   Right now, I’m promoting my two latest book releases, writing a new proposal, and getting ready to leave for a big ghostwriting project in another state. I’ll be gone for almost two weeks, and even when I get back, will face long, intensively focused work days. On top of that, I’ve got a messed up thyroid.   Hashimoto’s stagnates your metabolism, disrupts your energy, and weakens your endurance. But after reading several books and the latest online research, I’ve developed a natural protocol that is working beautifully to restore and maintain my thyroid health. We’ll talk details on next week’s episode. But for this one, we’re going to concentrate on one particular aspect of my protocol—One Minute Intervals™.   Writing, speaking, coaching, and podcasting are the dreams I tend that allow me to fulfill my abundant purpose of educating, inspiring, and encouraging today’s influencers. But unless I tend to my health, I cannot tend those dreams. The same is true for you. I hope this simple and easy-to-implement process helps you tend your dreams, too.    My Health History  Hashimoto’s makes exercise hard, especially long periods of aerobic activity. This is difficult for someone like me to handle, since I’ve been athletic most of my life. As a young girl, I lived in the country, where my siblings and me ran the hills and hollers of Missouri, dodging trees, rocks, and vines.  We raced, played hide-and-seek, and tag on a daily basis. Because we live in tornado alley, we even developed our own game where we played “tornado”, twisting and twirling until we fell to the ground, rolling in laughter. My feet were bare-feet tough, allowing me to walk on gravel and rocks without shoes, and my calves and thighs were muscled and lithe.  In high school, I played every sport available to me: volleyball, basketball, softball, cross-country, and track. I practiced by running three miles daily, regardless of rain, snow, sleet, or a beating sun. I didn’t have to worry about what I ate, because I burned calories like butter in a hot skillet. And I had the energy for all of it.  But as an adult, I began to feel a shift in my body, which meant I soon struggled to do half of what I had easily been able to tackle before. Today, I’m not able to do a quarter of it. When things reached their worst, if I had allowed myself to dwell negatively on my condition, I’d have given up, and relegated myself to a life of inactivity and overwhelming sadness. But I’m a dreamtender, not a quitter. So, I searched until I found a solution that worked for me. That’s where I figured out the One Minute Intervals™ method—the system that with my thyroid protocol, came to my health rescue.  One Minute Intervals™ for Health  This is the process—it’s crazy in its simplicity. After reading several medical studies that said the accumulation of aerobic activity was as effective as doing it in one continuous routine, I began to think about my exercise options in a new way. After all, some call me Anita Fresh Faith, for my tagline, “It’s never too late for a fresh start with fresh faith.” Why couldn’t I exercise for shorter periods throughout the day, allowing my body to recuperate in between, and preventing thyroid burnout? I decided sixty seconds at a time was a great place to start. However, it wasn’t quite that easy. When I first began, I walked in place while I brushed my teeth (carefully, of course). But thirty seconds in, I was out of breath. So I gave myself thirty seconds to rest, then did thirty seconds more. Every time I used the restroom, after washing my hands, I did another interval: thirty seconds of walking in place or knee raises, thirty seconds of rest, and thirty more seconds of walking. After a couple of days, I added air boxing in the shower for thirty seconds, resting thirty, and then air boxing for thirty seconds more. This allowed me to work on toning my arms.  Within three weeks, my endurance improved, and I was able to walk and air box for sixty seconds straight without stopping, although my muscles burned by the end. I was also adding more intervals into my day. But I admit, it did surprise me at how much my heart raised in such a short amount of time.  I started dancing for One Minute Intervals™ around the fourth week, and could feel the effects in my core. By this time, I was doing 30-45 intervals on most days, but on others, was motivated to get out and walk for longer consecutive periods. Every week, I felt stronger, had more energy, and my endurance increased.  Today, I can walk while air boxing for 30-45 minutes without stopping. I still switch up between focusing my exercise on legs, arms, and my core, but I keep adding new routines for variety and to work different muscle groups. And during periods like the one coming up, where I’ll be sequestered in a room with someone whose book I’m writing, for very long, intense days, I’ll use One Minute Intervals™ to ensure I stay strong and energized. Not only will working out sixty seconds at a time help me complete the projects I need to finish now, but they will ensure I am healthy enough to tackle the other opportunities that come my way. After all, I get to do this, because I am tending my dreams.  Filling Needs:  What health focus do you need to concentrate on? Are your energy, strength, and endurance optimal for tending your dreams? Where can you squeeze a few One Minute Intervals™ into your days?  When was the last time you saw a doctor to evaluate your health? Are there issues you need to address or problems you need to prevent, that will help protect your dreams for the long-term?   This episode’s Dream Tending Tips: Brainstorm a list of every physical activity you could do for 30-60 second intervals. This will save you time and frustration when a moment of opportunity strikes.  Set a goal for the number of One Minute Intervals™ you will do each day—then make it your mission to achieve it. My minimum is 30. It’s surprising how easy it is to do 30-45 intervals in a single day. Take a weekly Sabbath, where you allow your body to completely rest and recover for one day.  When you start, take a picture of yourself the first day and save it in a special file. Then each week on the same day, take a new photo. Don’t expect to see a marked difference for the first 4-6 weeks, but if you persist, you will soon feel and see results.  Focus on different parts of your body on different days. I do legs one day, arms another, and sometimes my core as a third.  Keep a diary of how you feel. You can write a page, or simply a single line. But the point is to give yourself a measuring system, and an encouragement to review and reflect on.  Resolve to do One Minute Intervals™ six days a week for a minimum of 90 days, in order to give yourself every opportunity to succeed. I also have some special eBook pricing for you. Type in the code TYDeb50 to get your copy of 4x4 Habit Overhaul, or One Minute Intervals™: Sixty Seconds to a Healthier, Foodier You, or Depression Busters, at over half off the normal price. Purchase a book bundle using the same code, and save even more.   But ACT NOW, before this special eBook discount offer is gone.   You can also get autographed copies of any of my books from my website.   Until next time, remember, your dreams are waiting for you to grab and tend:   Take courage.  Excel daily.  Never stop believing.  Dare to dream bigger.  Host Anita Agers-Brooks can be found on various social media platforms, and you can discover additional dream tending tips at tendyourdreams.com.

I decided to do something different on my morning walk today. I can’t exactly explain what spurred the thought, but I chose to pay close attention to the flowers. Maybe it’s because I’ve been working extra hard to catch up after losing so much time to a shoulder, neck, and arm injury on my right side that cost me almost three months of real productivity. I’m also getting ready to fly out for 10 days of intensive ghostwriting for a person I cannot name, so there are a lot of loose ends to tie before I leave. Or, it might be due to the especially long winter we had that made me ache for this time of year.   But whatever the reason, our Missouri wildflowers are especially appealing to me this year. So on my walk, I made it my mission to stop and admire every variety I saw, and then to take a picture. However, I did not anticipate how this action would remind me of some important facts related to tending dreams.   I first spotted a wild rose bush. Though they aren’t as large, full, and aromatic as domesticated roses, they are still gorgeous. I noticed that most have five fragile, flat, pink petals. This rose is not one you would see in a show-case, but when you don’t overlook it, as most of us often do, you see its beauty hidden in plain sight. I think some of our talents are much the same. We and others overlook them, often undervaluing what we have to offer.  Next, I stopped to take a photo of a white yucca in bloom. Unlike most blossoms, it’s flowers point upside down along the stem. You have to lift a blossom up to see all of the beauty inside. Many of us fight the parts of ourselves that make us feel especially different from other people. But when we see our differences as ways to stand out, we often find real value beneath. Instead of fighting areas that feel upside down from the norm, we would benefit by putting in effort to lift those differences to the forefront.  I saw two species of white and yellow daisies while I walked as well. Some were larger with wide petals and dime-sized gold cores. Others were petite, with white petals so close they looked like fringe dotted with small, pale yellow buttons. No two blooms were exactly alike—though they were of the same family, fulfilling the same purpose. I’ve noted something similar about dreamtenders. Two people can tend identical dreams, but their results will not be exactly the same. Personality, gender, history and experience, as well as current opportunities, will influence outcomes. But this diversity only enhances the results for each. Dreamtenders don’t need to battle against each other, instead, we need to remember that our value increases when we work cooperatively.   As I finished my walk, I saw violet bluebells, white Queen’s Lace, black-eyed susans, fuchsia clover blooms, purple echinacea, and some red, yellow, and purple varieties I didn’t recognize. But since I was moving in to look closely with an eye for appreciation, I noticed that every flower I’ve mentioned had two things in common. They each had at least one flaw and they all had a unique value. This brings me to you and me.   Every year, I choose a One Word focus. (Or I should say, my One Word chooses me.) Toward the end of the year prior, a particular word will keep cropping up, and after enough times, I know that’s my next year’s emphasis. This year, my word is value.   This is also the time of year, around the mid-way point, where I review to make sure I’m still giving my One Word the attention it deserves. Maybe that’s why the flaws and values of each flower stood out to me—or maybe it was because you needed to hear this message.   Either way, my walk made me reflect on how we think about ourselves, and in response, how we treat ourselves. I don’t know about you, but too many times, I’ve looked in the mirror and seen nothing but my imperfections.   In the past, I’ve only concentrated on my flaws, and therefore, overlooked my own value. I’ve also missed the inner gifts, talents, and abilities that may not be evident on the surface, but like the wild rose, with just a little attention, became something that added value to the world.   I’ve seen my differences as negatives, when instead, they gave me character in a way that brought others happiness. For instance, I have a naturally crooked smile, but like the upside down Yucca, my cockeyed smile represents something valuable—my commitment to be a joy-splasher.   I used to worry about competition, but now I see that people who are tending the same kinds of dreams as me are kindred spirits. Together, we make a beautiful bouquet. We are similar, yet each of us has distinct inflections that add special value.   I actually have lots of flaws and imperfections, like all of the flower varieties I saw as I walked. But, many of my flaws aren’t as obvious as they are to others, and even if they are, not everyone will have appreciation for what I have to offer—and that’s okay. The fact is, my defects don’t discount me as a dreamtender. Instead, they help make me the remarkable, distinctive, and extraordinary person especially able to fulfill my abundant purpose on this earth. The same is true for you.   Don’t focus on what you see as shortcomings. Instead, see your differences as valuable. You have things to offer that no one else does in exactly the way you can. You were made for an exceedingly abundant life.   But you will only experience it if you do what only you can do. We need your gifts, talents, and abilities. If you need to tend them before they’re ready for the world to see, that’s okay. It’s actually important for you to take the time necessary to tend your dreams fully—so you can give us all the value you were made for. Without your color, our planet will lack luster, and who wants to live in a dull world.     Filling Needs:  When you look in the mirror do you see only imperfection, or do you see any value reflected there? How does nature inspire you in your dreamtending efforts? Where would we be if life-changing dreamtenders like Mozart, Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Edison, Florence Nightingale, Mother Teresa, Celine Dion, Henry Ford, or others had focused on their weaknesses more than their strengths?  If you were a flower, what variety do you think you’d be?   This episode’s Dream Tending Tips: Make a list of your talents, abilities, and gifts. Dare to review it often, to offset any obsession with perceived defects.  What value might your dreams provide if you achieved them?  Look at your flaws, imperfections, or defects differently than you have before—how might they add uniqueness and character to your dreamtending efforts? Have you ever considered that your perceived weaknesses might be opportunities in disguise? If we’re too perfect, other people can’t relate to us. Your imperfections can actually make you more relevant.  Do you need to catch up or tie up some loose ends to free you up to concentrate on your dreams more fully? If so, take it one step and keep at it. You will get there.  How long has it been since you stopped and admired nature, noticing the details and inflections that offer creative ideas, inspirations, and motivations to help you tend your dreams? What One Word focus or resolutions have you made for this year? Are you staying true to them? I also have some special eBook pricing for you. Type in the code TYDeb50 to get your copy of 4x4 Habit Overhaul, or One Minute Intervals™: Sixty Seconds to a Healthier, Foodier You, or Depression Busters, at over half off the normal price. Purchase a book bundle using the same code, and save even more.   But ACT NOW, before this special eBook discount offer is gone.   You can also get autographed copies of any of my books from my website.     Until next time, remember, your dreams are waiting for you to grab and tend:   Take courage.  Excel daily.  Never stop believing.  Dare to dream bigger.  Host Anita Agers-Brooks can be found on various social media platforms, and you can discover additional dream tending tips at tendyourdreams.com.

You were made to make a meaningful difference. Maybe you do it by making people laugh, and helping them escape their problems for a bit. Or perhaps your gift of artistry touches people’s souls through song or paints. Or maybe you simply provide a listening ear, an open heart, a compassionate spirit, or an accepting smile to people. I know some people who make their difference in the privacy of their homes, where only they and God are aware, as they lift people up in prayer, and move spiritual mountains on behalf of the hurting and helpless.   It doesn’t matter what you are gifted and drawn to do, what matters is that you actually do it. Otherwise, not only do you miss out, but so does the world. Let me tell you a brief story from my own life, that proved to me once again, that honing my raw talents into something truly usable helped me make a meaningful difference. But as I share, don’t just think about me.   Think about you. What are you made to do? Who are you meant to help? What might you be missing out on if you don’t gather your courage and act on that dream whispering into your soul?  Just a couple of days ago, I attended a book study group meeting. The group leader, Angela, had invited me to come talk with their growing number of members to discuss how my book, Exceedingly: Spiritual Strategies for Living on Purpose, with Purpose, and for an Abundant Purpose was impacting the them. I arrived a few hours early, so Angela and I could spend some time together first. We had a great time, talking about many aspects of life. Then the group members began to arrive, along with some surprises.   I was first shocked at the mix of men and women. For some reason, I did not expect that many men would even read Exceedingly, much less be so actively involved in a discussion of the book. I assumed the group consisted almost exclusively of women—boy was I wrong.   Secondly, once we ate our meal (which was amazing), and started talking, I was struck by the level of emotion among most of those in attendance. Women teared up, but actually, even more of the men did. And the stories that unfolded that night! Some of them brought me to tears. Multiple times as I stood in front of the group, I thought about the privilege of touching lives in this way. I was living my own book out—this was exceedingly, abundantly more than I could have ever imagined or thought!  When the evening ended, each person lined up and waited patiently for their turn to talk with me. I was again deeply touched, as some spoke in almost a whisper, entrusting their dreams to me, or to tell me how Exceedingly was stirring a renewed desire to discover and live out their purpose. Some even had new stories of recent events that had taken place, because the book had given them the courage to take action in meaningful ways, instead of letting fear hold them back.   The entire evening was an author’s dream. To meet people face-to-face whose souls are ignited with passion, and who are fired up to go out and make a difference in the world, because of the influence of words you penned through emotional sweat, tears, and blood? Now that’s an amazing moment.   I’ve also received emails from complete strangers, or read their reviews on Amazon, Goodreads, and other online sites, saying things like this line about my book, Getting Through What You Can’t Get Over, “Your book saved my life, I was going to commit suicide, and what you wrote helped me not give up.”   Or the person who wrote about Exceedingly, “After reading it, I purchased five more copies to study with friends. I read it quickly the first time, over half in the first day, but now I want to go back and absorb it, while discussing the questions at the end of each chapter with my friends.”  Or the lady at the book study group the other night who said, “It really struck me when I was reading Exceedingly, that I need to quit wasting my life. In chapter 4, you asked two questions: ‘How will I feel if your entire life passes and I reach the end wondering, What if?’ And, ‘What’s the worst thing that happens if I try and fail?’ Now I’m committed to fulfilling my purpose before it’s too late.” (Now you see why I was brought to tears more than once at that meeting.)  But why do I tell you this?   Because I want you to know how close I came to never having made the meaningful difference these people are saying I’m making through my books. I came VERY close to letting fear have its way, so that I never took those early steps to pursuing my dream of being a published author. Even though I had dreamed about seeing my name on a book from the time I was a little girl, when it came to actually doing something, the thought caused the blood to rush to my head, and anxiety seemed to grip my heart with its ice-cold claws. Thankfully, I prayed and persisted through. Otherwise, I would not have the honor of impacting other people today. I get to influence people to live out their dreams, like I hope I’m doing for you today.   I want you to experience the amazing feeling of seeing your dreams come true. I want you to know the thrill of making your meaningful difference. I urge you—do not let fear have its way in your life. Do something. Anything. Within the next 24 hours. Toward the pursuit of your dream. I promise it’s true—you WERE made for more. You WERE made to make a meaningful difference.    Filling Needs:  When was the last time you did something proactive toward pursuing your dream? What could you start today that will get you closer to turning your dream into reality? Why do you think you are holding yourself back?  What is one single step you can take to get you started at making your dream come true?   This episode’s Dream Tending Tips: Allow yourself to imagine what it would feel like to accomplish your dream. Where would you go? Who would you see? How would others react in positive ways?  When negative images try to play on your mind—shut them down! This is fear’s greatest weapon in trying to hold you back.  Ask the people around you how you are, or can, make a meaningful difference?  Why do you think we are wired to make a meaningful difference? Why does it matter to you? When do you feel the most alive? Is it making people laugh? Listening? Seeing people’s reactions when you use your talents, giftings, and abilities?  If you work for someone else, where can you make a meaningful difference there? Sometimes our talents and dreams are best used right where we already are.  Give yourself permission to live the life of meaning you were made for. Don’t hold back. You can’t go wrong by making it your mission to make a difference.  I also have some special eBook pricing for you. Type in the code TYDeb50 to get your copy of 4x4 Habit Overhaul, or One Minute Intervals™: Sixty Seconds to a Healthier, Foodier You, or Depression Busters, at over half off the normal price. Purchase a book bundle using the same code, and save even more.   But ACT NOW, before this special eBook discount offer is gone.   You can also get autographed copies of any of my books from my website.   Until next time, remember, your dreams are waiting for you to grab and tend:   Take courage.  Excel daily.  Never stop believing.  Dare to dream bigger.  Host Anita Agers-Brooks can be found on various social media platforms, and you can discover additional dream tending tips at tendyourdreams.com.

We’ve all heard it hundreds of times. To date, it ranks as one of my most requested speaking topics—for professional and inspirational groups. Women and men are hungry for more of the same thing.  What’s the most important requirement and biggest missing element for those wanting to tend a great marriage?  When speaking to both the leadership and the front line people, I’m told organizations who want to tend success are weakest at, and need to focus on, this area.  Parents speaking about their children and children speaking about their parents bring up the same thing.  Professionals at the top and professionals climbing the ladder mention similar pet peeves.  And all are speaking about the exact same issue: a need to improve communication. Want to solve the world’s problems? In a nutshell, this covers most of it. Clear and effective communication is truly the answer to many of our conflicts, issues, and confusions.  But sadly, I think we hear the word communication brought up so much, we treat it as if it were some worn out cliche. In fact, it is one of the great secrets to living a happier, healthier, and more peace-filled life—at home and and at work.   As a business, marriage, and life coach, I spend more of my time and energy on communication in some form than I do anything else. I’ve learned a tremendous amount about effective communication—about what works and what does not.   Currently, I’m doing some business coaching that involves family members in top leadership positions. And as I facilitate meetings designed to help them work through unresolved issues, buried resentments and anger, confusion, along with other emotional hot buttons, I continually remind them of the power of clear communication. Words (or lack of them) have the power to harm or to heal, to draw or repel, to bring profit or destruction, depending on how we wield them.   There are seven specific secrets that are most often overlooked, and if missed, create the greatest invisible drains, when it comes to undermining our dreams. So let’s unpack them today.    7 Secrets to Effective Communication for Dream Tenders: Do not dominate or monopolize conversations. You have two ears and one mouth for a reason. I love Proverbs 10:19. In the Message version it says, "The more talk the less truth; the wise measure their words.” Successful dream tending requires that you sharpen your listening skills. Do not interrupt. Let other people finish their thoughts and sentences! And especially don’t cut someone off to tell them what they think or believe. Stop attempting to mind read. Who are you to believe you can tell someone what they are thinking more than what they know themselves? Assuming or projecting your opinions onto other people is a dangerous disruption to any dream tending relationship, professional or personal. There may be more or less to the situation than what you presume. Interrupting and cutting people off when they are talking will not only destroy those relationships—you WILL destroy your dreams with this kind of behavior. Resolve to keep your tone calm, honest, and respectful. Right-fighting only makes you look more wrong. Stripping someone else of their dignity shows others you are a jerk. Raising your voice and throwing your weight around because you can, will not get the results you want. Making patronizing, cutting, or subliminal digs turns people off. And all of these behaviors will make people leave you and your dreams in the dust. Clarify what you thought you heard when responding. Repeat what you thought the speaker said by using statements like these: "If I understood what you meant, you said, '_______________________."  "If I heard you right, you said, '__________________________."  Keep communication professional at all times. You might believe you’ve become close with a professional tie, but don’t kid yourself into getting so comfortable you make a mistake that could cost you your dreams.  Don’t make inappropriate jokes.  Do not gossip or bad mouth others.  Don’t use profanity, even if the other person does. It’s a subconscious trigger signaling that you cannot control yourself and conduct yourself in a professional manner.  And do not call others by pet names—especially if they are older than you or hold a higher position. There’s nothing more sickening than being called hun, babe, or sweetie by a person who doesn’t have the experience, credibility, or relationship to speak to you as if you are a younger family member. Communicate!!! Answer your prospects, clients, customers, vendors, colleagues, or anyone else who is or might be affiliated with your ability to tend your dreams. Silence is far from golden if they have reached out to you and you do not respond. In fact, this kind of silence will lead you to bankruptcy or at least to the abrupt end to your dreams.  Keep your word when you say you will do something. On time—every time. Part of professional communication is being believable when you say something. It won’t take too many let-downs for people to stop giving you a chance, bringing your dreams crashing down with that broken trust.  Filling Needs:  What kind of listener are you—honestly? Do you fight to be heard or do you give others a voice? Do you communicate clear expectations early and often, to reduce unnecessary confusion and conflict? Do you talk at people or to them?  What are the three weakest areas of communication for you right now that you could focus on improving?   This episode’s Dream Tending Tips: Take a cue from Stephen Covey, in his best-selling book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Seek first to understand—then to be understood.   Be open to ideas, solutions, collaborations, feedback, and even critiques others communicate. Become intentional to put yourself in the path of at least one person who is willing to disagree with you. Unpopular counsel can be a great stretching tool. One mistake many dream tenders make is surrounding themselves with those who tell them what their itching ears want to hear. But wise counsel, even if painful to hear, leads to profit and success.  Audit your communication skills on a regular basis—both as a speaker and as a listener. Are you clear, concise, and effective? Are your ears, mind, and heart open?  When you speak, is what you’re saying relevant to the current topic, situation, or issue? Are your words appropriate for the current conversation?  Do you show authentic interest in what others have to say? Are you engaged, intentionally focusing on what they are telling you?  Work on catching any habits you might have to make assumptions, pre-determined opinions, and projections. Then change them. Develop yourself as someone who fully hears what other people have to say, and watch your dream tending efforts expand.  I also have some special eBook pricing for you. Type in the code TYDeb50 to get your copy of 4x4 Habit Overhaul, or One Minute Intervals™: Sixty Seconds to a Healthier, Foodier You, or Depression Busters, at over half off the normal price. Purchase a book bundle using the same code, and save even more.   But ACT NOW, before this special eBook discount offer is gone.   You can also get autographed copies of any of my books from my website.   Until next time, remember, your dreams are waiting for you to grab and tend:   Take courage.  Excel daily.  Never stop believing.  Dare to dream bigger.  Host Anita Agers-Brooks can be found on various social media platforms, and you can discover additional dream tending tips at tendyourdreams.com.

Through my years on planet Earth, I’ve discovered some shortcuts and tricks to helping me tend my dreams more efficiently and effectively. Whether your dream is to create a healthier body, happier marriage, bigger bank account, peaceful relationships, balanced emotions, or to pursue and achieve that secret or not-so-secret accomplishment you’ve imagined—one powerful process can get you there. This tip will change your dream life. And the rest of your world will likely benefit as well.   When I started pursuing my deepest desires, I expected to make a certain level of monetary investment. But I failed to consider the full time and energy requirements. I thought I knew.   Because I’m someone who is naturally energetic and a better than average time manager, plus, I’m a former athlete who knows the benefits of discipline, I figured time and energy would not create issues for me. I was wrong.    The more success I’ve achieved as a professional writer, speaker, life and business coach, the harder it’s become to keep up. The more successful you are, the less accessible you become. I don’t like it, but it’s very true. And since accessibility is one of my signature values—this fact particularly upsets me. But to succeed you must sacrifice, and you must also learn how to invest yourself as wisely as possible. If you manage your finances meticulously, but there’s a consistent time and energy drain, it could cost you your dreams.   I admit I was feeling a little sorry for myself when the idea came to me. I had just told my umpteenth friend “no” when asked if I wanted to get together. It’s pretty bad when you can’t schedule an hour for a cup of coffee anytime over the next month.   Guilt was eating me up inside. But because of a series of uncontrollable events, I was behind or barely keeping up everywhere. Business coaching clients needed my help with major tax and people issues. I needed to prepare for a new book launch. My literary agent was waiting for the new proposal we’d decided I would submit next. And then there was a family issue that blindsided and broke the hearts of us all. Multiple people I loved were devastated and needed a lot of extra TLC—not to mention the fact that I was trying to deal with my own shattered emotions. Life doesn’t grind to a halt and wait for you to tend your dreams.  I was sitting on my couch trying to decide if I was going to allow myself to wallow, or if I’d let overwhelm get the better of me that day. While I pondered both choices and envisioned the outcomes of each (imagining outcomes is another secret to self motivation), I knew what I had to do. Dreams don’t tend themselves. But I was struggling to overcome the sense of futility I felt due to the volume of responsibility I felt.   My agent had graciously told me to take my time on the new book proposal, and promised to pray me through. It’s a good thing, because I’m still not finished, although I am making real progress and am now very close. My book launch date came and went with little proactive attention from me, which is not normal, but I had to give myself grace. I knew I’d done my absolute best under the circumstances, and just had to trust that the efforts I make when I can how I can would help get its important message out there. But what about all of the other needs pressing on me?  That’s where the full picture of the 90/90 rule was born, though it originated much earlier in my life.    The 90/90 Rule  I was thinking back to my athletic days in high school, when I played basketball, volleyball, softball, ran track, and was in a small music group ensemble as a singer. (Back then I was even in musical plays and productions, but I don’t think you could pay me enough to do that now. Funny how we change as we age.)   It wasn’t easy making all of my interests work—but I figured out how. There were days I didn’t feel like running, practicing, or training, but I learned to set goals before I was fully aware that’s what I was doing. I typically scheduled my missions in 90 day increments, and I challenged myself to give no less than 90% for 90 days. But somewhere along life, I forgot that I used to do that.  You might more readily understand the 90 days, but do you wonder why I didn’t go with 100%? If so, let me explain.  Even as a kid, I realized that I needed the occasional break—physically, mentally, and emotionally. As an athlete, I’d been taught that my body needed allocated days to recuperate and heal, to relax and refresh. And something inside told me that if I allowed myself those breaks, I would become stronger mentally and emotionally as well.   That day on my couch not so long ago, I recalled how much I looked forward to those occasional breaks, and how they not only strengthened me, but motivated me. And I began to design a more formalized plan for myself today. This is what it looks like.   For 90 days, I am committed to giving a full throttle effort to my dreams 90% of the time. For instance, I am back on my thyroid protocol, which provides a much healthier eating and exercise lifestyle. In a week’s time, I will eat 21 meals. 90% of my week I am dedicated to very healthy choices consisting of fresh vegetables and fruits, fish, chicken, and lean meats with no sugar, alcohol, caffeine, bread, pasta, or processed carbohydrates. But 10% of my week (2 meals) I allow myself treats. This does two things. It gives me something to look forward to which prevents a sense of deprivation which would increase temptation and the likelihood of giving in.  Those two meals (my 10%) tell my body I’m not in starvation mode which actually boosts my metabolism.  I’m following a similar regimen for catching up to the productive time I lost due to those uncontrollable events. For 90 days, 90% of the time, I am focusing on being highly focused on working through commitments, projects, and deadlines. I’m happy to report it’s working beautifully. I’m making progress much faster than I thought I would, my mind is clearer than it has been in a long time, and when I do take my 10% downtime, I feel no guilt. I know I’ve earned it.   Now that I’m a few weeks into my current 90/90 rule session, I’m feeling lighter, less overwhelmed, and am even finding a little time to say “yes” here and there. It’s also making it easier to deal with the uncontrollable events in my life. It was hard to push myself at first, but I’m so glad I did, because I’m starting to feel like me again.   There’s only one part I should clarify. This happens six days a week, not seven. I’ve talked about my secret of taking a weekly Sabbath rest for refueling. On Sundays, I’m devoted to time with God, family, and rest. No matter how crazy life gets, that’s a commitment I don’t break.    Filling Needs:  Have you measured your time investment for your dream(s) recently? Where is your time and energy being drained the most? How might your life differ if you were to implement the 90/90 rule?  Imagine yourself 90 days from now after consistently applying the 90/90 rule to your dreams—what leaps will you have made?    This episode’s Dream Tending Tips: Track where your time is spent, much as you would to get a clear picture of where your money goes by writing down every penny that leaves your hand. Are you giving as much time and energy as finances to your dreams? Choose one dream, and focus the 90/90 rule on it first. Once you see how well it works in one area, I suspect you’ll use it in others as well.  Think back to your most successful moments—what propelled you to keep moving forward when you felt overwhelmed? To implement the 90/90 rule means giving up some things. What do you need to cut in order to make your dreams come true and maintain them when you do?  Where is guilt eating you up from the inside? Pinpoint those areas and implement the 90/90 rule to smother this dream tending foe.  Don’t skimp on giving yourself the 10%. If you plan to tend your dreams for the long haul, you will need those moments to look forward to, and the refreshment they will provide. Your 10% will prove a great motivator on your toughest days. Ask yourself if your dreams are worth 90 days of a minimum 90% full throttle effort. What could you accomplish in that time with that kind of focus? I also have some special eBook pricing for you. Type in the code TYDeb50 to get your copy of 4x4 Habit Overhaul, or One Minute Intervals™: Sixty Seconds to a Healthier, Foodier You, or Depression Busters, at over half off the normal price. Purchase a book bundle using the same code, and save even more.   But ACT NOW, before this special eBook discount offer is gone.   You can also get autographed copies of any of my books from my website.   Until next time, remember, your dreams are waiting for you to grab and tend:   Take courage.  Excel daily.  Never stop believing.  Dare to dream bigger.  Host Anita Agers-Brooks can be found on various social media platforms, and you can discover additional dream tending tips at tendyourdreams.com.

One of my great joys at this stage in my dream tending journey is influencing today and tomorrow’s influencers. Investing in our future, is one of the ways I give back. High school and college students will soon be in charge, and pouring into them, teaching them keys that have taken me years to gather, makes my heart happy and helps me fulfill my abundant purpose.  This week, I’ve been brought in to speak twice to students. First on career interests and job fits. Secondly, on problem-solving, team playing, self-confidence, positive attitudes, and strong work ethics. Plus, they want a little motivational/inspirational spin on my presentations, too.   After my bio was read, introducing me to the group, I stood in front of the students with red and white banners and posters with motivating quotes surrounding us. Before I began, I scanned their faces and thought back to when I was their ages.   I remember sitting in the bleachers or huddled in classroom circles, trying to appear confident in front of my friends, when inside insecurity and fears battered my mind. I frequently laughed on the outside, hiding the tears washing my soul. My greatest dream at that time might sound silly to some, but it truly was for peace and happiness. I just wanted to feel acceptable in my own skin. I guess that’s why I have such a heart for our young people and finding out what dreams burn brightest at their core.   In the group I spoke to this week, most were at least partially engaged, probably waiting to see if I was worth listening to or not. Some pretended to be checked out, but I know from experience that this can be deceiving. Often, as I present, those who appear the least enthusiastic are often absorbing as much or more than anyone else. I know this, because after I’m done, they approach cautiously with questions or confirmations that something I said made its point. This is also the group most protective of their dreams.    The Dream Collector  After years of speaking at conferences, retreats, businesses, and schools, I’ve met thousands of people. They range from the mature leader with great financial success, to the student preparing to enter the work world for the first time. But they all have something in common. They have dreams. Even if they don’t recognize them for what they are, but instead call them goals or wishes, their aspirations are dreams.   As I began to recognize this commonality between people of different genders, races, ages, and bank accounts, I began to see how precious dreams are to people. Many whisper theirs to me in confidence, saying I’m the first person they’ve told. And I understand why.  I remember what it feels like to have a dream burning inside you, but feeling unsure if it was safe to share. It was scary the first time I spoke some of my dreams out loud—daring to let another human being know what was in my mind. I held my breath, wondering if I would be ridiculed, put down, or simply ignored. Thankfully, there were a couple of people who believed in me and my dreams—but honestly, most people didn’t get them—or for sure, didn’t believe I could do it.   Based on my personal experiences, as well as reflecting on the many people who’ve said they were grateful for the security they felt in sharing their dreams with me, I decided to become the dream collector. Yes, I collect people’s dreams. But only for the sake of allowing someone to get their dreams out of their souls and possibly, into the world. I treasure people’s dreams and treat them as gingerly as if they were my own. And I encourage people to start taking a few brave steps to make their dreams come true.   This week, as I spoke to the students, I asked them to courageously write their dreams down so I could collect them. Some made me smile, some inspired me, and some choked me up. I’d like to share a few of those dreams with you today. My hope is that by hearing how brave these young people were, maybe, just maybe, it will help you put your brave on, so you take the first steps to pursuing yours.    Filling Needs:  Do you have any secret dreams? If you haven’t shared you dream with anyone, why? Are you afraid of how others might respond? If you knew your dream would be treated with as much regard as if it were their own, would you be willing to tell someone?    Would you write your dream down on a postcard and mail it anonymously to me? I promise to protect you fiercely and treasure your dream ferociously. I may write about it in my blog or talk about it on this podcast, but only in the most respectful and dignified way—as a means to encourage other dreamers.    This episode’s Dream Tending Tips: Get a notebook or journal and dedicate it solely to tending your dreams. This is your safe place, your private space, where you can let your dreams run wild and free.  Take courage and put your dream in writing, for yourself first.  Write your dream on a postcard and mail it to me at: Anita Brooks, P.O. Box 1097, Steelville, MO 65565.  Now that you’ve taken that giant step of documenting your dream and telling at least one person (me), you’re ready for another leap. At least once a week, read your dream to yourself—keeping it in the forefront of your mind.  Write the TEND acronym in the front of your notebook or journal. Take courage. Excel daily. Never stop believing. Dare to dream bigger.   Allow yourself to imagine what it might feel like if you could visit your future. See yourself one year from now, boldly and brilliantly tending your dreams. Now fast forward to three years and envision how different your life might look if you acted on your dreams. Visit year five and see what life will look then.    Get your Dream Tender Diary and write a letter to your one-year future self, describing your life and all of the reasons you are grateful. Write a second to your three-year future self, and then your five. Remember, this is your safe place. Let your imagination run free.  I also have some special eBook pricing for you. Type in the code TYDeb50 to get your copy of 4x4 Habit Overhaul, or One Minute Intervals™: Sixty Seconds to a Healthier, Foodier You, or Depression Busters, at over half off the normal price. Purchase a book bundle using the same code, and save even more.   But ACT NOW, before this special eBook discount offer is gone.   You can also get autographed copies of any of my books from my website.    Until next time, remember, your dreams are waiting for you to grab and tend:   Take courage.  Excel daily.  Never stop believing.  Dare to dream bigger.   Host Anita Agers-Brooks can be found on various social media platforms, and you can discover additional dream tending tips at tendyourdreams.com.

I want to start this episode by saying thank you. Thank you for tuning in, for telling people, for sharing on social media, and whatever else you’re doing to help get the word out about Tending Your Dreams™. The number of unique listeners has been doubling monthly since the beginning of the year—and it’s all because of you.   I appreciate all of your support as I strive to encourage, challenge, and influence other dream tenders. I want you and your friends and family to know how amazing it is when you make your dreams come true and maintain them when you do.   And now, let’s get to this week’s talking point. I want to discuss the importance of mental breaks and emotional escapes. In other words, we’re going to cover the power of play.   In chapter five of my new book, Exceedingly: Spiritual Strategies for Living on Purpose, with Purpose, and for an Abundant Purpose, I go into deeper detail. But I want to read you a few short excerpts from that chapter, because I am so passionate about this subject. I believe one of the great dangers to our dreams is the potential for burnout. Fatigue and overwhelm will cause your body, mind, and spirit to shut down—making it impossible to tend your dreams. But it doesn’t have to be that way.    On page 71 of the printed version of Exceedingly, I open Chapter 5 with this:   Spend fifteen minutes in the presence of children at play and tell me their joy isn’t contagious. The company of laughing adults is much more pleasant than somber ones. When you see a married couple giggling together, don’t you think, I want that? I wanted to address the topic of play early in this book. Why? Because if you are going to unearth your abundant purpose or even make an attempt to do so, the balance of playful moments will sustain you and give you the strength you need.  This is especially true as we tend our dreams. If we don’t infuse ourselves with some fun and laughter, joy and happiness, refreshment and relaxation, we will not have the steam we need for the long haul of dream tending. And we will have nothing to offer, because an empty cup has nothing to pour into others.  So let me pour a little light-heartedness into you. On page 75 of Exceedingly, I share a story an old farmer told me back in my banking days. Actually, he told me the same story a few times, forgetting I’d heard it before. But it’s so cute, and a bit thought-provoking, that I didn’t mind. It broke up the monotony, and sometimes the overwhelm from an overflow of customers who were requesting loans during the lower percentage rate mortgage rush of that time.  See if this tale doesn’t trigger a few chuckles and deeper thinking for you. A Dream Tender’s Stress-Relieving Tale  On the first day, God created the dog and said, “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.”  The dog said, “That’s a long time to bark. How about only ten years and I’ll give you back the other ten? Deal?”  On the second day, God created the monkey and said, “Entertain people. Do tricks and make them laugh. For this, I’ll give you a twenty-year life span.”  On the third day, God created the cow and said, “You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves, and give milk to support the farmer’s family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.”  The cow said, “That sounds like a tough life. You want me to live for sixty years? How about twenty, and I’ll give you back the other forty?”  On the fourth day, God created man and said, “Eat, sleep, play, marry, and enjoy your life. For this, I’ll give you twenty years.”  But man responded, “Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey returned, and the ten the dog refused? That makes eighty. Okay?”  So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty, we slave in the sun to support our families. During the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone. Simple Ways to Create Mental Breaks and Emotional Escapes Didn’t that tickle your funny bone, boost your energy a bit, and make you feel refreshed? That’s the power of mental breaks and emotional escapes—even short ones. The power of playful moments provides fuel and drives us toward success as we tend our dreams.  Filling Needs:  When was the last time you gave yourself permission to play? How often do you get (take) mental breaks to refuel and recharge? What restores your balance and energy, especially after a highly-focused period of dream tending?  Where can you incorporate more power from play into your dream tending schedule?   This episode’s Dream Tending Tips: Take a weekly Sabbath. Mine is Sunday, where after checking in at church, I most often turn off my phone, set aside my devices, remove my Apple Watch, and leave my computer closed, so I can focus on the things most important to me: faith, family, and friends.  Get outdoors. Multiple studies have shown that our creativity heightens and our mental acuity sharpens when we spend time outside in nature, smelling the fresh air, watching the breeze blow tree tops, listening to song birds try to outdo each other, feeling the earth beneath our feet. If it’s summer and you have a chance, even grab a taste of nature’s healing power by nibbling a ripe, red tomato, a deep, onyx blackberry, a plump, dark blueberry, or some other natural treat.  Remember that the word recreation (another word for play), originates from the terms re-create or renew. Our energy resurges and our creativity restarts when we set aside to rest and play. This is something we need often as we tend our dreams. Schedule a weekend getaway or daycation with your spouse or a good friend. There are many inexpensive options if you want to concentrate your funds on investing in your dreams. I’m blessed to work with and have relationships with resort owners and outfitters across the country, and almost all of them have certain seasons and days where their prices are lower. Call and ask a recreation location near you if they offer discounts or have reduced rates at any time.  When you’re alone in your car, let loose and sing. Personally, I do this all the time as an emotional escape and stress-reliever. I take songs like, I’m a Believer by the Monkees, or The Fighter by Keith Urban and Carrie Underwood, and I sing them to Jesus. It doesn’t matter what you sing or to who, what matters is the effect of allowing music to speak a refreshing language to your soul.  Climb a tree. Roll down a hill. Play Red Rover with a group of kids. Do anything silly that is reminiscent of childhood when adulting wasn’t even on your radar. The laughter and courage of letting your hair down will renew your spirit.   Make games out of the business of tending your dreams when possible and appropriate. Sometimes, I don’t feel like starting on a project, so I tell myself I only have to work for five minutes, but that’s enough to launch my momentum. Other times, I compete with myself for times, word counts, or the numbers of things I can check off my list. Even though I’m still working, this “gamer attitude” provides a mental break and an emotional escape for my mind and soul.   I also have some special eBook pricing for you. Type in the code TYDeb50 to get your copy of 4x4 Habit Overhaul, or One Minute Intervals™: Sixty Seconds to a Healthier, Foodier You, or Depression Busters, at over half off the normal price. Purchase a book bundle using the same code, and save even more.   But ACT NOW, before this special eBook discount offer is gone.   You can also get autographed copies of any of my books from my website.   Until next time, remember, your dreams are waiting for you to grab and tend:   Take courage.  Excel daily.  Never stop believing.  Dare to dream bigger.  Host Anita Agers-Brooks can be found on various social media platforms, and you can discover additional dream tending tips at tendyourdreams.com.

The subject came up again. Bi-weekly, I facilitate an entrepreneurs’ online mastermind group, and during last night’s session, I took them through an exercise I call a Celebration and Checkpoint Review. I asked them to think about and write down their answers to these four questions: What are 3 things you've learned since we started? 3 things you’ve implemented? 3 things you still need to improve on? 3 groups you would like to influence or target to help? From the answers shared, I noticed a pattern I’ve heard from many people I’ve spoken to or done trainings for. It either comes as a complaint or a confession. What is this commonality?  The lack of execution for creative concepts, opportunities, or commitments. As I often remind those I interact with, “You can know a lot, have the greatest amount of knowledge, or become privy to important information, but if you do nothing with what you know, it means nothing. The difference between knowledge and wisdom is execution.”  Let me give you a positive and inspiring example of a great executor. Her name is Gina. Everyone who meets her says they want a Gina. I want a Gina!  What I know of Gina’s story is that she has worked her way up from volunteer, to part-time helper, to administrative assistant, to titles like Director of Operations and now in her current role as Executive Pastor at her church, CLC Rolla. But there is no secret to her success.   Gina excels at execution. She follows through on every task, and she does so with the best of attitudes. She may not always feel happy (especially when she has to clean up after those who don’t execute—again), but you will not know it by her tone of voice, facial expressions, body language, or verbiage.   She presents herself calmly, respectfully, professionally, and maturely, but this does not mean she shies away from dealing with hard truths or difficult issues. You never want to misinterpret Gina’s kindness as weakness—she’s one of the strongest young women I know.   Does she get frustrated, disappointed, and maybe even angry sometimes? Of course, she’s human. But she handles herself with the utmost dignity, committed to not letting her emotions rule her choices, she gets the job done despite challenges. Gina decides daily to exercise execution to the best of her ability. When I think of excellent executors, Gina always comes to mind.   Gina is the epitome of the kind of person I described in my book, First Hired, Last Fired: How to Become Irreplaceable in Any Job Market. She’s the person that though someone else might step in to do her job, things would never quite be the same. She is truly irreplaceable. I cannot imagine anyone else fulfilling Gina’s role or making her impact, as well as she does.   So let’s talk about the traits that have led to Gina’s success, and how her example can help you become a solid executor for tending your dreams.    Defining Excellent Execution: Acting with integrity—doing the same things whether you believe anyone else can see or hear you or not. An excellent executor holds themselves accountable and makes good use of their time when no one else is around.  Being a promise-keeper versus a promise-breaker. (We’ve talked about this on previous shows.) An excellent executor is someone others can trust and count on to follow through.  Focus on what you can—not on what you cannot. An excellent executor does not wallow in self-pity or negative self-talk, instead, they work out of their strengths and are teachable and willing to learn in areas of weakness.  Choosing to do any job with the heart of a servant leader. An excellent executor has a motive to care for others, and to do so with compassion along with a drive to give more than receive.  Treating your clients, customers, or audiences as if their needs are truly important. Saying is not the same as doing. An excellent executor makes statements they mean and means the statements they make.  Working their way up. An excellent executor doesn’t waste energy grumbling or complaining, they simply dig in and get what needs to be done finished, gaining credibility and opportunities for growth along the way.  Filling Needs:  Honestly assess yourself right now—would the people who know you, work with you, and need your help say you are an excellent executor?   Where could you improve in order to become an excellent executor for the benefit of others and the tending of your dreams? Are you willing to commit to a life of excellent execution? If so, write it down, sign and date your resolution, and then, keep your word.  What have you allowed to get in the way of your execution efforts up to this point?   This episode’s Dream Tending Tips: Pick three things this week that you will commit to executing on when it comes to tending your dreams. Remember, dreams don’t just happen by themselves—you have to partner your efforts with God and tend until you make them happen.  If someone owes you money, don’t procrastinate—execute. Create an invoice and send it to them. Many dream tenders struggle with this in the early days of making their dreams come true. Track your time—in black and white. Don’t kid yourself about time management or productivity, measure for accuracy, and then work to improve when you identify areas of weakness. Tending your dreams successfully means having solid information to work with. Consider the Zaccheaus Zeal challenge from my book, First Hired, Last Fired. Resolve to give back four times what you take: in time, energy, resources, and value. Try it dream tender, and I promise, you will receive more than you pour out.   Don’t take on more than you are capable of executing. Delegate, teamwork, collaborate—these are terms wise executors and dream tenders know. Excellent execution is not about doing it all yourself.  In order to become irreplaceable, a difference must be evident. And becoming an excellent executor is a difference others are looking to work with and support.  Execute support and celebration for other dream tenders. As I shared in my new book, Exceedingly: Spiritual Strategies for Living on Purpose, with Purpose, and for an Abundant Purpose, when we authentically and selflessly lift others up, our dreams get a boost, too.  I also have some special eBook pricing for you. Type in the code TYDeb50 to get your copy of 4x4 Habit Overhaul, or One Minute Intervals™: Sixty Seconds to a Healthier, Foodier You, or Depression Busters, at over half off the normal price. Purchase a book bundle using the same code, and save even more.   But ACT NOW, before this special eBook discount offer is gone.   You can also get autographed copies of any of my books from my website.   Until next time, remember, your dreams are waiting for you to grab and tend:   Take courage.  Excel daily.  Never stop believing.  Dare to dream bigger.  Host Anita Agers Brooks can be found on various social media platforms, and you can discover additional dream tending tips at tendyourdreams.com.

There are some things in life we will never get over, but it is possible to get through. If you’re a dream tender, you may be surprised to discover your purpose, or what I describe as your high calling, may even grow from a place of massive pain. That’s what a few of my own past adversities have led to. At the very least, adversity will help your dreams grow. I’ll tell you how.   A couple of weeks ago, I told you the true story about finding out my dad is not my biological father. That is definitely one thing I will never get over, and it’s only one example from my life. But what I didn’t have time to tell you then, was how that revelation has changed my life in a meaningful way, and allowed me to help a lot of other people.   As an international speaker who specializes in motivational and inspirational messages for conferences and women’s events, along with trainings for businesses and organizations, I’m often asked to talk about challenges human beings face. Using personal story in my presentations does two things: it makes me more engaging, but it also makes me relevant.   The audience knows I have credibility when I talk about getting through things you will never get over, because they learn I’ve lived through some heavy-duty stuff. But even when you’re the expert or the speaker, you sometimes get surprised.   One of the shocks I’ve gotten from using my conception story to inspire and motivate audiences, is to discover just how many people are affected by identity issues. The statistics I found while writing my book, Getting Through What You Can’t Get Over, were staggering.    Biological Father Statistics:   According to the US Census Bureau, one-third of American children grow up without their biological fathers.  In the UK, one million men, 10.3 percent of all British fathers, do not live with their children.   In the past fifty years, nations around the world have seen a staggering increase in identity voids from missing parents—known or unknown.   I personally belong to private online groups for people with missing birth parents. The numbers are in the tens of thousands, and one DNA search group has nearly half a million members. The adopted, sperm-donor babies, and those like me, who were surprised in adulthood to find out the true story of their lives was different than what they’d been told, have to deal with a void.  And as much as a missing birth parent is difficult, people equally don’t get over death, divorce, or abandonment either. Maybe you can identify with a loss you’re struggling to come to terms with. Many people get up and go to work every day, wrestling to leave their personal problems at the door, when those issues are rooted in their very souls.   It’s no wonder we see grown women and men struggling with depression, anxiety, self-destructive behaviors, relationship sabotage, and more. But before you tune out thinking this episode is going to be a complete downer, hold on. We’re going to talk about how getting through what you can’t get over can help you tend your dreams. Your painful experiences can actually provide fertilizer to help your dreams grow. Let me tell you how.     5 Ways Adversity Can Help You Grow Your Dreams:  Tough experiences do make you stronger. None of us wants to hear that, especially when we’re in the throes of pain, but it is true. And to tend any dream for the long term, you will need a good dose of inner strength.  Difficulty makes you wiser, enabling you to avoid costly mistakes or future problems yourself, and possibly offering you the chance to help someone else avoid them, too. Authentic dream tending should always have an altruistic motive of assisting your fellow woman or man.  When you’ve made it through a situation that causes other people to shake their heads in wonder, you become relatable to them. Perfect looking people appear like plastic to someone whose own life is in chaos. Our messy lives qualify us as message-bearers of hope and encouragement. This is the stuff dreams are made of.  Authentic life experiences give you credibility—even more than any degree. People believe someone who’s lived real life and came out with something to share. Your story will likely open doors and may shed light on what you are meant to do with your life—it will certainly give you something of substance to share with other people. Going through any adversity will prove to you, that you have the fortitude necessary to tend your dreams. If you made it through one hard season, you will be better equipped for anything that challenges your dream.    Dream tender, I don’t know what makes it difficult for you to tend your dreams. I can’t see into your life to understand what has happened in your past that throws shadows of fear and doubt over your deepest desires. But I do know this, we hear it from successful people all of the time, “If I can, anyone can.”   Mostly, we disregard that statement and blow it off. But today, I challenge you to take a breath and dare to believe. Let yourself trust that this is actually true. If you want to make your dream reality, you’ve got to set your resolve that no matter what happened yesterday, or even what’s happening today, you will not quit or give up. You will not let negativity seep into your mind and steal your chance for success before you even try.   Stop telling yourself you “can’t” and from this moment on, say, “I can!”   Even if you’ve been through something you will never get over, you are no longer allowed to use that as an excuse, because I’ve just proven that adversity can actually provide fertilizer to help your dreams grow. If I hadn’t went through some excruciating seasons in life, my book, Getting Through What You Can’t Get Over would not exist, because I would have nothing valuable to offer on the subject. But because of my experiences, I absolutely do.    Filling Needs:  Turn your adversities or past pain upside down—there’s likely something you could do to make things better for someone else or even prevent them from going through something similar.   Each day, focus on helping at least one person who is going through something you’ve experienced before. Allow yourself to sit still in a quiet place and reflect on the moments that have hurt you the most. How did they change you? What did you learn? How have you let pain paralyze you up to this point?   This episode’s Dream Tending Tips: Ask yourself regularly, how could you help others from what you’ve endured and learned?   Use music to help you heal—it speaks the language of the soul and can assist in processing emotions. Choose to forgive if necessary. Unforgiveness can block any dream.   What do you wish was better in the world? Consider how you might play a role in making changes.  Make a list of all of the hard things you’ve been through, what have you learned that might help someone else? Look for patterns to see if there are any dream tending nuggets you’ve missed before.  Volunteer somewhere. Not only does assisting someone else help heal our broken hearts, but often we discover purposes and dreams wrapped in those connections.  Refuse to accept doomsday or “it’s always going to feel this way” thoughts. Determine to make something positive of the negative experiences that have blindsided you.  I also have some special eBook pricing for you. Type in the code TYDeb50 to get your copy of 4x4 Habit Overhaul, or One Minute Intervals™: Sixty Seconds to a Healthier, Foodier You, or Depression Busters, at over half off the normal price. Purchase a book bundle using the same code, and save even more.   But ACT NOW, before this special eBook discount offer is gone.   You can also get autographed copies of any of my books from my website.   Until next time, remember, your dreams are waiting for you to grab and tend:   Take courage.  Excel daily.  Never stop believing.  Dare to dream bigger.  Host Anita Agers Brooks can be found on various social media platforms, and you can discover additional dream tending tips at tendyourdreams.com.

The seed of a dream is often planted in childhood. Today, my guest and son, Madison Brooks, shares the story of how his dream began, but in his tale, we discover important keys for unlocking a dream. You don’t want to miss the thought-provoking questions that came out of this interview. People have debated over nature versus nurture for decades. I posed that question to Madison, and found his insights not only interesting, but spot on. Madison’s dream is connected to technology—he’s a near genius when it comes to electronics. But he may not have realized he had the gift, if he’d been shut down early in life, and it could easily have happened.  He wasn’t supposed to go into his grandfather’s computer room, it was off-limits to the kids. There were soldering irons, computer boards, chips, and various tools that could have either hurt a child or that a child could have damaged. And this was before computer prices came down, so one broken piece could have cost hundreds or thousands of dollars to replace. But one day, Madison did the unthinkable, he snuck into the computer room—and immediately got caught by his grandfather. However, instead of yelling or screaming or punishing, his grandfather saw Madison was simply curious, and invited him to sit down and began to teach him some basic skills. Their shared fascination with everything electronic bonded them together, so that every time Madison was at his grandparent’s house, the two would squirrel away in the computer room, tinkering for hours. Madison believes tending our dreams requires a blend of nature versus nurture, and I agree. His interest in electronics was wired into him. But had his grandfather yelled, shutting down Madison’s fascination with computers, he might never have approached them again, at least not with the passion and enthusiasm he has today. If we as his parents hadn’t encouraged his giftings, he might not have explored and progressed in pursuing his talents, meaning he wouldn’t have the ability to share his dreams with others, making their lives easier. One thing every dream tender needs to hear and let resonate in their soul—we need more positivity in the world, and your dreams can affect others in positive ways. If you don’t make your dreams come true and maintain them once you do, the rest of us miss out.  If your dreams were not encouraged in your childhood, you can encourage yourself. When your nature is not nurtured, a dream is destined to die. It’s not only okay to nurture your own dreams and spirit, but it’s often necessary.   Filling Needs: What did you explore as a child only to have an adult scare you away from it?  Who encouraged your dreams when you were growing up? When did you know you had a particular curiosity or fascination in areas connected to your dreams? Keys to unlocking our dreams are often hidden in our childhoods.   This episode’s Dream Tending Tips: Reflect on your life—was there a time when your childhood curiosity was shut down? If so, you as an adult can start exploring and pursuing today, refusing to let anyone stop you as you pursue your dreams.    Remember, as an adult, only you can stop you from dreaming.  It’s never too late for a fresh start with fresh faith—dare to pick up your dream and begin again. What are your interests that differ from those of others? This provides a hint that can lead you toward your dream—that thing you were made to do. Don’t let challenges and failures defeat you—expect them—then learn from your challenges and failures and keep moving forward.  If you don’t start working toward your dreams now, your somedays will run out and you will never know how much you could have succeeded.  Follow what comes naturally to you—when you enjoy what you do it isn’t work—whether you do so as part of a team collaborating with others or whether you do so as an entrepreneur.  When life feels heavy and fear threatens to drive you to quit, remember, this is not a forever situation, though it likely feels like it. Be your own greatest cheerleader and encourager, because with tenacity, your dream will see brighter days.  Find out more about Madison Brooks and discover the amazing technology services he offers at spyderwebstudio.com. If need a website for your dream he can help. Or if you’d like to improve your efficiency and effectiveness in making your dreams come true through his customized project management system—you can accomplish everything from one central location! It’s an unbelievable time and money saver!  Don’t forget to grab the special eBook pricing I have just for you.  Type in the code TYDeb50 to get your copy of 4x4 Habit Overhaul, or One Minute Intervals™: Sixty Seconds to a Healthier, Foodier You, or Depression Busters, at over half off the normal price. Purchase a book bundle using the same code, and save even more  But ACT NOW, before this special eBook discount offer is gone.  Until next time, remember, your dreams are waiting for you to grab and tend:  Take courage.  Excel daily.  Never stop believing.  Dare to dream bigger.   Host Anita Agers Brooks can be found on various social media platforms, and you can discover additional dream tending tips at tendyourdreams.com.

Clear communication is not cliche. Don’t believe me? Go into any business, talk to any couple, or interview any dream tender, and you’ll soon learn that most challenges or problems stem from communication issues. You’ll also discover that when communication flows well, it’s easier to make your dreams come true and to maintain them when you do. For many years, I’ve worked hard to develop myself as an excellent communicator. I’ve read books, listened to podcasts, watched interviews, attended conferences, and even went through intensive training to become a Certified Communications Specialist. And I can tell you, not an ounce of time or energy was wasted from investing myself in this endeavor. I’ve learned a lot, and on today’s show, I’m going to share some of my top tips for improving your ability to communicate clearly. But first, I want to share a short story about the power of consequences and rewards, depending on whether someone is willing and able to communicate well. Before I tell you this story, I want to back up just a bit to dig a little deeper into my last statement. Years ago, I worked as a banker, and we had a saying that I’ve never forgotten, as its truth applies to much more than financial matters. As lenders, we were often told, you need to consider both the willingness and ability of the proposed borrower to repay. You see, some people are willing, but due to life’s circumstances are unable to repay. It may be no fault of their own, but it also means a banker would be foolish to give them a loan. However, I’ve seen the converse play out an insane number of times: a borrower had the means and ability to repay, but due to immaturity, lack of commitment, or plain old laziness, did not repay their debts in a timely manner. So guess what happened the next time they wanted a loan? Most got angry when they were told “no” because they met the criteria, but what they were missing was the integrity to follow through.  This principle is equally important in communication. Yes, we need training and education in order to become better communicators, but then we must be willing to act on what we learn. No amount of information does us any good unless we do something with it. One man’s example shows us the difference in knowing and doing. I’ll call him Steve. He’s like a multitude of women and men I meet, who avoid communication mostly out of fear. Steve’s afraid for a myriad of reasons. He sometimes fears being asked to do things beyond his comfort zone.  Sometimes he’s afraid of embarrassment if he can’t meet expectations.  In some cases, he’s buried years of emotions, and fears communication will cause a dam to break on a buildup of feelings he’s carefully tried to hold back. And other times, he fears triggers that remind him of a past he wants to forget.  Recently, Steve walked into the middle of a conflict between two other people. Conflict is a trigger for him—reminding him of a parent who often berated him by yelling and calling him names, because he could never meet their expectations. But this particular conflict also triggered something else for Steve.  Because of the context of the conflict, it caused him to see an old side of himself he’s worked very hard to overcome. Though he has made great strides, he still battles a pervasive guilt and regret from mistakes in his past. The situation caused him to fall back into an old pattern, and the consequences did not initially turn out well.  Steve went into avoidance mode. Instead of taking a deep breath and calming facing his emotions, he walked out and left the situation. But he did so without explaining himself, leaving others to have no choice but to make assumptions about his choice. Sadly, as so often happens with lack of clear communication, those assumptions were misinterpreted to mean something different from his motive. This led to an escalation of emotions directly involving Steve. It could easily have magnified to the point of a complete relationship breakdown. But thankfully, Steve did communicate with someone close to him and the others involved in the situation, and explained what he was truly feeling inside. And he took another very important step. Steve chose to take responsibility for his part in the communication breakdown, versus getting defensive and stubbornly making excuses to defend why he was right. This was much different from the Steve of his youth—who would have fought like a cornered cat to prove why he was right and everyone else was wrong. He went so far as to say, “I can see how I made things worse by walking out. I shouldn’t have done that. I know I need to explain how that kind of situation makes me feel and what it does to me inside.” Steve is learning the art of communication, and the power of its impact. His willingness to take responsibility gave everyone in the situation a chance to start fresh. As a result of Steve’s courage to confess his part in the communication conflict, to humble himself and work to make it better, others are also willing to communicate and cooperate, making healing and resolution possible. This is a lesson that can help any dream tender, no matter what you pursue. When tending your dreams, it’s crucial that you understand good communication practices—and then exercise them in your daily habits. Whether you are reaching out to a potential customer or client, dealing with a vendor, conversing with colleagues, co-workers, or those you lead, or simply sharing your message with the public in a wider world, clear communication is key to your success.   I’ve created an acronym for the word C.L.E.A.R. that may help. Communicate early and often. Do not put off what needs to be shared today, unless your emotions will drive your words, then the wiser choice is to let your feelings normalize. Leave assumptions out of communication. Ask more questions and make fewer statements.  Encourage others to speak and keep your lips zipped when they do. Interruptions are not only rude, but can magnify confusion, chaos, and conflict. Dominating a conversation destroys clear communication.  Repeat what you thought you heard. When we ask clarifying questions, it’s amazing how often we figure out what we’re missing. For example, you can say, “I thought I heard you say _____________, am I right?” Or, “When you said __________________, did you mean?” Or, “Am I off base in thinking this is what you want ___________________?”  From experience, I can assure you, these kinds of questions will improve communication in all areas of your life and lead to greater success: at work, as you chase your dreams, with your spouse, in your relationships with your children, and even if you’re trying to get a loan. Anytime people are involved, there are simple tips and secrets that can take your communication efforts to the next level. Not only will this save you many headaches, but it will help you achieve your dreams much more efficiently and effectively.   Filling Needs:  Be willing to step up and take responsibility for clear communication. Be a hero who initiates improvement when understanding breaks down, and influence others by setting a good example of proactive communication.   Seek to understand before fighting to be understood. Remember that in communication your responsibility is two-fold—to ensure you clarify, so you fully understand what the other person is saying, and to speak clearly so the other person understands what you mean. How have communication challenges or victories hindered or helped you as you tend your dreams?   This episode’s Dream Tending Tips: Never assume others know what you’re thinking, or that they should. And don’t make the mistake of assuming you can read someone else’s mind.  Remember, you have two ears and one mouth for a reason. Listen twice as much as you speak. Use clarifying questions to ensure you clearly understood what the person you are communicating with truly means.  If you feel a twinge of frustration, schedule a time to speak up calmly and assertively with the individual(s) involved, instead of stuffing your feelings until they build into a frenzied emotional explosion. When there’s any kind of emotional element, before texting, emailing, or snail mailing anything in writing, let it sit for a minimum of 24 hours before you send. Communicate honestly. Do not set yourself up for failure by presenting something you cannot provide. It’s better to say nothing at all than to make a promise you cannot or will not keep. When you communicate, be a promise keeper, not a promise breaker. Ask yourself daily, “Who, what, where, when, why, and how do I need to improve my communication skills?” What potential impact might it make if I invest myself in this? What will it cost me if I don’t make the effort?” Grab the Tending Your Dreams’ free giveaway at tendyourdreams.com/freebie40 for your gift, just for tuning in. I also have some special eBook pricing for you.    Type in the code TYDeb50 to get your copy of 4x4 Habit Overhaul, or One Minute Intervals™: Sixty Seconds to a Healthier, Foodier You, or Depression Busters, at over half off the normal price. Purchase a book bundle using the same code, and save even more. But ACT NOW, before this special eBook discount offer is gone. Until next time, remember, your dreams are waiting for you to grab and tend: Take courage.  Excel daily.  Never stop believing.  Dare to dream bigger.   Host Anita Agers Brooks can be found on various social media platforms, and you can discover additional dream tending tips at tendyourdreams.com.

It happens to all of us. Burn out. Unexpected illness or accident. Blindsiding family crisis. Unexpected financial hits. No matter what kind of dreams you’re tending, you can count on dealing with things you didn’t count on. I’m in that space right now. I originally intended to record on the topic of the value and power of Mental Breaks and Emotional Escapes while tending your dreams, but that will now come in a later episode.  This year is doing a number on my family. In actuality, we’re dealing with everything I mentioned above, and then some. It started January 1st. And as the “fresh faith in business, life, and love” gal, you know I had a plan coming into the new year. But in dream tending, you have to prepare yourself, because though planning is good, so is flexibility. Things don’t always go as planned. And whatever happens at home is going to affect your work—as does the converse—what happens at work is going to affect your home. Mid-morning on January 1st, I started receiving text messages telling me about events that would turn our family upside down. A member has apparently made secret choices for decades that has hurt more people than we can possibly know. I can’t share the details, because that part of the story is not mine to tell publicly. But I will say it’s bad—REALLY bad!  The ripple effect of emotions reaches wide and far. People with varying opinions, beliefs, and assumptions about the situation want to be heard, and understandably so. And when you’re a go-to person like me, guess whose ear gets bent? But in no way take this as a complaint, because I see it as an appropriate privilege in this case. This is family, and after God, family should always come first. Showing you care is different from simply saying you care, and you demonstrate it through your attitude and availability to those you love. It makes me cringe when my close family members say, “I know how busy you are, and I don’t want to bother you.” Here’s the thing, I am always busy, but not too busy to be there for the people God has placed in my life. Authentic dream tending is a balanced practice, where pursuits and people work in tandem. Like canoeing, sometimes one oar or the other is navigating the craft in the water, and sometimes, they row at the same time. Those oars represent our professional and personal desires. Few people dealing with truly traumatic and painful situations find someone willing to listen, show compassion and empathy, without jumping into fix-it mode. I’m not perfect at this, but I am intentional. Because of the calling on my life to educate, inspire, and encourage today’s influencers, it’s important that I influence well. I cannot effectively teach what I don’t walk out. Sometimes part of dream tending is living out your life, before you pass lessons on. But the cascade that began on January 1st was far from the only thing this year brought—it’s being rather unkind. And far beyond normal annoyances, frustrations, or stresses.  The first week of February, my husband had an automobile accident—and it was his fault. This is a guy with a clean driving record, who needs to maintain it for his work. But conditions were very foggy that day, and he literally did not see the car he pulled out in front of, though he looked. He cannot explain exactly what happened. But regardless, the consequences could have been catastrophic for our financial well-being. Especially, because our health insurance comes through his employer.  For weeks, we’ve been on pins and needles as his mandatory court date approached. But knowing the power of proactive approaches to dream tending, including those of survival, I prayed, asked others to do the same, repeatedly decided to walk in faith, and then did my part. I wrote a letter to the prosecuting attorney on my husband’s behalf, explaining the truth of the situation, and humbly asking for a merciful hand, due to the job connection.  Just this morning, he had his hearing, and miraculously, the results were better than we could have imagined. Mercy requested—mercy received. I couldn’t be there to witness it with my own eyes and ears, as I had an international TV interview I really needed to make. But I did not let guilt eat me up, I found a stand-in, who proved much more fit for the task than me anyway. Our oldest son stepped up, assisted his dad, and helped guide him though. Sometimes, we dream tenders need to identify the need for and allow the benefits of simple delegation. Not only does it free us up, but it also lets others share in the blessings.  But now let me backtrack for a minute, because it’s early April as I record now. I skipped my own March madness event.  On March 1st, I woke up with pain in my neck. It wasn’t constant, and though the stings were intense, mostly I could work around it. After a few days, it became severe enough that I went to see my chiropractor, who is a gentle and prayerful physician. He carefully worked on me over the next few weeks, and I did get relief, but it seemed to only come for a couple of days, then things went back to increasingly bad.  A week ago, things worsened so much that I was driven to tears and a few times, onto my floor, writhing in pain. And I’m a high-tolerance lady. First thing Monday, I called and asked for an emergency appointment. (My chiropractor gave me a gentle chastise for not doing it sooner.)  But by the time I got in to see him, I was crying uncontrollably from the pain. Dr. Hagene said, “I had a feeling I should have scheduled you for a second appointment on Friday last week, but I talked myself out of it. I should have listened to my intuition."  He did a tiny amount of work to relieve immediate pressure, but also sent me straight to see a medical doctor. He did not mess around. A few hours later, I left the doctor’s office having received a steroid shot, and with prescriptions for oral steroids and muscle relaxers in hand. She and my chiropractor both agreed, inflammation had started in my right shoulder, probably from the amount of typing I do, and not always from the best position. The swelling spread and intensified until it began pushing on the discs in my upper spine. Finally, two of my discs became bulged, explaining the horrific pain I was in. The medical doctor told me to expect them to kick in within 24-48 hours. She was right on target.  Mid-morning Tuesday, I suddenly began to feel some of the pressure releasing as the swelling had went down. By that evening, the pain and pressure were about a tenth of what they’d been. The next morning, there was even more improvement. And though I’m not back to 100%, and still can’t be on my computer for long periods of time, I am recovering quickly. And the lessons learned from my physical challenge is multi-faceted.   Filling Needs:  Be still when you need to and know that sometimes the best remedy is rest for your body, mind and spirit.  Listen to your intuition—it often tells you a truth you could talk yourself out of believing.  Don’t give up on your dreams, even when you feel like you’re dying. What unexpected happenings have you dealt with while tending your dreams?   This episode’s Dream Tending Tips: Remember, it’s not what happens to us while we’re tending our dreams that has the most impact, but how we react to those circumstances. When you need to stop—stop! Overdoing will only undermine your efforts. Burn out, illness or accident, unexpected financial hits, or a family crisis are among the things that may signal it’s time for a temporary hiatus. Just don’t let a delay signal your dream’s end.  Flex your flexibility when blindsided by hard times. Learning to bend and roll when your dream tending efforts aren’t going as planned provides fertilizer for long-term success.    Never assume that a season of adversity means you need to quit. Instead, see it as a season of dream growth. Are you putting family first? If not, it’s time for a priority check.  Put self-care on your calendar. Regularly, consistently, and persistently, keep putting your health and well-being first—otherwise, you will not be capable of tending your dreams.  When disillusions and disappointment hit your dreams hard, look for the recipe to make lemonade out of your lemons. Then squeeze hard and pull the ingredients of your knowledge, experience, passion and education together, stir hard, and drink deep from the sweetness you can make from sour situations.  Grab the Tending Your Dreams’ free giveaway at tendyourdreams.com/freebie39 for your gift, just for tuning in. I also have some special eBook pricing for you.  Type in the code TYDeb50 to get your copy of 4x4 Habit Overhaul, or One Minute Intervals™: Sixty Seconds to a Healthier, Foodier You, or Depression Busters, at over half off the normal price. Purchase a book bundle using the same code, and save even more.  But ACT NOW, before this special eBook discount offer is gone.   Until next time, remember, your dreams are waiting for you to grab and tend: Take courage.  Excel daily.  Never stop believing.  Dare to dream bigger.   Host Anita Agers Brooks can be found on various social media platforms, and you can discover additional dream tending tips at tendyourdreams.com.

Fashion comes in many forms. My friend Kathryn Graves is passionate about nutrition and health, both crucial for dream tending, but she also knows the value of appearance. When we match our efforts inside and out, we can hit a dream tender’s sweet spot. What we wear, especially as women, we express our personalities. What we wear can affect how we feel, it sets the tone for the day, and impacts our outlook. Especially if you grew up with low self-esteem or a low self image, intentionality in your fashion choices can transform not only how others view you, but how you view yourself. Fashion is more than a surface topic. Kathy gained confidence from becoming more put together on the outside. And whether we’re male or female, what we put on the outside can affect our inside. She shares the story of a man who would get up in the morning, take a shower, dress in corporate casual clothes, go to a coffee shop, drive around the block, then come back to his home office ready to start the day. It helped him get serious and stay disciplined with the work he needed to do. Dressing for the day made him feel like he was ready to dig in.  Something as simple as intentional order can make a huge difference in our energy level, how we see ourselves, and how we do our work. The order around us can create order inside us—or conversely—chaos around us can create chaos inside us.  A woman’s clothes closet is a good example. When we clean out our closets, we can actually find we have more than when we started. Putting your surroundings in order can help you order your dreams. For instance, if you can’t find the resources you need to put your hands on, you can lose a great deal of time hunting.  It also affects your concentration. You can’t focus on your work when you are distracted by disorder. The good news for dream tenders, is that chaos and disorder are preventables for dream tenders. We can decide to take a proactive approach to the clutter in and around us, and then make a fresh start cleanup.   Filling Needs: What preventables can or should you address proactively to help you tend your dreams?  Do you start your dreams off each day by dressing for success? Where can you clean up some chaos to put your dreams back in their priority place? Your fashion focus can affect your dream focus.   This episode’s Dream Tending Tips: Don’t wallow in your weaknesses. If you are a messy organized person like me, don’t use that as an excuse to maintain your disorderly ways and imprison yourself in chronic chaos. Your heart is like your closet. Things can get stuffed in there, and it can get overloaded with junk. When you clean out your clothes closet, don’t forget to clean out your heart’s closet as well. If your spiritual life is chaotic, then you miss out on the peace and natural order that can help you when your dream tending load feels heavy. Pursue ongoing education connected to helping you hone the craft of your dreams. Layer what you learn, to deepen the effect of the knowledge you gain. Do your homework, as a practical and practiced way to apply what you learn. People make approximately 43 assumptions about you during their first impression of you, based on how you look. Smart dream tenders make the effort to display their best when leaving the nest. Raise your energy when you start the day. If you go out, choose energizing colors, fabrics, and styles that make you feel confident. If you work from home, dress as if you are going to work somewhere else—it will heighten your energy and your productivity. Let people see the you behind your eyes, but not choosing distracting clothing styles. How we present ourselves can determine whether doors of opportunity open or close. Find out more about Kathryn Graves and discover her amazing book at kathryngraves.com. If you need to improve your order, style, or sense of self, Kathryn is someone you’ll want to follow!   Grab the Tending Your Dreams’ free giveaway at tendyourdreams.com/freebie38 for your gift, just for tuning in. I also have some special eBook pricing for you.   Type in the code TYDeb50 to get your copy of 4x4 Habit Overhaul, or One Minute Intervals™: Sixty Seconds to a Healthier, Foodier You, or Depression Busters, at over half off the normal price. Purchase a book bundle using the same code, and save even more.  But ACT NOW, before this special eBook discount offer is gone.  Until next time, remember, your dreams are waiting for you to grab and tend: Take courage.  Excel daily.  Never stop believing.  Dare to dream bigger.  Host Anita Agers Brooks can be found on various social media platforms, and you can discover additional dream tending tips at tendyourdreams.com.

Few people I meet would define their lives as exceedingly abundant. Instead, sadly, most describe a stuck-in-a-rut, barely-getting-by existence. I do not believe this is what we were made for. Most definitions of abundance refer to a degree of plentifulness or ample quantity. I like the word image of life to the full, or the biblical picture painted in the 23rd Psalm, where it says, “My cup runneth over.” Though rare, I’ve seen people who exemplify a life to running over the brim.  Thomas Edison is one of those people. But not because he had a perfect life, or because everything ran smoothly. He spoke from experience when he said, “I have not failed. I have just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”  He also said, “Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”  I would add, “Most people are not plugged into the reason they exist. They don’t understand the more they were made for.”  I understand how this feels. In my new book, Exceedingly: Spiritual Strategies for Living on Purpose, with Purpose, and for an Abundant Purpose, among other true stories, I share a few of my own. And for the first time, I wrote about the secret revelation surrounding my identity. I’m going to tell you a little about it today.  It started with a Facebook message from an acquaintance. The question she asked me started a cascade that changed my entire life. I discovered that most of what I believed about myself wasn’t true. “Do you know someone by the name of _______________?”  Stunned, I wrote back, “I think that’s my dad. Why do you ask?”  It felt like forever before she answered. Finally, a new message came through. “I’m so sorry. I thought you’d tell me this was a distant cousin or something. I had no idea he was your dad. I’m not sure if you knew this or not, but I’m adopted. I found my birth mother shortly before she died. This is the name she gave me.”  Stunned, I had to catch an emotional breath before my friend and I met a couple of nights later. I took notes on the details she had, but stopped when she asked, “Would you see if your dad would take a DNA test with me?”  That one was tough. I hadn’t seen my dad in a few years. My parents were divorced and he had moved on, mostly leaving his former family behind. Oddly though, I was flying out within the week, and planned to visit him on that trip. Still, asking him to take a DNA test was not something I felt comfortable with. And when I told my mom about the request, what she said made the thought feel even more awkward. Much more!  “She wants me to see if Dad will take a DNA test with her,” I said.  My mom’s reaction wasn’t what I expected. When she suggested that my brother should test with my friend, and then changed the subject, something made me ask what I believed was a rhetorical question. I was chuckling when I blurted out. “Dad’s absolutely my father. Right?”  I waited for her laughter in return, but instead, she began to wail. That’s the moment I found out my paternity was in question. Within two weeks, I received the DNA results. I was shocked to discover that my dad is not my biological father. You can read the details in Exceedingly, but for this episode, the entire story isn’t my point. It’s what I went through in the days following the revelation about my identity. When I was in the throes of grief, I struggled with a recurring thought, I’m an accident, and I should not exist. It took time, but eventually the truth began to seep in. A close friend said to me, “God sure must have wanted you to exist. You are the only person with your exact mix of DNA on the planet.” Her statement, along with some other dramatic moments, finally convinced me of the truth. I exist on purpose, with purpose, and I was created for an abundant purpose. I believe the same is true of you.    Filling Needs:  Look at your history and search for emotional lies that have convinced you there’s no purpose for your life. If you have not figured out why you exist, go on a quest to unearth the reason.  Allow yourself to believe you deserve an abundant life. How are your dreams connected to the way you view yourself?   This episode’s Dream Tending Tips: Stop settling for a stuck-in-a-rut, barely-getting-by existence. Pursue your abundant purpose. Does your cup run over? If not, how can you start refilling yourself?   Have you ever gotten close to success, but then things got dark, difficult, or dangerous, making you quit?  Remember, it’s never too late for a fresh start with fresh faith. If you’ve given up on your dreams, consider resurrecting them.   If you’ve tried and failed 9,999 times, resolve to go for 10,000. Dreams and purpose fit like hand in glove—unlayer one and you’ll find the other.  You exist on purpose, with purpose, and for an abundant purpose—if you don’t believe this already, dare to discover yours.  Grab the Tending Your Dreams’ free giveaway at tendyourdreams.com/freebie37 for your gift, just for tuning in. I also have some special eBook pricing for you.  Type in the code TYDeb50 to get your copy of 4x4 Habit Overhaul, or One Minute Intervals™: Sixty Seconds to a Healthier, Foodier You, or Depression Busters, at over half off the normal price. Purchase a book bundle using the same code, and save even more.  But ACT NOW, before this special eBook discount offer is gone.    Until next time, remember, your dreams are waiting for you to grab and tend: Take courage.  Excel daily.  Never stop believing.  Dare to dream bigger.  Host Anita Agers Brooks can be found on various social media platforms, and you can discover additional dream tending tips at tendyourdreams.com.

Some people just add spark to life. My friend Deborah Coty is one fireball of energy. Her best-selling Too Blessed to Be Stressed series encapsulates a bit of her spirit, and this interview will give you a glimpse into her amazing dream tending heart. A few minutes with this woman will refresh and revive you.  Deborah dreamed as a child of writing a book. She was what she calls a “rabid reader” devouring every story she could get her hands on. Christy by Catherine Marshall particularly inspired and captured Deborah’s attention. She read that one book about twelve times in six months. It changed her way of viewing herself. It changed her way of viewing God. It changed her way of viewing life. And she felt a spark of hope that she too, might some day help other people through writing books, the way that single story had helped her. For the next thirty-six years, her writing consisted of preparing medical charts and penning an annual family Christmas newsletter. But at forty-five years old, just as her youngest child was getting ready to fly the coop, leaving Deb’s nest empty, she felt as if she was missing something. There was something she was supposed to be doing. She just couldn’t figure it out. But one day, as she was sitting in a dentist’s office, praying, she heard a still, small voice in her spirit speak two simple words. “It’s time.” She says in that moment, she knew exactly what she was supposed to do. She remembered that dream from so long ago . . . of writing. She took some crash courses on writing, and first concentrated on magazine articles. From there, she began to explore the possibility of writing books. Today, Deb’s Too Blessed to Be Stressed series has sold just under a million copies. She says she’s the poster child for the truth that it’s never too late to chase your dreams. And if you follow me at all, you know that makes her a woman after my own heart. Often, we feel as if our dream has been buried, but in reality, it’s been planted. There are things going on beneath the surface. There’s watering, the soil has be tilled, and we even require fertilizer.  The patience part is what can get to us. We want what we want and we want it now. But when we begin to realize that God is the one who planted our dreams in our hearts, and according to the Bible, He is willing to do exceedingly, abundantly more than we can ask or think (Ephesians 3:20), our dreams can burst out of the darkness. When Deborah’s Too Blessed to Be Stressed books first released, they didn’t sell that well. But suddenly, the sleeper awoke. Deborah can’t explain exactly how it happened, but I think her consistent faith had much to do with it.   Filling Needs: Are the expectations you’re setting for yourself reasonable?  Are you over-complicating what God wants to do in your life? Have you asked Him what He wants to unearth in you? Are you allowing fears that you’re too poor, too young, too old, too stressed, or too anything to hold you back from pursuing your dreams? Work with what you have and realize that life is equipping you in preparation for your future dreams.   This episode’s Dream Tending Tips: Start where you are. Look around you. What’s going on? What experiences have you had? Who are the people who’ve influenced you? This is the fodder to help you tend your dreams.   Do something silly, unusual, or unrelated to your dreams to unleash your inner creativity. Consider what you’ve learned, what are the habits or disciplines that can help you tend your dreams? Be willing to learn and relearn, to practice and re-practice, so your skills are sharply honed. Listen to people’s complaints, but from a different perspective. What are you hearing that might be part of a greater plan for your life? Are you being called to do something based on patterns of complaint? Don’t discount what God wants to do with what you plant. Ask Him to show you what to seed. Don’t give up on your dreams too soon—don’t let them die—don’t kill them too early. Sometimes, it may appear as if our dreams are buried, but if we keep working the soil, watering, and fertilizing, then suddenly, new growth can burst from the ground. Find out more about Deborah Coty and discover her amazing books at http://deboracoty.com. This is one fun and inspiring gal you will want to follow!  Grab the Tending Your Dreams’ free giveaway at tendyourdreams.com/freebie36 for your gift, just for tuning in. I also have some special eBook pricing for you.  Type in the code TYDeb50 to get your copy of 4x4 Habit Overhaul, or One Minute Intervals™: Sixty Seconds to a Healthier, Foodier You, or Depression Busters, at over half off the normal price. Purchase a book bundle using the same code, and save even more.  But ACT NOW, before this special eBook discount offer is gone.   Until next time, remember, your dreams are waiting for you to grab and tend:   Take courage.  Excel daily.  Never stop believing.  Dare to dream bigger.   Host Anita Agers Brooks can be found on various social media platforms, and you can discover additional dream tending tips at tendyourdreams.com.

Some of our dreams are unusual in the eyes of other people. The dream Allison Deppenbrock pursued is not something most people would even consider, much less accomplish. She’s achieved a very unique endeavor.  Allison went to Bayou la Batre (home of Forrest Gump’s shrimping business, Bubba Gump) to attend sea school so she could become a certified boat captain—one of few females who’ve done so. She and her husband wanted to navigate educational vessels for families and children in their home state of Kentucky.  For fourteen long, intense days, surrounded by twenty-six male sailors who Allison says fit the stereotype well, she studied. Classes lasted twelve hours each day, where she learned to read charts, memorize flags, and reviewed every detail of a boat’s anatomy. Then she crammed for tests at night, going over the specifics again, leaving room for an average of four hours sleep a night.   Tenacity, perseverance, resolve, and commitment were necessities, as Allison pursued this unusual dream. She said, “I had to work it, and I had to work it hard. There were many times I wanted to quit. There were challenges at home, flooding, a dear friend passed, and being the only woman added to the pressure. But I just prayed and prayed and prayed, and pushed through.” If you’ve tended any dream for any length of time, you already know the qualities and mindset Allison demonstrated are necessary for you as well. You have to dig deep to keep making the efforts to succeed. Dream tending requires practical steps, mental fortitude, emotional stability, but you can’t miss the spiritual aspect. It’s like a three-legged stool, if the spiritual leg is broken, the whole piece falls down. We need to make sure our spirits are cared for in the pursuits of our heart’s desires. Support is another crucial part of dream tending. When we have another human being in our lives who gets it, who gets us, can help us keep putting one foot in front of the other. Knowing someone is rooting for us, can drive us forward.   Filling Needs: Are you allowing yourself to opt out versus pushing yourself forward? Have you decided in advance not to give up on your dreams—and are you deciding it over again every day? Are you willing to push yourself through the tough stuff to reach a place of celebration? Your dreams can drain you, but in a “good tired” way. When you accomplish something most people haven’t had the guts to try, it’s powerfully energizing.   This episode’s Dream Tending Tips: Get out of your own mind and take a risk. Why not you? Allow yourself to imagine what might seem improbable. Try something new. Give something daring a shot. Dare to live! Say to yourself regularly, “I CAN do this!” Be your own advocate. Affirm yourself. Be your own encouraging voice. Refine your raw talents. Do you really want your dream? If you do, then push through and seize it with determination and decision! Once you achieve, don’t rest on your laurels, keep your skills sharp. If you’ve been allowing fear to hold you back—stop now! Give yourself permission to dream. Find out about Allison’s river guided trips and Buffalo Trace Tours on the Kentucky River at kyrivertours.com  Grab the Tending Your Dreams’ free giveaway at tendyourdreams.com/freebie35 for your gift, just for tuning in. I also have some special eBook pricing for you.   Type in the code TYDeb50 to get your copy of 4x4 Habit Overhaul, or One Minute Intervals™: Sixty Seconds to a Healthier, Foodier You, or Depression Busters, at over half off the normal price. Purchase a book bundle using the same code, and save even more.  But ACT NOW, before this special eBook discount offer is gone.   Until next time, remember, your dreams are waiting for you to grab and tend:  Take courage.  Excel daily.  Never stop believing.  Dare to dream bigger.

I’m writing a book about Tending Your Dreams right now—this one is specifically for women who hold onto hope while they wonder, “When will it be my turn?” But what we say to ourselves will help determine when and if we succeed at our dream tending efforts. Your voice matters, especially when it comes to pursuing what you want the most. It was Henry Ford who said, “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.”  Something I I’d remind you is, “Every dream starts with what the mind hears.”  I can remember being a young mom with a sweet little toddler who believed my every waking hour belonged to him. Even the bathroom wasn’t sacred. But one day, I felt like a little stuck and as if my life would never change. I just needed to be alone with my thoughts, so I made my little guy stay outside, while I locked the door to the bathroom, and let water run in the tub. He cried so hard, and his little hand swept back and forth beneath the door as he cried out, “Mommy. Mommy. I want you.” In that moment, I was tempted to unlock the door as guilt and resentment swirled together. And then I began to beat myself up. Moms weren’t supposed to act this way were they? Wasn’t it my duty to put my child above my own needs? Was there something wrong with me for wanting to be more than a mother? After all, I adored my children—they were desperately wanted and loved. But while I tended to everyone else’s needs, sometimes I couldn’t help wondering who was tending mine. At that time, even I wasn’t doing such a great job of it.  But I learned that day that my child and I could both survive if I gave myself a short mental and emotional break. Actually, we were both the better for it. I stepped out of that tub feeling a little less frustrated and a little more refreshed. I began to realize that motherhood did not mean a tradeoff for my dreams. It simply meant I would have to be smart, strategic, and take small steps until I could pour myself more fully into some of the deeper desires hidden in my heart.  And changing the things I said to myself would help me hold onto hope while I waited for my turn. One thing I had to release were the when-thens. Those statements we make to ourselves when we justify not taking at least one action toward what we say we want. We say things like:  “When I finish this, then I’ll do something different.” “When I get through this tough spot, then I’ll be able to do something different." “When I save more money, then I’ll be able to afford to do something different.”  The truth is, you can do at least one different thing today—something positive and active toward making your dreams come true. Drop the when-thens, and challenge yourself to do at least one proactive thing toward making your dreams come true today. Find educational resources related to what you want to do. Sign up for a class. Buy a book. Listen to a podcast.  Practice. So many dream tenders tell themselves they’ll work on their dream when everything aligns, but I can tell you, life will never align perfectly. If you want to fulfill your dreams, you’re going to have to start doing something when it’s not easy. You’ll have to talk yourself through tough spots and frustration as life sometimes seems to conspire against you.  So how do you do that?   Filling Needs:  Separate facts from feelings by writing each down as they relate to your present circumstances. Face your fears of success as well as your scares of failure.  Remember, you don’t have to do your dreams—you get to! What are you telling yourself about yourself and your dream tending pursuits?   This episode’s Dream Tending Tips: Get alone with your thoughts and focus on self-awareness. You can’t think clearly when your mind is cluttered, and you can’t capture thoughts when you don’t pay attention to them.  When pity-party thinking sets in, take those emotional lies captive and send them to the gallows.  The human brain is not capable of thinking two polar opposite thoughts simultaneously. So when fear and insecurity threaten your dreams, smother them with quotes about courage and confidence.   If an I can’t pops into your head, replace it with a review list of people who overcame incredible odds. The only person stopping you from eventually inspiring others through resolve, determination, and perseverance is you.  Tend your dreams daily by creating a Pinterest board with inspirations and motivations. If you need a jump-start on ideas, quotes, exercises, etc., check out my Tending Your Dreams™ board. You can find me under Anita Brooks - Author. Ask your friends about their self-talk struggles. When we realize we’re not alone, we automatically gain a boost of boldness and energy.  Replace mental down-grading thoughts with affirmations reminding yourself of your gifts, talents, and abilities.  Grab the Tending Your Dreams’ free giveaway at tendyourdreams.com/freebie34 for your gift, just for tuning in. I also have some special eBook pricing for you. Type in the code TYDeb50 to get your copy of 4x4 Habit Overhaul, or One Minute Intervals™: Sixty Seconds to a Healthier, Foodier You, or Depression Busters, at over half off the normal price. Purchase a book bundle using the same code, and save even more.  But ACT NOW, before this special eBook discount offer is gone.   Until next time, remember, your dreams are waiting for you to grab and tend:  Take courage.  Excel daily.  Never stop believing.  Dare to dream bigger.  Host Anita Agers Brooks can be found on various social media platforms, and you can discover additional dream tending tips at tendyourdreams.com.

To make any dream come true, and to maintain them when we do, we need our health. Susan reminds us all, “We must take care of our bodies so we can make it through this life  gracefully.”   Susan Neal is a beautiful inside and outside nurse and certified health practitioner by day, but for years, she carried a secret in her soul. It began while she filled the role of stay-at-home mom for twenty years, but she ended up following a different path for quite some time. Actually, her work in healthcare is still a parallel path to her dreams today.   Starting in her early 50’s, Susan decided she wanted to be an author. She needed something to fill her heart and her own creativity. So if you think life has passed your dreams by, then you will want to listen in to this inspiring entrepreneur. Remember what I so often say, “It’s never too late for a fresh start with fresh faith!”  Not everyone understands what their dreams are from childhood. Many of us have dreams that lay fallow for years, until one day, you realize you have a drive and a desire to pursue something in particular.    In reality, Susan’s work in healthcare created a foundation for her writing dreams. She invested in learning all she could about her passions, then she lived them out, until she was fully equipped to pass her knowledge and wisdom on to other people. This is a piece too many aspiring dream-tenders miss. We must live and experience what we want to teach, if we are to be effective.   Susan’s insights were great, but as this interview continued, I did not want to miss the opportunity to glean Susan’s wisdom on taking care of ourselves, so we are equipped for healthy dreaming. She is a wealth of insight when it comes to infusing us and our dreams for living our best.    Filling Needs: What symptoms is your body using to signal that you need to make changes? Are you at your prime when it comes to having the energy and endurance needed for healthy dreaming? Do you realize how much people evaluate you by how you look and respond?  Healthier choices will give you strength to live your dreams longer, to make better impressions, and to truly enjoy what you do.    This episode’s Dream Tending Tips: Eighty percent of the time, eat well. When you don’t deprive yourself completely, you are more likely to sustain a healthier lifestyle.  When traveling, look for a grocery store to grab a quick snack or meal in place of a drive-thru. If you must choose a fast food option, look for healthy foods—most offer at least one.  Focus on the perimeter of the grocery store. Avoid processed, packaged, and boxed foods that hide in the middle aisles.  Eat lots and lots of vegetables. Half of your plate should be filled with fresh, raw vegetables.  Eat low sugar fruits, green apples, berries, plums, grapefruit, and avoid high sugar foods like melons, cantaloup. Avoid wheat if possible. Quinoa, brown rice, barley, are good replacements for wheat as your grain. Avoiding wheat alone can help you lose 1-2 pounds per week.  Add a half a handful of raw nuts for some added protein.These are especially good for those times when you feel hurried and harried. For quick, on-the-go healthier snacks, get some little bags of raw nuts to keep with you.  Keep a green apple with you at all times.  Eating healthier will help you feel better, look better, lose weight, and clear up a lot of brain fog. These are crucial elements to successful dream tending.  To take advantage of Susan’s free 7 Day No Sugar Wheat-Free Challenge, go to susanuneal.com/7daychallenge and don’t forget to check out her website susanuneal.com. Her best-selling book, 7 Steps to Get Off Sugar and Carbohydrates is helping people make changes that support healthier lives and healthy dreaming.   Grab the Tending Your Dreams’ free giveaway at tendyourdreams.com/freebie33 for your gift, just for tuning in. I also have some special eBook pricing for you.   Type in the code TYDeb50 to get your copy of 4x4 Habit Overhaul, or One Minute Intervals™: Sixty Seconds to a Healthier, Foodier You, or Depression Busters, at over half off the normal price. Purchase a book bundle using the same code, and save even more.  But ACT NOW, before this special eBook discount offer is gone.    Until next time, remember, your dreams are waiting for you to grab and tend:   Take courage.  Excel daily.  Never stop believing.  Dare to dream bigger.  Host Anita Agers Brooks can be found on various social media platforms, and you can discover additional dream tending tips at tendyourdreams.com.

Whether you’re plugging personal or professional invisible drains, a few key questions can stop the seepage. When you find yourself feeling frustrated, confused, angry, or afraid, the following questions will help you regain your composure, and identify the time, energy, money, and other resources drains challenging you.  Drain Plugging Practices Is this within my sphere of control?  If not, am I trying to infuse myself into a situation that I may potentially make worse by trying to help?  Are there details I may not be aware of that could alter how someone else is handling the situation?  What is lacking attention in my area while I'm expending time and energy concerning myself with what others are, or are not, doing? If this is within my sphere of control, how am I treating the people involved?  If asked, would they describe my actions as professional and thorough, while equally calm and reassuring?  Do those I lead see me as someone they can count on to make well-balanced decisions?  Am I someone whose actions support what I say--do I follow through and keep my word?  Do my subordinates see me as someone they can trust who has their back?  Am I giving others what I would like to receive if the tables were turned? When frustration rises, what am I afraid of? What consequences do I fear?  Why do I feel as if I "need" to control?  Who might I hurt if my efforts to control escalate, at work, in my community, at home, and/or within myself?  Where do I seem to get myself in trouble--are there patterns in my past that I can use as warning flags to protect me in the future? (i.e. Do I have a tendency to take control of meetings and dominate dialogue versus listening and considering other points of view? When I ask someone a question, do I cut them off as they're answering to add my "fix it" thoughts.)  This exercise has proven beneficial among many of the leaders, businesses, and dream tenders I’ve worked with.   Filling Needs:  Listen twice as much as you speak, and focus on truly hearing the other party. (Seek first to understand, and then to be understood.) Ask more questions and make fewer statements at people during challenging moments.  Slow down just a bit in speech, bring your decibel down slightly, and focus on sounding calm and reassuring when speaking to others.  You exist on purpose, with purpose, in order to fulfill an abundant purpose, so before speaking or acting, ask yourself, What is the core purpose in the response I'm getting ready to give?  Remember, you can't experience a miracle without first experiencing a problem. See challenges as potential miracles in the making, versus something that turns your world upside down. When you practice invisible drain plugging, it becomes easier over time.   This episode’s Dream Tending Tips: Self-analysis is the first key step in plugging any drain.  Review the processes connected to your drain: personal habits, work flow, outside vendors, customers, clients, what overlooked areas are stealing time, energy, and money? It’s tough to face your drains, but ignoring one will only cost you more than you’ve lost up to now.  Lack of education or training is an expensive drain. What might you not know that you don’t know? Don’t forget that fear lies at the core of anger. When you are mad, ask yourself, “What am I afraid of?” We get what we give. Consider this as you react to current circumstances.  Patterns from your past need not determine your future.  Never forget that you exist on purpose, with purpose, and for an abundant purpose. Do not allow insecurity to drain you of your dreams. Identify YOUR invisible drains. What are those areas that are costing you time, energy, money, and other resources? How can you start plugging them? Grab the Tending Your Dreams’ free giveaway at tendyourdreams.com/freebie32 for your gift, just for tuning in. I also have some special eBook pricing for you. Type in the code TYDeb50 to get your copy of 4x4 Habit Overhaul, or One Minute Intervals™: Sixty Seconds to a Healthier, Foodier You, or Depression Busters, at over half off the normal price. Purchase a book bundle using the same code, and save even more. But ACT NOW, before this special eBook discount offer is gone.   Until next time, remember, your dreams are waiting for you to grab and tend:  Take courage.  Excel daily.  Never stop believing.  Dare to dream bigger.  Host Anita Agers Brooks can be found on various social media platforms, and you can discover additional dream tending tips at tendyourdreams.com.

Let’s talk about invisible drains. Those areas that cost us time, energy, money, and other resources—professionally and personally. Those things you don’t necessarily identify as the true source of your anger, frustration, hardships, challenges, hurts, or pain. So what are they and how can you start plugging them?  Some of the more common invisible drains I’ve identified relate to our bodies, minds, and spirits. And whether you are a dream-tender who’s looking to improve your overall existence, are an entrepreneur ready to go to the next level, or need to plug seepage at your place of work, identifying your invisible drains is the first place to start.  Physical Issues: Why is it so easy for us to become couch potatoes? I don’t know, but I do know that taking care of ourselves is necessary if we want to tend our dreams long term. If we don’t do what’s best for our bodies, we’ll soon feel the consequences of that invisible drain.  Sometimes, physical issues go even deeper. In the past few years, I’ve developed serious thyroid problems, and I’m working on plugging that drain. (I’ll share my thyroid protocol on a later show.) But the point is, I refuse to spend my life metaphorically paralyzed by a physical impairment. Look at all of the people who are literally paralyzed, but continue to inspire the rest of us with their positive attitudes. No matter what state we’re in, we can make a difference by choice, in spite of the uncontrollable. If a physical issue is hindering your ability to tend your dreams, look at how you’re reacting to it, that may very well be your greatest invisible drain. Are there ways to work around your ailments? Can you do less until you’re strong enough to do more? Is there a greater purpose hidden in your pain?  Emotional/Mental Issues: Childhood conditioning is an invisible drain for most of us. Do you ever slow down to consider why you do what you do and how you go about your days? Our mental self-talk often mimics voices from our pasts. Another common invisible drain comes from efforts to juggle the projects, people, and processes in our lives. Do you strive to people-please? Do you feel pressure to get more done? Do you beat yourself up because of your reactions? Do you expend volumes of time and energy wishing life was easier? Simply understanding the root causes of our thoughts can provide welcome deliverance. Realizing the “why” behind what we do can relieve our anxious concerns. And sometimes, without realizing it, we have unresolved grief that needs attention, so we can be set free from ghosts of our past. Spiritual Issues: There are soul-deep places that can leave us longing for more out of life. If we attend to our bodies and minds, but fail to consider our spirits, we will eventually find our dreams falling flat. We can lose the drive, the desire, and the passion to continue, if our spirits are not fed. What does that look like for me? I find spending time outdoors to be one of the most energizing activities for my spiritual needs. There’s something about watching the squirrels play, seeing the greens, browns, and bright colors displayed on earth and the heavens, hearing the birds sing, feeling the breeze on my face, and breathing in the scents of nature, that infuses my soul with peace. Another spiritual practice I’ve developed is meditation. Finding a place of solitude, silence, and in my case, soaking up scripture. Listening to God as well as speaking to Him in a private space.   Filling Needs:  Personality Issues: Our unawareness of exactly how we’ve been wired that makes us who we are, drives our preferences, and creates chaos and craziness when we don’t get what we want. For instance, just as a tiny summary of my teachings as a certified personality trainer, I can tell you this:  There are Popular Personalities whose life filter is having fun. They want at least a little fun in every day, and if there isn’t any, they do their best to lighten things up. But beware, if their fun-meter gets broken, they are not very fun to be around. Powerful Personalities are driven to do things fast. They always have a long to-do list, either mentally or in black and white, that motivates them and helps them motivate others to get more done. But if they don’t get to check things off that list, watch out!  Perfect Personalities need things done right. Their philosophy is, “What’s the point if you aren’t going to do it right?” They analyze and organize the rest of us in hopes of getting us on board with their better ways. But beware of their backlash when people cut corners, rush, or disregard details. Peaceful Personalities want an easy existence. No pressure, no discomfort, no conflict, that’s their preferred way of getting through life. They often step up to help their fellow man or woman, but don’t understand why others have a hard time keeping it simple and letting things roll. If they feel blindsided, cornered, or drawn into conflict, prepare for immediate shut-down.  Because this is such a big subject, I’m going to make this week’s episode part one and share part two on my next release. So tune in, to discover more ways of identifying and plugging the invisible drains stealing the life out of your dreams.  Identifying and plugging invisible drains can revive, refuel, and restart your dream tending energy.   This episode’s Dream Tending Tips: If you are physically weak, you will have less strength to tend your dreams. But physical weakness does not guarantee dream destruction.  Look for creative ways to work around bodily impairments if necessary. Never forget that tending our dreams is as much about what we do in our minds, as anything we do physically. What self-talk do you need to plug? How are you plugging emotional/mental drains with ongoing encouragement and hope? Spiritual issues can kick the legs out from under your dreams. Pay attention to your soul-deep needs and feed your spirit what it requires. Where can you go to fill your soul? What practical areas are draining you? Financially? Broken processes? Lack of training?  Personality preferences are needs, not just wants, so learn to understand what your intrinsic drivers are.  Identify YOUR invisible drains. What are those areas that are costing you time, energy, money, and other resources? How can you start plugging them? Grab the Tending Your Dreams’ free giveaway at tendyourdreams.com/freebie31 for your gift, just for tuning in. I also have some special eBook pricing for you. Type in the code TYDeb50 to get your copy of 4x4 Habit Overhaul, or One Minute Intervals™: Sixty Seconds to a Healthier, Foodier You, or Depression Busters, at over half off the normal price. Purchase a book bundle using the same code, and save even more. But ACT NOW, before this special eBook discount offer is gone. Until next time, remember, your dreams are waiting for you to grab and tend: Take courage.  Excel daily.  Never stop believing.  Dare to dream bigger.  Host Anita Agers Brooks can be found on various social media platforms, and you can discover additional dream tending tips at tendyourdreams.com.

What happens when you lose your momentum? Life can change in a hurry, bringing your dreams to a screeching halt. It’s in these times, when we often need to find a safe place.  In author, Karen Jordan’s case, her dream collided with her husband’s, when he retired. As she put it, “Their collision was more like a shipwreck.”  Because of dealing with years of intensity in the job he was leaving, Karen’s husband was close to burn-out, he was chronically stressed, and wanted to do nothing more than go to a lake with his wife, so he could relax and stare at the water. But Karen was in a place where she needed the opposite. With momentum building in her writing career, she needed to get to work. She needed a place with internet, and quiet space to focus. In that season, their needs were not aligning—they were at 180 degree odds. Sometimes, the conflict described between this husband and wife doesn’t always come in two bodies, dream-tenders can feel that kind of collision paralleling in us. We can feel a spark of our dreams left, but that’s it. One part of us longs for rest, refreshment, and rejuvenation, while at the same time our mind is screaming, “I need to work. I need to be doing something productive. I. Need. The. Internet!” This scenario drives home the point of the proverb that says, “As iron sharpens iron, so does one person sharpen another.” There’s no doubt that Karen was learning and growing through the process of tending her dreams in spite of this challenge, but it was painful nonetheless.   Filling Needs: Are you conflicted by people who don’t understand your passions and goals? How do you protect your dream while protecting your relationships in a place of frustration? Where is your safe place when the momentum of your dreams is threatened? Don’t allow a challenge to mushroom into a crisis. Expect difficulties, and understand that growth comes through adversity, but though your momentum may temporarily halt, do not allow it to cause you to give up. Get B.A.C.K. at it. Breathe. Assess. Collect. Kickstart.    This episode’s Dream Planting Tips: Be honest about your dream-tending needs with those you love, clearly, respectfully, and firmly—and at an appropriate time. Cool down, never express yourself when you’re angry. Accept your emotions as a natural part of the dream-tending process. Remember that our dreams don’t always show up the way we want them to. Fear and frustration are inevitable at times, but acknowledging and accepting that fact, can get you back on track. If you feel like your dream is in jeopardy, it’s natural to feel defensive, but be careful not to hurt others as you figure out how to alter your course, and keep moving forward. Sometimes you need to close your lips until you are in a better frame of mind for discussion. Look in the mirror, as you express your true feelings in this moment. How would you respond to this person? What can you learn from looking them in the eyes? If you feel a ship-wreck has thrown your dream against the reefs of life, don’t quit. Put the pieces back together, and lean into the peace-maker, Jesus. Get off to yourself, just you and your dream, whenever possible, to retreat, re-evaluate, and restore your energy. Inspire yourself by reading Karen’s book, Words That Change Everything. Remember this fact: if dream-tending truly was easy, everyone would be out there doing it, but they’re not. Dare to become one of the few who acts in spite of life’s conflicts. To find out more about Karen Jordan and her book, Words That Change Everything, find her on social media and check out her website, karenjordan.net. Grab the Tending Your Dreams’ free giveaway at tendyourdreams.com/freebie30 for your gift, just for tuning in. I also have some special eBook pricing for you. Type in the code TYDeb50 to get your copy of 4x4 Habit Overhaul, or One Minute Intervals™: Sixty Seconds to a Healthier, Foodier You, or Depression Busters, at over half off the normal price. Purchase a book bundle using the same code, and save even more.  But ACT NOW, before this special eBook discount offer is gone.   Until next time, remember, your dreams are waiting for you to grab and tend: Take courage.  Excel daily.  Never stop believing.  Dare to dream bigger.  Host Anita Agers Brooks can be found on various social media platforms, and you can discover additional dream tending tips at tendyourdreams.com.

When you feel like you’re on the edge of a breakdown, you are likely on the verge of a breakthrough. My experiences with this truth have threatened my dreams countless times—but they have also provided rich fertilizer that has helped me tend my dreams and made them grow even bigger. However, I’ve often needed a coach to help me see the opportunity, and to show me how to take advantage of adversity.   Among a few others, one of the coaches I follow is Michael Hyatt. I love his book and highly encourage you to read, Your Best Year Ever: A 5 Step Plan for Achieving Your Highest Goals.   If you feel stifled in your dream-tending efforts, and want to move toward your best year ever, face your present—why are you where you’re at? Ask yourself these questions:  Why is this happening?  What has happened in the past that’s affecting my emotions today?  What have I stuffed?  Where have I settled?  One of the methods I learned from Michael Hyatt is writing your answers out—there’s power in putting words down in black and white. Until you process your past, you are not going to be able to freely pursue your future dreams.   Books and podcasts are inexpensive schools of knowledge, and can teach you how to tend your dreams more effectively and efficiently. Implement what you learn, and you will run ahead most dreamers.    Filling Needs: Are you numbing out in front of the TV, settling for apathy, versus truly tending your dreams? What do you “get to do,” that you’ve forgotten is a privilege? How can you make your someday thoughts a today reality?  No matter what life hands you, you can have vibrancy, tenacity, and energy, when you intentionally tend your dreams.   This episode’s Dream Planting Tips: Don’t allow yourself to numb out, to hide, or to push down the pain. Be intentional to find healthy venting places to let off steam. A professional counselor, a trusted friend, an encouraging pastor usually provide safe places for you to land.   Don’t let your past keep you rooted where you are, preventing you from becoming what you want to be. Inspire yourself by reading the Dream Giver, by Bruce Wilkerson.    Produce something new that provides a different effect. Get up and do something one hour each day, actively, toward pursuing your dream.  Imagine yourself in success. What does it look, sound, taste, smell, and feel like?   Read and release yourself through Lucille Zimmerman’s amazing book, Renewed: Finding Your Inner Happy in an Overwhelmed World.  What was missing in the past year of your life? Professionally, relationally, emotionally, mentally, financially? Make a list of the books or podcasts that could help you tend your dreams, and set a goal to begin filling yourself with education, inspiration, and encouragement. Schedule time with people who matter to you.  Invest in your dreams. Be reasonable, but give yourself the gift of learning more than you know today, by spending your money, energy, and time on education that will support your desires. Take my challenge and choose to live with real courage and rare passion.  Grab the Tending Your Dreams’ free giveaway at tendyourdreams.com/freebie29 for your gift, just for tuning in. I also have some special eBook pricing for you.    Type in the code TYDeb50 to get your copy of 4x4 Habit Overhaul, or One Minute Intervals™: Sixty Seconds to a Healthier, Foodier You, or Depression Busters, at over half off the normal price. Purchase a book bundle using the same code, and save even more.   But ACT NOW, before this special eBook discount offer is gone.    Until next time, remember, your dreams are waiting for you to grab and tend:   Take courage.  Excel daily.  Never stop believing.  Dare to dream bigger.  Host Anita Agers Brooks can be found on various social media platforms, and you can discover additional dream tending tips at tendyourdreams.com.

More than just complaining when he saw areas of frustration in the emergency services field, Darren Dake did something about it. His dream is to educate and encourage those who serve and protect, those who help and heal. Darren is a dream-tender, a tend-talker, and a dream-doer, and he lives by two principles.  Find out where it’s raining and lay down a tarp. Take all of your passions and giftings, and develop them into something that helps others—this often reveals a motivating business or other life-long endeavor. As a long term dream-tender, Darren understands that what you set your mind to will determine what you choose, which in turn, will alter your reality. He learned a long time ago to be careful about what he sets his sights on.  As he shares what his eighteen-year-old self dreamed about and tried, we see how his quest ultimately led him to discover his true interests. He didn’t allow disappointment to take root, but instead, learned lessons from setbacks and failures, and allowed his talents to guide him to his true calling.   Darren works with departments and agencies of all sizes, training and speaking often to large groups and conferences. But he has a special heart for the over 21,000 police departments with only ten officers or less, EMT’s and paramedics with tiny budgets, the volunteer firefighters, 911 operators in cramped quarters, and the coroner’s office operating with only one or two people. He helps leaders and their teams, no matter how large or small, determine what their strengths are, and educates them on how to further develop them to do a more effective job.   As Darren Dake well knows, none of us gets to do what we like or are the best at, all of the time, but sacrifices are necessary, in order to tend your dreams. We can learn disciplines and methods, from doing what challenges us, that propel us even further toward where we ultimately want to go. Other people can also help us move faster and more efficiently.   We all need influencers, encouragers, and inspirers to guide us toward our dreams. There will always be people who are two steps ahead of you, who can answer questions, show you the way, and lead you even further than you could go alone. But conversely, there will always be people two steps behind, who you can teach, reach, and show. Pouring into others makes your dreams worth tending.    Filling Needs: Are you so narrowed in on how you think your dream should look, that you’re missing deeper layers or inflections or details you are drawn to, that might allow you to fill a niche? Who have you sought out who can teach you more about tending your dreams?  Who are you mentoring and supporting? Remember the two-step rule: there are people ahead of you who can help, and people coming behind that you can encourage.    This episode’s Dream Planting Tips: Look for a lack and listen for complaints—what can YOU do something about?  When you feel frustrated by what others overlook, you may be the one called to enact a change or give voice to the issue. Who are the people you can relate to naturally, without much effort? This may be evidence pointing to your dream-tending destiny.  What can you help empower and heal? Is this kind of difference a dream you can pursue? Be open to a dream off-shoot or branch, as you follow your passion. Life can surprise you and reveal opportunities you never imagined, so don’t narrowly define your own options.  Don’t lose yourself as you navigate expectations, emotions, and necessary demands in order to tend your dreams. Unify your efforts with others who share your passions. Engage with people who feel strongly about similar or same dreams.  Monitor your motives daily: Am I considering other people’s needs and how they feel? Are my drives and ambitions other’s focused, or are they solely about me? Remember, if you don’t chase your dream, no one’s going to give it to you! To find out more about Darren Dake and the book, CODE: Living Healthy, Happy and Whole Submerged in Tragedy, Trauma and Death, find him on social media and check out his websites, darrendake.com, deathinvestigationtrainingacademy.com or thinlinecode.com.   Grab the Tending Your Dreams’ free giveaway at tendyourdreams.com/freebie28 for your gift, just for tuning in. I also have some special eBook pricing for you.   Type in the code TYDeb50 to get your copy of 4x4 Habit Overhaul, or One Minute Intervals™: Sixty Seconds to a Healthier, Foodier You, or Depression Busters, at over half off the normal price. Purchase a book bundle using the same code, and save even more.  But ACT NOW, before this special eBook discount offer is gone.   Until next time, remember, your dreams are waiting for you to grab and tend:   Take courage.  Excel daily.  Never stop believing.  Dare to dream bigger.  Host Anita Agers Brooks can be found on various social media platforms, and you can discover additional dream tending tips at tendyourdreams.com.

Any dream pursuit is guaranteed to come with mountaintop and valley experiences. Whether it’s something you are dealing with personally or whether you are challenged by a professional problem, some adversities can even throw you into a state of depression. And there’s one particular day of the year that will make you more prone than all the rest.    A few years ago, the third Monday in January was labeled Blue Monday by many experts in the mental health field. Some simply go with a date—January 21st.  But why the 21st or the third Monday in January?  Based on extensive research, as well as intensive interviews, I believe there are several contributors that solely, or linked with others, can throw even the hardiest soul into the pit of depression on or around the Blue Monday date. What are these triggers? Coming off the high of the holidays.  Family member/friend goodbyes, after holiday reunions. Fewer activities to look forward to. Holiday bills coming in.  Cabin fever.  Less exposure to fresh air, and nature's other healing properties. Cold and windy weather.  Less sunshine.  Cold and flu season peak.  Reduced amounts of exercise.  Less exposure to the blues, greens, yellows, reds, pinks, and oranges, that are known energizers according to the spectrum of the psychology of color. Higher incidence of death during the holidays, causing more to grieve. Fewer face-to-face social interactions with other human beings.  New Year's resolutions have now failed. Regardless of when depression hits, there are some things you can do to help yourself, apart from seeking professional support for deep-seeded, clinical depression. So how do you off-set some of these melancholy contributors?  When it comes to post-holiday blues, or dark clouds that gather any time of the year, there are a few simple tips that can help.  *Take up a new hobby. It can be something you’ve always wanted to try, but choose something that requires concentrated effort. The human mind cannot think two distinctly different thoughts simultaneously, so for those used to the analytical world of left-brain work, try a creative right-brain project, like taking up drawing, painting, writing, or learning a musical instrument. Dream tending fits this healing practice perfectly.  *When sadness lingers long after your loved ones’ holiday visit is over, begin planning your next get-together. It’s been proven that anticipation is as good or better than an actual event.   If you aren’t necessarily sad over missing a person, but boredom and the blahs are your nemesis, plan once-a-month mini-vacations or weekend getaways. Your destinations don’t have to be extravagant or costly, you can even transform your home into a tropical fantasy island for a couple of days. Just choose something you can outline to give you a positive event to work toward, and allow your mind to look forward to the big date.   *If holiday bills are stressing you out, take thirty minutes to an hour, and create a budget that you write on paper or a computer. By putting things in black and white, you’ll give yourself a true perspective. Often, a situation feels more overwhelming when we aren’t clear on the details. What we fear is often much worse than the facts.   *Cabin fever is a real malady. Get out. Breathe in fresh air. And breathe in a fresh spirit.   *When it’s cold outside, heat yourself up by giving special treatment to your toes. Soak your feet in a warm epsom salt bath. The magnesium and other minerals in epsom salt have many healing properties, including natural anti-depressant chemicals, and when you warm your feet in water, you get an inside and outside boost of healing heat.   *Have your doctor check your Vitamin D levels to see if you need supplements to get you up to par. One of the reasons many people suffer from higher degrees of depression is due to less sun exposure, which offers natural infusions of Vitamin D, a known depression-buffering vitamin.   *If you can’t exercise outside, don’t have a treadmill or other home equipment, can’t get to the gym, or can’t devote 20-60 minutes to an exercise regimen then do one minute intervals when and where you can. Sixty seconds of jumping jacks, running in place, skipping an invisible rope, dancing, kicking, air boxing, or anything else that gets your limbs moving will work. If you do 20 intervals in a day, you’ve gotten twenty minutes of exercise in.   *When you feel like avoiding everyone is precisely when you might need to be around people the most. Withdrawal from human interaction is a symptom of depression. If the black clouds of overwhelming emotions are causing you to pull back from other people, do what feels uncomfortable, make yourself do something social with others.   Depression Busting Challenges: Will you commit to reduced amounts of sugar, caffeine, and simple carbohydrates? Are you eating whole foods, proven to buffer against depression? Do you give yourself things to look forward to? Depression busting often takes a consistent and concerted effort, sometimes supported by medical assistance.   This episode’s Dream Planting Tips: Eat natural depression busting foods, such as those listed on this week’s free giveaway at tendyourdreams.com/freebie27 or in my eBook, Depression Busters, found at tendyourdreams.com/shop. Clean a room, a corner of a room, or tackle one small cleaning project—the sense of achievement will infuse you with a spark of energy.    Get adequate sleep. Fatigue, especially chronic lack of sleep, can help throw us into depression and/or keep us there.  Set one tiny goal, and then work toward accomplishing it.    Schedule something you can look forward to within the next 30 days.  Do something physical—motion moves our minds up.    Get out of the house and meet a friend for coffee, tea, or lunch.  Write down at least one thing daily that you are grateful for. The act of putting your thanks in black and white will embed positivity in your brain.  Read Getting Through What You Can’t Get Over, and/or other books that will support your own self-care and/or that of a professional.  See a professional therapist or counselor. Just as you wouldn’t mess around with your physical health, don’t risk your quality of life when it comes to your mental state.   Grab the Tending Your Dreams’ free giveaway at tendyourdreams.com/freebie27 for your gift, just for tuning in. I also have some special eBook pricing for you.   Type in the code TYDeb50 to get your copy of 4x4 Habit Overhaul, or One Minute Intervals™: Sixty Seconds to a Healthier, Foodier You, or Depression Busters, at over half off the normal price. Purchase a book bundle using the same code, and save even more.   But ACT NOW, before this special eBook discount offer is gone.    Until next time, remember, your dreams are waiting for you to grab and tend:   Take courage.  Excel daily.  Never stop believing.  Dare to dream bigger.  Host Anita Agers Brooks can be found on various social media platforms, and you can discover additional dream tending tips at tendyourdreams.com.

Rest and energy levels are vitally important to your emotional health. Sleeping well, proper pacing, perspective pauses, intentionally managing energy levels in four zones, and balancing taking action and taking breaks. Many things associated with living, leading, and loving, cast a shadow across our joy and cause us to slide, or at least start sliding toward depression. In this episode we continue our "Depression Busters" series, as we discuss the importance of rest and refreshing. The post 087 – Depression Busters: Rest and Energy Levels appeared first on Calibrate360.

Rest and energy levels are vitally important to your emotional health. Sleeping well, proper pacing, perspective pauses, intentionally managing energy levels in four zones, and balancing taking action and taking breaks. Many things associated with living, leading, and loving, cast a shadow across our joy and cause us to slide, or at least start sliding toward depression. In this episode we continue our "Depression Busters" series, as we discuss the importance of rest and refreshing. The post 087 – Depression Busters: Rest and Energy Levels appeared first on Calibrate360.